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A popular app is back; campus reacts to YikYak

Volume 120, Issue 1

September 15, 2021

Rachel Clubine Horowitz ‘23 breaks down Texas’ abortion bill

Campus athletics plans to revamp the football stadium, add new track facilities

Eleven life lessons for freshmen from your friends at the Yowl

Carol Quillen Steps Down As President

BEN PATE ‘22 (HE/HIM) FEATURES EDITOR

n August 1st, 2011, Carol Quillen became the 18th president of Davidson College and the first woman to hold the position. Over her decade-long tenure, Quillen has overseen significant changes to Davidson’s campus, with the goal to “exemplify what liberal arts education needs to look like in the 21st century.” In pursuit of this goal, Quillen has overseen the construction of the E. Craig Wall Jr. Academic Center, a locus of science and art on campus, as well as the Jay Hurt Hub for Innovation and Entrepreneurship just across Main Street, emphasizing the connection between liberal arts education and the modern job market. This August, President Carol Quillen sent an email to the Davidson community announcing that the 2021 - 2022 academic year would be her last year as president of Davidson. The Davidsonian sat down with her to talk about her time at Davidson, her favorite parts of the job and what the future may hold both for her and the college. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. The Davidsonian: We thought it would be fun to ask a question that Davidson asks all of its applicants when they apply: why Davidson? Carol Quillen: I knew about Davidson as a great school, I had known about it for a long time, but I didn’t know much beyond that. Then the search firm called and said ‘we think maybe this might be a good fit for you, are you interested?’ That was incredible; I felt fortunate to be asked, and I really fell in love with Davidson through the search committee. [The committee members] were all really different. They had different convictions, they had different beliefs, they had different politics, they were of different faiths. And yet, they all seemed like really decent human beings. And they all attributed in part who they had to come to Davidson. And I just thought that it was a really remarkable institution that could enable such different individuals to become the person that they felt they were kind of called to be. TD: What types of opportunities did you see at Davidson when you decided to accept

the job? CQ: Davidson’s sense of what leadership and service meant resonated with me. For me, leadership is about creating a context where a community or institution can make changes that it wants or needs to make and get there. It’s really about creating a context for change and opportunity, and I saw that possibility at Davidson. I also saw the opportunity to think about a liberal arts education, just to figure out ‘what does a liberal arts education need to look like in the 21st century?’ Davidson was perfectly positioned to exemplify what that is. And I thought being a part of that community would be really exciting. TD: You mentioned being in a place where as a community, we have the opportunity to make the changes that we need to make. Can you talk about that a little bit more? CQ: Davidson had changed so much over time, from the time that it was founded in 1837 to big decisions made about who got to be at Davidson, who got to teach at Davidson, who was able to walk on the campus at Davidson. And I think that is a function of Davidson’s grounding in particular theological tradition, that is always itself reforming in light of what God is calling us to do now. And so there was a history of change, a history of innovation at Davidson. It was, for me, sort of becoming a part of that [history] rather than creating something new. Continuing on that trajectory of exemplifying what liberal arts education needs to look like in the 21st century: commitment to respecting the dignity of all human beings and this commitment to the quest for truth. What does that look like now? What does it mean to prepare students for lives of leadership and service now? How do you cultivate human instincts? The abiding nature of these questions and the permanence of the values to which Davidson remains faithful were important to me. TD: Is there one thing that you’re most proud of having accomplished at Davidson? CQ: So the things that happened at Davidson during my time here are not my work. They’re a result of the efforts of the people that made those changes happen. We asked ourselves: ‘if you think about liberal education as a philosophy of education that’s focused on cultivating deep talents

President Quillen stands in front of on campus. Photo by Sydney Schertz ‘24. and capacities, in addition to imparting specific skills, what does that need to look like now? What do leaders and people who live their lives leading and serving the world need to know how to do now?’ I think the college

came up with lots of interesting answers to that which led to new programs of study, some

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2

AFR 222 #AbolishThePolice Course Makes Local Headlines SOHAN GADE ‘23 (HE/HIM) SENIOR STAFF WRITER

DAVID SOWINSKI ‘25 (HE/HIM) STAFF WRITER

t the beginning of this semester, students enrolled in #AbolishThePolice, an Africana studies class, learned that they would have to move classrooms due to safety concerns. “The week before classes started, we got an email from the professor telling us that the location of the class was changed,” said Jo Papadopoulou ‘25, an intended Mathematics major from Greece. Papadopoulou’s classmate Emma Shealy

‘22 said that “It was pretty jarring to think [that there might be] a risk of something happening to us [...] because I was kind of really ignorant about the controversy around the class, but it’s also just kind of a reality check.”

culated headlines about the class, which has garnered criticism from some conservative alumni. “This is not what needs to happen in our colleges,” said Representative Greg Murphy (R

The class provides the opportunity for Davidson students to examine a complex issue that is entrenched in American history. According to the course description, #AbolishThePolice “explores the specific relationship between Blackness and policing in the U.S.” Over the summer, news networks cir-

- NC03) ‘85 in an interview with Fox News. On the other hand, several alumni voiced support for the course. In an interview with the Charlotte Observer, Assistant Professor

of Education Studies Dr. Chris Marsicano ‘10 explained the course’s relevance to Davidson’s ethos. “Our mission is to create creative and disciplined minds for lives of leadership and service, and you can’t lead or serve the public without understanding multiple, different facets of the public,” said Dr. Marsicano. Controversy aside, students enrolled in the class feel that it will give them a unique opportunity to understand and critically examine their personal histories and their peers’ relationships with policing. The makeup of the class is one aspect that facilitates such

CONTINUED ON PAGE 3

News

2 Quillen Reflects on Tenure, To Teach in 2023 CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 new departments and majors, the Hurt Hub at Davidson, which exemplifies that a stronger emphasis on careers and the connection between coursework, and what happens in the world, stronger civic engagement relationships, so that students are seeing the relevance of what they’re learning in class in the world. We moved athletics conferences, which was a big deal. And, I think, important for lots of reasons. I believe in the educational value of division one sports. And I think that our student athletes deserve to play on the biggest possible stage. Additionally, the recent deepened commitment on equity and combating systemic racism is really important. Figuring out what it would mean for an institution that was founded with white Christian men in mind to become an institution that’s genuinely inclusive, genuinely welcomes everyone, genuinely creates an environment where all people get to pursue inquiry freely. What does that look like? And can we exemplify that? I’m so grateful to be at a place where faculty members and students are leading those efforts. TD: Is there anything you wish that might have gone a little differently? CQ: I mean, I wish we weren’t in a pandemic. (laughs) On the other hand, you know, I think the pandemic has given us opportunities to really explore what leadership and service look like in new ways. And so while […] I’m sorry that we’re going through this horrible pandemic, I’m grateful to be in a place that thinks about how our actions affect other people. Also, I think I maybe didn’t sufficiently think through what it would mean to be the first female president and what that would mean for different constituencies of the college. And whether there might have been ways that I could have prepared myself or prepared the college a little bit more effectively for that. TD: What has been your favorite part of the job? CQ: I get to be in a classroom with amazing students, I get to see students in all different kinds of contexts here. And we have amazing students here, really talented students, and it’s a privilege to be in the same space with them. I’ve gotten to meet an incredible group of alumni whose lives of leadership and service serve as examples for our current students. I’ve gotten to talk to people in Washington about educational policy and to work with

