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inside MAY 23-29 2013 | Vol. 20, No. 32


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comment StAFF DIRectoRY phone: 509-325-0634 ted s. mcgregor Jr. ( PUBLISHER

If you could have one band or musician, living or dead, come play a show in Spokane, who would it be?

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CAITLIN SINCLAIR Definitely Mumford & Sons. I’ve just loved everything they’ve put out over the last couple years. I couldn’t imagine being in the crowd for one of their shows. That would be a dream come true.

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BRIANNE BROWN John Legend. I like his music. I think a lot of people don’t listen to John Legend as much, and I’m in that R&B zone some days. Do you think it would sell? I don’t think it would — Justin Bieber, though. If we want to make some money, bring Justin Bieber here.

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6 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013

New Frontiers While the Old West still feeds the mythology of the region, the New West commands a new paradigm BY MICHAEL DAX


rederick Jackson Turner’s classic 1893 essay, “The Significance of the Frontier in American History,” argued that the frontier experience — the opportunity for unlimited expansion into “uninhabited” lands — shaped the country’s entrepreneurial spirit. Turner’s essay took on added significance because three years earlier, the Census Bureau had declared the frontier closed. The line that separated “civilized” from “uncivilized” was gone. Over the next few decades, settlers filled in the remaining pockets, but the era of limitless westward expansion that began in 1607 with Jamestown had ended. No matter how accurate Turner’s thesis was, in the succeeding decades, Americans were struck with what historians called “frontier anxiety.” Because Americans no longer had the opportunity to settle and conquer wild lands, they looked for new outlets to re-create the frontier experience. The rise of organized sports, transcontinental expansion and romanticized depictions of the era, such as Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show, can be seen as attempts to preserve this development.


oday, the West faces the end of another frontier. Although extractive industries such as logging, ranching and mining were once the backbone of the region’s economy, over the past four decades, new sectors have slowly eclipsed these Old West industries. Tourism, technology and other service industries have consistently outpaced the region’s traditional economic cornerstones. From 1970 to 2000, the income earned from professional and service industries in the West increased from more than $250 million to almost $1 billion, while agriculture and mining remained below $50 million. In Montana, where I live, professional, technical, financial and business service industries added more than 30,000 jobs between 1998 and 2008, while farming and ranching lost almost 3,000. By 1980, only 17 percent of Idahoans were employed in agriculture or mining, and by 2009 that number had dropped even further, to 3.9 percent. Without a doubt, a new frontier — one demarcated by job-sector growth and net profit — has emerged and is slowly redefining the West’s economy. Along with this economic transition, the region has experienced a cultural transformation marked by increases in urban populations, changes in environmental values and public-land management and a new flourishing of cultural institutions. Newer and bigger airports have been built to accommodate growing tourist traffic, second-home ownership in rural areas has surged, retirees have flocked to the region

and ski resorts and sport utility vehicles have replaced working ranches and horses as more accurate symbols of the West. While Old West institutions remain entrenched in isolated pockets throughout the region, they no longer represent the West as they once did. You might expect the region’s politics to reflect this economic and cultural transformation, but just as late-19th century Americans wanted to find ways to relive the frontier experience, modern Westerners keep projecting the Old West’s mythic imagery. It’s a bid to claim authenticity even though it’s no longer representative of the region. Wyoming Senators Mike Enzi and John Barrasso, for example, both use classic images of the American West — a herd of grazing horses against a backdrop of mountains and a vintage pickup truck driving down a rural two-lane road — as the primary images of their respective congressional Web pages. Western politicians not only strive to maintain a symbolic tie with Old West culture; the policies they pursue also demonstrate a refusal to let go of it, even when it’s necessary. In Montana, bison restoration remains intensely controversial, with few politicians willing to support it unequivocally because of objections from ranchers. Similarly, debate over wolf management has not seen a moment’s rest over the past 20 years, even though wolves have brought an enormous amount of tourist dollars into Wyoming, Idaho and Montana. Finally, whenever a national forest’s management plan is revised, the timber industry exerts much more influence than its small share of the region’s economy ought to allow.


t the turn of the 20th century, Americans feared that the end of the frontier experience meant the end of American exceptionalism. Coast-to-coast settlement was the beginning of a slow countdown until we eventually became indistinguishable from Europeans. Today, many Westerners fear that economic and cultural changes will lead the region to lose what has made it unique. But it’s time to face facts and relegate the celebration of the Old West to heritage days, parades and school textbooks. The 21st century West, though modernized, will not lose the wealth of natural resources that make it exceptional. And though extraction may once have defined the region, protecting our public lands — always vulnerable to excessive development — will best maintain the region’s unique character. n This essay first appeared in High Country News ( Michael Dax writes about the American West in Missoula, Mont.

comment | publisher’s note

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The Sports Mafia by ted s. mcGregor jr.


ack in college, we loved going to Sonics games — mainly to see some of that era’s epic players in person. We witnessed Jordan, Magic and Bird. The crazy part was, the Sonics started to get good, with Xavier McDaniel, Tom Chambers and Dale Ellis. They finally made the playoffs; management was so sure they wouldn’t that they had booked an RV show or something into Seattle Center Coliseum. We watched Seattle play home playoff games in Hec Ed at UW against the Mavericks — and they beat ’em. The toughest dude on that Sonics team was Maurice Lucas, aka “The Enforcer” — a job now apparently filled by the smiling-while-he-stabs-youin-the-back NBA commish David Stern. Back in 2008, Stern orchestrated the sports betrayal of the decade when he exported the Sonics to Oklahoma City. And just this month, he slammed the door in Seattle’s face by denying it the chance to land the flailing Sacramento franchise. Make no mistake, 22 of 30 owners shut down Seattle’s shot at a reborn Sonics because of money. Olympia said no to state funding to keep the Sonics back in 2007 (as they should have), and the NBA owners haven’t forgotten it. They don’t want other states to get any ideas. Then, the 2013 deal proposed by Seattle investor Chris Hansen would have given the ownership of the new arena to the City of Seattle. The NBA owners don’t like that precedent either. They want to own the facilities — without paying for them, of course. I never wanted Seattle to steal another team, and it makes all the business sense in the world to just add an expansion team to the NBA. So why won’t they just give Seattle its own team? There’s no good explanation; it looks more like the league is making some kind of an example out of Seattle. The job of the city and/or state, they seem to be saying, is to keep quiet — and keep writing checks. I love the game, but the business of basketball is feeling more like a racket than ever. This age of austerity is going to force pro sports, like so many Americans, to learn to live without the crutch of public money. Meanwhile, the view from this side of the Cascades is great. We’re in that sweet spot — not so big a city that we’re drained by the drama of big-money sports. Instead, we’re out participating, with another great Bloomsday in the books, and Hoopfest just around the corner. The Zags continue to do us proud, the Eagles are a perennial powerhouse, the Shock are the fastest show on turf and the Indians are investing in improvements to a game-day experience that is already one of the best parts of summer. I miss the Sonics, sure, but there’s plenty of action here to help me move on. n

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MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 7

comment | digest on our facebook

Do you think this year’s high school graduates have it easier or harder than you did?

Melissa Murphy Consistently ranked as a Top Ten producing agent since 2008

Erin Artman: So much harder! The job economy is almost nonexistent and the cost of college has skyrocketed, so even if they do graduate college, they are so far in debt it will be difficult to pay back the loans without some kind of miracle.


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Stop Tiptoeing

As a UK citizen who has lived in the States for over 30 years, I have watched in slack-jawed disbelief as you have descended further and further into gun violence (“The English Way,” 5/16/13). If I were in charge, I would take away your guns and send you to your rooms without supper to think about what you have done. Since that isn’t an option, I do have a workable alternative for you: three years mandatory national service after high school. You would be able to keep your precious arms with the additional responsibility that you would bear them in a military or first responder unit, and would be on call from ages 18 to 65 for the latest war, bombing or natural disaster. Stop tiptoeing around the Second Amendment as if it would crumble into dust if you touched it. Ask yourselves Dr. Phil’s question: “How’s that workin’ for ya?” Answer: 300,000 gun-related deaths since 9/11 — it’s not. Constitutional law, including the Bill of Rights, is subject to ongoing interpretation and reinterpretation based on the greater social good. Don’t be victims of special interest groups — make the law work for you. Ray da Silveira Spokane, Wash.

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8 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013

Everyone holds up the Constitution like it’s the Bible. It‘s strange how when the Spokane leadership is given the opportunity to make those constitutional rights more concrete for the citizens (“Let The Voters Decide,” 5/2/13), they don’t jump at the chance. Maybe they are more like the Founding Fathers than I think. The rights in the Constitution only included white male landowners, and while the distinctions aren’t so clear these days, I’m sure they know where they are. If the Spokane mayor and city council derail the initiative process, it will be clear that they don’t serve all the people. Donald Dysart Spokane, Wash.

Get Out of the Way

Spokane voters should be allowed to have their say — up or down — on any ballot initiative that has the required number of valid signatures. “Let the voters decide,” says Councilman Mike Fagan (5/2/13), but apparently only for initiatives that the city council supports. The city council should not give the mayor authority to block the citizens of Spokane from voting on the Community Bill of Rights. Pre-election legal opinions are no substitute for post-election court deliberations. Furthermore, even when a voter-approved initiative law is ultimately found unworkable or unconstitutional, the initiative process is worth the effort, because it is our best barometer of the aspirations of a selfgoverning people and ensures that our elected officials are indeed acting at the consent of the governed. Kenny Jones Spokane, Wash.

Make It Expensive

About substance abuse of prescription drugs by the same people who own the prescription pad (“Heal Thyself,” 5/16/13): I agree with the point that the threat of ending a doctor’s career isn’t the answer to solving the issue at hand. The major problem is the fact that addiction is a disease that needs to be treated, not avoided. This can be solved in two different ways. Rehab clinics would help the user (doctor in this case) achieve sobriety, and charging very expensive fees for refills of these prescription drugs would also keep the patients from becoming addicted. In doing this, it would become difficult for patients to get refills, emphasizing the importance of the drugs being needed for strictly reducing pain rather than substance abuse. Although the price of refills would increase, the price of the original prescription would remain the same. The consequence for the doctor using/abusing and distributing excessive amounts of prescriptions should be the suspension of his/her license. Zachary A. Chapman Cheney, Wash.

Bill Turner: I don’t think any generation has had it any more or less difficult than the previous. It all depends on if someone is willing to work towards a goal. If you just sit around waiting for, or feel entitled to something, chances are great that you aren’t going to get very far. Nicole Lengling: Sadly, I agree it is tough these days. There is some work out there, though, they just need to to be frugal with their money for a while. Jennifer Fanto: I think no matter when you graduate it can be as easy or difficult as you make it. We all face our own unique set of challenges and must find a way to overcome them. Carol Landa-McVicker: I think today’s world is more challenging for many students. More dysfunctional families, more poverty, fewer jobs for high school graduates, higher cost of college. Tanisha Marie: Vision n discipline is the only thing I believe that separates da losers from da winners regardless of the year you graduate... hope these future graduates are adaptable cuz it’s a cold world... Shaeleen Fasbender: I think that high school graduates have it easier in the sense of options but are limited by economy and finances. Which is sad. Sasha Eric Jude Holman: I’m part of the class of 2011 and we had it pretty rough as it was. Now the economy is even worse and everything is more expensive, so I say good luck to all of them and get out there and find a job, don’t wait a year to “have some fun after high school” because that approach didn’t work for most of my friends. n

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 9

10 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013

comment | satire

Scandal Saturation by andy borowitz


rguing that the American people are sick and tired of hearing the word “scandal,” a growing chorus of Republican lawmakers said they would stop using the word “scandal” in every sentence if President Obama resigns from office immediately. “Mr. President, for the past week, the American people have heard nothing but scandal,” said Rep. Darrell Issa (R-California). “Scandal, scandal, scandal, and more scandal. You have called for investigations to get to the bottom of these scandals,” he added. “But the American thing to do is to quit.” Agreeing that America was suffering from “scandal fatigue,” Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina) said, “If even one of these scandals turns out to be real, it will be bigger than the creation of the universe,” adding that he and his fellow Republican senators were prepared to take turns standing in the well of the Senate chanting the

word “scandal” until President Obama steps down. “Rand Paul has personally offered to say the word ‘scandal’ for 11 hours,” he said. On Fox News, host Sean Hannity said that the American people were weary of hearing “nothing but scandal, scandal, scandal,” noting that Fox personalities had used the word “scandal” no fewer than 30,000 times in the past four days. “The only way President Obama can bring these scandals to a satisfying resolution is by resigning from office. Otherwise, he’s subjecting the American people to the ugly spectacle of scandal upon scandal upon scandal,” he said, adding, “upon scandal.” n For more fake news from Andy Borowitz, visit

comment | energy

The Army Goes Green I by jim hightower

magine “net zero.” That’s the wonky phrase attached to an elegant idea — namely, converting communities to total renewable energy, complete recycling and a culture of conservation to bring humankind’s carbon footprint into a sustainable balance with a healthy earth. Now imagine the least likely place you’d expect this ideal to take root… and even flourish. How about an Army base? In Texas, no less! Astonishingly, America’s net zero future is being pioneered at Fort Bliss, a sprawling military base of 35,000 soldiers in El Paso. The post already has a 1.4-megawatt solar array and has placed rooftop solar panels on all base housing (generating 13.4 megawatts of energy), and it’s in partnership with El Paso Electric to add a 200-acre, 20-megawatt solar farm by 2015. It also has a plan to convert waste into energy; is engaged in wind power; geothermal and conservation projects; is promoting energy-efficient vehicles; and is building bicycle lanes. The Army! Who knew they cared?

Bliss’s rank-and-file soldiers, as well as the brass, are committed to achieving the goal of net zero by 2018, meaning the base will generate all of the energy it uses — and do it with renewables. Adding to the effort, the troops have planted nearly 15,000 trees and have become converts to recycling. To encourage the latter, the base commander, Maj. Gen. Dana Pittard, has put the million-dollar-a-year revenue from recycling into skate parks, exercise facilities and other morale-boosting recreation projects. “Everybody is getting involved,” he says, noting that the effort is changing behavior and fostering a conservation culture, which he hopes “our soldiers will then take with them when they go on.” There’s hope for the Earth when even the Army begins to care, take action and change attitudes. n For more from America’s populist, check out

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 11

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Calling for Help A frantic 911 call lands Christopher Parker in a jail cell instead of a hospital, and leads to his death BY JACOB JONES


omething inside of Christopher Parker tells him he needs help. He feels sick. His mind races. His breathing comes in gasps as he fumbles for his phone at 3:14 am outside an apartment building in Browne’s Addition. Between hysteria and hallucinations, he manages to dial 911. “Hello, this is 911,” the operator answers. “What’s going on there?” “I don’t know,” Parker says. “Where are you at?” she asks. “I don’t know.” Parker, a 33-year-old drywall contractor, says he’s lost and confused. He needs an ambulance, he says, but can’t explain where. He feels trapped. He’s seeing things, people chasing him and trying to shoot him. “I did too much meth or something,” he admits. “I

don’t know what I did. I’m scared.” Patiently, the operator coaxes answers out of him for about 20 minutes. He drops off at times, talking to himself. He swears and grunts, struggling to clear his head. “Chris,” she says, asking him to focus. “We’re trying to help you.” Parker’s desperate, early morning 911 call on Feb. 24 sets in motion a series of decisions ending in his death less than three hours later. Multiple choices, big and small, direct him through the system, away from a hospital to the Spokane County Jail, and later into cardiac arrest. A decision at 3:39 am medically approves Parker for booking into jail. A decision at about 5 am, partly due to his own struggling, gets him Tasered in jail and strapped into a restraint chair. Minutes later, miscommunication

delays an ambulance. By 5:39 am, he is dead. Assistant Spokane Fire Chief Brian Schaeffer, who reviewed the death for the fire department, says emergency responders follow certain protocols to protect people, to get them the help they need. Parker slipped through those protocols. “Probably 99 percent of the time the story ends like we would expect,” Schaeffer says. “In this case, the holes in the Swiss cheese were completely aligned.”


rom her home in De Queen, Ark., Parker’s mother, Christina Higgins, describes a “good-hearted” son, who encouraged and watched over his younger siblings. He loved children and fishing. He preferred writing letters instead of emails. Parker grew up in Spokane, working drywall jobs most of the past 10 years. Higgins says nothing was more important to Parker than his two young daughters, 9 and 12, who live with their mother in another state. She says the first thing people often noticed about Christopher was his brilliant smile. “He had perfect teeth,” she says. “My other kids did not get that. … It was such a jolly smile.” But Parker had some issues, Higgins admits. He was convicted of assault in 1998 for breaking a man’s arm. Court records outline a history of temperamental outbursts and drug use. “Christopher was not a meth addict,” she says. “He would occasionally use it.” ...continued on next page

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 13


Christopher Parker died after being strapped into a restraint chair. The incident, still under investigation, was captured on surveillance.

“CALLING FOR HELP,” CONTINUED... On Feb. 24, Spokane police officers find Parker outside the Park Terrace apartments on Fourth Avenue shortly after 3:30 am, about the same time he hangs up with the 911 operator. “We’ve got a male that’s on meth and he’s tweaking really bad,” an officer tells dispatch. His name shows an outstanding civil warrant for overdue child support payments. Officers request a medical check before making an arrest. Dispatch records show a Spokane Fire medical crew spends about nine minutes evaluating Parker. He tell them he has diabetes. Schaeffer says the crew checks heart rate, breathing and other vitals. Everything is within normal limits, so they clear him to go to jail instead of a hospital. After later reviewing the incident, Schaeffer explains ambulance crews often consider the jail an advanced level of medical care because the jail has registered nurses on staff. He says the crew believed the jail nurses could manage any unexpected issues. “We definitely could have done things better,” Schaeffer says now. “Great people providing great care can make errors. … We’re not hiding from it.” Shortly before 4 am, officers arrest Parker, loading him into a patrol car for the short drive to booking at the Spokane County Jail.


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urveillance video of the booking area shows Parker wearing a white T-shirt and dark shorts. He’s cooperative, but at times he appears restless, pacing in circles and rubbing his short-cropped hair. Several corrections deputies roam the fluorescent-lit row of holding cells. A nurse in a floral scrub top leans against the front counter. Deputies put Parker into a holding room at about 4:10 am, where he sits for about a half hour before being brought out for processing.

He seems more anxious now. He fidgets and fumbles with his jacket. When a deputy motions for Parker to return to the holding room, he hesitates. The video shows a second deputy step in behind him to escort him forward and Parker tenses up, stumbling to the floor. Deputies help him up and pull his arms behind his back. They march him down an adjacent hallway to a small, individual holding cell. His figure blurs into broken pixels as he moves away from the camera. Capt. John McGrath, commander of Detention Services, says jail staff uses the individual cells to isolate certain inmates. As they moved Parker into a cell, he started “wrestling” with deputies. The blurry video shows deputies struggling in the doorway. At some point, deputies reportedly use a Taser on Parker. A deputy brings over a restraint chair, an angled metal chair with straps across the arms and chest to hold down inmates. McGrath says jail deputies only use a Taser when verbal commands have failed. He says a Taser is used to avoid potential injuries from a physical scuffle between inmates and jail staff. Deputies strap Parker in the restraint chair shortly after 5 am. He loses consciousness moments later, and goes into cardiac arrest.


jail employee makes the first of three 911 calls for an ambulance at 5:11 am, reporting a possible drug overdose. The dispatcher asks if Parker is awake and alert, but the jail employee cannot say. He’s calling from a different room. Two nurses are with Parker. The call goes to American Medical Response for one of their private ambulance crews, according to dispatch records. It’s dispatched as non-emergency. No lights or sirens needed. The

crew takes five minutes to get on the road. After 11 minutes without an ambulance, the jail calls back a second time. The dispatcher confirms an ambulance is en route, but asks for any new medical details. “You can’t even tell me whether they were conscious and alert, or an age,” the dispatcher says sharply. “I asked you that information, you said you didn’t have it. Do you have that information now?” “Well,” the jail employee answers, “it’s an unconscious male, 30 years of age, possible O.D.” “Unconscious male makes a big difference,” she says. Video shows jail staff huddled around Parker on the floor of the hallway. Deputies hurry back and forth with medical bags and latex gloves. The AMR crew rolls in with a gurney at 5:23 am and takes over resuscitation efforts from the jail nurses and staff. After AMR arrives, the jail makes a third call asking for extra assistance from Spokane Fire medical crews. Schaeffer acknowledges emergency responders had “very vague and very limited” information on Parker’s condition. “It was very chaotic,” he says of the situation, but he argues the jail had medical personnel by Parker’s side, and it’s unlikely a quicker ambulance response would have changed the outcome. Just as fire crews pull into the jail, the AMR crew pronounces Parker dead at about 5:39 am.


he Spokane County Medical Examiner’s Office later listed the manner of Parker’s death as homicide. An autopsy concluded the primary cause of death was methamphetamine toxicity, but indicated the “physiologic effects of restraint” contributed to his demise. The Washington State Patrol has overseen the investigation into the death. Trooper Jeff Sevigney says detectives have inter-

“The investigation is fairly complex. We had a lot of witnesses. … Obviously we want to do a thorough job.” viewed all jail deputies and inmates present during the incident. “The investigation is fairly complex,” he says. “We had a lot of witnesses. … Obviously we want to do a thorough job.” Any findings will eventually get passed to the Spokane County Prosecutor’s Office for review. The prosecutor will determine whether any negligence or criminal action was involved. Parker’s family filed estate records indicating “a claim may be pursued regarding a wrongful death claim.” Attorneys for the family declined to comment, saying any statement before the State Patrol completes its investigation would be premature. Following his review of the incident, Schaeffer announced a new policy. Any patient who has ingested an unknown substance will now go to a hospital for assessment. He hopes the extra safeguard will help medical crews err on the side of the patient’s safety. Schaeffer says he has since met with jail officials to clarify what information emergency crews need on 911 calls. He has also changed department policy to send fire crews along to all medical calls at the county jail. “We’re taking the opportunity to actually improve the system,” he says. While she waits for the final word in her son’s death, Higgins holds tight to his memory. He never once missed a call on Mother’s Day, she says. His absence weighed heavily on the recent holiday. “I knew it was going to be [hard],” she says, her voice catching. “He never forgot, even if it was 11:59 pm.” She consoles herself with his old letters. She reads through his old journals and gazes fondly at a photo of him with a wide grin. “His smile,” she says. “That’s what I’ll remember.” n

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 15




The Big News of the Past Week


In tactical gear and hazmat suits, police swarmed a Browne’s Addition apartment building over the weekend as part of an investigation of ricin-laced letters sent to a Spokane post office processing facility last week. No one was arrested.


In a bad week for local law enforcement, two Spokane Police officers and one sheriff’s deputy were placed on leave for various misconduct allegations. See story on page 19.


Three other Spokane Police officers are on leave after an officer-involved shooting last week. Police say Justin Cairns, 21, shot and killed another man before he was shot by police outside his home in Nine Mile Falls.


In the continuing fight over the Spokane Tribe’s proposed casino in Airway Heights, Spokane County commissioners released a study claiming the project would hurt other nearby casinos and cost the county tax revenue. Airway Heights officials dispute the claims.


The Freeman High School marching band performs during the 2013 Armed Forces Torchlight Parade on Saturday. This year’s parade featured 204 different entrants, winding through downtown Spokane and attracting tens of thousands of spectators.


At least 24 people are dead after a massive tornado ripped through parts of Oklahoma City and its suburbs.

ON What’s Creating Buzz


7.7percent 8.7billion Spokane County’s unemployment rate in April, down from 9 percent in March, according to the Employment Security Department


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Let ’Em Vote Spokane City Council won’t sue to keep initiatives off of the fall ballot; plus, a new UW-WSU rivalry TO THE BALLOT (MAYBE)

In a rare instance where far-right Spokane City Councilman Mike Fagan found himself in agreement with Council President Ben Stuckart and liberal members Amber Waldref and Jon Snyder, the council voted 4-3 Monday to put two CITIZEN INITIATIVES on the ballot and not ask the mayor to mount a pre-election challenge against them. (The mayor could still bring a suit himself.) As conservative initiative guru Tim Eyman emphatically nodded his head in the audience, members of Envision Spokane and Spokane Moves to Amend the Constitution spoke about the importance of the initiative process and begged the council not to support a lawsuit, which could keep them off the ballot. Eyman told the council cities spend less money on post-election challenges than on preemptive ones, so they would save money by avoiding a suit. Envision’s initiative is a third try at a Community Bill of Rights, expanding neighborhood rights and environmental protections. SMAC’s initiative would outlaw private lobbying — corporations’ employees talking to city officials about legislation — and corporate contributions to local campaigns. Opponents worry the initiatives include unconstitutional limits on free speech and property rights, and say

voters have the right to know what they’re voting on is legal. Even as a vote in their favor became clear, initiative backers heard council members, all of whom oppose the measures, rail against their content. “I don’t want to take a shortcut to defeating them,” Snyder said. “I would like to see these go down at the ballot box.” — HEIDI GROOVER


For the third year in a row, Idaho ranked second to last in public school PER-STUDENT SPENDING, beating only Utah, according to a new U.S. Census Bureau report. In fiscal year 2011, Idaho spent $6,824 per student. In comparison, New York, the highest-spending state with the largest school district in the country, spent $19,076 per student, a nearly 95 percent difference. Washington also ranked in the bottom half, at No. 30, spending $9,483 per student. In a blog post, the Idaho State Department of Education argued that the Census report “doesn’t tell the whole story,” pointing out that Idaho spends about half of its

state revenues on K-12 public education. “How students perform academically should be as important, and it will then have an impact on what we do spend,” said Idaho’s Superintendent of Public Instruction Tom Luna. Calculating expenditures from all 15,345 public school systems, the Census Bureau found that total spending in 2011 was $595.1 billion, down 1.1 percent from the previous year. The national average, $10,560 per student, was down 0.4 percent. — DEANNA PAN


University of Washington, in Seattle, and Washington State University, based mainly in Pullman, have long been rivals. But in Spokane, in the field of MEDICINE, there’s been considerable cooperation between the two institutions. But this week tension flared up between WSU President Elson Floyd and UW president Michael Young over the low number of UW students choosing to enroll in the second year of UW’s medical school program on the WSU-Spokane Riverpoint campus. In an editorial meeting with the Spokesman-Review, Floyd blamed UW for the low numbers, faulting UW for initially only recruiting med students in Spokane and Pullman to take their second year in Spokane. “We want UW as a partner with us, but if they won’t, this is important enough to us that we’re going to have to plow our own way,” he said, according to the Spokesman. “I think President Floyd probably wishes he hadn’t said what he said,” Doug Nadvornick, spokesman for WSU-Spokane, told The Inlander Tuesday. “President Floyd spoke out of frustration yesterday.” Nadvornick says any possibility of WSU’s medical programs someday separating from UW would lie many years in the future. — DANIEL WALTERS


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MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 17


Reefer Rules

HOW IT WOULD WORK According to proposed marijuana rules in Washington state, here’s how people can get licensed to grow, process or sell. First,, aaree yyou ou 221? As with alcohol, oho , you y u must m be 21 before youu can can bee involved. in


fter eight public forums, months of comments and hiring an expert at more than $80,000 a year, you’re looking at the Washington State Liquor Control Board’s first pass at the rules that will govern one of the nation’s first recreational marijuana markets. They’ll take feedback at until June 10, and in July the board will hold public hearings on its official rules. (At that point, changes are unlikely.) The board expects to take applications for 30 days starting in September and begin issuing licenses by the end of the year, though it won’t say how many operations will be allowed per county. Meanwhile, Spokane City Councilman Jon Snyder is leading an effort to determine how the city will align its laws with the state’s and whether it will add any additional regulations. In light of the draft rules, Snyder says he’s especially worried that operating hours (6 am-2 am) could be disruptive on commercial lots close to residential areas. While the recreational marijuana law doesn’t mention anything about medical marijuana, legislators have discussed moving both systems under the liquor control board or taxing medical pot at the same rates to discourage illegitimate crossover. That’s still up for debate. And, of course, the biggest unanswered question remains: Will the feds allow all this? — HEIDI GROOVER






Grow or process

Be patient. It'll be early 2014 before we see pot shops. But then, with a photo ID, you'll be able to buy up to one ounce of marijuana at a state-licensed store to use in private. The state estimates it'll cost about $12 a gram before taxes.

Wait, do you have criminal history? If you had a felony fe conviction within the last 10 years or misdemeanors sd within the he last three years, you may not be eligible. (The state st will make limited im exceptions for possession of marijuana charges.) ha How long have you lived in Washington? It’s go got to be at least three months before you can apply. ap Do you want an to grow plants orr ddeal with packaging and products?


 What security and alarm systems you'll use  How you'll transport marijuana and dispose of waste  How you’ll hire/train employees  How you'll track product "from seed to sale"

PRODUCER LICENSE Submit an operating plan detailing grow operations.

PROCESSOR LICENSE Detail which products you plan to process and how they'll be labeled.



 Grow indoors  Use standardized, state-approved scales  Disclose all use of pesticides, herbicides and other products

 Use standardized, state-approved scales  Use a closed-loop THC extraction system to prevent releasing byproducts into the air  Use the state-approved logo on your label  Include health warnings and “this product is unlawful outside of Washington State”


 $250 application fee  $1,000 annual renewal  Commercial insurance costs  25 percent tax to the state anytime you sell product to another operation or individual YOU CAN'T:

 Hold all three license types

PRODUCER/PROCESSOR LICENSE A combination license type, for double the fees, would allow you to grow and package marijuana if you follow both the grower and processor rules.

Source: I-502 Initial Draft Rules from the Washington State Liquor Control Board


 What you'll sell  How it will be displayed YOU CAN:

 Sell usable marijuana, infused products, paraphernalia  Stay open from 6 am–2 am  Display one 1,600 sq. inch sign YOU CAN'T:

 Sell from another type of business, like a bar  Sell extracts alone  Let people use pot in your store  Locate within 1,000 feet of schools, daycares, parks, libraries, arcades or public transit centers LISA WAANANEN GRAPHIC/HEIDI GROOVER TEXT

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18 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013




Disorderly Conduct Three Spokane law enforcement officers are placed on leave over misconduct investigations BY JACOB JONES


n a difficult few days for local law enforcement, officials announced this past week two Spokane Police Department officers and one Spokane County Sheriff’s detective had been placed on administrative leave pending investigations into alleged misconduct. One Spokane Police officer stands accused of aggressive sexual harassment and stalking via Facebook. Authorities have not disclosed the nature of the ongoing investigation into the other Spokane Police officer. At the Sheriff’s Office, officials say a detective was put on leave after the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office launched an investigation into an alleged domestic violence assault earlier this month. Spokane police officials recently announced Officer Jeffrey Graves had been placed on leave over criminal allegations under investigation by Internal Affairs and the Spokane County Sheriff’s Office. Court records show a woman recently came forward, accusing Graves of sending her more than 100 inappropriate and unwanted Facebook messages a day. “[The woman] indicated that the contacts were aggressive and sexual in nature,” court records state, “and she began to fear Graves.” The officer allegedly showed up unannounced at her workplace multiple times, according to court records. The woman told investigators the ongoing harassment also led to a “non-consensual” sexual encounter. She reported she later deleted her Facebook account. Graves was placed on paid administrative leave on May 9, pending the outcome of the investigations. No criminal charges had been filed. In its own recent announcement, the Spokane Sheriff’s Office states Det. Dale Toliver has been ordered on leave after allegedly committing second-degree assault in Odessa, Wash. Toliver may face two counts of felony assault. “This incident will be investigated,” Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich says in a statement. “If the allegations are proven, the appropriate actions will be taken. There is no room for this type of conduct within the Spokane County Sheriff’s Office.” The most recent investigation, announced Monday, involves Spokane Police Officer Darrell Quarles, who was placed on paid leave May 7 pending an Internal Affairs investigation. Police spokeswoman Monique Cotton says Quarles has worked for the department since 2008. “We are unable to provide any information because it is an internal affairs investigation,” she says in an email. “No further information will be released.” The multiple allegations of misconduct come within days of the most recent Spokane Police officer-involved shooting, which ended in the death of a 21-year-old homicide suspect. Spokane Police Chief Frank Straub also had a bicycle stolen from his garage last week. Straub acknowledged Saturday — as he oversaw the local police response to the FBI-led ricin letter investigation search in Browne’s Addition — that he had not gotten a lot of sleep in recent days. “It’s been an interesting week,” he offered dryly. 

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Clinic Manager Dylan Dressler at the NATIVE Project health clinic, which has been hit hard by the sequester.


She’d assumed that native health care would be treated like veterans’ health care. After all, a 1985 bill contained a provision specifically limiting the damage done to Indian Health Service in the event of a sequester. She was wrong. The veterans were protected; Indians weren’t. When the full force of the sequester hit, most of the Indian Health Service was slashed a full 5 percent, amounting to $220 million. Only the Special Diabetes Program for Indians escaped the full reduction. In fact, it was worse than that: The cut was retroactive, forcing clinics across the country to make up for money already spent. This year, it’s closer to a 9 percent cut. Nationwide, tribal hospitals and native clinics have struggled to adapt. The cuts are expected to decrease a few months ago, it hurt native health clinics disproinpatient admissions by 3,000 visits and outpatient admisportionately. “We never thought it would be this high,” sions by more than 800,000. And that’s without taking Lodge says. into account the often considerable yearly increase in The cuts to native health care stand all the more stark health care costs. when compared to other health care agencies. Veterans To some, the cuts to IHS feel more than Affairs was immune to the sequester. Nonunfair — they feel like another betrayal. Ralph native community health clinics and Medicare Forquera, director of the Seattle Indian Health provider payments were partially shielded — Send comments to receiving a maximum of 2 percent cuts. Board, calls it “a rather sinister … and very disingenuous thing Congress did.” But for the Indian Health Service — which D’Shane Barnett, director of the National helps fund more than 600 tribal clinics and Council of Urban Indian Health, says: “The United hospitals across the country — the cuts were twice as bad. States is basically reneging on its duties and obligations.” More than a hundred years of treaties, laws and federaln the run-up to the sequester, as agencies warned trust responsibility mandate providing health care to and prepared for the worst, staffers at IHS weren’t as American Indians. worried. IHS director Yvette Roubideaux, according “We have pre-paid health care,” Barnett says. “That to Indian Country Today, assured everyone that “the worsthealth care was prepaid by American Indians [trading] case scenario would be a 2 percent decrease from current our rights to land and national resources.” funding levels.”

Uneven Cuts

Most elements of health care were shielded from the sequester — but not the Indian Health Service BY DANIEL WALTERS


n the TV screen at Spokane’s NATIVE Project health clinic, an animated cartoon warns the patients in the waiting room about the dangers of diabetes: just one of many maladies — along with hypertension, heart attacks, strokes, depression, alcoholism and liver diseases like cirrhosis — that hit American Indians at dramatically higher rates. This place battles those trends: Here, Indians can find medicine, drug treatment, dental care, community programs and counseling. To be clear, this clinic isn’t on a reservation, and it doesn’t just help American Indians. It’s smack-dab in the middle of West Central, where it serves one of the poorest neighborhoods in Washington state. Minorities, NATIVE Project executive director Toni Lodge says, often feel comfortable coming to this clinic, and only this clinic. And this Friday, the employees here will take their first day of furloughs. When the sequester — that intentionally clumsy budget negotiating ploy — was enacted

20 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013





n Spokane, Lodge, the NATIVE Project executive director, doesn’t want to get into specifics over how the organization will deal with the cutbacks. She’s worried about inadvertently sending a flurry of rumors that could cause some patients to think the clinic has shut down or drastically reduced hours. It won’t. Still, she confirms that employees will need to take furlough days. And that will mean less availability, and at the end of the year, fewer clients will likely be served. “We’re out there making our best professional health care judgments while we’re waiting for funding that may come in or may not come in,” Clinic Manager Dylan Dressler says. “We have to be way more diligent about what we purchase. The room for error has shrunk.” The implementation of President Obama’s health care reform looms, and the clinic anticipates an influx of patients. But resources to manage that transition are lacking. Dressler says staff members are required to be trained on new electronic medical record systems, but the funding for that training has been eliminated. “We’re going to work twice as hard, longer hours. We’re going to do more with less. Because patients have to have their appointments,” Lodge says. “There’s no reduction in the expectations. The only reduction is in funding. We’re all going to have to work one-anda half jobs to make it happen. And we are.” For now, there’s no end in sight. While a few bipartisan House legislators proposed a bill to scale back sequestration’s impact on the Indian Health Service, it hasn’t advanced out of committee. In the Senate, Washington Democrat Patty Murray, Budget Committee chair, worries about tribal members suffering from reduced medical access. But she wants to “fully replace sequestration,” not just get rid of a few problematic elements. Meanwhile, other cuts in other areas are coming. “We believe that there will be deep cuts in substance abuse treatment, and lesser cuts in mental health,” Lodge says. “Those are very important in our community. That’s our jail alternative. That’s our crime alternative.” Asked if she believes that people care about the impact of the sequester on native health, Lodge’s answer is immediate and blunt. “No,” Lodge says. “It’s been so silent.” n


Young Warriors For years, American Indian youth have been committing suicide at higher rates than any other population in the United States. But tribes are fighting back BY DEANNA PAN


an Nanamkin knows sorrow. He’s been the director of the Nespelem Community Center on the Colville Indian Reservation for the past five years, where he hosts from one to three funerals a month. Funeral rites on the reservation can go on for days, and the grief falls like a shroud over the center for even longer. At least six funerals since 2008 were for suicides, Nanamkin recalls. Some were for people he’d seen from time to time. There were younger ones whom he didn’t know very well. One was a former classmate and close friend. But the hardest one — the one he wasn’t there for — happened 10 years ago when he lost his brother to suicide. Nevertheless, during a recent May weekend, spirits are high at the community center. More than 20 kids have spent the past day and a half playing sports, building a teepee and dancing with neon glow sticks in the dark. It’s the first Youth Warrior Camp on the reservation, funded by a tribal health grant for anti-bullying and suicide prevention activities. The goal, Nanamkin says, is to show kids a good time and build their self-confidence by inspiring them with their culture. “As Natives, you’re taught ‘don’t cry.’ You got to be strong, you got to be tough, you can’t show weakness,” Nanamkin says. “Our mentors show them they care, love them and are here to talk with them, and show them that it’s OK if you’re hurting.” Earlier this month, the state health department released statistics showing the rate of suicide among young adult and adolescent American Indians is 2.5 times higher than the average for kids in the same age group. Tribes across the country have made suicide — the second leading cause of death among young Indians — a priority by utilizing grants and training aimed at combating the problem. But money is tight. And as sequestration scrambles budgets, experts worry that fighting suicide may be an uphill battle.


n a Sunday morning, Nanamkin beats a buffalo-hide drum while singing traditional songs. Surrounded by kids, he’s a giant at 5-foot-10. Stocky with a gentle face and broad smile, he wears his graying black hair in a long ponytail down his back. Passing his culture on to the next generation of American Indians is his calling. He wants to show kids they can live in a “good way” with a “good heart.” But that’s not always easy on the reservation. Desolation, high unemployment and poverty are commonplace, Nanamkin says. Despair breeds substance and alcohol abuse. Researchers say many Indians suffer from multi-generational trauma, resulting from a centuries-long history of physical, emotional, social and spiritual abuse from colonialist policies. “You have to remember these are a people who have had a lifestyle and culture for thousands of years, and just within the last 100, their lifestyles and cultures have been pulled away,” says LaRee White, a mental health therapist on the Spokane Reservation in Wellpinit. “It’s trauma after trauma after trauma, and it’s just been passed through the generations.”


t the NATIVE Project health clinic in West Central, providers screen every new patient for depression. Executive director Toni Lodge says it’s the No. 1 reason for visits at her medical clinic. But in Spokane County, the vast majority of American Indians aren’t killing themselves. Between 2005 and 2011, the rate of suicide among American Indians and Alaskan natives was literally too low for Health District officials to publicly report; in that six-year

Youth Warrior Camp on the Colville Indian Reservation. DEANNA PAN PHOTO period, fewer than five committed suicide. That’s in part because Spokane has hospitals, mental health providers, drug and alcohol rehabilitation centers,and counselors who are on call 24/7 to help people in crisis. Of course, huge disparities exist in different neighborhoods. “It’s just about where you live,” says Lodge. “And what resources are available.” Two hours north, through forested highlands, resources are sparse in Nespelem. Four health centers serve roughly 5,000 people living on the 1.4 million-acre Colville reservation. Andy Joseph Jr., a Colville tribal councilman, says each of the facilities are staffed with one or two psychologists. There are no psychiatrists on the reservation, and no halfway houses or treatment centers for people who need long-term intensive care. In 2006, Colville tribal leaders, alarmed by a wave of youth suicides on the reservation, declared a state of emergency and asked a federal team of health officers to step in. An exit report stated, Joseph says, that “for a tribe our size, we’re only receiving one-third of what we should be receiving for alcohol and mental health providers.” But Indian Health Services, the federal program that funds tribal health care, never granted the tribe the additional dollars they needed to hire more providers, as the report recommended. “IHS has been funded at always less than half of what it really should be,” Joseph says. During the national budget review earlier this year, tribal leaders requested a need-based budget of $27.6 billion to fully fund all Indian health programs over the next 12 years. But the Obama administration rejected the tribes’ proposal. “Right around $5.1 billion is what we got,” he says. “So they divide that among the 566 tribes that are out there.”


girl down my street hung herself,” says Malerie as she pulls apart a slab of pepperoni pizza. She’s 11. At Youth Warrior Camp, Malerie is the wispy girl in orange with the words “THE BEAST” in red fading on her cheeks. She says her mom committed suicide too, seven years ago. “She just didn’t like it in life.” Before lunch on Sunday, the counselors corral more than 20 children in a circle under the teepee. Girls on the left, boys on the right. Nanamkin, the center’s director, says a prayer in the indigenous language Nsyilxcen, and one by one, the kids sound off on their favorite parts about camp. (Basketball! Dancing! The food!) A counselor asks what it means to be a young warrior. Malerie raises her hand, but doesn’t wait to be called on. “A warrior is someone who is strong,” she says. “And doesn’t give up.” n

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 21

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s the deadline to file for November’s local elections passed quietly Friday, each of the three Spokane City Council seats up for grabs attracted a fight, and one had already garnered more than $50,000. For the seat being vacated by Nancy McLaughlin because of term limits, two polished politicians are campaigning with support from often-opposing local powers: Candace Mumm is supported by City Council President Ben Stuckart, and Michael Cannon, who was on Mayor David Condon’s transition team, has received a $500 contribution from the mayor. Mumm and Cannon each have raised more than $20,000. Stuckart has clashed with the mayor and more conservative council members, including McLaughlin, over pay increases for city management, vacancies in the police and fire departments and other city budget cuts. This year’s elections have the potential to solidify the council’s conservative majority or tip the scales toward Stuckart’s more liberal bent. Mumm, a former TV journalist and president of the city’s Plan Commission from 1999 to 2009, owns a property management company. Over a half-caffeinated Americano, she says she’s focused on road and sidewalk improvements,

fire response times and economic development in neighborhoods like Garland and Monroe. Mumm says support from businesses and the local firefighters’ union show she’s independent and can “get past some of this partisanship.” Cannon is chair of Spokane’s Housing and Human Services Board, which allocates money to some neighborhoods and social programs that help low-income or homeless people. He says the issues facing his district are indicative of the whole city: bad streets, the need for more cops and “spending money wisely.” “There are still some concerns over the value of what we invest in in general,” he says of public safety spending. “I’m a big advocate for increased resources, but with the idea of spending money wisely.” Also interested in the seat, which represents northwest Spokane, from the river north, west of Division, are West Central activist Kelly Cruz and former Spokane County Republican Chair Curtis Fackler. Cruz, who’s quiet but straightforward, grabbed attention last year when he controversially supported West Central being an alcohol impact area, which prohibited the sale of highalcohol beers there. Cruz argued the distinction

kept the neighborhood safer and helped keep alcoholics and drug addicts from drinks that could harm them and cost the city money for emergency response. Cruz lost that fight, but says he hopes a seat on the council could give him a pulpit to advocate for poorer and less represented areas of town like West Central. A fiscal conservative, Fackler is focused on issues he can push — but not necessarily govern — from a council seat. He wants police guild negotiations to be public, to remove libraries from the city’s budget and for the state to stop charging sales tax when agencies like public schools buy things, in order to increase the money they have to spend. Lawmakers can find a way to fill the the resulting hole in state revenue, he says. “You fight the battle where you can,” he says. In District 1, covering Hillyard and northeast Spokane, pastor and real estate broker Mark Hamilton filed to run against incumbent Amber Waldref and his campaign signs already speckle the district. He’s raised $8,000 (compared to Waldref’s nearly $20,000) with support from Spokane City Councilman Steve Salvatori. Hamilton says he opposes the council spending time on votes on social issues that aren’t within city power, and thinks they need to focus more on “fiscal responsibility.” He worries Waldref is focused too narrowly on her neighborhood instead of the whole district or city. “You can’t help but like Amber,” he says. “She’s a nice girl, but I believe that her leadership is misguided.”

“I’m a big advocate for increased resources, but with the idea of spending money wisely.” Hamilton wants to promote incentive programs — like breaks on permitting costs — to attract more business to Spokane. Tax revenue from more business, he says, can pay for more cops and a citywide program that would reduce domestic violence by sending counselors with police on those calls. But first he’ll have to overcome doubts about whether he actually lives in the district he wants to govern. A lawsuit filed by two district residents Tuesday challenges his residency, and local media have reported the house he owns in the district is dilapidated and uninhabitable, without furniture or basic fixtures. Enraged by the coverage, Hamilton says he is remodeling the house and will move back in within “a matter of days.” Hamilton says he bought the $20,000 house at 217 E. Pacific last June specifically to run for City Council in the district and has put $40,000 into it since. “I took a home that … could have been torn down but had great bones, and I made it worth five times the investment,” he says, “and that’s how I’ll treat the city.” District 2 Councilman Jon Snyder faces a challenge from former state Rep. John Ahern, a Republican who served in Olympia for a decade before returning to Spokane because of his wife’s health problems. Over coffee at a South Hill diner, Ahern struggled to point out anything specific about Snyder that has dissatisfied him, but says he would focus his term on cutting taxes and regulations. He says he’d convene a group of business representatives to determine which regulations to target. LaVerne Biel, a 30-year Perry District resident who co-owns a company that installs business telephones and data networking systems, says she’s in the race to bring a broader perspective than Snyder. She says he’s focused on specific issues like bike lanes when he should be focused more broadly on issues like pedestrian safety. “I see it as probably taking a broader brush stroke on citizen issues,” she says. 

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Artist to Artist My 27-year creative friendship with Spokane’s Daniel Boatsman By Joel Heng Hartse


’m more familiar with Daniel Boatsman’s artwork than anyone else in the world. That is not a stretch. Yes, I missed the opening of his show at the Bozzi Collection, which he also runs as gallery manager, at the beginning of May. But I’ve seen every piece of art he’s created since he was 5 years old. I met Boatsman in 1986, on my first day of kindergarten in Spokane. I had started the school year late, and the teacher asked him to show me around because we had both come in with advanced reading levels — nerds, basically. Our ensuing 27-year friendship isn’t that remarkable for the creative output that sprung from it — what’s remarkable is how little we realize the truth that art and creativity are usually the product of spending time with people who are willing to run with your weird ideas. “I always think it kind of goes back to when you and I would write goofy comics and things, goofy drawings,” Boatsman says when I ask him about his distinctive style. His current paintings blend comic-book...continued on next page

Daniel Boatsman with his work at the Bozzi Collection. young kwak photo

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 25

culture | essay

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Daniel Boatsman’s “Vans Drive South”

“artist to artist,” continued... style lettering with short-story narrative. Daniel and I spent hours and hours drawing cartoons, reading comics, starting terrible bands, designing hypothetical video games. Like a number of media-saturated Spokane kids in the ’90s, we wanted to be rock stars, writers, artists. We both left Spokane with creative grandeur in our heads. I started a mediocre band, Daniel wrote an unfinished novel. “I was writing these weird, dark vignettes, and those ended up being some of the drive to make these paintings,” he said of his eventual abandonment of the book. “What I do now is kind of short-form storytelling on canvas; writing and painting something lyrical.” While the narratives usually describe paranoid, tense moments, Boatsman doesn’t see his work as overly somber, but rather playful. “Even if it’s a dark painting, I really don’t take myself seriously. I’ve always liked composition notebooks filled with gibberish. I’m just being creative and playing. It’s important to keep that kind of spark,” he says. That childlike creativity that most young friendships are founded on can, if you let it, lead you to some interesting places: I ended up in Canada somehow, teaching and writing, falling into a book deal that allowed me to write about coming of age at rock shows in Spokane’s church

basements. Daniel ended up moving, almost on a whim, to the art-saturated city of Santa Fe, New Mexico, where he found himself working in the high-profile Turner Carroll gallery, selling pieces by art stars like Chuck Close. The birth of his first child drew him back to Spokane, where he connected with some artist friends, leading him first to work at Studio 66, and then take over managing the Bozzi Collection, bringing with him a vision for a high-end gallery like those he’d worked at in Santa Fe. “ ‘Spokane really needs something like this’ — I keep hearing that,” he says. “There are a lot of great artists and art appreciators here. This is a great space, and it’s getting better and better.” He was talking about the gallery, but the same could be said of Spokane. Growing up, we were always so focused on the stuff that came from outside, it was easy to forget the creative world surrounding us: the garbage goat, the high school Battle of the Bands in Riverfront Park, the summer music camps and art lessons — real culture is made here, not some imagined, big-city there. Now rooted in Spokane again, my friend Daniel is proving that. n Daniel Boatsman’s work is now showing at The Bozzi Collection • 221 N. Wall St., Ste. 226 • • 290-5604


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he final four episodes of Fox’s Arrested Development aired in one two-hour set back in 2006 during the opening of the Winter Olympics. Throughout its run, AD failed to grab a solid audience. It didn’t help that each episode featured an ongoing story line, making it nearly impossible for people to jump into the series and appreciate the show’s hilarity. The ratings dwindled quickly and Fox axed it after three seasons. Few had watched it, nobody would miss it and the world would move forward, network executives figured. But that wasn’t the case. In fact, Arrested Development was more popular after its cancellation than it ever was during its three-year run. DVD box sets of its complete seasons allowed the show to be watched the way it was supposed to be — in binges. Hours upon hours of AD helped viewers understand the jokes and follow the evolution of its running bits. G.O.B.’s infamous chicken dance progressed to the even more hilarious dances of the rest of the Bluth gang, and Tobias’ attempt to be a member of the Blue Man Group led to the model home being covered in blue handprints. These comedic gems could only be appreciated in the years following the series’ end. With the introduction of memes, GIFs and online viewing capabilities, the show’s excellent writing, solid acting and utter brilliance could finally be valued. Word of mouth helped the fanbase grow explosively. With AD becoming a fixture on Hulu and a

The start of Spokane’s Summer! A benefit event for Coeur d’Alene Park, In Spokane’s Browne’s Addition

May 31- June 2 You’re going to get some hop-ons. staple on Netflix Instant Queue, it became easy for new super-fans to be born. Then last year, Netflix attached its name to the renewal of a fourth season. On May 26, Arrested Development will be born again, reportedly followed by a feature-length film with an unknown release date — a victory for nevernudes everywhere. — KARA STERMER

Friday, May 31 Noon-8pm Saturday, June 1 10am-8pm Sunday, June 2 10am-5pm MUSIC, BEER/WINE TENT Until 10pm Fri & Sat! nga, Great music by Floating Crowbar, Milo cats, Pole e andl Panh o, umb Mighty Squirrel, BigM ! more and ietor Prop Sole

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List of visting artists and their work at g northwestmuseum.or POETRY | It’s still true, even in these times of newspaper cuts, that The New York Times publishes a short novel’s worth of sentences every day. From those words comes TIMES HAIKU, a “serendipitous poetry” project from Times senior software architect Jacob Harris. (He is also the creator of @nytimes_ebooks, an algorithmic delight for anyone who’s aware of Internet spam phenomenon @Horse_ebooks.) A computer program scans news articles for sentences that fall into the five-seven-five pattern of syllables, then humans select the poetic gems that transform ordinary sentences into something more profound.

BEER | Summer is upon us, finally — it’s time for short sleeves, sunglasses and sitting outside with a cold drink. And even better if that drink is a pint of NO-LI’S MOSAIC, a spring seasonal single-hop pale ale that started showing up on tap lists around town about the same time I brought out all my sundresses from the back of the closet. Brewed with versatile Mosaic hops from the Yakima Valley, it’s both flavorful and refreshing. It’s hard to argue with the rest of No-Li’s lineup, but this one stands out as the perfect go-to patio beer.

WEBSITE | Cherry Cola Salad, Chicken Kiev, Rhubarb Upside Down Cake: If we are what we eat, then our nation’s truest history is recorded on decades of handwritten recipe cards. YESTERDISH is an online collection of these cards, rescued from estate sales and trash heaps, and scanned as both instruction and artifact. The curator, who works as a First Amendment attorney by day, helpfully interprets the handwritten recipes with entertaining historical notes to explain how, for example, German chocolate cake got its name not from the country but from an English immigrant named Mr. German who invented a type of chocolate.

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Melissa Cole in front of her “River Dance,” now on display at the JACC.

Connecting the Dots

Melissa Cole has been around the world, and so has her artwork BY CARRIE SCOZZARO


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28 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013

ne envisions pushpins on Melissa Cole’s map. London, Hong Kong, India and the western United States. She’s lived in these places. Then there’s Australia, South Africa, Galapagos, Indonesia — just a few spots she’s visited. Zooming in a bit... Florida, California, Alaska, Oregon, Washington, and Idaho, where her artwork is regularly exhibited. Closer still... Lewiston and Post Falls, two Idaho locations where the artist is simultaneously working on a large-scale outdoor installation and an exhibition accompanied by a small-scale installation. You might say she’s all over the place. “I just love traveling to see how different cultures live and to be able to observe animals in their natural habitat,” says Cole, who has a degree in zoology and marine ecology from Oregon State University. It was while working as a naturalist guide in Baja, Mexico, that Cole met her husband Brandon, a renowned wildlife and underwater photographer to whom she’s been married 17 years. She mistook him for a game fisherman, then discovered his ice chest was a ruse to foil would-be thieves; his real mission was photographing whales. The pair teamed up on children’s books that pair his photography and her writing, with titles like Wild Marine Habitats - Tide Pools and The Manatee. She went on to write 30 books in three years. Nature. Culture. Travel. Everything’s connected in Melissa Cole’s world, revealing itself in glorious patterns and surfaces. “I’ve always been attracted to patterns,” says Cole, who revisited India with her mother Marilyn Singh in 2008, a trip that resulted in their joint Tinman Gallery exhibition. “As we walked around,” Cole remembers, “I saw all of ‘my’ colors and patterns come to life in the textiles, painted on the buses, the bullock carts, on the buildings ... it was eye-opening.” Her mother, whose realistic paintings can be viewed at Portland’s Attic Gallery, came from an artistic family and always encouraged Melissa to make art, but it wasn’t until 1998 that Cole

committed to painting. At the time, Cole was interested in aboriginal paintings, yet didn’t want to mimic the indigenous style. She turned to patterns found in nature like fish scales and feathers. “Creating patterns with dots and dashes is very meditative, and I find it adds interesting dimension and movement to a painting,” she says. Although she started with watercolor, she switched to acrylic, which allowed her to create her own “frame” through an intricately painted border. “After visiting the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam,” she says, “I became enthralled with texture and have gradually added more until [my paintings] have almost become sculptural.” Cole has done numerous private and public commissions in paint, mosaic, murals and other media — at least 50 in 1998 alone — including for Seattle’s aquarium and Lewiston’s Fifth Street pedestrian bridge. Scheduled for early June completion, the bridge features a 100-foot mosaic snake, not unlike the 23-foot anaconda Cole encountered in Brazil last year. Other wildlife pieces include bears, birds, moose, otters and fish, especially salmon, like those in “River Dance” inside Spokane’s Convention Center. Cole’s new exhibition at the Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center also features salmon in a custom mosaic. Entitled “Onward and Upward” and sponsored by the Coeur d’Alene Tribe, the permanent artwork will feature a Kokanee salmon. The piece is meant to honor JACC founder and avid fisherwoman Susan Jacklin. “I like trying to incorporate little bits of nature into the urban landscape,” says Cole, who would like to see more murals and public art in Spokane, especially if it involved the community. “Working with groups is great; there is something amazing and meaningful that happens when people work together to create art.” n Melissa Cole • Through July 5 • Artist reception Fri, May 17, 5-7 pm • Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center • 405 N. William St., Post Falls • • (208) 457-8950


ool of Sprink

s le

We ate doughnuts every morning for a week and here’s what we learned


he idea seemed simple at first: eat doughnuts from a different bakery every morning for a week and see if we could find some of the best morning snacks our region had to offer. Here’s the thing, though. Eating doughnuts — and several different doughnuts, at that — every morning will make you hate doughnuts. And yourself. After the third morning of what became known as the Chubby McPudge Memorial Doughnut Jamboree™, the smell of sugar hung heavy in our editorial department as a chosen staffer would dutifully cut up a dozen doughnuts into bite-size pieces and place scorecards next to each sample. Those samples added up to more than you think. By the time we’d made a lap around the tasting table,

sugar highs were apparent, but soon that sweet rush gave way to self-pity and skipped lunches. We learned that the Inland Northwest knows how to make a good doughnut. We also learned several other things, which we shall list here in no particular order. (MIKE BOOKEY)


Loyal fans of old-fashioned doughnuts are appropriately wary of change. A light glaze, perhaps, with a mug of black coffee on the side — why mess with perfect simplicity? Who could ever require more than the contrast of expertly dense cakiness and crispy ridges? Well, it turns out the less traditional maple-glazed and cinnamon-sugar old-fashioneds from Rosauers earned the consistently highest

praise around our table. Purists who prefer to stick with the lightest of glaze will find satisfaction at Donut Parade (2152 N. Hamilton St.), where the lightly glazed version is rich and not too sweet, and the version from Donut Dugout (1602 E. Seltice Way, Post Falls) also got high marks for just the right amount of glaze. (LISA WAANANEN)


You can tell our office is a bunch of pansies when we’re trying to split invisible hairs over which doughnut is healthier. The presence of apples in a doughnut — no matter how much sugar it was shellacked with or what sort of viscous goo it was suspended in — doesn’t make it

healthier. But the notion that it was made us order three different apple-flavored dougnuts from Mike’s Old Fashioned Donuts (11413 E. Sprague Ave.): the apple fritter, the apple-filled and the justout-of-the-oven apple Persians. Of the three, we were all scrambling for bites of the apple-filled doughnut, which tasted less like a doughnut than a slice of Dutch apple pie. “I could eat this doughnut every day for the rest of my life,” one taster observed. It seemed that the simple fact that we felt less fat and horrible after eating apple doughnuts seemed to boost their overall scores, even though we still knew that, in the end, apple doughnuts are really just fruit-filled diabetes cakes. (LEAH SOTTILE) ...continued on next page

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 29


Plan Your Tee Time.

“school of sprinkles,” continued...


Weaving your way through the fluorescent-lit aisles of canned goods and frozen pizzas isn’t exactly the most charming setting for procuring doughnuts. But there’s no need to write off the grocery store bakery selection entirely — a number of the doughnuts we sampled from local grocery chains held their own, and it’s hard to complain about paying less than $7 for a dozen. The cinnamon twist from Yoke’s Fresh Market was praised for being soft and sweet, and Rosauers made a strong showing across all the essential categories, from the maple bar to the chocolateglazed with sprinkles. (LW)


To be quite honest, we ate some jelly doughnuts during the week that tasted like they were filled with cough syrup. And I don’t mean that in a novelty purple drank/sizzurp kind of way. I mean that they tasted gross. Despite our collective sweet tooths (sweet teeth?), too-sweet jelly was often too much for Team Donut, even if the surrounding pastry was awesome. Many jelly doughnuts were described as “sweet overload.” Others had the tendency to unwelcomingly spray jelly all over tasters’ faces — and no one enjoyed that. However, Rosauers’ sturdy jelly turnover fared best in this category, nailing the engineering of the jelly doughnut correctly. The filling wasn’t too sweet, and the fluffy doughnut structure was the perfect containment unit for the jelly. (LS)


Spokane’s doughnut scene may have a lot of ground to cover before it reaches the level of epic-ness that Portland’s famous Voodoo Donuts is known for. The good news? The Lilac City’s doughnut offerings are already well on the way to greatness, especially considering the following lineup, starting with a Voodooinspired bacon maple bar from Mike’s Old Fashioned Donuts. Maple and bacon aside, there are many other funky doughnut concoctions out there worth a taste. Case in point is the peanut

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butter and jelly doughnut from Scrumdiddlyumptious Donuts (1201 Barker St., Greenacres). This unusual creation scored points for creativity both in the balance of peanut butter and jelly between two puffy pieces of dough, and for not being overly sweet. If peanut butter is your weakness, definitely make it a point to check out Donut Dugout’s peanut butter chocolate creation, a fluffy triangle of dough stuffed inside with tons of creamy peanut butter. (CHEY SCOTT)


Whereas blueberries by themselves offer a healthy dose of antioxidants, a blueberry doughnut is a damn good excuse to indulge in a sweet, deepfried hunk of dough and feel slightly less guilty about it. One of the standout blueberryladen treats came in the form of Scrumdiddlyumptious’ blueberry fritter, which gives just about any blueberry muffin a run for its money. This fritter offered a perfect blend of crunch, yet was sweet and moist, one Inlander doughnut critic noted. Rosauers’ blueberry cake doughnut offers a smaller-sized portion of mouthwatering sweetness, with a light drizzling of glaze and a soft, fluffy inside. (CS)


Do not, under any circumstances, bring a box of doughnuts to your place of employment or family gathering without including maple bars in the mix. You’re likely to get your face smashed in for doing something like that. During the Jamboree, maple bars were both the most sought-after and debated doughnut we encountered. The highest rated confection of the week was a maple bar from Donut Parade, but places like Yoke’s and Mike’s Old Fashioned came in close on its heels with slightly different takes. Our tasters favored the classic maple bars, giving high marks to the standard sweet-maple-frosting-atop-a-fluffy-rectangle approach. (MB)


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Doughnuts are great. No one is disputing that. But after tasting more than 50 different doughnuts over a five-day span, it was difficult to look ourselves in the mirror and not feel a little bad for what we’d done to our bodies. Doughnuts once a week are an excellent treat. Doughnuts every day is a death sentence. If the weight gain doesn’t get you, the sugar crash will put you on the ropes by 11 am. Doughnuts are the reason at least one of our staffers swore he could smell maple in his sweat by Friday of our experiment. You’ve been warned. (MB) n

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SooJi Shin, left, and her mother, Sophia Lee, roll sushi at Kinja. Jennifer DeBarros photo

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32 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013

By Jo Miller


ooji Shin says her father, Eddie Lee, has worked with fish for 25 years, first in their family’s hometown of Busan, South Korea, and then stateside in California and Las Vegas. Now he creates sushi in his Japanese and Korean restaurant, Kinja, tucked in the corner of the Dollar Tree shopping center on North Division Street. Shin helps her parents with the family-run business and is learning how to make sushi herself. “I wasn’t good the first time,” Shin says, adding that it’s hard to make the shape because it has to come out pretty. Her family moved to Spokane and opened Kinja a few months ago after running a restaurant of the same name in Tacoma for four years. Shin says Koreans made up much of their customer base in Tacoma, but here in Spokane, the clientele has been mostly Americans, many of them still figuring out the sushi game. “A lot of customers come in, but they don’t know how to eat sushi,” she says. “But I just want them to enjoy it.” She recommends the Jane Roll to diners who aren’t regular sushi eaters, and she says they usually like it and even come back for more.

The Jane Roll — shrimp tempura and crab topped with spicy tuna, sauce and crunch — is one among many of the items on the conveyor belt that rolls plates of sushi, fried seafood and desserts ($1.50-$4.50) around the seating area. Shin says the belt provides a good opportunity to get sushi to people, but no one is ever forced to eat sushi because there are a variety of other foods — fried or cooked — on the belt or the regular menu. The meat lover can order the teriyaki beef, which Shin says is her mom’s (Sophia Lee) specialty, or spicy pork and chicken. A bento box (a $10 Japanese lunch box) comes with a choice of meat along with rice, salad and a side option such as gyoza (pot stickers). Vegetable dishes are also available for vegetarians. Right now the bulk of the cuisine is Japanese, but Shin says the Korean menu will grow in the near future. And their liquor license was approved a couple weeks ago, so now you can sip some sake, beer or wine with your sushi. n Kinja Japanese and Korean Restaurant • 7458 N. Division St. • Mon-Sat 11 am-9 pm • 4749276


The Wreck is one of the Blue Spark’s new sandwiches. jacob jones photo

The Blue Spark

15 S. Howard St. | 838-5787


he Blue Spark still has all the requisites of a late-night hangout — the trivia, the live music, the late-night finger food and neon signs. But the downtown bar is now opening its doors at noon for the weekday lunch crowd, with new menu of hearty deli sandwiches served both hot and cold. It’s all part of a new emphasis on flavor and quality, says food and beverage manager Avont Grant. Try a specialty option like The Wreck ($8), which is piled outrageously high with pepperoni, pit ham and turkey, and wash it down with one of the bar’s extensive selection of local beers. “We’ve always carried good beer, but we wanted to focus on Northwest beer,” Grant says. The front eight taps are reserved for brews made right here in Spokane and — aside from a couple of non-local staples like PBR and Guinness — every beer on the frequently rotating tap list is from the region. — LISA WAANANEN


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Faster and Furious-er The meathead franchise turns out a surprising hit By Ed Symkus


ou can have a great time getting caught up in the outrageous action of the sixth entry in this series without having seen any of the previous films. But you wouldn’t understand the nuances of the characters, you wouldn’t get why they all keep talking about the importance of family, and you wouldn’t really know who you’re supposed to be rooting for, or why. But you can still have a great time. F&F6 opens with a car race along a twisting sea mountain road in Spain, jumps to Moscow where the FBI is dealing with the case of a stolen satellite component, then shifts to London for some intrigue. The film has gone all Bondian in plotting and locales, even before the story starts.

34 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013

That story brings back most of career criminal Dom Toretto’s (Vin Diesel) cohorts — an interracial gaggle of car-centric folks in which the women are as tough as the men — as well as the FBI agent (Dwayne Johnson) who was chasing them down in the previous installment but now needs their expertise. F&F aficionados will recall that Dom’s woman Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) was killed a couple of films back. Naw, she was just injured ... and has amnesia ... and is now a member of vicious bad guy — and satellite component stealer — Shaw’s (Luke Evans) team. So it becomes a tale of cops working with criminals to go after villains, with a computer chip and a former flame at the center,

We go fast. and all kinds of crazy vehicles zipping all around them. Diesel remains wooden and bland in the lead, with series regular Paul Walker, as former cop Brian O’Conner, again following Diesel’s lead by showing no expression. Some sections of the film get a little too talky, while others feature goofy dialogue that makes you wish the humor was a little more clever, a little less pat. But suddenly there’s a dizzying nighttime race through the streets of London (during which director Justin Lin inserts a two-second shot of a young Asian kid watching, wide-eyed, from a bus, exactly as he FAST & FURIOUS 6 did in Fast Five). By the Directed by Justin Lin final reel, the film reaches Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez a level of action that hadn’t been approached in what’s always been an action-packed series. If you’re among those viewers who jump up and leave the second the end credits roll, you’ll miss the blatant reference to what’s already been titled Fast & Furious 7, including a line of dialogue from that film’s villain, who won’t be named here. If you like to plan ahead, get out your calendars. That film opens on July 11, 2014. n

film | shorts

opening films AT ANY PRICE

A father fallen on hard times (Dennis Quaid) is just trying to make ends meet for his family. Zac Effron, brat kid (with stunted emotional growth or something), is rebelling at every moment. But the bonds of family will be tested when the father-son duo must face the big bad world together. Guaranteed to tug at the ol’ heartstrings and bring back memories of broken childhoods, where love and affection mend the space between Daddio and Junior. At Magic Lantern (SM) Rated R


It’s that time of the year when the garden patch of children’s summer movies begins to ripen for the picking — in 3D! You can brace yourself for a lot of tomfoolery, some wholesome family messaging and approximately three hundred dire situations in which quirky characters must work together to save the world. This time around, a teen falls into a mystical forest world where a battle between good and evil will decide the fate of the entire freaking universe. All bets are on, but we can assume that good’s going to win out with this one. (SM) Rated PG


But who’s counting? The wildly successful film series about a team of men and women who love to drive fancy cars really fast and, oh, yeah, steal lots of money, takes on a Bondian feeling when FBI agent (the Rock) asks for their help in tracking down a stolen computer chip and the bad guys who took it. This entry also gives team leader Vin Diesel a second chance with Michelle Rodriguez, the love of his life who was “killed” a couple of films back. The action isn’t quite nonstop, as there’s some quiet talk and goofy banter. But when that action roars back, it’s breathtakingly exhausting. (ES) Rated PG-13


We loved the first Hangover  for the quirky adventures in Las Vegas. We sort of loved the sequel, Hangover Part 2, for the missing ears and jaunt through missing appendages and face tattoos. What sort of shenanigans is the gang going to get into this time in the third installment of the Hangover jamboree? There’s

Hangover 3

no wedding, and therefore no bachelor’s party, so there’s no saying what’s going to go down. All we know for sure is that there’s a journey to a mental hospital, a kidnapping, and the Wolfpack is back in action. (SM) Rated R


Some guys get sneaky and play video games behind their family’s back. Some hide a drug and drinking habit. But Richard Kuklinski hid the biggest secret of all — he operated as a contract killer until his arrest in the ’80s. Biggest kick? His wife and daughter didn’t know about his penchant for sneaking out in the night and mercilessly murdering hundreds of people for the mob. Based on a real life story with real life people, take a theatrical sneak peak into the life of one of the sneakiest and also deadliest dudes in the killing business. At Magic Lantern (SM) Rated R


Drinking and turning over a new leaf in life never really mesh well. On one hand, you have alcoholic regret. On the other hand, you have responsibility and being an adult. But Robbie, one criminal son-of-a-gun, is bound to make both these things work in tandem. Narrowly escaping jail, he visits a whiskey distillery and sees economic and fiscal opportunity spelled across the sky. He and some parole buddies might spend the next 20 years in a half-drunken stupor with this new career direction… or, they’ll band together and make something of themselves. At Magic Lantern (SM) Not Rated

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A circus performer/motorcycle badass/ thief/new father (Ryan Gosling) turns to robbing banks to support his brand new baby son and chip-off-her-shoulder lover. A rookie, idealist cop (Bradley Cooper), complete with hopes and dreams, tries to stop the robberies in an attempt to move up the ranks in a corrupt police department. Who is right? Who is wrong? Does the love for your family, or rather, the love of the law win out in the end? Watch the 15-year-long journey of two people as their stories entangle, altering their lives in heavy ways. (SM) Rated R

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 35



INCREDIBLE NEW SCREEN & SURROUND SOUND! Adv. Tix on Sale AFTER EARTH FAST & FURIOUS 6 [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1145 1230 300 345) 630 700 930 1015 EPIC IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1215 245) 515 745 1015 EPIC [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1130 200) 430 715 945 THE HANGOVER 3 [CC,DV] (R) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1200 1245 230 310) 500 535 730 800 1000 1030


STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1255 240 355) 725 950 1025

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THE GREAT GATSBY IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1115 AM) THE GREAT GATSBY [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(225 PM) 615 PM 925 PM IRON MAN 3 IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1240 350) 720 1020 IRON MAN 3 [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1155 305) 620 920


Adv. Tix on Sale AFTER EARTH FAST & FURIOUS 6 [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1200 1215 320 350) 645 715 1000 1020 THE HANGOVER 3 [CC,DV] (R) ★ Fri. - Sun.(100 130) 415 430 700 730 945 1015

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EPIC IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1245 355) 715 1000 EPIC [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1100 1230 345) 705 945 STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1100 1130 300 330) 615 935 STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(125 245) 430 640 745 950 THE GREAT GATSBY [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(230 PM) 600 PM 930 PM THE GREAT GATSBY IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1115 AM) IRON MAN 3 [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1145 250) 605 940 IRON MAN 3 IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.625 PM 955 PM THE CROODS [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1100 AM 1140 AM)

Adv. Tix on Sale AFTER EARTH EPIC IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1130 200) 445 800 STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1215 300 345) 700 1015 1025 IRON MAN 3 IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1200 PM) 720 PM THE GREAT GATSBY IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1115 AM) Big Screen: FAST & FURIOUS 6 [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1140 330) 705 1010 FAST & FURIOUS 6 [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1110 305) 640 950 Big Screen: THE HANGOVER 3 [CC,DV] (R) ★ Fri. - Sun.730 PM 1020 PM Big Screen: EPIC [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1100 AM 145 PM) 430 PM EPIC [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.630 PM 915 PM THE HANGOVER 3 [CC,DV] (R) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1100 1145) 400 635 655 910 935 STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1125 1155 315) 615 645 955 IRON MAN 3 [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1135 245 255) 650 925 1000 MUD (PG-13)



36 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013

Fri. - Sun.(1210 320) 630 930

THE GREAT GATSBY [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(250 PM) 625 PM 940 PM THE CROODS [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1105 AM 130 PM) Times For 05/24 - 05/26


A class act all the way, this sports bio tells the story of Brooklyn Dodgers second baseman Jackie Robinson (Chadwick Boseman), who wore the number 42 and was the first black player to make it into the majors. His achievement was helped along by Dodgers GM Branch Rickey (Harrison Ford), who braved the ire of fans and players alike to get rid of that race line. The film concentrates on Robinson’s life in the mid-to-late 1940s, even though there are tales aplenty of earlier exploits that would also make a great film. The athletic Boseman adds a genial intensity to the role, and Ford gets his meatiest and crustiest part in years. There’s much use of the N word, every bit of it to capture the reality of the situation. (ES) Rated PG-13


Don and Ellie have been divorced for years. But their adopted son’s marriage heralds a basket full of strange and extenuating circumstances that require the divorced couple to fake their marriage after years of separation. Will they be able to pull off this quirky charade to save their son’s wedding? This star-studded movie boasts more famous actors than an Oscar after-party, so you’re basically looking at the talent of Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton, Katherine Heigl, Amanda Seyfried and many more. (SM) Rated R.


In a world where everyone is connected through cellphones, laptops and tablets, human relationships have been forced upon an evolutionary path to cope. A businessman always on his cellphone with clients. Cyber bullies pushing classmates around online. A teenager who makes a living performing on an adult website. The question is asked — how do we connect? What does that connection mean when humans take their interactions online, through text and over the phone? This drama, starring Jason Bateman, follows the lives of disconnected people who crash together in a struggle to relate. (SM) Rated R


Will the fifth time be the charm? The fifth adaptation of the 1925 Fitzgerald novel (the others were in 1926, 1929, 1974, and 2000) has it over its predecessors because it sticks closest to the source material, in both storytelling and spirit, and because director Baz Luhrmann is a visionary stylist. He takes the tale of selfish, wealthy rich folks in the 1920s, most of whom think they deserve everything they want, casts it perfectly (Leo DiCaprio and his smile were made for the role of the mysterious Gatsby), then goes over the top with swooping 3D cameras, fast editing, and a nutzoid musical score. (ES) Rated PG-13


So, there’s this pretty obscure movie that a lot of you haven’t heard about. It’s called Iron Man and it really never got popular. They made a sequel, which didn’t do well in box offices either and definitely didn’t amass a huge fan base or anything. A third one is coming out

this week. So, I guess, if you feel like it, go and see a movie that didn’t get big and support some struggling actors like Robert Downey Jr., Guy Pierce and Gwyneth Paltrow. The movie is about a man who makes a metal robot suit. There’s an evil villain. The guy has to save the world most of the time and stuff. We’re kidding, this thing is outrageous and, of course, very popular. (SM) PG-13


Two teenagers stumble across a ruggedly handsome fugitive (Matthew McConaughey) hiding in the Deep South from bounty hunters and the law. The boys decide to take matters into their own hands, making a pact to keep the dashing criminal hidden from hungry killers and help reunite him with his long lost love.  It’s nice to see McConaughey  continue his habit of appearing in movies that aren’t, by and large, romantic comedies. Let’s hope he keeps it up. (SM) Rated PG-13


Jack (Tom Cruise) is a dude trying not to get captured by the alien Scavengers still scurrying around on planet Earth, still hanging out even though they lost the war with humans. (You’d think they’d take a hint and go  home, but no.) The Scavs are intent on causing trouble, and it’s Jack’s job, as a sort of roving Maytag repairman, to keep in the air the fleet of drone  weapons that are  protecting, from Scav attack, the ginormous fusionreactor thingies that are turning Earth’s oceans into a  power source for Titan, a moon of Saturn, to which the human survivors  of the war have decamped, what with Earth reduced to a radioactive wasteland and all. (MJ) Rated PG-13


The true story of a trio of bodybuilders in mid-’90s Miami who grab for the American Dream via the inept kidnapping of a wealthy gym client sits at the center of this sometimes wildly funny, often darkly gruesome Michael Bay film. Yup, the guy who brought us the Transformers movies still knows how to tell a great story, as he did in Bad Boys and The Rock. Speaking of the Rock, Dwayne Johnson gives the performance of his career here, as an

ex-con who sees the light, then falters. There’s great ensemble work between him, Mark Wahlberg and Anthony Mackie, some comic nastiness from Tony Shalhoub as their victim, and an air of calm from Ed Harris as a private detective. Lots of fun, but definitely not for the squeamish. (ES) Rated R


First, Wade Walker crashes a family reunion without permission. Next, he shows up to the Peeples family’s fancy-shmancy house in the Hamptons. After that, Wade asks Dad Peeples to marry the most precious and beautiful daughter out of the batch. Dad Peeples ain’t having nothin’ to do with that business. Not only is this a recipe for disaster, it’s also a recipe for a loving and quirky romantic comedy. Girls, drag your boyfriends to this one while he whines and complains all the way to the theater. Guys, prepare for some old-fashioned antics of love, as well as a cancerous growth spurred on by the complete inanity that is this movie. (SM) Rated PG-13


Centered around four musically inclined retirees and starring everybody’s favorite Downton Abbey actress Maggie Smith, this movie melds together our love for music and old people. The drama that ensues at this retirement center threatens the success of the annual gala concert, leaving the audience with one question: will the show go on? (KS) Rated PG-13


Director J.J. Abrams has done what every Star Trek fan has been hoping for. He’s upped the ante on everything in the sequel to his 2009 reboot of the franchise. And he’s done so with an eye cocked in the direction of diehard fans, to whom he sends little shout-outs of old Trek references. He also spins a whopping good, action- and effects-filled tale of intrigue and attitudes (and relationships and photon torpedoes and even a cameo by a Tribble). (ES) Rated PG-13 





Star Trek


Place Beyond the Pines




The Company You Keep


Fast and Furious 6


The Great Gatsby








film | review

WEEK OF May 24h THRU May 30th





To the Pines By Joseph Haeger


irector Derek Cianfrance proves something with his newest film: he is great at making you feel terrible. His previous movie, Blue Valentine, an instant cult classic starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, is about the slow demise of a relationship. The viewer is thrust deep into the emotional turmoil of two people falling out of love, leaving us with not a lot of hope for the future. The Place Beyond the Pines, again featuring Gosling, is similarly sad — as we watch fathers trying to be good dads when the circumstances THE PLACE BEYOND of the world THE PINES prevent them Rated R from achieving Directed by Derek Cianfrance their goal — but Starring Ryan Gosling, Eva Mendes it ends with a hint of hope, just enough to make someone think there are better options. The movie opens on a tattooed Luke (Ryan Gosling) as he walks through the fairgrounds to his motorcycle. He is a stunt driver and his specialty is the steel ball of death, a circular cage where Luke and two other men ride their motorcycles at once. A previous one-night stand, Romina (Eva Mendes), approaches him after the show, and over the course of a couple conversations Luke discovers he is a father. He

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Mo’ money, mo’ Gosling.

Ryan Gosling is at his best in one of the best films of the year quits the circus, deciding to stay in town to be a good father. But based on his skill set, he isn’t able to get a different job, leading him to start robbing banks with his new roommate Robin (Ben Mendelsohn). We are then introduced to Avery (Bradley Cooper in one of his non-Hangover roles), a rookie cop trying to make a difference at the street level. His father, a powerful judge, had higher hopes for his son than working his way up through the ranks of the police department. Avery also has a son, and when he is led into the world of police corruption, there’s an inner moral struggle. He tries to find the right course of action, if only to set an example for his growing child. The Place Beyond the Pines is slowly paced, but that’s not to say it is boring. Just like Drive had you on the edge of your seat, this film will keep your heart pumping. The raw emotion the actors are able to harness is nothing short of incredible. Under Cianfrance’s direction, each actor is able to completely inhabit his or her character. The grainy cinematography pulls the audience further into the culture in which these characters are stuck. With enough intuition and the right talent, a filmmaker can make you understand the tolls of a hard life, and with a sensitive hand, make the empathetic journey well worth the ride. n



Fri 5:00 Sat-Mon 12:00 5:00 Tues-Thurs 5:00

Oz the Great and Powerful

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THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES (140 MIN-R) Fri/Sat: 4:00, 8:30, Sun/Mon: 1:00, 5:30, Wed/Thu: 7:30


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PG-13 Daily (12:40) 6:15 Fri-Mon (10:00) In 2D Daily (12:20) (3:45) 6:45 9:45


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PG Daily (12:30) (2:40) Fri-Mon (10:20) Showtimes in ( ) are at bargain price. Special Attraction — No Passes Showtimes Effective 5/24/13-5/30/13

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MAY 31 | 7PM




JUNE 16 | 7PM







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AUG 8 | 7:30PM






AUG 22 | 8PM




38 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013



The People of Sasquatch The music festival has become one of the Northwest’s biggest events because of its people By Mike Bookey


t looked like something out of Mad Max if Mad Max was about partying — two school buses parked parallel to each other, linked by a makeshift lighting rig. During the day, it was merely a festival curiosity on the campgrounds of the Gorge Amphitheatre. At night, it seemed to represent the state of the Sasquatch! Music Festival, which celebrates its 12th edition this weekend. That lighting rig shot off explosive hues that hardly appeared makeshift. Thumping hip-hop reverberated from the buses, far beyond the hundred or so revelers crammed between them and across the rolling hills of tents, tank tops and inebriation. Someone, or some group of people, had access to not one but two school buses, and had arranged a way to get them parked near one another. This isn’t officially part of the festival itself, but rather something the people of Sasquatch have done for themselves. It’s as good as example as any how the enormous success of this festival has been not just a product of a well-curated lineup, but a result of the people who attend what has become a significant cultural gathering. It used to just be a chance to see three days of excellent indie music. Now Sasquatch is just as much about the people who buy tickets as it is about the bands who appear onstage. It’s a cultural gathering, one that now sells all of its 25,000 tickets in just a couple hours. Here are some of the people you’ll see at Sasquatch, a festival that needs all of these people to function as it does. ...continued on next page jim campbell illustrations

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 39


MUSIC | festival “the people of sasquatch!,” continued...

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There’s a festival in Southern California called Coachella. It’s basically a massive fashion show in the desert where young people gather to be made fun of by smug bloggers while music plays in the background. Thankfully, the same can’t be said for Sasquatch, although there is an increasing fashion-show element to the festival. But why wouldn’t you be on the lookout for new styles that perhaps haven’t arrived in your town if you’re at something like Sasquatch? That’s all part of an event like this, and these neon-clad, college-age kids provide it in droves. Some of them still wear feathered headdresses, without a clue as to how this could be perceived as offensive, ridiculous or both. Thankfully, that ill-conceived trend appears to be dying out. But these youngsters, drunk on half a case of the cheapest beer sold under Washington law, are the cheerleaders of this festival. They have demanded more and more electronic music, not only on the side stages, but even the main Gorge platform, and they’re also the ones who instigate the spontaneous conga lines and aforementioned campground afterparties.


Neither Sasquatch organizers nor LiveNation, the company that produces the event, would give us a breakdown of international ticket sales, but from a quick accent and license plate check over the prior three festivals, it’s quite clear that Canadians have come to love Sasquatch. A few bloggers have speculated that Canadian youth weren’t hit as hard by the recession and thus have a little more walking-around money to shell out for this festival. Also, Vancouver is less than a five-hour drive away from the Gorge (about the same distance as Portland), hardly an impossible trek, even if it requires a border crossing and finding party supplies in a foreign country. Having these folks as your neighbors in the campgrounds or on the lawn is as much of an unexpected cultural exchange as you’re going to find at a music festival. And these Canadians are insanely friendly. Like, kinda-might-weird-youout friendly. Bands they’re here to see: Grimes, Divine Fits, Mumford & Sons, Empire of the Sun

Bands they’re here to see: Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Steve Aoki, Earl Sweatshirt, Imagine Dragons

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Bands they’re here to see: Tame Impala, Postal Service, Dropkick Murphys

Bands they’re here to see: The xx, Andrew Bird, Father John Misty, Dirty Projectors and the bands mentioned above n

Sasquatch is well documented. The festival’s media area looks like a small music festival itself, with every regional and several national publications featuring some sort of Sasquatch coverage during or after the event. But there’s another army of documentarians roving the grounds at Sasquatch I’ve never understood why or for whom these guys are shooting video and snapping photos at a machine-gun rate, but they’re everywhere. If you’re at Sasquatch, someone is probably capturing your image. It’s like a crowdsourced police state. There are people who watch the entire festival through the screen of their iPhone as they shoot video of every performance. Maybe something unprecedented is supposed to happen during Bloc Party’s set, or maybe they think that the Postal Service will never again return to the stage. Annoying? Yes. But do you thank these people when you’re huddled around YouTube in January wishing it was Sasquatch season already? Hell yes.

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For all of the party vibe you’ll see at Sasquatch, the festival remains one of the most well-curated lineups around, thanks in part to the influence of founder Adam Zacks. If you’re looking to cram a summer’s worth of live music into one excellent but exhausting weekend, Sasquatch is your answer, and you’ll see the Northwest’s most die-hard music fans in attendance. They might not be dancing their asses off, but are up close for the action thanks to pre-planned schedules that enable them to maximize their time. They’re commonly seen in Seattle sports wear. It’s a generalization, but it seems true. This year these musical purists, who often opt to drive to Ellensburg for a hotel room rather than endure the campgrounds, have a hell of a slate thanks to scheduled appearances by Icelandic psych gods Sigur Ros, living legend Elvis Costello, and Built to Spill. And they can fill you in on all the lesser-known acts you haven’t heard of.

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music | sound advice



or my money, there’s nothin’ better than a sunny day drive with the windows down, blasting the epic caterwauling of a band like Judas Priest or Canadian thrashers 3 Inches of Blood. Led by the falsetto vocals of singer Cam Pipes, this Vancouver band draws heavily from classic New Wave of British Heavy Metal acts — your Priests and Motörheads — in its vocal styles and harmonies, but adds an updated hardcore element here and there. If it’s sunny out and you’re in the mood to headbang, 3 Inches of Blood will deliver that for you. — LEAH SOTTILE 3 Inches of Blood with Rutah and Mercy Brown • Thu, May 23, at 7 pm • The Hop! • 706 N. Monroe St. • $10 • Allages • • 368-4077

J = the inlander RECOMMENDs this show J = All Ages Show

Thursday, 5/23

Arbor Crest Winery (927-9463), Kari Marguerite and The 76 Baby Bar, Week of Wonders, Garlands, Tear Free Big City Saloon (474-0579), DJ Fusion Cellar, Pat Coast Coeur d’Alene Casino, PJ Destiny Daley’s Cheap Shots, Stranglers of Bombay Gibliano Brothers, Dueling Pianos J THE Hop!, 3 Inches of Blood (see story above), Rutah, Mercy Brown, Dank Submission J Knitting Factory, Pepper J Laguna Café, Just Plain Darin LeftBank Wine Bar, Nick Grow J Luxe Coffeehouse, Dirk Lind Marquee, MCSquared Moon Time, Moses Wiley O’Shay’s, Open mic Phat House, The Tone Collaborative Roadhouse, Sammy Eubanks Swamp, DJ Aphrodisiac Zola, Cruxie

Friday, 5/24

315 Martinis & Tapas, Andy Day Beverly’s (208-765-4000), Robert Vaughn Big City Saloon (474-0579), DJ Fusion Blue Spark, DJ Mark Thomas Blue Spark, Tulsi Bolo’s (891-8950), Scorpius Boomers (368-9847), The Sidemen J Calypsos Coffee (208-6650591), Sea Giant Carlin Bay Resort (208-6677314), YESTERDAYSCAKE Cellar, Brad Perry, The Fur Traders Checkerboard Bar, Chelsey Heidenreich, David Simmons, One Match Left, Michelle Payne Clover (487-2937), Robbie French

42 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013


Coeur d’Alene Casino, The Jam Band, Kosh Coldwater Creek Wine Bar (208263-6971), Slagdog Conkling Marina (208-686-1151), Torino Drive Country Club (208-676-2582), Coyote Rose Band Curley’s (208-773-58136), Shiner Fedora Pub, Ron Greene Gibliano Brothers, Dueling Pianos Gus’s Cigar Pub (208-667-9834), Dead Man’s Pants J the Hop!, (early show) The SelfProclaimed Narcissist, Election Year, A Quiet Place, Ian Miles; (late show) Dutch Schultz, Deviace Mike, Lei Majors, Major Boyz, Young Vibe, Lazilla, Seven Krown, Sintax, Cordell Drake, Mista Snipe, Loss Monstarz, Whurlwind Entertainment, The Freshman, Halos, Ese Lokote Iron Horse (926-8411), Not Guilty

Iron Horse Bar, Slow Burn Irv’s (624-4450), DJ Prophesy J Laguna Café, Diane Copeland J Luxe Coffeehouse, Dirk Lind Marquee, Likes Girls, MCSquared Max at Mirabeau (922-6252), Native Sun Mezzo Pazzo Wine Bar, Stephanie Hatzinikolis Moose Lounge (208-664-7901), The Usual Suspects J Mootsy’s, The Leafy Greens, Ol’ Abe, Reid Perry nYne, Vibe O’Shay’s, Arvid Lundin J Panida Theater (208-263-9191), JJ Gray & Mofro, Cathedral Pearls Pend d’Oreille Winery (208-2658545), Justin Lantrip J Phat House, Uncle Pooch, Odyssey Razzles (208-635-5872), Dragonfly Red Lion River Inn (328-9526), Chris Rieser and The Nerve


side from being one of the most beautiful towns in the Northwest, with its glittering lake and towering mountain, Sandpoint also produces some amazing music. Sandpoint gals the Shook Twins have made waves in the indie world, and up-and-comers Cedar & Boyer continue to carry the folk torch there. And for years, Josh Hedlund amazed local audiences with his warbling vocals and peaceful orchestrations. He lives in Portland now, but returns to the Inland Northwest to keep us on the hook with this easy, soulful tunes. — LEAH SOTTILE Josh Hedlund, Cedar & Boyer and Holly McGarry • Mon, May 27, at 5:30 pm • Forza Coffee Co. • 325 S. Sullivan Rd., Spokane Valley • Free • Tue, May 28, at 7:30 pm • Bucer’s Coffeehouse Pub • 201 S. Main St., Moscow • • (208) 596-0887 Red Room Lounge, The Fail Safe Project, Stillstand Roadhouse, Last Chance Band Rock Bar (443-3796), Moondogs Shop, DJ Wax808 Soulful Soups & Spirits, DJ Deuce Splash (208-765-4000), Nova Zola, Sammy Eubanks

Saturday, 5/25

315 Martinis & Tapas, Craig Catlet Trio Beverly’s (208-765-4000), Robert Vaughn Big City Saloon (474-0579), DJ Fusion Birdy’s Sports Bar (863-9572), Maxie Ray Mills Blue Spark, DJ Darkside Som Bolo’s (891-8950), Scorpius Boomers (368-9847), The Sidemen Carlin Bay Resort (208-6677314), YESTERDAYSCAKE Cellar, The Fur Traders

Center, Stitched Up Heart, God’s Money Shot, Severed J Chaps (624-4182), Just Plain Darin Clover (487-2937), Stephanie Hatzinikolis Coeur d’Alene Casino, The Jam Band, Kosh Coeur d’Alene Cellars (208-6642336), Talmadge and Kassandra Coldwater Creek Wine Bar (208263-6971), Scott Reid Conkling Marina (208-686-1151), Torino Drive Country Club (208-676-2582), Coyote Rose Band Curley’s (208-773-58136), Shiner Fedora Pub, Ron Greene Gateway Marina (208-689-3902), Triple Shot Gibliano Brothers, Dueling Pianos J THE Hop!, Collateral Damage, Free Lunch for Kids Impulse (242-7000), DJ Ramsin

Iron Horse (926-8411), Not Guilty Iron Horse Bar, Slow Burn Irv’s (624-4450), DJ Prophesy Kelly’s Irish Pub (208-667-1717), Fiddlin’ Red and Desire La Rosa Club (208-255-2100), Open mic J Luxe Coffeehouse, Union Street Marquee, Likes Girls, MCSquared Max at Mirabeau (922-6252), Native Sun Moose Lounge (208-664-7901), The Usual Suspects nYne, DJ Hype O’Shay’s, Moses Wiley Razzles (208-635-5872), Dragonfly

get listed!

Get your event listed in the paper and online by emailing getlisted@inlander. com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date. Red Lion River Inn (328-9526), Chris Rieser and The Nerve Roadhouse, Last Chance Band Rock Bar (443-3796), DJ Sonny J Rocket Market (343-2253), Starlite Motel Saddle Inn (624-1228), Texas Twisters Seasons of Couer d’Alene (208664-8008), Truck Mills J Shop, Darin Schaffer, Johnathan Nicholson Splash (208-765-4000), Nova Zola, Sammy Eubanks

Sunday, 5/26

Arbor Crest Winery (927-9463), Spare Parts J Boots Bakery & Lounge, Oracle’s Kitchen Carlin Bay Resort (208-6677314), YESTERDAYSCAKE Cellar, Steve Ridler Coeur d’Alene Casino, The Jam Band Conkling Marina (208-686-1151), Torino Drive Daley’s Cheap Shots, Open mic J Geno’s (487-9541), Eddie Haskell Jazz Trio J the Hop!, Iron Kingdom, Cypher, Autolycus Klink’s (235-2391), Sammy Eubanks Marquee, Likes Girls, DJ D3vin3 Saddle Inn (624-1228), The Two

Dudes Zola, The Bucket List

Monday, 5/27

Blue Spark, Open mic J Calypsos Coffee (208-6650591), Open mic Eichardt’s, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills J Forza Coffe Co. (535-7179), Cedar & Boyer, Holly McGarry, Josh Hedlund (see story on facing page) J THE Hop!, Texas in July, Measures, The Perservering Promise, A Cryptic Ending, Almost Home Red Room Lounge, Bakin Phat Rico’s (509-332-6566), Open mic Soulful Soups & Spirits, DJ Fusion Zola, Nate Ostrander

Tuesday, 5/28

J Baby Bar, Schwervon, Catholic Guilt, Encino Band J Bucer’s (208-882-5216), Cedar & Boyer, Holly McGarry, Josh Hedlund (see story on facing page) Cellar, TC Tye J Chairs Coffee (340-8787), Open mic Checkerboard Bar, Tommy G and the Nug Jug Band J THE Hop!, Spindle, Brandon Lee, B-Hopp and Big Dog, Twitch, Runner and others Kelly’s Irish Pub (208-667-1717), Powell Brothers J Luxe Coffeehouse, Trickster Fox J Moscow Food Co-op (208-8828537), Down Time Jazz Rico’s (509-332-6566), The Underground Blues Band J Shop, Lyle Morse Zola, Dan Conrad and The Urban Achievers

Wednesday, 5/29 Bistro on Spruce (208-664-1774), Truck Mills Blue Spark, DJ Darkside Som Cellar, Barry Aiken Eichardt’s, Charley Packard Fedora Pub, Kosh J Geno’s (487-9541), Open mic J the Hop!, HVAL CD Release feat. Zach Hval, Daniel Amado, Trevor Hicks, Connor Buckingham, Joshua Belliardo Irv’s (624-4450), DJ Prophesy

La Rosa Club (208-255-2100), Bright Moments J Luxe Coffeehouse, Dario Re Marquee, Likes Girls, DJ D3vin3 Mezzo Pazzo Wine Bar, Ron Criscione Phat House, Jesus and Beer J Revel77 (280-0518), Chelsey Heidenreich Ripples (326-5577), Dru Heller Trio Roadhouse, Chase, Last Chance Band Sundown Saloon (208-765-6585), Sam Platts and the Kootenai Three Zola, Island Soul

Coming Up…

J Downtown Spokane, The Inlander’s Volume Music Festival (see cover section for details) feat. the Makers, Kinski, Campfire OK, the Lonesome Billies, the Hoot Hoots, Great Falls, Witch Mountain, Haunted Horses, Pony Time, Stickers, King Elephant, Eternal Summers and more! on May 31 and June 1 Northern Quest Casino, Jewel on May 31 Elk Public House (363-1973), Elkfest feat. Terrible Buttons, Aan, The Cave Singers, Battleme, the Builders and the Butchers, Folkinception, Pickwick and more on June 7-9 Mootsy’s, Diamond Speedboat, Drag Like Pull, Death By Pirates on June 7 Knitting Factory, One More Time (Daft Punk Tribute), DJ Daethstar on June 9 Knitting Factory, We Came as Romans, Set it Off, Ice Nine Kills, Like Moths to Flames, Upon a Burning Body, Crown the Empire on June 13 Northern Quest Casino, Tony Bennett on June 13 Knitting Factory, Flying Mammals CD Release on June 14 Riverfront Park, BOBFest feat. 12 local high school bands on June 15 Center, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Bass Drum of Death on June 16 BellTower, Unknown Mortal Orchestra on June 17 Tonasket Barter Faire, Conscious Culture Fest feat. Rocker T, Indignitize, Essential I, Acorn


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Project, Manooghi Hi, Polecat, Adrian Xavier Band and others on June 21-22 Knitting Factory, Pigs on the Wing (Pink Floyd Tribute) on June 22 Mikey’s Gyros (208-882-0708), The Cave Singers on June 25 Gorge Amphitheater (785-6262), Paradiso Festival feat. Kaskade, Tiesto and others on June 28-29 Knitting Factory, Killswitch Engage, As I Lay Dying, Miss May I, Affiance on June 28 Fox Theater, Old Crow Medicine Show on July 2 Northern Quest, Bad Company with Paul Rodgers on July 7 Knitting Factory, Candlebox on July 8 Red Room Lounge, Dead Prez on July 11 Northern Quest, Poison & Ratt on July 12 Glover Field, KYRS Music Fest feat. Menomena, Finn Riggins, Jonathan Warren & The Billy Goats, Real Life Rockaz, Cathedral Pearls, BBBBandits on July 13 Knitting Factory, Son Volt on July 23 Gorge Amphitheater (785-6262), Phish on July 26-27 Northern Quest, Alan Jackson, Gloriana on Aug. 8 Gorge Amphitheater (785-6262), Black Sabbath on Aug. 24 Gorge Amphitheater (785-6262), Dave Matthews Band on Aug. 30 - Sept. 1

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North Division • (509)484-1516 Spokane Valley • (509)927-3787 Coeur d’Alene • (208)667-6995

Mon-Sat 9-6 • • North Division store open Sundays

music | venues 315 restaurant • 315 E. Wallace Ave., Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-9660 AVENUE PIZZARIA • 2001 W. Pacific Ave. • 624-0236 BaBy Bar • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 tHe BelltoWer • 125 SE Spring St., Pullman • 509-334-4195 BIng CrosBy tHeater • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BIgfoot PuB • 9115 N. Division • 467-9638 Blue sParK • 15 S. Howard St. • 838-5787 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 Carr’s Corner • 230 S. Washington • 474-1731 tHe Cellar • 317 E. Sherman, Coeur d’Alene • 208-664-9463 tHe Center • 6425 N. Lidgerwood St. • 742-7879 tHe CHeCKerBoard Bar • 1716 E. Sprague Ave • 535-4007 Coeur d’alene CasIno • 37914 South Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2467 daley’s CHeaP sHots • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 eICHardt’s • 212 Cedar St. Sandpoint • 208-263-4005 fedora PuB • 1726 W. Kathleen, Coeur d’Alene • 208-765-8888 fIzzIe MullIgan’s • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 fox tHeater • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 gIBlIano BrotHers • 718 W. Riverside Ave. • 315-8765 tHe HoP! • 706 N. Monroe St. • 368-4077 Iron Horse • 407 Sherman, Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-7314 JoHn’s alley • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208883-7662 Jones radIator • 120 E. Sprague Ave. • 747-6005 KnIttIng faCtory • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 laguna CafÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 4480887 LUXE COFFEEHOUSE • 1017 W. First Ave. • 642-5514 Marquee • 522 W. Riverside Ave • 838-3332 Mezzo Pazzo WIne Bar • 2718 E. 57th Ave. • 863-9313 Moon tIMe • 1602 Sherman, Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-2331 Mootsy’s • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 nortHern quest CasIno • 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights • 242-7000 nyne • 232 W. Sprague • 474-1621 o’sHay’s • 313 Coeur d’Alene Lake Drive, Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-4666 THE PHAT HOUSE • 417 S. Browne St. • 443-4103 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W, Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 roadHouse Country roCK Bar • 20 N. Raymond Rd., Spokane Valley • 413-1894 sergIo’s • 825 W. Riverside Ave. • 7472085 tHe sHoP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 soulful souPs & sPIrIts • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 tHe sWaMP • 1904 W 5th Ave • 458-2337 VIKING BAR & GRILL • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 zola • 22 W. Main • 624-2416

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 43


Hold onto your gospels, because a professor of religious studies is coming to Spokane to tell you that the Bible got it wrong. Jesus has been misquoted. On purpose. The Bible we read today may not, in fact, be the Bible that was written thousands of years ago. Over years of study and thousands of hours of research, professor Bart Ehrman took a deeper look into the passing down of our most holy of texts. His conclusion? Somewhere, a scribe and his pals got all uppity and altered words, omitted lines, and even changed meaning to mirror the social agendas of the day. The result? The Bible is a sponge that has absorbed the politics of thousands of years of humanity and we, as readers, shouldn’t be so quick to use this sponge to wash our minds. — SARAH MUNDS Misquoting Jesus • Thu, May 23 at 6:30 pm • Free • Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox • 1001 W. Sprague Ave. • • 624-1200

44 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013



JJ Grey and Mofro • Fri, May 24 at 8 pm • $25 • All-ages • Panida Theater • 300 N. First Ave., Sandpoint, Idaho • • (208) 263-9191

Spokane Kennel Club Dog Show & Obedience Trial • Fri, May 24-Sun, May 26 from 6 am-8 pm • Spokane Fair and Expo Center • 404 N. Havana St. • Free, $5 parking • • 328-7652

If the rasp of Joe Cocker’s voice and the scope of Carlos Santana’s career ever formed an intimate union, the love child would be JJ Grey. With a gritty but soulful style, Grey and his band, Mofro, have played to packed houses around the globe for more than a decade. Despite changes over the years, Grey has always given the crew a unique voice and vibe. Grey’s vision is refreshing: lyrics about drinking coffee and videos of parents fighting at a youth baseball game. Spokane’s own Cathedral Pearls open the show. — JEFF RUTHERFORD

Americans love dogs. (Remember the SNL skit pictured above?) We stuff them (safely) in our purses, treat them as if they were our children and spoil them rotten. The Spokane Kennel Club’s annual dog show — first held all the way back in 1903 — gives locals an opportunity to not only show off their cute canines to the public, but the chance to compete to see if their dog truly is the best of its breed. — KARA STERMER

get listed!

Email to get your event listed in the paper and online. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

SPRING CLASS SERIES reach and relevance with online advertising Learn why advertisers are using more online advertising and how to get the most out of your campaigns. • Effective design techniques that get the most clicks • How to start with a $100 budget • Harness the power of retargeting to “follow” your hot prospects online! Tues May 28th, 11:30am - 1:00pm @ The Lincoln Center Class registration is $25 (includes a catered lunch) 1316 N. Lincoln St. | | 509.388.7337



Press, 909 S. Grand Blvd. Valhalla, 1000 N.E. Colorado St., Pullman


Blue Spark, 15 S. Howard St. Eagle’s Pub, 414 First St., Cheney Iron Horse Bar and Grill, 11105 E. Sprague Ave., Spokane Valley Fieldhouse Pizza and Pub, 4423 W. Wellesley Ave. Valhalla, 1000 N.E. Colorado St., Pullman


Applebees, 12217 E. Mission Ave., Spokane Valley Flamin’ Joe’s, 7015 N. Division St. Flamin’ Joe’s, 2620 E. 29th Ave. Flamin’ Joe’s, 11618 E. Sprague Morty’s, 5517 S. Regal St. Valhalla, 1000 N.E. Colorado St., Pullman


Applebees, 9634 N. Newport Applebees, 2007 E. 29th Ave.

nYne, 232 W. Sprague Ave. JJ’s Grill and Brewhouse, 8801 N. Indian Trail Rd. Picnic Pines, 9212 S. Silver Lake Rd., Medical Lake Scout, 1001 W. First Ave. Soulful Soups, 117 N. Howard St. Valhalla, 1000 N.E. Colorado St., Pullman





Eagle’s Pub, 414 First St., Cheney Sidebar and Grill, 1101 W. Broadway Ave. Valhalla, 1000 N.E. Colorado St., Pullman


Stella’s Café, 917 W. Broadway Valhalla, 1000 N.E. Colorado St., Pullman


The Shop, 924 S. Perry St. Valhalla, 1000 N.E. Colorado St., Pullman n




Gonzaga basketball has been the marquee sport in Spokane for more than a decade, leaving many to forget that once upon a time, Gonzaga had a football team. At times, they were quite good, drawing big crowds to games and producing NFL players. The team never again took the field after 1941 and Spokane resident Joe Destefano’s new book, Undefeated Since 1941, aims at making sure the long-gone program is not forgotten. The book is very, very self-published, but sports history buffs are sure to get a kick out of all the old photos Destefano dug up. — MIKE BOOKEY Joe Destefano book signing • Fri, May 24 at 4 pm • Hastings • 2512 E. 29th



with the help of The Inlander’s Award-Winning Editorial Staff


To advertise, call 509.325.0624 x216 or email

MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 45

events | farmers markets

events | calendar


Bonners Ferry Farmers Market,
 Saturdays through Oct. 5 from 8 am-1 pm. Corner of Hwy. 95 and Kootenai Street, Bonners Ferry, Idaho. bonnersferryfarmersmarket. org (208-267-7987)

Northeast Washington Farmers Market, Wednesdays and Saturdays through Oct. from 9 am-1 pm. Under the clock tower on the corner of Main & Astor, Colville, Wash. (517-414-0399)

Cheney Farmers Market, Tuesdays, June 11 through Sept. 24 from 2-7 pm. Cheney City Hall Parking Lot, 609 Second St. (235-2225)

Pend Oreille Farmers Market,
 Saturdays through Sept. from 9 am-1 pm. Pend Oreille Playhouse, 240 N. Union Ave., Newport, Wash. (509-671-3389)

Chewelah Farmers Market,
 Fridays through Oct. 18 from 11:30 am-5:30 pm. City Park, 600 N. Park St., Chewelah, Wash. (936-4353)

Rathdrum Farmers Market,
 First and third Saturdays through Oct. 6 from 9 am-3 pm. City Park off Hwy. 53, Rathdrum, Idaho. (208687-3293)

Clayton Farmers Market,
 Sundays, June-Oct. from noon-4 pm. Clayton Fairgrounds, 4616 Wallbridge Rd., Clayton, Wash. (590-3353)

Sandpoint Farmers Market,
 Saturdays through Oct. 12 from 9 am-1 pm; Wednesdays, from 3-5:30 pm. Farmin Park, Third Avenue and Oak Street, Sandpoint, Idaho. (208597-3355)

Coeur d’Alene Farmers Market,
 Wednesdays through Sept. 25 from 4-7 pm. Fifth Street and Sherman Avenue. Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. (208-772-2290) Colville Farmers Market, Wednesdays through Oct. from noon-5 pm. Stevens County Fairgrounds, 317 W. Astor Ave., Colville, Wash. (732-6619) Deer Park Farmers Market,
 Thursdays, June through Oct. from 4-7 pm. 412 W. Crawford Ave., Deer Park, Wash. (979-1051) Hayden Farmers Market, Saturdays through Sept. from 9 am-1:30 pm. Corner of Hwy. 95 and Prairie Ave., Hayden, Idaho. (208-772-2290) Liberty Lake Farmers Market,
 Saturdays through Oct. 12 from 9 am-1 pm. 1421 N. Meadowwood Ln., Liberty Lake, Wash. (879-4965) Millwood Farmers Market,
 Wednesdays through Sept. 25 from 3-7 pm. Millwood Community Presbyterian, 3223 N. Marguerite Rd. (924-2350) Moscow Farmers Market,
 Saturdays through Oct. from 8 am-1 pm. Friendship Square and Main St., downtown Moscow, Idaho. (208-883-7132)

46 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013

South Perry Farmers Market,
 Thursdays through Oct. from 3-7 pm. The Shop, 924 S. Perry St. Spokane, Wash. thursdaymarket. org (720-8449) Spokane Farmers Market,
 Saturdays through Oct. 30 from 8 am-1 pm; Wednesdays from 8 am-1 pm, starting June 12. 20 W. Fifth Ave. Spokane, Wash. (995-0182) Spokane Public Market,
 Thursday-Saturday, year-round from 10 am-6 pm; Sunday from 11 am-5 pm. Spokane Public Market, 24 W. Second Ave. Spokane, Wash. (8423544) Tuesday Growers’ Market,
 Tuesdays, May 25 through Oct. 8 from 4-6:30 pm. Moscow Food Coop, 121 E. Fifth St., Moscow, Idaho. (208-882-8537) Veradale Farmers Market, Tuesdays through Sept. 24 from 2-6 pm. Spokane Valley Eagles, 16801 E. Sprague Ave. (990-3683) West Central Marketplace,
 Tuesdays, June 18 through midOct. from 3-6 pm. A.M. Cannon Park, 1920 W. Maxwell Ave. (5210606) n visit for details.

Stand-Up ComedyLocal comedians. Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s Comedy, 2721 N. Market St. (483-7300) Product PlacementImprov show based on audience suggestions. Fridays at 8 pm through May 31. $7-$9. All-ages. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. (747-7045) SafariShort-form improv games based on audience suggestions. Saturdays at 9 pm through May 25. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. (747-7045) Jeff DunhamLive comedy show. June 20 at 8:30 pm. $30-$60. Northern Quest Resort & Casino, 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights. (4816700)


Feed the NeighborhoodFree meals provided every Thursday from 4-6 pm. Free. (Volunteers also needed to cook meals) 7th and Catherine Ave., Post Falls, Idaho. (208-661-5166) Host Families NeededLocal families are needed to host Afghan children (three boys, two girls, ages 7-12) who are set to arrive here to receive medical care this summer, for six weeks starting on June 20. Children accompanied by an interpretor. (208660-8088) Family NightLearn to make candy with science. May 24 from 6-8 pm. $2-$6. Mobius Science Center, 811 W. Main Ave. (443-5669) March Against MonsantoA public march to create awareness for genetically modified foods. May 25 from 11 am-3 pm. March starts at Fifth Ave. and Brown St. and goes to Riverfront Park. (991-8538) Swing Into Summer DanceLearn the West Coast Swing an hour before open dancing starts. May 25. Lesson from 7-8 pm, dancing from 8-10 pm. $5-$9. Sandpoint Community Hall, (208-699-0421) Fallen Hero CeremonyA ceremony honoring U.S. servicemen and women who have been killed in action since Sept. 11, 2011. May 26 from 12:30-1 pm. Free and open to the public. Valley Fourth Memorial Church, 2303 S. Bowdish Rd. (995-0716) PJALS Spring SoireeA silent and live auction, live music, food and more benefiting the Peace and Justice Action League of Spokane. May 30 from 5:30-9 pm. $20. St. John’s Cathedral, 127 E. 12th Ave. (838-7870) Light the WayDinner and auction fundraiser gala benefiting the American Childhood Cancer Organization of the Inland Northwest. June 1 from 5-11 pm. $75. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (474-2759) Relay for LifeAn all-night walk celebrating cancer survivors and remembering cancer victims, as part of a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. Starts June 1 at 5 pm. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. relay. (701-2057) Vanessa’s PromiseAnnual Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery fundraiser event, featuring keynote presentations by members of Vanessa Behan’s family. June 4 from noon-1 pm. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls

Blvd. (340-0479) Bad Science Friday“Dowsing and Dead People”-themed activities on the ideomotor effect. June 7 from 10 am-6 pm. $7-$10. Mobius Science Center, 811 W. Main Ave. (4435669) Parade of Paws10th annual 2- or 4-mile dog walk benefiting the Spokane Humane Society. June 8 at 10 am. No entrance fee; participants are asked to collect pledges from friends and family. Spokane Humane Society, 6607 N. Havana St. (467-5235) Baskets for Babies Fundraiser Parking lot sale featuring local vendors and a benefit auction to support the nonprofit organization Baskets for Babies. June 22 from 9 am-4 pm. $10/vendor, free to attend. Baskets for Babies, 9410 E. Sprague Ave. (214-2634) Mad Hatter TeaAfternoon tea fundraiser featuring refreshments, music and more in a benefit event for The Franciscan Place at St. Joseph Family Center. June 23 from 1-4 pm. Ages 21+. $50. St. Joseph Family Center, 1016 N. Superior St. (483-6495)


Children’s Miracle Network Craft Fair A spring craft fair benefiting the Children’s Miracle Network, with a portion of proceeds matched by CNM to update/purchase equipment used by Providence’s pediatric programs. May 23 from 8 am-4 pm. Free admission. Providence Sacred Heart, Mother Joseph Room, 101 W. 8th Ave. (7473081)

weekend countdown

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Vintage Art in the GardenThe fourth annual vintage and antiques bazaar hosts local vendors selling vintage goods, plants, food, handmade wares and more. May 25 from 9 am-5 pm. Free admission. Private residence at 3225 W. 7th Ave. The Farm Chicks Antique Show Antiques, vintage items, clothing, art, handmade goods and more, featuring more than 200 vendors from across the U.S. June 1 from 9 am-6 pm and June 2 from 9 am-4 pm. $8/day. Spokane Fair & Expo Center, 404 N. Havana St.


A Course in MiraclesTheological study group. Thursdays at 7 pm. Love Your Life Center, 1111 E. Sherman Ave. Coeur d’Alene. (208-777-1996) Country Swing LessonsLearn country-style swing dancing with The Swinging Boots. Thursdays from 7-9 pm. $5. The Roadhouse Country Rock Bar, 20 N. Raymond Rd. (413-1894) Argentine Tango LessonsLessons for newcomers are free on Thursdays at 6:45 pm. Club Corazon, 2117 E. 37th Ave. (688-4587) Intro to Chicken KeepingLearn the basics of keeping chickens in the Spokane area and how to care for them. May 25 from 11 am-1 pm. $20, preregistration required. Sun People Dry Goods Co., 32

W. Second Ave. sunpeopledrygoods. com (368-9378) Essential Oils WorkshopLearn what essential oils are, how to use them and their health benefits. May 25 from 3-5 pm. $5, preregistration required. Sun People Dry Goods Co., 32 W. Second Ave. (368-9378) Teen Board Game NightThe library hosts a board game night for teens. May 28 from 4-5 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Public Library, 702 E. Front Ave. (208-769-2315) Spokane Moves to Amend the Constitution The local activist group meets on the second and fourth Tuesdays of each month. Next meeting is May 28 at 6:30 pm. Free. Unitarian Universalist, 4340 W. Ft. George Wright Dr. (844-1776) Dining With The StarsBenefit dinner starting with hors d’oeuvres at Interplayers, continuing with travel to private host homes to dine with Interplayers actors and patrons. May 28 from 5-9 pm. $100. Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. Howard St. (455-7529) Reconnection WorkshopWorkshop to provide post-deployment skill building for military families, on the topic of working through anger. May 30 at 6 pm. American Red Cross, 315 W. Nora. (3263330) Sacred Rubble Sale & AuctionCommunity rummage sale fundraiser and auction benefiting Unity Center’s general fund. May 31 from 10 am-4 pm and June 1 from 9 am-2 pm. Unity Spiritual Center, 2900 S. Bernard St. (838-9518) Spokane Care CongressLong-term care rally and informational event. June 1 from noon-4 pm. Free, lunch and childcare provided. Liberty Park Methodist Church, 1526 N. 11th Ave. (599-3507) Summer Service DayCommunity members are invited to a day focused on improving and enhancing the fairgrounds in preparation for summer activities and events. June 1. Kootenai County Fairgrounds, 4056 N. Government Way, CdA. (208-765-4969) Spokane ComiconSeventh annual comic convention featuring vendors, programming, gaming tournaments, contests and more. June 1 from 10 am-5 pm. $6-$7, kids under 12 free. All-ages. SCC Bldg. 6, 1810 N. Greene St. (262-8923) Spokane Swing Dance ClubA social swing dancing event featuring a onehour lesson preceding the dance on West Coast Swing. June 2 from 6-10 pm. $5-$8. German American Society Hall, 25 W. Third Ave. (954-2158) Downton Abbey Tea PartyThis summer fundraiser for the JACC features a croquet tournament, card games, dancing and an English-themed tea. June 8 at 2 pm. $35-$250. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 William St., Post Falls. (208-457-8950) Women Warriors Retreat Fundraiser A fundraiser supporting the Women Warriors Retreat, hosted by the Cowgirl Co-op for female combat veterans, including a horseback ride, catered lunch and concert by Juni Fisher. June 9, events starting at 10:30 am. $15-$65. Cowgirl Co-op, 20424 N. Dunn Rd. (936-1069) Long Island Medium Teresa Caputo

The star of TLC’s “Long Island Medium” will talk about her ability to communicate with the dead. June 14 at 8 pm. $36-$85. INB Performing Arts Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (279-7000) Over the EdgeRappel down the side of Spokane’s tallest building — 20 stories and 264 feet — in the annual Special Olympics Washington fundraiser. June 22 from 8 am-5 pm. Fundraising required to participate, free to watch. (299-7117)


Historic Ritzville DaysWestern Art Show, Dutch oven cook-off, live entertainment, vendors and more. May 24-26. Downtown Ritzville, Wash. (660-0654) Priest Lake Spring FestivalThe annual festival features a pancake breakfast, arts and crafts, vendors, a parade, food, and fun run/walk events. May 25 from 9 am-3 pm, May 26 from 8 am-3 pm. Free to attend, prices vary for fun runs. (208443-3201) Spokane Carvers 12th Annual Rendezvous A two-day festival featuring woodcarving classes, demonstrations and more. May 31-June 1 from 8 am-4 pm. Free. KOA Campgrounds, 3025 N. Barker Rd. (467-3342) Wallace Street FairVendors, kids’ games, food, live music and more. June 1-2, Sat from 8 am-7 pm, Sun from 10 am-3 pm. Free. Wallace, Idaho. (208556-1037)


Oz the Great and PowerfulFantasy/adventure (rated PG). May 23-26, show times vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow. (208-882-4127) Trance Drama/thriller (rated R) May 30-June 2, show times vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow. (208-882-4127)

Food & Drink

Food with BenefitsA benefit for Communities in Schools, with 20 percent of all proceeds from the day going to the local nonprofit. May 24 from 11:30 am10 pm. Prices vary. Ciao Mambo, 818 W. Riverside Ave. (413-1436) Northern Italy’s WinesSample a variety of wines from Northern Italy. May 24 at 7 pm. $20, reservations required. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (3432253) Spring Wine Dinner “Celebrare I’Italia”-themed four-course dinner paired with Italian wines. May 24 from 6-10 pm. $55. The Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. (327-8000) Yucatecan CuisineChef Colomba from Cafe Carambola leads a class on Yucatecan-style cooking. May 30 from 5:30-8 pm. $50. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 William St., Post Falls. (208-457-8950) Washington WinesSample wines

from some of the state’s first wineries and vineyard sites, as well as newer estates. May 31 at 7 pm. $20, reservations required. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (343-2253) In Vino Veritas“There is Truth in Wine” annual fundraiser benefiting Planned Parenthood of Greater Washington and North Idaho, featuring wine tasting, hors d’oeuvres, an auction and more. May 31 at 6 pm. $100. 21+. Chateau Rive, 621 W. Mallon Ave. (866-904-7721)

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Email to get your event listed in the paper and online. We need the details one week prior to our publication date. Cheesemaking Learn to make five types of cheese at home in a basic, introductory course. June 1 from 1-5 pm. $5/children, $25/adults, preregistration required. Pine Meadow Farm Center, 10425 S. Andrus Rd., Cheney. (448-3066) Southern CookingLearn to cook several traditional southern dishes including fried chicken, pulled beef, catfish and more with chef Steve Geving. June 19 from 10:30 am-1:30 pm. $25, reservations required. (208-437-0426) Crab BoilBob Black leads a New England-style crab boil cooking class. June 24 from 5:30-8 pm. $50. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 William St., Post Falls. (208-457-8950)


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My friend’s girlfriend hits on me all the time. (We’re all lesbians.) She always offers to get me a drink before she gets her girlfriend one, and she’s taken to giving me quick shoulder rubs and stomach pokes. The other night was really bad. A bunch of us were seated around a big table, and after I said something that made her laugh, she slapped my thigh and left her hand there a long time and started rubbing it. She was drunk, but still. I moved my chair over AMY ALKON and ignored her for the rest of the night. My friend seems oblivious, and I’ve contemplated telling her, but I suspect she’d be terribly embarrassed. So, what am I supposed to do, just not have a social life? -Fondled Going out with your friends shouldn’t remind you of the last time you were body-searched at the airport, save for how the airport groperlady probably looked like she wanted to get it over with fast, not like she wanted to lick your tattoo. You, like many people, get so caught up in being irritated at somebody’s behavior that you forget that you never asked the person to stop. You did try other means of communication, but unless you’ve had success moving dishes to the sink with your thoughts and then getting whoever’s dining with you to wash them, you should probably consider telepathy a bust. And sure, persistent pained looks could suggest that you are very much not up for a drink and a thigh rub — or that you forgot to eat your Activia again. Having held in your feelings for so long, it’s easy to explode and blurt out “You need to stop hitting on me!” or, referencing the woman she’s publicly disrespecting, “Touch base with the fact you have a girlfriend instead of my inner thigh!” With either statement, you’re accusing and criticizing her — and rightfully so. The problem is, as psychotherapist Dr. Carl Alasko wisely points out in “Beyond Blame,” criticizing a person leads to anger, denial, and defensiveness, not change. To get Miss Wanderhands to listen instead of blowing up, remain calm and use passive language that focuses on the action you want changed and your feelings about it, for example, “This level of touchy-feeliness makes me very uncomfortable.” This tells her “The petting zoo is closed” as opposed to “You’re a bad person!” (which, by the way, she is). If she persists or makes some unwanted confession, you can be more direct: “Look, I’m not interested. Please stop.” As for your friend, keep in mind that she may not be ready to see what’s going on, as this would require her to take some sort of action she may not be ready to take. Until she becomes ready, her girlfriend will remain a kind and generous person, buying beer for a thirsty woman much in the way she might reach out to a homeless man: “Can I brush past your breast while getting you a sandwich?”


I’m a pretty green gal. I ride my bike to work, grow vegetables, compost, use reusable bags, containers and cloths, only eat sustainable foods. You get the picture. My boyfriend of six months is a wonderful, kind soul who recycles his cans, but that’s the extent of his eco-friendliness. He seems a little overwhelmed and uninterested when I tell him how easy and important going green really is. How can I motivate him to change without seeming like a bossy solicitor banging on his door? -Small Carbon Footprint Like many people in the early stages of a relationship, you have some questions about your partner, like how you can get him to stop using so many squares of toilet paper. On a positive note, you don’t mention anything about his following the Great Pacific Garbage Patch on Twitter to see whether any of the litter he tossed in the ocean made its way there. That said, if your immediate world will be a dark and horrible place if the man in your life refuses to rinse and reuse his aluminum foil, you may be with the wrong man. Otherwise, the question is, do you want to be in a relationship or a two-person political movement? If it’s a relationship you want, forget trying to lecture him into changing (which tends to create rebels, not converts), and accept that you may be able to influence him. You do that simply by being who you are, doing what you do, and being passionate about it — and all the better if you do all of that while wearing the hottest in hemp lingerie. Who knows, you two lovebirds could soon find yourselves enjoying the first few of a lifetime of romantic nights dining in the garden — chewing on plants to avoid dirtying dishes and increasing your collective carbon footprint.  ©2013, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email (

48 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013



JOHN PAUL SHIELDS Classical guitar concert as part of the Spring-Summer Guitar Series. May 23 at 7 pm. $7-$12. Holy Names Music Center, 3910 W. Custer Dr. (326-9516) FERRIS HIGH SCHOOL CONCERT Free concert by the Ferris High School band. May 29 at 7 pm. Free. INB Performing Arts Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (279-7000) JEWEL Concert. May 31 at 7:30 pm. $65-$135. Northern Quest Resort & Casino, 100 N. Hayford Rd. (481-6700) CELTIC WOMAN Concert. June 5 at 7:30 pm. $48-$99. INB Performing Arts Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (279-7000) JAZZ ENSEMBLE A concert performed by 15 students ages 9-18, of the CdA Charter Academy. June 6 at 7 pm. $5. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 William St., Post Falls. (208-457-8950) JENNIFER RUSSELL Music by the spiritual coach and singer/songwriter. June 9 at 9 am and 11 am. Unity Spiritual Center, 2900 S. Bernard St. (838-9518) TONY BENNETT Concert. June 13 at 7:30 pm. $86-$151. Northern Quest Resort & Casino, 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights. (481-6700) SIDHE Concert as part of the SpringSummer Guitar Series. June 20 at 7 pm. $7-$12. Holy Names Music Center, 3910 W. Custer Dr. (326-9516) DOOBIE BROTHERS Blues/rock concert. June 23 at 7:30 pm. $45-$65. Northern Quest Resort & Casino, 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights. (481-6700) ZACH BAKER The multi-instrumentalist, composer and conductor joins other local musicians to perform a concert. June 26 at 7:30 pm. $15-$20. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 William St., Post Falls. (208-457-8950) FLEETWOOD MAC Rock concert. June 29. Tickets TBA. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. (2797000)



run. Thursdays at 6 pm. Free. Red Lion River Inn, 700 N. Division. flyingirish. org SPOKANE TABLE TENNIS Ping-pong club meets on Saturdays from 1-4 pm and Mondays and Wednesdays from 7-9:30 pm. $2/visit; open to the public. North Park Racquet Club, 8121 N. Division. (7681780) 24 HOURS ROUND THE CLOCK A 24hour mountain bike race open to all ages and ability levels. Starts May 25 at noon and continues until noon on May 26. Kids race May 26 at 10 am. $200. Riverside State Park, Spokane. (953-9831) SPOKANE TABLE TENNIS CLUB Pingpong club meets Wednesdays from 6:30-9 pm. $2/visit. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. (456-3581) MOVE! Kids movement and conditioning class for children ages 5-10 years. Wednesdays through May 29 from 4:30-5:15 pm. $6/class or $40/8 week session. The Buddhio at South Perry Yoga, 915 S. Perry St. (499-3750) DADS AND DUDES NIGHT A night of games, father-son bonding activities, relay races and more. May 31 from 6-9 pm. $10/pair. All-ages. HUB Sports Center, 19619 E. Cataldo Ave. (927-0602) SPOKANE SHOCK Arena football game vs. San Jose Sabercats. June 1 at 7 pm. $14-$35. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. (2427462) SPOKANE FESTIVAL OF SPEED Vintage and historic auto racing event benefiting the Northwest Parkinson’s Foundation. Races on June 1-2, Test and Tune on May 31 at Jaremko Nissan, from 6-9 pm (free). $10/race admisson. Spokane County Raceway, 750 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights. ARTISANS GOLF TOURNAMENT Second annual scramble-format golf tournament fundraiser benefiting The Artisans of Spokane, a nonprofit providing services for disabled persons. June 1 at 8 am. $89. Esmeralda Golf Course, 3933 E. Courtland Ave. (325-4489) HOOPS OVER THE HORIZON Threeon-three coed basketball tournament. June 1 from 9 am-5 pm. Open to children in grades 3-12. $100/team. University High School, 12420 E. 32nd Ave. (228-4940) WILDFLOWER AND PHOTO WALK A

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walk around the refuge with wildlife photographer Rich Leon. June 1 at 10 am. $5. Turnbull Wildlife Refuge, 26010 S. Smith Rd., Cheney. (498-9295) BAY TRAIL FUN RUN 5K or 10K fun run in celebration of National Trails Day with proceeds benefiting Friends of the Pend d’Oreille Bay Trail. June 1 at 9 am. $25-$30. Starts at Trinity at City Beach, 58 Bridge St., Sandpoint. (208-946-7586) SPOKANE SHOCK Arena football game vs. Jacksonville Sharks. June 8 at 7 pm. $14-$35. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. (2427462) BIRD WALK A walk around the lakes to view spring birds in their plumage. June 8 from 8-11 am. $5. Turnbull Wildlife Refuge, 26010 S. Smith Rd., Cheney. (498-9295) YOUTH BASEBALL INVITATIONAL First annual “Best in the Northwest” youth baseball invitational. June 21-23. FriSat from 8 am-6 pm, Sun from 8 am-5 pm. Dwight Merkel Sports Complex, 5701 N. Assembly St. (714-7373)


THE DIXIE SWIM CLUB Comedy. Through June 2. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $21. Spokane Civic Theater, 1020 N. Howard St. (325-2507) SEEDS OF CHANGE Premiere performance of a comedy written by Spokane playwright Craig Rickett. Through May 26. Wed-Sat (except May 18) at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Sat, May 18 and 25 at 2 pm. Talkbacks with the cast on Thurs and Sat. $12-$28. Cheese tasting before the play on May 22 at 3 pm ($40) Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. Howard St. (455-7529) GREASE 1950s rock ‘n’ roll musical. May 17-June 16. Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $11-$29. Spokane Civic Theater, 1020 N. Howard St. (325-2507) BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Musical. Through June 2. Fridays at 7 pm, Saturdays at 1 pm and 4 pm, Sundays at 1 pm. Spokane Children’s Theatre, 2727 N. Madelia St. (328-4886) ROSSUM’S UNIVERSAL ROBOTS Science fiction drama. May 24-26. Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Free. Spokane Community College Lair Auditorium, 1810 N. Greene St. (533-7387) GREAT AMERICAN TALL TALES Musical

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performed by children of the Christian Youth Theater-North Idaho. Through May 26, Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sat at 3 pm and Sun at 4 pm (May 19) and 3 pm (May 25). $9-$14. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd., CdA. (208-2775727) Disney’s AladdinThe Christian Youth Theater Spokane performs a stage adaptation of the Disney animated film. May 24-June 2. Fri-Sat at 7 pm and Sat-Sun at 3 pm. $10-$14. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. Season Kick-Off GalaCatered buffet dinner, live entertainment, live and silent auctions and more to benefit the community theater’s upcoming season. May 25 at 6 pm. $35-$50. Pend Orielle Playhouse, 240 N. Union St., Newport, Wash. (671-3389) Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are DeadComedy based on Shakespeare’s Hamlet. May 30-June 9. ThursSat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $8. SFCC Humanities Bldg. No. 5, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. (998-7515) Into the WoodsDark comedy/musical. May 31-June 29. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $10-$20. Lake City Playhouse, 1320 E. Garden Ave., Coeur d’Alene. (208667-1323)

more events

Visit for complete listings of local events. Mark Twain: One Man and His WorldA one-man show featuring Jerry Hardin. June 6-8 at 7:30 pm, June 9 at 2 pm. $12-$28. Interplayers Theater, 174 S. Howard St. (455-7529) Big RiverMusical based on The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, performed by the Coeur d’Alene Summer Theatre. June 13-22, Wed-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $32-$47. NIC Schuler Auditorium, 1000 W. Garden Ave. (208-769-7780) The Sound of MusicMusical. June 1530. Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. $5-$12. Pend Orielle Playhouse, 240 N. Union Ave., Newport. (671-3389) Same Time Next YearRomantic comedy performed by members of The JACC’s Theater Troupe. June 16 and 23 at 2 pm, June 20-22 at 7:30 pm. $10-$15. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St., Post Falls. (208457-8950)

Visual Arts

Melissa ColeThe local artists’ brightly colored, textured acrylic paintings will be on display through July. May 17-July 12. Artist reception May 17 from 5-7 pm. Free. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St., Post Falls. jacklincenter. org (208-457-8950) Nancy Stonington The Seattlebased watercolor artist’s work will be on display as a preview to the jurored watercolor exhibit in June. May 24-June 8. Artist reception May 24 from 5-8 pm. Gallery hours Tues-Sat, 10 am-8 pm, Sun 10 am-6 pm. Free. Prichard Art Gallery, 414 S. Main St., Moscow. prichardartgallery (208-885-3586) Ad InfinitumAn annual exhibition featuring the work of eight graduating seniors enrolled in EWU’s Visual Communication Design BFA program. May 24-June 6. Artist reception May 24 from 6-8 pm. Free. Gallery hours Mon-Fri 9 am-5 pm. EWU Gallery of Art, Cheney Campus. (413-6385) Connie ScherrArtist showcase. May 24-June 15. Gallery hours Thu-Sat from noon-5:30 pm. Free. Redtail Gallery, Oak St. and Sixth Ave, Sandpoint. (208-946-8066) Wind, Water and TimeCarved stone wall art by artist Sam Bates. May 24-27 from 10 am-6 pm. Entree Gallery, 1755 Reeder Bay Rd, Nordman, Idaho. (208-443-2001) ArtFest 28th annual fine arts and music festival featuring 160+ artisans, food booths, live music, a wine and beer garden and more. May 31 from noon-8 pm, June 1 from 10 am-8 pm, June 2 from 10 am-5 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Park, 300 S. Chestnut St. (456-3931) Wheelin’ ItWatercolors, batiks and pencil art of wheeled vehicles by local artists. June 1-30. Gallery hours Mon-Sat from 10 am-6 pm, Sun from 10 an-5 pm. Free. Gallery Northwest, 217 E. Sherman Ave. (208667-5700) Blackletter Typography ShowA typography art show featuring work by 10 local artists, with proceeds from drinks and poster sales benefiting the nonprofit Global Neighborhood. June 7 from 7-11 pm. STEX Motorsports, 123 E. Sprague Ave. (474-1456)


Lincoln and IdahoLecture by David Leroy, as part of the “Road to Statehood” lecture series. May 23 at 7 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Public Library, 702 Front Ave. (208-769-2315) Misquoting Jesus“Misquoting Jesus: Discrepancies in Christian Scripture” lecture and book signing with NYT bestselling author Bart D. Ehrman. May 23 at 6:30 pm. Free. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Riverside Ave. (3594860) Julia SweeneyThe author and former cast member of “Saturday Night Live” will present from her book “If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother.” May 24 at 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (8380206) Joe DestefanoThe author of “Undefeated Since 1941” about Gonzaga’s football team will read from and sign copies of his book. May 24 at 4 pm. Free. Hastings, 2512 E. 29th Ave. (328-4445) Jessica Rising and Florence Petheram The two authors who write for young readers will present from and sign copies of their latest work. May 25 at 2 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (8380206) Mark HoffmeisterThe author will read from and sign copies of his latest book “Gnosis.” May 25 at 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (838-0206) Mahlon KriebelThe author of “Battle of To-Hots-Nim-Me” will read from and sign copies of his book. May 25 at 1 pm. $5. Turnbull Wildlife Refuge, 26010 S. Smith Rd., Cheney. (498-9295) David CobbThe nature photographer will present on and sign copies of his latest collection “Quiet Beauty: The Japanese Gardens of North America.” May 29 at 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (8380206) Bruce Holbert and John Whalen The two authors will read from and sign copies of their latest work. May 30 at 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (8380206) Venerable Thubten ChodronThe Buddhist leader of Sravasti Abbey, in Newport, Wash., will discuss her commentary “Don’t Believe Everything You Think.” May 31 at 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (838-0206) n


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Flea Market - June 1st, Spokane Valley. Call for info, The Errand King, 509-434-0143. Proceeds from rentals benefit United Links Foundation, item donations also accepted.


CODE: IN0513




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Expires 7/31/2013

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Across 1. Joint 7. Perky spokeswoman in Progressive Insurance ads 10. Beehive St. capital 13. Franklin born when Franklin D. Roosevelt was president 14. Parched 15. Viking ship need 16. Columbus, by birth 17. Full or twin, e.g. 18. Wedded 19. USMC truant 20. “Why, uncle, ____ shame”: Romeo and Juliet 22. Beefy entree 23. Cooking fat 24. “____ right?” 25. ____ Tzu 27. Wearer of una corona 28. NFL three-pointers 29. Bobby-____ (1940s teenagers)

50 50 INLANDER INLANDER MAY MAY 23, 23, 2013 2013





O. Furniture or Ivana B. Astar dresses, perhaps 63. Make some calls 64. Frequently 65. “Little Shop of Horrors” demand 66. Yoga equipment 67. Adobe file format 68. More to the point Down 1. Katey of “Married ... With Children” 2. Antebellum 3. Poe’s “rare and radiant maiden” 4. “Ouch! You’re ignoring my request for a relaxing massage!”? 5. Govt. mortgage agency 6. Cool off the 27th U.S. president? 7. Cold, to Conchita 8. 2012 Lindsay Lohan TV movie “____ & Dick” 9. Lyrical tribute




















32. Lash ____ (attack) 34. Where a young girl lost her whey? 35. Hot: Fr. 38. Go on and on 40. Kept for future use 41. Sean Penn film whose title is taken from “Green Eggs and Ham” 43. Like some checking accounts 45. Refrain from the Buster Poindexter song “Hot Hot Hot” 46. “____ Calling” (2000s TV drama) 47. Pro ____ (for now) 50. Can. province 51. Veep before Al 52. Sch. with a Berkeley campus 54. Head line? 56. Fashion designer Vera 57. Zilch 58. Important time 59. [It’s gone!] 61. How a performer named Patty

...and find The

32 35



38 42



46 50


51 56









10. Load carried by a chimneysweep? 11. Swim meet assignment 12. All hands on deck? 14. Reason why the manager couldn’t get a logical response from his

THIS ANSW WEEK’s E page RS on 53

26 30


26. Medical drama set at the PrincetonPlainsboro Teaching Hospital 30. Yank’s foe 39 40 31. Teen’s room, to many a parent 44 33. 1976 Democratic presidential candidate Mo 35. AFL-____ 47 48 49 36. Actor Linden or Holbrook 52 53 37. What churchgoers used on their whitewater trip? 57 39. It’s a mosque read 61 62 42. ____ school 44. What any kid wants on Christmas morning? 65 48. offerings 68 49. Emma Bovary’s title 53. Tavern selection “six feet” 54. Salon treatment 55. Environs aide? 56. Bark 21. Out cry? 59. Mushy food 22. Popular 2000s HBO series ... and this 60. ____ school puzzle’s theme 62. Once called, in wedding notices 25. Air France flier until 2003 34








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Equal Housing Opportunity All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Law which makes it illegal to advertise any preference to, limitation or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination. This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for our real estate which is in violation of the law. Our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain on discrimination call HUD free at 1-800-669-9777. The toll free telephone number for the hearing impaired is 1-800-927-9275.

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1. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers, Jeers). 2. Provide basic info about you: name, address, phone. 3. Email it to by 3 pm Monday.

I Saw You




The SatelliteI see you almost every week (which doesn’t say much for me). You have a gorgeous smile and I melt every time I see your handsome face ~ we have had our fun but you never call(ed). I also regret not taking more time to get to know you. You know where to find me and you have my number- give this short blonde a 2nd chance?

getting it back for me. I had to rush out of town after the parade and without help from all of you, I’d have been in a world of hurt! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

beyond the normal human ability. In a day and age of hiding behind normalcy and status-quo, you are honest about yourself and share the truth about how you’re feeling and who you are! An interaction with you is refreshing and leaves a person feeling better about themselves. How do you fit all the people and things you care about into one heart!? You drive your blue car around downtown offering socks and waters, but instead give anyone you meet a piece of yourself. Cheers to the best damn citizen of this town. May the kindness and love you hand out freely come back to you one thousandfold.

makes me feel like everything will be okay, as long as I still have an angel in my life. jj

Rocket Bakery in Millwood. Beautiful blue eyes, with that adorable child. I’ve seen you more than once. Can I join your next bike ride across the river? Safewayon E. Sprague on Saturday evening. You were in the check out line behind me. Cute petite brunette with your toddler. We exchanged smiles. I wanted to say hi and ask for your number, but I chickened out.


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52 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013

My Missing Dog On Sunday morning my dog went missing. On Sunday afternoon, after looking for him frantically, I posted an ad to CL lost and found and pets. I

To connect

Put a non-identifying email M.J.W. I have no idea what I did to address in your message, like deserve an amazing man like you! I “” — not have never been as in love or happy “” as am I with you in my life. I am completely and ridiculously in love with you! You’re AwesomeNew job, check. Wedding planned, check. Started new business, check. Made your fiance fall in love with you all over again because of your strength, check. I love you and can’t wait to be married to you. I Miss YouTo all my south hill, Blue spark, Waddell’s friends, I miss you a lot! I’m sorry I had to move away and I miss going down town, trivia and playing dodgeball tournaments with you! I hope I can make it over to see you soon. - T

At the Shadle Shopping Center

A Big Cheersto the SPD officer who responded to a hit and run/ property damage incident on our property last Thursday night. He was timely, professional, funny and more than thorough. He even tracked down the showerbag who fled and hid in his house. We’re not typically rah rah SPD but he really kicked ass and we appreciate his efforts.

The Teen CenterI wanted to thank you for the last six months. I have had an amazing time with all of you and will miss you very much. I know you will all grow up into strong independent adults. Thank you for teaching me how to play Super Smash Brothers, Just Dance, Cone Ball, and how to cook.. okay lies, still not good at that! Have an amazing summer and don’t cause Jake too much trouble! You know who you are. Xoxo Kelsey Good SamaritanHooray for the very kind person who found my coin purse with drivers license, debit card, and cash in it at the Jr Lilac Parade! You turned it in to the police with everything untouched. I can’t express how thankful I am for this! Thanks also to Officer Kevin H. For tracking down my phone number and calling me to let me know it was safely in your hands. And finally, thanks to my little sister Pat for meeting Officer Kevin and

checked a couple my email and the ads a couple of times before I had to go to work that evening. I got a chance to check my email. Cheers to the person who saw the ad of a dog ‘found’ that I hadn’t even noticed yet. Cheers to the family that found him and made him comfortable, who was willing to keep him until I can come get him tomorrow afternoon. Thank you for not taking him to the pound, I don’t have the money to get him out. Thank you Spokane for my dog. Wonderful Good SamaritanOn May 19 about 2:30 pm I was west bound on I 90 at mile marker 299 when I blew a tire. I got the van pulled over and started to find the jack and spare tire. This wonderful man a retired disabled Navy veteran in a yellow Jeep Wrangler, WA plates pulled over and asked if we needed help. I said yes. He made me and my friend step away from the freeway and changed the tire for us. So I honor of ALL veterans active, retired, disabled THANK YOU for your service. I learned his name was Chris. Thanks Chris you are truly a gentleman. I hope karma does something wonderful for you. I Miss You TooHave not stopped thinking about you, for nine months now. My heart belongs to you. Please make it beat again.

My Sweet Lilly Jotoday my love for you grows. My desire to be a better man, to be more than I’ve ever been before fuels me with each awakening to seize this day and be all that I can be. We don’t get these days back and I am glad for each one I get to spend with you. Your Kevin I Didn’t See You You: Blonde, magnetic, recently sun-kissed from the Cabo sun. Me: tall, manly, well trained at doing the worm. This last week without you to entertain me while I ate my TacoTaco, blackened, add cilantro with a side of green salsa has made for a long work week. No epic high-fives? No one to dance with? It was so unbearable I was this close to quitting. Luckily you will be back soon enough to see this, cheesy novelty gift in hand, and all will be right in the world. The clouds will part, a cartoon bird will chirp and land on your shoulder, and as the glowing sun sets behind you upon entering our work I will finally hear those longingly yearned words: “Hello, Lova’ !” Okay , bye. Je t’aimerai toujoursOf all the things I’ve lost and missed out on in my life you’re going to be the one that I miss the most. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and wonder how you’re doing. I wish we could sit around and have conversations like we use to. I’ve never found anyone that was as easy to talk to as you and how time would just stand still like the world had stopped. If I could do it all over again, I would a million times, even if it brought me right back to here. Someday, I hope we’ll find each other again. If not I’ll always remember you for that brief moment in time that we knew each other.

Jeers Disrespectful To the jackwad who allowed her little dog (encouraged her little dog!) to do his business in the Greenwood Cemetery Memorial Terrace on Mother’s Day. What possesses you to be so thoughtless and disprespectful? You look entirely old enough to know better and your cute little dogs with their little cute floopy pony tails, really? It would have taken you another 5 seconds to walk them across the path to the forest edge. It’s wrecks of humanity like you that really make me worry about the future of civilization as far as teaching our children about taking care of ourselves and our little patch of earth and being polite and kind and thoughtful. Assclown. DOT To the Department Of Transportation: I realize you have only 3 or 4 months to complete construction projects because you require hot weather to do them, but MUST you construct on every road at once? Every year the same roads are worked on and every year all the roads are taken and you tell us on the news to “Take a different Route”. Why can’t you work on one North/South road and one East/West road at the same time? Please pave the whole road and do it right the first time so you can stop wasting our hard earned tax dollars. Thanks. Rob Brezsny Bring back the horoscopes! I need somebody else to tell me how to be and what to expect from my day! Shhhh! I understand that this is a child friendly library, I get it. But what I don’t get is the adults talking as if they are in a large crowd, so they shout their conversations. Many people come here to study

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Courtesy of Spokane Loves You!To the tall, thin woman who is loud and wonderful. I Love YouThrough thick and You are kind to everyone who thin you’ve been there to see me talks to you. You can’t walk a city Winners drawn bi-weekly at random. through. You’re the rock I hold block without someone reaching Must be 18 or older to enter. on to when times get tough, that out to talk to you. You are giving “I Saw You” is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.




and read, as well as use your wi-fi. But it is difficult trying to get anything done because of your obnoxiously loud chatter! And to make matters worse it nothing is done to quiet down the chatter. Now maybe I’m just a grouchy old timer, but I thought that libraries were a study friendly place, and not a zoo or a daycare. Ironically, the staff got after someone for not using headphones when their music was not even all that loud, and certainly not as loud as the conversations they like to have with everyone ringing up. I understand that you want to catch up, and I wouldn’t mind it so much if you would just learn the art of whispering. Many of us do have things to get done, and cannot concentrate when someone in the room is literally shouting their conversations.

considering you let your son stay with them, yet you act like they put your son in harm’s way (they did not). Your comment is littered in contradiction: freethinkers, humanist, and positively free from fears of fictitious biblical elements; I’m going to go out on a limb and say you are delusional in your thoughts of yourself. Blasting these people for an innocent evening at their church? You are the type of Atheist that I despise; you fall right in with the “holier than thou” type of church goer. Your last statement about their “Imaginary God” was below the belt. I think you need some lessons in freethinking, and being a humanist, because those involve appreciating people as a whole and not their beliefs. I hope your son will someday be able to know about all religions, so he can independently make up his mind about what he, as a human, wants to believe or not. “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

lifetime. I wish you nothing but the best and maybe someday things can be different and you would let me be the one to take care of you for all your life. Your sunshine will always be with me and in my heart. Love you!

School Fundraising  Jeers to parents and schools who send children out into the community to sell things door-to-door to raise money for sports, trips, extracurricular activities, and such. If the parents cannot afford to, or are unwilling to, pay for their child’s activities, why do they think strangers such as I would be so inclined to pitch in? What’s most irritating is that these children usually ring my doorbell just as I am fixing or eating dinner. Jeers SectionJeers to the Inlander for still having the jeers section. It is time to get rid of the jeers section once and for all, like the horoscope. Anonymous badmouthing does not make for a better society. Burglar to the person who broke into my apartment while I was on vacation. I feel very sorry for you. It must be horrible to live a life where you just leech off other peoples hard work. It must make you feel really bad about yourself and make it even harder to finally get your act together. Self loathing can be powerful, especially when you finally notice you live your whole life to hurt other people. I am sure it is even harder for your conscience that you steal from poor families in low income buildings. Even worse if it is your own building and you have to see us every day. I really feel bad for you because I don’t know how you can recover from being this kind of person, but I hope you do. RE: Dear Wonderful FriendsThe jeers you posted about your friends bringing your son to church made me cringe, and I too am a non-believer. You say that you respect and cherish them, and you obviously trust them

Shame On You To the parents and six obnoxious boys I had the privilege of sitting next to at the Lilac Parade. Every single one of you disgusts me. Not only did your boys hit multiple patrons with their football prior to the parade even starting (including a retired Marine and police officer), but you just sat their and ignored it. As the parade progressed, these boys became more disgraceful. I, along with everyone else around me, had had enough by the time these idiotic boys of yours had ripped their shirts off and went running up and down the road. To my surprise, you gave them money upon their return. You paid them to act like asshats. The topper of RE: Dear Wonderful Friends your amazing parenting skills was This jeer specifically goes to the when the friends and families of “wonderful friends” mentioned in fallen soldiers were marching with the jeer. (you who did the jeering photos of the ones they lost and may stop reading here.) Now, as your disgusting boys had removed I understand it, you’re devoted their shirts (again), were dancing, Christians hanging out with and throwing poppers at each “atheists” and “freethinkers”... other. Multiple times they bumped Yeah, this is not a good idea, into the people marching. Their as they will never understand lack of respect made me sick. What your servitude to Christ. And is wrong with you and your kids? will ultimately sway you toward How can you condone their actions disbelief in an effort to “liberate” during such a sensitive moment of you from what they see as tyranny. the parade? If this is how you allow I mean, take a look around you. The your hood rats to act in public, world is just what was said it would maybe you should all stay at home, be. As it is , we’re mostly seen and spare the rest of us. as fools to them anyway. So it’s probably just as well should they Missed ConnectionMe: Pink haired continue to ignore God as they may girl in the tan Oldsmobile heading never have any true understanding east on 2nd Avenue, a one way anyway. We know different. So, arterial, driving about 32 mph, please, stand solid. Evermore, enjoying my day. You: a middle those of us here in the “cloudy aged man in an older truck, short abyss” would like to encourage hair, sunglasses. You were driving your faith. But also to warn you to at quite a responsible speed, not marginalize what you’ve come but the only problem was it was to trust and love and to also bear in directly perpendicular to how I mind Matthew 7:6. was travelling. I slammed on my breaks and came within a breath For All The MistakesI have made of connecting with you. Your face in my life, for every bad decision was peaceful and contemplative as that I have made, for all the pain I you drove through the intersection. have gone through and for every obstacle I have encountered. I Park Responsibly I am all in would not change a single thing favor of everyone who needs a in my past because the paths I handicapped card for their car to chose to take at the time, led me have one. Please remember that to you beautiful. The love I have when you park to use your card been waiting for, the love I have responsibly. Do not leave someone always longed for and the true in the car. It doesn’t work that way. love I honestly thought couldn’t If you are not taking the person exist. The “one” true love does with you, you are supposed to park exist! Shame on me for letting in a regular parking area. All to that love fail. Shame on me for not often the person who needs that realizing what I had and that very spot can’t use it because of a failure few people get to experience in a to read the brochure. Thanks from someone who used it for their elderly parent. C

S L F L O I F F O A R D I R A T H A O N E E Z I S N A O T E W S A T I S L H I H S I M A D S O X E R S F G S Y ’s T U F F E T T A T O U THIS WEEK! S E T B Y S R K E A W Y S N D U A A C H N O F E E I A M S A M T E M T R U E L O E O L U C A L N A D N F L D N A D A W A N G P A R T D R A G N I F P O O E R A F E E D M E T O L A R E F T E R S E R P D F M A T feet





Crazy Driver Jeers to you in your nice new Cadillac as you passed me in the right hand lane driving 90 m.p.h. through Post Falls, I enjoyed your single finger salute waving repeatedly out your window as I traveled at 3 miles over the legal posted speed only to see you gain three car lengths when you caught up to the rest of the evening traffic. I wish many speeding tickets for you and your shiny black penial compensation. My hope for humanity has dropped another notch thanks to you.


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MAY 23, 2013 INLANDER 53

The Bike Crash Kid Reflections on bikes, mortality and transcendence By Zach Hagadone


t’s National Bike Month, which got me thinking about a neighbor kid from my childhood. We grew up in the woods outside Sandpoint, and there weren’t many other kids around, so we had to make our own fun. Most of that revolved around bikes, and my brother and I were pretty tame on two wheels — the most daring feats involving what seemed like precipitous jumps, but which were probably no higher than a foot off the ground. Well, this neighbor of mine, his idea of a good time was to ride his beat-up old Huffy to the top of a high hill on our dirt road, teeter at the top and pedal as furi-

54 INLANDER MAY 23, 2013

ously as he could to the bottom. At the magic point, just before the hill started to level off and his speed was at its greatest, this kid would let go of the handlebars and push himself off the seat — hanging in midair for a frozen moment as the bike continued racing, suddenly riderless, into the ditch. For a heartbeat, he was weightless, and I imagine it must have felt like he’d never come down as he was propelled up and out into the air, seemingly gaining elevation as the slope of the road fell away. It was pretty majestic, I remember, until he came down in an explosion of dust and gravel, skidding and

rolling across the rocks, wearing nothing but shorts and a T-shirt. I always expected him to break something, or cry, or — at the very least — stop intentionally wiping himself out at the bottom of the hill. But he never did any of those things; instead, he’d hit the ground like a meteor and spring back up, blood streaming down his knees, dirt in his teeth and laughing like a maniac. My neighbor did this at least once every day during the summer, and it was a ritual that continued until he and his extended family suddenly disappeared from the complex of trailer homes they’d established across the road from us. It was a weird expression of human will that I don’t think I fully understood at the time — and probably still don’t get. Something about mortality, or transcendence, or maybe it was as simple as the enjoyment to be found in beating the living hell out of your own body. I suspect that he just thought it was fun to fall off his bike, but his brutal commitment was equal parts gruesome and inspiring. Which, if nothing else, shows just how far you can go with a bike. n A version of this story first appeared in Boise Weekly.



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Inlander 5/23/2013  
Inlander 5/23/2013