Inlander 03/14/2024

DOUGLAS

EDITOR’S NOTE

It’s something of a cliche to say that journalists are bad at math. Case in point: me. Before I took any news writing class in college, I had years of mathematics under my belt. Term after term of calculus, but also courses with fancy names like set theory, differential equations, discrete mathematics and more.

To me, math can be magical and astounding. I remember learning trigonometry and feeling like I’d been given some key to unlock the universe. To this day, just pondering the fact that everything travels on a wave — a fire’s warmth, the sun’s light, music, your words to my ears, the ocean — helps tune me into the music of the cosmos. Far out, sure, but scientifically sound.

So I was beyond lucky — a statistical impossibility, really — when I met a fellow wayfarer in my wife’s father, Larry Shaw. A person of powerful intelligence and warmth, he was the brightest light in any room. It didn’t take long for me to learn that he’d invented PI DAY. The Prince of Pi, himself. I tell anyone I can that I’m related to him, and the reaction usually shifts from incredulity to excited wonder.

He’d like that. Skepticism and questioning leading to joyful excitement. So this Pi Day, take a break (preferably at 3:14 pm), calculate your place in the universe and be happy about it. And eat some pie.

— NICHOLAS DESHAIS, editor

I use it primarily when I’m budgeting. I do download premade budget templates because I probably couldn’t do all of that math without error.

BYRON CRONKRIGHT

Well, I calculate how much pot I can buy at the dispensary. And that’s probably as far as my advanced math goes.

Do you wish your math knowledge went further?

Oh man, of course I do. Math is so important!

MEGAN BISBEE

I really haven’t used math as an adult. I get that math is used everywhere all the time, like in our computer systems or social media algorithms, but I just haven’t specifically used it myself.

JOSH SMITH

Every day working in the land survey business.

Was that math something you learned while in school or as an adult?

I learned to do it in school, and then I learned to cheat and use computers in my adult career.

ROSHELLE CLELAND

I manage budgets using spreadsheets. So, I guess someone else — an Excel spreadsheet — does that math for me.

Craig

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This Land Is Their Land

The fencing of the West and the enduring question of who this land was made for

BY CMARIE FUHRMAN

The sign makes it clear; I am not allowed past this gate. But I trespass anyway. What irony — the name of this subdivision. Whitetail. This street: Migratory Way. One of the largest passages for elk and deer making their way from winter to summer feeding. There were camas fields here, too. Another seasonal migration.

This is a seasonal passage for me, too. I take this walk in the winter because all other routes are closed by deep, unplowed snow. And so I make my morning miles knowing I am pushing past boundaries set by an entity with the privilege and money to determine who passes here.

In winter, the coat, gloves and hat mask who

I am. The cameras surely pick me up as I enter and leave, but so far, none of the golf-cart-driving rule enforcers have stopped me. The workers in white trucks wave as they pass me in my Yaktrax studded boots. They don’t live here either. I keep the dogs on leashes, which I suppose makes my trespass less provoking. Even as my heart rebels, I am trying to look like I fit in here.

“I am trying to look like I fit in,” my friend says into my ear as I walk. I have called him; these walks offer a chance to catch up with friends who live far from this mountain town. “I still feel like an outsider,” he says.

We are talking about being Native in academia. Being writers. About spaces traditionally not open to people like us. He tells me the joy he felt when a Native student told him that seeing him teaching the class, rather than being taught about, gave him hope.

An unsettling trip down Migratory Way.

“I was never taught that I could give hope to anyone,” he says. We were taught to look to others for hope. To aspire to be like those white teachers/writers/leaders placed in front of us.

Very few of these houses are occupied year-round, yet their drives are plowed, their heat is on. They sit like empty faces all in a row. Our house sits just outside the fence that surrounds this other neighborhood. It was built in haste, supposed to be a weekend cabin, not meant for full-time living. When I told a friend from my neighborhood that I was afraid of getting in trouble for walking in Whitetail, he said to tell them, “I’m your neighbor.” He emphasized neighbor like it was the code word. I practice saying it, but I know that if I am confronted I will likely cower and leave.

“I feel like some people want me out,” my friend says. I am halfway around the loop I’ll make. “They look at me with those eyes…”

“I was a duck raised among geese, conditioned to believe I was one of them.”

I know what he means. I have felt that look that says belong here. Raised in a white home with white parents, I attended a white school, read white books and wrote white words. I live in a predominantly white town, work in a predominantly white job. I grew up in a world that saw me as white, yet I wasn’t. I was a duck raised among geese, conditioned to believe I was one of them.

What others perceived on the outside didn’t align with my internal reality. It took me years to realize that the discomfort I felt, both from within and from others, stemmed from their preconceived notions.

Eventually I was able to see myself as others did and, in doing so, allowed myself to grow into the fullness of that identity. I would never be one of them, but I would continue to insert myself into white spaces — to, like my friend, be that “someone who looks like me” for the person striving to see themselves in the places they want to be. Courage in place, but fear remains inevitable. Despite having my head up and smiling, I am sure that every Whitetail employee is the one who is coming to tell me to get out.

“I am afraid of being pushed out,” my friend says. There are so many who patrol these traditionally white spaces enforc ing rules made to protect their ideals, their sense of right. “It’s so pervasive,” my friend continues, “I often feel like I will convince myself I don’t belong.”

The last house on my walk is built in the colonial style. The windows curtained to a leer. I keep my dogs off the lawn worried that the slightest discoloration of their perfectly white snow will cause me to lose this privilege that should have been mine all along.

My friend says, “You are like a sister to me,” and I say good bye before I exit the gate back into my own neighborhood.

Months ago, sitting on the couch with my sister in the neighborhood where we grew up, I said, “I wonder why I was an orphan for 11 months and you were adopted three days after you were born?” My legal sister, she is freckled and light. Not blood relatives, but sisters. She looks at me for a long time, and I can see the answer behind her gateless eyes. “This wasn’t a place for brown babies,” she says, and I feel the curse of that land on my skin and let it seep in. When it reaches my heart, it becomes a dare. n

CMarie Fuhrman is the author of the collection of poems, Camped Beneath the Dam, and co-editor of two anthologies, Cascadia Field Guide and Native Voices: Indigenous Poetry, Craft, and Conversations. Fuhrman is the associate director of the graduate program in creative writing at Western Colorado University. She resides in West Central Idaho.

DISSENT

Critic

of the Regime

Spokane has become a home for Ukrainians fleeing war, Russians fleeing Putin — and one man and his family who worked with Alexei Navalny

BY NATE SANFORD

They came for him on the day Russia invaded Ukraine.

It was Feb. 24, 2022, just after 9 pm. Arkadiy Paserba was eating dinner with his wife and two teenage children at their apartment in the Russian capital of Moscow when the doorbell rang. Three police officers stood in the hallway.

“I told them, ‘Guys, could you join me? Let’s take dinner together,’” Paserba says. “‘What do you want in my house so late in the evening?’”

The police weren’t there for dinner.

“We want you to go with us because we have some problems with your posts on Facebook,” Paserba recalls the police saying.

Earlier that day, Russian tanks had rolled across the Ukrainian border, kickstarting what would become the largest attack on a European country since World War II. President Vladimir Putin appeared on Russian television downplaying the invasion as a “special military operation.” But, Paserba, a longtime critic of Putin’s regime, was unconvinced.

Paserba and his wife, Svetlana, had been attending rallies and speaking out against the government for years. In 2018, Paserba volunteered to work on the presidential campaign of Alexei Navalny, the Russian opposition leader whose suspicious death in a Russian prison camp last

month sparked global protests and condemnation from numerous world leaders.

Paserba’s political activity landed him in trouble before. He previously worked as an associate professor at the Plekhanov Russian University of Economics teaching information systems management. But in 2021, Paserba says his supervisor gave him a choice: Stop talking about politics during lectures or leave his job.

Paserba left the job.

Paserba was similarly defiant when the police came for him on the war’s first night. He asked them to show paperwork and explain what charges he was being arrested under. He says they didn’t have answers — just vague references to a Facebook post from a Russian political figure calling for protests that Paserba shared earlier that day.

The officers demanded that Paserba come with them voluntarily so his wife and children wouldn’t have to see him taken away in handcuffs, Paserba says.

Paserba refused.

“What do you have against me?” he asked the police. “Do you have protocols? Orders for my arrest? Do you have decisions from the court?”

The officers repeated their demands, and the debate continued for some time.

“It was like a lecture for me,” Paserba says.

Two more officers showed up — this time in full black

tactical uniforms. As he continued to argue with the police, Paserba’s blood pressure rose. He’d had a heart attack one year earlier.

His wife started to grow concerned and eventually called an ambulance. When medics showed up, they found that Paserba was having a heart arrhythmia episode and took him to the hospital. Police rode with him in the ambulance.

Paserba’s political speech had made him a target of the Russian government. But he wasn’t deterred.

On Feb. 28, 2022, as he recovered under watch of armed guards in the hospital, Paserba updated his Facebook profile picture to an image with a Ukrainian flag.

“Free Navalny!” the image read.

Paserba is recounting the story of his arrest during an interview at the Spokane Valley Library, where he and his wife have just finished getting help filing their first American tax returns.

“We like Spokane very much,” Paserba says. “A little city in the far, far west.”

Spokane has long been a hub for Russian-speaking people. There are more than a dozen Russian-language churches and several Slavic grocery stores. The Inland Northwest’s climate is similar to Eastern Europe, and in the 1990s, thousands of Russian-speaking people fleeing religious persecution came to Spokane.

Russia’s war in Ukraine prompted another wave of refugees. Since February 2022, more than 30,000 refugees have moved to Washington state. Mark Finney, the director of Spokane-based refugee housing nonprofit Thrive International, estimates that roughly 3,000 of them ended up in Spokane.

“It felt like home for the first few folks who came,” Finney says. “When the war started, a lot of people had relatives or friends or acquaintances in this area that were their first point of connection to move here.”

Arkadiy Paserba fled Putin’s Russia and now lives in Spokane. ERICK DOXEY PHOTO

The war in Ukraine has also prompted large numbers of Russians to leave their country. In 2023, U.S. Customs and Border Protection encountered 57,000 Russians entering the U.S., compared with just 13,000 in 2021. Many cross at the U.S.-Mexico border.

The number of Russian refugees who have moved to Spokane since the war is harder to pin down, but it’s still a significant number, Finney says. He estimates that Thrive has seen one Russian family for every 15 or 20 Ukrainian families.

Many of the Russians who have escaped to the U.S. are fleeing mandatory conscription. Others, like Paserba, are political refugees.

Before he started teaching at the university, Paserba spent 13 years in the Russian navy, working partly as a navigator on a submarine carrying nuclear warheads. His politics graudally changed, and he retired from the military in 1996.

“I became a pacifist,” Paserba says. “Much more patient and much more humanistic.”

In 2011, Russia was rocked by widespread allegations of corruption and election interference. Paserba and his wife became involved in the protests that broke out across the country, which some English language media began describing as the “Snow Revolution.”

“I saw everything around us, and I could not sleep,” Paserba says. “I would wake up at 4 am and begin to think about our future, our country, our children.”

Navalny, the opposition leader who died last month, was a key figure in the protests. The lawyer and anticorruption activist was credited for helping mobilize people through his blog posts.

Navalny ran for president during Russia’s 2018 elections, and Paserba leapt at the opportunity to help. He volunteered at Navalny’s campaign headquarters in Moscow and was later tasked with working as a representative monitoring the election process in the Russian region of Mordovia.

Navalny was eventually forced to suspend his campaign because of legal charges brought by the government, but Paserba stayed in Saransk, Mordovia’s capital, and did election monitoring for a different opposition candidate.

Monitoring elections in Russia — where numerous international observers have reported widespread fraud — is a tall order. Paserba says an agent with the Federal Security Service, or FSB, accompanied him on election day and tried to pressure him into leaving before the polls closed.

“He told me: ‘Arkadiy, do you want to go look at our new stadium? Do you want to have dinner with me? Do you want to go sightseeing in Saransk?’”

Paserba told the agent he would join him for sightseeing, but only after the polls closed at 8 pm.

“After 8 pm?” the agent replied. “What for?”

Putin won the election, defeating the other seven other candidates with an overwhelming 77% of the vote.

After being forced to suspend his campaign, Navalny continued his anti-corruption activism. He entered a coma in 2020 after a suspected poisoning by the FSB and was evacuated to Germany for treatment. He was quickly arrested upon his return to Russia.

In March 2022, Paserba spent a week at the Vinogradov hospital in Moscow, recovering from his heart ailment under the watch of police. He took photos of the boredlooking officers standing guard in their warm fur caps and

recorded videos of himself arguing with his captors.

“What did I violate? What did I do?” Paserba says to an officer in one video, incensed.

Paserba was discharged that month, with orders to appear in front of a judge. He was given a court document that said the right to peaceful assembly may be subject to restrictions for the purpose of “preventing disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of other persons.”

But Paserba says the protests that were the topic of his Facebook post were totally nonviolent and peaceful.

“I’m not an extremist, I’m not a terrorist,” he says he told the judge. “I only wrote something on social media, it’s not a dangerous activity.”

The judge let Paserba off with a fine of 20,000 Russian rubles, or about $220 — the minimum penalty for promoting “non-sanctioned rallies” against the war.

That same month, Navalny was also facing the Russian legal system — this time on charges of embezzlement and contempt of court. A judge sentenced him to nine years in prison during a trial that the European Union and other international organizations condemned as politically motivated.

Paserba was lucky to escape with only a small fine, but he worried his family was in danger. He and his wife decided it was time to send their children out of the country.

They knew a couple in Spokane through mutual Facebook friends. They’d never actually met in person, but after a brief Skype session, Paserba decided to take the risk and send their children to stay with the Spokane couple.

Before he followed them, Paserba says police continued to sporadically show up at his Moscow apartment and warn him not to attend rallies.

“It was psychological pressure,” Paserba says.

Paserba and his wife had a tourist visa from a previous trip to the United States that expired at the end of April. With the clock ticking, they decided that they, too, had to leave. The couple arrived in the U.S. on April 20 — a little over a week before the visa expired.

“It was the last train,” Paserba says. “We escaped Russia. Forever.”

Paserba still has family in Russia, but he isn’t sure if or when he’ll be able to return. “It’s very dangerous for us,” Paserba says.

Last year, Navalny was sentenced to an additional 19 years and transferred to a penal colony inside the Arctic Circle.

On Feb. 16, Russian authorities announced that Navalny, 47, had died after taking a walk and feeling unwell. Thousands of Russians turned out for his funeral in Moscow. World leaders were quick to blame Putin.

“He was really important,” Paserba says. “I wasn’t his close friend, but I saw him, he saw me.”

Paserba’s family is now applying for political asylum in the United States. They have an immigration hearing scheduled for next year. He continues to speak his mind about the Russian government and its war on Ukraine.