Inside the College President’s house. Photo by Olivia Forrester ‘22. colleagues, other presidents of colleges and universities across the country, on issues of real common concern, whether they’re related to immigration or Pell Grants, or equity and access. And so I feel like being here has just been an incredible gift. TD: In your email announcing that you’d be stepping down and going on sabbatical and then becoming a professor here, you said that your head and your heart told you that now is

in this role. There’s an opportunity for a new strategic planning process; the college is in strong financial shape, the demand for Davidson is high. We have an amazing faculty and staff. We have an incredible Board of Trustees. So it feels like the institution is in a strong position. And there’s an opportunity for a new strategic visioning process that could include everyone and chart the next decade. And rather than me undertaking that process, it seemed like a good time to make a change.

“I just thought that Davidson was a really remarkable institution that could enable such different individuals to become the person that they felt they were called to be.” -Carol Quillen Davidson College President the time to step down. Can you elaborate on that? CQ: Intellectually, I think institutions benefit from leadership changes; I kind of believe in term limits, in that sense. Ten years seems a long time for an institution to have one person

And then in terms of my heart I think it would be easy to remain in a job that’s fundamentally really an amazing opportunity. And I think for me, right now, there are research questions I’m interested in and challenges out there in the world I’m interested in that are

probably best undertaken in a different role. And so I feel those things kind of calling to me now. TD: Given the religious qualification bylaws having been amended last year, could you talk about the significance of the possibility that the next president could be the first non-Presbyterian president of the college? CQ: What the board did [to the bylaws] was they defined the qualification for being president in terms of the statement of purpose. What that says to me is that the next president needs to understand the statement of purpose, and uphold, affirm, and achieve that statement of purpose in the role as president. So I think the process now will reflect our values and our loyalty to all of humanity and our respect for the world’s traditions. And I don’t know that there will be any noticeable change from the perspective of adhering to those values as expressed in the statement of purpose. TD: When you go to Commons for breakfast: cubes, coins, shredded, or sweet potatoes? CQ: (laughs) The few times I’ve been to Commons for breakfast, I am not a huge breakfast eater, but I go between the cubes and the shredded.

YIK YAK ATTACK

Yik Yak has made a resurgance on campus, with mixed responses. Here’s what four students had to say. “IT GIVES STUDENTS A VOICE IN A COLLEGE WHERE FREE SPEECH IS GENERALLY DISCOURAGED.” “IT’S TOXIC AND ENCOURAGES HATRED AND BULLYING THAT ISN’T BECOMING OR PARTICULARLY NATIVE.” “I THINK IT IS A GREAT REPRESENTATION OF HOW FRUSTRATED STUDENTS ARE.”

“YIKYAK RUNINED DAVIDSON IN 2013. SO MUCH CYBER BULLING ON A BIG SCALE.”

Responses grathered via Instagram. Illustration by Richard Farrell ‘22.

September 15, 2021

Career Center Receives Four Million Dollar Grant BAILEY MAIERSON ‘25 (SHE/HER) STAFF WRITER

he Center for Career Development is evolving into the Betty and B. Frank Matthews II ‘49 Center for Career Development. Why? Four million dollars. A generous donation from B. Frank Matthews ‘49 II is transforming career opportunities for Davidson students. Matthews felt compelled to contribute to the college after reminiscing on his years as a student at Davidson. “This reflection on his personal experience,

“The Career Center was integral in making this internship a reality because I was encouraged to apply for various summer grants offered,” Frank said. “I was lucky enough to receive the Morehead Family Grant.” Frank’s internship with the Mecklenburg County Public Defender’s Office helped her to realize what she wishes to pursue after graduation: law school. She attributes the diligence of the Career Center to the size of Davidson’s campus; Davidson’s smaller student body allows students to better connect with the staff members. Likewise, Natalie Abernathy ‘23 received the Morehead Family Grant. The financial

Career exploration is a vital part of the college experience. along with years of active involvement in the College, inspired him to help current and future students,” Associate Vice President for Development Brad Martin said. Career exploration is a vital part of the college experience. As Martin explained, part of Matthews’ wish is for students to delve deeper into unfamiliar careers and develop a new set of skills for challenges the future may bring. Through the donation, the revamped Career Center plans to work with the Jay Hurt Hub for Innovation and Entrepreneurship. This innovative partnership will supply grants to students who wish to bolster their marketability as candidates for graduate school and full-time jobs. Katie Frank ‘22 received a unique grant through the Career Center, allowing her to take on an internship this past summer.

support allowed her to pay for gas and meals while shadowing a veterinarian in her home state, Florida. “The Career Center was very helpful in making the summer internship grants process easily understandable,” she said. “Although I have always had a strong passion for working with animals, this experience allowed me to fully understand that my goal is to attend veterinary school and become a veterinarian.” The other facet of Matthews’ contribution to the college will be to fund the refurbishing of the Alvarez College Union. Director of Advancement Communications Danielle Strickland detailed in a June press release the new conversation spaces, workshops, and employer interactions that will be offered in the Union. “A larger portion of the gift will support programming and greater student access

AFR 222 Course in Public Eye CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 learning. “This is probably the most diverse class that I’ve taken at Davidson. There’s a lot of first years, but there’s just a lot of different kinds of majors and disciplines, and people from all different sorts of places and backgrounds,” said Shealy. Shealy also described the connection between topics covered in the class and her future career. “My post graduation plans involve going to law school and eventually becoming a public defender. That’s probably what initially sparked my interest [in the class], it’s just something I think I’m going to have to run into a lot,” said Shealy. Papadopoulou also expressed their excitement about the topics covered on the course

syllabus. “A reading I really liked was part of Simone Browne’s book, Black Matters, where she talks about surveillance and the roots of it. It was really interesting to see how many things we consider commonplace now are actually a form of surveillance [...] so it’s pretty cool to learn. For me, everything [about these topics] is new,” said Papadopoulou. Davidson offers hundreds of classes each semester. In an era of stark political polarization and challenges to critical thought, the class provides the opportunity for Davidson students to examine a complex issue that is entrenched in American history and has only become more pressing in their lifetimes. “It’s just like [you] read an Instagram and you think you know everything about something,” said Shealy. “There’s so much more.”

