The Cord February 12, 2020

THE CORD THE TIE THAT BINDS WILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY SINCE 1926

VOLUME 60 ISSUE 18 • FEBRUARY 12, 2020

PANTONE ® 17-1736 TPX Appreciation Bouquet

ICE CREAM FOUR ALL

FINDING FETISHES

MATCH MADE

SWIPING RIGHT

HOCKEY HAWKS

New business opening in Waterloo

All the know-how on bedroom kinks

The best wine to pair with Uber Eats orders

Are dating apps the place to find love?

Men’s team gears up for playoffs

News, page 3

Features, page 9

Arts & Life, page 10

Opinion, page 14

Sports, page 15

2 •

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020

VOCAL CORD How do you feel about Valentine's Day has a holiday?

@cordnews

The Cord

@thecord.ca

CordNews THIS DAY IN HISTORY: FEBRUARY 12

PHOTO OF THE WEEK

1809: Abraham Lincoln, American politician (R) 16th President (1861-65), born in Hardin County, Kentucky (d. 1865).

1809: Charles Darwin, English naturalist (Origin of the Species) conceived the theory of evolution by natural selection, born in Shrewsbury, Shropshire (d. 1882)

“I partially feel like it’s an excuse for corporations to capitalize off love but I also kind of like it because I’m seeing someone and it feels nice to have a day to celebrate us and our relationship.”

1909: National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) forms.

1921: Winston Churchill becomes British Minister of Colonies.

1935: First secret demonstration of radio signals detecting aircraft by Robert Watson-Watt at Daventry, England.

- Michelle Gibson, 4th year communication studies

1947: French fashion designer Christian Dior presents his first influential collection, named the "New Look."

DARIEN FUNK/PHOTO EDITOR

1949: Team Canada beats Denmark 47-0 in hockey.

1964: Beatles 1st NYC concert (Carnegie Hall).

“It’s a big reality check.”

–Twan Dieker, bingo host

1982: Wayne Gretzky scores 153rd point of season, breaking NHL record.

1994: "The Scream" by Norwegian painter Edvard Munch (1893 pastel version) is stolen in Oslo.

1998: Intel unveils its 1st graphics chip i740.

“I think it’s a good idea but its too focused on the romantic aspect and I think it should be focused on appreciating all the people you have in your life.”

1999: US President Bill Clinton acquitted by the Senate in his impeachment trial.

2000: Charles M. Schulz, American cartoonist (Peanuts), dies at 77.

– Samantha Hawthorne 3rd year, health sciences

2004: The city of San Francisco, California begins issuing marriage licenses to samesex couples in response to a directive from Mayor Gavin Newsom.

Compiled by Sophia Cole and Kathleen McCullough

2010: XXI Winter Olympic Games open in Vancouver, Canada.

NEXT ISSUE

OPINION EDITOR Jade Hosick opinion@thecord.ca

SENIOR COPY EDITOR Victoria Marshall copyeditor@thecord.ca

CORD STAFF

SPORTS EDITOR Mark Cascagnette sports@thecord.ca

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Emily Waitson editor@thecord.ca

GRAPHICS EDITOR Jamie Mere graphics@thecord.ca

CORDCAST PRODUCERS Jade Hosick, Victoria Marshall cordcast@thecord.ca

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Brit Kovacs creative@thecord.ca

PHOTO EDITOR Darien Funk photos@thecord.ca

WEB DIRECTOR Kashyap Patel online@thecord.ca

ONLINE EDITOR Kathleen McCullough online@thecord.ca

NEWS EDITOR Sophia Cole news@thecord.ca

VIDEO EDITOR VACANT video@thecord.ca

NEWS EDITOR Riley Locke news@thecord.ca

LEAD REPORTER VACANT news@thecord.ca

ARTS & LIFE EDITOR Alyssa Di Sabatino arts@thecord.ca

LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER VACANT photos@thecord.ca

FEBRUARY 26, 2020

EVENTS COORIDNATOR

Ranjit Saini

CONTRIBUTORS

EDITOR’S CHOICE

Katelyn Tufford Hayley McGoldrick Jennifer Webb Laura Thompson Jackson Carse Ian Schakel Kaitlin Mckillop Summer Patriquin

" [Un]conventional alternatives for Valentine's Day " - Jackson Carse

ADVERTISING INQUIRIES All advertising inquiries can be directed to Kurtis Rideout at kurtis.rideout@wlusp.com or 519-884-0710 ext. 3560.

COLOPHON The Cord is the official student newspaper of the Wilfrid Laurier University community.

Started in 1926 as the College Cord, The Cord is an editorially independent newspaper published by Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. WLUSP is governed by its board of directors.

Opinions expressed within The Cord are those of the author and do not necessarily refl ect those of the editorial board, The Cord, WLUSP, WLU or CanWeb Printing Inc. All content appearing in The Cord bears the copyright expressly of their creator(s) and may not be used without written consent.

The Cord is created using Macintosh computers running OS X 10.10 using Adobe Creative Cloud. Canon cameras are used

for principal photography.

The Cord has been a proud member of the Ontario Press Council since 2006. Any unsatisfied complaints can be sent to the council at info@ontpress.com.

The Cord’s circulation for a normal Wednesday issue is 4,500 copies and enjoys a readership of over 10,000. Cord subscription rates are $20.00 per term for addresses within Canada.

The Cord has been a proud member of the Canadian University Press (CUP) since 2004.

PREAMBLE The Cord will keep faith with its readers by presenting news and expressions of opinions comprehensively, accurately and fairly.

The Cord believes in a balanced and impartial presentation of all relevant facts in a news report, and of all substantial opinions in a matter of controversy.

The staff of The Cord shall uphold all commonly held ethical conventions of journalism. When an error of omission or of commission has occurred, that error shall be acknowledged promptly.

When statements are made that are critical of an individual, or an organization, we shall give those affected the opportunity to

reply at the earliest time possible.

Ethical journalism requires impartiality, and consequently conflicts of interest and the appearance of conflicts of interest will be avoided by all staff.

The only limits of any newspaper are those of the world around it, and so The Cord will attempt to cover its world with a special focus on Wilfrid Laurier University, and the community of Kitchener-Waterloo, and with a special ear to the concerns of the students of Wilfrid Laurier University. Ultimately, The Cord will be bound by neither philosophy nor geography in its mandate.

The Cord has an obligation to foster freedom of the press and freedom of speech. This obligation is best fulfilled when debate and dissent are encouraged, both in the internal workings of the paper, and through The Cord’s contact with the student body.

The Cord will always attempt to do what is right, with fear of neither repercussions, nor retaliation. The purpose of the student press is to act as an agent of social awareness, and so shall conduct the affairs of our newspaper.

We acknowledge that we are on the traditional territory of the Neutral, Anishnawbe, and Haudenosaunee peoples.

"It's the hole that God can't see.”

- News Editor, Sophia Cole, while talking about butt stuff.

• 3

News

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020 NEWS EDITOR SOPHIA COLE news@thecord.ca

LOCAL BUSINESS

AARON WAITSON/PRESIDENT AND PUBLISHER

What’s the scoop? New location to open in Waterloo EMILY WAITSON EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Willis Way in uptown Waterloo is about to get a little sweeter with a new — yet locally recognized and beloved — ice cream business launching its first stand-alone retail location before the start of summer.

Four All Ice Cream, which began production in Kitchener in 2017, is in the process of opening its Waterloo store as soon as the end of February or early March.

Owner Ajoa Mintah started Four All with the desire to create improved ice cream choices and an enhanced experience after noticing the lack of alternative options that are available for people like her daughter, who can’t eat regular ice cream products. “[I thought] there’s gotta be a better way to do that, and so that was kind of in the back of my mind.

I moved here from Toronto in 2012, so another thing that I thought was amazing about this region is that [if I go] ten minutes in any direction from my home, I’m at a farm,” Mintah said.

“There are so many craft items here: there’s craft beer, there’s craft chocolate, there are distilleries and then there’s an abundance of fresh food.”

Mintah had aspirations to tap into the potential of the region and apply her skillset to a budding business prospect that eventually turned into a variety of locally-sourced ice cream flavours that have been sold at different businesses around KW.

I’m living in an area where there are all these small producers and crafters, and so, to me, it was just something that made sense.

-Ajoa Mintah, owner of Four All Ice Cream

“I’m living in an area where there are all these small producers and crafters, and so, to me, it was just something that made sense.

