ENTERTAINMENT QUIBBLER
A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love Potions? WRITTEN BY XBOXG4MER
I
s Celestina Warbeck an evil seductress who is only in it for the public attention and lust? Probably not, but what you don’t know might shock you!
For those of you who have been living in a pothole like a Red Cap, Celestina Warbeck is an internationally acclaimed Welsh singer. You may remember her hits You Charmed the Heart Right Out of Me and A Cauldron full of Hot, Strong Love, both on her hit album You Stole My Cauldron But You Can't Have My Heart.
Celestina has a history of passion, lust and divorce. An early marriage to a backing dancer lasted only a year, and she married her manager, with whom she has a son,
right after. Ten years later, she left him for the composer Irving Warble. We now believe that she is having an affair with none other than Myron Wagtail – the lead singer from the Weird Sisters! Where is our proof ? I hear your question, dear reader, and I have an answer. We have proof, but it’s super-secret and our sources would like to remain anonymous so as to avoid the wrath of the seductress herself. We assure you (and you can trust us) that it’s real. The evidence suggests, however, that Mrs Warbeck has been using love potions on both Irving and Myron Wagtail.
far as we know, she does not want you to know about her backdoor meetings with Mr Wagtail, explaining her kind public facade. Mrs Warbeck was openly opposed to ministry restrictions on how the wizarding Halloween celebrations, and she also garnered a lot of fame and attention for singing the Puddlemere United anthem, Beat those Bludgers Back Boys and Chuck that Quaffle here, to raise funds for St Mungo’s. Of course, we at The Quibbler know the truth. We are on to you Mrs Warbeck, and so too are our readers! This WILL be continued!
Why would she do such a thing? We believe that Mrs Warbeck does it to fulfil her “needs as a woman.” As 57