Students go to the newly-rebranded Matthews Center. Photo by Sydney Schertz ‘24. to employers,” she said. Overall, the Matthews Center hopes this grant will provide new opportunities for students to connect with resources tailored to their needs and explore prospective careers. Frank attested to this personalized quality and the importance of Center staff members in

facilitating career exploration. “You are not just a number to the Career Center,” she said. “[The staff] genuinely care about your success and happiness and will do anything they can to help you on your journey.”

Crime Log

Time Reported

Description/Location

08/23/21

Larcerny Misdemeanor

08/24/21 at 1140 hrs

Fraud

08/30/21 at 2005 hrs

Hit and Run

08/31/21 at 1512 hrs

Breaking or Entering of a Vehicle

09/08/21 at 1805 hrs

Careless and Reckless Driving

Flowe, Further Investigation

Davidson College, Inactive

Armfield, Further Investigation

Patterson Court, Further Investigation

Baker, Inactive

Campus police car. Photo by Sydney Schertz ‘24.

09/11/21 at 0159 hrs

Underage Consumption

09/12/21 at 0536 hrs

Poss. Of Fraudulent ID

09/08/21 at 2345 hrs

Sexual Misconduct

Watts, Dean Referral

Student Health. Further Investigation

Residence Hall, Prosecution Declined

Perspectives

Lifting the Veil on the Honor Council

An Inside Look at the Accountability Process KAT SOLTANY ‘22 (SHE/HER)

ince I joined my sophomore year, I’ve been overwhelmed by students asking me what the Honor Council does. Some are prospective council members, and some are just students who have no idea what our jobs entail. At first, I was shocked—I thought everyone knew what we did. We conduct hearings for students who have violated the honor code. But the basic premise wasn’t the issue. Students were inquiring about the process of reporting someone, what hearings looked like, and what happened after we finished. I soon realized the Honor Council was shrouded in mystery and secrecy. Students thought they would be punished for asking details about our responsibilities since parts of our jobs are confidential. However, the only thing confidential about our jobs is who participates in the hearing and the details of each case. Everything else is public information. Disclaimer: I’m warning you now—this article will be dense and long. Read to uncover the ‘secrets’ of our campus’s value system. Many students ask: “How do I begin the process of reporting someone?” As a student or professor, you contact Dean Byron McCrae, the Dean of Students, and inform him of what you’ve witnessed or heard. From there, Dean McCrae will forward it

the Dean of Students of the charge so we can begin preparing for the case. The student will respond to the statement of charge from the Dean of Students office, either accepting or denying it, and shortly after, the Defense Advisors—two students also elected by the student body—will meet with the student to understand their response to the charge and their involvement on campus. Simultaneously, the Solicitors will compile an evidence packet with relevant documents for the council to read before the hearing, providing necessary context to the case. These documents might include: the professor’s syllabus, a copy of a test or paper, or emails about the charge exchanged between the student and professor. Before the case, the Defense Advisors will go over this packet with the student to ensure they understand the evidence the council will receive. The Vice Chair will then set a date and time for the hearing, distributing the evidence packet to the six councilmembers that will serve on the case. In every hearing, there are two main sections: 1) deciding if the student is responsible for the presented charge, and 2) if responsible, what sanction does the council believe is appropriate for the violation? If the student takes responsibility for the charge, we skip straight to the second section. We begin by introducing ourselves with our names, positions, and grades, along with the statement of confidentiality: “I commit

“The Honor Council was shrouded in mystery and secrecy... The only thing confidential about our jobs is who participates in the hearing and what they are there for. Everything else is public information.” to the Student Solicitors—two students elected by the student body—so they can determine whether a case is necessary. The Solicitors will meet with the student and inform them of their rights, then contact the professor to receive more information. If they decide there is enough evidence to conduct a hearing, they will inform the Honor Council leadership team (consisting of the Chair, Vice Chair, Solicitors, and Defense Advisors) and

to keeping the information in this hearing confidential.” Hearings consist only of the Chair, the Vice Chair, the six council members, the Student Solicitors, the Defense Advisors, and the student. After introductions, the Solicitors present the charge to the council, and then both the Defense Advisors and the Solicitors will give their opening statements. These statements consist of their explanation of the situation

and charge, along with any important details about their involvement on campus or personal experiences if relevant to the charged violation. Next, we begin the questioning period. The Solicitors, Defense Advisors, and six council members have the opportunity to question the student (respectfully, of course) to clarify any salient or important details pertaining to the case. These could be about the format of a test, conversations with the professor, or anything else relevant to the story. Once the questioning period is over, everyone except the Chair, Vice Chair, and six council members will leave so the council can begin the deliberation period. This is when the six council members will decide the appropriate sanction, if one is necessary. We treat each case individually, only operating based on “clear and convincing” evidence. The deliberation period can take 30 minutes or 3 hours depending on the case. Once the six council members come to a majority consensus, the case is finished. I, the Chair, notify the faculty member, the Dean of Students Office, and the student of the outcome, and the Vice Chair submits all relevant documents to the Dean of Students office, including the evidence packet and the digest. The digest consists of all statements from the case, either paraphrased or quoted, to serve as evidence if the student appeals the resolution. If they choose to appeal, the Vice Chair will represent the Council at a Review Board meeting, where the board decides the fairness of the outcome. Everything I’ve outlined above must occur within 10 business days of the initial charge. Now that you know everything about the hearing process, I hope any lingering sense of mystery will dissipate. Other than the occasional full council meeting, this is all our jobs entail. As Chair this year, I’m making it my mission to remove all secrecy surrounding the council, so if you have any questions about our process or responsibilities, do not hesitate to email me! Kat Soltany ‘22 (she/her) is an Environmental Studies major from McLean, VA. Kat can be reached at kasoltany@davidson. edu.

