The Baseline Volume 4 Issue 2

The Baseline

Letter From the Editor This issue is something I’m very proud of; being a first time Editor-in-Chief, I needed to make this issue memorable. Memorable for myself, my contributors and my readers.

It is a collective of works that were made by and made for young adults. I wanted this issue to represent the culture of the society we live in now. I believe we are in very progressive times, whether that be political, cultural, in arts or in science. As young adults we are demanding and creating a change for ourselves and in that we are making names for ourselves and writing our

own history. These writers, interviewees, and photographers are the some of the people I see making changes right in front of me. I hope this staff, myself and this magazine can encourage another to create in whatever form necessary.

Sincerely, Ayannah Dimas Editor-in-Chief

The Baseline Magazine about what’s on our minds Fall 2018 Michelle Dowd, Baseline Advisor Neil Watkins, Journalism Coordinator Editor-in-Chief, Ayannah Dimas Managing Editor, Kris Tashjian Cover (Front) Katie Priest (Back) Katie Priest

Content chosen for The Baseline Magazine is the sole responsibility of the students in our programs and should not be interpreted as opinions or positions of the Chaffey College District, The College or any officer or employee thereof.

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CONTENTS

Table of Contents pg 5,6 Directed by: An Interview with Justin La Turno by Ayannah Dimas pg 7,8,9 Power of the Press by Brody Salazar pg 10,11 Art in it’s Various Forms: An Interview with Adriana Lara by Ciara De Alba pg 12,13 Generation Nudes by Sydney Vargas pg 14,15 Sports Spotlight: Mason Vega Artis Seymore, Caleb Arreola by Sid Suarez pg 16,17

Prayers Breaking Boundries by Austin Smedly; Photos: Jesus Magdaleno pg 32, 33 Lady Business by Amanda Armoush pg 34, 35, 36, 37 “Fake It Till You Make It:” A Look Inside Conversion Therapy by Ciara De Alba pg 38, 39 Camp Flog Gnaw by Ayannah Dimas; Photos by Josh Gutierez pg 40,41,42,43 Mac Miller by Cesar Saldana pg 44, 45, 46

Anxiety Among the Church by Amalia Escobedo pg 18,19 I Used to Wonder if I was Crazy by Michele Macias pg 20,21, 22 Fandoms by John Argote pg 23 The Baseline Playlist of 2018 by Ayannah Dimas pg 24,25 Honorable Mention by Ayannah Dimas pg 26 The Love of Kenya by Emma Donnelly pg 27, 28, 29 EXIT America: What We Fail to Understand About Coming Here by Paris Barraza pg 30, 31

DIRECTED BY:

A INTERVIEW WITH JUSTIN LA TURNO

5,

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by

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Story by Ayannah Dimas @yaaaannah

9-year-old film student Justin La Turno is creating a name for himself and growing faster than some can see. La Turno is a film student at Chaffey College who has over time created a series of short films using his friends for a cast and music videos for underground bands.

Justin is visibly comfortable being interview and recorded. Before starting the interview, he receives a call from a mutual friend, inviting over to sit with us. We begin the conversation talking about our journeys in school and the routes our creative journeys will take us. La Turno expresses how much he likes to broaden his choices of which artistic routes he can take. He explains that he started by creating photographs but loves to draw and even tried taking music lessons when he was younger.

DIMAS: What content did you start creating?

LA TURNO: I think like if I want to bring it back all the way back to like my childhood. I was in 6th grade when my mom had a camcorder and

I would play with it and a lot of kids I realized did this. They would play with their Legos or their action figures. I had Legos and I would like make little clips of them talking and shit like that. It was just fun. Her camcorder was basically my camcorder. I was just running around with it and filming when the family was over. It was until I want to say like freshman year (high school) for sure I took a photography class and that’s when I got exposed to just the basic fundamentals.

Then I want to say my junior year is when I took video production at Upland and I think I just took off from there really.

DIMAS: What about that class made you prefer films? Do you prefer making films over photography?

LA TURNO: I think yeah, I prefer videos and film over photography because I like scenes. I’d rather watch scenes play out than look at a moment.

You can catch a beautiful moment in photography, there are so many beauti-

Photo by Andrew Rice ful photos out there, but you can read a lot more in a scene, because that’s what film and video is anyway. A series of photos anyway, playing in chronological order. So you can read the energy a lot better and experience it a lot better as you view it. That’s why I love filming shows because when I started doing it I didn’t really know how to do it I didn’t really have my style developed but I think one thing that stuck is when I’m filming I wanted to make it feel like whoever’s watching it like they’re there.

So I don’t try and stay too far away, I’m right in the middle of it.

DIMAS: What type of shows did you start filming?

LA TURNO: So like a year ago 2017 I bought my first DSLR that could record full HD video off my friend and prior to that I wasn’t really making anything that was outside of school. So just looking around at the independent music scene here in the I.E. I see people who would try to make videos.

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events because those are just spontaneous things. You can’t stage that. Watching a kid get kicked in the back of the head by someone who’s crowd surfing you can’t stage that but I can capture it.

“I want to out do myself, that’s the one person I’m constantly competing with, the one person I’m always trying to be better than me from yesterday” DIMAS: When you make your films are you doing everything from beginning to end?

Photo by Matt Taylor

my friend and prior to that I wasn’t really making anything that was outside of school. So just looking around at the independent music scene here in the I.E. I see people who would try to make videos.

Some of it inspired me and some of it made me think like fuck what am I doing just sitting around? I know that I could contribute to this or I could make a mark in it. So I got my first camera and then I want to say middle of July my friend was in a band and he was throwing a show and so I thought it was a good opportunity to take my camera out there and just go film it. Its on my YouTube channel one of my first videos “Loose Ends” and I look back at that video and I just cringe.

LA TURNO: All of the Vertigo Volumes videos that I do are all me basically, visually. Of course my friends from Vertigo Volumes that run it, Nick Ayala, Palmer Gamble, they get the shows together and they all decorate the venues and the sets how they want to be. All I have to worry about is going there and pointing the camera at everything and its all me really. I film it and edit, aside from one video I sent to Nick to edit, it was an interview we did with one of the bands.

Most of the video I do is all me. As someone who’s a cinematographer as someone who is so used to filming their own things you get picky with your style and your eye.

So finding someone else who has a similar vision to you, it takes a while. You have to really trust that person.

“I didn’t want to put anything out unless I thought it was better than the last thing I did before, and the improvement just kept going”

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LA TURNO: coming of age has always been a genre that really just grabbed me, and it does that for a lot of young people. I think that’s something I would…. I would kind of want those stories to age with me. Yeah I want to do a film based on a young adult’s life or like in high school. With control is wasn’t set in high school it was in college. It was a young adult trying to balance their life.

That’s the kind of stories I want to do, stuff that resonates with people by age and people who grow into that age will experience. People who were that age that will reflect. I do want to do Sci-Fi though, that’s something else entirely.

DIMAS: Tell me about your short film Control.

LA TURNO: When I made “Control” my short film I made recently it was fun doing that. I came up with the idea at work. I thought of a theme first. I can picture ideas in my head, I want something to do with school I want something to do with relationships. I thought visualizing things wont help me but I need to know what I would want to make films about.

The statement that came to my head was “doing something over and over again until you finally get things right.” The thing that came to my head that I immediately associated that with was filmmaking, also skating. My friend Adam he skates and I asked him “hey what do you think of that idea?”

He said “oh that’s cool, what do you want to do with it” I told him I might want to make a little short. So that day I outlines the whole story then I went to my friends

DIMAS: Do you prefer making short films or filming shows?

LA TURNO: I would want to combine the two of them. I love the process it takes to actually make a film because so much goes into it like preproduction. 95% of it is basically preproduction, planning for it. Then actually doing it and finishing it up and posting it.

That whole process, every step of the way, I love that because I feel like I’m a very meticulous person in general, that’s probably the Capricorn in me. I love filming shows and everything like that and

DIMAS: What type of content would you like to create?

Photo by Andrew Rice

Photo by Hector Vergara

ring to Cal State LA to get the bachelors all, all while making connections along the way.

DIMAS: What do you think some of your faults are?

LA TURNO: I have a struggle with balancing close relationships. People I love and what I love doing. I kind of let what I love doing get in the way of paying attention to the people I love. I kind of miss the little things.

DIMAS: Do you have any advice for any young creative?

Seb to help authenticate it. The day after that I wrote the first draft of the script which was six pages. After sending it out to a few friends to review it by the third day I had the final draft which was the fourth.

Matt finally arrives and is met with a high-five and the following intro from Justin himself: “This is Matt Whiteside, assistant director of Control, say hi.”

“Hello” Justin is telling us about Damien Chazelle the youngest to receive the academy award for Best Director at age 31. Damien has been a sort of competition for Justin. His goal is to beat Damien and receive an academy award for Best Director at the age of 30.

DIMAS: That is actually another question I have for you, what are some of your goals in the film industry?

LA TURNO: That’s my end all, be all dream goal. As a consistent goal, is definitely to be a competent director.

To have a steady filmography of movies under my belt.

DIMAS: How would you rate your success as of now, in your own eyes?

LA TURNO: I think in the course of a year and 4 months of actually putting out content for me being 19-20 right now, I’ve definitely established an audience I feel. I think if I juts continue at the rate of wanting to make things better as I go, I think the audience is only going to grow. I have to thank Vertigo Volumes for that because last December is when Nick and I got in contact with one another over Instagram. He asked me if I wanted to film for them and be on their team. I was like “hell yeah!” this year with them has boosted my confidence so much. When was at shows filming, I was just a shy kid with a camera. I would get in peoples faces and film them but I would be too afraid to talk to them and get to know them but now I can do that.

From the side Matt decides to interject, “Justin’s just going to keep being modest. He’s like ‘yeah I’m attributing all my success to Vertigo Volumes, I couldn’t have done it without them, the scene community.’ Let me say Justin is one of the hardest working people I know who wants to get into this industry. A lot of his success is because he’s very mmgood at what he does. I just wanted to put that out there.”

DIMAS: Besides your goal of winning an academy award before 31 what is another milestone of success for you?

LA TURNO: I think one that I caIm almost done this is my last semester with film classes. I do plan on transfer-

LA TURNO: Don’t get discouraged if you don’t know how to do something.

It isn’t because you’re dumb, it just because you weren’t taught. In terms of what you want to do creatively you don’t need to rely solely on school to get that experience or to get that knowledge.

There’s so many different resources out there that can teach you. Like YouTube!

You can learn anything. Have a firm routine give yourself time to be creative.

You can find the time.

DIMAS: Do you have a back up plan?

LA TURNO: NO. I don’t have a plan b, because if you have a plan b or a back up that just means you’re expecting your plan a to fail. There’s only one direction I’m headed.

Photo by Justin La Turno

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Art in Its Various Forms: An Interview With Adrianna Lara

pieces are finished works of Adrianna’s collection, along with the paintings.

Adrianna moves her lengthy ombre locks to the side as she takes a seat on a black leather chair in front of her work table.

Her ensemble consists of a black, form-fitting tank top and matching bottoms. A pink measuring tape drapes over her shoulders and the finishing touch is a subtle smile on her face. Thus, signaling the start of the interview.

Ciara De Alba: Tell me where your journey with these various forms of art began.

Adrianna Lara: Drawing. I started off drawing, because I was a nerd. That’s what I did at lunch, because I had no friends.

CD: At what age was that?

AL: When I was about six years old, and I never stopped drawing since.

Ciara De Alba

A

@ciara_mist97

drianna Lara answers a few questions in regards to her journey of pursuing fashion, photography, physical and graphic arts.

In the middle of Rancho Cucamonga and Upland, resides 21-year-old artist, Adrianna Lara. After stepping into her home, Adrianna walks down a small hallway and opens a door, presumably to her room. The first noticeable character of her room is the great amount of different colors everywhere.

A faint violet shade covers her walls, whilst pale gold curtains cascade from ceiling to floor on another wall across the door. Sunlight peaks through the curtains, reflecting light off of a rich metallic gold fabric piled atop a rainbow mountain of fabric on her work table. Two sewing machines and various rolls of thread occupy the rest of the table top space. Above the work table, in the corner displays, some of her colorful vibrant paintings, next to framed photographs of John Lennon.

On the next wall to the right hangs a bright, shining red long-sleeved body suit with red fluffy material bordering each edge of the sleeves. Below the eye-catching body suit stands a mannequin clothed in a dazzling metallic pink two-piece dress.

Both of these equally striking fashion

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CD: Was drawing what you focused on for awhile?

AL: I began picking up other things while I was doing it. A couple years later, I started painting... And- do you remember when MySpace was big?

CD: Yes I do.

AL: Well I used to attempt to do coding to try to build my own graphics to make it look cool. Obviously, I sucked, but that is what got me into computer arts.

Then I acquired an interest in photography, so I would buy those little film disposable cameras and take many pictures.

During high school was when my interest in photography grew even more. On top of all of that, I’ve always had a fascination for clothes. When I was about five, I saw a reversible skirt, and... I just thought that is it right there. A reversible skirt, how can you reverse a skirt?! That was it for me.

CD: With these numerous interests in art in mind, what is your ideal career?

AL: I want to own my own company, and do the marketing, the photography, the styling, and make the clothes. I want to be the whole creative force behind my own business. I even designed my personal logos. I just need to get my sewing up to par and eventually I will produce all of my clothes by hand. Once my sewing is there I will begin with everything else I mentioned.

CD: Where would your knowledge in graphic design be used there?

AL: The graphic design would be of use for my logos, I already have my logos made. It would definitely be used for creating the clothing tags. On [Adobe] Illustrator is where I create my fashion illustrations.

CD: Since you have this desire to build your own fashion empire, how are you working towards this goal with your education?

AL: For my education, I am majoring in fashion design, because I want to acquire the skill set in order to produce high quality clothing items to the best of my ability. Personally, I don’t think school is for me, but I do it because of my passion and I want to build my knowledge. Some of the classes I have completed at Chaffey College are introduction to art, introduction to animation, introduction to graphic design, pattern making, beginning to sewing, and industrial sewing… Basically almost all of the fashion courses, there is only a few left I have to complete.

CD: Do you have any other plans education-wise after Chaffey College?

AL: This is a little bit intense, but I want to go back to school almost five different times. I want to get my degree in fine arts in fashion and in painting, a degree in photography, graphic design, and maybe even anthropology. I will only go back to get those degrees if I am able to provide the money to pay for my schooling myself. I don’t think I can stick to one thing my whole life, that’s my problem.

If my life were to fail, I would totally be okay with living in my car and being an art teacher, and create art my whole life.

At least then I would be fulfilled as long as I have my art.

Art provided byAdrianna Lara

all?

CD: Does that thought scare you at

AL: It’s terrifying, but I would definitely be a happier person overall being able to do what I want with art.

CD: Overall, what does art mean to you?

AL: Art means everything to me. It is a way that I can speak without saying anything, and it allows people to listen.

CD: Where do you receive your creative inspiration for art from?

AL: I don’t get my inspiration from anything visual. For everything, I get my inspiration from music. I cannot produce music to save my life. In the past I’ve tried four different instruments and none of

them worked out. Despite that, there is something with sound that I associate with imagery in my head and it transforms into something. For example, there is a certain sound the guitar makes that sounds like a flower to me. Then for some reason it provokes me to draw certain things and make peculiar patterns in clothing items.

That all comes from the guitar noise I refer as a flower. Any artist’s music can create that feeling within me. Other than that, nothing inspires me visually, except maybe Rihanna’s clothing. Overall, it is just a very strange process that is not linear what so ever.

CD: Lastly, what are some words of encouragement you would share with someone pursuing any of the various

forms of art like yourself ?

AL: Some words of encouragement I’d share would be to not allow anyone to push you down. Don’t worry about the likes and numbers, just allow yourself to create the best possible thing you can.

Also, don’t compare yourself to others, because everyone has different processes and creations. As long as you create what makes you happy, then keep going. Never care what anyone else has to say about you for as long as you pursue what makes you feel like a whole person.

To follow Adrianna Lara on her journey in the various forms of art, check out her Instagram: @insanartsy.

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Generation Sydney Vargas @syds808s

N

ude Photography is the creation of any photograph which contains an image of a nude or semi-nude person.

Nude photography is undertaken for a variety of purposes, including educational uses, commercial applications and artistic creations. More often than not, “nude photography” in the 21st century is used as a source or eroticism.

This is nothing new. Erotic Photos have aged back since the invention of the first photograph. French Artist Louis Daguerre invented the Daguerreotype, known now as the photograph in 1839. By the spring of 1844 there was already a series on photographs taken of explicit content between naked subjects portraying sexual acts in different positions, foreplay, and within different sexualities. For some reason when we learn about the 19th century they leave all the “fun” parts of history out. Stuff like the booming French Pornographic industry which for its time had a wide variety that could still cater to most fetishes still alive today today.

This notion is humanizing in a sense that even our ancestors were all just working their 9-5 day job, and trying to get off by the end of the night. Based on the written text books of history we are accustomed to think of the Victorians as a prudish and repressed breeds With that said the demand for pornography is still very alive today. According to the Public Domain Review, “Say you visited in the 1890s: staring down at you would be a range of titillating titles of erotic series like The Power of Mesmerism: A Highly Erotic Narrative (1891), The

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Seducing Cardinal (1830), and The Lustful Turk (1864). The latter has a lascivious frontispiece showing two naked women with birches ready to lash a pair of bare buttocks.” Try typing that in your PornHub search engine. Clearly the only difference is how drastically the platforms have changed now due to social media. Rather than visit local sex shops or adult content stores and purchasing your content from men who own business and take cuts from the stars, now the positions are changing!

Literally. These young stars are now able run their own businesses of sex work and collect all their profits. “This ability to brand yourself is crucial to young women in the modern sex industry to support themselves.” While Cam Girling, (erotic live stream content) is becoming extremely popular amongst these young stars due to its safety and monetary gains there is act of selling nudes and snapchats. Selling nudes currently serves as a modern gateway to the sex industry. Women are able to support themselves financially by selling their own erotic content consensually with the clients from the safety of their iPhone. Most of these young upcoming stars create a persona online but, it is also becoming more common for women to feel comfortable enough to just apply these services on their public and personal profiles. Chyna Web, being one of these women is 21 years old and is currently sustained financially by selling her nudes online. In an interview with Web she gives us a personal look into here current work life.

e a naash a that early y ue ocal nd who e ng! w x This o ndusCam is gst nd ng

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Send Nudes Vargas: How did you reach the decision that you were going to start selling nudes online? Was it a hard or easy decision?

Web: It was half and half because, it’s obviously scary putting yourself out there like that but, I love money and it’s such a easy source of money.

Vargas: I see, it’s that little push of just being willing to be completely open on the internet. I think with so many people being so transparent emotionally and sexually on the internet I can see it easier and easier for girls to not be so scared. That’s so awesome.

How would you describe your experiences with your clients?

Web: Yes! Exactly! It’s not bad, I smoke a lot though so sometimes when I get really high I get paranoid and delete all the conversations with my clients but, for the most part people are really nice and come back again.

Vargas: Have you ever felt uncomfortable or for the most part do you always feel comfortable?

Web: Hmmm that just goes with how my day is and you know everyone is different. I have anxiety for example so sometimes I freak out that people are hitting me up but again in the end I love money and I think I’m cute, haha so I don’t mind.

Vargas: Does your romantic relationship ever suffer because you are a sex worker?

Web: Honestly I tried to do this with my last boyfriend but that just goes along the lines of knowing when you can and can’t let people be in control of your body. In my current relationship I’m free to do as a I please but if I weren’t I’d probably still do as I please.

Vargas: Exactly! Your body, your choice! Your money! Wow thank you so much Chyna.

Web: No thank you hehe.

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Mason Vega, Artis Seymore, Caleb Arreola Chaffey College Football

By: Sid Suarez

@sidsuarez66 Photos by Sid Suarez

All smiles for Artis Seymore for a great game.

Mason Vega #9 is a defensive

end and outside linebacker for the Chaffey College Panthers football team. Towering at 6 feet 3 inches and 250 pounds, he is a presence for opposing teams to get through. For the first seven games played, he got 15 solo tackles, 11 assists, 26 tackles, 3.7 tackles per game, 3.5 sacks and one interception returned for a touchdown, contributing to Chaffey's record of seven wins and one loss. The Panthers are ranked 16th in the state and first in the American Division. Vega played four years of basketball and played football his senior year for Los Osos High School. After graduating from Los Osos, he attended Portland State University in Oregon during his freshman year, but returned back to Rancho Cucamonga and enrolled at Chaffey College to finish out his sophomore year. When I asked Vega why he came back to play for Chaffey, he answered, "I wanted to come back home and play in front of my family, 16 because they could not see me play in

Portland". In talking to Vega, I could see he has strong ties to his family, his sister and his parents. He says he gets excited and pumped up when he sees his family in the stands cheering and rooting for him.

Vega plans to graduate at the end of the fall 2018 semester, with an associate degree in business. At the moment, he does not know where he plans to transfer, but wherever he goes, he just wants to play football. He has been offered a football scholarship to Liberty University in Virginia and the University of Hawaii, but says his options are still open.

In speaking with Vega, I was impressed and surprised that someone who can be a menacing and dominant force in the sport of football was humble, and a pleasure to talk with.

When I asked him where he gets his humble demeanor from, he said "My parents have always taught me to be humble and have compassion towards others.� Great advice from a talented and gifted young man.

A confident and poised Caleb Arredla Artis Seymore was born on August 13, 1998 and graduated from Upland High school in Upland, California. Artis played age group football growing up and then played for Upland High school where he did well, but was not the main running back. He says he did not get any offers for a football scholarship from universities, and so he was recruited to play for Chaffey college. I asked Artis, what made him decide to play for Chaffey. He said that the running back coach for Chaffey college, Craigston Robbins reached out to him and gave him advice that playing at the junior college level was better suited for him.

On his education, Artis is holds a 3,2 GPA and was undecided on his major, but wanted to complete all his general education classes before deciding on a particular major. He did mention kinesiology briefly, but as he puts it, "I am just going with the flow at the moment.�

Artis #30, a freshman this year, was not a starter for the team during the regular 2018 season, but on the last regular season game at home against West Los Angeles College, he got his first start and had an impressive performance. He rushed for 159 yards on 8 carries and scored 2 touchdowns with his longest run of 69 yards. There was one run where Artis was running down the sideline and a West L.A. defender was in his way, and he leaped and hurdled over the West L.A. defender and landed on his feet. It was an awesome sight to see.

I asked Artis what the future holds for him at Chaffey, he said, "I just seize any opportunity to play football and work hard at it". In speaking to him, he is a very confident player in his abilities to play football, he just needed the chance to showcase his talent, which he did. He is an only child and gets great support from his mom Crystal. Since he was a freshman playing football in high school, Artis said "my mom would send me a different quote before every game with sayings of keep my head up, run hard". I have no doubt in my mind that this young man,

given the opportunity, will play a vital role in the success of the Chaffey college football program next season.

This 2018 football season for Chaffey college has produced a crop of talented young freshmen. One in particular is freshman starting quarterback, Caleb Arreola. Caleb #3 has been outstanding and is having a stellar season. Born August 11, 1998 in Upland, California, Caleb grew up in the Ontario and Chino, California area. He played football for Chino Hills high school and during his senior year in 2015 at Chino Hills, Caleb led Chino Hills to an undefeated season, beating Upland high school to win the Baseline league championship. Chino Hills reached the California Interscholastic Federation(C.I.F.) semifinals, but lost to Mission Viejo high school.

Standing 6 feet, 2 inches at 190 pounds, Caleb who throws left handed, has the physic of what a quarterback should look like, with the talent of reading opponents defenses. In conference games, he has 1563 total passing yards, 21 touchdowns, averaging 260.5 yards passing per game, zero interceptions, with

a pass efficiency of 185.2. Caleb was here at Chaffey for the 2017 football season, but was sidelined due to a shoulder injury which required surgery during the 2018 off season. Amidst his prior injury, I would say Caleb has made a complete recovery having an impressive season.

With a 2.9 GPA, Caleb wants to major in political science in hopes of becoming a teacher in the future. He has a sister who is a junior at St. Lucy high school. He is supported by his dad, Rene, and mom, Jeanette. I asked Caleb what advice his parents give him that he takes with him, he said " my parents always tell me to trust in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ".

I want to thank these young men for giving me the opportunity to get to know them as a student and player. I wish them good luck on their journeys

Artis Seymore hurdling over a West L.A College Defender 17

E

By: Amalia Escobedo @amyscobedo all my sisters. As far as I knew, I was treat-

very year 18.1% of the U.S. population suffers from anxiety according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Although this is a huge number, it can still make you feel alone especially if you are an individual from the Christian community. I wasn’t aware of how much the church swept the topic of anxiety under the rug, until I dealt with it firsthand.

Over 40 million people are affected with anxiety according to the National Institute of Mental Health. That is a large number and with so many affected, it should be open to conversation. Especially among the church, which is meant to be a place where people can come with all sorts of problems and receive spiritual healing and solutions. Often the church does not address anxiety or how to deal with it. They convey the message that anxiety streams from worry and worry is a sin. Leaving so many unanswered questions and chastising someone for having the issue in their life.

In like a sudden wave sweeping you off your feet and dragging you off into a dark storm that seems to never cease.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, biological factors and traumatic events can play a part in accumulating anxiety and women are more likely to be affected than men.

I became afflicted with General Anxiety in 2013, during my junior year of high school, and couldn’t figure out the cause. I grew up in a stable and loving home with both parents and siblings. I was raised with Pentecostal values, which means that we believe in God but also had a relationship with him. My parents were overprotective but well within reason of our safety. In total honesty, I was the most spoiled out of 18

ed like a princess and grew up better than what was considered normal. Anything I wanted and needed was given to me.

This did not stop anxiety from hitting me, I began noticing the first signs of it when my nerves began to overtake my digestive system. The first thought of worry that would enter my mind would trigger my nerves and I would have to run straight to the restroom. After a while I began to feel weaker and weaker as everything I ate would go straight through me. The thought of another attack would shy me away from eating normally. I remember my parents taking me from one doctor to another. Each time it was the same procedure, take blood out, read the results and find absolutely nothing. I started wondering what in the world was wrong with me.

The words of one nurse stuck with me, she believed I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome also known as IBS. She sent me home without any prescription and told me, “try not to stress to much” and told my parents that there weren’t any medications available for my diagnosis. I remember going home that day feeling even more worried and worse than before. I thought IBS stood for the other term “BS” when someone is telling you lies. I kept thinking, everything I was feeling was real, that I was not lying and that it was not just in my head. If everything was just in my head, than there isn’t any medication or pills to help me because it was my doing but this only made me feel worse.

The months passed, and I got to the point where I could not go to school anymore or be in any public situation. I became bedridden from how weak I got from not eating, because of either my

nerves or my body not being able to retain any nutrients from my food. Any negative or irrational thoughts about daily routines or situations would throw me into a panic attack. My whole body would begin to tremble, I couldn’t breathe and than I would get a sharp stomach pain. I always had to be near a restroom and if I was not in there, I was on the floor in pain or laying in my bed.

My family is very close and strong in the faith, so I know these months were the hardest for them. We know that God is all powerful and could heal instantly. I remember my sisters and mom coming in and telling me that they were praying for me to be healed. Although they would become frustrated because I remained the same and they didn’t understand why God wasn’t answering their prayers. I remember seeing my dad look into my room every now and then. He would comment that maybe it was time to go to the hospital to get an IV injected. Of course he said this out of love and concern, but it only made me worry even more. I never told my family, but I remember the evening after hearing my dad say that I told God that if he was going to take me then to just do it already because I could not bear to see my family in so much pain because of me and that the situation I was in did not count as living.

I remember one night when everyone else was sleeping, I got on my knees in complete darkness and completely broke down. I began to weep and cry out to God like I have never done before, I asked him to heal me and told him that if he did, I would know it was him and never turn back. The next day I told myself that if this sickness is really all in my head, than it

was not so bad because it meant that I was in control.

I began watching preachers such as Joyce Meyers and Joseph Prince, who would talk about worry and the peace of God. Through their teachings I started to learn that anxiety stemmed from my own thoughts. I started practicing how to change my negative thoughts into positive ones whenever they passed my mind. I also started to pray in my head all of the time and I slowly started to get better. I was regaining my strength and as far as my diet went, I took it slow and started feeding my body food that was high in probiotics to combat the IBS. The hardest part came when I finally had the courage to go back to school again. I would still get attacks at school, but I would ask God to show me three things that were the same to remind that he was with me. I remember knowing that God was with me after seeing three things that were the same from street lines, to birds in a row or even signs. One crucial thing I began to do was to remembering bible verses such as Proverbs 3:5-6 or Jeremiah 29:11 and rehearsing them in my head when a negative thought would enter my state of mind. The recovery process was long, but I was able to do it with God's help and before long I was able to function normally in society.

I would still get occasional attacks, but I noticed that they would come and go faster than before because I knew how to fight back. I know God is the one who healed me and helped me through this, and since then my relationship with him has grown so much. At first, I was so embarrassed to talk about this to anyone.

I thought that since I was Christian this would only show how terrible of a Christian I was but today I am able to share my testimony because I realized that I am not alone and that there are many believers who are suffering with anxiety. I stand before them today and tell them of my experience, the way God healed me and how I did not need any outside help because his

word and love got me through. I no longer suffer from anxiety and have complete peace but if I was given the chance to go back and redo the whole thing I would do it in a heartbeat because of how many people God has allowed me to help.

The reason I say that the church needs to open the conversation up to anxiety is because of the experiences I have had on the topic with the church and the way they have approached it. One day at church, one of the leaders came up to speak about anxiety but all he quoted was one verse about how we should not worry because it is a sin. If it made me feel bad and didn’t really give me any answers or methods on how to deal with it then I am pretty sure anyone else in the room that deals with anxiety left feeling hopeless that day as well. Another experienced occurred at a youth retreat, they invited a guest speaker from Texas to talk about anxiety.

He began his talk by stating, “I personally have never gone through anxiety, but I know a friend who did and here are some statistics.” He kept mentioning how anxiety is a mental disease and just kept repeating that we needed to get help or to tell our friends about it.

How can someone who has never experienced anxiety or relate to it go on and tell others how to deal with it? In my eyes, it was like a person who doesn’t know how to swim teaching a class of beginners. It did not make any sense and it felt more like he was accusing and judging those who were going through it. During that retreat I met girls who opened up to me about their anxiety after hearing my testimony. Many of them told me how their friends and relatives do not understand them and that they are judged more for having the problem instead of helped.

One girl said that when she does open up to a person about it all she hears is, “oh you have to stop worrying or go to the doctor and get some pills.” Pills get rid of the symptoms but the anxiety is still there.

I recently read an article of a pastor

who has been in the ministry for 40 years and has struggled with anxiety through all of it. As I was reading his story I was looking to see how he got rid of it. The thing that saddened my heart, is that he never conquered it. He states how he still suffers to this day, I was expecting to hear his testimony but instead heard a cry for help. The church needs to begin to talk about ways to deal with anxiety. There are so many people in the bible that struggled with anxious thoughts but overcame with God's help.

Society tells people to do yoga and meditate in order to calm their nerves but if people read the word of God in Joshua 1:8, “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” I used to ponder the thought of what meditation meant but now I know that it is to constantly have something in your mind and rehearse it over and over again which is exactly what I would do but with different bible verses.

Reading those scriptures helped me begin to change my thoughts and recognize that any thought that did not match with the word of God was not from him.

If a thought came to my head doubting my healing process, I would begin to meditate on this verse,“For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, they are plans for good and not disaster to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11.

If another thought came telling me that I was ugly, weird and nobody would want to be near me, I would combat it with psalms 139:14, “ for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

This is what the church needs to begin doing, instead of condemning them, teach people how to deal with anxiety until it is conquered through God's words. The process is not easy, it is long and there is a much needed effort but with God by your side it is possible and achievable.

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I Used To Wonder If I Was Crazy Michele Macias

Photos by Michele Macias

M

ental health is no taboo for Millenials. Anyone who is tidy or organizes their records in alphabetical order is suddenly OCD. Going through different emotions must mean a person is Bipolar and a mind that strays is surely due to ADD or ADHD. But a more popular diagnosis is Crazy.

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of Crazy ranges from mentally deranged to insane or senseless, impractical and intensely enthusiastic. Crazy often used to discredit a person’s emotions or describe their behavior. Crazy is anything out of the ordinary.

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with remembering things and performing tasks that are considered easy.

From connecting the dots to kickball, basic math and reciting phone numbers. All minuscule things that most people take for granted. My talents were often unwelcomed or overlooked and therefore, never worth bragging over.

I am a master of analogies (people do not like being compared) and patterns. My sense of smell is similar to a bloodhound so my nostrils flare as they detect strange smells from a block away. And since smell is closely linked to memory, I hold on to things that people say and turn into a human mockingbird. None of these talents can be listed as skills on a resume but people like to label them weird or crazy.

I was born into a circus of a family.

My best friends were my sisters and all we knew of the world was what my parents told us and what we saw in the movies. My safe space was a one bedroom apartment in Lynwood where my sisters and I recited movie scenes and performed to The Sound of Music and the Lion King for an invisible audience. My mom compared us to a jukebox and called us toca-discos when we 20

@maciasmichele24

acted silly or made her laugh. Having fun was encouraged and loca (crazy) was an endearment, a word that was used repeatedly with a smile. I was a happy child who felt like she belonged until I was exposed to strangers and got called out for being different.

My parents did their best absolute best but I was born curious and with very poor impulse control. When I was three, I followed my older cousin’s directions and walked straight into a box cutter that sliced my right cheek and left a scar.

In first grade, composition writing was my opportunity to shine so naturally, my favorite activity was the one that made the rest of the class groan. But I could never figure out when to end a sentence so for a long time, I peppered my stories with periods wherever they landed.

At parent conferences, my teachers used the words bright and creative to describe me but frequently mentioned that my daydreams and doodling got in the way of my classwork. It was annoying to hear but it was true so I grew to accept it.

I cheated death on my 11th summer when I slid my dainty ankles into arm floaties and almost drowned as my face teetered in and out of my friend’s community pool. Luckily, my mother witnessed most of my perils during my earlier years so she grabbed me by the hair and pulled me out.

My first job was at Quiznos, it took me longer than any of my coworkers to memorize the menu but I caught typos and expiration dates better than anyone else in the team. Either way, the girls failed to recognize my attention to detail and focused on the way I blanked and stammered and called me dumb behind my back.

Despite not being bullied, I got called things that made me feel like an outsider.

At home, my silliness was normal and appreciated but at school and work, I was a wild card against my will. My peers and even some of my close friends jokingly called me a weirdo, scatterbrain, irresponsible, mean, self-centered and crazy. I went along with it, at least I was not boring, I thought.

It was not until my senior year of high school that I started believing the things that people said about me because I did not graduate. I was too proud or too scared to ask for help because I feared that I had no choice and was destined for failure. I stopped showing up to school and it did not take long for my counselor to call me in. He encouraged me to keep trying and informed me that I did not need a high school diploma to attend community college as long as I was 18. I decided to wait for my 18th birthday and got a fulltime job at a thrift store in the meantime but in no time, I was bored.

At 22, I got engaged to my second boyfriend of only five months. Of course, I knew the chances of it working out were slim but I craved independence above anything else and divorcée was an attractive alternative that sounded très chic. My early twenties were full of opportunities, youth and charm had better plans in store and landed me a job that I was underqualified for. My title was personal assistant to a man who was openly bipolar and made money in figures that I could not even articulate. He picked me because he found me funny and authentic and I was happy because my eccentricity had finally worked in my favor. The pay made it possible for me to rent a studio in Koreatown where the Hollywood sign winked at me from my window but it did not last.

My engagement ended. Maybe I provoked it, without knowing or wanting to, but his cheating arrived without an invitation. I shrugged my shoulders and made it my goal to make up for all the time that I had wasted. In an effort to be taken seriously, I evolved into a perfectionist. I kept the weird me (the real me) under wraps and developed a phony graceful demeanor that did not fit me. I carried a planner where I wrote down everything to avoid forgetting or getting off track. Every morning, I would wake up and make my bed because if I did not, I knew a stressful day was ahead of me.

Unconsciously, I developed an obsession for rituals and cleanliness. I panicked when things were out of order and even cried when it was too much to handle. I was no longer fun to be around.

My friends had to speed clean their rooms when I announced that I was going over and they threw on matching socks to avoid witnessing one of my episodes. I was miserable and the blurry line that divided the real me from the fabricated me quickly dissolved. It was confusing, I did not know who I was anymore and that made me feel crazier than ever.

It was not until I got my GED in 2018 and returned to school that I felt optimistic about my future. I felt as if I finally had

a purpose in life because I did incredibly well this time around and discovered a major that was a good fit for my quirky personality. For my interpersonal communications final, I picked a project that focused on perspective and required feedback from 5 significant others. The prompt had a disclaimer that advised students to be careful since a project of that sort could set off a trigger, I laughed. When my finished questionnaires came in, I felt foolish because I cried out of frustration and therefore, was a victim of the disclaimer.

The feedback that I received was hard to swallow. I felt attacked. My quirks and personality were seen as rude acts of self-centeredness. The way I interrupted my loved ones with questions as they told stories was considered rude. They translated how I completed their sentences, interrupted stories and asked for more vivid details as a way to direct the attention back to me. An endless list of things I was oblivious to now stood before me and I was embarrassed for thinking of myself as self-aware and emotionally intelligent.

I was disgusted and enraged. I was not mad at my loved ones, but I wish they would have told me these things sooner.

I was disappointed with myself because I felt like a terrible person. To make matters worse, my boyfriend chose to break up

with me through text while this whole fiasco unfolded. I blamed myself, I figured that he had discovered how awful I was.

I had volunteered to be critiqued and it had worked against me. That was the last straw, I broke down and cried like never before. I curled up into a ball and covered my mouth as I screamed my lungs out inside my closet.

For the first time in my life, I visited a therapist and later, a psychiatrist. I needed help but my problems seemed so minuscule as I talked about them. I imagined how dumb I sounded but the therapist assured me that everything was relative and that anyone could benefit from therapy sessions.

The psychiatrist determined that I suffered from depression and on my next visit, I learned that I had Attention-deficit/Hyperactivity-disorder and that I must have developed Obsessive-compulsive disorder to counteract the problems I faced with ADHD. I looked up at him with swollen frog eyes and questioned his evaluation. He compared me to a tiger and said that he was surprised at the fact that no one else had noticed my stripes.

I assured him that they had always given me away and that I was ashamed of them until that day.

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I felt as if I had won the lottery, not because having a disorder was the best of news but because I felt vindicated. This was proof that I was not evil or a terrible person and that my brain just worked differently. I learned that for most of my young adult life, I was too busy fighting and obsessing over the things I did poorly when I should have been focusing on nourishing and highlighting my strengths and hobbies.

I had always belonged and at home.

Although charismatic and an extrovert around my friends, there were too many times when I held back my impulses and restrained the real me. It was not so much that I was afraid of not being liked but I was tired of being seen as just a clown. If it had not been for that assignment, I would have probably continued

22

in denial. Perhaps my disabilities would have remained undetected had I not had the breakdown.

When my friends learned that I was considering medication, they worried that it would change my personality. Instead, it eazed things and made it possible for me to focus on less than 20 things at once. I still struggle with retaining information and figuring out the ending of sentences but waiting for my turn to speak is now bearable and I can resist squirming when I spot friends in mismatched socks.

Medication has been a big part of my growth but I cannot rely on it alone so I go to therapy once a week. It is incredible how much I have learned about myself by just unloading my thoughts during sessions. I am no longer afraid to be my imperfect self and

I have never felt so whole and accepted.

Now that I know how my brain works, I am a lot more compassionate with myself and those around me. Yes, I am a handful and not everyone has had the patience to keep me in their life but that does not mean that there is something wrong with me and it definitely does not mean that I am dumb. Guess who is on the Dean’s Honor Roll...

I used to wonder if I was crazy, but now I don’t.

TOXIC FANDOM: THE DEVOLUTION OF FANDOM

By John Argote Rodriguez @Johnargote1

I

love movies, they’re my passion and there’s nothing I love more than going to the movie theatre and watching a film on the big screen the way it was meant to be seen. Although, seeing the community of film fans interact comes in as a close second. Movie fandoms are amazing things, they are a safe place fans can talk about the movies they love, but, as of recently, something’s changed, a toxicity has spread.

Now don’t get me wrong, every fandom has its fair share of trolls who are there simply to try and ruin everybody’s enjoyment. There’s one franchise in particular that has become poisonous and I’m sure you know which one I’m talking about… Star Wars.

On December 15th of 2017, “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” was released and while it received positive reviews from critics, the community had very mixed feelings about the movie. Now a person simply not liking a movie isn’t toxic, that’s just an opinion amongst some fans. It’s a good thing, actually, because despite critical reception, movies are a form of art

and art is viewed differently by different people.

“That’s the beauty in film, there’s no right or wrong answer.”

Fandoms are becoming toxic, and it has consumed the Star Wars community and it’s spreading into to others. It’s honestly heartbreaking, because they are supposed to be a place for us to get together and discuss the things we love most and now no one can have an opinion without being accused of stupid things. I said it before and I’ll say it again: Actors are not their characters, movies are fictional and you need to be able to differentiate fiction and reality, because it’s destroying fandoms.

However, when death threats, racism and harassment begin, then a fandom is no longer a fandom, its a poisonous environment. Kelly Marie Tran who plays Rose Tico became the main target of all of this after the movie premiered. A fandom is destroyed when it fails to recognize the difference between fiction and reality.

Back in 2015 there was a poor excuse of an attempt at boycotting “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”. Why? Well, according to some “fans” J.J. Abrams is anti-white…

23

Self Care Mac Miller

The Blue (feat.

Snoop Dogg) - Buddy

Who Hurt You? - Daniel Caesar

God is a woman Ariana grande

SICKO MODE Travis Scott

New Patek Lil Uzi Vert

Uproar - Lil Wayne

DR.WHOEVERAmine

T Nonstop - Drake

Cl

This Is America Childish Gambino

FUN! - Vince Staples

Charcoal Baby Blood Orange

Trust Issues Rico Nasty BOSS - THE CARTERS High (feat. Elton john) - Young Thug

THe baseline Playlist Class of 2018

Buff Baby-Tobi Lou

Don’t Matter To Me -Drake and Michael Jackson

thank u, next Ariana Grande

honorable mention

Void- The Neighbourhood

OTW - (feat. 6LACK & Ty Dolla $ign

The Love of Kenya Emma Donnelly @emmakdonnelly14

The Great Rift Valley View Point at Kikuyu.

All photos by: Emma Donnelly

W

hen most individuals think of their next vacation destination, places such as the Bahamas, France or Greece come to mind. For most, the destination of Nairobi, Kenya does not hit too high on the list of hot vacation spots.

However, for anyone who travels to Kenya, they will learn that Kenyan culture is extremely welcoming and that Kenya is full of some of the most generous and amazing people one might ever encounter.

Upon my own arrival in Kenya, I quickly learned Kenyans welcome and love any and all visitors. As you drive down the streets in a “matau”, private owned minibuses, Kenyans will wave to you and have gleaming smiles, as you pass them. They are amused and excited at the sight of “Mzungus”, which is the term used for any Caucasian visitors.

William, who is currently studying aeronautical engineering at one of the universities in Kenya, was one Kenyan who welcomed all Americans with smiles and warm embraces. The team I traveled with spent four days with William and his friends in Nairobi, and he expressed how much he loved all visitors. When asking William why Kenyans welcome all visitors with open arms, he replied that “ we [Kenyans] are so happy that out of all the places to visit, you chose Kenya!”

Kenyans take pride in their country and want visitors to be pleased when they are immersed in the culture.

Kenyans say thank you to visitors and any individuals that come to aid their country, through food. Kenyans

will give you the best of what they have to offer and in most cases this is through the food they cook, which is always delicious.

Another Kenyan, by the name of Rose, cooked the most amazing meals and always stuck around to hear the pleased noises us “Mzungos” would make, as the delicious food was consumed. We later learned that Rose would wake up at four in the morning, walk to a market, miles from her home, just to prepare lunch for all visitors.

Delicious Kenyan dishes from minced meat to “mandazi”, fried bread, and “chapati”, unleavened flatbread, are all cooked with love and appreciation, which makes it hard to not to love the food!

Kenyans will receive you with smiles and joyous greetings, despite their own hardships they face. Nairobi is home to the Kibera Slums, the largest slum on the continent of Africa and arguably the world, which houses many of the friends we met in Nairobi. Homes are made of tin sheets molded together and are stacked on top of one another.

Joysprings, a school in the Kibera Slums, gave us American visitors a chance to work with Kenyan students, ranging from preschool to eighth grade. Every day our team would travel into Kibera and be greeted with smiles, waves and fist bumps or “cotas” as the students said. The children we met wore clothes that had more holes than fabric but never walked around without a smile.

27

The HDI is a statistic which combines all life expectancies, education, and per capita income indicators. To compare those numbers to America, the United Nations Development program has data to show America with a life expectancy at birth of 78.69 years.

For most students they will expect to complete 16.5 years of schooling with a mean of 13.4 years. America has a Human Development Index of 0.924, which puts America at 14th on the list for Human Development for all countries.

When looking at the differences in just three statistics between America and Kenya, it is not hard to believe that Kenya would be deemed a Third World country. For most people living in the Kibera slums, we were told that some families lived off of only two dollars a day. It is not hard to see the difference between Kenya and America.

Although a developing country, many of the young adults and college age individuals in Kenya are more similar to students Kenyan students at Joysrpings jump for joy for stickers being passed out. at Chaffey than one might think.

I had the chance to be welcomed into some of the student’s homes, to see that houses for a family of six were smaller than my own bedroom. Despite the lack of a new school uniform every year, a personal bedroom or even mattress, these children are the happiest, most humble and giving individuals one might ever meet.

These children would try to give you the only meal they might receive in one day, which I personally experienced, just to say thank you for taking the time to visit them. Many people, especially in America, could learn so much from these children who are only three to ten years old and how big their hearts are.

With the Kibera Slums, Kenya is considered a Third World, or Developing country. The One World Nations Online states this is due to Kenya’s terms of Human Development. This is influenced by many factors pertaining to life expectancy, gross national income and years of schooling. Kenya’s average life expectancy at birth is 57.1 years.

The expected years of schooling is 11 years, with the mean at seven years of schooling. Kenya holds a Human Development Three to five year old Kenyans show of their artwork in the classroom.

Index (HDI) of 0.590, ranked 142 of all countries.

Three to five year old Kenyans show of their artwork in the classroom.

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Four Kenyan men bond on a nature walk through Karura Forest.

About 25 minutes north of the buzzing city of Nairobi, our team had the chance of spending some time with some young adults who attend a church by the name of Cornerstone. We bought Americas processed cookies and snacks for the Kenyans to try, as processed foods are not too popular in Kenya, and played as many Americans games we could think of. In between games and eating, we were able to get to know these Kenyan individuals on a less superficial level.

When talking to different individuals about life and all that comes with it, we started to realize us Americans worry about the same thing Kenyans do. Important issues such as schoolwork, dating and family life came up in different topics, and while you sit and talk with the Kenyans, you momentarily forget they live across the globe.

One issue that gave most Americans had a good laugh with, was that of politics. One Kenyan woman had brought up a political slogan that translated to “together we can”, which led to a discussion on the difference of politics in Kenya and America.

What made us Americans laugh the most, was when a Wendy, a Kenyan young adult, said she admired our political system because it was “not at all corrupt”, unlike Kenya’s political system. We all made sure to informer her why we found that hilarious and went on to explain how uncorrupt politics really are in America.

When we sat down to have intimate talks amongst the group, many of us Americans realized that different country or not, we are all the same.

The need to be accepted by other, the harsh reality of the families we have that are not like the big happy families portrayed on social media, and the stress we have about life, school and jobs.

Both Kenyans and Americans sat pouring out our feelings to show that on the inside we really are similar, and geography does not change that.

In all the five countries I have visited, the people in Kenya have the biggest hearts. Although one could say it lacks the marvelous sights, luxurious beaches or even most elegant shops, the love and friendships you find in Kenya are some of the richest.

If you want to plan a trip to see the world, Kenya is the perfect place to start. Drink some chai, eat some “mandazi” and enjoy the love Kenya has to offer.

Kenyan students at Joysprings stand in assembly to say thank you and goodbye to American visitors.

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Exit America: What We Fail to Understand Paris Barraza P

resident Donald Trump’s aggressive remarks about the Migrant Caravan suggested a long overdue conversation in need of address. The lack of empathy was concerning, not because it was any different from previous stances on immigration in American history, but because it felt entirely dismissive of another perspective.

Recently, “Exit West” author Mohsin Hamid briefly stated at Pomona College: “America is founded on, you know, in that sense two great sorrows. The great sorrow inflicted on the people who were here. Also, the great sorrow that was experienced by those who left where they were to come here.”

On October 10th, Pomona College invited Hamid for an in-depth conversation about the novel, prompting him to reveal his thoughts about immigration and refugees. “Exit West” tells the story of a young couple fleeing their home to seek refuge in foreign nations, including the United States, all while sacrificing who they once were in pursuit of freedom and safety.

Though “Exit West” treads between the line of fiction and nonfiction, its intimate story is undoubtedly the story of many.

The Statue of Liberty represents the narrative America chooses to perpetuate despite repeated injustices towards the people who seek out this land. It is, arguably, the only sincere welcome any immigrant has ever received upon entering Ellis Island years ago. Lady Liberty is as much of an international symbol of enlightenment and liberty as it is a security blanket for those living in America, trying to find comfort that indeed we are home of the brave, 30

@ParisBarraza

fighting for the freedom of others. A land where, so long as you work hard, you can achieve anything...or so we tell ourselves.

Yet, as so many who have come before us can attest to, this would never be their reality. Immigrants then and now find themselves as inherently other, a group so powerful it threatens their ability to exist in the normal institutes we frequent. Religion, employment, educational opportunities and residency are not extended in the same vein as those born on American soil.

In February of this year, the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) changed its mission statement, omitting its recognizable phrase “nation of immigrants.” Though many still regard America as a nation of immigrants, the change in our rhetoric emphasizes a shift in perspective. We are not a nation of immigrants, we are Americans, is what is said. What is not said, is how exclusive the word American became.

America’s preference for Americans is certainly not new.

The Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 is often recognized for being the first federal act to restrict immigration. Furthermore, Chinese immigrants who resided in the U.S. were barred from citizenship, which left them unable to neither return to their home nor bring loved ones over. These immigrants were essentially isolated in the nation they worked to contribute to. The Chinese Exclusion Act was extended for another 10 years, and in 1902, Chinese immigration was illegal up until 1942.

Another key moment in our history is on January 1st, 1892, which marks Ellis Island’s first day of operation. Twelve

million immigrants passed through the facility before its closure in 1954. During this time, it was apparent that no group was safe from discrimination. Irish-Catholics, Czechoslovakians, Italians and Eastern European Jews were targeted at some point by their faith or their skin color, quickly becoming a part of the “undesirables” of American society. As a result, “undesirables” lived in poverty around New York, building small communities but often lacking any means to move up in social class.

“The Delineator”, an American women’s magazine in publication until 1937, published a scathing piece detailing the mistreatment at Ellis Island titled “Where Bad Citizens Are Made: Wouldn’t You Hate America If It Met You This Way?”, calling for a change in behavior. Reporters Marie De Montalvo and Rose Falls Bres who authored the article stated: “Do YOU know what happens at Ellis Island, in the shadow of the Statue of Liberty, to the Women who come to America from other lands because they think that this is the land of freedom, of Justice and of plenty-women whose only crime is poverty, whose only offense is ignorance of our language and our ways?”

In efforts to secure a better life, these individuals must sacrifice all they have ever known. Their homeland, the loved ones left behind, their native tongues and dress gone, each so deeply impactful to how we define ourselves. Names, the basis of our identity and link to our ancestry, were gone in an instant, butchered and altered by insensitive authorities.

It wasn’t just the authorities at Ellis Island or those in office who partook in these injustices. My Mexican-American grandmother, born in America, would be called Mary by her childhood teacher instead of her birth name, Maria Louise Barajas.

In the early 1960s, my grandparents on my mother’s side left Costa Rica in pursuit of better employment. The elementary school my two uncles attended placed them in a class with students with learning disabilities. Their only “handicap” was that they spoke Spanish. There was an unwillingness on an institutional level to provide resources for immigrants like my uncles in their new environment. America ensured that they understood they were not welcome.

This is what was forgotten, and what Hamid finds so detrimental in our ability to comprehend the magnitude of what migration does.

“Sometimes people say a migrant or refugee has come to a place like America, you know what have they given, what have they done to earn this and the answer, of course, has to be they have given every-

thing.”

The faces of immigrants may change, but the response has largely remained the same, other than being more visible and vocal. Trump ran on a platform expressing vehement criticism of immigrants, promising to “crack down” on those found illegally in the country. Most recently was Trump’s response to the Migrant Caravan that, as of November 15th, began to reach the U.S.-Mexico Border.

On October 12th, the caravan left from the Honduras, comprised of other Central Americans fleeing violence and unemployment in their home nations.

According to the United Nations Refugee agency, up to 7,000 people traveled with the caravan.

On October 22nd, Trump took to Twitter to state the following: “Sadly, it looks like Mexico’s Police and Military are unable to stop the Caravan heading to the Southern Border of the United States. Criminals and unknown Middle Easterners are mixed in. I have alerted Border Patrol and Military that this is a National Emergy. Must change laws!”

Meant to incite fear among U.S.

citizens, this is a clear example of Trump’s underlying message. Immigrants are dangerous, therefore we must protect ourselves. This mentality only exacerbates the unfounded idea that the enemy is the newcomer- immigrant, migrant, refugee, undocumented student. Regardless of name, regardless of intent, these minority groups are the scapegoats of the issues we chose not to take responsibility for.

What we can take responsibility for is our own response to those coming to America. We must recognize that they too are in an overwhelmingly difficult situation. This is one of Hamid’s most compelling points made.

“A recognition of the heartache and heartbreak of migration is, I think, is one of the steps towards a different relationship with humanity itself.”

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Prayers: Breaking Boundaries Austin Smedley

@AustinSmedley1

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rom chaos to center stage, the San Diego bred Prayers are just as ground-breaking on stage as they are musically.

Back in the 1980’s, acts like New Order and The Cure set the bar for the goth subculture. Introspective lyricism, electronic instrumentals, and a propensity for dark color palettes are what characterized what it meant to be goth. As with any genre and subculture, time both alters and evolves it.

We had Nine Inch Nails in the 90s, HIM in the 2000s, and now in the 2010’s, enter Prayers.

Constructed of singer/ songwriter Leafar Seyer, commonly referred to as the “Dragon, Serpent, and the Spear”, and instrumentalist/ DJ Dave Parley, Prayers began their foray into the music world in 2013. Since 2013, the duo has produced

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Photos by Alex Magdaleno @L_L_CoolJay three studio albums including SD Killwave in 2013, Young Gods in 2015, and Baptism of Thieves in 2017. Additionally, in 2014, Prayers dropped their EP Gothic Summer which propelled them into the spotlight, catching the attention of Travis Barker with whom they collaborated with on Young Gods, their second full-length studio release.

Having made such massive waves in the music industry and gothic subculture, I, being part of that subculture, was drawn to them and their message. On October 28, 2018, Prayers played a one-off show at the Fonda Theatre in Los Angeles, California. After reaching out to Leafar Seyer, he agreed to give me some details about the Avant Garde passion project he founded alongside his professed musical soul-mate, Dave Parley.

I have seen metal, synthwave, and alternative bands tear up the stage in the past. There is something special about a live performance from a band that is passionate about not only their music, but the message they put forth in the music that they create. No band, no scene, nor any show experience I have had or could have had would have prepared me for the visceral display of passion I felt from Prayers on October the 28th.

The stage, decorated with macabre, welded crosses both right-side up and up-side down, set the tone for the evening.

Both Leafar Seyer and Dave Parley identify greatly with their Chicanx heritage, with their rough-upbringing in San Diego only exemplifying this. As musicians, their cultural background serves as a reminder

of their past, and a reason to live for the future.

“I’ve been unlearning and re-exploring language and its effects on my psyche.

As a Chicanx who’s using foreign dialects to communicate, like English, a Germanic tongue and Spanish, pues let’s just say ke mi da muchísimo orgullo y mi considero (it gives me much pride and I consider myself) extremely lucky to be a Chicanx!” said Seyer.

Seeing has how this show was one of two special performances that Prayers would give to bookend 2018, I understood I was in for something special from the get-go. The Fonda Theatre was packed to the brim with fans that could only be described as die-hard. As successful musicians of Hispanic descent, Leafar Seyer and Dave Parley are a shining example to the marginalized communities they come from that you can achieve success.

In lock-step with his raw, unfiltered style, Leafar Seyer has little reservations about his responsibility to others.

“Responsibility” What do you mean by that? I’m no one!” said Seyer.

After the stellar opening act by the name of Mr. Kitty ended his set, the anticipation in the venue for Prayers set was palpable. Once the venue darkened, and the pounding, crisp bass of the song “Edge of the Blade” kicked in, the crowd went wild.

The musical style of Prayers is a unique one, drawing influence from bands like the Pet Shop Boys and Christian Death.

The word goth brings two things to mind, a musical genre and a style. Prayers, being very fashion-oriented, exemplify the genre. The duo employs their own twist on the genre known as Chologoth, a distinctive blend between the traditional goth subculture and the cholo culture they were surrounded by during their upbringing. According to Leafar Seyer, the genre cannot be summed up by words, but by its soundscapes alone.

“I think CHOLOGOTH already does a magnificent job of describing our sound. There’s no need for me to say more.”

As stated previously, this show was

unlike anything I had ever experienced.

The vibe amongst the fans was akin to that of a punk show, with people moshing and crowd surfing all the like. I would have never guessed that a band with a primarily electronic-based sound, accompanied with some hip-hop influences, would culminate into the wildest piece of theatre I would be subject to.

Prayers has received more media attention in the last one or two years than they ever have previously, due to not only the bands collaboration with Travis Barker on their second record, but also because of Leafar Seyer’s recent marriage to pop culture icon Kat Von D. Kat first entered the fold in 2016 when she appeared as a feature on the Prayers track “Black Leather”, causing further waves in the media after the music video for the infectious, synthwave banger made its debut.

After shredding through the first half of their set, Leafar Seyer welcomed to the stage the special guest of the evening, his newly-wed wife and mother-to-be, Kat Von D. Being quite pregnant, roughly thirty-six weeks in, I was wondering what her singing abilities would be like. I was pleasantly surprised once her delicate, angelic voice accompanied her husbands in a romantic, and endearing way. Such changes in a man’s life have the potential to put one’s work in an entirely new light. To further add to the man’s unique personality, his response to whether his soon-to-be-born son and his new wife have changed the way he approaches his art was as simple as it gets.

“No, it hasn’t.” Said Seyer.

Once “Black Leather” came to an end, and the tears from a few female fans next to me dried up, Kat Von D was helped offstage by Kenny Ochoa, Prayers manager.

Throughout the course of the show, Leafar Seyer ensured that the fans and friends that came out from San Diego to represent were acknowledged, not just as concert-goers, but as family. The references to their hometown, often referred to as SD, are very identifiable. Many people pay homage to home and give credit to where they came from, yet the symbolism referencing SD within the art Prayers produces is particularly notable. Just like the genre Chologoth speaks for itself, so too does San Diego according to Leafar Seyer.

“San Diego is America’s finest city and let’s just leave it at that.” Said Seyer.

The rest of this unique evening with Prayers took the form of what Seyer jdnfgjkndfgcalled on stage “Karaoke with Prayers”, as DJ Dave Parley began playing tracks that Seyer was not exactly prepared to sing. This gave the show such an intimate, light-hearted feel to it, reminding fans that this show was in fact a special one. After an encore during which “Edge of Blade” was once again performed due to some lyrical errors the first time around, the venue lights came on, and 2018 had ended for Prayers. Leafar Seyer left me with what the future has for the duo: “Love and heartbreak, success and failure, ups and downs.” Said Seyer.

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Lady Business

Raylene Camerano. Women pay millions of dollars in taxes, which do not apply to men.

Amanda Armoush 34

@Mandymoush

Paris Barraza. Tampons are considered a luxury item, the tampon tax in California costs women 20 million dollars a year.

Paris Barraza. Current tax codes reflect it is ok the tax women for being born women.

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Paris Barraza, Raylene Camerano. Feminine Hygiene products is a basic need for every woman, without access to these products, women will face serious medical problems.

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Creating Feminist Art Paris Barraza, Raylene Camerano. There is no such thing as a “tampon tax� which specifically is geared to feminine products, but 37

“Fake It Till A Look Conversion

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eleased in 2016, Garrard Conley’s novel, Boy Erased: A Memoir, tells his story of being outed as gay to his parents at the age of 19. Garrard’s southern Baptist preacher father only gave him two choices, attend conversion therapy or be disowned. With the desire to seek help Garrard enrolled in Love in Action (LIA), a program for conversion therapy.

During this two week program Garrard faced trials with his sexuality, his faith, and the torment this specialized therapy put him through.

Before the program ended, Garrard made an escape with LIA’s conversion therapy handbook in his hands. This handbook became one of the first pieces of information that allowed those outside of conversion therapy, to get a glimpse of what really takes place within.

Thus, allowing others, besides Garrard, to speak up and share their stories as well.

The first question many people ask is what is conversion therapy? Conversion therapy is a pseudoscientific method of spiritual and physiological mediation to alter one’s sexuality

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from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual. The whole purpose of it is to “cure” an individual of homosexuality or bisexuality.

This leads to it seen as an illness, or in spiritual terms it is viewed as a sinful lifestyle.

The beginning of conversion therapy started in 1974 by Frank Worthen who lived in San Francisco. For years he had relations with men as an openly gay man, until he reached his 40’s all of that came to an end.

While speaking to an audience in Singapore, Frank shared that at the time he felt empty and depressed. He even contemplated suicide, until he said that God spoke to him one day. Frank was told by God to start a church to help people like him to “leave the homosexual lifestyle.”

In 1973 Frank Worthen began the program, Love In Action (LIA), in California with methods that consist of pseudoscience, talk therapy, and the word of God. About two decades later, Frank expanded over to Memphis, due to the growth of the program. The difference from the therapy from then and today, is that back then people participated by choice.

During Frank Worthen’s program growth, the AIDs epidemic surfaced in the 80’s. Due to the illness occurring mainly among homosexual men, many believers saw AIDs as a judgement of God. Meaning God made AIDs as punishment for those participating in a homosexual lifestyle.

This idea eventually became an influence for the process of conversion therapy.

For years, not much light was shed on what took place within the barriers of the conversion therapy programs. When a 19 year old Garrard Conley attended LIA in 2004, things changed.

During Garrard’s time with LIA, he frequently references the large handbook given to every attendee on their very first day.

Staff members ordered them to memorize the handbook word by word. In the handbook the guidelines listed the rules on the strict dress code and the no touch policy, amongst other things along with out of context Bible verses. One of the main rules from this program included the order for them to not share any of what goes on within to anyone else outside. This command included their parents who

You Make It”: Inside Therapy were in most cases paying for their child’s enrollment.

Garrard openly shares the distressing experiences each of the members were made to do during the program. Upon arrival each member was stripped of his or her possessions, which were searched by staff. In one of the first few sessions they were assigned to making a genogram, and they were to mark each family member with a sign or symbol. The sign or symbol was in reference to if the family member were involved in any of the following: homosexuality, mental illness, drugs, gang involvement, pornography, and more. If any family was involved with any, they are automatically seen in a false light, and were a reason why the program attendee was there in the first place. A second therapy session required each member of LIA to 3 of their own sexual experiences and for each one they had to dissect and analyze it in graphic detail. This assignment of their’s was to be read aloud in front of all of the other members of the program.

Another session involved the empty chair exercise which requires them to imagine a loved one there and they have a con-

versation with them. In Garrard’s case, the instructor ordered him to say things to his father who he imagined in the chair and to get angry with them for making him the way he was.

While sessions such as these took place, others included them to meet with a trainer to get each of them to act their sexuality. The boys were made to act manly, and were told to “fake it till you make it.” In a church setting, each of the members were also told that God did not love them because of their sexuality. These few therapy sessions, amongst many others are just from one person’s experience, Garrard Conley’s, from one two week session in one conversion therapy program, LIA. Love In Action’s reasoning for all of this? The Bible. Liz Dyer, owner and founder of Serendipitydohdah, has shared her thoughts on this topic which include the following, “What does the Bible say? Not what do I want it to say... it’s a profound issue.”

The point made by Liz Dyer is featured on the UnErased podcast, created and produced by Garrard Conley. The UnErased podcast goes in depth at the root of conversion therapy, and takes a closer

look into other’s experiences aside from Garrard Conley.

Although Garrard’s story is one of the first made public, it doesn’t come close to what others have faced as well. More than 700,000 people have undergone conversion therapy in America alone. When making this point on UnErased, Jad Abumrad also states, “that’s equivalent to the city of Boston.” Ten years have passed since Garrard Conley shared his whole experience of conversion therapy, and yet today it is still legal in 36 states.

To learn more about conversion therapy read Garrard Conley’s memoir “Boy Erased,” also follow the podcast “UnErased: The History of Conversion Therapy in America.” Lastly visit Garrard’s website garrardconley.com for further information.

Ciara de alba @ciara_mist97

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The Flog Gnaw Experience Story by Ayannah Dimas Photos by Josh Gutierrez

Tyler The Creator’s 7th annual carnival Camp Flog Gnaw took place at Dodger Stadium November 10th through 11th and was not one to miss. This year received an upgrade to the much larger Dodger Stadium from Exposition Park where it had been previously held for 5 years. With everything done bigger and better this year was one to remember. With tons of rides, and carnival games to insanely long merch lines and a line up carefully curated, attendees always had something to do.

Regardless of the poor air quality, due to nearby fires, the event had no shortage of guests.

Between the main stages on the Southwest and Southeast corners, held food vendors, carnival rides and games. Rides included the Ferris wheel, the

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@yaaaannah @JoshGut1098

spinning Himalaya, the Zero Gravity and countless others.

Prizes for these typical carnival games included socks, plush toys, key chains, flags and a lot more, all Camp Flog Gnaw or GOLF branded.

This year’s line up featured artists like Tierra Whack, Flatbush Zombies, Billie Ellish, A$AP Rocky, Kali Uchis and plenty others. Some of the more anticipated performers included Ms. Lauryn Hill and a debut performance by Kids See Ghosts. Many artists expressed their love for LA and their love and desire to perform at Camp Flog Gnaw. While the event gave an escape to some grim events happening across the nation and even closer to the LA venue, the performers made sure to ground the audience every now and then.

Pusha-T recalled the murder of his friend in the track “Santeria.” SZA dedicated a heartfelt and tearful tribute of her track “20-Something” to the late Mac Miller. Domo Genesis also gave a tribute to his “lost brother” Mac Miller performing their collaboration track “Coming Back.” He later played Miller’s “best Day Ever as his closing track while struggling to contain his emotions. Kanye West reminded us that “It’s been a crazy week,” possibly referring to the fire that caused him and plenty of others to evacuate their homes.

When Tyler created his carnival back in 2012 he just wanted to have a party with his friends. When that proved to be difficult for him due to location

he decided to up the idea and make a carnival for himself, friends and fans. 7 years later it has turned into a 2-day music festival, one that people from around the world travel to attend. This festival is known for breaking barriers and giving

people a free space to be themselves. The line up curated by Tyler himself consists of new, old, up and coming as well as classic artists all of which he personally listens to. The festival gives you everything from the perfect Instagram post to an

immaculate musical experience to a fun day at the carnival.

The festival gives you a sense of escapism and a type of post concert depression that lasts weeks. From artists to fans, this is the place everyone wants to be and no one wants to leave.

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Mac Miller Biography Cesar Saldana @cesarsaldana777 In Loving Memory, Mac Miller

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alcolm James McCormick known and loved by fans as Mac Miller, was born Jan 19, 1992 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

He was raised in Pt. Breeze by mother, Karen Meyers a photographer and father, Mark McCormick an architect.

Before he became internationally known as Mac Miller, Malcolm McCormick was just EZ-Mac with the ‘cheesy’ raps.

Mac Miller was always interested in music. He even began to teach himself to play instruments at the early age of six, always dreaming of being a famous singer/songwriter.

Mac Miller attended Winchester Thurston Middle School, before he went to Taylor Allderdice High School in Pittsburgh, where artist ‘Wiz Khalifa’ also attended.

One day while smoking weed with his friends, a beat came on in the background and Miller spit his first ever freestyle. Leaving everyone in the room impressed, including himself. After finding his passion from that day forward, he focused on becoming a famous rapper.

When Mac Miller began making music it was under the alias ‘EZ-MAC’, releasing his first mix-tape ‘But MyMackin Aint Easy’ at the age of 14. At this time he was also part of a rap group named ‘Illspoken’ with fellow Pittsburgh rapper Beedie, together they released ‘How High’ the mix-tape and found relative success while Mac Miller started making a name for himself.

At the age of 15, he became obsessed with making it in the music industry.

Mac Miller told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

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“Once I hit 15, I got real serious about it and it changed my life completely. I use to be into sports, play all of the sports, go to all the high school parties. But once I found out that hip-hop is almost like a job, that’s all I did.”

In 2009, he released another two mix-tapes; ‘The Jukebox: Prelude To Class Clown’ and ‘The High Life’. Already going by the name Mac Miller, he was establishing himself as an artist and record labels were already keeping an eye on Malcolm.

With many major records labels after him, he decided to sign to Rostrum Records later that year.

Already an up and coming rapper in the game, Mac did not take his foot off the gas pedal. In the summer of 2010 he releasedthe mix-tape that changed his life; ‘K.I.D.S’, inspired by the movie ‘Kids’ directed by Larry Clark.

‘K.I.D.S’or Kicking Incredibly Dope Shit, had breakout songs such as NIkes On My Feet, Senior Skip Day, Kool Aid & Frozen Pizza and The Spins.

After releasing the ‘K.I.D.S’ mixtape, Miller went on tour and sold out at every single location.The artist ended the 2010 year winningtwo awards at the Pittsburgh hip-hop awards.

The following year he dropped his fifth mix-tape titled, ‘Best Day Ever’.The project featured several mainstream pro-

ducers, including; Just Blaze, 9th Wonder and Chuck English. It was clear that Mac Miller was a talented songwriter with a bright future. With five mix-tapes and numerous song releases, his fans were anticipating his debut album.

At 19 years-old he delivered ‘Blue Slide Park’, his first studio album on November 8th, of 2011. It sold 144,000 copies its first week and even debuted at the number one spot in the Billboard 200. Which made it the first independently distributed debut to take the number one spot on the Billboard Album Charts since “Tha Dogg Pound”, 1995 release of ‘Dogg Food’.

This led him to be on the cover of 2011 XXL Freshman List, which highlights the best up and coming rappers in the music industry. He graced the cover with fellow rap superstars Kendrick Lamar and Meek Mill.

Making the XXL Freshman list was a big step in the superstars career. Many of the artist who made the team since it’s inauguration in 2009 have gone on to become internationally known recording artists such as, J.Cole, Kid Cudi, Kendrick Lamar, Future, Chance the Rapper, and Lil Uzi Vert.

Although Mac was known for his easy-going personality, his determination, passion, and work ethic led him to achieve all these accolades by the young age of 19.

All the while Malcolm was in a romantic relationship with Nomi Leasure, the two reportedly met in middle school.

However the four year relationship ended in April 2013. Many songs on his EP, ‘Macadellic’ were about Nomi.

In June of 2013, Mac Miller dropped another chart-topping album; ‘Watching MoviesWithThe Sound

Off’. It sound 101,000 copies the first week and debuted at number 3 on the Billboard 200 Chart. Miller’s second album was supported by 3 singles, S.D.S., Watching Movies and Goosebumps.

‘Watching Movies With The Sound Off’ gave Miller an opportunity to stray away from a backpack rapper and experiment outside the boundaries of hip-hop.

This was evident in the production as it included beats with techno based producers Diplo and Flying Lotus. He even ditches rapping for a few songs, and sings two lightwieght love songs in ‘Youforia’ and ‘Objects in the Mirror’. ‘REMember’ is a track where Miller’s opens up about his lose of close friend REM who passed early 2013.

He then went on to headline to The Space Migration tour which included supporting acts, Chance the Rapper, Earl Sweatshirt, Action Bronson, Vince Staples and Meek Mill.

Although, the stress of newly found fame started to affect Mac’s mental health. In attempt to cope with depression he turned to a drug with the street name of “lean”which is a combination of codeine and promethazine.

Mac Miller was open with his drug abuse in his music and interviews and the difficulty he had while under the influence.

Miller once stated in an interview with Larry King,

“I definitely was going through a drug problem, and I think it was more my state of

mind, I was just pretty depressed.”He then continued to state that he started have mental health issues when he became famous.“I think that’s how it started, it’s funny because you talk to people and they say, what do you have to be depressed about? You have money... fame is tricky you read what is said about you, and you know what you know to be true, and the lines start to blur”

a groove jazz type sound. Mac’s fourth studio album peaked at number 2 on the US Billboard 200.

Mac Miller began a romantic relationship with singer, actress Ariana Grande in 2016. They first met when they collaborated on ‘Baby It’s Cold’ then on ‘The Way’ which became a hit in 2013. He then featured on Ariana’s single ‘Into You’ in 2016. Later that year Ariana featured on Mac Miller’s ‘My Favorite Part’. The pair dated officially for 2 years, until May of 2018 when Ariana announced on her Instagram story that they had broken up. Ariana shared on social media that the break-up was due to Mac Miller’s continued drug problems.

“I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they should be, I cared for him and tried to support his sobriety and prayed for his balance for years.”

After running out his contract with Rostrum Records in the beginning of 2014, He announced he signed a deal with Warner Bros. Records for a reported $10 Million. Mac Miller went on to produce three more studio albums with his new label in the upcoming years.

Miller released ‘GO:OD AM’ on September,18 2015.The 17-song album debuted at no. 4 on the Billboard 200 chart along with its singles “Break The Law” and “Clubhouse” On September 16 of 2016, The Divine Feminine was released and featured appearances from Kendrick Lamar, Ty Dolla $ign and Ariana Grande.

Mac, known for his backpack style rap.

Decided to experiment and expand on

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Miller released ‘Swimming’ on August 3, 2018. His fifth studio album and what eventually became his last. Swimming was supported by singles, ‘Self Care’ and ‘What’s the Use’. Mac Miller’s break up with Ariana Grande was a supposed source of inspiration for the album. Rolling Stone called Swimming a continuation of Mac’s third album The Divine Feminine, due to its “alternative LA soul sound’’.

Rolling Stones also labeled it as the ‘most impactful’ of Miller’s career. The album highlights his life experiences, self-love, healing and psychologicalgrowth.

Swimming debuted at number three on the US Billboard 200.

Miller passed away September 7, 2018 in Studio City, California.

Paramedics were called in the early morning hours to his residence in Studio City, California where he was pronounced dead at the scene at 11:51 am, from an apparent overdose. Mac Miller was just 26 years old. He is survived by his parents and an older brother.

Miller left behind a plethora of music, which consisted of 12 mixtapes and 5 studio albums along with dozens of features and collaborations with other artists. Miller was always seen with a smile on

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his face and had nothing but high praises from everyone he knew. He was known for his kind-spirit and his genuine personality. Various artists such as, Kendrick Lamar, Post Malone, Snoop Dogg, Chance the Rapper, Logic, Ariana Grande took to the internet to vent and offer their condolences to his family.

Post Malone wrote on twitter, “God f—king dammit. You were such an incredible person, you changed so many lives. Had so much love in your heart. You inspired me throughout high school, and I wouldn’t be where I was now if it wasn’t for you. Never amore kind and sincereand beautiful person. I f—king love you Mac.” Chance the rapper posted on twitter, “I don’t know what to say Mac Miller took me on my second tour ever. But beyond helping me launch my career he was one of the sweetest guys I ever knew. Great man. I loved him forreal. I’m completely broken. God bless him.”

His family echoed similar sentiments as they released a statement that read, “Malcolm McCormick, known and adored by fans as MacMiller, has tragically passed away at the age of 26. He was a bright light in this world for his family, friends and fans. Thank you for your

prayers.”

A Mac Miller tribute was held on Halloween of 2018. Several star artists preformed such as Travis $cott, Chance the Rapper, Miguel, Schoolboy Q , Vince Staples, and TY Dolla $ign. All proceeds were donated to launch the Mac Miller Circles Fund. Which will provide youth from under-served communities with programming, resources, and opportunities through exploration in the arts and community building.

Mac Miller is sadly no longer with us today, although he will not be forgotten. He made his mark on the world through not only his music, but his laughter, positivity and kind-heart.

Rest in Peace Mac Miller, your music will live on forever! Legends never die.

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