For as long as I could remember, I have always
Gabrielle Woodard has experienced this power
own. While some popular culture promotes
been told by men that I was “too much,” or that
struggle first-hand. She and a male friend went
this mindset, like recent Disney-Pixar movies
they needed to get their lives together before
to Washington D.C., where they spoke to pro-
“Brave” and “Tangled,” some men still don’t
they could date me. Men have always been
fessionals about their career aspirations. While
share Bianco’s thinking.
intimidated by the fact that I know exactly
speaking to a male professional, she asked
what I want and how I’m going to get it. Guys
all the questions while her friend was silent.
I’ve been romantically involved with have always
Despite Woodard speaking directly to the
had an issue with my mindset.
man, the professional didn’t look at her.
A damsel in distress, to me, is a woman who needs to be saved or fixed by a man because she does not think she has the ability to save herself from the hardships of life. The “damsel” portrayal has appeared in romantic comedies, romance novels and some television sitcoms for decades. The movie “Friends with Benefits” is an accurate depiction
of
this.
Jamie,
the
female
protagonist is emotionally damaged, waiting to be swept off her feet. After being hurt time and time again, the male protagonist, Dylan, plays the role of her prince charming, saving her from all the bad guys who failed to provide her with the love she needed. Classic fairy tales portray princesses as needy, waiting to be rescued from evil stepmothers and villains. In real life, men don’t storm the scene with their valiant steeds, saving women from perilous situations. Women shouldn’t be
“IF I WERE TO DUMB MYSELF DOWN LIKE THAT, IT NEGATES EVERYTHING THAT I’VE WORKED SO HARD TO GET”
“Personally, I don’t think [women] have to act less powerful to be seen as attractive,” Bianco says. Many times men might feel they are holding back a strong, independent woman from her full potential, so they break off the relationship. In my own life, I have had relationships end because the guy feared he was holding me back, regardless if I disagreed. “All of a sudden they break it off because they don’t want to hold me back, but I never thought that they were holding me back,” Woodard says. Unfortunately, some women feel they need to limit their accomplishments in order to stay in relationships. This includes girls pretending to be less intelligent in conversations and refraining from more advanced academic programs in fear of seeming “bossy” or “intimidating.” “If I were to dumb myself down like that,
it
negates
everything
that
I’ve
worked so hard to get,” Woodard says.
—GABRIELLE WOODARD
All of the opportunities and experiences “It was almost like I had made him uncom-
Woodard has had should not be diluted because
fortable,” Woodard says.
she wants to appear more attractive to men.
Men and women also carry these stereotypes
On the other hand, not all men find indepen-
We live in a society that allows for more gender
into the workplace and friendships.
dent women intimidating or emasculating. Matt
equality. We should be able to go through
Bianco, a junior managerial marketing major
life and relationships without the idea some
and the president of his fraternity on campus,
drastic change will make us seem desirable or
says he prefers having a high-power woman in
attractive. Women have to be their own prince
his life as opposed to someone who is needy.
charming because it is no one else’s job to save
expected to wait for men, and men shouldn’t be expected to wait on a woman’s every need.
If a man has more traditional views on gender roles and relationships and a woman does not, then there could be confrontation due to the differing views. This creates a power struggle for women when dealing with men because of
“I’d rather have somebody who is able to pro-
these more traditional views on gender.
vide for themselves,” Bianco says. “I don’t think
“Relationships are more successful—when we’re talking about heterosexual relation-
I’d want somebody who is in a relationship because they need to be.”
ships—if the two people in that relationship
Bianco describes an independent woman as
have similar views on gender,” says communi-
someone who does what she wants, doesn’t
cation studies professor Suzy D’Enbeau.
need constant approval and can stand on her
FALL 2015
them. There is no need for women to change themselves for men or feel as though they are in need of being saved or fixed by a man. “Why would you change yourself for someone that’s temporary?” Woodard says. B Managing editor Heather Inglis contributed to this story.
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