Davidsonian 9-14-22

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Why Davidson? First as a student, and now as President.

Historically Davidson’s limited parking has sparked frustration among the student body. This year, the rules and regulations are even blurrier as campus construction projects have temporarily seized numerous parking spaces. Some students resort to unconventional measures to locate a space: “If it gives you any insight, I followed a girl in my car walking from New Dorm to the back of Satellite to get her parking spot, and I felt like a creep,” said Charlotte Welsby ‘25.

idea has been met with various challenges over the years,” Kraeger said. As of now, these notions have not come to fruition.

Park and Bark: Students Raise Concerns About Spot Availability

A key word is belonging. So for me, that’s a matter central to my faith. And as a leader who is not serving in a congregation but instead

is working in the wider world here in higher education at Davidson, my job is to make sure we’re a welcoming place and that we’re doing our work of education: preparing people to develop humane instincts, discipline, and creative minds for leadership and service. I see that as highly compatible with the religious tradition out of which Davidson rose. We also keep in mind that Davidson is an incredibly diverse place. And Presbyterians are, you know, fewer than one in 10 students. So we’re interested in committing to all students, all faculty and staff. And that institutional ethos

Davidson as a student was just a wonderful opportunity that came from my English teacher. She was married to a Davidson alum. And she handed me a brochure when I was a junior about a particular scholarship here, the Stewart scholarship, and told me all about Davidson, and why I should apply and how it changed her family’s life and how she thought it was a great fit for me. And so I’d say it’s the greater Davidson network who helped me find my way here. The first time, I was excited to be able to play baseball, and also to get to do academics at a Presbyterian College in North Carolina. I mean, it just seemed to all line up as a great fit. I was from Indianapolis. So it was about a 10 hour drive, which seemed like an exciting adventure for college. Now, I’ve been a committed Davidson alum my whole life; it changed my life for the better. And so the opportunity, when I was contacted about this, was something too good to pass up. The conversations with the search committee were all really energetic, and it seemed like I could make a contribution here. So it just worked out really well.

What’s the first thing that you want to accomplish as President?

“There are two construction projects afoot, they both involve parking change, and they are inversely related to each other,” explained Holthouser. One design is a new athletic stadium for the lacrosse and football teams, which will be located west of Belk Field Hockey Stadium, and completion is expected in December of 2023. Its emergence caused a net loss of 95 parking spaces. The second development is the expansion of the Greenhouse parking lot by over 100 spaces. Due to labor and supply shortages, expected completion was delayed by one month to October 2022. Complications

There were three wonderful students on the search committee. So I feel that conversation began [...] with the search process, with Haley and Paul and Kennedy [...] I appreciate them as

CAYLA BERNSTEIN ‘25 (SHE/HER) STAFF WRITER

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Bay two of Baker Lot remains half empty everyday. “The issue is that it’s just far from the main campus,” said Sallie Schutz ‘24.

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in design and construction plans have added significant challenges to Davidson’s facilities and engineering department.

Is it always going to be like this? Typically, students drive in circles around campus and some have taken to pursuing people for spots. Davidson College’s Director of Facilities and Engineering David Holthouser and Campus Police staff assistant Andy Kraeger provided clarification and insight from their departments on how the parking shortage has

I’m already looking to 2026 as the year of the graduation of our current first years. And also we’re going to start looking at 2037 as the bicentennial year. Those students, those future Davidson students, are already alive, the students in the class of 2037. So how do we think about promoting Davidson, encouraging people and families to know about who we are now, so that they’ll want to come here and that Davidson would be in a strong position a decade from now when they make that choice? You mentioned the Presbyterian Church earlier. We read that you are an ordained minister. Can you talk about how that will inform your work here?

The first thing I want to do is affirm Davidson’s strengths, [and] be an ambassador for Davidson in the world. And in order to do that I’ve got learning to do. I want to listen and learn from students, faculty, staff, and alumni on where Davidson is today to figure out how to make it better. The student experience and

should be pervasive and it’s one of inclusion and equality.

I want to continue to help us as a community to think about the future. And so building on a great tradition, how do we focus 100% on the future, which means current students, their experience, and the experience of future students at Davidson? And that work is already underway. And I’m joining it in progress.

BRIGID MCCARTHY ‘25 (SHE/HER) AND KATIE STEWART ‘23 (SHE/HER) EDITORS-IN-CHIEF

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The Yowl gives advice on finding parking on campus Student Journalism Since 1914

Another concern overseen by Campus Police is that students have been parking in faculty spaces to the detriment of Davidson professors and staff. Kraeger has observed that “primarily students [are] parked in faculty/staff allocated parking spaces early in the morning when staff arrives on Campuscampus.”Policeare currently workshopping parking solutions with ideas like a parking deck, varying the price of parking permits by location, and restricting the number of vehicle permits issued using a lottery system. “Each

Luke Watson ‘24 rounds up and reviews new music of the summer North electionsabortionpreparesCarolinatoconsideratmidterm

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Simply put, student vehicles outweigh parking spots. To accommodate for the shortage, Baker Lot bay two opened for student parking, adding an additional 200 spaces.

Steph Curry ‘22 celebrates three milestones at his alma mater

September 14, 2022

Rather than occupying space in bay two, some vehicles have gone rogue. “More students have been making their own parking space by parking along curbs and in fire lanes,” said Kraeger. “This becomes an issue if there is an emergency and emergency service vehicles cannot get to their location.”

In just a month, Greenhouse lot construction will be complete, providing some relief to the overcrowding. “Lack of understanding of the policy and parking regulations has caused a lot of confusion,” Kraeger explained. “Many students do not read the website carefully.” For example, during both after-hours on weekdays and a large part of weekends, the parking directive is more flexible and can mitigate some of the parking scramble. Student parking regulations dictate that “students may park in employee parking areas after hours, from 6 p.m.-5 a.m. weekdays and from 6 p.m. Friday to 5 a.m. Mondays (except Vail Commons, which is a 24 hour lot).”

student accessibility and affordability to even make possible a student experience... those are central in my commitments and priorities. And I want to learn more about how to support that fully.

Editors Interview the Newest President of The College

impacted the community. Before construction started, there were 903 student spaces, 821 faculty and staff spaces, and 72 handicap spaces. The developments have eaten into available parking, leaving only 757 student spaces available; meanwhile, Davidson issued 795 residential student parking passes and 55 commuter passes for the year.

Independent

“I am sorry that the Greenhouse lot construction is causing the temporary challenge,” Holthouser said. “I ask everyone to be patient with us […] once the new 200 space Greenhouse lot opens up, I think the pressure will subside.”

What are your long term goals? Do you have any visions right now that you want to work on for a few years down the line?

Sure. I mean, first, I embrace Davidson’s reformed tradition. And at the center of that tradition is the statement of faith that we’re all created equals before God. And so equality becomes a fundamental principle and value of mine, which is also that of the institution. So the most important aspect of faith for me is that we all have dignity, and we all deserve respect. And so how do we educate people to be able to treat fellow citizens with respect? And then how do we shape a community around that notion of mutual respect, equality?

How exactly do you plan to engage or respond to ongoing campus conversations, such as diversity, racial justice, reproductive justice, or freedom of speech?

