The Dartmouth Mirror 02/05/16

MIRROR 2.5.2016

LETTER TO MY FRESHMAN SELF | 2

LAUGHING AND LINES | 4-5

HOW HOT IS HUMOR? | 7

MIRROR ASKS | 8 SHUOQI CHEN/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF

2// MIRROR

Editor’s Note

Letter to My Freshman Self COLUMN

By Mary Liza Hartong & Andrew Kingsley

Dear Freshman Beth, Just look at you. One hundred and fifteen pounds, coxswain for the rowing team, Merit Scholar, lead flautist in the marching band and still a natural blonde Hello, Mirror readers. Congratulations on making (wink). You can’t even imagine all of the it to the weekend and, more importantly, being half- interesting things awaiting you at Dartway done with 16W (we can barely believe it either). mouth. Happiness, agony, joy, surprise, This week, in an effort to bring some levity to a excitement, crippling doubt, first loves, campus overwrought with ever-present exams and HPV. The thrill of it all! Take a deep weirdly unseasonable) weather, Caroline and Hayley breath. Now move across the street from decided to theme The Mirror around humor. the SAE trash heap and take another While storyboarding the issue, Caroline and Hay- deep breath. That’s better. ley discussed their own perspectives and experiences Let’s start with classes. You’re taking with humor. Hayley modestly explained that she economics, engineering, and “Writing did stand-up comedy once, although she wouldn’t 5,” not to mention your pre-med aspiranecessarily call herself all that funny (she does have tions. Spoiler alert! You’re going to get tact, after all). Sheepishly, Caroline admitted that the straight C’s and drop those aspirations thought of being on a stage in any comedic capacity like the bass. Teehee! Blame it on the absolutely mortified her and was potentially her boogie! Your mom will say she’s “disapworst nightmare. pointed in you.” Translation: “I’m not Both of their friends often describe them as funny, paying for college anymore.” Whaddup, but they agree that that’s more due to a propensity student loans! Good thing you’ve got all for unfortunate (but humorous) circumstances to be- that economics knowledge under your fall them, than any intrinsic comedic ability. In their belt to help you manage your debt. What late nights at the office (have they mentioned that a smart cookie you are. Supply and dethey have a lot of late nights?), Caroline and Hayley mand, am I right? Who knew a mother’s like to destress by laughing. See, they’re just like love could be a limited resource? you. Before they get ahead of themselves, though, And what about your roommate situCaroline reminds Hayley that they edit the Friday ation? You’ve heard all the horror stories insert of The D — the section that is mostly likely — messy, loud, rude, smelly, etc. Don’t to physically fall, unread, right out of the newspaper worry, your roommate doesn’t have any and onto the floor. of these flaws. She’s so different! First of As Charlie Chaplin said, “Life is a tragedy when all, she doesn’t speak. To anyone. Ever. seen in close, but a comedy in long shot.” In that Well, unless she’s screaming bloody mursame vein, Hayley fondly recalled when Caroline der during sex, every weeknight at 12:30 once accidentally deleted an article and they both a.m. It’s like clockwork! Fret not, she will started hysterically laughing to cope with the imstill steal every piece of clothing you own mense stress of the situation. and every shred of dignity you once had.

This week, The Mirror runs the gamut of humor; Teehee! What a character, am I right? read about everything from politically correct comShe does take you to really cool parties, edy to how attractive humor is as a personal quality. though. By parties I mean séances. Dark, Enjoy the issue! wordless séances with screaming sex.

Hey, but what about your love life?

Remember how you left high school Alex on the curb hoping to find mature love in college? Instead you found follow @thedmirror Craig, Jessica, Dustin, Scooter, Tina and Biggie, who all broke your heart within the short span of pre-orientation. Good news: you’re still in love with Biggie — I mean who isn’t? — but you can never tell him because restraining orders are, sadly, legally binding. But at least the MIRROR EDITORS HAYLEY HOVERTER & Foco cookie baker gets you. He bakes CAROLINE BERENS you your own tray every Friday after a EDITOR-IN-CHIEF REBECCA ASOULIN rough week. Oh Charlie, my sweet baker, if only you weren’t 65 and buried under PUBLISHER RACHEL DECHIARA student loans. Charlie was also once EXECUTIVE EDITORS MAYA PODDAR pre-med.

ANNIE MA

OVERHEARDS

Alum: “Poor O’Malley. I mean, he’s such a good looking guy! How can he not be president?”

’16: “It’s okay, I’m having high quality sex with low quality people.”

But enough about other people. Yawn! Let’s get back to you, or should I say, back to vous! Get ready for your French LSA, where the smell of baguettes and the sound of your classmates only speaking English fill the air. Mona Lisa? More like, Mona Loser, because that’s what everyone will call you when you want to experience French culture. But don’t worry, you’ll see the sites!

You will fall off the Vespa of Raphael, the hunky Rutgers exchange student, under the Arc de Triomphe. Irony, huh?

And your host family, let’s just say the only events they host are, you guessed it, more séances.

What?! It’s already sophomore summer. No lines at Hinman or KAF and the weather is beautiful. This is the summer of taking chances. Flitzing your TA, nude modeling, a trip to the emergency room due to nude modeling — guess what: you’re allergic to charcoal! On the bright side, no chimney sweeping for you. But you know what is for you?

