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EMPATHY Media coverage has made us quite impermeable, and we are ‘used to’ seeing people suffering with natural disasters, starvation, immigration and vulnerable people living on the streets. Individuals are quick to dish out ‘digital abuse’, with an extreme point of view which separates ‘us’ and ‘them’, seemingly becoming the norm.

We chat with singer Alexandra Burke, profile music mogul Simon Cowell and former Olympic cyclistturned-jockey Victoria Pendleton and discover how Dave Asprey hacked his own biology. There’s so much to inspire you, so make this the month you make the changes needed to become the person you really want to be.

It’s only when we see situations such as the recent photograph of a small child lying dead on a beach that we seem to wake up and suddenly want to help others. Is it really difficult to be empathetic? The answer is most definitely no. Take a few minutes to disconnect from your daily routine. Close your eyes and really try and understand what other people are going through. Imagine for a few minutes what they might be feeling, what a day in their life must be like. Think of what you would do to save your loved ones if they were in such a situation. We can all make the world a better place, so let’s not leave it to leaders and politicians to effect change. To be the best you, empathy is essential. This month, The Best You features some truly amazing individuals who have made an enormous difference to their lives and the lives of others. Barbara De Angelis, Jason Vale and Janey Lee Grace are featured ahead of their upcoming appearance at The Best You Exhibition.

Bernardo Moya, Editor-in-chief Follow me: @Bernardo_Moya

To enjoy additional digital content, video and online galleries, download The Best You app at


Exclusive bonus shots on iPad, iPhone and Android devices

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Bernardo Moya welcomes you to this month’s issue of The Best You

How to become a contributor to The Best You



The Royal National Institute of Blind People’s (RNIB) campaign to raise awareness about sight loss



A few of our favourite recently published books – plus your chance to win some great reads



Where to find the best coaches, trainers and practitioners



How did the A&R man make it big in the music industry?



Inspiring meat-free meals


Back on the road with live dates and theatre performances



Driven to achieve in not just one, but two sports



Introducing The Best You’s new columnist, Janey Lee Grace



Renowned transformational teacher Barbara De Angelis helps you to live in the moment and find happiness


The great and the good of vegetarianism



With so much of what we read in the papers being negative, The Best You brings you some good news




Have you reserved your place at this autumn’s most inspirational events?

22 SIMON COWELL The man who reinvented the talent show

EDITOR/PUBLISHER Bernardo Moya DEPUTY EDITOR Daska Davis ASSOCIATE EDITORS Cynthia Phillips and Gail Kingsbury ADVERTISING advertising@thebestyou.co


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Emily Davison refuses to let impaired vision affect her studies and creativity as a writer, blogger and vlogstar



TV’s parenting expert Sue Atkins addresses the fallout from the Beckhams’ recent ‘dummygate’ moment



Jim Aitkins says self-belief is key to success



…to be a perfumer? The Best You chats with Lizzie Ostrom, author of Perfume: A Century of Scents


55 LIQUID LEGEND Jason Vale is the juice master



Dr Pam Spurr offers her advice on getting your libido back on track without the need for medication



Meet The Self-Esteem Team, an invincible trio working hard to boost the confidence of teenagers



Jason Vale shares his health and nutrition advice


Dave Asprey hacked his own biology to boost his healh, lose weight and increase his IQ


Tony Morris shares his tips to boost your business growth



The Best You brings together the world’s leading personal development speakers and brands in 2016



The Best You looks at people, past and present, who worked hard for their moment in the spotlight







COFFEE BOOSTER Bulletproof guy Dave Asprey


VLOGGERS MAKING A DIFFERENCE The Best You recognises vlogstars doing good


Bryan Szabo reviews the latest gadgets

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is deputy editor at The Best You. This issue she interviews Lizzie Ostrom and Grace Barrett of the Self-Esteem Team. “Each month I am inspired by our interviewees and this month is no exception. Turning a passion into an innovative career, Lizzie Ostrom and Grace Barrett both represent a new breed of lifestyle-led business women.”



is a parenting expert, writer, speaker, broadcaster and coach, as well as the author of the Amazon best-selling books Parenting Made Easy – How to Raise Happy Children and Raising Happy Children for Dummies, as well as the author of the highly acclaimed Parenting Made Easy MP3s and CDs and workbooks and The Secrets To Well Behaved Kids.



is one of the most influential teachers of our time in the field of personal and spiritual development. For the past 35 years, she has reached tens of millions of people throughout the world with her inspirational messages about how to create a life of true freedom, mastery and awakening.

is a Canadian-born freelance editor and writer who specialises in helping authors realise their full potential as writers. He believes that everybody has a story that should be told. His appearance on the acknowledgement page of dozens of titles proves that the voice he is helping budding authors to find is a precious thing indeed.





is an American author. He speaks and trains for corporations and organisations on the topics that he also writes about. He believes that personal growth is not only easier than most people think, but can be fun as well. Visit Jim’s blog at

obstacleblaster. com


writes a sex and love advice column for The Sun and appears on television programmes including This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Loose Women and Sky News as an agony aunt and social commentator. She is patron of Kids in the Middle, a charity which advises parents who are breaking up on how to help their children during separation.


is a spokesperson for the organic and natural health world. She is known to over 8m listeners daily via BBC Radio 2, and is the founder of janeyleegrace.com, a consumer website recommending the best in the natural, organic and eco world. She is author of five best-selling books, including two Amazon #1s.


– aka ‘Juice Master’ – is the best-selling author of 11 books on health, addiction and juicing. His most well known book – 7lbs In 7 days: The Juice Master Diet – knocked The Da Vinci Code from the top spot. Jason is on a mission to ‘Juice The World’ and help people to turn their health around using natural means.



www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co

is a Portsmouthbased author who is also an NLP master. He uses skills learned from hypnotist Paul McKenna and NLP co-creator Richard Bandler in his work. For The Best You, he writes about Simon Cowell and Victoria Pendleton.



The Best You is published by The Best You Corporation Ltd, 5 Percy Street, W1T 1DG. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect The Best You Corporation Ltd, policy. The Best You Corporation Ltd accepts no responsibility for views expressed by its contributors. Advertisements and reader offers are not endorsed by The Best You or The Best You Corporation Ltd.




generated more than £8m of business for companies over 15 years before setting up Sales Doctor to offer sales training. He has a regular column in the Business Connections section of the London Evening Standard and Greater Manchester Business Week Magazine among others and has written a book on sales training tips, Coffee’s for Closers.



THE BEST YOU’S STARS? Would you like to be part of the UK’s leading personal development magazine? Here’s your chance to share your story of success

At The Best You, we are passionate about helping people to reach their goals and achieve their full potential. Each month, we bring you inspiring interviews and articles from individuals who are living life to the full and realising their dreams through personal development and following their path to success.

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Are you a writer, blogger or vlogstar? Now it’s your chance to share your story with The Best You. We are looking to publish articles within the magazine and at our digital channel, thebestyoumagazine.co, plus your videos on The Best You TV channels. Additionally, each month we will be focusing on an area of personal development, and we would like to share your tips for success with The Best You’s audience. Tell us your: • • • • • •

Coaching tips Mindfulness ideas Weight-loss solutions How you tackle phobias Ways to boost your self-esteem Finding a partner and making your relationship sparkle

In addition to having your article published and the opportunity to share your story with those who are actively seeking personal development advice, we will pay for every published article and video.

To find out more and how to upload your content, visit

thebestyoumagazine.co/ become-a-contributor

So, get your thinking cap on and tell us about how you’ve become the Best You.

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Be Inspired

Inside the holistic star’s world


START TODAY! Barbara De Angelis’ advice

Connect with the wonderful, special and powerful inside. Learn ways to get your mind and body in balance, bringing out the rich core of your being. Discover the secrets that will enable you to take charge of your inner life and become The Best You.

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AGE IS JUST A NUMBER How old are you? You’re right it’s none of my business and I hope you won’t ask me either. Ever since my dim and distant past in the music biz I have refused to give my age (I was once told by a not-to-be-identified-but-now-hugely-famous music mogul that I was ‘over the hill’ at 28). I remember Madonna once saying,

“Why is my age relevant? I’m not a vintage car – or a cheese!” It was great to hear Dr Christiane Northrup, whose new book is Goddesses Never Age, speak recently and her top tip is to stop celebrating milestone birthdays (after 25) and refuse to be defined by the label of age. She believes that getting older is inevitable but ageing is optional. By stating our age we are putting ourselves in a box. In the US, at least, many more people are reaching the grand age of 100. The event I saw Christiane speak at was the Hay House ‘I can do it’ event – the founder of that publishing company is Louise Hay and she is still going strong at 87. Last year she just started learning to play the piano! Christiane suggests when someone asks you your age, look them in the eye and say… ’What’s your real question?’


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A MAGICAL STOCKING FILLER Over the next few months I will be sharing some great recommendations for natural and organic skincare and beauty products, but right now I’m feeling just downright ‘bling’ with the launch of a remarkable range of high quality classic nail varnishes, The Nail Enchantment Law of Attraction range. The creator, Easy Detox expert Amanda Nelson, wanted to create a range that was Detox Approved Skincare and 5-free ingredients, meaning they don’t contain the usual suspects such as: Toluene Di-butyl Phthalate Formaldehyde Camphor Formaldehyde Resin What’s really kooky is that each bottle includes a preprogrammed quartz diamond which turns the liquid varnish into a ‘crystal elixir.’ Amanda believes that The Law of Attraction states, ‘Like attracts like’ so we can invoke this universal law with every stroke of varnish applied! Great names too: Sincerely grateful, Infinitely blessed, Fabulously abundant, Magnetically connected and Passionately loved. Natural magic at your fingertips! If you’re doing the Christmas shopping early it’s the perfect stocking filler.

Shop online at authenticmermaid.com


LOVES... The Best You welcomes Janey Lee Grace as a columnist with a regular roundup of the latest products, ideas and innovations catching her eye this month

TIME TO FERMENT It won’t have escaped your notice that celebs, cool chefs and the great and the good are talking kefir. No that’s not a strange language, it’s the ‘wonder drink’ of fermented milk (usually cow or goat) that’s full of fantastic ‘good’ bacteria that can give you a health boost – especially for gut health, and we all know the importance of the gut, indeed it’s our ‘second brain’. Talking about it more than most is Shann Nix Jones, a former San Francisco radio talk show host who moved to Wales, fell in love with a Welsh goat farmer, and learned to run his goat farm by the sea. After goat’s milk cured her son’s asthma and eczema, Shann found herself fighting to save her husband’s life from a superbug infection, using only kefir and essential oils. Her diaries have now been turned into an Amazon #1 Best Seller,

Secrets from Chuckling Goat: (Hay House). Kefir (pronounced kefeer) from either the Arabic ‘keyf’ (joy and pleasure) or the Turkic ‘kopur’ (milk) is a fermented drink that originated with shepherds of the North Caucasus region. Kefir is a natural probiotic drink, it contains live, active, growing, living cultures of very strong strains of normal flora, powerful enough to overtake harmful organisms – a feat that yoghurt can’t match. Kefir made with raw goat’s milk is the most powerful – and the most widely tolerated – of all fermented milk probiotics. It’s also a great alternative to probiotic capsules! For hand-made kefir using real grains (not powdered sachets, which is much less powerful) and raw goat’s milk, delivered to your door, try chucklinggoat.co.uk. There’s also a range of probiotic skincare – remember, you’re your face from within!



I’m so thrilled to be asked to speak at The Best You Exhibition. I can see I am in great company alongside Jason Vale, Sir Clive Woodward and Gill Fielding. I love these kind of events where you can make some great connections and be re-inspired all over again to literally be the best you! I look forward to meeting you there, I’ll be speaking about how to get clarity on your USP and how to use it to attract PR and media attention for the work that you do. See you there! TURN TO PAGE 62 TO READ MORE ABOUT THE BEST YOU EXHIBITION.

Dr Barbara De Angelis asks if you are looking for happiness in the right places


DO YOU KNOW HOW TO BE HERE NOW? If you’ve been on a path of self-exploration and personal growth, you’ve probably heard the popular spiritual saying, ‘Be here now’ which was introduced by the great Western-born yogi Ram Dass in 1971. Recently someone sent me an e-mail containing this humorous take-off on the phrase: ‘Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?’ Of course, the answer is: ‘No, it isn’t actually complicated, but it’s also not so easy.’ In spite of the desire many of us share to live a mindful, conscious life and to experience our own personal version of everyday ‘nirvana’, (the Sanskrit term for perfect peace and happiness) the truth is that more often than not, fully inhabiting the present moment without being haunted by the past or worrying about the future isn’t a simple task. The first problem is the ‘now’ portion of ‘be here now’. Simply put, most of us aren’t so good at ‘now’. We live during a time and in a culture where we’re conditioned to want to do more, have more, and be more. We set goals for our relationships, our careers, our bodies, and our consciousness, intent on improving ourselves so that


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the efforts we make today will create more success and fulfillment for us tomorrow. Even the concept of wanting to be ‘better’ can make us feel that somehow, we aren’t enough right now, and have to wait until an unnamed future time when we will finally be truly OK. Nothing’s wrong with setting goals, but when we spend our lives focused on preparing for the future, we can easily slip into the habit of postponing happiness, and forget how to fully enjoy the present. We become experts at preparing to live, but often have a difficult time fully enjoying the process of being alive right now, and being present with whatever is happening.

Are you fully here, in this moment, reading this sentence? Are you kind of reading but also anxious about something, or thinking about what you should eat for dinner, or wondering whether or not you should confront your partner about a conversation that upset you, or reading and texting at the same time? Most of us aren’t very good at giving all of our attention to whatever activity we’re involved in.


Dr Barbara DeAngelis is one of the most rewnoned and influential teachers of our time in the field of personal and spiritual transformation, and the author of 15 best-selling books including four #1 NY Times bestsellers. As a renowned speaker and TV personality for over three decades, she’s helped tens of millions of people live more conscious and fulfilling lives. She has starred in her own television shows on CNN, CBS, PBS, was the creator of an awardwinning infomercial, and has been a frequent guest on Oprah, The Today Show, and Good Morning America. Dr De Angelis is known for being an eloquent and charismatic speaker, and teaches popular seminars and online courses helping people transform themselves from the inside out. Her most recent internationally best-selling book is Soul Shifts. Transformative Wisdom for Creating a Life of Authentic Awakening, Emotional Freedom and Practical Spirituality.

barbaradeangelis.com Facebook: drbarbaradeangelis

Come and see Barbara at THE BEST YOU EXHIBITION on 27-28 Februrary. Book your tickets at thebestyouexhibition.com/ tickets

We’re partially here, but also somewhere else. It’s no wonder, then, that experiencing joy and fulfillment in the ‘now’ is difficult when we spend so much time NOT being here now!

Even when we do succeed at bringing our attention fully into the present moment, we often miss simple joys, ordinary miracles, and everyday delights because we make the mistake of looking for something flashy that qualifies as a true spiritual experience. This is one of the most common ways I see people sabotage their happiness and peace of mind – believing

that legitimate spiritual attainment must include continual experiences of outrageousness. The result is we can get so distracted by our search for the extraordinary that we don’t even recognise the sacred when we encounter it! I‘ve had extraordinary peak experiences in my life. But if I had to pinpoint the occasions on which I felt my truest peace and my deepest contentment, they would not be those one-of-a-kind high occurrences. Instead, they would be simple moments of sweetness and delight, quiet moments of subtle miracles: standing together with the person I love silently watching a sunset; lying in bed with my little dogs devotedly pressed up against me so I can feel the rhythm of their breathing; listening to nature’s spectacular music of wind, or rain, or birds; the invigorating smell of the ocean; the sweet taste of the first fruits of summer; the feel of the warm sun on my skin. This realisation of what it actually means to ‘be here now’ can be a life-changing soul shift for you: everyday spirituality is not an escape from your usual life in search of some special, divine experience, but a surrender into the fullness of every experience. It isn’t about only focusing on practices that lead you away from your human existence to the spiritual, but rather learning how to lead yourself back into the ordinary and everyday, and find the exalted in it. Each day that you are alive, you are being showered by an abundance of extraordinary gifts and priceless blessings. Anytime you forget this, talk to someone who has just a few days left to live. He or she will tell you that each day you are here is reason enough for rejoicing. I’ve spent my life being a seeker, and teaching and guiding other seekers. But what, after all, are we seeking? What is your true destination on your human journey? It is nowhere but here, and no time but now. It is in this moment alone that you can find yourself and experience peace and delight. Why? because there’s never anything else but this moment, and then another ‘this’ moment. The Sanskrit meaning of the word ‘Buddha’ is ‘awakened.’ The Buddha was enlightened because he was fully awake. This is a new understanding of what it means to be wise – not to know, but simply to be aware; not to be certain, but to simply be awake right here, right now, with whatever is taking place. Here’s the great news:

To experience everyday Nirvana, everyday bliss, and everyday spirituality, you don’t have to be living a perfect life. You don’t have to be someone with no faults or issues. All you need to do is to pay attention to the abundance of everyday miracles all around you. They are everywhere, reminding you that you already have everything you need to feel blessed.

NEW DATES ANNOUNCED FOR NEXT YEAR: LICENSED PRACTITIONER of NLP With Richard Bandler & John La Valle 9th - 15th May 2016

LICENSED MASTER PRACTITIONER of NLP With Richard Bandler, John & Kathleen La Valle 7th - 15th May 2016

SECRETS OF HYPNOSIS With Richard Bandler & Paul McKenna 21st - 22nd May 2016

VEGGIE HEROES Inspiring you to eat veg

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News to make you feel good

LISTEN UP! The Inspiring Talks series

Laughter, humour, travel, love – these are the things that add the sparkle that makes life worth living. Climb a mountain, give to others, start a family, embrace life. What are the things you wish you had done but haven’t yet? Life is no rehearsal – enjoy life every day.

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VEGETARIANS Ahead of this month’s World Vegetarian Day, we take a look at the individuals who inspire us to embrace meat-free munching


JOHN HARVEY KELLOGG, MD The US doctor and health food pioneer was definitely ahead of his time and gave us far more than the staple cereal the world tucks into each morning. Despite some eccentric beliefs, Kellogg felt meat did our digestive systems no favours, saying: “Meat, on the average, requires two or three times as long for digestion as do fruits and farinaceous foodstuffs such as apples, rice… Boiled rice digests in one hour; roast pork requires five and a half hours.”


PAUL MCCARTNEY Macca tops our list for his well-stated views on vegetarianism, having converted – along with his first wife, Linda – in the mid-70s. He’s spoken about the moment when the couple sat eating a roast dinner and looked out of the window to see lambs running around a field:

“The penny dropped. The light bulb lit up. We thought, we might just give this up.” With his famous offspring also ardent campaigners for meat-free Mondays (and the rest of the week), the McCartneys are our vegetarian heroes.

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There are so many ways that we are inspired by Gandhi, but he was also influential in the evolution of the vegetarian movement in London. He wrote a book, The Moral Basis of Vegetarianism, and believed that it was integral to becoming a pure, non-violent individual, later describing vivisection as, “the blackest of all the blackest crimes”. Gandhi travelled with his own goat, so he could always have fresh milk, and followed a fruitarian diet for five years, later returning to vegetarianism after developing pleurisy.




The former US President arrived at the White House with what has been described as a ‘legendary appetite’, with a love of hamburgers, steak, chicken enchiladas and doughnuts. Yet, four years after he left office, he underwent a quadruple bypass, later commenting, “I essentially concluded that I had played Russian roulette” with his diet. Now vegan, Clinton has transformed his diet and lost 20lbs with clean eating.


PETER CUSHING Forget the bloodthirsty roles that he played on screen, Peter Cushing was a patron of the Vegetarian Society from 1987 until his death, describing ‘wholemeal toast with butter and Olde English Marmalade, served with a pot of Typhoo tea with milk and sugar’ as his favourite recipe. Despite being steeped in blood and gore for much of his working life, Cushing also had a passion for bird watching and painting water colours.


JEREMY CORBYN The new Labour Party leader has been a vegetarian since the age of 20, after a period working on a pig farm. A long-time campaigner on animal rights, earlier this year he called for a ban on the importation of foie gras into the UK.



October sees the Wear Dots, Raise Lots for RNIB campaign

Can you imagine what is must be like to be told that you’re losing your sight and you don’t have anyone to help you through those initial stages of fear, uncertainty and bewilderment? In the next 15 minutes someone in the UK will start to lose their sight but fewer than one in three hospitals offer support to people at the point when they are told they are losing their vision. RNIB (Royal National Institute of Blind) is here for everyone affected by sight loss whether it’s advice on staying in work, or everyday technology, to emotional support from someone who’s been there, we help people face the future with confidence.

Sight loss advisers help by explaining what is happening when people have been newly diagnosed with sight loss and can put them in touch with key services. Sight loss advisers also work with people to stop them losing their sight, by talking through treatment and helping them understand their medication.

The campaign is inspired by the revolutionary communication system for blind people of raised dots developed by Louis Braille. We need your help to get involved in fun activities involving dots – whether it’s wearing a polka dot dress, shirt, blouse or tie to work, or perhaps baking a dotty cake or having a dots themed tea party, even playing a dotty game like dominos or Twister – so that funds can be raised to train and provide more sight loss advisors.

Visit www.rnib.org.uk/ weardots or call 0845 345 0054 for lots more ideas and tips to get started and to register for your free fundraising pack.

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Every 15 minutes someone in the UK begins to lose their sight Half of all sight loss in the UK is preventable Almost two million people in the UK are living with sight loss



GOOD NEWS ON TRACK By now we’re all feeling fitter thanks to our health tracking devices, but how about your canine pal? Buddy, an Australian prototype smart dog collar aims to improve your dog’s wellbeing too, with a device that incorporates LED lighting for better visibility, and tracks calorie consumption and movement to identify if your pet needs more exercise. With this in mind, we’re envisaging boot camp for dogs in 2016. Buy it here www.squeakerdogs.com/products/squeakerbuddy-light-up-gps-dog-collar-fitness-tracker

MIND THE GAP We’ve long championed tech that protects two-wheeled riders, and the C3FT is a US device that uses sonar to evaluate a safe three-foot zone around cyclists. Initially used by police forces in the States, where the protection zone is mandatory and infringements punishable by prosecution, the idea could be rolled out to help reduce cycle accidents globally.

BRIGHT IDEA Before SAD sets in this winter, arm yourself with one of the clever ideas used to boost indoor light and protect us with a daily dose of vitamin D. Developed in Italy, Luci is a solar powered, portable white globe which uses an algorithm, to continuously redirect sunlight into the home. Internal mirrors redirect light to the ceiling which in turn illuminates the room. Find out more at mpowerd.com

BOOK IN We love the approach of Scotland’s independent book store, The Open Book, which is inviting guests at its Airbnb accommodation to volunteer to work in-store as they stay. Priced £22 per night, guests get to play shop keeper with a working holiday over a minimum six-night break, and to become part of the community as they visit. Book online at airbnb.co.uk/rooms/7908227

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TALKS Live in London

Royal Institute of British Architects

7th October 2015 The Best You Inspiring Talks ​ is a multimedia experience aimed at providing you with compelling content to motivate, inspire, empower and enrich your life and lifestyle

Through our​​magazine​, ​video interviews and seminars we provide inspirational stories, that allow you to see and hear how successful people think, communicate and react. ​ he Best You Inspiring Talks will offer you​a T wide variety of topics​. O ​ ur panel of experts will discuss how and why some people are successful and provide you with an insight into what drives success. Our talks are designed to enrich your way of thinking about life. We are passionate about being leaders in the sphere of personal improvement. We believe that by learning from the success of others we can improve ourselves and we aim to inspire you to be become the best you can be.


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UPCOMING DATES: 4 November 2015, Museum of London

Speakers: Laurence McCahill, Paul Connolly, Paul Boross and Brian Mayne

2 December 2015, Museum of London

Speakers: Vlatka Hlupic, Hari Kalymnios, Alexandra Watson and Nigel Botterill

6 January 2016, Royal Institute of British Architects, London

Speakers: Jessica Huie, Rachel Kelly, Pete Wilkinson and Gill Fielding

For more information or to book visit thebestyouseminars.co or call +44 (0) 20 7927 6500


‘International Speaker’


BARBARA DE ANGELIS ‘International Speaker’

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The Seven Proven Secrets Of Success That Make Millions At Poker – How to develop your beautiful mind Elite Mind Coach Dr Stephen Simpson shares his seven proven secrets of success that ignited poker legends such as Chris Moorman as they won millions. These secrets work equally well in sport, business and your personal life. It is guaranteed that you will leave the room with at least one success strategy that you can use immediately.


Identifying your best strategies For many, Dr Richard Bandler is the co-creator of NLP and the originator of Personal Development. NLP is the study of successful people and over the years Richard has modelled many of the most brilliant minds. In his talk he will explain the importance of understanding our strategies and thought process.


A crash course in how to run your mind for phenomenal success Having worked with people at the top of their game for over 25 years, Marisa is going to teach you how to implement the thought processes that guarantee you success in every area of your life. She offers a crash course in exactly how your mind works while showing you just three things you can implement that make your mind work for you so that you get what you want from life.


”The purpose of my talk is to share my own experiences with you and my story of how I went from being homeless to becoming a multi-millionaire. At 19 I was sleeping rough on the streets, there were occasions when I didn’t have money for any food. I was begging lorry drivers for the chips off their plate in a transport café, and I’ll never forget the kindness of some of those people who actually bought me a meal because they realised my predicament at that time. I have never forgotten their kindness; it’s made me into the social entrepreneur that I am today and I love to help others whenever I can.”




Simon Cowell is famous for his ability to say it as it is, sometimes with a degree of devastating humour and often with no frills at all. Many would say it has made him a fortune. But straight-talking is only a small part of the many skills that he uses in his business life. Born in 1959 in Brighton, Cowell grew up the favoured son of his mother Josie (aka Julie), a dancer, actress and socialite, and father, Eric, a handsome and successful estate agent and quantity surveyor. His parents had four children between them from previous marriages and Simon and his younger brother, Nicholas, grew up in a lively, loving environment. Perhaps that love was the stronger because Julie miscarried twice before she finally gave birth to Simon. He grew up indulged and adored, first in Lambeth, London, and soon in Elstree, Hertforshire, where they moved soon after Simon’s birth. Early on, Simon was surrounded by fame. Internationally renowned stars could be seen arriving in luxury cars at Elstree’s film studios. The Cowells’ house stood on five acres of private woodland, next to the home of Gerry Blatner, head of Warner Brothers Films, UK. Young Simon even sat on Bette Davis’s knee as she learned her script, and watched Roger Moore filming The Saint. It is impossible to say whether his loving and warm home life made him so willing to express his opinions without fear, or whether he was simply born strongly individualistic. As a child he commented to his mother when she asked what he thought of her outfit that she looked “like a poodle”, or, later “like a canary”. He also expressed strong opinions about music – even taking a screwdriver to one of his mother’s favourite albums. Nevertheless, his father and mother were supportive, perhaps to the extent of indulgence. Their child grew up mischievous, opinionated and high-spirited. He hated school, with its discipline and conformity. “I was always bored at school,” he recalls. “I didn’t like the rules and I didn’t like the discipline.” Told that these were the best days of his life, he considered jumping off a bridge. He was expelled from Radlet Prep School and sent to boarding school at Dover College. From here, too, he was occasionally suspended. When he was 12, he was arrested for hi-jacking a bus at gunpoint (the ‘gun’ was in fact a pea-shooter toy, but the driver didn’t know that), and later as a teenager joyrode a car from Elstree Studios, which he crashed.

With his acerbic comments and impervious thick skin, Simon Cowell has masterminded one of the world’s leading entertainment shows, amassing a £300m wealth and international stardom for himself and his talented mentees. We look at the life and career of Cowell and ask, is he really Mr Nasty?

Imaginative and mischievous, he found ways to play tricks on his mother and family, posting adverts for ‘French Lessons’ in the local Post Office and listening to his mother field calls from undesirable men who thought they offered more personal services. At a wedding, he pushed the bridesmaid in the swimming pool, got the groom’s dog drunk and rearranged the table plan so he sat at the high table. Cowell had energy and passion, but no outlet. He was intelligent, but needed to find a way to use that intelligence. Only one thing interested him: “Money. As much money as I can get my hands on,” was what he wanted. Learning to use a bunsen burner in a chemistry lesson would not take him there, he realised, and he left school with two ‘O’ levels, in English and English literature, and later an additional one in sociology.

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His father lined him up for various jobs, including labouring (he lasted two hours), the Civil Service (he insulted his interviewer and was described as the least suitable candidate they’d ever had) and a Tesco worker (he traded insults with the manager). He finally got work, first at Elstree Studios as a runner, and then at the place that would see the start of his long rise to fame: the massive record company, EMI.

His job was to identify songs from EMI’s US catalogue and match them to British artists. He had a flair for it and built an extensive knowledge of the music world. He had confidence and belief in his own taste and became an unrivalled authority.

On meeting with A&R men from other labels, he within weeks tied nearly 20 songs with artists. This discernment, this ability to see potential is his greatest skill. Moving to Fanfare Records, Cowell met up with 15-yearold Sinitta Malone, aka Sinitta. He recognised her ability and was convinced a new song So Macho would be a hit. Then he was told by his boss he was closing down the recording side of the business. Cowell used all his charm and persuasiveness to keep the division open long enough for him to launch the record. On a budget of £5,000, with Cowell working under extreme pressure, he brought in a £1m return. Cowell could make hits happen.


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Charm and determination were also needed in wooing producer Pete Waterman, of Stock, Aitken and Waterman fame. Cowell saw in Waterman a man with extraordinary experience from whom he could learn. Yet, Waterman would not work with Cowell or Sinitta. For two years, Cowell shadowed the older man, unpaid, doggedly watching and learning. Eventually, Waterman relented, and Toy Boy was released with Waterman on the team. It was another massive hit. Throughout the 80s and 90s, Cowell identified and exploited opportunities. Seeing the massive influence of television, he approached the WWF, and for its huge US TV audience, produced the album Slam Jam. Filled with tracks by famous wrestlers, it sold 1.5m copies. Other TV tie-ins included albums by Roland Rat, Robson and Jerome and even the Teletubbies. Then came further bands, including Five and Westlife, the latter being introduced to Cowell by producer Louis Walsh. In each case, Cowell showed his winning ability to identify opportunities, find the magic ingredient and make them really work. This is the background to the man who went on to be called ‘Mr Nasty’ by the British press. He got the name from appearances on his TV show, Pop Idol. The show’s history was interesting. Cowell had declined to appear on another show called Popstar but later realised it was a fantastic idea. Cowell, along with Pete Waterman approached Nigel Lythgoe – the deviser of Popstar and offered to make a refined version of the show. Lythgoe agreed, and the rest was history. Cowell’s refinement to the series was to bring in a more judgmental, straight-talking panel of judges. He’d already been told that the straight-talking arguments he had with Pete Waterman made great entertainment – but he also demanded straight-talking with the hopefuls who auditioned. Some auditions were also broadcast, and the disbelief of some reject hopefuls made for addictive


car-crash viewing. Then, the growing intensity of the rivalry between judges and their protégés set the TV world alight. But most memorable of all were Cowell’s dismissive comments. Finding new ways to tell people they couldn’t sing was his forte, a skill finely honed. Hence the sobriquet, ‘Mr Nasty’. But there is far more to Simon Cowell than harsh words spoken under the studio lights. His skills come from a powerful combination of self-belief, instinctive discernment and an ability to see opportunities that others don’t as was the case with Sinitta and Roland Rat. He is deeply dedicated and competitive and feels it badly when he misses an opportunity. Just so when he passed up The Spice Girls, and they were signed by a rival. But he learns from his mistakes and moves on again. Indeed, in the 1980s, during the stock market crash, he lost a fortune in shares. He was forced to move back home with his mum and dad. Yet he took the setback on the chin and rebuilt from there. It’s true that he had a secure home to go to, which meant that he could afford to fail and start again – but his home life gave him a resilience that has given him great strength

throughout his life. Is he really ‘Mr Nasty’? The question really speaks for itself. Simon Cowell has too many friends in the business to be simply a two-dimensional ogre. Even to those he has attacked on screen, he is charming when he meets them again.

He is nasty in the way a pantomime devil is nasty. But when the greasepaint comes off, there stands revealed a far more interesting, intelligent and driven man.

To read more about Simon Cowell visit thebestyoumagazine.co

The X Factor 2015 judges (left to right): Nick Grimshaw, Rita Ora, Cheryl Fernandez-Versini and Simon Cowell





When she was a little girl, Alexandra Burke believed she owned Alexandra Palace. Her mum would take her there from their home in Islington to roll down the hill at weekends, announcing, “We’ll visit Alexandra Palace as it’s all yours!” For a kid from a working class family who shared her school friends’ lunch so she could save the £2 a day dinner money to give back to her mum, it was a way to think big. Maybe that’s what helped the girl from the council house find success. Today, she tells me in that unaffected, refreshing way, her mum is still her number one inspiration, as she has been for a long time. When Alexandra was nine, she saw her mum singing on Top of the Pops with the band Soul II Soul. She decided there and then to follow in her footsteps. Her mother encouraged her to follow her dreams and they nearly came true surprisingly early, thanks to Stevie Wonder. “I met Stevie through my mum when I was 12 years old. He wanted to sign me then but my mum didn’t think it was such a good idea at the time. I was in school and of course very, very young,” she laughs. “I think she was definitely right.” Since then she has matured into a fabulous performer. At 12 she was the youngest contestant on television show Star For A Night, a runner-up to eventual winner, Joss Stone. At 16, she was shortlisted for The X Factor but was rejected by Louis Walsh. She went away after that blow only to return for series five, a stronger and more accomplished singer with a whole new attitude after taking singing lessons. Her musical inspirations, she tells me, were and still are Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knight, Dionne Warwick, Stylistics, Temptations. “I’m very old school at heart when it comes to music,” she confides. After the nerve-wracking competition, she went on to win the finals in 2008, following on from Leona Lewis’ fantastic win the previous year. Her first single, Hallelujah became the European record-holder for fastestselling single, shifting 105,000 units in the first 24 hours, beating Leona Lewis’ record.

With an outstanding musical heritage, X-Factor winner Alexandra Burke has enjoyed international success as a singer. Bernardo Moya catches up with the star

Now, seven years on, she has had a string of tours, hit singles and albums to her name, has been involved in two #1 charity singles. She went on to play the role of Rachel Marron in the West End and touring versions of The Bodyguard and has a personal fortune estimated at £8m. Though these are extraordinary achievements, they’re not what she rates as the most important things in her life. Perhaps remembering the ups and downs of her mother’s career as a singer, she remains humble about her experience. “I’m the kind of girl that doesn’t take a day for granted,” she tells me.

“For me achievement, any achievement, is massive because I’m a girl that’s just come from Islington. I left school at 15 and all of a sudden I had a career at 19. So, I think for me happiness is my biggest achievement. You know happiness doesn’t come from money or materialistic things.”

Burke understands well that fame is a fickle master and she takes nothing for granted. When she was a girl, her mum had to live on benefits to make ends meet at times. At others, Alexandra looked after the family while her mother toured. “I like to keep my feet firmly on the ground and make sure that I look after my family,” she tells me. “I think that’s my biggest achievement...

To find out more about Alexandra Burke visit thebestyoumagazine.co

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making sure that I’m happy regardless of what ups and downs come my way throughout my career.” Her straightforward modesty also shines through when I ask about her charity work. Before she went on The X-Factor she toured with Young Voices, a group dedicated to helping children with leukaemia. In 2008, she sang on Hero, a charity single supporting Help for Heroes and The Royal British Legion. In 2010 she sang on Everybody Hurts, released for the Haitian disaster fund, and flew to Haiti twice to support relief efforts. She is also involved in working for the animal charity, PETA. It’s quite a list, I tell her. “I just think it’s good to give back,” she smiles. “For me I’m a girl that, you know, didn’t get everything handed to me on a silver platter.” Her work means she has “a voice”, she tells me. “I don’t mean a singing voice. I mean a voice that sometimes when I speak it makes the papers. Why not use it in a good way, instead of using what you’ve been given to be coming out of a club drunk or doing silly things like that?” She adds, “I just think it’s responsible of me to do that.” Her advice for others who want success is inspirational.


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“My motto is never give up and always chase your dreams. I got told at 16 I wasn’t good enough to compete in The X-Factor. Three years later I won the show.”

Along the way she admits she had her tantrums, but she has always stuck to her dream and continued working towards her vision of success. “I’ve always had a positive outlook on life and have never, ever lost that, regardless of wherever my career has gone.” She is, she says with disarming honesty, grateful to be living her dream. “I’m a very spiritual person. I believe in God and I give it all to him, so to me why not give thanks? Why not smile? Why not walk around with a big-toothed smile on your face? Because it’s infectious! Somebody else might catch onto it and it might make their day.”


Her current role, starring in The Bodyguard, she acknowledges is hard work but also rewarding.

I put out it’s from the heart and from the soul and people can actually hear that I can sing.”

“Repeating six shows a week is definitely difficult but at the same time it’s a lot of fun because what I remember is that the audience are never the same... You wanna give them the best you can possibly give every single night.”

And beyond that? How would she like to be remembered?

She also talks excitedly about her first gig in several years, with her own band at The Jazz Café. “I think for me it’s such a huge, huge thing to be able to appear there because it’s one of my dream places to perform and I can tick it off my bucket list.” For the future, she wants to act more. “I’ve got the bug for it now and, it’s something I used to do when I was much younger but never had the opportunity to really express how much I loved it. After The Bodyguard, I really want to take on another West End show, depending on what’s out there.” And will there be more singing? She assures me there most definitely will be. “I haven’t reached my peak yet because I’m only 27 so to me I just want to make sure that whatever music

“You know, one day when God decides to take me from this earth I just want people to remember me as a bubbly, young person. That I just loved to sing and my outlook on life was always positive and I always wanted to put smiles on people’s faces. That’s all that matters to me – to see people smile and see people happy. Because life is too short to be sad.”


With a promising second placing in her first ride as an amateur jockey, The Best You looks at the career of former Olympic Gold cyclist Victoria Pendleton as she gears up for new challenges

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Victoria Pendleton’s story is a great example of how great talent sometimes needs very special handling. Born in Stotfold, Bedforshire in 1980, Vicky was the daughter of Max Pendleton, a former British national grass track cycling champion and his wife Pauline, a kind and supportive mum.

She sought relief from her internal torment by cutting herself with a knife. The cutting of her arms giving her a sense of control over her life which calmed her for a while, and took away the distress she felt. “I did not want to kill myself,” she reflects on that dark time. “I just wanted to feel something different”.

From early on, she was desperate for approval and affection from a father who was distant and undemonstrative of affection. It was why she cycled with her father every week.

It was thanks to the wisdom of team counsellors British team psychiatrist Steve Peters and coach Mark Simpson who helped her turn this around, getting behind their own ‘Team Pendleton’. She recalls:

“I just wanted Dad to love me, and be proud of me,” she says, seeing herself as “the little girl trying desperately to stay in sight of her dad, pedalling up a hill until it seemed her heart might burst.” She was also a sensitive child: “We were waifs and strays, the misfits left loitering far from the cool kids,” she remembers. One of the ‘weird’ kids who was more interested in learning or working than looking cool. In her early teens she developed rituals of repeatedly washing her hands to bring herself comfort, something her no-nonsense father put a stop to, early on. Her sensitivity generated guilt if things weren’t right at home. She sacrificed simple teenage activities to keep her dad happy, for example abandoning weekend trips to the cinema after succumbing to his emotional blackmail; opting instead to chase him along rainwashed roads on her bike – and as she grew older, succeeding in catching him. Her emotional commitment paid off. She won amateur road races and in 1996 came to the attention of Marshal Thomas of the British national track cycling team. She continued her education while training, becoming a full-time cyclist in 2001. She was part of the extraordinary British cycling explosion, her peers including Bradley Wiggins and Chris Hoy, but she never felt good enough. In a sporting world dominated by an aggressive and masculine attitude, she was a lone female cyclist in a group of boys. Her self-esteem and need for approval left her full of doubt, even though she had started to place well at World Cups and World Championships. She remembers the British coach Martin Brabant was prejudiced against her because she was a slight-framed ‘girly’ girl whom he didn’t believe could win. On the first day they met he told her, “Miss Victoria, I’m going to find you very annoying.” For her, “he might as well have slapped me in the face,” she says, and his later disdain for her “cut to the core”. After showing great early promise she was placed with Swiss coach Frédéric Magné. His punishing regimen and harsh near-mechanistic style might have suited some, but punishing regimes cycling through the winter-bound Swiss Alps, sometimes at -12°C left her more unhappy, even though physically she was growing stronger.

“Stable, consistent and emotionally sensitive, Steve Peters and Mark Simpson gave me hope that I could make it, on my terms, in a harshly thrusting and male-dominated environment. I was not, after all, alone.”

Emotion drove her, and she made use of it. When she was nearly ridden off the track by rival Anna Meares, she swore revenge by winning against her fairly and squarely. She chose to show the likes of Magné and Brabant and other critics that she could succeed on her own terms, not theirs. She lined up every part of her emotional life to create a powerful internal narrative for success. It worked. Her cycling career includes two Olympic Golds and a Silver, as well as nine World Championship Golds, a Commonwealth Games Gold and two European Championship Golds, among others. Victoria retired from cycling in 2012. She went on to help design bikes for Halfords’ Pendleton-branded series of cycles, was brand ambassador for Panténe and appeared in TV shows Emmerdale and Strictly Come Dancing. Then, in 2015, she swapped the saddle for... the saddle. In March she announced her intention to become a jockey, intending to compete at the Foxhunter Chase at the 2016 Cheltenham Festival. Her competitive debut in August 2015 saw her finish second in the Betfair Novice Flat Amateur Riders’ Handicap at Ripon Racecourse. Victoria’s story is a powerful account of how great talent sometimes needs great skill and care to be allowed to shine. The psychological environment for a sensitive soul must be right, too. Now, with her darkness far behind her, we at The Best You wish her every success.

This month we are giving away a wide range of fantastic books. If you’d like to be in with a chance of winning , simply email your name and contact details to prizegiveaways@thebestyou.co with the name of the prize you would like to win in the subject title before 31 October 2015*

123 WAYS TO LOOK AT LIFE BY BERNARDO MOYA In his first book, 123 Ways To Look At Life, Bernardo Moya explores a variety of different emotional perspectives that will guide you towards the best version of yourself. 123 inspiring quotes and thoughts will help you to rediscover and reinvent yourself, starting at the very roots of your weaknesses or concerns. This book will inspire you, make you think and help you to grow.


We have one copy of 123 Ways to Look at Life to give away.


At last, we can say the word love at work. We can acknowledge what has been true all along: love is what works at work. Love has been just outside the office door for centuries. We have heard its knock, but we have said, not here. Some enlightened leaders have recently moved to, ‘not yet’. But finally, Nigel Cutts has said, ‘now’. In this book, he has opened the door. He has done this because love is what produces results. People perform best when they are loved: when they are respected, when they can soar because of who they are their experience, their talents, their capacity, their intelligence is cherished. We all know this. Now we can stop believing the nonsense. We can stop putting off putting love on the top of the list of required expertise in leaders.



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We have one copy of Love at work to give away.


One entry per household. Entry implies acceptance of rules and conditions.
No purchase necessary. Open to all UK residents aged 18 years or over, other than employees of The Best You and companies associated with it.
Draw will be conducted by The Best You Corporation. Prize is as stated and will be awarded to the entry drawn at random on the draw date. No cash alternative is available. No correspondence will be entered into. Delayed entries will be deemed invalid. Winners’ names may be published and the winners may be required to participate in publicity. Promoter: The Best You Corporation.

HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF (AND SOMETIMES OTHER PEOPLE) BY LODRO RINZLER AND MEGGAN WATTERSON Are you trying to find love – and beginning to suspect you’re not looking in the right place? This wise, hip guide gives you a new map for the journey to happiness in relationships of all kinds, starting in your own heart. Told from the alternating vantage points of authors Meggan Watterson and Lodro Rinzler, How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People) reminds us that love isn’t something we have to earn. All of us are deeply and intrinsically worthy of love – not only the love we hope to receive from others, but the love we give to ourselves – and this book offers the insight and practical tools we need to stay firmly grounded in self-love as we ride out the natural (and often stormy) cycles of relationships.


We have one copy of How to love yourself to give away.

CONVERSATIONS WITH HISTORY BY SUSAN LANDER We followed the ups and downs of their lives in the media. We know about their mistakes, their struggles, and their joys. But have you ever wondered how celebrities and public figures would reflect on their lives since they passed? In an unprecedented reading experience, Conversations with History sheds some light.


We have one copy of Conversations with History to give away.

Need some inspired thinking? Enter our lucky dip and we’ll send one winner a book from The Best You’s bookshelf.

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BOOK Be Inspired


With the power to entertain, enrich and empower your life, books are as important today as they have been for millennia. Here’s what’s catching our eye at The Best You this month…

SUPER READ With this month’s release of the twentyfourth James Bond film, Spectre, our love for the secret agent shows no sign of abating, and along with it our keenness for collecting 007 memorabilia. A recent report says that first-edition Ian Fleming books have risen significantly in value, with one issue of Casino Royale more than doubling in value from £22k to £50k in just over a decade. Only 250 copies of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service were signed, making

it highly prized and valued, so keep your eyes open next time you spot a collection of second-hand novels.

‘You only live twice. Once when you are born and once when you look death in the face.’ – You Only Live Twice, Ian Fleming




There are moments in our lives when we know that we’re poised on the threshold of greatness, of purpose, of true fulfillment and real happiness, but we don’t seem to be moving forward as rapidly as we want to – and staying where we are is no longer acceptable or comfortable. How we have been living, working, and loving just isn’t enough anymore. We are being called to something more significant, something more authentic, something more expanded and exalted. In these pivotal moments, what is needed is not simply change, but profound transformation – not simply an adjustment in our outer life, but a repositioning from the inside out. We are ready for Soul Shifts.

“Every page brims with highly specific suggestions for shifting to a more enlightened way of being. I love this book, and I absolutely love this woman” – Dr Wayne W. Dyer

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Look Great Naturally... without ditching the lipstick is the most upto-date guide to a perfectly natural transformation in your beauty regime and your lifestyle. Revised and updated to include all of the latest information on diet, the best sources for natural products and guidance on ethical fashion.

”Janey Lee Grace has put herself on the front line of sensible and pragmatic planet saving advice. Anyone who wants to do their bit should start here” – Matthew Wright, The Wright Stuff


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When his excess fat started causing brain fog, and food cravings sapped his energy and willpower, Asprey turned to the same hacking techniques that made his fortune to ‘hack’ his own biology, investing more than $300,000 and 15 years to uncover what was hindering his energy, performance, appearance, and happiness. The result? The Bulletproof Diet, an anti-inflammatory programme for hunger-free, rapid weight loss and peak performance.

”Dave Asprey will make you question everything you thought you knew about nutrition and health” – Mark Hyman, MD, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Blood Sugar Solution

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The Self-Esteem Team’s daring guide answers the questions young people cannot face asking their parents, aren’t sure if they’re allowed to ask their teachers and definitely shouldn’t Google. Debunking urban myths and tackling the awkward dilemmas today’s teens struggle with, this book is honest, funny and compassionate.

“Exactly what the UK is crying out for!” – Gok Wan


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CREATIVE STRENGTH A fashion blog with a twist

Be Inspired



Are pacifiers a good idea?

SCENT TRACKER The history of great perfumes

What do you want to be remembered for? What are your relationships like with those around you? How does life treat you‌ and how do you treat your life? There is so much good in you. Enrich your life with the passion you feel and the connections you make.

Put your company in this space! To sponsor this page and be part of The Best You, email us at advertising@thebestyou.co w w w .thebestyo um a ga z ine.co


IN FASHION Emily Davison is helping visually impaired people with style advice through her blog fashioneyesta.com, just as RNIB has helped her

A glamourous, beautiful, confident young fashion blogger is not remarkable in a digital age where several million are posting daily style advice, but Emily Davison’s blog is written with a different perspective from the rest. Fashioneyesta.com is a lifestyle blog for people with sight loss that aims to bridge the gap between fashion and disability to change people’s perceptions. Currently studying for an MA in children’s literature at Goldsmiths University, Davison, 21, was inspired as a girl by Hollywood’s golden era and the style of film stars such as Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly. Despite being born with septo optic dysplasia, which affects her optic nerves and has left her with no


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sight in her right eye and ten per cent central vision in her left, Davison refuses to allow disability to hinder her love of fashion. Her site offers style advice on make-up, clothes and challenges stereotypical images of unfashionable visually impaired people. “The media has hypodermically projected an image that visually impaired people are aloof characters, sporting an anorak and dark glasses,” says Davison. “This is a grossly unfair characterisation and must to combated. Fashioneyesta.com serves to present visually impaired people with the tools, the skills and knowledge of fashion, beauty and style to enable them to use their remaining senses to gauge the world of fashion and to create their own unique style.”


Supported by family and friends, including correspondent, Thomas Ankin, who offers male product reviews and perspective features, fashioneyesta.com offers practical and emotional advice. With ambitions to study further for a PhD and become a children’s author with a series of books that debunk disability, plus a workshop programme for kids, which does the same, Davison is destined for great things. In recent years, she has been supported by the RNIB, particularly throughout her education.

“RNIB has helped me in a lot of ways,” says Davison. “In particular, its amazing Talking Books service has helped me read the literature I love.

“It has also been able to give me advice on sight loss and the equipment available to help me – from special sports goggles when I was younger to downloading books for my studies. “I use the advice team a lot and find them really supportive. I work as a fashion correspondent on RNIB’s Insight Radio and the charity has promoted my blog and encouraged my work as a writer and journalist.” Davison has also been featured on BBC4’s In Touch radio and BBC’s Ouch Disability and her blog has been praised for its friendly advice.

Find out more at fashioneyesta.com

“The main thing that I aim to do is to aid people with the right tools in order for visually impaired people not to feel as if society perceives them as being frumpy due to their sight loss. My advice to others is always remember to be daring and don’t conform to what society expects you to be.”

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POWER I’ve had a busy month, and I made headlines in The Mirror, discussing the photo of David Beckham’s daughter, Harper, sucking a dummy at the age of four. Instead of focusing on the fantastically happy family photo of David Beckham having enormous fun with his 16-year-old son Brooklyn and 4-year-old Harper, the media has gone mad, judging the Beckhams’ parenting. Dummies, cuddly blankets, soft toys or thumbs are some of the comforters (or pacifiers, or attachment objects) that help children relax when they are little. Sucking is pleasant and calming for babies. Sucking or holding comforters helps very young children to feel safe when they are not with their parents or other family members, until they are old enough to feel OK and confident by themselves. Of course not all children have comforters or need them. Often children who sleep near their parents or a sibling at night, and who are cared for during the day by a parent or other close family member, seem less likely to need a comforter or dummy. But they are very important for the


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children who do use them. So try not to be cavalier in your approach if you decide that your little one needs to give it up. Sometimes I suggest that parents introduce a teddy or a toy instead of letting a little one constantly suckle if you’re breastfeeding as your little one may be using your breast for comfort rather than food. But it’s a better idea to ask your child which toy or comforter they want because it’s not about you – it’s about them! It has to be something that is special for your child. Dummies, thumb sucking and blankets often have a special meaning for babies and for young children. Your child develops a need for the object to feel safe when perhaps they are alone, like at bedtime, so they develop a strong attachment to their chosen comforter to help them ease their stress or anxiety. The object is a reminder of the special close times that little ones have with you and it becomes a

replacement for that closeness. They are a kind of bridge to help your child move from the safety of being with you to the big, wide world around them.

Children usually have a strong need for the object at times of stress or change or separation, such as bedtime or when in child care, and studies have found that comforters help children to deal better with times of stress or anxiety. The comforter can also sometimes help your child to express their emotions. Children can fight, cuddle or be angry with their teddy, dummy or blanket.

In her new column for The Best You, parenting expert Sue Atkins considers the rights and wrongs of letting your child use a pacifier, in the aftermath of #DummyGate Sue Atkins is an internationally recognised parenting expert, broadcaster, speaker and author of the Amazon best-selling books Parenting Made Easy – How To Raise Happy Children and Raising Happy Children for Dummies. She regularly appears on ITV’s This Morning, BBC Breakfast and The Jeremy Vine Show on BBC Radio 2. To receive her free e-books with practical tips and helpful advice from toddler to teen, log on to theSueAtkins.com As your child gets older and they are able to feel more secure inside themselves and they begin to feel more confident, the need for their comforter reduces and it will gradually not be needed so often. But I remind the parents that I work with that it’s important for your child to have control over this. So work together to start weaning your child off their dummy, blanket or toy. Many babies get attached to a special toy or other comforter at about six months of age (although they may have it before). From around eight months, the need for the comforter may be strong, especially at times when your baby isn’t with you, such as at bedtime. If the comforter is a blanket or soft toy, remember it is safest to take it out of the cot when your baby is asleep if your baby is under 12 months old. I was interviewed by LBC radio about Harper Beckham still having a dummy at four, and an eminent dentist reassured everyone that dummies really don’t damage the development of a child’s teeth. Yet a friend of mine, Priya Desai,

is a speech therapist and she is worried that a child could develop a lisp if they use a dummy too much and for too long. Children are usually ready to give them up by 3-4 years of age – at least in the daytime. If a child still clings to the comforter by school age, it is important to ask what it is that is making your child worried, rather than to abruptly take the comforter away. Although they may still want their comforter while they are there, they might not want the other children to know. In this case, sometimes a dummy or piece of blanket can be pinned hidden in a pocket so your little one can touch it when they feel anxious or need reassurance. Sometimes children will not take a comforter but instead use their thumbs or fingers. I was a thumb sucker and liked to twirl my Mum’s rather coarse hair as a little one so I know first hand about this one. Thumbs and fingers are harder to give up than dummies or other

comforters because they are there all the time. Past the age of three, thumb and finger sucking may cause dental problems. If this is happening for your child, you could think about whether their life is stressful, or whether this is a habit. Also talk to a dentist about it. Telling your child to stop this minute, is not usually very helpful. Many children go on sucking their thumbs into their teens, although this is something they tend to only do when they are concentrating on something or are tired, and is not really a problem unless they are embarrassed by it. I hope this helps – it’s not about finger pointing or judging but helping families grow happy, healthy, resilient, confident children with strong self esteem and whilst I know it may be crazy that my advice is on the front page of The Mirror, it got the nation thinking!

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Jim Aitkins is adamant that focus and continued effort create the best results

Perhaps the best advice I ever received: Don’t stop. Churchill made famous the phrase, “Never give up!” But when I say, ‘Don’t stop’, I am not referring to the importance of persevering. Though being determined, unrelenting and persistent are all exceedingly important, I’m going to ask you to focus on something even more important.

‘owned’ it very quickly. We were able to shift her focus away from not being cheated on and, instead, train her to focus upon what she really wanted:

And focus certainly is key.


When I coach people on this topic, one question I always ask is, ‘What do you want?’ In one phone consultation with a woman in her late sixties, I asked her this simple question and she immediately said that she wants to stop getting cheated on. Gulp. There’s a lot of pain in that desire. I asked, “What else do you want?” She finally said, “I want lots of things, but wanting to not be cheated on any more is my main focus”. I asked, “Are you sure that is your main focus?” She said yes. “The truth,” I said, “is that you either really do want to be cheated on because there’s some payoff in it for you, or you are confused as to what you really want.”

To be someone whose strengths are attractive to an equally strong, quality individual A lasting relationship To invite openness by being more open than she has been in the past By being very clear in her own heart and mind about what she really wanted, she began to make very clear – without ever having to say it out loud – what she would never again tolerate in a relationship. Once she got into the habit of cultivating those things – the things she really does want more of – she didn’t need me anymore! How do you stop doing what doesn’t work? Find out what you want. Focus on that. Act on that. And don’t stop. •

Don’t stop thinking about what you want more of

I went on to explain to her that when I asked her what she wants, she identified something that she says she does not want. She even clarified, insisting that not getting cheated on is her main focus.

Don’t stop doing what you know works

Don’t stop practising the habits (behaviours that you repeat) that promote the results you want

Don’t stop cultivating what you do want

Thinking about what you want to get rid of instead of what you want more of means you will continue to get more of the things you say you want to get rid of, including a repeat of the same relationship calamities that occupy the centre of your attention.

Don’t stop expecting things to get better as your focus shifts toward what you want more of

Don’t stop asking those you trust to hold you accountable to the change(s) you commit to

And don’t stop rising when you fall (this is where Winston Churchill comes in)

The secret to turning things around is to get clear on what you really want. And then don’t stop pursuing it. Focus on what you want, not what you do not want. The coaching client I described above really got this and

Do all the above… and then keep doing all the above. Don’t stop.

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Scent-lover Lizzie Ostrom, aka ‘Odette Toilette’ is an expert on all things perfume and author of A Century of Scents in 100 Perfumes. Here she shares her knowledge of the fragrance industry and what goes into making a memorable scent






I was just your average perfume fan, albeit slightly more into the stuff than most women. A few years ago, I started hosting evening events about scent because I thought: there are so many ways we can talk about fragrance and olfaction, yet often we don’t quite know where to start.

Traditionally, and to a large extent this is still the case, becoming a perfumer is a gruelling process, requiring the flexing of the mathematical mind as much as the creative impulse.

Since then I’ve organised a good few hundred events on all sorts of themes, whether that’s the Ancient Greeks and scent, or the history of men’s style through fragrance. I’ve organised perfume poker nights where we turn fragrance-making into a betting process, and recreated historic rituals live, including Japanese incense ceremonies and Aztec copal-burning. I then started being asked to speak about perfume and produce olfactory installations and exhibits, and that led to my book. Rather than being a perfumer or industry veteran, I’m very much coming at this from the point of view of the consumer of fragrance, and making the subject accessible, fun and creative. WHAT IS IT THAT FASCINATES YOU ABOUT PERFUME? I love that perfume can tell so many different stories. You’ve got the collective memories and nostalgia that latch onto particular scents–- whether that’s layering on Obsession in the 1980s before a hot date, or a remembered love of Brut – and which can act as a sort of key for people to talk about their personal history and identity. I love that perfume, both the product itself and how we talk about it, can help us understand the trends, fashions and taboos of a particular culture or era. And of course the technical stories of what’s in the bottle and how they changed the way we smelt. Most importantly: perfume is such a crucial part of self-expression and it’s a privilege to be able to bring such beauty to everyday life. If you let it work its magic.

It’s horrendously competitive to get into the prestigious perfumery schools in France, and the training lasts for years, involving identification of many raw materials at various concentrations both in isolation, and when incorporated with other ingredients into accords. They then need to understand how molecules perform in different applications, the conventions of the craft and of course navigate the maze of regulation and safety. Many go on to work, not just in fine fragrance, but in functional products. There is a small, but increasing group of perfumers who are either self-taught, or who have learned outside of traditional educational structures, and their path has been made more possible through the internet: both being able to get hold of small quantities of raw materials, and sharing knowledge with others in online communities. They’re energising the industry though at the same time there’s sometimes a bit of friction between the traditional and non-orthodox camps. YOUR NEW BOOK, PERFUME: A CENTURY OF SCENT, EXPLORES 100 PERFUMES – WHAT’S THE MOST MEMORABLE STORY AND WHY? It’s so hard to choose. To me the most memorable are the surreal stories. I think my favourite is the story of Black Satin, which was a mass market women’s fragrance released in the 1940s by two American enterpreneurs who completely ripped the perfume rule book apart with their brand, Angelique. They were complete chancers and used to stage these PR stunts like releasing perfumed ‘bombs’, snow and bubbles over US cities, and caused no end of intrigue and upset. At the time they caused a huge stir but now they, and Black Satin, are completely obscure. I keep waiting for a brand to announce they’re going to tip scented snow over New York or Paris!

WHAT DEFINES A GREAT PERFUME? Originality? Distinctiveness? Controversy? Very few perfumes manage this. And they might be seen as ‘great’ when they first come out, but then if everyone starts wearing it, the scent evokes so strongly of a particular era or style, that it dates within a decade and seems seriously ‘past it’.

To me the ones that get in the hall of fame weren’t necessarily the most strikingly novel, but they managed to create and reinforce a mythology that generations of women and men collectively willed into being and fell in love with. And then when all the other similar perfumes from that era faded away, they came to stand for a particular style.

I’d say Guerlain’s 1925 oriental Shalimar is a great example of this. It slowly accrued such legend that the fragrance itself – so inviting and unfastened, with that lean-close smoked vanilla – took on this extra mantle of glamour. It still sells really well in France, that one. I should confess though that perhaps against my better judgement, Shalimar didn’t make the final cut in the book as one of the 100!

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OCTOBER 17TH & 18TH 2015 WEST SUSSEX An exclusive, intimate retreat to help you cope better with your break-up or divorce Expert break-up and divorce coach Sara Davison will show you how to: • Get back in control of your emotions • Regain your confi dence and self-esteem • Learn how to feel better right now • Master how to forgive and let go • Create you personalised Action Plan to keep you moving forward Tickets are £599 including VAT. Early bird offer is £499 including VAT if you book before 18th September 2015. BOOK NOW: WWW.SARADAVISON.COM

Come and meet Sara Davison at the Best of You Exhibition 27th/28th Feb 2016

IN THE MOOD How to get your groove back

Be Inspired



Boosting teen confidence

SHAKE IT UP Juice master Jason Vale

Feeling good about yourself has a hugely positive impact on your appearance, persona and the response you ignite in others. Explore new ways to enhance the impression you make and enjoy the benefits of a positive self-image.

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If you sometimes feel that your sex life is not what you’d like it to be, you’re not alone, says Dr Pam Spurr


NATURALLY A recent survey found that many women are lacking the sex drive they desire. In fact, eight in every ten women admit that they have experienced a loss or lack of sex drive at some point in their lives. Busy lifestyles can leave us feeling tired and stress can also have an effect on our emotional and physical wellbeing. Life stages such as the menopause and childbirth can have an impact on our libido too. As a self-help expert, life coach and agony aunt, I regularly talk to people who are experiencing challenges in their relationships and sex often comes up. Here’s how to recapture the romance in your relationship and boost your libido naturally.

As well as eating foods that boost desire, there are now natural supplements that can help. Natural desire booster Lady Prelox combines plant extracts and amino acids found naturally in our bodies. The natural ingredients work together to improve blood flow and reduce tiredness and fatigue, giving women the natural desire boost they may need and also increasing sexual pleasure. Pharma Nord’s Omega 7, which is derived from the sea buckthorn berry, can also help with intimate dryness, experienced by 42 per cent of women at some point in their lives, and making sex uncomfortable.



The right nutrition has a huge impact on your general health and wellbeing and so it’s no surprise that eating foods that are good for you should help your sex life too. Does a 3pm energy slump sound familiar? You need to get more whole grains in your diet. Try eating nuts, cereals and brown rice as they deliver slow-release energy, keeping you fuller for longer too. They are also packed with B vitamins, which are important for energy production. Avoid sugary snacks as they will lead to energy highs and lows throughout the day. Foods such as oats, leafy green vegetables, oily fish, adding spices like ginger and chilli to dishes and dark chocolate have also been shown to have libido enhancing qualities.



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As stress and tiredness are often the reasons for a dwindling desire for sex, it’s important to take some time out for you. Try a new hobby such as yoga or pilates to relax and unwind. Go for a short walk after work to clear your head. When you return home you should feel reenergised and the worries of the day will be left behind. Exercise also releases mood-enhancing hormones so you may feel happier and sexier too!



Try to avoid a sense of routine when it comes to your sex life. While it can be difficult to be spontaneous if you have a busy schedule, take small steps to bring some excitement into your week. Do you struggle to stay awake past 9pm and climb into bed, sleepy-eyed every evening? Well sex at this time is unlikely to work for you. Try surprising your partner when you get home from work. Or get close to each other first thing in the morning when you’re more refreshed. If you have been together some time, it’s likely you will have found what you think is the ’perfect formula’ for sex but remember to try something new once and a while. Also lead by your behaviour, bring back some of the flirting from your early days. And re-boot the romance between you with loving compliments, little gifts and creating extra time together.


In the survey, one third of women said that comparing themselves to others has affected their state of wellbeing. We regularly hear stories of women enjoying their sex lives, leaving us with the idea that everyone has a more exciting sex life than us! Almost two thirds of women will suffer from some form of sexual challenge during their lifetime. If this is you, remember you’re not alone. Sexual challenges are not spoken about enough and there will be many women in your situation.

Remember to also explore other underlying causes for lack of sexual desire like potential medical issues, healing rows with your partner, or taking steps to get rid of excess stress in your life. If you have any concern that a medical issue is underlying the lack of desire, do see your GP.

Dr Pam can be found at drpam.co.uk or @drpamspurr on Twitter.

To test your libido visit ladyprelox.co.uk.

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SPIRIT How do I know if I’m healthy? What’s it like to take drugs? Is everyone having sex? Being a teen can be a bewildering journey of self-discovery, but the Self-Esteem Team helps young adults tackle the tough stuff. Daska Davis chats with member Grace Barrett about the team’s new Zoella-endorsed book 52

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and body image, Barrett is ‘the body’ championing the link between physical and mental health, and Mendoza is ‘the soul’, focused on mental health and individuality.

Navigating the teen years can be one of the toughest periods of life, with friendships, peer pressure, hormonal changes, plus a wealth of Google horror tale ‘advice’ to cope with.

“Natasha developed an eating disorder at university and at 25 felt she had no job, friends or money. Despite being an A* student, she recognised that all the grades in the world don’t prepare you for life. Initially she wanted to do a PSHE class but felt that these just tell you the story but don’t give you the answers.

Globally, research has shown that teen mental health can be pivotal to adult health and wellbeing. Confidence and self-esteem are key to coping, but it takes more than a quick pep talk from parents or teachers to achieve a positive state of mind.

For example, when we talk about exam stress, we explain how the brain works but we also offer three or four tricks to apply in real life to cope better.”

Cue the Self-Esteem Team, founded by journalist, campaigner and author Natasha Devon MBE who, having recovered from an eating disorder during her late teens, was inspired to create award-winning body image and mental health classes.

It’s often said that today’s teens are under more pressure than ever before, but does the Self-Esteem Team really believe this? “I think so,” says Barrett.

Subsequently she recruited musician Grace Barrett and Nadia Mendoza to join her in talking within schools to help young people with their self-esteem. To date, the trio has worked with more than 50,000 teenagers, using its collective expertise to tackle body confidence and self-harming, issues that both Barrett and Mendoza respectively experienced as teenagers.

“The last generation that faced this level of seismic change was in the 60s. Today’s landscape is so different. When I was at university, facebook didn’t exist. As teens we all have body hangups, but the first time someone posts a picture of you on the internet can be awful, and we’re all hanging on how many ‘likes’ we get to bolster our self-esteem.”

Now it is set to reach a wider audience with the release of a new book, The Self-Esteem Team’s Guide to Sex, Drugs & WTFs?!!, which answers a range of subjects in an honest, funny and compassionate dialogue, with responses from each of the team. It’s the natural extension of the group’s work which has been described by Gok Wan as, ‘Exactly what the UK is crying out for!’ “We’ve been together for a couple of years,” says Barrett who was plagued with eczema and acne while growing up, but now advises teens on simple, affordable ways to look after their bodies and minds. “Natasha came to review one of my gigs and says it was a thunderbolt moment when she saw me on stage. We got to know each other and she invited me to join her in the Self-Esteem Team, and although our upbringing was very different we had both faced confidence issues growing up. “After we started to work with Nadia, we began to deliver a wider range of topics based on our personal experiences and we gradually began to develop our individual roles. When we were writing too, we quickly found our own voices in the book.”

While the team covers a wide range of topics, the issue that is central to most is mental health. “We get a lot of ‘I don’t feel right’ responses in sessions,” says Barrett. “There are techniques that can help. It’s about getting used to recognising how you feel. If the environment you’re in is not right, we suggest envisaging somewhere that does – whether that’s real of imaginary. Who are you with? Where are you? Then it’s about building a bridge to get there.”

Devon is seen as ‘the mind’ of the group, regularly appearing on Sky News, This Morning and BBC Breakfast to comment on education, mental health

Grace Barrett

Natasha Devon

Nadia Mendoza

The Self-Esteem Team’s Guide to Sex, Drugs & WTFs?!! Is published by John Blake Publishing. To find out more visit www.selfesteemteam.org


In the first of a series of articles, Jason shares his recipe of the month

HOT ‘N’ REDDY: Ingredients: 1 raw beetroot 1/4 pink grapefruit (peeled) 1 large orange (peeled) 1 small handful strawberries 1 pear 1/2 red chilli (seeds removed) 1 small handful ice Instructions: Peel the grapefruit and the orange, removing the skin but leaving the pith on. Remove the seeds from the chilli. If you are using a fast (centrifugal) juicer, first juice the orange. Then with the machine off, place the pear into the chute. Pack the strawberries, chilli and grapefruit in behind and pop the beetroot on top. Turn the juicer on and push everything through. If you are using a slow (masticating/cold press) juicer you can simply push everything through slowly. Once all is juiced, simply pour over ice and enjoy!

So what is in this baby?


We are delighted to announce that best-selling health and nutrition author Jason Vale, aka the ’Juice Master’, is set to speak at THE BEST YOU EXHIBITION

Combining the snap of citrus with the coolness of the beetroot and pear; offset against the sumptuous sweetness of strawberries and hot-headed chilli creates the Hot ‘n’ Reddy infusion, a true taste sensation! The humble little raspberry contain a very rich source of vitamin C and dietary fibre; alongside a moderate amount of vitamin K, which is essential in building strong bones. Raspberries also contain a large quantity of manganese, which helps with the absorption of calcium, regulation of blood sugar levels and metabolism.

Extract from the latest book 5:2 Juice Diet from ‘Juice Master’ Jason Vale

BIO HACKER Tweaking your biology

Be Inspired



Why you really can sell

THE BEST YOU SHOW 2016’s unmissable event

Building your career or business can bring both financial reward and personal growth in every aspect of your life. Seek out advice and support to ensure your success today and for the future.

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Exclusive content and shots on iPad, iPhone and Android devices

Find out more about Dave Asprey’s Bulletproof method and hear his podcasts at bulletproofexec.com


Dave Asprey, founder of Bulletproof Coffee, enhances people’s performance through biohacking – simple changes to your food, thinking and exercise that help you lose weight and find peak performance. Dave spent $300,000 on experimenting on himself with biohacks from around the world and combined the best into the Bulletproof philosophy. His special blend of coffee is formulated to enhance brainpower, but, Asprey tells The Best You, there’s far more to Bulletproof than beverages

When I was 12 years old I read an article about venture capital and thought it was the coolest thing. I was already fat. I had autoimmune conditions like arthritis in my knees at 14. By my mid-20s I was becoming a successful businessperson but I didn’t feel good most of the time. I bought disability insurance in my mid20s, just because I felt like I was working as hard as I could and could barely keep it together. So, I started looking around and saying: maybe it wasn’t me, maybe it was the environment I was in or the techniques I was using. That motivated me to understand biohacking – how to change things, do things that worked and measure what worked. I took what worked and applied it to my own biology. I found I could lose half the weight I needed to lose just by modifying what I ate. I stopped eating gluten and cut down on sugar. Even though I was still eating the same number of calories, suddenly my body composition shifted and my personality changed. I thought, ”Wow, this is big!” Eventually, I became president and then chairman of an anti-aging research group called the Silicone Valley Health Institute. I was learning from all these world experts who’d studied not just how biology works, but what you do with biology to make people younger, stronger and faster. I realised the things that

help rejuvenate people when they’re 70 years old also have profound performance effects on people who are 25 or 35. I started doing those things for myself, and found I really did perform better and think better. When you rewire your body, you get more energy, you get more willpower – that’s the biggest benefit. When you’re done with getting more energy and more willpower that way, you get into rewiring your mind. You change thought patterns, things that happen so automatically you don’t think about them. Then, when you go into an environment that would have previously caused a stress response, it doesn’t cause any positive or negative response. You have full awareness of the situation and you can choose how to respond, instead of unconsciously reacting. That’s the whole idea of biohacking in a nutshell. You change the environment outside yourself, inside yourself and change your biology. My main goal is to give service to other people. I do this because I can remember what it was like when I was 16, and I had to keep buying bigger pants. I got stretch marks when I was 16! I really couldn’t pay attention, because I was eating foods that would turn my brain off.

I look back at how much I struggled and I look at how unnecessary that was. And I realise that every time I share some of this amazing knowledge, a lot of which people just don’t know about, I look back and say: how many people who are in the same situation I was and who am I helping today?

There are so many people out there trying to sell a bunch of stuff, and that’s one of the reasons I give away my concepts. You don’t have to buy anything from me, and the concept stands by itself. You might also want to try some of this coffee, because it works. But I communicate the content in a meaningful way so people can say: alright, this content is real. Bulletproof has just raised $9m through venture capital funding. We opened our first coffee shop in Santa Monica and are extending the number of products that we have to help people. We’re also expanding our international footprint to make it easier for people globally to get a hold of Bulletproof stuff. Bulletproof Radio, the podcast, is now #1 ranked in health and fitness most of the time, and we just signed a new distribution agreement, which should increase the number of listeners - there are 16m downloads we’ve had so far. Our first documentary, Mouldy, has just come out, talking about indoor environmental mould, and how that’s affecting people’s quality of life, and they just don’t know it. You know, not so long ago I got a photograph from a family saying, “Dave, here’s a picture of us 60 days ago, and here’s a picture of us now.” The family had two teenagers and two adults, and they’d handwritten this card for me with their photo. In the first picture their daughter was clearly obese – and I know what it’s like to be an obese teenager, it completely sucks! The next picture was of her two months later. Her skin was clear and she was normal body weight. That motivates me. I spent 10 years solving that problem, and she did it in 60 days from the knowledge I’m giving away for free.

That’s why I started doing this, because it’s not necessary to suffer and go through all that work I did. That’s Bulletproof, for you!




Being able to ‘sell’ is key to business success, but what if you’re not a natural? Sales doctor Tony Morris offers his top tips to close a deal

1. People often hear the word ’sell’ and panic and think of all the negative connotations that they don’t wish to be associated with – pushy, annoying, aggressive... My first tip is to change the words ‘try to sell’ to ’help people buy’. The person you are targeting should be the right audience for your product or service, otherwise you need to refocus your attention on the right person. Therefore, you are not selling to anybody; you are helping them buy from you.

3. People like to talk, particularly about themselves. They may wish to talk about their business, family and hobbies. So if we can get them talking, they’re comfortable. If they’re comfortable they’ll like us, and if they like us they are more likely to buy from us. The art of getting people talking is all about asking them open questions and most importantly listening to their response. We have two ears and one mouth and we need to remember to use it the right way around.

2. There’s a well-known saying in sales, ’people buy people first’. I agree but would go further, adding ‘like them’. We gravitate towards people like ourselves, so my objective is to be like a chameleon and mould my behaviour around the people I speak to or meet. As an extrovert, I find the most challenging people to connect with and build rapport with are analytical introverts. I’m fully aware that I need to tone down my outgoing bubbly behaviour as it will make them feel uncomfortable and on edge, which of course is the last thing I want to do.

4. It’s been said that most sales people give up after three or four attempts and buyers take 10 to 11 ‘touch points’ before making a decision; this could be a combination of phone calls, texts and emails. This is one major reason for sales people failing, a lack of perseverance and tenacity. Therefore my fourth tip is to not give up. This doesn’t mean keep calling and being a pest, it means keep calling and giving value and change your approach to try different things.

The challenge is to be aware of the various behaviours and mirror what you see.

5. In my years of networking I have learned that everybody knows 1,000 people. So if the person you’re speaking with isn’t necessarily right for your product or services, then who do they know? The majority of sales people don’t ask as they feel it’s desperate or pushy, however if you have built a good rapport and they like and trust you, then why wouldn’t they try and help you?

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Live in London /ExCeL 27th - 28th February 2016

If you would like to exhibit or speak at the event email louise.dockery@thebestyou.co or call +44 (0) 203 011 0874

The Best You Exhibition is a two day trade fair that will bring together the leading trainers, mentors, therapists and publishers in the personal development arena.

30 unique workshops throughout the weekend in transformative spaces dedicated to business, health and wellbeing – plus The Best Practitioners’ One-stop Shop

The Best You Exhibition will take place at ExCel London on 27-28 February 2016, and will feature the best writers, speakers and innovators in the field. This unique combination of exhibition, workshops, seminars and networking will help thousands of delegates to be inspired to realise their full potential.

10 full-length seminars from global leaders in personal development including Sir Clive Woodward, Jason Vale, Gill Fielding and Barbara De Angelis.

Meet professionals face-to-face and learn about the latest life transformational tools

Whether you’re looking to achieve your personal dreams, inject a renewed energy into your business, or are a personal development specialist looking to network, The Best You Exhibition is the place to be.

For specialists; useful support services and advice from other practitioners

For private business attendees; discover how personal development can transform your business.


LES BROWN A unique opportunity to meet some of the world’s greatest personal development experts

‘International Speaker’

BARBARA DE ANGELIS ‘International Speaker’

Be Inspired

For more information about the full line-up of event speakers visit thebestyouexhibition.com, email info@thebestyou.co or call

+44 207 927 6500







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Harriet Beecher Stowe was born during the infancy of the United States. In 1811 Connecticut, there wasn’t much room for a woman’s voice in the public arena. Luckily for Stowe, she was preceded by outspoken and influential notables, including a religious leader father, as well as a grandfather who made an impact in the American Revolutionary War. Stowe was able to beat the odds of the time and procured the sort of education that only males were privileged to receive. During her upbringing, Stowe was always surrounded by powerful orators, including her minister father and brothers. However as a woman, she would be expected in her post-school life to act according to accepted gender practices of the age. Empowered by her time spent as a young member of a Cincinnati-based social and oratory club who were passionate critics of slavery, Stowe and her new husband became part of the Underground Railroad movement, aiding many slaves in their quest to find freedom. All of this while raising seven children. Stowe’s willingness to speak out hit a powerful chord when she wrote Uncle Tom’s Cabin, an account of a life spent in slavery. The book became a sensational hit, and was a key link in the chain that turned the tide against slavery in America. Thus it is a true wonder that Harriet Beecher Stowe, in an era when it was improper to be a woman and speak out against anything, was a woman who spoke out against slavery, the most hot-button topic of the day. She did so because of her bravery and skill, but she also did so because it was the right thing to do.


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Born in the late 1980s in Sydney, Australia, Jarryd Hayne is a modern day global folk hero. But he didn’t get there without some bumps and bruises along the way. Hayne’s father was a professional rugby player, however Hayne and his two siblings were raised primarily by a single mother. Hayne showed early athletic promise, displaying prodigious natural ability as a six-year old. After notching several high school athletic achievements, Hayne took a huge gamble, leaving school to become a professional rugby player at the age of 18. He was immediately impactful during his first pro season, giving a breakout performance to earn rookie-of-the-year honors. Throughout his almost decade-long rugby career, Hayne earned a player-of-the-year distinction, as well helping his team to the title of 2013 Rugby League World Cup Champions. It was in 2011 though, that Hayne quietly began to make millions of his devoted fans nervous. He announced his intentions to chase his dream of playing in the American National Football League. To say he had an uphill battle looming ahead was an understatement. Hayne wasn’t eligible to play college football in America due to the fact that he never completed his high school equivalency: yet another obstacle to overcome. After scrappily organising highlight reels and American scout training sessions, Hayne in late 2014 announced he was leaving rugby for American football. Almost one year later, Jarryd Hayne achieved the impossible dream, making the 2015 final roster for the San Francisco 49ers of the NFL.



Raised in Vidarbha, India, Kalpana Saroj lived her young life as any normal child would: she played with other children and attended school. And it was school and education in which she took a keen interest from a very early age. Sadly, it was also during this early age that she would find herself ripped away from the life she knew, married off at 12 years old. Cast into an arranged married life that very much amounted to slavery, Saroj bore the responsibilities of cooking, cleaning and enduring physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her husband’s ten-member family. Having been more or less opposed to his daughter’s marrying at such a young age, her father came to visit Saroj not long after she took a husband; he took one look at her and knew he had to help her. After extricating her from her marriage, her father brought her home. Saroj was ostracised by her people for years, at one point attempting suicide. It was from this lowest point though that she began to rise. She went to work in a garment factory, quickly grasping the business and then lobbying for government funds that would see her start her own tailoring business. Saroj started a successful furniture business while still holding her tailoring job. From there, she was always on the lookout for new opportunities, even launching her own film production company. However it was when she took control of a failing copper tubing company that she ascended to the ranks of the ultra-successful. She almost single-handedly reversed the company’s fortunes and Kalpana Saroj now boasts a net worth of more than $110m.



Ryan Tedder is an Oklahoma native, born in Tulsa and raised there, as well as Colorado later in his youth. He was brought up in religion, often surrounded by a large group of family members who were missionaries and higherranking members of the church. Encouraged by his family, Tedder began playing the piano at the age of three. He was supported by his parents in all things music. His father a local musician and his mother a teacher, they fostered his piano talent while also encouraging new endeavours, such as his sudden need to add singing to his early resume when he was seven. Throughout his upbringing, Tedder lived by rigorous, self-imposed practise schedules, working to get better and better. While attending college, he again brought a workmanlike approach to his music, forming bands and performing live whenever he could. It was after graduation however, that he would receive a rude awakening from the real world. Tedder was crowned champion on an MTV music competition, and while he delighted in his triumph, he soon discovered that the record contract and album he thought he’d earned, were never to be handed over. After spending time working as a waiter and staff at a department store, Tedder finally caught a break. Taken under the wing of mega hip-hop producer Timbaland, doors began to open. Ryan Tedder learned how to popularise his songwriting for a mass audience, subsequently reconnected with an old college friend to form his chart-topping group OneRepublic, and cemented himself as a go-to songwriter for a generation of pop superstars.

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INNER TECH Gadgets for the season

We live in a technological age and the opportunities that new ideas and developments bring to both our personal and professional lives are amazing. Discover fresh thinking and technologies that can enhance daily life.

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MAKING A DIFFERENCE At The Best You, we recognise those who are using their digital space to educate, empower and do good for others

Exclusive content and shots on iPad, iPhone and Android devices

WINNIE HARLOW She’s made headlines with her inspiring vitiligo vlog that had fans around the world imitating her skin condition in support of her awarenessbuilding channel. Having been diagnosed with the skin condition at the age of four, she defied childhood bullies by going on to be selected for America’s Next Top Model, and appearing on numerous magazine covers. In 2011, she posted a YouTube video where she shared her story and what it’s like to have vitiligo, and has since given a TED Talk on preconceptions of beauty.

To watch Winnie Harlow’s TED Talk visit thebestyoumagazine.co

CARLY ROWENA Originally a marketing manager for BMW and MINI, Carly Rowena knew she wasn’t following her dream career, and so she started making videos about fitness. A qualified personal trainer, she uploads new videos every Sunday at 6pm to inspire others to follow healthy and achievable lifestyles. Outspoken on body dysmorphia, stress and sensible eating, she provides a realistic role model for those who want to shape their bodies and lives.

Watch Carly Rowena’s channel at https://www.youtube.com/user/ Carlyrowena

SIOBHAN FREEGARD We’ve always cherished parenting gurus with their no-nonsense advice on bringing up junior, but Siobhan Freegard is leading the way for millennial mums with YouTube’s Channel Mum. Launched in January 2015, Channel Mum has mentored 100 vlogstar mums who post daily on everything from conception to potty training. Freegard was inspired to create the parenting community as she felt the space was dominated by US vloggers and wanted to create a UK-based forum.

Watch Channel Mum at https://www.youtube.com/user/ channelmum



& AWAY NEST PROTECT With students leaving home, many parents are reassuring themselves by adding the protection offered by Nest Protect. Most dorm rooms are equipped with a standard smoke detector, but the first time there’s a cooking incident, batteries can be removed and replacing them can be something that’s quickly forgotten. The Nest Protect has voice alerts that say exactly what the issue is and where. It’ll tell you, for instance, if there’s smoke in the kitchen; it’ll tell you if carbon monoxide levels are dangerous (even sending alerts to your smartphone if you’re out of the house); best of all, it is extremely energy efficient, so the battery-powered version can last for as long as ten years. That’s a decade of peace-of-mind. Suggested retail price: £69

BELKIN WEMO SWITCH It might not be feasible to turn a dorm room or a small apartment into a genius-level smart home, but making it a good deal smarter might be easier than you think. The Belkin WeMo Switch lets you turn on or off electronic devices through your mobile device. Whether it’s a space heater, fan or any number of lights, the Wemo gives the user a great deal of control over their electronics, even when they’re not around. The app also has a voice control feature, which means you’ll never have to lift a finger. To supercharge the device’s intelligence use, If This Then That (IFTTT) allows you to programme the switch to, for instance, turn on the lights when the sun goes down or turn off the space heater when you leave the house. Highly intuitive stuff. Suggested retail price: £39

College is in full swing, so if your student offspring are in need of some tech support here’s the latest musthave gadgets – plus one for your home too

PHILIPS LIVING COLOURS IRIS TABLE LAMP Nothing makes a space feel less habitable than bare white walls. Posters are still the go-to decoration solution for students, but for those looking for more elegant solutions, the Philips Living Colours lamp is a good place to start. The 210-lumen LED light is fully adjustable. Philips says that the light can produce as many as 16m different colours. It comes with a remote control that allows you to select the colour as well as the mode and the intensity of the light. Whether you put it behind your TV (it can apparently help optimise gaming and video) or on an end or bedside table, the diffused light effect instantly makes any space more elegant and soothing. Suggested retail price: £199

HGST TOURO S 1TB PORTABLE HARD DRIVE Losing your data can be a major inconvenience when you’re young, but when you start moving through the halls of higher learning, the risks associated with data security skyrocket. If you’ve ever had a computer crash on you just before a deadline, you’ll know the hair-pulling and hand-wringing that come with the fallout. An excellent and portable hard drive (and that’s exactly what the HGST Touro is) will make sure that, even if your computer melts down, your data is safe and sound. The Hitachi-made device has more than enough room to keep a student’s data safe, and it also boasts 3GB of cloud storage, which allows the user to access their data from anywhere. It’s an attractive and subtle device, and no student should be without one. Suggested retail price: £69

BOWERS AND WILKINS 805 D3 Music is the ultimate release. Whether it’s starting your day or ending it, the soundtrack can set the mood and provide a much-needed break from the world. Some think that one bookshelf system is as good as any other, but those for whom music is more of an obsession than a diversion, the quality of the sound is everything. Bowers and Wilkins never fails to deliver: crisp bass and perfectly balanced highs and mids, and an elegant addition to any space. The B&W 805 D3 aren’t for those with shallow pockets, but for the no-nonsense music lover they’ll provide a soothing sanctuary that’s worth more than anything. Durable and capable of handling no matter what kind of music you throw at them, the 805s might just be some of the best bookshelf speakers on the market. Suggested retail price: £4,500 (pre-order)

THE BEST YOU DIRECTORY The best professionals in personal development



Dr Stephen Simpson NLP, hypnotherapy and havening Email: doc@drstephensimpson.com Website: www.drstephensimpson.com Clients include leading names from the world of sport, business and the entertainment industries

Shayna Schulman Attitude adjuster and flexibility enhancer Email: Shayna.s@virgin.net Phone: +44 (0) 208 960 7715 Licensed trainer, coaching, consulting, yoga, nutrition

NLP TRAINERS Tina Taylor: Licensed master trainer and practitioner Email: kay@the-me-group.com Phone: +44 (0) 7946 351640 Website: tina@tina-taylor.com Tina’s experience allows her to create and provide some unique coaching services, from stopping addictions to pregnancy and pain control

Ulrika Shaw: Thrive consultant and hypnotherapist Email: enquiry@shawmind.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7810 556029 Website: www.shawmind.co.uk Are you suffering from anxieties or depression? Maybe you’re struggling with bad habits such as overeating or smoking? I help people overcome anything that holds them back!

Geoff Rolls: Corporate coach and kinesiologist Email: geoff@geoffrolls.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7905 056 513 Website: www.geoffrolls.co.uk Learning and development, NLP trainer, TFH kinesiology instructor

June O’Driscoll: Exec coach, business coach, trainer Email: june@thoughtitude.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7876 657 8055 Website: www.thoughtitude.co.uk NLP, coaching and hypnotherapy training school and consultancy

LIFE COACHES Dr Andrew A Parsons Mindfulness, resilience and finding clear purpose Email: aaparsons@reciprocalminds.com Phone: +44 (0)7854 029 268 Support people, build awareness and make changes for success

Dustin Vice Personal and business development coaching Email: dustin@alliancecoachingsystem.com Website: www.alliancecoachingsystem.com Professional coaching, coaching business system for professional coaches

Gail Cherry: Torchlight coaching Email: gail@torchlightcoaching.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)1143 489 161 Website: www.torchlightcoaching.co.uk Helping people with their personal and professional development. We work together to be the best you

Ruth Hepworth: Life coach Email: ruth.hepworth@ntlworld.com Phone: +44 (0)1252 655 849

Those Life Consultant Guys: Coaching, seminars, business, goal setting and more Website: www.thoselifeconsultantguys.com A coaching company which prides itself on helping you to live your best life; every day, through one-on-one sessions and seminar programmes

Nick Nanton Career and life coaching, consultancy and public speaking Website: www.nicknanton.com Phone: (407) 215-7737 Recognised as one of the top thought-leaders in the business world

Edson Williams: Life coaching Email: edson@leadbyexample.com Phone: +44(0)7867517777 Website: www.leadbyexample.com Specialising in leadership development and sport coaching

David Owen: Life coach & NLP trainer Email: bestyou@excel-yourself.com Phone: 07900 243494 Website: www.excel-yourself.com Stop smoking, slimming, phobias, relationships, stress, confidence, self-esteem


The best professionals in personal development PHOBIA SPECIALISTS John Vincent Public speaking without fear Email: John@JohnVincent.tv Phone: +44 (0)7808 545 421 Website: www.johnvincent.tv

Paul Wright Phobias, anxieties, panic attacks Email: paul@phobiagone.com Phone: +44 (0)203 086 8444 Website: www.phobiagone.com

NLP THERAPISTS / HYPNOTHERAPISTS Linda Cameron and Gail Walshe Inspire for impact Email: say-hello@inspireforimpact.com Phone: +44 (0)845 601 7567 Website: www.inspireforimpact.com NLP trainers, NLP master practitioners, NLP life coaches, hypnotherapists

Debbie Williams Birmingham NLP Practice Group Website: www.debbiewilliams.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)121 241 0728 Life coaching, public speaking, sports coaching, all eating disorders, emotional mastery, OCD, stopping blushing, cocaine addiction, binge drinking

Edson Williams Coaching, NLP, personal development Email: say-hello@inspireforimpact.com Phone: +44 (0) 7867517777 Website: www.leadbyexample.com With an holistic approach, Edson specialises in performance coaching

Laura Spicer: Public speaking skills and confidence Email: laura.spicer@gmail.com Phone: 01752 361 576 Website: www.laura-spicer.com The only accredited sound practice trainer for the Society of NLP

EATING DISORDERS John Arroyo Coaching, personal development Email: john@johnarroyo.co.uk I have been a therapist and personal development trainer for 20 years, specialising in eating disorders for the last 10 years



Pasquale Acampora (Italy) Master trainer and mental coach, NLP, team building Website: www.blackship.it Phone: +39 (0)335 70 99 000 Pasquale’s key areas are sport and business; he has worked with top athletes and multinational companies

Alessandro Mora (Italy) Sport coaching Email: a.mora@ekis.it Phone: +39 (0)522 337 611 Website: www.pnlekis.com NLP, coaching and team building applied to sport and business all over Italy

Xavier Pirla (Spain): NLP master trainer and NLP coach Email: kay@the-me-group.com Phone: 91 002 84 44 (Madrid) 93 193 6449 (Barcelona) Website: www.the-me-group.com NLP, NLP business applications, coaching workshops and consultancy

Aleksander Sinigoj (Slovenia) Mastermind academy Email: info@itnlp.com Website: www.aleksandersinigoj.com Leadership, motivation, sales, business NLP

To include your details in The Best You directory, call 0203 011 0866 or email advertising@thebestyou.co Visit www.thebestyoudirectory.co for more personal development professionals

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Profile for The Best You Magazine

The Best You October 2015  

Autumn is the perfect month to be inspired to make changes to achieve the life you really want, and this issue of The Best You is packed wit...

The Best You October 2015  

Autumn is the perfect month to be inspired to make changes to achieve the life you really want, and this issue of The Best You is packed wit...