Douglas Hicks ‘90 Begins His Time at Davidson, Again

President Hicks enjoying a Davidson orientation event. Photo by Christopher Record

Anaya Patel ‘25 recently formed a direct action committee within PPGA that focuses on the politics of reproductive justice. The club plans to organize “Get Out the Vote” campaigns and fundraisers. Roe v. Wade getting overturned motivated PPGA to get more involved than ever.

In service of these goals, PPGA works to make contraception easily available for students. This is most noticeably seen through the Wellness Wendy vending machine located in base Union that offers discounted Plan

CO-EDITOR-IN-CHIEF CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

Georgia Hall ‘25

Gabby Morreale ‘23, who is pro-choice, wanted to acknowledge a different kind of nuance and believes in de-centering the

First I want them to know I’m a huge supporter and advocate for their experience. That I was a student here — a student leader here — and it was my student experience, particularly with faculty and staff, teachers, [and] mentors that led me into my career in higher education. And so I want to make sure

“In an ideal world, I would want the right to abortion to be available, but my hope is that the rate of people who would actually use that right is almost nonexistent, because we would have improved all of the reasons that women get abortions,” she said.

they have that kind of high quality experience. Also, I want to have fun in this job. I want to enjoy it and get to know students and help be a part of their journey, the enjoyable parts and the parts when it’s hard times or tragedy hits. And we’ve already had that with the loss of a

Minister Alum Accepts College Presidency with Excitement

Nada Shoreibah ‘23

Campbell Walker ‘25

Andrew Elkadi ‘23, Varun Maheshwari ‘23

While medical exceptions for abortion are allowed under North Carolina’s current law, State Senator Natasha Marcus, a Democrat who represents the 41st Senate District and who lives in Davidson, predicts that these exceptions will be difficult to qualify for.

basis depending on what Trump does, what Biden says, what inflation does, what gas prices are. But we know that in midterm elections Democrats tend to lose seats both at the federal level and the state level,” she said.

Marcus also pushes for the addressal of factors that lead to abortions.

At Davidson, students have access to affordable resources through the Center for Student Health and Wellbeing. The Center, in addition to reproductive care, can write prescriptions for oral birth control and perform PAP

One Davidson organization keenly aware of the midterm elections’ effect on reproductive rights is the campus chapter of Planned Parenthood Generation Action (PPGA).

“Ifsmears.astudent is pregnant and seeks help from the Center for Student Health and WellBeing, we would meet with her, listen to how she would like to proceed and refer her to an OB/GYN for further care as needed, in whatever that looks like for the student. We refer students to various specialists daily. Unfortunately, the Center is not equipped to manage all health concerns for all students. We have been fortunate to partner with Atrium and other providers in our community as resources,” Johnson said.

Bailey Maierson ‘25

“This year is going to look so different than any other, yet much will not change at all. We’ll be doing more work than ever but we have the same exact goal as always — to work to protect the rights [of] bodily autonomy for all and to educate [and] hold fun, engaging, and informative events. And [to] volunteer in the community [...] and just do as much as we can on and off campus,” she said.

DavidsonianThe Staff

Well, exactly the same is, I would say, the people; the commitment of the faculty and staff to the students. My first month here, the students were arriving [...] and the faculty were arriving and I just love to see their commitment and their passion for the place. The excitement of students arriving was what I felt in 1986. One fun thing that’s different is I can guarantee you there was no football team or women’s soccer team meeting my vehicle and carrying all my stuff [...] we had to do that all by ourselves. And I’d also say I’m grateful for the increased diversity of experience, identity, [and] socioeconomic status of the student body, and the more diverse faculty as well. There’s certainly more we can do now, to continue to make Davidson open and accessible to students, faculty, [and] staff from all backgrounds. But that’s been a notable change. It’s different than it was in the late 80s. And that’s been positive progress. This is the last question: what do you want students to know about you?

Emma Begley-Collier ‘25, Josie Hovis ‘23

Roe Ripples Across North Carolina Ahead of Midterm Elections

Brigid McCarthy ‘25, Katie Stewart ‘23

If Democrats lose two seats in the Senate and three seats in the House, Republicans will gain the 60% majority they need to override the governor’s veto and will be able to pass legislation without Cooper’s support.

“The political landscape shifts on a daily

According to NBC, Roe’s relation to the right to privacy has spread fear regarding the possibility of criminalized contraception. Davis eventually decided to keep the IUD despite the bad cramps, quite literally taking great pain to ensure reproductive security.

“I’ll continue to push through and learn how to manage my symptoms until it needs to be removed in five to six years,” Davis said.

Abortion is legal in North Carolina up until 20 weeks and 6 days into a pregnancy. The November 8 midterm elections will likely determine its fate for the next two years.

B and other reproductive essentials such as condoms and pregnancy tests.

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Gray Eisler ‘24, Bilal Razzak ‘25

“An abortion ban does not get rid of all [the] reasons why people seek abortion. We need to address maternal mortality rates that are very high — especially in North Carolina and especially among Black women — poverty, lack of insurance, lack of access to affordable childcare, [and] birth control access,” she said.

Sierra Brown ‘25

Marcus is also the primary sponsor of a senate bill titled “Codify Roe and Casey Protections,” which would guarantee the right to abortion if passed. All 22 Democrats in the Senate have signed on as supporters of the bill, but it is unlikely to pass as long as there is a Republican majority. Marcus remains worried about midterm elections.

Isabelle Easter ‘25, Bailey Maierson ‘25

“[Our] main goals are to fight like hell to get everyone registered to vote,” said Alona Webb-Newton ‘23, PPGA’s President.

conversation away from the right to abortion and focusing it more on social programs that could reduce the need for abortions.

Marcus elaborated on her desire to see more consideration of women’s health in these decisions.“These restrictions do not acknowledge that those sorts of complications happen. And to me, that is a failure to show medical understanding, but possibly more importantly, compassion for the fact that there is a woman’s life at issue in every pregnancy,” she said.

“Last year, Student Health and Well-Being assisted PPGA in securing Plan B pills for the vending machine from a supplier with a lower price, and PPGA then priced them below cost,” said Mark Johnson, Davidson’s Chief Communications and Marketing Officer.

Installed in 2019 with the help of a Davidson grant, Wellness Wendy is accessible 7 a.m.-1 a.m. every day of the week.

One campus group that preferred to stay out of the limelight were pro-life students. While a number of organizations with strong pro-life memberships were reached out to, no one was willing to interview with their name on the record.“Iam fairly certain that some of my friends view the issue of abortion as something not up for debate, a universal right that every woman should have, and therefore see me as misogynistic. But I believe that abortion has more to do about the life inside a woman’s body, and thus not so much a ‘woman’s right’ issue but a being’s natural right issue,” said one pro-life student. This person did acknowledge some nuance in the topic, specifically in the morality of abortions before cardiac activity around 5 weeks.

Following the overturning of Roe v. Wade, Democrat and North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper’s veto power has become a key tool for maintaining the right to an abortion. And veto he will: Cooper committed to vetoing any legislation that restricts abortion while he is in office. But the clock is ticking in a strange governmental game of musical chairs: while the state’s next governor won’t be elected for another two years, midterm elections place Cooper’s veto power on the chopping block.

After suffering from period cramps, Chloe Davis ‘23 decided to get an IUD when she learned that she could afford it under Davidson’s insurance plan. Once the IUD was placed, her cramps only became more debilitating.“They’dgotten so bad that at one point I seriously considered visiting an emergency clinic to take [the IUD] out,” she said.

“I [had] a lot of emotions — anger, frustration, sadness,” said PPGA Vice President Rachel Clubine Horowitz ‘23, describing her own thoughts following the Dobbs ruling. “But the biggest sentiment was ‘okay, what now’? How can we move forward with this devastating news and [...] PPGA is doing a lot of work this semester to [...] counter it.”

Sahana Athreya ‘25

David Sowinski ‘22

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a first entree to meet students. And then back in April, I met with and had lunch with the SGA president and with the President of the honor code, Israel and Michael, and my first day [...] I Zoomed with each of them because they hold important student leadership roles. Using the official organizations of the college with elected representatives is an important way.Iwill continue to meet with as many student groups as possible and individual students who want to find their way to meet. I think a lot of it will happen organically. But I’m also trying to be more intentional about it to make sure I’m seeing a representative group of students and helping students be excited to be here and encourage their learning. And, you know, I’m also a faculty member. So I hope to engage with the intellectual life in some important ways. I gave the Honor Code ceremony talk, and we challenged them and and talked about Plato and Rousseau and Foucault and some other thinkers to get them to think about the kind of philosophical questions associated with moral life and with honor in particular. What’s the biggest thing that’s changed since you were a student? What’s the biggest thing that has stayed exactly the same?

PPGA plans to expand their outreach at Davidson and to the broader community, volunteer at abortion clinics in Charlotte, protest “crisis pregnancy centers,”— pro-life clinics posing as abortion providers — and arrange transportation for students who need help getting Educationabortions.istheother initiative central to their mission. As soon as the Dobbs decision was announced, PPGA’s Education Chair Mattie Baird ‘25 helped organize an educational series focused on support, the different kinds of abortions people seek, and what pro-choice students can do to help the cause. Despite the national upheaval, Baird finds PPGA’s educational events familiar.

Nora Klein ‘24

“It [...] may require doctors and hospital lawyers to jump through a lot of hoops in order to prove it,” she said. “No one [...] thinks that abortion should be available on demand right up to the point of birth. [...] What we are saying is if at eight and a half months, there is a sudden, unexpected, dire need to get that fetus out, that doctor should not live in fear that he’s going to be prosecuted.”

“With the current climate, I don’t trust that I’d have access to affordable birth control if I were to remove it.” News

Ben Gordon-Sniffen ‘23

KATIE STEWART ‘23 (SHE/HERS)

student before his senior year, Colin McGirt. And so I’d want students to know that I stand with them and will do everything I can to equip and support faculty and staff to make their experience great. And I hope to see them around campus and get to know them.

Following Roe’s overturn the Health Center procured 200 doses of Plan B, which they gave to PPGA. PPGA plans on offering Plan B to anyone who cannot afford the vending machine’s fee. Students can contact wellnesswendy@davidson.edu for more information. Still, PPGA members felt that the administration in particular could be doing more.“Iwould like the administration to go about the procedures to make sure that abortion pills are accessible for Davidson students at the clinic, because it’s very self-managed at home depending on how many weeks you are. I would like the Davidson administration to talk about abortion when they’re talking to freshmen or [during] hall talks and [events] like that. I would like [the administration] to say the word [abortion] and talk about what they can offer [students] at this school, because right now they don’t offer anything. I would like them to come up with a solution where it’s not Planned Parenthood students on campus doing everything, but the administration also helping us,” said Webb-Newton.

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I think it’s really committing to listening to what faculty, staff and students are saying about what is going in the right direction and what more needs to happen. An evaluation of where schools are at this point and not only what they need to do, but a timeline that people can be held accountable to is very important. When you look at things like the percentage of Black disabled people in juvenile facilities, youth who have learning or mental health disabilities who are not getting the services they need and then winding up in prison, these are terrible failures within the system. The unemployment rate of disabled people is twice as high as that of non-disabled people. Academic institutions have to really look at these issues more deeply. One other very important issue is we want to be creating environments where students, faculty,

There’s still very common complaints at many universities that students are not getting the accommodations that they need or that the way they have to justify the accommodations they need can be onerous. This can result in students not getting the support that they need which can adversely affect their ability to be successful in school. While we have a higher percentage of disabled people going to university than previously, we still have a higher dropout rate of disabled students than for non-disabled students. More universities are doing better work, but there is a consistent complaint across the country that in areas like diversity, equity, and inclusion, disability is not meaningfully integrated. Disability is looked at as access, but students come to universities to learn and they want to be learning about things like disability studies. They want to see disability integrated into gender studies, American literature, Black studies, Asian studies, not just one area. The more faculty are integrating disability studies into the work that they’re doing, like here, the better. But I think, even here, disabled students are not happy with the fact that diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts are not substantially including disabled students.

The development of coalitions of disabled people working with other coalitions or other rights-based groups is really an accomplishment that I am proud to be a part of. Looking at the transformation of society, part of it is through the changing or introduction of laws, but it’s also very much the empowerment of disabled individuals and I think it’s really disabled people believing in ourselves, believing that we have rights, and working towards these changes. That’s something I feel most positive about that’s coming from within the community. as 2022 Reynolds

J

Crime Log Time Reported Description/Location 08/03/2022 at 0919 hrs Misdemeanor Larceny: Injury to Real Property Chambers 09/06/2022 at 1301 hrs Larceny Felony (Bicycle) Summit Coffee House 08/27/2022 at 2352 hrs Alcohol ConsumeOffense:Under 21 Armfield 09/08/2022 at 1400 hrs Larceny Felony (Bicycle) Flowe Dorm 09/08/2022 at 1140 hrs Larceny Felony (Bicycle) Armfield Dorm 09/02/2022 at 1130 hrs Felony Larceny Sparrows Nest Features

and staff don’t feel ashamed or threatened by disclosing their disability. Whether it’s attention deficit disorder, diabetes, epilepsy, intellectual disabilities, we want people to be able to feel like they can bring their whole selves forward and not be ridiculed or held back for it.

How has the pandemic affected the disabled community?

Well, a very large percentage of the people who died from COVID had disabilities, with two of the underlying conditions being diabetes and hypertension. A good thing that happened is that as a country we learned that we could do things in many different ways. Social media, Zoom were very important. On the other hand I think we need to use these new approaches in a way that doesn’t relegate disabled people to only being on a screen. We need to make sure that disabled people are

Lecturer

udy Heumann is an internationallyrecognized disability rights activist, author, and speaker. She organized the sitins and protests that eventually pressured the Carter administration to implement protections for disabled people. Her activism led to the passing of the Americans with Disabilities Act, and she worked with Congress to develop and refine the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. She served in both the Clinton and Obama administrations. On September 7, Heumann delivered the Reynolds lecture. During her visit, she agreed to sit down with me for an interview.

Simply put, being a disabled person that was experiencing discrimination. Learning and following in my parents footsteps and other parents who were fighting for us to get a good education, and recognizing as I was getting older how the disparities for disabled people were significant. When looking at our brothers and sisters and neighbors, there were limited expectations for us and the systems around us in education, transportation, housing, healthcare, and climate. There were many barriers and the only way we were really going to be able to address some of these was to come together and work on solutions How have you seen disability activism intersect with other social justice issues?

What spurred you to get involved in disability activism?