The farmer’s market. There you’ll find a tanned, sinewy farm hand. No, really, a hand, a real hand that was severed from a murdered farmer. The police think it was you. Forget your 12 because now you’re in front of 12 jurors who hate

PHOTO COURTESY OF MARY LIZA HARTONG

your Ivy League guts. Oh brother!

But wait, there’s more. Junior year’s a real knee slapper. You finally find yourself involved in a cheating scandal.

When Biggie hands you a clicker and asks you to click it, you just assume he’s finally in love with you, so you click it every class excessively. Turns out, Biggie’s not in love with you and you just helped him cheat. Say what? Say one term of probation, living at home under the burning glare of your mom. She’s thrilled to have you back! She’ll burn all the television clickers at home to let you know.

But now you’ve made it. Senior year.

You’ve learned a lot. The liberal arts treated you well. Knowing “troposphere” and “anaphora” will take you far. Especially since you have a great job with Teach for America teaching physical education to kindergartners in Alaska.

Vox clamantis en deserto, am I right?

One voice crying out incessantly for four years in the wilderness and continuing to cry in the wilderness of adulthood.

Love, Me P.S. Take off that goddamn lanyard.

’16 #1: “Everyone who studied philosophy is a f****boy. It’s just a bunch of straight white guys talking.” ’16 #2: “Well, I can’t tell if my professor is straight, but he’s definitely a f****boy.”

Female ’17: “My entire life is one long walk of shame.”

’18: “It must be a personality type thing. I’m an ENFJ, she’s a B-*-*-*-*.”

’18: “Have you noticed the improvement to my posture? It’s because I lead with my pelvis.”

//3

Joe Kind: A Guy COLUMN

TRENDING @ Dartmouth

By Joe Kind

PUDDLES

The snow sculpture theme is environmental destruction

LAUNDRY

After midterms.

Dear Governor Bush (or should I call you Jeb?) (or should I really just call you Jeb!), Thank you so much for coming to Hanover this week for a town hall meeting. You made an impression on me and a hundred other audience members that evening in the Hanover Inn ballroom. The last time I had set foot in that room was for my friend’s sorority’s formal. The space had a much different vibe then. I was thrilled to see all the lights and the cameras up close and in person for the first time.

Even the way the chairs were spaced, to create slightly curled rows and corridors for people to walk through like a community center or church — your event coordinators did a great job. I was so pleased to have a seat right under one of your large banners. I forget what the words said exactly, but it was something articulate and interesting, I am sure. I sent several Snapchats from the event to my parents before you began speaking — some of them selfies with this banner, and some video panoramas of the room — and my dad tried to save the photos and replayed every single video. Each video was a good ten seconds long, too. You can imagine how popular I felt while my phone was buzzing. You can also imagine how quickly the feeling of popularity slid away. Popularity is an elusive son of a gun, wouldn’t you say?

Now I worry a bit about how that joke comes off, but your remarks truthfully were so impressive and honest that I feel like you can take it. I really do. Like when you ascribed the lights going out every now and again to the discussion of Obamacare and all its problems. LOL! The whole room was genuinely laughing with you. And there was that other time when you began to explain the concept of a balanced budget using your arms for the geology students in the room — I think it was

one of those “you had to be there” moments for people to really appreciate the wit.

Those pesky earth sciences and English graduate students really were something, weren’t they? I don’t know where they came from, either. Their questions were tough! You handled them very well, honestly. It was neat to see how much time you dedicated to questions in the first place. Most of the night consisted of you answering questions — you were not afraid to get in-depth with us, even though it was your fourth town hall meeting of the day. You must have been tired, but you never once sat down the entire night! I don’t know how you did it. You really ran through the entire gamut, taking questions from schoolteachers, small business owners, homeowners, mothers and veterans — plus Dartmouth undergraduate and graduate students and even an anthropology professor. No one held back, not even you. The event was spectacular.

I knew I was going to be treated to a show from the moment the two young elementary school girls began reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. They were mic’d up and ready to go, those talented little things. Nowhere near as over-the-top as those Trump girls. They did great. It was a great reminder to know we still got it after all these years.

The two girls really did set the mood, and I think you fed off of their energy well. Your opening remarks might have been my favorite part of the entire evening. You got off to a terrific start that evening. I am not kidding when I say that. I filmed the last three minutes of it on my iPhone; I was that millennial in the left-hand corner of your eye on his iPhone all night long. I had friends to live-tweet at, what can I say. As soon as I am done writing this I plan to post the clip on YouTube. I think it has a shot at going viral. You really did sound like a president. I cannot say my film-

ing skills are anything to brag about, but I assume one of the five or six filmmakers there got something good if I did not. My friends do make fun of me for taking poor-quality photos and videos.

When I came to Dartmouth three years ago, I did not know I was going to take so many classes about American politics. I have always found it important to stay updated on current events, and the presidential primaries have never counted as an exception to this rule.

But one class led to another, and now I am graduating in a few short months with a bachelor’s degree in government.

