1/30/19

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davidsonian.com

January 30, 2019

Student orchestra and jazz musicians infected with Norovirus on winter break cruise

2

Davidson community debates the merits of Dr. William Kristol’s professorship

4

Michael Glaser ‘92 joins Jazz Ensemble for annual January concert

Volume 114, Issue 12

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Join us in celebration of the Yowl’s 15th and 89th anniversaries

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Pepsi Invades Campus

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Tim Maypray, a running backs coach for the Davidson College football team, passed away on January 15th, 2019. Photo courtesy Davidson College Football Facebook page.

Davidson Remembers Tim Maypray

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SAVANNA VEST ’22 STAFF WRITER

im Maypray, a coach of the Davidson College Football Team, passed away on Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2019 at the age of 30. A beloved member of the team’s coaching staff, Maypray was known for supporting players on and off the field in his role as the running backs’ coach.

Maypray’s passion for football blossomed when he was still in high school while attending Randolph-Macon Academy, a military academy in Front Royal, Virginia.

His commitment to the sport expanded when he joined the Virginia Military Institute’s (VMI) football team, where he played a number of positions, including wide receiver and running back.

During his four collegiate years, he obtained recognitions such as 2006 Big South Freshman of the Year and 2009 Pre-Season Offensive Player of the Year.

Maypray went on to play professional football with the Canadian Football League’s Montreal Alouettes. He then returned to VMI, this time as an assistant coach. During his three years at his alma mater, Maypray became friends with Head Coach Scott Abell of Davidson’s football team, and Abell recruited Maypray to join Davidson for the fall 2018 season.

Though he only worked with Davidson Football for a short period of time, Maypray’s impact on the team’s progress and spirit did

not go unnoticed.

“I was so excited when Tim accepted the offer to join our staff at Davidson,” Abell said. “For a while I wanted to be in a situation to hire him, and Davidson provided that opportunity. He was a passionate, enthusiastic and knowledgeable coach. Most importantly though, he really cared about those he worked with and those he coached. He made everyone around him better.”

“Coach Maypray was such a jovial individual with seemingly boundless energy,” said Athletic Director Chris Clunie ‘06. “Even only knowing him for less than a year, it was clearly evident how much he cared for his players, his coaching colleagues and his family. He will be sorely missed but never forgotten.”

Those who interacted with Maypray on a daily basis always appreciated his energetic and upbeat disposition.

“He was a stranger to no one. Tim loved what he did and he showed everyday. His smile and energy were felt immediately every time he walked in a room, dining hall, training room or gym,” Abell said.

Eldina Kučević ‘20 interacted with Maypray often while working the desk at Baker Sports Complex. She remembers a marked difference with the new 2018 football staff’s demeanor: younger, friendly, and eager.

JONATHAN LEE ‘20 STAFF WRITER

his semester, Davidson shifted allegiances in a corporate rivalry steeped in history, conflict, and controversy. In a choice between the two giants of the food and beverage world, Davidson abandoned Coke and joined its arch-nemesis, Pepsi.

Now, Pepsi products and branding are conspicuous across campus, from new drink machines and beverage options in Davis Café and Vail Commons to concessions and advertising at athletic events to new vending machines.

Changing from a beloved brand to its rival could have been contentious, but the transition itself was peaceful.

Many had their opinions, but as the high-tech Coke Freestyle machines were unplugged and rolled out of Davis Café, no one protested. Some students remained ambivalent.

“I really don’t care much about the change from Coke to Pepsi because I don’t drink soda,” Angelina Neiberger ‘21 declared.

Others were slightly more opinionated, and some even greeted the change with excitement.“The machines look sleeker,” commented Sam Ravina ‘21. David Thole ‘21 described them as “way more aesthetic” than their predecessors.

The main reason for this excitement, however, seems to go beyond drink machines, beyond soda, and beyond a purely Pepsi vs. Coke flavor debate.

While soda consumption has been declining nationally, other aspects of Pepsi’s presence appeal to students.

Since PepsiCo owns lots of other beverage brands, many of these are now found on campus. These include Gatorade, Mountain Dew, Aquafina, Starbucks canned beverages, Seagram’s Ginger Ale, and even a Pepsi Twist machine in Davis Café.

Students have seemed more enthusiastic about the new, non-soda products, which they reviewed positively, than their soda preferences. “I love that there are a whole bunch of Starbucks products now. Before, there were only a couple Dunkin Donuts things,” said Katie Soden ‘21.

Also popular amongst students is Gatorade, which replaces Coca Cola’s Powerade. Aren Watt ‘20 remarked, “The only thing that really matters to me is that we now have Gatorade instead of Powerade.”

Viraj Garewal ‘22 agreed: “Gatorade has been the primary benefit from the switch to Pepsi. The general consensus is that Gatorade is better than Powerade.”

David Thole ‘21 highlighted one of Gatorade’s added

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New Mental Health Advisors Offer Support, Outreach

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BETSY SUGAR ‘21 STAFF WRITER

ccording to the American Psychology Association (APA), between 2014 and 2015 colleges nationwide saw a 30% rise in students seeking help and appointments from counseling centers. The same study found that 45% of the students listed stress as one of their reasons for scheduling a counseling appointment. Depression and anxiety were the two other leading reasons for making appointments.

Davidson follows this trend. The Counseling Center offers a variety of options for students who desire help, including up to 20 free counseling sessions a year, group counseling, and many other resources that can be found on their website. However, students may no longer schedule a recurring appointment in

advance. Now they can only schedule week by week with their counselor. The goal is to keep open space for other students, but it may make it harder to ensure a regular appointment.

[MHAs will] “pop the bubble of the stigmitzation of vulnerability on campus.”

‘21

-Caroline Berberian

Yet even with all of these resources, the Director of the Counseling Center, Dr. Trish

Murray, wanted to offer more, and she has implemented a new resource open to students. At the end of last year, many students applied to become one of eight new Mental Health Ambassadors. The Mental Health Ambassadors (MHAs) are “a volunteer group of students who are committed to raising awareness and implementing programming about mental health issues that are specific to the college experience,” according to the Counseling Center’s website.

Murray has been working over the past two years to establish the Ambassador positions on campus. She modeled the application and general function of the MHAs after the Student Health Advisors already active on campus.

The Ambassadors, similar to the Advisors, will focus on programming and outreach, although they will work with and through the Counseling Center as opposed to Georgia Rin-

gle’s office and the Health Center.

The MHAs will implement programming on campus to address common mental health issues, be a peer resource, combat stigma around mental health problems, and provide information about and referrals to the various resources on campus. Most importantly, Murray expressed her hope that the MHAs will “let students know that they’re not alone, that [the MHAs] experienced those things too.”

