4/10/19

The

Davidsonian

Independent Student Journalism Since 1914

inside

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Adopt-a-Grandfriend pairs students with local senior citizens

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Volume 114, Issue 20

April 10, 2019

President Quillen argues free and inclusivity go together

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Arts & Culture takes student and faculty perspectives on dance

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Nuggets! Hardee’s CEO betrays his own brand, says The Yowl

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Campus Hosts Immigration Conference EMMA BRENTJENS ‘21 STAFF WRITER

T Will Smith ‘21 works on a gig from the Jay Hurt Hub for Innovation. Photograph by Olivia Forrester ‘22.

Gig-Hub Offers Flexible Employment

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SAVANNA VEST ‘22 STAFF WRITER

ig-Hub is a new employment program of paid shortterm projects for students through the Jay Hurt Hub for Innovation and Entrepreneurship. The program aims to bridge the gap between companies looking for short-term employees and students looking for work during the academic year.

Since its introduction at the end of the 2018 fall semester, Gig-Hub has offered short-term, project-based internship opportunities accommodating a variety of students’ availabilities and skill sets.

Julie Goff ‘05, the Hurt Hub General Manager, conceived of Gig-Hub and has been coordinating the program’s design and implementation for the last year.

“I originally came up with the idea in Spring 2018, after hearing from startups who needed real-time project help and knowing that the rigor of Davidson doesn’t allow for big commitment internships during the semester,” Goff said.

Lauren Crane ‘19, an English major and Digital Studies minor, is one student consultant of Gig-Hub. Crane created a video for a local 3D x-ray technology company in collaboration with the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and she is currently developing a website for a writer through another Gig-Hub internship.

“Gig-Hub has been a really great way to get experience

working on non-academic projects and connect with professionals that I otherwise would never even know about,” Crane said.

The process to apply for a Gig-Hub internship is very similar to those of most other Davidson College-sponsored positions. Students begin by applying through Handshake to one or more of the eight skill pools—Videography / Photography / Art, Translation Services, Data Analytics, Web Development, Marketing / Design / Social Media, Copywriting / Editing / Web Content, General Research, and Startup Generalist. After applying, students hear back from job offers related to their skill pool and choose which projects they want to get involved in. Students currently working on gigs are called “student consultants.”

“Students apply to these pools and are matched up to these pools based on the skills that they offer.” Will Smith ‘21, a GigHub team member, stated.

Each skill pool is tailored to a different interest, which makes work experience through Gig-Hub accessible to students with many different academic and personal engagements. If students are interested in learning more about a particular skill, students can receive training prior to or during their internship, according to Dr. Laurie Heyer, the Faculty Director for the Hurt Hub. “The Hub also offers a bunch of training sessions,” Crane said. “For example, I wanted to learn more about how to

he weekend of March 29 through March 31, Davidson became the first southern school to host the ninth annual Collegiate Alliance for Immigration Reform (CAIR) Conference, comprised of several activities and lectures, including two keynote speakers. Some Davidson professors and speakers from local groups in Charlotte, such as Charlotte Uprising, Comunidad Colectiva, and the Southeast Asian Coalition, also participated.

“I think something that I saw people enjoying was [that] each style was so distinct and unique and engaging in kind of a different way,” said Cynthia Rodriguez ‘20, one of the conference organizers, along with Itziri Gonzalez-Barcenas ‘19, Alan Morales Loyola ‘21, Uyen Nguyen ‘20, Yara Quezada Marino ‘21, Tony Solis Cruz ‘19, and Leslie Vergara ‘21.

Rodriguez, who got involved after she came back from studying abroad, worked on verifying food, payments, panelists, and speakers. She added that during the conference, for her, “it was kind of on-call,” in terms of presenting speakers and assigning last-minute hosts for visiting students. Morales Loyola contributed to the conference’s website and worked with Technology and Innovation and Physical Plant in organizing the event.

The conference planning began last year when a group of students attended the CAIR Conference at Harvard College. The event is entirely student-run, and “students really hold each other accountable to continuing the conference,” Rodriguez said. “It is important that it’s very student-run, because that’s somewhat of a call-to-action to the community in general,” Morales Loyola explained.

The group is currently in the process of choosing the next group of students and host institution. “I think there was a lot of interest in bringing this initiative and these ideas back to their own campuses and communities, which was really exciting for us,” Rodriguez said.

In the search for the next conference host, “location is something really important to us,” Rodriguez said, especially after having hosted it in the South for the first time. Morales Loyola said that many people may not “think about the region being very receptive to immigrants.”

“The South is, I think, a place people don’t think about when it comes to immigration, but it’s slowly becoming one,” Rodriguez said. For example, in Charlotte, “there is a very particular increase in Southeast Asian immigration,” she added.

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New Jewish Studies Course to be Offered in Fall 2019

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KAIZAD IRANI ‘22 STAFF WRITER

n the midst of picking classes for next semester, students may have come across a new History course titled, “History 337: Topics in Jewish History.” The work and petition of a student collective ensured this inaugural position in the wake of last semester’s doxxing incident.

The petition for a Jewish Studies Department was released at the start of the Spring semester and received over 1,100 signatures.

The general vision for the department was that it would be an interdisciplinary program, consisting of classes dealing with Jewish literature, archaeology, politics, culture, and history. The working group gained inspiration

from some of the Jewish Studies programs at Davidson’s peer institutions, such as Williams College and Colgate University.

“A lot of students felt that there is a lack of cultural fluency with Jewish studies and history at Davidson,” expressed a leader of the student-working group, Dahlia Krutkovich ‘21.

“Jewish life here is mostly student-driven, and I think we need to expand that to the faculty.

It is very important to have someone who can speak intelligently on these issues and that has a doctorate in Jewish studies and issues.”

The history department is in the process of hiring a two-year Visiting Assistant Professor of Modern European History and Jewish Studies. The professor will be in charge of creating a curriculum for the class being offered next semester. Members of the student-working

group were present and active in the History department’s interviews and selection process for the hiring of the new professor.

son,” shared Professor and Chair of the History Department, Dr. Michael Guasco.

Along with the Jewish Studies class being

“Our hope is that students will find in the course, whatever the specific topic will be, an opportunity to develop a broader understanding of Jewish history in a European context.”

- Dr. Michael Guasco “Our hope is that students will find in the course, whatever the specific topic will be, an opportunity to develop a broader understanding of Jewish history in a European context and use that as a stepping-stone toward a more contextualized appreciation for the place of Jews in the modern world, including David-

offered next semester under the History department, there will be two additional Jewish Studies related courses listed for Spring 2020.

The college has also received a donation for a new three year visiting-Professor position.

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News

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CAIR Immigration Conference Moves South CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 Most immigrants in North Carolina live in Mecklenburg and and Wake counties. Latinx immigrants make up seven percent of Mecklenburg County’s population, while four percent of the population is comprised of Asian immigrants [1]. In fact, North Carolina has one of the fastest growing Asian and Pacific Islander populations in the country [2]. According to a site run by UNC Greensboro, Asian, African, Eastern European, and Caribbean immigrants contribute to the local population [3].

Morales Loyola “liked that there was a step away from just the traditional immigration talk.” “Even students on campus that I guess would not really fit the stereotypical immigrant are affected by immigration,” he said.