I am from San Francisco where politics are ingrained heavily into every-day conversations. People in my communities care a lot about local, state and national politics. But political debates, at least amongst those surrounding me, were pretty one-sided. A long-running joke at my independent high school was that it was a bigger deal to come out as a Republican than it was to come out as gay or lesbian. How’s that for San Francisco? You can surmise, then, how few conservative voices I heard growing up, let alone voices of conservative presidential candidates.

Your town hall meeting was a gift, Governor Bush. A gift that I had been waiting for since my first year here.

Dartmouth’s location in a politicallyminded community was part of my reasoning for choosing this school. I really did learn a lot from what you had to say, and I will continue to follow your campaign. The New Hampshire primary is this coming Tuesday, and as a more informed member of society able to vote as a New Hampshire citizen (pretty cool, yeah?), I cannot wait. Best of luck to you, Jeb! Time to go upload that opening speech of yours.

Sincerely, Joe Kind, a Guy

FLITZES

No time like semi season to get your flirt on.

Pre-emptive Homework

Winter (Carnival) is coming!

Avoiding Eye Contact/ Not Talking About Politics

4// MIRROR

Laughter and lines in comedy at Dartmouth STORY

By Carolyn Zhou

Members of an improv group stand performing at a homeless shelter in the Dartmouth students with similar perspecthat are humorous. on the first floor of a fraternity, doing a Upper Valley,” Klein said. “In the former tives to the authors in the publication, “In improv, I have found that the goal humorous skit. The case, our humor might be described as Zwetchkenbaum said that there were is not really to make audience members more uninhibited than in the latter.” no incidents that he could think of with jokes, but to create “Improv is dangerous are visibly enterHe said this is often due to audience regard to backlash from an audience. a realistic, grounded because you’re at the tained, smiling and reactions, which improv groups must asHe said that, conversely, there are more world with your scene laughing. Suddenly, risks with making jokes in improv shows. mercy of your own mind, partner, and once you sess in order to determine what kind of caught up in the humor to use.

He said this is due to it’s improvisational have done that, the you need to sort of trust moment, a mem“Above all, we try not to pander to nature — people can’t think through their jokes — or to put it your subconscious to get ber of the improv audiences, but we definitely feed off of jokes very thoroughly before they say simply, unexpected group makes a joke and reflect the unique energy each crowd them. breaks from reality the jokes out. You don’t that some might gives off during a show,” Klein said.

“Improv is dangerous because you’re — follow suit,” Klein always have complete consider offensive In terms of the existence of Dartat the mercy of your own mind, you need said. “By definition, or politically incormouth-specific humor, he was hesitant of to sort of trust your subconscious to get improv doesn’t require control of that.” rect. The audience the jokes out,” he said. “You don’t always any forethought or tra- generalizing humor preferences for the members’ expresentire student body. have complete control of that.” ditional rehearsing.”

- DREW sions turn to ones Zwetchkenbaum had a different view, He said members are at the mercy of Emily Everhard ’18 of discomfort and saying that there is a specific kind of audience members, who can sometimes , a member of Dog ]ZWETCHKENBAUM ‘16, distaste, some lethumor for Dartmouth students, which is be sensitive about what they find offenDay, said she simply JACK-O-LANTERN CO-EDITOR ting out nervous somewhat more diverse than that at other sive. draws inspiration laughter and others colleges.

“The audience has the right to be offrom daily life and her AND CASUAL THURSDAY whispering to their “Dartmouth students have a different fended by anything they want,” Zwetcheveryday interactions PRESIDENT friends. Other kind of humor compared to the general kenbaum said. “Anyone has the right to with both friends and members of the U.S. population,” Zwetchkenbaum said. take offence at whatever.” strangers. She said this improv group con“For example, He found humor to be a double edged tinue on, glossing over the awkward and at times, it’s sword. When used effectively, though, he engenders height“There are two types of tense moment. probably more explained that it can really help others. ened awareness limitations on what kind Humor comes in many forms and intellectual. Dart“Humor can bring up victims because about her surof jokes we can make. from a variety of people. Sometimes humouth has a mix it can bring down oppressors,” he said. roundings. mor serves an everyday purpose, to cure of satirical and “There’s a lot of status involved, so it’s “Being in First, just like any creative boredom. Other times, it can be used free form humor. unwise to poke fun at victims, that’s kind improv makes you endeavor, our final product Some schools as a political tool, to criticize oppressive of like cheating. It’s not using the status more aware of the regimes. However, who is able to judge only have satirical inherent in comedy effectively.” world,” Everhard will only be as diverse as what is humorous and what is not? Can publications.”

Jacob Savos ’16 , president of the said. the range of experiences humor veer on being offensive — or is ZwetchkenJack-O-Lantern, agreed with his co-editor Drew Zwetcheach improviser brings to the very purpose of humor that nothing baum said that Zwetchkenbaum. He said that although kenbaum ’16 , is offensive? there are a couple the Jack-O-Lantern had never faced any co-editor of the the stage. Therefore, it No matter the medium, author or of limitations in major backlash for publishing offensive satirical campus is a major priority of Dog subject, humor serves to connect us all, comedy in gencontent, he explained that if students magazine the Jackand here at Dartmouth we have access to eral, but how it’s took issue with what an article said, the O-Lantern, and Day to recruit members a wide variety of humor. The most wellreceived depends editors would take it seriously and represident of Casual of various styles of humor known and popular form here is probably Thursday, agreed largely on how evaluate the article’s content. and backgrounds into the improvisational comedy groups. it’s delivered.

With regard to improv comedy, Klein with Schneider, Walker Schneider ’19 , a member of “You can brought up a similar kind of cautiousness.

Klein and Everhard group, and there will always the long form improv group Dog Day, make a joke He described two types of limitations that about the origin be work to be done on this explained the differences between long about whatever improv groups face, the first being that and inspiration for form and short form improv. He said the you want, but you members need to have diverse comedic humor. He also refront.” main difference is the length of time and are at the mercy backgrounds and styles. marked that everythe depth of the skit. of your audience, “There are two types of limitations thing and anything - TERREN KLEIN ’17, DOG DAY “Short form is about quick witted have to be willing on what kind of jokes we can make,” can be turned into humor,” Schneider said. “The members to accept whatKlein said. “First, just like any creative a joke.

MEMBER play a two minute game, and the game ever the response endeavor, our final product will only be as However, these facilitates the humor. In contrast, long is,” he said. “You diverse as the range of experiences each students all agreed form improv is about building a scene, can make smart, improviser brings to the stage. Therethat there are usually with only two people performtasteful jokes about just about anything, fore, it is a major priority of Dog Day to certain limitations on what they can or ing at a time. Thus, jokes take longer to as long as you frame it in the right way. recruit members with various styles of cannot joke about. develop.”

It’s all about the execuhumor and backKlein explained that sometimes they At Dartmouth, Dog Day contrasts tion.” grounds into the have to somewhat adjust their jokes “There’s no distinction with Casual Thursday, which is a short However, Zwetchkengroup, and there and style of humor to their audiences, line, like, ‘You can’t form improv group. Schneider jokingly baum did concede that will always be work although this shift might not always be spoke to a low-level rivalry between the there are some sensitive to be done on this deliberate. swear, you can’t make two groups before describing his personal topics that comics tend to front.”

“The adjustment probably occurs on jokes about misogyny,’ process for preparing for shows. He said stay away from, unless for The second a subconscious level if anything,” Klein but generally we he tries to go in with absolutely no plans the shock value. limitation, he exsaid. “As a group, we try not to make any in mind.

“There are touchy plained, is imposed real life references in our shows so that follow the norms of “Before performing, I actually try to subjects, which some externally by what our humor can be understood by anyconvsersation.” clear out my mind,” Schenider said. “I people like to make jokes is politically corone.” want to avoid going into the show with about, but it’s more for rect. He said this However, he noted since their audiany pre-existing ideas.” the shock value, it’s not type of debate is ences can vary so significantly, some - WALKER SCHNEIDER ’19, Terren Klein ’17 , also a member of necessarily smart comnot uncommon on adjustment is inevitable — and even DOG DAY MEMBER Dog Day, explained that this is typical of edy or good comedy,” college campuses. necessary. improv techniques. It’s not a prepared coZwetchkenbaum said.

“The second “With that being said, there is medic skit, Klein said, but an attempt to Since the Jack-O-Lankind of limitation certainly a difference between performspontaneously portray realistic situations tern has an audience made up of mostly is externally imposed by the culture of ing in front of a buzzed KDE crowd and

MIRROR //5

our campus,” Klein said. “Not to regurgitate the remarks of certain comedians, like Seinfeld or Chris Rock, regarding the PC culture at campuses around the country, but I definitely agree with the overall sentiment that there is a problem with how comedy is being received today on campuses.”

Klein explained a simple measure to assess whether or not as joke is appropriate.

“If a joke concerning a particularly controversial topic evokes laughter at the

expense of the victim and ignores the perpetrator, then the joke is probably a bad one,” Klein said.

Schneider explained a similar rule of thumb, noting that he tries to refrain from using excessive profanity.

“There are some lines you don’t want to cross. You don’t want to rely on shock value for laughter,” Schneider said. “For example, relying on dropping a bunch of f-bombs isn’t really high end comedy.”

Dog Day relies on “staying grounded” and starting out with something more normal or out of daily life, then becoming increasingly absurd and ridiculous.

“There’s no distinct line, like, ‘You can’t swear, you can’t make jokes about misogyny,’ but generally we follow the norms of conversation,” Schenider said.

He said the only criticism he has received was not from an audience member but was from an older member of his

comedy group, advising him against using profanity.

She told him not to use offensive language as a “crutch” for his jokes.

Overall, the students had difficulty deciding on a specific line to draw when it comes to making jokes.

“There’s a lot of bad stuff that happens in the world, and humor can be a great way to contextualize and criticize it,” Zwetchkenbaum said.

SHUOQI CHEN/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF

6// MIRROR

Sam’s Little Larks

COLUMN

By Sam Van Wetter

On the hot pursuit of a lost bike, ADVENTUROUSAM and DITHER SAM have enlisted the help of DEREK THE SEXY CUSTODIAN. He leads them down some stairs they didn’t know existed.