The MHAs will make themselves known throughout campus this semester. by introducing themselves and their programs to residence halls, eating houses, and fraternities. Caroline Berberian ‘21, one of the new MHAs, hopes the introductions will also “pop the bubble of the stigmatization of vulnerabil-

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News

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Orchestra Tour Was “Pretty Sick”

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KAIZAD IRANI ‘22 STAFF WRITER

uring the week before the start of Spring semester, Davidson’s award-winning instrument ensembles embarked on their annual performance tour.

Winners of the 2018 “American Prize for Orchestra Performance,” the Symphony Orchestra, alongside the Jazz Ensemble, continued their 25+ year tradition of performing and promoting their work outside of the Davidson community.

“Our primary purposes for going on tour are to give the students the opportunity to perform for various audiences outside of Davidson, promote the strength of our music program, connect with high school students who may be starting their college search and encourage them to look at Davidson, and give audiences that we do not see on a regular basis the opportunity to hear great music performed by Davidson College students,” said Orchestra Director Dr. Tara Villa Keith.

This year, 60 students, three faculty members, and one staff member headed on Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas cruise ship.

While they successfully performed three concerts on the ship, the Royal Caribbean canceled the trip a day early after an outbreak of norovirus affected 475 passengers and crew members. Among the 475 infected, 21 were members of the Davidson College community.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), norovirus is a gastrointestinal illness that is extremely contagious and causes vomiting and diarrhea. It can spread through direct contact with an infected person and through food or water. It is also the leading cause of foodborne illnesses in America, according to the CDC. The cruise ship departed from Port Canaveral, Florida on January 6th. The first instances of norovirus were reported on January 8th after the ship stopped in Labadee, Haiti. It is not yet known what started the outbreak.

“The first day at sea went well, and we were able to get off the ship in Haiti,” said clarinet player Bryan Kirk ‘22. “On the third day at sea, we were told that a significant number of people were affected by an illness causing diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting. Presumably, this illness was norovirus, and the cruise line immediately increased sanitation.”

The cruise arrived in Falmouth, Jamaica on the morning of January 9th. However, the Jamaican government denied passengers permission to disembark from the ship. The ship was then supposed to travel to Cozumel, Mexico, but the next day it was announced the vessel would be heading back to Port Canaveral, ending the voyage a day early.

Some of the measures taken by Royal Caribbean included quaritining those passengers who were reportedly infected, adding extra sanitizing stations throughout the ship, not allowing guests to serve themselves at the buffets, and ensuring that medical staff met with those who were infected.

“The medical center gave people painkillers, anti-nausea, and anti-vomiting medicine,” said EJ Canny ‘19, one of the Davidson students infected by the illness. “I initially thought I had food-poisoning because my symptoms only lasted four hours. By the time I realized it had been norovirus, I had recovered.”

Keith, along with the other faculty members, worked tirelessly to inform parents and the school of the events unfolding during the trip. Keith shared the many precautions that Royal Caribbean took and the role she played in monitoring her students.

“Immediately upon learning about the change of plans, we notified the college about our early arrival and the outbreak of the gastrointestinal illness. Throughout the week, as students were getting ill, I was emailing the health center to keep them as up to date as possible regarding who was ill,” reported Keith.

“Most of the ill students called the ship’s medic – they were asked to stay in their rooms and the medics came to their rooms to dispense treatment. Some students also went directly to the medic to get treatment. Other students self-quarantined. With the early cases, the medic was certainly overwhelmed, and unfortunately, one student was not able to get immediate treatment but was fully recovered two days later. While the illness initially hit quickly, it ran its course equally as quickly, and most students were asymptomatic within 24 hours,” she continued.

Keith, Canny, and Kirk all expressed that they felt that Royal Caribbean handled the situation efficiently and ensured that the outbreak did not ruin the overall sentiment of the cruise.

“I think the cruise staff handled the whole situation as well as they could, and I never feared for my own safety even if I were to get sick,” said Kirk. “Everyone on the cruise also received a full refund for the trip.”

Despite the outbreak, the instrument ensembles successfully performed their pieces. Reflecting on the experience, Keith felt that the trip still was enjoyable and meaningful.

“While it was certainly upsetting that students got sick and disappointing that we didn’t get to explore two of the three ports, we were

Pepsi Replaces Coke CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 benefits: “I also really like the switch from Powerade to Gatorade, because Gatorade has saved me many a morning after F.” The reason for the switch was mostly financial. In a joint response, Chief Communications and Marketing Officer Mark Johnson and Director of Auxiliary Services Richard Terry ‘81 explained that “the Coca-Cola contract came to the end of its term and afforded the college the opportunity to consider alternatives in search of the best solution for Davidson.”

They continued: “Both vendors were invited to put together their best offers to win the contract, and they were reviewed by a group including reps from Athletics, Auxiliary Services and College Communications and Marketing.

Pepsi provided a very competitive financial offer and will provide brands in all the same categories as Coca-Cola delivered.”

The aforementioned press release also pointed out that “the college is turning to the taste born in the Carolinas, as Pepsi was introduced in New Bern, N.C., in the 1890s.”

The change is a way to leverage “all potential sources” to “keep tuition and fees as affordable as possible,” according to Terry and Johnson. Additionally, they mentioned that “[Pepsi’s] sponsorship supports scholarships, sustainability efforts, and helps Davidson to run a competitive athletics

program.”

In order to help the transition go smoothly, Pepsi intends to engage directly with students. According to the press release, “the company... plans a Pepsi day on campus in the future, with games, giveaways and, of course, lots of Pepsi.”

Pepsi has already engaged with students by offering samples in Commons. Luis Cordero ‘22 met this initiative with skepticism: “I tried it but it tastes the same. Nothing new.

It’s banal. Plus, soda leads to increased obesity rates and diabetes.”

New Pepsi products fill vending machines. Photo by Katharine Cabot ‘22.

still glad to have performed three concerts, presenting the work of our talented students to hundreds of people,” said Keith. “Aside from the performance opportunities, we did experience beautiful weather, a calm sea, and lots of bonding. This cruise experience will not hinder us from continuing our regular domestic tours, although we will certainly think hard about a future cruise.”

The ship currently remains at Port Canaveral and is expected to return back to sea sometime this May.

Health Advisors CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 -y on campus.”

Some of the programs the Ambassadors plan to bring include personalized and casual outlets for students to cope with stress and foster healthy mental health practices. Two such programs include Trail Treks and Coffee Talks. Similar to Murray’s Walk About It last semester, two Ambassadors will lead walks on the cross country trails as an open opportunity for students to move and talk through stressers. Students will also be able to sign up for Coffee Talks, which will allow students to sit one on one with an Ambassador and discuss whatever is on their mind in an informal setting with a peer.

The Ambassadors are intentionally trying to initiate programming that can occur with regularity to account for the waves of stress that occur throughout the semester. Berberian explained the goals of programs like Trail Treks and Coffee Talks are to “add in more ways we can mitigate those fears and those problems that come with stressful weeks for all people regardless of when they’re having their ‘hell week.’”

The Mental Health Ambassadors are setting out to promote beneficial mental health habits and resources across campus. Berberian explained that the MHAs are not extensions of the school counselors, but rather that they “have been given a platform to help because [they] also have been through the same situations as others on campus.”

Murray expressed similar sentiments. The Ambassadors are not supposed to function like the counselors hired by the school, which was intentional on Murray’s part. She best summed up the role of the Ambassadors in explaining, “not everyone needs to come see a counselor, but everyone needs to know that someone cares.”

3 Honoring Maypray, a Man of Motivation January 30, 2019

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 “Coach Maypray stood out in particular, always saying ‘hi,’ asking us about our day, and sarcastically introducing himself as the new football coach every time he walked in, even though he had already introduced himself to us several times,” noting the interactions always made her and her coworkers laugh.

Members of the team remember Maypray for his positive impact on the Davidson community through his enthusiastic energy that he brought to the campus.

“Coach Maypray’s infectious attitude made it nearly impossible for everyone he interacted with to not smile,” said Pat Tabor ‘21, a running back who had Maypray as a position coach. “He had a large personality that made the entire community brighter, and it was a blessing to know him.”

“He was a joy to work with. He always brought lots of energy to whatever we were doing and always did it with a smile,” said Cameron Clark ‘22, a slotback for the football team.

As a coach, Maypray’s teachings were rooted in hard work. Team members cite Maypray’s commitment to the values of effort and consistency as impacting both their gameplay and approaches to life.

“Coach Maypray influenced my life because he challenged me to be the best person I can be, on and off the field,” Tabor said. “He taught me many life lessons about perseverance, humility, and toughness through the game of football that will continue to impact me throughout the rest of my life.”

“Coach Maypray had a huge impact on me both as a football player and as a person. As I said, I would see him everyday, and he always made sure that I knew he believed in me, sometimes even more than I believed in myself. Him believing in me was a huge boost to my own confidence and something I will carry with me in

all that I do,” Clark added.

The team also recalls Maypray’s involvement with the coaches’ intramural basketball team in some of their fondest memories of him, and Kučević, in fact, was a referee for a few of Maypray’s intramural games.

“He always had a smile on his face and asked me almost every day to join the coaches’ intramural basketball team!” Clunie said.

Tabor said, “Watching him play intramurals showcased all the traits of his personality that made him great, including his fun-loving attitude and competitive nature that made him such a great football coach and an even better man.”

Maypray’s funeral was held on Monday, Jan. 21, at First Baptist Church in Madisonville, Kentucky.

Maypray is survived by his wife, Bianca Maypray, and two children, Madison and Timothy. The family expects a third child in the coming months.

The Davidson community can contribute to the Maypray Memorial Fund started by the Davidson Football Staff. Financial contributions will “support Bianca and the future medical and living expenses, as well as funeral costs and moving expenses,” according to the GoFundMe page.

“We simply knew him as the young football coach who made us laugh, who made fun of us, who had a big smile and cared deeply for others—even the employees who sit behind a front desk and go unacknowledged by almost everyone that walks through the door,” Kučević said. “That lively, animated presence he brought into the room is something I think everyone who worked with him, in any capacity, will very much miss.”

Coach Maypray consulting a colleague during a Davidson Football game this Fall. Photo courtesy of Davidson Football.

Crime Log JANUARY 24

Attendance

Takeaways

Agenda

LIZZIE KANE ‘22 SGA CORRESPONDENT

Committee An email with “Sensemaker”—an agent for change making at Davidson—will allow students to share stories about belonging and inclusion. After they have been collected, groups will meet to discuss the experiences shared. The first “story circles” will start this week. A new Steph Curry jersey will hit the College Store soon. Director of Dining Services Dee Phillips will be retiring. Candidates for the open position are being interviewed.

A group of SGA students are working on a new essay question related to diversity to possibly be introduced to Davidson’s admissions application. T&I is still looking for students to help with their project to build a new portal. The Lavender Lounge and Base Lab are finished.

Department Chair of Political Science Kenneth Menkhaus received feedback from students on the proposed Policy Studies Major. The major would be through the Center for Interdisciplinary Studies, and the outline of the major is currently being drafted. idea debated was whether or not the Policy Studies Major should be paired with another major of a student’s choosing.

or

Description/Location

1/19/19 at 0200 hrs

Underage Consumption Little, Dean Referral

1. Policy Studies Major 2. Jewish Studies Petition 3. RLO Update and Social Standards

83%

Time Reported

25 30

Excused Absence: Mauricio Lozano ‘22 Non-Excused Absence: Kibriyaa Morgan ‘20, Jack Heaps ‘20, Jesus Ibarra ‘20, Tatianna Travieso ‘20

1/19/19 at 0215 hrs

Underage Consumption Richardson, Dean Referral

1/20/19 at 0230 hrs

Underage Consumption

1/20/19 at 0900 hrs

Poss. Of Alcohol Underage

1/24/19 at 1000 hrs

Larceny Misdemeanor

1/26/19 at 2230 hrs

Underage Consumption

1/27/19 at 0130 hrs

Underage Consumption

Richardson, Dean Referral

Chidsey, Dean Referral

Irwin, Further Investigation

Cannon, Dean Referral/Transport

Richardson, Dean Referral

1/27/19 at 0245 hrs

Underage Consumption Richardson, Dean Referral

Perspectives

4

Double Take: The Hiring of Bill Kristol

FOR

AGAINST Matthew Bandyk ‘06

Haley Hamblin ‘19 According to the Davidson College “About” page, the school prides itself on being an institution of higher learning that “seeks out intellectually curious students” and supports “free, unfettered inquiry.” Yet, members of our community blatantly contradict such aspirations by indirectly asking the college to administer an ideological litmus test for professors who join the faculty.

In December, the college announced that William (Bill) Kristol would join Davidson in the fall of 2019 as the visiting Vann Professor of Ethics in Society.

As a neo-conservative, supporting ambitious foreign policy and a robust free market, his political and moral beliefs differ from portions of the student body.

Those students have made their opposition to his ideals and his professorship abundantly clear through social media posts, casual conversations, and comments in classes. The criticisms range from hostility to his title as an “ethics” professor because of his positions on the Iraq War to disagreement with his positions on Israel. Either way, opposition to his moral and political positions should not preclude his eligibility or worth as a professor.

Kristol has been part of the Conservative Intellectual Movement in the United States his entire life. His father, Irving Kristol, was one of the founders of intellectual conservatism, which led to the conservative political movement that boomed in the 1980s with the inauguration of President Ronald Reagan.

Bill Kristol received a Ph.D. from Harvard, worked in both the Reagan and George H.W. Bush administrations, served as a faculty member at both Harvard and the University of Pennsylvania, and even campaigned for democratic senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan.

His work in party politics, political journalism, and academia make him a rich source of expertise. He has a wealth of knowledge that students can learn from, regardless of their political leanings.

