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Dr. Timo Lochocki joins Davidson for an election-filled semester

November 28, 2018 Erin Majors ‘19 writes about World AIDS Day and its observance at Davidson

Activism and Athletics intersect as campus responds to kneeling protests within the NFL

Volume 114, Issue 11

Revive your Christmas Spirit with these 10 festive campus sights!

Marijuana at Davidson BETSY SUGAR ‘21 STAFF WRITER

joyable to the student body. They are also exploring improvements to the Outpost’s evening culture. One of the reasons Davidson brought Summit to campus in the fall of 2013 was to create, in Helfrich’s words, “a non-Patterson Court, non-Martin Court drinking culture — a place for juniors and seniors to go and have some wine and not feel like they were at a frat party.” “That never really took off, but I think we’re willing to reinvest some energy and effort into that if we determine there is an appetite for it on campus,” continued Helfrich. The students sent out a comprehensive survey to the student body several weeks ago and received 471 responses. According to the survey, each year the percentage of students who agree with the

n November 6, 2018, Michigan voted to legalize recreational marijuana, and voters in Missouri and Utah legalized marijuana for medical purposes. North Dakota voters, who also had a marijuana legalization measure on their ballot, voted no, and shut down the bill. Michigan joined nine other states and the District of Columbia in legalizing marijuana for recreational use, and Missouri and Utah joined thirty states, in addition to D.C., to allow medical use of the drug. Canada also legalized the drug country-wide in their October elections. Over this past decade, more states, counties, and cities have moved to decriminalize or legalize marijuana in some form. There is an important difference between legalization and decriminalization. Decriminalizing an act, such as possession of marijuana, means that the law treats possession similarly to a speeding ticket, resulting in a fine instead of jail time. Often, after a state moves from decriminalizing to legalizing an act, such as marijuana possession, the question of those serving time in prison on possession charges arises. Sociology professor Dr. Natalie Delia Deckard explained, “Historically, the punishment that you receive for a crime remains irrespective of changes to the criminal code [...] What it also means is that reductions in criminal status are also not retroactive.” In Michigan, such policy will occur. The new laws address current use of marijuana and will not act as retroactive immunity. Deckard clarified that not all hope was lost for prior convictions; “What will happen in practicality is people with marijuana convictions will have an easier time in front of parole boards.” Once these laws go into effect, marijuana will be treated similarly to alcohol with strict production regulations and a 21 year old age minimum for recreational use. North Carolina, much like the rest of the US, has moved to decriminalize marijuana in very small quantities, since around 2011. Possession of 0.5 ounce or less of marijuana is a misdemeanor and results in a $200 fine. Possession of more than 0.5 and up to 1.5 ounces requires 1-45 days in jail and a $1,000 fine, but is not listed as a felony. If a person is caught with more than 1.5 ounces, the crime is a felony and will result in jail time. As a result of Davidson’s location in a state in which

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By the end of the semester, five students will pitch a plan maximize profits at Summit Outpost. Photo by Emma Brentjens ‘21

Class Filters Feedback on Drinking Culture, Summit Outpost HOPE ANDERSON ‘22 STAFF WRITER AND WEB EDITOR

right and early on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, many students are en route to Chambers, Wall or another academic building on campus. Elif Kaya ‘19, Kamran Shahbaz ‘19, Hermione Su ‘19, Jesus Ibarra ‘20, and Willem Boelhouwer ‘20 have a slightly farther walk. Their 8:30am class — an independent study in partnership with Summit Coffee Company — meets in the Hurt Hub. In the classroom, the students act as consultants, advising the Outpost on a variety of assignments, including their revamped late night option. Summit co-owner and CEO Brian Helfrich ‘07 and COO Andrew Kelleher

‘14 attend almost every class, though the course is mostly student run. Dr. Fred Smith, an economics professor and the course’s advisor, thinks the class’s structure will allow the students to come away from the semester with certain takeaways. “It has provided challenges in ways that a traditional course might not have,” said Smith. “I think they’ve had to learn a lot about group dynamics and working together.” 2018 marks the Outpost’s sixth year on campus and the first year of its new lease. One of the college’s new stipulations for its operation requires that the Outpost be open 11pm - 2am on Fridays and Saturdays (also known as “late night”). The students’ goal is to make this requirement profitable for Summit and en-

Student EMTs Alleviate Campus Transports

JULIA KNOERR ‘21 STAFF WRITER

he Davidson Fire Department once relied entirely on volunteers, many of whom were Davidson College students. However, increasing calls and training standards challenged volunteers to meet requirements and staff fire engines. In an e-mail, Davidson Fire Department Chief Bo Fitzgerald ’99 illustrated, “The department ran around 270 calls my senior year in 1999. This year, we’ll respond to roughly 1600 calls for service.” Consequently, paid firefighters from larger departments replaced volunteers, eliminating opportunities for Davidson students. In 2016, the fire department began training Davidson students as Emergency Medi-

cal Technicians (EMTs) to address growing call demand. Fitzgerald stated, “The biggest goal…was to lighten the load for our downtown engine company. Every time the engine responded to the college for a call, this meant that it was not available to respond to other calls in town.” In an e-mail, Associate Dean of Students and Director of Residence Life Jason Shaffer specified the program’s intention “to reduce the impact [of] medical evaluations for intoxicated students.” The number of campus medic transports has varied over the past three years; Campus Police Chief Todd Sigler shared that in 2016, 26 students were transported, but that number rose to 38 in 2017. For 2018, there have been 23 transports to date. The new program focuses specifically on

Emergency Medical Services (EMS). Fitzgerald remarked, “With the [Davidson] academic workload, it probably isn’t feasible for students to spend roughly 300 hours training to be a firefighter. But half of our calls aren’t fire calls at all—they’re EMS calls.” EMT positions also require significant time commitment. Students work eight 14hour shifts per semester on Friday or Saturday nights. Each shift lasts from 6pm to 8am. Cam Hall ’21 explained that “training is a full course load, so last semester I spent probably 200 hours [on] coursework, and that includes 72 hours of ride time, plus a lot of Saturdays… and Thursdays in class.” Fitzgerald commented on the program’s work-school balance, sharing, “The college has been very supportive so far, and we try to

make sure that our team members maintain a good balance between academics and their duties as EMTs. This means that students must maintain a minimum GPA [of 2.5] (we check this periodically). Academics come first, and we try to reinforce this.” Conversely, Mia Guzynski ’19 remarked, “I think it’s very challenging to balance with school…It feels like you have got an on-campus job that you don’t get paid for.” As a next step, Hall and Ricky Granger ’21 believe students should receive academic course credit. Within the program, Granger finds coordinators accommodating to students’ needs. He also recognizes less flexible aspects, such as study abroad: “obviously you’re missing a lot

