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No budging in budget P. 2

spoof

What’s Buzz gotten himself into now?

A Concordian special insert

the students have spoken

Tuesday, March 27, 2012 Top photo by Navneet Pall, bottom photos by Sophia Loffreda

life Finding the perfect mate in cyberspace P. 7

music A First Aid Kit that soothes your musical woes P. 20

editorial March 22 was a great day for the CSU P. 25

Volume 29 Issue 26

p. 4-5

Csu general assembly fails to meet quorum Vote for a continuation of strike adjourned until further notice Joel Ashak Co-news editor Unlike its March 7 predecessor, the second general assembly held on Monday by the Concordia Student Union to vote on continuing the strike was met with little success.

While about 2,000 students were present at the first GA, less than 300 showed up on the Reggie’s terrace for the outdoor GA organized by the

CSU. After more than an hour of waiting in the cold and windy afternoon, the CSU still had not met the minimum of 450 registrations in order to carry out the vote. Around 3:30 p.m., CSU Chair Nick Cuillerier announced only 12 students had registered in the past hour and declared the GA adjourned.

“It’s a disappointing turnout, unfortunately, and it wasn’t meant to be,” said Cuillerier. “There was a very small amount of time between the calling of the general assembly and the general assembly itself compared to the previous assembly which had six weeks of notice and preparation.”

Shortly after the GA, about 100 students orga-

nized a sit-in on the 7th floor of the Hall building and started passing around a new petition to call for a third GA. While undergraduates as a whole are no longer on strike, individual faculty departments are still holding strike GAs and are organizing mobilization movements on their own.

Yesterday’s adjournment struck some motions off the agenda specifically for that GA. Notably, the motion to pass the minimum agreement, which would prevent the CSU from denouncing the actions of other student associations, as well as requiring that all student associations be present when negotiating with the government.

Continued on P. 6

theconcordian.com

news 2

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Write to the editors: news@theconcordian.com

City in brief Joel Ashak

CEGEP occupiers face charges

A group of 29 protesters who participated in an overnight occupation of CEGEP du Vieux-Montréal last month are facing charges for allegedly participating in acts of violence and vandalism, The Gazette reported.

The occupation-type protest took place on Feb. 16, the day of a vote for a general strike, after protesters barricaded the entrance of the building and refused to leave the premises despite warnings from the police.

The SPVM then carried out an eviction order and reported several acts of vandalism inside the building. One of the protesters faces charges of assault against police officers, two are charged with mischief for allegedly preventing other people from having access to the school, while all of them face counts of participating in an unlawful assembly. The damages to the building are estimated at $5,000.

Health minister finds crash victim

Quebec Health Minister Yves Bolduc found himself forced to perform a morbid task last Saturday, after he stopped on the highway to offer his help to the victim of a crash. A motorist’s vehicle had veered off the highway and slammed into an overpass pillar. Bolduc, who is also a medical doctor, passed by the crash site while driving on Highway 20 and stopped to help the victim, only to find the motorist had suffered fatal injuries.

Bolduc could not do anything but confirm the death.

Right to die

The Dying With Dignity Committee, a multi-partisan group of nine Quebec MNAs, released a report in the National Assembly last Thursday recommending that doctors be allowed, in exceptional cases, to help terminally-ill patients end their lives if they desire. After two years of research, the committee produced a 180-page report on assisted suicide and made 24 recommendations, one of them being that doctors who exercise euthanasia should not be charged in court. Euthanasia and assisted suicide are illegal in Canada under the Criminal Code and the report could very well revive a national debate that has been continuously surfacing in courts over the past few years.

Blame it on the alcohol

A local Montreal bar, Le Pionnier, was told by Quebec’s liquor control board that it will need to cut down on the hip hop if it expects to stay afloat. The bar, which used to feature live hip-hop and rap performances, was put in a tight spot when owners were faced with the choice between their liquor licence and their music.

Angry bar-goers have called this selective ban a form of discrimination and are advocating a boycott of the bar. The owners of Le Pionnier stated that they weren’t clear on what exactly the root of the problem was, but faced with the choice, their priority would be to keep the doors open.

CSU

A Better Concordia on the horizon CSU election results require only one recount Kalina Laframboise & Marilla Steuter-Martin Staff writer & Co-news editor Concordia Student Union elections have come to a close, with the entire A Better Concordia affiliation coming out on top, and only one recount scheduled for the position of president.

Presidential candidate and affiliation leader Schubert Laforest stated that he was “shocked” and in a state of “complete joy” that all seven team members were elected.

He went on to say that he wasn’t surprised by the 28-vote difference between him and opponent Melanie Hotchkiss, leader of Concordia Could Be. Chief electoral officer Ismail Holoubi, who said the elections “went smoothly,” confirmed that a recount for the position would take place Tuesday, March 27.

“I knew my office would be very close,” he said. “[Melanie Hotchkiss] is a formidable opponent.”

PRESIDENT Schubert Laforest 758 Melanie Hotchkiss 730

Schubert Laforest said he knew the results would be close.

Hotchkiss, for her part, spoke about how “terrible” it was to see such low voter turnout in the election.

“The last two years I got more than 730 votes. I got almost double the votes as a councillor,” she said.

The A Better Concordia affiliation includes Andrew Roberts for VP sustainability, Stefan Faina for VP Loyola, Simon-Pierre Lauzon for VP external affairs, Lucia Gallardo for VP academic and advocacy, Keny Toto for VP finance, Alexis Su-

zuki for VP student life and Nadine Atallah for VP clubs and internal affairs.

Laforest said that he felt his new executive would be at a major advantage considering they have existing relationships and developed many of their ideas together.

“We learned about our team dynamic,” he continued. “How we operate under pressure, how to be most effective as an executive.”

Having had the day to let the news sink in, Laforest said that he

is ready to start preparing for the job ahead.

“We’re going to hit the ground running,” he said. “Now it’s time to prove ourselves to our supporters and our critics.”

Current CSU President Lex Gill has already contacted Laforest regarding his formal training this May for the year ahead.

“I told him it would take a lot more than a month to figure this job out so we should meet soon,” Gill said. “The training is important. A lot of this job is thankless and invisible. There’s stuff to get done.”

Gill went on to say the future CSU president shouldn’t feel intimidated by the administration or the Board of Governors. “You have to fight to be an equal,” she said.

In terms of advice, Gill emphasized the importance of the CSU executive working well together.

“So much of it is respecting your team,” she continued. “Your executives become a lot like a family.”

Another result of the election was the successful fee levy increase for campus food co-op Le Frigo Vert, with 954 votes in favour and 660 against.

For full election results, visit theconcordian.com.

Government

Very little mention of youth in Quebec budget Groups frustrated with government’s stance on tuition, lack of dialogue Sarah Deshaies Quebec bureau chief QUEBEC CITY (CUP) — Despite an ongoing outcry from many students and their supporters, the Quebec government is sticking to its guns when it comes to hiking tuition.

The 2012–13 budget, released March 20 by Finance Minister Raymond Bachand, is designed to bring fiscal balance by next year. It follows the March 2011 education plan that calls for a 25-per-cent hike in revenue for universities by raising tuition, increasing government spending and encouraging universities to seek out more donations and sources of funding.

Student representatives present at the budget lockup were disappointed and angered by the result.

“We’re very frustrated to see that the government right now is [seeing] students as second-class citizens,” said Martine Desjardins, president of the Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec. “It’s very frustrating that the government is not listening to the next generation.”

“There is no dialogue, there is no possibility to talk with this government. Obviously, people are going to

be more and more angry,” said Gabriel Nadeau-Dubois, spokesperson for the Coalition large de l’Association pour une solidarité syndicale étudiante.

For Quebec’s university undergraduates, who pay some of the lowest tuition fees in Canada, the university funding plan has meant that tuition will increase by $1,625 over five years, beginning with a $325 increment this fall. The added projected revenue leads to an obvious increase in next year’s budget numbers: in the 2011–12 school year, students paid $753 million for their education, but in 2012–13, students’ total contribution will be an estimated $804 million — an increase of $95 million.

In all, the total revenue for universities, which includes tuition, government funds, grants, other revenue streams and donations, is expected to be $4.26 billion in 2012–13. That’s an increase of $142 million from 2011–12.

There are increases in expected contributions from the government and students in the budget’s five-year forecast due to a rise in enrolment. While last year’s budget anticipated a total increase of $850 million in funding for universities in 2016–17, this year’s budget predicts an increase of $967 million for that same time period.

Bachand defended the decision, saying it was “reasonable” to expect a university graduate, who stands to earn $600,000 more than a high school graduate, to pay 17 per cent of their schooling, the rate at which they will

be paying in 2016-2017. In 2008-2009, students paid for 12.7 per cent of costs.

“There are students who oppose the rates, and it’s their right,” he said.

“I’m sorry they didn’t participate more actively during the debate [two years ago]. The decision has been taken.”

When asked whether mediation with students would be a possibility, Bachand was blunt: “No, it’s not a good idea [...] It’s difficult to sit down with someone who argues for a tuition freeze, and nothing more.”

Mediation, he said, is for when the two parties have something still to agree on. But since tuition increases have started to pass, the discussion is closed.

Most of the opposition parties also slammed the decision.

“Raising tuition will decrease access to high education; it’s certainly not a measure to help Quebec gain the educated workers it needs to succeed,” said Québec Solidaire MNA Amir Khadir, who labelled the budget a “sign of a discredited government.”

He encouraged students to keep fighting: “They have the momentum. It’s one of the most solid mobilizations I have ever seen.”

Option nationale leader Jean-Martin Aussant, who calls for free education, said he supported protesters “100 per cent,” provided they stay within the law, unlike two groups that blocked bridges earlier that day.

“They don’t need to block a bridge

to be heard, I’m convinced,” he said.

“Because unfortunately, it works against them.”

Aussant suggested that the government is making a calculated electoral strategy, banking on the hope that most students won’t vote Liberal in an upcoming election.

Since last year’s budget, there has been an increase in expected contributions from the government and students in the budget’s five-year forecast because of a rise in enrolment; the total increased revenue is set at $967 million, which is $117 million more than estimated in the last budget.

But student group Table de concertation étudiante du Québec takes issue with the discrepancy. It shows, they said in a release, that the government has not properly calculated the cost of universities and that it must “re-evaluate” university costs.

Overall, in a budget designed to be a stepping stone to fiscal balance, spending increased only in education, family and healthcare, while there were cuts to other programs. Spending by the Ministry of Education, Leisure and Sport will increase by 2.2 per cent to just under $16 billion, or a quarter of total program spending. There were no new “user fees” or taxes announced for this year’s budget.

The government also announced that they will collect higher royalties from natural resources like mines, forests and water, to the tune of $1.2 billion.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Follow us on Twitter: @TheConcordian ProTeST

Campus security clashes with students ConU announces any student picketer can now face charges

nation in brief Marilla Steuter-Martin

Mulcair FTW

Hang on to your hats ladies and gentlemen, because there’s a new leader in town. Following the March 23 and 24 New Democratic Party leadership convention, Outremont MP Thomas Mulcair was elected head of the party. The former provincial Liberal, who served as environment minister under Jean Charest, was first elected to the House of Commons with the NDP in 2007. Mulcair competed successfully against six other candidates for the leadership position, including former party president and runnerup Brian Topp. In his victory speech, Mulcair stated that his goal was to promote unity.

Joel Ashak Co-news editor The first major altercations between university security and students happened on Monday, March 26, following the reaffirmation of Concordia’s strong stance against hard picketing tactics.

While some students were participating in a sit-in on the 7th floor, another group of students were facing half a dozen security guards on the 4th floor. The conflict began when a group of geography students used hard-picketing tactics by blocking the entrance to their classroom. Protesters were met by security who showed up to make sure “there would be no incident.” Several students felt intimidated by the guards, who were also filming the picketers.

“I think 30 years ago we would have never seen this kind of pressure from the administration to force a union [security] to cross another union’s picket line,” said geography student Jess Glavina. “What happened at the classrooms so far was very calm and very peaceful. The presence of security guards is creating a really uncomfortable environment on campus.

It’s really unnecessary and it feels like students are being prosecuted.”

Last week the university sent an email warning about consequences for students who choose to continue blocking access to classes, which could include formal charges.

Eventually, the geography professor who was supposed to teach the class cancelled it, telling security there were not enough students in attendance.

“I just think that I’m in a really difficult position because I respect what the students have democratically chosen to do,” said the professor, Julie Podmore. “But the picket wouldn’t permit

3

Two not always better than one

Security guardS videotaped StudentS occupying different partS of the haLL buiLding. photo by navneet paLL me to pass through anyway and there weren’t enough students that were in the classroom to hold the class.”

Earlier that day, a similar altercation resulted in an incident that drew attention on the Internet after it was posted by CUTV. A student who was filming an argument between security and students in the Faubourg was struck in the face by one of the security guards, throwing the camera out of her hands and onto the ground.

“Get that guy’s name because he just hit me in the face,” the student was quoted as saying in the video.

The agent eventually left the premises without identifying himself.

In the university’s March 23 email to all students, it stated that it was “no longer possible to tolerate further disruption of university activities by a minority of protesters who refuse to respect the rights of others.” The email went on to say that the university will from now on lay charges against those who choose to block access to classrooms.

ProTeST

Students block the Federation of CeGePs As part of the Coalition large de l’Association pour une solidarité syndicale étudiante’s promise to stage a protest against tuition hikes every day this week, a group of red-square wearing students assembled March 26 at HenriJulien park in Ahuntsic. There was no clear organizer present and the majority of students said they did not know the route of the march. The protesters left at approximately 11:30 a.m. heading up Chabanel Street, turning onto St-Hebert, and then onto St-Denis. All of a sudden, the group of 150 to 200 protesters made a run for the Federation of CEGEPs building, adjacent to Cremazie metro. Students blocked all three entrances to the building, chanting and refusing to move when asked by two police officers on the scene.

Upcoming CLASSe demonstrations Tuesday 7:30 a.m.

Action of student discontent, metro Papineau

Wednesday 9 a.m.

“Manif-action,” CeGeP Maisonneuve

Thursday 7 a.m.

“Manif-action,” 3200 Jean-Brillant

Thursday 12 p.m.

“Grande Mascarade” student festival, Phillips Square

Photos by Sophia Loffreda

The university said it also encourages students to report any incidents that prevent them from getting to their classes. Students who are found hardpicketing will be asked by the university security to provide IDs and will be reported to a panel to face the appropriate charges. Those who refuse to identify themselves will have their pictures taken in order to be identified.

“The charges will depend on the severity of the case but it could go from a written reprimand to expulsion,” said Concordia spokesperson Chris Mota. “The university will only target students who are physically blocking access to classrooms and offices.

We received complaints and we need to make sure our community has the liberty of movement. Blocking the Guy Metro building [last Wednesday] for example was unacceptable.”

The CSU and the Graduate Students’ Association responded to the university’s email by issuing a statement titled: “Students will not be intimidated.”

Both associations called the university’s email “dangerous” and “irresponsible,” saying the university painted picketing students as aggressive when “in reality [their actions] have been consistently characterized by a lighthearted, peaceful, and creative nature, with very few incidents.”

“The last communication the administration sent out was perceived by the CSU as extremely aggressive,” said CSU VP external Chad Walcott. “Their message is calling for a profiling of students and a general discrimination against protesters and picketers. We think that it is highly unacceptable.”

Walcott believes that the university’s decision to come out with a heavyhanded stance proves that the student movement’s tactics are working.

“We actually sat with the university administration to tell them that this email would only create conflictual relations between students and the university,” said Walcott. “We were basically told that the university did not care if things went out of hands.”

An unfortunate coincidence caused tension in Edmonton Saturday when a white pride march crossed paths with an anti-racism protest. Organizers of both marches said that no one had been aware of the timing of the other’s activities, but nonetheless the two protests kept on butting heads, literally. The processions bumped into each other multiple times, once in a public square and once again outside of the Alberta legislature. Police were called in to control the crowds, but aside from a few insults being thrown from both parties, there were no major confrontations.

Miss Universe booted

Beauty may not be skin deep, but beauty pageants are. Contestant Jenna Talackova was disqualified from Canada’s Miss Universe pageant Friday for being transgender. Though originally selected to compete in the top 65, Talackova’s name was struck from the list once it was revealed she was born a man. The trans community is furious with the organization for its alleged discrimination and many are calling for her reinstatement.

The pageant stated on its website that Talackova was disqualified because she “did not meet the requirements to compete.”

Bringing back brothels

Ontario’s Court of Appeal has ruled that prostitutes should be able to service clients indoors and hire security. The ban on the use of brothels in the province was lifted in a March 26 ruling, after almost nine months of deliberation. It was decided that these laws, which limit the activities of sex workers, caused more risk to the well-being of women than they did to protect them. But the court found that it will still be illegal for prostitutes to communicate openly about services in public. The court gave the federal government one year to rewrite the appropriate provisions in the Criminal Code.

Ahead of the ruling, both sides had indicated that they would appeal the decision to the Supreme Court of Canada should they lose.

A ruling at that level would apply to the entire country.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

theconcordian

200,000 dans la rue Anti-tuition hike protest draws record numbers

Photo by Navneet Pall

Government refuses to acknowledge growing support for student movement Marilla Steuter-Martin & Jacques Gallant Co-news editor & editor-in-chief

O

ver 200,000 people took to the streets in the historic March 22 protest against tuition increases, but as far as the provincial government is concerned, the hikes are here to stay.

The march began officially at Place du Canada, where buses full of students from outside the city started arriving earlier in the day. The approximate length of the route was five kilometres, with protesters marching down both Sherbrooke and SteCatherine Streets to their ultimate destination, Place JacquesCartier in the Old Port.

Protesters held signs denouncing Premier Jean Charest’s Liberal government, the leadership of Education Minister Line Beauchamp, and the idea that accessible education is not a priority.

Despite the massive turnout, the protest was extremely peaceful and the SPVM reported no major incidents during or after the march. Police presence was very light in comparison with other demonstrations that have taken place over the past few weeks.

On the morning of March 22, Charest told reporters at the National Assembly in Quebec City that his government would “never stop listening to students.”

The next day, his education minister told the Canadian Press that students needed to get back to class or risk facing consequences. Beauchamp reiterated that the government would not back down from its decision, and said that should students continue to boycott classes, they risk having their classes scheduled at night and semesters extended. Concordia already indicated in a previous statement that it has no intention of prolonging the winter term.

“We called for a peaceful, but loud demonstration. It was the biggest demonstration in the history of Quebec,” said Martine Desjardins, president of the Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec.

She went on to say that “Beauchamp has no choice now but to answer to 200,000 people speaking with one voice demanding accessible education.”

“The mobilization exceeded all our expectations,” said Fédération étudiante collégiale du Québec President Léo BureauBlouin. “This is a precedent in student mobilization and I’m sure it’s going to have a huge impact on the Liberal government.”

The Concordia delegation lead the way for the better part of the three-hour demonstration.

“This sends an incredibly strong message to the government,” said Concordia Student Union President Lex Gill of the protest. “If anything else, the Liberal party has lost 200,000 voters for life.”

The participation far exceeded the predictions made earlier in the day, proving that there is more public support for the student movement than estimated. Despite the success of the demonstration, Gill explained that protesters still have much work to do.

“The fight is not over,” she said. “There will be massive actions in the coming weeks until the government backs down.”

Participants in the March 22 protest represented every age demographic, from toddlers with their parents to cheering grandparents. Grade 10 student Terra Leger-Goodes of PaulGerin-Lajoie School in Outremont was at the march with a large group of students from her class.

“We heard that the cost of going to university is going up by a large amount, so we’re here to protest that. Society can only advance if people can go to school and gain knowledge,” she said, mentioning that by the time she enters university four to five years from now, the government’s tuition hikes will have almost reached their maximum. The Charest Liberals are planning to increase tuition by $325 a year between 2012 and 2017.

For grandmother Danielle Genereux, accessible education is an issue that affects everyone in Quebec, and should be at the top of the government’s priority list.

“Major investments in education should be an absolute priority. There should be no further discussion on that,” said Genereux, a grandmother of seven. “[The government] says opposition against tuition increases is not representative of the whole population. But today, they will see that it is representative.”

At the end of the march, Coalition large de l’Association pour une solidarite syndicale etudiante spokesperson Gabriel

Nadeau-Dubois told students to return to their schools and to keep the student movement going. By 6 p.m., most of the protesters had dispersed, crowding into the nearest metro stations.

CLASSE, one of the main organizers of the day’s march, is planning a series of protests next week in an effort to cause an “economic disturbance” in the city, which they say will only end when the government retracts its decision to up tuition.

oppoSition partieS Lend their Support Earlier in the morning of March 22, a press conference was held at Palais des Congrès by the Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec and the Fédération étudiante collégiale du Québec, and included representatives from groups such as the Centrale des syndicats du Quebec and the Confédération des syndicats nationaux, as well as opposition political parties, the Parti Québécois, Québec Solidaire and Option nationale.

At the conference, PQ leader Pauline Marois reiterated that a PQ-elected government would not proceed with the tuition hikes, and would call for a provincial summit on post-secondary education. “The Charest government must stop considering students as enemies of the state,” she said.

QS spokesperson Françoise David, for her part, emphasized that the government could increase taxes on larger corporations in order to bring in more revenue, rather than asking for more money from students.

After the conference, PQ post-secondary education critic Marie Malavoy spoke to The Concordian about the issue of mismanagement of public funds in Quebec universities that has often been brought up in the debate on tuition increases.

Referring to Education Minister Line Beauchamp’s recent decision to fine Concordia with $2 million for handing out six severance packages totalling $3.1 million, Malavoy said “there is no reason to have targeted one university. We must look at the salaries, the benefits and the severance packages at all universities. It’s foolish to think it’s just Concordia,” she said.

Malavoy mentioned that an idea has been floating among PQ ranks to institute a “commission” to look more closely at the management of public funds in Quebec universities.

With files from Joel Ashak.

For a video and photo gallery from the March 22 Day of action, go to theconcordian.com.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Follow us on Twitter: @TheConcordian

5

Student movement to become more radical FeUQ, FeCQ and CLASSe show desire for unity despite disagreements Joel Ashak Co-news editor Quebec has been holding its breath since the three major student associations promised to push things further following the massive demonstration against tuition hikes last Thursday.

After the March 22 protest that saw 200,000 students marching the streets of Montreal, student leaders warned the Liberal government they were now taking the movement further.

Organizations like the Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec, the Fédération étudiante collégiale du Québec and the Coalition large de l’Association pour une solidarité syndicale étudiante announced increasing actions of occupation and “economic disturbance” in order to hit the Charest government where it hurts—in its pockets. One of the leaders even showed signs of support to actions like blocking traffic on bridges.

“We are now going to speak the only language [the Charest government] understands, and that is the language of money,” said CLASSE spokesperson Gabriel Nadeau-Dubois.

“We have tried with symbolic actions but now it’s time to take it to the next step.”

Reacting last Friday to the march, Education Minister Line Beauchamp refused to call it historic, as most of the province’s media did, and declared that her position had not changed.

In the plans announced by FEUQ, FECQ and CLASSE, the associations’ leaders promised they would increase the number of protests, hold regular sit-ins and occupation-type demonstrations in government offices and ministers’ press conferences. They also aim to launch awareness campaigns to influence fu-

ture voters, particularly in the regions where Liberal candidates were elected by slim margins in the last provincial election.

“We’re now switching to a pre-electoral mode,” said FEUQ President Martine Desjardins. “We’re going to target the 10 Liberal MPs who won with the lowest majority in the last elections and we are going to campaign in their districts telling people that their MPs are against accessible education.”

When it comes to actions of economic disturbance, however, the different organizations don’t all agree on the methods to use. While CLASSE praised actions like blocking bridges and commended the participants in these actions for their “bravery,” the FEUQ and the FECQ questioned such methods and said they wished to avoid losing public support for their cause.

“Our belief is that we should target those who are responsible and in that case it’s the government,” explained Desjardins. “Public opinion is very fragile and it doesn’t take much to turn people against us. We need to make sure the general population supports us and we need to keep those families and professors who marched with us on March 22 supporting us.”

The Concordia Student Union sided with the FEUQ, and said they would not follow other students organizations in any actions that would put Concordia students at risk.

“The CSU’s position is that we endorse positions that are peaceful,” said VP external Chad Walcott. “We will only advertise actions that we feel our students can go to and come back from without being arrested or getting fined.”

However, CLASSE, FEUQ and FECQ admitted that if the Liberal government maintains its refusal to negotiate with students, these types of extreme actions would continue to happen.

The associations are informally respecting an agreement of non-denunciation and non-negotiation, where associations cannot question the legitimacy of other student groups’ actions,

nor can they initiate negotiations with the government without the presence of all the major associations.

“Blocking bridges is not the type of actions we support since we don’t think it targets the right people,” said FECQ President Léo BureauBlouin. “But we have showed good faith in organizing peaceful demonstrations so far and at some point, if the government still doesn’t listen, we have to take it to the next step.”

This is not the first time the FEUQ and the FECQ have disagreed with the CLASSE over strategies of mobilization. The three student organizations have been continuously quarreling since 2005 over campaigning methods.

During the speeches at the end of the March 22 demonstration, CLASSE leaders refused to also let FEUQ and FECQ representatives speak, claiming their congress mandate kept them from sharing the stage. The leaders of the two associations had to climb on the roof of their sound truck to speak to the thousands of protesters.

“We found it unfortunate considering our movement is supposed to be a unified movement but it’s not the time to show signs of division,” said Desjardins. “Our cause goes beyond the associations that we represent.”

It remains to be seen if the student organizations will agree on the strategies to adopt in pushing the student movement further, but all have assured they aspire for unity in their message and in potential negotiations with the government.

“It’s important for us to stay unified because the enemy is not among us, it’s the government. Having a unified movement with different and complementary strategies is the best way to go for now,” said Desjardins.

The next major protests are set to take place on March 27 in Montreal, and on April 4 in Premier Jean Charest’s home riding of Sherbrooke.

The CSU has announced it will be sending a bus full of students to the demonstration.

Massive protest leaves few indifferent elise Favis Contributor

S Photos by Navneet Pall

upport for the massive antituition hikes demonstration last Thursday not only came from the crowd of roaring students, but also from bystanders and window-watching residents.

As the students marched through downtown, there were red banners and blankets waving from windows, which were answered by resounding screams from the marching students. “[The protest] is definitely a start, and looking at all these signs and everything, it’s turning out really great. I don’t see how anyone can ignore something like this,” said Jennifer Delmundo, a Vanier College student who watched the marchers go by.

Josie Taylor, a high school student from British Columbia, did not expect to encounter a large protest while on vacation in Montreal. “We wanted to go shopping but it’s so busy. I guess if [the protest] is peaceful, then it’s fine. We just didn’t know this would happen.”

The protest proved to be problematic for some store owners because it disrupted normal

business. An employee at Sarah Souvenirs on Ste-Catherine Street said, “Of course it disrupts business, but everyone has a right to express themselves.”

The protest also attracted street performers and clowns, such as one woman who sat on a step ladder beside the street on Sherbrooke, dressed in an exuberant and frilly red dress, and wore red pigtails. She waved the crowd on.

Annick Landry, an Université du Québec à Montréal internship coordinator, stood on the sidelines of the march, sporting red clothes and a felt patch.

“It’s a hard choice, but it’s for sure that the school system is under financed. I work in a university and we are in need of more financial support, but I don’t think the solution is taking that money from students’ pockets,” she said.

The protesters, whatever the outcome in the fight against tuition increases may be, say they will not back down just yet.

“It’s our responsibility as the privileged people that we are, who live in this province, to protect the golden amount of accessible education that we actually have,” said Hannah Morrow, a protester and Concordia theatre and development student. “If we allow this place with the lowest tuition to rise, we’re kind of failing all of Canada in a way.”

Photos by Sophia Loffreda

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

World in brief Joel Ashak

$8,100 chicken nugget

A three-year-old McDonald’s chicken nugget was sold for $8,100 on eBay last week, the Associated Press reported. After a meal at McDonald’s three years ago, a Nebraska woman was about to toss the nugget in the trash when she noticed that the piece of fried chicken resembled the United States’ first president, George Washington. She then stashed it in her freezer until she decided to sell it to raise money in order to send 50 children to summer church in Sioux City. The identity of the buyer has not been disclosed.

Groom sets wedding venue ablaze over bar tab

A British groom earned a six-year honeymoon in prison for deliberately setting his wedding venue on fire on the night of his marriage in June 2011. Max Kay admitted recently in court that he was “massively” drunk that night and started a fire at Peckforton Castle in Cheshire after arguing with the venue over his bar tab and the rest of his wedding bill, the BBC reported. Kay drank 20 double vodkas and warned the venue’s finance director he was going to “get it.” The groom had tried to host a $40,000 ceremony while he was bankrupt.

Pot on self-service

A New Zealand cannabis club decided to install a pot vending machine in order to avoid seeing its members charged with drug trafficking. This type of clubs allows its members to come with their own weed and legally smoke it on the premises. However, selling drugs in the club remains illegal.

The owner of the club, who is currently in prison for drug offences, thought the idea would lower the risks for his patrons being arrested. The vending machine has been a hit with patrons who welcomed the idea of a safer way to buy cannabis than buying it on the streets.

High school student invites porn stars to prom

An 18-year-old high school student from Minnesota sparked controversy on Twitter after his school denied his request to invite a porn star as his date to the prom. The student, who thought two porn stars had agreed to his invitation sent via Twitter, was told by school officials that the women would be denied entry to the event because their appearances would not be in the best interest of the school and its students. Although one of the actresses, Emy Reyes, said she had accepted thinking it was a joke and moved on, Megan Piper was scandalized by the school’s refusal and started a Twitter campaign with the hashtag #porn4prom.

theconcordian

Continued from cover

CSU accused of lack of organization ahead of GA “It’s difficult to do any kind of advertising in this kind of climate of continuous strike,” said CSU VP external Chad Walcott. “If you look at the CSU elections, we barely made quorum. But this campaign isn’t over yet. It will end when the year is over and next year we’ll pick it up if that’s what needs to happen.”

Walcott said he was confident the movement was not losing momentum.

“One thing that we all know is that when people are connected to the movement, they are going to keep going until they run out of steam, and it seems like there’s a couple hundred students here who aren’t running out of steam anytime soon,” he said. “And they’re going to continue mobilizing and I’m going to continue providing them with the resources they need.”

Some students, including those who organized the petition for this second GA, blamed the CSU for the failure to meet quorum, emphasizing a lack of organization and advertising.

“This GA was a disappointment,” said geography student Alex Matak. “I do feel like it was largely an organizational problem why it didn’t happen.

The CSU was really busy and it has a lot of other things to do, at the same time I think there is a certain time where if you

onLy about 300 StudentS turned up for the cSu’S Second ga. photo by navneet paLL can’t do something, you need to make that clear. [...] I wouldn’t blame them but I would say that they should not have tried to take that on themselves if they did not have the capacity to do it.”

Several students also said that the GA would have attracted more students if it was held indoors. The CSU said it was forced to hold it on the Reggie’s terrace because of a double-booking of the

Hall auditorium.

The sit-in of the CSU lounge that came after the GA was a direct reaction to a recent email from the administration warning picketers that they could face formal charges.

The original plan to occupy the GM building was cancelled when a student reminded the group that such action could not be carried out without a plan.

Instead, the 100 students headed for the 7th floor of the Hall building to prepare an agenda for Concordia’s future actions in the movement against tuition hikes.

Just like the provincial student associations, Concordia students talked about a radicalization of the movement, notably by increasing the number of acts of disturbance.

enVironMenT

Elizabeth May to speak on sustainability 7th ConcordiaSiena conference happening this weekend

man societies have yet to make any dramatic changes to reduce emissions and slow the pace of climate warming,’’ he explained.

Both May and Matthews believe that Canada has lost its leading position at the international level concerning global warming. ‘‘Canada has become an international embarrassment as a result of its position on climate change,’’ said Matthews.

The conference will also have students from Concordia University and Siena College share their views on sustainability.

nahila Bendali Contributor

T

he Loyola College for Diversity and Sustainability will host the seventh edition of the ConcordiaSiena conference on globalization March 30 and 31, under the theme ‘‘Sustainability: Rio +20.’’

The conference, which is held alternatively at Concordia and at Siena College in New York state, has hosted prominent speakers in the past such as newly-elected NDP leader Thomas Mulcair. This year is no exception, as British Columbia MP and Green Party leader Elizabeth May, and Concordia geography, planning and environment professor Damon Matthews are expected to speak about the environment on March 30. The conference will look at globalization from many different angles. ‘‘I was a participant in the process leading to the Rio [de Janeiro International Earth Summit] and the summit itself in 1992, and in those days, Canada was in the lead concerning sustainability and global warming,’’ said May. As this year marks the 20th anniversary of the summit, it seemed appropriate to put the focus on sustainability, she explained. May said she was thrilled to speak at Concordia and believes that youth involvement in politics is critical.

“ the green party Leader wiLL Speak at concordia on march 30.

‘‘Whenever I can fit a university event in my calendar, I do it,’’ she said.

Her presentation will look at how the Conservative government brought Canada backwards in the fight for to protect the environment. ‘‘Stephen Harper withdrew Can-

ada from the Kyoto Protocol without warning us during the electoral campaign,’’ said May. Matthews’ presentation will look at the history of global warming as well as what is to come. “There is not a lot of good news in the climate change story of the past 20 years. Hu-

Whenever i can fit a university event in my calendar, i do it.

- Elizabeth May

‘‘We have five students of Loyola College and seven students from Siena College along with other professors from Concordia presenting on March 31,’’ said Cristina Barbu, assistant to the college’s principal.

In keeping with the theme, the organizers of the two-day symposium tried to make the event as sustainable as possible. ‘‘We wrapped the gifts in newspapers,” said Barbu. “Also, we will have real dishes or biodegradable dishes and combusting bins [at the event].”

The conference will take place on Friday, March 30 from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. and on Saturday, March 31 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. The event is free and open to everyone. It will be hosted at Loyola’s Richard J. Renaud Science Complex, room SP-S110.

life

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

7

Write to the editor: life@theconcordian.com cyberspace

Love at the click of a mouse a closer look at the online dating world and its stigmas amanda L. shore assistant arts editor “We met online.” Maybe you’ve said this or maybe you’ve heard one of your friends say it. Maybe you’re a veteran of dating sites, maybe you’re a beginner or maybe you’re just curious to know what it’s all about. As a selfproclaimed veteran of Internet dating, I learned the rules the hard way and I’ve dealt with the stigma on a daily basis.

Internet dating has seen a huge increase in popularity in the last few years. As of 2011, according to Leger Marketing, 36 per cent of Canadians between the ages of 18 and 34 have tried dating online. Nonetheless, a stigma still exists about people who find dates through the Internet. But it is gradually lessening. “[When] I see clients who are single and have a hard time finding a mate, I will absolutely guide them towards online dating,” said Montreal therapist and doctoral candidate Stine Linden-Andersen. “Some people have a stigma, but we know from research that the stigma is incorrect. I think people used to think that people who go online, they would call themselves losers or socially inept, but we found through research that those who date [online] are more sociable than those who do not date online. So I think we really do need to revisit that stigma.”

The research Linden-Andersen refers to is that of Online Dating Magazine, which found that the majority of online daters are more confident than offline daters. Also, online daters are reportedly getting married faster with 72 per cent marrying within the first year compared to 36 per cent of offline daters.

In the past, Linden-Andersen has dealt with couples who made up entire stories about how they met that were not true in order to bypass the perceived negative reactions from friends and family. As our society becomes more technologically involved, this stigma is changing, as exemplified by the growing number of people who use online dating sites and find success there.

Internet dating is not without its difficulties, but just like conventional dating, knowing the ropes is a key to success. Online dating is “an easier way to get into the whole dating scene and start finding out what your preferences are,” noted Linden-Andersen. “It gives you access to a lot more people than you would otherwise meet through connections or friends of friends.”

This is not to say that you should go out with every person who expresses an interest in you online or every profile you come across.

A profile is the first interaction you will have with potential dates. Most dating websites are set up in this way; your profile contains information about your height, weight, age and type of relationship you’re looking for, as well as information about your interests, what you’re looking for and your personal beliefs.

When writing a description of yourself, plentyoffish.com recommends that you include information about what you like, what you dislike, your passions, your fears, your personal beliefs and your personality traits. It also suggests thinking up creative first date ideas as this will reveal a lot about your personality, such as whether you’re sporty, romantic or

How to search for a safe relationship online - In my experience, if you are seeking a relationship, you should avoid anyone who mentions sex either in their profile or in your initial email or conversation.

- as well, you should not mention sex unless you are looking for a purely sexual relationship.

- If a person does not have a profile picture, ask them to provide one. In this day and age, taking a picture of oneself is easy, so there should be no excuses.

- consider the kind of picture a person uses in their profile. blurry, distorted or badly taken photographs are a sign that this person doesn’t care that much.

- It’s sometimes hard to tell what a person looks like based on their photos, so don’t judge a person too harshly. I’ve gone on several dates where the person didn’t look at all like their photo, but usually we had established a good rapport before then so it wasn’t a big deal (and sometimes it was a nice surprise).

- My most important piece of advice is don’t be afraid to tell someone you’re not interested in meeting them. Never feel pressured to meet someone just because you’ve been chatting online.

- I like to play it safe, so I always tell someone where I’m going to be and I never get in a guy’s car if it’s our first meeting. adventurous.

Most dating websites will allow you to restrict your search to members who share the same interests as you, but those search restrictions are usually pretty generic. It’s important when reading profiles that you consider the profile as a whole, “finding love online means not just reading a lot of profiles but reading between the lines of a lot of profiles,” according to lookbetteronline.com.

Some people will write too much and some people will write too little, but it’s not about quantity, it’s about the quality of what they’re saying and what they’re not saying in their profile that is important.

It’s true what they say, a picture can say a thousand words, which is why it’s important that your profile include a photo. You don’t want a photo that shows you too made up, you

want one that shows you as how you normally look. This photo is what will catch an individual’s eye and make them look at your profile, but you don’t want to misrepresent yourself.

Despite what we tell ourselves, looks do matter. The truth is we are attracted to people initially, based on their looks.

“Ask five people what they find attractive, and you’ll get a lesson in human variability: girls with ears that stick out; guys with soulful eyes,” said Carlin Flora, a former editor and writer for Psychology Today, as quoted in the article “Fast Forces of Attraction.” We all have physical preferences when it comes to potential mates and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Lastly, but most importantly, is communication. In my experience, this is initially established through email or an instant messaging application provided by the website. However,

the rules are the same when trying to open the doors of communication. There’s no need to reiterate the basic facts about yourself as you’ve already done that in your profile. Therefore, it’s a good idea, according to plentyoffish.com, to talk about a common interest you both share because this shows that you were interested enough to read their whole profile.

It can be overwhelming to search for a date online, but it can also be a great and fun experience. The most important thing, however, says Linden-Andersen, is “that when you’re looking for someone online, don’t look for that one and only. [It’s important that] you’re looking for someone who you might consider a friend [...] and then sort of meet and see where it goes.”

In other words, take a gander, it can’t hurt, and you never know who you’ll find waiting for you online.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

theconcordian

INTeLLIgeNce

Brain food to ace the finals

Treats that will help with memory, hydration and overall performance anouare abdou contributor

It is that moment of the semester again. The assignments are piling up even though you had sworn that this time around, you would not procrastinate. Studying becomes more important than sleep and the library is your new home. Your eating habits might not be your top priority either.

“During midterms and finals my diet consists mainly of Al-Taib pizza, coffee and cigarettes,” said Rashad Bedeir, a Concordia philosophy major.

But certain foods can boost brain power, increase alertness and concentration and help you stay sane during exam period. Registered dietitian Karine Levy shared her brain food secrets.

According to her, carbohydrates are the main source of energy. Half of the carbohydrates you consume are used to maintain brain activity. Since the brain does not make reserves of glucose, a sugar found in carbohydrates, it is important to regularly feed it with this type of energy. Carbohydrates are found in bread, pasta, rice and cereals. But before you give yourself unconditional permission to scarf down a huge bowl of spaghetti, remember that fruits, vegetables, milk and yogurt all contain them as well. And when choosing grain products, the whole grain version is always best.

Levy emphasized the importance of omega-3 fats, referring to them as the nutritional superstars when it comes to optimal brain functioning. Levy said that more than a third of the bases of our brain are actually made up of

these polyunsaturated fats. And even though you can find omega-3’s in vegetable sources such as flaxseed or canola oil, fatty fish is your best bet. The reason is that fish such as tuna, salmon, mackerel and sardines contain DHA, a fatty acid that directly affects memory, brain and cognitive performance.

As for supplements, you might want to rethink that option. “Most of us are always going to suggest first to go for the real, natural foods.

Because not only does fish contain omega-3’s, it is also going to deliver protein, selenium, and sometimes vitamin D as well. It is nice to see the food as a whole. And if you do want to take a supplement, it is very important to speak to a pharmacist and make sure it comes from good quality fish oil,” said Levy.

Iron is also important brain food. The brain

needs to be oxygenated. Iron helps transport oxygen in the blood. When your iron levels are low, you feel tired and fatigued and your productivity suffers. Find that nutrient in red meat, enriched cereals, dried fruit and green leafy vegetables. Iron from an animal source is much more easily absorbed by the body than iron from a vegetable source. “There is a trick for that. If you add a little vitamin C to a vegetarian source of iron, it increases absorption.

For example, you can make a salad and add some tomato and red pepper,” said Levy.

Antioxidants found in fruits and vegetables are known to fight disease and free radicals.

But they also optimize brain function. “There was a study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. They asked elderly people to do exercises such as memorizing words and

calculations. The conclusion was that people who consumed the most fruits and vegetables performed better,” said Levy. That gives you one more reason to eat your veggies.

While studying for a final exam and struggling to cram in all the information, the fatigue might start to kick in and you might be tempted to guzzle coffee to stay alert.This is not necessarily a bad thing, if you keep it under two or three cups a day, especially since coffee and tea now count towards your daily hydration goals. Be careful though, that amount decreases if you consume soft drinks, tea or chocolate, which also contain caffeine. As for hydration, water is a no-brainer. Being dehydrated makes you feel dizzy and fatigued, which you want to avoid when you need to do schoolwork.

Lastly, you have heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Unfortunately, it is easy to skip it when you are a busy student. “Either I wake up, get ready and go where I need to go without having it or I am just not hungry,” said Michelle Samman, an English literature major. Some quick and balanced breakfast ideas include a slice of whole wheat toast with natural peanut butter and banana or a yogurt topped with high-fibre cereal and blueberries. “Breakfast is really important to nourish your brain after a whole night of fasting when you are sleeping. It helps with intellectual shape, readiness to learn and to confront the obstacles and challenges of the day,” said Levy.

And since time is more precious than ever at the end of the semester, here are some convenient and brain-friendly snack and meal ideas: nuts and dried fruit, cheese sticks and a piece of fruit, raw vegetables and hummus or a canned salmon salad with whole grain crackers.

Good luck on the exams!

food

My mom’s Egyptian recipes Learn to make some exotic dishes from cairo at home shaimaa el-ghazaly assistant life editor When it comes to finding food from different ethnic backgrounds, Montreal is definitely the place to be. However, I can never seem to find an authentic Egyptian restaurant. There are several Lebanese and Moroccan establishments, but not Egyptian, which is a shame really. There are many similarities, but when it comes down to it, there is always something different about the taste.

Whenever my friends come over to my house, they practically drool over my mother’s cooking.

Sometimes I think they only come over for the food because it’s that good. So here I am, sharing two of my favourite Egyptian dishes, moussaka and sweet potato dessert. They’re delicious. But don’t take my word for it, try them for yourself.

Egyptian moussaka This is what you’ll need: 2 eggplants, cut into half circles 5 potatoes, peeled and cut into slices 1 green pepper, cut into slices 1 can of tomato sauce 5 cloves of garlic 1/4 cup of vinegar Frying oil Salt Cumin This is how you do it:

would like to add a side of meat or poultry to the meal, here’s what you can do. You can get boneless chicken breasts, cut them horizontally into thin slices and dip them in an egg with salt.

Then, you put it in bread crumbs (not actual bread crumbs, I’m talking about the ones you buy). Now just fry them in oil and they’re ready to eat.

Next, a meal is never complete without dessert. So here is an easy and fast dish to complete this experience. Most places I’ve seen use sweet potatoes as a salty meal, but here’s a way to give meaning to its real name. I must warn you though, this is a really sweet dessert, so I hope you have a sweet tooth.

Graphic by Maya Pankalla

First, you will need to put one tablespoon of salt on your cut-up eggplants and leave it for about half an hour in the sun. This will help get rid of the water inside the eggplants. Then, you squeeze each piece to make sure they are dry.

Heat up the frying oil in a pan and proceed to fry the eggplants, the potatoes and the green peppers. Once they are cooked, you can take them out on paper towels to dry the oil.

Now, you will need to cook the sauce. Take five cloves of garlic and crush them. Then, fry them lightly in a small amount of oil until they

become a light yellow. Add a teaspoon of cumin, a quarter cup of vinegar and one can of tomato sauce.

You can then add the fried eggplants, potatoes and green peppers into the sauce and let it cook until the vegetables have absorbed the sauce a bit. You’ll have to check the salt and add little by little as desired since the eggplants already have salt in them.

You can eat this with white rice or pita bread.

If you’re feeling a little adventurous and you

Sweet potato dessert This is what you’ll need: 3 sweet potatoes 1 cup of milk 1 egg 1/2 cup of sugar 1/2 thin stick of melted butter Cinnamon This is how you do it: Put the sweet potatoes in the microwave for about two minutes or until tender. When you take them out, peel them and mash them in a bowl. Then, gradually add the egg, milk, sugar, melted butter and your desired amount of cinnamon while mixing the whole time.

After blending, spread in an oven pan and put it in the oven on 350 degrees Fahrenheit. You can leave it for 30 minutes or until you see the top get slightly darker.

arts

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

9

Write to the editor: arts@theconcordian.com ARTiculate

The art of striking Education soup, zombies and giant red sweaters Rebecca Ugolini Staff writer “What people need to understand is that our protest is about taking to the streets, learning about education in the streets, and discussing the future of our Quebec universities,” said professor Anna Kruzynski of Concordia’s School of Community and Public Affairs during her speech at Wednesday’s Zombie Walk/Strike Open-Mic. As I listened to the various speakers—students, activists, professors—speak to the crowd that had amassed in front of the Hall building, and as I spoke to people and photographed their signs and protest materials, it became clear to me that the tuition hike issue is also an arts community issue.

“Universities are following the corporate model of management, turning our education into a business venture, a product in a retail store,” Kruzynski said, “and that means that private funding for research will likely go to [the sciences],” leaving arts programs underfunded.

Although I won’t get into my own views on the strike here—there isn’t enough space or time—I’d like to dedicate this week’s ARTiculate to the art projects, body-painting, and protest signage that students have created in response to the tuition hike issue.

From the elegant to the wacky, and all the way to zombies, the art related to the strike sends a vibrant and powerful message: that art is important and worth funding, a vital part of personal response, and a highly-visible medium for expressing dissent.

1) POP ART: Some of my favourite signs put a new twist on an old work of art, such as a “Non à la marchandisation” poster which rebranded Andy Warhol’s famous Campbell’s

Collage by writer

Condensed Soup piece as Education Soup, alluding to the pre-packaged and “canned” education that protesters like Kruzynski attribute to “corporate-model universities.” Also spotted: Mona Lisa with the caption: “Le secret de son sourire?

L’éducation accessible!”

2) PAINT ON: Improvised studios took shape along the de Maisonneuve Boulevard pavement, showcasing the widespread use of red as the strike’s colour of choice. The sight of students painting one another in anticipation of that day’s zombie walk highlighted the collaborative effort of the strike project.

3) PORTRAIT GALLERY: I spotted Hannah, an English major at Concordia, in front of the Hall building sketching students who posed for her impromptu exhibit entitled Portraits for Strik-

ers. The dignified and simple portraits illustrate that artistic response is varied both in subject matter and in form, and that non-visual arts students also feel creatively compelled to participate in the strike.

4) PAINTED FACES: What was all that painting for? Student Lea shows off her zombie makeup, complete with dark under-eye circles, a bloody mouth, and a dress smeared with black paint and plastered with protest slogans. The zombie march organized by fine arts students was definitely one of the most creative elements of the protest against tuition increases.

5) PURL’N’KNIT: As a lover of knitting, I couldn’t help but notice two female students sitting a little aside of the main action, knitting and crocheting away. Weaving and Time, a project

proposed by Katrina Habrich, Hope Phillips and Katherine Spooner-Lockyer, plays on the work of fibre arts in joining and weaving together to symbolize the unity of students during the strike and protest period. The best part? The girls plan to create a huge sweater that can only be worn by several students at once—not that the protesters will need it with the weather we’ve been having.

6) POPULAR POETRY: English department students held a poetry reading/open-mic on the corner of Mackay Street and de Maisonneuve Boulevard, reading both from personal poems and from personal favourites. Two students held up a banner that read: “Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire,” quoting William Butler Yeats.

filM

Blood feuds in modern times The Forgiveness of Blood proves less isn’t always more Nicholas McHugh Contributor The Forgiveness of Blood, Joshua Marston’s followup to 2004’s award-winning Maria Full of Grace, tells the story of an Albanian family under house arrest in the midst of a feud with another family. It isn’t as interesting as it sounds.

The main family delivers bread for money. To do so quickly, they make use of a road that runs through a large property they used to own. The land’s new owners would prefer they go around the property instead of through it and put up a fence.

In response, the trespassing family’s father and uncle return there and stab the fence-maker to death. The uncle is sent to prison, but the father goes into hiding. This sparks the feud, as the mourning family requires a male’s blood if the offender is not properly punished.

Rudina, the main family’s oldest sister, is forced to take on the bread delivery business despite her love of school, as males cannot leave the home because they fear getting killed by the neighbours in retribution for the uncle’s crime. Nik, the oldest

The Forgiveness oF Blood looks at a blood feud between two families. brother, mopes around and pines over the girl he likes.

Rudina’s story is the most compelling, but there isn’t enough of it. The audience sees her bargain for cartons of cigarettes to start a side business, despite warnings that selling cigarettes is dangerous.

But neither the danger nor her success or failure is shown afterward.

For a movie about feuds, there isn’t much feud-

ing. Marston chooses to leave any violence and most direct conflict off camera. Without witnessing any of it, the audience can easily trivialize the supposed danger waiting outside. The film itself discredits the danger and allows Nik to sneak out of his house on more than one occasion without consequences.

The largest problem is the lack of exposition concerning the rules of the feud. Older characters

make multiple references to the “Kanun” and to “Besa” without offering the audience a clear explanation as to what they are. This can be dangerous, as confusion easily disconnects a viewer from the experience.

There was ample opportunity in the 109-minute film to resolve this. Dren, the youngest brother, does not ask any questions. It is unconvincing that a fiveyear-old child would remain locked inside a house without wondering why. Maybe silent obedience is part of the culture, but that is also left unclear.

Despite its contextual flaws, the film is still watchable. An indeterminate amount of time passes during the quick cuts between quiet scenes of the family going about their business, which helps make the movie feel more like watching moments of their real lives than a script. Thanks mostly to the gorgeous Albanian countryside, the film includes plenty of beautiful organic shots in warm colours with lots of natural light.

Overall, The Forgiveness of Blood lacks the information necessary to make it a social commentary film, but also lacks the conflict to make it a family drama. Not very much happens, and with such a compelling central idea, the audience is left wondering why Marston chose to tell it this way.

The Forgiveness of Blood comes out April 6 at AMC.

10

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

theconcordian

liTERATURE

Professional slacker? Foot always in your mouth?

YOU Comma Idiot may just be the book written about you Amanda l. Shore Assistant arts editor “You’re the kind of guy who falls in love after one date,” begins Doug Harris’ first novel, YOU Comma Idiot. What follows is a list of other things you might be interested to know about Lee Goodstone. Like how he often rehearses conversations in his head, only to screw them up in real life. Or how he washes his hair three times before a date and then gets caught in the rain. He tells you he’s the kind of guy who feels sorry for himself, but even without him having told you, it’s not that hard to figure out.

Lee Goodstone feels like his cards have been dealt unfairly. He feels that, because of his appearance, he’s always having to settle for second best. Take his friend Johnny for example. Johnny is traditionally handsome and all the girls fall for him, including Honey, who Lee fantasizes about constantly. But she chose Johnny, like all the other girls do, until one day Honey chooses him. And, like a row of dominoes, things in Lee’s life get hinky.

Not only has he just screwed his best friend’s girl, but his friend Henry is being looked at by the cops.

Lee’s buddy is muscling in on his

dope business and when his dealer sees him on TV shooting his mouth off about Henry being innocent, he’s none too happy, making things even harder on poor Lee. Set in Montreal, with easily recognizable references and landmarks for anyone familiar with the city, YOU Comma Idiot floats us through the daily life of Lee’s slacker lifestyle.

Readers are quickly absorbed into his inner monologue of appearance obsession, moral dilemmas and smartassery. He feels himself to be pretty smart and makes many a disdainful observation about his friends and associates. Lee is the kind of character everyone’s met at least once in their lives. A slacker to the max, who sells dope, gets drunk on a daily basis and still acts like he’s 19 despite being almost 30. Nevertheless, he’s moronically charming and you can’t help but like him just a little. You’d even date him, maybe.

Written in the second person, the book shifts the onus of Lee’s narrative onto the reader. Since the novel addresses the reader as “you” and the point of view is that of Lee’s, in theory, the reader is Lee. This choice of narrative is particularly effective as it forces the reader to adopt Lee’s ideology without passing judgement. Although Lee makes some rather idiotic choices and occasionally does some less than desirable things, we can’t help sympathizing with him, because he’s us.

CommerCial direCtor doug Harris launCHed His first novel YoU Comma idioT in paperbaCk marCH 23.

Although the novel is written from Lee’s point of view, we have limited access to his past and are kept solely in the present. There’s no intervening narrator to fill you in, which is actually kind of nice.

The reader experiences things as they happen to Lee and only discovers key bits of information as they would naturally come out in situations where both parties are aware of what’s happened in the past.

In this way, information is sometimes only hinted at and the reader must make his or her own assumptions. This little ruse makes it espe-

cially delightful when the full information is revealed and the reader is proven right or wrong. However, the reader does spend a good part of the novel with many questions, such as: Why is this person important to the story? Who is this person, how does Lee know them? The reader may find themselves skipping back several pages to see if they missed anything.

The dialogue, for the most part, is entirely believable. Whether it’s Honey and Lee’s flirty banter or Henry’s off-kilter replies, it’s easy to picture these characters existing

in real life. Harris does an admirable job in capturing the tone of 20-nearly-30-somethings of this day and age.

Launched initially in hardcover in 2010 by Goose Lane Editions, YOU Comma Idiot was re-released in paperback March 23 at Drawn & Quarterly. On its initial release, YOU Comma Idiot was a finalist for the Paragraphe Hugh MacLennan prize for fiction and the QWF First Book prize.

YOU Comma Idiot is available at fine book retailers everywhere.

liTERATURE

‘Cause a nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore Globe and Mail columnist pens savvy financial guide Sofia Gay Arts editor Debt. It’s that spidery little tingle-inducing word—and not the good kind—that comes just before a shudder suppresses that thought. Yet with so many of us facing it due to blindingly high-rising tuition, it’s a nearly inescapable part of student life.

And sometimes, yes, it does lead to the move back in with folks. Which is not the end of the world, in a certain aspect. But with moving out being one of the hallmarks of independence and freedom, having to live with mom and pop and maybe even—shudder—sharing a room with a sibling? No thanks.

It’s a situation in which more and more people are finding themselves, and they’ve even been ascribed a catchy name: Boomerang Generation.

That’s where Rob Carrick’s How Not to Move Back in With Your Parents comes in. This handy book provides a wealth (mind the pun) of information on everything you never thought you’d be interested in learning—RESPs, credit loans, budgeting and insurance.

Carrick brings over 20 years of experience, having penned previous tomes on finance and writing a column in The Globe and Mail’s Report on Business section. But more importantly, he provides frank advice and instruction on subjects that the average student may understand as much as, say, alchemy. “You’ll

find no lectures here, just clear and unbiased guidance,” he writes. Thank God. He moves from subject to subject with ease, with chapters touching on determining whether you can afford university, how to repay a student loan and a section dedicated to weddings and starting a family. Also included are case studies from real students to illustrate some of the chapters, as proof that even that pesky $28,000 loan can be paid back without booking a room under a bridge.

Carrick’s tone is authoritative and reasonable throughout the book, infusing a sense of calm into even the direst of situations. Yes, he says, it’s possible that you will fuck up, but there are ways to fix things and even prevent awful situations.

His simple language is a godsend, as he writes the way many professors tell you to write your essays— as if your audience doesn’t know anything about the subject (and let’s face it, a lot of people don’t).

In the end, Carrick acknowledges both sides of the argument concerning the struggle of recent graduates. While he says the grads fuel the problem because “they aren’t helping themselves as much as they could be” (i.e. they worry too much about being able to afford things they want now without thinking about the future), he rightly argues that older generations who grumble about young people expecting everything to be handed to them don’t take into account the many obstacles in the way: a job market that’s thinner than Kate Moss’ waist, the crippling cost of post-secondary education, rising house prices and a plethora of other factors.

Whether you’re graduating this spring, putting the finishing touches on your first postsecondary year, or if you’ve ever broken into a cold sweat reading your credit card statement, Carrick’s book will put things into perspective.

You may have to move back in with your parents at some point—but hey, it’s okay.

Rob Carrick’s tips on

saving money while you study Rent your textbooks from sites like BookMob and BigMama Trade your study table at Starbucks for the library Drink at home instead of the bar Avoid pesky ATM fees— use your bank’s machine Bike or bus whenever you can

thesupertremendousdigest Spoof issue coordinator Julian Mei

Notice: The following eight pages are fictional. If you have no sense of humour or are a WNBA basketball fan, please be advised that you will probably be offended and should just continue going about your day.

ExclusivE!!!

Graphic by Sean Kershaw

stEroids sting Buzz Mascot tests positive and faces consequences

Julian Mei STD King It is a sad day to be a Concordia Stinger.

The school’s beloved mascot, Buzz, tested positive for steroid use on Monday and has been suspended indefinitely by the CIS. The CIS has amped up its drug testing policy ever since nine members of the University of Waterloo football team tested positive for potential infractions in 2010. Buzz is the first Stinger to test positive for any type of illegal substance.

Buzz is not willing to comment at this point but the school announced they would be appealing the CIS’ decision.

“We are a school of integrity and we intend to support Buzz and do a thorough investigation of what

happened,” said Concordia athletic director Katie Hanshea.

CIS testing is supposed to be conducted randomly, but an anonymous source heavily involved with Canadian university athletics is not so certain this selection is “random.”

“I don’t think it was random,” the source said. “If you look at the biceps on that thing, I mean, that just isn’t normal for a hornet or bee or whatever it is. I think the higherups knew something may be going on there and wanted to check on it.”

While Buzz’s actions are undoubtedly a black mark on the school’s reputation, many mascots are feeling the pressure to perform at the highest level. As sports evolve and athletes become faster and stronger, the mascots have no

choice but to keep up. Gone are the days when the Phillie Phanatic could gorge himself on cheese steaks all off-season and come to training camp with no consequences.

“It’s tough sometimes,” said J.W. Mustang, the mascot at the University of Western Ontario.

“When I started, once the season ended mascots would just go home and relax all summer. Now everyone trains all off-season and works out with trainers. Everyone is looking for a chance to get a competitive advantage.”

As the CIS continues its investigation of Buzz, it remains to be seen the magnitude of the consequences the school and its mascot may face.

The CIS hoped to set a precedent when it suspended Waterloo from having a football program for an

entire season two years ago.

“We are not sure what the consequences may be at this time as everything is still under investigation,” said Hanshea. “We are hoping to have Buzz back for next year as he is a crucial part of our program, but we’re aware the CIS has a job to do.”

If Buzz is no longer allowed to continue as Concordia’s mascot, he already has another job offer on the table.

St. Louis Cardinals hitting coach Mark McGwire has reached out and offered Buzz a position as bench coach with the team.

“Buzz and I have a lot of the same values,” said McGwire. “We both know the key ingredient for success: Hard work. I guess you could also say I ‘Bee-lieve’ in second, third and fourth chances too.”

Concordia to become McGill Lite Two schools merge in Concordia’s rebranding effort

Julian Mei STD King With student protests raging out of control and exorbitant severance packages being handed out like mints at a diner, Concordia University has decided it’s time for a rebrand.

After striking a deal with its smarter, richer green-line cousin, Concordia will be known as McGill Lite.

The agreement was reached over the weekend between Fred Lowy president of Concordia and Heather Munroe-Blum principal and vice-chancellor of McGill.

“We’re very excited about this partnership,” said Lowy. “Concordia has long been known as McGill’s little brother, this deal just makes that official.”

In exchange for McGill’s name,

Concordia has agreed to allow McGill students to integrate into Concordia’s journalism program.

Along with the naming rights Concordia students will now get to walk around with an undeserved sense of superiority and entitlement that comes with being a McGill student.

The Concordia journalism program is the department that stands to gain the most in the partnership. The level of self-importance that journalism students will be feeling when mixed with the oldfashioned McGill pretentiousness is almost certain to make Loyola’s CJ building unbearable for outsiders to spend time in.

“Journalism students have long over-valued their importance to society and McGill students have long over-valued their importance to everything, so this is truly

a perfect match,” said department head Linda Yak. While the school’s executives are excited about the partnership, not all students are on board.

“Concordia students are — I don’t want to say a lesser breed, well actually I do — they are a lesser breed,” said second-year McGill student Nathaniel (not Nathan, Nathaniel) Bell-Rogers, heir to both the Bell and Rogers media fortunes.

“The move was all about name recognition,” said Lowy. “When people see the word ‘McGill’ they think about lawyers and prime ministers. We’re hoping to latch on to those coat tails and never let go.”

The name change won’t take effect until 2013 so any students graduating in the next two years will still have a degree from Con-

cordia University. However, anyone who enrolls in the school as of next year will be graduating with a McGill Lite degree.

“I’m really excited,” said a CEGEP student recently accepted to Concordia. “I thought I was accepted to Concordia but now I’ll end up with a degree from McGill!

Plus McGill Lite is a cool name. It sounds like a beer or something.”

More details of the merger will be released as they are decided upon. One decision still up in the air is whether or not to extend shuttle service to McGill.

“Most people at McGill drive BMW’s their parents bought them.

They are above riding whatever a ‘shuttle bus’ is. I include myself in that category,” said Bell-Rogers.

The schools’ faculties and athletic departments will likely remain separate.

“news” B

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

World in grief

Shuttle bus launched into cyber-space

Buses will remain at campus to pick up wi-fi signals Kamila Hinkson STD manager

Julian Mei & George Menexis

Manilow at Osheaga

Legend Barry Manilow, best known for his extremely provocative songs and soft, soft voice, is rumored to be making an appearance at Montreal’s annual Osheaga music festival. The information exploded on Twitter a couple of days ago, but is said to be untrue, and that Barry retired from his provocative ways years ago. About 10 to 15 fans were bitterly disappointed.

Bell Centre to be turned into indoor golf course

After a disappointing season, the Canadiens organization has decided to turn the Bell Centre into an indoor golf course equipped with a professional driving range and two professionally sized holes. A part of the stands will be kept so fans can come and cheer on the Habs as they attempt impossible putts and talk about how they’ve kept busy not making the playoffs.

ConU to form first ever beer pong team

A team of athletes at Concordia University have formed the first ever beer pong team. This difficult and competitive sport lacked representation at the university level.

After Concordia decided to form a team, many schools such as McGill and UQAM followed suit.

Concordia beer pong team spokesperson said that no one will stand in their way to victory.

City announces highways to crumble by 2019

In an announcement that surprised no one, Montreal’s highways are expected to crumble no later than the year 2019. With fewer and fewer mafia families laundering money through the construction industry the city has no plans to fix or rebuild the highways. Most Montrealers were shocked by the announcement as many expect the highways and tunnels to collapse well before then.

United States solves social security problem

As the United States’ senior population continues to grow, President Barack Obama believes he has found both a solution to the social security crises and a practical use for NASA. He announced the U.S. will build 14 massive rocket ships in Florida (senior citizen capital of the world) which will be disguised as IHOPs to draw in the 4 p.m. dinner crowd. Once the ships are full, the misled seniors will be launched into space where they will spend the rest of their days orbiting earth and showing each other pictures of their grandchildren.

On Wednesday, March 21, Concordia University kicked off its new wireless Internet pilot project for the shuttle buses, which brings students and staff from Concordia’s downtown campus to the one in Notre-Dame-de-Grâce.

Two of the buses will be equipped with Wi-Fi access, as long as they are parked outside one of the school’s buildings.

The plan is to park the buses on the sidewalks so that laptop and mobile device users will be able to pick up the signal of the wireless network already set up on campus.

“We really believe this measure will benefit our students,” said Moto Chris, the university’s spokesperson, in a statement.

“Wireless Internet access is essential to academic success, so we want [our students] to be as wired as possible at all times.”

In all, the project carries a $1,587,784 price tag to cover the costs associated with parking the buses on the sidewalks, which are the city of Montreal’s property.

Passengers seated on the right half of the buses will profit the

most, since it’s the right-hand side will be closer to the building at any given time, thus making the signal stronger.

Ana Krakhauer, a 24-year-old linguistics student, said she now works even harder to get a good seat on the bus.

“Before, I’d run to catch the shuttle in the hopes of getting a seat, any seat,” she explained.

“But now, I run to grab a seat on the right-hand side, and I’m not alone. I’ve pushed and shoved other people a few times. It’s a battle, and it’s exhilarating.“

Some student have found the signal to be especially strong at the back of the bus, which makes Denise Aplomb, a bus driver, very happy.

“I always had to yell at people to move towards the back,” she said. “Now, they pretty much flock to the back. It’s perfect.”

Critics of the plan attack the advertising campaign, calling it propaganda. They claim that though the university says the project has been implemented on two buses, really, it’s just one.

“Think about it,” explained

Mark Sanford, a 23-year-old student at the John Molson School of Business. “Putting Wi-Fi on half of two buses is only really one bus!

Half plus half equals one!”

At the end of the year-long trial period, Chris said the project may be extended to cover the righthand side of the entire shuttle bus fleet, depending on its popularity.

The online shuttle bus schedule will be amended to show departure times of Wi-Fi-enabled buses

by April 1, 2012. You can consult it here at wifimybus.concordia.ca.

Concordia ends its civil war If you wish upon a star

Student exchange between Loyola and SGW approved Myles Dolphin Opinionated STD contributor Concordia University took a step towards rebuilding the fragile relationship between both its campuses last week, when it authorized the world’s first student exchange within the same school.

Concordia President Fred Lowy described the initiative as the beginning of a beautiful friendship, and praised the countless hours of work put in by hundreds of Concordia volunteers.

“It wasn’t easy, but we finally made it happen,” he said, clearly in great spirits. “We wanted to give these students the opportunity to explore another part of Montreal, and a campus they would never set foot on under normal circumstances.”

The idea for the exchange arose during a CSU council meeting, when one member suggested it as a way of halting the years of libelous accusations between campuses.

“I’ve never been to the downtown campus myself,” said Jennifer Fitzgerald, VP Loyola, “but I heard it’s nice and we really need to put these silly differences behind us.”

The aforementioned differences refer to a brochure promoting the benefits of studying at Concordia that was distributed across Canada to various high schools. The cover page displayed pictures of both campuses, but the Loyola campus pictures were so cropped and reduced in size that they only showed the large rocks be-

hind the CJ building and the iconic brown doors of the administration building.

“I’ll never forgive them for that,” said Loyola campus head of security Marcus Johnson. “I’ve been working here all my life and I’ve never been so insulted.”

One of the students in the exchange, Frank Yamaguchi, is an NDG resident. He’ll be going to the downtown campus for the first time in his life and he admits to being nervous.

“I don’t know anything about it besides what my friends have told me and the stories I’ve heard here and there,” he said while biting his lips. “For example, I know that the Hall building has this one big communal bathroom where they make everyone go at the same time, so I really hope I can avoid that if possible.”

The other student in the exchange, Carolyn Francoeur of the Mile End, is excited about discovering Montreal West and plans on taking a lot of pictures during her stay there.

“I got a postcard from a pen pal there once, it looks nice,” she said while packing her passport into her suitcase. “I’m looking forward to taking the shuttle bus but I’m not sure how long the flight will be.”

President Lowy is hoping this display of goodwill between campuses can end years of petty bickering.

“If East and West Germany put aside their differences and found a way to get along, so can both of our campuses, and this is a great start.”

Concordia replaces highest graduation distinction with ‘grant a wish’ system Myles Dolphin Opinionated STD contributor Concordia University is experimenting with a pilot project that will grant a wish to students who graduate with Great Distinction, according to the Office of the Registrar and Enrolment Services.

The idea was conceived back in January when Brian Wisle, Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Science at Concordia, was watching Aladdin at home.

“The idea just came to me,” he said. “I thought, wouldn’t it be cool if instead of adding a couple of pointless words on a diploma, we could actually start granting wishes to students who really deserved it?”

When Wisle first mentioned the idea to his colleagues, it created a firestorm of controversy. Dozens of faculty members voiced their discontent with the idea.

“What if a student wants to fly to the moon?” said part-time English professor Ken Stokes. “Are we going to divert badly-needed funds just so this punk kid can get his wish? We’re setting a dangerous precedent here.”

Wisle argues that because so few people actually graduate with Great Distinction, an honor reserved for students who end the academic year with a GPA above 4.00, it makes it easier to negotiate wishes that are within the realm of feasibility.

“I wanted to create an extra incentive for students to try harder in class

and get good grades,” said Wisle. “Students who qualify for this wish will be briefed on the guidelines to follow, and of course the limits within which they can make their request. Certain restrictions apply.”

Eligible students will have to create a lengthy, detailed proposal about their request and submit it to Wisle before the fall semester begins.

One student, Jason Kenna, has a GPA of 3.9 and plans on working hard to graduate with Great Distinction.

“There’s this girl I’ve been eyeing in one of my classes,” he says, showing a picture of her on his smartphone.

“She won’t take my phone number or even my email address, but if I get this wish, I’m hoping Concordia can hook me up with a date or at least some digits.”

Jasmine Henly studies journalism and doesn’t know what she would do, given the opportunity to make a wish.

“I wouldn’t request something silly like bringing Michael Jackson back to life by cloning him, but I think I would aim for something more realistic, like making Nicki Minaj my best friend for a year, or something like that,” she said while adjusting her Hunter rain boots.

Concordia geography professor Erin Miller was part of the committee that drafted the guidelines for it.

“We made a huge list of pros and cons for this,” she said. “Not only will this lead to more students registering at Concordia, but by doing another degree, I finally get a crack at driving a Lamborghini.”

thestd

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

C

Tuition increase to fund va- CSU goes whatever the let service at ConU opposite of green is Plan will help students, economy Chris Hanna STD producer The fight against tuition increases has ended for Concordia Students Who Drive To School (CSWDTS) whose wishes to implement a valet service at the school’s Loyola campus will be granted.

“We told the minister [of education Lynn Fields], ‘give us a valet service, and will be back off this whole protest thing’,” said the group’s president Raul Esteban. “Lynn is the sweetest. She said ‘sure’ and totally understood the importance of a good valet service for students.”

The group, whose secret membership includes more than 500 Concordia students, some at the highest echelons of student government, according to Esteban, has vowed to press their departments and classmates to stop picketing and just accept the increases, because they “will definitely be getting something in return now.”

“I think I’m supposed to be against this,” said CSU President Jill Alexander, “so yeah, I’m totally outraged, I think.”

The parking situation around Loyola is less than ideal for students who drive to the NotreDame-de-Grâce campus, with construction, water main repairs and even snow (yes, snow: a borough spokesperson said NDG’s snow removal strategy is to let the sun do its work) taking up spots that could easily accommodate

cars, trucks and SUVs. “This is such a great idea,” said Concordia student Chris Hanna, who also wrote this article. “You don’t know how many times I’ve circled the campus looking for a parking spot, only to have to park in a non-parking spot and run to my class, hoping I won’t get a ticket.”

In a letter to The Concordian which has been edited for length, clarity and angle, a representative at Greenpeace also called this plan “a[n]...idea” that will “make more people drive instead of taking public transit,” which is gross.

“I waste so much gas driving around the block looking for a spot,” Hanna said. “Too bad I am graduating and won’t be able to benefit from this amazing service!”

The CC building, which people forget is a thing at Concordia, will be demolished to make room for the four-storey complex that will be able to accommodate more than 800 cars.

The new service will also create job (yes, just the one).

“I’m so fortunate and excited to have been hired by the university,” said the lucky driver.

“But I’m probably more excited about my eventual dismissal. I’ve heard about how generous Concordia’s severance packages could be.”

Students who wish to use the service would leave their car and key with the valet who will be at the parking lot in front of the CC building from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. every day of the week.

“Life is about giving and taking, you know?” said Esteban. “We’ll be paying more for tuition, but think of all the frustration drivers will be spared and all the time they’ll save!

And isn’t time, as they say, money?”

ConU doles out $2.7M to fired janitor The school gravy train keeps rolling Julian Mei Mr. STD It seems Concordia just doesn’t learn. After recently being slapped with a $3 million dollar fine for handing out ludicrous severance packages, documents received by The Concordian through an access to information request revealed the school gave $2.7 million in severance to Mike Stanley, a 45-year-old janitor at the Loyola campus.

“Mike did a great job and deserved that money,” said Concordia president Fred Lowy.

“If you want to attract the best talent to the school you have to reward people accordingly.

Loyola had the cleanest floors, the whitest white boards and freshest urinal cakes.”

The $2.7 million, paid out over five years, is certain to outrage an already angered and hostile student body.

“This is just ridiculous. My tuition just keeps rising to well below what everyone else in Canada pays, and the school is handing out millions to a janitor?” said Andrew Mann, a broke second-year student drinking a $6 Starbucks coffee, carrying a $2,000 MacBook and wearing a $70 Abercrombie hoodie.

A student protest has already been planned by the undergrads for the next sunny Thursday afternoon.

“All our protests take place on Thursday because no one has class on Friday so it’s nice to have a four-day weekend,” said CSU president Lex Kill. “And I mean, like, if it’s not sunny out no one wants to protest. Plus it’s always in the afternoon because, like, we like to sleep in. We still want to get our voices heard

and make a difference, as long as it’s convenient for us. That’s just our generation.”

Lowy is urging students not to be too bitter though. “The students are still our top priority,” he said. “We know how important it is to have clean washrooms and floors so this sends a message to the cream-of-the-crop in the custodial community that Concordia University is the place to be.”

Lowy is correct in his statement. Upon the news breaking, a flood of applications came in to the school (upwards of 5,000 resumes) of people hoping to replace Stanley.

“Getting a job at Concordia pays as well as winning the lottery, only you don’t have to buy a ticket and you can make more money,” said one applicant who requested to remain anonymous.

“

If you want to attract the best talent to the school you have to reward people accordingly. Loyola had the cleanest floors, the whitest white boards and freshest urinal cakes.

- Fred Lowy, ConU president On top of rewarding a hard-working janitor Lowy also said it felt good to give a nice big “fuck-you” to Quebec Minister of Education Line Beauchamp and show the school will spend money wherever it sees fit.

Beauchamp reacted by bringing her pinky to her lips and saying in a Dr. Evil voice that Concordia would be fined an additional gazillion dollars.

Union hosting a non-vegetarian ecodamaging luncheon Paula Rivas STD lifer

Back by popular demand of two CSU members who “really enjoyed it last time,” the CSU is hosting a luncheon inviting anyone who wants to attend. This time though, they’re bringing the beef.

CSU decided to steer away from its traditional veggie menu because it believes that being a vegetarian is so 2011, and it is time to embrace the food of the masses, and the beef of the people.

The CSU started this effort at Loyola campus realizing that, Loyola students are the rejects of Concordia (in the fun department that is), and maybe deserve some spoiling. Loyola campus, carefully hidden between the snobby boy scouts in suits from Loyola high school and the giant sports stadium and gym, is isolated. Naturally, Loyola students do not get invited to all the sweet downtown parties or luncheons. Loyola students are like the annoy-

ing fat friend that nobody wants to invite to the sleepover but everyone is too nice to tell them. So the sweet people of CSU have decided to create a special type of luncheon in The Hive cafeteria. The event will be a fatty, beefy, bottled water and styrofoam plated affair.

“Caring about the environment? Overrated. Styrofoam and plastic is the new thing. Beef is in, dolphin safe tuna is for losers,” a Loyola student was overheard saying to himself.

Penny pinchers, you can stop being money prudes because this luncheon is completely free. So People’s Potato can keep their hippie food, while Loyola is shipped a different dish.

CSU members insist that this change is in no way associated with CSU not wanting to spend money on actual cutlery or actual nutritious hipster people food, but because this is the new trend. The only condition is that you must bring your own napkins.

A CSU representative commented on the new meal selection in Loyola saying, “Yeah whatever, it’s great for them.”

You can drop by The Hive at Loyola from Monday to Friday at 12:30 this week to enjoy a delicious, morally void, artery clogging meal.

Streaker attacks strikers Man shows naked truth about the strike Sophia Loffreda STD assistant Yesterday morning, a group of students protesting the government’s proposed tuition hikes outside of the Hall building downtown were thrown into a frenzy. The reason for their freak out? A male student suddenly came running out of the library across the street, naked and painted in American colours of red, blue, and white.

The white stars were strategically placed along the unknown students buttocks and genitalia, as if to hide them from onlookers - unfortunately the paint had somewhat melted in the mid-afternoon sun and was nothing more than a poor camouflage.

As he emerged from the library onlookers said they thought the incident was nothing more than a childish prank.

“He just stood there at first, with his arms raised. The only thing that wasn’t painted were his armpits so he looked pretty funny. Then he started yelling, ‘America!

America! Fuck the strike! Be like America and pay the hike!’” said Chelsea Bush, a third year pottery major. “Maybe he was from the U.S., either way, he was definitely making a statement about how we should pay expensive tuition like them.”

Little did strikers know that he would sprint straight into the crowd of protesters and shamelessly start shimmying and rubbing his white star spangled buttocks against them.

“I was wearing a gorgeous black wrap dress that day, because I wanted to look good for the CBC and CTV camera crews that have been filming the strike. But now it’s totally ruined! It has white body paint all over it. So disgusting,” said London Hilton, a first year club hopping major.

Although most streakers would content themselves with the havoc, the young man did not stop there. Video cameras caught him running into the Hall building and climbing six floors of dysfunctional escala-

“

The guy just kept bending down and rubbing his ass all along her glass window.

He was really into it.

- Daniel Craig, witness

tors, before arriving outside the office of Ms. Judith Woodland. Woodland, Concordia’s former President turned French teacher extraordinaire, was sitting in her glass office at the time. The streaker made eye contact and then proceeded to rub his front and back across the glass doors as Woodsworth watched, mouth agape.

Second year private eye major, Daniel Craig, said he saw the “hole” ordeal as he was walking out of the men’s washroom near Woodland’s office. “It was hilarious.

The guy just kept bending down and rubbing his ass all along her glass window. He was really into it. When he was done, the glass door was completely covered in white and you couldn’t see Woodland’s face anymore. She probably doesn’t see that many naked guys though, so I’m sure she liked it.”

The brown haired young man’s face was also painted, making him impossible to recognize, but it was probably Chris Hanna, production manager at The Concordian.

Witnesses and school security have viewed the tapes numerous times, but the student has yet to be identified (but it’s probably Chris Hanna). Anyone with hunches or information that could help identify the hooligan are urged to come forward (i.e. If you know the whereabouts of Chris Hanna).

guides/how-to D

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Get the flabby body you’ve always dreamed of

Because there’s no shame in looking like a ‘before’ picture Chris Hanna STD Hannimal

All the ruckus surrounding six-pack abs, bulging biceps and healthy lifestyles is seriously marginalizing men who wish to be flabulous, which a recent survey found was 71 per cent* of the world’s male population.

Flabulosity is a state of mind, and its benefits are well beyond physical. For starters, you don’t have to worry about being the popular 30-34 pants size. After you flabify yourself, you’ll never have to ask the employees at Old Navy if they can “check the back” for cargo shorts in size 42, or V-necks in XXXL. What a time saver! Follow these simple steps and you’ll also get to buy moomoos from maternity wear stores with your new “pregnant lady” body type.

1. Don’t fight it. The more sedentary your life, the quicker you’ll see results. This means picking a career that will have you tied to an office desk for nine to 12 hours a day and catching up on daytime shows you missed when you get home at night.

2. Never eat standing up or on the run.

Sit to eat and, when possible, nap after every meal.

3. Having a big meal before bedtime will accelerate your flabulosity by 24 per cent.

4. Eat a lot of fruit...roll-ups. Those things are artificially flavoured and have tons of sugar added to them because raw fruits are so gross.

6. If it’s good without bacon, it’ll be even better with it. This can be applied to everything from your morning cereal, which you should have with heavy cream instead of milk, to your midnight piece of cheesecake.

7. The answer to “Would you like milk or cream in your coffee?” should be “mayonnaise.”

8. And you definitely want sugar.

9. Hydrate: it’s important to have your eight glasses of non-diet soda, daily, but remember that soda can be substituted for juice cocktails (with sugar added), Slurpees or melted ice cream (with bacon).

10. Order for two for one. It’s amazing how the portions for two people are much bigger than the portions for one person.

Who would have thunk it?

11. The drive-thru is your friend: you don’t want to burn any coveted calories by walking to and from your car into McDonald’s or Burger King.

12. Be strong in the face of betrayal: Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen and Drew Carey may have jumped ship, but they are unhappier, that’s for sure. *an educated guess

Lose a guy in one day The art of screwing up a potential relationship has never been so simple Paula Rivas STD creeper

O

ne day. One date. One guy to terrify so badly that he will never call back.

Ladies, start your engines. If the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days impressed you, but you wished there was a quicker and more thorough method to lose a gentleman suitor forever, read no further than the following guide. If your date calls you for a second rendez-vous, you’ve done something wrong.

“

Creep out Facebook strategy: Start the conversation with, “so I was checking out your Facebook wall and...” For the rest, just ask what his friend meant when he made that inside joke on his wall, or who that girl that laughed at his Facebook comment is or why you guys don’t have Facebook pictures together.

Drop the L bomb: While you are on that first date, turn to him and say: “I know this is fast but I think that I love you, and I think that what we have is so strong we can potentially have a great future together.” Keep a straight face and voila, date ruined.

Going green is so last season Elizabeth “Come at me, bro” Tomaras STD copier

If the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days impressed you, but you wished there was a quicker and more thorough method to lose a gentleman suitor forever, read no further than the following guide.

- Paula Rivas

DiSguSt Slut factor: When you’re telling him the number of guys you have slept with, here is the rule: multiply your number by two and tell him that number. Also add “but don’t worry, I get checked like almost every month.”

Fart openly: Drink a lot of Coke, or spicy food or whatever does the trick. The more you act like a trucker, the more he will want to run away.

Be less environmentally friendly

Annoy Text like a psycho: Text him ALL THE TIME. Right when you get out of the shower, as you feed your dog, all the time. When he doesn’t answer back, and I guarantee you he will stop, text back one of the following: “hello?”, “Are you ignoring me?”, or the classic “Thanks for not texting back.”

Baby talk: Start talking to him as if he were a puppy or a baby. This means replacing the word “little” with “wittle” and basically all L’s turn to W’s. Squint like an idiot and pucker up your lips while talking. At first he will probably laugh it off and think it is kind of weird and funny, but when you don’t stop doing it you’ll go down in his books as a top notch psychopath.

I

f you think living in Canada forces us to withstand harsh winter conditions, think again.

Making small adjustments to your daily routine can help accelerate that beautiful thing called global warming, and enable us to experience warm temperatures until our skins burn to a crisp.

Is there the possibility that, as a society, we are being too green? Speaking with environmentalist Hap E. Treez, apparently there isn’t. “The state of our planet is dismal,” explained Treez. “How could you even ask me such a question? We need to save our Earth.”

However, global warming enthusiast Sonny Heat disagrees. “Are you kidding?”

Heat said with a laugh. “Listening to those tree-hugging hippies will lead to longer winters and shorter summers and, honestly, who would want that?”

So whip out your lawn chairs, grab your sunglasses and fill up those popsicle trays with fruit juice – here is a guide on how to be less environmentally friendly.

Step 1: You know that blue bin outside your house? Forget it. Besides being the ugliest colour, it’s inconvenient and a serious invasion of privacy. Why do your neighbours need to know which brands or products you buy? Unlike your trusty garbage can, recycling requires you to not

only waste your precious time sorting and leaves your personal items exposed for all to see. With garbage cans, everything you no longer need can be concealed in a bag and without anyone judging your consumption habits. And don’t forget to fill it to the top – they’re big for a reason.

Step 2: Are you the recent owner of a shiny, new car? If not, what are you waiting for? By taking your ride for numerous spins a day, you’ll be contributing to the greenhouse effect, which is the top culprit in warming the planet! Gas may be pricey but cars these days are engineered to be fuel-efficient and ensure you’re getting more miles for less money. Think about it: with all that saved cash, frequent shopping trips (with the help of your car, no doubt) you’ll be happy and looking fabulous. This tip kills two birds with one stone – mass consumerism causes manufacturers to pump out more and more products undoubtedly putting more stress on the planet and, therefore, speeding up the global warming process. You’re welcome.

Step 3: March 22 is World Water Day. I like to think of it as Who Cares Day. Apparently the world’s freshwater reserves are running low and water pollution seems to be an increasing concern. People are using water needlessly. Remember your new car? It obviously needs to be clean so forget about what the crazy environmentalists are saying and wash it multiple times a day.

Wash your house too, while you’re at it!

Furthermore, why do we need to conserve water when we have bottled water? Washing your hair with Evian is much cooler anyway.

And there you have it. Follow this easy guide and that glorious summer season will be closer than ever!

lifestyle

thestd

Pick up less women Seven lucky tips to getting unlucky Julian Mei STD bachelor

Are you an 18-25 year old guy who is sick of having too much sex? You’re not alone. A survey I made up in my mind just now shows that 47 per cent of men in that age demographic complained about “getting laid” too often. Fortunately, there is a solution to this epidemic. Just follow the tips below and you’ll find yourself having the least sex you could ever imagine.

“

Are you an 18-25 year old guy who is sick of having too much sex? You’re not alone. A survey I made up in my mind just now shows that 47 per cent of men in that age demographic complained about “getting laid” too often.

- Julian Mei

1. CheeSy piCk-up lineS work the worSt

“Are you Jamaican? ‘Cuz you’re Ja-makin’ me horny.” The success rate of that line (or one comparable to it) ranges somewhere between zero and never, so make sure to start every conversation at a bar in that fashion.

The more it sounds like something your 13year-old cousin would say the better.

2. tAlk About yourSelf Girls love talking about themselves but you hate to listen. Problem solved. Keep the conversation centred around you. Your career, your accomplishments, your goals, your DUIs and, most importantly, YOUR past relationships (especially the ones that ended in a train wreck).

3. pAy with CouponS Paying with a coupon sends a lot of messages to girls--none of them good. Coupons say that no thought went into the date, you just picked the first thing you found in a community weekly newspaper that said “Buy one get one...” Most importantly, though, it says you are either cheap or broke (likely both) and no girl wants to hook up with a guy who’ll be serving No Name brand Pop-Tarts for breakfast.

4. Chew with your mouth open It’s gross. Do it.

5. give up eASily Most hookups will require some degree of compromising and perseverance. Just channel your inner Vince Carter and give up and quit the first time something will require more than the absolute bare minimum effort. In true Vince Carter fashion, fake an injury to get out of a date or skip it altogether to attend your graduation in North Carolina.

6. mAke obSCure SportS referenCeS She won’t get (See above).

7. Come off AS neeDy AnD overbeAring

Your constant desire for reassurance and insecurity are certain to show her you’re a doormat who she can walk all over and never have to give anything in return. All you have to do is sit back and watch as she leaves the bar or party with a meat-head in an Ed Hardy T-shirt, after you paid for all her food and drinks.

Live longer by stalking

WNBA salaries to increase Players may soon be making minimum wage Julian Mei WNBA superfan The WNBA announced this week that the league’s salary cap will increase 25 per cent from $1,500 to $2,000 for the beginning of the 2012 season.

“The increase in the cap shows how far the league has come and the bright future we can look forward to,” said WNBA president Laurel Richie.

With the increase in the salary cap, WNBA salaries are expected to skyrocket. Minnesota Lynx superstar Maya Moore recently signed the richest contract in league history, a fouryear deal worth upwards of $450 dollars per season. The contract comes just weeks after Moore put her name on the richest endorsement deal in league history, signing an agreement with Payless ShoeSource that gave her a coupon book with over $200 in savings, and 50 per cent off a pair of Skechers.

“I think this shows young women everywhere that it is possible to command some type of salary playing in the WNBA, and avoid paying all the fees that playing in a rec league would entail,” said Moore.

The cap increase does not come without warrant. In the past 15 years, the WNBA has grown from a little known league that hemorrhaged money, to a well known league that hemorrhages slightly less money.

Last year’s WNBA finals between the Minnesota Lynx and Atlanta Dream drew a television audience of 26 (not a Nielson rat-

Pint size Poughkeepsie princess produces pop art

Statistically proven tips on how to get the most out of following strangers

Forget about soup cans – it’s all about the spray tan

Elizabeth Mackay STD contributor

Elizabeth Tomaras STD, bro

Recreational stalkers have long been discriminated against, often pigeonholed as sick freaks or excluded from the ‘in crowd’. Social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and MySpace have released stalkers from all stigma.

You are now encouraged to browse profiles while appearing offline, poke and friend request as many strangers as you desire.

A study performed by McGill University’s graduate psychology students has proven that there is an even healthier way to satisfy the human urge to stalk.

“Take it to the streets,” urged Dr. Ellen Pelletier, the chair of McGill’s psychology department.

“If you stalk in person, rather than online, you will burn twice as many calories, double your serotonin levels, boost your immune system and forge a much deeper relationship

with your victim.”

Dr. Pelletier’s research assistants gathered their findings into three key principles that all stalkers should abide by to achieve ultimate satisfaction.

Stick to strangers: Never stalk someone that knows who you are. They will find out you’re a stalker, fall in love with you and grow jealous of your other victims.

Watch from a distance: Never get too close, just stare. Stalkers want to go unnoticed. The mystery lies in never speaking, touching or physically meeting the person.

Only stalk during the day: The most successful stalkers understand that stalking during the day is best, for it’s when your victim feels safest and lets their guard down. Only the Boogeyman stalks at night.

According to Pelletier, members of social networking sites can troll profile pictures and tweets all they want, but will be at their happiest when they follow their victims in person.

To find out if you or someone you are seeing is a stalker, take our quiz on page H!

ing of 26, a total of 26 people watched the game) when it was broadcast on tape delay at 3 a.m. on NBA TV. The Lynx swept the bestof-five series 3-0, including a thrilling Game 3 where the Lynx clinched the franchise’s first WNBA title with a 32-29 win on home court. Gate attendance for the final game also set a new record as a sold-out crowd of 149 people packed a high-school gymnasium in suburban Minneapolis. Rumours are circulating that some people in attendance may have even paid for tickets, and not just received them free with a purchase of a value-combo at Burger King.

“The key has been to get players’ friends and family members to actually come watch the games,” said Richie about the league’s recent growth. “It’s been a very successful marketing campaign. We’ve just been calling the parents of the players and informing them their daughters are playing professional basketball. Many of them are pleasantly surprised to hear this and are usually more than willing to attend a couple games and maybe even purchase some merchandise.”

Another key has been the addition of an NBA style All-Star weekend to the WNBA’s schedule.

The event closely mimics the NBA, featuring a skills competition on Saturday and an All-Star game on Sunday.

“The premier event of the weekend is definitely the lay-up competition,” said Richie.

“It’s like the NBA’s slam-dunk contest, but many people prefer our version as it puts more emphasis on proper fundamentals.”

The WNBA season kicks off on May 18 when the Los Angeles Sparks face the Seattle Storm.

Warhol, Lichtenstein, Wesselmann, Polizzi.

That’s right, folks, Nicole Polizzi, better known as Snooki from Jersey Shore, has sparked a bit of an uproar in the art community following her announcement that, in addition to sunglasses, slippers and soda, she will be adding Pop Art to her ever-growing resume.

“I’m pregnant so how else am I going buy leopard print stuff for my baby?” said Snooki at a press conference at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City. “I’m almost finished, what I like to call, my Bronze Age.” And it will be quite a Bronze Age – the guidette, famous for her ultra tanned skin, will mainly use spray tan on canvas to create her art. The idea came about after a late night of drinking and clubbing at the Shore. Stumbling back into the Jersey house that Snooki and her roommates share while filming their reality show, she decided to have an alcoholinduced spray tan fight with fellow “meatball” Deena Cortese.

“I grabbed this freakin’ huge bottle of tanning spray and started trashing the place. I got some on a white towel and Deena told me I should be an artist,” confessed Snooki. “Then I thought ‘Oh my God, how do I get in?’”

However, others seem to strongly disagree

“

Bansky? Is he that DJ who was at Karma last night?

- Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

with the notion that the reality starlet could be considered a legitimate artist. “I think it’s utterly ridiculous,” said French painter Réal Ahrteezt. “Art must come from your soul, not a bottle of vodka.”

Snooki’s method of creating her highly anticipated works has had art connoisseurs comparing her to graffiti enthusiast Banksy.

When asked about the similarity, Snooki replied as one would assume. “Banksy? Is he that DJ who was at Karma last night?”

In an attempt to dissuade any of those pesky non-believers, Snooki said she promises her art will resonate with young people and encourage them to visit museums and galleries. “I think I’m a good person for doing this,” she explained. “I have more than four million followers on Twitter so some of them are gonna want to see my stuff. I mean, imagine all the guidos and guidettes that will be visiting museums!”

Snooki described her work’s subject matter as “anything and everything related to the place I love most – the Shore” and will include her interpretations of the roommates’ Sunday dinners, prints of pickle jars reminiscent of Warhol’s Campbell’s soup cans and an Ed Hardy shirt. “It’s gonna be freakin’ insane,” assured Snooki.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

#music #in Super fan still looking for Nirvana band reunion #the #news Washington state Sofia Gay

She’s rock royalty now

Lana Del Rey fans can rejoice, for their poutylipped leader is being written into music history. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has named its 2012 inductees, with Del Rey being the first name announced. The selection committee pinpointed her career-making SNL performance as the deciding factor in their decision, commending the singer for her “captivating movements and enchanting vocals.” Groups claiming Del Rey used obscure pagan magic to sway the committee’s decision have been largely ignored. When asked to comment, Del Rey said, “Yeah...like, it’s just really nice, ’cause I just got out of a relationship where all he did was play Wii...ya know?” After the ceremony she will join Kim Kardashian on tour, whose Why Did I Get Married drops later this month.

KISSing headlining tours goodbye

This summer, KISS are gonna rock and roll all night – or, at least, until Justin Bieber takes the stage. The rockers are opening for the Biebs following a sudden downturn in popularity and funds after frontman Gene Simmons succumbed to the shackles of marriage. “Nobody wants to see some old, married dude wagging his tongue on stage,” said a source. The tour will hit the U.S. first before making a round through Europe, where KISS will work their own merch table, as well as Bieber’s, to make some extra cash. Due to ticket-buyers’ disinterest in their original catalogue, they will be performing timeless Bieber tunes such as “Baby,” and covers of other contemporary artists such as LMFAO.

Andrew Guilbert

Cougars be all over town

Coming hot off the heels of their iconic film careers – with smash hit W.E. and instant classic Maid in Manhattan – Madonna and J.Lo are ready to conquer the small screen with a new reality television show. On the Prowl will follow the superstars as they travel the flighty rivers of dating younger men, or as Urban Dictionary calls it, being at the pinnacle of “cougardom.” Madonna will reveal all the secrets in her relationship with 24-year-old breakdancer Brahim Zaibat, while Lopez will be seen dealing with her first boytoy foray Casper Smart, also 24.

Each episode will also dedicate a portion to the Conquering Cougar’s Do’s and Dont’s, including lessons on “building your cougar den” and “training your cub.”

It’s Nyan-errrrrrific!

If you love cereal, cats and video game sounds played ceaselessly, then does Kellogg’s have the thing for you! This week, the company is introducing Nyan Mix, a new cereal based on the popular YouTube video. With bits of Pop-Tart, whole grain goodness and a “soft but tasteful” aroma of kitty litter, Kellogg’s claims it has found the new Froot Loops. The product will cater to the technology age too, with a flap on the box that can be lifted to activate a sound system, so you can eat Nyan Mix while listening to the soothing sounds of the Nyan Cat. Its public availability has yet to be confirmed, as the product’s astronomically high sugar content is forcing Health Canada to determine an appropriate daily intake.

resident starts a petition to get Aberdeen rock group touring again Julian Mei Sports editor

A 43-year-old Spokane, Washington resident is fed up with his favourite band and is starting a petition.

James McMillen says this band has not toured or released an album in almost 20 years. Which band is McMillen talking about? Former Seattlebased grunge rock group, Nirvana.

The band, of course, came to its infamous end when lead singer and guitarist Kurt Cobain commited suicide on April 5, 1994, while McMillen was on vacation.

“I went away to Costa Rica without any televisions or anything in early April of 1994 when In Utero was still topping the charts. I was excited for the European tour and the next album and then it was like the band just disappeared,” said McMillen, who still remains oblivious about Cobain’s death.

“Jimmy just loved that band so much,” said his mother Linda McMillen. “We just didn’t have the heart to tell him what happened. He really admired Kurt and he was such a simpleton to begin with so covering things up hasn’t really been that difficult.”

Lately, James, who now works as an insurance salesman in Spokane, has been walking around the city gathering signatures on a petition he hopes to send the band to get them back into the studio and on tour. He has three signatures so far.

“It’s weird,” he said. “The band is still so pop-

ular, you hear them on the radio all the time and people still love their music so I can’t believe no one is signing my petition. Some people even look at me like I have two heads when I tell them what I’m doing. It’s very odd.”

While people have tried to inform McMillen of the death of Cobain, he simply refutes the statements.

“How could Cobain have died in April of 1994?” said McMillen. “The MTV Unplugged in New York wasn’t released until November of that year and it even debuted as the number one album!”

The idealistic man is simply not willing to believe Cobain died and refutes the fact the album was released posthumously after Cobain’s death.

“There’s no way the record label or Courtney

Love would allow that to happen,” said McMillen.

“Record execs and Courtney Love would probably be so upset if Kurt died that releasing an album he pre-recorded just to make a few extra bucks would never cross their minds.”

“I know Kurt is a real quiet guy and he probably quit making music to spend more time with Courtney and his daughter, but the Nirvana fans are some of the best music fans in the world and they deserve another album or tour or something. I hope my petition can help convince the band to get back in a studio.”

McMillen also said he will not be using any type of online forums or petition as he “doesn’t much care for television or the Internet or newspapers and magazines.”

Going GaGa for pantsuits The ballad of ConU Nicki Minaj and Lady Gaga collaborate for new clothing line Sophia Loffreda Production assistant Pop music’s favourite pantless ladies have decided to create what they refuse to wear. At a press conference earlier this week, the loud and spunky duo announced that they will be collaborating on a pants suit line to be released on Dec. 21, 2012.

The collection’s release date can be seen as pun or fact. Many suspect December 21 to be the end of the world, while others say the day Lady Gaga puts some pants on will be the day the Earth stops spinning. Either way, Gaga and Minaj spoke of plans to visit China next week, where they will tour the lucky factory and children chosen to produce their soon-to-be best selling pieces.

They have named the line “Born Friday,” a merging of Lady Gaga’s Born This Way album and Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday album.

Although they both live in separate states, and are rarely seen together, the two insist they are soul sisters. They say they will use modern technology like Skype and FaceTime to turn their creative ideas into reality. With Gaga stomping around New York and Minaj skipping around L.A., it will

make for different influences and inspiration.

“I would really like to see some hot pants out there, some pink blazers, and a lot of curve-enhancing suits,” said Minaj. “Gaga loves metallic and studs so that’ll be a gorgeous contrast. I never wear pants because they just don’t look as good. Skirts make me feel much girlier. But these pant suits will be flattering and comfortable.”

“I don’t wear pants for the same reasons,” Gaga added.

“They’re just so restricting and I like to feel free in every aspect of my life. You know what they say, if you can’t find what you want, just make it yourself. That’s what we’re doing.”

The line is something the pop stars hope to keep going, eventually even growing it into a fashion and lifestyle brand.

Gaga says she has a vision for their future. “I love soap, and bubble baths,” explained Gaga.

“It really allows me to soak in my own essence, get my creative spirit bubbling, and meditate. So, after the pant suit collection, I think the transition to a lifestyle brand would be a smooth one. I’m a really hygienic person and I want to be able to share that with the world.”

Students capture Concordia through song and dance Marilla Steuter-Martin Co-news editor Concordia has long been famous for its memorable campus experience and vibrant student community. In order to honour this unique sub-culture, several undergraduate fine arts students have joined forces to write and compose a musical production about life at Concordia.

The musical features such original songs as “If I Had Gotten Into McGill” and “The Shuttle Bus Lament,” and “One More Recount.”

The musical’s composer, theatre student Maddy Stein, explained that it was her goal to capture the discontent of the characters through song.

“Why would anyone want to listen to actors whine about their life problems when they could sing about their problems instead?” asked Stein.

The script follows the lives of three undergraduate students who all meet on the first day of classes. Charles, a well-dressed economics student at the John Molson School of Business, Martha, an artistic Fine Arts student struggling to choose between her passion for clay sculpture and photography, and Tom a communications student looking for his place in the world.

The show will require a large cast of students, including a chorus of tap-dancing student governors, a jazz quartet of senior administrators and a gospel choir representing the student body at large.

The writers of the musical, Jonathan Wilder and Sarah Peach told The Concordian that the script had originally been a product of one too many cheap beers at Reggie’s on a Thursday.

“We basically just got really smashed and wrote the script in one night,” said Wilder. “Thank God for spell check right?”

Peach said that once some fellow theatre students took an interest in the project, she started to consider making something out of it.

“We wanted to make something that students could laugh at and relate to,” she said. “I think my favourite part of the play is when Tom almost gets trampled to death in the Hall building stairwell during the People’s Potato rush. It’s classic!”

sports

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

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Time to Bowflex some muscles

How an infomercial changed a man’s life Julian Mei STD workout machine

After starting the year as a pudgy 22-year-old who was a lot more comfortable at a Waffle House than a gym, Concordia’s sports editor Julian Mei had an infomercial change his life. He purchased a Bowflex and became a physical specimen for Greek gods to idolize. Now 23, Julian is in the best shape of his life. He recently sat down with himself in an interview for The Concordian.

Julian Mei (Sports editor): So Julian, describe your life before you purchased a Bowflex for just eight easy payments of $39.99 a month plus shipping and handling.

Julian Mei (Bowflex user): My life before the Bowflex was embarrassing. I was a cookie dougheating, late-night sitcom-watching pansy-ass wimp.

Then one night while I was watching TV, a Bowflex infomercial came on and I found my purpose in life. I called and ordered it right away and in just six to eight business weeks, it arrived on my doorstep and I was ready to get G-d damn extreme!

JM(SE): And what’s your life like now?

JM(BU): Fucking extreme! I do three things: Work out on my Bowflex, which features over 200

different exercises you can do for less than the cost of a gym membership, drink Mountain Dew and get laid! Not always in that order! People used to say I was like the Pillsbury Doughboy, but fatter.

Now I’m being called the sexual phenomena of my generation! The company is actually asking me to be the guy in the before/after pictures for advertisements. I’ve also had to purchase a lot more

opinions

Ed Hardy t-shirts and walk around with an undeserved sense of entitlement calling everyone “bro,” “chief,” or in the case of women “babe.”

JM(SE): Do you ever feel like the Bowflex has made you too physically perfect?

JM(BU): Yeah, I definitely do feel like that, but I knew that would happen when I called the toll free 1-800 number to order what can only be described as G-d’s gift to mankind.

JM (SE): Are there any downsides to working out on a Bowflex?

JM (BU): Well, you will likely have too many women after you. That’s definitely a big one. It’s like ‘Hey ladies, there’s only so much of this hot, chiseled Bowflex body to go around.’ And then guys are always coming up to you asking how you did and it’s like ‘Yo bros, I hardly got time for the ladies!’ It’s a tough life but I manage to get by and manage my time thanks to the free Bowflex day planner that came when I ordered the workout apparatus.

JM (SE): You are in a little bit of trouble with the WWF and PETA. What happened?

JM (BU): Basically, I wanted to test out how strong I had become, so I went into the woods and killed a fully grown male grizzly bear with nothing but my own hands. I sort of felt bad for the bear but I just felt like I needed to show Mother Nature I am the world’s strongest animal. I have a couple komodo dragons lined up for next year.

Time to think outside the classroom

Snakes and ladder concept at Hall

A call to move classes outdoors

To hell with broken escalators and slow elevators

Myles Dolphin STD outdoorsman

George Menexis The MeneSTD

The geese flew overhead as I walked to school, and for a second I thought it was May. Due to unseasonably warm weather lately, and in fact, the warmest March temperatures since 1945, winter has momentarily skipped right to summer.

In the process, classrooms have become veritable psychological prisons while the lush, green lawns around Loyola campus beckon for students to sit on them.

As a result, and in the spirit of promoting “free” and “open” discussions in academic settings, I suggest that Concordia implement a new law stating that all classes should be moved outdoors when temperatures hit 18 degrees.

Most faculty members seemed to agree with the idea, but they had some reservations, too.

“Does everyone bring a chair outside?” said Barry Zarla, part-time journalism professor. “The idea, in principle, is great but the logistics just don’t match.”

Some students were already coming up with crafty ways to trick professors into moving classes outdoors prematurely.

“I figure I’ll be using a lighter a lot,” said Joey Czikk, a journalism graduate student. “The faster I can alter the thermometer, the faster I can sit out-

A new study at Concordia has uncovered the truth behind the Hall building: Every student hates it. The document that emerged from the study says that students “despise the building” and are “questioning its existence.”

Concordia’s administration is therefore looking for innovative ways to make the Hall building more accessible and more attractive to some very angry students. One of the popular ideas is replacing every single staircase and elevator with slides and ladders.

“We basically took a Snakes & Ladders board game and copied the exact layout onto our blueprints,” said Concordia’s facilities and management director John Mair. “The guys that made that game are genius.”

Some people may be questioning the safety of this new design, thinking that the amount of traffic caused by people not being able to climb ladders and people sticking on the slides on hot, sweaty days may cause people to injure themselves. I say, let us forget about safety issues.

Let’s face it - slides and ladders are much more practical. Sliding down straight onto the street after a long and dreadful class is the pickme-up every student needs to get a rush of

side and gaze at everything that springtime has to offer,” he said with a devious smile.

Journalism Department Chair Linda Yak stopped short of endorsing the idea, but agreed that spending more time outside could be beneficial to students.

“Fresh air and a bit of exercise would certainly be conducive towards the learning process, and a little stimulation never hurt anyone,” she said while eating a sandwich in the sunshine.

While certain measures would have to be implemented in order to truly make this idea work, such as making sure students aren’t too distracted or finding spots where professors can hang projector screens from trees, it’s entirely feasible and Concordia would start a trend that would undoubtedly catch on elsewhere.

It’s been proven time and time again that there is a distinct correlation between taking students out of their natural learning environments and a sharp increase in hand-raising and question-asking.

“I say do it, what the hell,” said journalism professor Leo Vaisger. “When I was a kid I learned a hell of a lot more playing outside and screwing with nature than I ever did in a classroom, so when it comes to this idea, I’m giving it a green thumbs up.”

excitement. Also, being students with packed schedules means that exercise becomes very hard to come by nowadays. Climbing a ladder will strengthen our muscles and provide us with some good cardio too. Slides and ladders are much more sturdy and long-lasting than the lame excuse of an escalator system currently present in the Hall building.

To these escalators I say, good riddance.

To the slides and ladders I say, let’s do it.

Replacing stairs and escalators in the Hall building with ladders and slides is not only a good idea, but a necessary one. Probably one of the best ideas since Concordia’s creation. It’s pretty much genius. You will be able to see The Concordian team promoting it later on next week next to a broken down escalator.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

tuesday, March 27, 2012 vol. 1 issue 1 inaugural and final edition Jacques “commander-in-chief” Gallant Outgoing Jill Abramson

Kamila “ don’t cross me” hinKson Minajing editor

chris “Grand dad” hanna Production prisoner

Your day m ay be bad. good .. it de or pend s.

le. peop w e n see ould h s e W

Joel ashaK

Co-news editor

marilla “the General” steuter-martin Woman about town

Paula “latina fantastica” rivas Sex warrior

shaimaa el-Ghazaly Assistant life editor

sofia “Pass the Wine” Gay

Oh my. What a big severance package you ha ve.

The rash isn’t going away? Seek help. Quit scratchin’ it.

Aspiring Lindsay Lohan impersonator

amanda l. shore Bad gurl

allie “#veGan” mason Vegan

nd? , Mr. Bo ie d o t Ready

elizabeth macKay

Assistant music editor

Julian “younG money” mei

Spoof Edition Baaaauuuce

alex Giubelli Absent

myles “tuna” dolPhin

Army experiment subject #6

GeorGe “ricK ross” menexis Terrace King

navneet Pall

Drink of life

Photo editor

Just twist open and enjoy!

Katie “birthday Girl” brioux Hair Twirler

marissa “not the victoria’s secret model” miller Copy editors

heather “adele” riminGton

thesupertremendousdigest

The unfortunate cookies

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elizabeth “bitch, bacK off”tomaras Golden Girl

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Pour content of bottled water evenly into ice cube trays and freeze.

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QUIZ Are you dating a stalker?

Trying to find Mr. Right? Think you’ve already found him? Take this quiz to figure if you have the right man in your life!

1. a) b) c)

When he sees you, he usually: Smiles and waves Ducks into the nearest bush Looks uncomfortable and turns around

2. a) b) c)

When you spot him at your friends’ parties, he: Attempts to make casual conversation Gets kicked out by the angry host Ignores you

3. a) b) c)

What do your friends think of him?

He’s nice and charming They refer to him as that creepy guy who follows you into Starbucks He’s way out of your league

4. a) b) c)

What have his friends told you?

He’s just out of a relationship and definitely looking What friends?

To stop hassling him because he’s happily involved

5.

What kind of gifts has he given you?

a) b) c)

He gave you flowers once He sent you a postcard smeared with blood None

6. a) b) c)

What do you guys talk about?

Common interest and current affairs You threatening the cops next time How he’s really not going to dump his girlfriend

7. a) b) c)

You would define your relationship as: A tale to rival Romeo and Juliet’s Michael Myers and Laurie Strode’s in the original Halloween An exciting game of cat chasing mouse

If you answered mostly A’s: Congrats! He’s, like, totally into you. Time to take it to the next level by maxing out your credit card at a slutty-but-sweet designer house of your choice and showing up at his work unexpectedly.

If you answered mostly B’s: Call the number for 911! This guy’s psycho. Time to get some pepper spray from an SPVM cop and work on your murder victim headshot in case the papers need it one day.

If you answered mostly C’s: Dude, are you sure you’re not the one stalking him?

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Follow us on Twitter: @TheConcordian

19

cineMa poliTica

It’s a dog’s life, but the bones are excellent cinema politica closes the year with a good dose of black humour Brandon Judd Staff writer

I

n Western European tradition, war and strife was exercised through the catharsis of tragedy. Subject matter typically, though not always, dictated the tone of national literature. But where the national epics of the Western Greco-Roman world are weighty fare, Eastern Europe tended towards dark, satirical humour in their fiction; the Czech epic The Good Soldier Švejk, for example, deals with the horror and pointlessness of war in a series of absurd, satirical sketches. This humour, prevalent throughout Slavic countries, appears in its most distilled form in Serbia, where aphorisms are both an observational and a reflective art. And there’s been no shortage of motivation for their use in the past few decades.

In Goodbye, How Are You?, director Boris Mitic appropriates classic Serbian aphorisms to serve as the narration tying together the loose images of post-war Serbia that make up his 60-minute film; in fact, the images are so scattered and unconnected it’s often described as a slideshow rather than a movie.

This structure provides the ideal foundation to make the film a sort of piercing collection. It’s useful that Mitic opens the film

Cinema PolitiCa’s last film of the semester, Goodbye, How Are you?, with grave music and some of the darkest humour—”I have reached the point where I’ll die for what I believe in; thank God I don’t believe in anything anymore”—before a lilting polka becomes the engine of the collage.

emPloys aPhorisms to Create humour.

The aphorisms range from light-hearted—“my wife and I are also organized criminals: I steal bread in one shop, she steals milk in another”—to darkly clever—“either I will be a marionette or my life will hang by a thread”—to the blackest humour, as in

one used to describe the shelling of the enemy in the Bosnian war—“we don’t have blood on our hands; there was blood only up to the knees.”

Mitic’s images show a country still recovering from the war, where hope is a fickle thing and where, he says in his deep deadpan, a black cat crosses your path and then dies the next day.

And while the writing does most of the perceptive work, Mitic also uses a couple visual motifs to buttress aphoristic brickwork.

Cars are a constant feature in the images, yet they are never moving and often appear trapped. A car is suspended on a pole; another, its hood crumpled and rusted, is seen wedged between a highway rail and a rock face. Cars are used as shelters, as shops, and as podiums. And as usual, there’s an aphorism to flesh this out: “I never got to challenge [my friend] to a duel. He was arrested because he double parked. Such a thing can’t go unpunished in this country.”

The film moves quickly; each scene darts past before being discarded in favour of the next tightly packaged observation. There is no sentence or specific thought that lasts more than two dozen words in the entirety of the film, and while groups of two or three shots seem disconnected, groups of 10 or more start to show strong thematic ties.

Seeing black humour applied to a specific historical event, rather than the broad concepts of war or politics at which it’s usually targeted, amplifies both of its edges; the laugh up front is heartier, and the proceeding disquiet is more cringeworthy. Laughing at a screen displaying the real ravages of a real war creates a tension foreign to documentary, impressive for a form that builds on diverse tensions.

Because each of Mitic’s one-liners refuses to build on the last, their humour stays with you only until the next. The disillusionment and despair of the film, however, stays with you long after the screen goes as black as the humour.

Goodbye, How Are You? is showing on April 2 at 7 p.m. in H-110. Check out www.cinemapolitica.org/concordia for more details.

music

20

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Write to the editor: music@theconcordian.com prevIeW

First Aid Kit deliver feeling and folk

SiSterS Johanna and Klara Söderberg bring SwediSh folK to la Sala roSSa on april 3.

Scandinavian sister duo bring ‘folkal’ to Montreal Sarah McMahon-Sperber Contributor

O

kay, it’s official; Scandinavian countries kick ass. Sure, they’ve got the whole tuition-free education system thing mapped out, but I’m talking about the music. Somehow their progressive social structures, northern weather and mish-mash influences have fused together to create some of the freshest, most creative and raw music out there. Sweden’s sister-duo First Aid Kit is no exception to the rule.

From YouTube clips and homegrown EPs, to collaborating with some of music’s finest, young vocalists and instrumentalists Johanna and Klara Söderberg have topped Sweden’s charts for weeks now with their latest fulllength release, The Lion’s Roar.

“It’s really weird,” eldest sister Johanna tells me over Skype about their newfound fame.

“We walk around the streets of Stockholm and I can see people looking at us differently; some even come up and talk to us. I guess sometimes we probably would prefer to just go about our stuff, but I’ve always seen it as something you have to take when you decide to become a musician.”

They will be getting a small break over the

next few months, as they tour North America where they can still be considered a fan’s wellkept secret. But given the group’s raw vocals, perfect harmonies, catchy tunes and stunning performances, they won’t be enjoying anonymity here for too long.

People have been trying to peg down First Aid Kit’s genre since the very start.

“That question always trips me up,” Johanna admits, laughing. “Klara and I actually came up with ‘folkal,’ or folk music that focuses on our vocals. I guess that could work, but to be honest, we think it’s kind of cool that everyone has their own way of interpreting what we do.

It’s never felt too important for us to fit into any given genre.”

Their sound has also evolved considerably.

Their 2008 EP Drunken Trees was a warm, woodsy and stripped-down effort, with their track “Tangerine” featuring laments expected only of women much older than the two sisters, who recorded the album at the tender ages of 15 and 17.

Next came The Big Black and the Blue in 2010, which had them touring extensively across Europe, North America and Australia with a medley of increasingly polished and toe-tapping tracks. It was during one of those shows that they were approached by The White Stripes frontman and music producer, Jack White. They recorded two titles with White, including a cover of Canadian singer-songwriter Buffy Sainte-Marie’s “Universal Soldier.”

Things kept picking up for the sisters, and

“

in February 2011, they YouTube has been a really, linked up with Bright Eyes for a performance really good thing for us. I of their track “Lua.” guess you could say that That collaboration we’re not selling as many would prove defining.

Next thing they knew, records, but it’s opened so producer extraordinaire many doors and provided us and Bright Eyes multiwith so many opportunities. instrumentalist Mike Mogis was offering to produce their next re- Johanna Söderberg cord.

The result is their most recent effort: a country-tinged album that is by far the band’s say that we’re not selling as many records, but most polished and mature. it’s opened so many doors and provided us “Country was a really natural progression with so many opportunities—it’s like a musical for us, and this album has made us much more revolution, really.” confident,” Johanna explains. “Working with The girls will be hitting up Montreal on Mike, which was completely surreal, has also April 3, performing their new stuff at La Sala made us want to really live up to the studio’s Rossa. “We’re excited to come back to Monname and to his expectations. We were defi- treal with the new album,” says Johanna. “We nitely much more focused under that kind of haven’t properly toured in over a year and the pressure than we ever were recording in our album is really fun for live performances, a lot room over weekends and holidays. I think that of singing along and fun, dynamic crowds.” was really good for us.”

If previous performances are any indication, The availability of top-of-the-line equip- expect some soul-wrenching harmonies, quirky ment and a slew of new instruments have also sister banter and a powerful dose of Scandinachanged the group’s sound—a far cry from vian creativity. their early YouTube debut. In fact, the girls are now the ones being covered.

First Aid Kit play La Sala Rossa (4848 Saint“[YouTube] has been a really, really good Laurent Blvd.) on April 3. Tickets are $17 in thing for us,” says Johanna. “I guess you could advance or $20 at the door.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

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21

revIeW

If practice makes perfect, The Weeknd could use a little work Outrageously hyped Toronto musician fails to impress at Metropolis Leah Batstone Staff writer

T

he Weeknd is a newcomer in the R&B music industry; his debut mixtape House of Balloons recently celebrated its one-year anniversary. Hype surrounding the Toronto artist is almost unbelievable considering his lack of stage experience and radio play. Regardless, Montreal was pumped up and ready for his sold out show Friday night at Metropolis.

Abel Tesfaye is the real name of the man behind the mysterious digital albums, which are available for free on his website. He’s received praise from Pitchfork and Rolling Stone, and House of Balloons was nominated for a 2011 Polaris Music Prize. The Weeknd is known for his crooning soprano voice, which hits falsetto notes effortlessly. The real question was whether his live performance could live up to his studio material.

Approximately 2,000 people filled the venue. The doors opened at 6 p.m., but unfortunately for those standing, an average DJ mixed tracks until 9 p.m. The audience was sedated with boredom, yet still anticipated the show.

Once the DJ left the stage, the energy im-

mediately picked up. The lights dimmed, excited shrieks vibrated throughout the room, and cell phones flew into the air, preparing to document the 22-year-old’s first steps on the stage.

Opening with “High For This,” one of his better-known songs, was a wise choice.

Backed by a three-piece band, The Weeknd swayed and jumped around the stage in an attempt to win over the crowd. For an artist who has performed live very little, his effort to engage the audience was valiant, but lacked practice.

Another song that stood out in his performance was “The Zone.” His fans sang along passionately, watching black and white images of nearly naked women projected on a screen behind him.

For the song titled “Montreal,” The Weeknd aimed the mic at the audience, encouraging them to keep singing along.

His set list featured songs from all three of his mixtapes. His voice proved to be genuine, and not enhanced with studio effects.

But too often, he sang incomplete sentences or avoided the lyrics altogether. However, his effort at Michael Jackson-like dancing across the stage compensated for his vocals many times.

When the beat for “The Morning” started, the crowd went insane. He also sang “The Fall,” “House Of Balloons/Glass Table Girls,” and “Loft Music.” After his performance, which didn’t seem to last as long as

the weeKnd’S album coverS for hiS three album releaSeS and hiS Single “the birdS.” a typical concert, he came back out for an encore: an acoustic performance of “Wicked Games.”

The Weeknd will be back in Montreal for Osheaga in August, after a European tour and

performing at Coachella. Hopefully the young artist will develop a better stage presence between now and this summer and will return to Montreal with even more hysteria than before.

Hip hop has drastically evolved as a genre over the years. It rose to mainstream prominence during the 1990s, an era that many people consider hip hop’s golden age. Here is a list of the top 10 most important hip-hop releases of the 1990s, in no particular order.

as one of hip hop’s most important producers and paved the way for other, now legendary MCs, such as Snoop Dogg and Kurupt. The Doctor’s combination of funky bass lines and heavy synth revolutionized rap and created a staple sound for West coast hip hop.

Hip hop albums of the ‘90s Gabriel Fernandez Contributor

8. Wu-Tang Clan - Enter The Wu Tang (36 Chambers): No list would be complete without this album. 36 Chambers served as a launching pad for Wu-Tang’s members, many of whom went on to record platinum-selling solo albums. RZA’s unparalleled beat-making skills, mixed with standout performances from all of Wu-Tang’s nine rapping members, make this record a tour de force.

7. A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory: ATCQ are known for their jazzy hip-hop sounds. The Low End Theory provides listeners with mellow, progressive sounds and street-conscious lyricism. The album merged two forms of revolutionary black music and created a timeless record.

6. El-P 10. Outkast

- Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik: Outkast’s debut album put southern hip hop on the map. At the time, the American East and West coasts were the most prominent scenes for the genre, but rappers Andre 3000 and Big Boi let the world know that the south was not to be ignored. The dynamic duo mixed intricate rhyme schemes with a laid back ‘70s southern funk and gave birth to a classic.

9. Dr. Dre - The Chronic: Dr. Dre’s debut album, The Chronic, is a household name in hip hop. It established Dre

- Fantastic Damage: Brooklyn-born rapper and producer El-P redefined alternative hip hop with his debut album. Fantastic Damage is filled with esoteric lyrics over spacey, psychedelic beats. With song titles like “Dr. Hell No vs. the Praying Mantus,” El-P gained recognition as one of the first white rappers, and proved his worth on both the beats and microphone.

5. Nas - Illmatic: Considered by many as the “Hip-Hop Bible,” Nas produced in one album what most rappers try to achieve in a lifetime. The album includes production by legendary beat makers DJ Premier, Pete Rock and Large Pro-

fessor, lending every song a completely different feel. Nas’ masterful lyricism made his debut album a force to be reckoned with.

4. The Notorious B.I.G.

- Ready To Die: Regarded as one of the best to ever hold the microphone, Biggie Smalls’ debut album was an instant classic. His unique ability to merge comedy with serious, real-life experiences on the street made him a favourite among fans.

Standout tracks include “Juicy,” “Big Poppa” and “Who Shot Ya?”

3. Tupac Shakur - All Eyez on Me: Along with Biggie Smalls, Tupac is considered one of the most influential MCs of all time. His fourth studio album All Eyez on Me is thick with collaboration, but Tupac’s vicious, militant flow and lyricism stand out as usual. An absolute must have for any hip-hop head.

2. The Roots - Do You Want More?!!!??!: The Roots are one of the most diverse acts in hip hop. Rapper Black Thought demonstrates some of the most impeccable flows on this record. The use of live instruments from drummer Questlove and now former Roots bassist Leonard Hubbard produced a completely new hip-hop sound.

1. Rakim - The 18th Letter:

Back in ‘87, Eric B. & Rakim released Paid In Full. Rakim’s lyrical mastery set the standard for hip hop at the time, leading many critics and fans to crown Rakim as one of the best. When the duo broke up, Rakim released his first solo album The 18th Letter, which was a sprawling, brilliant comeback that affirmed his ability to hold the crown.

22

theconcordian

Tuesday, March 27, 2012 prOFILe

Saul Williams wants you to start dancing rays of light shine down on hip-hop veteran

Andrew Guilbert Staff writer

>>> Because Deamau5+1 sounDs stupiD

In a post on his Tumblr account, dance music artist Deadmau5 revealed he’s not too keen on collaborations with other artists, and that he has refused many requests from big artists in the past. “All too often, there’s an influx of ‘big names’ that would get thrown around the label from time to time and of course, they fly off the table and out the fuckin’ door faster than they hit my desk,” wrote Deadmau5. “Do you want to do a track with big name X, remix huge pop act Y, etc. etc. No. I fucking don’t. I really REALLY don’t.” He says his biggest problem with these artists is that, more often than not, the lyrics are too vapid for his taste and that he has no interest in songs that “have some fucking dipshit blab about lookin’ sexy, poppin’ bottles, ‘dropping bass,’ or ANYTHING club related.” The electronic music star did mention that his previous collaborations with bands like Cypress Hill and the Foo Fighters were “the results of stuff [I’m] totally into” and were not the target of his rant.

>>>Black keys sorry for shooting fish in a Barrel

Those of you with long memories may recall the tiff between The Black Keys and Nickelback that occurred a while back. For those who don’t, the Keys’ Patrick Carney trashed Nickelback saying that rock music was dying because “people became OK with Nickelback being the biggest band in the world, so they became OK with the idea that the biggest rock band in the world is always going to be shit.” Now he’s recanted his previous statement, sort of: “I didn’t mean to single them out,” the drummer said in an interview with MTV News Canada. “It just came out. There are much worse bands than Nickelback, maybe.”

>>> Don’t senD in the clowns

This year’s inductees to the rock and roll hall of fame include Guns N’ Roses, the Beastie Boys and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It does not, however, include KISS, and they’re not happy about the snub. “It’s become a joke,” said bassist Gene Simmons of the Hall of Fame. “We’ve been thinking about it and the answer is simply ‘We’ll just buy it and fire everybody’.” Simmons said the fact that Madonna and Blondie were inductees showed how far off the mark of ‘Rock and Roll’ the institution had gone. “They’re legitimate dance, disco artists. They don’t belong in rock and roll.” KISS have been eligible for induction since 1999.

>>> what will meg Do now?

Jack White has come out and said there is “absolutely no chance” that he will ever bring back The White Stripes. “I’m not the kind of person that would retire from baseball and come out of retirement the next year,” said White in an interview with NME magazine. “I mean, if we went to all the trouble of telling people we’re done, we meant it, you know?”

He says the only reason he could possibly foresee a reunion would be if he “went bankrupt or really needed the cash, which would be a really sad thing.”

SpoKenword and alternative hip-hop artiSt Saul williamS choSe la tulipe aS the laSt Stop on hiS north american tour. photo by myleS dolphin.

Myles Dolphin Opinions editor

S

Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust! was the album in which his message of change and empowerment was most evident, his latest release overflows with optimism and rebirth with song titles such as “New Day” and “Triumph.”

“I had nothing to prove on this album, it was just a matter of being myself,” he said.

He made a point of stopping between songs during his show to encourage the audience to dance, and pretend like we were alone in our bedrooms. The songs off Volcanic Sunlight resonate with the same appeal.

“The last album was a statement,” he said. “This is the sequel, in a way, to Niggy Tardust. He is a character who has evolved— it’s the idea of him coming through a door so everybody could see him. Now that he’s through, this is what he sounds like. It was a natural progression,” he said.

aul Williams appeared on stage at La Tulipe and spoke into the microphone with authority. After rifling off the names of 50 or so prominent musicians, activists and poets, he grabbed his makeshift drum and started wailing away with all his might.

With Bob Marley’s face brimming from his chest, Williams pounded the same eightnote sequence over and over: his three-piece band quickly joined suit and they eased into Volcanic Sunlight’s first high-tempo song, “Patience.”

With this raucous entrance, Williams had signalled his arrival. Most artists would be sapped of energy on the last night of a North American tour, but Williams clearly had something left in the tank and wanted to share it with his audience.

It was in stark contrast to the conversation I had with him last week where he sounded relaxed, almost zen-like, in preparation for that evening’s show in Salt Lake City.

The musician, poet, actor and activist from Newburgh, New York turned 40 last month; I took the opportunity to wish him a happy belated birthday, especially because mine’s a day after his.

“Actually I turned 10,” he said, reminding me that his birthdate, Feb. 29, only comes around every four years. “It’s The last album was a a great way of statement. This is the keeping me young at heart.” sequel, in a way to Niggy Williams’ Tardust. He is a character fourth album was released in who has evolved — it’s May last year. the idea of him coming The title and album cover, through a door so which shows everybody could see him. himoutstretched in front of a Now that he’s through, this glowing sun, is what he sounds like. signify a new beginning.

If - Saul Williams The Inevitable

“

His influences resonate in both his lyrics and sound.

You’ll hear the social consciousness of Public Enemy and Ru n - D . M . C . , the jazz-rap of De La Soul and the rhythm and beats of African music.

Williams’ talents as poet and mu sician have never been

more evident than on Volcanic Sunlight. The hip-hop/rock interchange combined with poetry that examines religion, spirituality and the existential puts him in a category of his own, far away from the superficial candy-pop you can easily find on today’s most popular radio stations.

When Williams’ show neared its end, he approached a woman on the side of the stage and spoke to her for a minute. He re-emerged with a familiar red square pinned to his shirt, the emblem of the student fight against the rise in tuition fees in Quebec. The fact that it appeared next to Bob Marley’s face didn’t go unnoticed and the audience let out a powerful roar when they saw it.

“It’s important to fight for what you believe in,” he said. “I commend you for that.”

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Follow us on Twitter: @TheConcordian

23

MIxTApe

if you’ve never been to oSheaga, you don’t Know what you’re miSSing. Heat, dehydration, screaming crowds, exhaustion and, most notably, a lineup of more than fifty amazing musicians playing at Jean-Drapeau Park for three long days. Despite the less-than-stellar conditions, Osheaga is the most anticipated summer event for any music-savvy Montrealer. This year between Aug. 3 to 5, twenty talented artists—along with many more—will flood our city and play for tens of thousands of people. With big names like Snoop Dogg, Feist, Florence and the Machine and Brand New, Osheaga is bound to be the best three days of your life. Festival passes are now on sale. Let this mixtape be your precursor to Montreal’s most anticipated summer weekend of 2012.

Osheaga 2012: Festival preview Compiled by Christine Beaton Contributor

SIDE A: Homegrown, Canadiana

SIDE B: Come from afar

1. “Help, I’m Alive” - Metric - Fantasies 2. “My Moon My Man” - Feist - The Reminder 3. “Grind” - Down With Webster Time to Win, Vol. 1 4. “We Found Each Other in the Dark” - City and Colour - Little Hell 5. “A Song About California” - Hey Ocean! - It’s Easier to be Someone Else 6. “I Don’t Know” - The Sheepdogs Learn & Burn 7. “Tom Cruz” - Plants and Animals La La Land 8. “Cover Your Tracks” - Young Galaxy - Shapeshifting 9. “Journey of a Lifetime” - Zeds Dead - Single 10. “High for This” - The Weeknd House of Balloons

11. “Mind Eraser” - The Black Keys - El Camino 12. “Drop it Like it’s Hot” - Snoop Dogg R&G : The Masterpiece 13. “Howl” - Florence and the Machine - Lungs 14. “Kissing the Lipless” - The Shins Chutes Too Narrow 15. “Electric Feel” - MGMT - Oracular Spectacular 16. “Helicopter” - Bloc Party - Little Thoughts (EP) 17. “Cough Syrup” - Young the Giant Young the Giant 18. “The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows” - Brand New - Deja Entendu 19. “Jacqueline” - Franz Ferdinand Franz Ferdinand 20. “Only Happy When it Rains” - Garbage - Garbage

Quick spins

Retro review

The Shins - Port of Morrow (Columbia/Aural Apothecary; 2012)

The Ting Tings - Sounds from Nowheresville (Columbia; 2012)

The Decemberists - We All Raise Our Voices to the Air (Live Songs 04.1108.11) (Capitol; 2012)

Art Blakey and The Jazz Messengers - Moanin’ (Blue Note; 1958)

Frontman James Mercer, now an astonishing 41 years of age, has finally returned from a four-yearlong hiatus during which he collaborated with Brian Burton in their tag-team project Broken Bells.

Then, with much anticipation, Mercer released Port of Morrow’s first single, “Simple Song” and its B-side “September,” on Record Store Day. Fans knew immediately that the wait was worth it. The video for “September” featured the song’s lyrics scrolling whimsically across inanimate objects, remaining true to Mercer’s indie mastery. Fusing bossa nova rhythms, unidentifiable white noise, quivering guitar and a simple complexity, with quite possibly the most poetically romantic lyrics that have ever crossed Mercer’s lips, the B-side outshone its A-side. Featuring both new and old cast members, the entire album has got to be one of the best of 2012.

UK duo The Ting Tings planned on releasing their second album in 2010, but scrapped most of their songs because they sounded like “everything else on the radio.” Two years later, they’ve released Sounds from Nowheresville, and despite comprising of only 10 songs—a total track time of less than 35 minutes—the album should satisfy fans who enjoyed their previous effort We Started Nothing (2008). The band says they took influence from Berlin’s electro-scene, which is obvious on songs like “Hands” and “One By One,” the former only appearing on the album’s deluxe edition. Vocalist Katie White shows her softer side on the song “Day to Day,” which brings a welcomed change from her usual in-your-face punchy singing style.

Unfortunately, the album’s final three songs are its weakest, and leave us feeling very underwhelmed—too bad for an otherwise great album.

Indie-folk stars The Decemberists have released their live album We All Raise Our Voices to the Air (Live Songs 04.11–08.11), available as a double-album or triple-vinyl set. Lead singer and songwriter Colin Meloy and his merry bandmates take listeners through hits such as “This is Why We Fight,” “The Bagman’s Gambit,” “Oceanside,” and “The Mariner’s Revenge Song,” recorded during their 2011 North American tour. What seems to lack the most on the album is something different. Usually, live albums, like concerts themselves, are supposed to add an extra dimension of awe-inspiring musicianship. Instead, the Portland, Ore. band seem to simply play their songs, and while they are not played poorly, they leave listeners wanting more. Nevertheless, the collection of fiddle, guitar, vocals and other instruments is sure to entertain.

Listen up, cool cats! Recorded in 1958, Moanin’ is an impeccable hard-bop classic by the legendary Art Blakey and The Jazz Messengers. This essential piece of musical history is easily one of Blakey’s most accessible and widely adored records, partly due to its fresh and melodic sound, and its all-star lineup. The sensational Lee Morgan delivers some stunning trumpet solos. Benny Golson not only plays a mean tenor saxophone, but is also responsible for composing the majority of the songs on this album. Bobby Timmons and Jymie Merritt keep the rhythm in check on the piano and bass, but who can ignore Art Blakey and his insane mastery of the drums (in my opinion, one of the greatest drummers of all time)? Moanin’ is the perfect introduction to anyone who has an interest in jazz music. This sophisticated, modern jazz record with a bluesy influence is essential to any music lover’s collection.

Trial track: “Port of Morrow”

Trial track: “Give It Back”

Trial track: “Down by the Water”

Trial track: “Moanin”

9.5/10

- Allie Mason

8.5/10

- Natasha Taggart

7.8/10

- Andre-Joseph Cordeiro

- Paul Traunero

sports

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Write to the editor: sports@theconcordian.com

opinions

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

25

Write to the editor: opinions@theconcordian.com ediTorial

You did good, CSU

Student union proved to be a powerful leader in last Thursday’s march

T

he Concordia Student Union has taken a lot of heat recently, and rightly so. They failed to properly promote two general assemblies to vote on a strike and their recent elections were an utter disaster with a seriously low voter turnout.

Nonetheless, it’s important to give credit where credit is due. The CSU proved to be a fine leader last Thursday during the massive protest against tuition hikes, when over 200,000 people, many of them students, took to the streets to tell the Charest government to take their planned increases and shove it.

Early Thursday morning, hundreds crowded around the Hall building, where they designed protest signs and discussed their strategies for the day. By noon, over 500 students were heading down to the march’s main meeting point, being lead by CSU

President Lex Gill and vice-president external Chad Walcott.

Considering the controversy that has surrounded the CSU in recent weeks and the criticism the executive has faced with regards to a lack of organization, it was pleasing to see the CSU hype up the crowds and lead the massive march for the better part of the three-hour event.

The fact that it was the CSU, the student union of an English Quebec university, playing such a pivotal role in the demonstration sent a strong message, one that said that anglophone students in this province -- at least a large part of them -- have no intention of being left out of this fierce battle against tuition hikes. While francophone student associations continue to receive most of the praise for their efforts in mobilizing students and keeping the movement alive, the CSU showed us last Thursday that anglophone post-secondary institutions can be just as feisty in this fight with the Charest Liberals.

The demonstration as a whole was a huge success. While it may not have suc-

ceeded in swaying the government’s position on tuition, it proved how serious students and their supporters are when it comes to accessible education. The fact that so many people poured into the streets to take part in one of the largest demonstrations in Quebec’s history is very telling of the public mood in this province.

Education Minister Line Beauchamp may do her best to sleep at night by telling herself that the march was simply comprised of “the usual players,” but what the minister has failed to realize -- among other things -- is that it wasn’t just students or big unions out in the streets on March 22; there were countless parents, grandparents and students from other provinces (Ontario, notably) marching that day as well.

Solidarity between people of different generations and of different backgrounds has not been this evident in Quebec for many years. So it’s important to not let the power of solidarity diminish. The CSU may have taken another hit this past Monday with its failed general assembly -- only about 300 students

“

The CSu showed us last Thursday that anglophone post-secondary institutions can be just as feisty in this fight with the Charest liberals.

showed up -- but this in no way means that the student movement at Concordia is slowly fading away.

The CSU must harness the frustration and anger Concordia students are expressing with regards to tuition increases and the administration’s mismanagement of public funds. Mobilizing students on a large scale is still very much a possibility. The CSU proved to be a powerful leader last Thursday; there’s no reason to believe they can’t do it again.

CoMMuniCaTion

The lost art of showing gratitude Writing thank-you notes is proper etiquette, even in our digital world Jane Caulfield The Watch HALIFAX (CUP) — I have vivid memories of my mother making very detailed lists on Christmas morning of who got what from whom. She would then pass the lists out to my sister and I with a cheery, “Remember to write your thank-you cards as soon as possible!”

But much to my mother’s chagrin, we never managed to write a single thank-you note. We would think about it, maybe even start one, but never follow it through to completion.

Recently, I received a bursary. Having gone through this process before, I know proper etiquette rules state that I should respond promptly with a short but well thought-out thank-you note. When I inquired at the financial aid office about what address to send the note to, I was met with some surprised looks.

What happened to the fine art of writing thank-you notes? I know they still sell thankyou cards in the greeting card aisle, but when was the last time anyone bought one and actually used it for its intended purpose?

Up until the 1960s, etiquette was a required subject taught in most schools across North America and Britain. These classes would teach children, in both elementary and high school levels of study, how to properly kneel at the altar, which fork was for what and how to write proper letters. Children learned that the timing of a thank-you note was the difference between merely following etiquette rules and having a high degree of class.

But our society just isn’t that formal

Handwritten notes go a long way in tHe days of email and twitter. PHoto courtesy of lindsay.dee.bunny via flickr creative commons

anymore.

Social graces today reflect our digital identities. There are, for example, unwritten social rules about when it is and when is not appropriate to friend someone on Facebook.

But when it comes to formally saying thank you, very few people know the rules about when or how to say it.

According to etiquette specialists, a thank-you note is absolutely required for the

following major life events: bridal shower or baby shower gifts; holiday, birthday, Bar/ Bat mitzvah, graduation and housewarming gifts; and sympathy letters, flowers, mass cards or donations made in the deceased’s name.

A formal thank-you note should not be 140 characters or less, and should be done by hand. Letters in your own handwriting are personal; they show you are genuinely

grateful for something. Online communication lacks a human quality, even if you use every emoticon you can find. When you are really thankful, an email or (God forbid) a tweet just won’t cut it.

I dare you to sit down and write a thankyou card to someone who has recently done or said something that meant a lot to you.

Take the time to pick up a pen, dig out some stationery and pay for the postage stamp.

26

theconcordian

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

JournaliSM

Before jumping to conclusions, let’s find out all the facts Journalist can’t be heralded as victim just yet Myles dolphin opinions editor

Equipped with a search warrant, the Sûreté du Québec raided the home of Journal de Montréal journalist Eric Yvan Lemay on March 15.

They wanted access to his computer, some clothes and presumably his fingerprints.

Lemay has not been charged, but the Journal de Montréal indicated in a Huffington Post article that he is suspected of theft under $5,000 and trafficking of confidential documents.

Lemay is an investigative reporter who exposed how easy it can be to gain access to private patient files at hospitals in and around Montreal. In one instance, he found files in a hospital corridor and videotaped himself leafing through them. The Journal de Montréal then published excerpts of those documents, with the patient names blacked out. They defended their actions by claiming it was in the public’s interest to know how readily available their confidential information was. The newspaper also said that Lemay never stole any documents.

As soon as news of the raid broke, the Canadian Association of Journalists, the Fédération professionnelle des journalistes du Québec and many media outlets publicly denounced the purported intimidation tactics carried out by the SQ. “The SQ seeks to uncover, frighten and dry up the sources of investigative journalists that it wouldn’t otherwise look into,” said FPJQ President Brian Myles in a statement on the federation’s website.

But hold on a second. Before we go and accuse the SQ of intimidation, or claim that they “shot the messenger,” we need all the facts.

Under normal circumstances, this Sovietstyle, draconian intrusion would easily constitute a breach of freedom of press. It would seem as though Lemay was just doing his job, reporting on what may very well be a distinct flaw in the health care system and bringing information to the public about a gross oversight hospitals have been avoiding.

However, two days after Lemay’s home was raided, Le Devoir published an article stating that three separate sources had confirmed that video surveillance footage existed showing Lemay going into an operating room and an office and exiting with documents.

I don’t have a stance on whether Lemay is

Graphic by Phil Waheed

a victim or whether he broke the law or not, but I do know that it’s important to wait until all the evidence has been presented before passing judgement, including this mysterious footage that has yet to surface. The SQ also needs to go into greater detail and explain why there were grounds to put Lemay and his wife under surveillance for seven days between Feb. 25 and March 12.

Hugo Rodrigues, president of the Canadian Association of Journalists, agrees.

“The SQ said they had a valid reason to put Lemay under surveillance but we need disclosure,” he said. “If there’s footage of him at the hospital breaking into an office, fine, release it but give him the same opportunity to defend himself as you would give anyone else who is under suspicion.”

Rodrigues and the CAJ want the public to know that we’re missing the point amid this

mediatic circus.

“Lemay was doing his job by bringing to light information that was in the public’s interest,” he explained. “Our focus is being misdirected. Is there credible information to suggest a law has been broken and that there was criminal intent? In the lack of that, we’ll take the Journal de Montréal at its word.”

It’s important to hold governments accountable for their actions and investigative reporters here in Quebec such as Lemay had a duty to bring these actions to light. We have one of the worst health care systems in Canada and our hospitals are rife with inadequacies. But, until we know absolutely everything there is to know about Lemay’s case, it’s unwise to sit on one side of the fence.

Aaron Derfel, journalism professor at Concordia University and medical reporter at The Gazette, also believes this case isn’t as black

and white as we may think.

“This isn’t a clear cut case where it’s been proven beyond any doubt that the police overstepped their bounds,” he said. “They do what they have to do. If they receive a complaint, they have to look into it. But I’m still troubled when the SQ can obtain a search warrant to enter the house of a fellow journalist.”

Whenever journalists carry out these practices—they investigate, they expose— they run the risk of experiencing what Lemay has. There are a lot of excellent investigative reporters who do their work accurately and take great lengths to stay within the boundaries of the law. It’s important to have a strong press and not let these laxes of security slip, Derfel said.

“I would normally support my colleagues but we still need to know more information,” he said.

What did you think of this paper?

Send us your letters to editor@theconcordian.com before Friday at 4 p.m. The Concordian reserves the right to edit your letters for length, clarity, taste and style. letters are limited to 400 words.

The Etcetera Page Drink of the week

Tuesday, March 27, 2012 Vol. 29 issue 26

The Terminator

Jacques Gallant Editor-in-Chief editor@theconcordian.com

This is for very special occasions and must only be drunk in the confines of an extremely safe environment. In fact, I would only recommend this on those nights (or mornings) when life just gets too real and you need to escape—quickly.

So The Hunger Games opened last weekend and broke all these records. I haven’t read the novel and I have no idea what the plot is, but I’ve heard that it rips off Battle Royale, one of the greatest Japanese movies of all time. So I’m really on the fence here: Should I actually make an attempt to see the movie before I start criticizing it? Yeah, maybe. But time is money, and I’m not getting paid to watch anything that rips off a classic movie, so that’s my conundrum.

Ingredients: - 1 oz. Absinthe - 4 oz. 7 Up - ½ oz. Korean rice wine - ½ oz. Champagne

Chris Hanna Production manager production@theconcordian.com

Joel Ashak Marilla Steuter-Martin

Mix these ingredients together and get ready to lose all feeling in your extremities.

Co-news editors news@theconcordian.com

Paula Rivas Life editor

Shaimaa El-Ghazaly

- Myles Dolphin

Assistant life editor life@theconcordian.com

Sofia Gay Arts editor

Amanda L. Shore Assistant arts editor arts@theconcordian.com

@AlbertBrooks Hunger Games made

Allie Mason

150 mil. Wasn’t able to see it but still drove by boxoffice and threw out 12 dollars.

Music editor

Elizabeth Mackay Assistant music editor music@theconcordian.com

@StevenAmiri The Hunger Games was

Julian Mei

amazing because it was the only time I have seen teenagers go two hours without texting.

Sports editor

Alex Giubelli

Assistant sports editor sports@theconcordian.com

@bretterlich In The Hunger Games a bunch

of kids fight to the death. It’s how I wish Twilight was, except for the “someone survives” part.

Myles Dolphin Opinions editor

George Menexis

Assistant opinions editor opinions@theconcordian.com

@ZeitchikLAT Hunger Games collects 155

million, a figure only slightly lower than the number of times that annoying guy told u it rips off Battle Royale.

Navneet Pall Photo editor photo@theconcordian.com

Katie Brioux Graphics editor graphics@theconcordian.com

@GeorgeTakei The Hunger Games opens

to eye-popping numbers. Finally, a girl fighting for her life & justice, not whining over her sparkly vamp boyfriend.

Marissa Miller Heather Rimington Elizabeth Tomaras Copy editors copy@theconcordian.com

Jennifer Barkun Sophia Loffreda Kerry MacKinnon

This week’s impossible crossword puzzle

Production assistants

Editorial Office 7141 Sherbrooke St. W. - CC.431 Montreal, QC H4B 1R6 514.848.2424 x7499 (Editor-in-Chief)

Across 1- And so on; 4- Falafel sauce; 10- Annoyance; 14- At a great distance; 15- Humbles; 16- Architectural pier; 17- Law enforcement agency; 18- Divided into four parts; 20- “Slippery” tree; 21- Goya’s “The Duchess of _ “; 22- Slow growth; 23- Actor Romero; 25- Author of fables; 28- Vane dir.; 29- New Mexico art colony; 30- Bay; 31- Breezed through; 32- Absolute; 35- Baseball stat; 36- Howe’er; 37- Pertaining to a congress; 44- Immense; 45- Roman god of the underworld; 46- Primordial giant in Norse myth; 48- Classified items; 49- Holder; 50- Appliance brand; 51Film composer Stevens; 53- Career golfers; 55- Court call; 56- Incapable; 59- Moo goo _ pan; 60- Arthur Ashe’s alma mater; 61Think; 62- From _ Z; 63- Bump into; 64- Living room; 65- Adult males;

514.848.2424 x7458 (Newsroom) 514.848.2424 x7404 (Production)

Melissa Kate Gagnon Business manager Interim advertising manager business@theconcordian.com

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Business and Advertising 1455 de Maisonneuve W. - H.733-4 Montreal, QC H3G 1M8 514.848.2424 x7420 (Office)

Down 1- Result; 2- Picture; 3- Incarnadine; 4Golden Horde member; 5- Biblical brother; 6- Ribbon about the crown of a hat; 7- Sharon, e.g.; 8- PBS benefactor; 9- Belief system; 10- Constituent; 11- Proclaim; 12- Rendered senseless; 13- Sampled; 19- Uncommon

Kamila Hinkson Managing editor managing@theconcordian.com

sense; 24- Climb; 26- A collection of articles; 27- Inflammation of the ear; 30- Lined up; 31- Assumed name; 33- Assn.; 34- Cry of discovery; 37- Rhythmic flow of sounds; 38- Small bone; 39- Directional ending; 40-

King’s staff; 41- Fantastic; 42- Dental filling; 43- Striped; 44- Brand of diazepam; 47- Allotted amount; 49- Resistance unit; 50- Fall bloomer; 52- Exactly; 54- Aware of; 57- Lulu; 58- Writer LeShan;

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