Kristol offers an underrepresented viewpoint among the college faculty (at least in my experience). I’ve encountered many more left-leaning professors than moderate or right-leaning ones. I appreciate their lens-

es, precisely because they differ from my own, but worry that my peers, who align more closely to these professors, are not challenged to see the world through a different political lens.

Especially in politically charged times, such as the semester of the 2016 election, Davidson students retreat to their echo chambers, reinforced by their professors and class curricula.

The inability to understand another’s position has degraded civil discourse on campus.

Rather than evaluating ideas, every idea is attached to an identity, which means to disagree with one’s idea is to attack one’s identity.

How can two people ever engage with one another when they believe the other’s ideas “invalidate their humanity?”

Intellectual diversity, especially in the classroom, will help students learn to engage with views different from their own and address identity in a more productive manner.

I believe Kristol’s political lens, along with his high regard for civil discourse and freedom of thought, will offer a new way to think about and move through the world, which we desperately need at Davidson.

How can we expect Davidson to fulfill its commitments, as stated on the website, to cultivate students’ “compassion, creativity, resilience, and moral courage” or create a “culture of free inquiry, characterized by intellectual engagement,” if we only ask the administration to hire professors whose ideals align with the majority of the current student body?

Engaging with ideas and moral beliefs different from our own can produce positive results. We may come to question our own views and decide to shift slightly, or perhaps drastically, to another position. We may even become more affirmed in our own beliefs, but with a better understanding of opposing or contrasting views. Either way, we benefit from encountering people with diverse opinions.

Davidson would lose its academic and intellectual integrity if we insisted they only hire progressive or left-leaning professors. Diversity of thought matters as much as other forms of diversity.

Whenever Davidson lands in the national news, it is a big event for our small community. It happens just rarely enough that we know each instance will have an oversized effect on how the country and world perceive us. That is why the entire Davidson community of students, alumni, faculty and employees needs to pause and reflect on the decision to offer Iraq War cheerleader Bill Kristol a job as the visiting Professor of Ethics.

This is, without question, the most publicly humiliating event that has befallen Davidson, at least since I arrived as a member of the Class of 2006.

Our community needs to look at President Quillen and the rest of the current leadership of the school and ask: how could they have thought such an obvious case of academic malpractice would be good for the school, and why should we have any confidence in their ability to lead the institution going forward?

Judging by the reactions I saw on Facebook, some context is sorely needed, because many seemed to view Kristol’s professorship through the lens of contemporary political controversies over alleged “censorship” of conservative thought.

But the problems with Kristol have nothing to do with left-right political ideology. This is about having basic competence in one’s job.

Given his track record of complete bone-headedness, Kristol shouldn’t be hired to teach preschool.

The defining political issue of my time at Davidson was the war in Iraq. Like many, I fell for the deceptive arguments in favor of the war, and, to my eternal regret, publicly supported the war on campus, especially in the pages of The Davidsonian, where I was an editor as a senior and a writer for my four years at Davidson. I, at least, can blame my warmongering on youthful ignorance and naiveté. What is Bill Kristol’s excuse?

Kristol’s (recently deceased) Weekly Standard magazine was the leading mouthpiece of the fantasy that invading and democratizing Iraq would be quick, easy, and cheap.

Most infamously, a piece by David Brooks

entitled “The Collapse of the Dream Palaces,” published in 2003, contained the immortal line, “now that the war in Iraq is over”—a mere eight and a half years, and over 100,000 deaths, before the U.S. formally withdrew combat troops from Iraq.

Kristol himself predicted on C-SPAN that the war would last “two months,” and made countless arguments on cable news and in testimony before Congress about how great the war would be for the Middle East.

To say these predictions aged badly would be a huge understatement. As if the direct losses of civilians and troops from the war itself weren’t bad enough, the war also led to the rise of ISIS and the unfathomable human misery that followed.

That Kristol is to be a professor of ethics (ethics!) is so backwards it feels like a sick joke.

Any ethical person with an ounce of humility who had been as catastrophically wrong as Kristol would be so embarrassed that their only option would be to withdraw from public life and retreat to, say, a monastery for a few decades of soul-searching.

Yet Kristol remains a popular cable news talking head and sheepishly defends the war, even after most Republicans have moved on and embraced a president who mocks supporters of the war.

Most recently, Kristol has tried to reinvent himself as a “woke” Trump opponent—never mind that, as disastrous as his presidency has been, Trump and his administration still have not done anything nearly as damaging as the Iraq invasion.

No doubt Kristol will use his first post-Weekly Standard job as a professor at a highly selective liberal arts college to further rehabilitate his image. What a profound embarrassment for Davidson.

Sports

5

Behind the Scenes: How Davidson Athletes Travel

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DREW EASTLAND ‘21 SPORTS CO-EDITOR

very season, Davidson athletes travel thousands of miles to compete in away games. The men’s basketball team alone will travel approximately 13,120 miles this season. For road games, coaches have to ask themselves, how much can we spend? What will we do when we arrive?

How will we travel?

Every team is given a different budget for all annual expenses. The budget numbers are not disclosed by the Davidson Athletic Department; however, the budgets are based on the revenues a team generates, donations a team receives, the team’s roster size, and a few other factors.

“At every college, [budget differences] would be the case…no two sports are the same,” said Associate Director of Athletics Dick Cooke. “I don’t know [if] that’s accessible info either; I’m pretty confident that’s info [the athletic department won’t] share.”

Coaches determine their own travel budget from their overall budget. These decisions are based on game schedules.

“Each coach creates [their] travel budget line based on the dollars [they have] and what [their] travel is going to project to be,” Cooke said. “[The athletic administrators] let the coaches bounce ideas off of [them].”

While each team plans travel similarly, not every team facilitates travel in the same way.

The swim team flies only once a year, for ex-

ample, while the basketball teams fly multiple times a year. This often has to do with the schedule differences and how far each team is traveling. Davidson sports teams generally travel by charter bus or commercial flight.

According to Cooke, when the driving distance is greater than six hours teams will take a plane. Since Davidson is the southernmost school in the A-10, teams often fly to any school north of the D.C. area. Davidson coaches generally elect to take a commercial flight when they fly. Booking a charter flight requires some extra approval from the athletic department due to the large cost.

The golf team and football teams have unique travel arrangements. The golf team takes a van to and from some tournaments and competitions. The football team benefits from a generous anonymous donor who flies them to some road games in his private aircraft.

Coaches must also consider the college’s missed class policy when planning their teams’ travel. Davidson allows student athletes to miss up to two Tuesday-Thursday classes and three Monday-Wednesday-Friday classes in each semester. This policy has been in place for over three decades.

“A lot of [scheduling] revolves around our missed class policy…we’re probably the only school in the conference that has a missed class policy,” Head Women’s Basketball Coach Gayle Coats Fulks commented.

“We [take] commercial flights unless we start to get into that missed class policy.”

The grind of travel can be tough on players

both mentally and physically. In some sports, like basketball, players may have two road games in one week. Balancing rest with travel can be difficult.

