Volume 43, April Fool's Edition

Page 1

Fir st Ever Full Week: Alums Claim College Colossal Failure Star ts 'At College' Page 3 Page 10

Special Edition

Dining With: Tide Pods Page 12

Has Anyone Seen M y Chromebook? Page 15

ThE STuDeNt NewSpApER oF sT. JoE's pReP

Duncan Waite vs. John Cena Page 18

Apr il 1, 2018

(Photo: Vaccaro's )

M R. L EO VACCARO '05 CAUGHT EM BEZZL I NG HAWK EYE FUNDS

With the famed history teacher having fled the Prep, and with police on his tail, one can only assume where his schemes will take him next. Full story on Page 2.

Students For get to Char ge Chromebooks Ten Plagues of Egypt Soon to Come By David M cCabe '19

cess so far.

With the institution of the Chromebook 1:1 Initiative starting in the fall of 2015, some responsibilities came to the students that would accompany the privilege of having a semi-functioning laptop.

A daily responsibility of the Prep student was to have their Chromebook charged every day when he came to school. On the first day of school this year, every single Prepper actually had forgotten to charge their Chromebook. When Nate Aiken ?19 was asked why he did not charge his learning tool, he said ?Yeah, I lost my charger freshman year, so there?s really nothing I can do.?

One of these responsibilities was to take care of the ?computer? because it would be the same student's for all four years of their Prep career. In a prompt act of either civil disobedience or outright rage, students began mutilating their Chromebooks with the fervor of crazed apes. ?Chromies,? as they have been affectionately nicknamed, began flying off the mezzanine above the Kelly Fieldhouse even or snapped in half. So the initiative was a suc-

To address this problem, Dean of Students, Mr. Greene decided to call upon the ancient powers of the Jesuits who used to walk the halls of the Prep. He comments, ?The students need to realize that there will be consequences for their actions. (Continued on Page 5)

Once so unassuming and exciting, who could have foreseen the strife Chrome nation would cause?


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