Thank you for once again joining us down here in the ditch of Colorado College. We pride ourselves on offering you the unregulated filth and cess you will only find here. In pace with all of the leadership changes happening both at CC and throughout the world, we have important and difficult information to share. None of us are leaving.
You heard it here first - the job prospects for the editors of The Disincentive are so poor that we’ve decided to take the radical, the brave, the revolutionary decision to just give up. We’re just gonna lie down for a while. We’re planning on just hanging out after graduation. Hell we wouldn’t be the first. There’s not one but TWO guest articles this week about our forefathers (fore-daddies?) doing just that.
You’re probably thinking to yourself - how could people so hot, so funny, so undeniably charismatic not have like an automatic offer to be the new friends of Taylor Swift? Truly, we’re as baffled as you. We were under the impression that we would be able to just appear on the job market and immediately receive the news that, simultaneously, the United Nations, the Peace Corps, The Tonight Show, and the NFL are in an all-out bidding war for our employment. But nooooooo, the Career Center says we need things like “a resume” and “a LinkedIn” and “marketable skills” (and they said this during women’s history month no less? Absurd.)
So yes, we’re just gonna stick around at this school where we're still so deeply protected from the real world. We’re gonna worry about our little meetings, worry about which parties we’ll go to, worry about our silly little papers and paper little sillies. There’s certainly worse places to be.
Like grad school. That’s a worse place.
You can’t get rid of us, Your Disincentive Editors editors@thedisincentive.com - @the_disincentive
Archived Documents Reveal Concept of CC to be “Just a Little Joke”
Late Monday afternoon news broke of priceless founding documents pertaining to the origins of Colorado College being uncovered in Palmer basement. The documents were found after a minor explosion resulting from faulty experiment equipment in a principles of macroeconomics class.
The document, which was dated 1870 and signed by founding members of the school, revealed shocking details about the ideology of the institution.“We believe it is our sacred duty to honor and foster the greatest minds the West has to offer. We also believe there’s places like Stanford and the Ivies that already exist, so we’re gonna leave that to them.”
“Instead we’ll take the richies who want a granola school experience alongside some name recognition and call it a day.”
Why is Zeke Lloyd Still Here?
- By AnonymousGuest reporters from the Disincentive confirmed this week that Zeke Lloyd ‘23 is still on campus. Considering his recent graduation during the December ceremony, this comes as a surprise to many campus community members. According to dispatches from our reliable team of enhanced surveillance squirrels, Lloyd continues to participate in his usual array of unhinged activities, seemingly unaware that he is no longer a student. His presence puzzles faculty, staff, administrators and students.
“Last Monday he offered me an edible at 8:50 a.m.,” said Tommy Ryan ‘25. “I told him I had class in ten minutes, but he just laughed and said he had a job interview at 8:45. He kept on giggling for a while then gobbled down what must have been at least 30 milligrams of THC.”
