Diva magazine issue 9

EMPOWERED TO INSPIRE

What does

Liberation:

4th July

Women in Combat Reference Etiquette

mean to you?

Pre-Natal Care: using massage therapy to relieve stress

Kwita Izina 2013 Community Projects COVER STORY

July - September 2013

Nyirakaragire

Elizabeth

Body Image

Uniquely Crafted

Rwanda Women parliamentarians Forum Issue No. 09

FREE COPY

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CONTENTS PUBLISHER FALCON G. NDIRIMA EDITOR Lillian M. Ndrima

CONTRIBUTORS ANN ANJAO ATHAN TASHOBYA CLAIRE ADUVUKA EFUA HAGAN FRED NKUSI IZELA BARLOW JESSE KIMANI JOCELYN WALMSLEY JELSMA PATRICIA KAMIKAZI

06

He whom the Son sets free is free indeed

08

What does 4th July mean to you?

10

Kwita Izina 2013

12

Kwita Izina: Community Projects

15

Brave Mukakanyana Odetta

17

Cover Story: Nyirakaragire Elizabeth

22

Women in Combat: Rt. Capt Dafrose Intaramirwa

25

Rwanda Women Parliamentary Forum

28

SONARWA’S Allen Karungi

SALES & MARKETING

30

Is Monogamy a Myth?

GLANCE MEDIA LTD

32

Can Conjugal Rights be Latitude to commit marital rape?

34

The Mint Condition

36

Keratoconus: A rare eye disease

38

Depression

40

Pre-Natal Care

44

Make your small room appear bigger

47

The Power of Giving

50

The Casserole

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P. O. Box 4665 Kigali, Centenary House, 2nd Floor, Kigali - Rwanda

www.thedivamagazine-rw.com

All rights reserved. Production is whole or in part without written permission is strictly prohibited. The name The DIVA is a registered trademark of Glance Media Ltd. Liberty; while every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine the publishers cannot be held responsible for the accuracy of information herein or any consequences arising from it.

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editor’s note The 9th issue of The Diva is dedicated to celebrating nature, especially with regard to the annual gorilla naming ceremony: Kwita Izina. In a colourful ceremony held on June 22 at Kinigi in Musanze District, 12 gorilla births were celebrated, with a new family being named alongside the 12 baby gorillas. Not only are conservation efforts focused on the gorillas but also RDB has ensured that local communities are empowered. As observed by the Minister of Trade and Industry, Mr. Francoise Kanimba, for conservation to be sustainable, local communities must benefit from the revenues generated. Read about all these pleasant milestones achieved in the conservation of our environment.

In this issue also is the remarkable story of Elisabeth Nyirakaragire, a veterinary warden who treats the Mountain Gorilla. She is dripping with passion to conserve the gorilla. She makes a nice read.

Also worth celebrating is the successful clamour for liberation that reached its peak when RPF forces stopped the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi. You may not know it, but women too were part of this struggle. Read the intriguing, daring efforts of one Rt. Capt Dafrose, who not only comprised the 1990 group that tore through the Kagitumba border, but was also part of the NRM force to liberate Uganda.

Our topical feature focuses on the youth of Rwanda and what 4th of July means to them. It is amazing how people who probably were very young then are appreciative of their leaders, even vowing to carry on with a peaceful Rwanda.

We cannot forget to celebrate the strides made in Parliament where women representation is concerned. Deputy Alphonsine of the Rwanda Women’s Parliamentary Forum shares about the profound development that has taken place since the forum was instituted in 1996.

In a bid to keep up with your suggestions, we introduce a legal column where your legal concerns are answered by our legal expert.

Feel free to make enquiries on any legal matter that touches on family law. We have also, alongside the devotion, yielded to your suggestion to introduce a Christian column, this time talking about the power of giving.

The magazine is loaded with your usual columns for your enjoyment.

Please drop us a line, won’t you? Have a great read.

Enjoy Lillian 4

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Jul --Sep Jan Mar2013 2013

Your Feedback!

you are doing in “I take the pleasure to thank The Diva magazine for the good work really do much in encouraging, inspiring and educating women in your publication. You based development easing our job of equipping girls and women in general with gender FFRP of ent knowledge” HON. Alphonise Mukarugema, Presid ine for me to start “It took me only one article (Late Inyumba’s story) in the Diva magaz our reach within is anticipating the next issue. I never imagined that such great work The spirit to help in Rwanda. A splendid piece of work is what I have found in The Diva. forward to the next young people especially women is what I find worthy. I am looking You have brought team. ine issue and God knows I can’t wait. Hongera The Diva magaz good to Rwanda.” Tahinduka Joshua, KIST.

to “The Diva has done a lot in mending broken hearts and restoring hope find you ine, magaz Diva The of the hopeless. Whenever you read every issue NUR , something that makes you feel brand new.” Marion Pretty can read it “The stories in The Diva are so inspiring and creatively written. I o over and over again without getting bored.” Sharon Mutoni, Kicukir it.

“I just had a flick through The DIVA magazine and I absolutely love How can I get involved in making a contribution?” Louise, Kigali both “The magazine is beautiful. My fiancé and I looked through it. We a What wanted to come meet Aunt Umulisa one on one! So, you are a hit! wonderful addition!” Klara, Nyamirambo.

“This is by far one of the most beautiful and colorful magazines on the market! Thank you for allowing me the privilege to have an article published in your recent edition.” Emmanuel, Kiyovu.

beautiful “I just got to know about it but am so thrilled. The photos are really ine. and I am just starting to read it now. I am impressed with your magaz Thanks.” Marie Louise, Kacyiru a part of it as a “The DIVA magazine is a first class publication and I’m proud to be nko woman. IT LOOKS ABSOLUTELY AWESOME.“ Umukiza Bernice, Kimiro around “I just love the format of the magazine. My copy has been passed ine.” and shown off to customers and my family! What a celebratory magaz Odetta Nyamagabe.

Compiled by, ATHAN TASHOBYA.

You can pick your free copy at all Bourbon Coffee outlets, Ikirezi Book Shop & Kigali Public Library Jul - Sep 2013

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devotion

he

whom the Son

sets free is free indeed

By Anne Anjao

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My favourite verse it is: John 8:36 Jesus made this profound statement to a group of Jews after the Pharisees had taken him through a tough time of questioning. They want to know who he is, whether he will kill himself, who his father is. Jesus answers are spiritual so much that they do not understand.

But to this group of Jews, he says the following: If you continue to obey my teaching, you are truly my followers.

Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

He makes this statement shortly after the incident with the woman who was caught in adultery. The Pharisees had brought her to Jesus, hoping to trap Jesus since they came fully armed with the Law of Moses which they so believed in. Jesus knew their thinking: if he allowed them to stone her, it would negate what he had so far been teaching; if he denied them the opportunity, they would label him a traitor against God’s own divine law.

Using divine wisdom, Jesus began writing on the ground with his fingers. He then straightened up, asked those without sin to cast the first stone and continued writing on the ground. He had them just where he wanted. None could dare. The woman was

free but again Jesus had profound words for her.

“Neither do I condemn you.

Go, but sin no more.”

Still earlier on, Jesus had an interesting conversation with a Samaritan woman who at first had failed to recognize Jesus. She was bound by the awareness of physical differences between the Jews and Samaritans. That’s why she was startled when Jesus asked her for a drink. And that’s how this interesting conversation started. While Jesus talked of spiritual water, the woman talked of physical water. Jesus then tells her anyone who drinks his water will never be thirsty again. In the course of the conversation, it is revealed the woman had five husbands and the man she now lived with was not her husband.

Soon after, the Samaritans surround Jesus, wanting a drop of this living water.

These two women have a lot in common. They were both living not only in sin but in sin of the worst order for a woman: adultery.

Both encountered Jesus in a dramatic way, one dragged to him by a condemnational mob while another met him by chance at the well.

Both get enveloped in the love of God when Jesus preaches to them. Both also are given a command-obey my commandments and you will bask in the glory of my

salvation.

Yes folk, I must ask. Are you born again? If not, what are you waiting for? What is it that you have been looking for that God cannot provide?

If you think the clubbing and alcohol every weekend is your idea of freedom, think again.

When we are in school, we dream of the time we will be free of school, start work and start partying. You are bound my friend and you need to be loosed!

Some people are good, lawabiding citizens. They are sweet, have trouble with nobody, work hard and have dreams and aspirations.

They have good jobs, save and eventually buy nice clothes, vehicles, build a huge mansion, take their children to the best schools. They then fold their hands and marvel at their achievements. You are bound my friend and you need to be loosed!

How about those who are born again but fail at tithing and offerings? They have forgotten that the Christian faith is founded on giving now that God gave His only begotten Son so that whosoever would believe in Him would not perish but have everlasting life. They too are bound and need to be loosed.

Yes, Rwanda celebrates the second liberation after years of unnecessary conflict.

However, the greatest freedom comes from not only believing in the Lord Jesus Christ and confessing Him as Lord over your life, but in walking in obedience to His word all the days of your life.

Start today by partaking of the gift of salvation and walking in His ways. You will be free and free indeed.

Then we have those who have accepted Christ as their personal Savior, go to church, attend bible study, engage in a ministry in church and the like. But they struggle with personal weaknesses like pornography, masturbation, gossip, homosexuality, greed, corruption, lust, cruelty among a host of other evils. Despite your lifting hands in worship during the service, my friend, you are bound and need to be loosed!

How about those who are Jul - Sep 2013

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topical feature

What does

July

mean to you?

By Athan Tashobya & Anne Anjao

Aline Uwase, MKU Student: July 4th 1994 is the day the Genocide against the Tutsi was officially stopped by RPF. That’s what makes it a special day. For me, the day 8

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symbolizes the end of the massacre and therefore salvation. People were given back the right to be treated as human beings, the right to study, to work, to dream and to dare.

They were given back their humanity.

July 4th simply means to me a day to celebrate hope.�

Audace Munyagabo A.K.A Auddy Kelly, SFB Student: 4th July simply means self- reliance to me. As long as you have peace of mind and you are not influenced by anybody in decision making, then you

topical feature are liberated. I must put my thumbs up for my country and the government. We have really fought hard to come to liberation and we are very solid and dedicated. I am very patriotic. We will not allow anything to interfere with our hard-earned 4th of July. Thumbs up, kabisa!

GASATURA Phoebe, Senior Six Student: July 4th is not only a day to celebrate our independence but also to reflect on where we have been and where we are going as the youth and as a nation. It is a day where we are supposed to celebrate our rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. As a Christian, I always pray we have everlasting peace and democracy in our country, Rwanda.

Muyoboke Phibi a.k.a Jody Phibi: Liberation is respecting what you have and exploiting it.

I believe that gaining total freedom will only be realized through joining hands as Rwandans. We must never forget how “hell-deep” we have come and embrace what we have now for the best is yet to come. Some girls too need liberating. My advice to them is never to want to be like someone else but rather to be themselves.

That is the essence of freedom.

Neza Shemsa, MKU Student: 4th July means a lot to me. It’s a big day to celebrate the liberation of my country. 4th July marked the end of the genocide against the Tutsi where more than a million people died. Rwandan youth who were abroad came together to save their country which was in danger.

I am really thankful to them and most especially to God who gave them a helping heart. It’s been 19 years and people are living in peace. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from. We are now one. We speak with one voice. We emerged from darkness to light. I am proud to be Rwandan.

given the determination of our leadership to bring development. Liberation is a journey to prosperity for all Rwandans, for the present and future generations. Let’s celebrate it!

Carine Abayo, Shop Attendant: As a Rwandan,

Christabella Umuhoza, MKU Student: It’s a day for reflections. Reflecting on Rwanda’s past history to build

this date is very meaningful because it is a day that reminds me that I am free to legally do anything to achieve great things for my country

which is now beautiful and peaceful. Long live Rwanda.

Teta Sandra, ULK Student: Rwanda has been through hell. I call 4th July a turning point for the Rwanda everyone is proud of. It’s a

Nadia Uwera, Fastforward Employee: Liberation, which is celebrated on every 4th of July, is a special memory to many Rwandans including myself. It is a day when Rwandans remember when their country which had been held hostage by hatred for over three decades, was set free by fellow good- hearted Rwandans.

Rwanda has changed 19 years after the liberation struggle ended. The freedom to think, choose and to live in harmony has been restored and Rwanda is now one of the countries where a brighter future is guaranteed

political stability and many more.

a better future. I have learned to build on the past to build my future. To me, 4th of July means self-reliance. As a youth, I am proud of the fact that the country’s liberators were mainly made up of the youth and this inspires me to believe that if we, the youth, channel our energies in the right direction, we can do a lot of good to our country.

