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OCTOBER 2013 / PRICE £3.99


Life Without Limits

TV broadcaster and good sport


Gives some advice to insomniacs














Bernardo Moya welcomes you to the latest issue of The Best You

29 BOOK REVIEWS Our top literary choices – a small selection of what’s available

64 TOP TIPS: EAT THE RIGHT WAY Marisa Peer gives us some simple

guidelines to help us live a healthy life

40 WE SUPPORT… Bobby’s Breakthrough is holding an auction and ball this month to raise funds



The British Apprentice’s Lord Sugar is tough as nails, a large part of his success

12 FOLLOW YOUR DREAM TV Broadcaster Tim Lovejoy made a change that affected the rest of his life

INNER YOU 16 EVOLUTION OF PSYCHOLOGY Kendra Cherry simplifies psychology for students, so she did it for us too

18 ARE YOU LOSING SLEEP? Sleep expert Joseph Emet distinguishes between sleep disorders and insomnia


22 YOU BUILD ME UP This month’s Bucket List suggests some must-see architectural wonders

25 IT’S THE GOOD NEWS So much of the news we read is bad. Here are some stories to lift your spirits

26 SAY HELLO TO BOLLYWOOD Probably the most joyful cinematic genre, says Bollywood expert Mihir Bose

THE BEST YOU No. 11 · October 2013 · Year 1 · EDITOR / PUBLISHER Bernardo Moya · DEPUTY EDITOR Zoë Henry · ASSOCIATE EDITOR Matthew Wingett · PROOFREADER Bryan Szabo · GRAPHIC DESIGN · Joanna Frackiewicz · NEW MEDIA · Allan Banford · TECHNICAL CONSULTANT Martin Carter · ADVERTISING · Carla Phipps carla.phipps@thebestyou.co · The Best You Corporation LTD 5 Percy St. · London, United Kingdom, W1T 1DG · Tel: +44 (0)845 230 2033 · www.thebestyou.co





42 THEY’VE GOT THAT MOBO WORKIN’ MOBO contributes a lot to emerging talents, like the MOBO Talent Competition

44 THAT WILL TEACH YOU Out-of-school children are a growing problem around the world. The Best You reports

46 LABOUR OF LOVE Filmmaker James Colquhoun tells us about his experience with natural birth



Dr Rita Rakus of the Rita Rakus Clinic tells us about the latest anti-aging technology

52 OBESITY IN KIDS Greg Small, SkillsActive’s Registers Operations Manager, talks about obesity in kids

WEALTH & RICHES 57 POWER OF COMMUNCATION Dr Ro tells us all about the importance of communicating with clients

58 TOP 10 THINGS GREAT LEADERS DO Robin Sharma knowswhat it takes to be a great leader

60 GIVE YOURSELF A GOOD REP Having a good reputation in business is important, Tamsen Garrie explains

62 THE ROCKY ROAD TO SUCCESS The Best You looks at some inspirational people from history who didn’t have success handed to them on a silver platter



66 THE STRONGEST LINK With over 50,000 connections Steven Burda is LinkedIn’s most connected member,

68 TECHNICALLY SPEAKING Many gadgets are designed to improve your way of life. We look at some of the best







he statistics are extraordinary. In the UK, nearly one in five adults experience anxiety or depression, according to a recent survey by the Office of National Statistics. And of course, on the back of that, there’s also a rise in the level of prescribed drugs to treat it. But I wonder, is prescription the right way to go in every case? After all, very often the assessments made by rushed NHS doctors are based on a simple survey carried out in their allocated seven-minuteper-patient time slot. And it’s not just adults. Even kids as young as five are now being diagnosed with depression. It’s very concerning to think that even these young brains are being prescribed drugs that will change their brain chemistry, often as a first resort! There must be other ways to deal with at least some of these cases. Surely, taking charge of your mental health should always be an option

that’s explored. True, the NHS uses new treatments and technologies such as CBT. But I ask myself, shouldn’t we be catching these problems sooner, instead of turning them into medical problems? Wouldn’t it make sense to give people more freedom and control? Despite its long history, in many ways psychology is in its early days. This month, we look at the history of traditional psychology and the different schools of thought that make it up. Next month we will be looking wider, at the therapies beyond traditional psychology and psychotherapy. I believe that if something works, we should use it. If new techniques from outside of the psychological tradition work, then we should use them pragmatically to make a positive difference. Helping people overcome depression, lack of confidence, low self esteem and obesity is not purely the preserve of the psychologists. Next month we will look at some of the other therapies that are making a

Depressed people think they know themselves, but maybe they only know depression.

difference today. I would also like to welcome a few new, esteemed contributors: Paul McKenna as our sleep expert, Mihir Bose as our Bollywood guru and Robin Sharma as a regular contributor focusing on success and leadership.

– Mark Epstein


Follow me: @Bernardo_Moya

WE WANT YOUR STORIES The Best You is all about inspiring people. If you have a tale to tell that you think will help someone become the best they can be, please tell us.




is a former professional Rugby player and has always maintained the highest standards of health and fitness. He worked for Virgin Active and David Lloyd and Register of Exercise Professionals before being asked to develop and run all the registers as Operations Manager for SkillsActive.


is a Nutritional Consultant turned filmmaker. Motivated by an illness in his own family the duo set off to make ‘Food Matters’ and now ‘Hungry For Change’.



is the author of Buddha’s Book of Stress Reduction, and has been teaching Mindfulness Meditation Training for Stress Reduction courses in Montreal, Canada for 18 years. He was appointed a Dharma Teacher by Thich Nhat Hanh in 2002.



is the author of The Everything Psychology Book and writer of the About. com Psychology page. She is also a psychosocial rehabilitation therapist who specialises in working with children with emotional disturbances.

is an award winning journalist, broadcaster and the author of 28 books. His Bollywood A History, is the only narrative history of the Indian film industry.




is a hypnotist and an author of self-help books. He has written and produced books and multimedia products, hosted self-improvement television shows and presents seminars in hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming, sleep and weight loss.




has over 20 years of experience specialising in noninvasive cosmetic solutions and is dubbed by the media as ‘The London Lip Queen’. Her Knightsbridge clinic has been ranked the busiest Thermage clinic in Europe and has been awarded the prestigious Black Diamond Award by SOLTA Medical.



is the founder of Sharma Leadership International Inc., a global consultancy with a single focus: helping organizations develop employees who can Lead Without a Title. SLI’s clients include many of the best companies on the planet such as Starbucks, Nike and The Coca-Cola Company.


(Dr Ro) specializes in Human and Corporate Re-Engineering. He is an author, a professional speaker and an investor. He teaches and coaches people globally on transformational and communication tools that create personal and professional impact.


works with business people and professionals to enable them to align their activity so that they achieve the results they really want. Her book, The Act Of Attraction In Business, is available from Amazon.co.uk.



is a deputy editor for a lifestyle magazine for British Airways. He has many years of experience working as a freelance writer and editor in leading titles. He currently lives in London, but grew up in the ghettos of Cape Town, South Africa.




COVER IMAGE COURTESY OF FREEMANTLE MEDIA INTERNATIONAL The Best You is published by The Best You Corporation Ltd, 5 Percy Street, W1T 1DG. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect The Best You Corporation Ltd, policy. The Best You Corporation Ltd accepts no responsibility for views expressed by its contributors. Advertisements and reader offers are not endorsed by The Best You or The Best You Corporation Ltd.


