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How the Supreme Court and Justice Scalia are missing the point when it comes to gun regulation

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My great-grandfather is a time traveler — reliving a lifetime of memories with Alzheimer’s PAGE 54


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The English Way Justice Scalia finds his rationale for an expansive Second Amendment in Common Law — so why does Great Britain have such strict gun control?





he 2008 Supreme Court ruling on District of Columbia v. Heller is an example of a bad case making even worse law. The D.C. law overreached — it banned ownership of guns, except those grandfathered in, and even those were to be “unloaded, disassembled or bound by a trigger lock.” Unless the Court just wanted any case, regardless of merit, to serve as a vehicle for making a much more fundamental point, it should have sent D.C. back to the drawing board for a rewrite. That law was silly. Let’s say you confront a bad guy in your house. What are you supposed to do? “Hey fella, wait while I assemble my .38 special.” What’s the point? But rather than pass, the Court used it to create an even worse law. Its ruling declared that the Second Amendment guarantees a personal right rather than a collective right.


ntonin Scalia, who wrote for the majority, claims to be an originalist; he borrowed this costume from the late Justice Robert Bork. James Boyle, professor of law at Duke, has taken much of the bloom off Bork’s academic rose. He observes that Bork had been successively “a libertarian, a process theorist, a devotee of judicial restraint, a believer of neutral principles,

the right to keep and carry arms. Miller said, as we have explained, that the sorts of weapons protected were those “in common use at the time.” … We think that limitation is fairly supported by the historical tradition of prohibiting the carrying of “dangerous and unusual weapons.” Might we now further agree that the Court would have no trouble at all with laws banning semi-automatic rifles? They would seem to qualify as both dangerous and unusual. From here it is just a hop and skip to ban those mega-round magazines and the use of certain kinds of ammunition.


calia bases his “original meaning” argument mostly on English common law — he quotes 18th century English jurist William Blackstone over and over again, while making just two references to James Madison (who just happened to have written the Second Amendment). But given Scalia’s use of Common Law as the beacon of understanding, and given that he agrees to accept the English as arbiters of its meaning, how is it that Great Britain has some of the most restrictive gun regulation anywhere on Earth? In response to that ubiquitous American bumper sticker, “Guns Don’t Kill People, People Kill People,” our English cousins might respond with their usual dry wit: “Oh, I say old chap, about that bumper sticker — just so much drivel, don’t you think? People pull the triggers — guns don’t just blast away on their own, now do they?” As Scalia relies on the British for his reasoning, here’s a fact: The United Kingdom’s rate of gunshot deaths per thousand is one-fortieth of what we experience here in the land of the free. And since 9/11, when nearly 3,000 were killed, we have witnessed upwards of 300,000 gunshot deaths in America — and double that in injuries. James Madison, the original originalist, would, I believe, suggest that we get back in touch with historical originalism, as distinct from Bork and Scalia’s when-it-suits-them originalism. So yes, let’s get back in touch with what the English actually gave us — a legal tradition that allowed Great Britain to pass sensible gun regulations, with good results. I refer to what Justices Stephen Breyer and John Paul Stevens would call “a living Constitution.” 

Since 9/11, when nearly 3,000 were killed, we have witnessed upwards of 300,000 gunshot deaths in America. a ‘law and economist’ and an advocate of two distinct forms of originalism.” He also points out that at each step along the way, Bork claimed that it was his way (whichever way that happened to be at the moment) or the unprincipled way. Scalia’s “original meaning” test having been exposed, why not leave the issues it creates and just move on to what Scalia actually wrote. Consider two pertinent excerpts: …nothing in our opinion should be taken to cast doubt on longstanding prohibitions on the possession of firearms by felons and the mentally ill, or laws forbidding the carrying of firearms in sensitive places such as schools and government buildings, or laws imposing conditions and qualifications on the commercial sale of arms. From this, can we not assume that Scalia would have no problem with background checks, nor restrictions as regards where and when one can bear arms? Here’s the second excerpt from the D.C. v. Heller ruling: We also recognize another important limitation on


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s there any institution less popular than Congress? It turns out, yes, there is — the Internal Revenue Service. So it’s not surprising that all week, Congress has been piling on the IRS for its special reviews of so-called “social welfare” groups active in politics. The agency made a dumb mistake, and people will likely lose their jobs. But the real damage is that it only confirms what too many demagogues already say about government. The fact is, since the Citizens United case allowed unlimited election spending, the number of groups seeking to pump money into elections and asking the IRS to grant them tax-free status has doubled. Crossroads GPS (Romney supporters) and Priorities USA (Obama supporters) were not looking after your welfare by pumping hundreds of millions in secret contributions into the last election. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg of tax avoidance today. While Congress is putting on its best outrage act, it’s protecting countless tax avoiders. The Marketplace Fairness Act simply requires all online retailers to collect sales tax for the states. Right now, most online sellers do not, giving them a major advantage over local businesses here in the Inland Northwest. Who could be against something that makes the business landscape fair and, in Washington state’s case, restores an estimated $845 million in revenue every two years? The House of Representatives — that’s who. The Senate easily passed the Marketplace Fairness Act last week, but Speaker of the House John Boehner said he “probably” won’t support it. Doing nothing just leaves the thumb on the scales in favor of tax avoiders. There’s an outrage for you. The list of tax shirkers happily not paying their way is long. American companies, for example, have sent their money on a one-way vacation, stowing their profits elsewhere; $1.9 trillion in American profits are currently parked, untaxed, overseas. Tax havens like the Cayman Islands and nutty loopholes in our tax code cost America about $250 billion a year. Carried interest and other tax tricks result in a third of the wealthiest Americans paying less than 15 percent in taxes, while the upper-income tax rate has been 35 percent. (Remember Romney berating the 47 percent for being freeloaders while paying just 14 percent on his income in 2011?) And some American corporations have finally figured out how to pay zero in taxes Our relationship to taxes must change — better policies, better attitudes. Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. was known as the “Great Dissenter” for taking up unpopular causes. Today it seems there’s nothing less popular than paying for our democracy together. If you look above the entrance to the beleaguered IRS headquarters in D.C., you’ll see Holmes’ eternal words: “Taxes are what we pay for a civilized society.” 



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What do you think of the FDA proposal to put cancer warnings on tanning beds?

Melissa Murphy Consistently ranked as a Top Ten producing agent since 2008

ADRIENNE MCCOMBS: Why aren’t they already on? LAURIE DRETKE: I hope they have plans to put the warning on the sun. I will pay to see that...


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Ding! Ding! Ding! Stop the presses, hold the phone: Hell has frozen over — I actually agree with something George Nethercutt says. In his latest guest opinion (“Keeping America,” 5/9/13), he promotes the idea of our students actually learning about how the government works. I used to have American government classes, back when the schools actually taught real history and real civics. I had the opportunity to talk with an American history teacher recently, and in our “conversation” about the Republican Party and their recent machinations over the budget, jobs and economic disparities between the middle class and the uber-wealthy, I asked if he thought the approach was more Jeffersonian or Hamiltonian. Forward to the blank stare, the open mouth and the inevitable question of what I meant. Schools need to teach not only how the government works, but the history of how it got to where it is today — you know, the Dred Scott Case, the Trail of Tears, the great emancipation, the Robber Barons, the Great Depression and New Deal, the War Powers Act and the notation by a clerk on a Supreme Court opinion that corporations use to justify they are citizens and have the same rights as a natural born person. Things like that — things that may help explain how we got into the mess we are in, politically and economically, and how to avoid it in the future. Unless they understand the hows and whys of our history, these students will be rehashing the same issues that have been plaguing us for centuries. Let’s actually educate students so they can attempt to solve the political morass that is our government — the best government money can buy, literally. ED SIMPSON Spokane Valley, Wash.

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8 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013

We know Mother’s Day is a day to honor women for the good they have done. However, some Congressional folks just don’t agree. Ironically, one of those Congressional women is Cathy McMorris Rodgers of Washington state’s 5th district (“Party Planner,” 5/9/13).

McMorris Rodgers has shown her lack of caring for women by opposing raising the minimum wage, voting to stop overtime pay for working families and opposing the Lily Ledbetter Paycheck Fairness Act. She was adamantly against the Violence Against Women Act until 10 minutes after her amendment against it was defeated, then voted for it. She is against any background checks for gun purchases. She supports decreasing funding for Head Start and education as well as supporting the layoff of thousands of teachers, most of whom are women. In health care, she opposes the Affordable Care Act and supports decreasing funding for Planned Parenthood. She solidly supports the sequester, which will cost 750,000 jobs. We know what she gave us for Mother’s Day; I wonder what she got? PATRICIA BATES Spokane, Wash.


“Despicable, unconstitutional, ridiculous, immature, idiotic, and mendacious.” And that’s just how Tennessee newspapers characterized the state’s “ag-gag” bill now awaiting the governor’s signature. “Ag-gag” bills criminalize whistle-blowing that exposes animal abuses, unsafe working conditions and environmental problems on factory farms. Instead of encouraging whistle-blowing and preventing these violations, ag-gag laws ensure that consumers and regulatory authorities are kept in the dark. Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, Montana, North Dakota and Utah have enacted ag-gag laws, but such bills were defeated in eight other states, thanks to a strong outcry from the public and newspaper editors. Thirty newspapers and 60 national animal protection, workers’ rights, civil liberties, public health, food safety, and environmental conservation organizations have recently gone on record as strongly opposing aggag bills. Our government must never restrict our right and obligation to know where our food comes from. TRAE BAILEY Spokane, Wash.

CORRIE KENNEDY: I’ve never used a tanning booth but if I were a user I highly doubt a warning sticker would halt me. Everyone knows the risks involved especially if they’re already in a tanning salon. GRETCHEN ELIZABETH THYFAULT: It would not be changing much. They should probably use their money on more important food-related issues instead of funding and supporting the big companies. JSTN L VN LSBRG: Might as well put cancer warnings on 90 percent of what we buy at the grocery store then... MO PALMER: All for it. NICK HENDERSON: Yay! Another pointless endeavor and waste of federal money! The people that care don’t use the beds, and the people that use the beds don’t care. JEFF CLEARY: It’s not a food or drug, so what the hell is the FDA involved in it for anyways? Less government, more using your heads people. ALI CAT: Like it truly matters. Most people are just trying to get by. This is a huge waste of time and finances that can go towards schools. CARRIE JACKSON: No one will read it!! What’s the point. A sticker won’t change someone’s mind. Education will. KRISTEN SPELLER: It is similar to the warning labels on cigarettes and people still smoke. People who tan know the risks and choose to do it anyway. Same with cigarettes. MELISSA BRADY: Waste of time. Less common sense warnings = less idiots without common sense. 

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 9

ok, so my subs really aren't gourmet and we're not french either. my subs just taste a little better, that's all! I wanted to call it jimmy john's tasty sandwiches, but my mom told me to stick with gourmet. She thinks whatever I do is gourmet, but i don't think either of us knows what it means. so let's stick with tasty!

Established in Charleston, IL in 1983 to add to students GPA and general dating ability.


All of my tasty sub sandwiches are a full 8 inches of homemade French bread, fresh veggies and the finest meats & cheese I can buy! And if it matters to you, we slice everything fresh everyday in this store, right here where you can see it. (No mystery meat here!)

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Fresh sliced turkey breast, topped with lettuce, tomato, sliced cucumber, and mayo. (The original) The original Italian sub with genoa salami, provolone, capicola, onion, lettuce, tomato, & a real tasty Italian vinaigrette. (Hot peppers by request)


Layers of provolone cheese separated by real avocado spread, sliced cucumber, lettuce, tomato, and mayo. (Truly a gourmet sub not for vegetarians only . . . . . . . . . . . peace dude!)


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freebies (subs & clubs only) Onion, lettuce, tomato, mayo, sliced cucumber, Dijon mustard, oil & vinegar, and oregano.

My club sandwiches have twice the meat or cheese, try it on my fresh baked thick sliced 7-grain bread or my famous homemade french bread!

#7 GOURMET SMOKED HAM CLUB A full 1/4 pound of real applewood smoked ham, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, & real mayo!


Choice roast beef, smoked ham, provolone cheese, Dijon mustard, lettuce, tomato, & mayo.


Real genoa salami, Italian capicola, smoked ham, and provolone cheese all topped with lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, and our homemade Italian vinaigrette. (You hav'ta order hot peppers, just ask!)


A full 1/4 pound of fresh sliced medium rare roast beef, provolone, lettuce, tomato, & mayo.


Fresh sliced turkey breast, applewood smoked ham, provolone, and tons of lettuce, tomato, and mayo! (A very traditional, yet always exceptional classic!)


Fresh baked turkey breast, provolone cheese, avocado spread, sliced cucumber, lettuce, tomato, and mayo! (It's the real deal, and it ain't even California.)

#13 GOURMET VEGGIE CLUB® Double provolone, real avocado spread, sliced cucumber, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (Try it on my 7-grain whole wheat bread. This veggie sandwich is world class!)


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GIANT club sandwiches

THE J.J. GARGANTUAN® This sandwich was invented by Jimmy John's brother Huey. It's huge enough to feed the hungriest of all humans! Tons of genoa salami, sliced smoked ham, capicola, roast beef, turkey & provolone, jammed into one of our homemade French buns then smothered with onions, mayo, lettuce, tomato, & our homemade Italian dressing.

Roast beef, turkey breast, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. An American classic, certainly not invented by J.J. but definitely tweaked and fine-tuned to perfection!


The same as our #3 Totally Tuna except this one has a lot more. Fresh housemade tuna salad, provolone, cucumber, lettuce, & tomato.


Fresh sliced turkey breast, bacon, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (JJ's original turkey & bacon club)


Real applewood smoked ham and bacon with lettuce, tomato & mayo, what could be better!


"YOUR MOM WANTS YOU TO EAT AT JIMMY JOHN'S!" ® © 1 9 8 5 , 2 0 0 2 , 2 0 0 3 , 2 0 0 4 , 2 0 0 7 , 2 0 0 8 J I M M Y J O H N ’ S F R A N C H I S E , L L C A L L R I G H T S R E S E RV E D . We R e s e r ve T h e R i g h t To M a k e A n y M e n u Ch a n g e s .

10 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013



deep divide has emerged among Republicans over whether to waste Congress’ time investigating Benghazi talking points or repealing Obamacare, GOP lawmakers confirmed this week. House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.), sounded the first discordant note at a briefing, telling reporters, “The time for wasting day after day investigating Benghazi is over. The American people are counting on us to waste our time repealing Obamacare yet again.” Warning that “the American people don’t have an endless appetite for meaningless political theater,” Cantor added, “If we’re going to do something that’s purely symbolic and detached from reality, I say it should be repealing Obamacare for the 30th or 40th time.” Rep. Cantor’s comments drew a strong rebuke from Darrell Issa (R-Calif.), who has spearheaded the investigation into Benghazi: “Quite frankly, we have all the time

in the world to blow repealing Obamacare. The moment to waste our time investigating Benghazi is now.” Noting that previous attempts to repeal Obamacare had cost approximately $50 million, Issa said, “I think we’re entitled to spend at least that much, if not more, investigating Benghazi again and again and again.” Elsewhere, GOP lawmakers planned more hearings on, in the words of Issa, “Hillary Clinton’s high poll numbers and what can be done to make them lower. “With the help of Fox News, we have brutally attacked Hillary Clinton for months, and yet she remains more popular than ever,” Issa added. n For more fake news from Andy Borowitz, visit


The On-Call Economy S BY JIM HIGHTOWER

tep right up, folks, and take your chances in the Amazing New American Workplace. Constantly high unemployment! Low wages always! No employee bargaining power! A corporate paradise! This paradise has enriched the already rich investor elite and rewarded top executives with multimillion-dollar pay packages. It also lets corporations treat the masses of people in today’s workforce like Kleenex: Just use ‘em and toss ‘em — after all, they’re cheap, plentiful… and disposable. Indeed, taskmasters-in-suits have now redefined the term “hired” to mean that you’re tethered to a corporation full-time, but you actually work and get paid for only the few hours a week when the boss calls. This nefarious practice, known as “on-call shifts,” is all the rage among national retail chains. Such giants as Abercrombie & Fitch, Gap, and Urban Outfitters require employees to work without set schedules and to be available to have their strings yanked at any time, day or night, even on weekends, with as little as two hours’ notice. Likewise,

if customer traffic in a store is slow, retail workers who got dressed up, battled the morning commute, and reported on time, can simply be sent away after an hour or so — with no pay for their lost hours. A recent survey of some 400 retail employees in New York City found that only 17 percent have a set schedule. Those with no set hours also have no set income — and no life. If you’re at the beck and call of the boss, what do you do with your children, how do you make a doctor’s appointment, what if you’re taking a class or trying to work a second job? This shameful “on-call” practice says that the corporation owns you and that abuse of workers is a legitimate business practice in America. To help stop it, contact the Retail Action Project at retailactionproject. org. n For more from America’s populist, check out

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 11

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Lorie Arnold at Heron Pond Farms: “You’re not going to get anything more local than right here.”

Local Limits

What stands between your shopping cart and local farmers BY HEIDI GROOVER


t only takes two words. Lorie Arnold kneels down on the dusty ground and yells, in the same sugary inflection people use to talk to puppies: “Baby girls!” A passel of young Nubian goats rush out the barn door, poking their noses through the fence so they’re face to face with Arnold, touching their noses to hers. At the same time, five older goats push their way up alongside her, nuzzling her cheek, their floppy ears brushing her shoulders. With her brown hair pulled backed into a tight ponytail, Arnold rattles off each goat’s name (this year’s kids have a fairy tale theme; last year it was ’50s and ’60s sitcoms). She knows how old each one is and what its personality is like. She bottle-fed most of them the night they were born and counts on them for milk every summer afternoon.

Arnold, owner of Heron Pond Farms near Tower Mountain in Spokane, sells goat cheese at Main Market, Rocket Market and Saunders Cheese Market and to restaurants like Casper Fry and South Perry Pizza, as well as some heritage pork. The operation is vibrant and increasingly successful — with more goats each year, she hopes to sell at Huckleberry’s soon — but most grocery shoppers in Spokane won’t drop Arnold’s products into their baskets. She’s not able to catch the eye or meet the huge demand of big grocery stores. “You’re not going to get anything more local than right here. I am still very small,” Arnold says. “Big corporate stores work with big corporate people.” Only about 2 percent of the food people in the


Spokane region buy is grown in the area, according to Natalie Tauzin, a healthy communities specialist at the Spokane Regional Health District. That’s despite the county being home to about 2,500 farms selling products with a market value of more than $117 million, according to the 2007 Census of Agriculture, the most recent data available. It’s a seemingly backwards system that’s been developing here and across the country as agriculture has become more industrialized and centralized. Regions have specialized in and focused on certain types of production instead of diversifying what they grow and sell. That’s left areas across the country, including Eastern Washington, with growers who export their goods for processing and production before they’re seen by grocery store shoppers. Now, Tauzin and others hope they can start to change the system at the local level. A new regional food council is in the works to identify barriers to sourcing local food and solicit a study of the region’s food economy — hard data they could use to make the case for new processing plants or legislation to help small farmers — with the goal of getting local food consumption up to 10 percent of the total by 2020. ...continued on next page

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 13



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Farm Assistant Ian Case finishes milking a goat by hand at Heron Pond Farms. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

en Meter runs a Minneapolis-based research company that studies regional food systems, mixing business, economic and social analysis. He says he’s done 95 studies in 32 states trying to give people looking to improve access to local food “the power to explain what’s happening” in their regions. He hasn’t analyzed the Spokane region, but says he believes its results would be similar to a study he did of an area of north-central Montana called the Golden Triangle. There, wheat makes up a major part of local agriculture and farmers lose about $64 million a year in production costs — a loss his analysis found could be lessened with more local food distribution instead of exports. Spokane City Council President Ben Stuckart, one of the food council leaders, says the group plans to commission one of Meter’s studies on Spokane’s food economy. Such studies cost between $10,000 and $30,000, Stuckart says, and the group is in talks with other foodconscious organizations that could be potential donors. But it won’t be as easy as just attracting a vegetable processing plant or slaughterhouse. Other, more complex problems stand between farmers and shoppers, from the cost of farmland to federal subsidies that make corn-syrup-laden processed foods so cheap to the multimilliondollar insurance policies many food distribution companies require of even the smallest farmers. Risks plague both ends of the process, the farmers and the buyers, says Pat Munts, who helps farmers improve their production and market their crops at the WSU Spokane County Extension and the Spokane Conservation District. Stores have to be willing to take a risk on small farmers, and farmers have to know the store’s demand will be enough to justify increased insurance or new tools needed to increase production. “We have a core of people here in town who go out and look for locally grown food,” Munts says. “We need to take that from activists to get the mainline grocery buyer to be willing to step out and explore a little bit.” Tauzin ticks off the same barriers, adding that it can be difficult to convince buyers that local matters. Shoppers are used to seeing tomatoes year-round, sometimes for less than $1 a pound,

she says, but for a small farmer investing months and money into growing tomatoes to support his or her family, $1 isn’t enough. While the Health District’s primary focus is on getting people to eat healthy food — no matter where it comes from — she also sees increased local agriculture as a chance to create better jobs, which could give more people the money to buy higher quality or local food. “It’s more than just consuming. It’s the whole network,” Tauzin says. “It’s very complex but it doesn’t mean it’s insurmountable.”


he efforts to open the food market to more local growers could extend into Spokane’s backyards. With the help of 50 people who signed up at a regional food conference last month, Stuckart plans to craft an urban farming ordinance by the end of the year. As it stands, Spokane city residents can have up to four animals and aren’t allowed to sell what they grow on residential land. Stuckart wants to allow more animals, hoofed animals like goats and sale of homegrown food. Similar efforts focused mostly on which animals are allowed in residential areas have gained traction (and some backlash over noise concerns) in Missoula, Coeur d’Alene and Wenatchee. Councilman Mike Allen says he found himself up against the law last year when he wanted to have chickens along with his dog and cat. “Economic development happens on a lot of different levels,” Allen says. “One of the base ones is that people who want to make a living growing food or making crafts shouldn’t necessarily have to live in the country. They should, if they have the space, be able to do that in the city.” Munts says urban changes would help many of the people she sees in her farming and gardening classes who want to start on a very small scale before investing in something bigger. Meter says such operations could be the future of farming. “Urban agriculture will be essential,” Meter says. “I think in the future as oil prices get more expensive, we may not eat certain foods unless they’re in walking distance from our house.” 


Heal Thyself What happens when an addict owns a prescription pad? BY DANIEL WALTERS


he announcements pour out constantly from the Washington State Department of Health, broadcasting the crimes of once-trusted medical professionals. They list sexual misconduct, physical abuse, medical incompetence and financial exploitation. But other times, they highlight a different sort of struggle: addiction. Richland dentist James Huffman “intentionally overdosed on Vicodin he took from stock at his dental practice.” Everett dentist Russell Clark had his license suspended after charges that he prescribed one patient “excessive amounts of controlled substances,” split the drugs with him, and “contributed to the hospitalization of at least one person.” With pill-popping protagonists headlining TV shows House and Nurse Jackie, the premise of doctors and dentists addicted to their own supply is familiar. But in the real medical world, an entire infrastructure has developed to help heal the healers. The Washington Physicians Health Program (WPHP), a small, independent nonprofit, was founded in 1986 to guide the recovery of health professionals. This month Gov. Jay Inslee signed a new bill that doubled the license renewal fee for dentists from $25 to $50 to help increase the funding for that program. (Physicians already pay a $50 renewal fee.) “I don’t think anybody is immune from the power of addiction,” says Rep. Marcus Riccelli, D-Spokane, the bill’s sponsor. The idea of helping doctors recover from addiction hasn’t always been accepted. “A number of years ago, in the ’80s and early ’90s, we didn’t have a way to deal with these people other than take their license from them,” says Lisa Hodgson, a director at the state Department of Health. But the thinking has changed. She says the medical community now understands that addiction is a disease — and it needs to be treated like any other disease. The most common addiction among doctors is alcohol, says WPHP Medical Director Charles Meredith. Next comes opioid dependence, including Vicodin and OxyContin. Addiction can still threaten doctors’ careers. The state Department of Health’s Quality Assurance Commission investigates incidents of drug abuse and can suspend licenses, order treatment, publicize transgressions, and even bar doctors from practicing in other states. And the threat of career-ending punishment can stop doctors and dentists from seeking treatment. If there hasn’t been any patient harm or sexual misconduct, the WPHP allows doctors to reach out for help without immediately putting their license at risk. Yet the vast majority of doctors are involuntarily referred to the program by their employees, peers or law enforcement. In many cases, doctors are required to temporarily leave their practice and attend an out-of-state inpatient facility specializing in treating addiction in medical professionals. Even when they return to practicing medicine, they remain in a monitoring program — random urine tests are conducted with a witness standing beside them and watching them pee — for the next five years. Comparatively, the program is remarkably successful. About 83 percent remain sober after five years, Meredith says. If they fail a drug test, they sometimes start the program over again. After that, the sobriety rate rises to 95 percent. The bill’s fiscal note estimates the license fees could generate about $146,700 a year — useful for an organization that’s been expanding to help doctors with mental illness. “At times we’ve been significantly understaffed,” Meredith says. “We continue to receive an increasing number of referrals annually.” n

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 15



The Big News of the Past Week



The century-old Jensen-Byrd building on the Riverpoint campus — long threatened with demolition despite activism by historical preservationists — may be saved after all. Lisa Brown, chancellor of WSU Spokane, said last Thursday that the school plans to refurbish it.

2. 3.

The Spokane Country Club filed for bankruptcy after a $1.7 million verdict in a gender discrimination lawsuit.

After months of conservative speculation that the Internal Revenue Service had been targeting conservative groups, the agency admitted Monday that it had singled out 501 (c) (4) nonprofits with the words “tea party” and “patriots” in their names for additional scrutiny.


Officials revealed last Thursday that hackers breached the Washington Courts website, exposing 160,000 Social Security numbers and nearly a million driver’s license numbers. So far, 94 of those Social Security numbers have been confirmed as compromised.


The 6th Annual Robotics Expo, hosted by West Valley High School, featured 200 elementary and middle school competitors on 35 different teams, with demonstrations by high school teams. At each competition level, teams navigated robots through obstacle courses, as seventh-grader Brenden Kaiser is seen doing. “It’s about connecting kids with things they are interested about,” says organizing committee member Brad Liberg.





16 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013


Associated Press journalists were infuriated by the discovery on Monday that the Department of Justice, in the process of a leak investigation, had secretly obtained two months of journalists’ phone records, including cellphones and home phone records.

What’s Creating Buzz Amount that Idaho Senator Mike Crapo’s campaign says it lost after a former campaign manager loaned it to an Idaho investment company. Today, that investment company is out of business.

PHOTOS: See tons of great unpublished photos from the Washington State Archives, North Central’s prom and other recent stories on Inlander. com.


Feds Come Knocking The feds scare a medical pot store from opening up; plus, how to help those displaced by last week’s fire CANNABIS CLOSURE




A medical cannabis farmers market set to open this weekend was While officials investigate the cause of a fire that razed a century-old halted Monday. United States Attorney MICHAEL ORMSBY NORA AVENUE HOME last Wednesday, families displaced by sent the landlord — who owns the building on East Sprague where the blaze are struggling to rebuild their lives. growers planned to gift or sell medical marijuana by donation — a All of the former tenants, seven adults and two children, manletter warning that “Using this premises for the distribution of aged to escape without injury. However, many were left with almost marijuana, or to facilitate the unlawful trafficking in a controlled nothing, including Unconia Al-Hajri and her 5-year-old son. substance, is violative of federal law.” The Inlander wrote about Al-Hajri three years ago as part of our John Hyatt, one of the market’s organizers, says he hoped it Injustice Project series. A former methamphetamine addict, Alwould be a place where Spokane’s medical marijuana patients Hajri graduated from drug court and got clean. could find affordable cannabis, and that it would operate within Although they have received temporary housing state law because patients would need their state-required medical from the regional Red Cross and a few clothing Send comments to marijuana documentation to enter and sales would be in the form donations, Al-Hajri and her son, who lived on of donations. But he worried about federal intervention and agreed the third floor of the historic building, “have not to open if his landlord received such a letter. Hyatt says he will nothing. request legal help from the ACLU of Washington, but can’t afford “We really need help,” she told The Inlander. “I have no clue to fund his own challenge. how to even handle something like this.” “We may be passionate about it,” he says, “but we’re not stuYou can help Al-Hajri by donating to her account at the Spopid.” kane Federal Credit Union. Another family affected by the fire has Hyatt says he and other activists will be at the location this set up a fundraising page at FundRazr; you can donate to Nick weekend for patients who come for medical marijuana, and they’ll Peraud and his fiancée, Skye Foster, here: hold a rally instead. cVYef. — HEIDI GROOVER — DEANNA PAN


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Jaak Panksepp Washington State University


Rats Giggle Too — And That’s a Bigger Deal

Than You Might Think BY DANIEL WALTERS hen the cat’s away, to paraphrase an old cliché, the rats will play. Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, working at Washington State University, has devoted a decade to watching that play. And from those modest observations, he’s made discoveries that could transform the worlds of biology, philosophy and medicine. The first big epiphany came after more than 10 years of watching rats play together. Two rats tussle and flop around frantically. They seem to be absolutely silent. But now he knows better. They were making sounds like a dog whistle, in a pitch too high for the human ear to hear. Using the same device used to detect bat sonar, Panksepp modifies the pitch of the rats’ voices, allowing him to listen to what the sounds they’re making. As the rats play together, they spit out a rapid series of chirps. After three years of experiments, he makes another discovery. He tries tickling the rats, just like he would tickle a small furry human. Coochee, coochee, coo. Suddenly, the chirps get more frequent and frantic. The


18 INLANDER may 16, 2013

rat follows around his hand, practically begging to be tickled more. The sounds aren’t quite a chortle, or a snicker or titter or guffaw or anything you’d hear from a sitcom studio audience, but to Panksepp, it’s become increasingly undeniable: The rat is laughing. At least, it has all the characteristics of human laughter. It doesn’t work on domestic mice — they play differently. But rats play in a physical way, in a way that leads to laughter. hat discovery — that rats laugh — is more than just a fun fact you could picture finding on a Snapple cap. It could even save lives. Two weeks ago, the New York Times reported on a sharp spike in the suicide rate, reporting that suicide has begun to take more lives than car accidents. Depression isn’t just sadness. It’s a public health crisis. Rats, oddly enough, may be illuminating a solution. As the rats laugh, Panksepp has dug deeper into their minds in the most literal sense. Using deep brain stimulation, he’s mapped the rodents’ brains, showing that their laughter


reflects a genuine rush of positive emotion. As with humans, certain parts of the brain light up when they feel good, others when they feel bad. He looks at gene expression patterns — which proteins are being manufactured through the play and laughter — to understand even more. Tickling brings the rats joy. Laughter is an expression of that joy. Neuroscience has begun to, in a sense, reverse-engineer “joy.” “We’re all mammals,” Panksepp says. And research on rats, he believes, has revealed the sort of primitive mechanisms that are impossible to study in humans. Because of this sort of exploration, scientists at Northwestern University have isolated a certain polypeptide — four bonded amino acids — with potential to treat depression. “The search for this molecule started 25 years ago,” Panksepp says. Most medication, like Prozac, is slow to act, and requires frequent dosage. This polypeptide has to be injected — it’s a protein, so if you swallowed it, you’d just digest it like a bite of meat. But early tests in humans have shown that it begins to improve moods within that very

day, Panksepp says. And a single injection lasts all week. “We saw no negative effects of any kind. … It significantly reduced depression,” Panksepp says. “The size of the effect was bigger than presently used medication.” One paper even discusses the possibility that it may be a way to treat autism. You can’t get much closer to “miracle drug” than that. ust the fact that rats are laughing, that they seem to be displaying genuine emotion, has meaning for one of the most confounding philosophical mysteries: “consciousness.” There’s something — call it a


soul, call it a spirit, call it an accidentally self-aware mass of neurons — looking out through your eyes, experiencing your thoughts. But lately science has been banging at the door of philosophy, showing just how physical consciousness is. And then it follows: If animals experience pain, happiness, sadness, laughter — who’s to say they aren’t conscious as well? Who’s to say, ethicists like Peter Singer argue, that animals aren’t deserving of moral consideration? “We define consciousness as having internal experiences,” Panksepp says. Now, the evidence says that animals

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are, indeed, having internal experiences. Last July, before an audience in Cambridge that included star scientist (and scientist of stars) Stephen Hawking, Panksepp joined with other academics to officially declare that “the weight of evidence indicates that humans are not unique in possessing the neurological substrates that generate consciousness. Non-human animals, including all mammals and birds, many other creatures, including octopuses, also possess these neurological substrates.” In other words, many

animals feel in a surprisingly similar fashion to humans. But with a vast amount of research being based on animal testing, that idea has generated resistance. “The people doing the nasty stuff to animals don’t want to accept that they’re doing nasty stuff,” Panksepp says. One prominent scientist accused him of falling prey to “anthropomorphism,” giving animals human qualities. Quite the contrary, he counters. His belief is far better described as “zoomorphism.” Humans, it turns out, have a lot of animal qualities. n

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There’s Not Enough

Poverty In Kids’ Books BY DEANNA PAN ama can’t find a steady job. So Zettie goes to bed every night in a cold, cramped car and wakes up every morning to the peal of police sirens. Daddy forged a check, got caught, and thrown in jail. So Amber and Essie curl up against one another when peanut butter and jelly doesn’t fill their tummies. “There’s no room for ‘want’ around here,” says Grandma, “just ‘need.’ ” So Jeremy buys a pair of thrifted name-brand shoes he covets, but they’re a size too small. In the end, he gives them to a friend who needs them more than he does. A few years ago, Janine Darragh, then a Ph.D. student at Washington State University, read and reread dozens of picture books about children grappling with poverty. Consumed by their tales, she often dreamed of these characters; one night they descended upon her house, begging for a Thanksgiving meal. Against the backdrop of one of the country’s worst economic crises, Darragh wondered: How accurately do contemporary children’s books reflect the reality of American poverty? And what messages do they send kids about financial hardship? Darragh, now an assistant professor in education at Whitworth University and self-professed “book nerd,” says



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books should honestly reflect students’ socioeconomic realities. About 16 million American children, roughly one in five, live in poverty — a decade high. In Spokane Public Schools, 57 percent of families are eligible for free or reduced lunch. “Books like Great Expectations or The Scarlet Letter don’t necessarily connect to students,” she says. “If a student is struggling with something and sees a character in the book whose parent might have lost a job or has to live in a shelter for a while, then that can be connected to his or her self-worth and self-esteem, to feel like he or she is not alone.” For her Ph.D. dissertation, she and Jane Kelley from Washington State University analyzed 58 picture books published after 1990 portraying American children living in poverty, and compared their results with Census Bureau data. Their findings, which were published in 2011, were somewhat surprising: While demographic trends in gender and race are more or less on par with Census statistics, “there was a huge discrepancy,” as the authors write, in geographic setting. Although 44 percent of impoverished people live in rural areas, of the children’s books they studied,

only 17 percent show presentday families struggling to make ends meet in the countryside. “I was surprised. I didn’t think there would be very many depictions of contemporary rural poverty, but I didn’t think it would be as glaring as it was. It was really challenging to find books at all,” she says. “It also was a little bit disappointing to see how issues of poverty were oversimplified.” Corroborating earlier studies, they found that structural roots of poverty are often ignored. Characters pick themselves up by the bootstraps; they rely on luck and resourcefulness. They find a four-leaf clover or make a wish on birthday cake, and — surprise — good fortune and material possession abound. Poor families, Darragh says, are



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too often “romanticized.” Despite these disappointments, she uncovered quite a few gems in her research. Darragh gushes about her favorite books: A Shelter in Our Car by Monica Gunning tells a tender tale about a girl and her mother, Jamaican immigrants, who must scavenge for food and bathe in a public restroom because they can’t afford an apartment. Amber was Brave, Essie was Smart by Vera B. Williams is a bittersweet portrait, written in verse, of two sisters who protect each other through good times and bad. Those Shoes — “a really sweet book” by Maribeth Boelts — chronicles a little boy who dreams about owning a pair of black hightops, but Grandma only has the money for new winter boots. “I think they were hon-

est portrayals,” Darragh says. “Kids struggle, but they’re kids. They still like to play; they still have hopes and dreams, so they were not overdramatic, definitely not didactic or preachy. [They] just told a story where the child happens to be struggling economically, and with a good interesting story, which I think is most important.” Darragh says she first noticed these gaps in children’s literature almost 20 years ago when she started her teaching career at a rural high school in southeast Ohio. “I was having a hard time finding depictions of rural poverty for children to read, for other students to know rural poverty even exists,” she says. “A lot of the times when you turn on the news and see depictions of poverty, it’s more the

inner city,” she says. “If you’re riding on a bus 45 minutes to get to school, people might not even know the struggles that you’re having.” Darragh is currently replicating the study with Craig Hill from Washington State University, but this time, she’s looking at young adult novels. She urges her students — all future teachers — to ask critical questions of the books they’re choosing for their classes. “Who’s telling the story? What story is being told?” she says. “Teachers [should] be super-careful in the books that they use and how they use them to make sure that they’re not unintentionally sending messages to students about stereotypes of people in poverty.” n

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New Wonder Material From What’s In Your Pantry BY jacob jones

ailed as a “wonder material” that could replace plastics, silicon and synthetic diamonds, the scientific community has gone bonkers for graphene, an incredibly light and strong carbon-based material with yet unknown potential. Researchers have fallen all over themselves to praise graphene as the “material of the future.” Comprised of atom-thick layers of tightly interlocked carbon, graphene has demonstrated amazing flexibility, electric conductivity and durability. In 2010, the Nobel Prize in Physics went to two Russian researchers for groundbreaking work with graphene. Earlier this year, the European Union awarded a $1.3 billion grant, with a capital B, to develop practical applications for the material. Its unique characteristics could quickly and cheaply revolutionize electronics, water purification, textiles, manufacturing, solar energy, alcohol distillation, construction — basically everything. “As a material it is completely new — not only the thinnest ever, but also the


strongest,” the Nobel Prize committee wrote in 2010. “Carbon, the basis of all known life on Earth, has surprised us once again.” So what if you could basically cook it up at home with a ceramic casserole dish and a bag of taco chips? ome of the greatest discoveries in history happened by accident — penicillin, X-rays, America. Professor Frank Cheng, a chemist with the University of Idaho, was trying to heat impurities out of an experiment when his team stumbled on a new graphenelike material that has since redirected his entire line of research. Cheng says a student had a porcelain pot of shale oil cooking over a heat source. The team wanted to burn all of the unwanted organics out of the material in preparation for an experiment. “It ignited into flames,” he says. When they opened up the pot, they found a shiny foil-like film had collected inside the pot — a flaky material with the same layered carbon structure as graphene.


Cheng dubbed the unique material GUITAR, Graphene from University of Idaho Thermalyzed Asphalt Reaction. He believes it to be a new form of carbon not previously explored. “It’s really been the focus of my research since then,” he says, adding, “It’s a unique material. No one else works with it.” While not an exact match, GUITAR shares most of the beneficial characteristics of the widely acclaimed graphene. Both serve as efficient conductors of heat and electricity. Both have a layered structure. Both resist corrosion. Traditional graphene has a consistent honeycomb pattern. GUITAR has a similar, but more disordered structure, which research has found actually helps improve conductivity. Cheng and fellow researchers have since recreated the experiment several times, using a broad variety of different carbon sources. He says they have used roofing tar, candy bars and taco chips. Almost any organic material can be transformed into GUITAR, Cheng says, with basic equipment and minimal


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Frank Cheng University of Idaho costs. The ability to produce a graphene-like material on an industrial scale could open up many doors for commercial uses. “The technique for this material is inexpensive, simple, and rapid,” he writes in a research summary. “Large quantities of GUITAR can be produced by nearly anyone with equipment that can be found in a general chemistry lab.” Somewhat similar research out of Rice University in Texas

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recently estimated a single box of Girl Scout cookies could be processed into more than $12 billion worth of graphene. heap. Check. Easy to make. Check. Readily available. Check. Now what do you do with it? Cheng has a whole list of potential applications, but he says the most important may end up being water purification. GUITAR could be used to build electrochemical water


purifiers, he says, which use an electric reaction to break down pollutants in drinking water. “A GUITAR-based electrochemical reactor will be fieldportable as it will only require two electrodes and a few DC volts,” he says. “Especially for developing countries, I think that GUITAR reactors can be nearly maintenance-free and will be able to pump out significantly more water than existing technologies.” GUITAR could also go

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into developing more efficient batteries and fuel cells. Using GUITAR as a coating for tiny structures could also be used to enhance heat transfer or build miniature circuits. “I think it’s going to have a lot more applications than that,” he says. “We’re trying to think of uses and where we go from here.” Other researchers have envisioned infinitely more efficient solar panels, capable of being incorporated into

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clothing to charge cellphones. They’ve imagined bendable touch screens and new nanotechnology. And they’re far from finished dreaming. Cheng tries to avoid the exaggerations, but he’s very excited about the many possibilities ahead. “I’ve seen materials oversold,” he says. “[But] it’s got very interesting characteristics.” n


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may 16, 2013 INLANDER 23

scholastic fantastic




Jonathan Middleton, EASTERN WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY f a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Yes. In fact, Eastern Washington University’s Jonathan Middleton used data and computer science to compose a full symphony about said tree. In 2004, Middleton, the department chair and professor of theory and composition at EWU, and a team of the school’s undergraduate and graduate computer science students developed Musicalgorithms, a program that converts numbers in data sets into music in a process known as sonification. The software maps data to an instrumental range, like the piano, and cycles it so that users can observe the results aurally. Using data sets collected pertaining to redwood trees’ DNA, Middleton used Musicalgorithms to create an audio interpretation of the trees essence for his 2005 composition Redwood Symphony. But the software isn’t merely a tool to test Middleton’s personal musical proclivities. Musicalgorithms has three primary goals: To be a tool that opens up new environments to composers, to help EWU


24 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013

students draw interdisciplinary connections, and to let scientists experience their data through sound. The software isn’t the only name in the sonification game. But what sets Musicalgorithms apart is its accessibility and simplicity. The original version software can be accessed for public use at “I wasn’t satisfied that the tools to do algorithmic composition that were available on the market were satisfactory for composers who didn’t have computer science training,“ says Middleton. “So I decided to make something that was userfriendly. I kind of felt what I was doing was pretty basic from other people’s perspectives, but I learned that within the computer science world, making software user-friendly is actually a goal. So I inadvertently found myself doing something that actually was viewed as being meaningful, not just for me but for other people.” The music created by sonification programs isn’t necessarily tuneful. It often sounds like a scattered series of random notes, but in the hands of pros like

Middleton, they can become interesting modern compositions. “A lot of my sequences,” says Neil Sloane, a New Jersey-based researcher, who created a similar program, “when you play them, sound like contemporary music. It’s not exactly Philip Glass, but minimalist compositions.” There’s also a push to move the software in a direction that creates results that sound more immediately musical to the untrained ear. Last year Middleton, his close collaborator and EWU computer science professor Steve Simmons and students developed a second version of Musicalgorithms that can map two sets of numbers into two different voices and allow users to choose a playback style (jazz, blues, etc.) — enabling more dynamic works that inch closer to making chords out of data. While it’s fascinating to hear the Fibonacci sequence or boreal toad DNA form the core of a symphonic work, Musicalgorithms’ real future appears to be in hard scientific research. It offers scientists a way to experience their data outside of traditional charts. “I think where this project is

headed now, the really exciting thing about it, is it’s gonna be able to find patterns where nobody has found them before,” says Simmons. “Today’s data is so big and horrifyingly complex. Patterns are there and if you know how to find them, you might be able to answer some very big mysteries in biology and medicine.” While the sonification work done with Musicalgorithms has yet to yield any major breakthroughs, many scientists believe this new method of interpreting data has significant potential. Middleton has worked with people like Taneli Hautaniemi, a neurobiology Ph.D. student at the University of Eastern Finland, who uses the software to find patterns in his migraine pain research. Chris McIntosh, a professor in the Department of Agricultural Economics and Rural Sociology at the University of Idaho, is using the software to determine whether sonification of regression residuals — how much predicted data differs from found observed data — produces identifiable patterns for his work as an econometrician. Forrest Mims, an amateur

scientist and electronics author who has worked on atmospheric data projects for NASA, also has been using Musicalgorithms. Not only does it improve his research, but also makes it more accessible to the public, as he found when putting together a recent proposal for National Geographic to do a one-year ultraviolet study. “It was all very formal,” says Mims, “and then it occurred to me — good grief — the most obvious thing you have to do with this proposal is add a way of bringing that study to life with sound.” Middleton himself has received a grant to travel to Europe this summer to work with an Oxford professor who is attempting to find patterns in the way proteins and protein folds behave. Last week, he premiered sonifications based on Pascal’s triangle and his own proteomics work at Lower Columbia College. It’s all part of his push to bridge the gap between the musical and scientific community in an effort to produce meaningful new works in both fields. Every year, we see more and more scientific breakthroughs. It’s high time we started hearing them too. 

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may 16, 2013 INLANDER 25

scholastic fantastic

Patrick Ferro, Gonzaga University ENGINEERING

Hydrogen Can Weaken Steel,

And That’s a Problem For Our Sustainable Future BY HEIDI GROOVER Lots of fun planned for the MAC’s three-day Art Camp. Create unique artwork using different media including clay, paint and printmaking. Discover the hidden beauty of MAC’s five-acre campus with outdoor activities, nature walks, and lunch al fresco. Campers will explore each of the MAC’s inspiring exhibits: SPOMa, David Douglas, Lasting Heritage and Two to Tango; and engage in exhibit-related activities.

Bring your own sack lunch. Camp T-shirt and daily snacks are included. Limited capacity - Register Early! On-line at learn/specialprograms Questions? Contact Cara Spink. 509-363-5332

OPEN ON SUNDAYS Wed - Sun 10am to 5pm 2316 W First Avenue, Spokane

(509) 456-3931 An Affiliate of the Smithsonian Institution

26 INLANDER may 16, 2013

Ages: 5-13 Times: 9am - 4pm

(Special 8am - 5pm arrangements available.)

Cost per student: MAC Members $120 Non-members $140 $10 per day for 8am drop-off and/or 5pm pick up.

3 Sessions: Choose July 24 - 26 July 31 - Aug 2 Aug 7 - 9

n the cars and homes of the future, the substance flowing through our pipes and to our engines, powering our lights and cars, could be hydrogen. Clean and easy to produce, it’s a source many scientists believe could someday help get us off oil for good. “Hydrogen is a clean fuel no matter what, and it’s abundant,” says Patrick Ferro, the chair of Gonzaga’s mechanical engineering program. “There’s a vision for going to kind of a hydrogen economy.” But with hope comes unanswered questions. Because hydrogen atoms are the smallest of the elements, they have a special ability to wriggle into other materials, like metals, at the molecular level, changing the way those materials behave. Now, scientists like Gonzaga’s Patrick Ferro and his students are trying to better understand


how that happens and just how much hydrogen makes a difference. Scientists have long known that large amounts — or “supersaturation” — of hydrogen can affect metals, but Ferro and his students are finding that even small exposures can change metals like stainless steel. In that case, even those materials being used for some of the smaller parts of hydrogenpowered infrastructure could fall victim to hydrogen. Fuel cells, for example, create electricity by exposing hydrogen to oxygen and electrodes, and that electricity is used to power a light bulb or a battery that powers a car. So along with the storage tanks where it starts, the hydrogen affects any valve or plumbing it touches along the way. When hydrogen worms its way into a metal, it squeezes

between the metal’s atoms and changes their ability to move past each other, affecting the metal’s capacity for bending or stretching. That can become especially dangerous. The hydrogen makes the metal more brittle so when it breaks, it does so — as Ferro and other scientists say — “catastrophically.” There’s no warning. It doesn’t bend much first. “As engineers we like things, if they do fail, we want them to fail in a ductile fashion, kind of a safe and gooey and lots of warning,” Ferro says, “but if the hydrogen changes the way metal fails, to now it fails brittlely, that’s more dangerous.” And since hydrogen is flammable, a catastrophic breakage of a tank or pipe holding it can result in fire. (Ferro is quick with caution about this issue. Yes, hydrogen is flammable,

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he says, but so is the natural gas we use in our stoves and barbecues. “Ever since the Hindenburg there’s been an unnatural fear of hydrogen gas,” he says. “It is to be respected, but … you just have to be careful.”) In a high-ceilinged room on the first floor of Gonzaga’s Herak Engineering and Computer Center that looks like part laboratory, part garage, Gonzaga senior Allie Anderson places a bow-tie-shaped piece of stainless steel vertically in a machine that grips it by each end. With a few taps on a nearby computer, the machine rumbles to life and begins slowly pulling the piece of metal by each end. About 10 minutes later, the middle of the piece snaps and the machine stops pulling. In sample after sample, Anderson goes through this same process, comparing “virgin” samples to those she’s stored in a beaker filled with hydrogen for up to a week. In another lab across the hall, junior Michael Beckett is looking at the same thing in a different way. He puts the same small pieces of steel on a machine that bends them back and forth until they break, as a machine counts the number of times they bend. Both students have found that even small amounts of hydro-

gen exposure make the metal more brittle, meaning it breaks quicker or with less stretching and bending beforehand than an unexposed sample. Now, as Ferro and other researchers around the world start to quantify how much hydrogen affects which substances, they’re looking to form a database of their findings and which materials might work best for certain types of projects. Ferro knows his lab is small relative to others, but he’s hopeful. His students may have to send out samples to have them “supersaturated,” but that’s encouraging them to focus on smaller amounts others may be ignoring. Supersaturation has long been considered, but smaller or shorter exposures may be getting less attention. Plus, science is strengthened by multiple verifications. “We studied the lower exposure levels … because we can,” Ferro says. “There is that possibility in the hydrogen infrastructure that components are going to be influenced by small and subtle levels of hydrogen, and we do want to know what … might arise from that so we can take precautions in design. That’s how we contribute.” n

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may 16, 2013 INLANDER 27

MISQUOTING discrepancies in Christian scripture





EWU and the Daniel and Margaret Carper Foundation are pleased to welcome Bart D. Ehrman to Spokane for an evening of insightful and intriguing conversation. Bart D. Ehrman is the author of more than 20 books, including four New York Times bestsellers: Misquoting Jesus, God’s Problem, Jesus Interrupted and Forged. Ehrman is the James A. Gray Distinguished Professor of Religious Studies at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill.

FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC A book signing in the lobby of the theater will follow the event. FOR MORE INFO: WWW.BARTDE HRMAN.COM 509.359.486 0 OR BCHAMBERLA IN@EWU.EDU

28 INLANDER may 16, 2013




MAY 31 & JUNE 1 // 2013 The Makers CaMpfire Ok WiTCh MOunTain haunTed hOrses The LOnesOMe BiLLies The hOOT hOOTs GreaT faLLs sTiCkers siCk kids XOXO pOny TiMe eTernaL suMMers eMMa hiLL dJ/druMs nude pOp TerriBLe BuTTOns BruXa shahs kinG eLephanT BBBBandiTs CaThedraL pearLs The CaMarOs Jaeda + haLf ZOdiaC psyChiC riTes BLVCk CeiLinG LiLaC LinGuisTiCs

hOOVes 66BeaT spaCe MOVies MyTh ship ian L. MiLes LOsinG skin BeLT Of VapOr MarshaLL MCLean Band freeTiMe synTheTiC WOLVes in The WOOds faus a GOd Or an OTher skin fLOWers Odyssey nOrMaL BaBies fOLkinCepTiOn The finns diaMOnd speedBOaT suMMer in siBeria hey! is fOr hOrses BandiT Train p.WreCks Bias My pinky has a naMe enCinO Band

BrOThers OV MidniTe TeaM GrOWL ZinGaia duCk duCk suCkerpunCh The LiOn Oh My COnCreTe Grip BLaCkWaTer prOpheT phiL in The BLank iMperfeCT COdy BuLLeTs Or BaLLOOns GarLands JaCOB JOnes riCe Queen JOhn k. TyLer aker The sTaTiC TOnes The sTranGers LOCke JaVier ryan CaMi BradLey CaThOLiC GuiLT sTranGe Mana The hOLy BrOke Cedar & BOyer




BOY WONDER There are a lot of reasons why Langston Ward is not your typical teenager




he hallway is a zoo — a cage echoing with the cackling and howling and chattering of hundreds of teenagers changing classes. There are girls in tiny shorts and flapping sandals, boys in backward hats and shorts with more pockets than anyone could ever actually fill. Everyone is carrying a giant backpack. Everyone who isn’t talking is clicking away on a cellphone. And among them — above them, really — is an 18-year-old kid with sleepy eyes and a dusting of chin hair. He’s impossible to miss. He’s a hulking senior — the type girls inevitably stare at, and guys want to be like. And though he towers over most of the other kids at his school by at least a foot, Langston Ward navigates the halls of Mead High on a Wednesday morning just like the rest of them: walking lockstep in the hallway traffic, rushing to get to the library five minutes before class.

“I have to print a paper,” he says as he plunks down at a computer station and adds the finishing touches to a document. He hits a button to print. “Awesome,” he says. The bell sounds and he’s off to class. The paper is on a book of “literary merit.” He chose Watchmen, a graphic novel. “I think it’s of literary merit.” He flashes a million-dollar smile. Langston Ward smiles that smile a lot. He rushes back through the hallways, and cuts into his AP literature classroom, where his teacher Julie Ringold looks up from her desk. “Langston... ” she says. “I finished... ” he says sheepishly, handing her the paper, still warm from the printer. And there’s the smile again.

When class starts, Ringold announces that Ward has his paper to present — an announcement that’s met with a smattering of giggles and claps as he makes his way to the front of the classroom. He smiles at the class, then he starts talking about why graphic novels aren’t just superhero comics. And his classmates listen. Lately, when Ward speaks to people — he says he has a little bit of stage fright — he’s found that people like to listen to him. At the end of April, the Mead High senior won the Poetry Out Loud National Recitation Contest — a competition created in 2006 by the National Endowment for the Arts and the Poetry Foundation, and this year featured some 300,000 competitors from every corner of the nation — with his recitation of three poems. That first-place title earned him a check for $20,000, and ...continued on next page

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 29

culture | poetry “boy wonder,” continued...

2013 Summer ConCert SerieS Lineup!

Mead High received a $500 stipend for poetry books because of his win. Ward’s three poems touched on different movements in the poetic world. In the semifinal round, he recited Li-Young Lee’s “The Gift” — a modern piece that recounts the simple act of a father removing a splinter from his son’s palm — and Walt Whitman’s gut-wrenching Civil War-era poem “A March in the Ranks HardPrest, and the Road Unknown.” And in the final round, Ward nodded to the beat poets with his performance of Kenneth Rexroth’s “The Bad Old Days.” As someone who just won one of poetry’s biggest championships, Ward admits he’s no poetry nut. He only started reciting poetry when it was implemented into the English curriculum at Mead. And though he won the state competition last year and advanced to nationals, he didn’t plan to compete this year. “I told my teacher the day before the school competition that I didn’t want to do it. I was just... I didn’t really want to go through all the processes of getting to nationals again, even though it was fun,” he says. “I was just being lazy. I just changed my mind at like 10 o’clock the night before.” Maybe he wasn’t just being lazy. Maybe he was tired. Poetry Out Loud is hardly Ward’s entire life. He’s a star football player at Mead  and he’s set to play for Harvard come fall. He plays cello. He’s a second-degree black belt in tae kwon do. He was a page to Sen. Lisa Brown in 2011.

Thursday, August 1st

IndIgo gIrls with The shook Twins Microbrew Tasting Friday, August 2nd An Evening with


He’s on the debate team. He throws discus on the track team. He plays in a rock band with friends. He’s got a girlfriend he’s taking to prom on Saturday. And he’s never had more than one B at a time on his report card. But a part of Ward had to know that there’s something special that happens when he reads a Whitman passage. The dramatic pauses. The way his voice swells with pain and anger and resignation. He must feel the way a room stills when he speaks. Ringold says sometimes it’s hard for her to get the boys in her freshman English classes excited about poetry. But when they see Ward — this running-back-obliterating, discus-slinging, bass guitar-playing senior — perform, it changes how they look at poetry. “‘Well, if Langston does it...’” she sees them thinking. And suddenly they’re interested. He’s the kind of kid other kids want to be like. And though, it seems, he does everything short of pulling infants out of burning houses, Langston Ward is still just a kid. And like a kid, he’s got detention today — the second one he’s ever had. The first was a few weeks back: he left campus without permission so he could buy flowers to ask his girlfriend to prom. But this time, he got detention because he overslept and was late to school. When he talks about it, that smile comes back again. Yeah, he’s a kid. But even Ward knows it’s silly to give a kid like him detention. n

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30 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013

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hy in the hell is Benjamin Percy writing about werewolves, you might ask? Everyone is writing about werewolves. Why would one of America’s promising young writers do the same? Perhaps because when Percy writes about werewolves — or “lycans” as they’re referred to here — he’s really writing about xenophobia, terrorism, war, racism, reactionary politics at their worst and, most prominently, fear. Red Moon takes place in a world almost identical to our own except that there’s something called lobos that has long infected a portion of the population. It causes them to turn into wolves, can be spread with a bite or passed down through generations, and has become as much of a cultural identity as a disease. As with most of his fiction, Percy uses the Northwest, specifically his native Oregon, as the setting of the massive tale, but also jumps overseas to a country set up to segregate the world’s lycans. Beginning with a teenager who is the only survivor after a lycan kills everyone else aboard his flight to Portland, the novel branches out, enveloping a dozen or so other main characters to weave a complex thriller of a novel as the war against lycan extremists escalates toward apocalypse. Percy — a prolific writer who, in addition to gaining praise for 2010’s The Wilding, has also profiled John Irving for Time and penned an essay about aging in Esquire — crafts sentences that drip with the same drool of the lycans who both terrorize and save his protagonists. Percy’s characters, none of them necessarily heroes, have a slightly underdeveloped feel to them, but the plot is busy enough to distract you from noticing.

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Werewolves like you’ve never seen them before. This is not easy reading. It’s literary fiction, albeit with a menacing tone, a thrilling pace and no shortage of bloody imagery. In the end, Red Moon is no more about werewolves than Animal Farm is about pigs and horses. — MIKE BOOKEY

For Your Consideration By Sarah Munds





JUNE 5, 2013 @ 6:30PM

FRIDAY, JUNE 7TH | 6PM BOOK | Too many people know Vladimir Nabokov for Lolita, a tale about lies, pedophiles, and child molestation. Not enough people know Nabokov for his bajillions of other works… that incidentally also frequently involve lies, pedophiles, and child molestation. But that’s not the point. The point is that both Vladimir Nabokov and his 1969 novel ADA, OR ARDOR: A FAMILY CHRONICLE kick ass. There’s symbolism rolled up in a burrito of allegory, science fiction, and social commentary. There are hidden nuggets of literary allusion. There’s some deep smartpeople stuff involving the nature of the universe, the interrelatedness of human existence in the dimensions of time and space, and incest.

YOUTUBE | I love videogames, casual swearing and electronic music. I love HEY ASH WHATCHA PLAYIN’? a YouTube series that combines all three in hilarious, periodic game reviews. Most of the time, the videos make little to no sense. A majority of the time, they have nothing to do with the game they’re reviewing. But it’s funny watching Anthony and Ashly Burch, a brother-and-sister combo, play games, throw controllers, reenact scenes and partake in general tomfoolery. Sometimes they dress up. Sometimes Ash, who is a little bit quirky, wraps herself in an American flag and slaps people with a four-foot-long dildo bat.

FOOD | I’m not usually one for chain restaurants because I’m a buy-local snob, but I stumbled across culinary gold at CAFE RIO in Coeur d’Alene. This veritable ambrosia of the gods consists of an enchilada-style burrito with rice, beans and sweet pork, cooked in a rich tomatillo sauce and smothered in cheese. When this bad boy comes out of the oven, it’s slathered in even more sauce, as if the salsa cup of the heavens overflowed in a fountain of flavor that can only be described as a wellspring of happiness and joy. The result is a burrito about the size of a kitten, swimming in a pool of tangy salsa, unicorn tears and sweet dreams.





Drink at For Reservations Call: 509.747.1041 or visit



MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 31

Literary Confections Books2Eat serves up literature in cake form By Lisa Waananen


n past years, Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss appeared as a sky blue fondant elephant face, surrounded by a flower bed of pink-dipped cake pops. Cinderella became a multi-tiered castle confection complete with intricately frosted landscaping and a pumpkin carriage in iridescent icing. An edible house atop a tornado, with pistachio pudding and cherry filling, became an impressive

32 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013

version of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. A toilet-shaped cake, thickly frosted in white with some brown and yellow accents in the center, was inspired by the children’s scatalogical classic Everyone Poops. A round cake frosted in orange with the numbers of a clock face was, of course, A Clockwork Orange. “Hint: the internal clock parts are not edible,” read the accompanying sign.

This year’s creations and the books that inspire them, however, can all be shelved as mysteries until the event on May 22. “Usually you don’t tell,” says Harriet Plucker. Plucker came up with the idea for Books2Eat a decade ago after hearing about similar events at other libraries. Each spring since then she’s been serving up literature-inspired cakes at the Eastern

Washington University library. She was willing to reveal that one of the books she’s chosen this year is by a local author, but wouldn’t reveal his name or any other details. Some magnificent cakes have been entered over the years, she says, but an entry doesn’t have to be a showstopper to be clever — and tasty. The creations don’t even have to be cakes. And the books that inspire them can come from any genre, from pulp to the classics. One of last year’s winning entries — miniature “hamburgers” made of cookies, chocolate and candy — was inspired by a nonfiction book, Hamburgers and Fries: An American Story. Another recent entry, inspired by the instructional Litterbox Training and Other Feline Hygiene Etiquette, was cheekily served from a (presumably new) litterbox. “The idea was to be creative with literature,” Plucker says. Children’s books are a favorite for their whimsical themes and story lines, as are contemporary bestsellers like The Hunger Games. Dr. Seuss makes an appearance most years, and Eric Carle’s The Very Hungry Caterpillar is a frequently recurring title for its bright colors and easy translation into cupcakes. Leslie Swannack, an administrative assistant at the university

Entries from last year’s contest. who has entered — and won — multiple times, says she looks for books that are popular at the time. She’s done Spider-Man before, and last year she did Angry Birds as a set of detailed character heads on sticks. (Yes, the addictive game has spawned a series of Angry Birds books.) “There are always so many cute ideas that it’s really fun to see what people come up with,” Swannack says. There are two awards: One for the crowd favorite, and one for the dish that best represents the theme. Half the fun is seeing the creations and voting on favorites; the other half is consuming them. Several hundred people usually help with the eating, many of them students who happily find themselves offered free cake while studying for finals. In recent years, more students have been participating with their own creations, too. “It’s just for fun, for the students,” Plucker says. “That’s what it’s all about.” n Books2Eat • Wed, May 22 • 1 to 4 pm, eating begins around 2:30 pm • JFK Library lobby, Eastern Washington University • 359-2264

American Craft Beer Week. May 9-19.

In honor of American Craft Beer Week, all 26 of our draft handles will be featuring local brews. Enjoy a FREE basket of our prized Fried Pickles with a minimum $10 purchase May 9-19.*

Happy Hour 4-6 pm daily. Downtown Spokane • 1 N Post St. • 509 789 6900 • *This offer is valid from May 9-19, 2013. The offer may not be combined with other specials or promotions. Offer Limit one free Fried Pickle basket per table.

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 33

food | opening

Earth, Water, Food



Riverfront Park gets a summer eating spot with the Fountain Cafe By Jo Miller Mr. Twain will make a few comments on the human being, his place in the world, his habits, his foibles, his fellow animals, all duly discussed and described.

June 6, 7 & 8 at 7:30Pm June 9 at 2:00Pm Adults - Twenty-Eight Dollars | Seniors - Twenty-Two Dollars | Students - Twelve Dollars

Tickets are available through the Box Office at 455-7529 or

JERRY HARDIN Mr. Hardin’s film credits include The Firm, Missing, REDS, Milagro Beanfield War, Blaze, Hot Spot, The Associate and Saving Private Ryan. He has appeared on television in X Files, Star Trek, Ally McBeal, Golden Girls, Murphy Brown, Nip/Tuck, Jag and many others.



ust a few dozen feet from the Rotary Fountain in Riverfront Park, where you can’t tell if the sound of squealing is coming from the children prancing through the spouts or the seagulls swarming the pavement, a new cafe feeds downtowners. Construction for the Fountain Cafe began in November and the cafe opened the last day of April. The idea to put the cafe in the park resulted from a need to have permanent restrooms by the fountain. Sam Song, the food and beverage director for Spokane Parks and Recreation, says they realized the park was lacking a decent attractive dining area, so a plan for the cafe was submitted and approved. The all-outdoor-seating cafe will remain open through the summer and into the fall, as weather permits. Its menu goes beyond the regular concession-stand hot-dog-and-ice-cream grub. “We kept popular items for park visitors and added some gourmet choices for downtown people,” Song said.

The flatbread with sun-dried tomato and feta ($6.95), which we tried, is a small and simple appetizer with a sparse sprinkling of the chunky ingredients. The flatbread, which has another choice of grilled artichoke on mushroom pesto with Parmesan, is among some of the more nontraditional park food. Among appetizers, you can also get a hummus platter ($6.95) with grilled pita, kalamata olives and cucumber. Entrées — served with chips, fries or salad — include Cajun Andouille Sausage ($6.95) and four shrimp tacos with Cusabi dressing ($8.95). Some of the more basic items on the menu are burgers ($7.95-$9.50), grilled cheese sandwiches ($6.95-$8.95) and wraps ($6.95-$7.95). The kids’ menu also includes a turkey dog ($4.95) and macaroni and cheese ($4.95). Right now there’s one beer on tap: No-Li’s Born & Raised IPA. Golden Hills will be added later this summer, Song says. The cafe also carries a selection of bottled beer — including Budweiser, Corona and Kokanee — and wine.

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MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 35

Interstellar Gem

J.J. Abrams makes a better Star Trek this time around BY ED SYMKUS


here’s no escaping the grim, foreboding title. In this sequel to J.J. Abrams’ good-but-not-quite-great reboot of the universe’s best known sci-fi saga, lots of bad stuff happens. There are terrorists who cause major devastation. There are life-and-death situations. There are Klingons, just itching to do what they like best: go to war. Things get worse before they get better. But for some viewers, this withouta-doubt great film is going to be an absolute joyride. The writing has been ratcheted up a few notches; though Kirk and Spock remain, as they should, at the film’s center, the rest of the crew has been given more to do; and most important, Into Darkness is a valentine to Star Trek fans, especially those who have been into it since the original TV show. Spread generously throughout the film are little shout-outs to us. A couple of times the script just walks up and says “hello” to hard-core fans of the show, and to a lesser degree the first films. Newcomers won’t realize what’s going on, while certain references will make those in the know smile wide. But whether you’re a geek-level fan or just a casual moviegoer, the less you know about the film in advance, the more you’ll enjoy it. With that in mind, here are the very few pieces of it that it’s OK to be in on. It takes place in 2259. No, that’s not a stardate, it’s the year. Some of it happens in San Francisco, some in London, some in space, the final frontier. Spock is and always will be a stick-to-the-rules guy. Kirk is a freewheeling leader who does what needs to be done. Someone utters the words “acting Captain Sulu.” Actually, there’s so much going on in this movie, I’m going to let loose with four

36 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013

lines of dialogue, totally out of context. “We’re defenseless, sir!” “Beam me out!” (Yes, that’s out, not up.) “What are you doing with that Tribble?” (I told you there were references.) “Dammit, I’m a doctor, not a ...” (You can fill in the rest.) Star Trek Into Darkness starts the way great action movies should start, with a lot of action. Kirk and Bones are literally on the run, Spock is busy putting his life on the line (and wearing the coolest copper-colored spacesuit). Interplanetary rules are broken, souls are bared, fast banter is volleyed, and attitudes are very


Rated PG-13 Directed by J.J. Abrams Starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban much on display, as are relationships. The romantic one between Spock and Uhura has become serious; swinging single Kirk is revealed to have a thing for alien females — yes, that’s plural (and you can tell they’re aliens because they have tails!). Even back in its early TV days, Star Trek was famous for making its stories the most important piece of the puzzle. This one’s no exception, and Into Darkness’ main story really kicks into gear with the introduction of the villainous John Harrison (deep-voiced Benedict Cumberbatch, British TV’s current Sherlock Holmes). Initially we don’t know much about this guy except that he’s responsible for what would generally be termed a terrorist attack on a major city, and that he is, according to the folks in Starfleet, “one of our own.” There are spectacular visuals to match the wild action, and moments of quiet, serious talk that nicely complement perfect segments of comic relief. Best of all, the writers have learned an important lesson from 2009’s Star Trek. This time they’ve made sure to stay away from anything resembling the time-space continuum business of that film that had even some of the most die-hard fans wondering what the heck was going on. 



Black Rock


Described as “film noir at its noirest,” The Silence  follows the story of a missing girl and two detectives trying to put the pieces of a possible murder together. Two decades earlier, a young girl had disappeared in the same spot, on the same day, under strikingly similar circumstances. The hunt ensues as detectives struggle to solve two murders at the same time. Family and friends wait, but will a sly murderer go free once again as the pain of loss sinks further and further into the hearts and minds of the community. At Magic Lantern (SM) Unrated


Three girls. An island off the coast of Maine. A girls’ weekend camping “to reconnect. It’s going to be so awesome!” Except it isn’t awesome. This is a thriller… an extremely rape-y one at that. The girls land on the beaches of this supposedly deserted island, only to find a group of

hunters who have taken to the island for a weekend of stalking and killing. The problem? They’re going to stalk and kill the girls, not the native wildlife. Now, a group of prissy women must dig deep into their brain to find survival instinct before they become prey themselves. At Magic Lantern (SM) Rated R


Director J.J. Abrams has done what every Star Trek fan has been hoping for. He’s upped the ante on everything in the sequel to his 2009 reboot of the franchise. And he’s done so with an eye cocked in the direction of diehard fans, to whom he sends little shout-outs of old Trek references. He also spins a whopping good, action- and effects-filled tale of intrigue and attitudes (and relationships and photon torpedoes and even a cameo by a Tribble). As the title suggests, there are grim things going on, but there’s also comedy and great.


A class act all the way, this sports bio tells the story of Brooklyn Dodgers second baseman Jackie Robinson (Chadwick Boseman), who wore the number 42 and was the first black player to make it into the majors. His achievement was helped along by Dodgers GM Branch Rickey (Harrison Ford), who braved the ire of fans and players alike to get rid of that race line. The film concentrates on Robinson’s life in the mid-to-late 1940s, even though there are tales aplenty of earlier exploits that would also make a great film. The athletic Boseman adds a genial intensity to the role, and Ford gets his meatiest and crustiest part in years. There’s much use of the N word, every bit of it to capture the reality of the situation. (ES) Rated PG-13


Don and Ellie have been divorced for years. But their adopted son’s marriage heralds a basket full of strange and extenuating circumstances that require the divorced couple to fake their marriage after years of separation. Will they be

l stee ed x e l e F rant es c Guaest Pri Low

able to pull off this quirky charade to save their son’s wedding? This star-studded movie boasts more famous actors than an Oscar after-party, so you’re basically looking at the talent of Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton, Katherine Heigl, Amanda Seyfried and many more. (SM) Rated R.


Robert Redford (who also directed this film) stars as an Albany, N.Y., attorney named Jim Grant, recently widowed and raising a young daughter on his own. But when a former, long-fugitive member of the radical 1960s Weather Underground movement, Sharon Solarz (Susan Sarandon), is caught by the FBI, local reporter Ben Shepard (Shia LaBeouf) uncovers a secret: Jim Grant was implicated in the same botched bank robbery for which Solarz was wanted. (SR) Rated R.


We kinda have a feeling that The Croods, DreamWorks’ latest animated flick, which chronicles the adventures of a ...continued on next page

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 37






Fri/Sat: 4:15, 8:30, Sun: 3:45, 6:00 Wed/Thu: 4:15, 8:30


prehistoric cave-people family, will draw attention from all demographics. The plot is simple: a family (did they really have families then?) is forced to leave the only home they’ve known when it’s destroyed during a big natural disaster — the end of the world, maybe? Their journey to a safer place is basically the first road trip of all time, and as you can guess there are lots of unexpected twists and some semi-forced family bonding moments along the way. (CS) Rated PG

Fri: 6:30, Sat: 2:15, 6:30, Sun: 1:45 Wed/Thu: 6:30


Fri/Sat: 6:45, Sun: 3:30, Tues-Thu: 6:45


Fri/Sat: 9:00, Sun: 5:45, Wed/Thu: 9:00


Fri/Sat: 4:30, Sun: 1:30, Wed/Thu: 4:30

ROOM 237 (102 NR)

Fri/Sat: 2:30, Sun: 7:15, Mon/Tues: 7:30


25 W Main Ave • 509-209-2383 • All Shows $7



jack the giant slayer FRI 5:00, SAT-SUN 12:30, 5:00 TUES-THURS 5:00

identity thief FRI 7:20, SAT-SUN 2:45, 7:20 MON 7:20, WED 7:20

A Good Day to Die Hard







Raid of the REE Rainbow Lounge MILK MOVIE NIGHT THURSDAY 7:00






Will the fifth time be the charm? The fifth adaptation of the 1925 Fitzgerald novel (the others were in 1926, 1929, 1974, and 2000) has it over its predecessors because it sticks closest to the source material, in both storytelling and spirit, and because director Baz Luhrmann is a visionary stylist. He takes the tale of selfish, wealthy rich folks in the 1920s, most of whom think they deserve everything they want, casts it perfectly (Leo DiCaprio and his smile were made for the role of the mysterious Gatsby), then goes over the top with swooping 3D cameras, fast editing, and a nutzoid musical score. (ES) Rated PG-13


So, there’s this pretty obscure movie that a lot of you haven’t heard about. It’s called Iron Man and it really never got popular. They made a sequel, which didn’t do well in box offices either and definitely didn’t amass a huge fan base or anything. A third one is coming out this week. So, I guess, if you feel like it, go and see a movie that didn’t get big and support some struggling actors like Robert Downey Jr., Guy Pierce and Gwyneth Paltrow. The movie is about a man who makes a metal robot suit. There’s an evil villain. The guy has to save the world most of the time and stuff. We’re kidding, this thing is outrageous and, of course, very popular. (SM) PG-13






901 W. SPRAGUE AVE, SPOKANE | 509.227.7638

38 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013

In a world where everyone is connected through cellphones, laptops and tablets, human relationships have been forced upon an evolutionary path to cope. A businessman always on his cellphone with clients. Cyber bullies pushing classmates around online. A teenager who makes a living performing on an adult website. The question is asked — how do we connect? What does that connection mean when humans take their interactions online, through text and over the phone? This drama, starring Jason Bateman, follows the lives of disconnected people who crash together in a struggle to relate. (SM) Rated R

Two teenagers stumble across a ruggedly handsome fugitive (Matthew McConaughey) hiding in the Deep South from bounty hunters and the law. The boys decide to take matters into their own hands, making a pact to keep the dashing criminal hidden from hungry killers and help reunite him with his long lost love.  It’s nice to see McConaughey  continue his habit of appearing in movies that aren’t, by and large, romantic comedies. Let’s hope he keeps it up. (SM) Rated PG-13



In the ’80s, Chile’s military dictator was called to legitimize his rule through a democratic vote. The only problem, dictators have a nasty penchant for staying in power, even when “democratic” voting strategies are employed. The predicament: getting the people of Chile to vote “no,” and vote the dictator out of office. The solution: a brilliant marketing campaign that brought the country out of oppression. This battle royale between marketing and politics catapulted the country into a revolution, proving that advertising consultants are way more badass than we give them credit for. At Magic Lantern (SM) Rated R


Jack (Tom Cruise) is a dude trying not to get captured by the alien Scavengers still scurrying around on planet Earth, still hanging out even though they lost the war with humans. (You’d think they’d take a hint and go  home, but no.) The Scavs are intent on causing trouble, and it’s Jack’s job, as a sort of roving Maytag repairman, to keep in the air the fleet of drone  weapons that are  protecting, from Scav attack, the ginormous fusionreactor thingies that are turning Earth’s oceans into a  power source for Titan, a moon of Saturn, to which the human survivors  of the war have decamped, what with Earth reduced to a radioactive wasteland and all. (MJ) Rated PG-13


The true story of a trio of bodybuilders in mid-’90s Miami who grab for the American Dream via the inept kidnapping of a wealthy gym client sits at the center of this sometimes wildly funny, often darkly gruesome Michael Bay film. Yup, the guy who brought us the Transformers movies still knows how to tell a great story, as he did in Bad Boys and The Rock. Speaking of the Rock, Dwayne Johnson gives the performance of his career here, as an ex-con who sees the light, then falters. There’s great ensemble work between him, Mark Wahlberg and Anthony Mackie, some comic nastiness from Tony Shalhoub as their victim, and an air of calm from Ed Harris as a private detective. Lots of fun, but definitely not for the squeamish. (ES) Rated R

First, Wade Walker crashes a family reunion without permission. Next, he shows up to the Peeples family’s fancy-shmancy house in the Hamptons. After that, Wade asks Dad Peeples to marry the most precious and beautiful daughter out of the batch. Dad Peeples ain’t having nothin’ to do with that business. Not only is this a recipe for disaster, it’s also a recipe for a loving and quirky romantic comedy. Girls, drag your boyfriends to this one while he whines and complains all the way to the theater. Guys, prepare for some old-fashioned antics of love, as well as a cancerous growth spurred on by the complete inanity that is this movie. (SM) Rated PG-13


Centered around four musically inclined retirees and starring everybody’s favorite Downton Abbey actress Maggie Smith, this movie melds together our love for music and old people. The drama that ensues at this retirement center threatens the success of the annual gala concert, leaving the audience with one question: will the show go on? (KS) Rated PG-13

ROOM 237

Directed by Rodney Ascher, Room 237 uses the differing perspectives of five film fans to deconstruct the minor nuances of The Shining. Bill Blakemore, Geoffrey Cocks, Juli Kearns, John Fell Ryan and Jay Weidner are die-hard fans of Kubrick’s work. All are writers (ranging from reporter to novelist), but none are active critics. The specifics in The Shining sparked in each of them an obsessive search for answers to distinctly different questions. We are never shown their faces; instead we see clips from different Kubrick movies. At Magic Lantern (JH) Not Rated


Terrance Malick, best known as the writer and director of the weird-to-the-max Tree of Life, is back, following that groundbreaking film up with another stylistic effort. Starring Ben Affleck, Javier Bardem and Rachel McAdams, the film tells the story of a man (Affleck) who falls in love with a Ukranian woman and relocates them to his native Oklahoma, only to have their love affair cool off as they both find love in the arms of others. At Magic Lantern (MB) Rated R 





Room 237


Star Trek


Pain & Gain




The Company You Keep


The Great Gatsby









Adv. Tix on Sale FAST & FURIOUS 6 Adv. Tix on Sale THE HANGOVER 3 STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sat.(1100 1200 200 230 330) 530 630 700 930 1015 Sun.(1100 1200 200 230 330) 530 630 700 930 1010 STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sat.(1230 130) 400 445 730 745 1045 Sun.(1230 130) 400 445 730 745 1030 TYLER PERRY PRESENTS PEEPLES [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1105 AM) 1045 PM THE GREAT GATSBY [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1130 245) 640 950 THE GREAT GATSBY IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1245 355) 720 900 IRON MAN 3 [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1115 1215 215 315) 515 645 830 945 IRON MAN 3 IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1245 345) 715 1015 OBLIVION [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1250 340) 710 1010 42 [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1110 AM) 1030 PM THE CROODS [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1140 205) 440 705 935

Bateman ponders the problems of technology.

The Future is Now

Airway Heights 10117 W State Rt 2 • 509-232-0444 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS

PG-13 Daily (12:50) (3:40) 6:30 9:20 Sat-Sun (10:00) In 2D Daily (1:20) (3:15) (4:10) 6:10 7:00 9:00 Sat-Sun (10:30) (12:00) and 10:00 PM


PG-13 Daily (3:15) 6:15 9:15 Sat-Sun (12:15)


Jason Bateman can’t make Disconnect feel current BY LEAH CHURNER


Adv. Tix on Sale FAST & FURIOUS 6 Adv. Tix on Sale THE HANGOVER 3 STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1115 1200 245 345) 615 700 915 930 1010 STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1215 1230 330) 430 645 815 1000 THE GREAT GATSBY [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1100 230) 600 930 THE GREAT GATSBY IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1115 245) 615 945 IRON MAN 3 [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1130 1230 300) 415 620 725 940 1030 IRON MAN 3 IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1145 320) 630 955 OBLIVION [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(130) 425 730 1025 42 [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1240) 410 715 1020 THE CROODS [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1100 155) 420 645 PAIN AND GAIN [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.(1100 AM)

Intended Publication Date(s): Friday, May 17, 2013. Saturday, May 18, 2013. Sunday, May 19, 2013. Published WA, Inlander [I_Directory_Update to Publish or Proof] 1.7" X 11" Produced: 3:15 PM ET, 5/14/2013 051413031535 Regal 865-925-9554

isconnect updates the timeworn theme of room interface, and this is interesting — there’s technophobia for the Aughts, a decade a sidebar on the screen displaying his “wish list” that ended three years ago. Granted, for frequent flyer miles and other online “gifts,” mocking a movie for being passé is a lazy form a rare degree of textural detail in this otherwise of criticism, but this movie deserves it, whacking nonspecific film. us upside the head for two hours with the perils Now we leave the peep-show palace and of smartphones, online banking and chat rooms. pick up with a reporter (Andrea Riseborough) Its ready-made datedness spotlights the general who wants to do an exposé on it. Rather than flaw of Web-based plots: They become ridicuan ambitious blog maven like House of Cards’ Zoe lous faster than you can say Friendster. And the Barnes, she’s a reporter for the local TV news, a execution is straight-up condescending. Comregular media dinosaur with the mid-’90s anchorputer solitaire as a symbol lady hairdo and tattooed-on for modern man’s isolation? eyebrows to prove it. A modDISCONNECT Really? ernized Ace in the Hole ensues, Rated R What we have here is a with iPads. In another part At Magic Lantern mawkish, preachy picture of town, a Facebook-bullying Directed by Henry Alex Rubin that tries to distract us with Starring Jason Bateman, Hope Davis, Jonah Bobo crisis unfolds. Elsewhere a copious display of bare is an amateur vigilante breasts. It starts out with plot lifted straight from promise: In the first scene’s virtuosic track2004’s Crash. ing shot, we roam the dingy halls of a “porn When Bateman finally arrives, playing the house” run by a pimp played by Marc Jacobs dad of the bullied teen (Bobo), his talents are (yes, that Marc Jacobs), where each room is wasted on unimaginative writing (“Maybe I arranged as the set for a webcam chat. There’s haven’t been the best father in the world”) and a frilly, pink “princess room” thrown together an embarrassing slow-motion fistfight involving a with the judicious use of lights and curtains, and broom. As signaled by the title, it ultimately takes a “bad boy’s room” where a giant tiger tapestry real-life crises for these characters to truly “conhangs over the bed. A young man (Max Thierinect.” Not an invalid point, but Disconnect has little ot) plops down beneath the tapestry, next to his more to say on the subject. And come on, guys: trusty penis pump. We see him through the chatThere’s nothing cinematic about Googling. 

Adv. Tix on Sale FAST & FURIOUS 6 Adv. Tix on Sale THE HANGOVER 3 STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri.(1230 130) 415 445 730 820 1035 Sat.(1200 1230 345) 415 700 730 1005 1035 Sun.(1145 1230 250) 410 550 740 900 IRON MAN 3 IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sat.(1245 355) 710 1015 Sun.(1245 PM) 400 PM 730 PM THE GREAT GATSBY IN REAL D 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sat.(1225 340) 655 1010 Sun.(1225 PM) 440 PM 820 PM Big Screen: STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sat.(100 PM) 435 PM 800 PM Sun.(100 PM) 435 PM 825 PM STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri.(1200 345) 700 1005 Sat.(1130 240) 600 915 Sun.(210 PM) 520 PM 855 PM Big Screen: IRON MAN 3 [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(115 PM) 425 PM 810 PM THE GREAT GATSBY [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sat.(1210 325) 640 955 Sun.(1225 PM) 420 PM 745 PM IRON MAN 3 [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sat.(1215 315) 630 945 Sun.(1200 300) 605 905 MUD (PG-13) Fri. - Sat.(1205 315) 635 935 Sun.(1155 255) 600 905 PAIN AND GAIN [CC,DV] (R) Fri.405 PM 705 PM 1020 PM Sat.405 PM 705 PM 1015 PM Sun.(240 PM) 540 PM 840 PM OBLIVION [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri.(1225 325) 630 940 Sat.(1150 325) 630 940 Sun.(1150 245) 545 845 42 [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sat.(1235 340) 645 950 Sun.(1235 PM) 415 PM 820 PM GI JOE: RETALIATION [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri.(1200 PM) Sat.(1135 AM) Sun.(1130 AM 1135 AM) THE CROODS [CC,DV] (PG) Fri.(240) 510 740 1010 Sat.(220) 450 720 950 Sun.405 PM 635 PM 910 PM ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH [CC] (PG) Fri. - Sat.(105 PM) Sun.(1140 AM) Times For 05/17 - 05/19

PG-13 Daily (1:20) (4:10) 7:00 9:50 Sat-Sun (10:30) In 2D Daily (12:50) (1:40) (3:40) (4:30) 6:30 7:20 9:20 Sat-Sun (10:00) (10:50) and 10:10 PM


R Daily (1:30) (4:10) 6:45 9:35 Sat-Sun (10:50)


PG-13 Daily (1:40) (4:20) 7:00 9:45 Sat-Sun (11:15)


PG-13 Daily 6:45 9:30


PG Daily (2:25) (4:40) Sat-Sun (12:15)


Opens Wednesday, May 22nd R Wed 10:00 PM Thu (2:50) (3:20) (5:00) (5:30) 7:10 7:40 9:20 9:50


12622 N Division • 509-232-7727


PG-13 Daily (10:00) (12:50) (3:40) 6:30 9:20 In 2D Daily (10:30) (12:00) (1:20) (3:15) (4:10) 6:10 7:00 9:00 10:00


PG-13 Daily (12:15) (3:15) 6:15 9:15 In 2D Daily (12:45) (3:45) 6:45 9:45

TYLER PERRY PRESENTS PEEPLES PG-13 Daily (5:15) 7:15 9:15


PG-13 Daily (12:30) (1:20) (3:20) 6:10 7:00 9:00 In 2D Daily (10:00) (10:30) (12:00) (12:50) (3:00) (3:40) (4:10) (5:50) 6:30 8:40 9:20 9:50


R Daily (10:50) (1:30) (4:10) 6:45 9:35


PG-13 Daily (11:15) (1:40) (4:20) 7:00 9:45


PG-13 Daily (12:10) (3:20) 6:15 9:00


PG Daily (10:40) (12:50) (3:00) (5:10) 7:20


ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH PG Daily (12:50) (3:00) (5:10)


Opens Wednesday, May 22nd R Wed 10:00 PM Thu (10:30) (11:00) (12:40) (1:10) (2:50) (3:20) (5:00) (5:30) 7:10 7:40 9:20 9:50 Showtimes in ( ) are at bargain price. Special Attraction — No Passes Showtimes Effective 5/16/13-5/23/13

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 39



MAY 17 | 8PM





MAY 25 | 8PM



MAY 31 | 7PM




JULY 18 | 8PM



AUG 8 | 7:30PM






AUG 22 | 8PM




40 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013



The Cowboy’s Cowboy A Canadian sings about the life — not just the lifestyle — of the new West BY MARTY DEMAREST


Corb Lund

hat’s a cowboy?” Corb Lund asks. “The word cowboy gets thrown around so carelessly these days, it’s offensive and an affront to the culture sometimes. So I’m awfully gun-shy about going around saying I’m a cowboy when there are guys out there still working cattle for a living.” So allow me (somebody who is actually “working cattle for a living”) to make a judgment call: Corb Lund is a cowboy. I know this because Corb’s grandpa and my grandpa raised hell together on the same Rocky Mountain prairies. Our dads climbed onto the same string of broncs in the summer rodeos. And even though Corb now leads a cattle-free life in an oil-rich Canadian metropolis, I usually see him with a guitar slung around his neck, standing onstage, testifying to a Western heritage that nobody but us cowboys can own. “I grew up in the country,” Corb explains over the phone. “Both grandpas had family ranches, I can ride, sort cattle, I used to rodeo and I’m a really shitty roper. But I don’t do any of that now, I just sing about it.” Just singing about it, of course, is a big part of the cowboy tradition — one that Corb has turned into his own brand of success. His music is a sort of highbrow honky-tonk, boom-chicka-boom country disco that Corb has failed to define but which has earned him a Juno award, a shelf of Canadian Country Music awards, not to mention an Americana Music Association “Emerging Artist” nomination for his sixth album. His most recent release, Cabin Fever, has drawn raves from the likes of the New York Times and Washington Post. And what they praise him for isn’t his ...continued on next page

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 41

MUSIC | country “the cowboy’s cowboy,” continued...

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42 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013

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generic curbside appeal, but his particular take on the Western world. The nouns that fill mainstream country music — trucks, beer and girls — turn up in Corb’s songs too, but they’re brought to life by verbs and adjectives that Nashville wouldn’t touch. The truck gets stuck. The beer is switched for whiskey. And the girl leaves Corb for NYC. Veterinarians dispense horse tranquilizers to their human customers. Ropers dally off their own thumbs. A boy learns that his horse just died. Bovine alfalfa bloat ruins lives. Rockabilly goth chicks cuddle up next to suicidal gunmen, hard-drinking Mormons and unneighborly Christians. “I’m a naturally curious person,” Corb says. “As much as I love the West and Western people and cowboy stuff, there are many topics and areas of interest that 97 percent of rural people don’t seem interested in. My dad was an exception to this and an inspiration. He was a renaissance cowboy; an artist and a veterinarian and a rodeo hand and a cattleman.” That worldliness is something Corb has inherited. I’ve personally witnessed him work up a tavern full of Seattle hipsters to hollering “Yeehaw!” I’ve seen him inspire off-the-grid vegans to jump to their bare feet and start dancing on the grass to his oil rigger tribute “Roughest Neck Around.” And I’ve watched mineral-rich landowners doff their caps for his antiexploitation anthem “This is My Prairie.” Someone even rode a horse into one of his shows. “One of the things I’m most proud of is the diversity of our audience,” Corb says. “It truly is a wide audience. We play about half country festivals and half folk/songwriter/underground country fests. It’s a good mix. I would always have thought rural people would get the most out of my songs, but lots of urban types seem to pick up on it, too. Maybe it’s exotic. Or maybe they just like the boom-chickaboom.” n Corb Lund & the Hurtin’ Albertans • Sat, May 18, at 9 pm • Chateau Rive at the Flour Mill • 621 W. Mallon Ave. • $12; $15 day of show • Allages • • (800) 325-SEAT

MUSIC | americana

Echoes of the Past

Pokey LaFarge

If rootsy Americana is your thing, Pokey LaFarge’s is making your new favorite songs By Gawain Fadeley


n case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been in the middle of a “roots” revival lately. These days, kids are more apt to strap on a banjo and a bow tie than any time since the Great Depression. But the current old-time American music bandwagon — like handlebar mustaches, artisanal canning, and “heritage” denim — is unfortunately beginning to seem like an affectation, an empty gesture aimed at capturing something authentic in an increasingly inauthentic America. That being said, for every trendspotter, there are dozens of hard-working and hardtouring groups who’ve earned their roots stripes and

have the chops to hold up those suspenders. St. Louis’ Pokey LaFarge and the South City Three is certainly one of those groups. Looking like a dusty, prewar photo booth portrait come to life, LaFarge cuts an evocative figure on stage. He has the jovial, ringleader bearing of an older time, and the combination of original material and his excellent band remind you that what you’re witnessing is most definitely not a flash in the pan. After years of traveling and busking around the country, LaFarge formed the South City Three in 2009

with bassist Joey Glynn, guitarist Adam Hoskins, and multi-instrumentalist Ryan Koenig (the band added coronet and clarinet to the mix in the past year). Sharing the stage with the likes of Old Crow Medicine Show, Wanda Jackson, and Southern Culture on the Skids, they’ve staked their claim as a dynamic live band, anchored by LaFarge’s vocals and songwriting and setting themselves apart with their above-average musicianship. Following a handful of small-label releases, two of which, Riverboat Soul (2010) and Middle of Everywhere (2011), won consecutive Best Americana Album nods from the Independent Music Awards, the band’s newest release is due next month on Jack White’s Third Man Records. White first heard the group on the radio in Nashville and invited them to record at Third Man and eventually to back him on a track from his latest solo album, Blunderbuss. LaFarge draws from a wide range of influences including the singing brakeman Jimmie Rodgers, Bill Monroe, western-swing pioneer Milton Brown, and a host of little-known string bands, gospel groups, and country blues singers. While that’s no doubt a fail-proof formula, he jumps ahead of the pack by virtue of his songwriting, which manages to seem timeless without venturing into outright imitation. Saturday’s show with Spokane’s own Cursive Wires at The Bing is sure to be a perfect mating of music and venue, with the venerable old Spokane room’s bygone style and Pokey LaFarge’s lively take on the classic American sound. n Pokey LaFarge and the South City Three with Cursive Wires and Luke Pate • Sat, May 18, at 7 pm • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • $10 • All-ages • • (800) 325-SEAT

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MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 43

music | sound advice


J = the inlander RECOMMENDs this show J = All Ages Show

Thursday, 5/16

Big City Saloon (474-0579), DJ Fusion Carr’s Corner, Scarub, Stay Tuned, MaulSkull, Masta X-Kid Cellar, Eric Neuhausser Coeur d’Alene Casino, PJ Destiny Gibliano Brothers, Dueling Pianos J THE Hop!, Loss Monstarz, Whurlwind Entertainment Iron Horse, The Hitmen J Knitting Factory, Marianas Trench, Air Dubai, The Good Natured, DJ Protector J Laguna Café, Just Plain Darin LeftBank Wine Bar, Nick Grow J Luxe Coffeehouse, Dirk Lind Marquee, MCSQUARED O’Shay’s, Open mic Phat House, The Tone Collaborative J Revel77 (280-0518), Sea Giant Roadhouse, Sammy Eubanks Swamp, DJ Aphrodisiac The Center, Veil of Maya, The Contortionist, Odysee, Verbera, New Jack City Viking Bar & Grill, Cross My Heart Zola, Cruxie

Friday, 5/17

315 Martinis & Tapas, Craig Catlet Trio J Baby Bar, Couches, Belt of Vapor, Normal Babies Beverly’s (208-765-4000), Robert Vaughn Big City Saloon (474-0579), DJ Fusion Bigfoot, Inner Sanctum Blue Spark, DJ Mark Thomas Bolo’s (891-8995), The Coleman Underground Boomers (368-9847), Smoken Wheels Buckhorn Inn (244-3991), Cliff Park

44 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013


eattle band Rose Windows describe themselves as “insufferable psychedelic garbage”… but I still pre-ordered their debut album approximately 13 minutes ago after listening to only one of their kaleidoscopic songs. You see, it’s not really psychedelic garbage. Rather, Rose Windows is like an acid trip where the guitarist kicks ass and folk music is actually cool. The band has traveled up and down the West Coast in recent years, delving deep into the psyche and the past to find a sound that is unique and completely their own. It’s exploratory, experimental. Kind of like college. But unlike college, this music doesn’t land you drunk on someone’s front lawn. Instead, this music’s journey ends in an allegorical utopia of folk-infused rock. — SARAH MUNDS Rose Windows • Sat, May 18, at 9 pm • Baby Bar • 827 W. 1st Ave. • Free • 21+ • 847-1234


Cellar, Brad Perry, Bones Bolan & Nelson J the Center, Hurt, Witchburn, Stepping On My Soul, The Nixon Rodeo Coeur d’Alene Casino, Mike Morris Coldwater Creek Wine Bar (208-263-6971), Mike and Shanna Thompson Country Club (208-676-2582), Truck Stop Betty Curley’s (208-773-5816), The Hitmen Daley’s Cheap Shots, Stranglers of Bombay Fizzie Mulligans, Shiner Gem State Club (208-245-9916), The Jam Band Gibliano Brothers, Dueling Pianos Grande Ronde Cellars (4558161), Truck Mills J THE Hop!, No Bragging Rights, Being As an Ocean, Legion, Verah Falls, A Pyrrhic Victory, Deviance, What Wings Once Held

Impulse (242-7000), DJ Ramsin Iron Horse Bar (926-8411), Phoenix Irv’s (624-4450), DJ Prophesy Knitting Factory, Jerrod Niemann, Aces Up J Laguna Café, Pamela Benton LeftBank Wine Bar, Kari Marguerite J Luxe Coffeehouse, Dirk Lind Marquee, Likes Girls, MCSQUARED Max at Mirabeau (922-6252), Plastic Saints Mezzo Pazzo Wine Bar, Joe Caruso J Mootsy’s, Blowouts, Big Yuck Mouth, The Lucky Boys nYne, The Cataracs, DJs Hype, Freaky Fred, Mayhem and MCSquared Phat House, Drew Blincow, Tyler Aker, Folkinception Rain Lounge (456-5656), Just Plain Darin Red Lion River Inn (328-9526),


or more than a decade, a quintet of musical Portlanders has traversed the nation, sewing together a patchwork quilt of shows, life experiences, songs, and folk-rock albums. Songs that are thoughtfully written and music that stands out from the crowd. Moods that inspire contemplation one moment, elation the next. Blitzen Trapper’s sound has caught on in a big way: its album Furr sauntered onto Rolling Stone’s best albums list of 2008. Now, the band is making its way to little ol’ Idaho, to the little ol’ college town of Moscow, for our very own ears’ enjoyment. — SARAH MUNDS Blitzen Trapper with Sera Cahoone • Sun, May 19 at 8 pm • Kenworthy Performing Arts Center • 508 S. Main St., Moscow, Idaho • $15-$18 • All-ages • (208) 8824127 Chris Rieser and The Nerve Roadhouse, Garrett Bartley Band Rock Bar (443-3796), Armed and Dangerous SCC (533-7000), Flying Mammals Shop, DJ Wax808 Silver Fox (208-667-9442), The Usual Suspects Soulful Soups & Spirits, DJ Deuce Splash (208-765-4000), Bruiser Twelve String Brewing Co. (9908622), Maxie Ray Mills Viking Bar & Grill, Echo Elysium Zola, The Rub

Saturday, 5/18

315 Martinis & Tapas, Truck Mills J Baby Bar, Rose Windows (see story above) Beverly’s (208-765-4000), Robert Vaughn Big City Saloon (474-0579), DJ Fusion Bigfoot, Inner Sanctum

J Bing Crosby Theater, Pokey LaFarge & the South City Three (see story on page 43), Cursive Wires, Luke Pate Blue Spark, DJ Darkside Som Bolo’s (891-8995), The Coleman Underground Bon Bon (413-1745), Soul Brunch with DJ Darkside Som Boomers (368-9847), Smoken Wheels Buckhorn Inn (244-3991), Cliff Park Cellar, Bones Bolan & Nelson J THE Center, Battle of the Bands feat. The Lion Oh My!, Damage, The Finns, Storm Normandy, Vultra, One Match Left, Wake of Time, Snoglomen, 5 Times Over J Chaps (624-4182), Just Plain Darin with Tyler Coulston J Chateau Rive (795-2030), Corb Lund & The Hurtin’ Albertans (see story on page 41), Sam Platts & The Kootenai Three

CHECKERBOARD BAR, B. Radicals, The Yes! Reflex CLOVER (487-2937), Karrie O’Neill COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Mike Morris COLDWATER CREEK WINE BAR (208263-6971), Brother Music COUER D’ALENE CELLARS (208-6642336), Les Moore Duo COUNTRY CLUB (208-676-2582), Truck Stop Betty CURLEY’S (208-773-5816), The Hitmen DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Stranglers of Bombay FIZZIE MULLIGANS, Shiner GEM STATE CLUB (208-245-9916), The Jam Band GIBLIANO BROTHERS, Dueling Pianos  THE HOP!, Gotham City Rave feat. Venture Crew HUCKLEBERRY’S (624-1349), Union Street IMPULSE (242-7000), DJ Ramsin IRON HORSE BAR (926-8411), Phoenix IRV’S (624-4450), DJ Prophesy KELLY’S IRISH PUB (208-667-1717), Scott Reid  KNITTING FACTORY, Blistered Earth (Metallica Tribute), Soblivios, Evolved LA ROSA CLUB (208-255-2100), Open mic


Get your event listed in the paper and online by emailing getlisted@inlander. com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date. LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Nick Grow  LUXE COFFEEHOUSE, Dirk Lind MARQUEE, Likes Girls, MCSQUARED MAX AT MIRABEAU (922-6252), Plastic Saints NYNE, DJ C-Mad ONE SHOT CHARLIE’S (208-6899968), Flying Mammals PHAT HOUSE, Moksha RED LION RIVER INN (328-9526), Chris Rieser and The Nerve  REVEL77 (280-0518), The Oracle’s Kitchen ROADHOUSE, Garrett Bartley Band  ROCKET MARKET (343-2253), Cami Bradley SADDLE INN (624-1228), Garrett Bartley SHOP, Moksha SIDEBAR AND GRILL (290-5100), The Lovers SPLASH (208-765-4000), Bruiser SPOKANE VALLEY EAGLES (9223433), Desert Rose Band VIKING BAR & GRILL, Charlie Butts and The Filter Tips ZOLA, Hot Club of Spokane

Sunday, 5/19

CELLAR, Steve Ridler DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Open mic GENO’S (487-9541), Eddie Haskell Jazz Trio  KENWORTHY, Blitzen Trapper (see story on facing page), Sera Cahoone MARQUEE, Likes Girls, DJ D3vin3 MOON TIME, Carey Brazil SADDLE INN (624-1228), The Two Dudes


ZOLA, The Bucket List

Monday, 5/20

BLUE SPARK, Open mic BON BON (413-1745), DJ Darkside Som  BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE, Wolves in Washington  CALYPSOS COFFEE (208-6650591), Open mic CELLAR, TC Tye EICHARDT’S, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills RED ROOM LOUNGE, Bakin Phat RICO’S (332-6566), Open mic SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS, DJ Fusion ZOLA, Nate Ostrander Trio

Tuesday, 5/21

 CHAIRS COFFEE (340-8787), Open mic CHECKERBOARD BAR, Sawmill Joe  THE HOP!, Elektro Grave JOHN’S ALLEY, Open mic KELLY’S IRISH PUB (208-667-1717), Powell Brothers  LUXE COFFEEHOUSE, Trickster Fox MOSCOW FOOD CO-OP (208-8828537), Musaiique RICO’S (332-6566), The Underground Blues Band ROADHOUSE, Luke Jaxon VIKING BAR & GRILL, AG/CP ZOLA, Dan Conrad and The Urban Achievers

Wednesday, 5/22,

BLUE SPARK, DJ Darkside Som CELLAR, Robbie French EICHARDT’S, Charley Packard FEDORA PUB, Kosh  GENO’S (487-9541), Open mic IRV’S (624-4450), DJ Prophesy LA ROSA CLUB (208-255-2100), Will Foster  LUXE COFFEEHOUSE, Andy Rumsey MARQUEE, Likes Girls, DJ D3vin3 MEZZO PAZZO WINE BAR, Nick Grow  REVEL77 (280-0518), Chelsey Heidenreich RIPPLES (326-5577), Dru Heller Trio ROADHOUSE, Last Chance Band ROCK BAR (443-3796), DJ Sonny SEASONS OF COUER D’ALENE (208664-8008), Truck Mills SUNDOWN SALOON (208-765-6585), Sam Platts and the Kootenai Three ZOLA, Island Soul


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Coming Up…

DOWNTOWN SPOKANE, The Inlander’s Volume Music Festival feat. 70+ bands on May 31 and June 1 NORTHERN QUEST CASINO, Jewel on May 31 ELK PUBLIC HOUSE (363-1973), Elkfest feat. Aan, The Cave Singers, The Builders and the Butchers, Pickwick and more on June 7-9 THE CENTER, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Bass Drum of Death on June 16 GLOVER FIELD, KYRS Music Fest feat. Menomena, Finn Riggins, Jonathan Warren & The Billy Goats, Real Life Rockaz, Cathedral Pearls, BBBBandits on July 13

1727 E. Sprague Ave • 509-535-1111

401 W. 1st Avenue 509-413-1185


315 RESTAURANT • 315 E. Wallace Ave., Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-9660 AVENUE PIZZARIA • 2001 W. Pacific Ave. • 624-0236 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 THE BELLTOWER • 125 SE Spring St., Pullman • 509-334-4195 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division • 467-9638 BLUE SPARK • 15 S. Howard St. • 838-5787 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 CARR’S CORNER • 230 S. Washington • 474-1731 THE CELLAR • 317 E. Sherman, Coeur d’Alene • 208-664-9463 THE CENTER • 6425 N. Lidgerwood St. • 742-7879 THE CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague Ave • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 South Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2467 DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S • 212 Cedar St. Sandpoint • 208-263-4005 FEDORA PUB • 1726 W. Kathleen, Coeur d’Alene • 208-765-8888 FIZZIE MULLIGAN’S • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GIBLIANO BROTHERS • 718 W. Riverside Ave. • 315-8765 THE HOP! • 706 N. Monroe St. • 368-4077 IRON HORSE • 407 Sherman, Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-7314 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208883-7662 JONES RADIATOR • 120 E. Sprague Ave. • 747-6005 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 4480887 LUXE COFFEEHOUSE • 1017 W. First Ave. • 642-5514 MARQUEE • 522 W. Riverside Ave • 838-3332 MEZZO PAZZO WINE BAR • 2718 E. 57th Ave. • 863-9313 MOON TIME • 1602 Sherman, Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-2331 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 NORTHERN QUEST CASINO • 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague • 474-1621 O’SHAY’S • 313 Coeur d’Alene Lake Drive, Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-4666 THE PHAT HOUSE • 417 S. Browne St. • 443-4103 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W, Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 ROADHOUSE COUNTRY ROCK BAR • 20 N. Raymond Rd., Spokane Valley • 413-1894 SERGIO’S • 825 W. Riverside Ave. • 7472085 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 THE SWAMP • 1904 W 5th Ave • 458-2337 VIKING BAR & GRILL • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 ZOLA • 22 W. Main • 624-2416

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 45 44053-05 May 9-Anniversary Sale-8V.indd 1

5/6/13 8:09 AM

stephen schlange photo


We all know it’s there, in the back of your closet on a hanger. Carefully zipped up and tediously preserved, your leather jacket begs to see the sunlight. Your hair begs to be greased once again. Your lungs yearn for the sweet aroma of a cigarette, smoked errantly as you twirl a butterfly knife with your other hand. You’re in high school once again; classic cars and pink-slip races. You burst into song throughout the day, singing about greased lightnin’ and just how hopelessly devoted you are to your summer love. It’s Grease, and the Spokane Civic Theatre’s executive artistic director, Yvonne A.K. Johnson, is bringing it to life beginning this weekend when she directs the classic musical. — SARAH MUNDS Grease the Musical • May 17-June 16 • Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm • $22-$29 • Spokane Civic Theatre • 1020 N. Howard St. • • 325-2507

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46 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013


This annual springtime celebration of Spokane’s sense of community — and the region’s fragrant purple lilac blossoms, of course — has been taking place for three-quarters of a century now. This year, organizers are making a point to show locals that even after 75 years, the parade still rocks. For those who’ve grown up in the Lilac City, the parade is a semi-sacred event full of hometown goodness that has been a family tradition for generations. — KARA STERMER Spokane Lilac Festival and Armed Forces Torchlight Parade • Sat, May 18 at 7:45 pm • Downtown Spokane • spokanelilacfestival. org


Film festivals are all the rage right now, and local high school students want a piece of the silver-screened action. More than 20 young filmmakers plan to present during this second-annual festival, featuring work by students at two Spokane high schools — North Central and Ferris — which both use red as a school color. The films cover a variety of topics, from serious to humorous, making this festival a real-life showcase of these young filmmaker’s cinematic chops. — ELI FRANCOVICH Best of the Red Film Festival • Mon, May 20 at 7 pm • $1/students, $7 • Magic Lantern • 25 W. Main Ave. • • 209-2383


Only one beard will be left standing after Spokane’s finest whiskers face off in the ring to benefit Spokane Youth Boxing. Unlike some other formal competitions of facial hair eminence, there are no weight classes, if you will. Beards of all lengths, all mustaches, all whiskerinas — women with elaborate fake beards — will compete together in a randomly set bracket of up to 32 competitors and advance based on votes from the fans. The competitor signup begins at 7 pm, with the event starting an hour later. — LISA WAANANEN Mustache Madness • Sat, May 18 • 8 pm • $10 • Spokane Boxing and Martial Arts • 1826 E. Sprague Ave. •

A New Evening Accounting Program at Whitworth Downtown BOOKS KING OF THE MEMOIR

David Sedaris doesn’t just read from his books. Sure, he stands up in front of people, usually at a podium, and has his book — or perhaps some new material — in front of him, but what he’s really doing is telling you a story. Perhaps no modern writer has captured the art of the personal memoir quite like Sedaris, who is used to taking a big theater stage when he comes to town, but this time around is snuggling into Auntie’s Bookstore. He’s touring behind his new book, Let’s Explore Diabetes With Owls, which is included in the price of a ticket to this event. — MIKE BOOKEY David Sedaris • Wed, May 22 at 7 pm • $27 • Auntie’s Bookstore • 402 W. Main Ave. • • 838-0206

Stand-Up Comedy Local comedians. Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s Comedy, 2721 N. Market St. (4837300) Prashanth Venkataramanujam Live comedy show. May 16 at 11:30 am. Free. SFCC SUB, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. (533-4197) Product Placement Improv show based on audience suggestions. Fridays at 8 pm through May 31. $7-$9. All-ages. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. (747-7045) Safari Short-form improv games based on audience suggestions. Saturdays at 9 pm through May 25. $7. Blue Door, 815 W. Garland. (747-7045)

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events | calendar


• B.A. in Management and Accounting, or CPA prep for those with a bachelor’s degree.


Bike to Work Week Spokane hosts the nationwide, weeklong event encouraging bike communiting, featuring a pancake breakfast, energizing stations, a ride of silence and more. May 13-19. Beyond Word Benefit Breakfast A fundraiser event benefiting RiteCare Spokane, offering speech therapy for children at no cost to families. May 16 from 8-9 am. Spokane Club, 1002 W. Riverside Ave. ritecarespokane. org (838-2310)

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GETYOURHANDSDIRTY SAVE ON EKO COMPOST AND PREMIUM GARDEN SOIL MAY 17-19 NORTH SIDE 8721 N Fairview Rd 467-0685 VALLEY 19215 E Broadway 893-3521 Visit us online for more details:

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 47


Advice Goddess Tail From The Crypt

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. I do have trust issues, having been cheated on in past relationships. My boyfriend’s best friend of six years, a beautiful and intelligent woman, passed away three months ago. Since then, he has visited her grave weekly and kept a photo of them together posted online. When she was alive, the two of them spoke daily about everything — including intimate details and problems in our relationship. I made amy alkon clear that their constant communication and boundarycrossing details were not okay with me, yet they continued. They claimed they were strictly platonic. However, since I’m a woman who has been fooled before, I can’t help but suspect otherwise. I love my boyfriend and want to support him in his time of grief, but I don’t feel that he sees how hard it is for me to see the man I love mourn this woman he loved and lost. —Struggling It can be unsettling when your man comes home with tear stains on his collar, smelling like a trip to the cemetery. But the guy’s best friend died only three months ago, and he’s visiting her grave once a week; it’s not like he’s up all night with the Ouija board, asking her for advice on your sex life. It must’ve been a bummer to find that your man’s best friend of six years wasn’t just a placeholder in his life until he could find a girlfriend. And yes, friends confide in each other, share their lives, and give each other feedback. If there was certain information that you wanted to remain private — if, say, he was revealing details that you felt should be between you two and the headboard — you needed to come to some agreement about that together. But, you don’t get to mandate that your boyfriend’s friendship revolve around topics of conversation you don’t find invasive, such as the weather, who’s about to nuke whom, and celebrity parole violations. As for why the dearly departed is still clinging to life in your boyfriend’s online photos, it’s probably for the same reason that I (like a surprising number of people) still have the phone numbers of several dead friends programmed into my phone. It feels good keeping them in my life, even in such a mundane way, and I refuse to have a hand in making them any more gone than they already are. You have “trust issues” because you’re “a woman who has been fooled before,” not because you have videotape of your boyfriend and his friend making out in the coffee shop. Unless he’s given you reason to believe he’s unethical, your jealousy and suspicions arose out of your failure to take responsibility for what was done to you in the past. There are a few crafty sociopaths out there who can hide their true character, but chances are, you got cheated on because you didn’t really want to look at who you were with, and that came back to bite you. Accepting that should help you be there for your boyfriend — tempting as it is to take the jealous girlfriend thing to a whole new level by asking whether that tapping on the wall is his dead friend trying to arrange a time for some out-of-this-world sex.

I Sing The Buddy Electric

When I got a boyfriend six months ago, I became a lot less available to my best friend. I knew she was disappointed, but she took it in stride and even claimed to understand. I’m bagging a lot of guilt now because I call her the most when I’m having trouble with my boyfriend. —Bad Friend

It isn’t like you’ve stopped sharing your life with her — not if you count all those times your butt dialed her number and left a muffled five-minute message on her voicemail. Assuming your friend isn’t just a doormat, she’s been a good friend by not getting all miffy that you’ve been preoccupied. Your friendship probably can’t take up as much of your lifespace as it did before, but you can recommit to it by making time for her regularly with phone, Skype, and coffee dates. You might also try an idea from “Friendfluence” author Carlin Flora — celebrating the success of a longterm friendship as you would a romantic relationship and treating your friend to dinner and reminiscing about how you met and the great times you’ve had. (Think of it as your “friendiversary.”) This should help you avoid undervaluing your friendship, which is important, in case what was proudly perky on you takes a downturn into something a little more National Geographic. That’s when you can really count on your female friends to stand by you — and if they’re less affected by gravity, to stand by you in public as often as possible. n ©2013, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email (

48 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013

events | calendar Host Families NeededLocal families are needed to host Afghan children (three boys, two girls, ages 7-12) who are set to arrive here to receive medical care this summer, for six weeks starting on June 20. Children accompanied by an interpreter. (208-660-8088) SFCC Pow WowCultural celebration and Native American graduation ceremony. May 17 from 5 pm-midnight, May 18 from 11 am-midnight. Graduation ceremony for Native American students attending area high schools May 18 at 3 pm. SFCC Gymnasium and Fitness Center, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. (533-4331) Breakthrough for Brain Tumors 5K run/walk to raise awareness for brain tumors and funds to benefit the American Brain Cancer Association. May 18 at 9 am. Spokane Falls Community College, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. SK BallDinner and barn dance event benefiting the Ronald McDonald House Charities of Spokane. May 18 at 6 pm. $75. Spokane Fair & Expo Center, 404 N. Havana St. events Kidical Mass Bike RidTwo-mile family ride on anything with wheels that rolls, hosted by Spokane’s Summer Parkways. May 18 at 1 pm. Free. Begins at Chief Garry Park, 2701 E. Sinto Ave. Mustache Madness Fundraiser Fundraiser benefiting Spokane Youth Boxing, hosted by Spokane Beard and Mustache Foundation, featuring a styled beard competition (32 spots). May 18 at 7 pm. $10 to compete or watch. Spokane Boxing, 1826 E. Sprague Ave. (499-7480) Spokane Lilac Festival & Torchlight ParadeThe festival celebrates its 75th anniversary this year, with the Armed Forces Torchlight Parade and Cruzin’ The Falls Car Show. May 18, car show and cruise at 10 am, parade starts at 7:45 pm. Free. Downtown Spokane. Cinderella Tea & Fashion Show Event benefiting “Because There is Hope,” a nonprofit assisting those affected by cancer. May 18 at 10:30 am. $27.50. Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. (258-6851) Interactive Robotics DayPlay with and learn about robots at the musuem and take home a mini-bot. May 18 from 11 am-4 pm. Free with museum admission ($7-$10). Mobius Science Center, 811 W. Main Ave. (443-5669) Generations Tea PartyA tea party for women, celebrating all generations of women and featuring a health talk on proper nutrition, exercise and more in preparation for summer. May 18 at 1 pm. Free, registration required. Deaconess Health & Education Center, 910 W. Fifth Ave. (473-5639) Women Helping Women Fund 21st annual luncheon fundraiser benefiting local programs that aid women and children in the Inland Northwest. May 20 at 11:30 am. $125. Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (3288285) Volunteer Orientation Learn about volunteer opportunities with the social service nonprofit. May 21 from 10-11:15 am. Free. Catholic Charities Family Services center, 12 E. Fifth Ave. (358-4270)


Block PrintingLearn to carve designs into a block of wood to create a two-color print. May 18 from 12:30-4 pm. $48. Ages 12+. Argonne Library, 4322 N. Argonne Rd. clymergallery. com ( Wooden AssemblageMake a dimensional wall hanging using wooden items and other pieces. May 19 from 1-4 pm. $35, registration required. The Art Coop, 4225 N. G St. (327-3726) Microscope Slide JewelryMake a reversible necklace or pins using glass microscope slides. May 22 from 6-8 pm. $25-$45, registration required. The Art Coop, 4225 N. G St. (327-3726)


Garden FairThe Delta Gamma garden and plant sale benefits Lilac Services for the Blind. May 16. Liberty Park Florist, 1401 E. Newark Ave. (534-9381) Arboretum TourVisitors can take a walking tour of the arboretum and botanical gardens, coinciding with the peak bloom of lilies. May 16 from 1011 am. University of Idaho Arboretum & Botanical Garden, 1200 W. Palouse River Dr., Moscow. (208-885-6154) Moore-Turner Gardens Spring Opening The annual opening of the historic gardens. Gardens open through Aug. 31. Hours through May 31, Sat-Sun from 10 am-4:30 pm. June 1-Aug. 31, Wed-Sun, 10 am-7 pm. Sept. hours Sat-Sun, 10 am-4 pm. Free. Moore-Turner Heritage Gardens, 507 W. 7th Ave. (448-9335) Manito Park Trees TourTour two of three, hosted by Master Gardener Ed Lester, hosted by the Friends of Manito. May 18 at 10 am. Free, registration required. Manito Park, 1800 S. Grand Blvd. (456-8038) Rainwater Collection Workshop Learn how to utilize rainwater to water your garden. May 18 from 11 am-1 pm. $20, preregistration required. Sun People Dry Goods Co., 32 W. Second Ave. (368-9378) Garden PartyThe market opens its greenhouse for the season and offers wine, chocolate and cheese tasting and more to visitors. May 18 from 11 am-5 pm. Free admission. Petunia’s Marketplace, 2010 N. Madison St. (328-4257) Think & DrinkA “Think & Drink” conversation hosted by Humanities Washington, “Bit by Bit: The Digital Evolution of the Neighborhood,” hosted by local technology experts. May 22 at 7:30 pm. Free.


Farm Heritage FairA fundraiser event benefiting the Spokane Valley Heritage Museum, featuring demos, historic farm equipment, activities, a petting zoo and more. May 17-19 from 10 am-6 pm. $3-$15. Spokane Valley Heritage Museum, 12114 E. Sprague. (922-4570) Chalk Art FestivalArtists and the public are invited to decorate the floor of The Warehouse with chalk art as a benefit for the Eureka Institute. May 17 from 9 am-7 pm and May 18 from 9 am-3 pm. The Warehouse, 513 Oak St., Sandpoint.


A Sea ChangeScreening of a documentary on the health and future of our planet’s oceans. May 16 from 4-6 pm. Free. Sun People Dry Goods, 32 W. Second Ave. (368-9378) Stoker Drama (Rated R). May 17-18, times vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow. (208-882-4127) Seabiscuit Screening of the Oscarnominated film. May 17 at 7 pm. Free. Lidgerwood Presbyterian, 4449 N. Nevada St. (487-9667) Bike Film FestivalFilm screenings as part of Sandpoint’s Bike Week. May 18 at 7:30 pm. Panida Theater, 300 N. First Ave., Sandpoint. (208-263-9191) Best of the RedSecond annual teen film festival featuring work by students at Ferris and North Central high schools. May 20 at 7 pm. $1-$7. The Magic Lantern, 25 W. Main Ave. (354-6154) SFCC International Film Festival “Even the Rain” May 21. All shows start at 7:15 pm. $4.50/show. The Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland. (533-3222) Red GoldScreening of the documentary on how a large-scale mining project in Bristol Bay, Alaska, threatens its salmon habitat. May 22 at 7 pm. Free. Panida Theater, 300 N. First Ave., Sandpoint. (208-263-9191)

Food & Drink

Famous White WinesSample esteemed white wines from around the world. May 17 at 7 pm. $20, reservations required. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (343-2253) Korean Food FestivalSample traditional Korean dishes. May 18 from 11 am-2 pm. Prices vary. Spokane Hope Christian Reformed Church, 806 W. Knox Ave. (325-2077) SpringFEAST Five-course seasonal, locally sourced meal paired with wine. May 19 at 7 pm. $40. Moscow Food Coop, 121 E. Fifth St. (208-882-8537) Spanish Wine DinnerSeven-course Spanish dinner paired with lesserknown Spanish wines. May 20. $120. Santé, 404 W. Main Ave. (315-4613) Wine, RefinedLearn how to pair six food flavors with six wines, an explanation of wine styles, tasting rituals, and food pairing. May 20 from 6-8 pm. $50. Inland NW Culinary Academy, 1810 N. Greene St., Bldg. 1. (279-6030) Books2Eat An annual edible book festival featuring food entries with a literary theme, judged for prizes and then eaten by attendees. May 22 from 1-4 pm. Free and open to the public. Eastern Washington University JFK Library, Cheney campus. (359-2264)


Pages of HarmonyThe Pages of Harmony men’s chorus of Spokane will present its Diamond Anniversary Celebration Show. May 16 at 7 pm. $10-$20. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. D.R.U.M. CorpsDrumming by Hayden Meadows youths with the International Folk Dance Club. May 16 at 7 pm. $5. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 William St., Post Falls. (208-457-8950)

MUSICFEST NORTHWEST Local young musicians and dancers will perform in ballet, brass, reed, string, piano, guitar, voice and other areas of creative expression as part of the weeklong competition and festival hosted by Gonzaga University. May 17 at 7 pm. Free, Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. (327-3455) SPOKANE AREA YOUTH CHOIRS “Spring Into Spring” concert featuring songs from classical to folk genres. May 17 at 7 pm. $5-$8. Westminster UCC, 411 S. Washington St. saychoirs. org (624-7992) SWEET ADELINES Regional four-part harmony a cappella convention and competition. May 17-18. $25-$35. INB Performing Arts Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (279-7000) TESLA Rock concert. May 18 at 7:30 pm. $50-$70. Northern Quest Resort & Casino, 100 N. Hayford Rd. (481-6700) SPOKANE YOUTH SYMPHONY “Around the World” season finale concert featuring special performances by the winners of the symphony’s Concerto Competition. May 19 at 4 pm. $13-$17. The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. (624-1200) ORGAN RECITAL Organist Mark Brombaugh of Tacoma will perform as part of MusicFest Northwest 2013. May 19 at 4 pm. $10. St. John’s Cathedral, 127 E. 12th Ave. (838-4277) AN AFTERNOON OF JAZZ Musicians performing include Dru Heller, Scott Steed, Brian Ward, Rachel Bade and Brendan McMurphy. May 19 from 4-6 pm. Free. Holy Names Music Center, 3910 W. Custer Dr. (326-9516) SPOKANE BRITISH BRASS BAND The ensemble performs a spring concert. May 19 at 3 pm. $10. SFCC Music Auditorium, 3410 W. Ft. George Wright Dr. (466-7698 or mwendlandt@comcast. net)


SPOKANE SHOCK Arena football game vs. New Orleans Voodoo. May 17 at 7 pm. $14-$35. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. (242-7462) FLY FISHING BASICS Learn the basics of the outdoor sport including tying flies, knots, fish species, equipment, casting and more. May 18 from 1-4 pm at North Spokane Library, 44 E. Hawthorne Rd. (893-8260) FLOODS, FLOWERS AND FEATHERS Second annual spring nature festival with events including nature hikes, kids activities, information and more. May 18 from 8 am-3 pm. Turnbull National Wildlife Refuge, 26010 S. Smith Rd., Cheney. (235-4723) NATURE & HISTORY FIELD TRIP NO. 3 Spokane-based teacher and naturalist Jack Nisbet will lead a nature tour complementing the current David Douglas exhibition at the MAC. May 18 from 9 am-3 pm. $55; lunch not included. Starts at The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. (466-2823) HOOPMANIA Three-on-three basketball tournament for boys and girls teams in grades 2-12. May 18. Mt. Spokane High School, 6015 E. Mt. Spokane Park Dr. (389-3323)

ROOT PURSUIT A team bicycle event consisting of 12 challenges throughout downtown Coeur d’Alene, benefiting the Community Roots local food share program. May 18 from 10 am-2 pm. $10/person on a 2-3 person team. Starts at Shared Harvest Community Garden, CdA. (208-667-9093) WINDERMERE MARATHON Full or halfmarathon length USATF Certified and Boston Marathon qualifier race benefiting the Windermere Foundation, assisting local low-income and homeless families. May 19 at 7 am. $87-$125. Race goes from Liberty Lake to Riverfront Park along the Centennial Trail.


THE DIXIE SWIM CLUB Comedy. Through June 2. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $21. Spokane Civic Theater, 1020 N. Howard St. (325-2507) SEEDS OF CHANGE Premiere performance of a comedy written by Spokane playwright Craig Rickett. Through May 26. Wed-Sat (except May 18) at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Sat, May 18 and 25 at 2 pm. Talkbacks with the cast on Thurs and Sat. $12-$28. Cheese tasting before the play on May 22 at 3 pm ($40) Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. Howard St. (455-7529) ONCE UPON A MATTRESS Musical performed by students at West Valley High School. May 16-17 at 7 pm. West Valley High School, 8301 E. Buckeye Ave. (448-2291) GOT IT MADE Musical comedy. May 16-19, Thurs-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $15. All-ages. Liberty Lake Community Theater, 22910 E. Appleway Ave. (342-2055)


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BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Musical. Through June 2. Fridays at 7 pm, Saturdays at 1 pm and 4 pm, Sundays at 1 pm. Spokane Children’s Theatre, 2727 N. Madelia St. (328-4886) GREASE 1950s rock ‘n’ roll musical. May 17-June 16. Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $11-$29. Spokane Civic Theater, 1020 N. Howard. (325-2507) SPOKANE PLAYWRIGHTS’ BOOKLIGHT SHOWCASE Second annual event featuring original works by local playwrights performed in a reading stage format. May 17-19. $15-$20. Ignite Community Theatre, 10814 E. Broadway Ave. ROSSUM’S UNIVERSAL ROBOTS Science fiction drama. May 17-19 and May 24-26. Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Free. Spokane Community College Lair Auditorium, 1810 N. Greene St. GREAT AMERICAN TALL TALES Musical performed by children of the Christian Youth Theater-North Idaho. May 17-26, Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sat at 3 pm and Sun at 4 pm (May 19) and 3 pm (May 25). $9$14. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd., CdA. (208-277-5727) HAIRBALL Students at the school will perform a vignette-style theater production. May 17 at 7 pm, May 18 at 1 pm. $3. Sacajawea Middle School, 401 E. 21st Ave. (995-2778)


ART AND SOUL Annual art festival benefiting the school’s art dept. features live demonstrations and art for sale by celebrated local artists. May 16 from 6-8:30 pm. $4-$12. Freeman High School, (291-3721 x. 206) MELISSA COLE The local artist’s brightly colored, textured acrylic paintings will be on display through July. May 17-July 12. Artist reception May 17 from 5-7 pm. Free. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St., Post Falls. (208-457-8950) LOCAL ARTIST SHOWCASE Art by Pennie Wood, Rebecca Tifft and Joy Gruenewald will be on display. Through June 3, artist reception May 18 from 2-4 pm. Free. Forza Coffee Co., 2829 E. 29th Ave. (535-7179) CURATOR’S CHOICE “Making Faces - Here’s Looking at You, Keith!” art exhibition featuring portraits from the museum’s permanent collection. May 16-July 19. Museum of Art/WSU, Pullman campus. (509-335-6282) RON AND MARSHA FELLER Sculpted paper masks. May 16-June 19. Free. South Perry Pizza, 1011 S. Perry St. (290-6047) SHOTGUN STUDIOS GROUP SHOW Local artist showcase. May 17-19. Artist reception May 17 from noon-10 pm. Gallery hours Sat 10 am-10 pm, Sun 10 am-6 pm. Free. Shotgun Studios, 1625 Water Ave. (270-2346) SHEILA EVANS OPEN STUDIO The local artist hosts an open studio event and art sale, featuring new and old works of pastel and oil art. May 18 from 10 am-6 pm. Free. Sheila M. Evans Studio, 2204 E. Mallon Ave. (714-2526)

The start of Spokane’s Summer! A benefit event for Coeur d’Alene Park, In Spokane’s Browne’s Addition

May 31- June 2 Friday, May 31 Noon-8pm Saturday, June 1 10am-8pm Sunday, June 2 10am-5pm MUSIC, BEER/WINE TENT Until 10pm Fri & Sat! Your Community’s Largest 3-Day Juried Arts Festival!


JILL MALONE The former Auntie’s staff member-turned-writer will present from and sign copies of her latest novel “Giraffe People.” May 16 at 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (838-0206) VIVIAN LEE SNODGRASS The Spokane-based author will sign copies of her new book, “Word Play: A New Approach of Understanding.” May 18 at 1 pm. Free. Monkeyboy Books, 123 S. Wall St. (838-0179) LOCAL AUTHOR SATURDAY Local authors Tonie Fitzgerald, Eric Aston and Bill Dienst will read and discuss their work, sign book copies and answer questions. May 18 from 11 am-4 pm. Free. BookPeople, 521 S. Main St., Moscow. (208-882-2669) SPOKANE POETRY SLAM FINALS See eight of Spokane’s best poets compete to land spots to move on to the National Poetry Slam in Boston. The finalists are Chris Cook, Mark Anderson, Jazlyn Jacobs, Tim Johnson, Lauren Gilmore, Kurt Olson, Travis Naught and Drew Coffin. May 19 at 8:30 pm. $8. Scout Tavern, 1001 W. First Ave. (747-3434) DAVID SEDARIS The best-selling satire writer will present from his latest collection of essays, “Let’s Discuss Diabetes With Owls.” May 22 at 7 pm. Ticketed event. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (838-0206) n

List of visting artists and their work at g northwestmuseum.or

Over 150 fine artist booths. Jewelry, pottery, photography, and woodworking, and more.

MAC is open Wed-Sun, 10-5

2316 W. 1st Ave | Spokane Visit for details MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 49

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50 50 INLANDER INLANDER MAY MAY 16, 16, 2013 2013

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THIS ANSW WEEK’S E PAGE RS ON 53 28. Victory 29. Solo on screen 30. Vague quantity 31. Completing a sentence, say 32. ENT’s instrument 33. On a leash 38. Jazz fan, most likely 42. “Here, I’ll do that” 43. One of filmdom’s Coen brothers 44. Central Florida city 46. First Amendment subj. 47. “Dies ____” (Latin hymn) 48. Reject 49. Include as an extra 52. USAF rank 55. ____-tac-toe

Matchfinders for Singles (509) 242-0159

Record Store Day is Every Day @ Spokane's Home For Aural Delights. 1902 N. Hamilton.

Storage Unit Garage SaleFriday/Sat. 9 - 2pm

Antique furniture, pix frames, wood range, tons of 16mm film equipment, Bolex, Arri, cameras, lenses, betacam broadcast cameras, decks, audio recording equip, PA speakers. 22021 E Wellesley Ave, Otis Orchards

Silver Tea Room - Open Daily for Luncheon, Full, & Afternoon Teas Wallace ID 208-556-1500

PHONE: (509) 444-SELL • EMAIL:

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Equal Housing Opportunity All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Law which makes it illegal to advertise any preference to, limitation or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination. This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for our real estate which is in violation of the law. Our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain on discrimination call HUD free at 1-800-669-9777. The toll free telephone number for the hearing impaired is 1-800-927-9275.


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MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 51

“Spokane’s Original Gourmet Cupcake Shop”

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1. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers, Jeers). 2. Provide basic info about you: name, address, phone. 3. Email it to by 3 pm Monday.

I Saw You




Bloomsday To the gorgeous blonde hair girl in the yellow section of bloomsday. It was really nice talking to you! Next year I will dance with you at every music station lol email me at

Our Wedding 40 days until our wedding and I couldn’t be happier with where we’re at. I’ve waited my whole life to find you and in a little over a month I get to spend the rest of it with you. I love you!

simplicity. You know me as I am within your sublime orbit but hold my distance to show patience. Most reminders remain unmet due to your hypnotic poise. Distractingly feminine & sure. Urbanely Yours.

SCC To the English tutor at SCC. I have the biggest crush on you! You’re super cute and smart and funny. I’d love to grab lunch with you sometime to get to know you but I’m too chicken to tell you that. Have a great rest of the week! -Your Secret Admirer.

Good Samaritan To whomever returned my wallet from the Sprague Ave. Wal-Mart parking lot on Sunday, May 5th around 7:00 pm, Thank you very much. My wallet was untouched with my money and debit

Look How They Shine For You A year ago, I saw a wondrous boy (you) strumming a guitar, singing softly words of love in a little place downtown. Afterward, he walked outside into the night, gazing up, his head whirled full of stars And Flying, I wondered what he was thinking. A year later, I see him just outside Mizuna (on Friday). He wears glinting sunshine hair and blue sky eyes peer out from his brightest face. He looks and moves like light. Next time I will ask him.

Put a non-identifying email address in your message, like “” — not “”

atmosphere you create with your music. Whenever I see you, you draw crowds who stop to listen and appreciate your performance. Jeers to Riverpark Square who refuses to turn down their canned music that they blast all day long, even when asked by shoppers who would like to hear the live music being performed. Or when the canned music is being blasted so loud it hurts the ears even when walking on the other side the street. Downtown businesses say they want to eliminate undesirables, who are apparently anyone under 30, regardless of whether they spend money in your establishment or not. Regardless of whether children are out with parents to shop, or visit Mobius, the library or the park. Regardless of the young people shopping at the Apple store or purchasing coffee drinks. Downtown businesses need to wake up and realize that with your tactics you are alienating shoppers that would support local business, but are disgusted with your noise pollution (blasting canned music, installing “mosquito” sound devices) as well as your lack of respect for anyone that doesn’t fit your mainstream mold. Be careful, you may just get exactly what you wish for and downtown will become a ghost town.

Costco imprint for 4/ 29 @ closing. How fast you turned around and shouted hi! You caught both me and your son by surprise! Quickly I said hi! Stunned by your handsome face and smile. Ushered to the other line, I went about mine. Looked up in time to see you standing and waiting. Then oft you left with your son and daughter? Leaving me with the imprint of your handsome face and smile! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thinking of John Burroughs, “Waiting” and mine. Me Adams Street I saw you on May 7, around 5:30pm. (Cameron) You were walking down Adams St with your long board. We got to talking about what we were out and about doing that day. You seemed like a very nice guy! We exchanged names but not phone numbers. You can contact me at Fred Meyers I was the one who asked for 30 dollars of gas at the end of your shift. You were the one who gave me 30 cents worth instead. You were gone before I could get your name, but you were beautiful, maybe next time. Personal Trainer Thank you to the Polar Personal Trainer Rep at the Bloomsday Expo. He did not have the stride holder for sale that I needed, so he he gave me the demo one for free! Thank you my Bloomsday run will be even better because of you!

We’re closing off the rear parking lot, filling it with Guest Vendors selling Antiques, Re-purposed & Hand Made Crafts & opening up the Barn to the public!

SATURDAY, MAY 25TH • 9AM-5PM 509-325-2607 • 2607 N. Monroe Street, Spokane

52 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013

Main Market I saw you on May 2nd. You were buying food, I was buying lunch and caramels. I wish I had gotten your name or number. Hopefully I’ll see you there again!


card in it and returned right away after I cluelessly left it in the cart. I quickly realized it was missing when I got home and went back within 15 minutes. Again, thank you very much. This shows there are still good people out there! God Bless! A Kind Samaritan A big thanks to the stranger that stopped, pulled over and was willing to help us when our dog ran out of the yard. I opened the gate to help a small dog that was lost and our Keeshond ran out. She came running home but you stayed until she was in our yard, thank you so much! Value Village Angel Friday May 3rd, you were the good looking male cashier assisting a customer who was wanting to purchase a pair of cowboy boots and a pair of running shoes. His total came to around thirty dollars, the customer tried to pay for the items but he only had ten dollars. You informed him that he needed more money to purchase both items. You then told him the price of both pair of shoes separately, and the customer still proceeded to purchase one of the pairs, still only having ten dollars. We all noticed that he was a special customer. His total came to somewhere around 15.00 dollars, instead of denying him the shoes or calling a manager to help you, you simply pulled out your own wallet, paid the difference, bagged up his new shoes and let him go with “have a good day”. It’s not every day do you see a cashier or let alone a human being who has the patience or heart that you showed us today! You deserve a CHEERS! - From the 2 very impressed ladies next in line! Street Musicians Cheers to the wonderful street musicians playing songs downtown about the Mona Lisa and over the rainbow, jamming on harmonicas, strumming guitars, blowing on sax and trumpet, fiddling wildly, and slapping djembes. We need more of you and the great

Try, I Must! To all the ships at sea, to all the ports of call; I must confess I have been extremely selfish and as the addict I am it was easy. As time passes and sobriety becomes the condition rather than the exception; memories of the past flood my twisted mind and regret is what soon follows. Making amends seems like a weak, usless, attempt at fixing what I “self” have destroyed! Try I must! Finally, I will put forth the effort to show change, not talk about change. Point: “Words don’t mean a thing unless we can prove their worth”; Last,and most important thought is: Here is hoping “To the man I hurt and his family, please stick around and find out if I have learned anything, please don’t give up on me yet! Not yet my fox love is an action word and I’m wanting to show you; you haven’t wasted your last 6 months. All my Heart and thank you to you and your family for going through what you have, for as long as ya’ll have. Love and respect from a repentent heart from the south. Good Food & Margaritas Cheers to Casa de Oro off the Argonne exit. Friends and I stopped in to grab a bite because their classmate studies all day to be a mechanical engineer and waitresses during the nights to help the family business. Cheers to hard work, darn good margaritas and food, and family businesses! Mobile & Magnificent You are perfect. Flawless. Breathless is too simple. Lovely a bit so complex. Your stride is purposeful, yet aimless in it’s

Happy Birthday to the most beautiful, and sexiest woman alive. Not a minute goes by that you aren’t consuming my every thought. “If it’s love”, then “the one”, will wait. Love You May Day Flowers What a lovely surprise to find a handmade bouquet on my front door! Thank you to everyone involved in the delivery of the May Day bouquets from the Cataldo Catholic Preschool to us lucky South Hill residents. You brought a smile to my face. Downtown Walk Signals As a driver, I love the fact that there are countdown timers for pedestrian signals downtown. It helps me to know if I need to slow down or speed up a bit for the upcoming red light. I bet it helps with traffic congestion and reduces the risk of accidents. I would also think that they may be more effective than the red light cameras around town because they give more of a notice of when the light is going to change, which seems more practical when driving. The person(s) responsible for bringing them to town deserve pay raises for common sense. I hope to see more installations of them in the future. You Don’t Even Know Me Happy 47th to my baby Pat. I’ve been so blessed to finally know what love truly is all about. ‘til the wheels fall off, oh by the way, I don’t even like you, but I love you bunches. M There are so many things I want, need and am finally ready and able to say to you. I don’t have to wait for sometime in the future. Unfortunately, I don’t have your you have mine? And yes, it’s ok to leave a message now. A Spokane Symphony 12 May. To the nice ladies who exchanged seats with my friend and I so I could extend my legs into the aisle: thank you SO much. Those far-too-close-together seats are miserable on arthritic joints. I really appreciated it.


Amber Z. is this week’s winner of the “Say it Sweet” promotion! Send in your CHEERS so you too can be entered to win 1 dozen “Cheers” cupcakes at Celebrations Sweet Boutique.

“I Saw You” is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.




Thank You! Thank You! to the trucker that stopped when the little red car was pulling out of Jack in the Box on Division on Mothers Day! I looked left and thought all the cars were stopped at the light. Maybe you were turning while I was looking the other way, I honestly don’t know. All I know is I let go of the brake a bit and was sticking out in the road when I saw you. Absolutely terrified, thought I was going to die, I tried to flip it in reverse as quick as I could - thank you so much for paying attention. I bet I scared you just as bad! I’m so sorry. I have been feeling ill, maybe I shouldn’t have been driving. I just wanted jalapenos! Thank you also to the man walking by who asked if I was ok while I was sitting there trying to calm down enough to drive away - it made me feel better to know someone cared. I feel so lucky to be home safe.

RE: Coexisting Cheers to the reader of Coexisting (Inlander 5/2/13). My Coexist bumper sticker landed me an anonymous note on my windshield two weeks ago. The author wrote that the Boston bombers had a “coexist” bumper sticker on their car. The reasoning given was folks who have bumper stickers think the opposite of what the bumper sticker says. Fact checking shows the owner of the stolen car, had the coexist sticker on his car. He managed to evade the hijackers, stay alive and notify the police. Thanks “coexisting” for writing. Your eloquence and tolerance are the qualities needed most these days. I’m committed to coexist with all three of you, including you, Anonymous, and all of the human race. Dr. King reminded us “We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.”

Really?! Animal Cruelty? I just read an e-mail about National Specially Abled Pets Day, (previously known as National Disabled Pets Day.) Am I to believe that someone really called up to complain about animals being called Disabled?! Did the family dog or cat call the hotline. C’mon you over-sensitive, wussy politically correct fanatics, give us a break already!

I Saw You At Fred Meyer on Freya. You are so pretty every time I see you! Your beautiful blonde hair was in that sideways pony tail and you wore a football shirt with a short denim skirt. Our time together always goes by so quickly. I miss your smile most since we went our separate ways. I even woke up this morning dreaming about you. Hopefully we will meet again soon. Missing you, T Pet Emergency Clinic Thank you SO MUCH for taking superb care of my beloved kitty last weekend. She had eaten a lilly and could have died if not for your wonderful care all weekend. You guys were beyond awesome for making both of us feel comfortable with a scary situation. Thanks again! And FYI, cat owners, ALL lillies are deadly toxic to cats! I have had cats all my life and I had no idea about this until it almost killed my sweet kitty.

Bloomsday Proselyte To the jackass proselytizing about abortion along the Bloomsday course: First, it’s a Sunday morning - if you think you are a messenger for Jesus, go to church. Second, spare the runners and walkers of this non-political event your soapbox gibberish. (And that goes for all who exploit the race for political expression.) Third, you are insensitve and ignorant displaying the graphic, poster- sized image of a dismembered fetus before thousands of children and parents enjoying the sunny day with their families. Ironic? Yes. Moronic? Yes. If your aim was to shock passersby into awareness, you have succeeded. Over 47,000 people are now aware of how much of an ass you are. Protest To the group that felt it was appropriate to protest abortion at a family event using very graphic photos, shame on you. For a group claiming to uphold family values, you showed no respect to the families with children on a very family friend race route. Where were your children on that day?




HB 1525 Jeers to Washington State Legislators who voted in support of HB 1525. Piercing jeers to Spokane area Legislators who blew off solid public demand for their support of restoring the right of ALL, not a few, adult citizen’s having unconditional and unrestricted access to their own original birth certificate. If the voters in Washington State can pass marriage equality, death with dignity and personal marijuana you all know good and well these same voters would in fact, vote in support of adult citizens age 18 and older having access to their original birth certificate. What you all did was prove to the citizens of this state, that state legislators are great at blowing smoke for votes and wasting taxpayer time and money. HB 1525 is a dirty joke and voters will eventually figure out it was your fault. Jeers from Bastard Nation Adoptee Rights Organization - Join. End the BS. Fairweather Friend Jeers to my shady, fairweather friend. You refer to me as your “best friend”-pathetic. After months of cruising your hook-up app on your phone in search of “the one,” you find the love of your life and go from 0-60 in your relationship. Fail. You need to get your life. I am ashamed of myself for ever giving you the time of day and allowing you to consume my thoughts. I hope that you’re happy-but just know this: your relationship will not last. And this time, I will not be there to help you through the break-up. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Parking Northtown Mall, May 5th, 11-2pm. You left the following note on my car: “Hey a**hole, thanks for bumping into my car. I returned the favore.” Even though there was no visible damage to my car, I wanted to let you know that I pulled into that spot right after someone else left. They must have dinged your car. I would never ding someone’s car. You might want to find a good anger management counselor; that kind of rage is not good for your karma. Oh, and ‘favor’ does not have an E. You’re welcome!

MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 53

Left: The author’s parents, Brad and Jenny Byrd, with her great grandfather and grandmother. Right: The author’s great grandfather and his wife.

The Time Traveler

My great-grandfather relives a lifetime of memories with Alzheimer’s By Jordy Byrd


y great-grandfather is forever lost on Monumental Mountain. The cowboy, Eagle Scout and war veteran left his family more than five years ago to pick huckleberries outside of Colville, Wash., and sing tales of herding cattle in Montana. But he has never returned. Somewhere along the way, the 91-year-old got lost in his memories. He’s forgotten the decades, the faces of his four children and the events in between. He’s lost in time.


e was born in 1921 on a cattle ranch in Scobey, Mont. He and his five brothers swam in the river with leeches and rode horses under the big blue sky across their father’s land. Despite having Alzheimer’s disease, he still remembers the name of his first horse. He married his high school sweetheart at 19, started a family and moved to Spokane. He played clarinet with a band in the United States Army while stationed in the Philippines during World War II, and danced the polka with his wife and daughters at a warehouse-turned-dance club in Spokane Valley. He joined the Spokane Fire Department in 1943 and fought fires throughout the Lilac City for 28 years. My grandmother — his second daughter — remembers her mother and the other firemen’s wives chasing the fire trucks to make sure their husbands made it out of the flames alive. After retirement, he bought a farm in Colville and

54 INLANDER MAY 16, 2013

returned to his ranching ways. My mother remembers him best clutching a bucket and picking huckleberries on Monumental Mountain. She says he periodically yelled “Huckleberry hound dog!” to scare away the bears. More than 5 million Americans are lost like my greatgrandfather, and there is no cure. One in three seniors die with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia. Diagnosis means an 8- to 20-year life expectancy and the continual deterioration of brain cells. Side effects include complete memory loss, irritability or aggression, delusions and the inability to control bodily movement. “Dementia takes away those things we cherish most as human beings — speech and memory,” says Pat Johnson, executive director of Clare Bridge of Spokane, an assisted living facility for seniors with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. “When you have a cognitive illness, you are very much aware, although you may not be able to communicate.” Clare Bridge houses 60 seniors. The posh facility features a Parisian cafe and floral-print living rooms. Roy Orbison occasionally blares through the speakers while seniors play Wii bowling. The facility aims to create a routine and a home-like environment. If a resident asks for their deceased spouse, caregivers say the person has gone out to coffee, gone shopping or fishing. Johnson says the goal is to “validate” their reality and the timespan or memories they are living in. “People with dementia travel back in time, their memories are often 30 to 40 years ago,” she says. “We are constantly doing a magical dance with them. … We are

constantly reinforcing who they were and what they’ve achieved in their lifetime because that’s what makes them human.” My great-grandfather lives at Clare Bridge. He sleeps in a twin bed with a figurine of fireman boots above his head. My family has stocked his room with junk food and movies like Finding Nemo. He adores chocolate, handholding and cheap whiskey. At first my family squabbled over the severity of his disease, and his ability to process names, the birth of grandchildren and the passage of time. Denial was easier than acceptance, but eventually the holes in his memory were too large to ignore. For years, he seemed stuck in the saddle. He pretended to gallop in his armchair and every 10 minutes he sang one of two songs about Montana or riding with the herd and stepping in cow pies. The disease has not conquered his spirit and enduring sense of humor, but my great-grandfather doesn’t sing anymore. Some days he is alert and able to carry on a casual conversation. Other days, his bright blue eyes stare off into space.


ver the years, my family has mastered the magical dance that is Alzheimer’s. We slyly introduce ourselves and tell him about our lives. We feed him Dilly Bars from Dairy Queen, intertwine our fingers with his and pretend that he will remember. I ask my grandmother if he knows he has the disease. “I don’t know if he does and I wouldn’t want to ask him,” she says. “I hope that he doesn’t.” In a sense, we too are stuck in time with him on Monumental Mountain. We are stuck in our memories, grieving the loss of a great man who still lives. Some of his daughters remember him best dancing and playing golf. Others remember him in a picture as an Eagle Scout or on the front page of the newspaper, carrying a woman down the fireman’s ladder. I picture him crashing through thickets of berries and scaring the bears. n


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MAY 16, 2013 INLANDER 55

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