A Marriage or a Wedding?

Leanne Smith - Civil Celebrant

Can you get legally married without having a wedding? Can you have a wedding without getting legally married? The answer is YES on both counts.

One of the things living with a pandemic has taught us is how many preconceived ideas we hold about getting married and what that is “supposed” to look like. While they are often used interchangeably in our modern world, the words “wedding” and “marriage” are in fact quite different in meaning. Put simply, the word “marriage” refers to the actual long-term relationship, while the word “wedding” refers to the celebration of two people uniting in marriage. An Aussie wedding typically lasts for a day, while a marriage is intended to last a lifetime. A wedding also has several additional components aside from the marriage ceremony itself, including the reception, honeymoon, bridal shower, wedding parties, and more.

Still confused? Consider the statement “Their marriage was a disaster”. The implication is that the couple was not happy in their life together and are probably now separated or divorced. However, the statement “Their wedding was a disaster“ implies that something happened during the wedding and that the ceremony or the reception did not go smoothly.

The couple can go on to have a long and happy marriage even after a disastrous wedding.

In a nutshell- The purpose of a marriage is to create a legally recognised relationship. The purpose of a wedding is to celebrate a marriage.

You can hold your wedding on the same day as your marriage takes place, or anytime afterwards

Placing the unpredictability of COVID restrictions aside, there are many other reasons a couple may choose to separate the two events, or even opt to have one or the other but not both. Delays with paperwork being received or lodged, changes to immigration timelines, unexpected new additions to the family, sudden illness in the family; if you think about what your own priorities are, you’ll soon work out what is going to work for you. It may be very important to you that your marriage takes place and is celebrated with a wedding on the same day. But there’s always the option of having the marriage take place now and then holding the wedding to celebrate when your life gets back to normal. Or having the wedding celebration now and following up with the legal marriage when the legal requirements have been met.

In Australia there are certain legal requirements which must be adhered to for a marriage to be legally recognised, you celebrant will be able to explain these in detail. But there are no legal requirements attached to a wedding.

You can hold your wedding on the same day as your marriage takes place, or anytime afterwards, or even beforehand if you want. Often the celebration will include a commitment or a betrothal ceremony, in place of the legal marriage ceremony. ​You’ll find heaps of ideas to help you with your plans on the resources page of my website www.leannesmith.com.au