“I definitely think it’s a bit of a grind,” Coats Fulks reflected. “The combination of missing class and travel…can be a lot; our players do a great job of managing it.”

Despite the sacrifices that athletes must make to travel, many of them enjoy the process. It can be a good way to build team camaraderie and see new places.

“I enjoy it; I actually find away games to be a lot of fun,” linebacker George Hatalowich ‘20 said. “I look at it as- I’ve played football in California. I played in Jacksonville when it’s a hundred some degrees, but I’ve also played in a wind blizzard in Iowa; I think it’s a blessing.”

Getting equipment to and from the location is another factor coaches and teams consider when making travel plans. The football team sends their gear two days before the game by truck. Other teams carry all their athletic and personal gear with them to their destination.

Potential travel inconveniences always concern coaches and athletes. When flying commercial there’s always a chance of delays or cancellation, and buses can get caught in traffic or bad weather. For the swim team last season, these fears became a reality.

While driving to their mid season championship meet, Davidson’s bus became stuck in a blizzard in West Virginia. It took a total of

sixteen hours to get to the pool.

Once teams arrive at their destination, they each have a unique process to get from transportation to competition. Athletes are always provided with food either directly or through a stipend. The football team follows a disciplined schedule for every road game while the swim team does something different for every away meet. Teams also develop travel traditions. The women’s basketball team has a quiz on the scouting report before their game.

“Everyone has their bus buddies,” swimmer Rachel Hendricks ‘21 explained. “We’ve got our little sleeping arrangement; I sleep up against the window, and she sleeps on my lap, because I don’t care if she sleeps on my lap, and she can sleep anywhere.”

Coaches do not have to worry about paying for postseason travel expenses.

“The A-10 is a really progressive conference in that it will help teams offset their tournament expenses,” Cooke remarked. “I don’t think there’s too many conferences in the country that do that.”

Some athletes expressed their preferences for subtle changes in the current travel process. For example, the swim team buses to some meets the day of the event, and they also bus all the way to Ohio for their conference meet.

“In an ideal world it would be very nice if we could fly to our conference meet because conference is a week-long process,” Hendricks commented. “I know swimming doesn’t necessarily have that money.”

Young Wrestling Squad Using Challenging Schedule to Grow

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JONATHAN SWANN ‘19 SPORTS WRITER

Weekly Sports Update

avidson’s wrestling team is looking to use a difficult regular season schedule, highlighted by matches against No. 8 N.C. State and No. 13 Pittsburgh, to build a foundation of success for the veterans and the large first-year class. There are eight first-years, out of seventeen grapplers total, on the squad. Four of them won state titles in their respective classes in high school, giving Coach Andy Lausier the tools to move the squad up the Southern Conference standings these next few years.

This past Sunday, the squad faced a familiar SoCon foe in Chattanooga, losing a hardfought battle 9-34. So far this season the team has a 2-8 record, but that includes losses to NC State, Brown, and Hofstra, all teams in the upper half of their respective conferences.

Leading the way for the squad are Kyle Gorant and Mitch Trigg ‘22, Conor Fenn ‘20, and Tony Palumbo ‘19. Fenn finished 3rd last year in the SoCon championship in the 184-pound weight class, missing Nationals by one podium spot. This season, Fenn has a 1111 record, including notable victories against grapplers from VMI, UNC-Pembroke, and George Mason.

Fenn says that “wrestling top tier teams gives us a higher standard which we need to hold ourselves to; this year, I believe our

tough schedule is designed to show us the level of wrestling our coach wants us to be at.”

All the first-years have made their mark on the squad this season, but Gorant has flourished the most, with an 12-8 record and 6 falls to his name. He has notched big wins in meets against tough competition from NC State, Hofstra, and Brown. The transition from high school wrestling to D1 college wrestling was a significant adjustment for Gorant, but he credits first-year Assistant Coach Joey Dance (who was a two-time All-American at Virginia Tech) for helping him and other incoming wrestlers manage the difficult transition. Gorant notes that college wrestling is a full-time job in many ways and “everyone in college is here to compete.”

Gorant also says Dance has “helped [me] with diet and weight management, and just adjusting to college life.” Overall, Gorant says the team feels fortunate to have Dance provide a mentoring role. Dance’s coaching has helped Trigg as well, who wrestles in the heavyweight division, boast a 12-10 record with 4 falls. Other young wrestlers, including Caleb Ziebell ‘22 and Lachlan Rosato ‘22, are holding their own against the demanding competition.

Finally, Palumbo, who wrestles at 157 pounds, carried a 32-37 record into this season and is looking to finish the strong again, as he won multiple matches in last year’s SoCon tournament.

Rising star Kyle Gorant ‘22 grapples with opponent from Brown earlier this season. Photo courtesy of Davidson Wrestling Facebook page Head Coach Lausier, now in his second The team will face No. 13 Pitt before endseason at the helm of the program, came from ing the regular season with SoCon matches Sacred Heart University and also had a previ- against Appalachian State, the Citadel, Gardous stint working at Princeton. He says that ner-Webb, and Campbell, respectively, before while rebuilding is in progress, the team’s fu- the conference championship in early March. ture looks bright.

Three of those matches, including Feb“In our stage of rebuilding Davidson Wres- ruary 9th against Pitt, February 12th against tling, we currently measure success by prog- App State, and February 22nd against Gardress,” said Lausier. “The current freshmen are ner-Webb, are at Belk Arena, so Davidson the roots for the future of this team. They are fans can cheer on their wrestlers. The hard my first recruiting class and I am so excited work the wrestlers put in everyday may not about their contributions this season…and pay off every match, but, as Gorant says, “getmoving forward.” ting [your] hand raised makes it worth it.”

Game of the Week This Friday on ESPN2, the Davidson Men’s Basketball team travels to Olean, New York to take on St. Bonaventure at 7:00 PM. Davidson stands second in the conference and cannot afford to drop a league game. While the Bonnies of St. Bonaventure only boast a 4-3 in conference record, they were an NCAA tournament team last year and have won two road games in a row against Richmond and UMass. Last season, when the Wildcats traveled to play in Olean, the contest went into triple overtime, and the Bonnies prevailed by just four points. Hopefully the Cats can triumph and exact some revenge from last season. Tune in Friday night to support the team. Let’s go Cats!

Wildcat Standings: Basketball (W) VCU Davidson Dayton Duquesne George Washington Fordham George Mason UMass

6 5 5 5 5 4 3 3

1 1 2 2 2 3 3 3

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

.857 .833 .714 .714 .714 .571 .500 .500

Arts and Culture

6

Jazz Cats Welcome Old Friend MATT BELL ‘19 STAFF WRITER

T

he Davidson College Jazz Ensemble (DCJE) took the stage at the Duke Family Performance Hall for their annual January concert featuring a guest alumnus. The first half of their performance consisted of the music that the Ensemble played on their tour during winter break and the second featured Michael Glaser, class of ’92, on the drums.

This year’s concert harbors an unusual context: the Ensemble with the Davidson College Orchestra recently finished their touring tenure aboard the Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas cruise ship, where over 500 passengers contracted norovirus, ending the vacation early. The story made international news.

Fifteen out of about 70+ students and one faculty member become sick with the virus. “Purell became our best friend,” joked Dr. Bill Lawing, the director of the DCJE, acknowledging the passenger-ship-sized elephant in the room.

Proving victoriously recovered, the Ensemble began their concert with a collection of traditional jazz charts, and it became apparent that Dr. Lawing had unwittingly suggested an excellent metaphor to describe the Ensemble’s performance: the group plays very clean, well rehearsed, and somewhat sanitized varieties of Ellington-era swing, early hard bop, and raucous Gordon Goodwin’s Phat [sic] big band arrangements.

Sticking to the formula, the Ensemble rarely strayed into any nontraditional territory in the first half of their set.

A prime example of this bowdlerization would be Mr. Goodwin’s arrangement of “Seven Steps to Heaven,” by Miles Davis, from the album of the same name. Goodwin removes the space for interplay between the horns and the rhythm section, the main source of charm on the original record, favoring loud and turgid brass lines. The arrangement seems to forget what makes the song great in the first place—that is, it prevents the DCJE from emulating the conversations had between Miles, George Coleman, and crew. The arrangement would more appropriately accompany a tuxedoed man tipping his boho fedora, professing to a musical’s protagonist about the fickleness of show business.

The notable exception to this rule during the first half of the setlist was Jeremy Levy’s “It’s Like That,” a John Schofield-inspired jazz-fusion that featured a spectacular soprano saxophone solo from Ken Lee ‘19. His solo bent tonal notes into blues notes; expressing a spontaneous logic in his chorus, Lee relied on angular, jauntily inflected, and urbane lines throughout.

The second half of the set brought on Michael Glaser ‘92 to play a group of drum features. Glaser teaches percussion at University of Alabama Birmingham and has had a varied musical background. Beginning his music career at Davidson as a major, Glaser continued to pursue music after graduation. In

The Davidson College Jazz Ensemble, featuring Michael Glaser ‘92 on drums. Courtesy of Eric Keith. his professional career, he has opened for groups like The Preservation Hall Jazz Band in New Orleans, soul outfit St. Paul & The Broken Bones, and Counting Crows. With Glaser, the Ensemble played more relaxed, communicative, and engaging music for the second half of their set.

Glaser is a very talented musician. Each song gave room for Glaser to exhibit his versatility. The set began with a kitschy arrangement of Little Drummer Boy (no joke) that interpolated sections into the score from Neal Hefti’s Count Basie swing chart “Cute.” For how farfetched that setup may sound, the Ensemble handled the call and response moments well.

The next highlight in the second half was Andrew Homzy’s arrangement of Charles Mingus’s “Moanin’.” The rendition opened with a baritone saxophone cadenza from Koyo Song.

Song then played the melody, making jolting leaps through intervals and sounding almost disjunctive. The arrangement opens up to include layers and layers of different harmonies from each section as the melody is repeated. The song featured arguably the most complex moment of interaction between trumpeter Andrew Wright ‘20 and trombonist Emery Nash ‘20, who traded solo sections. The two echoed and augmented each other’s ideas, beginning their choruses where the other had left off. Glaser then took the reins, performing a solo cadenza. His performance stayed quiet but kinetic, becoming a gradual diminuendo and ritardando, then dissolving into silence before Song jumpstarted the melody and finished off the piece.

In the second half of the show, the Davidson College Jazz Ensemble again showed that they rise to the occasion when the group has guest artists. This uptick in quality has made the group and Davidson more broadly a really unexpected but viable place to hear good jazz. In 2015, the spring artist in residency was trombonist Delfeayo Marsalis, a prominent American jazz recording artist (of the legendary Marsalis jazz family).

The next year, world-class clarinetist Anat Cohen performed with the Ensemble. Last year, Chick Corea--arguably one of the best living jazz piano players--was the artist-in-residency, selling out the Duke Performance Hall, a historic first for the Ensemble.

This upcoming semester, Pat Metheny, another all-time jazz musician and composer, will be performing with the Ensemble. Metheny will be workshopping with the group for a week before the concert, giving them ample time to become familiar with him and his oeuvre. The performance is slated for April 12 at the Duke Family Performance Hall. In the meantime, Davidson should certainly be grateful to modern antivirals for saving our broadly skilled and sporadically enthralling jazz ensemble.

Matt Bell ‘19 is an English and Math double major from Seattle, Washington. He can be reached for comment at mabell@ davidson.edu

Restaurant Review Your Mom’s Donuts MICHAEL HALL ‘19 FOOD CORRESPONDENT

A

ttempting to resolve Davidson’s prolonged dearth in indulgent a.m. confectionaries, Your Mom’s Donuts has teamed up with Carolina Craft Butchery (beneath the Linden apartments), so you can buy your favorite fried dough and wholegrain mustard at the same time. Anatomical diagrams of cows and pigs pair with the rustic butcher paper and off-brand Sharpies to create a definitively un-Davidson, but nonetheless enjoyable, environment.

My friend and I arrived at 12:30 on a Saturday to half of the donuts already sold out, as well as the coffee, so we took what we could get and headed elsewhere for coffee before diving in. Offering a half-dozen donuts for just under twenty dollars, we chose chocolate with sprinkles (textbook), vanilla, dark chocolate, salted caramel, Almond Joy (the butcher’s favorite), and cinnamon sugar with cream cheese frosting (the dark horse among these perfectly square pastries). Assumedly part of Your Mom’s style, all the donuts offered are yeast donuts: lighter, fluffier, and with a web of glutinous delight akin to stalagmites in a cave, these yeasted donuts pack a sweeter, less-satiating punch than cake donuts. Evenly fried on both sides, all of the donuts sported the respected pale belt around their waists that sig-

nals properly proofed dough, something anyone who has gone through ten packets of yeast and failed foamy mixtures can appreciate.

We began with the chocolate-icing donut adorned with sprinkles, a staple on any self-respecting donut menu. Although my benchmark was admittedly high, influenced by fifteen minutes of nostalgic dreaming since ordering, this donut quickly became our least favorite.

Mouthfuls of the soft and yielding donut were rudely interrupted by what felt like rainbow airsoft pellets in the mouth (worth testing); an absolute absence of tenderness in the sprinkles entirely ruined the donut’s mouthfeel.

Reinvigorated by coffee and my friend’s positive energy, I washed my mouth of these seemingly-stale sprinkles and moved on to the vanilla bean. Two donuts in and it became obvious that there was no tampering with the dough, leaving changes in icing as the categorizing element. The vanilla bean was the best icing of the six: slack enough to flood the mouth while still retaining a crust on top to add subtle texture. We followed up with the dark chocolate donut, a close second to the vanilla bean. Despite the potential to swindle customers with a three-dollar donut (because it’s dark chocolate), there was an actual bitterness that justified the name and didn’t leave us concerned about cavities.

Moving on to the more “adventurous” do-

A selection of offerings from Your Mom’s Donuts. Photo by Michael Hall ‘19. nuts: the salted caramel could have been relabeled as a glazed donut without raising an eyebrow; there was not a grain of salt in the glaze nor hint of the deep, rich flavor of caramel. The Almond Joy came with two slivered almonds and had a coconut icing so faint in flavor it best serves coconut-ambivalent eaters rather than coconut lovers (like myself).

The cinnamon sugar donut with cream cheese frosting was the only donut of the half dozen where more than simply the icing was changed. A dusting of cinnamon sugar added a distinction against the other five donuts and

made the donut our favorite, despite the small log of icing piped on top. All six donuts had a faint whiff of yeast that was nice, but disappointing toppings have left me only wanting to return to Your Mom’s Donuts if they decide to sell a plain, unadorned donut, to let their mastery of yeasted dough speak for itself.

Michael Hall ‘19 is an Economics and Hispanic Studies double major from Savannah, Georgia. He can be reached for comment at mahall@davidson.edu

Et Cetera

7

TO THE DUMP The [Sometimes] Weekly Judge

BY JUDGE VICTOR FLEMING ‘73 Across 1 Does sum work?

5 Face-to-face exams 10 Scale that measures hardness 14 Hawaiian isle 15 Gem weight unit 16 For each 17 One way to make game, in bridge 19 “It ain’t easy making friends/ When you’re from the shallow end of the ___ pool”: Emily Kaitz 20 The Davidsonian unit 21 Approach-shot club, maybe 23 Employ a highly advantageous strategy 26 Fireplace fuel unit 29 “The ___ is cast” 30 Liberal ___ college 31 Shakespearean unit 33 Papa 35 Camel’s place 39 Flight segment 41 Upper class students in a dorm of mostly first-years 43 Ancient lawgiver 44 Houston baseball team 46 Hunk’s pride 48 Gallon fraction 49 Prompts 51 “I need some ___!”

53 Secure, as shoelaces 54 Falsely intensify criminal accusations

59 Law firm nabobs 60 Skylit areas 64 Insulting comment 65 White House name since 2017 68 “More to Love” host 69 “If ___ Would Leave You” 70 Leave out 71 Record for later viewing 72 Suitable material?

73 Takes sides?

Down 1 Dextrous prefix 2 Speaker’s spot 3 Clothing, informally 4 Abs exercise 5 Text-scanning initialism 6 Comedic actress Charlotte 7 “There ___ free lunches” 8 Ocean phenomenon affecting the weather 9 Rock-throwing mob 10 Marked deck locale 11 Verdi’s forte 12 Your ___ (what they call a judge in court) 13 Make purchases 18 ___ out (did not commit) 22 ¿Cómo ___?

24 Help out 25 Two semesters 26 Folk rocker (and New York Times crossword co-author) ___ Loeb

27 Honey Bunches of ___ 28 Bus. school admissions test 32 Thin-leaved deciduous hardwood 34 Just a touch 36 Reached ground 37 Rice-A-___ 38 Poker pot input 40 Flaubert’s birthplace 42 Fly like a falcon 45 Withdraws, as from statehood 47 Use a shovel 50 ___ Tuesday 52 Scan or peruse

Day 2

54 Surprise win or loss 55 Film director Brian De ___ 56 What’s been removed from this puzzle’s four longest answers 57 Ed ___ (multiple-Emmy winner) 58 Missouri city, briefly 61 Italia capital 62 “___ the jackpot!”

63 Little crawlers 66 Neighbor of Uru. 67 Tell a whopper

Day 4

Erica Miller ‘19

“My style is a combination of what is affordable, practicable, and unique. I like clothes that a lot of other people may have overlooked, that are just a tad on the weird side.”

Day 1

The

Davidsonian Staff

Editors in Chief News Editors Perspectives Editor Arts and Culture Editor Sports Editor Photography Editor Yowl Editors Design Editor Web Editor Art Editor Copy Editors

Olivia Daniels ‘19, Laura Dunnagan ‘19 Hope Anderson ‘22, Emma Pettit ‘20 Raven Hudson ‘21, Lizzie Kane ‘22 Alyssa Tirrell ‘22, Lucas Weals ‘19 Drew Eastland ‘21, Max Pearson ‘22 Elayna Daniels ‘21 Malorie Hudson ‘22, EJ Kelley ‘20 Sebastian Sola-Sole ‘21 Jake Carver ‘21 Richard Farrell ‘22 Sarah Austin ‘21, Lindy Bustabad ‘21, Susannah Cate ‘20, Adam Ferraz ‘20, Yashi Gunawardena ‘19

Day 3

Day 5

The

Yowl

Irreverent student journalism since 2004. Castigat Ridendo Mores.

inside

dåvidsonian.com Letter to the Editor: New Mascot ‘Lux’ Can Get It Page ‘Sup No. 0

The Anniversary Issue

January 30, 2019 Total Simpleton Had No Idea Drinking Age in Europe Was Lower Until Abroadie Reminded Him 28 Times at Party Page 28

15th Anniversary Report: 60% of All Former Yowl Editors Now Working as Quiznos Branch Managers Page 8

Office of Financial Aid to Re-evaluate Need of AirPod-Owning Students Page $$$

Area Student Disappointed to Find that Brand New Backpack Doesn’t Make Him Coolest Kid in School Page Jansport

BREAKING: Kristol’s Professorship Revoked After Being ‘Cancelled’ By Campus Progressive on Twitter

Above: The original editorial staff of the 1930 Yowl. May they rest in peace.

College’s Satirical News Source Celebrates 15th Anniversary and 89th Anniversary YOWL TOWN — In a statement being released right now, The Yowl is proud to announce that we are somehow still around after 15 years, and also 89 years.

The first issue of The Yowl was published on January 24, 2004, as a humorous appendage to The Davidsonian.

Headlines from the first issue include: “Christ deemed ineligible for Board of Trustees membership”, “U-Hall hits Eu Hall” (with accompanying image), and “Campus tour salvaged by hyping laundry service.”

‘The Yowl,’ however, was not a name created by the ’04 founders. Rather, it was borrowed from an old campus publication by the same title first printed in 1930.

The Davidsoniana Room actually holds the original periodicals, whose style somewhat resembles the Davidson-specific satire revived in 2004, but also includes a greater range of content that features humorous poetry, illustrations, and fictional short stories.

The cover art on one of the first issues features two cats and the caption “How are you feline?,” a line which critics at the time actually considered the wittiest phrase ever uttered by man. Entertaining pieces such as “Credo of a Davidson Freshman” and “Davidson Definitions” grace the pages of the original magazines.

The original Yowl was published up until 1936, when the weight of the Great Depression became just too much

to bear and the Editors grew disheartened, unable to muster up even an ounce of humor amid the greatest economic downturn the country has ever known, presumably.

According to the college archives, The Yowl was later rebranded as a publication called Scripts ‘N Pranks that lasted until 1965, but that didn’t stop the magazine’s original Editors from COPYRIGHTING THE FREAKING NAME! On Page 194 of Vol. 26 of the Catalogue of Copyright Entries: Periodicals, published in 1931 by the Library of Congress Copyright Office, there is an entry that reads: “Yowl (The) © W.C. Ragin jr., editor and J.H. Henderlite, business manager of the Yowl, Davidson. N.C. 10513. v. 1, 1931, no. 2, Mar. © Mar. 1; 2 c. Mar. 2; B 108822” According to highly nuanced US copyright laws that we completely understand, works published after 1922 but before 1978 are protected for 95 years from the date of publication. So we’re pretty confident that the copyright lasts until 2026. Here’s to at least 7 more years of legitimacy.

With complete sincerity, every former and current Yowl Editor, both living and deceased, thanks our faithful reader(s) for 15 and 89 years of skimming the headlines. We’re also totally speaking on the behalf of the former Editors.

We didn’t reach out to any. They may very well hate you.

DAVIDSON –– Announcing that their “hands were simply tied” in regards to the rescission of the conservative political analyst’s position as Vann Professor of Ethics, the Office of Academic Affairs confirmed on Monday that Bill Kristol will no longer be joining the college as a visiting faculty member in the Fall of 2019.

Kristol was recently ‘cancelled’ by Davidson junior Emma Nelson on the popular social network Twitter, forcing the administration’s hand and leaving officials with no choice but to revoke the former White House advisor’s professorship.

On Sunday, January 27th at 2:39 PM, Nelson ‘20 (@fullnelson1998) tweeted “BILL KRISTOL IS CANCELLED Y’ALL,” accompanied by the popular Bernie Sanders finger-wagging gif. The damning tweet appears to have struck a chord with Nelson’s classmates, ten of whom have since retweeted the message. Sources also tell The Yowl that everyone in Nummit stood up and applauded upon hearing of the tweet. Some patrons, swept up in the euphoria of the cancellation, even went as far to start a “Kristol’s cancelled! [clap] [clap] [clap-clap-clap]” chant.

‘Cancelling,’ for those unfamiliar with jargon of millennial internet culture, is an increasingly popular tactic employed by left-leaning Twitter users to rebuff politicians, media personalities, disgraced celebrities, and the occasional “Bachelorette” contestant. A June New York Times piece titled “Everything Is Cancelled” provided an in-depth analysis of the phenomenon, ultimately asserting, “If you announce that someone is canceled, they’re canceled.”

Understanding the power of the Twitter cancellation, Nelson realized that rather than simply venting to friends about Kristol’s hiring, she ought to turn her frustrations into effective actions. “I was in Nummit ranting to Krista and Leon about the irony of Davidson brining in a neoconservative warmonger amidst recent calls for greater faculty diversity,” said Nelson, “and then I remembered that New York Times article and thought ‘all I have to do is cancel him on Twitter!’”

Davidson administrators were informed of Nelson’s tweet Monday morning, prompting a series of high-profile meetings and an emergency assembly of the Board of Trustees. The deliberations were reportedly tense, but the vast majority of involved parties soon realized that there was no way around Nelson’s deliberate actions. Bill Kristol had been cancelled, and there was only one possible decision to be made.

At press time, replies to Nelson’s cancellation tweet included several instances of similar new-age internet jargon, including the praising compliment “Yassss girl,” the popular clapback “Drag him queen!,” and the exclamatory refrain “PREACH.”

PCC Officials Worry Giving Freshwoman Directions to Patterson Court Resembles Unsanctioned Scavenger Hunt BAKER SPORTS COMPLEX –– In light of recent events, the Patterson Court Council seeks to undergo changes to its hazing guidelines once again. On Monday, January 28th, at 3:33 PM a female first-year student stopped PCC member Nathan Wall ‘19 near the Will E. Wildcat Mascot memorial statue outside of the Baker Sports Complex. In an act that would send shockwaves throughout campus, she asked Wall for directions to 120 Patterson Court Circle.

The PCC member pointed the freshwoman in the right direction. It was not until moments after the freshwoman walked off that the court council member realized that his ambiguous directions could have resembled instructions to a hazing scavenger hunt. Wall reports that his directions in-

cluded scavenger-esque phrases like “around this building,” “shortcut through this stairway,” and, in the most overt transgression of PCC’s hazing policy, “down the hill.”

When the incident was reported to fellow council members, matters intensified when Katy Freewill ‘20 reminded the board that the self-selection survey had only opened hours beforehand.

Witnesses say panic consumed the room.

Caught up in an intense moral quandary, devastated PCC members contemplated hundreds of possible ethical dilemmas. What if the scavenger hunt was misguided and caused the freshwoman to be late to her next class, upsetting her academic progress? What if the freshwoman was injured on the way to her destination? What would hap-

Weekly General Horoscope Regardless of Sign

The

Yowl

Under the star of Aquarius in the feverish aftermath of Mercury’s retrograde, you will be confronted by the four horses of the Davidson apocalypse. One, you will develop a romantic attraction to our beefy mascot. Two, your pants will be invaded by the base libs library ants (look out for some choice bites on your genitals, and no we’re not talking about the first blowjob you ever received, freshman boy). Three, the Red Line at Davis Cafe will give you dysentery. That’s what you get for trying to be bougie. Eat a Wildcat Burger like the rest of us. Four, you will engage in an awkward, forced conversation with Carol Quillen at Teeter in the frozen yogurt section.

pen if the freshwoman walked within 50 ft of an alcoholic beverage? Would she feel pressured to intoxicate herself?

“What if the freshwoman was injured on the way to her destination? What would happen if the freshwoman walked within 50 ft of an alcoholic beverage?

Would she feel pressured to intoxicate herself?”

Realizing the seemingly unending scope of this hazing loophole, the Patterson Court Council released the following official statement: “While we do not intend harm unto our fellow first year students – our positions of great pow-

er can result in great consequences. In order to prevent further mistreatment of impressionable underclassmen, PCC members will be removing themselves from all classes that contain firstyears, as well as cutting of communications with first-year acquaintances until the end of February.

We formally apologize for any trauma that may have been inflicted upon the freshwoman.” *UPDATE* The freshwoman was later identified as Jane Yak. When The Yowl reached out for a comment she stated she was “surprised to learn that asking for directions to Nummit would cause so much stress,” adding, “and why would I even want to join organizations that don’t allow scavenger hunts? What fun would that be?”

WRITERS

THE BOX

Unnamed Area Woman Unnamed Area Man Unnamed Area Mascot

Quote of the Week: “AIRPODS AIRPODS AIRPODS.” - Juul CFO

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian. Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth. We don’t make the news, we fake the news™.