“We wanted the conversation of immigration to be about beyond what is typically portrayed in the media,” Morales Loyola said. However, despite the group’s efforts “to de-center the Latinx narrative in immigration… the conference did end up being Latinx-centric,” Rodriguez said. Without this de-centering, “it erases the fact and reality of immigration being a Black issue and pan-Asian issue,” she added.

Rodriguez continued that, although the conference included speakers from different backgrounds, “everything existed within a

Latin American context or narrative.” For example, some presentations used Spanish without translation. When choosing the next hosts, the group “will be looking for applications that address the centralizing of the Latinx immigration narrative and seek to de-center it,” she said.

“I think if we’re measuring success by just general student feedback about the content, about their levels of inspiration and reflection, I would say it was pretty successful,” Rodriguez said. However, Morales Loyola expressed that he “honestly would have liked to see more Davidson students” at the conference.

Daniel Thomas ‘21, who attended the conference, said, “for me personally, it was just a good learning experience.” Thomas expressed that, as a first-generation American, “this topic is very impactful to me and also to members of my family who are struggling with immigration.” Despite not having previously shared his connection to immigration, he said, “this event did allow me to sort of loosen up a bit.”

Thomas found the second keynote presentation by Alan Pelaez Lopez, an Afro-indigenous poet and artist from Mexico, to be especially poignant. “I went in thinking it would be about something but it turned out to be about an entirely different topic,” he said. Pelaez Lopez’s main question considered the fight for

From left to right: Glo Merriweather, Itziri Gonzalez-Bercenas ‘19, Brice Rosette, and Ke’ala Lopez. Photo courtesy Itziri Gonzalez-Bercenas ‘19. citizenship in America alongside the struggle many indigenous people face in gaining basic rights. “It was a part that I never really considered,” Thomas continued.

Thomas also had an opportunity to meet students who attended from other schools.

He said the conference allowed him to listen to others’ stories and share his own: “I hope moving forward that here at Davidson we can, as a community, help create those spaces where students feel comfortable sharing their own lived experiences.”

Students Continue Progress Towards Jewish Studies CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 That position will focus on Jewish identity, rather than history.

“The History Department will be making a more concerted effort to offer courses that speak to Jewish History, Anti-Semitism, Jewish Thought and Politics, and so forth,” said Dr. Guasco. “Our hope would be to build on that going forward , but our ability to do so will depend on what the institution as whole has to say about it. Certainly, I believe there is institutional commitment to making it easier for students – all students – to develop a better appreciation for a history that too often gets ignored.”

Students interested in Jewish Studies can also take classes outside of the historical realm. The Religious Studies Department has and will continue to provide courses on the theologi-

cal aspect of the subject.

“Professor Karl Plank has been teaching Jewish Studies courses in the Religious Studies Department for many years, including courses on Modern Jewish Literature and Modern Jewish Thought,” expressed Professor and Chair of the Religious Studies department, Dr. Trent Foley. “He has also written a book that explores the possibility of empathizing with Holocaust victims, yet in a way that does not trivialize its horror [Mother of the Wire Fence: Inside and Outside the Holocaust], not to mention a number of articles and book reviews in the area of Jewish Studies.”

Students and faculty alike believe that the movement for a Jewish Studies Department will help Davidson be more inclusive and diverse.

“The Jewish Studies Department is undoubtedly a need

here at Davidson for so many reasons,” said member of the student-working group and co-president of Davidson’s Hillel organization, Josh Lodish ‘22. “At a strongly Christian school like Davidson, I have found being Jewish to be somewhat isolating. At times there is a disconnect among my peers, not born out of any ill-will, but simply from a lack of knowledge. A Jewish Studies department would help to address these gaps in our awareness of other cultures, and I believe would be incredibly beneficial to our campus community.”

“Ultimately, we want Jewish life to be more equitable and sustainable on campus,” said Krutkovich. “I am really excited for the coming positions and to see their success. I hope they find Davidson a nourishing home for academics, as well as social and cultural experiences.”

Jay Hurt Hub Connects Students and Companies CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 Professionally build a website, so I signed up for their UX and Web Development Workshop. The people and resources the Hub has to offer is the biggest benefit of the program.”

Heyer explained that by offering on-campus, year-round opportunities, Gig-Hub eliminates the limitations of student work experience to only summer opportunities. Students can do similar “gigs” throughout the academic year according to their own schedules.

“The primary goal is giving students professional experience without detracting too much from their academic work...The time can be spread across my regular weekly schedule, and on my own time I get that work done,” Heyer explained.

Altan Tutar ‘20 studies Computer Science and Mathematics and is currently working on a team with two other students to create a data pipeline for Corvid Technologies.

“It’s a good experience for students because you’re not limited to just the summer,” Tutar said. “You can also code and learn while you’re at school, which is very good for computer science and more [disciplines].”

“While I was really fortunate to gain real experience in undergrad, I think so often the only professional experience students can get is over the summer, which is not a consistent position,” Crane said. “Gig-Hub fills that hole and provides a way for students to gain handson experience. And they are so welcoming of anyone and really work to find projects that

interest you.”

Along with networking and skill-building benefits, many students who have interned through Gig-Hub explained the accessibility the program provides for pay and real work experience during the semester.

“I think the biggest benefit is being able to track my hours and my work, while doing a gig that is similar to a work-study job,” Adrienne Lee ‘21 said. “It is convenient to be paid through [the] college, and to be guaranteed a kind of security that the Davidson bubble offers.”

Lee is a Studio Arts major and Neuroscience minor who is translating a French essay for Van Gogh researcher Jared Baxter ‘93.

Heyer said that Gig-Hub also provides more comprehensive access for all students to obtain work experience during the school year.

By removing arbitrariness and bias through a streamlined application system, Heyer said it “levels the playing field” for students to discover and get job opportunities. The Hub also acts as a liaison between companies and student consultants so that gigs go smoothly.

“Via The Hurt Hub, we handle the logistics of time tracking, payroll, contracts, invoicing, etc. so it removes the friction that otherwise keeps companies and students from working together on a contract basis,” Goff said.

The specific workload differs depending on the project, but all students in Gig-Hub will work regularly with a representative of the company sponsoring their project, and in some cases, with other students. This setup allows

Illustration by Richard Farrell ‘22. for student collaboration and communication, and for students to see real-world implementations and results following their projects’ completion.

“You have a mentor in that company, so the mentor is always reaching out to talk to you. I see it more like consulting in a way than working in a company,” Tutar said. “It’s a gig because it’s a very short amount of time that you do to work on this project, and then you get another project, which is good for students.”

Goff said that the Hub looks forward to reviewing the results of their pilot Gig-Hub semester to consider improvements and expansions to the program, including potentially more skill pools and disciplines.

“I think learning in the real world happens once you have a task, and you don’t just have a textbook given to you. You get to figure out, ‘how do I learn this?’ and that’s something you don’t get in traditional school,” Tutar said.

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April 10, 2019

Adopted Grandfriends Bridge Generational Gaps

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BETSY SUGAR ‘21 STAFF WRITER

avidson has over 25 student organizations dedicated to service and civic engagement, one of which is the Adopt-a-Grandfriend program (AAG). According to the Civic Engagement Council’s page on Davidson’s website, student “volunteers are paired with senior citizens in the Davidson community. The program sponsors monthly activities that facilitate relationships between students and senior citizens.”