Judy Heumann Serves and Speaks

Judy Heumann. Photo courtesy of Collective Commons

visiting schools like Davidson, where do you most see colleges and universities fall short when it comes to meeting the needs of disabled people?

NADA SHOREIBAH ‘23 (SHE/HERS) EDITOR

able to come to school, go to work, and if they need to be going to class or working remotely from a health perspective that’s something that should be available.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

What accomplishment are you most proud of from your advocacy?

FEATURES

Disabled people come from all identities. That’s something that frequently is not really taken seriously enough. Regardless of your gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, there are disabled people in every community. As a disabled Jewish woman, one area for me is the need to be able to work within the Jewish community and the women’s community about who we are, what the issues are, and what changes we want to have made in an environment that feels reasonably secure. From your own college experience and

What does it look like for colleges to do better?

To mollify the tumultuous musings that came with my arrival to campus, I have begun to adjust the framework wherein I navigate college. Rather than viewing college as a single experience that takes place over four years, it is better to think of it as four individual experiences to which a variable number of consistent factors lend some continuity.

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Moreover, never has a location existed in my life that has such a significant and fraught impact on me: a place that can feel safe and threatening; a place where I feel at home but also unwelcome; a place where I have formed both the most enriching and most regrettable bonds. Someone in my life told me I have a long distance, love/hate relationship with Davidson College, and I would venture that this is not a sentiment exclusive to me. As such, the different circumstances under which I am back here add a layer of disquiet to an already unpredictable landscape. Therefore, for me to consider college as an aspect of my life defined by singularity is unwise and harmful.Anadjusted framework like the one I am working to adopt can be applied, I believe, to many other areas of life. To allow your experiences to crystallize, as I did, is to prime your brain for discomfort or even disappointment. Viewing every segment of

- Master a simple introduction. When you run into someone you don’t know, all you have to say is, “hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet.” Ask their name, then repeat it loudly and clearly like it’s the most beautiful, interesting name you’ve ever heard. When you meet someone, make them feel like they are the most important person you have ever met. For all you know, they could be.

Returning for my second year at Davidson College, I can confidently say that I have never felt such a jarring combination of the familiar and the unfamiliar. At the time of my departure last May, the culmination of experiences I had had here until that point crystallized in my brain as a unique representation of this place. Despite anticipating the changes I knew were to come — a different dormitory, new commitments, and my transition from first- to secondyear — I was unprepared for that unique representation to be so challenged.

- No one is going to police you in college (except the police... try to stay on their good side). I had a lot of bright, ambitious friends get derailed by the simple fact that they could stop going to class and no one would care. Cultivate self-discipline.

Contributing to the shift in atmosphere this semester is the decline of COVID-19 protocols. While last year marked a return to in-person classes — thus offering a semblance of normalcy — it was obstructed from

The Known, Unfamiliar AReflection on the Return to Campus Perspectives

- Radically open yourself up to new people, ideas, and experiences. Be utterly, uncomfortably vulnerable to them. The next four years are about what you will learn and how you will change, not what you know and who you are now.

Practice this line in the mirror: “I can’t go out tonight, I have too much work to do.”

- A reading list is a suggestion. A starting point. If you start reading something and hate it, check out the cliff notes. If you read something and love it, tell your professor and ask them to recommend books that are similar or by the same author. You’re the one in charge of your life’s syllabus, fill it with things that interest you.

- Audit a class. Go to HIS 231: Medieval Warfare twice a week for the sheer joy of learning about battle axes and siege engines, and not just to get a graduation credit.

- Do the work you’re assigned and finish it on time. It will wreck you if you don’t.

First, a bit of philosophy. You already know that college is a “high value” experience; you’ve seen the price tag, and maybe you’ve calculated the number of years it will take to pay off all your loans. But the truth is, college is infinitely more valuable than the cost of admission, and even vastly more valuable than just the impact it will make in terms of future earnings. Forget about the post-graduation salary. The value of college is in developing your mind itself. It’s in the experiences, both within the walls of this institution and around the world, that broaden your horizons and show you new sides of yourself. It’s in the late-night conversations you will have (maybe in another language) about the ideas you first discovered here that are still influencing the rest of your life.

- Follow your passion and don’t bother with anyone who tells you otherwise.

life — be it an interpersonal relationship, a stint working a given job, or a period of struggle — as part of a whole rather than a whole in and of itself seems the most effectual way to get the best out of everything while defending against the worst. Furthermore, this framework will bring the most meaningful memories to the surface, above the cacophony of moments that comprise experience. Rather than lament the now-rare commonalities of last year as things lost, it is beneficial to identify the intangible elements that gave them meaning so as to find them again in the experiences to come this and future years. There lies the continuity which binds segments of life together, offering a canvas for reflection and envisagement.

- College is a time of radical growth. Don’t focus on intellectual growth so much that you overlook opportunities for physical, emotional, and spiritual growth.

Nothing that causes such diversity of thought and feeling as college can be represented by any lone notion. Even at a school as small as Davidson, many students can live vastly different lives, influenced by their constitution as individuals as well as their existence within the structures present here — both those that function with rigidity and those that develop organically, for better or worse. Administrative systems, social and affinity groups, and living circumstances, among other things, all bring forces to bear on students’ lives that can define them either positively or negatively. Cultural climate, student body composition, and other external factors (i.e. a pandemic) also significantly affect the ways in which students interact with their environment on campus, and how even year to year, those interactions may occur with an unforeseeable number of differences.

College enriches every day of the rest of your life. That is the mindset you need going into your first semester. Every day, whether you spend it on self-development and exploration or wasting time on the Internet, has already been paid for, but the benefits that you can derive from that day are limitless. Don’t settle for just getting your money’s worth when the sky is the limit on your return on investment. With that in mind, here are a few tips to help you maximize those benefits:

Such tests of my established perceptions range from minute to deeply impactful, with a surprising amount of overlap. Walks to class take a different route; new spots serve as those most frequented; the vernacular adopted by myself and those near me to refer to life on campus has shifted somewhat. The spectrum of these alterations is circular in that the little things are at times attached to the more profound. A commonality — either a physical place, a group of people, or a necessary habit — that last year was the setting of many a meaningful moment is, this year, a rarity. I know these spaces, but the way in which I move through them has changed unexpectedly and is still unfamiliar.

- Get to know your professors. They are some of the coolest people you will ever meet, and you are the reason they wake up in the morning. Go to office hours just to talk about stuff that excites you. The bond you form over that shared passion will last long after you graduate.

- Learn how to learn. If you can master the art of finding the right books, challenging your beliefs, and actually internalizing knowledge, you can have college-level learning anytime you have access to a library.

- Get involved. It’s not about what shows up on your resume or law school application. Find groups and activities in college that you truly care about and throw yourself into them with abandon.

DAVID SOWINSKI ‘25 (HE/THEY)

To conclude this stream of consciousness in which I have beaten the word “experience” to death, I would advise adopting a worldview that embraces change, and finds the opportunities for flourishment therein. Only then will one be equipped to contend with the inevitable trials of life so that they emerge empowered rather than depleted.

David Sowinski (he/they) is an intended history major from Chicago, IL. David can be reached for comment at dasowinski@ davidson.edu.