YOU’RE HIRED! Alan Sugar


is convinced that entrepreneurs are born and not made. Is he right? The Best You finds out.


ntrepreneurial spirit is something you are born with, just like a concert pianist’s talent. Stick me in a room with a piano teacher for a year and maybe I’ll end up being able to give you a rendition of ‘Roll Out The Barrel’, but would I ever be a concert pianist playing at The Royal Albert Hall? Not in a million years. In the same way, you’ve either got entrepreneurial spirit, or you haven’t,” Lord Sugar says, unequivocally. Renowned for his irascibility, he even has trouble with the word entrepreneur. “At the numerous talks I give around the country these days, there’ll be a Q and A session and it never fails to annoy me when somebody stands up and says ‘Hello, I’m an entrepreneur.’ I refer to my entrepreneurial spirit as I have been branded an entrepreneur so many times by so many people that I feel I’ve earned the right,” he says. Many, he believes, have not. Lord Sugar’s success comes from an extraordinary combination of inspiration about what the market wants, flexibility to the customer’s needs, inventiveness (it was Sugar who came up with the idea of that great 1980s icon, the tower stereo system, and he was an early entrant into the home PC market), gut instinct, insight into people and an ability to learn from mistakes. Nothing of this is suggested by his early life in a Clapton council flat during the late 1940s and ‘50s. His father, a clothes factory tailor, would occasionally alter clothes to

ABOVE Alan Sugar with his co-hosts on The Apprentice

My parents did their best, but not being able to have what I wanted made me want to do something for myself to be selfsufficient.

MAIN PICTURE Alan Sugar’s stare is as hard as his determination

earn a few extra pennies. Life was hard: “My parents did their best, but not being able to have what I wanted made me determined to do something for myself - to be self-sufficient.” With rose-tinted joy he recalls his early days at his first school, Northwold Primary. It was an innocent time that was to change when he went to Brook House Comprehensive and encountered racism for the first time. In his teens he went into his shell, virtually living the life of a recluse, lacking in confidence with others. It’s not true that he hid away at home, however. The young Alan had already found a passion for making money. He tells a series of stories that highlight how he thought. One tells us that he had a sense of practicality, confidence and unabashedness. At age 11, the story goes, he decided to make his mother a cake and asked his neighbours for the ingredients. When his mum came home and he showed her the cake, she immediately felt embarrassed at his asking neighbours for the ingredients. She only relaxed after their assurances that they were amused by him. His sense of enterprise came early, too. Seeing

someone throwing away sacks of material, he asked if he could have them. He took them to a rag and bone man who told him it was rubbish and paid him half a crown (12 and a half pence in modern money). When he discovered he had been “legged over” by the rag and bone man another side of the 11-year-old’s personality came out. He went back, confronted him and demanded the proper price. “The rag and bone man slung two more shillings at me and told me to clear off,” he says. Such a story reveals something else: he had a strong sense of right and wrong and was willing to fight for his corner even then. Sugar gives numerous accounts of identifying opportunities. Seeing builders resurfacing the roads, digging up and disposing of the tarsoaked wooden blocks the road was laid on, he organised a group of friends to chop them up so he could sell them as firelighters. It was a short-lived operation. When older boys in the flats found out what he was doing, they took over and pushed him out. Again, he learned the lesson – always be aware that the competition is close behind. All the while, Alan’s dad would shake his head at his money-making schemes. “It was a strange attitude,” he confides. “Many times I’d have to play down the success of my

Having seen other people do it, at 19 years old, he decided go it alone. He bought a van and £40 worth of aerials from a trader called Ronnie Marks. Four days later he’d made £60 profit, which was a lot of money at the time. This was the start of Amstrad, the Alan Michael Sugar Trading Company. He went from strength to strength selling electrical goods bought wholesale. Sugar soon realised there was a better margin to be had from manufacturing items. He could undersell the competition and still make more profit for himself. His first foray into manufacture was his plinth and cover for stereo record decks. “A lump of plastic and wood,” he says that he got cabinet makers in the East End to knock together cheaply. He cut costs further when he had the plastic cover made by injection moulding rather than vacuum forming. His cost reduction philosophy was something he would continually apply to make items affordable for everyone. His next step was a logical one – to produce a cheap separate amplifier. With the Amstrad 8000 he started making electrical goods. “There I was, 24 years old, running my own factory, employing about 30 people,” he remembers. It was quite a story, and it had only just begun.


business activities because my father could not believe that someone so young could make so much money.” His dad’s caution highlights something else in Sugar. Self belief. His was an extraordinary set of skills that he built upon when young. Whether he was making and selling ginger beer, becoming a photographer at bar mitzvahs, or printing and selling his own school magazine, Sugar just seemed to see ways to do things that would make money. Then got on and did them. After leaving school and doing a short stint of statistical work with the Government, he moved into retail. He had several jobs, including retailing clothing on Saturdays and selling repaired televisions in the evenings. It gave him the opportunity to watch great salesmen at work and he picked up a new sets of skills that would be useful to him later. He makes no distinction between effective salespeople. As he says of the seller in Chelmsford market: “Let me tell you, he is no different from the suited and booted executive with a fancy Powerpoint presentation, trying to sell Rolls-Royce engines to Boeing. The commodity may be different, the environment may be different, but the presentation and selling skills are exactly the same, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

ABOVE Hard work and talent has allowed Sugar to enjoy the finer things

There I was, 24 years old, running my own factory, employing about 30 people

BELOW Alan Sugar leads the British version of The Apprentice

He faced problems along the way, but Alan Sugar found ways around them. To get over the three day week that restricted the power supply to his factory due to strikes, he ran a generator on the premises. When two of his workers stopped working and began intimidating his plant manager, he dragged them out of the pub and they turned nasty. Armed with a crowbar, his response was: “If either of you come near me, I’ll wrap it round your head.” By the end of the 1970s, Sugar had factories in the UK, a large turnover and a healthy profit margin in the millions. He was experienced in the electronics sector and was ideally placed to take advantage of the massive 1980s electronics consumer boom that was to come as a result of cheaper, massproduced components. His philosophy was simple, he says: “Pile ‘em high and sell

‘em cheap.” He undercut the professional business machine market. Word processors were selling at £5000-plus in the mid 1980s. To the astonishment of the Press he produced one for £399. It was the same with personal computers and tower stereo systems - the last being a concept he invented. It was said of Alan Sugar back then that he knew every part of his business. He would sit on the assembly line when a product was first being produced and assemble it himself to understand its costings. He was also known for talking directly with employees on the factory floor. Part of his success came from finding and building relationships with suppliers who could build his products cheaply and quickly. He found manufacturers in Japan who could deliver on time, to specification at the right price. In this way, throughout most of the 1980s, he outstripped the competition. He was also unconventional. When Rupert Murdoch approached him to supply Sky Broadcasting with satellite receivers, he decided on his price point and then went hell-for-leather to reach it. It was the reverse of the normal way of doing things. By the early 1990s, the huge consumer boom Amstrad had ridden was coming to an end. At its height, Amstrad had been worth £1.2 billion, but by 1992 was reporting annual losses of £72 million. Sugar saved the company from liquidation by a fire sale of his failed PC line and soldiered on. He also became chairman of Tottenham Hotspurs, a decision he was later to describe as “a waste of nine years of my life”. He set up Amsair, which provides executive flights and also bought IT company Viglen. By 2007 Amstrad was essentially a maker of satellite dishes for BSkyB, and it was then that Sugar sold the company to Sky for £125