The town of Davidson also has information for older community members to sign up to be an adopted grandfriend to the students. The town’s site describes the program as “a fun and easy way to be a mentor and a friend to someone.” The site also lists the six scheduled events put on for those in the program.

The events include a dessert social in October, followed by a Thanksgiving potluck, a holiday gathering, Valentines and hors d’oeuvres, trivia night, and finally an end-of-year BBQ coming up in May. The town’s site prefaces the scheduled gatherings are not mandatory but rather for fun and to build friendships: “The real magic takes place when you spend time with your grandfriends outside of these events,” the site’s descriptor urges. “Call each other up for coffee, a Wildcat game, art or musical event or a home cooked dinner.” Many who participate in the program do find that while the events are fun, most of the bonding does happen outside of the suggested outings.

Multiple students and community members participate in the program, including Queena Chen ‘21, who is partnered alongside Cassidy Gould ‘22 with Cynthia and Jake, two senior citizens from the town. Chen had decided to sign up for the program after learning about it while visiting and seeing the booth at the activities fair her first year at Davidson.

Chen and her grandfriends do many different activities together, both through the college and outside of it as well. “My grandfriends would take us out or invite us to their house for dinner. We would go to basketball games and wrestling meets together, and they even took us out to Charlotte for a really cool dance show once,” Chen described. Other things that Chen and

Clockwise, starting bottom left. Grace Cho ‘21, Queena Chen ‘21, Cynthia, and Jake celebrate Jake’s birthday at a Mexican restauran. Photo courtesy of Queena Chen ‘21. her grandfriends have done together include going out to dinner to celebrate Jake’s birthday, attending the Chinese Lunar Festival hosted on campus, and participating in the events sponsored by the Adopt-a-Grandfriend program.

Chen also celebrated her birthday alongside her grandfriend Cynthia, as the pair happen to share the same birthday, “but over 40 years apart,” according to Chen. For the joint celebration, they gathered with other students and adopted grandfriends to celebrate the pair’s birthday over cake and dinner.

In an interview, Chen’s grandfriend, Cynthia expressed her experience with the program. Cynthia and her husband decided to join after learning about the program through the Town

of Davidson Parks and Recreation department. “It seemed a great way to get to know Davidson students on a personal level [...] I lived in Spain for five years, have a son living in China and have traveled extensively, so my husband and I hoped we would be matched with a student who came from or had lived in another country. We were lucky and were matched with students who had international backgrounds.”

Cynthia also spoke more about her favorite memories she has developed from the program, including the performance in Charlotte she attended with Queena. “We had two extra tickets to see DIAVALO, a dance performance at Blumenthal Theater, and took Queena and Grace [...] It was fun for my husband and I to have time to chat with the girls about their interests and backgrounds, as well as about the show.” Cynthia also expressed a lot of gratitude towards the program. “It is a privilege to have an opportunity to develop a personal relationship with these amazing students.”

Lucy Hammet ‘20 is another student participating in the Adopt-a-Grandfriend program. Hammet first learned about the program her freshman year when hearing some of her hallmates discuss signing up for the program. “Since I live pretty far from Davidson and don’t get to see my family as often as I would like to, this program seemed like a great way to connect with the Davidson community and the chance to spend time with people who aren’t college aged,” Hammet said, explaining why she decided to join the program.

Hammet, along with two of her friends, share two adopted grandfriends, Doug and Pam, whose grandchildren all live outside of North Carolina. Hammet expressed a great appreciation for the program and the lasting effects it will continue to have on herself, “I have loved getting to know Doug and Pam over the past two and a half years. It has been such a special experience spending time with them and hearing about their lives.”

Hammet also appreciates the opportunity to form meaningful and lasting relationships: “I have loved knowing that there are two people that care about me in the Davidson community outside of my friends that go to Davidson. I am very appreciative that I will have a connection to the town of Davidson even after I graduate.”

Crime Log Time Reported

APRIL 4TH

Attendance

Takeaways

Agenda

LIZZIE KANE ‘22 SGA CORRESPONDENT

1.Alcohol Policy 2.Bylaws 3.Finals and Field Day Sign-Ups 4.Senate Court A group of SGA members presented their new ideas for the alcohol write-up policy to the administration. A vote will take place between now and the end of the year on whether or not to implement the new policies next school year. The Mental and Physical Health committee will be sending out a survey soon regarding student mental health.

Union Café will transition to online orders via kiosks next school year. SGA voted on the revisions to their bylaws. This included electing Brandon Harris ’22, Caroline Black ’20, and Andrew Coyner ’20 to the Senate Court, a group that handles bylaw discrepancies and impeachment.

Two committees did not meet this week. The meeting ended 10 minutes early.

82%

or

27 33

Excused Tardees: Bess Li ’19, Nilay Ghatlia ’21, Henry Meza Flores ’21, Andres Sanchez ’19, Gina Martinez ’20 Excused Absence: Alex Aiello ’21, Wilson Pava ’19, Uyen Nguyen ’20, Nick Nguyen ’22, Unexcued Absence: Eleni Tsitinidi ’21, Sedem Dankwa ’21

Description/Location

3/28/19 at 0030 hrs

Underage Consumption

3/29/19 at 0145 hrs

Poss. of Alcohol Underage

4/2/19 at 2042 hrs

Vehicle Larceny

4/4/19 at 1349 hrs

Assault on Female

Richardson, Dean Referral

Belk, Dean Referral

Patterson Court, Inactive

SAE, Prosecution Declined

4/5/19 at 2000 hrs

Fraud

4/5/19 at 2330 hrs

Suspicious Vehicle

4/7/19 at 0215 hrs

Underage Consumption

Davidson, Further Investigation

Ramsey Lot, Clear by Citation

Duke, Dean Referral

Correction: In the April 3rd edition of The Davidsonian SGA Box,“Nick Nguyen ‘22” was misspelled.

Perspectives

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Olivia Daniels ’19, Daisy Jones ’19, Severine Stier ’19, and Emma Tayloe ’19

Take Your Latin Honors to LinkedIn

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uch of what comprised Davidson’s 2018 graduation ceremony came as no surprise: the sea of middle-aged bodies shifting in flimsy, black folding chairs, the impending destruction of the meticulously maintained lawn, and President Carol Quillen’s overzealous call for bipartisanship in the post-grad world.

As Dean Wendy Raymond began reading aloud the names of the graduates, we were taken aback by what we expected to be a trivial aspect of the day–the order in which graduates crossed the stage. The students with the highest GPAs (summa cum laude) were recognized first. The graduation order then proceeded as follows: those with GPAs below a 3.5, then those with a GPA between a 3.5 and 3.75 (cum laude), and finally those with above a 3.75 (magna cum laude).

This year, graduates will sit and receive their diplomas in alphabetical order, based on their last name and divided by degree.

According to Dean Byron McCrae, Latin honors will likely be listed in the bulletin next to each person’s name and announced as each person walks across the stage, as in years past.

By restructuring the ceremony so that students are no longer grouped according to GPA, Davidson is responding to the critique of GPA as a total summary of an academic career.

Although we recognize the progress made by alphabetizing the order in which graduates cross the stage, we hope that future ceremonies will eliminate the mention of GPA-based honors.

From our first official interaction with Davidson—the col-

lege application process—our GPAs have been intentionally reviewed as part of a larger picture in the holistic admission process.

Like many of its peer institutions, Davidson evaluates applicants on more than high school grades. Extracurricular activities, employment, family commitments, educational background, and peer recommendations all contribute to a candidate’s application. Tour guides even emphasize that unlike many institutions, Davidson students uniquely value academic peer support, collaboration, and honor.

So, if GPA is not the focus of our arrival at Davidson, why should it define our departure?

GPAs do not reflect the hours that students may spend working off-campus to pay for their tuition, participating in volunteer service initiatives, helping friends in challenging circumstances, or working through mental health issues. When grades are the sole defining element of a student’s position at graduation, such experiences of growth, development, and service become barriers to “success” instead of feats worth rewarding.

Despite being widely framed as a meritocratic system, GPAs are informed by a variety of other factors: high school preparation, professors’ pedagogical approaches, students’ majors, socioeconomic status, etc. Like many scholars, we are interested in interrogating how GPAs are formulated and interpreted.

It is imperative to emphasize the ways in which GPA reflects certain privileges, such as access to academic resources and support, as much as it reflects effort.

Even though students and community members have histor-

ically been prioritized during Davidson’s graduation ceremonies, the execution of this goal is always evolving.

For example, in an opinion piece published in the Wall Street Journal in May of 2017, the year of Davidson’s 180th commencement, Quillen expressed intentionality in the construction of Davidson’s graduation ceremony. Departing from the common model of a guest commencement speech, she stated that by not inviting an unaffiliated speaker, Davidson redirects the focus of graduation to the students. Through this decision, Quillen maintained a commitment to placing the college community at the forefront of the ceremony.

While we look forward to acknowledging our classmates’ accomplishments on May 19th, we hope that successes outside of numerical measures are prominent reasons for celebration amongst our peers and loved ones.

As one of many factors in a student’s academic career, Latin honors certainly have value. As labels, however, we think they are best expressed through resumes or in private conversations with families or employers.

If you want to make them public, take your Latin honors to LinkedIn. Olivia Daniels ’19 is a History major from Phillipsburg, NJ. She can be reached at oldaniels@davidson.edu. Daisy Jones ‘19 is a Gender and Sexuality studies major from Glen Ellyn, IL. She can be reached at dljones@davidson.edu. Severine Stier ’19 is an English major from Princeton, NJ. She can be reached at sestier@davidson.edu. Emma Tayloe ’19 is a Chemistry major from Arlington, VA. She can be reached at emtayloe@davidson.edu. All four contributors can be located at B301.

Carol Quillen Reframing the Free Speech versus Inclusivity Debate

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t Davidson and across the country, conversations about campus culture start by juxtaposing “free speech” and “inclusivity”: these conversations assume that valuing free speech means allowing points of view that marginalize or disrespect some people, and that valuing inclusivity means outlawing some points of view so as to welcome all equitably into the community.

Within this way of thinking, inclusivity and free speech will inevitably conflict. At some point, you have to choose.

I resist this way of thinking. First, to some people, it appears self-serving. Their reasoning goes like this: How can you, in the name of inclusivity, exclude some points of view from the get-go? Clearly inclusivity is not the value, political correctness is. You only want to include people who already agree with you.

After this argument is presented, the conversation often ends in shouting or stony silence. No one learns much. There’s a more productive way to frame the issues.

There’s a deeper reason to resist presuming an inevitable conflict between free speech and inclusivity; such a presumption ignores how these two things can go and have gone together.

As historically white, male colleges and universities opened doors to previously excluded groups—including people of color, Jews, white women, undocumented students,

and lower-income students—an institutional commitment to free speech enabled scholars from these groups and their allies to ask different, often scary questions and thus to develop new fields of study, new methodological approaches, and new curricula.

Gender and sexuality studies, critical race studies, feminist economics, and other fields would not have emerged without the space afforded to brave scholars by the ideals of academic freedom and free speech.

Under what circumstances can inclusivity and free speech mutually support one another?

Our expanded use of crucial concepts like “diaspora,” “exile,” “nationalism,” “class,” “gender identity,” “disability,” and “human” developed in part because colleges and universities enabled challenges to inherited knowledge. And what “everyone” knew to be true and right turned out to be wrong.

In other words, an ongoing institutional commitment to free speech and inquiry enabled efforts of scholars from previously excluded groups to challenge the status quo in ways that led to more inclusive communities

The

Davidsonian Staff Editors in Chief Design Editor News Editors Perspectives Editors Arts and Culture Editors Sports Editors Photography Editor Yowl Editors Web Editor Art Editor Features Editor Senior Copy Editor Copy Editors

Ethan Ehrenhaft ‘20, Katie Walsh ‘20 Sebastian Sola-Sole ‘21 Hope Anderson ‘22, Emma Pettit ‘20 Raven Hudson ‘21, Lizzie Kane ‘22 Alyssa Tirrell ‘22 Drew Eastland ‘21, Max Pearson ‘22 Olivia Forrester ‘22 Malorie Hudson ‘22, EJ Kelley ‘20 Jake Carver ‘21 Richard Farrell ‘22 Caroline Roy ‘20 Adam Ferraz ‘20 Sarah Austin ‘21, Lindy Bustabad ‘21, Susannah Cate ‘20, Yashi Gunawardena ‘19

and more accurate knowledge.

Similarly, museums and theatres with a commitment to free expression have, in the recent past, shown works that many people found offensive. Their commitment to showing such works in the face of widespread criticism and legal threats gave the broad public easier access to Robert Mapplethorpe’s The Perfect Moment, Tony Kushner’s Angels in America, and even Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It” (once included in the “Filthy Fifteen,” a list of the songs most objectionable to a parental watchdog group).

I recall these facts here only to suggest that, as we confront our current context, we also might ask different questions, ones that challenge the idea that inclusivity and free speech will inevitably conflict.

Under what circumstances can inclusivity and free speech mutually support one another?

What would we as members of this community need to believe and do? What institutional structures and practices would we need to dismantle?

And, as Jalin Jackson ’19 (“Should Free Speech or Davidson Whiteness Be Our Focus?” March 27th, 2019) powerfully reminds us, a single-minded focus on free speech derails the very questions that a genuine commitment to unfettered inquiry would enable.

Jackson points the way by foregrounding whiteness and related lines of inquiry.

Other questions might also emerge.

How were Darwin’s ideas used to enable or underwrite racist public policies and what are the legacies of this?

How does social contract theory shape our ideas about the family and potentially undermine gender equity?

What particularizing attributes does our putatively universal definition of “human being” presume?

How do these unexamined presumptions (and our lack of interest in uncovering them) perpetuate mechanisms of exclusion that undermine our efforts to build an inclusive community?

We can’t pursue these and other urgent questions without talking about power— whose voice matters and why. And the more we pursue them, the more we’ll recognize a potentially surprising yet undeniable fact: any framing that begins by opposing free speech to inclusivity strengthens rather than challenges existing privilege and shores up the structures that perpetuate it. Ask yourself this: Who is served when everyone believes that free speech and inclusivity inevitably conflict?

Contact Carol Quillen at caquillen@davidson.edu.

Sports

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Op-Ed: “Athletics Done the Right Way” SAM THOMAS ‘20 SENIOR SPORTS WRITER

T

here is no denying the importance of athletics on our campus. Not only do they give our small, liberal arts school visibility to the external world outside of the southeastern United States, but they provide an opportunity for our student-athletes to demonstrate their excellence. Davidson is a place where we pride ourselves on being humbly exceptional, and our student-athletes play that role perfectly.

I took both unofficial and official visits to Davidson as a high schooler. From those visits, a familiar line has and continues to echo through my mind. Davidson athletes are students like every other student. This was and still is incredibly important at a school in which we value personal integrity and have a student body composed of 20-25% studentathletes. We have heard the stories of how

Steph Curry and the 2008 men’s basketball team sat in the hotel lobby writing essays and finishing problem sets the night before their ultimate defeat to Kansas. Clearly, the scene is unlike any other team of that caliber.

With that said, the narrative of studentathletes fitting both the student and athlete role provides many challenges as Davidson continues to climb in the Atlantic-10. While it may be true that it is possible for studentathletes to fit the par excellence in the classroom and in competition, many sacrifices need to be made. For example, speaking from my own experience, I felt as though participating in extracurricular activities became difficult very quickly. I felt as though I was not experiencing being a student at Davidson in the same way as many of my peers.

To be clear, I am not trying to make a commentary as to whether the high standards that come with academics at a renowned small, liberal arts college paired with a high level of

competition needs to be adjusted in order to better suit one or the other. When I committed to Davidson to run cross country and track, I was very much aware of the stresses that I would face. I made the decision to engage in my experience as a student just as many choose to engage with Davidson as student-athletes.

I have an unbelievable amount of respect for those that choose the latter. It takes incredible mental fortitude and resilience in the face of the inescapable adversity from expectations that they will all face.

Instead, I am proposing a shift in the narrative. Student-athletes do not experience Davidson in the same way as every other student. Instead, we can look to what Athletic Director Chris Clunie ‘06 told me in an interview this past summer. He stressed the phrase: “Athletics done the right way.” That statement, both concise and powerful, is one that does not diminish the stresses and pressures that student-athletes at Davidson face in their

pursuit of excellence. If we push that as our mantra of the ethos amongst Davidson College student-athletes, coaches, and administrators, it would highlight where our community is strong and true to itself. At the same time, this parallels some of our neighbors who are not as true to their convictions.

I appreciate that Davidson has the humility that Ivy League schools do not. I appreciate that Davidson students are brilliant in unique ways that, in summation, form a beautiful community. I appreciate that our administration allows us to say what we believe and be critical. For all of these reasons, it seems counterproductive to push a narrative that forms a dichotomy dividing our community.

Instead, we can appreciate that our community is the one that takes the right path instead of the easy path. We can appreciate that we have values as a community. Our contribution to this Davidson community is greater than any individual achievement or accolade.

Wildcat’s Track and Field Season Update

T

AIDAN COPELAND ‘21 SPORTS WRITER

Weekly Sports Update

he men’s and women’s Track and Field teams posted strong results at both the Raleigh Relays and the Terrier Relays two weekends ago. The Women’s team is starting to gain momentum heading into the Charlotte Invitational this weekend.

The Raleigh Relays marked one of the team’s best performances to date. A new 4x400 record was set at 3:48.05 by the relay team of Katie Hines ‘20, Grace Loehr ‘21, Tori Long ‘19, and Bianca Nolde-Lopez ‘22. This was good enough for 8th place. The 4x800 relay team of Eleni Daughters ‘21, Audrey Grammel ‘21, Sophia Mills ‘19, and Claire Nieusma ‘19 had a strong performance, taking 3rd place with a time of 9:05.34. The relay team of Meghan Corso ‘22, Marquia Humphries ‘22, Hines, and Long also finished 3rd in the 4x100 relay race, registering an impressive time of 48.12 seconds. Juniors Paige McKinney ‘20 and Susannah Cate ‘20 had standout performances in the 5k, finishing in second and fourth place respectively.

The team’s dominant performance comes as no surprise; it was only a matter of time before the hard work paid off. Long commented on the team chemistry and drive shown in this year’s team: “This is the best batch we’ve had yet. We all have a really special bond with one another, and it shows on the [track]. We’ve been on a pretty strong path of growth.” Daughters had a similar sentiment with regard to team dynamics: “As great as last year was, these girls are a closer-knit team. We’ve created this incredible culture of support and care.” Long also had this to say about her personal growth as she nears the end of her last season running track at the collegiate level: “I’ve definitely matured over the last few seasons. I’ve developed more of a leadership mindset as I’ve gained more experience, not only

pushing myself, but encouraging others to do their best.” The women’s team will look to continue their strong season as the A-10 Conference Championship approaches (May 4).

The men’s team has been equally impressive lately. The 4x800 relay team of Raphael Oettl ‘22, Daniel Alvarez-Orlachia ‘21, Max Higgins ‘21 and Bryce Kalsu ‘22 had strong results, finishing with a time of 7:41.64, good enough for ninth place. The 4x1500 relay team of Dylan Carmack ‘19, and freshmen Oettl, Max Pearson ‘22, and Colin Ross broke a program record, stopping the clock at 15:58.66 and earning them eighth place.

In the Terrier Relays, Jonah Lane ‘22 finished eighth with an impressive time of 1:57.15. Nick Peeples ‘21 also had a strong performance in the 200-meter dash, placing 10th with a time of 22.39 seconds. Senior Sean Caveney ‘19 had an impressive time of 54.32 seconds in the 400-meter hurdles, resulting in eleventh overall. Last but certainly not least, junior James Davis ‘20 earned his first victory of the season, clearing 4.45-meters (14’7.25) in the pole vault.

With the Charlotte Invitational next weekend, the men’s track and field team will get another chance to showcase their abilities and prepare for the A-10 Outdoors Championship in the beginning of May. Alvarez-Orlachia weighed in on the importance of this meet: “The Charlotte Invitational is another great opportunity to see ourselves improve week after week and carry the momentum our team builds all the way to the Conference Championship meet.” Peeples had similar thoughts: “It has some great competition, and it is pretty close which is nice. Hopefully our team continues to perform well, considering the outdoor conference is coming up in a few weeks.” With the midway point of the outdoor season upon us, the men’s team is looking better than ever, as they continue their journey of growth and progress.

Top: Junior Katie Hines recieves the baton from Freshman Marquia Humphries during the 4x100m at the Charlotte 49er Classic.

Bottom: Bryce Kalsu ‘22 hands over to Daniel Alvarez ‘21 in the 4x400m at the Charlotte 49er Classic. Both raced in the 4x800m at Raleigh Relays.

Photos courtesy of Tim Cowie; DavidsonPhotos.com

Game of the Week: Tennis (W) This Sunday, the Wildcats take on George Washington in what will be their home finale for the 2019 season. The ‘Cats come into the match fresh off of a strong win on the road against Fordham. The team has fought hard this season and boasts a 12-9 record. George Washington has also had a solid season, holding a 9-8 overall record. The Colonials will arrive at Stowe Tennis courts hungry for a victory after suffering a defeat against VCU. The match will begin at 10:00 am. Stop by to watch the team compete, and support the seniors in their final match. Hopefully the team will be able to finish their season strong with a triumphant victory. Let’s go Wildcats!