In the three years since I graduated from Davidson, I have had a fair amount of time to reflect on my college years. I did not leave college with any regrets, but there are a few hard-won lessons and truths I picked up along the way that I wish I had known from the beginning. This is the letter I wish I could have read before my first day of college.

Dear First-Year Students From the Archives: Originally Published September 7, 2016 In a reflection of a different sort, alumnus Spencer Wilson offers post-graduate wisdom and advice on how to mkae college as enrich ing as it can be.

complete normalcy by various preventative measures, duly implemented. That is not the case this year, as according to several professors and upperclassmen that I’ve heard from, the college has essentially returned to its pre-COVID state, with protocols being largely responsive. While the end of last semester saw a similar loosening of protocols, to start a school year without them carries more weight than having them lifted midway through the semester.

About passion. A major is not a passion. Your life goal cannot be to become an art history major or economics major and then see what happens. Do not expect to go through college, pass the classes you need to pass, and then suddenly be ushered into the life you want. The degree you obtain at the end of your four years here is a means, not an end. You need to develop actual life goals, identify the steps you need to take to reach them, and then put in the work to accomplish those goals. This is the hardest thing to learn how to do in college and no one can teach you but yourself. You don’t have to know what your passion is yet. Part of the reason you are here is to challenge your assumptions, discover new ideas, and find that one thing that turns your brain on fire. For some that thing is easy to find. Most have to actively seek it by turning over every stone and intentionally exploring different subjects and disciplines. Work as hard as you can to find it as soon as you can so that you have more time to learn about what you actually care about. Remember that your time here is limited, but the dividends from your education are not. You are the one in driver’s seat, and your college degree is exactly as valuable as you make it.

SPENCER WILSON ‘13

the true college experience but also dream big about what I could accomplish. When I came here, I wasn’t thinking about the NBA, I was thinking I’m coming here to have a great experience, stay in the moment, stay in the present and that’s how I try to live everyday since.”

August

Stephen Curry ‘22 and Former Men’s Basketball Head Coach Bob McKillop share a look during Curry’s speech. Photo Courtesy Tim Cowie, DavidsonPhotos.com

Sports 5

The graduation ceremony was beautiful. Both of Curry’s parents, Coach Bob McKillop, Presidents Hicks and Quillen, as well as AD Chris Clunie all spoke of him as a person and as a Davidson Wildcat. When Steph spoke, briefly and humbly,

he truly seemed like one of us. He seemed like a man who had eaten Commons meals, lived in the small rooms in Belk, and who used to roam around campus to get to his next class. His loyalty and gratitude to the school was touching. Mr. and Mrs. Curry made many remarks about how Davidson was not their first choice, how they did not want their son to go here, and how they thought he was better than Davidson. The palpable difference between Steph’s speech and his parents’ was that he remarked how he was at home, that he was in a place that accepted him, took a chance on him, allowed him to thrive and not have to pretend to be someone he is not.

31, 2022 marked a special day in the lives of many people in the Davidson community, but it was the most momentous for a special alumnus by the name of Wardell Stephen Curry II. After leaving Davidson following his junior year in 2009, Steph returned to McKillop Court this past August, not to shoot three pointers, but to walk across the stage and see his name cemented in our school’s legacy forever.

When the crowd erupted as Steph first stepped onto the floor, they weren’t cheering so emotionally for a man that only a handful knew personally, they were essentially cheering for themselves. Steph represents everything Davidson embodies. He embodies the values taught in the classroom, in our living spaces, in our athletic spaces. He embodies someone who walked the same halls in Chambers, who lived every day in the present, and just dreamt big – knowing his potential and betting on himself. That’s what Davidson brings to each of its students, and that’s why August 31 wasn’t just a special day for Steph and the Curry family, but it marked a special day in the lives of all in the Davidson community.

he first day of autumn is officially a week away, which means only one thing, fall sports are underway. Football is hitting the heat while tumbling on the turf, field hockey is accelerating on the AstroTurf, and cross country is tracking on the trails, but

In classic Davidson fashion, we went all out in our own way. McKillop Court was set up beautifully as a graduation stage, and it felt like every student either skipped class or convinced their professors to cancel class so they could stand in line to get tickets. Hundreds of Davidson employees moved like a well-oiled machine to run the back-end of the celebration. Cameras, reporters, important alumni, and so many more came to campus to witness one of the greatest basketball players of all time come home for a coronation. As students excitedly filed in, you could feel a sense of giddy excitement from each person in Baker Sports Complex. It felt like everyone was trying to keep a straight face, with some trying to act nonchalant and say, “I need this to be under an hour, I have office hours to get to.” But, after Dell Curry was seen waving to the crowd, you could tell it was only a matter of time before everyone was going to erupt. And that’s exactly whatFollowinghappened.the academic procession of President Hicks & President Quillen, along with many professors, there was a slight pause for about thirty seconds, where audibly everyone in the stadium held their breaths. Quickly, that pause was interrupted by the excited shriek from the students sitting in the section overlooking the tunnel entrance as they spotted our graduate first. Steph took three steps up onto the court, with everyone cheering vehemently and frantically pulling out their phones for a photo. This event’s energy felt different, it felt organic, almost as if every single person in that room – Davidson student or not – felt like they had a personal connection with the four-time NBA champion. It seemed like Curry felt that too. A man not unfamiliar with enormous crowds, this one seemed to touch him a little differently. He slowly walked towards the stage, visibly emotional and soaking it all in, high fiving lucky students and hugging old professors along the way.

The Women’s Soccer Team celebrates a goal during a 2-1 win at Presbyterian on August Photo Courtesy Tim Cowie, DavidsonPhotos.com

one cannot forget about Davidson College Women’s Soccer (DCWS) and their journey to excellence at Alumni Stadium. DCWS is off to a rather impressive start. So far, they have played seven games and captured six wins with one tie. Several of the team’s key players have high hopes that the team will continue to reign victorious.

at “managing classes [and] dealing with setbacks, individually and collectively” and therefore can extensively help the team adjust to life as a Davidson scholar athlete. Denton also mentions the potential of the freshmen class. He comments on how they “have seemed to adjust really well [in] transition to Division I athletics”. Braemer also continued the praise regarding the freshmen, commenting on their positive contributions thus far.

Denton, back for his sixth season as head coach, continues Caruso’s praise regarding the senior class. Denton states how the seniors know “the grind of being a Division I scholar athlete [and] the travel and the competitiveness that comes with the A10.” He adds that they are masters

Still, Caruso and Braemer recognize that this hard work must continue if they wish to find success in A10 play. Their first conference game is against Dayton, a historically tough and gritty opponent, as well as a top team in the conference. Braemer is confident though that if the team keeps “going at the rate we are, we should find success.” Even better, she notes how a successful A10 season is possible as long as the team stays engaged, keeps working, and remains positive. It seems that if a team is going to complete another A10 run, it is definitely this team. The current senior class has recorded two of Davidson’s best seasons in A10 play. With the help of the strong freshmen class and key returners such as Aleia GisolfiMcCready ‘25 and Riley Patton ‘24, this team truly could be unstoppable and wreak some serious havoc in the conference.