million. A year later he stepped down as Chairman. He continues to be an entrepreneur with a brilliant understanding of people, and a direct understanding of the public’s needs. His renowned bluntness makes for great viewing on the BBC tv show The Apprentice. He reflects that he was never taught how to small talk when he was a child, and he finds parties and meetings in which people sit around not talking about why they’re there as a “waste of time”. To him, it is down to business straight away. This has sometimes backfires on him. When in negotiations with one of his Japanese suppliers, a Mr Otake, he was once shown Otake’s latest electrical product, only to ask immediately how much it cost. Mr Otake, clearly proud of what he had produced, took exception and sulked. But at the same time, his interest in getting down to business means that – as he says himself – “what you see is what you get”. Alan Sugar’s drive to succeed and his obsession for innovation haven’t waned as the years have gone by. His attitude of sturdy self-reliance, instinctively grasping what will work and what won’t, his ability to see to the core of problems quickly, his self-belief, humour and willingness to learn have all stood him in good stead. He looks for these traits in The Apprentice, testing contestants for their entrepreneurial aptitude. He believes in putting them through the whole process of buying and selling at a basic level – of coming up with a brand, a slogan and a wellconceived product. At times putting his apprentices under massive pressure, he believes that the School of Hard Knocks provides a valuable education. He is the proof of it. In 2009, Alan Sugar was elevated to the peerage. Lord Sugar of Clapton continues to be a major player in business

In 2009, Alan Sugar was elevated to the peerage. Lord Sugar of Clapton continues to be a major player in business. BELOW Lord Sugar is a great businessman, with a net worth of £770 million

with a personal net worth currently estimated at £770 million ($1.14 billion). It’s tempting to say that, going from those early days of selling discarded wool to the present is a “rags to riches” story, but his life is far more than the cliché. He may have been born with natural talent, but he has also worked hard. So it is more than the simple belief Lord Sugar holds that the entrepreneur is born, not made. Yes, his story is one of a man with unique innate talents, but it is also of someone willing to learn, adapt and listen to his instincts along the way.b

ALAN SUGAR AT A GLANCE  Born 1947 to a poor Jewish family the youngest of four kids and grew up in a flat in Woolmer House council estate.  He was not great at spelling at school and discovered a joy for maths only when he could see a use for it.  From very young could see ways to make extra money, much to his dad’s embarrassment and unease.  Dropped A levels in favour of work. Failed to find employment with IBM and worked briefly for a Government statistical office.  As a teenager worked in retail before setting himself up selling his own goods. His first purchase was a batch of car aerials for which he paid £40.  Formed Amstrad in 1968  Invented the tower hi-fi system, introduced the Amstrad computer and the first cheap word processor.  Stayed at the forefront of cheap technological innovation throughout the 1980s taking the company to a value of £1.2 billion.  After disasters in the early 1990s, saved Amstrad from liquidation and continued to trade.  Supplied the satellite dishes for BSkyB through Amstrad.  Purchased other companies, including Betacom and Viglen and set up Amsair executive airline.  Became Lord Sugar of Clapton in 2009.  Continues to espouse his code of self-reliance and unique business style through hit TV series The Apprentice.  Estimated worth: £770 million.



As one-time producer of The Big Break Breakfast, producer and presenter on Sky’s Soccer AM and current host of Channel 4’s Sunday Brunch, Tim Lovejoy is enjoying the success that comes from years in the TV business. So how did he get there? And what qualities did he need to succeed? Bernardo Moya interviewed him to find out.


f you can say anything

about Tim Lovejoy, it’s that he’s got determination and motivation. These qualities have been with him throughout his career as a TV presenter on some of the UK’s favourite shows. His younger days, however, were a different matter. School was “a chance to play football,” he says disparagingly, remembering how he left school as soon as he got his six “O” Levels. And yes, he did attend a college afterwards, but he remembers he was out meeting girls and going to too many parties to apply himself. In fact, one day, his dad said to him: “Tim, I’d like to have a chat with you. We went up to


DREAM your open evening today at your college. The teacher said he would love to meet you one day.” It was not the start of a family bust-up, however. Following his dad’s advice, Tim set to work in a clothing shop. But as a young man with an imagination and a creative streak, he couldn’t settle in


retail. It was the 1980s when the world of finance and exciting deals in the City were in the news, and Tim felt the call of high finance. His primary drive back then, he recalls, was to make some money. “Everyone was going ‘Commission, if you get commission you’re going to make a fortune’. So I got myself

MAIN PICTURE Tim Lovejoy followed his dream and has enjoyed success


a job at Allied Dunbar.” As a 19-year-old, selling mortgages at the height of the ‘80s boom was quite a responsible job for one so young. As a people person, Tim’s concern was that his clients could afford it rather than mortgage themselves to the hilt - a very different priority to that of his firm. “I’m not saying they were criminals, but there was a definite ‘Hold on, this one gets us a lot of commission.’ You know what I mean?” He may have been the youngest sales associate at Allied Dunbar, but he was most definitely not the happiest. Life changed when a stranger sat with him and his friend at a club and asked him why looked so unhappy. Tim answered that he had to go to work the following day. It was then that this stranger gave him advice that sounds, as Tim concedes, like it was straight from a Hollywood movie: “’Listen, my friend”, he said, ‘Take my advice. I’m in my thirties, I’m going through a divorce, I hate my job and I don’t have any chances. Put your work and your effort into following your dream, because otherwise if you’re just going for money at your age like I did, you might end up like me. Follow your dream.’” Cheesy or not, the encounter really happened – and it had a profound effect. “I

ABOVE Bernardo Moya interviews Tim Lovejoy

BELOW Light, camera, action! TV broascasting is Tim’s passion

went away and. I was miserable at the time, it really struck me and I thought, right, what is my dream?” A few days later a friend of his reminded him that he had always wanted to be a radio DJ. “I’d always wanted to work in media and TV and radio and things like that, and it kind of clicked... that was what my dream was as a kid. It was either that or an astronaut and I wasn’t going to be an astronaut, so why not go for media?” With that realisation in place, Tim started going for work on radio. His dedication was unstoppable. To earn money he took any work he could get. He DJ-ed in clubs and became the “swag man” going on tour with bands and selling t-shirts. He worked in bars and restaurants and told his dad and his friends he was going to be a TV presenter. But how was he going to do it? The fact was he spent every spare penny hiring a cameraman and sound man and producing show reels. He’d turn up at a movie premiere with his crew and pass himself off as a real reporter for a cable TV company. Then he’d get the show reels mastered and send them off, asking for work. “I’ve got a file at home with 250 rejection letters in it.

Some of the people I actually ended up work with, bizarrely. All standard letters saying, ‘No thank you, sir...’ I was just determined.” Then, one day Brian Diamond at MTV allowed him to do a week as a stand-in presenter. It was not a success. “I was hopeless, it has to be said,” Tim confesses. But not long after this he received some really great advice from an agent. He told him to get some experience behind the camera. “Now, what he was really saying was ‘You’re not a very good TV presenter. Go and work behind the scenes.’ But what I took it as was: ‘He thinks I’m brilliant, but I’ve got go get a bit of work behind the cameras.’” It was then that he got work as researcher on The Big Breakfast, and because of the turnover of staff leaving to go to other jobs, within two years he was producing a national TV show. From there, he moved to Sky Sports where they gave him the opportunity to become the producer and presenter on Soccer AM, which he did for 11 years. It was here that he really learned his craft as a presenter and interviewer. And then he had great success with



He has plenty more to offer, and so much more to do. And with his determination in play, it’s only a matter of time!

Something for the Weekend for the BBC and Sunday Brunch on Channel 4. So what does it take to become a great presenter? “I spend a good two and a half hours on a Saturday researching, reading up on all the guests, knowing everything about them and knowing what I’m going to talk to them about and doing it. So when you go into a show you can ad lib because you know what’s coming up and what’s happening.” For Tim, with his repeated sending of letters and showreels to people in the business from an early age, the secret of success is no secret at all. It is clear determination and application. He gives three examples of people from very different backgrounds whom he has met, and who all follow the same rule. Footballer David Beckham, rock star Noel Gallagher and film actor Ray Winston. “You always say that people have their lucky breaks, I’m not sure that they do. I think they have worked and they’ve prepared and they’ve got themselves, they always say that ‘luck is where preparation meets opportunity’, I remember hearing that years ago and I’ve always thought that.”

It’s this quality of dedication, determination and hard work that Tim believes led him to his success as well. “All these guys have the same thing in common, they’ve worked hard and they’ve prepped and they know their art. I wouldn’t put myself in the same category as those three but whenever I do an interview I’ll prep the hell out of it. Before I walk into any TV show I know everything there is on every clip, every guest, every item we’re showing how to cook and everything because I think you’ve got to have that knowledge and that’s what I do when I walk into a TV set so that people can rely on me.” It’s clear from his story that Tim didn’t only follow his dream. He tracked it and pursued it with dogged


ABOVE Tim is ready for the next challenge life throws at him

determination bordering on obsessiveness for years. Brimming with youthful selfbelief, he made mistakes and continually set himself back on the course for him. At 45 he has just started a new venture, hosting “BT Sport” – a TV show with a format similar to his earlier “Soccer AM”. He is sure that he has plenty more to offer, and so much more to do. And with his determination in play, we’re sure it’s only a matter of time!


TIM LOVEJOY AT A GLANCE  Did not apply himself at school or college  Worked a short while in retail  Went for the money by working in finance  Was told to follow his dream  Went all out to become a TV presenter  Wrote hundreds of approaches to tv companies  Received hundreds of rejections  Filmed his own show reels  Was given a break on MTV, without success  Worked as a researcher on The Big Breakfast  Produced The Big Breakfast  Presented and produced Soccer AM for Sky for 11 years  Presented Something for the Weekend for BBC  Presented Sunday Brunch  Presents BT Sport on Sunday Mornings





Life Without Limits


Connect with the wonderful, special and powerful inside. Learn new ways to get your mind and body in balance, bring out the rich core of your being. Discover the secrets that will enable you to take charge of your inner life and become The Best You.

THE EVOLUTION OF PSYCHOTHERAPY Kendra Cherry simplifies psychology for students, so she did it for us too

ARE YOU LOSING SLEEP? Sleep expert Joseph Emet distinguishes between sleep disorders and insomnia



In order to understand where the field of psychology is today, it is essential to take a look back at its history and origins. Where did it begin? Which influences have left the greatest mark on the practice today?




sychology is a broad set of disciplines drawing on a numerous theories and techniques that have emerged over the centuries. In fact, psychology’s earliest roots can be traced back to the time of the Ancient Greek philosophers, including Plato and Socrates. In the JudaeoChristian tradition there is also the story of Job, whose “Comforters” attempt to talk away his dark depressions. During the 17th-century, philosopher Rene Descartes formulated “dualism”, a concept of mind and body as two separate entities interacting together to form human experience. This view affects

different strands of psychology to this day - one side preferring pills and seeking physiological cures, the other leaning more towards the talking cure. Other important concepts also emerged from the work of these early philosophers, including the debate over the contributions of nature versus nurture to the human mind. In many ways, psychology remained a subset of philosophy until German physiologist Wilhelm Wundt applied scientific research methods to the study of psychological topics, opening the first psychology lab during the late 1800s. In this way modern psychology was born. Wundt and his student


TOP LEFT Group therapy is a good, affordable way to go

Important concepts emerged from the work of these early philosopher BOTTOM LEFT Tradional psychologists may ask you to lie down

Edward Titchener contributed to psychology’s first official “school of thought,” which was known as structuralism. According to the structuralists, human consciousness could be studied by breaking it down into its smallest elements. Almost immediately, a competing school of thought emerged under the influence of the psychologist and philosopher William James. James’s functionalism instead stressed a more holistic view of human consciousness and focused more on the direct observation of human behaviour. While neither school of thought survived long, the notion that we could study the human mind in a systematic way had a major influence on the future of psychology and psychotherapy. During the formative years of psychology, there was a tremendous emphasis on the conscious human experience. Famous and sometimes


controversial psychiatrist Sigmund Freud first suggested that the unconscious mind also played an important role in shaping human thought and behaviour. Through his clinical work with patients, Freud developed a theory that suggested that early childhood experiences and unconscious desires shaped adult personalities. He also influenced the introduction and development of talking therapy – the revolutionary idea that psychological distress and illness could be alleviated and treated by talking about issues with a trained psychotherapist. Psychoanalysis had a tremendous impact on psychology and culture at large, but today many of Freud’s ideas are viewed with scepticism. However, it is impossible to overlook the influence of his work and his contributions to the field of psychotherapy. During the early 20th century, another influential

TOP RIGHT Don’t be taken aback if your therapist takes notes

Take heart. There are new treatments and new ways forward - just around the corner!

school of thought emerged and rose to dominate the field of psychology for many years. Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov’s observation that behaviours could be learned through a conditioning process contributed to the rise of behaviourism, a theory that focused on conditioned associations and learned responses. Later, American psychologists John B. Watson and B. F. Skinner helped further the behaviourism perspective. These two thinkers suggested that thoughts and feelings should be ignored in favour of looking purely at observable behaviours. Behaviourism had an enormous impact on psychology as a discipline and psychotherapy as a practice. While it has lost its grip on psychology, psychotherapists today still rely on many techniques rooted in the behaviourist tradition. Psychoanalysis and behaviourism tended to focus on some of the more negative aspects of human behaviour, but a school of thought known as humanism emerged during

the 1950s that emphasized the inherent goodness of all people. Psychologist Abraham Maslow put forth his influential idea of a hierarchy of human needs suggesting that once more basic needs are fulfilled, people become motivated to pursue increasingly complex needs such as the need for love, esteem, and self-actualization. More strands of thought appeared in the 1960s and 1970s, some appearing briefly and then disappearing, others growing into whole new disciplines. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, for example, combines many of its predecessors’ ideas to produce a targeted systematic approach to depression and other mental illnesses, and has been shown to have some success. Another, Neuro-Linguistic Programming as practised by Paul McKenna, is an attempt at democratising mental well-being away from scientists, doctors and pharmacists - and many say it is particularly effective in treating phobias. What is obvious from the history above is that the brain is an extraordinarily complex organ which we are only just beginning to understand. The message from The Best You is this - take heart. There are new treatments and new ways forward - just around the corner! b

BOTTOM CORNER “Sometime a cigar is just a cigar” – Sigmund Freud




There is a difference between insomnia and mere sleep disturbance. Waking up more or less regularly at 3:00am is not insomnia. Many people have a pattern of four to five hours of sleep followed by a period of wakefulness. Sleep expert Joseph Emet helps us draw the line.



nsomnia is a big and scary word, but being a light sleeper is not insomnia. Neither is requiring less than eight hours of sleep. And anyway, that eight-hour myth has been debunked by research. If there is a yardstick, it is most probabrly seven

hours a night. People who regularly sleep seven hours experience better quality of life and live longer than others. But that does not mean that this particular yardstick applies to you. We all have different requirements in many areas. Our requirements may also


MAIN PICTURE Are you lying awake at night? Help is at hand.

Insomnia properly sets in when you get obsessed with the amount and quality of sleep you are getting.

change over time. Back to insomnia. Are we quibbling about words? Yes and no. Yes, because some of these other conditions can be quite stressful as well. No, because in my understanding, insomnia properly sets in when you get obsessed with the amount and quality of sleep you are getting (or not getting), and you obsess about it. You may try to control sleep consciously, and as a consequence, you become hyper-vigilant. You get upset because you are not sleeping. You start thinking thoughts like, “Oh, no‌ not another sleepless night, and another sleepy and tired day tomorrow. Why is this happening to me?

JOSEPH EMET Why can’t I sleep normally like other people?” And so on. Now, what keeps you awake is your reaction more than anything else. Being upset at anything is not particularly sleep inducing. In my book, Buddha’s Book of Sleep: Sleep Better in Seven Weeks with Mindfulness Meditation, I suggest mindfulness practices for achieving better sleep. Mindfulness practices promote being in our senses over being in our thoughts, and being in the “Here and Now” over being in the past or the future. You may be physically lying down in a dark, quiet, and comfortable bed, but mentally you may be going over an acrimonious argument you had with your teenage son earlier that day. The body does not know the difference between an imaginary argument and a real one. In both cases it gets all worked up and pretty soon you are more ready for jogging than for sleeping. Mindfulness makes it possible to let go and to abandon yourself to sleep. This is different from trying to control sleep. There are some things we can and do control, like our skeletal muscles, and which way our car is going when we are behind the wheel. There are other things we cannot control consciously. Sleep is one of them. The conscious mind may be good at




ABOVE If you have trouble sleeping at night, avoid caffiene

BELOW Clock watching at night won’t help your insomnia

creating the conditions for sleep, like turning off the light and so on, but it has no clue about how to do sleep. The “doers” among us may carry the control habit too far where it stops functioning and backfires. Mindfulness makes it possible to be aware of our habits of mind, our attitudes, and our thoughts. Awareness is the first step towards change. Buddha’s Book of Sleep addresses these and other sleep problems; it also has guided meditation exercises you can do in order to develop a more accepting attitude towards yourself, and a more peaceful attitude in bed. Just knowing about these things may not be enough. Many people find that as a result of doing these exercises the quality of their daytime life, and the quality of their relationships also improve. The same mindfulness skills also help reduce the amount of stress we feel. b

RECOMMENDED READING I can make you sleep By Paul McKenna l Helping

you overcome insomnia

 Research shows that if you get up just half an hour earlier than your usual waking time, it resets your body clock and works a treat in helping you sleep. So get up at 6:30am instead of 7:00am.  The bedroom is for two things: sleeping and making love. Do not watch TV in bed. Action movies will get your adrenalin going in a way that is different to sexual excitement, and the news will get you all wound up because of all the negativity.  Use a hypnosis CD or app to help calm you down. Getting to sleep is a process, and people who suffer from insomnia get wound up and obsess about how much sleep they are getting. To fall asleep you need to be calm and relaxed, and if you wake up in the middle of the night, get up and do something boring, like your accounts or cleaning the house. Don’t reward yourself by doing something interesting.  A common cause for not being able to sleep is a racing mind. To overcome this you need to silently describe your stream of consciousness, but it is very important that you do this silently. Use a boring voice, like a university lecturer, and say, “Now I am aware that I am thinking about this. Now I am aware that I am thinking that” as each thought pops into your head.


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Laughter, humour, travel, love - these add the sparkle that make life worth living. Climb a mountain, give to others, start a family, embrace life... What are the things you wish you had done but haven’t yet? Life is no rehearsal - find ways to enjoy it, whenever you can!

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YOU BUILD ME UP This month’s Bucket List suggests some must-see architectural structures

IT’S THE GOOD NEWS So much of the news we read is bad. Here are some stories to lift your spirits

SAY HELLO TO BOLLYWOOD Probably the most joyful cinematic genre, says Bollywood expert Mihir Bose





f course the world

is full of amazing sights to see, from the natural to the manmade. A few months back we had a look at some of the world’s wonders, which all fall into the latter category, and this month we are, once

again, all about the artificial constructs. We as people have made some pretty cool things over the decades, in the midst of a lot of mess, and we think that some of them deserve to be seen in the flesh so to speak… Or rather, in the concrete.

LE VIADUC DE MILLAU, AVEYRON Designed by the French structural engineer Michel Virlogeux and British architect Norman Foster. It is the tallest bridge in the world with one mast’s summit at 1,125 ft above the base of the structure. FUN FACT: The bridge received the 2006 International Association for Bridge and Structural Engineering Outstanding Structure Award.


Part of enjoying life is living for the moment, so don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed before you make a list of what you should’ve done. Life is happening now, so start ticking things off that bucket list.

THE GUGGENHEIM, NYC Designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, the cylindrical museum building, wider at the top than the bottom is one of the 20th century’s most important architectural landmarks. The museum’s collection has grown organically over the last eight decades from Solomon R. Guggenheim’s original collection. FUN FACT: The Guggenheim museum played a part in the Daredevil, What If and Thor comics.


WALT DISNEY CONCERT HALL, LA Designed by Frank Gehry and funded by Walt Disney’s widow, Lillian Disney. The planning started in 1987, but only officially opened in October 2003. Construction stalled from 1994 to 1996, as additional funds were required. FUN FACT: The whole building cost $130 million, plus an additional $110 million for the parking garage.


EMPIRE STATE BUILDING, NYC The Empire State Building is a 102-story skyscraper located in Midtown Manhattan, NYC. Built in 1931, it stood as the world’s tallest building for 40 years, until completion of the World Trade Centre in 1972. FUN FACT: In 1983, for King Kong’s 50th anniversary, a huge 90-foot inflatable King Kong was placed on the building mast by artist Robert Vicino.



Designed by architect Richard Rogers, The Dome was originally used to house the Millennium Experience, a major exhibition celebrating the beginning of the third millennium. FUN FACT: It was featured in the pre-title sequence of The World Is Not Enough, culminating in Bond rolling down the roof of the Dome.

Set up by the Arts Council of Great Britain, it annually commissions international architects to design a pavilion on the gallery’s lawn that provides a unique showcase for contemporary architectural practice. FUN FACT: The pavilion is not only a structure of beauty, but it is also host to a special programme of film screenings, talks, the BBC proms and café.

BEIJING STADIUM, BEIJING Located at the Olympic Green, the stadium cost $423 million. The design implemented steel beams in order to hide supports for the retractable roof; giving the stadium the appearance of a bird’s nest. Temperature and airflow of every surface were optimised to increase ventilation. FUN FACT: The eastern and western stands are higher than northern and southern stands, in order to improve sightlines.

BURJ KHALIFA, DUBAI Designed by Owings and Merrill’s Adrian Smith, this is the tallest man-made structure in the world, at 2,722 ft. The project’s completion coincided with the global financial crisis of 2007–2012, leading to high vacancies and foreclosures. FUN FACT: Owings and Merrill also designed the Willis Tower (formerly the Sears Tower) in Chicago and the new One World Trade Centre in New York City.





The news we read in the newspapers and see on the television is so negative that it can often feel like the media are conspiring to get you down in the dumps. That’s why The Best You is bringing you snippets of good news.

No bully for you


ullying is an epidemic across the world, and it can go far beyond just making someone have a bad day. It can psychologically affect victims causing them to grow up into insecure or violent adults, and has in some cases even driven children to suicide. Gerry Orz, a sixth-grader from Rancho Palos Verdes, California, has managed to get a bill

passed in the California state government. This bill declares 12 December a ‘Day of Silence’ to officially honour the victims of bullying who cannot speak for themselves. Last year, Gerry wrote and directed two short films about bullying, focussing on the fact that it happens in younger age groups more than people think. His top tip for bullying is, “Tell a trusted adult, it will help you.”



hen you think of a CEO of a large corporation, you probably imagine some demanding guy in a suit who doesn’t suffer fools or share his wealth. Well, Yang Yuanqing, Chief Executive Officer of the Lenovo Group, is here to challenge your stereo-

types. For the second year running, Yuanqing will share $3.25 million of his annual bonus with 10,000 employees. “This is quite rare, especially for a chairman of a Chinese company, to use his personal money as a bonus to reward employees,” said Kirk Yang, a managing director at Barclays Plc in Hong Kong. Gina Qiao, senior vice

president of human resources of Lenovo said in a memo, “This payment is personally funded by Yuanqing. He believes that he has the responsibility as an owner of the company, and the opportunity as our leader, to ensure all of our employees understand the impact they have on building Lenovo.”

TECH-SAVVY GRANDPARENTS Most grandparents these days can barely operate a mobile phone, but these grandparents developed an iPad app that allows them to spend quality time with their families. 3,000 miles away. With FamZoom, you can read, doodle, shop or chat in real time. Whatever you draw or move on the iPad in your lap shows up on their screen too.





BOLLYWOOD Long before this shiny India we now know emerged, Bollywood had taken a Western medium and converted it into a wholly Indian product. Bollywood aficionado Mihir Bose tells us about the Mumbai-based film industry.


nlike other

Western inventions, which took many years to get to India, cinema arrived less than seven months after the first film was shown in Paris in December 1895. Coincidentally, the Parisian show took place in Saloon Indien and was decked out in Indian décor with the lavish basement hall adorned with sumptuous Oriental rugs. Within six months Indian audiences had seen some of these films. Cinema had come at the right time

with growing urban masses requiring entertainment and it found Indians who could use the medium to tell very Indian stories. Nobody did it better than the father of the Indian cinema, Dadasaheb Phalke. Inspired by a film about the Life of Christ, which he saw in a tent in Mumbai, he made Raja Harishchandra. Screened at Bombay’s Olympia Theatre on 21 April 1913, it marked the birth of Bollywood. What also made it remarkable was this story from Mahabharata, one of the great mythological legends


MAIN PICTURE Bollywood films are all about fun and beauty

of Hinduism, was a tale of goodness. In striking contrast, three years later D.W. Griffith’s made his classic The Birth of a Nation, a celebration of white racism with white actors blacked up to portray blacks as beasts preying on white women. From the start, Bollywood had a universal appeal. Its arrival in the west may be recent but its attraction for the rest of the world, particularly the non-Anglo-Saxon world, has long been established. This includes much of the Middle East, North Africa, Latin America and even Eastern Europe. Bollywood is so popular in Egypt that the films are restricted to protect the indigenous film industry. It was one of Bollywood’s classic films, Mother India, that inspired the

MIHIR BOSE Ethiopian Germina Haile to become a filmmaker. References to Bollywood films can even be found in Alexander Solzhenitsyn’s Cancer Ward, where the character Zoya was inspired by Awara. The filmmaker Raj Kapoor, one of the legends of Bollywood, became a great Soviet star and with the Soviet block frowning on Hollywood, Bollywood supplied a need and fuelled the dreams of many in eastern Europe. But what many did not know was how Bollywood had inverted Hollywood. A Hollywood movie is generally based on a book or a play. The film has a script and is shot according to a strict timetable. In Bollywood the script is almost the last thing that is written, often being written as the actors and actresses are on the set getting ready to shoot. Bollywood’s starting point is a director verbally telling the story to the star, usually male. He knows that if he sells the story to the star, he can use his name to secure funding usually from family controlled production companies. The mechanics of making a movie also differ from West to East. In a Hollywood movie both the action and the words are shot together, but in Bollywood it does not matter what the actors or actresses say on the set. This is because later on in a studio they will


DID YOU KNOW ?  First released in 1984, My Dear Kuttichathan is the first 3-D film made in India, produced by Maliampurackal Appachan of Navodaya studio in Kerala. It was dubbed in Hindi and released as Chhota Chetan in 1997. More scenes were added in Tamil and it was then released as Chutti Chathan.  While, Bollywood made its first movie in 1899, Hollywood’s first movie was released in 1907 which makes Bollywood older than Hollywood.

As India changes, Bollywood prospers because of its ability to adapt. It has survived the arrival of television. record the words that will be dubbed onto the visuals. The cast members also don’t sing the songs, but rather mouth the words. The songs are sung by so-called playback singers, a very Bollywood term, and these playback singers are the equivalent of the rock stars of the west. All this reflects the very different way Indians see entertainment. While Westerners have watertight divisions of entertainment: drama, comedy, tragedy, etc., India mixes them all together. As the great Indian film maker Shyam Benegal puts it: “The Bollywood film has everything in it, much like our food, because otherwise we don’t feel satisfied. So having songs an Indian film

BELOW LEFT Bollywood actors putting on a stage show

BELOW LEFTMIDDLE The singing and dancing is really quite magical

BELOW RIGHT-MIDDLE Bollywood’s most famed actress, Aishwarya Rai

BELOW RIGHT One of Bollywood’s most celebrated actors, Aamir Khan

does not make it a musical. [In] a Western musical, [the music] actually takes a story forward. In Indian films, songs may sometimes interrupt, sometimes they are part of the story, it’s variable. Indian movies make the audience cry, laugh and make them enjoy the songs by tapping their feet to the music, all this in one movie.” As India changes, Bollywood prospers because of its ability to adapt. It has survived the arrival of television, piracy, the Mumbai mafia and the undoubted use of untaxed black-market money. By constantly producing new myths Bollywood keeps renewing itself and drawing new adherents. You can visit Mihir’s website at www.mihirbose.com













Great reading, viewing and listening to empower, entertain, enrich, delight and enhance. The Best You rounds up classics and new books and media products that will make such a positive difference in your life.

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.� – Groucho Marx




Now published in over 42 languages, this Number One International Bestseller gently offers answer’s to life’s biggest questions as well as a practical process to help you create prosperity, vitality, happiness and inner peace. This inspiring tale provides a step-by-step approach to living with greater courage, balance, abundance, and joy. A wonderfully crafted fable, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari tells the extraordinary story of Julian Mantle, a lawyer forced to confront the spiritual crisis of his out-of-balance life. On a life-changing odyssey to an ancient culture, he discovers powerful, wise, and practical lessons that teach us to: • Develop Joyful Thoughts • Follow Our Life’s Mission and Calling • Cultivate Self-Discipline and Act Courageously • Value Time as Our Most Important Commodity • Nourish Our Relationships • Live Fully, One Day at a Time




A captivating story that teaches as it delights.” – Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist





What do dreams mean? How important is childhood, really? Why do we forget this – and remember that? There’s nothing more fascinating – or frightening – than the ins and outs of the human mind. But understanding the complex links between our brains, our emotions, and our behavior can be challenging. This book unravels even the most arcane mysteries of psychology, including: The human drive for food, sex, and other desires, what happens when thinking and emotions go awry, why we fall in love with one person and not another, how we can develop a strong sense of self, and when traumatic events can change who we are. Scientific information is coupled with real - life examples to help you grasp the basic principles and theories of psychology. You’ll be able to achieve a better understanding of yourself – and everyone else around you, too!




It’s easy to understand and written in a way that makes the subject interesting.” – K. Godwin





Hollywood may define our idea of movies, but it is the city of Bombay on the west coast of India that is now the centre of world cinema. Every year, the Indian film industry produces more than a 1,000 feature films; every day 14 million Indians go to a movie and a billion more people a year buy tickets for Indian movies than for Hollywood ones. The men and women who create these movies are even more remarkable and it is this fantastic, rich, diverse story, a veritable Indian fairyland, that Mihir Bose, a native of Bombay, tells in the first comprehensive history of this major social and cultural phenomenon. Bollywood movies may only recently have begun to be noticed in the West, but they have long defined the very concept of cinema for many millions around the globe. While the name Bollywood echoes and acknowledges its bastard American parentage, the son has long since taken over from the father.




The first comprehensive history of India’s film industry is pure entertainment.” – The Observer





This book offers the most effective and simple way of getting off to sleep that doesn’t involve counting sheep – a method known as mindfulness meditation. This is the first book to really use mindfulness as a way of getting and staying asleep. A sleep problem is not unrelated to other problems such as anxiety, worry, regret, depression, anger and stress. These problems do not just suddenly disappear when we hit the pillow at night; they turn in to sleep problems. In this new book, you will find easy exercises that you can put in to practice over seven weeks that will enable you to have a good night’s sleep. Even if you only have 15 minutes to spare a day, these simple meditations will have a positive impact on the mind and body and allow a restful night.




If you read attentively and follow the program of exercises with due patience, you will come away not only with changed sleeping habits, but changed lives.” – Huffington Post


WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET BY ALAN SUGAR Alan Sugar was born in 1947 and brought up on a council estate in Clapton, in Hackney. As a kid, he watched his dad struggle to support the family, never knowning from one week to the next if he’d have a job. It had a huge impact on him, fuelling a drive to succeed that was to earn him a sizeable personal fortune. Now he describes his amazing journey, from schoolboy enterprises like making and selling his own ginger beer to setting up his own company at nineteen; from Amstrad’s groundbreaking ventures in hi-fi and computers, which made him the darling of the stock exchange, to the dark days when he nearly lost it all; from his pioneering deal with Rupert Murdoch to his boardroom battles at Tottenham Hotspur FC. He takes us into the world of The Apprentice, and describes his appointment as advisor to the government and elevation to the peerage. Like the man himself, this autobiography is forthright, funny and sometimes controversial.




He tells the story with characteristic wit and honesty, adding enough juicy bits of gossip to keep non-business readers onside.” – Director Magazine






he Sir Bobby’s Breakthrough Online Charity Auction is back for a second year and better than ever. Taking place from 10 – 27 October, Sir Bobby’s Breakthrough online auction is aiming to raise an ambitious £1million in memory of football legend, Sir Bobby Robson. Considered one of England’s greatest managers, Sir Bobby inspired sporting stars and people across the country. It was this inspiration, warmth and passion that has motivated sport’s biggest names and leading businesses to get behind the Sir Bobby’s Breakthrough online auction. The online auction will see website visitors bid for a range of luxurious holidays, artwork, spa getaways and once-in-alifetime experiences – all the while supporting worthwhile charities. Confirmed auction items include a Tottenham Hotspur experience, attending a training session, a signed jersey and

lunch with Manager Andre Villas-Boas, a VIP trip to next year’s F1 in Monaco by private ‘Eclipse’ jet, a week sailing on a luxury catamaran ‘Akasha,’ all inclusive for ten people, around the British Virgin Isles (valued at £43,000), incredible sporting artwork by Ben Mosley and flights, accommodation and match tickets, lunch with acclaimed actor Bill Nighy, as Kieron Dyer’s personal guest, to see Real versus Barcelona in the ‘Clasico’. The auction, proudly backed by BT Sport as its headline supporter and former England midfielder Kieron Dyer as ambassador, will raise crucial funds for the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation, Breakthrough Breast Cancer and two Suffolk Hospitals. For more information on how to get involved, visit: sirbobbysbreakthrough.com b

Have you always wanted to sit down face-to-face with Tottenham Hotspur Manager Andrew Villas-Boas? Or enjoy a lunch with Bill Nighy? How about watching a Real Madrid vs. Barcelona game as a guest of Kieron Dyer? Well, now you have the chance to do it all and much more in what is possibly the greatest ever sports auction!

KIERON DYER, SIR BOBBY’S BREAKTHROUGH ONLINE CHARITY AUCTION AMBASSADOR, COMMENTS: “I am so proud to continue Sir Bobby’s legacy as an ambassador for the Sir Bobby’s Breakthrough Online Charity Auction. Sir Bobby was a wonderful man and was so respected by the football community for his passion and integrity. During my time at Newcastle United I saw firsthand the strength of Sir Bobby’s character and his kindness. I urge everyone across the country to please donate an auction item so we can reach our target of £1million and continue Sir Bobby’s legacy.”

OTHER WORTHY CAUSES WE SUPPORT Katie Piper Foundation www.katiepiperfoundation.org.uk

Teenage Cancer Trust www.teenagecancertrust.org

10 million metres www.alexflynn.co.uk

War Child www.warchild.org.uk

Sebastian's Action Trust www.sebastiansactiontrust.org

Children Of The Night www.childrenofthenight.org

SMA Trust

Bosom Buddies UK

The Children’s Trust









What do you want to be remembered for? What are your relationships like with those around you? How does life treat you - and how do you treat your life? There is so much good in you. Enrich your life with the passion you feel and the connections you make.

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THEY’VE GOT THAT MOBO WORKIN’ MOBO contributes a lot to emerging talents, like the MOBO Talent Competition

THAT WILL TEACH YOU Out-of-school children are a growing problem around the world. The Best You reports

LABOUR OF LOVE Filmmaker James Colquhoun tells us about his natural birthing experience





TC, the MOBO Awards’ official partner, collaborates with the winner to use its award winning technology to enrich the winners’ experience. The winner also has the exciting opportunity to work with award-winning director Sebastian Thiel, who will direct their music video. Nurturing talent, providing a platform for aspiring artists and finding the next big thing are all part of the MOBO ethos. MOBO UnSung encapsulates these values with an online competition to push talent out of the shadows and into the limelight giving a wider voice to unsigned artists with the grit and determination to make it big. Now entering its second year as a digital competition, the national contest presented by HTC offers the ultimate in

In its 18th year, the MOBO Organisation reenergises its MOBO UnSung talent competition with a new prize package to set undiscovered talent on the road to success in the music industry. ‘money can’t buy’ prizes for one lucky winner including exposure on MOBO.com, livefeeds to millions of mobile devices around the world, the chance to perform at this year’s MOBO nominations launch in September and a one year membership to the exclusive members club, The Hospital in London. New for 2013, SupaPass provides the ultimate mentoring package for the UnSung winner by giving vital social media training and


MAIN PICTURE MOBO Talent Competition winners, In’Sight

RIGHT MOBO puts a lot of time, energy and money into new talent

campaign management to ensure they succeed in the ever changing music landscape. Base79, YouTube marketers, will also give the winner invaluable advice on how to grow, maximise and monetise their own YouTube Channel. Kanya King MBE, founder of the MOBO Organisation commented:
“I am delighted to announce the second year of the MOBO UnSung competition presented by HTC. Over the past 18 years, MOBO has supported a huge amount of new and emerging talent which due to our platform went on to obtain chart topping success. It is with this legacy that we celebrate MOBO UnSung and search the country for the best in under heard talent. If you have got what it takes, MOBO wants you to step up to the challenge to make your mark on the music industry”. MOBO UnSung is not just a talent competition. It’s a



RIGHT In’Sight at the MOBO Award nominations

FAR RIGHT Kanya King, the founder of MOBO BELOW In’Sight with Emeli Sandé

massive platform for exposing new vocal talent and scouting the best of UK urban talent. In this digital era where technology is so powerful and used as a main communication tool, MOBO UnSung is offering great new talent the chance to take their career to a new level and to maximise the digital opportunities that lies ahead. MOBO has helped launch the careers of many over their 18 years, from the likes of chart topping urban group N Dubz, taking their dream to the main stage. MOBO wants all artists to have the best possible chance of achieving success. Few competitions provide the spectrum of information needed when you are just starting out in the music business, as well as a window onto the complex facets of the industry guided by the finest experts.