DITHER SAM: Where are we going?

ADVENTUROUSAM: I’ve never been down here before.

DITHER: I think there’s a reason for that.

DEREK THE SEXY CUSTODIAN: You don’t have the keys to go down there.

DITHER: I think there’s a reason for that.

ADVENTUROUSAM: It’ll be fine.

DITHER: How do you know?

ADVENTUROUSAM: I think that it’s within the realm of likelihood that we’ll be fine.

DITHER: I’d like to stay in the realm of definitely.

DEREK: I’ve never been there.

They arrive at a large door.

DITHER/ADVENTUROUSAM (simultaneously): What’s this?

DITHER: Are we allowed in?

ADVENTUROUSAM: Do you have keys?

DEREK: Not exactly.

ADVENTUROUSAM: How do you get in?

DEREK: How do I get in?

ADVENTUROUSAM: Or how do I get in?

DEREK: Which one?

ADVENTUROUSAM: Uh, how do YOU get in?

DEREK: I just open the door.

ADVENTUROUSAM: So can I, uh, open it, too?

DEREK: You can try.

DITHER: Don’t, Sam! It’s a trap.

ADVENTUROUSAM: It’s gonna be fine, Sam. It’s just a door.

DITHER: It’s more than a door. It’s a trap.

ADVENTUROUSAM: A trapdoor?

DITHER: Of sorts.

ADVENTUROUSAM: How would it be a trap? Or a trapdoor? Or both?

DITHER: I don’t know. It might be, like, electrified or noxious or maybe there are bees or a whole sea of molasses that the door is barely containing.

ADVENTUROUSAM: Might be.

DEREK: Certainly might. Or, it could be

nothing at all.

ADVENTUROUSAM: Worth a shot, though.

DEREK: Probably is.

ADVENTUROUSAM slowly approaches the door. It has a massive knob in the shape of the Dartmoose, its mouth spread wide.

ADVENTUROUSAM tentatively tugs on its antlers. He touches its eyes, forehead. He feels its cold, hard nose.

DEREK: Are you gonna give it a face massage or are you gonna open the door?

ADVENTUROUSAM: I’m trying.

DEREK: Maybe it’s hungry.

DITHER: Hungry!?

ADVENTUROUSAM: Dartmoose. It might be hungry...

ADVENTUROUSAM slowly puts his hand past the carven teeth and into the moose’s jaw.

DITHER: Be careful!

Suddenly, his hand is pulled into the knob.

ADVENTUROUSAM: Hey —— DEREK: Relax.

ADVENTUROUSAM: Relax?! How can I relax?!

DEREK: It’s just a taste —— The moose’s expression becomes one of satisfaction. It blinks twice and then releases ADVENTUROUSAM’s hand. Quietly, momentously, the door opens. DEREK immediately enters.

DITHER: What is this place?

DEREK: Come on, let me find the lights.

ADVENTUROUSAM: No bees. No molasses either.

DITHER: Not yet! Don’t go in!

ADVENTUROUSAM: What’s the worst that could happen if I go in?

DEREK: One sec, I just gotta —— Suddenly, the room is flooded with light.

They stand in the doorway, blinking. They are in a cavernous room piled high with dorm items: rugs, plastic storage contain-

ers, single shoes, towels, bed risers, shower caddies, refrigerators, posters, sleeping bags, notebooks, textbooks and various scattered skis, lacrosse sticks, ice skates, Frisbees, squash rackets and climbing ropes.

The enormous space is lit by desk lamps, Walmart lamps and strings of Christmas lights buried and tangled in the assemblage.

DEREK has just plugged a massive extension cord into the wall.

DITHER: What is this place?

DEREK: The room of retirement.

ADVENTUROUSAM: Like the room of require —— DEREK: Sort of but no. That room, first of all, is fictional, but also somehow changes every time someone opens the door. That’s impossible. This is just where we store all your stuff.

DITHER: Our stuff?

DEREK: Students’ stuff. The stuff they leave behind when they go home for breaks, when finals take more time than they think and Hinman runs out of moving boxes and your mom is gonna be here in ten minutes to pick you up.

DITHER: All of this? Has been abandoned?

DEREK: Abandoned, forgotten, misplaced or lost or just ignored. We retire it, in the room of retirement.

DITHER: Do you find good stuff?

DEREK: Depends on what you mean by good.

DITHER: Expensive stuff?

ADVENTUROUSAM: Snacks?

DEREK: We get the occasional passport, which we return to the student or sell on the blackmarket to Canadians. For food, it’s usually Cabot, Annies’s Mac or the last remains of dorm cereal. Lots of coins. Lots of socks.

A bunch of Dartmouth IDs. And I’ve found a few coyote pelts.

ADVENTUROUSAM: Coyote pelts?

DITHER: A few?

DEREK: Yeah, the jacket kind. What do you guys call them? Canada Gooses?

ADVENTUROUSAM: Wow. DEREK: Yeah, I can think of ten places I’d rather have coyote fur than around my face.

DITHER (pointing): Are those liquor bottles?

DEREK: Yeah, we call it the trophy pyramid.

ADVENTUROUSAM: Why? DEREK: It used to be really really cool to have a big shelf of empty liquor bottles to show everyone that you drink excessively but MDF made it not cool any more.

ADVENTUROUSAM: Oh, wow. That does sound really cool.

DEREK: So cool.

ADVENTUROUSAM: Wait, where’s my watch?

DITHER: Did you take it off again?

ADVENTUROUSAM: I don’t think so.

DEREK: The moose has it.

ADVENTUROUSAM: What?

DEREK: You think you got in for free?

There’s an admission fee for this room.

ADVENTUROUSAM: I didn’t give ­­—— DEREK: Of course you didn’t, but he took it.

DITHER: Where’d it go?

DEREK gestures to the piles of abandoned things.

DEREK: It retired, probably. Wanna look?

ADVENTUROUSAM: Not really.

DEREK: That’s fine. It’ll have a fine life here. Time is a little different in this room.

Moves slowly. Or quickly. It moves. Your watch will learn new things about itself.

DITHER: It could be anywhere.

DEREK: That’s kind of the idea. Once things get retired they tend not to come back into action.

ADVENTUROUSAM: What about my bike?

DEREK: Like I said: they tend not to come back, but it’s worth trying. There’s a lot of stuff in here.

DITHER: This will take forever.

DEREK: How badly do you want to find it?

ADVENTUROUSAM: So badly.

DEREK: Why do you want it so badly?

ADVENTUROUSAM: Honestly I’ve forgotten but it’s the only thing propelling this column forward...

DEREK: So? DITHER: So I guess we better start looking.

To be haphazardly continued.

MIRROR //7

How Hot is Humor?

STORY

By Lucy Li

Humor me, Dartmouth, would you?

“It’s easier to break the ice,” Cervenka Imagine that you’re sitting in your 2A said. “First dates are way less awkward if class on a Tuesday afternoon and the professomeone is humorous.” sor has been lecturing for the past hour. As Because there seems to be a universal you look around the room, some students are agreement that a sense of humor is an starting to doze off, others are aggressively attractive quality to have, there must be a taking notes and a few people are eagerly biological, evolutionary reason why we find asking convoluted questions that elicit vague humor to be an appealing quality in others. answers from the professor.

This made me wonder — is there someAcross the room, you make eye contact thing evolutionarily adaptive about humor? with a gorgeous guy or Over time, have our girl who caught your eye unfunny predecessors “A sense of humor the very first day of class. simply died out beYou’ve exchanged a few cause they weren’t able definitely starts an “hi’s”and “how are you’s” to woo a mate with a attraction but I don’t outside of the class, and the knock-knock joke? physical attraction is there, Mackin responded think it can really but there isn’t much more affirmatively, explainsustain it. It would than that. ing that humor plays probably be a However, to your right is a role in alleviating the guy or girl who you’ve social conflict as it difbeginning stepping been sitting next to in class fuses negativity. stone to other feelings for the last four weeks. “[Humor] changes funny and what is not.

When they sat next to you the terms for thinking and qualities.”

“Humor can be dangerous because it the first day of class you about social conflict,” relies upon [an] agreement between the weren’t dazzled right away, she said. “By making teller and the listener,” she said. “Without - AAMUKTHA PORIKA ’19 but then the two of you us feel better about a some shared values, intended humor could started talking and you realparticular conflict, the backfire and alienate the listener.” ized that they always keep joker attains a kind of Mackin added, though, that this can you smiling and laughing. They whisper power — thus attraction — by sharing that sometimes better indicate how well you get jokes and witty remarks in your ear during power over situations that along with someone, lectures and you have to cover your face to we otherwise find uncomand can play a huge “Jokes tell the truth keep from getting caught laughing aloud. fortable.” part in creating atYou have the same sense of humor and you Perhaps for this reason, about people. It’s traction and chemfeel like you’re always on the same page. Or people seem to naturally istry between two difficult to hide a mean at least you always find yourself making fun gravitate away from awkpeople. If two people of the same page of your textbook and elward, uncomfortable or spirit or kindness or share a similar sense bowing one another. You even begin to look tense social situations and of humor, Mackin forward to your 2A now. towards humorous and light- intelligence with humor that can suggest Who would you flitz? The gorgeous one hearted settings. because jokes…do social said, they have a lot in who dazzled you with their looks, or the Simone Schmid ’17 work by revealing the common. charismatic one who dazzled you with huagreed that this is what “I would say that mor? Personally, I would choose the second makes humor an attractive joker’s attitudes and the way humor works one — I’d rather walk into a date knowing quality — that people prefer attributes in to recruit agreement that I might be able to ward off the awkward to spend time with those and promote alliances nervousness with laughter. You’re almost who put them in a good unintended ways, and can be very attractive, guaranteed to have a good time. mood. more attractive than Most people put humor pretty high on “Humor makes situations the same is true with other social judgments their list of characteristics that they look for less serious,” Schmid said. the person who laughs like appearance,” she in a romantic partner, so there seems to be a “Everyone wants to have a at the joke.” said. rather universal consensus that being funny good time, so humor helps Most of us can’t is attractive. This begs the question — why to lighten the situation.” deny that physical are we attracted to funny people?

Cervenka expressed a - WRITING PROFESSOR appearances definitely Perhaps the answer is simple. As psycholsimilar sentiment, explaining play role in determinJONNA MACKIN ogy professor Todd Heatherton told me, that the lighthearted nature ing our attraction humor takes us on the road to happiness. of humor is what draws him towards others. This “People like to be happy, so they like to to humorous people. doesn’t make us shalbe around people who make them happy,” “It’s easier to have a good low; it makes us human.

Heatherton said. time with people who have a good sense of It made me wonder — beyond physiInstitute for writing and rhetoric profeshumor, and you don’t have to worry about cal appearance and humor, what are other sor Jonna Mackin , who teaches a class on offending them all the time,” he said. qualities do we find appealing in others? comedy, said that we are drawn to humor Sometimes it is hard to tell how far you Aamuktha Porika ’19 said that in addibecause of its ability to make us feel comfort- can joke around with someone. Cervenka tion to a sense of humor, compassion and able in social situations. raised a good point — ­­ we can tease and kindness are attractive qualities.

“One reason we are attracted to funny poke fun at funny people knowing that they Schmid said she appreciates personability, people is because they make us feel better won’t take offense to it. Plus, nothing sparks kindness and loyalty in others. about social conflict,” Mackin said. “Whata romantic flame like flirtatious banter.

Cervenka said that for him, humor is ever anxiety we might be feeling — about People who can throw some gentle heat at definitely one of the most attractive characthe presidential election or about a first date each other with no hard feelings usually teristics someone can have, for the qualities — just laughing at a joke will make us feel form a successful flirtationship that can posthat it often entails. good.” sibly lead to more.

“I like outgoing people just because it’s From a student’s perspective, Nick CerHowever, Mackin remarked that humoreasier to have conversations with them,” venka ’19 agrees that humor can alleviate ous flirtation is not always successful, as Cervenka said. “It’s less small talk, and our social anxiety. people have differing opinions on what is

PHOTO COURTESY OF DR. JONNA MACKIN

I very much hate small talk. And loyalty, which takes longer to get to know in someone.”

How does humor compare to other attractive features?

Porika believes that humor can spark an interest, but might not necessarily be able to keep the flame burning.

“A sense of humor definitely starts an attraction but I don’t think it can really sustain it,” she said. “It would probably be a beginning stepping stone to other feelings and qualities.”

Schmid agrees that humor can’t tell us everything that we need to know about a person.

“It doesn’t describe the deepest characteristics,” she said. “I wouldn’t say that a person has to be funny, but I do enjoy being around someone who’s lighthearted and willing to crack jokes about themselves or others.”

Humor itself may not be the secret to understanding another person enough to sustain a long-lasting attraction or relationship, but it certainly provides a looking glass into a person’s more telling characteristics. Mackin believes that a person’s sense of humor can be reflective of other personal qualities.

“Jokes tell the truth about people,” she said. “It’s difficult to hide a mean spirit or kindness or intelligence with humor because jokes do social work by revealing the joker’s attitudes and attributes in unintended ways, and the same is true with the person who laughs at the joke.”

Likewise, Heatherton agrees that a sense of humor is often an indicator of other qualities.

“People are especially attracted to people who are warm, honest, truthful, trustworthy and intelligent,” he said. “People who are funny probably check the boxes for warmth and intelligence.”

We may simply be attracted to funny people because they already fit the other characteristics that we are attracted to.

Perhaps Cervenka sums up the most selfexplanatory reason why for him, and for so many of us, humor is so attractive.

“It’s good to laugh,” he said.

8// MIRROR

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Mirror Asks: The Humor Edition The Mirror staff shares their funniest moments, corny jokes and more.

Three members of Casual Thursday, one of the College’s improvisational comedy groups, perform a humorous skit for audience members.

1.What’s your funniest memory at Dartmouth?

Charlotte Beever ’17: All of the Berlin LSA. Caroline Berens ’18: When I was trying to soften a Pop-Tart in the Fahey-McClane fourth floor kitchen, and I accidentally set the microwave to two minutes instead of twenty seconds. Within a minute the microwave, and then the entire kitchen, were engulfed in smoke, and I spent the rest of the night airing it out so the fire alarm didn’t go off. It wasn’t funny at the time, but it was the next day.

Abbey Cahill ’18: Discovering [the Instagram] @fruitofthefoco.

Mary Liza Hartong ’16: Over sophomore summer, Casual Thursday decided do hold one practice on the river. We rented kayaks and canoes and did improv while we paddled. Needless to say, much more capsizing, pretending to be sharks and splashing happened than any actual comedy.

Luke McCann ’16: Once during a Dog Day rehearsal my freshman year, one of the ’13s did an entire scene about a person who has spoons for hands. I still laugh about it three years later. You had to be there.

Parker Richards ’18: My friend joked she was just with her boyfriend until she met a hot football player.

Carolyn Zhou ’19: I have a friend who is the absolute worst with names. Even though she’s known some of my friends for months now, she still calls them the wrong name occasionally. The other week, she went to see Bill Clinton at the Hop. After she went, she was like, “I saw George Clinton,” and didn’t realize that she had messed up the name of a former president and someone she had waited in line to see. And that made me crack up.

Hayley Hoverter ’17: This was technically off-campus, but I once went to a charcoal farm (only at Dartmouth) and the guy was talking up how important his kiln was to making charcoal. With perfect comedic

timing, right as he said that and we were admiring the kiln, the farmer’s dog ran up to the kiln and peed on it.

2. Who’s the funniest person you know? Why? Charlotte Beever ’17: Probably a tie between my mom and my best friend from high school. They’re just hilarious and can totally make me laugh so hard I cry and/or pee my pants.

Caroline Berens ’18: My ninth grade high school English teacher Mr. Mikalaitis was very funny. He was one of those people who was (is) naturally gifted at making other people laugh, and it always seems utterly effortless.

Parker Richards ’18: My uncle’s college roommate, Bill. He’s beyond hilarious and now hosts his own cooking show and writes cookbooks.

Mary Liza Hartong ’16: My uncle is the funniest person I know. He’s an actor and he does a lot of bizarre commercials and mini-series so he has great stories and impressions of people. He’s got the type of story telling pizazz that can make any experience funny.

Luke McCann ’16: My grandmother, without a doubt. She’s this tiny little Irish woman who occasionally has one or two drinks too many. She has absolutely no filter and nothing is off limits. I think she’d be an outrageous stand-up comedian.

Hayley Hoverter ’17: I’m a firm believer that people are funnier when they’re not deliberately trying to make you laugh. My grandfather once went to a party with his shirt on inside out and backwards, so I’ll give it to him.

3. What was the hardest you’ve ever laughed?

Charlotte Beever ’17: I was in a class that had an interesting mix of students and a pretty laid-back prof. I forget why but at one point some students decided to get up and reenact a fight scene from a play we were reading, and I had kind of been spacing out, so I totally had no idea what

was going on, and the professor just kind of went with it and let it happen. I was also with a really funny friend who kept making commentary and the fact that I knew I shouldn’t laugh made it harder not to laugh, so eventually I just lost it and had to run outside and just laugh/cry.

Abbey Cahill ’18: When my friend’s ENTIRE bathing suit came flying off on the banana tube in the ocean, and the boat kept pulling her.

Mary Liza Hartong ’16: Freshman year my friend and I were going to watch another friend perform some a cappella in the snow around the Life Sciences Center.

It took us about 30 minutes to walk from the River Cluster to the LSC, and we joked about weasels the whole time. I still laugh thinking about those stinking weasels with bad tails.

Luke McCann ’16: I’ve never laughed so hard that I pissed myself, but I envy people who have. Like, that is literally so funny in itself.

Parker Richards ’18: Whenever I make my “That’s so intense [in tents] it’s in yurts” joke and no one ever gets it.

Hayley Hoverter ’17: In high school, I went to an SAT information session and the guy hosting it walked into a folding chair in the middle of his presentation.

He kept tripping and catching himself over and over again. We didn’t want to embarrass him anymore, so we all had to watch helplessly from our seats. Everyone was trying to stay quiet to be nice, which made it even funnier.

TIFFANY ZHAI/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF

Mary Liza Hartong ’16: What do you call a jedi who delivers babies? Obi-G-Y-NKenobi.

Luke McCann ’16: How do you know your one-night stand is voting for Bernie?

You start to feel the bern (I just made this up is it even funny?).

Leina McDermott ’19: My grade on the Chem 5 midterm. Haha.

Parker Richards ’18: This water is what happens when you lightly toast Mark Hamill. Because it’s Lukewarm.

Hayley Hoverter ’17: Life is like a box of chocolates. I don’t have a box of chocolates.

5. If you could describe Dartmouth’s sense of humor in a sentence or two, what would you say about it?

Charlotte Beever ’17: Is there a Dartmouth sense of humor?

Abbey Cahill ’18: Very witty, and sometimes more punny than I would like it to be, especially people’s Instagram captions.

Mary Liza Hartong ’16: We’re vulnerable and many of us show that through humor.

Parker Richards ’18: It’s highly sensitive, averse to potentially offensive jokes, and utterly devoid of a sense of satire.

Luke McCann ’16: This entire school is a joke.

4. Tell us a joke (it can be cheesy!!!)

Leina McDermott ’19: Based on Yik Yak, I think Dartmouth’s sense of humor can be pretty savage but also accurate and hilarious.

Charlotte Beever ’17: When I was really little I read some book that had the joke “Waiter, there is a fly in my soup” and it killed me. I told everyone I met that joke for a year. I also liked telling my dad “You’re not my dad!” and laughing and running away because he’s really uptight.

Carolyn Zhou ’19: Dry, witty, semi-intellectual humor. I wouldn’t be the best person to ask because I actually haven’t been to any comedy shows yet, but I’d assume our humor is like that of any young adult’s — semi-inappropriate sometimes, sometimes satirical, very sarcastic.

Caroline Berens ’18: My grandfather frequently says this joke to me because I’m so tall: “If you fall down, you’d be halfway home.”

Hayley Hoverter ’17: Definitely a lot more neurotic and self-deprecating than I expected coming into the school. Otherwise, very dry.