“Hundreds of thousands killed — what for?” Paserba says. “What is the reason? I don’t understand it.”

Paserba now works for the International Rescue Committee, helping refugees like himself get settled with housing and other resources. He says he continues to be surprised by how many programs and organizations exist here to help not just his family, but “all the people who are in some dramatic period of their life.”

“There are people from all over the world,” Paserba says. “Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Eritrea, Russia, Ukraine and all over Europe. Crowds of people are coming to Spokane.” n nates@inlander.com

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Hydrogen Hub

The

BY SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL

Last fall, the Pacific Northwest got the news that our region was chosen as one of seven regional “hydrogen hubs” around the country, with the promise of about $1 billion in federal funding to create, store and increase uses of hydrogen fuel.

The Pacific Northwest Hydrogen Hub, expected to create 10,000 or more jobs, will specifically focus on “green” hydrogen — using only renewable energy resources to power the electrolysis process that rips hydrogen atoms from the oxygen atoms in water to create hydrogen fuel.

When used in fuel cells, the only resulting emissions from burning that fuel are water and heat.

The regional hub includes proposed projects from 16 companies in Washington, Oregon and Montana. The team behind the hub is currently negotiating each of those projects with the Department of Energy, and could start the official planning process this spring.

The $7 billion put into the hubs over the next decade (from the 2021 Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act) is expected to be leveraged for private and local matching dollars totaling nearly $50 billion, according to the Department of Energy. The hubs will play a key role in increasing hydrogen production, with the lofty goal of getting the price down to $1 per kilogram by 2031.

Club, who also serves on the board of the Pacific Northwest hub.

“A truly green hydrogen hub, made from renewable energy, is the only kind that Sierra Club endorses,” Everett says. “If you are going to use more energy to make hydrogen than it provides, there better be a really good reason.”

If something can simply be plugged in, such as electric vehicles or hot water heaters, Everett says we shouldn’t look to transition that to hydrogen.

But for energy intensive industries, and fuel for aviation, shipping and long-haul trucking, hydrogen could be promising and help reduce climate impacts, Everett says.

“The thing that gets me out of bed in the morning on this issue is high heat manufacturing,” Everett says. “I want to bring manufacturing back to this country and … hydrogen is a promising way to power our industrial uses in a green way.”

Aaron Feaver, the executive director of the Washington State University-led organization JCDREAM (the Joint Center for Development and Research in Earth Abundant Materials), which helped the region apply to become a hydrogen hub, agrees that hydrogen makes more sense in some uses than others.

The primary goal is reducing greenhouse gas emissions, particularly from hard-to-decarbonize sectors like industrial manufacturing processes that require massive amounts of heat. Hydrogen can also fuel a variety of transportation methods.

Some environmental groups are wary, noting that some of the hubs intend to use natural gas (methane) to create hydrogen — a process that still emits carbon dioxide — and that burning hydrogen in industrial processes can create nitrous oxide, the third-most common greenhouse gas.

Despite the fact it’s the most abundant element in the universe, isolating hydrogen with electricity is also really inefficient.

It takes about 50 kilowatt hours of electricity (about what the average household uses over two days) and 14 to 20 gallons of water to create 1 kilogram of hydrogen gas, which then only provides about 80% of that energy when burned, according to a Washington state Department of Commerce report released in January. By comparison, it takes less than a tenth of that energy to make 1 gallon of gasoline, which provides about the same output.

That’s why it’s key to produce hydrogen with renewable energy and to focus on energy-intensive end uses, says Robin Everett, the deputy western regional field director for the Sierra

For example, since fertilizer producers currently pull hydrogen from methane to combine it with nitrogen for their products, if clean hydrogen is available, the emissions can be reduced, he says.

“That’ll be a really interesting and compelling project for farmers in the state of Washington,” Feaver says.

Likewise, while hydrogen is less efficient for lighter vehicles than current battery-based systems, it may be more efficient for heavy-duty trucking that requires longer distances and crossing mountain passes, he says.

The Department of Energy plans to roll out funding for the hubs in four phases over the next decade, with hydrogen production slated to come online several years from now.

But because some smaller Pacific Northwest projects are already well past the planning phase, Feaver says he thinks some could start producing hydrogen far sooner.

“Some of the folks that have been aligned with the hydrogen hub are already out there doing projects in the region, and in some cases might be producing hydrogen through electrolysis later this year,” he says. “We’re going to need every tool we have in the toolkit in order to reach zero carbon emissions by the 2050 timeframe.” n samanthaw@inlander.com

Jake Mayson Jim Hedrick

State of Emergency

The crisis in overdoses is heard at City Hall. Plus, Washington finally bans child marriage; and a new community center in downtown Spokane.

BY INLANDER STAFF

Spokane has seen an average of 6.4 overdose calls per day this year — a 30% increase over last year and almost double the rate in 2022. In response to the crisis, the Spokane City Council is preparing to pass a resolution asking Washington Gov. Jay Inslee to declare a state of emergency for the opioid and fentanyl crisis. The resolution was drafted by Council member Paul Dillon. The state of emergency could open up additional resources and increase funding for peer support programs, overdose-prevention drugs, education, intervention and treatment, the draft resolution says. The resolution also seeks to address concerns about a lack of reliable overdose data in Spokane County. It asks the Regional Health District to make overdoses a “notifiable condition,” which would require faster reporting when overdoses happen. It also asks local homeless shelters to provide monthly reports on the number of demonstrated uses of opioids in their facilities and of overdoses there. The resolution will likely come to a vote before the end of the month. (NATE SANFORD)

NO MORE CHILD BRIDES

Gov. Jay Inslee signed into law last week a ban on child marriage in Washington state The passage of House Bill 1455 into law means that no one under 18 will be married in the state. Previously, those who were 17 could get married with parental permission, and kids even younger could marry with permission from a court. In March 2019, the Inlander wrote a cover story pointing out that while the U.S. considers child marriage a “human rights abuse” in other countries, all but two states at the time allowed kids under 18 to get married, generally with parental consent or approval from a judge. That same year, Washington lawmakers didn’t even give a bill to ban child marriage a hearing. Since then, nine more states, now including Washington, have banned it. But that means the practice remains legal in 39 states. (Ahem, here’s looking at you, Idaho, Oregon, California, Montana, etc.) (SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL)

HOME FOR ALL

In December, we reported on the revival of SAN, formerly Spokane Aids Network, which was receiving state funding for the first time in almost a decade. At the time, SAN was still searching for a new home. Meanwhile, Spokane Pride, the organization behind the Spokane Pride Parade, was also seeking a new headquarters. That laid the groundwork for collaboration between the two, leading to the creation of a new LGBTQ+ community center in downtown Spokane — the SAN Pride Center. The two organizations opened their location at the end of February, at 715 E. Sprague Ave. The center is still in its infancy, but interested folks can call 509-760-4676 with questions about office hours or SAN and Spokane Pride’s community offerings. (COLTON RASANEN) n

Author Jess Walter leads the orchestra through his stories as they set the soundtrack to scenes he narrates from his best-selling novels.

Irrational, Transcendental and Infinite

Local math teachers show their students how much fun the language of the cosmos truly is

BY COLTON RASANEN

Pi is undoubtedly the world’s most popular irrational number. And that’s because it’s unequivocally cool — I mean, what other mathematical constant has its own day?

On its face, pi is a simple concept: It’s the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter. Ancient Babyonians and Egyptians used the number to determine the area of a circle. Mathematicians through the ages have refined their understanding of pi, but overall its use has remained the same.

Dive deeper, though, and you’ll find its fathomless complexities. For example, humankind will never know every single digit of pi. It’s infi-

nite and random, meaning that every combination of numbers that ever has or ever will exist can be found somewhere in pi. (Luckily, I didn’t locate my Social Security number in the first million digits.) It’s transcendental, which essentially means that algebra can’t explain it. It’s irrational, which means it can’t be written as a ratio or fraction.

So, in celebration of Pi Day and all its mysterious, mathematical glory, we’re highlighting the work of some math teachers in the Inland Northwest who keep students engaged and excited.

Because, math is fun!

SARA BALL-VADEBONCOEUR

First grade teacher, Roosevelt Elementary School

“Alright, turn your math brains on,” Sara BallVadeboncoeur tells her first grade class on Spokane’s South Hill in a sing-songy voice.

A dozen 6-year-olds sit in a semicircle clump in the middle of the room watching a short video of colored candies — yellow ones and orange ones, followed by green, purple and red ones — being dropped in a bottle. One after the other, they drop too fast to count on their fingers.

“OK,” she instructs, “talk to someone about what they saw.”

Energized chatter picks up as the students discuss the video.

“If you ate those, would you get a tummy ache?” one student asks, loud enough for more than their partner to hear.

“Are those M&Ms?” another student chimes in.

After a few minutes, Ball-Vadeboncoeur claps rhyth-

mically to regain her students’ attention and asks them to guess how many candies are in the bottle.

Her students are learning about estimation — a way of roughly calculating a number.

Students yell out their guesses. One particularly confident student shouts, “310!”

None are correct — there are 91 candies. But it doesn’t matter. The actual point was to engage all the students in this problem, which is a lesson on doubledigit addition.

“A lot of people think of math as worksheets, you know, [students] sitting down with a worksheet, adding, subtracting, solving equations,” she says later. “It’s really so much more. I want them to look at something like a problem and be able to have a starting point. … I want them to learn to be self-starters.”

Once her students have calmed as much as 6-yearolds can be, she finally puts the number of each colored

candy — 19 yellow, 15 orange, 19 green, 17 purple and 21 red — up on the board and asks again how many candies are in the bottle.

Ball-Vadeboncoeur has been teaching for about two decades. In that time she’s perfected her craft and pushed past the notion that there can only be one right way to solve problems — like the video she showed her class today.

“In the past, it would have been ‘Well, you’re just going to take these numbers and line them up and add them all together like this,’” she recalls.

“I’m trying to foster a sense that there are many ways to look at a problem,” she says, smiling as she talks about her class. “It’s then my job as a teacher to watch what they’re doing and assess where they are in [solving] a problem.”

Some students may be able to think through a problem and split numbers like 15 into a 10 and a 5, while

others are only comfortable counting by ones.

Students group up to solve the problem. One student working solo tries to count by ones with wooden sticks so she can add them all up at the end. Another pair works on a piece of paper as they start adding numbers in groups of 10.

Ball-Vadeboncoeur walks around the room and asks students about their process. Instead of offering an answer, she has the students talk her through their process. She doesn’t tell them they’re right or wrong, but instead listens and asks questions where there may be confusion.

“I try to never point out a wrong answer,” she says. “Most of it is information I’m collecting, like, ‘Oh, I need to work with this person on a realistic answer.’ That gives me a starting point to go and see if we can visualize this together and work on it together.”

By letting her students work through problems on their own without a fear of failure, Ball-Vadeboncoeur has crafted a classroom where math can be exciting and attainable. Something that hasn’t always been true for many students, she says.

Nate Ostrander

CHINOOK LOUNGE

MARCH 15 TH & 16 TH

6:30 PM - 9:30 PM

Nate Ostrander's blues influenced guitar work and powerful voice set the audience up for an evening of great music. Nate covers music from many decades and many genres.

Whack A Mole

NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE

MARCH 15 TH & 16 TH 8:30 PM - 12:30 AM

Whack A Mole brings the party! Come on down to the Nighthawk Lounge and enjoy this fun and enthusiastic cover band!

Echo Elysium

CHINOOK LOUNGE

MARCH 22 ND & 23 RD

6:30 PM - 9:30 PM

Echo Elysium, a nuanced and dynamic electric and acoustic guitarist. Echo Elysium is influenced by a wide range of genres from southern gospel and rhythm & blues to Prince and Pink Floyd.

Pastiche

NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE

MARCH 22 ND & 23 RD

8:30 PM - 12:30 AM

Get ready to get your groove on with this pop, rock, funky cover band, playing hits from the 70’s to the present.

Sara Ball-Vadeboncoeur: “I want them to learn to be self-starters.” YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Employees Students Friends Parents

If you can’t make it to San Francisco’s Exploratorium to celebrate Pi Day, that’s OK. The day’s gone international, so you can mark the math equation — er, occasion — anywhere you are. Here are some ideas:

Stand in the middle of the Riverfront Park Rotary Fountain, measure its circumference and diameter, then prove the existence of pi by dividing its circumference by its diameter. Magic!

Buy a personal sweet pie at Birdie’s Pie Shop (712 N. Monroe St.) during their all-day “Irrational Pie Event” celebration. They’re only $3.14! Other local bakeries — including Bean & Pie, the Grain Shed and more — are also celebrating; check with your favorite for specials.

Count three things you can see, one thing you can touch, four things you can hear, one thing you can smell, and five things you can taste. With that, you’ll have Sensory Pi (3.1415).

“IRRATIONAL, TRANSCENDENTAL AND INFINITE” CONTINUED... BRANDI WORTMANN

Seventh and eighth grade teacher, Centennial Middle School

Brandi Wortmann’s Spokane Valley classroom at Centennial Middle School has two rows of desks on opposite sides of the room with circular tables clustered in the middle for group work. Her own desk sits in the back of the room.

But she doesn’t spend much time behind the desk. Wortmann’s energetic and sometimes unexpected teaching style works best when she can roam the room, using her entire space.

A math teacher for more than a decade, Wortmann’s main goal is ensuring her students are fluent in her subject. And as a seventh and eighth grade math teacher, she’s got two years to do it.

“Math is a foreign language,” she says. “[It] boils down to addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. … And if you can’t speak it, it’s just going to be a lot harder for you.”

Part of that literacy includes bringing in real-life problems involving real numbers. At the end of each year, once all the Common Core Math Standards have been met, that’s exactly what Wortmann does.

In a lesson about financing with different interest rates, she tells her students that she’s planning to buy a Peloton exercise bike. She presents them with three different options, each with different interest rates, and asks them to calculate how much she’ll pay per month in each plan.

Then she asks their opinion about which plan to choose. It’s a relatively simple lesson about finances, but that real-world connection is what makes it effective, she says.

Wortmann also focuses on connecting with students to make the classroom feel like a safe place to learn and, realistically, to fail. To accomplish this, she’s introduced a seven-day late policy that allows students the chance to re-do an assignment that they may not have done well at.

“That shows me that [a student] understands the mathematics behind it,” she explains.

Additionally, she focuses on outside stressors that students may be facing and works to combat them.

For example, one of Wortmann’s students has severe test anxiety. They’re otherwise a straight-A student, she says, but they just freeze up during any and all tests.

“Finally, I took them out in the hall and said, ‘We have to find a way around this, because in high school 90% of it is going to hinge on tests, in college 90% of it’s going to hinge on tests, too,’” she says.

Be completely irrational.

Write a letter to one of your former math teachers thanking them for unlocking the universe.

Search within pi for your birthday at the site angio.net/ pi/. With an infinite amount of digits (and over 62.8 trillion known digits), it’s most definitely in there somewhere!

Take a break from work at 3:14 pm for a quick celebration.

Eat only circular foods. Pancakes, onion rings, an entire pizza, an entire pie…

Drink a pi-nt at your favorite local brewery.

Sing “Happy Birthday” to Albert Einstein.

Head to the Tipsy Vine in Spokane Valley (18213 E. Appleway Ave.) for its Pie + Wine Day Tasting. For $30/person, they’re pairing Birdie’s mini pies with a variety of Washington wines. Math enthusiasts welcome, but call ahead. Tickets are going fast.

Go to Mobius Discovery Center (331 N. Post St.) for an afternoon of scientific exploration and play. Visit mobiusdiscoverycenter.org to find out more. n

Wortmann figured out that if she framed the test as just another homework assignment, it relieved the weight of that stress.

“Some of these kids struggle now,” she says. “They just need to find the person that’s going to help them go through it and then make their way through it.”

No matter how exciting math lessons may seem, it’s just not a subject that interests some students, and Wortmann says that’s absolutely fine.

“They could be English lovers. They could be science lovers. Maybe their favorite class is PE,” she says. “I’m hoping that at some point in time, the math still makes sense to them.”

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HAPPY PI DAY!

We’ve been celebrating Earth’s most popular irrational number for almost 40 years now, which is a bit sad considering pi dates back about four millennia. And actually we only started celebrating Pi Day broadly 15 years ago — before that it was just a niche event at San Francisco’s Exploratorium science museum.

Pi Day’s humble beginning started in 1988 when an Exploratorium employee and physicist Larry Shaw (pictured) realized that March 14 — 3/14 — represented the first three digits of pi, 3.14. He saw this as an fun opportunity to celebrate math and learning, according to the Exploratorium.

It was later recognized that Albert Einstein — the father of modern physics — was born on March 14. After finding this out, Shaw upped his party game. According to the Exploratorium, he led a parade around the museum — which ended at the “Pi Shrine” where the entire procession sang Happy Birthday! to Einstein.

Shaw, who died in 2017, would later be lovingly known as the “Prince of Pi.”

In 2009, the U.S. House proclaimed March 14 as Pi Day — a victory for the underrepresented mathematical constant.

Pi Day is also celebrated internationally. The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization designated Pi Day as the “International Day of Mathematics” during its 40th General Conference in November 2019.

In another decade, we’ll probably see the first Pi Day celebration on the moon.

— COLTON RASANEN

WEDNESDAY 20 MARCH 2024

SPOKANE

THURSDAY 21 MARCH 2024

SANDPOINT

FRIDAY

As adults, we learn that failure is a part of life. It informs our future decisions by letting us know what not to do. But as students, says Michelle Marsura, failure can feel like the end of the world.

“For so many kids, math becomes this dreaded, scary thing, because there’s a lot of failure involved,” Marsura says. “That’s one thing our school talks about often — the importance of failure.”

Success through failure is a large part of her pedagogy — her philosophy of teaching.

“I love big failures. If you’re gonna fail, fail loudly and fail confidently,” she says. “Our school then becomes that space where kids can feel safe to participate and fail, and try again, because that’s life.”

Marsura has worked at Spokane Valley High School — a project-based school where students learn by actively engaging in realworld and personally meaningful projects — for about 11 years. While she was initially wary about the prospects of working in a nontraditional school, now she can’t imagine the alternative.

Like other teachers, Marsura wouldn’t be able to convince her students that it’s alright to fail without first establishing a relationship.

“My Algebra II class happens to have a lot of theater kids in it. And so I bond with them over my favorite musicals and ask them how their line memorization is going,” she says, noting her class sizes are smaller than they would be in a traditional high school. “It’s just the little things of knowing who they are outside of the math classroom.”

Sometimes that connection comes from a place students may not have expected — like Marsura’s personal high school folder with “I hate math” written across it.

“I didn’t actually hate math when I was in high school,” she laughs. “The kids just think it’s hilarious, and I get to tell them, ‘See you guys? Your minds will eventually change.’”

As a high school teacher, Marsura is astutely aware that her students’ days before graduation are numbered, so she tries to reflect the math they may be doing in day-to-day life. She says that can be challenging though, because real-world math is often messy and frustrating.

Rarely will these students be figuring out problems with quick and easy answers.

Michelle Marsura: “Fail loudly and fail confidently.” YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

“When you graduate high school, you’re never going to get exactly X = 20,” she explains, elaborating on the ways math may look after high school ends. “It’s always going to be dollars and cents. Or measurements in inches and centimeters.”

By being frank about the subject and its uses, Marsura has created an environment where students can gain confidence and in some cases come up with new ways to solve equations.

“I am the expert in the room, but I’m not the only expert in the room,” she says. “[Students] might need to think about things differently than I do, and that’s totally alright.”

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PERSONAL PI

Pi and I have a fractious relationship, which is odd considering it can’t even be represented by a fraction.

My first introduction to pi was during a sixth grade math class. About a week before Pi Day, my teacher handed the class a little sheet with the first 250 digits of pi. Our goal was to memorize as many digits as possible and recite it aloud for the chance to win a Shari’s pie coupon.

I remember smuggling the paper into other classes where I would practice, instead of completing my other work. (Yes, I know, bad idea.)

Finally, March 14 rolled around and I was nervous. I had 100 digits memorized, and I could almost taste my discounted pie (obviously pecan). Tragedy struck when I learned that one of my classmates had more digits memorized than me.

I was ready to settle for second place — a position that my dad always called the first loser — but then a miracle occurred. During recitation, this student mixed up two numbers around the 80th digit, which basically secured my win as long as I didn’t mess up, too.

I recited those digits perfectly, securing a first place victory, that is until our teacher mercifully allowed do-overs. My heart sank as I shifted into second place, unable to remember any extra digits for my do-over.

While I wasn’t awarded for my memorization, my mind was left with another gift. To this day, I can still recite about 20 digits of pi at will.

Sixth grade me flew too close to the sun, but instead of Icarus’ prompt freefall into the sea, my hubris left me with this unshakeable number seared into my brain.

I wonder if that’s why I’m a writer… n

— COLTON RASANEN

KARI TAPIA

Math teacher, Coeur d’Alene High School

Kari Tapia is a competitive person. The evidence is in her classroom at Coeur d’Alene High School — the same room she sat in as a student more than 20 years ago.

Bulletin boards in the back of the room are peppered with newspaper clippings recording her math team’s consistent victories. Behind her desk sit the corresponding medals and trophies.

Most of the wall space is taken up by signs that say, “This student earned a 5 on their AP exam,” the highest possible score on the Advanced Placement test, with the student’s signatures on them.

Tapia tells me that her class often records a higher percentage of top AP scores than the state’s average. Last year, half of her AP calculus students passed with a 5.

All of this success didn’t appear out of thin air though. Tapia has spent 15 years pushing students to the limits of their capabilities.

“It’s really hard to understand calculus,” she says. “So I push them really hard.”

That dedicated drive comes from Tapia’s own struggles with calculus. She always excelled at her math classes in high school, but it wasn’t until she retook calculus in college that the subject began to click for her.

“It’s one thing to be able to do a problem, but to understand it is a whole other level,” she says, explaining her pedagogy when it comes to

teaching.

She mirrors that in the way she coaches the high school math team, which has become a major player at competitions in the last decade.

Once school’s been dismissed, a handful of students remain. About eight huddle in groups of four in Tapia’s classroom, completing a worksheet of complex calculus problems to prepare for an upcoming math competition.

These competitions, however, aren’t like the ones in movies. (We’re looking at you, Mean Girls.)

Instead of a rapid-fire Jeopardy-esque competition, competitors are given multiple choice tests with a 45-minute time limit. Each correct answer equals a point, so the objective is to get as many questions correct as quickly as possible.

Students at Tapia’s prep session work through the practice questions individually at first, then come together as a group to discuss not so much what the answers are but how they reached them.

The whole time Tapia is merely observing. And when she does occasionally chime in, she only offers suggestions for the students to consider as they blaze through the problems.

After about half an hour, as the students pack up to leave, they crack jokes about the problems they’ve just solved — hilarious math jokes, as long as you understand them. n

coltonr@inlander.com

LET THEM EAT PIE

For this week’s cover, we asked Callie Johnson at Made With Love Bakery to bake us a pie for Pi Day, and did she ever deliver.

In fact, she was already preparing for a busy Pi Day — even though they’re pies and not pi’s but, hey, they’re still circles.

She and her crew are baking up some special confections to celebrate math, science, knowledge and, yep, pies!

So head on over to her West Central bakery (2023 W. Dean Ave.), and let her know you saw her pie on the cover of the Inlander — NICHOLAS DESHAIS

Kari Tapia: “It’s one thing to be able to do a problem, but to understand it is a whole other level.” YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Chiefs

wear St. Patrick’s Day themed jerseys to be auctioned off during the game. A portion of proceeds will benefit Big Table Spokane.

LESLIE DOUGLAS PHOTO

BECU is a not-for-profit credit union that puts members first. So whether we’re helping you make big decisions or returning earnings in the form of great rates and minimal fees, we keep your financial well-being top of mind.

Sonny Angel figurines are captivating collectors and spurring local swaps at Boo Radley’s in downtown Spokane

BY LUCY KLEBECK

In Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird, the character Boo Radley leaves trinkets for the Finch siblings to find as a gesture of friendship. These items are trivial things — gum, pennies, dolls made of soap — but symbolize connection, mystery and childlike joy.

All of these characteristics can also be attributed to the increasingly popular Sonny Angel collectible figurines.

The Japanese-made figurines have been sold at Boo Radley’s gift shop in downtown Spokane since 2008. Typically clothesless with tiny angel wings on their backs, each Sonny Angel wears a hat or costume that corresponds to the limited series they’re part of. There are over 50 different series like vegetables or fruits and limited editions such as the recently released, Valentinethemed “Gifts of Love.”

Each series typically has six to 12 unique figures, and collectors try to create complete sets or find their favor ites. This can be difficult, however, as buyers don’t know which version of Sonny Angel is inside each blindbox package, which costs about $10 to $12.

Sonny Angel’s recent boom in popularity has been a huge boon for Boo Radley’s, the only authorized retailer in Spokane and one of few across the region. Sales of the collectible have exploded, says owner Jen Menzer.

“We had to create a call list chart” to alert local customers’ of new shipments, says Claire Menzer, Boo Radley’s manager and also Jen’s daughter. “It just got so many 22

people on it.”

When a shipment arrived in early February, for example, the store sold out 12 cases in just six hours, leading Boo Radley’s to implement a cap on how many boxes an individual can purchase (as of late February it was two per customer).

SONNY IN SPOKANE

Shop: Boo Radley’s, 232 N. Howard St. shopbooradleys.com

Follow: @boo_radleys_spokane @spokanesonnyangels (Instagram)

Sonny Angel collectors come from all over the

rabbit-like figurine.

Collectors on the hunt for an elusive Sonny Angel version can also turn to reselling platforms like Ebay, albeit for more than double retail price or even more for the rarest versions.

Sonny Angel was created by Japanese toy designer Toru Soeya in 2005. He took inspiration from Rose O’Neill’s Kewpie cartoons created in the early 1900s, which were the inspiration for the titular Kewpie doll that became an international hit. Representing innocence and love, the doll even became the logo and later the name for Kewpie Mayo, another popular Japanese creation.

Soeya’s Sonny Angels are one of the many whimsical products manufactured by his company, Dreams Inc. In a 2020 article from Japanese business magazine Keizaikai Soeya stated that he considers the function of his prod

Angel: to be companions for working women in their mid-20s to help them deal with the stresses of adulthood.

And companions for working women in their mid-20s they are. Sonny Angel has blown up in recent years as a primarily Gen Z fascination. According to Jen and Claire, the figurines are probably the most popular item sold at Boo Radley’s.

“They’re just so silly, but I’ve noticed the last two years that people really want stuff that makes them happy, like that whole Marie Kondo ‘spark joy’ kind of situation,” Jen says.

Claire brings up those working from home. “[People] decorate their desk areas with the little guys, cause they’re like ‘Well, we don’t see people, but we see a Sonny Angel at our desk every day.’”

While Sonny Angel has become a recent phenomenon, the Menzers have been collecting for a long time, and even have matching Kewpie doll tattoos. Jen acquired her first Sonny Angel when Boo Radley’s started selling them in 2008. Claire jumped on board when she first began working at Boo Radley’s in 2019 and has since amassed almost 90 figures.

initial goal of attracting at least six people was easily surpassed when around 25 fellow fans filled Boo Radley’s on Jan. 11.

The meet-up included snacks, raffles, trading and, of course, Sonny Angels for purchase. Jen and Claire passed out sticky notes for people to write which Sonny Angels they hoped to trade.

“It was nice to see how many people care about Sonny Angels, too,” Claire says. “It’s kind of a dorky thing to be so excited about, but it’s also just such a nice thing, like ‘Oh we’re all friends now’ because we have these common interests.”

Boo Radley’s next meet-up is planned for May 15 in celebration of Sonny Angel’s birthday and will include another raffle. The event will also cater to collectors of Smiski, another popular Dreams Inc. figurine that’s phosphorescent and collected in a similar fashion.

“Now we have a whole bunch of people from the meeting who come in and are like, ‘Hey, I was at the meet-up! Do you remember?’” Jen says.

The developing community spurred Claire to create an Instagram account dedicated to Sonny Angel in Spokane (@spokanesonnyangels).

One of Claire’s personal favorites is Sonny Angel wearing a strawberry hat.

“One of my best friends and I have matching strawberry tattoos. It’s kind of our thing. She has that [Sonny Angel], so it’s just so sweet,” she says. The motherdaughter duo’s love for Sonny Angel, paired with its increasing popularity, prompted them to host a Sonny Angel meet-up, similar to events they’d seen in New York City and San Francisco. Their

Not everyone is a fan of the figurines, however. Many think Sonny’s lack of pants and wide-eyed stare can be disconcerting.

“I don’t think they’re very cute, and I find it weird that they don’t have clothes on,” says Ireland Roberston, a senior at Gonzaga University.

In contrast, the Menzers point out the phrasing on every Sonny Angels box.

“What do they say on the box? ‘He may bring you happiness,’” Claire says.

“And it’s true, he just might,” Jen adds.

While no one appears to be hiding Sonny Angels around Spokane for curious children to find, the Menzers are placing them on their store shelves. For collectors, it’s an experience not unlike that of the Finch siblings, bringing potential friendships and an air of mystery. Sonny Angels are small trinkets that can bring joy to one’s life, and can be found by those looking in the hollow of Boo Radley’s on Howard Street. n

Jen (left) and Claire Menzer

GARDEN OF PURR-ADISE

Meet Ritters Garden & Gifts’ resident felines, Petunia and Felix

BY CHEY SCOTT

Two of Ritters Garden & Gifts’ most well-known employees are a mother and son.

Depending on the day, their duties vary: customer service, greenhouse chores, cashiering, greeting shoppers. However, despite their popularity with the North Spokane greenhouse and gift shop’s staff and customers, they’re probably its least productive employees.

In fact, on a recent early spring afternoon, both were sleeping on the job. Felix, the son, was curled up inside a cardboard box near the cash register, while mom Petunia snoozed on a table behind the customer service counter, her face tucked under her fluffy paws.

The two cats have been full-time residents of Ritters since mid-2019, when staff of the 75-year-old local business adopted the pair from Spokane County Regional Animal Protection Services (SCRAPS).

Petunia, now about 6 years old, is petite and fluffy with ultra plush, butterscotch-colored fur accented with rich chocolate stripes. Felix, who was still a kitten when he joined the Ritters team and turns 5 this year, is a robust orange tabby with plump white jowls and a bubblegum pink nose.

“Our manager, Denise [Thompson], decided we were going to get a store cat,” recalls Dalton Luke, who oversees Ritters’ customer service and is one of the cats’ primary caretakers. “We were initially going to get one, but Petunia was with her son and they were a pair, so we got them both.”

The two have been living a luxurious life ever since. Behind a counter in the back of the store, plush bedding covers the entire table where Petunia snoozes. Cat toys, scratchers, covered litter boxes and a feeding station indicate it’s an area where the cats spend a lot of time, at least during the colder months.

From spring to fall, however, Petunia and Felix prefer Ritters’ lush greenhouses and nursery aisles. In this veritable cat paradise, they nap in the sun or tuck themselves between potted plants for shade.

“Petunia, especially when the weather’s nicer, she’s gone for a lot of the day,” Luke says. “She’ll come in and say hi to people and stuff, but otherwise she likes to explore.”

Since Ritters fronts a busy, five-lane stretch of North Division Street, Luke says the felines aren’t allowed

past the front doors, though they can freely explore the nursery out back.

Having spent most of their nine lives at Ritters, the cats are well-socialized and friendly toward the many customers who seek them out. (Fans can also follow them on Instagram, @felixandpetunia)

“Petunia is a little more social than Felix — he can be a little hot and cold — but Petunia loves people. She’s always ready to interact,” Luke says. “A lot of times, we have a main register out there in the garden center, and she’ll lay on a box on the counter because she knows everybody walks by and gives her pets. A couple weeks ago, there was a customer here who was just walking through the store with Petunia, holding her.”

He says Petunia is also an adept hunter and has been known to patrol Ritters for unwelcome guests. Felix, meanwhile, prefers the catnip.

“We’ll get catnip as part of our herbs every year, and he loves to go out there. We have pictures of him asleep in the catnip,” Luke says.

After Ritters closes for the day, it’s anyone’s guess what the two are up to.

“They have the run of things, and Petunia likes to, what we call, go shopping,” Luke says. “She’ll take stuff off displays, or take rags and whatever and start moving them around. I’ll come in the morning, and there’ll just be stuff all over the floor that we have to put back.”

These after-hours antics are but one example of the immense joy that Petunia and Felix bring to Ritters.

“You know, we just love them. They’re a huge part of the store,” Luke says. “It’s so cool to see the customers come in and be like ‘Oh, I’m looking for Petunia and Felix.’ It’s cool to see other people love them as much as we do.” n

Editor’s Note: From 2012 to 2016, I wrote the Inlander’s “Cat Friday” blog. One of my favorite features was profiling local businesses’ resident cats, but eventually “Inland Northwest Business Cats” was retired for lack of subjects. I’ve recently become aware of several more “working” cats in the community, so now it’s back! If you work at or know of local businesses with resident kitties that we should write about, reach me at cheys@inlander.com.

THE BUZZ BIN

STACK O’ LAUGHS

In our fragmented media landscape, figuring out where to watch something is sometimes way more than half the battle. Case in point: Local legend Julia Sweeney (Saturday Night Live!) taped her latest comedy special/one-woman show Older and Wider at the Fox Theater in March 2023. The special is finally available to steam, but where can one find it? Netflix? HBO? Comedy Central? Nope! To watch Older and Wider you need to head to Sweeney’s Substack (juliasweeney.substack.com, $10 for a monthly subscription). She may be older, but clearly Sweeney is still keeping up with tech more than many of her contemporaries. (SETH SOMMERFELD)

TRY IT ON FOR SIZE

Every time I walk into a local art gallery, I inevitably fall in love with a piece of work and want to take it home. I imagine where I would hang it and how I would stare at it each morning as I drink my coffee. Well, the Art Spirit Gallery is making these daydreams a reality with its new Home Viewing Program. The Coeur d’Alene art gallery allows clients to check out work (like a library!) to display at home for 48 hours before deciding on whether to purchase it or not. Think of it like test-driving a car or trying on a new shirt — but for works of stunning art! For more information on the program, visit theartspiritgallery.com. (MADISON PEARSON)

THIS WEEK’S PLAYLIST

Noteworthy new music arriving in stores and online on March 15.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I WAS

After being publicly dragged by his ex-Britney Spears and putting out a reunion song with *NSYNC last year, Timberlake refocuses on being a solo pop star with an album he hopes hits more like FutureSex/LoveSounds and less like Man in the Woods

FOUR TET, TITLE

After unexpectedly closing out last year’s Coachella alongside Skrillex and Fred Again (after Frank Ocean dropped out), the English electronic music wiz jumps back into the spotlight with his first album since 2020.

SCOTT STAPP, HIGHER POWER

It turns out the Creed singer could, in fact, be taken higher. (SETH SOMMERFELD)

Dalton Luke (left) with Felix and Denise Thompson with Petunia. PHOTO COURTESY RITTERS

A True Kickoff

The Velocity are ready to usher in a new era of professional soccer in Spokane

BY SETH SOMMERFELD

It’s March, sports fans! It’s almost time for the first pitch of the season!

No, not that type of pitch, hurtling toward the catcher’s mitt — the other type of pitch.

It’s time for the Spokane Velocity — the city’s new pro men’s soccer team — to take the field (i.e., the pitch) for their inaugural season at the new ONE Spokane Stadium across the street from Spokane Arena.

Spokane’s newest squad kicks off the season this Saturday, March 16 at 2 pm with a showdown against the Richmond Kickers. The Velocity play in the 12-team USL League One, which is officially in the third tier of U.S. pro soccer behind Major League Soccer and USL Championship. The Velocity’s 32-game USL League One season will stretch until at least October, with potential playoffs to follow.

The man tapped to guide this new era of soccer in Spokane is Liverpool native Leigh Veidman. Before heading to Washington, Veidman was an assistant coach for the Charleston Battery, which made the USL Championship Final last season.

When constructing the inaugural roster for the Velocity, Veidman had very distinct intentions to match his preferred aggressive brand of football. The roster mixes veterans like French defender and former MLS All-Star Romain Métanire and longtime MLS midfielder Luis Gil with promising young talent such as defender Ahmed Longmire (the No. 10 pick in the 2022 MLS Superdraft) and midfielder Pierre Reedy, whom Veidman specifically brought along from the Charleston Battery.

“The intent with building the squad was largely

finding players who had a bit of a chip on their shoulder: They’re hungry for more, they’re hungry to show more, they’re hungry to show what they can do with their first contract,” Veidman says. “But on the opposite end of the spectrum, you’ve got Romain, you’ve got Luis, you’ve got the more experienced guys who provide a good balance. And they kind of lead those guys and show those guys what it’s like to be a true pro.”

For the new fans looking to single out a favorite player, the most obvious choice would be the one with a local-ish connection, Derek Waldeck. Before winning two NCAA titles at Stanford and setting that program’s record for starts, the defender and Ellensburg native spent plenty of time in the Lilac City, which makes his pseudo-homecoming with the Velocity all the more surreal.

“It’s awesome. It kind of gives me chills that this is real and happening right now,” Waldeck says. “I would come over to Spokane all the time [to see] our grandparents, aunts and uncles. My childhood best friend lives here. So it’s really special to get to represent the city on such a cool platform and be a part of something new.”

Once on the pitch, expect the Velocity to try to be on the attack.

“In general, I like to get the game going forward. I like it to be entertaining. I like to play attacking football,” Veidman says. “But defensively, when we don’t have the ball, I want us to be front-footed and aggressive, and go and get that ball back.”

The coach does stress that fans will likely need to practice patience, and that the team probably won’t be world-beaters after only being together a matter of weeks before starting the season.

“To mesh and build a team of brand new players who largely have never, ever played together before, it takes months… and sometimes more than that,” Veidman says. “For me, it’s about the process. Regardless of who we play against, it’s about are we getting better and are we using each training session every day to improve?”

But you play to win the games, and the coach knows that to build fan momentum for Spokane’s newest squad, the velocity of Velocity victories will need to be swift.

“We want to play entertaining soccer. We want to give the fans something enjoyable to watch,” Veidman says. “But part of that enjoyment is winning.” n Spokane

Derek Waldeck SPOKANE VELOCITY PHOTO

LOCAL PRODUCTS

Waters of Life

Olde Tyme Spirits reintroduces vintage Celtic brandies made from local orchard fruits

BY ELIZA BILLINGHAM

“Come guess me this riddle: What beats pipe and fiddle? What’s hotter than mustard and milder than cream? What best wets your whistle? What’s clearer than crystal? What’s sweeter than honey and stronger than steam?”

So lilts the old Irish folk song, “The Humours of Whiskey.” It sings the power of ancient whiskey, an English borrowing of the Gaelic word “usquebaugh,” which means “water of life.”

Tucked between ponderosas in the Selkirk foothills of Clayton, Washington, a few all-but-forgotten Old World recipes for these “waters of life” are being resurrected in the New World. Will Persons is the craft distiller and owner of Olde Tyme Spirits, a line of Celtic brandies and some traditional Slavic spirits. Armed with a cookbook of centuries-old recipes handwritten by his grandfather, Persons is reintroducing spirits distilled from apples, apricots, cherries and plums that are older than America itself.

In today’s legal world, “whiskey” has to be distilled from fermented grain, so Persons’ fruit-based spirits don’t count. But he’s convinced that anyone singing about “water of life” a hundred years ago would have been sipping on something similar to the smooth, rich spirits that he’s creating today.

Persons’ distillery is the last property on a dead-end road, made from pine slabs he preserved by charring with fire. You can see the ski slopes of Mount Spokane from the top of the driveway.

Inside, five-gallon buckets hold masticated, fermenting fruit. The black cast-iron presser in the corner helps squeeze out the last drop of fruit juice. A still glints silver in the sunlight, with a long copper pipe dripping clear liquid into a holding tank. Glass jars showcase spirits in every hue from translucent to golden to amber to deep red.

Persons inhales deeply as he steps into the distillery.

“Five more minutes,” he says to himself, then motions toward the still.

“This is an alembic,” he says. “This system dates older than what most other distilleries use. They use what is called a column or a coffee still. What would take me three runs to do here, they do it in one run. That makes it way more efficient. But one of the things this does that they don’t do…”

He pulls a mason jar full of a clear spirit from the shelf. Held up to the sun, the light reveals tiny flecks of oil swirling around in the alcohol. A column still, he says, would strip the spirit of those precious, flavorful globules.

“A lot of the aroma, the mouthfeel, what people like about this drink is that little bit that gets meshed in,” Persons says.

This particular liquid is rakia, a spirit from the Baltics in the same vintage tradition as the other Celtic brandies Persons makes. It’s distilled from apricots and smells like Froot Loops. Although it’s 45% ABV, it sips soft and smooth, offering the pleasant warmth of alcohol without the burn.

Olde Tyme’s Apple Brandy has the same velvet mouthfeel, with spicier, charred notes of scorched popcorn, jalapeño and cinnamon. It’s distilled from apples grown on Walters Fruit Ranch that didn’t sell and were on the verge of rotting. Persons has also created brandies with cherries, plums, pears and persimmons from Green Bluff orchards that were otherwise going to be discarded. Every new brandy surprises the palate with complex, hidden flavors, so that you want to go back for a second, third, fourth sip.

Persons sells his spirits directly to consumers, which means local buyers can call his cellphone and ask him to deliver to their doorstep. But he insists that every customer taste his product before they decide what to buy. So he ...continued on page 28

Grab a glass of apricot or apple brandy and have yourself a good “Olde Tyme.” YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Who runs the world? Girls. Women.

They lead the way at STCU, too.

With 71% of our team being women and 125 in leadership roles, their impact is undeniable.

See how we’re celebrating them this Women’s History Month: www.stcu.org/whm.

keeps a few bottles of each brandy at Eggers Better Meats on the South Hill. Anyone who’s curious can taste test the brandies before buying a few bottles from Eggers or calling Persons directly.

In his distillery, Persons suddenly sniffs the air again.

“Oh, it’s been five minutes,” he says to himself again. He walks over to the still and flips a switch to stop the distilling process, which is now, apparently, finished.

“A different aroma hit my nose that you probably didn’t catch,” he says. “It’s very instinctive for me. And that’s only genetic.”

His whole childhood, Persons heard the family lore. He and his brothers were Celtic through and through. Important conversations happened between sips of “Apple Pie,” a deep amber liquid his grandfather would produce at family gatherings seemingly out of thin air.

It wasn’t until his early adult years that Persons put together that his grandfather, who always drove late-model sports cars across Washington way too fast, made extra cash by distilling and running moonshine across the state. Among Donald Persons’ handwritten recipes is one from as early as 1764. Persons started crediting his uncanny knack for ratios, flavor profiles and distilling technique to this wealth of family inheritance.

A few years after Persons started distilling for fun, the gods of the “water of life” chose him again, even more explicitly. Persons’ father, the patriarch

of 11 sons, decided that only one could carry on the family tradition of distilling. Persons and his next older brother were both dabbling in distilling, so their father held a tasting competition and a family council to decide who was allowed to continue. It was unanimous — Persons’ product was superior, and he inherited the responsibility.

It wasn’t until Persons was planning a trip back to Ireland for his own family that he took a 23&Me DNA test, just to see if he was anything else but Irish. The test confirmed he was nearly 100% Celtic. But it also revealed that Persons wasn’t his father’s son.

“My mom is my mom,” he says, “but my dad is not my dad. I was adopted, and the only reason is because I looked Celtic enough that I could pass as one of their children. And so I got this whole history that isn’t even mine. I start going, ‘Well, then how come I can do what I can do?’”

Some ties are stronger than blood, or at least it would seem Persons’ father thought so, who chose his only adopted son to continue the coveted family tradition. Whatever wasn’t passed down by blood was transmitted through the “water of life” passed from hand to hand in Persons’ childhood memories. An Irishman, at least, would certainly believe whiskey to be that powerful.

“So stick to the cratur’, the best thing in nature for drowning your sorrows and raising your joys. Oh Lord, it’s no wonder if lightning and thunder was made from the plunder of whiskey, me boys.” n

Distiller Will Persons and his custom alembic still. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Ain’t Love Grand?

Love Lies Bleeding is a delightful and darkly comic thriller with perfectly tuned performances by Kristen Stewart and Katy O’Brian

BY CHASE HUTCHINSON

There is unlikely to be a love story this year that’s as violent, weird and chaotic as Love Lies Bleeding Filmmaker Rose Glass has made a work that goes from gently embracing its eccentricities to gleefully crushing them in its big, beefy arms. First making a splash as one of the best films to premiere at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, it’s a journey that is practically bursting at the seams with both desire and death. It’s a darkly comic thriller that doubles as a playful deconstruction of how far we’ll go for those we love, weaving together pleasure and pain into a portrait of two lovers who get swept up in a beautifully brutal mess.

LOVE LIES BLEEDING

Directed by Rose Glass

Starring Kristen Stewart, Katy O’Brian, Ed Harris

Set in 1980s New Mexico, the character initially trying to avoid mess in life is Lou. Played by a dynamic yet still deadpan Kristen Stewart, she manages a gym and tries to steer clear of her family. Why? Well, they seem to be involved in some rather illicit operations.

Things get complicated when a new face walks into the gym. Jackie, played by Katy O’Brian (Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania), is a bodybuilder with a dream to compete at a big upcoming event in Las Vegas. Sparks fly between the two once Lou closes up for the night and, following some sensual steroid-injecting, they’re soon living together. However, Jackie is unwittingly working for Lou’s cruel father, played by Ed Harris in rare bug-eating form, leading to a rather jaw-dropping fatal encounter.

The film then becomes about our two troubled lovers trying to find a way free from this world of violence, only to keep getting pulled deeper into it. While not as intense as her previous feature Saint Maud, Glass (who co-wrote this new script with Weronika Tofilska) remains interested in exploring obsession and continues to show she has a real eye for capturing the darkness at its core. What makes Love Lies Bleeding unique is how it finds more sly

ALSO OPENING

THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF MAGICAL NEGROES

The neurotic Aren (Justice Smith) gets recruited to join a magical society dedicated to making white people feel more at ease. Things get messy when Aren falls for the romantic interest of the white person he’s assigned to make feel good. Rated PG-13

IO CAPITANO

Nominated for Best International

Feature at last weekend’s Oscars, this Italian film follows two Senegalese teens attempting to migrate to Italy and facing harrowing hurdles along the way while traveling across Africa. Not rated At the Magic Lantern

KNOX GOES AWAY

Michael Keaton directs and stars in this thriller about an assassin with dementia who must help his son out of a sticky situation while he’s mentally losing touch of what’s actually real. Rated R

ONE LIFE

This emotional biographical drama of Sir Nicholas Winton vacillates between his exploits as a young man (Johnny Flynn) trying to save Jewish children in Nazi-occupied Czechoslovakia in the lead-up to WWII and him as an old man (Anthony Hopkins) reflecting on his life. Rated PG

absurdity in how it does so. Whether it is in the many visual flourishes that flirt with something closer to magical realism before diving right in or some wonderfully understated line deliveries from Stewart as things spiral out of control, the film is all about pumping everything up until you can see every vein.

The escalations even pit Lou and Jackie against each other at one point. These scenes play out in bloody yet ridiculous fashion, making their eventual reconciliation that much more humorous. It is also at this point that Glass goes for a big swing to end all big swings. Taking a hammer to the already rather tenuous reality of the film, it is a conclusion that towers over everything before it. The way it is all shot and executed is nothing short of thrilling as it tosses any reservations that were left completely out the window. How literal it is meant to be taken matters less than just how audacious and anarchic of a moment it is.

Rather than lose you, it is a final big breath of fresh air in a film that is never lacking for it. The subsequent exhale then provides one more dark joke to close. The final sequence of shots is simple yet still so silly that you can’t help but smile one more time as the couple makes their way out into the world. Be it Jackie with her increasingly big heart or Lou with her undying willingness to navigate mess, they are a duo for the ages. They’re flawed and chaotic characters but ones you, perhaps in spite of yourself, somehow end up falling in love with just as they do with each other.

In Love Lies Bleeding, there isn’t the so-called “bury your gays” trope where queer characters are cast aside as soon as they start to be too complicated or weird. Instead, it’s these weird gays who may just bury you. n

O’Brian and Stewart are a chaotic treat in Love Lies Bleeding.

Dog Tired

Mark Wahlberg teams up with a cute canine for the uninspired sports drama Arthur the King

BY JOSH BELL

Although he’s the title character, the canine star of Arthur the King doesn’t do much until the film’s third act, instead mostly lurking in the background of a predictable underdog sports drama. Arthur the King is very loosely based on the real-life story of adventure racer Mikael Lindnord, who in 2014 picked up a scrappy stray dog during a grueling race in Ecuador. That dog, named Arthur, became an online sensation, inspired an animal welfare charity, and served as the subject of Lindnord’s 2016 memoir.

Rated PG-13

the race. Where’s the dog in all this? He’s ambling along unobtrusively, finally making contact with Michael at one of the race’s rest stops, where Michael feeds him a meatball before the team gets back on the trail.

ARTHUR THE KING

Directed by Simon Cellan Jones

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Simu Liu

In Arthur the King, the Swedish Lindnord becomes the American Michael Light (Mark Wahlberg), and screenwriter Michael Brandt burdens him with plenty of basic conflicts that can be easily resolved via competitive triumph and canine companionship. Michael’s career in adventure racing — a sport that combines running, climbing, biking, and kayaking through the wilderness — has flamed out after a spectacular failure three years earlier, so he’s been reduced to assisting in his father’s real estate business. At the encouragement of his wife and fellow adventure racer, Helena (Juliet Rylance), he decides to make one last attempt at winning a championship.

Meanwhile, director Simon Cellan Jones occasionally cuts to scenes of a cute stray dog wandering the streets of Santo Domingo, dodging menacing larger dogs and impatient humans. Jones devotes far more time to the bland drama of Michael assembling a team for the upcoming race in the Dominican Republic, especially his reconciliation with hotshot racer Leo (Simu Liu), a social media star who humiliated Michael online after their previous loss. Michael also recruits Olivia (Nathalie Emmanuel), daughter of a renowned climber, and veteran navigator Chik (Ali Suliman), both underestimated outcasts like himself.

Michael struggles to find sponsorships for his ragtag team, and of course there’s an arrogant, well-funded rival crew that’s heavily favored to win

As Michael’s team makes its way through treacherous jungle terrain, the dog improbably follows them, and they eventually pick him up as a mascot, naming him after the legendary King Arthur for his fortitude and dedication. Even after Arthur takes on a more prominent role, the movie still focuses on dull humans’ interpersonal dynamics, giving each team member a rote, underwhelming subplot. There’s some mild suspense at the end of the race, as Michael is told that Arthur can’t participate in the final leg, but the conclusion of the competition is curiously anticlimactic, given the emphasis the filmmakers have placed on it for the previous hour.

Belatedly, Arthur the King then gets to the actual doggy drama, which captivated people online when it really happened. That just means trading one kind of cliché for another, and the movie gets especially manipulative as it places Arthur in peril. Arthur the King isn’t as treacly as pseudo-inspirational movies like A Dog’s Purpose and A Dog’s Journey, but it’s still sappy and contrived, relentlessly pulling on the heartstrings of animal-loving viewers.

Wahlberg exudes the same lack of urgency about both winning the race and saving Arthur, and there’s no sense of triumph in either outcome. Jones, who previously directed Wahlberg in the atrocious action-comedy The Family Plan, delivers a mostly excitement-free adventure, missing the opportunity to make Arthur a central part of the action. The story is already so heavily fictionalized, why not go all-in on the Air Bud-style extremesports dog? That would have been ridiculous, but at least it would have been more memorable than this generic race to nowhere. n

BOO RADLEY’S

ATTICUS COFFEE & GIFTS

Woof. Arthur the King is ruff.

DOWNTOWN SPOKANE • HOWARD ST.

COMEDY

PERFECT AMOUNT OF COWBELL

Highlighting some of the best comedic sketches centered around actual artists

BY SETH SOMMERFELD

Blue Öyster Cult might be the most underrated successful rock band of the 1970s. Go back and listen to the group’s self-titled 1971 debut album, Secret Treaties, or Agents of Fortune, and you’ll hear top-tier hard rock musicianship that melodically popped without being afraid to venture into psychedelic and occasionally dark territory.

But that run of killer early ’70s music will never be Blue Öyster Cult’s entire legacy.

Because Will Ferrell vigorously hit a cowbell once.

On an April 2000 episode of Saturday Night Live one of the show’s all-time best sketches was birthed, and it revolved around Blue Öyster Cult. Presented as a spoof on VH1’s Behind the Music band biography series, “More Cowbell” was a sketch about the band recording their biggest hit, “Don’t Fear the Reaper.” The song features prominent cowbell percussion… and that’s the whole joke of the sketch. Ferrell portrayed the band’s too-tight-shirtwearing cowbell player, who played with enthusiastic zeal, much to the dismay of his increasingly annoyed bandmates. Guest host Christopher Walken added kerosene to the fire by playing the producer (yes, the Bruce Dickinson) who “has a fever… and the only prescription… is more cowbell!” The results are pure comedic alchemy — just absolute heightened absurdity — a somehow perfect sketch even greater than the amazing sum of its parts. With quotable lines a plenty, “More Cowbell” became a pop culture touchstone — one that now outsizes the legacy of the actual band at its center.

Since it’s futile to overturn Blue Öyster Cult’s perception, we might as well lean into the joke of it all and talk about other musical artists touched by comedic grace. For this exercise, we’re looking at some of the best sketches ever crafted about or featuring actual famed musical acts. So the star-free Monty Python’s “Lumberjack Sketch” doesn’t qualify, nor does Saturday Night Live’s “Dick in a Box,” because while it was a parody of Color Me Badd featuring Justin Timberlake, Timberlake wasn’t playing

himself and the group wasn’t actually supposed to be Color Me Badd. The following comedic gems, however, more than qualify.

AIN’T TOO PROUD TO BEG: THE

MUSICAL (COMEDY BANG! BANG!, 2015)

This mock advertisement for then CBB bandleader Kid Cudi’s new jukebox musical about The Temptations has one minor issue — the show only secured rights to “Just My Imagination (Running Away From Me).” Seeing every intentionally hammy scene give way to the exact same song somehow manages to be a hoot each time.

BUDDY RICH VERSUS ANIMAL DRUM BATTLE (THE MUPPET SHOW, 1981)

While The Muppet Show had loads of musician co-hosts who often did Muppet-infused versions of their hits, many of them end up being fairly straightforward and sincere takes. On the other hand, Animal trying to duel legendary drummer Buddy Rich, only to end up mouth-agape at the jazzman’s skills is both impressive and universally amusing.

CHARLIE MURPHY’S TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORIES: RICK JAMES (CHAPPELLE’S SHOW, 2004)

If you were a high school boy in 2004, odds are some of the blue lines from this classic became embedded in your lexicon. Charlie Murphy’s colorful retelling of his encounters with R&B singer Rick James (with cuts to James on camera to verify their validity) practically bubbles over with comedic color as the two grow pals get adversarial leading to drugged-up fights, debaucherous reconciliation, and the destruction of at least one couch. “Cocaine is a hell of a drug,” indeed.

CHARLIE MURPHY’S TRUE

HOLLYWOOD STORIES: PRINCE (CHAPPELLE’S SHOW, 2004)

Do you realize that these two iconic Chappelle’s Show sketches debuted on back-to-back weeks? What an embarrassment of riches! While the Rick James segment is more famous, the Prince one actually might edge it out based on the sheer absurdity of all elements: Chappelle’s steely demeanor as Prince, wild attire, a basketball beatdown, and pancakes.

THE CHRIS FARLEY SHOW: PAUL MCCARTNEY (SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, 1993)

While Chris Farley was a boisterous personality, the nervous energy he brought to his “The Chris Farley Show” segments was a sweet delight. His twitchy frustrated heavy-breathing anxiety when interviewing the Beatles icon is probably akin to how many Beatlemanics would react around Sir Paul. “You remember when you were with the Beatles? … That was awesome.” The segment is both hilarious and a heartfelt encapsulation of fandom.

DRIVERS LICENSE (SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, 2021)

A dude’s night at the pool hall goes off the rails when guest host Regé-Jean Page puts “his song” on the jukebox. That song? Olivia Rodrigo’s “Drivers Licence.” While the other guys act tough and like they don’t know the song at the start, they all soon cave and begin deeply analyzing song specifics and letting their false facades of tough masculinity fade away to let their over-the-top emotions and inner high school girls pour out.

GORDON LIGHTFOOT SINGS

EVERY SONG EVER WRITTEN (SCTV, 1981) Perhaps one of the most Canadian things of all-time, this

Blue Öyster Cult don’t fear the reaper... or laughs. COURTESTY SPOKANE TRIBE CASINO

SCTV sketch is a mock advertisement for a 379-album set of Canadian singer-songwriter legend Gordon Lightfoot doing his own renditions of every song. Rick Moranis’ hilarious impression of Lightfoot’s demur singing style is uproarious whether singing “Happy Birthday,” Christmas tunes, or Broadway staples.

JACK SPARROW (FEAT. MICHAEL BOLTON)

(SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, 2011)

When the Lonely Island brings a soft pop singer into the studio to record a “big sexy hook” for their latest club-ready hip-hop track there’s just one problem — he was watching a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon as he was writing it. The resulting clash between the swaggy raps and chorus about pirate captain Jack Sparrow — and the Lonely Island’s futile attempts to get him back on track — leads to A+ reaction shots and confused comedy bliss. There’s a strong case that this is SNL’s best digital short ever.

SMASH MOUTH (SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, 2010)

Most children have fears of the monsters living under their beds or in their closets. But young Cecilia’s nighttime boogeymen are entirely different — they’re the band Smash Mouth. While her parents claim it’s all in her imagination, everytime they leave the room the band pops up and starts playing “All Star.” While I will defend that song to my death, the thought of earworm pop rockers being the ultimate nightmare hits the mark.

TRAPPED IN THE CUPBOARD (MAD TV, 2004)

R. Kelly’s musical soap opera “Trapped in the Closet” was one of the easiest-to-parody songs of the 21st century, and Mad TV took a crack at it with Jordan Peele playing the felonious singer. This sketch has him waking up hungry only to devolve into a guntoting rage over the fact that he’s out of Cheerios.

WEIRD: THE AL YANKOVIC STORY

(FUNNY OR DIE, 2010)

Before it was an Emmy and Critic’s Choice winning actual movie, Weird: The Al Yankovic Story was merely a hilarious star-studded internet trailer for a fake Weird Al biopic. Mocking the gritty seriousness of awards bait musical biopics, Aaron Paul plays the famed clean-cut parodist as a drunken wild man who has a torrid affair with Madonna (Olivia Wilde). It’s note perfect and led to the best sketch to film adaptation… ever?

WHEN THE PARTY DON’T STOP (BUT YOU WISH IT WOULD) (KEY & PEELE, 2012)

Well before Jordan Peele rebooted The Twilight Zone, this Key & Peele sketch took a twisted, mildly supernatural aim at the vacuous non-stop party pop of LMFAO. While the musical duo starts off having a blast, they soon realize the party literally cannot stop — they grow increasingly panicked as they realize they’re trapped in some sort of hellish neon club purgatory with no escape possible.

WHITE WHITE BABY (IN LIVING COLOR

, 1991)

In Living Color did a lot of musical sketches where it was presented as the artists doing a parody version of their own songs, but in terms of comedic physicality, it’s hard to top Jim Carrey as Vanilla Ice in full culture vulture mode (“I’m white, and I’m capitalizin’ / On a trend that’s currently risin’”).

WHY YOU’LL NEVER GET THAT OUTKAST REUNION

(KEY & PEELE, 2015)

While it has proven to be untrue, when shot in 2015 this sketch underscored how hopeless the prospect of an Outkast reunion seemed because of the wildly different personas of Big Boi and André 3000. The demure Big Boi (Peele) ducks into a coffee shop only to have the flamboyant André 3000 (Key) saunter in and begin being a total freakin’ weirdo. It’s a classic clash of the eccentric clown and the stoic straight man. n

Blue Öyster Cult • Sat, March 16 at 8 pm • $58-$68 • All ages • Spokane Tribe Casino • 14300 US-2, Airway Heights • spokanetribecasino.com

J = THE INLANDER RECOMMENDS THIS SHOW

J = ALL AGES SHOW

Thursday, 3/14

INLAND NORTHWEST SONGFEST COOL COMPANY

J THE BIG DIPPER, A Killer’s Confession, Mike’s Dead, Dysfunktynal Kaos, Suicide Ghost BOLO’S BAR & GRILL, Jip Skippy & The Unprepared CHAN’S RED DRAGON ON THIRD, Thursday Night Jam CHECKERBOARD TAPROOM, Weathered Shepherds

J KNITTING FACTORY, Mitis, Mashbit, BNGRZ, Jojo

J MCCRACKEN’S PUB AND BBQ, Nate Ostrander

J QQ SUSHI & KITCHEN, Just Plain Darin RED ROOM LOUNGE, Hip-Hop Night SPOKANE ARENA, Blake Shelton, Dustin Lynch, Emily Ann Roberts ZOLA, The Rub

Friday, 3/15

AK ASIAN RESTAURANT, Deb the Wolf BARRISTER WINERY, The Rising BOLO’S BAR & GRILL, Bruiser

J THE CHAMELEON, Cool Company, Calimossa, Jordan Polovina, ExZac Change & Matisse

CHAN’S RED DRAGON ON THIRD, Rusty Jackson

CHINOOK STEAK, SEAFOOD & PASTA, Nate Ostrander

J THE GRAIN SHED, Haywire

IOLITE LOUNGE, Gil Rivas

IRON HORSE (CDA), Royale

J KNITTING FACTORY, Warren Zeiders, Austin Williams

MOOSE LOUNGE, The Shift NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE (CDA CASINO), Whack A Mole

PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Bright Moments

If you’re a nerd for the craft of songwriting, boy howdy, do I have a new festival for you. The first edition of Inland Northwest Songfest is taking place March 16 across three venues: The Bing, Dry Fly and the Steam Plant. The daylong affair brings together singer-songwriters for a series of performances in the round — where three to four artists take turns playing songs, interjected with conversations about how the songs came to be. Featuring 32 local (including Sam Leyde, Shawn Stratte, Chance Long, Olivia Vika) and national (Thom Shepherd, Preston James) talents, you won’t find a more jampacked day of tunes this side of the large-scale summer music fests.

THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Just Plain Darin

J J SPOKANE TRIBE CASINO, Blue Oyster Cult

ZOLA, Brittany’s House

Saturday, 3/16

J THE BIG DIPPER, The Green Gauntlet: Flynn, Nathan Chartrey, Eric Acebo, Elemeno-P, Bambii, Tr3ezy, Ju, Willie Woo Styx, Due Diligence

J J BING CROSBY THEATER, Inland Northwest Songfest

J BLACK LABEL BREWING CO., B Radicals

BOLO’S BAR & GRILL, Bruiser

J BOOMERS CLASSIC ROCK BAR, Just Plain Darin

J CAFE COCO, B

THE CHAMELEON, Taste

The Rainbow: A Queer St. Patty’s Dance Party

CHAN’S RED DRAGON ON THIRD, Steve Livingston, Tripleshot CHINOOK STEAK, SEAFOOD & PASTA, Nate Ostrander

CURLEY’S, Heather King Band

THE DISTRICT BAR, Kendra Morris

THE GRAIN SHED - TAP HOUSE, Sub Teal

IRON HORSE (CDA), Royale LOON LAKE SALOON & GRILL, Kidd Whiskey

MOOSE LOUNGE, The Shift

NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE (CDA CASINO), Whack A Mole

PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Ian Newbill

J PONDEROSA BAR AND GRILL, Austin Carruthers

RED ROOM LOUNGE, Live DJs

J SIRINYA’S THAI RESTAURANT, Gil Rivas

WESTWOOD BREWING CO., Pamela Benton: StringzOnFire!

ZOLA, Blake Braley

Sunday, 3/17

J THE BIG DIPPER, Apex Predator, Psychic Death, Bonemass CURLEY’S, Theresa Edwards Band HOGFISH, Open Mic RED ROOM LOUNGE, LUNIZ

J SOUTH HILL GRILL, Just Plain Darin ZOLA, Hunny Soup

ZOLA, Spokane is Dead

Monday, 3/18

EICHARDT’S PUB, Monday Night Blues Jam with John Firshi

J LYYV ENTERTAINMENT, Victress Voice Open Mic RED ROOM LOUNGE, Open Mic Night

— SETH SOMMERFELD

Inland Northwest Songfest • Sat, March 16 from 1-11 pm • $40-$60 • All ages • Bing Crosby Theater, Dry Fly Distilling, Steam Plant Restaurant & Brew Pub • bingcrosbytheater.com

In terms of finding acts to match The Chameleon’s new colorful, video-infused vibe, the futuristic R&B of Brooklyn duo Cool Company fits the bill. Blending R&B with hip-hop, pop, jazz, and funk, vocalist Yannick Hughes and producer Matt Fishman make every show into a high-energy party of chill dance grooves, falsetto melodies and unassuming swagger. The diversity can be found on the four singles Cool Company released in 2023, including “When I Get My Turn?” and “Know It’s Real.” Needless to say, if you’re looking for something to do on a Friday night (and an excuse to check out the new venue), this concert is indeed a cool choice.

— SETH SOMMERFELD

Cool Company, Calimossa, Jordan Polovina, ExZac Change & Matisse • Fri, March 15 at 8 pm

• $15 • 21+ • The Chameleon • 1801 W. Sunset Blvd. • chameleonspokane.com

Tuesday, 3/19

J THE BIG DIPPER, Buckets, Gotu Gotu, Uh Oh & The Oh Wells

ZOLA, Jerry Lee and the Groove

Wednesday, 3/20

J THE BIG DIPPER, Glitterfox, Lucas Brown, Wes Marvin

THE CHAMELEON, David Larsen & the Larsen Group, Jason Perry and Shenaniganza

THE DRAFT ZONE, The Draft Zone Open Mic

J JJ’S TAP & SMOKEHOUSE, Brassless Chaps

PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Peter Lucht

J TIMBERS ROADHOUSE, Cary Beare Presents

J ZEEKS PIZZA, Gil Rivas

ZOLA, Justyn Priest

MUSIC | VENUES

219 LOUNGE • 219 N. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-263-5673

ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd., Spokane Valley • 509-927-9463

BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 509-847-1234

BARRISTER WINERY • 1213 W. Railroad Ave. • 509-465-3591

BEE’S KNEES WHISKY BAR • 1324 W. Lancaster Rd.., Hayden • 208-758-0558

BERSERK • 125 S. Stevens St. • 509-315-5101

THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington St. • 509-863-8098

BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 509-467-9638

BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 509-227-7638

BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague Ave. • 509891-8357

BOLO’S BAR & GRILL • 116 S. Best Rd., Spokane Valley • 509-891-8995

BOOMERS CLASSIC ROCK BAR • 18219 E. Appleway Ave., Spokane Valley • 509-368-9847

BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main St., Moscow • 208-596-0887

THE BULL HEAD • 10211 S. Electric St., Four Lakes • 509-838-9717

CHAN’S RED DRAGON • 1406 W. Third Ave. • 509-838-6688

COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw St., Worley • 800-523-2464

COEUR D’ALENE CELLARS • 3890 N. Schreiber Way, Coeur d’Alene • 208-664-2336

CRUISERS BAR & GRILL • 6105 W Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-446-7154

CURLEY’S HAUSER JUNCTION • 26433 W. Hwy. 53, Post Falls • 208-773-5816

THE DISTRICT BAR • 916 W. 1st Ave. • 509-244-3279

EICHARDT’S PUB • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-263-4005

FIRST INTERSTATE CENTER FOR THE ARTS • 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. • 509-279-7000

FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague Ave. • 509-624-1200

IRON HORSE • 407 E. Sherman, Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-7314

IRON HORSE BAR & GRILL • 11105 E. Sprague Ave., Spokane Valley • 509-926-8411

JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. Sixth St., Moscow • 208-883-7662

KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 509-244-3279

MARYHILL WINERY • 1303 W. Summit Pkwy. • 509-443-3832

THE MASON JAR • 101 F St., Cheney • 509-359-8052

MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan Rd., Spokane Valley • 509-922-6252

MILLIE’S • 28441 Hwy 57, Priest Lake • 208-443-0510

MOOSE LOUNGE • 401 E. Sherman Ave., Coeur d’Alene • 208-664-7901

MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague Ave. • 509-838-1570

NASHVILLE NORTH • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-457-9128

NORTHERN QUEST RESORT & CASINO • 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights • 877-871-6772

NYNE BAR & BISTRO • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 509-474-1621

PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545

THE PODIUM • 511 W. Dean Ave. • 509-279-7000

POST FALLS BREWING CO. • 112 N. Spokane St., Post Falls • 208-773-7301

RAZZLE’S BAR & GRILL • 10325 N. Government Way, Hayden • 208-635-5874

RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague Ave. • 509-838-7613

THE RIDLER PIANO BAR • 718 W. Riverside Ave. • 509-822-7938

SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 1004 S. Perry St. • 208-664-8008

SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon Ave. • 509-279-7000

SOUTH PERRY LANTERN • 12303 E. Trent Ave., Spokane Valley • 509-473-9098

STEAM PLANT • 159 S. Lincoln St. • 509-777-3900

STORMIN’ NORMAN’S SHIPFACED SALOON • 12303 E. Trent Ave., Spokane Valley • 509-862-4852

TRANCHE • 705 Berney Dr., Wall Walla • 509-526-3500

ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 509-624-2416

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ALL SEATS GENERAL ADMISSION ADULTS $25 SENIORS $20 UNDER 18 AND STUDENTS WITH ID FREE

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DANCE DAZZLING MOVEMENT

With various styles of ballet ranging from classical to contemporary, American Ballet Theatre Studio Company’s upcoming performance showcases a broad range of dance fit for regular balletgoers or those brand new to the art. American Ballet Theatre Studio is the junior company of American Ballet Theatre, and serves as preparation for its 12- to 18-year-old dancers to eventually join the ranks of leading ballet companies like American Ballet Theatre, which includes renowned dancers such as Misty Copeland and Isabella Boylston. The ABT Studio Company consists of more than a dozen dancers who bring the artistry and grace of American Ballet Theatre to stages around the globe. This marks their first performance in Spokane, and will be filled with both classic and newly choreographed works.

— SUMMER SANDSTROM

American Ballet Theatre • Sat, March 16 at 7:30 pm • $29$79 • First Interstate Center for the Arts • 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. • firstinterstatecenter.org • 509-279-7000

COMMUNITY QUEST FOR GOLD

Find what lies at the end of the rainbow and add a touch of magic to St. Patrick’s Day weekend at Riverfront Park. This year, the park is celebrating Irish cheer while also looking ahead to Expo ’74’s 50th Anniversary with a leprechaun-approved scavenger hunt. Hunt down one of the 150 special edition Expo 50th Anniversary brass coins hidden throughout the park. Each lucky coin that’s found comes with a complimentary ticket for a ride on the Looff Carrousel. It’s the perfect way to wrap up the weekend, which also includes Spokane’s St. Patrick’s Day parade through downtown on Saturday, March 16 at noon. Coeur d’Alene’s parade, meanwhile, happens Sunday, March 17 at 3 pm.

— ASHLYN NORRIS

St. Patrick’s Day Scavenger Hunt • Sun, March 17 at 11 am • Free • Riverfront Park • 507 N. Howard St. • riverfrontspokane.org

COMMUNITY SPRING’S A-COMIN’

It’s so close we can feel it: sunshine, longer days, warm weather, colorful blooms, green grass and trees. Spring! To celebrate 2024’s vernal equinox on March 19, the community learning and literacy hub in Kendall Yards, Spark Central, is throwing a cheerful, handson event that’s open to all. Local organizations and businesses Art Salvage Spokane, Page 42 Bookstore and Snapdragon Flower Farm are also joining in on the fun, which includes floral- and butterflythemed crafts, plus more. It may be just the afternoon or evening you’ve been yearning for while impatiently waiting for the rest of springtime’s natural signs to appear.

— CHEY SCOTT

Bloom Together • Tue, March 19 from 4-7 pm • Free • All ages • Spark Central • 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. • spark-central.org • 509-279-0299

GET LISTED!

Submit events online at Inlander.com/getlisted or email relevant details to getlisted@inlander.com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

WORDS WHALE, WHALE, WHALE…

Moscow-based author and regular Inlander columnist Tara Karr Roberts rang in the new year by releasing her debut novel, Wild and Distant Seas To say that it’s been successful would be a bit of an understatement. The book, based on the life of a minor character from Herman Melville’s magnum opus, Moby-Dick, was immediately popular among historical fiction readers, made its way onto Oprah Daily’s “Best New Novels to Read This January” list and was a Barnes & Noble Discover pick right out of the gate. At this event, Roberts discusses the lush world, fascinating characters she created and the research that went into it all alongside local novelist Sharma Shields. And don’t let the mention of Moby-Dick scare you, Roberts’ novel is about 400 pages lighter and a much breezier read.

— MADISON PEARSON

Tara Karr Roberts: Wild and Distant Seas • Thu, March 21 from 6-7 pm • Free • Central Library • 906 W. Main Ave. • spokanelibrary.org

THEATER FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO PARTY

Prom night is either filled with dancing, laughs and joyous memories or one of the worst nights of your high school life. In this production of The Prom put on by Eastern Washington University’s theater department, an Indiana teenager named Emma learns her prom has been canceled because she wants to bring her girlfriend as her date. After discovering this injustice via Twitter, four eccentric Broadway stars in need of an ego boost decide to go to Indiana and tackle the issue themselves. What ensues is a story of love, hope and a fight for inclusivity in a rural town. Though Emma’s prom night doesn’t go exactly as she hoped it would, she makes new memories and friends that she’ll hold dear for a lifetime.

— MADISON PEARSON

The Prom • Through March 16, Thu at 5 pm, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm and Sun at 2 pm • $5-$10 • Eastern Washington University, Building 210 • 1003 Washington St., Cheney • ewu.edu/theatre

I SAW YOU

LOVE THE SHIRT! I saw you in the Feb. 29 Inlander article “Legend of Zola.” You had on the sweet Deacon Blues T-shirt. First of all you have great taste in music, and second I need to know where you got it??!! Also congrats on keeping Zola alive!

THAT MOP In a crowd, she is a radiant sight, with an aura that glows, so very bright. But it’s her hair, that mop, so fine (bites knuckle), it captivates me time after time. I’ve seen it here, I’ve seen it there, with every glance, it’s true, I swear, that mop is beyond compare. Each strand a tale, a mystery to unfurl, I find myself entranced, lost in her swirl. So here’s to her, with that mane so fair, a vision of beauty, beyond compare. I relish the chance to see it once more, that mop of hers, I truly adore.

CAROUSEL RUNNER I saw you running by the carousel in Riverfront Park one day during lunch. You gave me the most beautiful smile and made my day!

PLEASE SHARE Dolly Parton...hey “J” does your husband know you are cheating on him?

I STILL SEE YOU When we first met on Yahoo! you made me smile, laugh and cry. When I first saw you there was a cat stuck to the door. It’s been decades since then and thousands of miles. Whenever I see fireflies or the stars I think of you.

CHEERS

DANCE LIKE NOBODY IS WATCHING! To all the people singing and dancing their hearts out in their cars, thank you for putting a smile on my face!

LIBRARIES SAVED MY SANITY Cheers to all the local libraries providing so much entertainment for small children during these cold months, especially the new Spokane Valley library. As a stay-at-home parent I’m often at a loss as how to provide entertainment and social interaction for a busy 2-year-old. Libraries to the rescue! So many fun classes and play structures. I surely would have lost my mind this winter without them, and their kind and helpful staff. Thank you!! Sincerely, a very tired mom.

CALLING RADIO TALENT! To the super friendly employee at the Dollar Tree on Sullivan. I’ve seen you work there for years! You, my friend, have a voice for radio, to the point that my coworkers and I have talked about it. Whoever is in charge of the Dollar Tree, give him a raise because he is always polite and helpful. Whoever is in charge of radio talent in Spokane, go find his voice at the Dollar Tree, no joke. A voice for radio. Rock on Justin.

BOTH WAYS Cheers to pedestrians who look both wasy before crossing. Jeers to those who don't keep to the right in store aisles and sidewalks.

RE: CHEERING INTELLIGENCE Simple spelling error doesn’t negate intelligence. That’s a fallacy in itself. These days autocorrect takes over quite a bit. Not an excuse, the response was resubmitted after the error was realized, but you wouldn’t know that.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG Fun reading Seth Sommerfield’s take on some Best Original Songs throughout the years, but he got one quite wrong. “The Way We Were” was not in the least a “snoozefest,” and it is far more enjoyable than “Live and Let Die”! Not only youngsters read the Inlander — some of us remember the wistfulness of the early ‘70s and could, way back when, relate to that heart-wrenching, beautiful song. I love Paul McCartney but L&LD — no thanks. Talk about a snoozefest, at least until the chaotic middle part! Nice that we can all enjoy different styles, though. And this listing did

make me want to pay more attention to this year’s awards.

CHEERS TO THE INLANDER Cheers to the Inlander for recognizing the “Family Friendly Festivals” law for what it is — “Children of Spokane will soon have a new place to hang out and get an education: beer gardens.” Nothing but a money maker for the city. Thanks, Zack. Our children needed this.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY You are the Stars in my eyes! Keep your head up and the fireflies light your path! Happy birthday!

not their business NOR their responsibility to handle my own. I’ll take care of mine.

JEERS

OVITRO Since the U.S. Supreme Court overturned the constitutional right to an abortion in 2022, reversing Roe v. Wade, the rate of progress of new legislation on abortion has been rapid. Alabama’s Supreme Court ruled that frozen embryos are children, thus overturning in vitro fertilization treatments. The Supreme Court also decided that corporations

someone and then never give the courtesy of a response?! Or, after having three or four interviews with an interested soul, only sending a blanket “No Reply” email indicating basically “No thanks.” What’s happened to common courtesy? We get that you don’t want to open yourself up to liability explaining WHY one was not chosen, but not to even allow a return “Thank you for your time” email in response? And we’re talking highly qualified individuals who held good jobs in larger cities. No, we don’t expect anything close to the pay we received there, just the common courtesy of a human response to our inquiry for your posted job(s)!

“ Simple spelling error doesn’t negate intelligence. ”

THIS ONE’S FOR YOU! Jo. A.P. You know I am not expressive with my words, so I thought it would be easier to read them here to you like we always do. I promise to always support you emotionally and do whatever tasks you think up for the day. I promise to express my thoughts and feelings to you and never leave when I am frustrated. I promise to go on amazing adventures with you, in and out of our comfort zones. I promise to work hard to support our family, our future and never give up when times hard tough. I promise to acknowledge your feelings, your point of view, and I will always consider you first before acting. I love you more than anything, you mean the world to me. I can’t wait to experience the Eclipse with you and I know we will make it to the next in 2044. Love, S V P

MINE My body is my sole responsibility. My pregnancy is my sole responsibility. My abortion is my “soul” / sole responsibility. Abortion providers: PLEASE publish your service availability so we can visit your medical facilities/offices for any and all required services we are choosing. Inlander, how about you publish a list of doctors providing abortions so we can visit their clinics for these procedures? We don’t all choose P.P. Thank you in advance for the list. Thank you, also to those knowing it is

are persons within the meaning of the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, but they have been unwilling to acknowledge that corporations are citizens for the purpose of the freedoms and protections. Corporations are not people any more than embryos and fetus are people. Extreme legislation makes sense to radicals in religious rights, such as southern evangelicals.

TRUCK DRIVER HIT-AND-RUN What excuse do you have today for running down a pedestrian last week and driving off? My wife and others pulled over to help the man lying stunned in the road and were too late to take your plate number down. Shame on you. Better watch out for your karma. Everyone else, maybe watch out for other people when behind the wheel of your giant metal boxes. They are important too and just want to get home alive.

CLEAN UP!! People and their alleged “Service Animals.” When they pee and poop in the stores, it means they are NOT Service Animals. Small ones in purses and bags aren’t either!

HR = HOW RUDE What is wrong with some local businesses regarding their hiring practice? How rude to interview

GRAY SEDAN ON NORTH ADDISON A left hand pointed straight outward means a person is turning left. It’s a turn signal from the driver’s guide that you should reread. There you’ll see that a left hand pointed downward at a 45- or 90-degree angle means they are slowing or stopping and upward at 90-degree means that they’re turning right. You’ll also find that no signal exists that says “pass me in an intersection” because that’s stupid, illegal and you’re going to kill someone. n

BENEFIT

COMMUNITY PAINT NIGHT The Newport Creative District hosts this community paint event to support young artists in the Greater Newport area. Proceeds help fund the Visual Art Scholarship offered by Evergreen Art Association. March 14, 6-9 pm. $40. Newport High School, 1380 Fifth St. newportcreativedistrict.com

YWCA WOMEN OF ACHIEVEMENT LUNCHEON This event features a keynote speech and raises critical funds to support the women, children and domestic violence survivors who access YWCA Spokane’s programs and services more than 20,000 times each year. March 15, 11 am-1 pm. $135. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. ywcaspokane.org

SAFE HARBOR MARDI GRA CASINO NIGHT An event featuring hors d’oeuvres, signature cocktails, dancing, a silent auction and a paddle raise. Proceeds benefit Safe Harbor, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to ending human trafficking in the Inland Northwest. March 16, 5-9 pm. $65. Coeur d’Alene Eagles, 209 Sherman. safeharborforfreedom.com

DEMPSEYS REUNION SHOW A reunion show featuring a silent auction and raffle with proceeds going to the Pride Historic and Remembrance Project. March 22, 5-8 pm and March 23, 5-8 pm. $25. nYne Bar & Bistro, 232 W. Sprague Ave. fb.me/e/4V0SpkzQH

COMEDY

SPOKANE SUPER-COMICS A stand-up comedy show featuring local, Spokanebased comics. March 14, 7 pm. $5-$8. Spokane Comedy Club, 315 W. Sprague. spokanecomedyclub.com

BLUE DOORS & DRAGONS A unique improv comedy journey guided by the whims of the dice, audience suggestions and the creativity of the Blue Door improvisers. Fridays at 7:30 pm through March 29. $9. Blue Door Theatre, 319 S. Cedar. bluedoortheatre.org

SPACE QUEERS A comedy show featuring stand-up, drag and more from local talent including Jared Lyons-Wolf, T.S. Loveless, Camrynne Sullivan and more. March 15, 7:30 pm. $15. Magic Lantern Theatre, 25 W. Main Ave. magiclanternonmain.com (509-209-2383)

IMPROV & POETRY This four-week class teaches students how to harness improv to improve their poetry through a mix of group games, literary conversations and writing prompts. March 16-April 6, Sat from 10 am-noon. $100. Blue Door Theatre, 319 S. Cedar St. spokaneschoolofimprov.org

SAFARI The Blue Door Theatre’s version of Whose Line for which players improv short skits from audience suggestions. Every Saturday at 7:30 pm through Dec. 28. $9. Blue Door Theatre, 319 S. Cedar St. bluedoortheatre.com

COMMUNITY

FREE IMMIGRATION CLINIC A free clinic or anyone in need of an immigration legal consult. Second Thursday of each month from 5-7 pm. Free. Latinos en Spokane, 1502 N. Monroe St. latinosenspokane.org

LEARN HOW TO USE THE FIG TREE’S RESOURCE DIRECTORY Learn about The Fig Tree newspaper’s history and

mission, media literacy, the importance of nonprofit independent media in a civil society, and the Resource Directory as a self-help tool. March 14, 5:30-6:30 pm. Free. Liberty Park Library, 402 S. Pittsburgh St. spokanelibrary.org

MAKING A LEPRECHAUN TRAP Engineer a trap for a leprechaun using the library’s supplies. Grades 2-5. March 14, 10-11 am. Free. North Spokane Library, 44 E. Hawthorne. scld.org

O’SHERMAN’S GOLD QUEST Visit host sites where O’Sherman the leprechaun is hiding. Find him inside a business, write down the word he’s holding and figure out the secret phrase to be entered to win prizes. Through March 17, 9 am-5 pm. Free. Downtown Coeur d’Alene. cdadowntown.com

SHAMROCKIN TALENT SHOW Participants perform skits, music, tap dance and more. Gift card drawings at intermission. March 15, 7-9 pm. Free. Unity Center of Divine Light and Love, 4123 E. Lincoln Rd. theunitycenter.org

SPOKANE ST. PATRICK’S PARADE

This annual parade includes traditional Irish dancing, music and floats. March 16, noon. Free. Downtown Spokane. friendlysonsofstpatrick.com

COEUR D’IRISH ST PATRICK’S DAY

PARTY This celebration features interactive carnival games, dancing, Irish libations, traditional Irish music and dancing and more, plus Irish cuisine, a no-host Irish Whiskey tasting and full bar. March 16, 6-10 pm. $25-$50. Coeur d’Alene Resort, 115 S. Second. coeurdalenerotary.org

RALLY THE VALLEY SHOP HOP Visit all eight participating stores to enjoy instore specials, treats and to be entered to a grand prize. Participating shops include Mulberry Market Co., The Plant Farm, Rebel Junk and more. March 16, 9 am-5 pm. mulberrymarketco.com

REPAIR CAFÉ WORKSHOP

Bring household items in need of repair for an afternoon of learning and skill building. Knowledgeable volunteers discuss which supplies and tools are needed and demonstrate the skills used to fix the items. Led by volunteers from Perry Street Market’s Repair Café. March 16, 1-5 pm. Free. Spokane Valley Library, 22 N. Herald Rd. scld.org

COEUR D’ALENE ST. PATRICK’S PARADE This 19th annual parade includes marching bands, dancing, music and festive floats. March 17, 3-4 pm. Free. Downtown Coeur d’Alene, Sherman Ave. cdadowntown.com

SAINT PATRICK’S DAY SCAVENGER

HUNT Embark on a quest for one of the 150 special edition Expo 50th Anniversary brass coins hidden across the park, each accompanied by a complimentary ticket for a ride on the Looff Carrousel. March 17, 11 am. Free. Riverfront Park, 507 N. Howard. riverfrontspokane.org

SHAMROCK SHINDIG An afternoon of family friendly fun, Celtic music and mirth plus an art exhibit featuring local artists. March 17, 3-5 pm. Free. Double Barrel Craft Kitchen and Taphouse, 208 S. Washington. doublebarrelckat.com

BLOOM TOGETHER: A CELEBRATION OF SPRING Celebrate the coming season with DIY florals, butterflies and more with folks from Art Salvage, Snapdragon Flowers, and Page 42, plus connect with others in a festive atmosphere. March 19, 4-7 pm. Free. Spark Central, 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. sparkcentral.org (509-279-0299)

FIREWISE FOR CITY DWELLERS

Learn ways to prepare your property and reduce the risk of fire devastation with Spokane City Fire Department representative Nick Jeffries. March 20, 6-7 pm. Free. Shadle Library, 2111 W. Wellesley Ave. spokanelibrary.org

31ST ANNIVERSARY POWWOW A two-day event featuring a family night (March 22) where families can participate in name givings, rejoinings, memorials and honoring of passed loved ones as well as two Grand Entry dances (March 23). March 22, 7 pm and March 23, 11 am-11 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Casino, 37914 S. Nukwalqw. cdacasino. com (208-769-2464)

SPOKANE GEM, MINERAL AND JEWELRY SHOW Dealers from around the country gather to sell fossils, crystals, minerals, gems and jewelry. March 2224; Fri-Sat from 10 am-6 pm, Sun from 10 am-4 pm. $7-$8. Spokane County Fair & Expo Center, 404 N. Havana St. fb.me/e/5902WfEBW (509-477-1766)

FILM

ABSOLUTE ANIME: THE END OF EVANGELION A groundbreaking, action-packed series from creator Hideaki Anno serving as an alternate ending to Neon Genesis Evangelion. March 17, 4-6 & 7-9 pm and March 20, 3-5 pm. $8. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main. kenworthy.org

MOSCOW FILM SOCIETY: PARIS, TEX-

AS A mysterious, nearly mute drifter Travis tries to reconnect with his young son and missing wife. March 18, 6:30-9 pm. $8. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. kenworthy.org (208-882-4127)

MAKING A CLAYMATION VIDEO Explore the world of stop-motion animation using clay. Sculpt the characters and world as you imagine, and then turn it all into a video to share. Ages 10+. Registration is required. March 20, 3:30-5:30 pm. Free. Spokane Valley Library, 22 N. Herald Rd. scld.org

FOOD & DRINK

PI DAY: AN IRRATIONAL PIE EVENT Celebrate Pi Day by purchasing personal sweet pies in a variety of flavors for $3.14. March 14, 10 am-5:30 pm. $3.14. Birdie’s Pie Shop, 712 N Monroe St. birdiespies.com (509-241-3192)

ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADE POUR

BEFORE Sip Pacific Northwest beer and cider, sample Irish-inspired bites and enjoy live music by the Shea Tea Folkin Irish Band. March 15, 6-10 pm. $35-$40. Northern Quest Resort & Casino, 100 N. Hayford Rd. northernquest.com

FOOD WASTE REDUCTION CLASS: QUICK PICKLING A step-by-step guide on quick pickling at home. Recipes include pickled onions and radishes. Registration required. March 18, 11 amnoon. Free. Second Harvest, 1234 E. Front Ave. secondharvestkitchen.org

PRIME RIB DINNER Learn how to make herb-crusted prime rib with chef Al Batson. March 21, 5:45-8 pm. $115. The Kitchen Engine, 621 W. Mallon Ave. thekitchenengine.com (509-328-3335)

BISCUITS & GRAVY Kristi Fountain shares how to make flaky, buttery, buttermilk biscuits and creamy sausage gravy from scratch. March 22, 12-1:30 pm. $65. The Kitchen Engine, 621 W. Mallon. thekitchenengie.com

EVENTS | CALENDAR

HAND-FORMED PASTA COOKING CLASS Chef Frank teaches participants how to create various pasta noodles in this hands-on class. The class culminates in a family-style meal inside the historic estate. March 22, 6:30-9:30 pm. $85. Commellini Estate, 14715 N. Dartford Dr. commelliniestate.com

MUSIC

CDA SYMPHONY: CELEBRATING OUR YOUNG ARTISTS Young regional artists perform world-class solos with the Coeur d’Alene Symphony. March 16, 7:30 pm. $15-$35. Schuler Performing Arts Center, 880 W. Garden Ave. cdasymphony.org (208-769-7780)

FLOATING CROWBAR & THE IRISH HARAN DANCERS Don Thomsen, James Hunter, Rick Rubin and Morgan Andersen perform as Floating Crowbar. The Irish Haran Dancers dance to their Irish instrumental music and songs. March 16, 6:30-8:30 pm. $25. The Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St. thejacklincenter.org

INLAND NORTHWEST SONGFEST

A celebration of songwriting in the region. This event is hosted at three venues (Bing Crosby Theater, Dry Fly and The Steam Plant) in downtown Spokane. Events include in-person, stage discussions with industry experts, and performances by local and national songwriters. March 16, 12-10 pm. $33-$80. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com

SPOKANE SYMPHONY POPS 4: MU -

SIC OF THE NIGHT From the melodies of Phantom of the Opera to the new classics of Wicked, experience fanfavorite show tunes brought to life by the Spokane Symphony and broadway stars Morgan James and Hugh Panaro. March 16, 7:30 pm. $47-$100. The Fox Theater, 1001 W. Sprague Ave. foxtheaterspokane.org (509-624-1200)

d’Alene Casino Family Feast Night & Rally Towel Giveaway and the regular season finale. March 17, 5:05 pm. $13$32. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. spokanechiefs.com

TOYOTA SKI FREE FRIDAY Drive your Toyota to the mountain and receive a free lift ticket for that day. Limit one free lift ticket per vehicle. March 22. Lookout Pass Ski & Recreation Area, I-90 Exit 0. skilookout.com (208-744-1301)

THEATER & DANCE

THE PROM Four eccentric Broadway stars are in desperate need of a new stage. So, when they hear that trouble is brewing around a small-town prom, they know that it’s time to put a spotlight on the issue… and themselves. Thu at 5 pm, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm through March 16. $10. EWU Theatre, 210 Theatre, 1003 Washington St. ewu. edu/theatre (509-359-2459)

HAMLET The classic Shakespearean tale of power and revenge featuring an original score. Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 5 pm through March 17. $20. Central Library, 906 W. Main Ave. facebook.com/ brightcomettheatre (509-444-5336)

RABBIT HOLE Becca experiences trauma when losing her only son Danny in a car accident. Eight months have passed and Becca still can’t deal with her grief. Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm through March 17. $15-$20. Whitworth Cowles Auditorium, 300 W. Hawthorne Ave. whitworth.edu/rabbit-hole

AMERICAN BALLET THEATRE ABT

Studio Company performs a dynamic mixed-repertoire program, featuring classical and neoclassical excerpts plus original commissions. March 16, 7:30 pm. $39-$89. First Interstate Center for the Arts, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. firstinterstatecenter.org

by James Tingey, Sandi Bransfrd, Gordon Wilson and Betsey Hurd. Wed-Sun from 11 am-6 pm through March 31. Free. The Art Spirit Gallery, 415 Sherman Ave. theartspiritgallery.com

HAROLD BALAZS: REPLICATING

SCULPTURES IN POLYMER CLAY Take a retrospective look at local artist Harold Balazs and replicate some of his most iconic sculptures using polymer clay and extruders. Register online. Ages 9-10 and 6-8 with an adult. March 15, 4-5 pm. Free. Shadle Library, 2111 W. Wellesley Ave. spokanelibrary.org

REINALDO GIL ZAMBRANO: STORYTELLING THROUGH LINOCUT PRINTS

Learn about local artist Reinaldo Gil Zambrano’s creative process. Then carve and print your own artworks. Ages 10-14. Register to attend. March 20, 4-5 pm. Free. South Hill Library, 3324 S. Perry St. spokanelibrary.org

WORDS

JOSEPH HAEGER: BARDO Local author Joseph Haeger celebrates the release of his latest book, Bardo. March 15, 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com

ANNUAL NORTHERN SLAM Local high school students perform original poetry on stage. The panel of judges features local writers and literary enthusiasts. March 18, 6:30-8 pm. Free. Riverside High School, 4120 E. Deer Park/Milan Rd. scld.org (509-464-8500)

BROKEN MIC Spokane Poetry Slam’s longest-running, weekly open mic reading series. Wednesdays at 6:30 pm; sign-ups at 6 pm. Free. Neato Burrito, 827 W. First Ave. bit.ly/2ZAbugD

VALLEY SLAM Local high school students perform original poetry on stage. The panel of judges features local writers and literary enthusiasts. March 21, 6:30-8:30 pm. Free. University High School, 12320 E. 32nd Ave. scld.org

VOICES OF OUR YOUTH The four orchestras of the Spokane Youth Symphony perform pieces that focus on the unique achievements of individual student musicians. March 17, 4-6 pm. $15$19. The Fox Theater, 1001 W. Sprague Ave. spokaneyouthsymphony.org

SPORTS & OUTDOORS

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS Night skiing with the addition of live music on the mountain. Every Friday from 3-9 pm through March 29. $39. Mt. Spokane Ski & Snowboard Park, 29500 N. Mt. Spokane Park Dr. mtspokane.com

MARCHI GRAS Celebrate Mardi Gras with bead necklaces at the base of the gondola and a special New Orleansinspired menu at the top of the mountain. March 16. Silver Mountain Resort, 610 Bunker Ave. silvermt.com

SHEJUMPS: WILD SKILLS JUNIOR SKI PATROL Girls learn mountain safety and first aid while working with the women of the 49 Degrees North Ski Patrol. Participants are taught a range of outdoor skills that are utilized by ski patrollers to keep the mountain safe. This event is intended for intermediate to expert skiers/snowboarders ages 8-15. March 16, 8:30 am-4:30 pm. $40. 49 Degrees North, 3311 Flowery Trail Rd. shejumps.org (509-935-6649)

SPOKANE CHIEFS VS. WENATCHEE

WILD Promotions include Coeur

DANCEFEST 2024 This annual dance festival celebrates the diversity of dance in the Inland Northwest through a showcase that includes dances in a variety of styles. March 16, 1:30-4 pm. Free. Spokane Community College, 1810 N. Greene St. indaspokane.org/dancefest

VISUAL ARTS

DOGS & CATS A group show of works capturing the essence of beloved pets and the universal significance of pets in our daily lives. Daily from 11 am-7 pm through March 30. Free. Liberty Building, 203 N. Washington St. spokanelibertybuilding.com (509-327-6920)

JEFF CAMDEN Camden’s art focuses on landscape scenes, creating images of real places and animals as well as imaginary places. Daily from 11 am-7 pm through March 30. Free. Pottery Place Plus, 203 N. Washington St. potteryplaceplus.com (509-327-6920)

SPOKANE PUBLIC SCHOOLS MIDDLE SCHOOL ART SHOW Artwork by students from various Spokane schools. Daily from 10 am-8 pm through March 31. Free. Kress Gallery, 808 W. Main Ave. riverparksquare.com

WAYFINDING An exhibit highlight these very different artists’ methods and ways of finding their own voice in the work that they do. Featuring works

MADELINE MILLER: ON RETELLING GREEK CLASSICS Madeline Miller, author of The Song of Achilles and Circe, talks about her body of work and her process in retelling Greek classics as modern epics in fiction. March 21, 4-5 pm. Free. libraryc.org/scld/41327

TARA KARR ROBERTS: WILD AND DISTANT SEAS The Moscow-based author discusses her novel Wild and Distant Seas with Sharma Shields. March 21, 6-7 pm. Free. Central Library, 906 W. Main. spokanelibrary.org

PATRICK CARMAN: THE TERROR IN JENNY’S ARMPIT Carman reads from and signs The Terror In Jenny’s Armpit the first in his new middle-grade Bonkers! series. March 22, 6-8 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com (509-838-0206)

THE ARCHETYPAL ARTIST: 7 MYTHIC STRUCTURES FOR ANY GENRE Journaling, writing meditations and literary themes can guide you in developing your craft and sparking your inspiration. March 23, 10:30 am-12:30 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Public Library, 702 E. Front Ave. kimemorgan.com

EIJA SUMNER: THE GOOD LITTLE MERMAID’S GUIDE TO BEDTIME Celebrate the publication of Sumner’s new children’s book, The Good Little Mermaid’s Guide to Bedtime. The author reads, signs and answers questions. March 23, 2:30 pm. Free. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. bookpeopleofmoscow.com (208-882-4127) n

POLITICS

Waffling in the White House

Biden talks big on cannabis reform, but his walk tells a different story

BY WILL MAUPIN

Last week, President Joe Biden delivered a truly historic moment. During the State of the Union address, he mentioned cannabis in what was, best I can tell, the first time a president has said anything remotely pro-cannabis during that speech.

“No one should be jailed for using or possessing marijuana,” Biden said during the speech to the assembled members of his Cabinet, both houses of Congress and most of the Supreme Court justices.

A tweet from the president’s account saying the same thing has been liked over 104,000 times as of Monday. (The tweet sent from his account just two minutes prior, addressing the climate crisis, has less than 6,000 likes, for comparison.)

That’s a very big statement, and it’s clearly popular. It’s something to take seriously, though it may be a bit premature to get

excited just yet.

Biden has been slowly and steadily transforming his views on cannabis since winning election in 2020. During that year’s campaign, in a very crowded Democratic primary field, Biden was the lone candidate who did not come out in favor of legalization.

As president, Biden has come to embrace cannabis. In fall 2022 he announced that his administration would look into the legal status of cannabis at the federal level, a process that is still ongoing. He also announced that he would be pardoning people convicted for simple cannabis possession at the federal level.

Those pardons impacted an estimated 6,500 people. A big number, but a drop in the bucket when it comes to the total number of people in the United States with nonviolent cannabis convictions.

Biden could have done more, but he

stopped short after an impactful but largely symbolic move. Now he’s saying that, if we take him at his word, he thinks more needs to be done.

What he says is big, no doubt, but what he does can be bigger.

But first he has to overcome resistance from throughout the government, including his own White House.

Reporting from the Wall Street Journal found pushback on Biden’s push from officials at the Drug Enforcement Administration — they’re literal narcs, so that’s not surprising.

But just days after his State of the Union remarks, Biden’s own administration released a budget proposal that, according to Marijuana Moment’s analysis, would maintain Washington, D.C.’s prohibition on cannabis sales, despite the fact that D.C. voters legalized cannabis nearly a decade ago. n

The first president to say “marijuana” at the State of the Union. WHITE HOUSE PHOTO

GREEN ZONE

BE AWARE: Marijuana is legal for adults 21 and older under Washington State law (e.g., RCW 69.50, RCW 69.51A, HB0001 Initiative 502 and Senate Bill 5052). State law does not preempt federal law; possessing, using, distributing and selling marijuana remains illegal under federal law. In Washington state, consuming marijuana in public, driving while under the influence of marijuana and transporting marijuana across state lines are all illegal. Marijuana has intoxicating effects; there may be health risks associated with its consumption, and it may be habit-forming. It can also impair concentration, coordination and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. Keep out of reach of children. For more information, consult the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board at www.liq.wa.gov.

NOTE TO READERS

Be aware of the differences in the law between Idaho and Washington. It is illegal to possess, sell or transport cannabis in the State of Idaho. Possessing up to an ounce is a misdemeanor and can get you a year in jail and up to a $1,000 fine; more than three ounces is a felony that can carry a fiveyear sentence and fine of up to $10,000. Transporting marijuana across state lines, like from Washington into Idaho, is a felony under federal law.

59. A head

62.

69.

DOWN

67.

34. Icelandic band ___ Ros

36. “Damn Yankees” co-director Stanley

38.

39.

41.

49.

51.

56.

60.

61.

“In ___ of gifts ...”

64. Slow companions at home?

68. Pilot predictions, for short

“The Thursday Murder Club” novelist Richard

70. Arizona mesa dwellers

71. Albanian’s neighbor

72. Makeup of Maslow’s hierarchy

73. Wild guess

1. Field arbiter

2. Greek god of war

3. Plant parasite

4. Flower fragment

5. Part of ABV

6. End-of-the-year mo.

7. Tube where eggs travel

8. Lose composure

9. Connery’s antagonist, in ‘90s “SNL”

10. Newfoundland sound

11. 1991 Joy Fielding thriller named for a line in a classic kids’ primer

12. Alternative to bottled

13. Soap pump contents 18. Not new

Bee formation 25. Birch, e.g.

Cafe au lait container

27. Flightless South American birds 28. “___ the Unknown” (“Frozen II” song)

29. Barack’s first chief of staff 30. Avoid

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