NIWEMWUNGERI DORCAS, SFB Student: Liberation brought sustainable peace for our country. That gave me an opportunity to pursue education and build my future

time I sit back and reflect on the history of our country and get motivated as a young person to do everything in my power to contribute towards its well-being.

I must acknowledge the fact that Rwanda is now enjoying the fruits of being totally free.

Our country is characterized by balanced and steady development in every sector; education, investment,

life. Thanks to liberation, I travel to all corners of our country without worrying about security issues. I am expecting to have a prosperous life. For me, life would not be worth living without liberation.

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kwita izina

Kwita

Izina

Celebrating nature, empowering communities

By Athan Tashobya

On Saturday 22 June, Rwandans celebrated the birth of 12 baby gorillas and one family at “Kwita Izina”, the annual naming ceremony that was held at the foothills of the Virunga Mountains in Kinigi, Northern Rwanda. The ninth annual event that was hosted

by Rwanda Development Board (RDB) brought together more than 5000 residents of Musanze District and visitors from all over the world under the theme “Celebrating nature, empowering communities”.

Under this year’s theme, the public celebrated the efforts of all those that have contributed to the welfare of wildlife and its conservation and ensured the continuity of growth in the population of gorillas and tourists while mobilizing efforts towards a greener economy.

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While having a press interview about the event, Rica Rwigamba, the Head of the Tourism and Conservation Department in RDB said that “this was not just one event but a series of events which included community celebrations, launch of community projects as well

as the Kwita Izina Caravan.

The tour began from Kigali to Kinigi passing via different tourism attractions and community projects on that route”.

As the theme of this year’s Kwita Izina suggested, the event aimed at recognizing the people that make

these successes possible – the community and 180 employees of the Virunga National Park (VNP) working as guides, gorilla groups’ trackers, and anti-poaching teams deployed in 5 protection sectors of the park.

In addition, an estimated 800 community members

List of designated 2013 gorilla names: 1.

Mr. Rifai Taleb – Secretary-General of the World Tourism Organization (UNWTO) named the baby gorilla Ubukerarugendo which means tourism

2.

Isaiah Washington IV and his family – American actor named the baby gorilla Karisimbi Getty meaning natural beauty

3.

Ms. Lieke van Lexmond – Dutch model, actress and TV presenter named the baby gorilla Icyamamare Maktub meaning rising star

4.

Mr. Mark van Eeuwin – Dutch actor, TV and film producer named the baby gorilla Icyamamare Maktub meaning

around VNP are involved in day to day VNP management activities.

Today, Rwandans can proudly proclaim its conservation efforts a great success.

Kwita Izina, among other conservation campaigns, has contributed towards growth in the population of mountain gorillas.

The hugely attended colorful event brought together a number of delegates from the international community and other regional and national officials who were engaged in the active naming of baby gorillas. Also in attendance were the Prime Minister of the Republic of Rwanda, Dr. Pierre Damien HABUMUREMYI, who also presided over as the Chief Guest in the event, and Acting CEO RDB, Ms. Claire Akamanzi.

The Prime Minister said that the Rwandan government has put up a scheme that has set aside 5% of the total tourism revenue to cater for the community projects that surround national parks, and that Rwanda is proud to be a leading trans-boundary country in the conservation of

its flora, fauna and culture in the Great Lakes region which has led to the increase of tourists to about 10% of the national population.

The Kwita Izina activities were free and open to the public that was entertained by various local and international artists, dance troupes, acrobats, actors and drummers, right from Friday June 21, at an event named “Igitaramo Community Celebration” at Musanze Regional Stadium.

Still more big names included American movie star Isaiah Washington and Nigerian movie hero and African Best Actor medal winner Ramsey Tokundo Nouah Jr.

rising star 5.

Cyprian Chitundu – Managing Director of ZESCO Limited, Zambia, named the baby gorilla Inyungura which means addition

6.

Dr. Paula Kahumbu – Executive Director of the Kenya Land Conservation Trust and Wildlife Direct, and chairperson of the Friends of Nairobi National Park named the baby Ikigega which means a store for treasures

7.

Mr. Paul Dalgleish – Director of Sales and Marketing – Middle East- African Continent- Marriott Hotels International, Inc named the baby gorilla Isimbi meaning shining pearl

8.

Jeffrey David Sachs – American economist and Director of The Earth Institute at Columbia University named the baby gorilla Icyororo meaning fertile

9.

Mr. Ramsey Tokunbo Nouah Jr – Nigerian award winning actor named the baby gorilla Ganza (always dominating)

10. H. E. Kazuya Ogawa – Ambassador of Japan to Rwanda named the baby gorilla Agasore meaning little man 11. Douglas Cress–Great Apes Survival Partnership (GRASP) Coordinator at UNEP named the baby gorilla Iraje meaning new comer 12. Rt Hon. Ekwee David Ethuro – Speaker of the Senate, Kenya, named the baby gorilla Ingamiya meaning camel 13. Ms. Mukeshimana AM. Louise – Community Member, ANICO-VNP named the baby gorilla Fasha meaning to help 14. Mr. Ignatius Pinto - Indian Pilgrim from Goa named the baby gorilla Imigano meaning bamboo Jul - Sep 2013

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kwita izina

Kwita

Izina

Community Projects Supporting National park conservation campaign

By Athan Tashobya

As this year’s theme for Kwita Izina suggests, “Celebrating nature, empowering communities”, it is Rwanda Development Board’s (RDB) strongest desire to disseminate the benefits of conservation to the communities around national parks.

Through the tourism revenue sharing scheme, RDB has funded various community projects around national parks to conserve the surrounding environment.

The head of Tourism and Conservation Department at RDB, Mrs. Rica Rwigamba says ,“We acknowledge the efforts of the people surrounding these conservation areas and we have to support them in seeking better livelihoods through sharing the continued growth in tourism revenues with our people. This would 12

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not be possible without the active protection of our national parks and conservation of their inhabitants. We have come a very long way but we still have a long way to go.”

One such undertaking by RDB was the official launch of a maize grinding plant, under a maize production cooperative

named Twisungane Gatare near Nyungwe National Park on 19th June, 2013 by the Minister of Trade and Industry Hon. Francoise Kanimba.

Also attending the event were the acting CEO Rwanda Development Board, Ms. Clare AKAMANZI and Head of Tourism and Conservation Ms. Rica Rwagamba.

What makes this a truly unique venture is that previously, residents would cut trees from the park to curve mortars for maize crushing hence this project will come in handy in matters of conservation. The project, located in Buruhukiro/ Nyamagabe, has funding that totals to Rwf 23M. With the support of RDB, a modern

grinding machine has been purchased that has increased production. Maize flour is now supplied throughout the area.

Nyiranyenzi Marie Chantal is the Vice President of Twisungane Gatare, a women’s cooperative that started way back in 2007 but gained its legal status in 2009.

She says the project has been her turning point in realizing the value of environmental conservation and sustainable development.

members, now supplies maize flour throughout their area. This has helped Chantal and fellow women to fully concentrate on farming. To conservation lovers, Chantal’s testimony gladdens the heart for it means less trees being felled.

“Before the project was initiated, we would spend whole days inside Nyungwe National Park cutting trees but thanks to RDB, our dreams are being realized.

We now have a maize grinding machine; it has made our work easier. Our production has increased up to 60 tons of maize flour. We have income, we have time for our families and we are able to support our pig and goat farming projects.”

While highlighting the significance of funding this project, Miss Clare Akamanzi said, ‘The main reason for supporting this project is to conserve the environment around Nyungwe National Park and to add value to the maize product that the local communities sell to support themselves. More benefits include farmers from other communities getting services from the grinding plant and also the husks being used for feeding pigs and chicken.

The success story of natural conservation in Rwanda will definitely depend on how much women are engaged and involved, since they still engage in lots of such other activities”.

The maize cooperative that is made up of over 60

Among other projects funded

by RDB around Nyungwe

National Park that will definitely take your attention includes Kitabi Cultural Village under the umbrella of Friends of Nyungwe Cooperative.

Kitabi Cultural Village started in 2007 and gained its legal status in 2010. It is a unique destination that promotes community-based tourism by involving local communities in preservation of ancient Rwandan culture and heritage through offering a range of activities including; day trip to learn about the history of Kings’ huts; mesmerizing traditional dances and music; visiting banana beer brewing campsites; nyamachoma( roast meat); visiting tea plantations and traditional hut accommodation.

On your visit and stay at Kitabi Cultural village, you will be met with a rare camping experience with lots of provision and care, yet the cheapest you can ever imagine since services and products range from 20$ to 40$.

“Our village is well situated, well accessible but above all we are cheap, giving our visitors a pleasant stay, a beautiful view of Nyungwe National Park and a rare experience of camping,” says Bazambaza Jean Baptist, Vice President and Coordinator of Friends of Nyungwe Cooperative.

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Friends of Nyungwe Cooperative is comprised of about 60 members and these members have gone as far as sensitizing communities

income and has provided jobs to many… We are no longer engaged in illegal activities that were initially against conservation. Instead,

around Nyungwe National Park to engage in pig rearing and rearing of other small animals like goats to curb on poaching.

we have joined hands with RDB and the government in enhancing conservation campaigns.”

a professional bee keeper and Coordinator of Ubwiza Bwa Nyungwe Cooperative says, “Unlike traditional bee keeping, professional bee keeping and processing has added much more value to the whole set up. Initially, a kilogram of honey was 600Rwf but now a kilo goes for about 4,000Rwf. This has been a big boost to many of us since we now earn a fortune.”

The Minister of Trade and Industry Mr. Francoise KANIIMBA, in his speech said,“The success of conservation can only be sustainable when communities are benefiting from the revenues generated from tourism and conservation activities. They constitute the beneficiaries of the protection of the natural habitat and it’s a great initiative for RDB to fund such a good cause.”

The cooperative has over

Marie Victoire is the Vice President of Cooperative Twitezimbere Turengera

Ibidukikije.“ We started in 2008 under the sponsorship of RDB. The cooperative has brought together village women to conserve Nyungwe National Park through engaging in weaving baskets, banana fiber dining mats, school sweaters, necklaces and other handicrafts. We are 146 members with only 4 males and this cooperative has strongly boosted our 14

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About 3 minutes’ drive from the main entrance of Nyungwe National Park, you will be welcomed into

Ubwiza Bwa Nyungwe,a cooperative of bee keepers and a honey processing plant.

This honey processing and storage centre was inaugurated in June 2012 under the sponsorship of RDB, Partners in Conservation, Kathy Ruttenberg and Wildlife Conservation Society (WSC).

Hakizimana Vincent,

1,370 members with over 4,000 beehives. Honey production has increased from time to time; 5.5 tons in 2011, 6.5 tons in 2012 and their target for 2013 is 7.5 according to Hakizimana.

However, he encourages women and youth to join them, saying the cooperative is mainly made up of men above 35 years.

These activities will run in all national parks. The main event this year, that is, Kwita Izina, was hosted in Nyungwe National Park that is mainly a habitat for various monkeys, birds and baboons.

The essence of the event in Nyungwe is to promote the park through Kwita Izina, showing that the success of one species contributes to the conservation of others.

cover story

In the business of protecting the

mountain gorilla

a passion unmatched

By Anne Anjao Jul - Sep 2013

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cover story national park), that is, Volcanoes National Park.

At the age of 17, Nyirakaragire Elisabeth was walking through the streets of Musanze when she sighted an old man. But what an old man! He looked unusual. His manner of walking was unlike any old man’s she had seen. It turned out this was no old man at all but the majestic king of the Virunga Mountains, the Mountain Gorilla!

In that instant, she knew where her destiny lay! And that passion to be close to these animals has never faded.

For Elisabeth is not only a Veterinary Warden but a mountain gorilla veterinary warden as well. Her job entails taking care of wildlife where she is in charge of regular health monitoring of the animals in collaboration with the local health officers and veterinary officers at the sector level (only around the 16

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The glow on her face when she talks about her work is easily noticeable.

Here is a person who has given herself entirely to conservation.

Admirable. Simply admirable.

A typical day for Elizabeth commences at 5am. By 6am, Elisabeth has joined the field trackers who enter the forest.

It will depend on which group is planned for the day.

There is a week’s schedule that details which family of gorillas is to be visited.

The ever smiling, warm Elisabeth explains that gorillas are grouped according to their natural families. She and the trackers will follow a group and determine the well-being of this group based on 9 parameters of health care.

These parameters help the trackers make the correct diagnosis. For example, they check the respiratory system, any discharge from the nose, and the eyes among others. These details are then entered on a prepared sheet. So important is this activity that each individual is checked and a summary of each member entered.

How do they tell apart these gorillas?

“Oh, it’s easy. Each gorilla has a natural nose print which makes it easy to distinguish them,” confidently answers Elisabeth.

If a member is found with an illness, she will evaluate and make a decision. Last December for example, in the Sabyinyo Group, one member was diagnosed with a serious respiratory disease where she was coughing and had a nasal discharge.

“We were very worried,” says Elisabeth, with a genuine look of concern on her face, “This signified the beginning of a respiratory disease outbreak-the main threat for gorilla survival. This was bad news. Very bad news,” emphasizes Elisabeth, again obviously displaying her great love for gorillas.

Elisabeth says they quickly swung into action. They had to plan a regular monitoring programme to stem the advance of the infection.

The next day, the gorilla was seriously ill. She was isolated, treated and mercifully recovered in four days.

Because infection spreads fast, 12 members got the same symptoms. These ones were monitored and were fine a couple of days later. In total, 2 were treated out of the total 14 members in the Sabyinyo Group.

Truly Elisabeth means business with her job. The field trips may not just last a couple of minutes. The groups

can be found within a radius of 500 meters or sometimes even 4km! This means Elisabeth and the trackers can walk for as long as 4 hours to locate the group scheduled to be attended to that day.

It certainly is no job for the chicken- hearted, yet this very cheerful, graceful lady does it with so much ease, and so much passion!

“There is no straight route in tracking the gorillas. The forest has 19 groups and each group has its home range but home ranges may overlap,” says Elisabeth.

Tracking is usually done twice a week and so Elisabeth spends her other hours doing office work.

She is not idle here because she is busy organising refresher courses for new staff members among other duties. RDB is very serious about conservation hence veterinary training takes place twice a year.

She usually conducts these trainings herself unless they need support from elsewhere in which case partners involved with conservation come in handy.

With great sadness enveloping her face, Elisabeth reveals that once in a while, they lose gorillas, a very painful experience. For instance, one infant died due to infanticide (2 have died this year). It happened when a female left her group to join another group. She had a male infant with her who was killed by the dominant male of the group. Infanticide is the intentional killing of an

infant. Yet another died due to congenital abnormalities.

“Most causes of death are natural, so there is nothing really one can do,” philosophises Elisabeth.

To minimise cases of unwarranted emergencies, they ensure their field staff are well-trained and require them to make daily reports by radio. They have sheets on which to enter their reports and also call directly should there be an emergency.

Field staff also will quickly recognize any abnormal behaviour by these animals.

“Our field staff knows the animals’ vocalizations. They know what each sound means, whether of joy or distress. They know the sound the animals make when attacked by poachers.

In turn, the animals have learned to recognize the wardens vocalizations too!” says a visibly contented Elisabeth.

Truthfully and with all humility, Elisabeth admits that she was not always confident or sure about living

among wild beasts. When she entered the forest the first time, she was apprehensive whether she would manage these animals. She need not have worried for long because after several visits, she noticed they were friendly and so eased up a little. The seasoned wardens also helped them to gain confidence. She was also later to learn that gorillas are not aggressive unless provoked.

The only time she thought her world had ended was three years ago in the morning while on duty in the forest to track one group. After crossing a ravine, the trackers encountered a buffalo.

“I saw it charging at me. Then I fell down. The next thing I heard, in a split second, was the sound of gunfire. A game ranger had correctly assessed the danger I was in and shot the buffalo.”

Elisabeth says even the buffaloes are not usually aggressive, only that this particular one had a young calf. She is not afraid of possible attacks by other wild animals because they move

in groups of trackers among whom are 5 wardens, three fully armed.

The 50 year old widower with 3 children aged 25,23,17 is in possession of a Diploma in Wildlife Management from Cameroon. She did veterinary studies at the secondary school level. Elisabeth has also done a number of short trainings organized by RDB. She began working with RDB in 1987 as a Vet Assistant.

She has been a Vet Warden with RDB from 2006.

Elisabeth would give anything in the world to cuddle and play with gorillas but sadly, that’s a no-go-zone because no human contact is allowed with the animals. Diseases are easily transmitted. Even when treating them, the distance allowed is 7 meters.

“When we treat them, we must wear masks and gloves. We treat them using a darting gun which sedates an individual. Trackers make a wall around the gorillas before treatment can commence so they don’t see the patient being treated.”

If they see an individual

down, they may become reactive. They also make a point of treating it near the group because they may not trace the group where it moves to.

Elisabeth is grateful for the changes that have taken place over the years; communities are involved, which has slowed down illegal activities; monitoring is now improved; keeping of records and identification of gorillas has seen great improvement; and equipment such as binoculars have been acquired. Moreover, in the past, anybody could be recruited. These days, the minimum requirement for field staff is Senior Six. What’s more, numbers are increasing. In 2012 the gorilla population increased by 26.3%.

According to Elizabeth, nothing is more fulfilling and gratifying than serving nature. She wishes that the local population would immerse themselves fully in conservation purely for the benefit of future generations.

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profile

BRAVE MUKAKANYANA ODETTA

Female Ranger in Nyungwe National Park Convention demands that a game ranger be a masculine, energetic, strong man able to hold a heavy rifle and give no wild animals sweet smiles. But one Odetta Mukakanyana has defied convention and followed her passion-strong love for nature, especially the Colobac, locally known as “Inkomo”; a wild mammal she cherishes most. And it is at Nyungwe National Park that Mukakanyana spends her waking hours as a game ranger.

By Athan Tashobya

Despite her gender, Mukakanyana’s mind was set on serving nature. In 1998, she passed a test to join the army after losing her husband during the 1994 Genocide against the Tustsi, a career that lasted for about 3 years before she 18

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was demobilized in 2000.

However, Mukakanyana’s inner passion for the woodland could not confine her home, moreover after she had lost her husband earlier on. She had to hunt for her family. She is a mother to one child; a boy who is in

his final year of high school, studying literature.

Hers is an intriguing story: In 2000, Mukakanyana went to a recruitment meeting for game rangers. She was over qualified. Having had a military background

and a love for nature, Mukakanyana found it so easy to mingle with the beautiful forest of Nyungwe.

Although many females think it is a hard occupation, it is never a difficult journey as long as you love nature, says Mukakakanyana.

profile

“We went through very humbling training. There were times I felt like giving up because of family responsibilities as a single mother, but that omniscient voice kept urging me to go on,” says Mukakanyana.

participated in several antipoaching operations and helped to teach residents about the value of their surroundings for 13 years now.

Dangerous work

Rwanda Development Board Like most game rangers (RDB) and the government who spend most of their worked together to finance time in the middle of a the recruitment and training scary forest, Mukakanyana of Mukakanyana and other has been threatened by rangers to help protect wildlife criminals. However, species and forests. The Mukakanyana says working recruits were taught how to in Nyungwe National Park use sophisticated mapping is fulfilling despite the and tracking technologies, threats. There are a lot of fun and how to moments and Although many plan antione does feel females think it is a poaching pleased with hard occupation, it surveillance oneself after a is never a difficult missions. good job done.

journey as long as you love nature.

“When you

After training, Mukakanyana was sent to Nyungwe National Park, Southern Province. Here, she has

know the value of nature, you get to know how life is a cycle- we need nature as much as

nature needs human beings.

It is a win-win situation.

In fact we need nature much more than nature needs us. So we should love and protect it as much as possible,” Mukakanya philosophizes.

Breaking gender barriers As a female ranger, Mukakanyana is in the minority, being among only 5 female rangers with about 80 male guides. But she says her gender does not affect her work.

“I do not feel any different working with men. We eat together, sleep in similar tents and spend our days on the same duty. Plus, we had the same training. RDB and the government have supported us in every way possible.

The salary is enough; we get monthly allowances which

There are a lot of fun moments and one does feel pleased with oneself after a good job done.

help to keep us going. Life here is good and healthy; all the workers here have life insurance. It’s a matter of loving what we are doing,” she adds.

“I understood the risks involved in this job before getting into it and I hope to continue working as a game ranger for a long time. I was born in Africa which is endowed with wildlife and I feel it is a moral obligation to protect it and its wildlife. I love wearing this uniform,” Mukakanyana concludes.

She urges women to take up this rare occupation, refuse to be intimidated and join hands in conserving wildlife.

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Kwita Izina Ceremonies

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Supporting National park conservation campaign.

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liberation

Women

in combat

Rt.Capt Dafrose INTARAMIRWA’s story

By Athan Tashobya

“Many years have passed since you went to war. Considering all that you went through, would you go back to fighting?”

“Definitely,for a good reason! Oh yes, I would!”

That was the startling but hardly surprising answer from Rt. Capt. Dafrose Intaramirwa, who did so without batting an eyelid. This graceful lady, bubbling with joy and energy is one that quickly gladdens the heart when you get to talk to her. The answer is even more startling when you catch sight of a huge scar on her foot that was obviously at one point a nasty wound.

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liberation 29 years ago, Dafrose Intaramirwa decided she wanted to join the army since it would allow her “to engage in fighting for the liberation of her then home country Uganda and later continue the fight to her ancestral motherland Rwanda,” Dafrose recalled in an interview with The DIVA.

accompanied by strong character. “Am sure you didn’t know that a girl child can take over the family throne… but my father trusted me so much to give me the headship of my family. I am still the heir of my big family,”Rt. Capt Dafrose jokes.

It’s by no surprise that she got married at an early age Born on 28th December of 17, but later divorced 1954 in Uganda, Dafrose after 11 years of an unstable Intaramirwa’s parents relationship with her then migrated from Rwanda husband with whom they due to political unrest then. had 6 children. She later Her father was a medical decided to join the National assistant at Gahini, Eastern Resistance Province before they left Rwanda in But her limited Army (NRA); a revolutionary the early 1950’s to school life group that settle in Ntungamo didn’t limit was fighting District, part of South the ambitious to oust the Western Uganda.

Dafrose. dictatorial and extremist Little Dafrose spent government of Dr. Milton most of her childhood Obote in Uganda in 1982. living and staying in her grandfather’s home. Her Generally the government school experience didn’t last beyond Primary level. But her back in Uganda by then was as worse as the one we had limited school life didn’t limit in Rwanda, though the latter the ambitious Dafrose. became the worst of the Being the first born of 9 other worst due to 1994 Genocide siblings, Dafrose was required against Tusti. These and many other disturbing conditions to do most of the household forced me to join other chores; grazing cattle and revolutionaries to stop such taking care of her little horrible atrocities,” Dafrose siblings as well as helping in explains. other home activities. “I got engaged in various home From 1982 to 1990, Dafrose chores at a tender age which contributed towards my being served in the NRA. She finally hang her combat boots in brave and strong enough to 1997, when she was formally take up bigger and difficult demobilized after 15 years of responsibilities,” she says. selfless frontline service.

Unlike many girls, Dafrose Before joining NRA, Dafrose was made the family heir informed her late father because of her bravery though this was after she had and ambitious personality,

undergone secret military training. Her father had little to say except give her his blessings. Her mother learnt about it later on. This was one of the most difficult struggles she had ever gotten engaged in. However, the most dangerous but a “must-getinto” struggle was coming her way: the RPF liberation war.

And the real liberation struggle begins…..

With RPF senior leaders announcing their cause to go back home and liberate their own motherland Rwanda, Dafrose realized she was no exception. She felt a deep desire to put on her combat gear and move out of long time exile, to join with other fighters and play her best known part.

among others. Rwanda and Rwandans in general were faced with the worst leadership at that time… Am sure that is the reason we could not wait any longer.

The liberation struggle was inevitable,” Dafrose added.

In 1990, Rt. Capt. Dafrose was among the first phase of soldiers that launched the RPF liberation war that stopped the 1994 Genocide against the Tusti and later went on to establish a government of unity and reconciliation.

“Life in the bush…. it was not a bed of roses. The whole struggle was indeed a tough experience but it was worth the suffering and sacrifice,” says Dafrose.

Like every normal soldier in combat, Dafrose endured the horrors of war first handand she bears physical and psychological scars of that experience. But looking into her glittering face, you can hardly tell she had had a bush experience for so long.

“Yes, we had liberated Uganda in 1986, which was our home by then and we were all happy and the country was at peace. But knowing at the back of our minds that we were refugees in that country, we surely “At the beginning, we didn’t could not sit back and relax have uniform. I remember in exile, as if we were in back in 1983 when I was paradise. Thanks to our RPF forced to saw my wrapping visionary leaders who had cloth into a skirt the hunger for using thorns and We surely could sisal, because total liberation,” Rt. not sit back and the initial skirt Captain narrated.

relax in exile, as if we were in paradise.

“Preparations were done as fast as possible; our leaders mobilized some of us and other youths from various countries neighbouring Rwanda such as Democratic Republic of Congo, Tanzania, and Kenya

I had had been torn beyond repair. However, my “new” skirt didn’t last the test of time. Dressing was one of the biggest challenges we were faced with; not mentioning hunger, heavy rains and burning sunshine.

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liberation Of course our senior leaders were so motivational, supportive and encouraging.

At the back of our minds was the consolation that the cause was genuine and so we had to keep on fighting until we won. Indeed we won.” She reminiscences.

It’s hard to believe that the Retired Captain still has the same love for combat even at her senior age of 59! “ I would be lying if I said I don’t think about dying or if then I didn’t think about death. But for a good cause, I would not hesitate to go back to the front line. Quote me well; I said for any good reason. I still love my combat gear,” Rt. Capt Dafrose boldly declares.

fast development and peace of her beloved country. To emphasize this in Kinyarwanda,she says, “Banyarwanda nimumenya kandi mugaha agaciro amaraso yamenetse kubera kugunda iki gihugu, ndizera ntashidikanya ko ntakabuza tuzakomeza tukaba mumahoro kandi tukagera kw’ iterambere twese twifuza”. (If Rwandans give value to the blood that was shed for the love of this country, with no doubt, Rwanda shall continue to have peace and will continue to embrace steadfast development.)

“If we stick to ‘true salvation’, patriotism and unity, we shall never cease to prosper. True She is happy to be in the salvation means to love and comfort zone now and she fear God. If the old church in calls on her fellow Rwanda Rwandans not to had true take peace for salvation, But for a good cause, granted but rather am sure I would not hesitate embrace it, value the to go back to the it and value those Genocide front line. that sacrificed their wouldn’t lives to see such have a dream come to occurred. reality.

It is so unfortunate, but we should learn from such a “It’s such a great privilege sad experience, love our and honor that I was country, re-unite ourselves successfully engaged in and continue to build a better the liberation struggle. It Rwanda,” Dafrose advises. was horrible, difficult, and unfortunately, most of my What does she have to say comrades, thousands of to young girls and those that them, lost their dear lives. look up to her in general?

But I thank God our dream The Rt. Captain takes a deep of peace and having a united sigh and says “… Well, I don’t Rwanda was achieved,” says think anyone else would have a jolly Dafrose. the same life experience I Now a strong Christian, Dafrose prays that nothing would hinder the steady 24

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have had; it is my humble request to every girl child to value and appreciate their origin. She says that girls and

women in general should strive towards working for their families, loving their country and loving God. She believes that a strong family translates into a strong nation.

governance

Celebrating

17 years of Selfless Service RWANDA WOMEN PARLIAMENTARIANS FORUM (RWPF)/FFRP

By Athan Tashobya

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governance Formed in May 1996, the Rwanda Women Parliamentary Forum (RWPF), commonly known as FFRP, aimed to create a mechanism to facilitate gender integration, unity and solidarity in Parliament that by then had different political leanings following a tragedy that had befallen Rwanda just 2 years after the 1994 Genocide against the Tusti.

A group of 12 dedicated women who were in the National Transitional Assembly came together to form a forum that merged all female parliamentarians, senators and deputies, hoping it would help in strengthening the role of women parliamentarians in the Rwandan society. RWPF was the first to be established among networks and forums affiliated to Parliament and it has since worked hand in hand with the government to integrate gender at all levels through a number of actions.

genocide left many women widowed and without any rights. They were not allowed to own property or even open a bank account. We decided to come together and device means of empowering this hopeless and marginalized group of citizens in every way possible,” says Alphonsine.

Deputy Alphonsine had a personal encounter with the crime and horrible trauma experienced by the victims of the 1994. Genocide against the Tusti that claimed over a million Rwandans including her husband and 2 of her children. Alphonsine says that women, to a bigger extent, were the most vulnerable of the genocide; some had been raped, majority had lost their families and there was a lot of violence among other horrors of the war. There was a great need to unite and restore peace and reconciliation among women victims.

Deputy Alphonsine Mukarugema is the current President of RWPF, a seat she has held since 2003. Coming close to the end of her 2nd term of office, THE DIVA team met with her for an insight into this selfless dedicated forum.

Looking through the window, it seems Deputy Alphonsine finds it hard to recollect the horrific events of 1994.

“Truthfully, in 1996, there was still a lot of mistrust, hopelessness, disunity, trauma and every other fresh-sour wounds on the hearts of Rwandans and women in particular. I salute my colleagues who came up with such a visionary initiative aimed at bringing back unity and reconciliation,” Alphonsine says.

“There were a number of factors that led to the formation of FFRP; The 1994

The constitution of The Republic of Rwanda that was adopted on 26th May

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2003, provided for a 30% minimum quota for women in Parliament or permanent 24 seats. This is said to have been the turning point for the current state of administration in the country.

Parliament has accomplished all its tasks and has continued to deliver outstanding service towards national sustainable development.

RWPF/FFRP was instrumental in drafting a new bill that gave Rwandan women rights to land inheritance with more provisions for family protection. Rape was another horror that characterized a majority of the 1994 genocide female victims. Additionally, FFRP successfully moved rape into the most severe category of crimes committed during the genocide. With the help of Government, FFRP has been behind most of the legislation that has brought Rwanda to the forefront in ensuring economic stability and social welfare.

“We work closely with other decision- making organs; parliament, senate, chamber of deputies and various ministries of the government.

Our President Mr. Paul Kagame has supported us in every way possible to make sure we put into action every task and project initiated,” Alphonsine says.

All these elements put together bring out the argument that the reason Rwanda is developing so fast is the fact that it has allowed women who really understand everyday issues that affect society, to not

only be involved in politics but also to hold those high government positions.

“The Government of Rwanda was and still is committed to having a state governed by the rule of law, a pluralist democratic government, equality of all between women and men reflected, and in making sure that at least 24 out of 80 parliamentary seats are reserved for women in decision making organs. I believe any given society where females are fairly represented in decision making instances are more peaceful and stable….

Women capacity building and empowerment is the answer, ”adds Deputy Alphonsine.

It is possible that the government’s decision to push women to competitively vie for government offices could be the secret behind it all. This is due to the fact that women accomplish a lot in their work as is shown, something that other countries are yet to discover.

Women leaders in Rwanda have continued to play a noticeable role in combating poverty, hunger and disease and to stimulate sustainable development.

In accordance with Parliament’s mission on gender role matters, FFRP has contributed to the establishment of inclusive, egalitarian, equitable and participatory society. A society that is characterized by unity and equality between women and men.

However, such efforts start

governance

right from the top as Deputy Alphonsine says, “One of our tasks is to sensitize Rwandan parliamentary women to adopt strategies that will enable them to advocate for the elaboration and the adoption of laws and policies, taking into account gender dimensions among other tasks. This helps promote solidarity among women parliamentarians and thus contribute towards the capacity building of parliamentary women in the framework of their parliamentary role in general, and of their position of advocacy for the consideration of gender dimension within the parliamentary mission and structure irrespective of their political ideologies”.

Traditionally, in Rwanda men and women had different roles and separate domains, but FFRP, with the help of the government, has ensured that these boundaries are being steadily eliminated. Women are now taking up those prestigious government positions with strength, enthusiasm and skill. What is happening is little short of revolutionary:

women occupying most of the important government ministries and making up 56% of the country’s parliamentarians, including the speaker, statistics that are yet to be found in any other country in the world.

“We have a lot of influence,” Alphonsine says. “The President has always given us a shoulder to lean on, and other government officials are always present most of the time in our cabinet meetings. They encourage us to think outside boundaries and initiate policy. It’s a very open forum. That’s why we have been so effective.”

For a better fulfillment of its mission, RWPF has set up organs that are wellstructured in such a way that execution of duties is effective. These are: The General Assembly, The Executive Committee, Permanent Commissions, Surveillance Council and Executive Secretariat. These organs are specific entities of analysis and advocacy for the implementation of RWPF mission and duties.

RWPF has partnered with a number of international and government organs

and organizations in implementation of various projects. “We work closely with UN women Agency, International Women of the Great Lakes Regions, Rwandan Parliament, ministries, Women Entrepreneurs’ Forum, Imbuto Foundation among others. This has helped us engage in both international and national activities such as Forum for International Women Parliamentarians, International Women’s Day events, Girinka and Nyakasti campaigns. All our national activities among others have been specifically targeting the least vulnerable village women and widows, inspiring them to personal development,” Alphonsine adds.

Rwanda’s progress on women is admired elsewhere. This progress has attracted women organs from various countries from the East African region, Africa and at the international world, coming to learn from Rwanda’s success story of women empowerment and their role in national development. On May 17th and 18th Rwanda hosted and convened an international forum on the role of

leadership in gender equality and woman’s empowerment, attracting women ministers, MPs and dignitaries from all over Africa and beyond, including the Tanzanian UN Deputy Secretary General, Asha-Rose Migiro. In her words of acknowledgement, Miss Migiro applauded Rwanda’s effort in bringing gender and equality to the heart of the political process.

President Paul Kagame has continually praised Rwandan women for their role in the development of the country, adding that empowering women and ensuring gender equality were yardsticks for development. In May 2013, while officiating in the International Women’s Forum Day hosted in Kigali, President Kagame in his remarks said, “Empowering women and ensuring gender equality ultimately enriches communities and entire nations. Historically, during our liberation struggle and even more recently, in reconstructing our country, women have contributed greatly and have been at the forefront of political, economic and reconciliation initiatives.”

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insurance

are you

INSURED?

SONARWA’S Allen Karungi provides an insight into insurance

By Athan Tashobya & Anne Anjao

A surprise indeed awaits you when you meet Allen Karungi Gatete, the Corporate Communications Manager with SONARWA for the last 3 years, for the Gatete you encounter on the phone is not the Gatete you meet in person. When you know you will be meeting with a manager of a renowned company as SONARWA you would imagine meeting with an elderly 40+ year old, calm, composed, economical- with- words- lady. Far from it.

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And therein lies the pleasant surprise, for young 28 year old Gatete is not only a holder of a Masters’ degree in Accounting (MA) from the University of Caribbean, but also boasts of professional trainings from Trade Mark International among others attained from the UK, Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda and Rwanda.

vibrant staff working all week through. It is this intricate combination that has seen the company rise to the top.

Gatete reveals that SONARWA offers two major products; SONARWA Life Insurance and SONARWA General Insurance.

SONARWA Life Insurance entails a contract between an insurance policy holder and the insurer. The insurer promises to pay a designated beneficiary an agreed sum of money upon the death of the insured person. Gatete is quick to point out that getting life insurance is a necessity that can save an individual a lot of heartache and stress when calamity strikes. Sadly, she says, much as these insurance packages are available, several Rwandans are ignorant of the benefits emanating from insurance.

A smiling, welcoming Gatete first explains what insurance is before disclosing the secret behind SONARWA’S success.

She says insurance is the equitable transfer of the risks of a loss, from one entity to another in exchange of payment. It’s a form of risk management primarily used to hedge against the risk of contingent, uncertain loss.

SONARWA has been a leading insurer in Rwanda for over 30 years so what is behind this SONARWA has remained the success? A confident Gatete, preferred choice of discerning and obviously pleased with clients this question, seeking quickly plunges SONARWA has first class into the business remained the insurance she best preferred choice of services understands. discerning clients and risk She says that seeking first class management SONARWA insurance services has been and risk management solutions.

Their clients around since solutions. come from 1975, currently various with over 39 sectors including: Banking branches well distributed all and Finance, Marine and over Rwanda. The company Aviation, Engineering and prides itself in having Construction, Automobile, experienced employees who NGO’S, Manufacturing, possess diverse knowledge in insurance, good customer care Communications and Real Estate. and better service delivery to their clients. One thing SONARWA also offers Risk SONARWA has done is invest Management services which in Human Resource where include: the company has employed Property Damage and young, well qualified and

Business Interruption Risk that people see her as too Evaluation Services, Liability young but philosophically Risk Evaluation Services, responds that she is not too Safety Management Services, young to deliver her best.

Loss Prevention/Control “A lot of Services, opportunities Engineering “A lot of opportunities are awarded Risk are awarded to to women Management women in Rwanda, in Rwanda, Services, not because of gender not because Electrical promotion but on of gender Equipment/ merit as well. promotion Computer but on merit All Risks as well. It’s a Evaluation, Plant All Risks challenge to me that I have to Evaluation, Machinery offer my services to the best Breakdown Risks Evaluation of my knowledge.” and Condition Assessment/ Evaluation Services.

Gatete wants to be remembered as somebody Another unique thing with who has contributed to SONARWA is that it has Rwanda’s vision and given it existing collaboration with her 100%, and who has also the Risk Engineering and Loss groomed other Rwandans, Control Services Departments especially younger ones, and/or subsidiaries of to be part of the journey. reputable foreign underwriters She believes she still has and reinsurers which include a lot to do but she cannot XL Winterthur International underestimate the gains she Re, AON Risk Management, has brought so far.

Risk Engineering Services of Zurich Insurance Company of Gatete was born to the Netherlands. Recognition is family of Mr. Gatete Geoffrey also given to our collaborative Gatonga, back in Uganda. representative services Unfortunately, she lost her

by ACE Insurance N.V. of mother at the age of 13. The Netherlands. single Gatete reveals that she is seeing someone special at Challenged about the nonthe moment. And to fellow existence of sensitization women, this is what she has campaigns about insurance, to say: Gatete clarifies that insurance differs in each jurisdiction.

“To my colleagues out there, She is also of the opinion that the sky is the limit. No one will Rwanda has comparatively respect you just because you done a lot given its history. are well dressed but almost She however agrees that a everyone will respect you if lot needs to be done in the you are knowledgeable and area of insurance in terms of are able to challenge people skills training, developing the based on facts. Women profession and the industry. should be ambitious because In a society that is often there is not a single job that a prejudiced, Gatete concedes man can do that we can’t.”

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relationships

Is

Monogamy

By Patricia Kamikazi

a myth?

For a long time now, I have been under the impression that all men are cheating scoundrels and that finding a man so bent on pleasing one woman is harder than nailing water to a tree! Years back, a friend of mine found out that the man she had loved and respected for almost seven years had a child with some other woman and according to the other woman’s testimony, they were still seeing each other and very much in love.

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She didn’t know what she was mad at the most; the fact that this man was a father and he hadn’t found it fit to tell her or perhaps the revelation that he was still seeing the child’s mother, or even that with everything she had found out, he was still wasting her time!

She thought of ending it but after calculating how much time, energy and sacrifice she had put into the relationship, she was damned if she would let him off that easily. He had hurt and humiliated her and dammit, she was going to make him pay. So she spoke to the guy about it, and assured him that all could be forgiven. The stupid man believed her in a heartbeat.

He swore on his life and even went ahead to endanger others by swearing on their lives too that he was now a one woman man and that he was only interested in his child and not the other woman.

After a few months of being the perfect partner, she dumped him so hard. To this day, his head still aches. She assured him that she was in love with someone else and that it just wasn’t working out for her. Confused beyond words, the man asked how she could be in love with someone else when they were dating, to which she casually reminded him of his own misdemeanor and added that every belief she had in monogamy was viciously flushed out of her head, thanks to him.

So as we navigate the high

seas of intimacy in search of a soul mate, we need to ask ourselves from time to time, and with some hesitation, is monogamy a myth? Will you ever find the loving and secure relationship you deserve? Is ‘true love’ really possible in this day and age?

Is it really getting harder to find that one person so devoted to another?

According to www.keen. com, humans are not part of the few socially monogamous species in the animal kingdom. Although we seek loyalty, our nature isn’t monogamous because monogamy is a choice. There is nothing in our genetic make-up that stresses sexual fidelity. We are not programmed to seek one mate. A vow of monogamy is a synthetic invention. It is a value and it’s up to us to determine its worth.

There is great nobleness in the trust that is inspired by a monogamous vow. It is a simple statement: sexually, you only share each other.

You have created something special, something unique

side. A mother could chase a hyper and noisy toddler while carrying dirty dishes to the sink, and still have time to fantasize about the beach, a glass of wine and Ryan Reynolds asking if he can rub some lotion on her back. Men have these fantasies too, perhaps hourly. It’s human nature.

and exclusive. And it’s just for the two of you.

Temptation is always at hand. Humans get bored easily and are always looking for adventure. The grass is always greener on the other

Use your assets: Realise what was so attractive about you when you first met and enhance those qualities.

Whether or not you can be monogamous is a question only you can answer.

Bedroom action: However, from the same Enough said! website You are Humans get bored are tips individuals: You easily and are always have separate (Greener looking for adventure. lives so don’t Pasture The grass is always Pointers) try to impose greener on the other your lifestyle on that will side. help you another. As long feather the as they don’t nest and keep your partner’s compromise your values, attention exactly where you there is no harm in a little want it. individuality.

Gratitude: If you really love a person then it won’t kill you to let them know just how grateful you are to have them in your life. Appreciate the things that they do, no matter how small. It always makes a difference.

Listen: In all honesty, so Is ‘true love’ really possible in this day and age?

Change your day to day routine and introduce some fun activities in your life. Go bungee jumping, hiking or sightseeing. Start a band for all I care, just do something new!

many people rarely do this; on the contrary, they do the talking. For something so simple to do, it’s shocking how rarely it happens. So, take a break from talking about the wonder that is you, or simply being uninterested and listen. There is always something new to learn about a person if you just listen.

Change routine: Humans are restless animals and get bored quite easily.

Share: Look for something you have in common, something that you can work on together.

These Greener Pasture Pointers allow you to lead by example. Monogamy is a joy, a value and a secret agreement that you share with your partner. We are destined to make a few mistakes along the way –like checking out the hot life guard’s abs is human…and technically it’s not my fault… how is the hot guy walking around shirtless my fault?

Trust. Hope. Faith. These are the morals that you want in a partner; the values that will define your life and your love forever. Is monogamy a myth? That’s up to you.

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ask our legal expert

can

conjugal

rights

be latitude to commit

marital

Prior to discussing what is entailed in the above question, let me first define the key words: According to Black’s Law Dictionary, ‘Conjugal Rights’ means the rights and privileges arising from a marriage relationship, including the mutual rights of companionship, support, and sexual affairs.

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rape?

By Fred Nkusi

?

Carole Pateman has defined ‘Conjugal Rights,’ as the right of men’s sexual privilege and ownership of women granted to them under civil and religious codes of law.

Equally, it has been argued that the idea of ‘conjugal rights’ forms the basis of the sexual contract on which the success of marriage hinges in the eyes of the law. The concept of conjugal rights asserts there are moral duties or privileges that marriage couples share. The assumption is that conjugal rights are moral only in, and to be expressed within marriage.

Pursuant to article 198 of Rwanda’s Organic Law N° 01/2012/ of 02/05/2012 instituting the Penal Code, ‘Marital Rape’ means “any act of sexual intercourse committed by one spouse on the other by violence, threat or trickery”. From other sources, it has been defined as “any unwanted intercourse or penetration obtained by force, threat of force, or when the wife is unable to consent.”

Rwanda’s Civil Code Book II recognizes conjugal rights, under Articles 197 and 198, as one of the fundamental components, if not the first, of marriage life. In other words, it can be asserted that in marriage the sexual relationship is the central most powerful aspect of the contract. Enjoyment of conjugal rights is obligatory in the marriage contract.

One author called Guillaumin has argued that the non-

existence of a sexual relationship “is a peremptory reason for annulment (not ‘divorce’, but ‘annulment’)”.

Annulment means that without the occurrence of sexual intercourse, the marriage does not exist.

In most countries, sexual relations outside the marriage are grounds for divorce.

Likewise, in Rwanda, lack of sexual intercourse in marriage can be construed as a ground for divorce.

In fact, one would ask: what is the essence of marriage?

Marriage has been defined as the union of a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to each other of the type that is naturally (inherently) fulfilled by bearing and rearing children together. The spouses seal (consummate) and renew their union by “conjugal acts” – acts that constitute the behavioral part of the process of reproduction, thus uniting them as a reproductive unit.

Marriage is valuable in itself, but its inherent orientation to the bearing and rearing of children contributes to its distinctive structure, including norms of monogamy and fidelity. This link to the welfare of children also helps explain why marriage is important to the common good and why the state should recognize and regulate it.

Clearly, sexual intercourse (as conjugal rights) is meant to benefit a man and woman from each other psychologically, physically

and spiritually as husband and wife, who decide to live together . Can conjugal rights be an absolute leeway for one of the spouses to use all possible means over the other in order to enjoy his or her right? Is consent imperative anyway?

According to Law n°59/2008 of 10/09/2008 on prevention and punishment of Gender-Based Violence (“GBV”), article 5 provides that: “Both spouses have equal rights as to sexual intercourse, reproductive health and family planning.

It is forbidden to have sex with one’s spouse without one’s consent”.

The provision envisages equal rights of spouses to sexual intercourse for the purposes of bearing and rearing children, but it rules out forcible sexual intercourse or non-consensual sex with one’s spouse. Interestingly, the provision does not accommodate any exception whatsoever.

Today, like in many countries, marital rape constitutes a criminal offence. Pursuant to article 199 of the Penal Code, noted earlier, stipulates that: “any person who commits marital rape shall be liable to a term of imprisonment of at least two (2) months but less than six (6) months and a fine of one hundred thousand (100,000) to three hundred thousand (300,000) Rwandan Francs or one of these penalties.”

However, it is quite important to note that marital rape is a new phenomenon in

Rwandan Law. Nevertheless, arguably, marital rape remains a form of intimate partner violence, i.e., an abuse of power by which one spouse attempts to establish dominance and control over the other. Research shows that it can be equally, if not more, emotionally and physically traumatizing than rape by a stranger. Therefore, non-consensual sex is wrong in all circumstances, and so wrong as to be properly regarded as a serious crime.

In sum, admittedly, sexual intercourse in marriage is an inherent right to either spouse, but it cannot be abused nevertheless. Ideally, conjugal rights refer to a relationship conferred on spouses within marital bond. They are claims and entitlements in which personal involvement of couples are tested. These claims and entitlements include sharing of time, personal intimacy, pleasure and pain associated with marital relationship and sexual intercourse. Conjugal rights demand a high sense of responsibility and a great level of cooperation of spouses to achieving smooth family living.

Fred K. NKUSI (LLM), Visiting Lecturer, Mount Kenya University (MKU)

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33

trends

the

mint

condition

By Izela Barlow

For most countries, summer is here. For a tropical country like Rwanda, the sun is out all year long. When it comes to hot weather and fashion, mint becomes that O- so- cool touch you long for.

Whether it is a sprig of mint in your tonic soda, a cup of freshly brewed mint tea to clear your throat, mint in your lamb biriyani, a minty balm for your dry lips on a hot day or something mint in your wardrobe – they all keep you fabulously cool.

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Mint vintage Rocking mint in Kigali

Freshen things up in your wardrobe with this pale icy green shade. It is the season’s new COOL. If you are afraid of colour then mint is your new best friend! It is just the shade to cool down neon colours like hot pink. Think of pastel shades as updated neutrals.

Something for the tots too…

Stand out with a touch of cool…

Mint it like Kanye!

(courtesy of Simba children’s department, Grand Pension Plaza)

perfect for your lunch date in Kigali Jul - Sep 2013

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35

health

KERAT

U N S O C O

A rare eye disease but a source of concern too

By Anne Anjao

Claire: suffers from Keratoconus

Claire Aduvuka was a normal baby and child until she reached puberty when she

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began experiencing sight problems. The first thing her parents did was take her to an optician who prescribed eye glasses for her. However for Aduvuka, glasses would only work for a month before she went back for stronger ones. One day, in a church conference the whole family was attending, Aduvuka left her seat to go to the ladies and on her way back, she

could not locate her seat. It is then her parents realized the enormity of the situation and the following day, consulted another specialist. The verdict was grim: Aduvuka was suffering from Keratoconus and glasses would not help.

Keratoconus is a noninflammatory, usually bilateral profusion of the cornea. It is a disease that creates a

thinning of the cornea or the clear front surface of the eye.

Normal outward pressure within the eye causes the cornea to progressively bulge into a cone-like shape.

This change in the cornea’s shape can have a dramatic impact on one’s vision. In more severe cases,normal everyday activities such as driving and reading can be difficult to perform. Although

Keratoconus rarely results in total blindness, 20% of all patients will at some time need to undergo a corneal transplant, according to medical experts.

Dr. John Nkurikiye of the newly opened modern Agarwal Eye Hospital and the only Rwandan doctor dealing with Keratoconus, says the disease is caused by genetic and environmental factors, and contrary to popular belief, it is more prevalent in the East African region than in South Africa where he trained, even though the world ratio for sufferers stands at 1: 1000.

He says it could just be that more people in this part of the region are not aware of the existence of the disease, including some general practitioners.

Keratoconus manifests itself to a previously normal teenager and the condition deteriorates up to age 45 after which it assumes a permanent status by which time visibility is greatly and dangerously reduced.

Dr. Nkurikiye says the stages involved in treating the disease largely remain traditional. The first thing prescribed are glasses. Once they fail, the patient is put on contact lenses, first soft, then hard. Hard lenses, also known as Rigid Gas Permeable (RGP) are specially made after a patient has undergone fitting.

They are not locally made and have to be sourced from countries such as the US, Canada, England, India and Sri Lanka. And they don’t come cheap either. Some patients

react to some types and end up being comfortable with others as expensive as 240, 000 Rwf a pair. The problem with lenses is that they keep falling and once they fall, the patient cannot see and may step on them in an effort to look for them.

This has happened very often to Aduvuka, whose case is so advanced she only wears a particular type from England or America, costing Rwf 240,000. On average, she loses a pair every two months bringing her bill to roughly 1.5M Rwf a year.

“It’s very expensive for me.

Every time they get lost I cry.

Sometimes they get lost in the taxi when I am travelling and other people don’t understand what it is I am frantically searching for while crying and desperate,” says the HR consultant with KPMG in Nairobi.

“One time they got lost at Donholm Bus stop. I called my mother who came and we searched for an hour.

Passersby asked us what it was we were looking for and they wanted to help us but they didn’t know what they were looking for. We never found them,” she continues.

According to Dr. Nkurikiye, a new type of lens that does not fall off, called Scleral, has just been unveiled in the US but at a prohibitive cost of 3,000$ a pair. These ones sit on the white part of the cornea hence their ability to stay intact.

Dr. Nkurikiye further says

that when the eyes finally develop scars, then contact lens will not help. Only one and final option is available: corneal graft. He says one can either undergo a full graft where the entire cornea is replaced or partial graft(also called Lamellar transplant) where only the front part of the cornea is replaced leaving a big part of the back of the cornea intact. Dr. Nkurikiye says Lamellar transplant is preferable because the risk of rejection is less than it is for a full transplant.

Lions SightFirst Eye Hospital in Nairobi is the first and only hospital in East and Central Africa to establish an eye bank. The eye bank was established in 2009 because a large percentage of Keratoconus patients had been on the waiting list for transplant for long due to unavailability of tissue.

Tissue means a cornea that has been harvested from a person who has just died.

Initially, the few transplants done in Kenya, mostly at the biggest and oldest eye facility, PCEA Kikuyu Hospital in Thogoto near Nairobi, were performed because tissues were available due to donations from the US and India. However, donations are hard to come by these days hence the setting up of the eye bank. If one was to do a corneal graft at Lions Hospital, it would cost only Ksh 20,000(Rwf 160,000).

Cultural forces however, have made the facility lie largely under utilized. By 2011, only 6 corneas had been donated, all from Kenyans of Asian origin.

Dr. Nkurikiye says that so far, 62 Rwandans have had corneal transplants in Rwanda, 99% of them having Keratoconus with all the tissues donated from the US. The Government of Rwanda footed the bill for these 62 patients. He says a corneal graft is very expensive if it is done outside the country, on average, about 5,000$ per eye.

Dr. Nkurikiye further goes on to say that modern methods have been discovered that considerably slow down the progression of the disease thus delaying surgery. One such method is Collagen Cross Linking which decreases the degree of the deformity of the cornea. Another method is Intra corneal Rings which are inserted on the cornea to reshape the cornea.

The advice Dr. Nkurikiye gives is that people should quickly seek medical advice if any changes are noticed in the eye, especially rubbing of the eye and failing vision. Often, patients seek help when scarring has started giving doctors no option but to operate.

And this is exactly what has happened to Aduvuka set to undergo corneal graft on both eyes starting July of this year.

What is sad is that her brother, Leon, was also diagnosed with the same disease a short while ago. Because his has been detected early, he will undergo Cross Linking and Cornea Regularization, thus making him avoid the transplant altogether.

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health

Depression

By Athan Tashobya

By Athan Tashobya

Women are likely to suffer depression twice as often as men!

Depression is a kind of mental illness that can affect your physical as well as mental performance and in some severe cases, it can be life threatening.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide, and is a major contributor to the global burden of disease.

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Depression is a serious and pervasive mood disorder. It causes feelings of sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness.

Depression can be mild to moderate with symptoms of apathy, little appetite, difficulty sleeping, low self-esteem, and low-grade fatigue. People who suffer from depression are usually hopeless, guilty or worthless, their minds occupied with thoughts of death or suicide, anxiety and sadness. They feel too sleepy or even lack sleep, suffer from loss of appetite and weight loss. The opposite could be true; restlessness, difficulty in concentrating, difficulty in making decisions or memorizing, lack of energy or fatigue, lack of interest in activities one was associated with, chronic pains, headaches and digestive disorders.

If in any case you experience 5 or more of the above symptoms for a time period exceeding two weeks, chances are high that you have developed this disease.

It is suggested that you seek medical assistance by a qualified mental health professional as soon as possible.

Research done at the Department of Psychiatry, School of Medicine, Washington University, reveals that women experience depression about twice as often as men. “In fact, women are twice as likely to develop clinical depression as men. At least one in four women is likely to have an episode of severe depression at some point in life”. Unfortunately,

almost two-thirds of depression patients do not get the necessary treatment.

Why is depression more common in women than in men?

Biologically, experts believe that before adolescence, the rate of depression is about the same in girls and boys.

However, as puberty stage of development sets on, a girl’s risk of developing depression increases dramatically to twice that of boys. It is said the increased rate of depression in women is more likely related to changes in hormone levels that occur throughout a woman’s life.

These changes are evident during puberty, pregnancy, and menopause, or, after giving birth or experiencing a miscarriage. Further, these hormone changes that occur with each month’s menstrual cycle probably contribute to Premenstrual Syndrome (PSM), and Premenstrual Dysphonic Disorder ( PMDD) , severe syndromes marked especially by depression, anxiety, and mood swings that occur the week before menstruation and interfere with the normal functioning of daily life.

Besides, there are more factors than just biological ones that accelerate depression in women.

Naturally, women are more emotional than men and factors like loss (or remembering the loss) of a beloved one may be a clear cause of severe depression.

Other factors may include:

psychological and social stress such as loss of a relationship or job stress, divorce, family history, mood disorder and possibly use of certain medications. Depression can as well be genetically inherited. People having negative thinking, critical views about themselves and low self esteem are more at a risk of developing serious depression.

The good news is that depression can be treated and completely healed.

Researchers have proved that 60-80% of depression cases have been successfully treated. Below are the basic ways to beat depression:

happier. In so doing, we shall have time to rest, have peace of mind, do exercises, set goals, make friendships and eventually we shall learn to be grateful to ourselves…hence creating room for positive thinking.

Physicians at times recommend the use of Antidepressants, the commonly used drugs that help treat depression.

Research shows that 30 to 45%of depression patients have been cured by the use of Antidepressants. They are helpful in improving concentration, appetite, mood and sleep. A patient takes antidepressants for as long as the doctor advises.

The best way to treat depression is by psychotherapy and in some cases, close friends can be very crucial. “Talk” therapy has proven to be very beneficial.

Finding someone so close or a therapist to talk to helps one to pour out his/her heart and this may be very important in finding a possible solution to hopelessness and worthlessness. This may help a patient whose depression is related to negative thinking.

The trick is to have a positive attitude towards life.

Forgiveness. Many times people have been known to keep grudges for long depending on past tragedies that occurred. Some nationalities and religions keep them for generations! But the secret should be known to us that when we forgive, we remove this burden off our shoulders and put ourselves in a position to be much Jul - Sep 2013

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39

health

PRE-NATAL CARE using massage therapy to relieve stress

By Jocelyn Walmsley Jelsma

Expectant mothers around the world experience incredible changes in their bodies and emotions throughout the nine months of pregnancy. Hormones are rushing, weight is being gained, posture is adjusting, and a wide range of pregnancy discomforts are coming into play.

Although pregnancy is often celebrated with the joy and anticipation of welcoming new life into a family, sometimes these changes can cause women to feel fatigue, anxiety or stress.

In pregnancy, stress may appear in the form of headaches or muscle tension, and where there is more physical strain on a woman’s body, can exacerbate joint pain, back pain, or neck pain. For a mother to experience some relief, she can learn some relaxation techniques, as well as use prenatal massage to ease some of her discomfort!

Prenatal massage, when performed by a trained massage therapist, is a very safe, natural enjoyable, and relaxing touch 40

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therapy that has many benefits for the pregnant mother. Massage is used to relieve muscle tension, improve health, reduce stress and is an important component in women’s prenatal care. Research indicates that massage therapy in pregnancy can decrease symptoms of depression, relieve muscle aches, reduce anxiety in the mother and can even improve labor outcomes!

“Stress hormones” in pregnancy such as norepinephrine and cortisol affect both the mother and the baby. Studies on massage in pregnancy are showing that these “stress hormones” are reduced and seratonin levels are increased (a deficient level of this hormone can lead to depression) with regular massage. This is good news!

Women can choose to begin massage therapy at any point in their pregnancies, in the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd trimesters.

Although prenatal massage is a natural therapy, it is important to receive care from a trained prenatal massage therapist as she has received education and practice standards specific to pregnancy and massage needs of the pregnant woman. For instance, there are specific areas of the body to avoid massaging, such as the inner ankle, where uterine contractions can be stimulated through pressure points. Any woman who has experienced pre-term contractions or consistent Braxton-Hicks contractions should inform her massage therapist so that

she can avoid pressure points completely.

Women should discuss the benefits of massage with their prenatal care provider, midwife or obstetrician. In this discussion with her care provider, it’s important to assess any risks of prenatal massage, to be informed and to review any preexisting conditions that may be negatively impacted through massage. Some of these include: a previous high risk pregnancy, pregnancy induced hypertension, diabetes, preeclampsia, previous preterm labour, severe swelling, high blood pressure and severe headaches. Many therapists may decline massage to a woman who is still in her first trimester because of the increased statistics for miscarriage associated with the first trimester of pregnancy.

Consult with your midwife or obstetrician before beginning any new therapy.

A wide range of benefits are experienced by pregnant women undergoing massage therapy, which include the

Women can choose to begin massage therapy at any point in their pregnancies, in the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd trimesters.

and other weight bearing joints which are affected by weight gain. In a season of added physical and emotional stress, massage promotes relaxation and deep breathing, helps stabilize hormone levels by reducing anxiety in the mother, and fosters a mind body connection between the mother and the changes taking place in her body as she grows her baby. Women often describe feeling more relaxed, serene, and energized after having a prenatal massage. Many also report being able to sleep more comfortably.

The best position for a pregnant woman during massage is side-lying.

uncomfortable sensations experienced, or any areas of aches, strains, pains or sensitivities, will help the massage therapist provide a better and more relaxing massage for the pregnant mother.

The best position for a pregnant woman during massage is side-lying. Pillows may be added to ensure comfort. The most important thing to avoid is compression of the uterus or uterine ligaments, as well as avoiding lying flat on the back. That position reduces blood flow to the mother’s brain and also to the uterus. Prior to any appointment, it is important to verify in what position prenatal massage clients are placed.

Health care providers, mothers and massage therapists work together to ensure a more comfortable, relaxed, healthy and nurturing pregnancy experience. Women who take time to care for themselves during pregnancy often have a more positive outlook on their pregnancies and feel less discomfort! Pregnancy self-care includes: nutritional care, eating a healthy, well balanced diet, regular sleep (including naps), spiritual nurturing (prayer, meditation, worship), exercise, relational balance, possibly a reduced work schedule, and planned times of relaxation.

Communication is integral to appropriate prenatal massage.

Discussing how much touch pressure is desired, or any

So book that massage! Set some time aside to relax and enjoy these months of growing new life!

following: decreased pain in the pelvis and back, decrease in sciatica nerve pain, increased blood circulation, improved digestion, reduced fatigue, reduced swelling in the hands and lower legs, and alleviated stress on the knees Jul - Sep 2013

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gender

What

men

do not like

And would want women to know

By Jesse Kimani

Many a ladies would give anything to know what men think and what they do not like about them. But due to the fact that they are overly emotional to being told the truth, especially about how they look, most take it personally hence most men end up telling them what they want to hear. This may in the short run boost their esteem but it does not help them much especially when they discover the truth. A couple of my lady friends once asked me what men do not like because I am renowned for always speaking my mind and calling a spade a spade and here are some other things than men do not like but would rarely tell their women.

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Nagging Men tend to take their time to do some things since they have to think it through and plan for cause and effect of each decision or action.

So whenever a woman is always on his back reminding him and nagging him about something, this really irritates him and most even opt not to do whatever the lady wants all together. Men too also like being understood and if you want your man to do something, do not nag him about it but gently remind him and be sure he will do it. Just seek to know his plan instead of just demanding and complaining about it.

Cooking Every man loves a woman that can cook and not only cook but cook better than his own mother otherwise you may find yourself sitting on the sidelines as another woman whisks your man away. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and as much as that is a cliché statement, it is just the plain truth. Of late there has been an emergence of some career women who are beautiful, successful but are still single and every good man they land always bails out once the discover they cannot cook or if they stay, they always end up looking outside and the next woman who can feed your man has his heart.

Hygiene Some men may not be the cleanest or tidiest and hence may need a woman to help

with that and make them prim and proper and at least bring some semblance of order into their lives. But a dirty woman will repel any man because if you can barely keep tidy, what happens when you get a family? The house may always be a disaster and you may end up being an embarrassment to your husband and family and no man wants that. And if you can barely keep clean who would pass this virtue to your kids?

Gifts Men like down playing gifts especially for occasions like birthdays but as much as they do, they really appreciate it.

So when you do not give one yet they always give you one during your special occasions, it is a big deal though most may pretend to shrug it off.

Men also like functional gifts that they can use rather than impractical gifts that they will tuck away since they will never use them. Men are not the same though hence it would be nice to understand your man before you buy him a gift rather than just get him what someone got their man.

Mind Reading Men will always complain about this but it is the truth.

We like being told things as they are as we are not good at figuring out what is bothering you. Getting moody and angry at a man for a reason he has no idea of will always get you nowhere but angrier since he cannot read your mind. Hence if you are upset with a man and

he has no idea, just tell him why you’re upset. Throwing a tantrum will not make him a mind reader.

Weaves & Make up With this, I may be biased but it is a shared opinion among the many men that I have talked to. Men love women with natural hair be it dreads, natural, relaxed or braided but one thing that most do not like are weaves.

We understand some women need it due to the many years of neglect of hair or receding hairlines but we just do not get why a woman with perfectly great hair would put on a pathetic looking weave so as to save on salon costs, and you wonder why people look at you funny or whisper each time you enter or leave a room. For those who view weaves as a God send due to their hair issues, kindly ensure you get weaves that look good and are well maintained. It should not look like something died on your head and you retained it plus the smell.

Make up should be applied mildly and in beautiful women, it is not necessary.

Hence each lady should know what works for her so that she does not end up looking like a clown or a coloring book.

Men like their women looking awesome and most would go the extra mile to ensure that.

So when a woman’s dressing starts to slacken, most men will rarely show you off because no man wants his woman to be seen in bad light as it ends up being a bad reflection on him. So if your dressing is less than desirable and you wonder why your man no longer takes you along, now you know.

In dressing also, men are very visual so kindly keep things where they are supposed to be and what should not be visible, let it not be. No one wants to see your peeping bra straps, panties, panty lines.

Such cracks and the likes just put people off. Decency goes a long way in making a lady of substance.

Alcohol More and more women are taking up alcohol and some are even drinking men off the table. This seems cool but when a man decides to choose a woman to settle down with, no man will pick a woman that can drink like a fish. It may be cool at some point but it becomes embarrassing when it’s someone’s wife. This is because it implies that the woman may be having loose morals and no one wants to pass such morals to their kids.

Dressing A woman is a man’s treasure and every man wants to show off their woman at every occasion so the woman has to always look good.

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interior design

Make your

small

bigger

room appear

without moving a brick!

By Efua Hagan

Living or working in a small space can be rather restricting and can make one feel quite claustrophobic. If you can identify yourself with this, don’t be discouraged. A small room or space can provide a pleasant environment.

However, before this can happen it may be necessary to make some changes in decorating.

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of the house. This way, you’ll get more out of the mirror in the sense that it now provides a practical value while decorating your home.

Mirrors can decorate a small room while creating the illusion of a bigger space

Whether you decide to hang a mirror in a hallway, a dining room or a bedroom, consider the view and make sure that it is something worthy of a reflection. For example, a mirror opposite a window will reflect outdoor scenery and give the illusion of a second window.

Read on and discover how you can transform an area and make it look and feel larger without moving a brick!

Too Much of Everything is not Good The down side of small rooms is they easily get overcrowded with items, thus making the room appear even smaller. The easiest and most inexpensive way of enlarging a room is to avoid cluttering it. Too many things in a small room will only make it feel cramped. Carefully arrange those you want to have on display and store the rest out of sight, and feel the space open up. Even decorative elements when overused cause the same disorderly feeling; so use them sparingly.

Use Mirrors to Give Your Home Stunning Effects The use of mirrors is another way you can enlarge a room.

Although it requires some investment, the effect can be transforming. Mirrors come in

different shapes and sizes, and they have a wonderful effect of making a room appear bigger because they offer the illusion of more space.

Large mirrors are particularly effective in creating this impression effortlessly.

A large mirror in a hallway can be very effective. You can enhance it by placing a table beneath it with a vase of flowers, picture frames or craft pieces. With this arrangement, you will be able to have a last minute check on yourself before heading out

Furniture size and arrangement matters Pay careful attention to the size of furniture you chose.

Huge and bulky sofas may look great in a shop but in a small room they can be over dominant and leave no room for easy movement. If you find that reducing the size of furniture does not help much, or you are unable to buy smaller sofas, then consider taking out one or two items of furniture to create more space.

Use all the natural light you can get Any room will look larger if it’s well-lit, either by natural or artificial lights.

This is even more important in the case of

small rooms. When decorating a small room, make use of all the natural light you can by using light curtains, and opening the windows fully to allow in outdoor light. At night, incorporate a few lamps of different variations of both style and light intensities to fill the room with vibrancy.

Make your room spacious by using light warm colours Finally, let us consider the effect colours can make on our sense of space. Dark intense colours will make a room appear smaller than it already is, unless this is your intention; opt for light cool and warm colours for walls.

If the ceiling is low, paint it a lighter colour than the walls to make it appear higher. With this, using full length rather than half length curtains will add to the illusion. Also, for optimal results ensure that furniture pieces blend with the wall colour as this will make them less intruding and obvious.

Sometimes certain things are beyond our control, like the size of a room. This is especially true when you are renting the space and breaking down a wall to extend it isn’t an option. The best thing is to focus on what you can change, by being mindful of certain design aspects such as colour, patterns, furniture and lighting. Any small room can turn out to be your favourite room!

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career

Reference Etiquette

By Claire Aduvuka

After 8 years in his current job, Samuel has decided it’s time for a career move and a new challenge. While working on his CV, he has realised that he has some questions about the references section. Many of us go through Samuel’s predicament.

If you are in search of a new position, never underestimate the power of references.

Experts today point out that the process of contacting, prepping, and updating your references could take as much--if not more--time as other parts of a job search, such as writing your résumé and cover letter or preparing for an interview.

It’s no surprise that references are important--everyone who has ever filled out a job application knows that. Whether the spot you covet is working the line at Chez Lando or running the Sales and Marketing team at Rwanda Development Bank, references can be the make-or-break factor that determines whether or not you’re offered your dream job.

But candidates often drastically underestimate the amount of time, thought, and attention they should pay to the reference process.

Because job seekers have little control over what their past employers, professors, or mentors will actually say when contacted by a prospective employer, a sense of helplessness can 46

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sometimes lead to inaction.

As a result, many candidates initiating a job search do little more than drop a brief “heads-up” e-mail to their references, figuring that they have little else to do with the process.

In truth, virtually every aspect of your interaction with your references can impact the outcome of the process.

According to Michael Laskoff, job search expert and author of A Survival Guide for the Recently Unemployed, carefully managing the way you select, approach, and communicate with your references is one of the best things you can do to ensure a successful outcome to your job search. Here are a few tips to help guide the process: • Pick your references carefully. Select those most relevant to the position you are seeking and--let’s be frank--those who are most likely to have the highest opinion of you. Begin by making a list of all possible references and gradually winnow it down to four or five who you think will be the best bets.

• Skip references that may harbour mixed feelings towards you. If you never really “clicked” with the general manager at the media house you consider the high point of your résumé, it may be best to list that kindly chief editor who was your direct supervisor instead.

• Establish a tone of communication with your selected references that is warm and personable, humble and sincere. Initiate the process with a phone call or visit personally requesting permission to include them on your reference list. Schedule enough time for this task so that you won’t be rushed-spend some time chit-chatting and catching up, showing sincere interest in their life and accomplishments since you last spoke.

• Avoid asking references to embellish or exaggerate about your past performance.

At best, this will make them uncomfortable, and nervousness and hesitation are likely to peek through during a reference interview.

At worst, it could prompt them to bow out of the process altogether, not to

mention inflicting damage to your relationship.

• It’s okay to make a few gentle suggestions. On the other hand, it’s perfectly reasonable--helpful, even--to give your references a few pointers. Tell them a bit about the kind of position you’re seeking and suggest a few highlights or achievements that you think might be pertinent. That Journalist of the Year Award you won five years ago may have slipped your boss’ mind!

• Always say thanks. When you’re firmly ensconced in your new position, make it a point to thank each of your references for their time and effort. A handwritten thankyou note is your best bet. A gift along the line of flowers, candy, or tickets to a local sporting event is even better, especially for references with whom you have a lengthy personal history. Besides, you never know how long it will be until you need them to vouch for you again!

Reference etiquette can make or break your career. With these tips, your referencing should be much easier.

spiritual

The Power of Giving

By Anne Anjao I recall a time two of my friends had issues in their marriage because their husbands were very stingy.

On one Valentine, my husband and I set off, together with my friend’s fiancée then, to pay her a visit for she lived in another city. My husband and I stopped by a store and bought her lots of groceries.

However, I noticed my friend was not happy. Before long, the truth was out: even though we had come to see her baby and offer our congratulations, the man had only brought himself. In other words, he had turned up with nothing. Years later, buying his children even a packet of French fries was a very big deal. He earned good money but it would be banked while his wife struggled with the bills. It is not until she packed and left that it hit him.

Giving is powerful. The bible says it’s more blessed to give than to receive. The man above missed all the blessings when he held onto what was not his. We must remember that all the silver and gold belong to God and therefore He should be the first recipient of our gifts. Paying tithes, first fruits and offerings is not an option. Why? Because God calls us robbers. Robbers, mark you, not thieves!

And what benefits would accrue? The Lord has challenged us to test him in this. Then He will open all the windows of heaven and pour out such a blessing there would not be room enough to receive it. Consider Abraham who obeyed God’s call to offer his son Isaac as a sacrifice. It is a scene reminiscent of a movie. Father and son chatting on their way to worship, with the son innocently inquiring where the sacrificial animal was and the father giving a spiritual answer that the Lord would provide.

God never allowed Abraham to kill his son and instead blessed him immensely.

Abraham reaped material, spiritual and emotional benefits. He became known as the father of many nations.

He acquired great wealth and was well-spoken of all the days of his life.

That is the power of giving.

When you give, you benefit society. Think of the millions who have gone to school and picked up a livelihood courtesy of someone’s giving. Think of how many street children, gangsters and the like have been removed from the scene as a result of someone’s kind philanthropic gesture.

Giving also means you receive the blessing of emotional

satisfaction and tranquillity.

Knowing that you have helped alleviate suffering and that one soul is contented, gives you peace of mind. A person who likes to hoard stuff is not a happy person. He is always worried of losing it.

But a person who gives is truly blessed with the peace of God that suppaseth all understanding. We take peace for granted until we lose sleep over an issue. Then we begin to appreciate the peace that comes over us that makes us sleep like babies even though we are facing seemingly insurmountable challenges.

Man does not exist in a vacuum. Man is not an island.

Relationships are central to man, just as God had designed them. Giving therefore is a way to foster and cement these relationships. If you are the type that always evades events where money is being raised, be not surprised the day you will have a huge medical bill and people will simply vanish from your life.

There are those who say they have no money to give but who says you must give money? There is power in giving your time. Take time, go visit a prisoner, pray with them and they will always pray for God to bless you.

giving where we mortals are concerned, the greatest power of giving is demonstrated in God’s gift to mankind. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son so that whosever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life.

To understand the power inherent in this type of giving, one must understand the genesis. Adam and Eve sinned. They became naked.

Symbolically, God stripped them of all blessings and left them bare. These blessings were spiritual. From a holy perspective, man became a sinner. There was only one way to salvage the situation. Jesus, who is God, had to come and mingle with unholy, wicked man, suffer humiliation, die and resurrect.

The difficulties he experienced in the Garden of Gethsemane demonstrate the tough times he experienced.

Blessed be the name of the Lord because this extremely powerful gift has freed us. We have now been reconciled with God. We no longer are under condemnation. We are now seated together with God in the heavenly realm as a result of our belief and faith in the Lord. What greater gift would you want?

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wellness

Camphor Comfort

By Izela Barlow

What is Camphor?

Traditionally, camphor was an oil extracted from the bark and wood of the cinnamons camphora tree, native to Vietnam, China and Japan.

Today, camphor is also chemically manufactured from turpentine oil. It cools.

It stimulates blood flow. It disinfects. Medicinal use of the oil dates back to the Middle East around 600 AD, and it was revered as sacred in ancient Greece and Egypt.

People have used camphor to relieve pain, increase blood flow and treat infections.

Today, you will find camphor oil in products such as Vicks VapoRub and Robb ointment.

Usually, these products are rubbed on the skin or inhaled in steam to relieve congestion and pain. As a pain reliever, Camphor is often an essential ingredient of products that specialize in treating backaches and muscle and joint aches caused by arthritis and other inflammations. It’s rubbed directly on the skin as a cream or ointment. The user often feels a cooling sensation 48

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that adds to the feeling of pain relief.

How does Camphor work?

Although experts don’t know everything about how it works, camphor most likely stimulates nerve endings that are sensitive to the cold.

Camphor seems to relieve symptoms such as pain and itching when applied to the skin. It is also active against fungi that cause infections in the toenails. Camphor is used to treat several skin problems that cause pain, swelling and itching. It’s often an ingredient in over-the-counter lotions that numb nerve endings, which reduces the itching caused by hives, rashes and allergies. When mixed with menthol and other ingredients, or even on its own it can also promote easier breathing in people with colds and sinus congestion.

The medication works by temporarily easing the inflammation in the skin and muscle tissue and acting as a sedative to the nerve endings.

Camphor may also act as an anesthetic on nerves near the skin, further reducing painful symptoms related to arthritis or injury. The overall result is to reduce pain.

The benefits of using camphor ointment are well documented by both patients and doctors, though strict, official clinical trials have not been able to confirm the medication’s actual effectiveness. However, itchy skin, tight muscles, and swollen joints tend to subside fairly quickly after the ointment is applied.

INHALATION:

Camphor ointment can be bought at most good pharmacies without prescription. It is an overthe-counter topical cream commonly used to ease skin itching, chronic muscle pains and symptoms related arthritis. It is sold in many different sizes and concentrations, though doctors strongly urge patients to avoid using creams that contain more than 11 percent solutions.

CAUTION!

• One tablespoon of solution per quart of hot water is placed directly into a hot steam vaporizer, bowl, or washbasin. Sometimes 1.5 teaspoons of solution are added to a pint of water and boiled. The medicated vapors are breathed. This inhalation may be repeated up to three times a day.

A person who has chronic joint pain or severe muscle aches should speak with a doctor before using camphor ointment to make sure it is the best choice for treatment.

Don’t take camphor products by mouth. Ingesting camphor can cause severe side effects,

Dosing considerations for Camphor The following doses have been studied in scientific research:

APPLIED TO THE SKIN: • For itching and pain: A 3% to 11% ointment is typically used three to four times daily.

• For cough: A thick layer of 4.7% to 5.3% camphor ointment is applied to the throat and chest. The area may be covered with a warm, dry cloth or left uncovered.

• For osteoarthritis: A topical cream containing camphor as needed on sore joints for up to 8 weeks.

including death.

Do not use camphor on children. They tend to be more sensitive to the side effects. Keep camphorcontaining products away from children. Seizures and death can occur if these products are eaten.

Do not use camphor if: • You are pregnant or breast-feeding.

Body Image

Uniquely

By Efua Hagan

Body mass remains an important determinant to the perception of beauty globally.

Several factors determine one’s physique such as bone structure, dietary staple, genetics, and environment.

The effects of the Western entertainment industry are widespread over the world, and I confess that I too have fallen prey and occasionally been pressured to look a certain way, whether unconsciously or consciously.

On a few occasions, especially after the Christmas season, I must admit that I tend to add on a few kilos. I may not notice it at first until I begin to get comments along the lines of, “you’re putting on weight”, “you look different”, and the killer one of course being, “you are becoming fat, what is happening?” Perhaps you are familiar with the saying, ‘sticks and bones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’. I honestly wish that in such times, this saying would apply but no matter how hard I try to numb the effects of their words, they pinch my soul!

Crafted

magazines and on TV screens.

The truth is many women don’t like to be told that they are becoming bigger. And why is it that so many are under pressure (some more than others) to look a certain way?

Unfortunately the fashion, movie and advertising industries- particularly in the West have stamped unrealistic stereotypes on women as to what they should look like. These stereotypes have spread like a bush fire around the world, infiltrating already existing beliefs. Consequently, many women believe that if they don’t fit into these impracticable stereotypes, they are not attractive. This isn’t just unrealistic for the common woman to live up to.

Even models and movie stars are unable to fulfill these impossible standards and result to expensive clothing, plastic surgery, extreme makeup, and clever camera or airbrushing techniques to achieve the fantasy of perfection portrayed in

Whether big or small, I believe accepting that we are all uniquely crafted by God is an important step to fighting off a negative body image. In addition, avoiding the temptation to compare yourself to other women will do you good. For example, there is no point starving yourself attempting to look like Victoria Beckham when you’ve got a completely different bone structure to hers because no diet or exercise in the world can make that happen. The truth is, every woman has a unique body type and we need to learn to appreciate our own uniqueness and beauty.

I’ve often wondered who determines what the ideal body type is. If there was ever a debate about this topic I think it would go on forever.

In Europe and America, the slimmer figure is highly admired. However in other parts of the world, the “fuller” woman is considered to be the ideal shape.

In many African countries, for example if a young girl has returned home from boarding school and has lost weight, her mother, after recovering from the initial shock of seeing her seemingly starving daughter, will put her on a fattening course and I am a bare witness of that! I’ve also heard many people say that in Rwanda, bigger ladies draw more respect. So the ideal body shape is subjective to cultures and even individuals.

Our bodies are amazing structures and are life givers too, so it’s important to take good care of ourselves. A healthy lifestyle is a great way to feel good from the inside out. Rather than being dissatisfied or ashamed, we ought to do our level best to counter negative worldly influences and thoughts with a positive and healthy lifestyle, in addition to reminders of what we love about our bodies while accepting the aspects we may not like and can’t change. Just as Steve Maraboli once said, “There is nothing more rare, more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her imperfection, to me that is the true essence of beauty.”

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food

The

casserole

By Izela Barlow

A casserole originally refers to the deep cooking pot usually used to prepare a one dish meal. The casserole dish may be out of stoneware, glass or metallic; a heavier metal pot is preferred if you are not using a oven. The method of cooking is usually slow and unwatched, making it a most convenient way of preparing a healthy family meal in this day and age. A casserole can be prepared by layering ingredients in the casserole dish, covering it and popping it in the oven for about 1.5 to 2hours.

Alternatively you can make your casserole on the hob in a heavy metal pot. Below is a recipe for a hearty sausage casserole.

Ingredients: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 50

8 Good quality pork sausages, sliced into bite size pieces (about 6 pieces per sausage) Tbsp olive oil 1 onion, chopped 2 cloves of garlic, chopped 1 red pepper, chopped handful chestnut mushrooms, sliced handful of chopped aubergine 4 sun dried tomatoes Small glass red wine jar of tomato puree** 1 Tsp sugar 1/2 tsp paprika handful chopped basil A small handful of chopped parsley – to garnish THE DIVA

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** You can make your own tomato puree by simply skinning some well ripened tomatoes and blending them to a thick juice

1. Gently fry the sausage in a large pan (or use a wok if you have one) in the olive oil or vegetable oil until cooked through and golden brown. I recommend olive oil for retention of full flavours.

2. Remove sausage and keep to one side. Now, in the same pan fry the onions and garlic until softened. After 5 minutes or so add the peppers, mushrooms, aubergine and sun dried tomatoes, cook for a further few minutes then return the sausages to the pan.

3. Turn the heat up to medium high, add the red wine and cook for a few minutes to reduce slightly.

4. Add the tomato puree, sugar, basil and paprika and simmer for half an hour. (Or for as long as you want really - the longer it’s left the better the taste. it tastes amazing reheated the next day!)

5. Season to taste if liked and serve with fluffy rice, crusty bread or with pasta.

You could also serve with ubugali for a more local flavour. and serve on a large flat dinner plate.

Talk to

Aunt Umulisa I work in a large organization in the area of marketing. I am a 32 year old graduate and been working for the last 9 years as a marketing officer. 2 years ago, I changed jobs from a small firm to the current organization. I was surprised when 2 months ago I was promoted to head the marketing department despite my inexperience. Word has it that my work is exemplary and management was unanimous that I was the best for that job.

They use subtle tactics like withholding vital documents when called upon to submit them, spreading malicious rumours that I am sleeping with top management, influencing the other workers against me among others. The hostility is coming about partly because of the changes I have brought which have made them very busy, quite the opposite of what they were used to, and also due to the fact that I am a woman.

One thing is that this department was not doing well due to mismanagement. Because this company has a human face, it did not fire the previous holder of this office preferring instead to transfer him to another department in a different capacity.

Please help me as I do not like enmity with anybody.

This disharmony in the office is stressing me.

Josiane

While I was elated about the promotion, I had overlooked the challenges that were imminent. In two months, I have managed to turn the department around with the company winning contracts they would never have dreamed of. However, I have noticed two employees under me are not happy and are bent on doing everything possible to point me in bad light.

Dear Josiane, They say it gets very lonely at the top. As a leader, please expect it. Simply because you will and have already become the focal point of employee anger, fear and mistrust as they go through the change process.

If you have brought about drastic changes in two months, it can only mean employees must have been made to double their efforts. People fear change because they do not like the uncertainty associated with it. Employees have their own fears: will you turn out to be a slave driver or will you be gentle

and easy on them? Will you turn out to be the screaming, foul-mouthed boss or the easygoing boss?

Is it possible some of them might rub you the wrong way and lose their job?

Understand also that human beings are very different people. Some are antagonistic in nature while others are gentle souls. Some run businesses elsewhere and are never duly concerned very much about the office. This therefore means that not all will like you. There will always be that thorn in the flesh.

You will at times feel guilty making decisions that have powerful consequences on employees’ lives. For example, supposing your company is restructuring and each department head is asked to suggest the names of two employees to be retrenched. You will have a sleepless night, trust me.

You will be misunderstood, misinterpreted, not listened to.

I say all this because you need to be aware of the challenges of leadership if you are to maintain sanity, otherwise you are not cut out for it. Having the knack to rake in contracts

for your employer is one thing. Good interpersonal relationship is another thing. It is commendable that your employer is smiling all the way to the bank but you need to work smart with regard to these two gentlemen who still seem hang up about the past regime.

I would suggest you maintain good relationships with the employees. This is not to say that you lay your guard down. In fact these two will be looking for ways to nail you. You will continue to discharge your duties impeccably and to maintain integrity at the work place. You will continue to be professional. It will be difficult but you must ignore the dirty rumours about you. You will ignore their condescending discriminative attitude towards you. If management had no problem making you head when they knew you are a woman, these two chauvinists should not put you down.

These two will eventually tone down or find themselves out. It is your record that will speak on your behalf.

Do you have queries? Send them to auntumulisa@gmail.com Jul - Sep 2013

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