The Daily Illini: Dating Guide 2017

THE DAILY ILLINI THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2017

Thursday, February 9, 2017

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Is your fling becoming something more? or hesitant to introduce you to their friends.

Meeting their friends can mean that your fling really does like you and wants you to feel a part of the friend group.

JESSICA POTEMPA Contributing writer

T

he typical college lifestyle can make dating such a perplexing process for students.

Balancing late nights at the library as well as managing a new relationship can seem impossible. As Valentine’s Day quickly approaches, the seasonal feelings attached to this holiday might confuse your emotions even more. It can become very tricky to determine the seriousness of your fling.

To avoid this emotional stress, here are a few tips to determine if your fling is becoming something more.

Does your fling like to hang out in settings other than bars?

If your fling consists of only hanging out in settings like a bar or party, you are most likely not on the relationship track. A fling will start to transition into something more once you hang out in daytime settings. If your fling is asking you out to lunch, the movies or even just a study date at the library, your relationship might be becoming something more.

Has your fling introduced you to his/her friends?

Meeting your fling’s friends is a huge step in the right direction. It’s always a good sign if your fling is not embarrassed

Does your fling ask you on dates?

Regardless of how many times a night your fling is texting you, they still need to be showing you off in public. Going out on dates together is the perfect telltale sign to see how much they like you. If your fling is constantly asking you out, it shows that they truly enjoy your company and want to show off how special you are to them.

Is your fling interested in learning about your personal life?

Flings often consist of a lot of small talk.

Having more personal conversations about family or other aspects of your life can help in measuring the seriousness of your relationship. If your conversations have more depth than typical small talk, then your fling is probably on its way to becoming an official relationship. Is your fling open about his or her feelings for you? The most important tip of all in determining if your fling is becoming something more can be how vulnerable you are with each other.

Openly talking about your feelings for each other is the easiest way to know if you are ready to take your relationship to the next level. If you’re honest with each other from the start of your fling, great things are bound to come from it.

Jessica is a sophomore in Media. supplements@dailyillini.com

THE DAILY ILLINI FILE PHOTO

Students gather at Joe’s Brewery. Jessica Potempa says that if you hang out with your fling at places other than bars, you may be on track for a relationship.

Five best date locations in Champaign-Urbana MADELINE GALASSI Supplements editor

C

hampaign-Urbana is a hot spot for college life, so finding a place for a romantic date night that doesn’t involve bars or fast food can be a challenge. Whether you’ve been together for years, or you aren’t quite sure if you’re together at all, there’s a place in town sure to please all of your dating needs.

For a girls night:

Getting together with the girls can be just as fulfilling as going out with a significant other. A great choice for a girls night is Buffalo Wild Wings (907 W. Marketview Drive) Although it could be a messy choice for a first date, Buffalo Wild Wings is a perfect spot for

a carefree night with friends.

For a first date:

A first date always brings nerves, so not needing to stress about the date location can be a huge help. A great choice for this is Big Grove Tavern (1 E. Main St., Champaign.) Its atmosphere, complete with a ceiling full of twinkling string-lights and a unique menu, is a romantic choice for a date to impress.

For the long-time couple:

For a couple that has been together for years, it’s easy to let date nights get mundane and boring. A perfect spot for a nice night out is the classic Papa Del’s (1201 S. Neil St.). Its signature deep dish is a perfect beginning to a relaxed night of Netflix with a long-time sweetheart.

For the kind-of couple

Finding a date can be dreadful for two people who don’t know if they’re together

yet, and aren’t sure if it’s too soon to go on a full-on date. A great option for this situation is a quick, casual stop at Cream & Flutter (114 N. Walnut St.) Stopping in for a delicious and inexpensive cupcake is a perfect option, and lets each other know you’re interested in pursuing the relationship further.

For a night out alone:

There’s no shame in taking a night to relax and treat yourself. What’s better than going to see a movie? Carmike 13 (910 Meijer Drive) is a great option.

There will be no arguing about what to see, and you don’t need to share any of your popcorn.

For a bustling college town, there are plenty of options for a night out, no matter who you’re spending it with.

Madeline is a junior in Media mgalass2@dailyillini.com

Thursday, February 9, 2017

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Ways to escape the worst date HOLIDAY TANG Supplements writer

Dates: They can be fun, but unfortunately, a lot of times they can leave you wanting to run.

Everyone is used to coming home from a date and having friends crowd around and ask, “How did it go?”

Anyone can have a bad date for a variety of reasons: strange sense of humor, awkward silence, lack of common interests or just simply being in a bad mood.

In preparation for any one of these scenarios, everyone needs a solid escape plan under his or her belt. Here are a few to keep in mind:

Have a friend call you:

This is one of the most common and useful ways to get out of a bad date. Answering a call and pretending there was an emergency leaves no time to give an explanation and is a foolproof way to get you out of there.

Fake sick:

Fake sick and demonstrate some sudden negative physical conditions based on your own preference. You need to be a good actor, and if you’re going to try this, commit to it.

The bathroom dash:

This one is also extremely effective, but a little more mean. Tell your date that you have to go to the bathroom, and simply never return.

Long distance: good, bad or both?

HARRISON LINDHOLM

Have a demanding schedule:

Pretend something with work or school suddenly came up and that you have to leave immediately to take care of it. From a forgotten assignment to getting called in to your job, this can be a completely valid excuse.

Act out:

If your date is going horribly and you don’t have anywhere you’d rather be, have some fun with it! Act quirky and strange and see if you can get the other person to end the date first.

Be honest:

Tried and true, being honest with your date could possibly be the best way out of it.

Telling them that you aren’t feeling it and that there’s no use in continuing the night can prevent both of you from wasting your time. supplements@dailyillini.com

Supplements writer

L

ong-distance relationships are known to be difficult. Like all relationships, long-distance relationships demand work. The more work you put into your relationship the more you can get out of it. There are many difficulties in any relationship, but long-distance relationships are unique.

When you think of a long-distance dating relationship, you may only think of the negatives. There are a lot of downsides to focusing on someone who is not around you. Every time you think about them you are reminded of the unfortunate distance between you. A longing is always present in your heart and mind.

However, a long time away from your paramour makes your moments together all the more sweet. When you make the trek, whether it be by plane, train or automobile, you get the satisfaction of finally

seeing your significant other.

As in any relationship, communication is key. Nowadays, maintaining a longdistance relationship is easier than ever before thanks to advances in technology. Society is now beyond the age of letters and is into the age of instant messaging and video chat. Even if you can’t spend time in person, you can still talk on the phone or video chat. There is so much that communicating on the phone brings to your relationship. When the mundane activities of your daily life become repetitive, it can be exciting to finally talk to your significant other at the end of the day.

Valentine’s Day has always been a day for couples, a day to take your significant other out and to show him or her how much you really care about them.

Although it’s still impossible to take your other out when you are far away, you can still show them you care.

To show your great affection for your loved one, it is essential for you to do something thoughtful. Some ideas include sending flowers or a letter. I personally believe creating a care package for

them is the most exciting thing they could receive from you. Show how well you know them by making a package full of trinkets and other things that remind you of them.

Surely, they will feel the love from you when they open up a package and see all the wonderful things you have put together for them.

Long-distance relationships are hard, but great things are worth fighting for, no matter how bumpy the road may be. They aren’t as hard as people make them out to be, especially when the one you’re with is worth it. There is a rock song by Stephen Stills that was released in 1970 titled “Love the One You’re With.” The hook of the tune goes, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

The ethos of this song is to give up on the one who is away, since “there’s a girl right next to you, just waiting, for something to do.” I wholeheartedly disagree with the song. I say wait for the one you love, for they are well worth the wait.

Harrison is a sophomore in ACES. hlindho2@dailyillini.com

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The Daily Illini saves your date Editor’s note: The Daily Illini received numerous entries for its “worst date” contest. The following story was selected by the editorial staff. For more stories, visit dailyillini.com.

“My worst date ever was during my junior year of high school. I was dating this boy, who I will call Steve (which isn’t his real name). One night Steve invited me over for dinner at his house with his family. I was surprised, seeing as I had never met his family, and cautiously accepted his invitation. When I arrived at his house (in a tank top and red mini skirt), I noticed all of his family was wearing black and had frowns on their faces.

Turns out the family dog just died and they were having a meal in his honor. I, despite feeling incredibly uncomfortable due to my outfit, stayed for dinner — steak and pinto beans, Potato’s (Potato was the dog’s name) favorite. During the dinner, no one spoke. The only noises heard were sniffles and muffled sobs from Steve and his mother. But that wasn’t the weirdest part. The weirdest part was that Steve’s mom made a plate for Potato, and set it in on the floor in front of the urn that carried his ashes. It was definitely the most uncomfortable, awkward date of my life. RIP Potato.”

Thursday, February 9, 2017

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Valentine’s Day for same-sex couples

BY JILLIAN KAEHLER SUPPLEMENTS WRITER

In 2008, greeting card megastore Hallmark first released cards tailored to gay and lesbian couples.

This was at a time when only two states in America recognized gay marriage.

Over the past nine years, huge strides have been made in the fight for marriage equality and overall LGBTQ rights; however, when it comes to Valentine’s Day, there are still gaps left to be filled.

Stephanie Brown is a University doctoral candidate and an instructor for MACS 356, “Sex and Gender in Popular Media.”

“Valentine’s Day leaves out any kind of love that doesn’t fit into the traditional monogamist, heteronormative ideal of romantic love,” Brown said.

This notion of exclusivity is evident in advertisements for companies such as Jared: the Galleria of Jewelry, with the slogan, “He went to Jared.” This automatically assumes the man is responsible for gift-giving to a woman with the pronoun

“he.”

Brown explained that companies generally tailor their Valentine’s Day products exclusively to heterosexual couples.

“The products created for Valentine’s Day are always very gendered, leaving out the range of gender identities, and offering a very prescriptive way that we’re supposed to perform our gender identities,” she said.

Andrew Geiser, junior in LAS, agrees with Brown, saying that he and his boyfriend would “never particularly want flowers,” a stereotypical Valentine’s Day symbol.

“Obviously, Valentine’s Day is dictated by ideas of masculinity and femininity, but when two cisgender men celebrate Valentine’s Day, it feels a bit out of place,” Geiser said.

“I think there’s a hierarchy of gender roles at play that doesn’t translate into a same-sex relationship.”

“To be honest, I’ll probably buy him a Chipotle e-gift card and that will make his week.” Geiser added.

Acknowledgment of gay couples in regards to Valentine’s Day has been on the rise since 2015, specifical-

ly with the Hallmark ad campaigns featuring gay and lesbian couples on its commercials. The commercials have all gone viral, sparking their fair share of controversy with seemingly progressive advertisements.

“We still generally only see couples. This leaves no room for polyamorous couples, for instance, or any kind of non-traditional love,” Brown said. “The implied dominance of the masculine over the feminine in a straight relationship is a driving force in the modern conception of Valentine’s Day, and that notion is intrinsically heteronormative.”

Mythri Anumula, junior in Engineering, explained her feelings toward the lack of representation of same-sex couples for a holiday that is meant to celebrate love.

“It is a holiday to celebrate the ones you love, and needs to be marketed towards all kinds of people — no matter who you are,” she said.

Anumula summed up her feelings with one short statement: “Love is love.”

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Thursday, February 9, 2017

University students give their definition of “hooking up” “OMG did you guys hook up?” “We only hooked up, nothing serious.” “I heard they’re hooking up, is that true?”

But what does that mean? With all this talk that students hear, give or take at least once a day, does anybody truly know the defi nition of hooking up?

Merriam-Webster says hooking up is “to become associated especially in a working, social, or sexual relationship.”

The Cambridge Dictionary’s defi nition is “to meet with someone, or begin a relationship, especially for a particular purpose.”

Urban Dictionary describes it as “an incredibly ambiguous phrase that drives me absolutely insane when people use it.” Generally, it can mean anything, including making out, third base and even going all the way.

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“Kissing and making out.”

— Chiqui Laird, freshman, LAS

“You passionately hug for an extended period of time.”

“Any kind of sexual encounter.”

— Matthew Moorehouse, junior, Engineering

— Sophie Gough, junior, LAS

“Any sexual encounter with a person who you are attracted to. It can range from a light kiss on the lips to doing the dirty deed.”

— Robert Planek, junior, LAS

“When a chick fondles you.”

“It means more than kissing.”

— Mike Weinstein, senior, LAS

— Amy Kwon, sophomore, Business

What does hooking up mean to you?

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Seven tips to help you prep for your date MADELINE GALASSI Supplements editor

prepare for the amount of time it will take you to get there.

3. Think of conversation starters

ll dates have one thing in common: They can cause a lot of stress.

Whether you’re going on your first or 10th date with someone, going into it can be nerve-wracking, and it’s easy to put a lot of pressure on yourself.

Following these five steps will help you stress less and have a great time.

Awkward silences and lack of conversation can happen even between couples that have been together for years. Catch up on current events and think of potential conversations you can start if the conversation stops flowing.

Think outside the realm of the cliché date questions. Have them already up your sleeve and bring them up casually when things start to go south.

1. Dress to impress

4. Exercise

A

Have your outfit picked out beforehand, and make sure it’s something that you feel your best in.

When you look good, you feel good, and dressing well can help you feel more confident. Having it picked out beforehand will be a huge help by helping you prevent any last-minute chaos that might ensue.

2. Plan ahead

If you’re going to a restaurant you’ve never been to or somewhere you know might take a while to drive to, plan ahead. Know where you’re going, and

Exercising the day of a date and having your body fueled with endorphins can help you feel your best. Get a good night’s sleep, exercise and do the things that you know make you feel good. For example, if you’re a runner, a nice jog the day of your date can help pump you up.

5. Clean yourself up

This may seem obvious, but taking a shower, shaving and feeling clean can also help you go into a date with great self-esteem. There’s no better time to do a face mask, get a manicure and pamper

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yourself than the day of a date. It can also help to use your favorite perfume or cologne.

6. Think positively

If you go into a date with a bad attitude, the chances of it working out — no matter how compatible you actually are — will be slim. Listen to music while you’re getting ready to get excited, and don’t allow yourself to think about the

ELLIE HAHN THE DAILY ILLINI

“what ifs” of the outcome of your date.

7. Be yourself

This may be the most important part of going on any date. If you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, it’s probably a sign that who you’re out with isn’t meant for you. Smile, and just be yourself.

Madeline in a junior in Media mgalass2@dailyillini.com

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Planning a casual dining hall date NORA HALLERAN Supplements writer

A

re you looking for a reasonably priced, romantic Valentine’s Day destination? A dining hall could be the perfect place for you.

It's a relaxed, comfortable and casual place to grab a meal with a college crush.

Some dining halls even have special menus for the day. Bromley Hall is celebrating Valentine’s Day by allowing each resident to bring a guest to dinner to enjoy a meal.

In many other dining halls, you are able to swipe someone in to join you for dinner as well. The Illinois Street Residence dining hall is serving red velvet cake rolls for dessert, which is perfect for the occasion! And Pennsylvannia Avenue Residence late night is always a great way to go. Here are some steps to have a fantastic dining hall date:

Ask them

The bolder, the better. Ask the kid who sits next to you in your massive lecture in Foellinger if they want to grab some food. If he or she says no? Shake it off, there are thousands of other possible dates on campus.

Pick the time and dining hall

Everyone is very busy with different schedules, so it’s important to coordinate a time that works for everyone. You won’t want to be rushing in between classes or meetings, so dinner will probably work best! Choose a dining hall that has a menu that appeals to

the both of you. Most dining halls on campus have a Twitter account or a website that shares its menus, and the University dining halls all have their menus posted on the app UIDining.

Dress appropriately

This, is in fact, a date in the dining hall, so there’s no need to bust out your finest attire. But don’t show up looking like a scrub either. Jeans and a top will suffice.

Choose the right table

Find a table where you can actually talk.

The dining halls can often get loud and overwhelming, so pick a seat near the window where you can hear and enjoy your conversation.

Act like a gentleman; Act like a lady

We weren’t raised in barns — or maybe some of us were; regardless, use your best table manners and be polite. Offer to carry the plates or clear the table after. Ask questions about how your date’s day was and actually listen to his or her response. Stay off of your phone. Nothing is worse than trying to have a conversation with someone who can’t seem to put their phone down.

Showing genuine interest in how someone is doing shows that you care and it will be greatly appreciated. You should also walk your date back to his or her dorm.

Have fun

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Going on a date in your college’s dining hall isn’t conventional, especially on Valentine’s Day. We’re all just broke college students try-

JESSICA JUTZI THE DAILY ILLINI

Students eat at the Ikenberry Dinning Hall and enjoy the multiple cuisines it has to offer. On Valentine’s Day a dining hall may be a great place to have a casual date. ing to have fun without breaking the bank.

Eating in the dining hall eliminates the awkwardness of deciding who is paying for what. And while it may seem silly to go on a date in a dining hall where the food can

be slightly questionable, remember that it’s already been paid for. If you’re in good company, you’ll have a good time!

nmh2@dailyillini.com

Unique dates to impress your Valentine KYRA KIRSCH Supplements Writer

F

ebruary has finally arrived, and anticipating the “day of love” has put men and women everywhere in their annual panic. For the men, it is time to start your hunt for wow-worthy date ideas; for the women, it is time to start strategically slipping in casual hints of your hatred for the typical “dinner and a movie”.

So we’re left with the inevitable question: How can he exceed her expectations without the help of her creativity? Well, the answer is closer than you think.

It starts with knowing what she likes

and what she doesn't like. If she plugs her ears when you talk sci-fi, then two tickets to "Star Wars: Rogue One" could be the last date you share with her.

Every woman favors one of two important categories: staying in or going out.

Regardless of if you've been dating her for three weeks or three years, you know which one she tends to lean towards.

For the girl who prefers staying in her pajamas with a glass of wine, here are a few ideas that she will proudly brag to her friends about:

Homemade Sushi Chefs

Take a trip to the Asian grocery store (do your research, they exist nearby) for the necessary tools and ingredients to share this romantic, fun and maybe even tasty experience.

A Night in Rome

Pasta carbonara followed by "Letters to Juliet" equals an A+ for you. Travel around the world together without taking a step outside of your apartment; just choose a country and let the rest of the night follow suit.

Wine & Karaoke

If you are looking for a more casual way to spend your night, then look no further than a little liquid courage and windowshattering vocals. Grab a bottle of wine — or two — and borrow your buddy’s Wii for the karaoke night of a lifetime.

For the type who craves a dressy, romantic night spent out on the town, here are some unique ideas for her perfect night:

Artsy Smartsy

Find a place to grab a bite to eat, then show her your sophisticated side when you take her to one of the many theaters in Champaign. Whether it is musical theater, a live music performance or even just live entertainment in general, you’re guaranteed to wow her with your maturity.

Discover a Hole-in-the-Wall

This isn't your generic dinner date. Discover what tasty secrets lie inside the city’s walls. Don’t stop walking until you find a cute, small restaurant that the rest of campus hasn’t tried; she will always be happy to experience another “first” with you.

supplements@dailyillini.com

Thursday, February 9, 2017

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Spread the love this Valentine’s Day

BY MADELINE GALASSI SUPPLEMENTS EDITOR

As Feb. 14 rolls around, love is in the air, but there are ways to show it other than spending time with your significant other.

Giving back to the Champaign-Urbana community can be just as satisfying as going on a romantic date. Here are a few ways to pay it forward this Valentine's Day season.

Champaign County Humane Society

Instead of being lonely this holiday, find a furry friend to keep you company at the Champaign County Humane Society, located at 1911 E. Main St. On Valentine's Day there will be specials on adoption prices: $2 for critters, $14 for cats and $17 for dogs.

If you aren't in the market to make a commitment to adopting an animal, you can attend a volunteering orientation on Feb. 9 at 7 p.m.

Daily Bread Soup Kitchen

The Daily Bread Soup Kitchen, located at 116 N. First St., serves lunch to an average of 200 people in need every day. Volunteer opportunities are available beginning at 9 a.m. seven days a week.

Volunteers are needed to help prepare food, serve and clean up, and do other activities to aid in preparing meals for guests.

Franklin Middle School

College-level tutors are needed at Franklin Middle School, located at 817 N. Harris St. in Champaign. Tutors for all subject areas, as well as for some after-school clubs and organizations, are needed.

HANNAH AUTEN THE DAILY ILLINI

Volunteers John Neff and Tony Peressini work together to prepare a fresh salad to be served at lunch at the Daily Bread Soup Kitchen on Nov. 10, 2015.

Salvation Army of Champaign County various activities that help the store run. others and help everyone in the community The Salvation Army is searching for volunteers for its 2212 N. Market St., Champaign location. Volunteers perform

Valentine's Day love doesn't always need to be shown romantically. Through these organizations, your time and effort can help

feel the love.

mgalass2@dailyillini.com

Valentine’s Day can be independence day for singles BROOKS BERISH Assistant supplements editor

W

ho said celebrating Valentine’s Day as a single person has to be depressing?

These days, Valentine’s Day has almost become more associated with lonely singles than people in actual relationships. This is perhaps because people in relationships feel pity for single people on Valentine’s Day, the day of love.

However, it should be the other way around for so many reasons. That’s not to say that being in a relationship is bad at all.

It’s just that there are so many more oppor-

tunities for single people on Valentine’s Day, whereas people in relationships have fewer options.

Think of Valentines Day as another New Year’s. If you are single and unrestrained by the demands of a relationship, then get out there and have some fun. This is by no means a day you should spend alone.

Single people should band together and enjoy themselves. After all, this happens to be one of the best opportunities to meet other singles and to perhaps start a new relationship. This year, Valentines Day lands on a Tuesday, which is already a big day for going out on the University campus. You are more likely to find singles at the bars than couples. Many couples will be having dinner followed by a nice night watching Netflix.

The rest of the ambitious singles will be hitting up the bars, enjoying their single

lives. This night will be made even more fun because most of the singles are out for the same reason: to celebrate their single status or to find their soul mate at The Red Lion.

If bars are not your thing, or you’re perhaps not even looking to meet other singles on Valentine’s Day, that’s fine too. Valentine’s Day can be like New Year’s in other ways besides just celebration.

Imagine how much less time you would have to spare if you were in a relationship and use this knowledge to motivate yourself to take full advantage of the day.

Go explore the campus, see a movie with some friends, start working out again or go out to dinner with friends and laugh excessively in front of all the couples.

If you were in a relationship, your wallet would also probably be running dryer than usual. So to reward your single self, go

spend some cash and buy yourself something nice because you don’t need a relationship as much as you need a new microwave.

You are also completely entitled to stay in your room, listen to melancholy tunes and re-watch old sitcoms, but you would be giving into the social stigma built up by society that Valentine’s Day is a day to be loathed and brooded about by singles. Not to get technical about it, but Valentine’s Day started out as a capitalist construct designed to sell more Hallmark cards. Way back in the fifth century, the pope somehow even used it as an excuse to expel pagan rituals. What I’m trying to say is don’t take it so seriously.

Valentine’s Day is significant, but ultimately it is up to you as to how you interpret this international day of love.

berish2@dailyillini.com

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RATES AS LOW AS $724

Apply online today at

AMERICANCAMPUS.COM Rates/installments, fees & renderings are subject to change. Rates/installments do not represent a monthly rental amount (& are not prorated), but rather the total base rent due for the lease term divided by the number of installments. Select floor plans only. While supplies last. Limited time only. See office for details.