Inlander 4/18/2013 by The Inlander

T H E S TAT E O F

SINGLE-STREAM A P R I L 1 8 -24 , 2 0 1 3 | R E C Y C L E T H I S PA P E R

A GREENER GUIDE TO

SHOPPING PAGE 23

HOW TO FIGHT

VAMPIRE

ENERGY PAGE 31

OLD POTATO SACKS ARE TOTALLY IN THIS SPRING

RECYCLING PA G E 2 2

COMPOST YOUR LIFE

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THREATS TO T H E

AQUIFER PAGE 26

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SUDS & CINEMA

Come drink local beer and watch the classic film Teen Wolf at the Bing — all part of The Inlander’s inaugural Suds & Cinema event PAGE 44

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comment StAFF DIRectoRY PHONE: 509-325-0634 Ted S. McGregor Jr. (tedm@inlander.com) PUBLISHER

J. Jeremy McGregor (x224) GENERAL MANAGER

eDItoRIAL Jacob H. Fries (x261) EDITOR

Mike Bookey (x279) CULTURE EDITOR

Chris Bovey (x248) ART DIRECTOR

WHAT DO YOU DO TO BE SUSTAINABLE?

I don’t know that I can say which company, but I’m helping a large corporation develop a sustainability website. They’re focused not just on the Earth but on the people too, which I think is awesome. What about personally, at home? I do all the recycling and turn off my heat during the day. I dry my clothes on a clothesline.

WEB EDITOR

Heidi Groover (x249) Jacob Jones (x237), Leah Sottile (x250), Daniel Walters (x263) STAFF WRITERS

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I recycle, I compost, I walk to work. We’re sticklers about our heater in the winter. Some people just blast it at one temperature all the time. That’s not how we live. Anything else you wish you could do? I wish I could compost and garden more, but I live in an apartment. I wish I could take a class about foraging.

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Jamie Albertini (x247), Jean Russell (x236), Emily Walden (x260)

KATIE FITZGERALD

Lots of things! We try to buy local. We compost. We’re moving and we won’t have any garden space, so we’ll be composting for a friend’s garden. We reuse different materials for art — things like driftwood and shells. And we recycle. ... We could all do more, but the smallest act is a step in the right direction and that’s all we can ask for.

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Kristina Elverum (x223) DIRECTOR OF MARKETING Raevyn West (x222) MARKETING COORDINATOR

Rebecca Rison (x216) ADVERTISING ASSISTANT Pamela Bauthues, Caitlin Finnerty SALES & MARKETING INTERNS

JOHN GUARISCO

I like the fact that [Spokane] did more recycling. Our trash has gone to less than one bucket a week now. ... Ever since Macklemore came out with the “Thrift Shop” song, we’ve been going to the thrift store more. The kids like it, which is cool.

oPeRAtIonS Dee Ann Cook (x211) BUSINESS MANAGER Gail Golden (x210) CREDIT MANAGER Angela Rendall (x213) OPERATIONS ASSISTANT

Trevor Rendall (x226) DISTRIBUTION MANAGER

PRoDUctIon Wayne Hunt (x232) PRODUCTION MANAGER

MACKIE HOCKETT

I just moved back from Maui, where I worked on an organic farm, and I’m trying to bring that back here because a lot of people here just need to wake up. I’m getting stuff to make raised [garden] beds and buying organic. I compost everything. … It’s a lot easier to grow your own food than people think.

Brett Anderson (x205) WEB DEVELOPER/PRODUCTION Alissia Blackwood (x238), Derrick King (x238), Jessie Spaccia (x205), Tom Stover (x265) GRAPHIC DESIGNERS

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APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 5

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10am - 6pm Friday & Saturday • 10am - 4pm Sunday Admission $6.00 • Seniors (65 & over) $5.00 Scouts in Uniform & Children 12 & under FREE

Concealed for a Reason A pistol flashed in a South Hill parking lot reveals the tension between gun owners and the people who live among them

AUTO INJURY • CIVIL LITIGATION

CA$H REWARD

COMMENT | GUNS

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had just closed the front door of my car when I looked up and caught a glimpse of the young man opening the passenger door on his pickup parked next to me. That’s when I saw the pistol in a holster on his hip. Two feet away. A chill ran through me; cognition had nothing to do with it, nothing at all. The vision of that gun was intimidating, which made the young man seem threatening. (Next stop, terrorizing.) Yes, the Washington State Constitution, written in a different time, permits “open carry” — but for crying out loud, we were parked in a small South Hill shopping center. Our gun-toter is at far greater risk to his safety being attacked by a cougar in Manito Park. Or being hit by a meteor. So why is he out in public dressed as a gunslinger? I can come up with only two explanations. Either he is (a) paranoid, (b) a “macho, macho man,” or (c) both of the above. In any case, still scary. Maybe it was the jolt of this pistol being so out of place. Had I seen a rifle on a rack in his rear window, I doubt I would have been bothered in the least. I would have thought, “Ahh, a hunter.” Hunters set their weapons on window racks, and as reasonable people understand, the currently proposed gun control measures have nothing to do with hunters. But a pistol? In a holster? In a shopping center? Oh, about the rifle in the rack? I hasten to add a caveat: When I say “rifle,” I mean a hunting rifle. Had I spotted an AR-15 in that window, that’s a very different message.

management problem. What then? I’ll extend these same concerns toward anyone who has a concealed carry permit and parades his or her gun in public. My position is that if you have a concealed weapon, keep it concealed until you intend to use it, as prescribed by your permit.

e’ve gone so far down this macho road — much further then did our Western forefathers. Many of those old, raw Western towns had far more burdensome gun control than is being proposed today. Adam Winkler writes in his book Gunfight: The Battle over the Right to Bear Arms in America: Guns were obviously widespread on the frontier. Out in the untamed wilderness, you needed a gun to be safe from bandits, natives, and wildlife. In the cities and towns of the West, however, the law often prohibited people from toting their guns around. A

Many of those old, raw Western towns had far more burdensome gun control than is being proposed today.

visitor arriving in Wichita, Kansas in 1873, the heart of the Wild West era, would have seen signs declaring, “Leave Your Revolvers At Police Headquarters, and Get a Check.” I really don’t care if people live, to quote the author James Kunstler, “in whatever paranoid style they choose” so long as they live it out in ould I have felt safer had I known the privacy of their home. But people must be that this person had passed a made to behave in public, otherwise we take the background check? Or that his civil out of the civic. They must not, even implicgun couldn’t fire more than 10 rounds before itly, intimidate others. They must not threaten reloading? Well, maybe not felt safer, although I others. They must not terrorize others. And if would have been safer. But as I say, at the time they are mentally unstable, they shouldn’t be I saw the gun, cognition wasn’t in the cards; I permitted to get anywhere near a gun or rifle. was just struggling with the jolting realization To these ends, we await to see if that I could be looking at a person who our bought-and-paid-for Congress can might really want to live in a Hobbesfinally muster just a small amount of ian world — an “all against all” world. Send comments to courage and do the right thing — to A pistol in a holster sends a message, editor@inlander.com. ignore threats from the gun lobby doesn’t it? Don’t tread on me — or else. and vote for the very reasonable gun Suppose I had backed my car into his regulation being proposed by the Senate majority. truck, and suppose that when I left my car to see And frankly, our state Constitution needs an to the damage, for some reason he viewed me upgrade, too.  as a threat. And let’s say that he had an anger

LETTERS

6 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

comment | publisher’s note

Divine Conservation by ted s. mcGregor jr.

t. Francis of Assisi was a hippie. The onetime soldier and rich party-boy found God in nature. Then he got rid of all his stuff — even his shoes — moved to the forest, and devoted his life to serving that ideal. Especially this week, you might think of him as the patron saint of Earth Day. “Be praised, my Lord, through all your creatures,” St. Francis wrote in his Canticle of the Sun, “especially through my lord Brother Sun, who brings the day; and you give light through him. … Be praised, my Lord, through our sister Mother Earth, who feeds us and rules us, and produces various fruits with colored flowers and herbs.” Do you think it’s just a coincidence that the Summer of Love broke out in the American city named for him? It’s encouraging that the new pope took the name Francis. Despite its many problems, the Catholic Church wields massive influence around the world, and throwing its weight behind a lighter human footprint could be a huge victory for the planet. And Jorge Mario Bergoglio — now the first Pope Francis — is no stranger to the ravages that overconsumption has visited upon the poor of Latin America. (It’s been the same story around the world, even here in the United States.) “We in the Church are calling for an ethics of austerity,” says Luis Scozzina, a Franciscan priest also from Argentina, “a change in lifestyle that leaves behind this frenzied consumption.” These are tough battles in places where multinational corporations hunt natural resources; standing against that vast machinery of capitalism takes real courage. Pope Francis did just that as a cardinal, co-authoring the proenvironment findings of the 5th General Conference of the Council of Latin American Bishops in 2007. And he signaled that he still holds those values just after being elected. “For me, [Francis of Assisi] is the man of poverty, the man of peace, the man who loves and protects creation,” he told reporters at the Vatican. “These days we do not have a very good relationship with creation, do we?” In the new book Francis of Assisi: The Life and Afterlife of a Medieval Saint, André Vauchez depicts him as a radical whose message was co-opted by the church in the 13th century — kind of. In the years since, his ideas — in that way righteous ideas do — have never quite been tamed by the Vatican. St. Francis’s ideas about protecting nature and service to the least among us are resonating again. He set an example few were brave enough to follow completely, but millions have been moved by. If Pope Francis follows his lead, it could help change the fate of God’s creation. n

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APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 7

COMMENT | DIGEST ON OUR FACEBOOK

What do you remember about bullying from when you were in school?

Melissa Murphy

MORGANNE J. ASHLEY: I remember being bullied for 5 years straight between middle school and high school. It was pretty rough. I’m glad that back then social media wasn’t used as a tool yet.

Consistently ranked as a Top Ten producing agent since 2008

JD STEWART: Just kids being a--holes for the fun of it. We never intentionally tried to hurt anyone. There was a lot of bullying in the ’90s, but we didn’t take it to the limit with bullying like kids do these days.

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JACK OHMAN CARTOON

LETTERS

RECONNECTING WITH A FRIEND

I just really wanted to say thank you for writing the story about Christopher Borth “Modern-Day Bullies,” 4/11/13). I was in the same grade as Chris. We were good friends in middle school, and I even remember trying to get him to go to high school orientation with me at Mt. Spokane. I also remember hardly ever seeing him at school, and I had no idea why. I eventually assumed he had moved to a different school district or something because I could never find him or get ahold of him. It really upset me to read about how he was treated in high school, but I was glad to finally know what happened. Thank you for shedding light on bullying and how terrible it is for kids to treat each other that way. I hope other teens from Mt. Spokane read this article and think about how they can change what is going on.

a firearm purchased on or after the effective date of this subsection not to be covered by a qualified liability insurance policy,” the bill text reads. The bill would also make it a federal crime to sell a firearm to anyone without insurance. “For too long, gun victims and society at large have borne the brunt of the costs of gun violence,” Maloney said as she introduced the legislation. “My bill would change that by shifting some of that cost back onto those who own the weapons.” EDWARD THOMAS JR. Spokane, Wash.

LOSING OUR WINGS

“Sequestration” is not the term that I consider to be the best to describe what President Obama is trying to do to our nation, but as we are seeing, he plans to do whatever he wants to do. His budget request for 2013 was to retire 300 airplanes while buying 54 new ones. At the founding of the U.S. Air Force in 1947, we had 12,300 planes and we have 5,200 today. The last time Lately, after a series of deaths from guns all across the the U.S. bought so few aircraft was in 1915 for the aviacountry, we hear from politicians — “let’s tighten gun tion section of the U.S. Army Signal Corps, control,” while the NRA sings the tune of the an Air Force predecessor. Second Amendment. Lost in the discussion Russian and Chinese aircraft flown is the damage that guns cause, accidently Send comments to or intentionally, the same as motor vehicles. editor@inlander.com. by Indian pilots in exercises have already bested our best fighter aircraft. If the Yet, in order to drive a motor vehicle, an current intentions of Russia or China are to individual must possess liability insurance escalate, we will be in a precarious situation. coverage. Over the past four years, the Obama administration The best idea advanced so far on guns is New terminated or delayed seven aircraft production lines, York Rep. Carolyn Maloney’s “Firearm Risk Protection including the new F-22 fighter jet, the C-17 transport Act,” which requires gun buyers to have “a qualified and a new bomber. The defense industry could lose liability insurance policy” before they are able to legally nearly 2 million direct and indirect jobs. Our Air Force purchase a firearm. can’t continue down this path! It also calls for the federal government to impose a fine as much as $10,000 if a gun owner doesn’t have GERALD RAY insurance on a firearm purchased after the bill goes Spokane, Wash. into effect. “It shall be unlawful for a person who owns BETHANY HAND Spokane, Wash.

ONE GOOD IDEA ON GUNS

LETTERS

LISA MCCRACKEN BEAR: That once I dug my heels in the ground and stood up for myself, made the decision not to be a target anymore — it was night and day! ROMNEY SIMPSON: I was bullied… until I hit a growth spurt that put me from 5’4” to 5’8” in the 7th grade. I gained the confidence I needed to fight back and the bullying stopped. I teach my daughter and son to not only stand up for yourself, but stand up for others too. Sometimes that’s all someone needs to believe in themselves — others believing in them. JOSEPH SMITH: Where I grew up it was bad. I was a bully’s bully. If I see you picking on someone who can’t take care of it themselves I’d step in. DEBI DOAN: People calling me names ’cause of my full lips and my large butt… MARC MORRIS: I remember too much and I remember it vividly almost every day. LARRY CEBULA: I remember being bullied sometime, but also saying some very cruel things myself. Remember that 30 Rock where Liz goes to her high school reunion and discovers that she had remembered everything wrong, and it was actually her that had been the bully? It might have been like that. GOFF DAILY: The cycle of bullying needs to be broken, but bullies get skilled at hiding the bullying from authorities and it isn’t until after something happens that people see what should have been obvious all along. 

APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 9

ok, so my subs really aren't gourmet and we're not french either. my subs just taste a little better, that's all! I wanted to call it jimmy john's tasty sandwiches, but my mom told me to stick with gourmet. She thinks whatever I do is gourmet, but i don't think either of us knows what it means. so let's stick with tasty!

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10 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

comment | satire

Maybe Hit Restart? by andy borowitz

orth Korea’s official news agency announced this week that the military’s planned missile test had been put on hold because of “problems with Windows 8.” Intelligence analysts said that the announcement gave rare insight into the inner workings of North Korea’s missile program, which until last year had been running on Windows 95. The announcement from the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) did not indicate a new scheduled time for a missile test, saying only that it was “working with Windows 8 support to resolve the issue.” In the words of one intelligence analyst, “That means the test has been delayed indefinitely.” A source close to the North Korean regime reported that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un is furious about the Windows 8 problems and is considering a number of options, including declaring war on Microsoft. Elsewhere, arguing that their

recent trip to Cuba had made them “America’s No. 1 nationalsecurity threat,” a group of Republican lawmakers called for tougher sanctions on the entertainers Beyoncé and Jay-Z. “We must send a strong message to Beyoncé and Jay-Z that the United States of America will not tolerate this kind of provocation,” said Rep. Mario Diaz-Balart (R-Florida), who blamed President Obama for “permitting the crisis to escalate dangerously.” But while economic sanctions may be politically popular, White House spokesman Jay Carney cautioned that they would probably have little to no effect: “Right now, Jay-Z and Beyoncé have more money than the U.S. government does.” n For more fake news from Andy Borowitz, visit borowitzreport.com.

comment | CELLPHONES

The Science of Chatter by jim hightower

ere’s a scientific conclusion that even a professional science denier would accept: Being stuck in line, on an airplane, in a waiting room, or anywhere else with someone loudly nattering inanities into their cellphone is somewhere between irritating and infuriating. You don’t really need a Ph.D. in human psychology to come to this conclusion, but it turns out that quite a few scientists have been conducting research on the obvious, probing the whys behind the annoyance of cellphone chattering. A new study by San Diego State University researchers concludes that two factors are at play here. One is simply the “trapped” response — you’re stuck in a place with this cackling conversation assaulting you, so your stress level quickly builds to a boil. The other is what scientists are calling the “halfalogue” factor. Unlike hearing two people carry on a conversation, we hear cellphoners yakking with someone who’s not there, so we’re getting only half of what’s being said. Psychologists say that this hijacks an innocent bystander’s

brain, which can’t help but search for some logic in what it’s receiving. Thus, our grey cells involuntarily struggle to put the halfalogue into a dialogue, distracting us from our own thoughts or disrupting a simple moment of solitude. Another study found that the brain perceives the one-sided conversation to be abnormally loud, even when it’s not. This drives us not only to distraction, but also to a simmering fury, chauffeuring us to the precipice of antisocial behavior. As one who’s been brought to that edge several times, it seems to me that the people prattling on so rudely are the antisocial ones. I appreciate the recent scientific attention to this uncouth narcissism, but wouldn’t it be better to address it at the kindergarten level? n For more from America’s populist, check out jimhightower.com.

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A handcuffed man is escorted in the halls of the Spokane County Superior Court.

court

Security Versus Dignity New Spokane jail policy has inmates restrained in “belly chains” for non-trial court appearances BY JACOB JONES

hains rattle lightly, clinking and jangling, as an inmate walks. A waist shackle, also called a “belly chain,” loops around his or her hips, locking into handcuffs in front of the body. Going back to English common law, criminal courts have considered shackling defendants during trial proceedings an absolute last resort. In multiple cases, the U.S. Supreme Court has held that visible restraints could make a jury perceive a defendant as dangerous, or inhibit the ability to communicate with an attorney. “Not only is it possible that the sight of shackles

... might have a significant effect on the jury’s feelings about the defendant,” the Supreme Court states in a 1970 opinion, “but the use of this technique is itself something of an affront to the very dignity and decorum of judicial proceedings that the judge is seeking to uphold.” But what about when a jury is not in the room? When a defendant in jail custody makes a pre-trial court appearance — when the public is not watching — should the exception become the rule? Spokane County Jail officials earlier this month expanded the local policy on waist shackles to make use

Young Kwak photo

of the restraints on all jail inmates appearing in Superior Court. Judges can call for the shackles to be removed, but inmates generally will be expected to remain in the shackles throughout any pre-trial court hearings. Jail officials with the Spokane County Sheriff’s Office say the belly chains improve courtroom safety and security. Local defense attorneys and other critics argue the blanket policy stigmatizes and demeans defendants, tarnishing their presumption of innocence.

apt. John McGrath, commander of the county’s Detention Services, says a significant increase in the number of inmates who must be taken to court has helped drive the new policy. He says the decision did not stem from any assault or escape attempt, but from a review of safety protocols as the jail handles more court appearances. McGrath acknowledges he has heard opposition to the new policy, but he stresses inmates would not wear the shackles during any trial with a jury. “It’s just basic security,” he says. “Without a jury in the courtroom, I don’t know how it would be prejudicial.” Case law typically allows for inmates to be shackled during pre-trial hearings, presuming judges are not as ...continued on next page

APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 13

NEWS | COURT CuSter’S 38

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susceptible to any prejudice based on the appearance of the extra restraints. But many courts still consider it a case-by-case measure instead of a default practice. The Jail Transport Unit proposed the change a few weeks ago, introducing the policy to restrain all inmates during a meeting with Superior Court judges. County officials say the judges voted on the issue, declining to oppose the policy. McGrath says the use of waist shackles just extends ongoing efforts to ensure the safety of inmates, jail staff, court officials and the public. The jail has always sought to take every reasonable precaution to prevent assault or escape. “Our responsibility is to make sure they are safe,” he says. “I think being proactive is part of our duty.” Spokane County Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich says he supports the policy, explaining waist shackles have routinely been used for transporting inmates to court appearances. He says he regularly used the restraints when moving prisoners during his time with the jail in the late 1990s. “That’s really nothing new,” he says. Knezovich also notes some inmates may find the waist shackles more comfortable because they keep the hands at the side, instead of locked behind the back like traditional handcuffs.

Doug Honig, with the ACLU of Washington, allows that shackles might make sense while inmates move between the jail and the court, but once in the courtroom inmates still deserve to be treated as innocent until proven guilty. Restraining a defendant while they’re addressing the court should still be a last resort, Honig says, determined on a case-by-case basis. The new policy implies every defendant is dangerous. “There shouldn’t be a blanket policy,” he says. The ACLU released a letter on April 10 opposing the shackling of juvenile prisoners, Honig says, arguing such restraint chains leave a significant psychological impact on young defendants. “Being required to appear shackled in public before peers, authority figures, and others in their community surely increases the offenders’ feelings of hopelessness,” the letter states, noting shackles can also exacerbate post-traumatic stress

“It’s a travesty.”

ssistant Public Defender Stephen Heintz, a 27-year veteran of the county office, contends the jail’s new shackle policy institutionalizes unfair and prejudicial treatment of poor defendants who cannot afford bail. “I think it’s a travesty,” he says. Heintz argues defendants who can post bail get to appear for pre-trial hearings in normal clothes without restraints. He says those who cannot afford bail, who may face the same charges, should not have to go before the court in chains. “It’s not fair,” he says. “It’s not right either. … The presumption of innocence has to stand for something.” John Rodgers, director of the Public Defender’s office, says many attorneys on his staff strongly oppose the policy, calling it heavy-handed and unnecessarily broad. He says it paints all in-custody defendants with the same brush. “We’re not keen on the new policy,” he says.

resulting from violent upbringings. Beyond the appearance of the restraints, Heintz says he has seen clients struggle to read or sign paperwork while locked in shackles, sometimes complicating his ability to communicate with his clients during a hearing. “It’s undoubtedly embarrassing for the client,” the attorney says. “I’m embarrassed for him. I’m embarrassed for the court.”

odgers says his office continues to put together an official response to the policy. With help from other legal representatives in the city, he hopes to convince judges to impose a case-by-case rule for the use of shackles. “We’re trying to collect ourselves,” he says. Meanwhile, Knezovich says he has no problem with the practice. He says the jail will continue to use two-deputy escort teams to take prisoners to and from the courthouse. The belly chains only improve the security of that process. “I’ve never heard any criticisms,” he says of the shackles. “To me, it’s really much ado about nothing.”  jacobj@inlander.com

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NEWS | OLYMPIA

Ganging Up Why some lawmakers want to limit access to public records By Justin Runquist

n prisons throughout Washington, inmates are exploiting the state’s Public Records Act to probe for information about gang members and run their criminal organizations from behind bars, top correction officials say. The Department of Corrections receives an average of six public disclosure requests each month seeking information about incarcerated gang members, says Dan Pacholke, the agency’s assistant secretary of prisons. Most of those inquiries come from locked-up gangsters or their affiliates outside the prisons. “We know that they’re disclosing information around who’s who, where do they exist and that sort of information,” Pacholke says. “What you don’t want to do is share all this information with either inmates or people closely related to inmates, so that information gets back within the prison system and, of course, turns into an act of violence.” A decade ago, 18 percent of Washington’s inmates were in gangs, Pacholke says. But today, gang members make up 22 percent of the prison population, and they are responsible for about 44 percent of the violence against other inmates and prison guards. Agency officials hope to curb violence by limiting the availability of prison gang records. Last week, state lawmakers passed a bill that will cut off public access to records identifying gangs and their cohorts in prisons throughout Washington. The measure — Senate Bill 5810, sponsored by Sen. Jeannie Darneille, D-Tacoma — came to the Legislature this session as a request from correction officials. It leaves only prosecutors and law enforcement agencies with access to the records. The bill received full support from the House in its final vote, and now awaits a signature from Gov. Jay Inslee. A similar measure — House Bill 1715, sponsored by Rep. Brad Klippert, R-Kennewick — is close to going up for a final vote in the Senate. The bill would further restrict public access to an entire DOC database of prison gang information. Despite the bills’ potential to enhance safety, some media law experts are concerned about the impact the legislation could have on watchdog journalism. Seattle attorney Judith Endejan, who represents Fisher Communications and co-authored the Washington Bar Association’s Public Records Act Deskbook, says HB 1715 could hamper the media’s ability to keep an eye on the DOC by blocking access to the entire database on prison gangs. “I think that when you’re talking about precluding access to this information from the media, who might want to examine this to see how the DOC’s handling gangs within prisons, well then, I find this pretty objectionable,” Endejan says. “The DOC’s actions should be under scrutiny. And who’s going to watch them? This bill says the DOC watches itself.” HB 5810, which only blocks access to records that identify individuals and gangs, is a better compromise, she says. “It balances the needs of the DOC for security, but it also allows some information to be ‘disclosable,’” Endejan says. Toby Nixon, president of the Washington Coalition for Open Government, says the open records community generally supports the measures. The bills have kept a low profile this session because open government advocates have pored over them and decided they are reasonable measures, Nixon says. n This article was provided by Murrow News Service, which is produced by journalism students at the Edward R. Murrow College of Communication at Washington State University.

APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 15

news | digest

need to know

PHOTO EYE down for the count

The Big News of the Past Week

Two bombs detonated near the finish line of the Boston Marathon on Monday, leaving the nation reeling as investigators hunted for suspects. Officials reported three dead and more than 100 people injured in the blasts.

The family of deceased miner Larry Marek has filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the Hecla Mining Co., alleging the Idaho company’s reckless safety practices led to the April 2011 cave-in at the Lucky Friday Mine that killed Marek.

Five people, a family of four and a visiting friend, died of smoke inhalation Saturday in a house fire in Orofino, Idaho. Investigators suspect an overloaded extension cord sparked the deadly blaze.

A Spokane man has pleaded not guilty to second-degree murder charges in the recent death of 18-month-old toddler Rylee Castner. Investigators say the man’s story does not match medical evidence in the case.

Jennifer DeBarros photo

Luis Ramos pins Nathan Chang during their 9-year-old division match, as part of the Jason Crawford Memorial Tournament on Saturday. The one-day tournament brought together 1,349 young wrestlers from Washington and Idaho to compete at the Spokane Convention Center. Hosted by the Mat Maulers Wrestling Club in Medical Lake, the tournament is named after a club member who died after being hit by a car at age 12.

Pullman police have located three suspects in a brutal attack on March 30 that hospitalized Washington State University instructor David Warner. Investigators arrested the men last week, later releasing them pending assault charges.

On inlander.com What’s Creating Buzz

digits

Number of years a newly proposed state law would prohibit threetime drunken driving offenders from buying alcohol.

16 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

8.4

Two-year Washington state transportation budget passed by the House this week to fund highway and infrastructure spending, including $79 million for Spokane area projects.

billion

DEVELOPMENT: Last week we told you about controversy brewing over a new Target store on the South Hill. Find the developer’s full plans and renderings on Inlander.com. BULLYING: Alongside last week’s cover story about bullying, we ran blog posts online, from the perspective of a bully to problems with Spokane Public Schools’ bullying-reporting form.

NEWS | BRIEFS

threat that suggests people in Spokane be concerned.” With Bloomsday and other large events in the coming weeks, Straub says local authorities plan to closely monitor the Boston investigation. Straub also asks citizens to report anything suspicious, citing previous examples of civilians thwarting bomb plots at the 2011 Martin Luther King Jr. Day parade in downtown Spokane as well as the 2010 bombing attempt in Times Square. — JACOB JONES

‘Accident Potential’ Efforts to relocate residents near Fairchild hit a snag; plus, Spokane police get new gadgets Moving Expenses

Ten blocks of mobile homes and cheap apartments sit just east of Fairchild Air Force Base, in an area named an “Accident Potential Zone.” If airplanes from Fairchild crash, in other words, they could go down in the area where hundreds of people live. But moving them isn’t easy — these are very lowincome residents. In response, three local nonprofits — Habitat for Humanity, Catholic Charities and Community Frameworks — have partnered to purchase property in the accident zone, and then build 100 new apartment units and 60 new houses to lure tenants away. “There will be no forced relocation,” says Tobby Hatley, a spokesman for the project. “The whole goal is to reduce the density.” In surveys of residents, he says, most say they’d move if they had a better place to go. But first, the groups need funding. The entire project would cost about $31 million, and the coalition hoped it could be partially funded by the Housing Trust Fund, a state funding stream used to build and maintain affordable housing. But when the House produced its list of recommendations for Trust Fund projects, legislators listed 31 projects and 27 alternates. The Fairchild relocation

Paying For Cops

projects were not included. Without help from the Fund, relocation could be delayed, Hatley worries. “They prioritized certain target populations,” says Janet Masella, director of the Housing Trust Fund. “They identified farm workers, persons with chronic mental illness, homeless veterans, and people with developmental disabilities.” Rep. Hans Dunshee, D-Snohomish, helped to create the priority list. “The game’s not over yet,” Dunshee says. The House and the Senate still have to make their budgets line up. “If there’s a significant effort from the local legislators, it might still happen. It’s a possibility.” — DANIEL WALTERS

Extra Security

Spokane Police Chief Frank Straub promises increased police patrols and heightened security at upcoming public events in the wake of this week’s deadly bomb attack on the Boston Marathon. “People in Spokane will notice today, and for days going forward, that there will be increased [police] presence around shopping malls and other areas where the public tends to gather,” Straub says, adding, “There is no

The Spokane Police Department will be getting $1 million for new equipment and training, but they’ll have to keep waiting for more officers. A measure introduced by Spokane City Council President Ben Stuckart Monday would have taken the 1 percent property tax increase the mayor and council passed on when they created the 2013 budget and used it to pay for 10 new police officers through the rest of the year. That measure failed. But on the next measure — spending $1.1 million on USE OF FORCE COMMISSION RECOMMENDATIONS like standardizing all officer’s batons and installing dashboard cameras — even those council members who opposed spending for new cops were supportive. They saw those as mostly one-time costs they could fund from the city’s reserves. Councilman Jon Snyder voted for the measure, but chided other members for their earlier vote: “It’s a sad day when we can fund gadgets and not people.” The council also set hearings for its next meeting (April 22 at 6 pm) to discuss Envision Spokane’s latest attempt at a Community Bill of Rights and an effort from a group called Spokane Moves to Amend the Constitution to prohibit corporate lobbying of city employees. Both groups have filed signatures to get the initiatives on the — HEIDI GROOVER November ballot.

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Next Stop BY HEIDI GROOVER oday, the No. 24 bus winding its way down North Monroe Street, from Five Mile to downtown, is packed with people who did something Karl Otterstrom wishes they didn’t have to do. They planned for this bus trip. With new development along Monroe, Otterstrom, Spokane Transit Authority’s director of planning, wants people to be able to take spontaneous bus trips here and throughout the city. “This is the highway system for pedestrians,” he says. “This is the way you get out and enjoy the region without having to take a car.” But while routes like Monroe have strong ridership, many aren’t frequent enough to allow spur-of-the-moment trips or encourage everyday drivers to leave cars at home. So STA is looking into the future to see how best to expand some of its major routes. The agency has developed a list of potential projects and is looking for community input into what should come first. The projects are centered around increasing accessibility in busy areas of town and getting people into the city from outlying areas like the Valley or the West Plains. STA’s latest shortlist includes four major routes: North Monroe to Regal Street on the South Hill, Cheney to downtown, along Division Street from the North Side to downtown and between Liberty Lake and downtown. The agency is also considering improving access between Browne’s Addition and the University District and new park-and-ride lots in outlying areas. For each of the corridors, STA offers up three or four options

Among STA’s options for improving bus service on major routes are more comfortable buses and light rail. of what could improve that route. From completed sidewalks to better buses to light rail, the projects range from $1 million to $400 million, but STA hasn’t yet secured funding for any of them. That will come down to federal and state dollars, and whether Spokane voters would support an increased sales tax for transportation. Recent cuts to some routes have increased frequency on the most popular ones, Otterstrom says, in his view boosting ridership and helping justify requests for new money. “We’re confident they are good places to invest, but exactly what we’re investing in and when and how, we’ve not reached that point,” he says. “We’re interested in knowing which corridor people are most interested in. … Give us input on how do we slim down the list.” Tim Szymanowski is one of the people tasked with delivering that input. Szymanowski, director of Find more details and dates development for Eastern Washington of upcoming public meetings University, is a member of one of at stamovingforward.com; the advisory panels STA set up to email thoughts to staplan@ help get public opinions about the spokanetransit.com corridors. Szymanowski says he rides the bus sometimes, but can’t when a route isn’t frequent enough to accommodate his many trips out of the office — a problem he doesn’t want others to have. “We want to keep people from saying, ‘If I take the bus, it’s going to take an hour and half. I might as well drive,’ “ he says. For Szymanowski that comes down to making sure STA hears about crowded buses and people who may never even go to Spokane proper. He says the Cheney corridor serves big crowds commuting to and from Eastern and plenty of people who just want to get around the West Plains, so improving both the number of routes and the areas they reach are crucial. Just how STA does that, he admits, will mean some things get more attention than others. “It’s hard to make everyone happy,” Szymanowski says. “Our objective is to take a very utilitarian approach and do the greatest good for the greatest amount of people.” n heidig@inlander.com

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APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 19

NEWS | RELIGION

p Coming U hony mp at the Sy

Crisis of Faith

For Christians in the wedding industry who oppose gay marriage, a moral dilemma has become a legal one

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obert Ingersoll and Curt Freed of Kennewick just wanted the best possible florist for their upcoming wedding. But their go-to pick, Barronelle Stutzman of Arlene’s Flowers, told them her “relationship with Jesus Christ” wouldn’t let her participate in a gay wedding. That decision had consequences. As the story of her refusal spread in early March, Arlene’s Flowers found itself flooded with Facebook comments and phone calls, both critical and supportive. The Tri-City Herald’s story was quickly joined by pieces in the Huffington Post, Advocate.com and other national outlets. One of Stutzman’s employees took her own moral stand and resigned.

Attorney General Bob Ferguson sent a letter to Stutzman, warning her to reconsider. In 2006, Washington state had added sexual orientation to its anti-discrimination law. But Stutzman

“If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married.”

enjoy up to

didn’t budge, and last Tuesday Ferguson filed a lawsuit, accusing Arlene’s Flowers of discrimination. Ingersoll and Freed threatened a lawsuit of their own. “If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married,” gay-marriage supporters declared during the Referendum 74 debate last year. But for

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wedding vendors — photographers, caterers, Others see more than a risky busiflorists, bakers, event venue owners — opness decision — they see bigotry. In a blog posed to gay marriage, it’s not that simple. titled “Yes, Liberals, We Should Sue That If they turn down gay marriages, or even Anti-Gay Florist,” The Stranger’s Dominic commitment ceremonies, they don’t just lose Holden compares the florist’s refusal to how business or invite public controversy. They Christians once “tried to use the Bible to bar risk lawsuits. In New Mexico, for example, women from voting booths and mixed-race a photo studio that refused to shoot a comcouples from wedding chapels.” mitment ceremony between a lesbian couple While ministers in Washington state are was fined nearly $7,000. allowed to refuse to wed same-sex couples — Still, a few vendors in Spokane said that or any couple — other wedding vendors in despite the law, they would make the same their congregation don’t have that luxury. choice Stutzman made. Russ Davis, pastor at New Commu“I absolutely won’t particinity, doesn’t say whether he would pate in one, but I’m doing my perform a wedding ceremony for best to stay under the radar, if a same-sex couple. But he says he Send comments to possible. I don’t want to invite would encourage any vendor “to editor@inlander.com. treat the [gay] couple like they’d any lawsuits,” one local photographer writes in a Facebook mestreat any other couple.” sage. For that reason, he doesn’t In other areas of the country, want his name used. religious wedding vendors face the opposite Not every gay-marriage opponent moral dilemma. Photographer Mike Wootrefuses to participate in gay weddings. As ton just moved to Spokane from Nashville, Spokane resident Marnie Schroer prepares Tenn. “If I was to accept a gay-marriage for her upcoming wedding to another job offer down there, that could ruin my woman, she says one vendor told her he was company,” Wootton says. But as a religious opposed to gay marriage but was still willing man, he hopes he would have the moral to work with her professionally. fortitude to photograph a commitment “If you are a professional in a service ceremony if asked. industry… you end up working with a lot of “I absolutely believe that relationships clients whose political opinions you disagree are relationships,” Wootton says. “It’s up to with,” she says. If you have to approve of God to make judgments.”  every client, she says, you can end up “apdanielw@inlander.com proving yourself out a job.”

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50 SHADES OF GREEN M a s s i ve p ro j e c t s a n d n ew i d e a s f o r m a k i n g u s g re e n e r te n a n t s o f t h e I n l a n d N o r t h we s t

Sorter Everett Jackson sorts plastic recyclables at Waste Management’s SMaRT Center YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Who is responsible for the environment? Some of the proj-

ects most important to our region are so big we don’t even know what they look like, and some of our personal habits seem so small we don’t bother to change them. Here we take a look behind the scenes at three massive projects — single-stream recycling, protecting the aquifer and cleaning up the Silver Valley — along with other ideas for taking personal responsibility. Yes, we all need some stuff to live, but getting a little greener about it is easier than you think. — LISA WAANANEN, section editor

22 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

Big Bin How the long-anticipated advent of single-stream recycling is impacting Spokane County — and the Earth BY DANIEL WALTERS

or more than two decades, blue 18-gallon bins — full of newspapers and crushed milk jugs — peppered the sidewalks of Spokane. But all that changed last September, when Spokane neighbors were granted new 64-gallon and 96-gallon bins. And into those huge new carts, Spokanites can now dump mixed paper, aluminum foil, aluminum pots and pans, plastic dairy cups and mugs. They can chuck in Cap’n Crunch boxes, plastic water bottles, old Tom Clancy spin-off paperbacks, spiral-bound notebooks full of college biology notes, and the metal tines from broken garden rakes. The advent of “single-stream recycling” meant instead of being sorted curbside, all recyclables were sorted, bundled up and sold at a fancy new plant.

The long-anticipated change, in effect less than a year, already is having a financial and environmental impact.

t the new Spokane Material and Recycling Technology (SMaRT) Center, one of the old blue recycling bins slides down the conveyor belt, where a worker spots it and pulls it away. The thunking and whirring of the conveyor belts mesh with the blaring of an alarm, the beepbeep of forklifts backing up and the humming of tractor engines. Here, the factory floor is piled with 4-foot-wide cubes of crushed aluminum cans and newspaper bales, beside a forest of green ...continued on page 24

LIGHT BULBS INCANDESCENT LIGHT BULBS ARE LIKE THE COMFORT FOOD OF INDOOR LIGHTING. BUT THEY WASTE ENERGY AND GET THROWN AWAY — AND THEY’RE NOT AS CHEAP AS YOU THINK.

BEGINNER: Many people have adopted energy-efficient compact fluorescents as the new standard. They now represent about a third of all household light bulb sales in the nation. But don’t believe the rumors about leaving them on to save energy — it’s still better to turn off the lights when you leave a room.

ADVANCED: The future is here: LED lights that fit in a standard socket are now available and affordable. It’s a higher cost up front, but each one lasts a long time and uses less electricity. And, unlike fluorescents, there’s no mercury or heat involved. At Eco Depot, a Viribright light bulb costs as little as $15. (LISA WAANANEN)

BEGINNER: Start by not buying clumping litter. Yes, it’s easier to scoop and controls odor better, but because non-clumping litters don’t swell up when moisture is present like clumping kinds do, the waste takes up less space in a landfill and has less chemicals.

ADVANCED: Clay-based litters can take decades to biodegrade and are sourced through destructive strip-mining methods. The silica dust in clay litter can also cause respiratory problems. Instead, use a biodegradable litter with ingredients like corn, wheat, wood shavings or newspaper. (CHEY SCOTT)

BEGINNER: Organic cotton isn’t grown with pesticides. Yes, it’s typically more pricey, but it’s becoming easier to find. Some bigger companies like American Apparel, H&M, Nike and Pottery Barn offer organic cotton items at the same (or very similar) prices.

ADVANCED: If you want your shirts as sustainable as possible, look to companies like Anvil, which launched its first certified carbonneutral T-shirt a few years ago. And cotton isn’t just for fabrics — look for organic options for everything from toiletries to mattresses. (LW)

BEGINNER: Any option without phosphates is better for river and water systems. But resist the urge to rinse your dishes or hand-wash them — a dishwasher is one appliance that makes the lazy way the greenest.

CAT LITTER KITTY’S GOT TO DO HIS BUSINESS SOMEWHERE, BUT FINDING A GOOD ODORELIMINATING AND EARTHFRIENDLY LITTER CAN BE AN ONGOING TRIAL-AND-ERROR PROCESS.

COTTON COTTON SEEMS LIKE THE MOST BASIC OF NATURAL CLOTHING OPTIONS, BUT COTTON CROPS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR A HUGELY DISPROPORTIONATE AMOUNT OF PESTICIDE USE.

DISHWASHER SOAP IT’S TIME TO GET OVER PHOSPHATES. MAJOR COMPANIES REMOVED THEM FOLLOWING BANS IN WASHINGTON AND OTHER STATES, BUT SOME CONSUMERS STILL FIND LOOPHOLES WITH COMMERCIAL SOAP OR ONLINE SALES.

ADVANCED: Go for a nontoxic option like Grab Green, sold in bulk at Sun People Dry Goods. Or, for cheap DIYers, find a recipe online and make your own from inexpensive ingredients like baking soda, vinegar and essential oil. (LW)

CUP OF COFFEE IT JUST WOULDN’T BE A WEEKDAY MORNING WITHOUT A STOP AT YOUR FAVORITE COFFEE SHOP OR DRIVE-THRU STAND.

BEGINNER: That cup doesn’t need to make so much trash. Don’t take the accessories — heat wrapper, lid, straw — unless you really, really need them.

ADVANCED: Get a reusable travel mug. Your coffee habit will be greener and cheaper — lots of coffee shops will give you a discount. Starbucks started selling a reusable cup for $1 this year to make the choice even easier on your wallet. (LW)

APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 23

COVER STORY | RECYCLING “BIG BIN,” CONTINUED... and yellow machinery towers, platforms and scaffolding. All the stuff here doesn’t just represent Spokane County’s recycling. Waste Management purchases more from commercial businesses all throughout the Inland Northwest and Canada. “Careful what you call garbage here,” account manager Steven Gimpel says. “This is all money right here for us.” Newsprint is sold to the Inland Empire Paper Company

in Spokane. Wine bottles are turned back into new wine bottles in Spokane. Some plastics are shipped all the way to China. One experimental plant in Oregon is working to transform plastic into crude oil. “One of the most exciting things for the industry is innovation,” Waste Management communications director Robin Freedman says. “Who’d have thought we’d be able to take a plastic briefcase or a Big Wheel

and turn it back into crude oil?” Shifts in global markets can be a boon or a bane. Newsprint remains lucrative, for example, but the demand for glass bottles has fallen. Making single-stream recycling possible, even profitable, relies on a mix of sophisticated technology and old-fashioned human labor. One machine shakes up clumps of recyclables to make them easier to sort through, while another separates two-

dimensional objects, like cardboard, from three-dimensional. One belt is magnetized, holding metal cans while dumping the rest. Another automatically detects clear items like plastic water bottles, calculates their position, and with a burst of air tosses them onto another belt. But even the most sophisticated equipment can’t match human eyes and hands. A line of workers in green hardhats peer into a swift river of recycling,

snagging items that don’t belong. “This is our presort area. Their whole job is taking off everything that can damage the equipment further on,” Gimpel says. Rusted metal can cut the belts, and plastic bags, pieces of clothing and rope can become tangled in the machines. “A lot of times we get people getting seasick up here,” Gimpel says. Standing still, staring at a moving mass of trash, will do that. After a while, the employees switch, so at least they’re looking in a new direction.

Ready to treat chest pain and stroke at a moment’s notice. In Spokane, only Deaconess Hospital is both an Accredited Chest Pain Center and a Certified Primary Stroke Center.* That means we provide emergency cardiac care that meets the stringent requirements of the Society of Cardiovascular Patient Care. And our stroke care has been nationally recognized by The Joint Commission. We collaborate with EMS before patients even reach the hospital. To learn more about our stroke and chest pain services, visit DeaconessSpokane.com.

*As of March 2013.

In an emergency, call 911.

24 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013 68748_DMC_Stroke_7_4x8_2c.indd 1

3/26/13 2:07 PM

s single-stream recycling inherently better for the Earth? Spokane’s recycling coordinator Suzanne Tresko says the environmental calculus is complicated. “It’s such a multiringed equation,” Tresko says. “I don’t think anybody knows that answer.” Shipping bales of recycled materials all the way to China carries an environmental cost. Yet more items are being recycled and fewer are filling up landfills. Waste Management has begun to add hybrid trucks. Saving the energy of mining and creating new materials has a big benefit. In 2009, one assessment found, recycling in Oregon made up for the emissions of 570,000 passenger cars. And for employees who rode trucks, it meant they no longer had to hop out to hand-sort through newspapers on winter mornings. The robot arms on the trucks could pick up the bins. “We anticipate this will reduce the amount of injuries we have,” says Scott Windsor, director of City of Spokane Solid Waste Management. “Those getting out of the trucks in the slippery conditions would get sprained ankles, twisted knees.” In Spokane, garbage collection can be a sensitive subject. A decision to eliminate some garbage pickup in alleyways may have cost former Mayor Dennis Hession the election back in 2007. So when the new bins came out, some were skeptical. “Another giant ugly container to either put in my garage and take up a huge amount of space — or park it outside to get snowed on,” Mike Davis said in a letter to the SpokesmanReview. An older woman called The Inlander, complaining about how the big bins were harder to

DON’T RECYCLE Shredded paper, caps, lids, clothes, shoes, Styrofoam, batteries, syringes, ceramic dishes and food waste.

Rick McHenry removes items that don’t belong from a bale of paper at Waste Management’s SMaRT Center. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO move. But city spokeswoman Marlene Feist says that overall, customers have been downright thrilled. “Now they’re like ‘We love this thing,’ ” Feist says. “We

get letters and we get notes. Suddenly recycling is more fun or something.” For 3,400 Spokane residents, it meant they could do without the larger garbage cans. Switch-

ing to a smaller size, they save $12 a month. The city receives less income, but the decrease in disposal costs makes up for it. “It’s actually the best form of a utility. If you’re willing to take

time to separate the material, there are real savings, and those real savings will end up in your pocket,” says Windsor. “It improved the quality of service you get at no additional cost.” 

DO RECYCLE Paper, cardboard, pizza boxes, phone books, paper bags, tinfoil, clean bottles, dull scrap metal, mail and empty aerosol cans.

VISIT WMNORTHWEST. COM/SPOKANE/GUIDELINES/RECYCLING.HTM FOR THE FULL LIST.

Dinner & Barn Dance Saturday, May 18th, 2013 6pm appetizers 7pm dinner Dancing to follow

@ the Spokane County Fair & Expo Center

Take ‘yer turn on the mechanical bull! Be sure to follow us on Facebook for more event information!

Questions? Contact Dee Knight-DuBey at deek@rmhspokane.org Ami Kunz-Pfeiffer at amik@rmhspokane.org APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 25

cover story | water

materials, and local advocates say they’re confident in that oversight. Now they’re working to expand awareness and regulation to small businesses and individuals. These educational materials are reaching more people who may not think about their impact on the aquifer, Hanson says. The Spokane Aquifer Joint Board, made up of water providers from Millwood to North Spokane, tracks regional potential contaminators and works on public outreach to educate people and businesses about the best ways to store and dispose of potentially hazardous waste. Their EnviroStars program recognizes businesses that voluntarily comply with a set of practices to help safeguard hazardous waste, and encourages people to support those businesses. “We have some of the best drinking water. We’re very lucky,” says Hanson, program manager of the board. But she’s determined to stay vigilant.

antifreeze to pet medications — but not in quantities large enough to get them scheduled checks from the EPA or state Department of Ecology. When she finds them, she offers a voluntary checkup on how they’re doing in their efforts to keep their toxic materials from leaching into the ground to the aquifer or running into storm drains, where they could end up in the Spokane River or groundwater. It’s easy to dismiss river pollution from concerns about what’s reaching your tap, officials say, but the river and aquifer intersect and share water at various points along the river’s winding route. While small in comparison to the whole aquifer, those interchanges make both bodies of water vulnerable to the other’s contaminants. Phillips’ work is focused on areas of town identified as having the highest contamination levels, especially along Trent and East Sprague. She hones in on businesses like mechanics, dry cleaners, veterinarians and printers, looking to ensure they’re keeping dangerous substances from ending up in the river or aquifer. “Most businesses want to do the right thing,” she says. “Sometimes there are things they’re not aware of.” Automotive-related shops are high-risk because materials like oil and antifreeze can spill or seep into parking lot storm drains. Other businesses have their own variety of potentially dangerous goods: certain soaps, medications and ink. One of the most common culprits: car washing. Phillips and Hanson warn people against washing cars in the street where drains don’t have the oil-water separators most automotive shops do. Without proper steps, the oil, grime and soap residue can end up in the river or the aquifer.

Safeguarding the Aquifer We’ve all heard about our only source of tap water. So who’s protecting it? BY HEIDI GROOVER

n a big yellow house on the South Hill, the table in Tonilee Hanson’s office is full of neatly stacked pamphlets, maps and kids’ comic books. Hanson is unassuming, soft-spoken and well-organized, but she sees herself as a warrior in the battle to protect the aquifer under her feet, and these are her weapons. The Spokane Valley-Rathdrum Prairie Aquifer provides drinking water for more than 500,000 people in North Idaho and Eastern Washington. And while it’s a clean, fresh, abundant source, officials and advocates like Hanson work to protect it from the most harmful polluters, everyday cleaning supplies and everything in between. From dumping chemicals or oil into storm drains to using the wrong kind of fertilizer on a backyard lawn, potential for contamination is widespread. Designated as a “sole source aquifer” by the Environmental Protection Agency — meaning it’s the only or primary drinking water source for the area — the aquifer has gotten increased protections from companies with high chances of contaminating the aquifer. State and national agencies regulate big companies that use a lot of potentially hazardous

t the Spokane Regional Health District, Sandy Phillips spends her days working toward the same goal. She’s out looking for small businesses that handle potentially dangerous materials — from oil and

cross the state line in Kootenai County, Dick Martindale manages the environmental health department of Panhandle Health District, an agency that’s worked to protect the aquifer since the 1970s.

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AQUIFER

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The region’s source of drinking water extends 370 square miles underneath our cities.

Twin Lakes

KOOTENAI COUNTY

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Much of his work is similar to Phillips’, but he’s got a bit more weight. While Idaho may traditionally be the less regulated frontier of the two states, its regulations surrounding aquifer protection are more stringent than Washington’s. Where programs like EnviroStars and Phillips’ checklist are voluntary, all businesses in Idaho are required to be inspected by Martindale’s team every other year. The health district has a rule limiting on-site sewage disposal to one house per five acres, limiting the chances sewer systems could leak waste into groundwater. And in 2006, county voters approved a special fee on those who own property above the aquifer. It’s minimal — only $12 to $24 a year — but it’s pay-

Saturday, April 27th, 2013 Bing Crosby Theater • 7:00 pm (doors open at 6:00pm)

Local celebrities are paired with professional dance instructors as they dance to raise funds for our after school theater arts training program.

Chaplain, Spokane Police Department

Lake Coeur d’Alene

Liberty Lake

Dancing with the

C elebrities SPOKANE

Spirit Lake

SPOKANE COUNTY

6th Annual

Source: USGS

ing for education, enforcement and water quality testing. Martindale calls that vote a “huge shining light” on how much people value their water source. “Well over 20 years ago there was the need for serious education. Today, people really understand what the aquifer is and why it’s so critical to our economy and health,” he says. “[But] the No. 1 thing is you’ve got to have boots on the ground. You’ve got to have the authority in the rare instance you get pushback.”  heidig@inlander.com

JUDY LEE Special Events Coordinator, Catholic Charities, (2012 Fan Favorite)

MELISSA LUCK Executive Producer, KXLY

KATIE STEINER Reporter, KHQ

DAVE RICHARDSON Executive Director, Spokane Humane Society

AMBER WALDREF Spokane City Councilmember

To purchase tickets or vote for your favorite dance pair:

(509) 487-6540 or visit www.cytspokane.com

Spring Compost Fair and

Arbor Day Celebration Saturday, April 27, 2013 11:00 am - 2:00 pm

John A. Finch Arboretum Spokane County residents who complete the activities may take home a free compost bin. (Limit one per household) Bins provided by the Spokane Regional Solid Waste System and the Washington Dept. of Ecology. Please arrive by 1:30 pm and bring proof of residency.

SPONSORED BY

avaged for 100 years by intense mining, the rugged hills and waterways of the Silver Valley bear deep scars, both stark and unseen. Standing at the edge of a barren flood plain northeast of Wallace, Idaho, Bill Adams motions out across the brown and scoured earth. “It’s basically a moonscape,” he says. As regional team leader with the Environmental Protection Agency, Adams understands the immense scale of the damage. Children grow up with dangerous levels of toxic lead in their blood. Animals sicken and die. Vegetation withers in poisoned ground. “We don’t have the luxury to just turn our eyes away,” he says. With the area declared a Superfund site in 1983, environmental agencies have spent 30 years trying to undo a century of habitat destruction and heavy metal contamination throughout the historic mining corridor in the Coeur d’Alene River Basin. To isolate the harmful lead, arsenic, cadmium and zinc in the ground, crews have dug up entire towns and replaced the top foot of soil with clean dirt — public parks, roads and about 6,000 separate properties in all. Officials have also worked to cap contamination sources, restore waterways and haul off millions of tons of toxic mine waste. “The Box,” a 21-square-mile zone surrounding the Bunker Hill Mine in Kellogg, marks the

epicenter of the effort. From there, the EPA has long worked to treat contaminated water as well as repair and contain abandoned mining sites. Officials say they have made tremendous progress, but the work remains just halfway finished. A new EPA cleanup plan, released in February, shows a long road ahead.

t the heart of The Box, EPA Project Manager Ed Moreen crosses a catwalk over a 216-foot-diameter clarifier tank within the agency’s local water treatment plant. The EPA’s largest project in the next 10 years will involve upgrading the Kellogg plant to collect and process nearby groundwater as well as other contaminated drainage pumped in from problem mine sites upstream. The agency has found mining contamination along more than 166 river miles of the Coeur d’Alene Basin, an area stretching along Interstate 90 from near the Montana state line down through Lake Coeur d’Alene and into the Spokane River. “You have this system that’s chock full of [mine waste] — in the bed, in the banks, in the flood plain,” Moreen says. “You still have all these unrestrained mine and mill sites up here that are continuing to dump metals into the system.” Below the catwalk, brownish mine drainage churns and swirls, looking more like mud than

Whitworth University presents an education symposium featuring

Kathleen McCartney, Ph.D. Dean, Graduate School of Education Harvard University

“Investing in Education Reforms that Work” Ed Moreen, project manager with the Environmental Protection Agency, surveys the agency’s water treatment plant in Kellogg, Idaho. JACOB JONES PHOTO water. Laden with heavy metals and registering a low pH, the sludge gets treated with a limestone-based product to help contaminants settle out of the water. In the next tank over, the treated water ripples a clean, translucent blue. Adams says almost all of the rivers and creeks in the area carry some level of contamination. The clear water of Canyon Creek outside Wallace washes approximately 500 pounds of dissolved zinc downstream each day. “Looks can be deceiving,” Adams says. “There’s not a lot of aquatic life and if you take samples, it’s way above the water quality standards.” The 37-year-old treatment plant now only collects and processes drainage from the Bunker Hill Mine, which still amounts to about 2 million gallons a day of contaminated water. The new 10-year plan outlines an ambitious expansion, nearly tripling the plant’s capacity, to pull in contaminated water from the source and treat it before it continues through the natural water system. Adams says the expanded treatment system, which should complete its design phase next year, could “almost immediately” reduce water-based contamination in the area by as much as 40 percent. “It is going after the big beasts,” Moreen says.

he EPA reports more than $500 million has gone into cleanup efforts in the Coeur d’Alene Basin in the past two decades. Approximately $40 million is budgeted for this year to continue removing contaminated soil from residential properties and complete the treatment plant expansion design work. Adams says contractors have hired hundreds of local workers to take on these projects over the years, replacing some of the jobs lost from the mining industry. Officials hope returning the valley to healthy conditions will open up new business opportunities to attract outdoor lovers and rebuild the local economy. “The fact that it’s a clean, safe environment will ultimately be the salvation [of] this area,” he says. While a drive through the valley shows new trees have returned to some desolate hillsides, officials emphasize the work is far from finished. They estimate another 30 years of cleanup to completely rid the basin of its underground contamination. “It’s much more subtle,” Adams says, “but I think the changes that you’ll see in the next 30 years are just as significant as what’s already occurred in the last 25 years or so. It’s just less visible.”  jacobj@inlander.com

A panel discussion will follow McCartney’s address and will feature Nina Auerbach, President & CEO, Thrive by Five Washington; Shelley Redinger, Ph.D., Superintendent, Spokane Public Schools; and Jay Reich, Washington Student Achievement Council.

Wed., April 24, 2013

Spokane Convention Center Hors d’oeuvres: 4 p.m. | Program: 4:30-6 p.m. Register for this free-of-charge event at www.whitworth.edu/leadershipforum or call 509.777.3449.

Signature sponsor:

Support sponsors:

THE SPOKANE AURORA NW ROTARY CLUB INVITES ALL CYCLISTS STARTING AT

SPOKANE FALLS COMMUNITY COLLEGE

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• First century ride of the season • 15, 25, 50, 66, 100 miles • All levels of riders are welcome • Course is monitored • Rest stops along the course • End of ride baked potato feed with all the fixin’s for all riders to enjoy

There is also a tri-athlete secured bike corral for those who want to do a 5K run after the 100-mile ride.

Proceeds support Local and International Rotary Projects. Google Lilac Century Ride for more information.

APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 33

34 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

Crunch Time

Interplayers Theatre says it urgently needs a financial push or will have to close its doors By E.J. Iannelli

hen Interplayers announced its 2013-14 season last week, it came with a caveat. The shows — and indeed the 32-year-old theater itself — would only go on if $150,000 were raised by the end of May. The fact that Interplayers was soliciting donations is hardly news. Nonprofit arts organizations generally rely on funding outside of their production revenue. And this particular theater has been widely known to have been teetering on the precipice for years, largely due to a de-

Interplayers’ Artistic Director Reed McColm says the theater needs $150,000 by May 31 to remain in operation. young kwak photo cade of hard times between its heyday in the 1980s and ’90s, when it was run by founders Bob and Joan Welch, and the recent (post-2009) past when a skeleton crew attempted to get to grips with the gravity of the problem. The real shock of Interplayers’ request lay in its scale and the speed with which it was hoped to be met. A call for donations is one thing. A call for a $150,000 in donations is quite another. And a call for that amount in less than two months’ time is quite another still. “We’ve been very reluctant to say to the public, ‘We

need your help again.’ It was always easier to survive until the next show,” says Reed McColm, Interplayers’ artistic director. “What’s happened to us is that the donations from corporate and business sponsors have just dropped because of the economy. Since we’re living hand to mouth, we have no cushion. If we had a cushion, the productions would not be responsible for covering the overhead. We just need that push,” says McColm. ...continued on next page

APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 35

CULTURE | THEATER

“CRUNCH TIME,” CONTINUED...

April 25 A special evening with

Tom Kundig, award winning Seattle architect Noted for his Modernist designs. At the MAC. 6:30PM Free admission. Part of the Visiting Artists Lecture Series (VALS)

Interplayers’ Reed McColm runs Spokane’s only professional theater. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

He consults an itemized list of proposed allocations: $40,000 of the total will be used to pay back salaries, $75,000 will cover the theater’s overhead during the quiet summer months. About $20,000 will be allocated to cover the legal fees associated with the visa troubles McColm, a Canadian citizen, experienced last year. The figures aren’t arbitrary. There’s an intended place for every penny of that $150,000. Put in a wider context, however, there’s another issue that makes Interplayers’ appeal seem brazen: It isn’t the only regional theater to have endured the economic recession or a period of bad management. When Yvonne A.K. Johnson became artistic director of the Spokane Civic Theater in 2005, it already had an annual

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36 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

Integrus Architecture Joel E. Ferris Foundation Lydig Construction, Inc. Curators and design :

operating budget of $450,000. Today it’s on track to surpass $1.25 million. Across the state line in Coeur d’Alene, George Green began resuscitating Lake City Playhouse in 2010 as its artistic director. He recruited donors, paid off tens of thousands of dollars in debt and back royalties, and brought a dilapidated building up to code. In just three years, he has boosted the operating budget from $60,000 to $250,000 and staged shows like Rent! and Spring Awakening that have been gritty, high-quality and, crucially, big box-office draws. Juxtaposed with those venues, Interplayers looks like the black sheep. Green expresses a strong desire to see Interplayers succeed, but remains skeptical in light of the theater’s chronic financial troubles.

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“If Interplayers is going to come to the community again and ask to be bailed out, it’s only fair that the community ask for proof and assurances to find out what mistakes have been made and how they will be corrected so that our investment as a community will be [a] success,” says Green. “If that proof can’t be shown, I have a question mark.” At the same time, Green is quick to point out that community theaters like Civic and Lake City are different beasts from professional ones like Interplayers. Community theater casts perform for free, and their royalties are significantly lower. In the public’s mind, “community” also carries connotations of charity, whereas “professional” suggests a self-supporting institution. But there are other differences too — in the choice of productions, for example, and their overall quality — that mark the divide between community and professional theater, and Green and others would argue that Interplayers, much to its detriment, has allowed that divide to become less distinct. Patrick Treadway, a veteran regional actor who regularly appears on the Interplayers stage, is of a similar opinion. “That identity, that definition of what a professional theater is, is not clear to Interplayers,” he says, specifying that by “Interplayers,” he’s primarily referring to the board of trustees and not McColm. “Right now, we’re dog-paddling. We’re not serving anything, we’re just trying to survive. If Interplayers continues, I hope that it doesn’t follow the same path of doing the same shows that community theaters can do,” says Treadway. On that very issue, McColm routinely finds himself between a rock and a hard place. For years he’s worked to persuade the board of the theater’s need to stage “risky,” yet-unknown contemporary productions like Speech and Debate or boom! instead of warhorses like On Golden Pond. Yet with occasional exceptions, the more ambitious productions have barely been filling one-third of the seats. With the bottom dropping out of the bottom line, it becomes harder to justify their place in the program. The lower-than-expected returns of those shows also restrict McColm’s wherewithal to bring in expert directors who, he says, “might come in and say, ‘I love this space and I know what I want to do with it’ ” as well as national talent. So instead he leans on non-exclusive local actors who might have starred on the Civic stage the week prior, further blurring the professional/ community distinction.

Amid all this, Interplayers’ meager staff hasn’t balked at making personal sacrifices. McColm has received just a few hundred dollars in salary since last November. Pamela Brown, the theater’s executive director, has gone entirely without pay since then, yet at the same time she’s assumed the roles of fundraiser, marketer and ambassador. Without enough funds to even pay themselves, they can’t hire additional staff such as grant writers. Without that staff, they have to shoulder more responsibility themselves, but their ability to fulfill those responsibilities suffers, which in turn jeopardizes the potential income from publicity and fundraising. Nor is grant money available to organizations who are unable to demonstrate solid bookkeeping and some degree of solvency.

901 W E S T S P R A G U E A V E , S P O K A N E | 5 09. 227 . 7 638 SAT. APRIL 20 | 8PM AN EVENING WITH

Mary Chapin Carpenter & Shawn Colvin

“I think Spokane would miss us if we weren’t here. I just don’t want them to have to find out that way,” says Interplayers’ Reed McColm.