I had the opportunity to ask Steph a simple question: “Do you feel like Davidson represented who you are when you came in, and do you feel like you carried those values moving forward?”Hereplied,

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“The fact that this community allowed me to be myself, allowed me to embrace what I was passionate about, pushed me outside of my comfort zone at times and learned how to embrace that. [Davidson] allowed me to enjoy

this season of DCWS. Mary Grace “MG” Bunch ‘23, a fifth-year goalkeeper and 2020 Atlantic-10 All Conference First Team selection, is back to shake things up from the defensive end. She serves as captain alongside first-year captain Hailey Braemer ‘23, and second-year captains Sophia Caruso ‘23 and Keeley Copper ‘23. Braemer notes how “the four of [them] each have distinctive personalities, which makes for a very effective group.” Caruso goes a step further, commenting on each of them individually. She states how MG is the symbol of composure, Braemer serves as a role model in terms of hard work and an admirable work ethic, and Copper simply “holds the team together” through her role as the starting center back. Caruso also noted how important the senior class of twelve, Head Coach Adam Denton’s first full recruiting class, is as a whole. She states how all of them bring a lot of experience in terms of leadership, both on and off the field. All of them have had different experiences and therefore bring something unique to the program.

VARUN MAHESHWARI ‘23 (HE/HIM) SPORTS CO-EDITOR

There are a lot of exciting aspects to

ANNIE HIRSHMAN ‘24 (SHE/HER) SPORTS WRITER

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The Kid from Charlotte Comes Full Circle: Steph Curry Honored at Davidson

Grateful for the Grind: Women’s Soccer Finds Success Thus Far

Grade: 8.5/10

Grade: Recommendations:7.0/10

Soccer Mommy - Sometimes, Forever

adverse consequences. Frontman Sebastian Murphy’s wild, disturbing characters (“Troglodyte”) and pitch-black humor are immediate highlights. His absurdity perfectly suits the tirades about Flat Earthers, vaccine microchips, and baby harvesting, complementing the unbelievability of modern life. The band’s primal energy and ear for hooks holds it all together, though. The Boys also branch out with more dynamic songwriting like the hypnotic synth-wave of “The Cognitive Trade-Off Hypothesis.” However, uptempo post-punk is their bread and butter (making up over half the 40 minutes), and other attempts to move away from it fall short (“Big Boy”). The other issue is Cave World aims for pretty low-hanging fruit and will (hopefully) sound dated with time, and the Boys are talented enough to aim higher. If they did, though, they might have to be a bit more serious, and satire is just too fun.

Arts and Culture

The Chats - Get F****d

“The Price of Smokes”, “I’ve Been Drunk in Every Pub in Brisbane”, “6L GTR”

LUKE WATSON ‘24 (HE/HIM)

In the 6 years since Radiohead’s last LP, most members of Alt-Rock’s biggest active legends have worked on side projects. The Smile unites Thom Yorke, Jonny Greenwood, and longtime producer Nigel Godrich with drummer Tom Skinner. Radiohead’s sound dominates the record, and it retains both the strengths and weaknesses of the band’s most recent work. Yorke’s vocals, the compositions, and varied art-rock influences create an entrancing atmosphere. However, that hypnotic style can get a bit repetitive, and something feels absent. Perhaps it lacks the variety from Ed O’Brien’s multi-instrumental wizardry, or the brutal emotion that made Radiohead’s previous album A Moon Shaped Pool great. The album works best when it sounds raw, but it often sounds too subdued. Either way, it’s still well constructed (these guys are in Radiohead, after all). A little jolt would make it more compelling, though.

Recommendations: “Hellfire”, “Welcome to Hell”, “Eat Men Eat”, “The Defence”

Grade: Recommendations:8.3/10

black midi - Hellfire

Viagra Boys are not the first band to take on internet culture, and they won’t be the last. The difference is they relish in the inherent silliness of their dance-punk, unlike other “post-Brexit” reviva acts. Black Country, New Road reminiscing about a lover’s “Billie Eilish style” for the memes undercuts their moments of grandeur, but when Viagra Boys name a song “Return to Monke,” it enhances Cave World’s thesis that industrial society has some

If any album on this list feels made for summer, it’s Sometimes, Forever. There’s a somber yet nostalgic beauty throughout, which is nothing new for Sophie Turner’s songwriting. However, it’s never worked as well cover-tocover as it does here. Naming a single standout track is a tall task; single “Shotgun” will surely be a staple of Spotify’s “Essential Indie” mix with its infectious bass line and hook. As a testament to the album’s front-to-back depth, though, that track falls in the middle quality-wise. Opener “Bones” is a perfect introduction to the record’s warm guitars, melancholic lyrics, and bubbly synths in a fantastic build-up. Every other song here similarly serves its purpose well; each feels naturally sequenced. There’s enough stylistic variety to prevent tracks from blending together; the transition from “Darkness Forever’s” heavy outro to the gorgeous dream pop-influenced “Don’t Ask Me” is a prime example. “Still” is a meditative resolution to the strong closing stretch’s tension. Sometimes, Forever may not change your life or reinvent the genre, but it doesn’t need to to be great.

Grade: Recommendations:8.7/10 “Bones”, “With U”, “Don’t Ask Me”, “Feel It All the Time”, “Still”

Recommendations: “The Cognitive Trade-Off Hypothesis”, “Return to Monke”, “Punk Rock Loser”, “Troglodyte”

On the Eighth Day, God created the Fender Jazzmaster, and indie rock was never the same. There are few bands around that use it better than HJOL, consistently creating gorgeous soundscapes with shoegaze’s signature guitar (and plenty of pedals, of course). Combining shoegaze, slowcore, and emo, their self-titled debut shined with the heavy hitting bookends “Ugly Brunette” and “Orange Peeler.” They fall a bit short of that mark here, but show signs of evolution into something potentially greater. Spidery guitar parts, non-standard time signatures, and experimental structures abound. Lead single “Sitting on the Porch at Night” showcases how beautiful HJOL can get with its lush chorus and infectious rhythm. If their step back in songwriting here allows HJOL to musically evolve, the end result will be worth it.

The Australian punks’ second full-length release finds strength in its genre’s weakness. While the album sounds like plenty of punk releases, it revels in this familiarity. It’s a throwback to classic, gritty hardcore that never sounds like a mere imitation. Punk may be simple to play, but it challenges bands to find originality and authenticity in its bare-bones confines. The Chats nail those tests by combining genre hallmarks with their witty commentary on modern life. Working class anthem “The Price of Smokes” rants about inflation; “6L GTR” uses automobiles to satirize consumer culture. The band excels at being simultaneously introspective, raw, and anthemic. Get F****d is the sound of knowing you don’t need to break new ground: you only need to be true to your niche.

The Smile - A Light for Attracting Attention

August Is Falling - The Simple Plan (EP)

The spring season saw many of music’s premier acts drop new releases, with big hitters Mitski, Kendrick Lamar, Pusha T, and Beach House all providing new material. Howev er, this summer was also fruitful for new music, with several potential album of the year candidates released. With that in mind, here are the releases from the last few months I’ve been spinning the most.

August Is Falling’s sudden emergence is mysterious yet welcome. The Philly-based pop punkers’ streamlined sound will raise qualms about selling out, but the work of Butch Walker (producer for Fall Out Boy, Weezer, and others) does wonders. The band’s energy (and self-deprecating humor) shines in the anthemic hooks of “Mad This Summer” and the eponymous closing track. While their style feels a bit dated and derivative, The Simple Plan doesn’t take itself too seriously and is a fun first major release.

Summer Music Roundup

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“Mad This Summer”, “August Is Falling”, “Don’t Click the Link”

Grade: 6.8/10

Recommendations: “Sitting on the Porch at Night”, “I Poured Sugar in Your Shoes”, “DingDong Ditch”

Luke Watson ‘24 (he/him/his) is an Economics major from Gatlinburg, TN. He can be reached for comment at luwatson@davidson.edu.

Viagra Boys - Cave World

Hellfire is black midi’s attempt to resolve the primary issue with their first two releases: a lack of thematic cohesion. The record creates a flow rather than putting powerhouse tracks next to bloated, adventurous jam sessions in random order; tracks complement each other well. It also resolves the larger issue of Cavalvade’s muddied production and makes their foray into jazz fusion sound far crisper. However, the leaps in consistency sacrifice some individual highs; there are fewer show-stoppers like “Slow” or “Near DT, MI” on this record, though “Eat Men Eat” rivals them with its wildly structured storytelling. The songwriting elsewhere on the record is still strong, just not as individually powerful. Perhaps black midi will strike a balance between the two soon; they’re instrumental virtuosos capable of crafting a classic. They could be the world’s most entertaining live act by virtue of Morgan Simpson’s biblical drumming alone. I’ll be moshing harder to “John L” and “953” than anything from Hellfire, though.

Grade: 8.1/10

Grade: Recommendations:7.4/10

“You Will Never Work in Television Again”, “Skirting on the Surface”

Horse Jumper of Love - Natural Part

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Here is some advice and insight from upperclassmen that we hope you’ll find meaningful:

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“Davidson does not give you easy avenues to tap into that side of yourself, and you will have to get creative to make the spaces and communities that will nourish your queer ness, but let me tell you, it is so worth it. [...] There is literally no right way to be queer, and it is most certainly not determined by who you are involved with or how out you are, so what really matters is that you feel like you’re being honest and kind to yourself.” –Josie Hovis ‘23

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“My queer experience at Davidson has been made special thanks to upperclassmen and peers in my year who welcomed me with unapologetic love and effusive support.” – Ame lio Aragona ‘25

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Scoopie was a stain on the legacy of Vail Commons scoopies. Expecting to enjoy a spoonful that at least attempted the mouth feel and complex flavor profile of a perfect s’more, this critic was disappointed to find a vanilla pudding-esc base that was complete ly void of any s’more flavor incorporation. This was topped with a layer of milk choco late chips and on top of that, a layer of min iature marshmallows, served completely in the raw. The total absence of anything even remotely resembling a graham cracker left something to be desired. Not even a graham cracker crumble was provided as a topping.

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Davidson does have a number of LGBTQ+-designated spaces, including Queers & Allies (Q&A), YANASH, and the Lavender Lounge, as well as CDI events. Joining clubs can be in timidating for some, so if you have any questions or just want to chat, please please please reach out to us at anpatel@davidson.edu or dasowinski@davidson.edu.

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1Across Auto club letters Loafer or pump Start your computer again Aspen runner Breeze or gale 1998 British Open winner Mark See 24-Across Pater ___ (Lord’s Prayer) “Same!” Joseph Conrad’s “Lord ___” Trims back With 36-Across 55-Across, clue for 17-, 57-, and 64-Across Welcome forecast for Aspen “I’m ___” (“Nashville” song) Hearing things? Able to relax easily, e.g. Decline gradually Trip around the track See 24-Across Store in a cask, say Antioxidant berry Affect emotionally Badly worn, as tires “___ Rose” (tune from “The Music Man”) Mil.-brass aides: Abbr. See 24-Across See 24-Across “La la” lead-in Boned fish or meat Brighten See 24-Across Collard ___ “___ Tu” (1974 song) It locks and unlocks Sports contest venues “___ first ...” Current members of the Class of 2023

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In my attempt to extend an olive branch toward the dessert makers at Vail Commons (who almost always impress this critic), I do acknowledge that the whole concept of a s’mores flavored dessert is arguably the most elusive goal any dessert maker can shoot for. Embodying the complexity of those three ingredients in that specific ratio is extremely challenging in anything else but a s’more itself. Therefore, it’s my opin ion that the S’mores Scoopie should have never been attempted.

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There are a few features of life at David son which serve to make our community such a unique place: small class sizes, a stringent honor code as well as the culture of trust it creates, and of course: the Com mons scoopie, that which bonds us all to gether. Scoopies have taken many forms, with chocolate chip cookie, oreo and co conut being some of the favorites, but the subject of this review is definitely the most ambitious scoopie flavor I’ve seen in my ca reer as a critic here at Davidson: the S’mo resInScoopie.short,I was disappointed. The S’mores

Remnant of a campfire Letters on a rap sheet Ad hoc service from Ap ple Goes after, as flies Trumpeter Al 6 High, in old slang End of a Wildcat’s email address Harry Potter pal Weas Yellow smiley face with a halo, e.g. “I’m ___ myself with worry!” Quaker product Assayer’s material Ancient mariner Saw, as a movie Calif. hours “... by ___ other name ...” TV show with the theme song lyrics “Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’” Morales of movies Match up “Right to bear arms” oz. for or Miss Piggy readout, Bruin” or canter smoothly for arguers? partner of a Dutch disease ticks of the tongue club part sch. black celebrities’ maiden”

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In the future I will continue to enjoy all other scoopies put out at Commons, but should it appear again, I cannot recommend the S’mores Scoopie in good conscience.

Commons’ S’mores Scoopie: An Unachievable Goal

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(Kipling) 61 Couples org. 62 Miscalculate 63 Add-ons: Abbr. 64 “Agnus ___” 65 “ ___ the ramparts...” 66 George Pataki’s bailiwick (abbr.) 123 4567 8910111213 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 2223 24252627 2829 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 383940 41 424344 45 46474849 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 5960 6162 63 64 6566 67 68 69 70 71 72 DAVID (HE/THEY)SOWINSKI‘25 & ANAYA PATEL (ANY PRONOUNS) ‘25 Welcome to Davidson, freshies! We’re your friendly neighborhood queers, Anaya ‘25 (any pronouns) and David ‘25 (he/they), and this is the Queer Corner, a bi-weekly column that focus es on queer/trans news, pop culture, and events.

Crossword NEW CHIEF TRIVIA

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start out your time at Davidson, we want to introduce you to Davidson’s queer spaces. In all truthfulness, being queer is no easier here than many other places, but with the right

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7.ing.Following the words of Joni Mitchel, pave para dise and put up a parking lot right over the old ten nis courts and solve the parking problem yourself. Become a campus hero.

News of the change was met with immedi ate dismay from Davidson Students. In one of the most public examples, it caused Theo Paleo (he/him) (Vanilla and Reeces Cups) to cry. Publicly breaking down in first Libs, he

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“No one wants to work nights [shifts] any more; they’ve all been scared away,” laments Lucy Lou (She/Her) (Strawberry Cheesecake), a shift manager who is not using her middle name for anonymity’s sake. “It’s the Davidson students … they’re not human … they’re an imals,” she stated with bated breath and wild eyes through the drive-thru window. “I swear, after 11 p.m, something changes, and hordes of Davidson Students come over, playing their Remi Wolf and scaring staff with constant use of #DavidsonDifference and continuously try ing to pay with CatCard.” Additionally, some staff feel uncomfortable with the number of times Wildcats spontaneously yell “F” in a sentence, incorrectly believing they’re being cursedAccordingout. to Ms. Lou, Cookout corporate has repeatedly tried to address the high turn over rate, with free counseling sessions & chicken quesadillas at the end of every shift, to no avail. As a result, Cookout had no other course of action than to limit its hours to the industry standard, closing at 9 p.m.

Even when the col lege leaves you high and dry, do not fear, the Yowl is here to assuage any worries and help brain storm ways to get your car parked so you can stop circling campus like a white van with a “free candy” sign on it.

Living Davidson: How I Ended Up Driving Two Adult Men to Target to Buy Pillow PagecasesMen

Coughing Etiquette

Upperclassmen Ex plain Why They Aren’t Impressed by First Years’ Audacity

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

1. Sell your car on carvana. We all could afford to be driven happy.

4. Steps one of previous tips, but this time, first purchase yellow chalk and draw it on white lines and tell your neighbor they are parked in a staff parking lot. Then swipe their spot. Don’t forget to crack open your Nalgene and wash off the chalk.

Newly graduated alumni and 16th year senior Steph Curry has changed the way our most important national sport is played. You can see his contributions on the largest stage when the chips are down during championship time. On primetime in national TV on ABC this summer, we were able to see the greatest player in the greatest game in the world. It’s good to see Davidson finally recog nize him for all the contributions he’s made to the game of Mini-Golf.

the game created and produced by Curry. The highlights include the ominously ti tled “The Distractor”, which forces people to sink a putt with a wall of distraction in their face, which has ranged from Kenny G dernanding people from one foot away midswing, shooting in front of an entire college drumline, or being forced to putt in front of an actual live bear. He created a French themed hole in which contestants have to race to lower a guillotine to stop their ball from falling off the course. There’s a giant human pinball machine that contestants have to slide through in order to continue playing in this single elimination competi tion. This show is so bonkers week in and

8. Sell your car for the price of 100 bikes. Sell those bikes with the pitch that parking them is so easy! Buy back your car with the money from sell ing 100 bikes. Park in the spots that were cleared when you got more peo ple to bike. That’s called stock buybacks baby!

to park in staff only park

WRITERS

If you are a first year man on the top floor of the library coughing incessantly and sniffling and picking your nose while scrolling through Instagram, we humbly offer ourselves (this sheet of newsprint) to be used as a tissue and even a makeshift mask. Stay safe out there.

week out that clearly our beloved alumnus has only put all his time and attention into changing the game and raising the national profile of this beloved sport. Some schools are thought of as football schools, some are basketball schools. Clearly, here at David son we always have been (and always will be) first and foremost a mini-golf school.

Season Four of Holey Moley even had the Muppets come in to work with Curry all season! The two most influential celeb rities alive, the man responsible for creating a Rob Riggle voiced minigolf playing robot and Kermit the Frog, met for the greatest crossover event in history. While he was un

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Third Chair at Com mons High Tables Is Just for Show

Page Superiority Complex

September 14, 2022

wildly popular southern fast food chain Cookout has released a statement chang ing the hours for the Cornelius location. The restaurant will now shutter its drive-thru win dows at 9 p.m. instead of the usual 2 a.m offered at other locations. The Official Cookout press release, RShakesVP, cited staffing issues relating to the pandemic behind the recent change. The service industry as a whole has been hit badly, and many restaurants are experiencing similar issues and operating at reduced hours. However, after an intensive and exhaustive investigation by the Yowl Staff, it has been revealed that the RShakesVP and Cookout Corporate wasn’t tell ing the whole story…

2. Park in the near est Charlotte Pub lic Library branch and Uber back to 3.Davidson.Knock on your room neighbors door and say “Oh my God what does your car look like?

Yeah some local middle schoolers were threaten ing to slash your tires you should maybe move your car.” Swipe their spot when they move their car.

Student Reaction to Cookout Change

Alden Brown Prince Emma.Eric

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth.

We hope that with these handy how-tos, you’ll be on your way to a creative and stress-free solution to the parking problem opportunity on campus!

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6. Go to graduate school, get a PhD, beat out thou sands of other hopeful and naive academics and receive a tenure track po sition at Davidson College

Several students decided inaction is un acceptable and are rallying with Sophomore Olive Northern (she/they) (Oreo!) as the de facto head of the resistance. You can find her in Hance, on the top floor of chambers, which has been turned into an impromptu and bus tling war room. While composing an email to United States Rep. Alma Adams (she/her) (unknown), she barked: “Sign the petition! We must do all we can to combat this unjust decision.” The first of many protests has al ready been scheduled for Friday the 16th of September at 8 p.m in the Cookout parking lot. Participation is mandatory. Participants are encouraged to come. Volunteer Hours will not be offered (but still come Bonner Scholars).

repeatedly screamed “why?” until someone comforted him with Cookout’s signature Ca jun Fries. Between bites and still in recovery, he explained, “I ate Cookout more than com mons last semester. It really got me through those 1 a.m mid-term study seshes; I don’t know what I’m going to do.” This sentiment has been echoed by many other students. The entire campus is in mourning. “Cookout was special,” stated one senior. Part of its remark ability, according to Freshman Dylan Sire (he/ him) (Strawberry “bc it’s a fruit”) was Cook out’s apparent health benefits: “Cookout was really the only healthy spot near campus and was going to be instrumental in my upcoming diet. The loss of gains is incalculable. Good thing suns out guns out has ended.”

Parking Tips and Tricks

World famous for his exploits in the sport, Steph Curry’s contributions to Holey Moley are undeniable. The largest stage for our nationally beloved pastime, Holey Moley is an almost unbelievable tour de force of

Irreverent student journalism since 2004. Castigat Ridendo Mores.

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The

Davidson Honors Sports Icon Steph Curry

5. Hide all of the men’s basketballs so they can never have a game and therefore can never kick you out of the 11 spots facing the tennis court.

fortunately kidnapped in order to force the studio keep the show alive as part of a plot orchestrated by the most devious Muppet, Pepe the King Prawn, he even sacrificed his time to keep the most culturally impactful event still on TV. It even turned out he was in on the scheme, orchestrating his kidnap ping to force ABC to keep making more larger than life sized minigolf. He’s that committed to improving the world through any means necessary! It’s great to finally see Davidson regonzie that after all these years off in the world, the Holey Moley guy is finally getting his due and the respect this minigolf pioneer deserves.

The Parking Issue inside

Career Center Launch es New Event Just for Humanities and Inter disciplinary Majors: “So, You’re Unemployable”

Page Third Wheeling

“I look like I would go to a beer garden.” (derogatory)Lesbianwearing a backwards hat

In the meantime, others have looked towards other late-night options. Several probes have been launched by upperclassmen to other local establishments to find a suitable replacement. However, according to Senior Lydia Wander lust (she/her) (Chocolate, Peanut Butter, and Banana), “none of them compare,” leaving Davidson Students wishfully hoping for a re turn of the late-night Cookout Trips and the memories that come with.

As many of us know, Davidson College has seriously cut back on parking as part of the Biden administration’s climate crisis initiative known as GAINC, or Go After Individuals Not Cor porations. Unfortunately, instead of cutting back on the number of cars on cam pus, it has created some what of a musical chairs, where someone is left standing awkwardly when the music stops.

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