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News

Inside Davidson’s Weed Policy CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

marijuana is not legal in any form, thr student handbook reflects those laws. The handbook ranks disciplinary action based on the severity of the drug in accordance with North Carolina legislation. For instance, the possession penalty for marijuana, a VI drug, which defines as different forms of marijuana, allows for up to three strikes. The first resulting in a $100 fine, a drug education program, and contacting parents. The same is true for a second offense, except the fine is $200. Finally, a third strike results in suspension for one semester after the semester of the third strike. For athletes, the rules are even more stringent due to NCAA policy. The first two offenses result in a year suspension from their sport for each violation. If a third strike were to occur, the athlete would no longer be eligible to play for Davidson. Harder drugs, like prescription drugs, cocaine, and the like, are listed as “all other controlled substances” in the student handbook, result in immediate suspension for at least one semester past the semester of the infraction for both non-athletes and athletes. That distinction is based upon the other laws in North Carolina, which has not decriminalized any other drugs. However, the most interesting difference in repercussion is that between underage consumption of alcohol and any possession of marijuana. Both are illegal, and both are relatively decriminalized. In North Carolina, a minor in possession of alcohol can result in a $200 fine and community service, which is similar to that of the laws concerning marijuana. Both acts are illegal, yet underage consumption of alcohol at Davidson is treated much more lightly and is unlikely to lead to suspension. Even though some rules are more reflective of legislation

than others, Deckard pointed out, “[Private institutions] create this entire parallel policing structure to make it so that its members / its students don’t have to deal with the justice system as a whole.” In the handbook Davidson repeats that the policies

are in place to protect the students. Perhaps that is true, but it may exist to shield students, not from harmful substances, but rather, as Deckard put it, from “the harsh glare of the public.”

Students Pour Over Ideas for Summit CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 statement “the drinking culture at Davidson is problematic” rises, ranging from 28% of first years up to 58% of seniors. Shahbaz thinks that trend is indicative of spending more time on campus and better understanding students’ relationships to alcohol. “Maybe workloads increase after your first semester, maybe stress increases… that gives into you thinking ‘well, maybe people are using drinking as a mechanism to cope with stress,’” said Shahbaz. Shahbaz and his peers in the course think the Outpost can be one of those alternatives. “It gives people that don’t want to go to F [Armfield], that don’t want to necessarily drink like people do at F, a place to go,” said Boelhouwer.

During its first year on campus the Outpost opened the entire building during the late night hours, but ran into sanitary issues regarding the bathrooms and unwanted encroachment from “down the hill” culture. “They’ve had experiences where people come in and they don’t respect the space the way they should. That really puts the staff in a tough position, especially if it’s student staff,” said Kaya. Still, the students think they can create a warm, inviting, and social environment on the patio. They’ve already experimented with space heaters and hope to roll out other changes, possibly including pizza and drink bundles and additional Outpost-sponsored events. At the end of the semester, the students will assemble a 50 page business proposal to present to the company.

The project has faced challenges, one of which is a school prohibition on the advertisement of alcohol. “Candidly, it’s a little counter-intuitive… I understand that [the administration] doesn’t want us to promote a binge drinking culture, but I think anyone that’s had a drink at the Outpost doesn’t think we’re promoting binge drinking,” said Helfrich. “I hope that’s something the college is willing to reconsider over the next five years.”

thinks Davidson can go even further to promote entrepreneurship. He has proposed to President Carol Quillen that the Outpost be entirely student-run. “Spending your senior fall learning how to run the Outpost and actually having to run it, I think is amazing, hands-on experience for anyone who wants to be entrepreneurial after college,” said Helfrich. “If [Davidson] really wants to push practical entrepreneurship, then

In the classroom, the students act as consultants, advising the Outpost on a variety of assignments, including their revamped late night option. There are currently no concrete plans for a similar course in the future, but Helfrich

that is a really cool opportunity that I’d be willing to invite students into.”

Examining Fire Dept’s EMT Program CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 of shifts, and that’s not ideal for the program… because you have to keep up with continuing education.” Despite high time commitments, the EMT program widely benefits students and community members. Guzynski noted, “You get a lot of actual patient contact, which is not something that, as an undergrad, is really open [with] a lot of other volunteer positions.” While many students participate for volunteer hours, she indicated, “It’s not the most efficient way to get active volunteer hours because I’ve had 5 or 6 shifts where I’ve gotten zero calls.” However, calls give early, hands-on medical experience, making the program worthwhile. Furthermore, Guzynski added, “You get to see the college from a very different perspective because [EMTs] respond first to [incidents] like the druggings or cases of sexual assault.” Additionally, student lead Hannah Doyle ’19 strongly supports the program’s mission, explaining, “…my [first] year here, I lived on third Belk, and the first weekend on campus, there were 16 transports from Belk alone. That blew my mind, so I wanted to help the community.” Beyond medical training, the program offers practice in professional settings. Interactions with firemen or patients in the Davidson and Charlotte areas , for example, provide useful experience. Jonathan Kim ’19, also a student lead, added, “It’s a really fast-paced job you have to do [in] a really high stress environment.” Thus, students can assess career paths, such as pre-hospital work and emergency medicine. He emphasized, “It really clearly lets you know whether you’re right for a field like that or not.”

The role also presents personal challenges. Hall expressed, “It can be emotionally taxing. I don’t know how many other EMTs have had the experience of a patient dying, but it’s hard.” The position requires significant responsibility, and students hold liability. Doyle explained, “In a medical scenario, we can be held liable if we were trained to do something and we did that thing wrong…that’s why currently we’re still with the firemen when we go on calls.” They must ensure EMTs are within protocol and comfortable with their skills. Like other medical professionals, EMTs take confidentiality under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability

Transports Per Year 2016: 26 2017: 38 2018: (to23 date)

Act of 1996. Hall shared, “There certainly are challenges with confidentiality because legally we can’t say much about our patient interactions, and the laws are technically only referring to identifying information. I’ve seen students on campus and had patients on campus, and seeing them afterwards is not a big deal, but I just have to make sure that I never say anything.” Similarly, Guzynski noted, “It’s kind of challenging with a small campus, but it is very serious.” Confidentiality is crucial to the program; Fitzgerald emphasized, “The success of this program depends on students being able to trust that those coming to their aid will not go out and gossip about or publicize their private information.” Because the program is relatively new, it has also faced organizational challenges and improvements. Guzynski noted, “What I signed up for is absolutely not what this turned out to be. I was in the first class that ever ran, so obviously there were a lot of problems, and there wasn’t a formalized way of collecting feedback…But the program is so much better run now.” EMTs have not received help from anyone affiliated at the college, but student leads hope to increase interaction. Kim elaborated, “Right now, we’re working on setting up a station on campus grounds so we can respond faster and independently. We hope to be entirely student run [by fall 2019].” Fitzgerald feels optimistic about the program’s direction. On campus, the EMT program has begun improving student awareness and responsibility around drinking. Kim offered, “We’ve seen a steady decline in the number of transports we’ve had to do over the years, so I’d say that’s a good sign that there is positive change that’s happening.”

3 Timo Lochocki Offers Policy Expertise

November 28, 2018

JAKE CARVER ‘21 STAFF WRITER

his fall, Davidson welcomed Dr. Timo Lochocki, who is serving in the semester-long role of the James K. Batten Visiting Professor for Public Policy. Unlike most of the Batten Professors before him, who tended to be veteran American journalists, Lochocki is a German expert in European public policy and former fellow of the German Marshall Fund. His doctoral thesis correctly predicted the rise of right wing populism in Germany; since then, he has been respected as a voter-behavior guru among academics. His writing has been featured in The Economist, The New York Times, POLITICO, and many other major publications. Dr. Scott Denham, Charles A. Dana Professor of the German Studies Department, described Lochocki’s politics as “nonpartisan… but committed to the idea of a cooperative Europe and a functioning social market economy.” Unfortunately, Lochocki’s current political forecast does not bode well for European unity—he predicts a “conservative rollback” in Germany that would include stricter border laws and rapprochement with Russia. Although much of Lochocki’s work emphasizes the power of growing right-wing extremism, Denham calls him a “harbinger of bad news” rather than an endorser of it. “He talks about what the center needs to do to win back voters [from right-wing extremism],” said Denham. “It’s difficult medicine sometimes… to say that the center has to move right without alienating its supporters.” Denham was instrumental in recruiting Lochocki to Davidson. They met two years

ago when Denham hosted Lochocki through the American Council on Germany, an organization that supports transatlanticism through educational visits between American and German professionals. After finishing his fellowship with the German Marshall Fund last summer, Lochocki and Denham discussed taking on a temporary position at Davidson. “The Batten position was available, the Department Chair Ken Menkhaus and the rest of the Political Science Department were enthusiastic, and the Dean of Faculty Wendy Raymond made it happen,” said Denham. To Lochocki, one benefit of coming to Davidson was the exposure to new ideas. He has expanded his political expertise by learning from fellow professors. “[Discussing with faculty] has been very fruitful. I have been learning about American policies, constitutional law, and political communications, among other things,” commented Lochocki. “Dr. Menkhaus told me stories and insights about Africa that I would have never thought possible.” Lochocki’s professorship also coincides conveniently with major German elections. While he admits that it was odd being abroad for the Bavarian state elections in October, which he analogizes to an American midterms in terms of importance, he will return to Germany before the vote deciding Angela Merkel’s successor as the chair of the Christian Democratic Union. These elections have been topical in Lochocki’s classes, POL 269 (Crises in the EU) and POL 448 (Populist Politics—The Case of Germany). “In class we often talk about who is being appealed to and who the target is,” explained Claire Brantley ‘21. “How did Trump

Dr. Timo Lochoki has spent the fall 2018 semester at Davidson teaching two political science courses. Photo by Emma Brentjens ‘21 gain so many voters? We can look at Germany… as a point of comparison and reference.” “We are expected to do our own research on a specific subject… for example, in Crises in the EU, to start the xsemester we were all assigned a region in Europe and were responsible for debriefing each other on that region each class,” Brantley continued. Lochocki has been pleased with the level of dedication his students have had to their research. “[My students] are much more eager to work than I expected. In Europe, when people are [in their late teens and early twenties] they are still in high school and not as open to new topics,” he said. “[My students] like to talk and learn quickly—and I learn a lot from them. They pose questions that European stu-

dents would never ask, because to them it is either redundant, obvious, or they don’t care.” “In class I talk for about twenty minutes, and then the students do the rest. This is only possible because I have a selective bunch of committed students in a great setting.” Lochocki has also emphasized networking in his classes, and required his students to contact German government officials. Even when he returns to Germany, Lochocki himself is committed to being a contact for former students looking to work or study in Europe. “This was a terrific opportunity for me because I have engaged in topics that represent politics in a globalized world,” said Lochocki. “Every conversation to me has been a tremendous intellectual feast.”

Crime Log NOVEMBER 15TH

Agenda

Takeaways

Attendance

LIZZIE KANE SGA CORRESPONDENT

93%

28 30

Time Reported

Description/Location

11/04/18 at 0120 hrs

Underage Consumption Belk, Dean Referral

11/08/18 at 1846 hrs

Larceny Misdemeanor Duke, Further Investigation

Poss. of Weapon on School

Tardy: Andres Sanchez ‘19 (Unex.), Jesus Ibarra ‘20 (Unex.), Kate Bock ‘19 (Ex.) Absent: Jack Heaps ‘20 (Ex.), Jack Shumway ‘19 (Unex.)

11/09/18 at 0236 hrs

There are empty boxes of feminine products provided by SGA in some bathrooms around campus. SGA plans to refill them. Transportation to the airport will be provided for students during the end of the exam period. SGA will vote to provide funds for PPGA’s “wellness vending machine” after Thanksgiving break. PB&J sandwiches will be provided at Armfield on Fridays and Saturdays for the rest of the semester. Students and faculty are working to revise the Honor Code in light of recent events. Student concerns voiced in the Google Form regarding the recent events are being discussed. Most of the meeting was devoted to coming up with plans to build community and boost the mood on campus; none of these plans have come to fruition, and it is unclear whether any of them will. Multiple SGA members appeared disengaged: four people were watching TV on their laptops, one person was doing homework, and another was texting.

11/09/18 at 2130 hrs

Poss. of Controlled Subs.

11/11/18 at 0131 hrs

Injury to Real Property

11/11/18 at 0142 hrs

Underage Consumption

11/15/18 at 0835 hrs

Larceny Misdemeanor

11/18/18 at 0240 hrs

Underage Consumption

1. PPGA Proposal 2. Google Form Updates 3. PB&J at Armfield Initiative 4. Announcements

Property (Knife) Jamieson, Dean Referral Connor, Further Investigation

Ridge Road, Inactive

Armfield, Dean Referral/Transport

Vail Commons, Further Investigation

Belk, Dean Referral

Perspectives

Revisiting Davidson’s History of HIV and AIDS ERIN MAJOR ‘19 HIV is still a problem and Davidson is not immune to it. 1 in 150 people in Mecklenburg County are living with AIDS (AIDSVu, 2015). Mecklenburg County has the highest prevalence rate of any county in North Carolina (MCHD, 2018). Despite new medications that help prevent and treat HIV, this disease is very much still a problem that we need to be aware of. However, it’s also important to remember the ways in which historically-disenfranchised people, specifically men who have sex with men, people of color, sex workers, and people who use drugs are disproportionately affected. Throughout this semester, I have been involved in an independent study class under the guidance of Dr. Wessner investigating the biological and social impacts of HIV and AIDS with three other students. We each entered this class with our own particular interests and experiences in this realm. Mia Hodges worked at the Mwandi Mission Hospital, Abby Fry conducted research in Ghana on reproductive healthcare, Hartlee Johnston worked at

an LGBTQ+ health nonprofit, and I worked at a harm reduction organization and needle exchange program. We each were able to bring our individual experiences to deepen our group’s discussion of the various scientific papers and books we read and movies we watched.

Davidson was not left unaffected by the AIDS epidemic of the 80’s and 90’s. At least fifteen students and one professor passed away due to this disease. As the semester went on and we began to discuss what we wanted our final project for this class to look like, the topic of HIV on Davidson’s campus emerged. Though we each had knowledge on the AIDS Crisis both in the United States and abroad, none of us had ever heard much about the ways in which our campus was impacted by these events. We decided to expand the existing programing for World

#Throwback From the February 17, 1992, Edition

This semester, The Davidsonian introduced the #Throwback series by republishing texts from The Davidsonian archive related to current campus discourse. Over the course of the semester, I spent hours pouring over articles in the archive--searching for pieces that would give historical context to issues discussed on campus. We re-published a speech delivered by then president Bobby Vagt ‘69 that appeared in the September 12, 2001 issues of the paper as a framework for processing tragedy. The removal of Mobikes from Davidson’s campus seemed to mimic the fate of Davidson’s Red Bike program described in the November 12, 2003, edition of the paper. Questions about Davidson’s Humanities curriculum posed by young alumni had previously been discussed in the October 7, 1997, issue. Our school had faced these problems before. We could learn from those who had seen and written about these issues. Revisiting our past is critical at this particular political and social moment. Even with the ability to identify systemic inequality, institutional racism, or cyclical poverty as the root causes of current national issues, the ability to propose or enact policy is connected to an understanding of what has worked in the past. The student voices in the archives help to carry the weight of our history--giving us space to process the present. Kayla Edwards ‘20 Perspectives Editor

AIDS Day to encourage students to better understand the history of this infection both broadly and on Davidson’s campus, as well as to see that HIV is still an important and relevant issue. Our goal was to tie in several parts of campus for a series of exhibits and events that would be visible to our entire Davidson community. Davidson was not left unaffected by the AIDS epidemic of the 80’s and 90’s. At least fifteen students and one professor passed away due to this disease. In 1994, the AIDS Memorial Quilt was brought to campus and was displayed in the Johnston Gym, which is now the Union. This Quilt is being brought back to this campus this year, from November 26th to December 2nd in the Union Atrium, and will feature four panels that each include the name of one of these Davidson students. Students and community members will have an opportunity to create AIDS ribbons and paper quilt squares to honor those they know impacted by HIV. On Tuesday November 27th and Thursday November 29th during common hour, materials from the library archives will be displayed in the Library Fishbowl that explore Davidson’s history with HIV and AIDS, as well as a look into the history of the LGBTQIA+ com-

munity on this campus. In honor of World AIDS Day on December 1st, on the day before (Friday, November 30th), Commons will be serving red ribbon cookies, the sculptures around campus will be covered for the Day With(out) Art, and Visual AIDS will be screening their annual documentary series in the Wall Atrium at 4:30. This series of events promoting awareness of both the former and current issues surrounding HIV and AIDS, including the ways in which it has impacted our campus, are intended to reach every student on campus and make it impossible to overlook the fact that HIV remains an issue today. Please join us for any and all of these events, as well as taking a look at the display cases in the library featuring a number of items from the library archives relevant to Davidson’s history with HIV. Erin Major‘19 is a Public Health and Education Policy major from Weston, Connecticut. Contact her at ermajor@davidson.edu

Sports

First-Year Athletes to Watch: Part Two Women’s Basketball: Cassidy Gould

DREW EASTLAND ‘21, ANDREW ERLER ‘22, & BEN CUTNER ‘22 SPORTS WRITERS Men’s Basketball: Luka Brajkovic Standing at 6’10”, Luka Brajkovic enjoys a view of the world that most people don’t. He joins the Davidson basketball team from Feldkirch, Austria, where he was a member of the U-18 National Team and played in the FIBA U-18 Championships. As the team gears up for their season, Brajkovic emphasized the task he had at hand as the team looked to recover from senior losses. “We as [first-years] have to be able to contribute right away.” The team looks to the NCAA tournament as a goal, and Brajkovic is confident he can be a difference maker in achieving that.

Cassidy Gould joins the Women’s Basketball team from Melbourne, Australia. The first in her family to play basketball, she started at age five. As a representative for Australia at the U-17’s Oceania Championships, Gould is no stranger to the big stage and brings a pedigree of experience to the team. This season, she hopes to continuously improve as a player and wants to help bring the team to an A-10 championship as they get ready to start up in early November.

Wrestling: Mitch Trigg Mitch Trigg joins the Davidson wrestling team this winter all the way from Foley, MN. He has been wrestling for 13 years. At Foley High School, Trigg was a three-sport athlete for all

four years, playing as a right tackle in football, throwing shotput on the track and field team, and wrestling as a heavyweight. During his junior year, he won the wrestling state tournament and placed second the following year. Trigg says he chose Davidson because of the academic reputation, a deep trust in the coach, and a desire to pair up against other Division 1 wrestlers.

Men’s Swimming: Thacher Scannell Thacher Scannell was a standout swimmer at Brunswick School in Greenwich, CT, and for the Greenwich Marlins, his club team. Scannell was named an All American this past season by the National Interscholastic Swim Coaches Association. For Davidson, Scannell will split time between backstroke and freestyle, likely in the 200 and 500 meter disciplines. Scannell said the team is already operating as “one big

strong unit,” pointing to strong senior leadership and the work ethic and determination of the first-year class.

Women’s Swimming: Hope Carpenter Hope Carpenter was an All-State and Scholastic All-American swimmer at Ragsdale High School in Greensboro, NC. Carpenter specializes in the 100 and 200 meter backstroke. Carpenter says she is best in the 100 meter, but that it is a “terrifying” event because “one mistake can mess up an entire race.” This past season, Carpenter was a finalist in the 100 meter backstroke at the NCHSAA 4A state championships. For Carpenter, transitioning from high school to college athletics and academics has been “tough, but a good tough.” She is excited for the coming season and to contribute to the team.

NFL Kneeling Debates Dominate Politics, Athletics HARRIS ROGERS ‘21 STAFF WRITER

Weekly Sports Update

n August 14, 2016, former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick chose to kneel during the national anthem for the first time. He made this decision in order to use his platform as a prominent athlete to bring attention to systemic injustices that target people of color within the United States. In particular, Kaepernick was concerned with police shootings of African-Americans, which he saw as an indicator of a society-wide lack of social justice for minority groups, a view strengthened by the frequent acquittal of officers involved in these shootings. When first questioned about his protests, Kaepernick defended himself, stating that he was “not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color.” He was soon joined by other NFL players, including his former teammate Eric Reid and Seattle’s Jeremy Lane, who also felt their public statuses could serve a purpose in the pursuit of social justice. These early protesters were joined by eleven other players during Week 1 of the 2016 NFL season. The protest was immediately contentious and quickly became a nationally debated issue. Many were quick to condemn Kaepernick and his fellow protesters, accusing them of not respecting the flag, the ideals it stands for and the service members who have fought and died to defend these ideals. However, Kaepernick also received an outpouring of support from those who felt this protest was an act of patriotism, bringing needed attention to issues of race that have long-challenged the United States. The debate has permeated the highest levels of American political discourse and has become a favorite talking point of President Donald Trump and other prominent political figures. To many observers, the ridicule levelled at the protests from powerful figures only

affirms the necessity of a national dialogue on race and police violence. The Davidson and Charlotte communities are not immune to the physical realities around which this debate rages. On September 20, 2016, Keith Lamont Scott became another victim of police brutality after being shot and killed in a Charlotte apartment complex. The following day protesters took to the streets of Charlotte to speak out against what they saw as an abuse of police power. One of the defining images of this protest included Davidson graduate Braxton Winston ’06, standing shirtless with clenched fist raised, facing down police equipped with riot gear. In the aftermath of the Charlotte protests, Davidson’s most famous alumnus, Steph Curry, also lent his support to Kaepernick’s anthem protests during a press conference, expressing both a condemnation of violence and urging the nation to take Kaepernick seriously. Davidson students have also staged protests addressing the social justice issues that Kaepernick, and the Charlotte protesters, have sought to address. In December 2016, 250 protesters held a protest condemning police brutality during the town’s Christmas festival. The protesters were mostly Davidson College students. The protest included a reading of the names of those killed in acts of police brutality. Actual anthem protests are only a recent development in the Charlotte area with this season’s arrival of Eric Reid, a safety for the Carolina Panthers and the second NFL player to kneel during the national anthem. On October 7, 2018, he became the first Carolina Panther to kneel for the anthem. While there have been no reports of Davidson student-athletes protesting the national anthem, students and alumni clearly still care deeply about the issues being addressed, raising questions about the views of the Davidson administration and athletic community towards student-athlete activism and political involvement.

Though no Davidson athletes have protested during the anthem to date, AD Chris Clunie recognizes the significance of action-based resistance. Photo by Maya Eggert ‘19 Davidson College Athletic Director Chris Clunie ‘06 is well-positioned to address these issues. A former Davidson student-athlete himself, Clunie has previous experience working as the director of the NBA’s international basketball operations. Clunie, in his first year as Athletic Director, seeks to further an environment of acceptance and responsibility in the Davidson athletic community. This commitment extends to causes of social justice his student-athletes seek to pursue, including potential anthem protests. When questioned about athletes taking part in protests, Clunie stated that he and the Athletic Department “support our student-athletes with their views and viewpoints, as long as they are doing it in a respectful manner.” With regard to students potentially facing administrative repercussions for protests, Clunie said, “We want to make sure they’re doing it for a legitimate reason...I think you have a discussion with them to make sure they’re doing it for the right reasons.” Clunie recognized the importance of doing more than simply protesting, and cited Kaepernick’s community outreach as strength-

Words of Wisdom

What would you say to a student who needs some confidence to get through finals?

“Dwelling and hanging your head after a loss or

poor grade won’t help you or anyone else. Learn from your mistakes; in basketball, watch film; in school, maybe meet with your professor to go over the test or paper; then move on. You must have a next play mentality and stay positive.” Will Reigel, Assistant Coach, Men’s Basketball

ening the quarterback’s message. “You have to have action behind it,” he stressed. “It’s what else you are doing outside of that to help advance your cause.” The administration appears willing to allow the Athletic Department to determine its own policies on these issues, mirroring the outlook of Clunie. According to Communications Director Mark Johnson, “[Clunie] speaks for the administration.” Dr. Gayle Kaufman, a sociology professor who is currently teaching a class entitled “Gender, Race, and Sport,” also sees merit in using the public platform provided by sport to further a social cause. However, she also acknowledges the challenges faced by public figures engaged in protests, particularly athletes. “There are a lot of people who think athletes shouldn’t voice their opinions,” Kaufman explained. She attributes this belief to the idea that social activism is outside of an athlete’s role. However, Kaufman disputes this assertion. “I think anyone who has a platform, who has people who listen to them, has an opportunity,” added Kaufman.

Wildcat Standings: Wrestling Team Davidson Gardner-Webb Appalachian St Campbell Chattanooga The Citadel VMI

W 2 2 2 1 0 0 0

L 1 1 2 1 1 3 4

Pct.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0

.67 .67 .5 .5 0 0 0

Arts and Culture

2018 Holiday Gala

ALYSSA TIRRELL ‘22 STAFF WRITER

s the lights dim the voice of Christopher Gilliam echoes through the Duke Family Performance Hall, welcoming the audience to the Annual Davidson College Holiday Gala. The stage brightens, revealing a full chorus, orchestra, jazz band, and a troupe of sequined dancers. These 300 performers, including over 150 Davidson students, will each contribute to the yearly spectacle of Gala. The Davidson Holiday Gala gathers community members, students, and even people from beyond our small community to celebrate the season, not just on stage but in the audience as well. “Music is a great way to bring people together, and the Holiday Gala is a really fun way to bridge the gap between the

college community and the greater town community,” reflects violinist Danielle Gabriel, ’19. “The Gala is by far our most popular concert,” says Gabriel. However, reflecting on her time at Davidson, Gabriel notes that “of the three that I’ve done, this has been my favorite, specifically because of the addition of Sparky and Rhonda Rucker.” Sparky and Rhonda, a pair of Folk Singers, brought something distinct to the tradition of the Davidson Holiday Gala this year. In a program usually comprised of Christmas classics and sing alongs, the couple altered the festivities with “Go Tell it on the Mountain” and “All God’s Children Got Shoes.” Through their performances and the stories that accompanied them, Sparky and Rhonda gave context to familiar Southern tunes. “They bring in narratives we don’t hear often, specifically slave narr tives,” continues Gabriel.

In the introductions to their songs, Sparky and Rhonda described the function of music in slave communities as something related to survival and protest in addition to celebration. The subject of slavery and its relationship with music felt tense within a program that heavily emphasized cheer, good will, and unity. In a time of year when celebration is almost forcefully expected, it can be easy to forget the varying and diverse needs that celebration meets and has met. At a majority-white, southern institution, particularly considering the recent conversations and conflicts regarding diversity and inclusion on campus, this performance and its message felt particularly relevant. Sparky and Rhonda delivered the important reminder that music and the arts have served as more than just a luxury in our collective Southern history.

A selection of performances from the 2018 Holiday Gala. All photos by Chris Record

Crepes and a Haircut Restaurant Review: Salon Café MICHAEL HALL ‘19 FOOD CORRESPONDENT

ith sheets of rain unrelenting and sweater season in full effect, I could think of only two activities for a Friday afternoon: consuming velvety crepes and cleaning up some split ends. You’d be mistaken to think the two were mutually exclusive, and in fact, Salon Café offers more than just hair services--manicures, pedicures, and gel polish also accompany the crepe-centric café, the bodega-lovechild of a metrosexual and homebody mother. Salon Café, only minutes down Main Street, is offering a Nutella-forward experience between its salon services and café aspirations. Walking over the porch’s creaking floorboards and through the opened double doors, entering Salon Café is like visiting your grandma if she had a French love affair. The immediate inside is a café, where an espresso machine, stove top, and crepe maker are crammed into a corner to allow for couches, small tables, and a fireplace, which transform the space into a living room. I ordered for the group—two sweet crepes, one savory, and one cappuccino—and we sat down to the sound of cars sloshing through the rain and admired how well lit the interior was (all warm lighting

no deathly fluorescent overheads). The cappuccino arrived first and required three bottoms-up swigs to get anything more than foam; the only reason to order a cappuccino here is to cut the sweetness of the crepes. Although there were Reese’s, Almond Joy, and Key Lime Pie crepes, we chose two variations of the classic crepe: a banana and Nutella, and strawberry and Nutella, both dusted with powdered sugar. Two neglected squirts of Reddiwip (I couldn’t miss the iconic silo can) flanked both crepes and a generous “drizzle” of chocolate syrup zigzagged on top. The chocolate syrup surely was Hershey’s and added little other than an unpleasant, artificial aftertaste. Beyond these unnecessary accoutrements, the crepes themselves were truly yummy; no edge was burned, and fruit and Nutella spewed out of these delicate cornucopias. The bite of the strawberries was preferable to the softness of the banana, which added no textural complexity to the soft crepe and hazelnut spread. After a few mouthfuls (each chased by the cappuccino) I commented on the possible excess of Nutella, which my friends identified as the honest function of a crepe. The savory crepe came afterward and enveloped an even greater bounty, including scrambled eggs, ham, swiss cheese, mush-

A strawberry and nutella crepe. Photo by Michael Hall ‘19 rooms, onions, and honey-Dijon. Despite heavy doubts as to the success of a savory crepe in a stand-alone unit where hair is cut and nails are filed, the savory crepe certainly exceeded our expectations. No ingredient was lacking in comparison to its partners, creating an appreciated uniformity of bites. Although I did not have time to indulge in a foot or hair treatment, the concept of a crepe and coffee pre-appointment is in full effect at Salon Café. Only one crepe maker delayed the order and caused the three to vary in tem-

perature. All three crepes, nevertheless, were unfalteringly smooth throughout and although the savory was merely a Union breakfast inside a crepe and the sweet a vehicle for Nutella, they surely will satisfy any exam-induced crepe craving one should face in the coming month. Michael Hall ‘19 is an Economics and Latin American Studies double major from Savannah, GA. He can be reached for comment at mihall@davidson.edu.

Et Cetera

Personal Essay: Nick Johnson ‘19 Help Me Heal: Diabetes at Davidson

wake up before my alarm and roll over, only for the patch adhesed to my abdomen through which insulin flows into me to tug at my skin. Fully awake after the unpleasantness, I sit up and unplug the pump itself from the wall where it was charging overnight, causing it to pull on me in the first place. I try not to think about having to plug a life-giving machine into the wall while it’s connected to me, especially since now my day has begun, and I have to work on all of the things that I expect myself to accomplish in my time at Davidson. I could’ve lain back down for a little longer, like you might have done, but to healthfully pursue my goals at Davidson, I make use of all the time I can squeeze out of the day: sleep deprivation, diabetes, and all. Davidson as a whole makes a sincere effort when it comes to ensuring the health of its students. As a type one diabetic, I frequently have to interact with these efforts in order to function at my own standards, marked by academic rigor and hyper-involvement just like you. But health isn’t so simple: one has to think that hey are healthy and making choices to perpetuate that health, while their community affirms their behaviors as healthy. Health is what the individual perceives it to be, but one’s perception is not as simple as deciding one is healthy. During the summer between freshman and sophomore year, I received an email from Student Health. It explained that a number of incoming first years had type one diabetes, and the staff wanted to form a small support group for all those interested in talking about diabetes and how to navigate Davidson with this chronic illness. I had been a spokesperson for the JDRF, a major non-profit for diabetes research and advocacy, and so feel a deep connection to other diabetics. Not really knowing what to expect, I jumped at that opportunity to be part of a space at Davidson where diabetics could relate to each other and share with each other, to just be in the same room as so many other diabetics. But a month later, I got another email from Student Health, introducing all of the diabetics who had voiced interest in the support group to each other and announcing that, because of our enthusiasm, another student in my year and I would be the leaders of this support group. I remember my pulse beating heavily in my neck

Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. “Alpha Phi Alpha promotes brotherhood and academic excellence, while providing service and advocacy to our communities. With these values in mind, the brothers of Tau Omicron serve the Davidson and Charlotte area while stimulating their personal growth as leaders simultaneously.” Allen Clay ‘19 President

at this appointment to which I hadn’t consented. I had no idea how to lead a support group. I had no preparation for that, nor could I claim that I knew what the needs of a dozen diabetics would be. I only knew my own diabetic experience and that I wanted to share that with others. With no insight or direction, let alone training, I was thrown into putting this group together. The group of twelve had one meeting two or three weeks into the semester, where we talked about ourselves, our presence on campus so that people knew where to come in an emergency, and what our needs as diabetics were as we tried to be students. From their input, I felt like there was little we could do as a support organization, so the group fizzled out. Nonetheless, I tried to plan other meetings, but only one person ever showed up for those. After that, I remember getting a few emails from Student Health asking whether or not the group was active. I felt as though I had failed them for being unable to perpetuate this effort for them. My stress went up, but like you, I had plenty of other things to do and had no time to relieve myself of the guilt I felt. So I carried it. Even this semester, during Hurricane Florence, emails were sent out from Student Health about putting medications in their refrigerator since they have a generator. Knowing that I would need another vial over the weekend and that Student Health is closed after 5 pm on Friday until Monday morning, I decided against it. I told myself that if the electricity ended up going out, I would just not open the mini fridge I have in my room solely for my insulin and hope it didn’t get too warm in there that the insulin would be ineffective: I would need all those vials to survive until Fall Break. As luck would have it, we barely lost electricity during the hurricane. Only to really lose it a week later in the middle of the night. All of Martin Court and IAK went dark. Unfortunately, I had already gone to sleep and couldn’t worry about it until the morning when I fortunately had checked my phone to realize a power outage was occurring. Having planned to wake up slowly between 8 and 9 that morning, I had to spring out of bed, put on some pants, grab the cooler, throw in my warming insulin, and hurry to Student Health in an attempt to keep the insulin cool. When I arrived, Student Health had no idea

that there was a power outage for a significant portion of campus. Whoever sent me that email, advising students with medications that require refrigeration to contact Assistant Director Jan Poole, hadn’t taken the step to alert the Student Health office of the issue. That step could’ve made the difference between not having space in the refrigerator for insulin that must be kept cold (if not, I would have had to replace the thousands of dollars’ worth of insulin with new vials that must also be kept cold until use). It is fortunate that the Health Center still had space, what with the approach of the flu season coming and all the vaccinations in the fridge. It would have been so easy for one person to send an email to another across departments to help preserve students’ medications, but instead chance was on my side that there was space so I didn’t have to make a case for the refrigeration of my insulin and the economic investment it represents, since no one else was going to do that. Davidson has helped me in many ways with my health, putting structures in place to help me succeed. Yet the implementation of these structures, their actual function, relied heavily on my individual effort. I have felt isolated, singled out because of the effort I have to provide to the community of diabetics on campus. Because of the meaning I find in this community, I was willing to sacrifice myself for it. Yet I, like you, have so many things to do. I just keep moving, hoping the support that I only get from my friends doesn’t become too much of a burden for them, because I’m afraid of trying to get support in other ways for fear of it turning into further stress.

The

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inside

Irreverent student journalism since 2004. Castigat Ridendo Mores. davidsoniµn.com The Holly Jolly Issue November 28, 2018 Student Who Works Out to Holiday Music Most Unnerving Individual on Campus Page 4

Sleep-Deprived, Disheveled Student Offered Position Among Farm Animals at Christmas in Davidson Exhibit Page0 11

Seniors Reportedly “Way in over heads” Tending to Dying Apartment Christmas Tree Page 39

“Festive Casual” Dress Code to be Enforced for Remainder of Semester, Quillen Announces in School-Wide Email Page 6.02x1023

Freshman Still Unsure How to Break News that He Still “Kinda believes in the Santa thing” Page 2.75

Scholastic Spotlight: First Year Rushee to Examine What the Move is Tonight for WRI 101 Final Paper

He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He will attack unprovoked.

10 Things on Campus You Can Pretend Are Holiday Themed Feeling guilty about not decorating your dorm room? Facing constant badgering from your mom about how you aren’t as cheery at Christmas time as you use to be? Just need some minimal uplifting about the impending doom that your GPA is facing? Here is a list of 10 things on campus that you can delude yourself into thinking are festive holiday items! 1. Evergreen Tree Outside Your Window Still waiting for that vibrant green tree outside your hall window to fade into crisp fall colors? Yearning for that nice autumn aesthetic? Too bad! That evergreen tree is a Christmas Tree and that sage tint is here to stay! 2. Union Soda Cups Happy Holidays Union Users! Commonly mistaken as a symbol of Wildcat pride, the Union soda cups are actually in tune with the Starbucks Holiday Cup campaign. 3. Hance Auditorium That big ass dome at the top of Chambers? Spoiler alert! That’s a big ass Christmas ornament. 4. Campus Post Office Good news! This is not just a place to pick up your mail! The post office is secretly a regional satellite outpost of Santa’s Workshop. Wonder where all those gifts you ordered for your family’s Christmas party are? They’ll arrive on campus on December 26th!

5. Red Sweater Draped Over Your Desk Chair Okay sure, you didn’t get around to decorating your dorm room. (Are we sure that’s a warranted thing to do in the first place?) Regardless, the way that crimson cardigan has just hung there for the past three weeks is enough to get the grumpiest Scrooge in the holiday mood. 6. Dying Succulent on Your Friend’s Window Sill There is only one thing stopping you from realizing that browning cactus is just one step away from mistletoe – and that is your ability to detach yourself from reality. 7. Cinnamon-Scented Air Freshener in your Uber Smells just like the cookies grandma used to make, right?. Except plastic and having been dried out for 6 months. 8. First Years Are we sure those aren’t elves? 9. The Large “F” Written in Red on Your Last Paper Your professor is a HUGE Seinfeld fan and that F is obviously just a reference to his favorite holiday “F”estivus! As long as that is what you believe, then it must be true! 10. Old Man Library Not sure about you, but I’ve never seen Old Man Library and Santa in the same room. Just connecting the dots here. Stay woke this holiday season, kiddos.

CHAMBERS 1234 –– Describing the subject matter of his study as “groundbreaking, potentially historic, and previously unexplored in academia,” firstyear student Brett Murray ‘22 explained to his Writing 101 classmates on Monday that his final paper would investigate the timeless question that has eluded the world’s greatest social scientists for generations: what’s the move tonight? Murray, who many might know as the owner of six throwback NBA jerseys, reportedly provided his classmates with a brief overview of his research methodology as part of a required project proposal. Brenna McLaughlin ‘22 told The Yowl that she was impressed by Murray’s enthusiasm for his research paper, noting that his analysis could yield “revolutionary insights into the optimization of social life at Davidson.” Other WRI 101 students shared McLaughlin’s perspective, lauding their enterprising classmate’s ingenuity and willingness to tackle a subject matter that is so integral to college students’ wellbeing. The Yowl sat down with Murray, who was originally thinking SPE but is now leaning more toward SAE, to discuss his paper and any preliminary insights his research may have yielded. Said Murray, “I’m developing a multiple regression model to help determine what, in the long run, is the optimal move for an average weekend night at Davidson. I’ve been collecting data on different Martin Court apartments and Patterson Court houses since August, and have also been tracking numerous other variables that my model will control for.” The budding statistician continued, “Controlling for weather, the presence of a campus-wide court party, as well as ratings developed by third-party coders for overall campus sentiment and levels of police and RLO stringency, I have been able to collect some statistically significant results, which I am excited to expound upon in my paper and hope to replicate in future independent studies.” The Yowl spoke with several professors specializing in quantitative social science regarding Murray’s methodology, as well as the reliability and validity of his tests. Social Statistics (SOC 201) Professor Devon Caldwell called Murray’s analysis “methodically sound,” and commended his attempts to control for the “numerous extraneous variables that may impact a given night down the hill.” At press time, Murray and his 2nd Belk hallmates were seen eagerly running a preliminary version of what is being dubbed the “Move Model” in hopes of identifying Friday’s top pregames. The model repeatedly advised transferring to a state school, much to the chagrin of its visionary designer.

Creepy, Overbearing Hall Counselor Puts Elf on the Shelf in Residents’ Rooms BELK — Describing her most recent stunt as “way over the line” and “low-key super creepy,” residents of 2nd Belk expressed unease with sophomore hall counselor Sarah Evans’ insistence on placing an Elf on the Shelf in each of their rooms. Evans, who consistently refers to the residents of 2nd Belk as “her babies” or “her little angels,” returned to campus from Thanksgiving Break a day early in order to ensure that the stuffed elf dolls could be positioned discreetly in each room before her residents returned. Multiple first year women on the hall spoke to their collective bewilderment upon discovering the slender androgynous creatures hidden around their rooms. “Kate was about to turn the lights off Sunday

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night, and then I look up and see a f*cking tiny head sticking out from behind the sliding door above our closet,” remarked Sandra Rodriguez ‘22. “That freaky thing scared the shit out of me!” Rodriguez and roommate Kate Henderson ‘22 immediately texted their hallmates, all of whom had found or soon uncovered an Elf on the Shelf somewhere in their room. “At first we thought this might have just been us getting pranked by someone,” explained Henderson, “but after Leslie found one sticking out of her laundry basket and Nina found one in her condom box, we knew it had to be Sarah. This has to be the weirdest thing she’s done yet.” Henderson spoke of a pattern of increasingly maternalistic behavior displayed by their hall

counselor over the course of the semester. Numerous other residents and outside sources corroborated this account, with several describing Evans’ actions as growingly concerning and problematic.

“‘Kate was about to turn the lights off Sunday night, and then I look up and see a f*cking tiny head sticking out from behind the sliding door above our closet ... That freaky thing scared the shit out of me!’” “At the beginning of the year it was kind of fun when we would all call her “mom” and she played along with the role,” said Rodriguez. “At least, we thought she was joking.”

It appears that Evans wholeheartedly assumed the title of hall mom, setting 12 o’clock curfews on weeknights, constantly offering to “check” any homework assignment her residents had due, and interrupting pregames “just to see if anyone needed a snack or anything.” Evans’ behavior followed a swift trajectory from cute to weird to annoying to creepy, with the breaking point coming when she was caught reading one of her resident’s texts, which she claimed was necessary in order to “keep an eye out for any boys.” At press time, an eyewitness reported seeing Evans watching her residents with binoculars as they disposed of their elves in the Belk dumpster.

Weekly General Horoscope Regardless of Sign

WRITERS

THE BOX

‘Tis the season to be jolly. Well, not really. We’re all f*cked. I’m f*cked. You’re f*cked. No amount of astrology is gonna change that, kiddos. Unfortunately telling your professor that “Mercury is in retrograde” and your “chakras are no longer aligned” is not a good enough excuse to get your 15-page paper extended. We imagine your stoic, intimidating political philosophy professor isn’t in to “that new hippy crap.” Good luck kids. You’ll need it.

MALORIE Dasher Dancer Prancer Vixen Comet

Quote of the Week: “Does anybody have a lighter? Oh f*ck, I forgot people don’t smoke anymore.” - Juul CFO

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian. Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth. We don’t make the news, we fake the news™.