T
his just in: the forecast for Sunday’s Toronto Santa Claus Parade. Be advised that an extremely large mass of floats is expected to appear out of the west on Bloor Street at Christie Pits at around 12:30 p.m. The accumulation will head due east to Avenue Road, at which point it will veer south down to Wellington Street, then work its way back east again all the way to the St. Lawrence Market on Front Street. Given the enormous size and colourful nature of the floats, their visibility will be 100 per cent throughout the festivities. Also expected in the outlook is widespread waving, smiling and occasional giggling from the many participants aboard. This activity will be accompanied by extended “Hi’s” from the performers to an audience that will be prevailingly appreciative. And a special advisory has been issued from
jamie wayne BUT SERIOUSLY Parade Environment Canada for all those in attendance to try and guess who the celebrities are that are dressed up as clowns. There are reports that an isolated cold front is expected on the polar bears on the Zoo Float. There will be expected turbulence in the endlessly long lineups in the fast-food outlets along the route prior to the parade’s kickoff. This will be immediately followed by severe thunder and rumbling emanating from the late arrivals stuck way in the back of the crowds lining the sidewalks on the route. And there will be intermittent showers, courtesy of exuberant merrymakers who have forgotten they were holding hot coffee cups in their hands when the clapping for the floats begins. The good news is that the
expected light to moderate sightings of Rudolph red noses on kids in the audience will quickly brighten everyone’s outlook. In addition, every move during the afternoon will be accompanied by flurries of snapshots, intermittent tweets, scattered texts, assorted Facebook postings and a sprinkling of YouTube uploads and downloads. But of course, the most important prognostication is for the jolly old man of the hour himself, St. Nick. There are no surprises in that forecast, needless to say. It’s always the same. Santa Claus, as usual, will be sunny all day. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to beat the crowd and lock up a primo seat for the parade. In the words of the big guy himself. “Ho, ho, hope to see you all there.” Jamie Wayne is a lifelong columnist, who takes writing very seriously. The topics? Not so much. His column appears every Thursday. Contact him at jamie.wayne@sympatico.ca
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What’s the forecast for parade day?
27 | THE VILLAGER | Thursday, November 14, 2013
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