Texas’s SB8 : The Attack on Abortion Access in America RACHEL CLUBINE HOROWITZ ‘23 (SHE/HER)

o say that I’m upset by Texas’ newest abortion ban, Senate Bill 8 (SB8), is a gross understatement. I’m angry, disappointed, devastated, and quite frankly, terrified. It’s been nearly two weeks since the Supreme Court, in a 5-4 vote, let pass into law one of the most extreme abortion bans the United States has seen in years. Texas now has the most restrictive abortion law in the United States. But what does this really mean? Not only does the new law block at least 85% of abortions in Texas1—with “disproportionate impacts on Indigenous, Black, and Latino/a/x communities”—but it has also set a precedent for future abortion bans across the country. Lawmakers and courts in other states will look to Texas as a blueprint for future abortion bans. Unfortunately, six-week abortion bans, often called “heartbeat bills,” are not new in the United States. But what makes SB8 especially horrifying is that anyone in the country (even out-of-state citizens) can sue “people or entities who ‘abet’ or even allegedly intend to ‘abet’ abortions in Texas after six weeks of pregnancy” for up to $10,000 per plaintiff. This could be anyone – the abortion provider, an Uber driver who drops a patient off at the abortion clinic, a friend who provides money for the transportation to said abortion clinic. 1 2 3

The list goes on. SB8 is also written in such a way that makes it extremely difficult to fight in court because it’s “supposed to be enforced by everyday citizens,” meaning that “there’s no single Texas official whom abortion rights advocates can sue to block the law.”2 All of this aside, SB8 is blatantly unconstitutional, given the decades of legal precedent that support abortion as a matter of privacy. The landmark 1973 Supreme Court case Roe v. Wade protects a person’s right to abortion until fetal viability, or roughly 22-24 weeks of pregnancy. For the average person with a uterus, six weeks of pregnancy is just two weeks after a first missed period. SB8 also further isolates and alienates those seeking abortions and places a target on any individual with a uterus. By placing a bounty on every person seeking an abortion, SB8 makes an abortion – which is a personal decision – anyone’s business.3 It’s also important to note that banning or severely restricting abortion access doesn’t prevent abortions from happening; it only makes them more dangerous. If the government wants to decrease rates of abortion, there are numerous steps they can take, but banning abortion is not one of them. To name just a few, they can increase access to effective and affordable contraceptive methods. They can invest in comprehensive and inclusive sexual education programs, increase access to

affordable child care, and support mandatory parental leave for new parents, etc. There is nothing “pro-life” about abortion bans, and SB8 is a direct assault on an individual’s consitutional right to abortion access. Going to school at Davidson means that I’m over 1,000 miles from my hometown of Austin, Texas, and for a while, I felt pretty helpless as I read news update after news update following the aftermath of September 1st. But whether

Fund, West Fund, the Lilith Fund, Support Your Sistah at the Afiya Center, Frontera Fund, Fund Texas Choice, and Jane’s Due Process. Join Davidson’s Parenthood Generation Action (PPGA). Volunteer at local abortion clinics. So long as these unconstitutional restrictions on abortions and reproductive healthcare continue, the fight is far from over.

“Banning or severely restricting abortion access doesn’t prevent abortions from happening; it only makes them more dangerous. If the government wants to decrease rates of abortion, there are numerous steps they can take, but banning abortion is not one of them.” in Texas, or halfway across the country, there’s always a way to actively continue the fight for access to safe and legal abortions. It’s essential to keep the conversation going and break the stigma surrounding abortions—educate oneself, post on social media, attend protests, share stories, etc. Support local Texas abortion funds—such as Bridge Collective, Clinic Access Support Network, Whole Woman’s Health Alliance, Inc., Texas Equal Access

Forbes, ‘Texas Now Has The Most Restrictive Abortion Law In The U.S.—Here’s What Could Happen Next’, September 1, 2021 New York Times, ‘Is this how Roe. v. Wade dies?’ September 1, 2021 Planned Parenthood Keystone, ‘Texas’ SB 8 Is A Full-Scale Assault On Patients, Healthcare Providers, and Support Systems.’ September 1, 2021

Rachel Clubine Horowitz ‘23 (she/her/hers) is a Public Health major from Austin, Texas. Rachel can be reached at raclubinehorowitz@ davidson.edu.

Sports

Davidson Embarks on Exciting New Athletic Renovations BILAL RAZZAK ‘25 (HE/HIM) SPORTS WRITER

n September 9th, amidst the start of student clubs and activities, Davidson announced their plans for a brand new athletic complex. This new stadium will serve as the base of operations for both lacrosse and football programs. Located adjacent to the Carol Grotness Belk Turf Field, the facility will include a new stadium, a fieldhouse featuring a sports performance center, new locker rooms, and a track complex. The current track facility will be renovated to include new locker rooms for the track and cross country teams, along with new facilities to aid student athletes by providing access to improved cardio training and wellness facilities. So far, the plan is to start construction on the new athletic facility in early 2022. When Chris Clunie ‘06, Davidson’s Director of Athletics, first joined the college in 2018, Davidson ran an assessment of all their athletic facilities, ranging from the indoor swimming pool to the outdoor tennis courts. They quickly realized several things: the stadium is over 100 years old, the gym that houses over 500 athletes is getting too small, and track and field is the only sport unable to host a home meet. Clunie commented, “Now is the time to invest in new facilities which will have an impact. Not just with football, field hockey, and track and field, but work on something that will impact

our entire athletic program and the community at large.” With such a large project, planning is essential. Once they finished the needs assessment in 2019, the objective was to find the biggest priority. After solidifying their biggest goals, they were able to start raising funds privately. Students can expect the stadium to start construction in early 2022. Clunie stated, “We are hoping to finalize commitments for the project in spring 2022, and hopefully, to break ground in May 2022. It’ll take around 2 years to complete—so call it spring/ summer of 2024.” Winning the Pioneer League Championship in 2020, the football team’s recent success speaks for itself. The team hopes the new field will boost the program’s success to even greater heights. Scott Abell, the Head Football Coach at Davidson, commented on the larger impact of this facility for both the student body and the alumni community at large: “The current stadium is so outdated with video technology and how we livestream our games to our families all over the country… an upgraded facility will allow us better capabilities to livestream the game out to our fans, so that’s one of the biggest things I’m excited about—how it’s going to enhance our fan experience.” Along with football, the track and field team will benefit greatly from this new facility, as the ability to host meets will greatly enhance the team’s recruiting process. Renny Waldron, the Head of Track at Davidson, commented on this new advantage. “We have a wealth of opportuni-

Current photo of Richardson Stadium, soon to be moved adjacent to Carol Grotness Belk Turf Field. Photo by Sydney Schertz ‘24 ties to run here: a great trail system, a track that’s in the middle of campus, excellent sports medicine programs; the one weakness has been that we haven’t had an area for the throwers. With a new throwing facility, we believe that it’ll attract a higher level of athlete and give our throwers an experience on par with our other Track and Field athletes,” said Waldron. In this way, the new field will help the team as a whole, as well as

fill a gap in the school’s ability to provide equal practice opportunities to all their athletes. Abell commented on how this new athletic facility will affect the overall student body by creating a space which greatly improves the scholar-athlete experience and improving dynamics within the entire community. “Every step of the project so far has been looked at one way: how can it enhance our entire campus?” said Abell.

Volleyball and Men’s Soccer Kick Off Strong Seasons

HARRISON TURNER ‘22 (HE/HIM) SPORTS WRITER

avidson Volleyball is off to a strong start as they opened the season by winning the Wildcat invitational at home, beating UNC Asheville and Western Carolina. They then travelled back to back weeks competing against strong out-of-conference opponents in two additional tournaments hosted by University of North Florida and College of Charleston. The ‘Cats went a combined 2-4, beating Georgia State and Campbell, while also putting up strong fights against Virginia Tech and College of Charleston. Next for the ‘Cats are two tough road out-of-conference matches against Wake Forest and UNC Chapel Hill coming up this weekend. They will then turn their focus to conference play next week at home against Saint Louis.

Weekly Sports Update

Outside hitter Annalyse Kitzberger ‘22 commented on the team’s performance so far, saying “We’ve grown a lot and competed well against a challenging non-conference lineup, with our last games before conference against Wake [Forest] and UNC this weekend. We’ve had great contributions from returners and all of our freshmen. We’re excited to start conference play at home against Saint Louis next Friday.” The team’s underclassmen have so far become important contributors on the court, as many freshmen are seeing valuable playing time. Isabel Decker ‘25, from La Grange, Illinois, was named A-10 Rookie of the Week after her strong performance in the North Florida Invitational. In addition to this accomplishment, the ‘Cats have

already accumulated four more A-10 accolades, three being attributed to Bella Brady ‘24. For the third week in a row, Brady was named A-10 Defensive Player of the Week. She is one of the top performers in the nation when it comes to digs per set (4.60) and looks to lead the Cats defensively moving forward. The Cats will be focused on performing well against strong A-10 opponents VCU and Dayton -- the defending champions -- as they look to compete for an A-10 title.

Davidson men’s soccer has seen a historic start to their 2021 campaign, and are currently ranked 22nd in the nation. The ‘Cats have already beaten multiple strong out-of-conference opponents including High Point and Campbell. Most recently, the team held off Mercer on the road in Georgia, winning 2-1. The Cats lone loss of the season came against UNC Chapel Hill at home last week. Davidson students and local fans showed up to support the ‘Cats as they took on top five ranked UNC Chapel Hill in a packed Alumni Stadium, including a historically high fan attendance of 2,163 people. The ‘Cats put up a strong fight, but fell short following two late Tar Heel goals in the 3-0 loss. Right-back Jack Wilson ‘22 commented on how the team plans to move forward, “We have had a lot of success so far against some good out of conference teams, but our main goal remains winning an A-10 title. We expect to be really competitive in conference play and look forward to starting that part of our season. The seniors on this team want to go out with an A-10 title under our belts, and we are determined to do so,”

Three time A-10 player of the week Bella Brady ‘24 defends a serve. Photo courtesy Tim Cowie; Davidson Sports and Information. said Wilson. The ‘Cats just have one remaining out-of-conference match today against Furman before starting A-10 play at St. Bonaventure this weekend. Head Coach Mike Babst commented on the season so far and what’s to come, saying “We’ve played a difficult schedule these first four games, and I think the commitment the guys have to one another have shown through in the results we have been able to get. It has been a really positive start, but the beginning of the season is a race to improve for every team, and we just have to keep making strides,” said Babst.

The captain leadership from both Henry Howell ‘22 and Mateo Alzate ‘22 have been crucial for the team both on and off the field, as the ‘Cats chemistry across the pitch has been elite thus far. The team has also seen strong contributions from underclassmen, including Vincent Bennage ‘25, who is tied for the lead in goals (3) along with Lucas Hauth ‘22. In terms of A-10 play, the Cats will look to compete against a strong slate of teams. Specifically, defending champs Fordham along with VCU will pose as strong threats to the ‘Cats ultimate goals of winning an A-10 title.

Game of the Week The DavidsonianStaff Field Hockey This Friday the ‘Cats will begin A-10 play at Belk Turf Field against UMass before going on the road for two games against App State and JMU. Look our for goals from Natalie Naticchia ‘23 and Anna Sharp ‘23, veterans who hope to lead the ‘Cats to a 1-0 start in conference play.

Editors-in-Chief News Editors Features Editor Senior Political Correspondent Perspectives Editor Arts and Culture Editor Sports Editor Living Davidson Editor Yowl Editors Photographer Web Editor Cartoonist Senior Copy Editors Multimedia Editor Social Media Manager Business Manager

Hope Anderson ‘22, Nada Shoreibah ‘23 Katie Stewart ‘23, Erin Papakostas ‘23 Ben Pate ‘22 Hunter Callaway ‘22 Ross Hickman ‘22 Julieta Lessne ‘24 Varun Maheshwari ‘23 Nora Klein ‘24 Josie Hovis ‘23 and Emma Begley-Collier ‘25 Sydney Schertz ‘24 Ben Gordon-Sniffen ‘23 Richard Farrell ‘22 Grace Hwang ‘24, Nathanael Bagonza ‘24 Jared Herr ‘22 Hailey Tsuda ‘24 Landon Schabes ‘22

Arts and Culture

Connection in The Refugees ELLIE STEWART ’24 (SHE/HER) THEATRE CRITIC

he Refugees, written and directed by Steve Kaliski ‘07, premiered at Davidson College in the Barber Theatre on August 19th. The cast consisted of a combined group of Davidson students, both current and former, and actors in the company at Adjusted Realists, an independent theatre group based in New York. The play takes place during a refugee crisis in Argos, Greece. The setting combines elements of ancient Greece with modernity. The plot centers on the privileged class of Argos. Queen Clytemnestra (Rachel McPhee, Adjusted Realists) opposes admitting refugees to Argos, while her children, Electra (Ariel Urim Chung ‘21) and Orestes (James Shakow ‘22), push for them to be allowed entry. Electra plots a ruse featuring Orestes and his partner, Pylades (Matt Mastromatteo, Adjusted Realists), in order to convince Clytemnestra to let the refugees into Argos. This plan is only partially successful: Clytemnestra allows only a third of the refugees into Argos. I saw The Refugees on the evening of August 21st. I arrived on campus that Saturday, and I hadn’t even finished moving into my dorm. In light of the new school year, with a changed set of Covid restrictions and fresh faces, I was incredibly excited to return to seeing theatrical productions as we once knew them. The Refugees was originally scheduled to premiere in the spring of 2020, but the opening of the show was stalled on account of the pandemic. Throughout the night, audience members experienced what felt like a return to normalcy. The set of The Refugees consisted of four large pillars across the back of the stage with opaque plastic sheets strung up between them. These sheets were used throughout the show to separate the refugees from the royalty, creating a literal physical barrier that

paralleled the emotional distance of these two groups. Disconnection serves as a major theme throughout the show. For example, Electra and Orestes endlessly research the logistics of letting the refugees into their country, despite having never met a refugee. Queen Clytemnestra refuses to even consider their entry. The distance that the royal family keeps from the refugees prevents them from truly knowing what it is that the refugees need. Tensions climax when the children finally convince the queen to visit the refugee camps right outside the walls of Argos. Delegates from groups of refugees present their testimonials and their experiences to her. After hearing the refugees speak about their lives, the sense of emotional distance that the royals had maintained from the refugees evaporates. These testimonials, presented by members of the chorus, were my favorite part of the production. Much of the show focuses on the lives of the people in privilege. We see Electra throughout the show trying her hardest to convince her mother, Queen Clytemnestra, that the refugees deserve a home and Argos can easily provide one. Nonetheless, once the royal family finally meets the refugees, they can no longer hide behind their lack of exposure. The first refugee, from Athens, tells their story of wanting to be reunited with their family—to have a home again. The second refugee, from Minoa, shares how they desire a sense of belonging in a place where they can be themself. The refugees recounting their experiences and hopes prevents the show from exclusively presenting the voices of the privileged. The Refugees, despite being named for the refugees, illuminates the dangers of allowing those who are not negatively impacted by a crisis to speak on behalf of those who are. When Electra and Orestes push for the refugees to be allowed into Argos, they are rejected out of hand. Only when the refugees speak for them-

James Shakow ‘22 (left), Ariel Urim Chung ‘21 (down front) and Rachel McPhee (back) in The Refugees. Image courtesy of Chris Record. selves does any change occur. The Refugees presents a discussion that we need to be having. People at Davidson often fail to consider life outside of this community and campus, myself included. Like the royalty of Argos, we often engage in important conversations while relying exclusively upon abstract concepts and statistics while excluding the people affected by these issues and their lived experiences. It’s important for us to remain part of a global community, to learn

more about the people around us, and to hear stories like these that may challenge our stances on these situations. The Refugees ran from August 19th to the 22nd, 2021. Half of all proceeds went to Refugee Support Services of Charlotte. Ellie Stewart ‘24 (she/her/hers) is from Memphis, TN, and currently undeclared. She can be reached for comment at elstewart1@ davidson.edu.

Fashion Dreams: Building a Brand YAMILEX PEREZ FIGUEREO ‘22 (SHE/HER)

Promotional Image for YMLX by Yami. Image courtesy of Yamilex Perez Figuereo ‘22

hy did I start my business? It’s actually simple. I’ve always wanted to be in the fashion industry. At 16, I started exploring it through pageants and modeling. Though I still have love for modeling, I decided to instead investigate my interest in fashion designing. I realized, however, that fashion is an extremely hard industry to take on when one has little experience; so, after much research, I came to the conclusion that it would be best to grow the brand as retail and later incorporate my own designs into it. In order to make the shift, I’m currently working on honing my sewing skills so hopefully by next year I’ll be able to add handmade exclusive designs to my brand. I’m passionate about fashion because it is a creative outlet open to anyone to find self expression and confidence. At least in my definition of fashion, there are no restrictions or boundaries on what you can do. It is a subjective phenomenon that manifests itself with whatever appeals to your aesthetics. As a result, it is a pretty unique experience for most, if not all, people. I launched YMLX by Yami, my clothing brand, on December 4th, 2020 at 12AM. I know that’s very specific, but it is a very memorable date for me. Aside from starting my business during the pandemic, it was towards the end of a very traumatic year and only a few months after my grandma had passed. Although I launched my business that day, I had been working on the idea since June of that same year. I began by deciding upon a name: it is the most important part of any business, so it took me some time to choose something meaningful to me and my customers. Drawing some inspiration from Rihanna’s brand, YMLX by Yami cleverly uses both my name and nickname. It also emphasizes my pride for my brand and self-love, which is an essential part of my business. The next step was to design the logo—another very important part of having a business. Even more than the name, the logo is what sticks in people’s minds when picturing a brand. You may not always see the name of a company, but you’ll

almost always recognize the logo, so I had to take my time in order to make mine memorable. A lot of logos were designed in the process of creating the one. I became frustrated with the process so there was a long pause. A couple months later, I started my junior year with no real intention of picking up where I left off; but when my grandma passed soon after I started the semester, I made the decision to go back home to support my family. That’s when the rest of the process unfolded: the business cards, the clothing tags, the Instagram page, the website building—all of it. Then finally, I was ready to launch the first week of December. Almost a year later, I can proudly say all of the sleepless nights, trials and errors, disappointments, and successes were completely worth it. This journey has been far from lonely. I have had the incredible support of my family, boyfriend and friends along the way. They have kept my motivation going at times when I was filled with hopelessness and disappointment. And although my most important supporter is no longer here to cheer me on and see how far I’ve taken my dreams, it is all dedicated to her: my grandma. It is also dedicated to the little girl behind my old house in the Dominican Republic sewing denim purses and clothes for her dolls from old clothes. I know she is beyond excited to see how much farther I can take our dreams. Along this journey I’ve learned that patience and organization are essential to the running of a business. It takes a lot of work to nurture a brand from scratch while taking care of other responsibilities. It is also important to always remind yourself that everyone’s journey is different. Another’s success may come sooner or later than your own, and that is normal. Not comparing your business and its success to others is key to maintaining a positive attitude. If you would like to support my brand, you can follow our Instagram page @ymlxbyyami and visit our website ymlxbyyami.com.

Yamilex Perez Figuereo ‘22 (she/hers) is a Psychology major from Boston, MA. She can be reached for comment at yaperezfiguereo@davidson.edu

Living Davidson

Crossword Across 1 Took a chair 4 Pro-pet adoption grp. 9 Word with fence or sign 13 Aviate 14 Motionless 15 Not fooled by 16 Request a union? 19 Doe or buck 20 Tavern 21 Watering the plants, e.g. 22 Kid who’s adorbs 24 Midday appointment 25 ___ Island Ferry 27 Dish for cereal or soup 28 Buckwheat grain 29 Make unlawful 30 “Criminy!” 34 First responder (abbr.) 35 Swamp Fox Francis ___ 38 “Caught ya!” 39 Sunset’s direction 41 Foldable bed 42 Epic Greek literary work 44 Poems “to” folks 46 Boaster’s retort 47 Dorothy or Louis 50 Hoity-toity sorts 51 “Give it ___!” 52 Page of an atlas 53 Singer Redding 56 Union request? 59 One of Moses’s mounts 60 Inanimate zodiac sign 61 Fall back

A MODEST PROPOSAL Crosswords by Victor Fleming ‘73

62 Shredded cabbage salad 63 Mild oaths 64 Skeleton prefix

Down 1 Bay Area cops, for short 2 Skin cream ingredient 3 Puts in an expected role 4 Fireplace fleck 5 Act as a sub (for) 6 ___ one’s curiosity 7 Kind of soda or sandwich 8 20-Across beverage 9 Fault in the asphalt 10 Vidalia vegetable 11 Mall unit 12 Copier’s need 17 ___ or Dare 18 Trash barge 23 Bears, Tigers or Lions 24 Taboo thing 25 Distort, as data 26 Hardly wild 27 ___ and switch 29 Sibs of a sis 31 Proceed fashionably 32 Solvers’ cries 33 Bygone bird 36 Taiwanese computer 37 Literary unicorn whose name is in UNICORN 40 Not fast enough 43 Cabinet department 45 Responsibility 46 Not completely

47 48 49 50 52

Grassy yards Disney mermaid Peach ___ Brazilian ballroom dance Sierra Club founder John

54 55 57 58

Big screen brand Utah lily Along in years Dorm overseers, briefly

Told You So: Dealing with Loss

Lately, I’ve been dealing with a lot of loss. My friends and I are trying to support each other, but it’s so hard when we’re all experiencing our own kind of grief. And with classes and everything starting, it feels like the rest of the world is just moving on. How do I deal with it all? -Sorrowful and Unsure

would like to begin by saying that I am deeply sorry for your loss. Losing anyone close to you is an experience that is so gruelling, and, within that, you sometimes lose sight of yourself. You are so strong—stronger than you even know.

Grief is a response to loss that each and every person undergoes differently. While some people cope by remembering who they have lost and the significance of that person, other people throw themselves into their work to try to avoid the pain. These different methods of coping also mean that people need different amounts of time to recuperate from a loss. Like most things in life, you should never feel pressured to move at the pace of others. You are different from everyone else, and that means you will adjust on your own time. While grief can consume you and truly take over every aspect of your life, it won’t be that way forever. Now, let’s get to some advice. Since classes have begun, that is a perfect opportunity for distraction, if that’s something you think will help in your healing process. Remember that distraction and engaging in activities does not mean that you are forgetting—it means that you are adjusting. You can go to class and make your best attempt to focus on the material in front of

you. If you can’t do that right away, that is okay too. Taking every new day or task in small increments will allow you to feel comfortable with each new step. I sometimes like to think about tradition in relation to loss. Someone is only gone when you want them to be. Otherwise, their memory, spirit, and personality will last forever so long as you resurface the memories and love you felt for them every so often. Most people know of Día de los Muertos, or The Day of the Dead, a holiday celebrated in Mexico. During this day, families and friends gather to celebrate their loved ones who have passed. While this tradition occurs annually, you can incorporate practices from it into your daily routine. Just because someone is gone does not mean that they can not come with you on your journey. I also recommend trying not to stigmatize the topic. If you’ve lost somebody, talk about it when you are ready. Try not to omit them from conversations out of fear of awkwardness. Both you and them deserve a place in dialogue. At first, hearing their name in conversation will be scary, saddening, and potentially angering, but it will eventually allow you to bring up the topic when you need to. Additionally, the pressure of school and

Illustration by Sam Cochran ’24 mental health are bound to accumulate and weight down on you. Remember that you do NOT have to juggle it all, especially not alone. If your mental health is feeling like it is going to collapse when you are trying to support yourself and your friends while dealing with academics, and maybe even athletics too, take a step back. Sometimes situations like these, as horrible as they are, can be an opportunity to reprioritize your commitments. Have you taken on too much? Are there things that do not feel crucial anymore? While you are trying to keep your mind occupied, remember to let yourself rest and take a break too. Not only is this an opportunity to maybe cut out some parts of your life, this is also the time to indulge in some activities you enjoy. It is perfectly acceptable, encouraged even, to prioritize the parts of your life that bring you happiness. If you like to cook, have a friend bring you to Chidsey

Dorm and take advantage of those kitchens! If you like to read for pleasure but have not gotten the chance recently, maybe excuse yourself from an eating house meeting and take the night to yourself. In the midst of supporting other people and yourself, do not forget to ask for help if you need it. Yours truly, Told You So To make an appointment with a counselor at Davidson, whether a regular appointment, emergency appointment, or to reach the on-call counselor, call 704-894-2300. Other 24/7 emergency options include calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, texting the Text Crisis Line (text HOME to 741741), or calling the Mecklenburg County Crisis (CriSyS) Hotline at 704-566-340 (select option 1).

The

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Irreverent student journalism since 2004. Castigat Ridendo Mores.

inside

yowl.com/Emma

Studies Show that All People Who Read Calvin and Hobbes as Children Take Existentialism in College Page 21212121

The No Sophomore Issue

September 15, 2021

How to pass off Advil as Adderall to Davidson High Schoolers Page 2nd Job

Move Over Symptom Tracker, It’s Time for the Pre-Med Tracker: How Many of Y’all Are Now Just Bio Majors Page 99

Yowl Editors Set Up Second Meeting with Carol Quillen to Disband YikYak Page We’re Funnier

Why Are the Freshmen so Confident? Sit Down, You Little Boys. Page 1.5

Things I’ve Learned as a First Year

s a first-year, these three weeks have flown by, and the learning curve has been sharp. In the Davidson spirit of collaboration, here are some things I have learned so far, so all of us students new to Davidson can compare notes: 1.The Health and Wellness Center is closed Saturdays and Sundays so make sure to get COVID symptoms on weekdays only. 2. If you hold a tide pod in your hand as you walk down four flights of stairs to the laundry room it will melt in your hand. 3. Hole punching papers in the library sounds like the tin man waking up from a seven-year slumber, so weigh your options, bring WD-40 and be prepared to make some enemies.

Letter From Your Friend Abroad

ey, everyone! I’m just writing to give my friends at home an update about my amazing time abroad in [Insert Western European/ Mediterranean Country Here]. While looking at the sparkling clear waters of the ocean, I really feel like I am in Mamma Mia! In the time I have spent in the cute boutiques and gift shops, I have been given a chance to reflect. I really don’t know how I ever thought I could fit all of the things I am buying in my carry-on! I definitely will be checking a bag. I would say probably the most culturally important thing I have engaged with is the food. There are so many delicacies I have tried in my time abroad. For one, did you know that McDonald’s is a chain in a bunch of different countries, but that your chicken tendies in France taste different and also for some reason you get particularly weird stares when you eat it in your “I <3 Paris” t-shirt? I know what you really have all been waiting to hear about--the nightlife. Now let me tell you, it is really something else. Now I can get lit and not worry about being written up for both public intoxication AND underage drinking! But seriously, there is some-

thing so culturally enriching about blacking out on vodka crans that are like, locally sourced in that area of the Netherlands, you know? And the MUSIC omg,I swear, even you people in Turner, you really don’t know Ke$ha until you’ve jumped up and down to her songs in a bar in Prague. But you should know that study abroad isn’t all fun and games. I have had to deal with a lot of really difficult things--locals can’t pronounce my name, jet lag hits different, and you won’t believe how much your feet hurt after walking around the tourist district! Your shoes will get all beat up, too--I can’t tell you how much I wish I had brought my F shoes. I know everyone at home is probably wishing they were me right now, and I just want to say, don’t give up on your dream of traveling. I truly believe that you don’t really have a full grasp of the scope of humanity until you have traveled in a small pod of mostly white people from your college to take classes in English at another university in the gentrified neighborhood of another country. Lol, just kidding. It was the flying economy that did it for me! See you soon, Wistful Homebody

4. Become a shadow of a human to avoid being cyberbullied on YikYak. Do and say nothing identifiable, tell no one your name ever. Fight anonymity with anonymity. On the other hand, Yik Yak is a panopticon and visibility is a trap, delete it and every other social media and be as free as you can be from its suffocating grasp. 5.If there is a lull in a conversation, try talking about the resident skunk on campus. The skunk is in fact a wonderful conversation starter, everyone has seen him strolling about. 6.If you came to campus a vegan or vegetarian, for some people it might be time to switch to hunter-gatherer mode, searching for whatever protein sources you can. 7.Everyone here holds doors with tenacity. Not holding the door for someone is literally an honor council reportable offense, as is not saying “Thank you” and “Of course” throughout the interaction. 8.If you are queer and looking for a safe place to congregate before the Lavender Lounge reopens, the cereal aisle in Earth Fare is an option if you are into the crunchy gay scene. Granola in any and every sense of the word. 9.If you want to lower your bed, plan on hitting the gym for at least three months in advance or call your Home Depot lesbian friend. 10.Showering is the only privacy you will get, so choose wisely if you want to cry, dissociate, catastrophize, or masturbate. 11.Every day is a roller coaster of lessons learned so this list is constantly evolving. Good luck to all other first-years out there, keep on truckin’.

Breaking: Class of ‘22 Has No F*cking Clue What’s Going on Anymore

he air is crisp, it’s about 4:30 and the Nummit bench tables begin to fill up with pitchers and upperclassmen who have been drinking since 10 a.m. “I think I speak for all of us when I say the senior class has absolutely no idea how we got here,” said senior Dylan Sprite this past Friday. The Yowl is sitting down with four seniors in an attempt to gain perspective (and a free beer). The class of ‘22 is the only class at Davidson that has experienced a complete Pre-COVID year. “It’s sad what the underclassmen have missed out on: Frolics, Union Mozzarella Sticks, and sharing one collective Juul without fear,” Amy Yard pointed out. Amy went home in March of 2020 and

The

Yowl

didn’t return to campus until a few weeks ago. Yard said she keeps mistaking sophomores as doppelgangers for seniors who have dropped out. Daniella Soup claims she is suffering from “PSS,” or Permanent Sophomore Syndrome like many fellow classmates. Soup explains her symptoms include still feeling nervous while being carded, instinctively walking to New Dorm after class, forgetting about major requirements and frequent panic attacks when remembering graduation is only 8 months away. Other symptoms include feeling extreme guilt surrounding the death of clubs due to anyone who knew how to run it has now graduated, relating to the struggle of the class of ‘19 trying to explain Union

WRITERS Border Collie Jo Jo Circus Grandma Hud The Usual Crowd

QUOTE OF THE WEEK *coughs* “I swear to God it’s not COVID.” - Literally Everyone on Campus rn

Station, and pseudo-planning the semester abroad that will never happen. Jonathan Hyatt is fearful of how he will be perceived by job recruiters. “I mean the only job I had in the summer of 2020 was handing out masks at the front of a JC Penny’s, and this past summer I was a remote LifeGuard. And, my major is f*cking political science.” Hyatt also said he tried to seek help at the Career Center, only to be disappointed when finding the Matthews Center at the bottom of Union. “I mean one minute you’re trying to fulfill your P.E. credit, and then next minute it’s two years later and you haven’t fulfilled it and have 18 emails from Sandy threatening a court date,” Sprite detailed. “And, I mean how was I supposed to know we have a foregin language

credit? I haven’t been able to get a hold of my Chem advisor since sophomore year,” Yard complained. The group reminisced about the days when Todd Sigler reigned supreme and students had to use tiny pencils at Union. “You know these days it’s all Patio this, Yik Yak that. These kids will never know the epic highs and lows of the Union Red Line Special,” Soup pointed out. “All we seniors really want is to shake our ass on an elevated surface before we have to enter corporate America,” Lard stated. “And a hug.” So please, campus, be kind to your seniors. And hit the damn handicap button between classes.

Top Five Outfits if the Met Gala Theme was “F”

1. Navy blue dress with the word “Keystone” printed in silver 2. Racoon inspired furry costume 3. High waisted American Eagle shorts with a cropped white tank top (but make it ~camp~) 4.Delta Police Force inspired pantsuit for a real #girlboss moment 5. Strapless dress with a pong table printed on the front and ‘Saturdays are for the Boys’ printed on the back.

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian. Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth.