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Ervin K. Kery – Frank M. Wanderer

The Ultimate Enlightenment How to Find Your True Self in Mindfulness?

EBOOK AVAILABLE AT AMAZON’S ESTORE WWW.CONSCIOUSNESSBOOKS.CF All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronically or mechanically, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission from the publisher. Publisher/Editor: Ervin K. Kery ( , Author: Ervin K. Kery, Frank M. Wanderer (c) Ervin K. Kery (Ervin Keresztes-Kato), Frank M. Wanderer (dr. Ferenc Margitics), 2014

ISBN-13: 978-1500208523 ISBN-10: 1500208523

Who are you beyond your roles in society? Who is contemplating the world through your eyes?

Who is the one who experiences the world through your body? Who is hiding behind your eyes sparkling with life? Who are you in reality?

I. CONSCIOUSNESS: THE ULTIMATE MISTERY There is a mysterious human dimension, the recognition of which shatters all our ideas about who we are, where we come from and what our mission in this world is. This is the realm of Consciousness: the Ultimate Mistery..

The Rise and Fall of the Tyrant By Frank M. Wanderer We live here on this Earth, in the world of individual ”Selves.” We dwell in the empire of seven billion separate and isolated ego-s, and in the domain of the Ego we tend to forget about the Miracle. The Ego only pursues its own dreams and ambitions, and so it very often embitters our life. We must face reality: there is a tyrannical ”small ego” in everybody’s head, and this small ego keeps

grumbling and complaining all the time. It is a dissatisfied, possessive small ego that often makes our life a misery. It is for certain that this small ego– or, more precisely, what we believe is our Self, our Ego–coiled up tightly in the back of our mind, is responsible for a tremendous amount of senseless and unnecessary suffering and destruction in the history of mankind. The Birth of the Ego Ego, as the organizing and controlling centre of our personality, is responsible for creating a balance between the individuals and their environment. In these efforts, Ego is assisted by two other components of our personality: Persona (that is, the ”role personality”) and the Shadow. These two components fulfill a protective function, as Persona screens potentially harmful effects from the external world, whereas the Shadow does the same with threats arising from the unconscious. These components together constitute the identity of the person. A baby does not yet have a personality, an Ego, an identity separate from their mother. For a baby, the world is a mixture of tastes, voices, colours, forms and impressions, the elements of which are indiscernible. There is no Self and non-Self, a baby still lives in an unconscious unity. As a consequence of urging bodily needs to be satisfied and unavoidable clashes with the external world, with ”reality,” the harmony between the baby and the outside world will be disrupted. The baby learns to walk, and the world

opens up for them. They learn to speak, which will open up social life. In this way, the baby will be gradually detached from the mother, and a separate ”Self”emerges in them, and the Ego is thus born. With the acquisition of the ability of speech, the child increasingly identifies with their name. "Little Stevie is hungry!"–the child says, and gradually learns the concept of ”me” and ”mine.” The child is increasingly convinced that the more they possess and the more often they assert their own will, the stronger their own personality will be. That is how the Ego emerges, the attention turns away from the Miracle and the Consciousness submerges into that dream. The world is becoming larger and larger for the child, they possess more and more, and the Ego grows and becomes stronger. Then follows the kindergarten age, when the child learns to play and assume roles, thus shaping and developing the Persona, that is, the role personality, creating the beginnings of the masks they are going to wear later. In the unconscious, the Shadow is being formed in parallel with the masks. The patterns of behavior rejected by the adults in the child’s environment will sink into subconscious, as these patterns are in opposition to the role and mask of the ”good child.” That is how the methods of unconscious operation of the Ego take shape. The Rise of the Tyrant

When the child gets to school, they learn more and more–often unconsciously–from the adults, from parents, teachers, and unquestioningly accepts everything told them by the grown-up people that the child considers omniscient. When the child grows and becomes older, they fully identify with their ideas, name and gender, with the masks they have acquired, their qualifications, titles, job and property, learns stories, and their personal life story will be a part of their Ego, increasing the content of that Ego.

EBOOK AVAILABLE AT AMAZON’S ESTORE WWW.CONSCIOUSNESSBOOKS.CF And the Ego wants to possess more and more, wants to become more and more powerful. More knowledge, more faith, more material wealth. The Ego wants to devour more and wants to do it more anxiously. That is how the Ego becomes a tyrant and dominates our life to an increasing extent. The Ego identifies with the human being, a ”special species” that has privileges on Earth where all creatures live, and humans are destined to rule over all other creatures. They want to conquer and subdue nature, then they are alienated and separated from nature, though they should be an organic and inseparable part of it–in fact, identical with it.

Ego (which is but a mental production, a system of beliefs) confronts the deep-rooted, natural program of life, instincts, emotional warning signs, and chases them away, replacing them with neurosis, stress and a burnt-out state. What is more, in certain cases it is even able to destroy the individual in a variety of ways. It also confronts the external world ("Let us conquer Earth!"), the extermination of species, violence, wars and ecological disasters show the path of man on Earth. Terrorists, religious fundamentalists, nations fighting wars of conquests, power maniac politicians and uninhibited business people–they are all representatives of the overgrown Ego. Our entire culture and civilization rest upon the selfish and possessive Ego and, as the Ego created the institutions of society, these institutions are also the expressions of the Ego. The Downfall of the Ego The social and ecological crises that threaten mankind and our Earth force us to make a choice. We must reach beyond our Ego-dominated mind programs, because if we fail to do that, we will eventually destroy ourselves and a large part of the world! The Ego must therefore fall, as it is against the evolutionary development of the Consciousness. The downfall of the Ego may take place in two ways: a beautiful, dignified way or a painful one, full of suffering. But both ways will take us to the same goal: the Miracle, the awakening Consciousness.

We are very well acquainted with the journey full of pain. A basic aspiration of every Ego is growth, to become larger, stronger and more solid in the world of forms and shapes. It wants to posses more, to get higher and higher in the hierarchic structure of the world, and it wants to conquer a larger and larger territory. Under the spell of the forms and shapes, the Ego devotes all its energy to make the forms constant, disregarding the only constant law of the forms and shapes: every form is transient, and everything is subject to birth and death. The Ego intends to elevate the forms (including its own form) to eternity, which is impossible. This intention of the Ego will be the source of all sufferings, because its world of forms and shapes shall collapse like a sandcastle after a while, until death snatches away the last of the forms: its body from it. It came empty-handed from Nothing, and that is how it is going to return there. The only treasure it could take along with it is its wakefulness, but the Ego considers that worthless in the world of forms and shapes, as it was not a means of increasing the tyrannical power the Ego. The Spiritual Renaissance The better, more attractive way leading to the rediscovery of the Miracle, begins around the middle of the human life, when the individual, under the effects of their experience, tends to recognize the operating mechanisms of the Ego and realizes how tyrannical the Ego is. The person then turns away from forms

and shapes towards transcendental world, free of forms. That is what one of the most famous psychologist, Carl Gustav Jung, called the spiritual birth of man. That spiritual birth starts with the recognition that most people only make in articulo mortis: that turning away from the Miracle and identification with the forms and shapes is the reason for all our sufferings. A person making that recognition gradually gives up their identification with the forms and shapes, and steps back from the whirling of the world into a more quiet area. In this way they will be more alert to themselves and their environment. The clear sky of Consciousness will be contaminated by fewer and fewer clouds, giving way to the return to the Miracle of Consciousness. In the space of Consciousness, in the state of pure consciousness the person recognizes and clearly experiences that Ego is a fraud. The Ego calls itself real and the only existing ”Self,” though it is nothing more than a conceptual product, the continually changing content of the space of Consciousness that diverts our attention from experiencing the only reality: the Miracle. The spiritual ”newborn” in the pure state of consciousness, in meditation, in the wakeful state of focusing on itself, seeks and searches that complaining and arrogant, constantly chatting Ego in its mind, but finds it nowhere. The individual penetrates all the way to the source of that voice, but

when they attempt to grab it, it slips away and vanishes. The internal monologue, the voice of Ego stops and disappears, it is lost into No-thingness, and the person experiences that there is not other ”Self” but the Consciousness. The individual will then realize that the only natural remedy against the paranoid overgrowing of the Ego is wakefulness and attention. This is the beginning of a life of different quality: experiencing the Miracle, which is salvation for the entire mankind. First as pre-historic people we recognized our bodily needs, in the Middle Ages we experienced extreme emotions, in the modern age we worship the power of the mind, and now we are on the threshold of a new period in evolution. We recognize that beyond the realm of sensations, emotions and thoughts there is a wakeful, attentive, loving, conscious, factual ”something”–and that ”Something,” that Miracle is me. That is how the human race, waking to Consciousness from the dream of the Ego, is born again.


The Awakening of the Thinking Machine By Frank M. Wanderer & Ervin K. Kery

Please, carry out a simple, nonetheless astonishing experiment: Take a watch or a stopwatch, and decide that you are not going to think for a while, as long as you are able to do so! Well, how long has it taken until the first thought slipped into your mind? 5-10 seconds? Are you able to avoid thinking for minutes? You will be astonished: you are incapable of not thinking. Thinking takes place, it happens to you. The thought thinks you, and it is not you who thinks it. You do not do it at will (if it depended it on your will, you could simply avoid thinking), and you are unable to suppress thinking or keep it under control. We are proud of capable of thinking, as this is what elevates us above the animal kingdom, and our personal identity is also rooted in our thoughts to a large extent. Philosopher René Déscartes declared ”I think, therefore I am.” But is this really thinking that makes us what we are? Would we exist if we did not think? If we devote some time to monitoring our thoughts, we soon realize that thoughts in our mind keep shifting and changing: a thought appears, then it vanishes, and is replaced by another thought, linked, associated to the previous one–that is how thoughts stream continually, without a stop. Where is this vast stream of thoughts coming from, how has that stream become the foundation of our identity?

The Unconscious Deep Programs of the Mind When we come to this world as newborn babies, we do not have thoughts, we only have an unconsciously experienced uniform experience. From that, the world of forms and shapes gradually unfolds and, with the help of the language, we learn to categorize our experiences, to put them into conceptual pigeonholes. ”She is mother, that is a tree, and this here is a house.” The language appears, and together with it, the thoughts. As small children we are extremely open to the outside world, we want to know all about it, we want to conquer it. But we have very little experience in connection with the world, so we apply to the adults around us: parents and teachers. The adults are pleased and willing to tell us how the world works– that is, the way they perceive the world, with their own eyes and in their own beliefs. We are fed partial, fragmented pieces and bits of information, and that is what we devour and believe without hesitation–the program of a system of beliefs. These explanations run like some sort of a programs in the child’s mind. Children are willing to accept unconditionally what they hear from the adults, who are, in a child’s mind, authorities like a God or a sorcerer. Children believe that in this way they will be able to understand the world around them. Parents, kindergarten nurses, teachers, the priests of the congregation and later politicians–who were previously programmed by their own parents,

teachers, priests and politicians in a similar manner– form ideas in the children’s minds that are presented as unquestionable truths. These ideas are fixed in the subconscious parts of our minds as a complex system of beliefs that are built upon each other as complementary elements and determine how we see the world and how we act in it. The beliefs function as hypnotic programs in the computer of the mind, and we are hardly able to resist them. What I have already believed, what is a part of my own ideas, is something that I do not question, that is ”my own truth” and I live my life according to those truths. Our beliefs and convictions are like programs running automatically in the hardware of a computer. These systems of beliefs that have been installed into us will then do strange things to us. As these are usually unconscious rules, they tend to largely inhibit our creativity. Our beliefs clearly determine what we should think and do and how we should think and do that. I cannot do this, I should not do that, I should not be thinking like that, and must not feel this etc. A number of the programs are "good" and ethical, as these prevent the impulsive and aggressive outbursts of the Ego, the small ”Self” but, unfortunately, most of the programming is harmful, since these systems of beliefs make us predictable and easy to control. The Phantom who Lives in Us and Says that it is Us

It is important to understand that during most of our life we are asleep, we live in deep narcosis. Even when our eyes are open, we are still in the dreams of our thoughts, in the imaginary world of our desires and fears, and we are no fully aware of the depths of the present moment. The pure space of Consciousness is shrouded with the clouds of more and more thoughts, the thoughts are joined with emotions, and the thoughts and emotions develop into intricate systems of beliefs which, in the end, cover up the entire space of Consciousness–keeping it in a narcosis, in the narcosis of the systems of beliefs until the end of the person’s life. Inside the Consciousness a condensed core of thoughts is generated: the Ego, a phantom that does not even have an existence of its own. It is but a mere idea, which calls itself ”ME!” Through selfobservation and meditation you are able to look beyond thoughts, in search of your thinking Self, and you are surprised to find that the voice chattering in your head is not somebody, it does not have an existence of its own, it is just a bundle of the systems of beliefs and the emotions connected to these. Expressions like "my religion," "my tribe," "my country,” "my faith," or "my principles" indicate how deeply we identify with some sort of a system of beliefs. So much so that we do not even know who is ”I,” because we fully identify with a role, with the ideological mask we are wearing. Waking up from the Hypnotic Dream

It is worth monitoring our thoughts. At all times and under every circumstance. Especially when we need to make a decision in an apparently important issue. We then may observe that though we make a seemingly rational decision, the decision is in fact based upon the systems of beliefs petrified in us. We cannot speak about free will and freedom when we are the captives of some dogma: it is the dogma that makes the decision. For us and instead of us! Let us make a habit out of examining our thoughts! Let them emerge, and let us contemplate them peacefully–but keep a little distance from them. We should not believe our thoughts, we should not believe in the absolute truth of our thoughts. We must realize that they are only the ”tentacles” of the systems of beliefs that wind themselves around us and eventually strangle us. Free ourselves from the obligation of confusing our systems of beliefs with absolute truths. Watch carefully your thoughts, derived from our beliefs, and notice that they keep us in some sort of a dazed state, a hypnosis. Once we have experienced that, we are free to wake up from a hypnosis of thousands of years. Unleash the self-inhibiting beliefs in order to– finally!–allow Life, the Miracle emerge in us and through us.

Who You Really Are? By Ervin K. Kery

EBOOK AVAILABLE AT AMAZON’S ESTORE WWW.CONSCIOUSNESSBOOKS.CF The Mysteries of our Body Our sensory organs tell us that our body is solid and permanent. In reality, however, our body changes permanently, like the currents of a river. Upon taking a breath, atoms arrive into our body, they are incorporated into our cells, and the same amount leaves our body when we breathe out. 98% of the atoms of our body is replaced in a period shorter than a year: the liver is completely renewed in 6 weeks, the skin in days, the bones are fully replaced in 3 months, and the genetic endowment DNA is renewed in 6 weeks. The atoms of your body as it existed a year ago are now all outside of your present body: in the atmosphere, in the soil or incorporated into other living organisms, grass and trees... that is how the entire planet recycles itself in a perpetual cycle. We live in close interconnection and interaction with all other things, everything is in the state of a constant change and transformation. The only permanent thing is change. We still tend to experience the permanence of our Self. Is it possible that we are not identical with our body? In the Captivity of Thoughts

What are thoughts? The philosopher Descartes announced that, ”I think, therefore I am!” This erroneous assumption influences our identity even in the present day. Our thoughts, just like the cells of our body, are constantly replaced with new ones; a thought emerges and then vanishes, and new thoughts and ideas, associated with the previous one, appear in a constant stream. Among the thought there is a small gap, a little space. This space is the space of Consciousness, in which a thought can appear. We are proud of being able to think. But are we really the ones who think? Are we really in control of our thoughts, are we the ones who intend to think? In the experiment described in the chapter titled ”The Awakening of the Thinking Machine,” we demonstrate that it is not we who think, but the thoughts keep us under control with its compelling force. It is the constant stream of thoughts that cover up the existence of the Consciousness. That is why Mediaeval mysticists used to say, ”Between you and God there is only a thought.” The Pitfall of our Emotions Emotions work in a similar manner: they emerge and vanish in the space of the Consciousness. Emotions, at the same time, influence our lives to a large extent: they are able to generate lasting addiction. Every emotion has its own neuropeptide, a type of hormone, which is created by the brain and sent to our cells through the circulation of blood.

These peptides are very powerful chemicals, and if they kep bombarding our cells for an extended period of time, they induce addiction. Once you have become addicted, you will unconsciously strive to create situations in your life in which you are able to satisfy your addiction. If you are, for instance, an anger-addict, you will seek situations in which the ”anger-peptide” addiction of your cells will be satisfied. Our body is not constant, it is continually renewed– we therefore cannot be identical with our body. Our emotions and thoughts are not constant either. What we refer to as ”Self,” on the other hand, exists permanently. The time has come to ask the question: if we are identical neither with the constantly changing body nor with the similarly changing thoughts and emotions, WHO WE REALLY ARE? The Realm of Consciousness





By now, science has studied the world down to the tiniest detail: the human body was dissected, to organs and to cells, way down to the cell nucleus. But when the parts of the body were put together again, only a lifeless puppet was there–life somehow escaped in the course of dissection. We know everything about the structure of the eyes of a common mouse, all that knowledge is there, wrapped up in Latin terms, figures, statistics and equations. But the thing we still know only very little of, and

what is likely one of the last great challenges for the science of the 21st century is Consciousness itself. Two young fish are swimming and they meet an elder fish. ”The water is very pleasant today, isn’t it?” the elder fish greets them politely. The two young fish swim on, and after a while one of them asks. ”Water? What is water?” Consciousness is through and by which we live and experience ourselves and the surrounding world. Since we ”swim” in it, we are unable to recognize it. Consciousness is the space itself in which sensations, emotions and thoughts appear, and the mental image we create of the world is projected into the immense space of the Consciousness. Sensations, emotions and thoughts keep streaming into our Consciousness, and as we focus on these contents, we ignore the space itself, which is the container of the contents. This conscious space is our ultimate Self. Once the form has been used up and is no longer suitable for the one and only Life to live Its life through it and experience Itself through that particular form, the Life sheds the form and assumes a new one to experience itself in a different form. The more forms It identifies with, the more experience It gathers about Its own individual characteristics. It is most easily approached through paradoxical statements, like: It Exists and is still beyond

existence. Only It exists, the forms coming into being in It are all transient and, as they are temporary, transient, they are in fact but illusions. It is more difficult to describe It in traditional concepts: it is not possible to learn anything about It; we are only able to experience It in a direct way. Perhaps that is why Jewish mysticists said that it is not possible to pronounce God’s name, and that is why the commandment of the Christians says, ”Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” Buddha never spoke about God, because he was sure that once he had called It God, his followers would identify It with beliefs and concepts they create about God. The one and only existing ”something”–which remains a mystery forever–the human mind is unable to comprehend as It is beyond comprehension: It is the knower of all thoughts, the mysterious Consciousness.

Consciousness: the Ultimate Mystery By Ervin K. Kery Tasting a Newly Consciousness




Have you ever been thinking about what is hiding behind your eyes, contemplating the world through your eyes? What is the thing that is experiencing its environment through your body? What is the thing that is familiar with your emotions and also knows your thoughts? Please, in this very moment turn your

attention to the intellect reading these lines! Watch for the observer hiding in you! What you may find is an existing, real ”something,” and not some abstract metaphysical concept, new age, esoteric or religious-dogmatic thing that you must believe in. You do not need to believe in it, as it is there in everybody as an alert, intelligent space. It is possible to experience it directly. This is a new concept that has so far escaped our attention. This is, in fact, the only existing dimension into which the objects and forms of the external world are projected, and that is where we experience our bodily sensations, emotions and thoughts, which are no more than the phenomena of this dimension. There are basically three–entirely different–states of consciousness: Basic, ordinary state of consciousness, which is unaware of the space in which patterns and forms (an image of the world, thoughts, emotions and feelings) appear. The state of identifying with the world free from forms and shapes: initiated, mystic or spiritual disciplines call this state ”divine.” The experience of completeness, which is equally aware of the domain of forms and shapes and the world free of form.

The state of identifying with the forms and shapes has been dealt with in detail in the chapter entitled the ”Mystery of Ordinary Consciousness,” so in the following we intend to focus on the other two. Space as a Reality which is Hard to Understand We do not sense the space in which the forms appear, since our attention is diverted by our identification with the forms, the emotions and thoughts. Our like or dislike of various forms prevents us from experiencing the space of the forms and shapes. We are abandoned in the play so much that the stage as such ceases to exist for us. It is a familiar experience that while we are watching a movie that we find exciting, we tend to forget that it is only a movie, a virtual reality. We are so deeply involved in the magic of the images that we experience intensive emotions: we shed tears when the protagonist dies, though all this is just an illusion. The only real thing is the movie screen. Relax, and release all thoughts and emotions whirling in you. Look around! Look at the objects surrounding you. With your eyes, scan all the objects in your environment and take notice of them. Then concentrate on the empty space separating the objects! Sense the ”nothing” between the objects, the space in which the objects appear. Sense as the objects emerge from the space. Watch for the space! It appears to be a simple exercise but sometimes we encounter unexpected difficulties. Although we are

intellectually aware that objects exist in a space, we are still unable to focus on the space itself, as we consider space as emptiness, as nothing. As reasonable creatures, we cannot comprehend the concept of ”nothing.” We believe that space is ”nothing,” and we do not pay attention to the ”nothing,” to the non-existent, though we are aware that space must exist. If space did not exist, objects would be scattered on each other, and we would not be able to separate and identify them. This very gap between things, this spaciousness enables the objects to appear separately, and this is the way we are able to take notice of the objects around us. Our culture recognizes material, substance the only existing reality, and places material into the focus of its attention. Everything material is important for us, and what is not of material nature will be ignored. Our conscious attention is directed towards material, and space around the material is considered as nonexistent. It is, however, space in which all creatures appear, it is the silence on the surface of which sound dance, and Consciousness in which conscious images–thoughts, emotions and images of the world– appear. There is no form without space and there is no space without forms–forms appear in space, and every form exists in a surrounding space. That is what Buddha asserts in the famous Heart Sutra: "Form is emptiness, and emptiness is form." The Miracle of Space

Once we are able to concentrate on the gap–space– between the objects, a strange change of state of consciousness takes place in us. We experience the same emotion as we do when we concentrate on the attention hiding inside us. You identify with the thing your attention is focusing on. Before concentration, all observed, experienced things are of material nature: solid furniture, our own solid body; we only sense things that are manifested– we are deeply involved in the material world and all its details: the mutual transformation of things and phenomena into each other. Once we are able to concentrate on our own attention or on the space between the objects, our state of consciousness changes, and we have a peculiar experience that challenges all our previous systems of beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. We experience an entirely new dimension of ourself, and this dimension is in fact and ancient, indescribable, intelligent, living, endless space, space-like emptiness, in which bodily sensations, emotions and thoughts as well as material objects appear and vanish, like the waves on the surface of the ocean. We know that it exists, it is the one and only Life, and at the same time it is the essence in us we call ”I” (The ”I am–sensation”). It exists as an ancient, living empty space, a Consciousness conscious of its own existence that comprises everything. Nothing exists

outside it, and everything that exists is born inside it: within its space and as its own manifestation. This state is characterized by tranquility, deep silence, peace and all-permeating love. We know that this mysterious ”something” is beyond time, it does not have a beginning and end, it was never born and it will never die. If there are no forms and shapes inside it, it will not be conscious of itself, it simply, ”passively” exists, in a sort of dreamless sleep. Once it has created forms and shapes, it will awake to the existence of the forms and, as it recognizes itself as the creator of the forms and shapes, it will awake to its own existence, too.

EBOOK AVAILABLE AT AMAZON’S ESTORE WWW.CONSCIOUSNESSBOOKS.CF It creates forms and shapes in Its own space, in the space of the Consciousness, It permeates the forms and appears as life in them, and plays the role and life of the forms.

Self-Image, a Bit Differently By Frank M. Wanderer We request you to have a brief rest on your Journey and play with us for a few minutes. What you need is a blank sheet of paper, a pen, and half an hour of free time. If you have all these, the game may start! Let’s Play!

Before starting, please divide the sheet into four equal parts, and number the parts clockwise, starting in the upper left corner. The first task is to ask yourself the question: What Do I Think of Myself? Who am I? What kind of a person am I? How could I describe myself? In box no. 1 enter all thoughts that you have about yourself. It is important to answer not only the question “Who am I?” (e. g. I am a human being, a man, woman, husband etc.) but also to the question “What kind of a person am I?” (e. g. I am honest, I do not forgive easily etc.). If you have a break, you do not have any idea for a few minutes, no problem; do not give up. Be patient, perhaps some important information that you have not yet written down, will come to your mind. If nothing important comes, finish the task. The next turn in the game is to count how many expressions you have used to characterize yourself. Enter the figure into the lower left corner. When ready, examine the terms and decide whether they are positive, negative or neutral. In the end, count the positive, negative and neutral terms you have used to describe yourself. Write these numbers into the lower right corner.

As the second task of the game, ask yourself the following question: What kind of a person I would like to be? Enter every idea that comes to your mind about it into box no. 2 on the sheet. When you have run out of ideas, finish the exercise. As the third task of the game, ask yourself this question: What kind of a person would other people (my husband, wife, children, boss etc.) like to see me? In box no. 3 of the sheet write down every idea that occurs to you about this question. When you have run out of ideas, finish the exercise. As the fourth task of the game, ask yourself this question: What kind of a person am I in other people’s eyes? In box no. 4 of the sheet write down every idea that occurs to you about this question. When you have run out of ideas, finish the exercise. If you have some more time, you can do this task together with your wife, husband, children, friends etc. In this way you will be given a more detailed image of what kind of a person others see you.

When the four numbered fields of the paper are no longer empty in front of you, the first part of the game is completed. These are notions and ideas, obtained with the questions, that constitute your image of yourself. Why is the Self-Image Important? Before continuing the game, let us have a look at the self-image and its role in our life. Self-image is the mental image that we have about ourself. The first thing we notice about this image is that it consists of several components. One of the important components is the actual selfimage. This is the cluster of the characteristics that we can use to describe ourselves at the actual moment. In the first half of our game we dealt with this actual self-image, this is what the answers in box no.1 of your sheet contain. The actual self-image has two major dimensions. One is the complexity of the self-image. Look at the number of the terms you used to characterize yourself (figure in the lower left corner). The higher that number is, the more terms you find on the page, and the more complex, more elaborate your self-image is. The other dimension of the self-image is its quality, that is, whether we talk about a positive or a negative self-image. If you compare the respective numbers of

the positive and negative adjectives you used to describe yourself (figures in the lower right box), you will have an idea about the quality of your self-image. Usually, positive characteristics outnumber negative ones in people’s self-image. If there are no negative adjectives at all, or only very few, next to the positive ones, the self-image of the person concerned is unbalanced, overtly positive. This is the case the other way around, too; that is, if your self-image is too negative. We all make efforts to sustain our self-image once it has evolved, and it is true whether the self-image is positive or negative. It means that a too positive or too negative self-image may distort our sense of reality, as a self-image screens the vast amount of information arriving to us from the outside world, only letting through the items of information that reinforce the quality of our self-image. Therefore, a person with an excessively negative self-image, with a rather low opinion of his/her own person, will be a lot more sensitive to negative opinions and judgments coming from the extarnal world than to any positive feedback. That is also true the other way around. The following component of our self-image is the ideal self-image. That is what we would like to possess. The answers written in box no.2 of your sheet constitute this component of your self-image. Now all you need to do is survey the difference between your actual and ideal self-images. If the difference is small, the ideal image supplies energy, enthusiasm to you, and leads you to the right

direction. But if the difference is large, depression, a sense of failure may overcome you. The third component of our self-image is the “I should have” self-image. It comprises the characteristic features that we believe we should possess (these are largely in connection with commitments, duties and responsibilities). Entries in box no.3 describe these features. Now, examine the difference between your actual self-image and the ”I should have” self-image. If the difference is small, the ”I should have” self-image supplies you pleasant feelings and satisfaction. too large a difference, on the other hand, may cause restlessness and anxiety. The fourth important component of the self-image is the social self-image. It consists of the evaluation of our personality by other people. This is an important point of orientation within the self-image, as we may reinforce or change certain elements of the complete image. The difference between our social self-image and actual self-image is reflected in our selfevaluation. Box no.4 on the answer sheet contains a description of that self-image. Now, your task is to compare your actual self-image and your social selfimage. If there is a harmonic relationship between the two, you tend to see yourself the way other people see you, your self-evaluation and self-esteem are in order. If the difference is too large, your self-evaluation is unstable. That, in turn, determines the quality of your mental and emotional life. A surprising twist


AVAILABLE AT AMAZON’S ESTORE WWW.CONSCIOUSNESSBOOKS.CF Now, that we know everything about self-image, and you have analyzed your own, we may continue the game. Place the answer sheet containing your self-image in front of you. So far, we have been paying our attention to the thoughts and ideas on the sheet. We suggest that now you should focus on the white sheet itself, on which you wrote the ideas. Let us draw your attention to a surprising thing. You are not the carefully elaborated self-image written on the sheet of paper, but the white page itself, the mental space into which the ideas are projected. Consider the truth of that surprising statement. Return your attention to the writing on the page, that is, your self-image. The descriptions belong to the “I am this or that,” “I am like this or that” categories. In the following, we only deal with that category, the self is interesting for us, and disregards its qualities. Now try to find that I. Close your eyes, and turn your attention inward, asking yourself the question: Who am I? Your mental self-image you drafted in the first part of the game pops up in your mind immediately, and says: “You are this and that!” Disregard that now, as

you are familiar with that, analyzed it extensively in the first part of the game. You are now looking for something else. Try to concentrate on the field in which the mental images appear. It may seem to be difficult, the more difficult the more powerfully you have identified with your selfimage, the mental image you believed you were identical with. The fact that you are still doing this exercise means that your self-image no longer completely fills your mental space, you are able to detach yourself from it to some extent. The space thus liberated, and the Presence appearing in it is now observable to you, your attention is able to grab it. Only focus on that space, that Presence, and you will find sour real Self beyond the mind and thoughts.

How can You Discover your Real Self? By Ervin K. Kery When some people are asked the question, ”Who are you?" they begin to tell long and complicated stories about their alleged self: stories that they have learnt or developed about who they are or who they aspire to be. This complicated story about ”me,” one’s possessions, one’s career and experience make a person so individual, that at present 7 billion separate, alienated universes live on Earth, unable to

understand one another, generating a wide range of disputes, skirmishes, animosity, hatred and conflicts. Are we really nothing but our body, emotions, thoughts, life story, career and possessions? If you were not a woman but a man, would you exist? If you did not have a job and property, would you exist even as a homeless person? But of course–many people would say, believing that even under different circumstances they would still live: they would have a body, they would think and experience emotions–and that is what they call ”I.” But are we really a summary of our body, thoughts and emotions? We continually experience emotions, we feel things, and a stream of thoughts runs through our mind at all times. These thoughts and emotions are however, not constant: they come and go, to be replaced by new thoughts and emotions. They change all the time: our childhood thoughts and emotions are entirely different from our present-day ones. Our emotions and thoughts are not permanent. What we term ”I,” on the other hand, exists constantly: from early childhood until death we know that ”we are,” that we ”exist.” Who can that permanent ”I” be? ”I am” There is something eternal in you. When you are born, you do not yet have thoughts, images of yourself and the world, but you still exist. When you were a small child, and the world around you was a constantly changing kaleidoscope of wonders (and

was not like at all the world as you look at it today), you also existed. As a hot-headed teenager you wanted to bring salvation to the world, to conquer everything and everybody (and now you are not like that), well, you existed at that time, too. In the course of your life you have replaced the cells of your body several times; the complexity and depth of your emotions have changed, and so have your thoughts and systems of beliefs, but there has always been something in you that has never ever changed. What has been, and still is, the same, regardless of what you have learnt or imagined about yourself. As a newborn baby and as a dying old man you are aware that you exist, you are. There is something in you that definitely asserts that "I am". This a simply sensation, not acquired, it has been there with you since your birth: you are, you exist unquestionably. The statement "I am" is the onbly statement that contains the absolute truth. And awakening to the awareness of "I am" opens up the most mysterious dimension of our existence. How can you experience the awareness of "I am?” At the beginning, one may start mulling over the meaning of the statement: ”I am, I exist." You compose and utter that you ”are,” then recognize that "look, I really am!" Once you have thoroughly and profoundly experienced the consciousness of "I exist, I exist, I exist" you will not dwell on it any longer, but you release the thought and there remains the certainty of ”I amness.” Abandon yourself into this certainty of ”I am,” and you will understand what a

real abyss there is behind thoughts, behind what appears to be a mere commonplace! I recommend a meditation exercise for this purpose: Make yourself comfortable and relax. Take a few deep breaths, and watch the route of the air, as it enters and leaves through your nostrils. Relax! Watch for the sense ”I am” inside you. Be aware that the knowledge of existence has always been there with you–there was not a single moment when you did not exist. This ”am” awareness follows you through your entire life. Watch for the awareness of being, feel that you exist. If any other idea or thought interferes, remove it and return to the roots of the ”am” feeling. Keep returning to the awareness of ”I am,” and reject any other content that intrudes your mind. If you say ”I am an accountant, a secretary, a leader, a mother,” you should know that all these are just illusions. You exist beyond your assumed roles, you simply exist beyond every role you usually play. If you did not have the actual role that you are playing, you would still exist. Return to the sensation of your existence, this is the only real thing, all other identifications in your life are acquired and temporary. Concentrate all your attention on the sensation of ”I am,” which is a timeless presence. When you are spending your time with the consciousness of ”I am,” you will enter a state that defies a description; it can only be experienced. You exist, and here and now you should only focus on that fact!

This "amness" is looking out through your eyes, this ”amness” is comtemplating the world. It is the one that moves your legs and arms, breathing, understands your thoughts and experiences your emotions. Do not ask questions, do not seek an explanation as to who and what you are: you are what you are, an eternal mystery, an alert existence, the manifestation of life itself. Turn your attention from the experience to the experiencer! What cn be more important: the always present experiencing witness, or the ever-changing experience? Discover yourself through the ”I am” sensation. You are, you exist, so watch for the sensation of your existence. Bear in mind the ”I am” sensation, merge with it until your mind and the sensation are completely united. Sense your existence, your Presence! Feel what is in you and knows that it exists. In the Bible God answers Moses’s question in the following way: ”And God said unto Moses, I Am That I Am: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I Am hath sent me unto you.” Then: “Be still, and know that I am God.” Recognizing the sensation of "I am" is the road to eternity. Jump into the Rabbit Hole!


About the Authors Ervin K. Kery (consciousness researcher, writer, publisher) What is the nature of the human soul, the human spirit? Why do we think the way we actually do? How our habits and roles evolve? What are we, beyond our roles? What is the mysterious Life that lives in me, and experiences the world through me?

I have long been fascinated by the secret of human existence, the mystery of human soul/spirit. There has to be something that is beyond social roles and programming. There has to be a ”foundation,” which lives in me as life, and to which learnt and acquired thoughts and habits, the programmed patterns–the personality–are attached. Psychology, still not a full-fledged science, only studies the conditioned patterns of behavior, that is, the Ego (it is therefore possible to refer to it as the science of the Ego), but it does not address the issues that precede the emergence of the Ego, not does it deal with whatever is beyond the Ego. What is the eternal factor that follows us from our birth to our death, no matter what a mature and powerful personality we believe we have? I have been enthusiastically and anxiously studying the human consciousness for over twenty years,

experimenting with various methods of meditation, hoping that in this way I would finally understand myself and the world completely. This understanding, however, did not come easily. Then something extraordinary happened. When I was deep in my adulthood, a critical period came in my life; everything I had believed in, collapsed. Mulling over the past and the dark visions of the future brought about a lot of suffering, and when I was no longer able to face the internal hell, there was nothing to be done, and I gave up the fight. I was not able to carry the burden of my sufferings any longer. At that time, something mysterious took place, and it shattered all my former ideas about myself and the world. When I finally released all that had been previously, I was able to get over the heavy prison of my personality, and for hours I felt some incredible inner peace, and a curious �something� was contemplating the miraculous external world through me. After a while, however, the tormenting thoughts and the suffering returned. This experience changed me drastically. From that time on, I have focused all my attention to learn what that exceptional experience was, and how it is possible to make that experience constant. In the course of my research I found that the most elementary method of all spiritual disciplines is monitoring the Consciousness living in us. That is what meditation is for, the profound prayer of monks, and the practice of transpersonal psychology. I

therefore began to concentrate on the Consciousness inside me. At that time we purchased a farmhouse in the country, far from the noise of the external world, so I retreated there from Budapest in order to abandon myself into observing my own inner world. I persisted in turning inward: I watched my bodily sensations, my emotions and thoughts and also the actor that senses all these: the Consciousness. As I concentrated my conscious attention on myself, I began to believe my own thoughts, emotions and convictions, and started to wake up from the dream world of dogmas. I woke up, then I woke up again, through a series of awakenings, each time into a more spacious world and a larger image of the world, until what had previously happened spontaneously, took place again. After a few years of practice, the state of observing Consciousness became permanent. In this period I have made several astonishing discoveries about our real Self and the nature of the world. I wish to describe these discoveries in the chapters of this book that I authored and contributed. Websites:, E-mail:

Frank M. Wanderer (Ph.D, Prof. of Psychology, consciousness researcher, writer)

The awakening of the Consciousness leads us from our own personal history to the pure space of Consciousness. There we experience the Miracle, and all personal histories become insignificant. Despite this, I would like to present a few pages of my personal history to the reader, as every journey on the road starts with a personal history. That is the only way it may start, there is no alternative; that is the only way leading to the awakening of the Consciousness, the appearance of the Miracle. Since my early childhood, I have been interested in the Miracle, the mystery of human existence, the mystery that summoned us from the Nothing, and the mystery we are destined to solve in our life. I still remember my beloved mother’s astonished face when, after some of my questions, she turned to the others: “Now, look at that, what that kid is asking!� The questions did not stop in the later years but, as I did not find appropriate partner from whom I could expect answers, the questions mostly remained within the walls of my room, and I myself attempted to find the answers. My motivation became even more powerful after the following adventure: I was at the elementary school (12 years old), walking home from school and

suddenly I experienced the Miracle, the completeness, the experience of the unity with the Self. At that time, naturally, I was not able to describe it that way, but the sense of unity and happiness was what I experienced. That experience did not result in my lasting awakening, it faded away after a while, but it left behind a burning wound, a real sense of want. At the same time, it showed me the way where to look for it answers to my questions. There was a long way to go to the second awakening. The first awakening made me start dealing with esoterica and find books on the subject. Leaving the years of childhood behind, in my adulthood I became intensively interested in human soul, in the work of the human mind. As a teacher and psychologist I have met a lot of people, and had an opportunity to study the �normal� operation of human ego, and also its functions that are considered as not normal. I turned the pages of innumerable books of personal histories, trying to find the cornerstones that give the dramas and ecstasies of these personal histories meaning and sense. I eventually found that cornerstone in the Miracle, in the awakening of the Consciousness, which demonstrated the futility of these personal histories and at the same time it showed the treasure to be found in them.

The personal histories are futile from the aspect of the awakening because we identify with our mind and we allow its unconscious functions to control our life and steer the boat of our life in one, and some time later just the opposite direction, depending on the actual desire or ambition dominating our mind. That is how page after page is filled in the history of our life until the last page arrives, and we realize the futility of all that happened before. Our personal history may, however, have a very profound meaning if we become more wakeful and alert to these mind games, and recognize the Miracle, the wide open spaces of the Consciousness that is beyond our personal history. That pure consciousness was what I experienced as a child, and that is what I found again as a result of my regular meditation exercises that I had started a few years ago. We must therefore wake up from our identification with our personal history, so as to be able to find our identity in the Miracle, the mystery of the Consciousness, instead of the world of the forms and shapes. Contact me at

Our Published Books


The Awakening of Consciousness: Adventures On The Spiritual Path , Authored by Frank M. Wanderer, General editor Ervin K. Kery

6" x 9" (15.24 x 22.86 cm), 122 pages ISBN-13: 978-1495200557 ISBN-10: 1495200558 We are all on a spiritual journey. This journey starts with birth and ends with death. Our life is a link between our date of birth and date of death. A link that contains all the secrets, dramas, tragedies and comedies of our lives, and we are so deeply involved in this performance that we tend to forget who we really are: the shining Consciousness. This book is about this spiritual journey. The Miracle of Consciousness: Explore your Real Self!

Authored by Ervin K. Kery, Frank M. Wanderer

5" x 8" (12.7 x 20.32 cm), 158 pages ISBN-13: 978-1499115451 ISBN-10: 1499115458 There is a mysterious human dimension, the recognition of which shatters all our ideas about who we are, where we come from and what our mission in this world is. This is the realm of Consciousness: the final scientific and spiritual mystery. This book is about the mysteries and miracles of Consciousness. About the living spirit in action which, dressed up in the machinery of your body, discovers itself and the wonders of the world.

The Ultimate Enlightenment: How to Find Your True Self in Mindfulness? Authored by Ervin K. Kery and Frank M. Wanderer

Format: e-book (Kindle). 2.99 USD Who are you beyond your roles in society? Who is contemplating the world through your eyes? Who is the one who experiences the world through your body? Who is hiding behind your eyes sparkling with life? Who are you in reality? Jump into your True Self! View/Buy at Amazon:

The Biggest Obstacle to Enlightenment: How to Escape from the Prison of Mind Games? Authored by Frank M. Wanderer

Format: e-book (Kindle). 2.99 USD What is the Ego? What are the Games Rooted in the Deepest Levels of the Mind? What are the Tricks of the Mind Reinforcing the Ego? The Mind-based Scenario of Our Spiritual “Development�. The Tricks of the Spiritual Ego. The Ego accompanies the Seeker along the first segment of the Journey. In this book I intend to discuss this, as being familiar with the functions and games of the mind with an Ego is indispensable for identifying whether we are on the right track.



Ervin K. Kery - Frank M. Wanderer: The Ultimate Enlightenment (FREE EBOOK)  

Ervin K. Kery - Frank M. Wanderer: The Ultimate Enlightenment (FREE EBOOK) excerpt from the book: The Miracle of Consciousness available at...

Ervin K. Kery - Frank M. Wanderer: The Ultimate Enlightenment (FREE EBOOK)  

Ervin K. Kery - Frank M. Wanderer: The Ultimate Enlightenment (FREE EBOOK) excerpt from the book: The Miracle of Consciousness available at...