It was also just a desire for me to do something different than I was doing, and picking ice cream was a marriage for me between wanting to be creative, [while] also leveraging the fact that I’m a chemical engineer focused on food process

engineering,” Mintah said.

“These were the different factors that all existed that made me think ‘ice cream is the answer.’ Ice cream lets me be creative, lets me use my education and skills that I already have and it solved a problem that my family and I’m sure other families were having.”

To Mintah’s surprise, Four All’s ice cream quickly became popular.

“When I first launched Four All Ice Cream in 2017, I was paying rent in downtown Kitchener, where we had a counter where people could come and buy ice cream. I didn’t have a lot of faith or hope that people would actually be coming out there,” Mintah said.

“Our initial business model was that we were going to make great ice cream and give it to other people’s businesses because we’re in a weird part of town that no one is going to bother coming to. And to our surprise, people just kept on coming to it and waiting in line.”

Mintah said that her experience as a chemical engineer helped significantly in the process of designing the 16 flavours Four All currently offers.

Because Four All is relatively new to the ice cream industry, Mintah understands that the accessibility and affordability of other brands of ice cream are two

of the major challenges that her business faces.

To combat this, her philosophy focuses on three words: natural, local and mindful.

“Natural, being that our ice cream is made with food. If you took it apart, every single component is an item that you can eat, so it’s all-natural all the time,” Mintah said.

It was also just a desire for me to do something different than I was doing ...

-Ajoa Mintah, owner of Four All Ice Cream

“Local, just because I appreciate how much great food is actually available in this region already, and just great ingredients that are available. We’re sourcing from here as much as possible as close to here as we can.”

“And then mindful is probably

the most important thing to me because we’re really aware of who’s eating our product and what they need and what they want. While we are a licensed dairy plant out of our facility, [and] knowing that everyone loves ice cream, we’re mindful that vegans like ice cream, so we’ve formulated flavours that suit that need. And they’re not ‘less’ than our other flavours, they’re just as good, if not better,” she said.

Another emerging issue, the proliferation of gluten-free and other dietary restrictions, factor into the decisions made behind new and changing ice cream flavours. For example, one of their flavours, “Chocolate Mud Puddle,” is made with gluten-free brownie pieces, so that they can be enjoyed equally by customers.

Dietary accessibility for customers is a big concern for Mintah, who is always looking for new ways to ensure that a diverse range of customers is able to enjoy her products.

“We get our cones from a small supplier in town from Waterloo: their cones aren’t gluten-free, but they’re delicious, they’re fresh. So we formulated our own gluten-free cones if that’s what you need. The cones that we make in-house have to be gluten-free,” Mintah said.

4 • NEWS

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020

HIRING

Laurier names new acting dean of arts The incoming acting dean, Gavin Brockett, will be succeeding Richard Nemesvari, who has held the position since Jun. 3, 2015.

HAYLEY MCGOLDRICK CORD ALUM

Laurier’s faculty of arts has announced that the current dean of arts, Richard Nemesvari, will end his five-year term and associate dean of student affairs and learning Gavin Brockett will replace him as acting dean for a one-year term starting on Jul. 1, 2020.

Brockett, an associate professor in the department of history as well as the department of religion and culture, joined on as faculty at Laurier in 2006, and since then has also been named a Laurier Teaching Fellow, is co-coordinator of the Muslim Studies option and a global engagement liaison for Laurier International.

His work with ISOW, a student-led and student-funded initiative that provides full scholarships to international students fleeing violence to come to Laurier, began due to an idea from one of Brockett’s first-year seminars in 2013. Brockett has been the faculty advisor for ISOW ever since.

Brockett is currently the associate dean of student affairs and learning in the Faculty of Arts.

He has also facilitated field courses in the Middle East, as well as video conference calling to connect Laurier students to students in Turkey.

“It has been a privilege to serve as associate dean for the past four years. This has provided an invaluable opportunity to get to know both colleagues and students in arts. I look forward to the next year and to leading the faculty of arts at a time when the challenges are many,” said Brockett in an email

statement.

It has been a privilege to serve as associate dean for the past four years. This has provided me an invaluable oppourtunity to get to know both colleagues and students in arts.

-Gavin Brockett, acting dean of arts

“We have a newly minted strategic plan for the faculty and that will help us to make difficult decisions and set priorities. Dr. Nemesvari has done a fine job leading the faculty for the past five years, and I am grateful for the example he has set as I prepare to assume my new responsibilities.”

I look forward to the next year and to leading the faculty of arts at a time when the challenges are many.

-Gavin Brockett, acting dean of arts

Though an exciting transition for Brockett, his succession of Nemes-

EMILY WAITSON/EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

vari will leave big shoes to fill, as he has created many projects in the last five years at Laurier.

Prior to joining Laurier in 2015, Nemesvari served as St. Francis Xavier University’s dean of arts from 2010 to 2015.

One of the major projects implemented during Nemesvari’s time at Laurier was the C3 Innovations Lab, an experiential learning hub which allows art students to engage in social entrepreneurship as well as work with the city for

class credit and as networking and real-world experience.

This project that spearheads social change led Laurier to be named an AshokaU Changemaker Campus in 2016, a designation which signifies a leader in social innovation in higher education that less than 50 campuses globally have earned.

Nemesvari will continue to teach at Laurier in the department of English, as well as fulfilling his research responsibilities as the

general editor of the Cambridge University Press Edition of The Novels and Stories of Thomas Hardy.

Though Brockett’s acting term is only for one year, there are many new initiatives and collaborations in store to ensure Laurier’s faculty of arts continues to operate at a high level.

He will work with the department as the strategic plan shifts to best serve the current interests of the students.

NEWS • 5

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020 BRANTFORD CAMPUS

$10,000 in prize money awarded to young writers SOPHIA COLE NEWS EDITOR

The second-ever biennial Laurier Stedman Prize competition for young writers came to a conclusion on Friday, Feb. 7, awarding 10,000 dollars in prize money over the course of the evening.

Six prizes were given throughout the night, a first place prize totaling at $3000, two second place prizes totaling at $2000 each and three third place prizes of $1000 each.

The big winner of the night was Samiha Sanjida from Brantford Collegiate Institute and Vocational School (BCI), coming in first place for her short story The Year I Dreamt, which follows the narrators experience of 1971 East Pakistan (now Bangladesh) during a time of political unrest and conflict.

In addition to the monetary prize, Sanjida’s story will also be published on the official Wilfrid Laurier University website “Samiha’s writing has the ability to transport the reader right into the scenes she’s creating with incredibly strong, raw, and poignant elements,” said Stephanie Taylor, head of the English department at BCI . “At times, the writing can make the reader feel quite uncomfortable, and I think that speaks volumes of her abilities as a writer.”

The awards were funded by an endowment given to Laurier by the late Mary Stedman, whom the competition was named after. Stedman was a pillar in the Brantford community and an early advocate for the addition of a Laurier campus in Brantford, advocating for the promotion of the literary arts within the community.

The funding is managed by the English department of the faculty of liberal arts at Laurier’s Brantford

CONTRIBUTED IMAGE

campus.

The competition is open exclusively to highschool students and gives students in the Grand Erie or Brant Haldimand Norfolk Catholic District School Board an opportunity to submit their work to be reviewed by a panel of academics and authors.

“Creative writing provides a

valuable outlet for young people to express what they’re going through, what they’re struggling with and the ability to convey what you mean is a skill that will serve students well in whatever they choose to pursue,” Taylor said.

“Evidently, there are a lot of fantastic writers at each of our schools, and I hope more students will be

inspired to work towards it.”

Each piece is submitted anonymously and must be an original, unpublished work of narrative fiction under 1500 words. The works are then judged by a series of sub-juries who narrow down the submissions to the final ten ,who are then evaluated by a prize jury administered by Laurier Brantford

campus faculty.

This year’s prize jury was chaired

by Kathryn Carter, Laurier’s dean of the faculty of liberal arts.

Other members included New York Times bestselling author Susanna Kearsley, former Edna Staebler writer-in-residence and award-winning writer Emily Urquhart among others.

Do you love to write or edit? Are you passionate about graphic design or photography? Are you looking for volunteer experience for next year?

The Cord will be hiring for the 2020-2021 period soon. Make sure you check out thecord.ca/hiring/ for more information!

6 • GAMES

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020

MIXTAPE VALENTINES MIX

I WANT TO NAIL YOU

NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU BABY // CIGARETTES AFTER SEX

WANDERING ROMANCE // JORJA SMITH

TO: FROM:

FEEL A WAY // H.E.R.

YOU’RE THE REASON I DO KEGELS

EASIER TO LOVE // KISSISSIPPI

THINKIN BOUT YOU // FRANK OCEAN

READY 2 RIDE // JUNGLEPUSSY & QUIN

TO:

YOU’RE THE ONE (FT. SYD) // KAYTRANADA

FROM:

MOON RIVER // FRANK OCEAN

NONE OF YOUR CONCERN // JHENE AIKO

ADORE YOU // HARRY STYLES

LOVE YOU FOR A LONG TIME // MAGGIE ROGERS

TO:

FROM:

LOVE ON THE BRAIN // RIHANNA

+

YOU

(THINGS THAT FLOOD MY PANTIES) TO:

FROM:

EXP. ONCE THE SHEETS ARE STAINED

SCAN THIS TO REDEEM YOUR 2 FOR 1 ORGASM SPECIAL

DANCING ON YOUR OWN // ROBYN

GAMES • 7

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020

Dear Cordelia...

Our campus relationship expert is back! She’s ready to answer your burning questions about relationships, love and sex.

sponsored by the stag shop

R A D I O

&

L A U R I E R

c o r d

Q. A.

Dear Cordelia, My friend told me that I don’t have a boyfriend because I am too blunt and honest, and people don’t like my candid nature. Then he said my honesty is what he appreciates about me. So what gives?

Q.

Dear Cordelia, How do you deal with a friend who goes after a boy who you specifically expressed interest in, but you know it’s because she’s just the type of girl who validates her existence with male attention? She’s not maliciously being a bad friend, but she is?

A.

You definitely need to have an honest conversation with her about this.

If you’re hurt by her actions and she doesn’t realize that she’s doing something that negatively affects you, then she likely won’t stop until you talk to her about it. Be direct and tell her how her actions are making you feel. Otherwise, you’ll likely build up more resentment against her than it sounds like you already have.

Q.

Dear Cordelia, I need your help! A guy I’ve liked for a while (but haven’t seen or talked to in months) blocked me on Instagram recently, and I have no idea why. We definitely had a connection when we first met, but ever since I found out he had a girlfriend I’ve distanced myself. I’m confused about why this happened now and not months ago. Did he find out I liked him? Did his girlfriend think I was a threat? SOS!

A.

If this guy has a girlfriend, the answer is pretty simple: move on. You can say you have, but if you’re spending time over-analyzing all of the reasons why he may have blocked you on Instagram, then that’s definitely an indication that you still have feelings for him and you’re probably hoping that this is a sign that he feels the same way too. Maybe he was going through the people he was following and decided it was for the best to block you (for whatever reason), perhaps his girlfriend had some influence over this choice, but you won’t ever know unless he tells you directly or you ask him. And honestly, does the reason matter? As long as he’s still in a relationship, it’s pretty much irrelevant. It sucks, but it’s time to accept it as one of those annoying life unknowns that you probably won’t get an answer to.

T H E

Q. A.

THE ORIGINAL

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Q. A.

It sounds to me like he may have feelings for you himself, given the way he framed that comment. He appreciates you, but other guys don’t, ergo, he’s the one for you. On the other hand, guys can be condradictory sometimes, so take it with a grain of salt. Don’t change or feel bad about what is ultimately a shitty comment about admirable traits that make you who you are.

Dear Cordelia, How do you know when it is time to break up with your partner?

If you’ve gotten to a point in your relationship where you’d rather be away from them, you’re generally unhappy when you’re with them (e.g. constantly fighting, you don’t seem to have fun together anymore, you’ve lost that “spark”, etc.) and you don’t think any of the problems you have are fixable or worth the effort to fix, then it’s time to break it off. Relationships take work, but you shouldn’t be fundamentally unsatisfied while you’re in one. Maybe you need to take some time away from each other to really figure out what you want, but you ultimately need to open up a conversation with your partner if you’re having these feelings at all.

Dear Cordelia, I’m talking to a guy who repeatedly ghosts me when messaging, but in person, does all of these sweet things, how do I address the situation?

He’s either a crappy texter or he doesn’t really value you enough to prioritize talking to you. If he was actually sweet, would he continue stringing you along because he enjoys the attention (which is what it sounds like he’s doing)? Either ask him what his inteitons/feelings are (in person, so he can’t avoid it) or find someone else who appreciates your worth enough to text you back.

EXCHANGING VIBRATIONS WRITTEN BY CORD STAFF

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TIPS:

- LUBE IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE YOUR FRIEND (WATER BASED WINS) - HAVE EXTRA BATTERIES IN YOUR BEDSIDE DRAWER - STAG SHOP HAS 20% FOR STUDENTS - CLEAN YOUR TOYS

GRAPHIC BY KASH PATEL LAYOUT BY BRIT KOVACS

DISCLAIMER:

THE WRITER OF THIS ARTICLE IS NOT A FETISH EXPERT AND IS NOT TRYING TO INSERT THEMSELVES IN THE COMMUNITY, THEY’RE JUST INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECT.

shining a light on kink culture Arts and Life Editor, Alyssa Di Sabatino, demystifies fetishism

When people hear the word “fetish,” their first thought is probably Fifty Shades of Grey-esque BDSM. And perhaps it’s not wrong to say that this franchise brought edgier and obscure sex practices to the forefront of discussion. But regardless, it almost goes without saying that fetishes are largely misunderstood by the general public.

“I think one of the most important things to recognize with fetishes are that oftentimes it’s not creating any kind of harm. Most people, if they’re sort of in the kink community, have a good understanding of sort of how to manage their fetishes, how to find partners or [a] partner who are interested in kind of living out some of those fetishes,” said Jessica Crowe, individual therapist and sex and couples’ counsellor at Exhale Therapy in Kitchener.

“If you look at it in the wheelhouse of diversity, then it’s an understanding that it’s just one of many different diverse expressions of being a sexual human.”

One definition of fetishism states that, “a fetish is sexual excitement in response to an object or body part that’s not typically sexual.”

This could include, but is not at all limited to: body parts, body features, body fluids and body size. Clothing items, or certain textures and materials are also common.

But if anything is clear from this definition, it’s that fetishism is a very broad term, and that it is not easily defined.

Overall though, it is unclear as to whether sexual fetishism is a common occurrence or not.

“It’s interesting, there’s not really good statistical data to sort of give a clear number on who has [or] who is predisposed to have fetishes or how many people are fetishistic,” Crowe said.

“A smaller percentage is expected, so not a high percentage of people. However, what we always tell people is that when any sort of sex research is being done, it’s going to take a certain type of person to step forward and actually say ‘yes I have this.’ So, things where there’s higher stigma around it, we’re not likely getting a good sample, so it’s really hard to say how common it really is.”

There is no conclusive research as to how fetishes are developed either, explained Crowe.

“There’s sort of nothing really conclusive — there are still theories around how fetishes develop. What research does indicate is that they usually are developed before the age of 18 and some research suggests that it happens earlier on in childhood.”

Crowe also explained that there is also a debate over whether fetishism is innate — if people are predisposed to developing them — or if they are developed over

“If you look at it in the wheelhouse of diversity, then it’s an understanding that it’s just one of many different diverse expressions of being a sexual human.

- Jessica Crowe, individual therapist and sex and couples’ counseller at Exhale Therapy

time.

“There’s sort of a bit of a nature versus nurture debate in terms of how these things come to the surface. So, if it’s more bound in nature then the idea is that the brain is just sort of predisposed and wired this way, and if it’s more on the nurture side there’s belief that it’s more behaviourally bound.”

“Sometimes it could be some classical conditioning or it might be an imprinted behaviour, so they’re not 100 per cent certain.”

For most people, trying to think of examples of fetishes might invoke some very unconventional or uncommon examples.

In reality though, most people are probably practic-

ing some very basic fetishistic behaviour in their own sex lives, such as spanking or wearing lingerie for example, as these behaviours overlap with more-developed fetishistic behaviour.

At the same time though, the previously listed behaviours cross between the boundaries of erotic preferences, rather than full-fledged fetishes.

“Fetishes tend to be a bit of a more narrow definition where, if you’re talking more about erotic preferences, it’s more of an umbrella term that is kind of a larger scope. So, they’re both in the same wheelhouse but there is a little bit of a difference,” said Crowe.

Under most circumstances fetishes are not meant to be considered harmful in any manner, especially for consenting individuals, explained Crowe.

“One of the things that is usually defined in terms of a fetish being harmful is usually if it’s causing a lot of significant distress to the individual experiencing it — so, if it feels almost obsessive or intrusive. What can be really challenging though, is that somebody might be experiencing distress with a fetish not because of the fetish, but because of sort of the social structures or rules around what is sort of permissible and what isn’t.”

“I would say from a therapeutic standpoint, my job is to sort of do some deconstruction with people and assess, ‘is this interfering in your life, is this something where it’s all you can think about, is it the only way if you can kind of have a sexual experience or is it something that’s grounded in shame or stigma and you’re actually quite okay with the behaviour, and you enjoy it and it happens in a consensual space’ and really what you’re needing to work through is just letting go of some of the social stigma around it?”

For those who are interested in exploring the topic of fetishism further, Crowe suggests finding a support network.

“There are lots of different opportunities for support, whether that’s looking to kind of join a kink community, whether that’s looking to seek a therapist, whether that’s trying to find someone who can support you. Just [know] that you don’t have to deal with those kind of things on your own if it feels distressing.”

10 • ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020

Arts & Life

ARTS & LIFE EDITOR ALYSSA DI SABATINO arts@thecord.ca

SATIRE

(Un)conventional alternatives for Valentine’s Day JACKSON CARSE STAFF WRITER

What do single people do on Valentine’s Day? It sounds like an old riddle. What could possibly be done for those who remain unhitched? Do we watch and laugh at the sheer perplexity of it all or do we shield our eyes, ashamed of our segregation from the mutually admired?

I believe I’ve found a solution, a way for single people to enjoy a holiday overtly targeted towards couples: we forget about it.

Thomas Gray once wrote, “ignorance is bliss” which I think works well here. How can we possibly believe we’re missing out on something if we denounce it altogether? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m taking this stance strictly out of prejudice and envy, but that doesn’t mean I support it any less.

Regardless, here’s a few ways of distracting yourself this Valentine’s day.

Massive Porn Binge There’s nothing like a porn binge with the boys. It’s a different type of bonding, all huddled around your mom’s work computer sharing that blanket she bought on sale at Indigo.

There’s no shame in your erection — you’ve all got one. Embrace your sexuality and sadness by

throwing on some high definition adult films that make you question whatever happened to family ethics.

Who cares if both “sisters” have drastically different skin tones? It’s about bonding with the fellas and trying to forget that no one wants to touch what you’re all hiding under that beach towel your mother threw down.

She heard it all.

Guys/Girls Night What better way to pretend you don’t care about being alone like a dismissive, mandatory hangout with the girls? See a movie, paint each others nails, go for sushi.

Nothing complements raw tuna like the taste of tears!

Take one night off from calling each other whores and spend some time discussing why men are the real problem. Forget the fact that your friend zone has hit capacity, full of polite, willing guys ready to permeate you with romance.

Tonight is for talking about Trent, the varsity hockey player who turned down your invitation to come over and watch reruns of Degrassi because your “eyebrows look like bike spokes.” These are the things we complain about on Valentine’s Day! Don’t worry, lads. Guys night doesn’t only have to involve uneven breasts and incest. There’s

plenty of things to do with the boys. Turn off that porn, burn that towel and go outside to assert your masculinity!

Head to the bar to hit on other singles full of sexual frustration and denial. Make sure to hit the cue ball extra hard so the ladies know you came to play. Hit the stage and mumble Green Day’s “Time of Your Life” so everyone at the bar knows you’re proud of your virginity! There’s no shame in abstinence, boys. Just ask anyone buying Abreva in bulk.

Throw yourself into schoolwork Finish that essay you’ve been putting off, get some readings done. Use this time to catch up on all the things you’ve been neglecting.

Maybe you’re a music student: spend some time practicing for that audition. Sure, the oboe is slightly phallic, but try your best not to let it remind you of your daunting sexual drought.

I’ll give the Health Science students a break. A hefty portion of their course load requires staring at sketches of contorted genitalia.

What’s not erotic about that?

JAMIE MERE/GRAPHICS EDITOR

Consider this a Plan B (which also might come in handy later).

Remember, there’s no shame in a late-night booty call. When all else fails, head to the phone.

Try a dating app. There’s always some adequate suitors on there, right? Who better to satisfy your carnal needs than a complete and utter stranger?

Maybe Tinder, the app where every guy thinks a photo of their dog is deserving of a handjob. Or Bumble, the app that lets women decide which guy looks least like a sexual predator.

Sure, you’ll probably end up sleeping beside a guy intentionally inhaling the exhaust from your diffuser, but really: what did you expect from someone named Quinoa?

Whether it’s sucking on the wet end of a trumpet or accidentally touching your friend’s boner, find something to keep yourself entertained. I’d like to say Valentine’s Day is just like any other day, but with the constant gloating for attention over social media, it’s a day that can cause major anxiety for some people.

Most of what is said above is meant for laughs and shouldn’t be taken seriously. If you’re like me and tend to feel extra self-conscious on Valentine’s Day, just find something that makes you comfortable and remember that all those people in their romance-driven posts have all waved at someone who wasn’t waving at them just like you. Deep down, everyone’s kind of a moron.

door. Since shawarma is rich, flavourful and a little bit spicy, you’re going to want a light and slightly sweeter wine to complement it — enter riesling. Riesling is a great wine for those who are looking to transition into the world of grown-up wine after spending years of drinking Girls Night Out or Jacob’s Creek moscato. Depending on your preferences, you can get a bottle of typical Riesling which tends to be sweeter, or a bottle of Dry Riesling which would be my drink of choice. Remember, the salt in the food will make whatever you’re drinking taste sweeter in comparison!

My favourite savings sangiovese is

by Fantini, and it will hardly cost you more than a whiskey sour at Bauer Kitchen. Pair this bad boy with classic spaghetti and meatballs, or the sausage and peppers penne if you want to spice things up a bit.

adding any strong flavours like hot sauce or tomatoes because it can mess with the flavours of the wine — chardonnay is a sensitive creation.

Sangiovese & East Side Marios

Chardonnay & Meltwich

Ah, wine and spaghetti — an age-old pairing. I know this name may sound complicated, and at the risk of sounding like a wine snob (most of you probably won’t know what this wine is), but trust me on this one. This Italian wine pairs beautifully with a nice tomato sauce and you can easily find a budget option at your local LCBO.

Chardonnay goes very well with mild, buttery dishes, so what better pairing than a university student favourite: grilled cheese! The creamy melted cheese and the buttery toasted bread will pair great with the wine’s soft sweetness and hints of apple. I would recommend getting an oaked chardonnay from a moderate climate and to avoid

Booty Call Desperation: what better reason to get herpes? A cold sore is treatable, but a broken heart is forever.

FOOD AND DRINK

Wine and food pairings for V-Day Bring your celebrations up a notch with these suggestions UberEats option. Here are some of the best food and wine pairings for celebrating on a budget.

SOPHIA COLE NEWS EDITOR

Wine: the best way to get drunk while also maintaining the illusion of class. With Valentine’s Day around the corner, most of us are looking for ways to make ourselves and/or your significant others feel special. But being on a student budget can really narrow down your options — most of us can’t afford to splurge on a fancy night out with food and wine to match.

That, however, doesn’t mean you can’t bring your Valentine’s Day celebration up a notch from a drunken, PBR-fueled sexcapade followed by a helping of whatever-you-can-put-together from the single onion, half empty can of pasta sauce and bagel you have lying in your fridge.

This Valentine’s Day, treat yourself to a nice, moderately priced wine paired with your favourite

Cabernet Sauvignon & A&W This red wine is full bodied and pairs amazingly with red meat, especially if it’s been thrown on the grill, making fast food burgers to obvious pairing. Since cabernet sauvignon is a robust wine, it needs a hearty burger patty to stand up to it — no lunch-meat thin McDonalds patties could do the trick here.

I recommend heading to the U.S. section of the LCBO and picking out a California cab sauv — the warm climate makes for a rich and fruit-forward bottle with lots of nice flavours from the oak. Grab your favourite person and your favourite burger, the more patties the better, and drink up.

Riesling & Lazeez Shawarma Shawarma is a university student staple and there are few things better than a large Lazeez on the sticks delivered directly to your

DARIEN FUNK/PHOTO EDITOR

Pinot Grigio & Sakura Island Something about eating takeout sushi in your bed while wine drunk with the one you love just hits different. This is one of the lighter white wines available and you can typically find a great budget option in the Italian section of the LCBO. Its crisp and mild citrusy flavour pairs great with sushi. The lightness of the wine allows it to pair well with many sushi options, from the classic California roll to a crispy tempura roll — you do you.

ARTS & LIFE • 11

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020 ADVICE

Sex etiquette rules for when you have roommates VICTORIA MARSHALL SENIOR COPY-EDITOR

Unless you have an ensuite. In that case, it’s your prerogative.

LAURA THOMPSON ARTS AND LIFE CONTRIBUTOR

With Valentine’s Day coming up, there might be some things you may want to consider if you have roommates. Sex happens. Hookups happen. And sometimes, random guests show up at your apartment and leave their razor scooter at the door — and that’s okay!

Generally speaking, sharing things with your roommates is great: but not everyone you live with will want to hear the soundtrack to your post-bar hookup. If you want to ensure you’re being as considerate as possible when it comes to sharing your living space with sexual partners and roommates alike, here are some golden rules you should follow.

Golden rule #1: Give your roommates a heads up.

Spontaneous hookups happen all the time. But to make sure that you’re not bringing your guest into a potentially unwanted meet-andgreet, shoot your roommates a

Golden rule #5: Stand by the girl code.

JAMIE MERE/GRAPHICS EDITOR

quick text when you’re a few minutes away from your crash pad.

Golden rule #2: Turn down the volume.

The last thing you want to hear, aside from someone else getting down and dirty, is your roommate shouting “Nice acoustics!” from the next room over.

Make sure to remember that if you’re not the only one home, there’s a good chance other people

can hear what you’re doing. Most people don’t want to hear what might be going on in your bedroom — and if they do, you need to have a different kind of conversation.

Golden rule #3: Abide by house rules, especially when you’re the guest.

Respecting other people’s space in your shared dwelling is common sense. Respecting a partner’s

space, especially when roommates are involved, is something some people find hard to grasp.

To make a long story short, keep your clothes on. Even if you’ve been together five years, your partners’ roommates don’t want to see your ass(ets) in the kitchen.

And reliving your 2018 Osheaga experience via a bluetooth speaker in a shared shower is a big no-no.

Golden rule #4: No funny business in the bathroom.

If you’re on a date and are getting bad vibes from your … umm … suitor, it’s always good to be able to have a backup plan. In most cases, a text from a roommate notifying you of a fake problem in the apartment (e.g. the toilet overflowing, or the RCMP at your door with a search warrant) will do the trick.

Enact these in advance, ladies!

Better safe than sorry.

If you ever feel unsafe in a situation at a bar, club or anywhere in general (yes, women really do have to be that careful), reach out to your homies. Hopefully the people you live with can be there for you when you need them. But if not, do not fear! It’s a guarantee in the girl code that any other decent lady will come to your rescue.

Be courteous this Valentine’s — or, Galentines, if you prefer — but most of all, be safe. Being respectful to both your partners and your roommates, is like, the sexiest thing ever.

FILM tine’s Day. Director Garry Marshall teaches us that Valentine’s Day is about so much more than just loving a significant other.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016) A break from the traditional American rom-coms, The Edge of Seventeen is a coming-of-age drama-comedy starring Hailee Seinfeld as she goes through the ups and downs of her teenage years. I can always count on this movie to make me laugh even when I’m in the lowest of moods. I highly recommend you give it a try if you haven’t already.

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018) DARIEN FUNK/PHOTO EDITOR

The top nine rom-coms for Valentine’s Day KATELYN TUFFORD STAFF WRITER

Whether you’re doing the classic dinner and a movie or just feel like getting the girls or guys together for a good laugh, here is a list of movies that offer a few knee slappers.

In no particular order, I present to you some of my favourite laughs in the form of cinematic masterpieces.

Take your pick of cast members, storylines or randomly stop scrolling and point to a title to enjoy tonight.

I would personally recommend a pair of fuzzy pajama pants and a beverage of your choice.

I Love You, Man (2009) What’s a wedding without a best man? Starring Paul Rudd, Jason Segel and Rashida Jones, this flick is a great choice for any groups of friends that want to share a good laugh over popcorn and drinks on a casual Friday night in.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) Follow writer and star Jason Segel as he travels to Hawaii to get over his TV-star girlfriend. In Hawaii he runs into not only his famous ex but her new boyfriend, played by Russell Brand, of course.

Topped with the humour of Mila

Kunis, Kristen Bell and Bill Hader, this comedy is sure to have the whole room howling with laughter.

Valentine’s Day (2010) Talk about incredible casts!

Where else do you find Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Alba, Bradley Cooper, Patrick Dempsey, Jennifer Garner, Jamie Foxx, George Lopez, Emma Roberts, Taylor Swift, Julia Roberts and Queen Latifa in one screenplay? Set in Los Angeles, Valentine’s Day features stories of both couples and singles as they face the normal, everyday pressures of love and relationships, especially emphasized on Valen-

One of the freshest, most real romance movies in the game, Lana Condor stars in this very recent film about growing up and coming to terms with her heart’s desires.

Noah Centineo swoops in and steals the cake of charming male characters. You’re going to want to watch this now because the sequel To All the Boys 2: P.S. I Still Love You comes out on Netflix February 12th — just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Ibiza (2018) You will be pleasantly surprised by this Netflix original directed by Alex Richenbach. I had to watch it twice because the humour was just too good. Basically, a group of best friends travel to Spain to meet a hot DJ and, well, you can add Spain to your bucket list. Anyway, if you’re looking for a genuinely good laugh, this is the movie to see.

Best enjoyed with the girls and a margarita — or three.

How to Be Single (2016) This movie is pretty much all you and your girlfriends need. Watch as Dakota Johnson, Rebel Wilson, Leslie Mann and Alison Brie navigate love and relationships in New York City. Sidenote: you don’t have to be single to watch this movie.

You will, however, learn a few hacks for doing things by yourself.

For example, how to reach the zipper on the back of your dress.

Bridesmaids (2011) Get the girls together and cozy up on the couch to watch this hilarious movie about wedding planning and friendship. To make it even more fun, assign everyone to the character they match in the movie. Between the toasts, the travels and the gown fittings, you might need a couple tissues to wipe the tears of laughter from your cheeks. This is definitely the movie to watch if you need a good laugh — and perhaps some inspiration.

Stuck in Love (2012) One of my all-time favourite movies. It could just be because Lily Collins, Logan Lerman, Greg Kinnear and Jennifer Connelly are all in it, but this movie is a modern work of artistic talent.

You might fall in love with every character, and you might feel inspired to write a book by the end as well.

And there you have it, folks. My list of nine romantic comedies, and just plain old comedies to lift your spirits and keep you happy all though the season.

Just remember — Valentine’s Day is not just for couples. It’s for friends, family and great movies.

12 •

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020

Editorial

OPINION EDITOR Jade Hosick opinion@thecord.ca

President’s Note: Discovering other kinds of love

AARON WAITSON PRESIDENT AND PUBLISHER

As much as Valentine’s Day gets a reputation for how miserable and isolated it makes some people feel, it makes me think about how much my own perspectives on love, and the different kinds of love that can exist, has changed in the past few years.There are so many different ways and forms that love can be expressed, and Valentine’s Day has the potential to be about so much more than romantic love. I’ve opened myself up a lot to the idea of familial, platonic — and even pet love. It’s taken a long time for that shift to happen, and in many ways I still have a lot of growth I need to go through, but I’m learning to be a lot more comfortable with the idea.

I think toxic masculinity culture has played a significant role in overcoming that obstacle. When you are surrounded by a culture that reinforces the repression of emotions, and idolizes the internalization of problems and negativity, it gets in the way of being able to properly and healthily express and navigate your emotions properly — for men and women.

It plays a lot into how we approach affection, and love, in a non-sexual context.

It’s perfectly characterized by the paralyzing fear, in men, that being too affectionate or “close” with other male friends is seen as socially unacceptable, especially because it may to you being ostracized or alienated from your friend group.

This is almost never seen in female friend groups, who have no problem with platonic affection such as cuddling, complementing — and I know this is going to take some real mental gymnastics here guys, but in some cases, even hugging.

The idea of platonic physical affection in male friend groups is almost entirely unheard of, which is why it’s been so difficult to get past that. However, I’ve found that once you get older, most people just stop caring about those kinds

of things, which honestly makes the idea of male friendships a lot less anxiety-inducing for me.

Family love has been another really tough hurdle for me to overcome. I’ve written at length about some of the issues with my family that I’ve been dealing with over the past few years, but I think I’ve reached a good equilibrium that I can live with.

I understand that, in large part, my family will never change who they are. The problems that are associated with that will likely never change, either. I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve accepted that, and have shifted my perspective on how to approach them. Having another family in my life has helped significantly with that process of re-learning familial love. I’ve discovered a lot about how I deserve to be treated, and how families are supposed to love you unconditionally, and it’s really helped shift my viewpoint on affection as a whole.

I think, though, that love for a pet was one of the most unexpected changes that my philosophy has undergone. I had always shut myself off to the idea of really loving another animal because of one excuse or another. I didn’t see the point in loving something that was only temporary and couldn’t really say anything back. Being the cynical little monster I was, I didn’t appreciate pets for what they are.

I understand now that it’s okay to open my heart to another creature, even if they don’t last forever, because that’s what makes the connection so special.

I never treated one of my family’s cats the way she deserved to be treated — I didn’t reciprocate the endless, unconditional love that she offered enough — and it’s something that I can’t change now that she is gone. But moving forward, the lessons I’ve learned from love, how it can be expressed and to whom, have gone through such a dramatic shift that I don’t think I would even recognize the person I used to be half a decade ago.

Looking back on how much I’ve grown gives me a sense of pride, and fills me with a little bit of self-love — and I think it’s really important to take time to remember that on Valentine’s Day.

THE CORD IS PUBLISHED BY WILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY STUDENT PUBLICATIONS 205 REGINA ST. N., WATERLOO

WLUSP ADMINISTRATION BOARD OF DIRECTORS

TREASURER Kashyap Patel

CHAIR Aaron Waitson

PRESIDENT Aaron Waitson president@wlusp.com

VICE-CHAIR Alyssa Di Sabatino DIRECTOR Arshy Mann DIRECTOR Rosalind Horne DIRECTOR Emily Crump

FINANCE MANAGER Randy Moore randy@rcmbrooks. com

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EDITORIAL CARTOON

JAMIE MERE/GRAPHICS EDITOR

Editorial: Why it’s okay to show love to your friends VICTORIA MARSHALL SENIOR COPY EDITOR

At this time of year, it seems as though everyone is fixated on finding somebody to love.

The world around us makes us feel as though finding your ‘person’ is a necessary thing — or at least that’s what I thought, anyway.

Lately, I’ve realized that I have plenty of people around me to love. Something even better is that they love me right back.

Those people aren’t a part of some steamy romance story: they’re my friends, and they’ve been with me through thick and thin.

Now that I’m into my twenties, I’ve matured (ever so slightly) enough to be able to tell my friends that I love them. I also think it’s about time that everyone does the same.

Love isn’t something reserved for one special person who you

may share the rest of your life with.

It’s all around us; it’s everywhere.

I love chocolate. I love my cat, and I love my friends. I’m pretty sure everyone else approaches and uses the word ‘love’ the same way.

While many of us are experiencing cuffing-season-induced loneliness and the winter blues, it never hurts to remind your friends how happy you are that they’ve stuck around.

So if it’s okay to profess love to your favourite foods, movies, books and subjects at school, why is there still a stigma around telling your friends that you love them?

I will admit that the stigma that comes with loving your friends has reduced recently. But depending

on who you are, telling a friend that you love them still might not seem right.

If it doesn’t seem right in the essence of the word, that’s okay — but really, saying “I love you” in a purely platonic way is simply a more succinct “I care about you and your well being, am happy to have you as a friend, and will always be proud of your successes.”

One is easier to say than the other, is it not?

Plus, while many of us are experiencing cuffing-season-induced loneliness and the winter blues, it never hurts to remind your friends how happy you are that they’ve stuck around.

If normalizing the platonic “I love you” is something that we want to do, let Valentine’s Day be a day not just those of us in relationships celebrate.

Get together with your girls and watch your favourite chick flick, or get together with the guys and catch a ball game.

Love, regardless of who it is with is a wonderful thing; and the world would be a much better place if there were more of it.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020

Opinion

13 • 13 OPINION EDITOR JADE HOSICK opinion@thecord.ca

Hot Take: Can you love someone else before loving yourself?

JADE HOSICK OPINION EDITOR

Learning to love yourself is a long and drawn-out process that does not happen overnight. It is also not a linear process, and people often go through phases of loving themselves unconditionally and then hating themselves.

It's hard to come to terms with certain elements of who you are both physically and mentally.

Learning to love who you are allows you to be comfortable in your own skin, which is very important in a relationship.

If you are not secure with yourself and you get into a relationship with someone, then you open yourself up for more self-doubt.

EMILY WAITSON EDITOR-IN-CHEIF

JAMIE MERE/GRAPHICS EDITOR

I have always struggled with self-esteem issues, and loving myself for who I am and have the potential to be has never been an easy concept to put into practice.

I’m still not 100 per cent confident and completely happy with what I see when I look in the mirror every day, but I’ve progressed a long way from where I used to be even just a year ago.

While I firmly believe that self-love is a personal journey that you’re in control of, other people

Thoughts of not being good enough, or feeling as though your significant other doesn’t really want to be with you will constantly be in your mind.

Now I am not saying being 100 per cent in love with yourself is what you need to be before being in a relationship; because as I stated before, self-love is not linear, but, rather, you need to be secure with who you are in order to be successful in your relationships.

If you are not secure in who you are, then you might also not be able to stand up for yourself or your beliefs with a person as well.

All in all, loving yourself is a journey - and while being in a relationship with someone might be a part of that, it will not compare to being in a relationship after you have found self-love.

To quote RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, then how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?”

can have a huge influence on that process as well.

I’ve been in a relationship for nearly six years, and it’s taught me so many things about myself and my ability to love another person.

Was I completely content with who I was when we met? Absolutely not. But that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t capable of loving him even when I couldn’t completely love myself at the time.

He’s helped me in countless ways with my self-esteem, but more than anything, he’s played an enormous role in making me see what’s always been there, the things he likes about me that I’ve just refused to acknowledge and accept, and I love him for it.

I will always be incredibly thankful for what my relationship has done in that regard.

Is dating just to marry an outdated concept?

SUMMER PATRIQUIN OPINION COLUMNIST

With the modern day hookup era we are in today, dating to marry seems like a concept from the Stone Age. Apps such as Tinder or Bumble have revolutionized the dating scene, particularly among young adults. It is just as common, if not more, for people to seek casual relationships as opposed to serious committed ones.

Everyone has their own dating preferences at different times of their lives, but as a generation we may be moving too far away from dating to marry towards just having casual relationships.

Why are we seeing this shift now?

In the past, finding a life partner young was a societal norm with clear gender roles in heterosexual

couples; men were the providers and women were the caregivers.

There has been a shift in gender roles and societal norms in the past few decades that have directly impacted the dating scene. As women become more financially independent as more opportunities and social movements for equal pay and rights have progressed, the need for that stability from a man no longer exists.

Therefore when looking for a partner, there are other things people consider. So as we see an increase in female independence, we see a decrease in more traditional norms.

Some may believe we have moved too far from this ideology, but it is important to also consider, why are you dating or seeking companionship?

There are not two extremes for relationships. Dating to marry or

casual relationships have a lot of options in between as every relationship and situation is different.

A common misconception of dating to marry is that it promotes settling. This can be true if one has a timeline for wanting to marry so they settle for the best present option.

The Bachelor franchise is a perfect example of settling for the best present option.

As a 20-year-old young woman, I am not actively thinking about getting married, whereas someone older may have that on their mind regularly.

My personal interpretation of dating to marry is being intentional with your relationships and not establishing or expecting to have an expiration date. Being intentional directly eliminates the idea of settling because it forces one to reflect on what they want.

DARIEN FUNK/PHOTO EDITOR

14 • OPINION

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020

Are dating apps effective for long term relatonships?

HAYLEY MCGOLDRICK CORD ALUM

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, many single people turn to dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge to fill what they feel is a void in their life not having a relationship, because nothing screams loner like not getting flowers and overpriced chocolate on a random February Friday.

The question that lingers to many is if these hookup apps are beneficial for long-term dating, or if they are just a physical embodiment of hookup culture coming to fruition to help people engage in their sexual desires beyond going out to the bar or racking up the courage to ask that pretty girl in class to “hang out”.

My simple answer to the debate is that no, these apps are not beneficial for long-term dating.

There are many reasons behind my thinking, but the first comes down to the fact the dating apps are forcefully putting two lonely people together and trying to make something come of it.

That sounds super harsh, but it’s true.

Think of it this way: when you get to a level of desperation where you throw all your standards out the window and agree to start dating someone you know nothing about who you met two weeks ago, you may not get the fairytale ending you hoped for.

There is also the problem of people not wanting to come off as pigs and will talk to someone for weeks until they can meet up, hook up, and then never speak again.

People don’t make their intentions clear and one side of the relationship can see a proposal, while the other knows they are never going to speak to each other again after they get what they want.

That leads into another pertinent point in the argument: ghosting culture.

Dating apps have enabled people to feel like they don’t owe anybody an explanation anymore.

You may think things are going great with somebody, but little do you know they’ve been talking to three other people and finally chose their Bachelorette (who wasn’t you) until you wake up and they’ve blocked you on all social media.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. My best friend has been with a guy who she met on Tinder for a few years now. They are complete soulmates and I have never seen her happier.

DARIEN FUNK/PHOTO EDITOR

Another one of my best friends met her girlfriend on a dating app.

They are coming up on their one year and I can’t wait to speak at their wedding one day.

Other than those literal two examples, almost every single one of my friends has been on dating apps and almost every one of them has a thousand horror stories.

Trying to put two people who

JAMIE MERE/GRAPHICS EDITOR

Why tolerating mixed signals does you no favours VICTORIA MARSHALL SENIOR COPY EDITOR

In any respect, feelings are complicated. And they can become even more so when you’re in a situation with someone - not a committed relationship - that allows for

things to get a little twisted.

And with these tricky scenarios come the possibility of being stringed along. This isn’t just a problem for ladies, I’m sure - but I’ve definitely experienced my fair share of this at the hands of guys who just weren’t able to communicate.

Ironically, most of them have been communications majors. But perhaps that’s besides the point.

There really is no worse feeling than thinking everything with a

guy (or girl, if you like) is going fine, and then all of a sudden you’re hit with a text, seemingly out of nowhere, saying that you “should see other people.”

It’s especially disheartening to hear that after effectively being ghosted for two week’s time, but then being reassured by said guy that he was sorry for being distant, and missed talking to you.

If these mixed signals made your inner monologue say “What the heck?” you’re not alone: me

don’t have much in common, don’t know any of the same people, and don’t know the ins and outs of the person that well, is sort of a recipe for failure.

Not being aware that someone has a personality trait you HATE until you’re five months deep sucks.

The bright side of this whole thing is that everyone will find

their person one day. Sure, if you enjoy conversation, or hookups or going for coffee with strangers, no one is stopping you from going on Tinder, believe me.

Have fun while you’re young, but if you’re dependant on an app to find your husband, you may benefit from just going outside and seeing what the universe has in store for you.

too! Having this happen after what seemed like a wonderfully paced, drama-free three months’ worth of dates ended not only in a snap, but left things on a bit of a sour note.

Truthfully — and I’m not just saying this because other people will be reading it - if this person was honest with me as soon as he knew things weren’t working, I would have been able to understand.

But his way of ending things left me not only feeling like I wasn’t worth his time, but that I wasn’t worth the basic courtesy of honesty.

Not to mention the fact that, since he seemed like a genuinely nice guy before, I kept making excuses for his absence in the two weeks leading up to the dump-bytext.

failure to respond to your text messages, that person is not worth your time.

If you’re talking to someone and are planning on being distant for a while, that’s okay - especially at busy points in the school year. Just have the courtesy to let who you’re seeing know that being MIA is your plan, but that you’ll be back soon.

It’s pretty easy, and saves everyone involved a lot of anxiety.

Rule number two is also fairly simple: know your worth. If you can sense that someone is beating around the bush when it comes to spending time with you, trust your gut.

It’s always right. And know that those who can’t be honest with you when you sense something suspicious are not worth your time or energy.

Rule number three for dumpees is to take it lightly. Most of us here are only in our late teens and early twenties.

Like me, you might feel the pressure of meeting your ‘person’ during your time at university. But in reality, we’re still very young, and have plenty of time left to make that happen.

And although I have little experience in the realm of ending relationships, I know one thing for sure: ghosting someone, acting like everything is fine and then sending a breakup text (three days before Christmas, to boot) is not a great way to end things with someone.

Hopefully my next breakups end a bit more decently than my last.

Overall, dating is complicated.

But learning from what worked and didn’t work, even if situations didn’t end on your terms, truly are lessons that you can learn from so that in the end, you get the treatment you deserve.

But his way of ending things left me not only feeling like I wasn’t worth his time, but that I wasn’t worth the basic courtesty of honesty.

“He probably has some family stuff going on,” I kept telling myself. “He has such a hard semester right now, and it’s exam season, so I’m sure he’s just focusing on school.”

That leads me to rule number one for my fellow dumpees: if you find yourself justifying someone’s

• 15

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020

Sports

SPORTS EDITOR MARK CASCAGNETTE sports@thecord.ca

MEN’S HOCKEY

Hawks to face Gryphons in playoffs rematch MARK CASCAGNETTE SPORTS EDITOR

It’s playoff time in the OUA and the Laurier Golden Hawks enter the post-season this year playing as good of hockey as they have played in almost a decade.

The Guelph Gryphons await the Golden Hawks as the playoffs will get underway starting this Thursday.

The Golden Hawks were able to clinch a playoff spot with a statement win over the Ryerson Rams two weeks ago.

That week was memorable for the Golden Hawks, as they began it by beating the fourth-ranked Toronto Varsity Blues 4-0, before beating the cross-town rival Warriors 5-1 in front of nearly a thousand people at the Kitchener Auditorium, and then clinching their spot in the playoffs with the win over the seventh-ranked Rams.

With that stretch of play Laurier picked up significant ground in the OUA West race and even went into the final weekend of games with a chance to host the first-round playoff series, something that seemed nearly impossible back in November.

USPORTS and the OUA have noticed Laurier’s play as the men’s hockey team earned their first national ranking in almost a decade.

The Hawks were ranked seventh and have since dropped to ninth in the latest rankings released yesterday.

Laurier and Coach Puhalski entered the final weekend of play with loads of motivation and energy as they played Western and York.

DARIEN FUNK/PHOTO EDITOR

The Mustangs have eliminated the Golden Hawks in two out of the past four years in the playoffs, including last year.

Western was able to sweep the Golden Hawks in two games last February, while also sweeping Laurier in the 2016 playoffs.

Laurier was looking for revenge and was able to put together another dominant performance on the road Friday night against their rivals.

Having beat Western 7-3 earlier this year in Waterloo, Laurier had no issue once again with scoring.

A drastically improved offense was able to put up five more goals as the Golden Hawks beat the Mustangs 5-1.

The resurgence of the offence has been mainly led by first-line forwards, Anthony Sorrentino and Anthony Conti.

However other veterans have stepped up, Jeremy Pullara scored

two goals against Western, while Danny Hanlon continued his hot streak on offense with an assist.

Special teams were the driving force for the Golden Hawks win as they were able to score two power-play goals as well as a shorthanded goal in order to hand Western their third straight loss.

Anthony Conti continued his dominant second half of the season as he opened the scoring against Western with his fifth power-play goal of the season.

Conti’s goal brings his season total to 15 and his points total to 28.

The 28 points put up by Anthony Conti are tied with Ryan Bellows (2010) and Tyler Stothers (2014) for the most points in a season by an individual Golden Hawk in the past decade.

Matt Williams was also impressive on Friday night, stopping 45 of 46 shots that Western fired on net.

Williams faced a career-high

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number of shots and was nearly perfect.

Williams finished his first regular season with the purple and gold in the top 10 in both save percentage and goals against average.

The performance by Williams earned him athlete of the week and, more importantly, will most likely solidify him as Coach Puhalski’s game 1 playoff starter.

Laurier was unable to capitalize on Saturday night against the bottom-seeded York Lions as Peter De Coppi scored the game-winner early in the third period and York went on to win 2-1.

The Golden Hawks received a strong performance from Tyler Fassl who stopped 29 of 31 shots.

This performance will make the goaltender situation a little bit more difficult to address for Coach Puhalski as the team gets set for the playoffs.

Williams has played more games

this year then Fassl, but Coach Puhalski has recently been rotating the goalies each game.

With Windsor’s win over Toronto, Laurier was unable to grab a home seed and will look to quickly forget this York game, as they get prepared for the post-season.

Laurier finished the regular season in sixth place in the OUA West and will face the third ranked Guelph Gryphons starting this Thursday in Guelph.

The Golden Hawks are hoping to perform a lot better in the playoffs this year as they come in with some momentum.

Laurier has been swept in the playoffs for two straight years and three out of the last four. Furthermore, the Golden Hawks have lost six playoff games in a row, having not won since a 4-3 victory over Windsor in 2017.

Laurier has also not won or advanced past the first round of a playoff series since the 2010-2011 season when they beat UOIT in the opening round of the 2011 playoffs.

Laurier has split the season series with Guelph this year having beat them at home in October and losing on the road in a memorable Frosty Mug game a few weeks ago.

Game one of the series between the Gryphons and Hawks will start at 7:30p.m. this Thursday at the Gryphons centre, as Laurier will aim for its first road playoff win since beating Guelph in 2013.

Game two will be in Waterloo at the Memorial Recreational Complex at 7:07p.m. and, if needed, a deciding game three will be held back in Guelph on Sunday night at 7.

16 • SPORTS

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2020

SEASON RECAP

Seniors honored as basketball teams end home schedule

KASHYAP PATEL / WEB DIRECTOR

MARK CASCAGNETTE SPORTS EDITOR

Both the men’s and women’s basketball teams ended their home season and have their eyes set towards the playoffs after each playing two games this past week.

It is an exciting time for basketball around the Laurier campus, as both Golden Hawks teams were able to clinch a playoff spot recently and honoured their seniors at their final home game on Friday night.

Both teams were in action at the Athletic Complex on Wednesday and Friday night as the McMaster Marauders and Brock Badgers’ basketball programs visited Waterloo for the first time this year.

Coach Paul Falco and the women’s team played the early game, while Coach Justin Serresse and the men’s team capped the nights off with two highly entertaining games.

Coach Falco and the women’s team were looking to find some offensive consistency this past week but knew the opponents were tough. McMaster is the reigning national champions and Brock was ranked eigth in the country coming into the game.

Laurier was also looking for revenge against the Badgers as they were eliminated from the playoffs last year with a loss to Brock. The first matchup on Wednesday was an uphill battle for the women on the Golden Hawks team.

Laurier was losing for most of the game but kept the contest close deep into the third quarter. McMaster then capitalized on some Laurier mistakes and opened the game up with a 17-4 run to finish the quarter.

On a night where Laurier’s offense shot less then 30 per cent from the field and from threepoint range, they were not able to convert on enough shots to pull off

the comeback.

The setback for Laurier led into a fun Friday night matchup against the nationally ranked Badgers team.

Coach Falco was able to get the most out of his players, as the team put up 70 points, which was their third highest scoring performance this season.

In an intense fast-paced game both teams traded points up and down the court.

Rookie Kate Moran for the Golden Hawks was able to put together one of the best performances of her career as she scored a career high 22 points and grabbed five rebounds.

Moran hit on a few clutch threepoint shots in the third to provide some much needed momentum to the Golden Hawks team while at times looking dominant.

After leading by six points going into the fourth, Laurier was not able to put together a complete quarter and only scored six points in the pivotal final frame. Brock was able to outscore Laurier 23-6 in the final quarter and win the game 80-71, handing the Golden Hawks women’s team their third straight loss.

When asked about the tough Brock team, Coach Falco mentioned their star point guard- Melissa Tatti.

“Their fifth-year point guard is one of the best players in the OUA. As a team they play hard and Tatti is just so good at creating her own shots and creating shots for her teammates,” Coach Falco said after the game.

Tatti who leads the OUA in scoring was unmatched on Friday night and at times un-guardable as she scored 34 points, showcasing her supreme talent.

Laurier also honoured senior Rachel Woodburn at halftime, as she played in her final home game as a Golden Hawk. Woodburn

ranks top-10 in both all-time steals and assists with the Laurier basketball program.

“We will definitely miss Rachel, she is a great team player who has always been committed and is a big part of what we do… it will be big shoes to fill,” said Coach Falco in regards to the void left behind with Rachel leaving.

The team now sits at a record of 9-12 with one game left against Waterloo in what has been a rollercoaster season.

For Coach Justin Serresse and the men’s basketball team they were looking for one more win to clinch their spot in the playoffs.

On Wednesday, Laurier hosted the Marauders who have been eliminated by Laurier in the last two post-seasons.

In an entertaining and tightly contested matchup, the two teams remained neck and neck with each other for most of the game.

Laurier was able to receive contributions from all over their lineup, as they were able to put up their highest scoring game and best offensive performance of the season.

While losing in the fourth quarter Laurier got hot and started shooting lights out. The duo of Matt Minutillo and Romello Taylor led the Golden Hawks on the strength of the three-point shot.

Taylor was able to knock down four three pointers in the quarter, while Minutillo was able to score on three.

The three three-point shots by Minutillo brought his game total to five three-pointers matching his career high.

Minutillo was also able to score his career high in points on Wednesday in one of his final games at the Athletic Complex as he led the Golden Hawks with 25 points.

A 34-point fourth quarter by the Golden Hawks led them to a 104-

93 victory and clinched their ticket to the playoffs once again.

With 12 rebounds and yet another double-double, Kemel Archer was able to mark his spot in the Laurier record books as he became the single-season rebound record holder with over 200 rebounds on the season.

With the playoffs clinched, Coach Serresse and the team focused their attention on two more wins and the ability to host a home playoff game.

A tough Brock defense and a team that Laurier has never beat under Coach Serresse provided a tough challenge.

After Laurier surrendered their 10-point lead in the first half, Brock was up by 10 heading into the fourth quarter.

Once again, the Golden Hawks fought back and were able to have the ball in their hand on the final possession of the game with a chance to force the game into overtime.

With just over 14 seconds left, Ali Sow and Matt Minutillo had a chance to hit the three-point shot to tie the game, however they just missed, and Laurier lost in heartbreaking fashion 76-73 to Brock.

“Brock is a good team, they had the whole week to prepare and we played a tough game on Wednesday, so our guys may have been a bit tired,” Coach Serresse admitted post-game.

“I thought it was just a lack of execution at times, we missed a lot of open shots. Basketball is a game of high and lows, but our lows are a little bit too low right now and I’ve been telling the guys that,” Serresse further stated.

Ali Sow led the way for the Golden Hawks as he scored 28 points including four threes, but the focus of the game was on Matt Minutillo and Kemel Archer who were playing in their final home games with the team.

Both Archer and Minutillo were honoured pre-game as they are graduating following this season.

Kemel Archer has cemented his legacy with over 500 rebounds during his four years with the team, while Minutillo has consistently improved in his time with the team and scored a career high 25 points the game before.

Coach Serresse was joyous when discussing the careers and legacies left behind by both Archer and Minutillo.

“I am so proud of what they were able to achieve here. They are both incredible people and helped the culture here. Matt is a bright, professional and reliable kid as is Kemel. We are going to miss that much more then their skillset,” said Coach Serresse.

“I can’t emphasize enough how great these two young men are.

They were leaders, mentors and big brothers and I’m very excited to have them for at least two more games,” Coach Serresse continued.

Coach Serresse also mentioned that he believes both players have an extraordinarily bright future in their professional life journey.

Currently the team holds a 10-11 record and have one more game left in the regular season.

This Saturday, the Hawks will play Waterloo in the final regular season game.

The team will then hit the road for the playoffs, hoping to recreate the magical run that the team went on last year.

Both the men’s and women’s teams will travel down the road to play the Waterloo Warriros this weekend, with the women playing the first game at 6pm and the men playing the nigh cap at 8pm.

After the games on Saturday, both of Laurier’s teams will await the announcement from the OUA which will announce their first round playoff date, location and matchup.