Sunday, April 21 | 3pm A one woman show on the life of Joy Davidson Lewis, treasured wife of C.S. Lewis

Working within those constraints, McColm and Brown have nevertheless been resourceful. They launched Family Night to lure parents of young children with the promise of an in-house babysitter. They negotiated a more favorable lease agreement with Jerry Dicker, head of GVD Commercial Properties, who declined to comment on the ins and outs of his dealings with Interplayers. They’ve also vastly overhauled the lobby area to make it more inviting, yet without significant outlay. “Labor and materials were donated by volunteers,” says McColm. “We just designed the area and recruited the proper people.” Clearly, though, it hasn’t been enough. Which perhaps raises a more fundamental question: Are Interplayers’ troubles an indication that Spokane is simply unwilling or unable to sustain a professional theater? “Professional theater is a very viable need in Spokane,” McColm says, “and I think Spokane would miss us if we weren’t here. I just don’t want them to have to find out that way.” n

APRIL 19 5:30 • 8:00 • MIDNIGHT • $5

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APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 37

CULTURE | BASEBALL

Dual Threat On the mound and at the plate, Gonzaga’s Marco Gonzales is turning heads BY HOWIE STALWICK

NOW OPEN!

any observers maintain that hitting a baseball is the single most difficult feat in high-level athletics. This explains why hitters who fail “only” seven out of 10 at-bats are considered stars. Top-flight pitchers are valued even more than most .300 hitters. And when your best pitcher is a projected first-round draft pick who hits well above .300 ... well, the Gonzaga Bulldogs, now ranked 24th in the country by Baseball America, consider themselves quite fortunate to have Marco Gonzales. Never heard of the guy? Such is the fate of the vast majority of college baseball players, who are overshadowed at most schools by football and/or basketball players. Area sports fans would be wise to take a peek at Gonzales while they can. The junior left-hander plans to turn pro as a pitcher this summer — ESPN ranks him the 22nd-best prospect in the June amateur draft — and he’s putting up crazy-good numbers for the third straight year at Gonzaga. “He’s got the heart of a lion,” says teammate, roommate and close friend Payden Cawley Lamb. “He really battles for everybody, and then he can come and get four hits when he pitches.” Gonzales, a first-team All-American last season and a preseason first-team All-American this season, is a prime candidate to win the CollegeBaseballInsider.com Utility Player of the Year award for the second straight year. “I compete and I battle as a hitter,” Gonzales says, “and I have my streaks and my moments, but I’m definitely more consistent on the mound.” The Fort Collins, Colo., native entered the week with a 4-2 record, 2.71 earned-run average, 60 strikeouts and 57 hits allowed in 63 innings. At the plate, he leads the Bulldogs with a .350 batting average and is second with a .408 on-base percentage. “About 99 percent of it is luck,” Gonzales says with a smile. Gonzales, who raves about his time at Gonzaga, throws a superb change-up and a fastball that has been clocked as high as 92 mph. The son of a longtime minor league pitcher (“I was raised in clubhouses and on the bus”), Gonzales posted a 3-0 record and hit .250 last summer for USA Baseball’s collegiate national team. Interestingly, Gonzaga was the only school that wanted Gonzales to hit in college. He says only three other schools (including perennial national powerhouse Arizona State) offered him a scholar-

Marco Gonzales is well on his way to an All-American season. TORREY VAIL PHOTO ship, and only the Bulldogs offered him a full ride. “It was a bit humbling,” Gonzales admits. Gonzales’ size and velocity were so-so in high school, but he won the state title game all four years and was Colorado’s high school baseball player of the year as a senior. He went 11-0 on the mound and hit .486 that season, and the Colorado Rockies selected him in the 29th round of the 2010 draft. “He came in with quite a lot of accolades,” Gonzaga coach Mark Machtolf says, “and he was humble right from the start. He’s continued to rack up awards and attention. The most impressive thing is how he’s handled it. He’s a great teammate.”  Gonzaga baseball homestand • Washington (April 23-24) and Brigham Young (April 25-27) • All games at 6 pm except for 1 pm on Sat, April 27 • $5, $4/ages 3-12 and 65 and older • Free for children 2 and under

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here are few artists whose names reverberate in the Northwest like that of Dale Chihuly. The eyepatched manipulator of all things glass now has his own museum in the shadow of the Space Needle, and often is credited with fathering our region’s boom in glass art over the past two decades. During this time, his Boathouse studio on Lake Union, where he continues to create his pieces with the help of a team of other artists, has essentially become ground zero for the glass art movement. Chihuly’s influence is seen in Spokane, too. Since

1995, his “Gonzaga Red Chandelier” has hung in the university’s Chancellor’s Room. Several of his other pieces, all endlessly colorful and ranging in size, scope and subject, are in Gonzaga’s permanent collection at the Jundt Art Museum, part of an exhibit that runs through July 31. To celebrate the show, Chihuly is set to speak at the Bing Crosby Theater on Thursday, April 25. That lecture is open to the public, but it looks like all the free tickets have been spoken for. So if you’re a Chihuly fan, you’ll have to start hustling. — MIKE BOOKEY

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BLOG | Local artsy type Karli Ingersoll is a lot of things: a musician, a designer of everything from logos to websites, one half of the duo behind what could soon be Spokane’s newest music venue, The Bartlett. Now, she’s collecting good stuff from all those realms at COLLECTPNW. COM. There, she curates everything from posters, photography and art to well-designed signage around town and new local music. She also highlights the occasional don’t-miss event for creatives — or those who just have good taste.

BOOK | Even for the most ardent poetry resistor, the playful, upbeat work of 14th century Persian poet Hafiz can be the exception. While the work is influenced by Islam, it’s more focused on universal principles like thankfulness than on the specifics of any faith. Translated by Daniel Ladinsky, the collection A YEAR WITH HAFIZ: DAILY CONTEMPLATIONS offers a poem for each day. “If you ever become too complacent, too accepting of your sorrow or shadow self,” reads one entry, “the moon might fling a beehive into your undies and that should wake you up.”

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Spring Tonic

Yes, you can actually eat those.

Weeds are starting to grow, and guess what? You can eat them By Ari LeVaux

or most of human history, winter has been a time of nutrient depletion, if not starvation. After months of living on staples like sugar and flour, with hardly any fresh vegetables, it was common for those who made it out the other side of winter to forage and devour whatever non-poisonous, or even semipoisonous, green leaves and shoots that could be found

40 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

beneath the melting snow. The preparations made from these plants were often referred to as a “spring tonic.” Spring tonics came in many forms, including salad, soup and teas. In addition to providing nourishment, spring tonics were used to flush out a winter’s worth of buildup from the body’s gastrointestinal pipes. Often, spring tonic was served with “sulfur and molasses” to

enhance this spring cleaning. There were also poor-man’s versions of sulfur and molasses, like a handful of metal nails soaked in a jar of water. A contributor to a FishingTx.com discussion thread, who goes by the handle Ole Bill, gives an example of how sulfur and molasses can be used along with the semi-poisonous poke plant, widely dispersed in the U.S.,

as a spring tonic. After breakfast on the first day of spring granny would dose everyone with sulfur and molasses then serve up poke and fixins for the rest of the day ya didn’t dally in the outhouse or someone would get excited. The poke shoots and leaves are typically boiled, first in salt water and again in clean water, to make them safe to eat. But this isn’t safe enough, according to Dr. Jean Weese in a June 2012 Alabama Cooperative Extension System newsletter. “The boiling process removes some of the toxins but certainly not all of them,” Weese says. “I suggest that people avoid this plant no matter how many times your mother or grandmother may have prepared it in the past and no matter how good it tasted. Why would you want to eat something that we know is toxic when there are so many other non-toxic plants out there we can eat?” Grannies across the land, meanwhile, would probably counter that if it doesn’t kill you it will make you stronger. Today, even though we have access to bottled vitamin supplements and year-round vegetables, I believe there is still a place for spring tonic. It’s a way of calibrating your body and gut flora to where you are. And the act of getting outside the house and squishing through the mud, catching rays, breathing fresh air, getting scratched by twigs and buzzed by flies, is a tonic of its own after months of enclosure. A good plant identification book is an invaluable tool for the spring tonic forager. In addition to telling you what to eat and what to avoid, it will also key you into legends, stories and traditional uses of the various species. If you’re new to a place, learning

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Even though we have access to bottled vitamin supplements and year-round vegetables, I believe there is still a place for spring tonic. the plants and ingesting their earth concentrate is a meaningful step toward fully inhabiting that place. There’s also a semi-wilderness to be found in your own garden. Early in spring, long before you’ve turned the soil or decided what to plant, the weeds often already are out in force. Many are edible, and can make just as potent a spring tonic as wild plants. I have a decent collection of wild plant identification books on my shelf, but only recently have I begun picking up some weed identification books, which focus specifically on weeds common to my area. One of my favorite ways of consuming weeds — not just in early spring but all season long — is a purée I call weed pesto. I usually make it from the usual suspects like lamb’s quarter, dandelions, mustard greens, chickweed and purslane, but most any edible weed or foraged plant is a candidate. Garden weeds can also be combined with foraged greens like nettles, watercress and wild onions in a wild and weedy spring tonic pesto. Most weeds and wild plants are processed similarly: simply de-stem, wash and dry. Nettles are a special case, with their own handling and processing rules. They should be harvested when young, and even then just the top 6 to 12 inches, which are the most tender. They should be harvested carefully, with gloved hands and scissors. And they should be steamed before cooking so the spines wilt. This extra hassle is worth it for several reasons. Nettles are super-healthy, can grow in great abundance, and have a mild, spinach-like flavor. Nettle pesto, even without any other weeds or wild plants, is a treat in itself. Purée your cleaned and processed weeds and wild plants and in a food processor or blender with olive oil, garlic, salt, cheese and the toasted nut of your choice. In other words, make pesto. One difference I’ve noticed with wild/weed pesto is it’s best made a few days in advance, which allows the flavors to mix, mingle and mellow. But even straight out of the food processor, wild weed pesto is still a much tastier and nutrient-rich option than that jar of soaked nails. n

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Lunch on Wheels Couple of Chefs shows Spokane how to do street food BY DAVID TELLER

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on’t ask the dark blue, ambulance-looking food truck parked in the downtown Spokane area for snack food or a burger sealed in cellophane. They don’t have it and never will. It’s not a “gut truck,” a “roach coach,” or a “silver back” — nicknames for the sort of concession stands you’d find loaded into the back of a pickup. This truck is actually a mobile restaurant and catering business called Couple of Chefs where everything is made to order from scratch. Co-owners Allen Skelton and Joilé (pronounced “joyly”) Forral had the utility truck custom-built as a way of sidestepping exorbitant start-up and overhead costs as they got their eatery off the ground. The truck was fully inspected to meet all state and local health code standards. Both Skelton and Forral, graduates of Le Cordon Bleu culinary institute in Portland, describe their lunch menu as upscale comfort food. Skelton, a Wenatchee native, stressed that they wanted to stay away from deli meats. The Rudeben ($7) — a Reuben’s drunk uncle — is way beyond the common Reuben sandwich. Skelton brines the corned beef himself, then adds more cumin. The sauerkraut is braised in

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Guinness, and the sandwich has KGB sauce, an amped-up Russian dressing named after the Soviet secret service. The 82nd Burger ($7), named after the 82nd Airborne Division in Fort Bragg, N.C., was done in eight minutes, which Forral, a San Diego transplant, said is the normal wait time. The KGB sauce had a little bang, but was not overpowering. The patty was hand-pounded, and other ingredients (tomato and lettuce) were at peak freshness. On the “going to try it next time” list is the NC-17 ($5). It’s not a content warning, it’s an “adult” sandwich dressed up with items not typical of a plain old grilled cheese. This one has smoked gouda, bacon, avocado and tomato salsa and is grilled on sourdough. They also feature a daily special and cater any genre of food for any occasion.  Couple of Chefs lunch schedule • Mon, Post St. and Riverside Ave.; Tue, Spokane Courthouse; Wed, Howard St. and 1st Ave.; Thu, Sacred Heart Hospital; Fri, Howard St. and Main St. • coupleofchefscatering.com • 2909408

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ITALIAN GENO’S 1414 N. Hamilton St. | 368-9087 This bar, restaurant and music venue in the Logan neighborhood near Gonzaga features extraordinary detail in its design. The bar, located in a smaller, cozier room, is made of refurbished piano parts and vintage target-shooting games, with broken piano keys as design accents. On the menu: about a dozen reasonably priced pastas, and the same number of artisan pizzas. For those looking for gluten-free options, Geno’s has you covered. And if you need a cold one, they can do that for you, too. CIAO MAMBO 818 W. Riverside Ave. | 315-4447 This location of the Montana-based chain is suitable for the whole family, with friendly, high-energy servers and crayons for doodling. The extensive menu contains standard appetizers, like calamari and bruschetta, as well as a few creative items, like Tootsie Rolls (thin egg wrappers stuffed with cheese and pesto) and Nachos all’ Italiana (large crispy pasta squares topped with meatballs, prosciutto, peppers

and Alfredo sauce). After eating one of their appetizers, treat yourself to some of their tasty lasagna or one of their hand-tossed, brick-oven-baked pizzas. ITALIAN KITCHEN 113 N. Bernard St. | 363-1210 Terra-cotta floor tiles, etched glass, heavy draperies, dark wood and kitschy Italiana set the mood for traditional Italian-American favorites. For lunch, the meatball sandwich is delightful. For dinner, check out the restaurant’s two tasty kinds of gnocchi, incredible lasagna and delicious ravioli, plus steaks, chicken and seafood. If you’re feeling adventurous, try building your own pasta. Desserts are few but mighty, including burnt creme and classic tiramisu. And don’t forget the dark, high-ceilinged, old-wood bar next door. MAMMA MIA’S 420 W. Francis Ave. | 467-7786 It’s all home-style southern Italian at this north-side dining room, with sauces, pastas and breads made from old-time family recipes. The

menu has plenty of munchable appetizers to keep families happy, alongside traditional pastas (that you can now take home), pizzas and meat entrées (we love the garlic chicken). Mix and match any of their pastas and sauces for a new combination each time. They offer simple, hearty lunch options, too: Italian sub sandwiches, pizzas and calzones. LUIGI’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT 245 W. Main Ave. | 624-5226 The sauces, dressings and minestrone here are made from scratch daily, with traditional Italian favorites like fettuccine Alfredo and heart-healthy primavera filling the menu. Sure, Luigi’s is a classic Italian eatery, but it’s also known to think outside of the box, especially with its salmon lasagna. The meatball sandwich with salad makes a great lunch or even a dinner. In the bar you’ll feel like you’ve been transported to the era when Frank Sinatra and Marilyn Monroe defined the word “class.” 

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Big Bad Movie The Inlander is showing you Teen Wolf because it’s awesome, OK? By Mike Bookey

f you’re a high school student struggling to fit in, catch the eye of the hot blonde or make jump shots, there’s a solution. All that’s required to rocket up the social ladder is to reveal that you’re actually a werewolf. Bam! Problem solved. Because everyone loves the kid who is wont to turn into a hairy, mythical savage beast if he gets pissed off. That’s what I learned from Teen Wolf, the quintessentially 1985 film that also taught me about underage drinking, the excitement of “surfing” atop a van as it roars through a downtown street, and that spontaneous yet choreographed large-scale dances are the hallmark of any high school prom worth attending. We at The Inlander are showing you this film next Wednesday as the first installment of our Suds and Cinema series, an ongoing pairing of ridiculous movies and great local beer. We want you to come and enjoy it. Or make fun of it. Or perhaps just drink a couple beers and marvel that there was once a time when movies like this

44 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

were commonplace. Never heard of Teen Wolf? We’ll get you caught up: Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox in his prime) is that aforementioned struggling student; he’s on an impossibly bad basketball team that we see getting demolished in the film’s first few minutes. Then he discovers he’s a werewolf, just like his dad, and that side comes out in a basketball game. Immediately everything becomes a lot more awesome. Instead of playing like a drunk fifthgrader, he can dunk and dribble the ball without looking. He can get chicks, even the super-hot Pam, the girlfriend of his rival Mick — a beefy dude who for some reason goes to his high school but plays for a different school’s basketball team. And as if that wasn’t enough, now he can freakin’ break-dance like a sonofabitch. Teen Wolf was never supposed to be a great movie and never pretended to take itself seriously. When it was released, just months after the Fox vehicle Back to the Future, it was billed as a comedy. A lot of this — the van surfing,

Wait until you see him dunk. the clichéd fat guy on the basketball team, the fact that Scott’s best friend, Stiles, wears T-shirts silk-screened with phrases like “What Are You Looking At Dicknose” — is intentionally goofy. Other aspects — the obnoxious basketball montages, Scott’s pseudo-girlfriend being named “Boof” and the poetic fatherly advice of Scott’s dad — well, that’s just shitty filmmaking. Here’s what The New York Times said about Teen Wolf in its Aug. 23, 1985 issue: “The special effects aren’t super, but the movie isn’t important enough to damage the classic werewolf myth. No silver bullet is needed to dispatch this movie. It dies a natural death as one looks on.” OK, I’ve knocked this flick around — but come on you ’80s NYT asshat. That’s a low blow. This film is totally important enough to damage the classic werewolf myth. In fact, it set werewolves back three decades. No one gave a damn about them until that sexy shirtless guy sexily brought them back to sex up Twilight. This is the film that taught an entire generation not to be afraid of werewolves because they come in mighty handy when you need to break a 2-3 zone or illegally buy a keg of beer. Have a little respect. n Suds and Cinema: Teen Wolf • Wed, April 24 • Beer flows at 6 pm, movie begins at 8 pm with a presentation by The Inlander Film History Department • Bing Crosby Theater • $4 entry, $3 River City beers • 901 W. Sprague Ave.

FILM | SHORTS

OPENING FILMS FROM UP ON POPPY HILL

There’s something about Japanese animated films that captivates American audiences. We loved Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke and My Neighbor Totoro for the thought-provoking themes, stunning animation and gripping plots. Hayao Miyazaki, Studio Ghibli and Goro Miyazaki have created yet another tale that discusses the dichotomy of change and tradition in Japanese culture. Now, see this newest addition to the Hayao ranks at a special showing at the Magic Lantern opening on April 19. (SM) Rated PG

GIRL RISING

This documentary dives into the disgusting but important-to-know-about issue of female subjugation. Directed by Richard E. Robbins, best known for his reporting skills, the film follows the lives of nine different girls facing a variety of injustices ranging from child slavery to arranged marriages to other atrocities. Now, they’re getting an education and hoping to break free from this cycle of injustice. (MB) Rated PG-13.

OBLIVION

Jack (Tom Cruise) is a dude trying not to get captured by the alien Scavengers still scurrying around on planet Earth, still hanging out even though they lost the war with humans. (You’d think they’d take a hint and go home, but no.) The Scavs are intent on causing trouble, and it’s Jack’s job, as a sort of roving Maytag repairman, to keep in the air the fleet

of drone weapons that are protecting, from Scav attack, the ginormous fusionreactor thingies that are turning Earth’s oceans into a power source for Titan, a moon of Saturn, to which the human survivors of the war have decamped, what with Earth reduced to a radioactive wasteland and all. Then. Things. Go. Wrong. (MJ) Rated PG-13

LOST MEDALLION

Two rough-and-tumble kiddos find a secret medallion that transports them to a time almost 200 years in the past! Does anyone else smell the sweet aroma of adventure? We sure do. There are waterfalls to jump off of, animal traps to escape, and evil nemeses to avoid. They must cross the deep blue ocean and creepy through musty caves. With the fate of an entire civilization at stake, these two jaunty youths need to figure out how to harness the power of the medallion to defeat evil… and also get home in time for dinner. (SM) Rated PG

WRONG

So there’s this guy. He looses his dog. The guy, on the brink of insanity, embarks on a journey to locate his lost pooch. Somehow, a nymphomaniac, exercise-addicted jogger, and off-kilter pet detective get involved. Will he find his dog or lose his mind? Will you lose your mind after watching the movie, disconnect from logic and all sense of reality? At Magic Lantern (SM) Not Rated.

NOW PLAYING 42

A class act all the way, this sports bio tells the story of Brooklyn Dodgers second baseman Jackie Robinson (Chadwick Boseman), who wore the number 42 and was the first black player to make it into the majors. His achievement was helped along by Dodgers GM Branch Rickey (Harrison Ford), who braved the ire of fans and players alike to get rid of that race line. The film concentrates on Robinson’s life in the mid-to-late 1940s, even though there are tales aplenty of earlier exploits that would also make a great film. The athletic Boseman adds a genial intensity to the role, and Ford gets his meatiest and crustiest part in years. There’s much use of the N word, every bit of it to capture the reality of the situation. (ES) Rated PG-13

ADMISSION

Sometimes a movie just veers too far from its source material, in this case the popular 2009 novel by Jean Hanff Korelitz, about a Princeton admissions officer (Tina Fey) who gets emotionally caught up in the application of a student who might just might be ... well, all those years ago she did give up a baby for adoption. The whole story is about parent-child relationships — the one between Fey’s character and her feisty mom (Lily Tomlin), another between the head of an alternative high school (Paul Rudd) and his adopted son. It’s sort of

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a comedy; there’s some funny stuff. But most of it falls flat and sinks into blandness. (ES) Rated PG-13

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THE CROODS

We kinda have a feeling that The Croods, DreamWorks’ latest animated flick, which chronicles the adventures of a prehistoric cave-people family, will draw attention from all demographics. The plot is simple: a family (did they really have families then?) is forced to leave the only home they’ve known when it’s destroyed during a big natural disaster — the end of the world, maybe? Their journey to a safer place is basically the first road trip of all time, and as you can guess there are lots of unexpected twists and some semi-forced family bonding moments along the way. (CS) Rated PG

EVIL DEAD

Like it or not, some production company threw close to $14 million at a remake of Evil Dead. We have the same cabin in the woods. We have the same rowdy bunch of 20-somethings. But this time, the director replaced Bruce Campbell with approximately 3.5 times as much gore and 2.5 times as many rusty knives. The campy, humor-filled cult classic we all knew and loved has been transmogrified into something more serious and sinister. (Definitely don’t bring the kids to ...continued on next page

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FILM | SHORTS

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OBLIVION (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1240 340) 705 1010 GIRL RISING (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(110) 410 710 950 SCARY MOVIE 5 (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1250 300) 510 730 940 42 (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1200 315) 650 945 EVIL DEAD (R) Fri. - Sun.(130) 430 740 1005 JURASSIC PARK IN REAL D 3D (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1225 320) 630 925 THE HOST (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1220 330) 620 920 GI JOE: RETALIATION (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(140) 440 745 1030 GI JOE: RETALIATION IN REAL D 3D (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.645 PM 930 PM OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN (R) Fri. - Sun.(100 345) 720 1020 THE CROODS (PG) Fri. - Sun.(120) 420 645 910 THE CROODS IN REAL D 3D (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1230 PM 350 PM) OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1210 PM) 1000 PM OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL IN REAL D 3D (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(310 PM) 700 PM

Intended Publication Date(s): Friday, April 19, 2013. Saturday, April 20, 2013. Sunday, April 21, 2013. Published WA, Inlander [I_Directory_Update to Publish or Proof] 1.7" X 11" Produced: 3:15 PM ET, 4/16/2013 041613031523 Regal 865-925-9554

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46 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

this one.) But fans seem to like it still, and if you can satisfy an Evil Dead junkie, I guess you’ve done something right. (SM) Rated R

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION

The last G.I. Joe movie meant different things to different people. For some, it was a revitalization of childhood heroes. For others, it was a two-hour-long Channing Tatum fest. Now, the G.I. Joes are it again. They have to fight the Cobra. They have to save their paychecks from a President who has attempted to disband them. They have to fly through the air. They have to impart subliminal messages of patriotism and a pro-military agenda. But this time, we have Dwayne Johnson, aka the Rock, and Bruce Willis, the Die Hard, to make the movie that much cooler. (SM) Rated PG-13

IDENTITY THIEF

You never suspect the quiet ones. So when Sandy (Jason Bateman) discovers his identity has been stolen, the seemingly harmless Diana (Melissa McCarthy) is a surprising suspect. But Sandy’s trip to Miami to confront the criminal takes a twist when he discovers that Diana isn’t as innocent as she appears. The loud, annoying woman will do anything she can to avoid losing the luxurious lifestyle she has accrued at Sandy’s expense. Through many a car chase, fistfight and argument, Sandy must pull his identity and credit score out of the gutter. (SM) Rated R

JURASSIC PARK 3D

You know this one. The island out in the middle of the ocean that — spoiler alert — is home to a whole bunch of dinosaurs thanks to the ingenuity of an eccentric billionaire and a mosquito trapped in amber. Twenty years after its blockbusting release, Jurassic Park has received an anniversary 3D treatment, bringing those big, gnarly beasts right up into your face. It might feel like a gimmick to see Spielberg’s film rolled back into theaters after so many years, but the 3D reminds us why the film was so impactful upon its initial arrival. (MB) Rated PG-13.

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN

Olympus Has Fallen — about an assault by North Korean terrorists on the White House — had me muttering to myself: “Why couldn’t this have been the latest Die Hard movie?” Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) is a Secret Service agent shipped from a presidential protection detail to a desk job after tragically failing to save the life of the First Lady. Eighteen months later, as tensions escalate in the DMZ, those nasty North Koreans — led by the ruthless Kang (Rick Yune) — storm 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, ultimately taking the president (Aaron Eckhart) hostage. Can Banning save the day? (SR) Rated R

ON THE ROAD

Anyone who has ever wandered, been lost or yearned for either has stumbled across Jack Kerouac’s famous book, On the Road — the Bible of the Beat generation. Based on Kerouac’s real-life travels across America, OTR is, at least partially, about finding answers, chasing girls and

doing drugs. This film adaptation tracks the same storyline: Kerouac’s alter ego Sal Paradise (Sam Riley of Control) is fired up by the devil-may-care freedom of Dean Moriarty (Garrett Hedlund of Tron). Together with Dean’s wife (Kristen Stewart), they have a great adventure across 1940s America, seeking answers to life’s great questions. (LS) Rated R

OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL

Despite being a CGI-heavy affair, Sam Raimi’s Oz feels incredibly alive. Fueled by the same gleeful energy that drove Raimi’s earliest work, it not only serves as a worthy tribute to the wonderland conceived by L. Frank Baum but also a celebration of moviemaking itself. This prequel to the 1939 classic fittingly opens with a circus sideshow circa 1905 where the ramshackle wooden structures instantly recall Evil Dead’s shoddy sets. This black-and-white chapter introduces Oscar “Oz” Diggs (James Franco), a lowrung magician/first-rate Lothario, who ends up in a tornado that lands him in a familiar Technicolor landscape where he encounters Theodora (Mila Kunis) and a couple of witches, played by Michelle Williams and Rachel Weisz. (CW) Rated PG.

THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES

A circus performer/motorcycle badass/ thief/new father (Ryan Gosling) turns to robbing banks to support his brand new baby son and chip-off-her-shoulder lover. A rookie, idealist cop (Bradley Cooper), complete with hopes and dreams, tries to stop the robberies in an attempt to move up the ranks in a corrupt police department. Who is right? Who is wrong? Does the love for your family, or rather, the love of the law win out in the end? Watch the 15-year-long journey of two people as their stories entangle, altering their lives in heavy ways. (SM) Rated R

QUARTET

Centered around four musically inclined retirees and starring everybody’s favorite Downton Abbey actress Maggie Smith, this movie melds together our love for music and old people. The drama that ensues at this retirement center threatens the success of the annual gala con-

IDENTITY THIEF cert, leaving the audience with one question: will the show go on? (KS) Rated PG-13

SIDE EFFECTS

The newest collaboration between director Steven Soderbergh and writer Scott Z. Burns (Contagion, The Informant!) is their best. It’s a twisty-turny mysterythriller about money, sex, (prescription) drugs, sleepwalking, and lots more. Great writing and direction, every actor is spoton. At Magic Lantern (ES) Rated R

TRANCE

A famous art auction house is prepared for any attack, any time; procedure and protocol ensure that priceless goods will stay safe and sound. But during the most recent attack during a sale, art auctioneer Simon (James McAvoy) has no idea where a painting worth several million dollars ended up. Cue action art thievery! Cue a cunning journey to locate the stolen painting! Overall, it’s safe to say that director Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later) never retraces his steps when it comes to the movie he makes. Now the question remains — will Trance join the ranks of Boyle noteworthiness? (SM) Rated R 

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o ahead. Indulge in the very best movpartner — in work and love — is Victoria (Andrea ie promo tie-in ever: the Oblivion-branded Riseborough), and she’s been memory-wiped, Mandatory Memory Wipe, available too. Only two more weeks to go in their tour of at the concession stand with the popcorn and duty, and then it’s their turn to head out to the nachos. It’s so cool! Then you can walk into new paradise on Titan. Oblivion with no recollection of 2001: A Space If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge in Odyssey and Independence Day and 2012 and Mad Brooklyn — only slightly damaged by some miMax and Planet of the Apes and the entire history nor planetary crustal displacement — to sell you. of science fiction movies, and It’s possible that director Joseph hence you’ll enjoy yourself Kosinski instead imagined he was OBLIVION ever so much more. shooting a commercial for Ikea Rated PG-13 And you get to be like Tom Directed by Joseph Kosinski 2077, but that’s cool, too. You Cruise! Because a “Mandatory Starring Tom Cruise, Morgan Freeman will drool over the glossy domesMemory Wipe” is exactly what tic techno-porn that is Jack and his Jack Harper has undergone. Victoria’s cushy post-apocalypse It’s a security thing, you see, in case he gets caplifestyle. The film on the whole is far more visutured by the alien Scavengers still scurrying ally intriguing than Kosinski’s debut, the dreadaround on planet Earth, still hanging out even fully ugly Tron: Legacy. The imagery of the though they lost the war with humans. (You’d destroyed Moon — which ostensibly caused the think they’d take a hint and go home, but no.) geological upheaval that did much of the damage The Scavs are intent on causing trouble, and on Earth — is shocking like a train wreck, a colosit’s Jack’s job, as a sort of roving Maytag repairsal cracked egg in the sky now trailing rings of man, to keep in the air the fleet of drone weapdebris, but also beautiful in a horrific way. ons that are protecting, from Scav attack, the Don’t expect to be surprised by the plot or ginormous fusion-reactor thingies that are turncharacters, which are so derivative not only of ing Earth’s oceans into a power source for Titan, classic sci-fi films and little cult favorites — many a moon of Saturn, to which the human surviof which will have been seen only by the geekiest vors of the war have decamped, what with Earth of geeks — but also of recent big-budget blockreduced to a radioactive wasteland and all. Jack’s busters. 

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APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 55

relationships

Advice Goddess Dark Clouds On The Verizon

I work 9 to 5, and my girlfriend of two years is retired and pretty much free all day. I’ve asked that we treat dinner as our special time to reconnect and ignore incoming phone calls. Sadly, instead of embracing this request, she has resisted me with full force. Whenever the phone rings during dinner, she answers and stays on as long as the call takes. We don’t get urgent calls. She counters that if the phone rings, you answer it, and that it could amy alkon be some problem she can just address and be done with. She deems my request “controlling,” yet I’ve never made a demand or thrown a tantrum. I’ve just explained that I’d appreciate it if we could carve out 30 minutes of together-time. I’ve also asked her to ignore the phone when we’re in bed, but her tendency is to answer it — even if we’re having sex. I’ve explained how unwanted —Ignored this phone thing makes me feel, but she doesn’t seem to get it.

What will happen if one of these calls goes to voicemail? Kim Jong Un will unleash an electromagnetic pulse bomb on the U.S., and the power grid will be fried for 40 years — or the neighbor will have to call back to tell your girlfriend the ingenious thing she did to perk up her banana cake? Two years into your relationship, the point when so many partners are just getting good at taking each other for granted, you’re telling your girlfriend you want to carve out special time to focus on each other — just 30 minutes out of her unbusy, retired woman day. She, in turn, responds like you just demanded she cut off her three favorite fingers and feed them to the pigeons. It’s possible that she isn’t entirely conscious of why she’s treating you this way. She may fear getting closer and then getting dumped or think you’ll value her more if she makes you feel like less and less. It’s possible she is punishing you for something or is trying to abuse you into leaving. What is clear is who’s the controlling one here — the self-appointed dowager countess of the relationship, making the unilateral decision that the phone will be answered no matter what. As for you, her significant serf, keep quiet and eat your gruel while milady has a nice chat with Rachel from Cardmember Services. It must get hard to parse whether you’re in a relationship or a call center. Perhaps you, like many people, assume that being in a relationship means having a partner who loves you and cares about your happiness. Your girlfriend does seem to — as long as it doesn’t mean having to call somebody back after dinner. Even if she doesn’t fully understand what’s motivating her behavior, if she does love you, she can behave lovingly while she figures it out and stop answering the phone like she’s one of the town’s two sober volunteer firemen. Telling her how unwanted you feel obviously isn’t enough; you also have to have standards for how you’ll be treated and be willing to walk if they aren’t met — ideally, into the arms of a woman whose screams of passion in bed don’t include “Who’s calling, please?”

SWAT About A Friday Night?

I met this very attractive woman who works at my local bank. She has twice called me regarding the bank’s offerings, and I’ve gotten a vibe that her interest isn’t wholly professional. Do I drop by on a pretext and blindside her with “Let’s go out —Stuck sometime”? Is there another way to get her attention? Many men have had success getting the attention of a woman who works in a bank by coming in wearing pantyhose over their head and handing her a note. Unfortunately, this approach also tends to draw the attention of the woman’s co-workers (unimaginative sorts who, at the first sign of creative headgear, are quick to summon the SWAT team). Even if you forgo the pantyhat, asking her out in person is a problem, as nothing turns the workplace into a junior high school cafeteria faster than having your co-workers looking on as somebody hits on you. (Unless your “local bank” is Citibank’s world headquarters, she probably sits at a desk in the middle of the place.) So, do go in on some pretext — so she can attach a face to your name — and then phone her to ask her out. If she turns you down, just act like you’re cool with it and you shouldn’t have a problem showing your face in the bank — tempting as it might be to go in wearing a Richard Nixon mask and try again: “No dye packs or marked money, and can I interest you in dinner and a slow-speed police chase?” n ©2013, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

56 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

events | calendar Kids Got Talent Live scholarship talent competition for kids in grades 1-12, hosted by the Kiwanis Club of Downtown Spokane. April 20 at 7 pm. $5$10. The Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. kiwanisdtspokane.org (466-5129) Earth Day Spokane “Be Green, Keep it Clean”-themed street festival featuring live music, performances, spoken word, community leader presentations, local food, kids’ activities and more. April 20 from 9 am-4 pm. Free. Downtown Spokane on Main Ave. between Division and Browne. Moscow Hemp Fest 17th annual festival featuring vendors, speakers, live music and more. April 20 from 10 am-dusk. Free. Moscow East City Park, 900 E. Third St. (208-301-2289) Sandpoint Earth Day Celebration Community event featuring art projects, educational activities, food and beverages, live music and more. April 20 from 11 am-4 pm. Forrest M. Bird Charter School, 614 S. Madison Ave., Sandpoint. (208-597-7188) Kids Earth Day Workshop Seed planting workshop and a screening of “The Lorax.” April 20 at 2 pm. Free, RSVP required. Pilgrim’s Market, 1316 N. Fourth St., CdA. pilgrimsmarket. com (208-676-9730) St. Mary’s Legacy Gala “Faith, Knowledge, Community” 41st annual Legacy Gala and fundraiser. April 20 at 4:30 pm. $50. Mirabeau Park Hotel, 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. stmarysspokane. com (924-4300) Roundup Extravaganza Fundraiser Talent show fundraiser event, auction and more benefiting the Southside Senior & Community Center. April 20 at 5 pm. $25. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. (535-0803) Coeur d’Alene Earth Day Fair Celebrate Earth Day and learn more about how to protect and preserve the environment at this family-friendly event. April 21 from noon-3 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Public Library, 702 E. Front St. (208-667-9093) Race for the Cure Participate in a 1-mile survivor’s walk or 3-mile fun run to benefit the Susan G. Komen Eastern Washington Affiliate. April 21 at 9 am. $15-$25. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. komeneasternwashington.org Toy Robot Class Paint and add pieces to a toy to make it look like a robot. April 21 from 12:30-5 pm. $56 (includes materials). Ages 12 and up. Spokane Valley Library, 12004 E. Main Ave. clymergallery.com (keely@clymergallery.com) Mukogawa Family Festival Japanese festival featuring activities, food, performances and more. April 24 from 3-5 pm. Free. Mukogawa Commons, 4320 W. Owens Ridge Rd. (328-2971)

Film

Last Call at the Oasis Screening of the documentary on the global water crisis. April 18 at 6 pm. Free. Pilgrim’s Market, 1316 N. Fourth St., CdA. pilgrimsmarket.com (208-676-9730) Hendrix 70: Live at Woodstock Screening of the live concert film. April 19 at 5:30 pm, 8 pm and midnight. $5. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com (2277638)

Whale Rider Film screening. April 19 at 7 pm. Free with snacks provided. Lidgerwood Presbyterian Church, 4449 N. Nevada St. (487-9667) Bravo! Screening of the documentary “Bravo! Common Men, Uncommon Valor” hosted by the University of Idaho. April 19 at 6:30 pm. Free, donations accepted. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow International Fly Fishing Film Festival Screenings of films associated with the outdoor recreational sport. April 20 at 7 pm. $12-$15. Panida Theater, 300 N. First Ave., Sandpoint. panhandletu.org (208-263-9191) Japan Week Screenings of Japanese films through the week. Times and dates of screenings vary. April 20-28. $5. Magic Lantern Spokane, 25 W. Main Ave. (209-2383) Reel Movies for Reel Needs Families with special-needs children are invited to see a movie. Movies shown the first and third Sundays in April (April 7 and 21) at 11 am. $6/adults; kids under 14 free. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. (208-882-4127) Chasing Ice Screening of the acclaimed environmental documentary. April 22 at 7 pm. The Panida, 300 N. First Ave., Sandpoint. (208-263-9191) Trashed Screening of the documentary in accordance with Earth Day. April 22 at 5 pm. $7. The Magic Lantern, 25 W. Main Ave. magiclanternspokane.com (209-2383) Suds & Cinema Movie night hosted by The Inlander with a screening of Teen Wolf and $3 beers from River City Brewing. April 24 at 6 pm. $4. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7404) The Invisible War Oscar-nominated documentary about sexual violence in the military. April 24 from 1-3:30 pm. Free and open to the public. EWU Monroe Hall, Cheney campus.

Food

Italian Cooking Class Learn to make fried calamari, seafood pasta, stracciatelle and more. April 18 at 6 pm. $45. Joanie’s Magic Spoon, 10307 N. Prairie Dr. (624-6564) Wines of Northern Italy Learn about and taste wines from some of Italy’s renowned northern regions. April 19 at 7 pm. $20, reservations required. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (343-2253) UnCorked! Wine tasting, appetizers and chocolate social hosted by NAWBO as its annual fundraiser with an silent auction. April 19 from 5:30-9 pm. $45. Chateau Rive, 621 W. Mallon Ave. nawbonw.org (731-3309) Cask & Keg 11th annual event featuring beer and wines made by local breweries and wineries as a fundraiser for the Spokane Valley Firefighters’ Benevolent Association. April 19 from 6:30-10:30 pm. $40-$45. Spokane Events & Catering, 10512 E. Appleway Ave. svffba.org (998-1987) Festival of Wine 22nd annual event benefiting St. Luke’s Rehabilitation Institute featuring tastings of premium Washington wines with hors d’oeuvres, silent and live auctions and more. April 20 from 6:30-10 pm. $125$200. Manito Country Club, 5303 S. Hatch Rd. festivalofwineandflowers. com (232-8131)

YWCA Spring Fling Eighth annual champagne brunch and silent auction benefiting YWCA programs. April 20 from 10 am-12:30 pm. $50. Anthony’s, 510 N. Lincoln St. ywcaspringfling.2013.eventbrite.com (789-9306) Dry Fly Dinner Four-course dinner featuring Dry Fly pairings mixed by a local bartender; dinner benefits the Steelhead Coalition. April 21 and 22 at 6 pm. $60. Santé, 404 W. Main Ave. Japanese Haru Matsuri Food Festival 23rd annual Japanese food festival featuring several traditional dishes, sushi and more. Eat in or take out. April 21 from noon-4 pm. Pre-ordering recommended. $4-$12. Spokane Buddhist Temple, 927 S. Perry St. spokanebuddhisttemple.org (534-7954) Cupcake Decorating Decorate cupcakes with Yoke’s Markets’ dessert specialist in a hands-on workshop. April 23 at 3:30 pm at Airway Heights Library. May 2 at Cheney Library

Music

Renew 2013 feat. David Meece Christian music event benefiting Christ Clinic/Kitchen. April 18 from 7-9 pm. Free, donations accepted for the fundraising effort. The Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. (325-0393) SYM Dance symphony created and composed by NIC composition instructor Gerard Mathes. April 18-20 at 7:30 pm, April 21 at 2 pm. Free. NIC Schuler Performing Arts Center, 1000 W. Garden Ave. (208-665-2759) Holy Names Music Fundraiser Fundraiser event featuring a wine and dessert reception followed by a theatrical concert, “The Sopranos.” April 18. Reception at 6:30 pm, concert at 7 pm. $20. The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague Ave. Pamela Brownlee Jazz concert. April 19 at 7:30 pm. $15-$20. The Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St. Post Falls. thejacklincenter.org Spokane Symphony SuperPops Series: Pirates of Penzance. April 20 at 8 pm. $25+. Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox, 1001 W. Riverside Ave. spokanesymphony.org (624-1200) SpringFest Annual outdoor carnival and concert hosted by WSU’s Student Entertainment Board, featuring live music and the inaugural SpringFest Arts Market. April 20. Washington State University, Pullman campus. (509-335-3503) Mary Chapin Carpenter & Shawn Colvin Concert showcasing the two singer/songwriters. April 20 at 7:30 pm. $45-$55. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. (227-7638) Spring Fever Local music festival featuring performances by Carper & Peterson, Henry C. and The Willards, Thorn Creek Express, Bad Apple, Forgotten Freight, Igor and The Swamp Donkeys. April 20 at 8 pm. $12. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow. kenworthy.org (208-882-4127) Ugandan Orphans Choir Members of the choir will sing and dance in traditional costumes accompanied by African music. April 21 at 9 am and 10:45 am. Eastpoint Church, 15303 E. Sprague Ave. (533-6800) Spokane Youth Symphony “Love is in the Air” spring concert. April 21 at 4 pm. $13-$17. Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox, 1001 W. Riverside Ave. spokanesymphony.org (624-1200)

Spokane Symphony Chorale Duruflé’s Requiem. April 21 at 7:30 pm. $10$25. Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox, 1001 W. Riverside Ave. (624-1200) Don Williams Country music concert. April 22 at 7:30 pm. $40-$58. Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox, 1001 W. Riverside Ave. (624-1200) Spokane Symphony Symphony with a Splash: Dance Mix. April 26 from 5-8 pm. Happy hour and small appetizer plates precede the concert, starting at 5 pm. Music starts at 7 pm. $30. Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox, 1001 W. Riverside Ave. (624-1200)

Performance

Koresh Dance Company Contemporary dance performance by the acclaimed, internationally touring dance company. April 20 at 7 pm. $20-$30. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St., Post Falls. (208-457-8950) Kelly Irish Dancers Irish step-dancing performance. April 22-23 at 7 pm. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7638) Sesame Street Live “Can’t Stop Singing” musical performance. May 1 at 10:30 am and 6:30 pm. $13-$26. INB Performing Arts Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. inbpac.com (279-7000)

Sports

Dodgeball Tournament Lutherhaven CampFest with family activities, prizes, food and more, and a dodgeball tournament. April 19 from 5-9 pm. Free; $10 to enter tournament. HUB Sports Center, 19619 E. Cataldo Ave., Liberty Lake. lutherhaven.com (208-667-3459) Earth Day 5K Fun Run to benefit the Friends of the Pend Oreille Bay Trail. April 20 at 8 am. $10. Starts at Travers Park in Sandpoint. (208-265-9565) Lilac City Roller Girls Women’s flat track roller derby bout. April 20 at 5 pm. $10-$15. Spokane County Fair & Expo Center, 404 N. Havana St. brownpapertickets.com Wash. State River Stewardship Thomas O’Keefe with American Whitewater will discuss the organization’s local activities. April 22 at 7 pm. Free. Mountain Gear Corporate HQ, 6021 E. Mansfield Ave. sckc.ws (209-3066)

Theater

Sirens Comedy. Through April 20. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm; Sun at 2 pm and select special showings on April 17 at 7:30 pm and April 13 and 20 at 2 pm. $15-$28. Cheese and wine tasting before the performance on April 17, $40. Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. Howard St. interplayers.org (455-7529) Treasure Island Adventure. Through April 21. Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $18-$24. Spokane Civic Theater, 1020 N. Howard St. spokanecivictheatre. com (325-2507) Hello Dolly! Musical comedy. April 18-20 at 7:30 pm and April 20-21 at 1:30 pm. $10-$20. Regional Theatre of the Palouse, 122 N. Grand Ave., Pullman. rtoptheatre.org (334-0750). Murder Mystery Dinner & Auction Murder mystery play set in Las Vegas with dinner and an auction to benefit the Spokane Pride Parade and Festival in June. April 18 from 6-9 pm. $35. Chateau Rive, 621 W. Mallon Ave. outspokane.org (720-7609)

Twelfth Night Performance of the Shakespeare comedy. April 18-21 and 25-28. Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $10. University of Idaho Hartung Theater, 625 Stadium Dr., Moscow I Hate Hamlet Comedy. Through April 29. Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. April 18 performance at 7:30 pm. $15-$20. Ignite Community Theatre, 10814 E. Broadway Ave. (795-0004) How I Became a Pirate Children’s musical comedy. April 13 and April 20 at 1 pm and 4 pm. $5-$10. Spokane Civic Theater, 1020 N. Howard St. (325-2507) Out of the Shadows One-woman show on the life of Joy Davidman Lewis, the wife of writer C.S. Lewis, presented by Moody Radio Northwest and The Lion’s Share Theatre. April 21 at 3 pm. $10-$20. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. lionaround.org (327-1113) Barefoot in the Park Reader’s theater version of the play. April 21 at 2 pm. $15. Hamilton Studio, 1427 W. Dean Ave.

Visual Arts

Whitworth Senior Art Exhibition “Real Eyes, Realize, Real Lies” senior art exhibition. Through May 18. Gallery open Mon-Fri 10 am-6 pm, Sat from 10 am-2 pm. Whitworth Lied Center, 300 W. Hawthorne Rd. (777-3258) Tina Sanger Acrylic paintings on masonite exhibition. April 18-May 15. Artist reception April 18 from 5-7 pm. South Perry Pizza, 1011 S. Perry St. (290-6047) MFA Exhibit Exhibition featuring work by University of Idaho master of fine arts degree candidates. Through May

4. Free. Prichard Art Gallery, 414 S. Main St., Moscow. (208-310-1231) Art Sampler Students will explore different materials to create art inspired by famous 20th century artists. Fridays from 4-5:40 pm. $15/class. Ages 8-12. Spokane Art School, 809 W. Garland Ave. spokaneartschool.net (325-3001) Landscape Art Show Exhibit featuring artwork in various media depicting Northwest landscapes. April 19-May 10. Artist reception April 19 from 5-7 pm. Free. The Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St. Post Falls. thejacklincenter.org (208-457-8950) Art of Science “Art of Science: Botanical Illustration Past and Present” presentation with Jack Nisbet and artist Linda Ann Vorobik. April 19 at 3 pm. $10$35. The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. Drawing the Human Hand Learn how to draw the hand, the most complex part of the human body. April 20 from 10 am-2 pm. $35. Spokane Art School, 809 W. Garland Ave. spokaneartschool.net (325-3001) Botanical Art Learn the basics of creating botanical illustrations with Linda Ann Vorobik. All skill levels welcome. April 20-21. $150. Turnbull Laboratory for Ecological Studies, 26010 S. Smith Rd., Cheney. (209-2402)

Words

History Lecture “King Richard III & The Princes in the Tower: Historical Mysteries Considered” lecture by RaGena DeAragon. April 18 at 7:30 pm. Free and open to the public. Jundt Art Museum, 502 E. Boone Ave. (313-6695)

Jess Steven Hughes The local author will sign copies of his book “The Sign of the Eagle.” April 19 from 3-8 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Hastings, 101 E. Best Ave. Child Abuse Panel A panel of three students who experienced child abuse will share their stories and experiences and will respond to questions. April 19 from 2-3:30 pm. Free and open to the public. EWU Monroe Hall, Cheney campus. (359-2898) Alice Derry & Joseph Powell The two poets will present some of their latest work. April 20 at 2 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com (838-0206) Prayers in Nez Perce Catherine Brown Tkacz will present a lecture on the prayers that Gonzaga University founder Rev. Joseph Cataldo composed and translated into the Nez Perce language. April 20 from 10 am-noon. Bishop White Seminary, 429 E. Sharp Ave. The StoryTelling Company Season’s last storytelling and live music dinner show. April 21 from 5-8 pm. $6-$10, not including dinner or drinks. All-ages. Di Luna’s Café, 207 Cedar St., Sandpoint. Shakespeare in the Material World Discussion on Shakespeare’s work with Gonzaga professor Heather Easterling. April 21 at 4 pm. Free and open to the public. The Shop, 924 S. Perry St. (313-3572) Valerie Lipstein & Pamela Biasca Losada The authors read from and discuss their book “Empower: Stories of Breakthrough, Triumph and Discovery.” April 24 at 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks. com (838-0206) n

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Un Bel Diva based on a one-act opera by Joseph Haydn

Downtownton Abbey an original musical parody of the PBS hit series

Tim Campbell Artistic Director

FRIDAY. APRIL 26TH • 6:00 April 26, 7:30pm The Spokane Public Market invites you to attend the 2nd annual tasting event including wine, microbrews, hard cider and spirits. Fine wines will be paired with food available in the market.

April 27, 2:00pm May 4, 7:30pm

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APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 57

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58 58 INLANDER INLANDER APRIL APRIL 18, 18, 2013 2013

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Deaconess Medical Bldg 4-9-13. I was the blondish-slightly doughy, white woman in a purple coat waiting for my aunt. You were the hot Asian gentleman in a nice suit with a leather bag and a bit of silver in your bangs. I pretended to stare at the directory, but I was staring at your reflection instead. I waved at you. I hope it makes your day to know that you are handsome.

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managed to corral my pup until I was able to get there to pick her up and then refused to take the reward I was offering for Khal’s return. My dogs are like my children and I am so very thankful for everyone that helped me get her back! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

give me everything I need and more. There’s no guy in the world who can understand me better than you do and I want you to know I appreciate you and love you more anything! Thank you so much for all your love and support. I hope that you fully understand what you mean to me! Love “Your Monster” Bonnie

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60 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

To The Nice Employee at Fred Meyer who came up quietly behind me and said in a low voice, “Ma’am, you’ll have to return to the restroom — you have a long trail of toilet paper hanging out the back.” Indeed I did — at least 2 feet long. I applaud her graciousness and thank her for making me painfully snicker at myself. Sacred Heart For the ICU staff at Sacred Heart for helping my

Numerica To the cute brown haired girl with the adorable freckles at the Numerica in Airway Heights. You are crazy cute. Want to go to meet at Rusty Moose for drinks then hop on over to the cinema for Put a non-identifying email address in your message, like a movie some Friday night?

TO CONNECT

Cheers

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Neighborhood Heroes To our heroes Sue and Dave for taking our lost cat to a vet, where her microchip was scanned so we got her back.

Men’s Rules Men are not mind readers. Learn to work the toilet. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Crying is blackmail. Ask for want you want. Let us be clear on this. Subtle hints don’t work! Strong hints don’t work! Obvious hints don’t work! Just say it! Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask. Christopher Columbus did not need directions - neither do we. If we ask what’s wrong and you say nothing. We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying but it isn’t worth the hassle. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motorsports. Good Samaritan To the young man who was so wonderful in helping me when my dog jumped out of my car window. I was desperate and you were so kind and generous with your time. I was so upset that I didn’t thank you as I should have.

“petals327@yahoo.com” — not “j.smith@comcast.net.” grieving family honor my mother’s wish to die with dignity and on her terms, from the ER docs all the way down to the parking attendant who was sorry for our loss. I rave as much as I can muster through my grief because my mother loved to rant. Thank You. Cheers to the men and women of the Spokane Police Department who risk their lives daily to protect us. Jeers to people without respect for the law or people’s property who think they can say or do whatever they want. Friendly Support To the woman at the clinic who comforted me when I was freaked out about the results of a scary mammogram. Everything turned out OK for me, as I hope it did for her too. A Big Thank You to all the dear people who take time out of their busy schedules to give blood to the blood banks. I was in dire need of a transfusion recently, and it was a blessing to receive instant health. I benefited from people’s thoughtfulness. You don’t get to hear how much we appreciate you, but we sure do. Please keep giving. Thank you.

To My Mom I am a teenage boy who shares a very special bond with his mom. I know that most kids my age (and gender) don’t really like spending time with their family, or more specifically, their parents. I too like doing stuff with friends or out of the household, but I also really enjoy spending time with you. We have been through a lot, being a family of two, but I just want to let you know that you mean the world to me, and I don’t know what I would do without you. You have taught me how to be a good man, how to stay positive, and have showed me the lessons life has to offer, along with how to learn from your mistakes. You have always been there for me, during good times and bad, always lending a helping hand, a hug, advice, and much more. You always do the right thing, even if it is not the easiest. We have so many memories together, from vacations to sports, from picnics to school, from laughter to preparing meals, and everything in-between. I am always trying to make you proud and be as good of a person as you are, but I honestly do not think it is possible. You deserve a medal and a winning lottery ticket, along with many other things. I don’t know if you will read this, but if you do, I want to let you know that “I love you to the moon and back- infinity times” and that I will never stop thinking about you. Love, t Left Bank Thursday, April 4th. You, beautiful brunette, a little black dress, a couple of smooth reds, your favorite cheeses, sharing your stories in your own animated way, and those gorgeous smiling brown eyes!. The rest of the world disappeared for a while. I hope it will be a special place for us for a long time.

Happy Birthday Month! To my beautiful fun size wife. I love you more everyday and look forward to every day I wake up next to you. You’re the reason my life is complete. From the bottom of my heart I love you. Enjoy your special month! Happy 20th Birthday CharDae You have grown another year, one of the many we will spend together. As you age in years and grow as a person we will age together and grow as lovers. I am beyond grateful to not only be in your life but to be of great importance. The milk to your cereal, the pepperoni to your pizza and the Michael to your Jackson. I love you and Happy Birthday. Truly only yours, Rico Co-Worker at Buck Knives. Just a little shout out to you for being a good friend. Hoping the best for you in your new position! I am sure you will do a great job. I am looking forward to the day when you will buy me lunch with that pay raise. Good luck to you and see you around work!

Jeers Skateboarder To the young man skateboarding on a crowded sidewalk who yelled at me and roughly shoved his way around me. Sidewalks are for pedestrians, son. Had you bothered to notice, I was being assisted; I walk slowly because I have MS. Spokanites Your holiday cheer is really tacky when it extends past January with your St. Patrick’s Day, Easter and soon Fourth of July seasonal décor. Instead spend your money on nice plants — that’s a decoration that everyone appreciates!

Our Relationship A relationship needs many things to stay seamless. Communication, love, respect, and loyalty may be the most important aspects of any happy romance. But every now and then, as lovers, what we need more than anything Jake N. is this week’s winner else is appreciation. Every of the “Say it Sweet” promotion! now and then, all of us like hearing something Send in your CHEERS so sweet and complimenting. It you too can be enmakes us feel like we’re doing tered to win 1 dozen something right, so here goes: To “Cheers” cupcakes at my Clyde, You have been so good Celebrations Sweet to me, so kind and gentle, so sweet and honest. I could never ask for Boutique. anything from you because you

WINNER!!

A Big Huge Cheers to all the Accident Witness To the pickup wonderful people in the Painted driver who witnessed an accident Hills area that helped me find my March 26th and stopped to give puppy Khaleesi! I received more a statement to the State Patrol. help than I ever expected. A special Thanks to you, we will not have to thanks to Craig and his wife who pay any insurance deductible, my put food out for her and kept in husband was found not at fault so contact with me. Also, a huge thank our insurance rates will not go up you to the woman that somehow “I Saw You” is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

Jeers

Bus Riders To all those bus riders who only start looking for their fare when they are standing in front of the fare box. Why not use the time you spend waiting for the bus or during the ride to start looking for your fare, pass or transfer?”

me as I was parking my car. He got out and said I needed to move because I was parked in front of his house. Dumbfounded, I followed his instructions. Message to this moron: you do not own street parking in front of your house, and I have every right to park there, even it means you have to walk 6 feet around my car to your property.

larger audience who, for the most part being under six, will reward your performance with satisfying shock. In addition you might consider also throwing yourself on the floor while you fill the air with profanity. I think it would add to your act.

Cellphone Users sharing your loud personal life on the bus or in a quiet coffee house. It’s beyond annoying hearing from across a room about your issues, who you had sex with or your yelling and cursing at the person you’re on the phone with! Maybe the radiation has mutated your brain? Shame On You To the person or persons that continuously steal trinkets and memorabilia from our mother’s gravesite. My mother would say, “If they took it, they needed it more than she did.” But shame on you! Unplug To the mom who had a portable DVD attached to the tray of the stroller so her toddler could watch a cartoon while strolling along the beautiful Centennial Trail on Sunday morning. Unplug, people! Your child doesn’t need to watch a movie while on a walk. So-Called Professionals To companies who take two or more weeks to choose an employee from those interviewed and then don’t have the courtesy to notify those not selected. Have they never waited for a phone call that never came, a call that could affect the rest of their lives? Shame on them for their lack of empathy. Respect To the couple smelling of alcohol who sat next to me at the musical West Side Story. Did your parents never teach you to keep silent during musical performances? What part of “Shhh” did you not understand? You ruined my enjoyment of the show with your lack of respect for the performers and the audience around you. Insults Jeers to the women on the bus who, when asked to quell their use of expletives around my young children, disparaged me for having a biracial family and insulted my daughters’ hair. Cheers to the man who told them my request concerning their language was valid and that they had no reason to insult me and my family. Thank you, sir. Park It! To the man in the Chevy SUV backing up toward me until I had to honk so he wouldn’t hit

Ridiculous Behavior To the woman at the Twigs bar who kept coming on to my husband in my presence. You might want to try and keep your libido under control or at least turn your attention toward the single guys. Your behavior was ridiculous and you became the brunt of a lot of jokes. Lack of Reading? Parents no longer take part of educating their kids? Do you know that some parents didn’t even finish high school? Did you know that some parents did, yet didn’t have the opprotunity to attend college? Do you know that some parents did attend college to do “their” job? Did you go to college to do their job? Last time I checked, those parents who did not choose the “teaching profession,” did not go to college to teach. Would you like to have to do “our jobs” and yours too? Quit whining! Most of “us parents” don’t have three months off every Summer, not to mention Spring and Christmas break and all those half days, of which you get paid for. Seriously? Most of “us” parents are putting in nine to fifteen hour days at work without any of those “perks,” yet now you’re asking us to do your job too? Add ADD, ADHD, Peer pressure; Bullying; Advancing technology and Family bonding time to the plate on top of the nine to fifteen hour days we’re putting in without all your “perks” and your wanting us parents to do your jobs now too? Come do my job. Walk a mile in my shoes. By the way, my child loves to read. Quit doing our inventory. You’ll be off in two months, Whiner An Adult Meltdown Young lady, evidently you were angry as you exited the Cheney Library Monday. Did you get a fine? Not find the book you wanted? “F___! S___!B_____!” you shrieked. Only a nine-year-old and myself to witness the outburst. The nineyear-old smothered a giggle. Nothing much more amusing to that age group than an adult meltdown (they themselves having been so recently removed form the age of tantrums). Just a suggestion, I believe that Tuesday is storytime and provides a much

S T E A M E D P T A X H I K E E O K T O B E R E D I V E S T D I E E N E E S T N R E T S D I V E P E N O ’S T O R E R E A T A THIS WEEK! R A O D S N A R P E ANSW K E R N E L S S T A T E U E D I T M E N N F E S T E R N E S T I R A S I A V L Y S E S T T P A I N F E S T L I E E E H W L J O E C O O A C E R R I A R U L E O N E P E D M U T S R S I L E N T

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Why Not The Valley Why can’t we get a restaurant in the valley area. With all the quality restaurants that go down town and fail. They ought to look in the Spokane Valley. I’m not going downtown with no parking and so-called homeless always looking for a hand-out. We have quite a few people here that want a quality place to dine.

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Jeers To Myself for being an idiot. I want to apologize to the few people at the Iron Horse in Coeur d’Alene on a Frida night near closing. I drank too much before I got there, it’s that simple and I acted a fool. I don’t remember what I said but I know it wasn’t nice because I remember in flashes that I was cussing and carrying on as I got kicked out of the bar and for that and for how I carried myself and treated you, I’m sorry for being an a-hole. Mom yet another year without you. Your birthday is this weekend. Some things never change, I still can’t go up to the cemetary without crying. Wishing you were here to see your great grandsons and how much they look like “our” side of the family. Love and miss you, your Family. Scoundrel Great job on sending your wife of ten years roses on your anniversary. Too bad you had them delivered to her work, after you spray painted them black, with a nasty note letting her know you cheated on her and you are leaving her. You’re a real class act, buddy. RE: Tattoo’s Dear ignorant old man, I am sorry to hear that you are still living in the past when it comes to self expression. I work for an extremely prestigious luxury company (I’m sure you, or your wife, enjoy many of our products/ services), and I have considerably more tattoos than most, and in very obvious places. I work with the general public, and receive compliments on a daily basis regarding my artwork. It is a shame that you can’t see past appearance, and I feel very sorry for the people who work for your company (as well as your family members). I’m sure they would appreciate a place where they feel free to be themselves without being looked down on by someone like yourself who hasn’t adjusted with the times. RE: Tattoo’s To the business owner that thinks it is somehow ok to discriminate against people who look different than you. It is not, you are a disgusting bigot and I hope one of your employees sues you for discrimination. I do not have tattoos, I do not care for them but how dare you treat people like they are less than you because they look different. Shame on you! If I knew what business you owned I would never go there.

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APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 61

My So-Called Memories Inside the brain of my younger self By Leah Sottile

y mom hefted the last cardboard box labeled “LEAH STUFF” into the back of my Subaru wagon. The car slouched under the weight. My mom told me it was time to start hauling my old stuff back to my own house. You’re 31, she said, and it was time I took home my boxes of toys, Babysitter’s Club books and googly-eyed dolls. Every time I go home to visit, it’s like spending a weekend inside an old memory. There’s the old library where I used to ride my bike to every summer day and knew the librarians by name. The elementary school I loved, the junior high I hated. The fences I cut up my legs on during games of hide and seek. The steep hill where I test-drove my Rollerblades. Legs and elbows bloody, I walked back up the hill and gave up wearing them. But inside those big cardboard “LEAH STUFF” boxes, I found a different kind of memory. Among Barbie dolls, Cabbage Patch kids, piggy banks and crumpledup band posters, I found long-forgotten glimpses of my confused former self. At the bottom of a box were four diaries I kept from Dec. 30, 1988 — when I was 7 — to Aug. 27, 1999, the last entry written from the backseat of the same Subaru I drive today as my parents took me to college.

y first diary was a small, bubblegum-pink hardcover thing with a tiny metal lock. The first entry documents — in awkward, spindly writing — that I received it for Christmas.

From the get-go, it was clear I viewed diary-writing primarily as recordkeeping. But it was also an excuse to be a meticulous social observer. On Feb. 2, 1989, I wrote that my brother Matt was in trouble: “Today, at night, at 7:51, Matt was getting yelled at.” As a young writer, I experimented with dramatic tension and rising action. Jan. 17, 1990: “Dear Diary, I think we lost my pet hamster forever.” Oct. 7, 1990: “Well today has been the worst night of my life.” Little context is provided. An undated entry takes up seven pages. In all caps: “I HATE MATT AND MOM SOMETIMES.” My journaling picked up speed in the sixth grade when I had time during school to write, marking the beginning of my meticulous list-keeping phase. In an entry entitled “Ten Living Humans I would Like to Meet” from Oct. 28, 1992, my list — which includes Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary, the cast of Beverly Hills 90210 and “the lady in C&C Music Factory” — gives a glimpse of my priorities. I sign most entries “Leah the Great.” I start a trend of taking hard-line stances: I insist that Bill Clinton is “a FAKER” and that “people who drink are obnoxious, stupid, immature, ignorant, ugly jerks.” It’s also then that I get the most realistic glimpse into my teenage self: a boy-crazy, often-depressed, naive and self-obsessed girl trying to figure out who the hell she is. I shift from starting each entry “Dear Diary” to “Dear Journal.” My handwriting becomes loopier — sometimes in colored pen, sometimes all caps. I move past the

pink diary to a spiral-bound journal. I doodle the MTV logo in the margins. In one entry I just write the word “Skittles” 45 times — I know this because the number is at the bottom, circled. On one page I love a boy named Eric. On the next page it’s Joey. Then Chris, Aaron, Bryce, Andrew, Chad, Robin, Peter, in rapid succession. I also love Burger King, Pepsi, The Real World. I quote Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails and Portishead endlessly.

ometime in 1996 my musings become angsty, bratty. I’m mad at my parents and friends. I hate pretty girls and obsess about going to school dances. I hate school and my cat who continually throws up on my homework. I call girls I don’t like “whores.” I talk shit about my friends. Reading those entries today makes me feel bad for my parents. It isn’t until my senior year of high school that I start resembling an actual human being. My confusion and sadness drips off the page the day of the Columbine shooting — and again when a girl I know at another school kills herself. It’s around that time I talk about going to poetry readings at independent bookstores, serving dinner to homeless folks at a soup kitchen, reading Jack Kerouac. I drink a lot of coffee, crave independence. I have big, bold ideas. I’m sick of high school. My journals end abruptly on the drive to college. My handwriting is shaky and buzzing — I can actually see my excitement about my future on the page. And though part of me wishes I’d kept journals through my college days, through failed relationships and more jobs than most people have in a lifetime, I’m glad I stopped journaling. Instead of watching from the sidelines, I started living. But the little scribe with the pink diary and the big dorky glasses lives on: I may have stopped journaling, but I’ve never stopped writing. n leahs@inlander.com

allen duffy illustration

62 INLANDER APRIL 18, 2013

APRIL 18, 2013 INLANDER 63

l i r p A n i y a d s r u Every Th Starting April 1st Recieve one drawing ticket for every 500 points earned on machine play. April 4th • 11th • 18th | 1 – 7 pm 24 contestants receive $100 EPC and a turn to race their way into the grand drawing on the 25th. Contestants will race remote control cars.

April 25th • 7 pm A total of 16 contestants have their chance at $1,000 or the grand prize of $5,000 and $35,000 credit towards their dream car.* *Car must be from Dave Smith Auto.

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