Wildcat Standings: Baseball Team VCU Dayton Rhode Island Fordham Davidson Saint Joseph’s Richmond George Washington

A-10 Record

8-1 7-2 7-2 6-3 4-2 5-4 3-3 4-5

Overall Record

25-7 17-13-1 14-14 20-12 14-12 12-17 16-13-1 18-13

Arts and Culture

6

Dance at Davidson Below are two reflections on the role and impact of dance, one from the perspective of a student and another from a professor. Both Ted Yoo’s description of his experience and Eliza Patterson’s interview with Dr. Alison Bory speak to the impor-

tance of movement in their time at Davidson.

If, as Dr. Bory asserts in her interview, Davidson is a microcosm for the dynamics of the broader world, then these pieces frame dance as something which creates a sense of place, pur-

pose, and community in not just the lives of these individuals, but in a global sense as well.

- Alyssa Tirrell ‘22, Arts and Culture Editor

Q&A A Multi-Space Medium Can you tell me a little bit about yourself and your background in dance?

“Dance for me was an extracurricular activity for most of my life. It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized that I could also be a maker. Dance wasn’t just about training my body in particular ways, but about what the interests I had were.

I conceived of myself in a different way

Dr. Alison Bory in performance. Photo by Andy Moon.

and I had a different relationship to the form.

Eventually, I found that I was really interested in thinking about what dance does in the world. That affected my making and allowed for new possibilities.”

Why did you choose to teach at Davidson versus at a conservatory setting or a school with a larger dance program?

“When I came to Davidson there was no dance program. That was both daunting and exciting. It was appealing to create a program that would satisfy my belief system.

There are a lot of dance programs across the country, who are far bigger than ours, but are antiquated in some of their thinking. For example, everybody has to take ballet as the formal structure upon which we believe everything else is based, which is actually a really white supremacist notion.

Ballet is amazing, but it’s not the basis of every style. So, to come to Davidson at a time when the institution was also rethinking what was possible was exciting.”

What do you think the arts offer to Davidson students? Why are they important to have on campus?

“I would take that on as a bigger question of why are they important in the world. I would hope that Davidson is a place for us to reckon with the issues that are present in the world.

It’s a place for us to experiment with, to be in, and bump up against those issues.

For me, that turns into the question of what can I learn about my areas of interest through my body, because my body is my medium.

Within performance, I can’t guarantee that

by Eliza Patterson ‘22 anybody is going to take something specific or fixed from my performance.

But it has the possibility to have multiple perspectives at once and asks people to question themselves. There are lots of disciplines that talk about bodies, but there’s a difference between talking about your body and experiencing your body.”

Does dance take this role on Davidson’s campus?

“I hope so! This is where dance becomes amazing and yet very complicated. Dance lives in a lot of spaces. Performance structures are very particular, sticky beasts that require a particular commitment to training or to putting something together. However, there is also beauty in having an audience clap for you.

Dance also lives in parties down the hill.

So here you see that dance can be this really heady, complex thing, but also, sometimes being sweaty and allowing yourself that sense of abandon is also intensely needed.

Depending on which entity or institution may be guiding dance, changes our experience around it and informs our knowledge in different ways. It’s okay for all of these spaces to exist.”

How do you explain to your colleagues, especially those that are unfamiliar with dance, that it is an academic discipline and requires you to use both your brain and your body?

“First, encourage them to come take a class.

I get a lot of, from students and faculty, ‘Well, I just don’t really understand dance’ or ‘I don’t know enough to approach it.’ I get that, be-

Reflection Creating and Finding Place

O

ne of my favorite pieces of choreography is Franklin Yu’s rendition of “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room”

by John Mayer. Yes, I said John Mayer and hip-hop dance in the same sentence. That shouldn’t make sense, but neither should the way that Franklin Yu’s movements make me listen to the song differently.

Musicality, how well movements match sounds, is an important piece of an urban style of dancing. This style, which encompasses hip-hop, jazz, breaking and many others, truly visualizes a song in a manner that can change how someone listens to the music.

In the Davidson community, my urban dance team, BLU, and I try to break whatever lines separate dance styles in an effort to create something different. When I first came to Davidson, the closest thing to an urban dance space was a hip-hop tech class with about six students in it.

We would perform in Dance Ensemble, go our separate ways, and maybe come back together the following semester. I wanted a space where I could improve upon my choreographing skills and work with a consistent team.

I created BLU and it’s been my primary extracurricular since.

I spend about eight hours a week both with my team and thinking of choreographies. Dancing is the time I can be creative, and it’s a good break from the time I spend working on physics.

Plus, no matter how bad of a day I’ve had, my thirteen teammates always manage to make me smile. I still need to improve a lot, but the challenges of seeking to become a better dancer has led me to find great friends and teachers around the world.

The urban dance community is probably one of the friendliest out there and I’ve been to famous locations with well-known teachers and they’re more than willing to help you learn after class, which brings me back to Franklin Yu. I took his class over spring break and everyone struggled to master his piece. Despite this, he was very down-to-earth and was glad to talk about his piece with me afterwards, which was a pleasant surprise.

Through Davidson, I learned how to approach professors and create your own space, which are two invaluable assets that

have helped me seek dance teachers and build my team here to share and grow my ideas with. There are great dancers on campus, and our school’s collaborative nature has made my dance experience through Dance Ensemble and BLU my favorite part about college.

But dance is just one part of the art community at Davidson.

This past weekend, I saw a friend of mine perform in “The Mystery of Edwin Drood” and he was amazing, and I was

Illustration by Richard Farrell ‘22.

cause on some level your exposure is limited, although actually I think most people have more exposure to dance than they realize.

We have a disposition towards saying ‘I don’t get it.’ I just ask people to remain open-minded and embrace whatever it is they may take from dance.”

Is there anything important that students should be doing in order to integrate dance more deeply on this campus?

“I think it is a willingness to experiment.

One of the things that dance asks is that we develop practices over time, which means we won’t be good at something the first time we try it.

I think that is really hard for Davidson students, to make a huge generalization. Additionally, dancers need to be exploring how they can put themselves in a space that provokes deep thought and pushes themselves and their art one step further.”

Any final thoughts?

“I always tell prospective students that on one hand, this is a young and small department, and on the other hand, I’m here because students wanted someone to be here. With that, dance has been on this campus in various forms for much longer than me.”

Alison Bory is the Dance Department Chair and an assistant professor of Dance. She can be reached for comment at albory@davidson. edu.

Eliza Patterson ‘22, is an undeclared major from San Francisco, CA. She can be reached for comment at elpatterson@davidson.edu

by Ted Yoo ‘20 overwhelmed with happiness that he found his place. I believe that arts have the capacity to give people a home, as long as it remains open to all. So, whether you’ve found your thing or don’t know what that is, keep seeking and you’ll never know who will meet or where you’ll end up.

Ted Yoo ‘20 is a Physics Major from Glenford, NY. He can be reached for comment at teyoo@davidson.edu.

Et Cetera

7

Letter To The Editor: Recycling the Composting Narrative DR. YANCY FOUCHE DIRECTOR OF SUSTAINABILITY

T

hanks to The Davidsonian for ongoing coverage of important sustainability issues, on campus and in our community.

This article is offered as a response to Betsy Sugar ‘21’s recent article, “Composting at Davis Café: It’s Garbage.” The article prompted an important conversation among stakeholders involved with campus compost and a weighing of the collective institutional investment vs. benefit from food waste collection originating at various campus dining locations.

Food waste is a global, systems problem.

The best solutions aim to reduce waste along the production and distribution network, then at the level of individual retailers and consumers. Excess food is best redistributed for consumption by humans, or when not feasible, by animals. Finally, compost systems offer a last alternative to keep food waste out of landfills while also improving soil fertility. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s Food Waste Hierarchy illustrates this series of approaches.

Yet, it is also important to contextualize this problem in light of the most urgent threat to humanity, climate change. Those who follow climate science, policy, and activism (and that should be each of us!) know that the latest report from the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) confirms that the world has 12 years to drastically alter our greenhouse gas-related practices to avoid catastrophic increase of average global temperatures above 1.5 degrees Celsius. This unthinkable data point calls each of us to be bold, strategic, unrelenting, and collaborative in unprecedented ways.

On our campus, internal data show that our compost program does not do much to reduce our campus’ contributions to climate change.

The total calculated greenhouse gas footprint for FY2018 was 26,256 mTCO2e, resulting primarily from campus electricity usage, heating and cooling systems, campus vehicles, and travel related to study abroad and professional, athletic, and academic engagements. Because our campus compost prevents additional methane emissions produced by food waste in landfills, this diverted food waste represents a carbon offset in our greenhouse gas analysis.

The TOTAL compost offset for FY2018 was 5 mTCO2e or 0.02% of our total footprint. And within that total impact, post-consumer food waste from Union Café represented only 9% by weight of all waste composted on campus in Spring 2018, when the program was in full operation. By comparison, Commons food waste proportion of total weight was 51% and 18% for post-consumer (scraped from plates) and pre-consumer (scraps from cooking prep), respectively. 22% of food waste by weight derived from the Davis Café pre-consumer stream. Annual reports and details about Davidson’s climate goals and performance are available online at www.secondnature.org.

The Irwin Brawley campus compost system, established in 2009, is one of only a handful of such systems that runs successfully on college campuses. The system was originally developed with funding from The Duke Endowment but has endured over time because of continued financial investment, hard work, creative thinking, and shared commitment by many constituents across campus: namely, staff in Physical Plant, Dining Services, Campus Grounds, and the Sustainability Office.

Central to its success are Assistant Director of Grounds Charles Jolly and the ten student employees who have the unglamorous task of physically handling huge trash cans full of “slop” remaining from meals eaten across campus. They conduct this highly physical work every weekday through the academic year, in rain and shine, hot and cold temperatures. Recently, Jonathan Lee ‘18, Neesha Basnyat ’18, and Liam Stiefel ’20 deserve credit for coordinating among these parties and ensuring a high-quality process.

Managing a campus compost system requires precise and coordinated planning and execution. Because the finished product is bound for our campus landscape, the operation requires state permitting and lab testing to ensure that compost application to grounds does not contribute to runoff of E. coli and other pathogens into waterways. Each location and waste stream must be managed according to its unique characteristics. Requisite steps include sorting compostable from non-compostable waste, processing food waste through a pulper to drain liquid and reduce particle size, maintaining refrigerated storage, and timing delivery for quick processing on-site.

In her article, Sugar rightly pointed out that the bins in Union advertising the option to compost post-consumer food scraps are misleading. They represent repeated past efforts to capture this waste stream. These efforts have been fraught with challenges particular to the infrastructure, staff workflow, and high percentage of non-compostable waste received from Davis Café bins. Physically moving and cold-storing the high volume of daily waste from these bins is daunting. Student employees have then found that the majority of “compost” volume from this site is actually non-compostable, requiring substantive time and mess to hand-sort plastic bags full of spilled Cokes and plasticware. It seems that when diners are paying per item, they tend to eat what they buy rather than throw it away!

In light of the significant collective time and work related to Davis Café post-consumer compost stream relative to its impact as a share of campus total compost and climate efforts, we will discontinue further attempts to capture this food waste stream. I made this decision after consulting with numerous compost stakeholders. I agree with Sugar’s point that reaching this decision means we should and will replace the waste bins in Union so they no longer offer a compost option. My additional hope is that making this decision enables the

(Top) President Carol Quillen and Liam Stiefel ‘20 work together to unload food waste from a(Bottom) compost bin. Photo by Chris Record, College Communications many professional and student staff who have faced uncertainty and challenges around this waste stream to redirect that time to advancing sustainability in other ways that stand to offer greater impact.

Campus will continue to compost the other three large food waste streams mentioned above (Commons pre- and post-consumer, Davis Café pre-consumer waste). I am also happy to report that Patterson Court Council’s Sustainability Representatives have reinvigorated their efforts to reduce and compost food waste out of PCC dining programs. The entire compost team is working closely with representatives from Rusk and Fiji to design a process that will be piloted this semester. If successful, expansion to other houses is an option in the future as they have interest.

On a related note, contamination of the recycling stream across campus has increased recently. This fact threatens the viability of recycling on campus for everyone. Please be very

Day 1

mindful to put only clean, clearly recyclable items in these bins. Plastic bottles and aluminum or steel cans should be emptied of liquids.

Solo-type plastic cups are not able to be processed by our local facility; Sean Caveney ‘19 has implemented a program to collect and recycle these items “down the hill.” Plastic bags and films can NEVER be recycled in mixeduse recycling containers; these should be taken to the special plastic bag recycling area on the Post Office level of Union to the left of the doors leading to the atrium. Of course, as with food waste, reducing initial consumption of goods and using reusable bags and containers is always a good choice.

Thanks to each of you for doing all you can to support sustainability at Davidson – through your involvement in relevant programs and organizations, individual actions, academic and service experiences, dialogue, and attention and action on relevant local, state and federal policy.

Day 5

Day 3

Jacina Hollins-Borges ‘21

outfit brings me a little bit of joy at the start of my day.

Day 2

Day 4

Photos by Olivia Forrester ‘22

I’d say that about half of my clothes are thrifted at this point, which works out for me perfectly because I don’t have a specific style. I draw inspiration from a lot of places, and I’m really vibing with this late-20th-century revival era we have going on right now -- thrift stores are overflowing with those kinds of pieces. Now that I’m intentional with my closet, getting dressed has become kind of a treat for me every morning. Especially when I know I have a long day ahead of me, liking my

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Pink Bandana-Wearing Prospee Decides Davidson After Receiving Great Attention from Campus Zombies Page 12

April 10, 2019

Campus Debates Proper Spelling of Prospie[e] [y?] [q?]

Page Community

Frat Bros Show Up Uninvited at Local Home, Insist on Picking Weeds for 10 Hours to Fulfill Service Requirement Page 9

The Nuggets Issue

“$15 isn’t even that much at Nummit,” Declares Student Who Gave Up on Research Survey Halfway Through Page 15

Area Man Takes Horse to Old Statesville Road (sorry) Page Billy Ray

Loyalties Questioned As Hardee’s CEO Seen Pocketing Leftover Chick-fil-A Nuggets After YAF Event

Above: EJ, you ignonoramous. You really stepped it in this time. We’re dissapointed in you (as always). Who have you become?

TurboTax® Expands Services, Enters Course Selection Market with Proprietary TurboTreeTM Software MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA –– This tax season, the nation’s most widely-used online filing service has expanded its typical offerings. In a press release published last Wednesday, TurboTax® announced its new TurboTreeTM package, which is tailored directly to the needs of students at Davidson.

Each year, millions of Americans take advantage of the streamlined services provided by TurboTax, which allows users to “easily file federal and state income tax returns with 100% accuracy,” according to the company’s website. For the ever-busy students at Davidson College, TurboTax provides a convenient, time-saving means of filing taxes owed from summer jobs and internships. The efficient nature of the service is especially crucial for students during the month of April, as they are faced with a far more complex and daunting filing effort––Webtree.

Webtree, the infamous system that Davidson College uses for course selection, has been historically viewed by students as difficult to navigate, particularly for underclassmen. Each spring during the first week of April, students across campus can be seen scrambling as they try to input their class preferences into the online platform’s 90s-era interface.

Observing a profitable opportunity in Davidson’s course selection market, TurboTax unveiled its proprietary TurboTreeTM technology last Wednesday. The software, which debuted just in time for those students who had procrastinated on their Webtree selections until just two days before the deadline, promised to provide students with a “succinct, speedy, and surefire alternative to traditional manual selection.” Over two hundred students reportedly took advantage of the package, and nearly all spoke favorably of its effectiveness.

Remarked Susanna Moretti ‘22, “This is honestly SUCH a lifesaver. I totally messed up my Webtree first semester and ended up in a 300-level Bio class and a Russian seminar.

This time all I had to do was select the classes I wanted on TurboTree’s filtered drop-down menu and they took care of the actual Webtree part of it. So amazing.”

TurboTax CEO Jim Turbonius told The Yowl that he was thrilled with the initial implementation of the service at Davidson. “We’re glad to see so many students taking advantage of the package,” commented Turbonius. “We hope to continue to improve TurboTreeTM in future semesters.”

900 ROOM –– Shockwaves reverberated across the American fast-food industry on Monday as Anthony Popper, former CEO of the middling restaurant chain Hardee’s, was seen shoveling large quantities of leftover Chick-fil-A nuggets into his inner suit jacket pockets following a speaking engagement hosted by the Davidson College chapter of Young Americans for Freedom.

The event, titled “Socialism’s Empty Promise and the Case for Moral Capitalism,” was publicized to students via social media over the past week, with the promise of free Chick-fil-A included as an added incentive. While it is common for student groups to offer free Chick-fil-A in order to attract their classmates to various campus events, this particular instance featured an obvious dissonance ,given the speaker’s former status as chief executive of a rival fast-food brand.

Though the catering choice seemed puzzling to some, Mr. Popper appeared more than happy to indulge in the unconsumed nuggets after the event’s conclusion. Popper was briefly questioned by a Yowl correspondent as he surreptitiously slipped from the 900 Room in an attempt to conceal the bulk of chicken nuggets on his person. Said the frazzled former Hardee’s CEO, “Alright, look, I can explain. I mean, ugh, can you blame me? These things are delicious! Okay, I know how this looks, but this isn’t disloyal, alright? Brand loyalty is, um, irrational consumer behavior anyways, especially in a competitive industry like fast-food where its all essentially, uh, standardized product. Yeah! Yeah, that’s it. There you have it, I’ve done nothing wrong!”

By all accounts, Popper’s logic checks out. A five-piece order of hand-breaded chicken tenders from Hardee’s costs $5.79, while a comparable four-piece Chick-n-strips order from Chick-fil-A costs $4.39. On a per-nugget cost basis, Chick-fil-A offers the consumer the best value at $1.09, marginally below the Hardee’s price of $1.16. As Popper communicated to The Yowl over email, it would have therefore been an affront to capitalism if Hardee’s had been offered at the event. “Besides,” Popper wrote, “they say there’s no such thing as a free lunch, but nobody ever said anything about a free late-night snack, or anything about free all-breast meat chicken, seasoned to perfection and pressure cooked in 100% refined peanut oil, for that matter.”

While Popper’s covert nugget-hoarding efforts may be justified by holding loyalty to basic economic rationale in higher regard than loyalty to a specific brand, sources tell The Yowl that members current Hardee’s leadership were none too pleased with the incident, which some are referring to as Nugget-Gate.

At press time, Hardee’s Wikipedia page, which already includes three references to “controversy” in its table of contents, was undergoing additional edits to reflect the most recent high-profile faux pas.

Self-Absorbed Sophomore Exhibits Symptoms of Finals Week Martyr Complex Three Weeks Early E.H. LITTLE LIBRARY –– On Saturday, April 6th at 4:15 PM, Kelly Lance ‘21 was found by her friends at the first round table on the entry level of E.H. Little Library. When Lance’s friends discovered her, they were too late. Kelly Lance has been officially diagnosed as the first victim of Finals Week Martyr Complex (Level S19).

Maria Cove ‘21, a friend of Lance, shared some of the events that occurred the night before. “She was totally fine the night before.

We went out, she was celebrating the completion of a group project and didn’t have a care in the world. But I remember she left early that night. I assumed she had left with her onagain-off-again boyfriend.” But something much worse had happened to Kelly that night.

After an extensive investigation, The Yowl

The

Yowl

found CatCard records revealing that Lance swiped into the library at 12:34 A.M. The Yowl reached out to another friend of Lance, Catherine Bryan ‘21. Bryan was able to elaborate on the details of Lance’s condition. “We found her asleep at the table. Along with her body was her MacBook Pro, six different types of highlighters, all four of her binders, and multiple candy wrappers.”

When awoken by friends, Kelly sprung up immediately and exclaimed, “Ohhhh myyyy godddd, you guys would NOT believe the work that I have to do this week, and the weeks after that. I have FOUR finals to take, and two essays to turn in and another group project to complete. I mean can you guys believe that? I straight-up must have the hardest schedule at this school!”

WRITERS Hemmingway Thoreau Foster Wallace J.K. Rowling Twitter J.K. Rowling

QUOTE OF THE WEEK “It’s a formality to have a semi good time with THE BEST FAM in this darty szn when ‘Cats are wild.”

–– Davidson Bot

Bryan commented to The Yowl “I just stood there in shock. It was the highlighters that gave it away, honestly. Kelly ONLY underlines, usually with the same pen that she’s writing with. She had full-blown Finals Week Martyr Complex (FWMC) and there wasn’t anything we could do to save her.”

“We found her asleep at the table. Along with her body was her MacBook Pro, six different types of higlighters, all four of her binders, and multiple candy wrappers.”

“We tried to tell her that everyone on this campus has the same amount of work that she had just listed out. But it did no good. She insisted that no one knew the kind of pressure she was under! Finals isn’t even for another month, like does she know that?,” Cove expressed to The Yowl.

The Yowl’s thoughts and prayers go out to the friends of Kelly Lance. If you are concerned about a fellow loved one having an FWMC, the most common symptom is the use of the phrase “I literally spent over nine hours in the library.” Those suffering from FWMC typically spend 65% of their library time online shopping, so pay special attention to any friend sporting new outfits over the next couple of weeks.

3 Students Who Decided Davidson This Weekend

Brenda Brendaowitz - This HS senior from Connecticut decided on Davidson because it’s like an Ivy League - but in the south!

Marky Mark Commons - A total dude-bro legacy from North Carolina, his decision was actually made for him four generations ago.

Sally “Sunflower” Smith - Sally personally contacted The Davidsonian to tell us how much she LOVES the Davidson community and she has NEVER felt more welcomed anywhere else, like EVER.

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian. Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth.