4/3/2019

The

Davidsonian

Independent Student Journalism Since 1914

inside

davidsonian.com

Asian-American Initiative makes the case for Asian-American Studies at Davidson

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Volume 114, Issue 19

April 3, 2019

Taylor Drake ‘21 extolls the importance of queer spaces at Davidson

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Richard Farrell ‘22 debuts first ever Davidsonian caption contest

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The Yowl convenes with local deities over erratic weather patterns

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Gentrification’s Impact on Town of Davidson

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The lawn adjacent to Vail Commons’s patio now hosts individual plots belonging to each of Davidson’s four NPHC organizations. Photographs by Olivia Forrester ‘22.

NPHC Plots Come to Campus

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HARRIS ROGERS ‘21 STAFF WRITER

ny Commons-going Davidson student is likely to have noticed the construction taking place near the patio behind the dining hall this semester. Since the beginning of the semester, four individual plots have begun to take shape.

Each is adorned with a small monument and sports the letters and colors of Davidson’s four National Pan-Hellenic Council organizations: The Tau Omicron chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc.; the Sigma Psi chapter of the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.; the Pi Mu chapter of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc.; and the Upsilon Mu chapter of the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. Each of the plots is meant to serve as a respected, exclusive space for the members of these organizations, and are only accessible their respective members of the NPHC organizations at Davidson.

The process of bringing these plots to campus was a long one, only made possible by the concerted efforts of student leaders within the NPHC community. Jalen Madden ’19, a member of Alpha Phi Alpha, served a key role. In the spring of 2018, Madden took the leading role in establishing an NPHC

plot committee in order to “help with the design, location, size, and implementation” of the individual plots. This plot committee also included other members of the NPHC organizations, including Ky Roland ‘19, Tatiana Pless ‘19, Alex Dawes ‘19, and Jared Lindo ‘21. While this official committee has only been in existence since the spring of 2018, the idea has been discussed and attempted in past years. It was only with an organized effort by members of each NPHC organization that the idea was able to become a reality.

The plots serve not only as physical manifestations of Davidson’s four NPHC organizations but “visual representations of one of the cultural traditions that manifest within each organization,” according to Madden. The plots are not unique to Davidson, but are present on other campuses and universities, including Appalachian State and Wake Forest within North Carolina. Some universities, such as the University of North Carolina, have commemorative gardens for NPHC organizations on campus, in lieu of plots.

BEN PATE ‘22 STAFF WRITER

t can be easy to think that the Town of Davidson is safely nestled away in its own bubble, free from many of the problems of the outside world. However, certain broader patterns will inevitably arrive in every community. Recently, gentrification has become a hot topic in the town of Davidson, with increasing property values bringing deeper-set problems.

Dr. Shelley Rigger, who recently wrote about her experience with gentrification in Davidson, defines gentrification as “upgrading the physical quality, the infrastructure of a place, through displacement” of people who lived there. While this phenomenon is happening in cities across the United States, to understand gentrification in Davidson, it is important to first understand the historical background of the town and its first neighborhoods.

Dr. Rigger draws Davidson into four distinct areas that originated when the town was centrally a mill town; the present location of Brick House Tavern and the Hurt Hub were each cotton mills at the town’s conception. First, Davidson College sits in one corner of town; north of Griffith Street and west of the railroad is the historically white working class neighborhood; west of the railroad and south of Griffith Street is the historically African-American working class neighborhood; and west of the tracks but south of Concord Road are the historically white-collar neighborhoods.

Each of these neighborhoods experiences gentrification in its own way, but ultimately, prices in each area are only rising: for the latest available quarter, home values in Davidson increased nearly five percent, equivalent to more than a 20 percent valuation increase in one year. While this value increase is a bit of an outlier, overall, appreciation rates in Davidson are some of the highest in the country at nearly eight percent per year.

In each neighborhood, teardowns seem to be constant. A teardown, according to Dr. Rigger, is when a developer tears down an older, often smaller, house in order to build either one very large house or multiple smaller houses on the same piece of property. However, since the majority of Davidson has already been developed, this process has to happen on a house-by-house basis.

Teardowns affect communities in many ways. Dr. Fred Smith, a specialist in urban economics, notes the increased property values that come with teardowns and their effects on businesses: “gentrification opens up opportunities for new businesses to cater to new clientele. The difficulty is that those are not always the same people [who lived there before].”

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Sexual Wellness Vending Machine To Offer Discount Plan-B

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ARIANA HOWARD ‘20 STAFF WRITER

ext week, Planned Parenthood Generation Action (PPGA) will reveal the Sexual Wellness Vending Machine in the 900 Room in Union. The vending machine includes pregnancy tests, pads, tampons, ibuprofen, and discounted Plan B. It will be located outside the Union gym— a discreet yet accessible location. .

Although the primary focus of the project is to provide affordable and accessible Plan B (created by Davidson alumnus Dr. Trussel ‘71) , the machine also responds to the high demand for accessible wellness products on campus ever since the Union Station closed last year.

Grace Colley ‘21, one of the project managers for the Sexual Wellness Vending Machine, explains that the main goal of the project is “to provide better access to emergency contraceptive by making Plan B cheaper [and] available for purchase to all genders.” Currently, Plan B costs $50 at CVS and $25 at the Health Center.

The vending machine will offer this product for only $16.

The machine is cash-only for now, but PPGA is “hoping to have credit card capabilities next semester,” Colley explains. Ultimately, PPGA hopes to break as many barriers between students and their health as possible.

Georgia Ringle, Davidson’s first official Health Educator, expressed that one of the best aspects of the machine is that “you can go in

the middle of the night.” “This is great,” she explains, “because the sooner, the better.” According to WebMD, Plan B is 95% effective within 24 hours of unprotected sex and 89% effect within 72 hours. After 72 hours, the effectiveness greatly decreases.

in New Orleans, where HIV and AIDS were a major issue. Due to this exposure, Ringle discovered the importance of “being able to talk about sexuality and all the different kinds of sex people have.” For this reason, one of Ringle’s primary hopes for the machine is that

“I think the machine will help start some conversations or fuel the conversations happening right now on campus about reproductive health.”

Morgan McGrath ‘17 Ringle has worked at Davidson College since the late 80s. Before Davidson, she lived

it will help sexual wellness become less of a

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News

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Historic Plots Represent Unity, Space, Tradition CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 The plots have “a deep-seeded history at HBCUs”, according to Roland, the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority representative on the plot committee.

According to Patterson Court Council Advisor Erica Urban, “Davidson is one of the few schools with a predominantly white campus to have NPHC plots.”

These plots serve both a symbolic and a practical purpose. Symbolically, the plots represent the division of land that occurred in the South during the aftermath of the Civil War, which involved dividing land that had previously been owned by Confederates into plots to be farmed by recently freed slaves, a policy

that was known as “40 acres and a mule.” This system was ultimately abandoned, and Southern African-Americans suffered severe economic hardship as a result, according to Henry Louis Gates Jr. in his article, “The Truth Behind 40 Acres and a Mule”.

The plots are also meant to draw attention to the lack of physical structures currently allotted to Davidson’s NPHC organizations, while IFC organizations can enjoy a space in which to gather and socialize. While these plots do provide a means of representation for the physical presence of these organizations on campus, Madden and other NPHC members want to make it clear that these plots are not adequate to correct this inequity within Davidson Greek Life.

The NPHC organizations, which are lauded on the local, state, and national level as exceptional branches, still lack a physical space in which to convene and engage with other members on campus. For Madden and the NPHC community, the ultimate goal is to acquire these physical spaces. Madden explained, “I hope that the presence of the plots can be a catalyst to creating more physical representations of our different organizations.

I hope to come back for my Davidson reunion and see the NPHC community having their own houses.”

Currently, members have no official space in which to hold meetings, plan events, conduct fraternity or sorority business, or destress from life at Davidson. According to

Daric McKinney ‘19, the NPHC ambassador for Patterson Court Council, lacking a physical space also harms the representation of NPHC students and organizations at Davidson. “It is disheartening to constantly have to prove we exist when a lot of the leadership at Davidson comes from the NPHC community,” he explained. McKinney continued, saying that “as none of the NPHC organizations have houses, oftentimes, our existence at Davidson is erased.” According to Roland, the lack of a house also poses a logistical problem. “We have to store all of the items we own in a 40 cubic food locker, when other house organizations have thousands of square feet for storage and housing items,” she explained.

Push for Asian-American Studies On Campus

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KAIZAD IRANI ‘22 STAFF WRITER

ollowing the doxxing of two Davidson students over alleged neo-Nazi Tweets last fall, many students felt the need to create more educational opportunities on and for minority groups on campus. Along with the push for a Jewish Studies department, a new group of students are working on expanding Davidson’s curriculum to be more inclusive and diverse.

The Asian-American Initiative (AAI) is a student-led group advocating for an Asian-American Studies department and creating a space for Asian-American students at Davidson. Founded by Cathy Xu ‘21 last semester, the organization consists of nine committees, ranging from a focus on discussion series to the logistical planning of creating the new department.

“After the events last semester, many Asian students felt impacted, but at the same time, found a lack of Asian student participation and representation at the following student rally.

The absence of Asians caused confusion about the role we have in our community and our relationships with our peers,” said Xu. “I decided to hold a meeting for all Asian students interested, so that we could finally begin to get to know each other and discuss how the event impacted us. From it, the AAI formed and now consists of a core group of organizers who have become the Asian family I never had on campus.”

Currently, the group is focused on bringing in tenure track faculty to Davidson who

are qualified in teaching Asian-American studies. As of now, the college only has one Asian-American specialist, Dr. Yurika Tamura, a visiting professor for the Humanities and Gender & Sexuality Studies departments.

“We want to build an interdisciplinary department, similar to ones like Africana Studies, and are currently focused on bringing a critical mass of professors from a multitude of disciplines whose work centers on Asian-Americans,” shared co-organizer Sanzari Aranyak ‘22. “We hope that through bringing professors to campus and working to get them hired as tenure-track faculty, we will be able to build the department.”

Additionally, the AAI has been working on bringing more lectures to campus that can talk about some of the values that the club has. On March 26th, they hosted their first spring lecture titled, “Why Asian-American Studies?”

The talk was given by Dr. Khyati Y. Joshi, a Professor of Education at Fairleigh Dickinson University.

Dr. Joshi’s talk focused on the importance and practicality of an Asian-American curriculum at the college level. According to Dr. Joshi, despite the Asian population being the fastest-growing minority group in the United States, less than 10% of American colleges and universities offer a stand alone Asian-American Studies program.

“We are not asking for Asian-American related courses because we already know all of the information and want to educate others.

We do not know these histories, and we believe that this is a significant gap that exists

across all demographics of students who have gone through the American education system,” expressed Raven Hudson ‘21, another co-organizer of the initiative.

Furthermore, at her lecture, Dr. Joshi covered the importance of creating a student life that includes Asian-Americans — a sentiment also felt by members of the AAI.

pete or dismiss any of the existing departments on campus that deal with minority groups and subjects. Rather, they hope to work together to expand and modernize Davidson academics.

“We are not blaming Africana or Latin American Studies for being established already. We are not saying that it should be Asian-American Studies instead of Jewish

“We are not asking for Asian-American related courses because we already know all of the information and want to educate others.

We do not know these histories, and we believe that this is a significant gap that exists across all demographics of students who have gonethrough the American education system.”

Raven Hudson ‘21 “The Asian American population on this campus has little community support. As someone who falls into intersections of multiple identity groups, I have had a hard time finding my people and space on campus,” said Aranyak. “We need a space for Asian-American students that caters to our scholarship and community.”

The AAI plans on having three more lectures and a group discussion before the semester ends. Some of the topics they plan to discuss are the Asian population in Australia, queerness in Asian-American communities, and Afro-Asian relations.

Additionally, the AAI does not want to com-

Studies that get the next hire. We are not saying that East Asian and South Asian Studies are not doing important work as well,” said Hudson. “By all of us making demands, we are telling Davidson that we want a curriculum that is more diverse, well-rounded, and representative of everyone at the college. Our voices are stronger together when we amplify each other.”

The AAI meets weekly and will continue to host open events throughout the rest of the semester. Contact them at davidsonaai@gmail. com or follow them on Instagram or Twitter @DavidsonAAI.

PPGA Brings Plan B, Pregnancy Tests to Vending Machine CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 taboo topic on Davidson’s campus. She explains, “I think it will destigmatize the use of these products with it being in a machine. [It] might make people more willing to talk to someone.”

In the 1980s, Ringle had the same perspective on why making condoms accessible on campus, especially at night, was so crucial. She helped get medicine cabinets installed in campus bathrooms in order to put the condoms in a more discreet location. “That was a crowning achievement. I think it would be a good idea along with the condoms to put Plan B on the hall.

Some day. The wellness vending machine is a good start,” says Ms. Ringle.

“I think it would be a good idea along with the condoms to put Plan B on the hall... The wellness vending machine is a good start.”

Georgia Ringle Additionally, information will be posted next to the vending machine about emergency contraception, particularly targeting those who are taking it because they were assaulted or for those who now might want to talk to someone about a longer-term birth control plan. Morgan McGrath ‘17, a Health Education

Fellow at Davidson, also explains that there may even be information clarifying misconceptions about Plan B. McGrath stated, “I think the machine will help start some conversations or fuel the conversations happening right now on campus about reproductive health.”

Both McGrath and Ringle agree that this topic is one that Davidson students are interested in right now. “The fact that this is happening in one academic year is amazing work. I’m so impressed with the students. I think it speaks to just how dedicated the students are to promoting health and wellness and making it as accessible as possible,” said McGrath.

This passion can also be seen in SGA’s work to get menstrual products installed in campus bathrooms. Caroline Roddey ’20, an SGA senator, co-led the Menstrual Product Initiative in order to achieve this goal. Due to their initiative, “all of the dispensers in academic buildings and the Union provide free [sanitary products] dispensers,” explains Roddey. Roddey hopes that these “small changes will bring more accessibility to campus.”

While the focus is on feminine products, Roddey recognizes that transgender and non-binary students also use these items, such as menstrual hygiene products and emergency contraceptive. “These initiatives will reach beyond just female students,” she asserts. In fact, another major element of the vending machines is that people of all genders have access to it, unlike at the Health Center.

Ringle summed up, “It’s like these little seeds are planted to create change. What I love about Davidson is that it is a very fertile ground. If you plant the seeds, they will grow here.”

The Sexual Wellness Vending Machine will debut in front of the Union gym next week. Photo courtesy of Planned Parenthood Generation Action.

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April 3, 2019

Rising House Prices Lead to Teardowns CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 While new houses are being built in place of smaller ones, not only can some people not afford the new houses but they also become unable to afford their own homes due to rising property values and taxes. Dr. Smith describes the effects of gentrification on longterm residents, for whom owning their home “can get difficult … they bought at a much lower price, and as a community reassesses property values over time, that means the property tax bill will start to rise dramatically.” This is largely because as property values have skyrocketed, the average annual pay in Mecklenburg County only increased around three percent in 2017. Simply, pay is falling far behind increasing home prices and property taxes.

Ultimately, this property tax increase often forces residents out of their homes, which are then torn down to allow for newer, more expensive houses to be built. This process “cuts the middle out of the market,” according to Dr. Rigger. By slowly removing relatively affordable housing in Davidson, it becomes more difficult for less affluent families to move into town, which creates a never-ending cycle of increasing property values. In April of 2012, the median home value in Davidson was $262,000, but by 2019, it climbed to $409,000. Accompanying this dramatic price hike is a demographic shift in the town, rising from 79 percent white in 2013 to just over 90 percent in 2018. In the same time frame, the African-American population in Davidson

dropped from 11 percent to merely five and a half.

Dr. Smith describes the way to slow increasing prices, saying, “you have to increase the supply; you have to build at a higher density, build more apartments, as well as more condominiums and townhouses.”

In an effort to preserve some affordable housing, the Davidson Housing Coalition has done just that.

The Housing Coalition built its bungalows, which are relatively inexpensive, multi-family apartments that match the architectural style of the rest of the town, in 2000 on the west side of Davidson in an effort to preserve some affordable housing.

Noticing this trend in her own neighborhood, Dr. Rigger proposes a new strategy to combat gentrification in Davidson: instead of tearing down homes to replace them with more expensive ones, Dr. Rigger feels that there should be “some attempt to replace some of those structures with something that would serve a community purpose: affordable housing.”

Google Street View provides an interesting look into the trend of gentrification. Pick a street in Davidson and go to Street View, then select the same location in an earlier year; the differences are very noticeable.

More money flowing into Davidson will likely change many facets of life for Davidson residents, with housing as the driving force behind price increases that keep Davidson well above the national average cost Top: A view of Catawba Ave, Davidson, North Carolina in September, 2012. Bottom: The same address in April, 2017. Images courtesy of Google Earth. of living.

Crime Log Time Reported

MARCH 28

Attendance

Takeaways

Agenda

LIZZIE KANE ‘22 SGA CORRESPONDENT

1.Guest Speaker: Jared Misner 2.Write-Up Policy Revisions 3.Budget 4.Town Relations Jared Misner, Davidson’s new social media manager, came to talk about his position and to ask for feedback.

Patterson Court Council organization members will now be volunteering to pass out the PB&Js at Armfield. Due to allergies, SGA will be changing the type of sandwiches given out.

A proposal to revise the write-up policy was constructed; the proposal will be reviewed by the administration on April 2nd.

SGA is asking for a 7 percent increase in their budget to include the costs of airport shuttles and PB&Js. A day of the Safe Ride program will potentially be given up in order to support the fund for airport shuttles.

President Emmitt Sklar ’21 and Vice President Gina Martinez ’20 are meeting with Mayor of Davidson Rusty Knox to discuss the stopping of a student of color by town police. SGA revised their bylaws.

The meeting ended 10 minutes early.

96%

or

27 28

Excused Absence: Bess Li ‘19 Tardee: Nick Nyugen ‘22 (excused), Andrew Coyner ‘19 (execused), Robi Roberts ‘20 (unexcused)

Description/Location

3/18/19 at 2030 hrs

Poss. of Alcohol Underage

3/19/19 at 2015 hrs

Poss. of Alcohol Underage

3/19/19 at 2015 hrs

Poss. of Alcohol Underage

3/24/19 at 2207 hrs

Injury to Real Property

Sentelle, Dean Referral

Chidsey, Dean Referral

Chidsey, Dean Referral

Fiji, Inactive

3/24/19 at 2259 hrs

Larceny Felony Attempted

3/28/19 at 0030 hrs

Underage Consumption

3/29/19 at 0145 hrs

Poss. of Alcohol Underage

Jamieson, Inactive

Richardson, Dean Referral

Belk, Dean Referral

3/30/19 at 0354 hrs

Underage Consumption Sentelle, Dean Referral

Correction: Last week’s article “Duke Endowment’s $24 Million Donation Creates Scholarships,” written by Betsy Sugar ‘21, was mistakenly attributed to Emma Brentjens ‘21.

Perspectives

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Raven Hudson ’21

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he housing lottery process has been going on for the past few weeks, as signalled by many a frantic Facebook post by rising seniors looking for a fourth apartment mate. There’s a quality to the procedure that’s kind of like house shopping.

Maybe that dorm is too much of a commute to Chambers, or that one has hardwood floors instead of carpet. For the most part, though, a student’s choice of dorm is ultimately inconsequential to their ability to go about their daily routine. Every room has a bed, and every dorm has a bathroom and a shower.

For some students, however, it’s not that simple.

After spring break, students were notified that Gender Inclusive (GI) Housing would not be offered for the 2019-2020 school year due

A poster in union advocates for a return to single -gender dorms. Photo by Amaya Bradford ‘22

Gender Inclusive Housing Should Always Be Offered to the lack of applications.

Gender Inclusive Housing, formerly known as Open Housing, is one of the “themed” options, which also includes the Sustainability Co-Op and Substance-Free housing.

As described by Jason Shaffer, Director of Residence Life, Gender Inclusive Housing is unique because it is a space “where students live together regardless of gender identity, and community bathrooms are not gender-designated.” This housing option aims to accommodate transgender and gender non-conforming students (TGNC) so that they are not forced to use a bathroom that does not correlate with their gender identity.

What happens, then, when this option is taken away?

In writing this, I must acknowledge that I don’t identify as genderqueer in any way, but I do currently live in Open Housing in Duke; I hope to convey the thoughts of students like my roommate and hallmates, who I consulted during this process.

When my roommate heard that the Residence Life Office (RLO) was moving Gender Inclusive Housing to Akers next year—before it got cancelled—they expressed frustration in RLO’s decision to relegate queer students to the edge of campus. Although Akers is not as far from the center of campus as, say, Martin Court B, it is one of the farthest of the non-senior-apartment buildings. If one considers the politics of geography, this decision is not coincidental; the relegation of difference to the margins is a repeated phenomenon.

Another student, Ellie Barlow ’19, argued that the amount of interest should not determine whether the option is offered. In other words, if any students opt for Gender Inclusive Housing, they should be guaranteed that option, given the very real implications that housing holds for trans and non-binary students.

As it is now, GI Housing is located on the third floor of Duke, where half of the hall is suite-style and the other has double rooms.

That means that RLO only has to fill half of a hall to enable GI Housing, since those with suite-style rooms have their own bathrooms and don’t need to use the community one. Another consequence of the decision to move GI Housing to Akers is that, without a half-andhalf setup, even more students who are willing to use an all-gender bathroom had to apply for it to be renewed. Moreover, since GI Housing is unavailable to first-year students, the pool of potential applicants is already limited.

But this issue is not just about “interest,” it is about the right of students to feel safe in their own dorms. To ask a TGNC student to choose between living on a hall with gendered bathrooms is, in fact, a form of violence in that, aside from the risk of physical violence, it enacts emotional and psychological harm.

Even if these students are able to live on a hall that matches their gender expression, trans students could face potential harassment in using a gendered bathroom. Meanwhile, non-binary students would be forced to choose one or the other. Imagine if you were forced to choose between two options, where neither fully described you, and to choose one would be to stuff yourself into a box you don’t fit in.

In GI Housing, students don’t have to be anxious about going to the “wrong” bathroom because it is established that everyone, no matter their gender identity, will be using the same one anyway.

Some people, however, assert that co-ed facilities endanger students. Recently, small signs were posted around the student Union, reading: “Separating male and female students in single-gender dorms will 1) Restore modesty 2) Enhance campus security” As evidenced by such posters, some students feel that mixed-gender dorms are a threat to student decency and safety.

Concerning their first point, I’m not sure whose modesty they want to restore, but historically this term refers to women. I didn’t realize we were in the 1960s; American colleges

started implementing co-ed halls in the 1970s, and that seems to be going pretty well still.

In any case, at the root of this argument is a logic of slut-shaming that values the opinions of men and the male gaze more than it does women’s own bodily autonomy.

Whose safety are we trying to protect here?

If we’re talking about the surveillance of bodies, those of TGNC folks are always being monitored, especially when it comes to bathrooms. Being surveilled doesn’t make one feel safe; it makes you feel attacked.

Their second point seems to be one that pertains to sexual harassment and assault. I wholeheartedly believe that sexual assault is a major problem on college campuses, but I don’t see how co-ed dorms enable or enhance this issue. For one—given Davidson’s current policy—male students would still have access to all dorms whether they lived there or not.

Additionally, the site of sexual assault has never been restricted to residence halls.

Finally, along with this assertion about security goes the argument that all-gender bathrooms are inherently more “dangerous” spaces because men will invariably attack the women they share the space with. Not only does this assumption put little faith in men, but it consequently excuses sexual assault as an inevitability, shifting the responsibility from perpetrators on to women who must “avoid getting raped.”

By not offering Gender Inclusive Housing next year, the school is telling its trans and non-binary students that their ability to simply feel comfortable in their own dorm and bathroom is unimportant. And to the students who say that co-ed bathrooms are dangerous, I would ask: Who are you making uncomfortable or unsafe when you insist on single-gender facilities?

Raven Hudson ’21, Perspectives co-editor, is an English and Gender and Sexuality Studies double major from Augusta, Georgia. Contact her at rahudson@davidson.edu.

Taylor Drake ’21

How to Acknowledge Davidson’s Queer History

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here were a multitude of audience reactions to the drag show hosted by Union Board and Queers & Allies (Q&A) two weeks ago. Exuberant hoots, hollers, and “YASSSSS HONNEYYY”’s as the Queens and Kings graced the runway in the 900 Room; collective jaws dropped as the performers cartwheeled, did splits, and death-dropped; confused looks when the emcee’s improvised transitions did not quite land as intended; and, most memorably, a teary-eyed standing ovation for local Charlotte Queen Lolita Van Dank’s show-stopping performance about body positivity and self-acceptance to “This is Me.” My mother’s reaction: “Oh gosh.” I felt proud of my first time “lip-synching for my life,” so I sent her a video of my performance. This two-word, seemingly-ambivalent phrase has become a classic expression of hers in response to crazy stories I tell her from college—whether they’re related to my queer identity or not. I thought this story had left her speechless until she texted again later, querying, “I’m trying to be supportive but not sure if I understand the point of it? Was it just to have fun? Be expressive? Was it a fundraiser? Just curious. Love you.”

Her questions perplexed me. Why did we have the drag show? What was the point? Did I almost fall to my death from the 900 Room banister to Rihanna’s “S&M” for nothing?

As my eyeliner wore off, and I thought about the night more, I realized the importance of my mother’s questions. Davidson’s queer community should reflect more frequently on the purpose and intentions of the events we put on.

I believe that the queer community lacks an understanding of our history to contextualize the importance of these events.

This isolation from our past prevents queer organizations from fully seeing and carrying out the intentions of these events: creating an active and welcoming space for queer students, whether they are in or out of the closet.

I came into Davidson as a closeted first-year student. As a questioning student, and even once I came out, I struggled to

find spaces and events where I belonged and felt comfortable among our queer community. Now, as a sophomore, I emcee drag shows and serve as a Co-President of the queer community organization YANASH (You Are Not A Stranger Here).

My time here has become divided since my experience of coming out, but there is no clear distinction in my memory of when I turned from “straight” to Sandra Bullcock (my drag alter-ego). My evolution and growth as a queer person has been caught up in the dizzying nature of Davidson: classes, deadlines, meals, meetings, events, parties, (some) sleep, repeat. It is difficult for me to understand my personal history as a queer student, much less our community’s history.

A lot of queer students, no matter where they are on their personal journey of growth and acceptance, have a similar experience when navigating the queer community here. Administrative bodies like the Center for Diversity and Inclusion and queer organizations such as Q&A, YANASH, and the Queer Mentorship Program function to support the current queer and questioning students that make up our community. We frankly don’t have the time to reflect fully on our history when we are focused on addressing needs of the queer community and creating community in the present (or checking Davidson College’s Instagram for their tokenization of trans students).

The queer community honors its annual traditions, such as the Coming Out Monologues this Wednesday (4/3), but I do not believe we fully acknowledge the culture in which these traditions were born.

The same goes for the origins of our organizations. The first thing I wanted to do as new co-president of YANASH was change its name because it sounds like a nasty rash. However, I realized that as the only queer organization on campus that allows queer and questioning students’ membership to be anonymous, its message, “You are not a stranger here” carries a connection to Davidson’s queer history that can’t be forgotten: in our past and our present, queer students have been made to feel like strangers here at Davidson.

In order to better serve our queer community in the present and pave the road for its future members, we must explore and unearth our past. I propose investigating the archive, connecting with our queer alumni, and publically memorializing the inimitable Zac Lacy ’97, who was one of the first openly gay students at Davidson and tragically committed suicide soon after graduating. We must have a shared understanding of the communities that started our traditions and, before them, the communities that lived in silence. With a better understanding of our history, we can more firmly place ourselves and focus our purpose within the greater Davidson College community. This history would provide a greater sense of solidarity and longevity as we document our strides and push for further progress at Davidson. It would establish our community’s permanence, as well as its importance in the past, present, and future.

I applaud and thank Q&A and Union Board for giving queer and questioning students that space at the drag show. It was an incredible night that allowed the greater Davidson community and the queer community to appreciate and celebrate us. That, Momma Drake, was the point of the night.

Going forward, I believe we should approach every public queer event by first acknowledging its place in Davidson’s queer history to convey our intentions and make room for the future of our community: our members of the community who aren’t in attendance as openly queer. Although students come (out) and go, the queer community is and will always be here.

Our community has a diverse, strong voice and interlinked presence on this campus that we must no longer isolate from our past.

Taylor Drake ’21 is a Memory Studies major from Maryville, Tennessee. Contact him at tadrake@davidson.edu.

Sports

5 Lacrosse Looks to Make a Comeback in A-10

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DREW EASTLAND ‘21 SPORTS EDITOR

he Women’s lacrosse team has ridden their roller coaster season to an even keel 7-5 record. After starting the season red-hot winning their first six games, the Women’s lacrosse team fell into a slump. The team has lost five of their last six games, and lost four straight from March 14th through March 24th.

Oddly enough, the Wildcats have struggled to win contests at home. Their home record of 3-4 falls short of the team’s preseason buzz and expectations. Home turf struggles have become a trend for the lacrosse team. In three of the last four seasons their home record was at or below .500.

Despite the recent string of losses, the team remains positive going forward. Their recent losing streak involved a treacherous stretch of games including a road contest at No. 13 Duke, and a tough game against rival UMass.

“We faced some pretty tough opponents after [the winning streak] and had a bit of a lull when we headed into conference,” Lindsay Rufolo ’19 said. “We are still working out the kinks, but we are heading into the third week of conference with a lot of work to do and a lot of determination to do it.”

Playing tough competition can help build team chemistry and provide an opportunity for less experienced players to take their game to

the next level.

“We definitely are a young team, so learning how to match up against some of the top teams in the country is important for our development,” Hayden Callahan ’22 said. “Games like those give us some quality experience and learning opportunities.”

The ‘Cats currently sit 8th in the A-10 Conference. To qualify for the A-10 Conference tournament, the team must finish in the top six.

It will be an uphill battle to make the postseason, but if the team focuses on their strengths, they should be able to right the ship.

One of those strengths is the team’s high draw win percentage; a draw is like a face off in ice hockey. With a draw win percentage of 60 percent, the ‘Cats rank seventh in the nation in this statistic. They also lead the A-10 in this measure.

“We have some really awesome draw girls,” Callahan commented. “[This] is huge because we can usually get possession of the ball off the draw, and that gives us better attacking opportunities.”

The team also does a great job of distributing the ball around while limiting the passes opponents can make. For the season, the ‘Cats have 74 assists while opponents have only managed to connect for 47 against them.

“We have very versatile players, not just one or two all-stars,” Callahan said. “Our goals are usually very well-rounded, and everyone contributes to the scoring play.”

Freshman phenom Braeden Dial competes with an opponent during a draw. Dial has already been named A-10 Rookie of the Week three times. Photographs by John Crawford ‘20 The team’s season will be defined by both the tangible measures: goals, assists, and draws, and by the intangibles. One intangible that players emphasizes was the energy level the team needs to maintain for success down the road.

“Energy,” Rufolo stressed. “[We need] 100% energy all over the field, off the field, in and out of practice, and all the time; energy is everything.”

The team has five games remaining and will

look to push for a place in the A-10 tournament. The recent string of disappointing results makes it difficult to remember this team is still 7-5 and has more than enough firepower to make a late season push in the A-10.

“I am looking forward to the weekend we head to Richmond and VCU; it would be awesome to get two wins on the road,” Rufolo previewed, “Every game from here on out is crucial.”

Confronting Eating Disorders in Davidson Athletics

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PATRICK DANIELSON ‘21 SPORTS WRITER

Weekly Sports Update

tudent athletes face immense challenges managing both academics and athletics. When mental health issues like eating disorders manifest in athletes, the student’s burden becomes even greater. “Eating disorders are so devastating…

Nothing is worth suffering an eating disorder,” said Isabella Pallotto ‘19, former ballet dancer at Davidson. This semester, Pallotto has pursued the issue of eating disorders in her senior psychology thesis.

Though eating disorders occur in non-athelets as well, Palloto’s research specifically focuses on the intersection of athletics and disordered eating at Davidson. Irregular eating behaviors can ruin a student athlete’s life. Some of the risks of these behaviors include organ damage, hospitalization, or death by compulsively altering caloric intake in one of several ways. “About 13.5% of male and female [college] athletes exhibit clinical or subclinical eating disorders compared to only 4.6% of non-athletes,” Pallotto writes, “40.2% of college undergraduates engaged in binge eating and 30.2% engaged in compensatory behaviors [in a studied month].” According to Davidson’s registered sports dietitian, Elizabeth Allred, “one in three female athletes are at risk for disordered eating.”

The most well-known eating disorders include bulimia nervosa and anorexia nervosa, characterized by uncontrollable binge eating and intentionally limiting calorie intake, respectively. However, disordered eating is not as simple as “eating too much” or “eating too little” by habit.

Another potential disorder, orthorexia, compels the person to eat the healthiest they believe they can. Obsessive exercise can even be considered a compensatory behavior, if motivated by a certain attitude. “You don’t know what [an athlete’s] attitude behind exercise is,” said Pallotto, who added: “I need to exercise to lose weight is more of the unhealthy [mindset]” for

an athlete.

For an eating habit to be a clinically diagnosed eating disorder, it must meet several criteria as deemed by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It calls for certain specifications of specific qualities, physically and mentally. To have moderate bulimia nervosa, for example, a person must exhibit binge eating behavior more than four times a week. For anorexia nervosa, a Body Mass Index (BMI) of sixteen or less is required. The qualities are uniform, meaning student athletes have the same benchmarks as non-athletes. Being an athlete can necessitate some muscle building, which weighs more than fat and thus contributes more to BMI, so it can be more difficult to be diagnosed with anorexia.

“40.2% of college undergraduates engaged in binge eating and 30.2% engaged in compensatory behaviors.”

Isabella Pallotto ‘19 At Davidson, eating disorders are taken seriously in regard to mental and physical health. “We have an eating disorders team comprised of MDs, nurses, counselors, athletic trainers and dietitians” stated Allred, “We meet monthly.” Not mentioned in that list are the sports psychologists on staff and the student athlete alumni who come back to talk with current athletes.

The dietitians and counselors talk to different teams, spreading information about the subject and letting their presence be known. They also encourage students to come to them, allowing individual counselling sessions at the student’s request.

Allred will also give out healthy snacks monthly in the athlete gym, to promote a healthy diet, and give out literature in the health center and in locker rooms to promote a healthy lifestyle.

Record Breaking Wildcats: Track

Both Men’s and Women’s Track travelled to Raleigh Relays hosted

by NC State last weekend. The Men’s 4x1500 relay, composed of Max Pearson ‘22, Colin Ross ‘22, Dylan Carmack ‘19, and Raphael Oettl ‘22, beat the previous mark, running 15:58.66. Meghan Corso ‘22, Marquia Humphries ‘22, Sophia Ackerman ‘22, and Saidah Rahman ‘20 made up the Women’s 4x200 team that broke the record in 1:43.41. And the Women’s 4x400 team broke last year’s record with a time of 3:48.05. The team was made up of Katie Hines ‘20, Grace Loehr ‘21, Bianca Nolde-Lopez ‘22 and Tori Long ‘19.W

Another program that the school is trying to incorporate is the Body Project, a nationwide program promoting body positivity and acceptance. “The Body Project was brought onto campus by the National Eating Disorder Association to help combat the prevalence of bulimia on college campuses among college women,” commented Mary Walters ‘19, one peer leader involved with the project.

The methodology of the Body Project at Davidson is to schedule two 120-minute workshops some time apart for groups of women to come together to discuss body image and body positivity, both for athletes and non-athletes alike. The girls participate in different activities, such as “writing a letter to your younger self or a girl today about the pressures of having to look and perform a certain way,” described Walters.

The Body Project was brought onto campus last semester, but another, similar project is in the works to join it on campus.

The Female Athlete Body, or FAB is also planned on coming to campus. It will promote healthy habits and body positivity within female athletic groups, and should work in tandem with the Body Project.

For both athletes and non-athletes, body image is a central factor in developing disturbed eating. “Sociocultural influences such as peers, parents, and the media covertly or overtly encourage the practice of appearance comparison to the thin-ideal,” writes Pallotto. Those three factors, peers, parents, and the media, are together called the Tripartite Influence Model of body image and eating disturbance. For athletes in lean, body-important individual sports like gymnastics and running, “there can be [inter-team] competition, more so than there might be on a team sport,” described Allred. That pressure combined with negative, critical comments from a coach or parent about an athlete’s body image and a promoted thin-ideal within television and other media “can heavily influence athletes’ perceptions and behaviors regarding their body.”

Wildcat Standings Lacrosse

Team

UMass Richmond George Mason Saint Joseph’s La Salle George Washington Duquesne Davidson

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L

Pct

4 3 3 3 2 2 1 1

0 1 1 1 2 2 3 3

1.000 .750 .750 .750 .500 .500 .250 .250

Arts and Culture A

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The Mystery of Edwin Drood

rtistic works are never the product of a single perspective. Even when the expression is extremely personal, the act of sharing or even revisiting it oneself, is a means of introducing a new point of view.

There is something about art which is created in the moments in which it is received.

This ‘something’ is ultimately crucial, if not to

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all artistic works, then certainly to works of performance art. In the case of musical theatre specifically, many people in many different roles contribute to the final, temporary image.

Initially, the story is crafted by writers and composers. Then, after passing through the rehearsal process, through countless cold and close reads, it reaches the stage. While actors,

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musicians, lighting directors, sound editors, and set designers build a visual world, behind the back curtain stage managers direct their own mirrored production.

Finally, the work of all of these hours and all of these hands is delivered to the audience, who in viewing it, finish that iteration of the project.

The Mystery of Edwin Drood, now running in the Duke Family Perfmormance Hall. Photographs by John Crawford ‘20.

Clara Hare-Grogg ‘19 Musician

As a violinist in the pit orchestra for The Mystery of Edwin Drood, I have had the pleasure of both observing and participating in a truly entertaining theatrical production.Typically, the pit orchestra for a musical is positioned below the stage, mostly hidden from the audience’s sight; the idea is that the orchestra simply provides auditory background accompaniment to support the actors onstage.

The Mystery of Edwin Drood, however, is a story within a story. Upon entering Duke Family Performance Hall, audience members are transported to a Victorian era music hall where a nineteenth-century theatre troupe recounts the tale of Drood.

In order to create this world, the pit orchestra for this production is only slightly lower than the stage, making the orchestra a clearly visible part of the show.The pit orchestra is essentially performing as Victorian era musicians who, in addition to providing musical accompaniment, interact with cast members in various parts of the show.

Instead of dressing inconspicuously in the all-black attire of a typical pit orchestra, the musicians embrace their visibility with Victorian era costumes. Ultimately, the musicians for Drood get to play a more prominent role than in other musicals.

My physical position as a violinist in the pit allows me a clear view of the stage. I like to think that this helps me create more expressive music because I can appreciate how my role connects with actions onstage.

For instance, music helps set the mood of the scene; seeing characters’ faces, special lighting, and dance moves enables me to better interpret that mood and determine what musical techniques should be used to communicate it. The uniquely visible nature of the Drood pit orchestra allows me to be both creatively engaged in and personally entertained by this production.

It is sometimes a challenge, however, to remain attentive to the music when I am tempted to become engrossed in the happenings onstage. In any case, it is an honor to play a role in supporting the hard work of a cast and crew that has put together such an enjoyable and captivating production.

Clara Hare-Grogg ‘19 is a Anthropology and Music double major from Montreat, NC. She can be reached for comment at clharegrogg@davidson.edu

Lee Kromer ‘21 Lighting Crew

Throughout my almost fifteen-year service to the theatre, I have had the privilege of studying almost every aspect of its craft. Though unable to perform in The Mystery of Edwin Drood because of my role in Detective Partner Hero Villain earlier this spring, I could work on the crew. So, every show I take my position as Spotlight Operator, sniping actors with my red-dot-sighted follow-spot nicknamed “Moral Support.”

I’ll skip over the script with the sole justification that I don’t like it. Indeed, I would argue that our performing talent far exceeds writing quality. The laud belongs to the company and production staff. Their implementation of the words on the page creates the art. The entire company worked hard over the past few months and continued to perfect musical numbers in the hours before each show.

For examples, look no further than the performances of Ashley Behnke ‘19 and Kessler Catterall ‘18. Alone, each is enrapturing; together, downright bewitching. Their contagious energy and physical presence lift the dialogue beyond what one might glean from merely reading the script, and by voting time, the audience is hopelessly infected.

However energetic, acting alone is just pantomime. Part of what makes Davidson’s performances so special is the world-building. Set pieces are artistic yet mobile, allowing the audience to feel deposited into Dickensian England without detracting precious energy. In terms of lighting, particularly with Kessler’s scenes, bathing her in spooky, red light from various angles scatters ominous shadows across her face, shifting with every move she makes.

Minor details such as these heighten the actors’ performances, and, honestly, make acting fun. When actors have fun, the audience has fun, regardless of a script’s shortcomings. One of Davidson’s most significant advantages is the chemistry between company members. The cast is remarkably close, despite the fact many aren’t theatre majors. Before shows, I bear witness to the shenanigans and comical interactions between company members, and this affection osmoses into the performance. Rigorous rehearsal allows all to have fun during performances and thereby pass it on to the audience, inviting the entire house to join in the willing suspension of disbelief, connecting the town and the College. Such is the power of theatre.

Lee Kromer ‘21 is an undeclared major from Charlotte, NC. He can be reached for comment at lekromer@davidson.edu

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This is why, in reviewing the musical The Mystery of Edwin Drood, we chose to include three distinct perspectives of this process.

These three reviews represent three of the many, equally crucial points of view which contributed to this final product.

- Alyssa Tirrel ‘22, Arts and Culture Editor

Ashley Behnke ‘19 Actress

As the leading male impersonator of the Music Hall Royale, I embody the gusto and oozing confidence of white masculinity in my role of Edwin Drood. My male castmates help me get into character each night by physically knocking me around until I’m annoyed enough to hit them back.

In my theatrical career, I have eternally played either the naïve ingénue or mysterious seductress, always an extremely feminine lady. This role has challenged me to embody what it means to fully take up space and own my power on the stage as this overconfident, dominant male.

However, while embodying masculinity is definitely not in my traditional type-cast, this show has allowed everyone in the cast (myself included) to “play” more than I’ve ever experienced before. Madison Hardaway ‘19 showed us all up on day one with his absolutely hilarious transformation from Chairman to Mayor Sapsea, showcasing his daring vocal and physical choices that bring so much life and absurdity to the character.

This show is truly an ensemble piece, with everyone bringing bold, fun, and playful choices to the stage. There is something almost spiritual about a cast that bonds and connects so intensely in such a short amount of time. They are some of the most soulful, witty, and downright pleasant people I’ve ever been around and starting our GroupMe was probably the best decision I’ve ever made.

Only a cast this wonderful could have made this shockingly challenging musical score and remarkably bizarre script so downright entertaining and magical. However, take my comments as you will, knowing that this show received Tony Awards for Best Book of a Musical and Best Original Score when it was first performed in 1985.

With an ending that is consistently surprising and various twists throughout, this musical leaves both actors and audience members on their toes, excited for whatever may come next.

As this is my last production at Davidson, I will do my best not to cry at the final curtain. Hope to see you there, tears or no tears!

Ashley Behnke ‘19 is a Theatre and Sociology double major from Washington, DC. She can be reached for comment at asbehnke@davidson.edu.

Et Cetera

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Caption Contest

In the spirit of The New Yorker’s famous cartoon caption contest, The Davidsonian is utilizing the skills of cartoonist Richard Farrell ‘22 to debut its own caption contest. We encourage you to come up with the captions for the images below and submit them to davidsonian@davidson.edu. We will reveal the winner online!

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Olivia Liccione ‘19 The primary word I’d use to describe my style is ‘cute’--lots of pastel colors, skirts and dresses, and really girly prints and motifs. My two biggest fashion inspirations are probably Japanese street fashion and 1940s and 1950s eras style. It’s sort of an unlikely mashup, but one that lends itself well to a really over-the-top feminine and cutesy look. My sense of style is definitely bold, but I really like that about it. If you have a visible disability like I do, you come to this understanding that people are going to look at you. A lot. Whether you like it or not. To me, dressing in a way that makes me happy is a way of taking back ownership of that gaze and reclaiming some of the agency I feel I lose when people unabashedly stare. On a less serious note, cute things have just spoken to me for as long as I can remember. I don’t know why anything cute fills me with immediate and overwhelming joy, but it always has, so I try to incorporate that into my aesthetic.

The

Davidsonian Staff Editors in Chief Design Editor News Editors Perspectives Editors Arts and Culture Editors Sports Editors Photography Editor Yowl Editors Web Editor Art Editor Features Editor Senior Copy Editor Copy Editors

Day 3

Day 1

Ethan Ehrenhaft ‘20, Katie Walsh ‘20 Sebastian Sola-Sole ‘21 Hope Anderson ‘22, Emma Pettit ‘20 Raven Hudson ‘21, Lizzie Kane ‘22 Alyssa Tirrell ‘22 Drew Eastland ‘21, Max Pearson ‘22 Olivia Forrester ‘22 Malorie Hudson ‘22, EJ Kelley ‘20 Jake Carver ‘21 Richard Farrell ‘22 Caroline Roy ‘20 Adam Ferraz ‘20 Sarah Austin ‘21, Lindy Bustabad ‘21, Susannah Cate ‘20, Yashi Gunawardena ‘19

Day 2

Day 5

Day 4

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Davidsonian “What We Wear” Section Set to Praise Another Bland Man For Not Wearing a T-Shirt Page #thrifter

April Fools, 2019

Davidson Arts Department Presents New Mystery Exhibit: “Who Killed Will E. Wildcat” Page It Was Lux

Guy Who Wears Bandana “For Fashion Reasons” Annoyed by Humans v. Zombies Participants Page 6

The Spring Hath Sprung Issue

British Student Pens Perspective Piece Defending the Stamp Act Page 1775

Campus Facing Crisis as Top Meme Group Content Creators Set to Graduate Page ‘19

Area Deities: In Landmark Policy Change, April Snow to Bring May’s Sunny Glow this Spring

Above: Mediocrity

Student Mesmerized By Sublimity of Carrigan Farms Waterfall Probably Needs to Get Out More E.H. LITTLE LIBRARY –– Uproarious laughter quickly turned to unsettling concern this past Tuesday on the first floor of the library as the friends of Pete Danderson ‘20 realized that their classmate was not joking in the slightest when he spoke of how excited he was to attend an Eating House formal this weekend and see “that majestic waterfall of such grandeur and beauty that inspires great awe in me each time I behold it in my travels to the Quarry at Carrigan Farms.”

When asked about the incident, Danderson’s date Sarah O’Hara ‘20 remarked, “I didn’t realize until now that he was actually serious about his intense passion for the beauty of the waterfall and all that.

He kept mentioning it all semester––his desire to go see the ‘falls,’ as he calls it. I took his statements as a lighthearted flirtation, but I guess he actually thinks that cheesy fake waterfall is some sort of quasi-divine spectacle or something. I won’t lie, it’s a little bit disconcerting.”

Danderson’s suitemates told The Yowl that their friend spent 27 out of the 31 days in March buckled

down in the library, with each study session lasting no longer than eight hours. All this time spent indoors, it appears, has drastically lowered Danderson’s standards as to what qualifies as natural beauty, leading him to conjure up distorted memories of patently unnatural sights such as the Carrigan Farms waterfall.

Mark Stark ‘20, Danderson’s roommate since freshman year, expressed concern for Danderson’s overall wellbeing. “I think we need to get the kid on a DO trip or something. Or even just have him take an afternoon at Lake Campus. Anything to get him out of the library, honestly. I mean, he’s already from New Jersey. He really hasn’t been exposed to any sort of natural scenery, and this thing with the waterfall is just kind of sad.”

The Yowl recently investigated Danderson’s carrel in the library and discovered a series of handwritten poems professing such sentiments as a “deep desire to behold your sublime beauty once again,” accompanied by a series of illustrations of waterfalls. We concur with his friends. This kid needs to get out more.

THE HEAVENS –– In a momentous declaration relayed to local officials by the messenger spirit Mercurius, the Council of Supreme Deities’ Subcommittee on Wind, Weather, and Worldwide Precipitation Patterns proclaimed that the atmospheric forces that drive Davidson’s climate will no longer be set to their normal setting of ‘April Showers Bring May Flowers’––the guiding axiom that has dictated springtime weather trajectories in the region for the past 2,000 years. By a narrow 7-6 vote, the Subcommittee decided to adopt a new approach by which ‘April Snow Brings May’s Sunny Glow.’

The initiative was first put into place on Tuesday, with snow flurries abundant throughout the morning in Charlotte and its surrounding 30-mile radius. Davidson’s campus was abuzz with news of the light snow, prompting such reactions as “What the f*ck,” “How the f*ck,” and “Really, Supreme Deities, really?” from students, faculty, and staff. Some even went as far to question the judgement of Mother Nature, who is currently serving in her 4,543,000,000th consecutive term as Chairwoman of the Subcommittee.

When asked about the sudden shift in such a longstanding policy, Chairwoman Nature acknowledged that the change was unprecedented but expressed hope that human underlings at Davidson and in the surrounding area could soon come to appreciate the change of atmospheric pace. “I know that the decision to make April a snowy month will be a difficult transition for some, especially those who brought their winter coats home with them over spring break,” said Nature.

The omnipotent weather deity continued, “I understand the concerns, I really do. But would you all rather go back to rain? Would you? April showers kind of suck, right? I don’t know. Maybe I’m wrong. It seemed like a good idea when Boreas brought it up at the last monthly meeting. I thought it would be a nice change of pace, you know? Whatever. Back in my 12,000th term the atmosphere was just volcanic ash spewing everywhere constantly.

So you know what, you should be thanking us no matter what.”

The Yowl was able to get in contact with several of the divine beings who voted against the proposal, which was one of the most divisive since the Subcommittee voted to let there be a dome in the middle of the waters to separate one body of water from the other over four million years ago.

Said one opinionated deity, “We did consider Spring Frolics, and how the beloved festival might be affected by the presence of snow. I won’t lie, that probably swayed a few people to the ‘nay’ side, but it just wasn’t enough.”

Decision Davidson LUXury Package to Offer Extravagant Overnight Experience for Prospective Students DAVIDSON, NC –– In an astonishing measure described by one official as an effort to “stay ahead of the curve” and “continue to attract the best and brightest,” Davidson College’s Office of Admissions & Financial Aid announced Monday that prospective members of the Class of 2023 will, for the first time ever, have the option to select an upgraded luxury package for their overnight stay during Decision Davidson weekend.

In an email sent to all admitted students and their parents ahead of this weekend’s Decision Davidson event––a yearly spring showcase that allows potential Wildcats to get a taste of campus life and hear one too many a capella performances––the Admissions Office introduced the new ‘Decision Davidson LUXury Package.’

This exclusive experience promises to “indulge

The

Yowl

YOU, our BELOVED admitted applicant, a PRIZED member of the 19.3%, with every attention, comfort, and kindness that your disciplined and creative mind can imagine during your stay with us this weekend.”

“The LUXury Package, whose stylization is a reference to Davidson’s motto ‘Alenda Lux Ubi Orta Libertas’ The LUXury Package, whose stylization is a reference to Davidson’s motto “Alenda Lux Ubi Orta Libertas” as well as the school’s hunky new mascot, is available to all students

WRITERS Kyle (thanks Kyle!)

Amber Brad Tammy Wammy

QUOTE OF THE WEEK “You shouldn’t really rule out the possibility of snow in NC until AT LEAST June.”

–– Asheville Native

who choose to partake in the optional overnight stay with a first-year host. Rather than being provided with the typical accommodations, which have historically included a one-inch yoga mat for sleeping and a free-meal voucher for Vail Commons, those who select the LUXury package will be granted a $100 stipend to Kindred, in addition to several grandiose room enhancements that aim to maximize comfort.

The package’s description states that the host’s room is guaranteed to be located only in either Cannon or Watts, and certainly not “that abhorrent Richardson cesspool.” Such LUXury-designated rooms will be furnished with Tempur-Pedic air mattresses, complete with customized throw pillows featuring lifelike illustrations of the prospective student’s loved ones. When asked about this seemingly unnec-

essary and potentially unsettling feature, an Admissions spokesperson told The Yowl that the pillows were “a nice added touch, something to remind the admitted students that this place should feel like home.”

Other perks of the LUXury Package include the replacing of the host’s dorm room decorations with posters dedicated to the admitted student’s favorite sports teams and movies, a repainting of the room to better match the visitor’s favorite color, monogrammed bathrobes and slippers, and an electric toothbrush.

At press time, Deans of Admissions at Amherst, Bowdoin, Haverford, and Swarthmore were seen panicking as they heard about Davidson’s luxurious overnight offering to admitted students. “Well gosh darn it,” said one high-ranking admissions officer, “Why didn’t

Weekly Horoscope Regardless of Astrological Sign

You may not necessarily approve of the behavior of the prospective students around you, Wildcat, but that doesn’t mean you need to push their parents out of the Union Red line. Be more accepting of their intrusions onto campus. Don’t feel like you need to teach people a lesson simply because you don’t understand their ways of life. You may be jumping to conclusions without taking the time to understand there are more important things in life than the vegetable of the day.

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian. Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth.