CULTURE | DIGEST
Blood Alcohol Consequences
FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION
BY JACOB JONES
ALBUM | If the new Decemberists album was just Colin Meloy singing dictionary entries or a concept record about great horned owl mating rituals, I’d hardly be surprised. This Portland band is just weird enough to pull something like that. But their latest offering, WHAT A TERRIBLE WORLD, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WORLD (out Jan. 20), is hardly so audacious. From the singles they’ve released so far, it’s more of a return to the genre-mixing of The Crane Wife than the power folk of 2011’s smash record The King is Dead. Check out the video for “Make You Better,” which features Nick Offerman as a Scandinavian talk show host.
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ome hangovers never really go away. Days later, fear and shame still swim in the stomachs of 13 people now summoned to Spokane County District Courtroom No. 6. Many shift in their seats nervously. Eyes well up. As others returned to work on Jan. 2, these gathered few must face the bright, new year with dread. The courtroom sits silent. Everyone rises as Judge Donna Wilson takes the bench for the first DUI docket of 2015. “So everyone had a good New Year’s, huh?” the judge says. Working down the docket, the judge calls through the names. Jasmine, 19, faces charges she rammed her Audi station wagon into an electrical box before getting the
DISTILLED A SHOT OF LIFE
vehicle stuck up on some boulders (blood alcohol content, .147). Susan, 52, was caught driving 48 miles per hour along Interstate 90 with her headlights off (BAC, .086, just over the legal limit). “You could have been killed,” the judge tells them. Brad, 48, steps forward in a blue polo shirt and glasses. His attorney stands next to him, hair trim, suit sharp. Authorities say officers stopped Brad just after 11 on New Year’s Eve, speeding and drifting out of his lane. He explains he is heading to pick up his children, but fails a field sobriety test and refuses a breathalyzer. The prosecutor reads through the file. He has a previous BUI charge, boating under the influence. And he’s a local firefighter.
BY MIKE BOOKEY
“What?” Judge Wilson exclaims, adding, “How old are the kids?” Brad stands with his hands clasped at his waist. He says he has twin 12-year-old boys and a 5-year-old daughter. His attorney addresses the court a short while later, adding with sad irony: “[My client] is not just a firefighter. He drives the engine.” “Awesome,” the judge responds, turning to Brad. “You know better.” Wilson orders him released, but he must undergo eight random urine tests a month at $20 a pop. She continues down the docket. Brendan, 32, got picked up at 3:15 am on Jan. 1. His movements were “slow and labored” (BAC, .102). JESSIE SPACCIA ILLUSTRATION Logan was found asleep in his truck with a loaded Glock pistol nearby (BAC, .144). “Law enforcement was overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol inside the vehicle,” the prosecutor adds. “The arrest decision was extremely easy.” Wilson releases them all after scheduling future court hearings. She warns them they must not use any drugs or alcohol: “You’re going to be clean as the driven snow.” They all shuffle out of the courtroom, their first appearance over, but a sickness churning still, the ache of regret and the weight of consequences to come. After the hearing, one defense attorney heads toward the exit as a colleague passes by. “You get some new clients from the New Year?” she asks. “You betcha.”
HISTORY FARMING IN CDA The local food movement has a lot of people farming in their backyards, but rarely do they know about what sort of food was cultivated in the area back when folks had to grow their own sustenance. The Inland Northwest Food Network is providing some historical grounding for fledgling farmers and the generally curious alike with a presentation about the history of farming in Coeur d’Alene (Tuesday, Jan. 13, at 5:30 pm at the University of Idaho Extension in Coeur d’Alene). You’ll learn about the hunter-gatherer practices of the region’s Native Americans as well as how miners and Jesuit missionaries planted the area’s first crops. It’s a chance to put some history in your own garden.
TELEVISION | I couldn’t get into PARENTHOOD when it debuted in 2010. I think it was Craig T. Nelson. The dude is always Coach to me, ya know? But I stuck with it, first out of marital obligation and then out of true fandom. The sixth and final season returns from its hiatus on Thursday, Jan. 8 (10 pm, NBC) and sees the big, talented cast at its best, with a web of story lines that manage to convey real-life problems like unplanned pregnancy and heart attacks with a sincerity so often absent from network dramas. It’s clear there’s going to be some sadness in the final few episodes; I suggest you binge your way to the present and weep along with me. PODCAST | The premise is positively obnoxious: two guys watch Grown Ups 2, which they acknowledge is awful, every week for a year and then talk about it. But New Zealanders Guy Montgomery and Tim Batt own the obnoxiousness, which is why the show is titled THE WORST IDEA OF ALL TIME. The guys are nearing their oneyear goal and you can hear their sanity dwindling with every episode. Somehow, the nonsensical bantering about the inane movie doesn’t get as old as it should — especially when they talk about their love for Jon Lovitz — but you’re left really feeling for that pair. What a burden to bear.
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Chili and Cornbread
Meatloaf Dinner
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Pot Roast Dinner
JANUARY 8, 2015 INLANDER 27