MOBO has helped launch the careers of many, from the likes of chart topping urban group N Dubz.

AND THE 2013 MOBO UNSUNG WINNER IS : IN'SIGHT! After scouting the nation to find the best unheard talent, In'Sight proved to be the top choice for MOBO fans. They scored the most votes and wowed the MOBO Team with their fantastic voice and stage presence. The prizes include:  The opportunity to perform at the MOBO 18 nominations launch party  A brand new HTC One phone  Having their music video filmed by award winning director Sebastian Thiel  One-year membership to The Hospital Club

“We are extremely grateful, and humbled for winning Mobo’s Unsung Competition 2013,” In’Sight said. “We were not expecting to be winners, or even finalists! Everyone who voted for gave us a sense of belief in ourselves and our talent, and we just want to keep doing this, not just because we are passionate about music, but also for everyone who believes in us. So we want to say a big thank you to everyone who voted for us, and to the MOBO Unsung Competition for giving unsigned and unrecognised artists like ourselves a platform to showcase our talents.”



THAT WILL TEACH YOU All over the world there are kids who should be in school, but aren’t. The struggle for an education is far rifer in developing countries, but the truth is that education problems are global. The Best You looks at some of the problem areas, and more importantly, some of the solutions. MAIN PICTURE Many children in third-world countries are not in school


n 1979, Pink Floyd released their seminal rock opera in which they sang “We don’t need no education”. Apart from the fact that the grammatical structure of that sentence clearly points to the fact that they did, indeed, need an education, their entire premise is incorrect. We do need an education. We all do. Of course, there is value in knowledge, but at the root of it, we need an education to have a fulfilling

life in the 21st century. It’s true that not everyone is a born academic, enthused at the idea of discussing poetry, philosophy and politics, but we all need to learn a trade. A survey in 2009 showed that 10 per cent of children around the world were not in school. That is 67 million children, and Ethiopia alone accounted for two million of these children. This represents 16 per cent of the country’s primary school-age population.


The global percentage has fallen from 2000 when it was 16 per cent, but there are still far, far too many children not in school.

The good news is this is a major drop from the statistics in 1999 when the figure reached 63 per cent. The global percentage has fallen from 2000, when it was 16 per cent, but there are still far, far too many children not in school. Because of certain fundamentalist religious beliefs, the lack of education affects girls more than boys with 53 percent of the out-ofschool children being girls. And although there is progress, it’s not happening fast enough. “Between 2000 and 2005, we saw a dramatic reduction in the number of children excluded from primary education. But since then, the rate of change has slowed down considerably,” says Hendrik van der Pol, Director of the UNESCO Institute for Statistics. “At this rate, we will not achieve universal primary education by 2015. So it is time to raise the alarm among governments

and international agencies globally.” Kevin Watkins, Director of the Education for All Global Monitoring Report, reiterates these facts: “It is increasingly difficult to reach those children who remain excluded from education,” he says. “Governments must commit not just to achieving national goals, but to seriously tackling disparities based on wealth, location, ethnicity, gender and other markers for disadvantage. More must also be done to protect and provide education opportunities for the millions of children deprived of education due to conflict.” Between 1999 and 2009, the amount of out-of-school children was more than 30 per cent in Burundi, Madagascar, Mali, Mozambique, Niger and the United Republic of Tanzania. Much of this progress has been attributed to the abolition of school fees. However, the proportion of children out of school remains very high in the following countries: Equatorial Guinea (46 per cent), Côte d’Ivoire (43 per cent), Niger (41 per cent), Burkina Faso (36 per cent) and the Central African Republic (31 per cent). In a lot of Africa, children are not receiving an education because of financial means. Either their parent cannot afford the school fees, or the transport fares for the children

to get to school, or often both. Also, when children reach a certain age, giving up school and finding menial employment is preferable so the family can bring in as much money as possible. Of course this doesn’t make sense in the long run because if a child finishes school, he or she is much more likely to get a better paying job after graduation. But when you are living in abject poverty, the main focus is to get food on the table. But there are other reasons, such as religious reasons living in conflict areas, that children are not being educated properly.



ABOVE Children squeeze into tiny classrooms with broken desks

In the areas of Pakistan that are under Taliban rule, such as the Swat Valley, girls were at times banned from receiving an education. Less than a year ago, a teenage education activist named Malala Yousafzai was shot in the head in an assassination attempt by the Taliban because of her fight for the rights of girls to get an education. Miraculously she survived and has since made a full recovery and in July, she gave a very moving speech to the United Nations about a girl’s right to learn. b

When children reach a certain age, giving up school and finding menial employment is preferable

ENOUGH WITH THE PROBLEMS So, we know that the fact that there are so many out-of-school children is a big problem, but what can you do to help? War Child, which is one of the charities that we support at The Best You, has a programme that helps the 40 million children who are currently out of school get an education. You can support this cause by following this link: http://www.warchild.org.uk/get-involved.



Are you interested in knowing more about natural birth? Australian filmmaker James Colquhoun of FoodMatters fame tells us about his and his partner’s, experience.


ou Are Welcomed, You Are Loved, You Are Accepted! We would say this on a daily basis to baby, as we knew this was important in making our child feel welcomed and loved. It would help to develop a strong connection to our voices, which they can connect with from the third trimester. This practice is backed by Bruce Lipton, who wrote Biology Of Belief, and helps connect with the baby’s subconscious mind in early life. Laurentine and I held the very strong belief that birth

A LABOUR ofLOVE BELOW Professionals are there to help


is a natural process and not a medical emergency. We appreciate that there is no place like a hospital when the safety of mom and baby are compromised and you need emergency care. However, we believed that everything should be allowed to progress as naturally as possible for as long as possible before any intervention, if any was needed. We opted for a home birth with two midwives and a doula. We worked with a famous birth centre in Los Angeles, which resonated with our beliefs

about how birth should be, and it had the professionals to back them up. Laurentine’s water broke at 7:00am on Sunday the 7th of the 7th. I’m not one for numerology, but even I found this interesting. The team came to the house to set up a birthing pool and all their midwife medical accoutrements. Laurentine’s contractions were getting stronger and stronger and she quickly dilated to seven centimetres in a few hours. Part of our team and planning was to have a


Upon hearing my voice he immediately opened his eyes and it was the most divine experience. was in a hypnotic trance for most of the birth. In between contractions we would count her down into hypnosis, which we had been training for over a few months. This brought the pain down dramatically and increased the pleasure of the early stages of labour before the transition into the pushing stages. As the labour progressed, baby had turned and was not in an ideal position despite the fact he had been in a perfect position for months leading up to the birth. Typically, this is a much more painful birth as the back of the baby’s head (hard part) is rubbing against the mothers lower spine. In a hospital environment, this would call for an episiotomy and sucking the baby out with a vacuum, or performing a caesarean section. Given that we wanted to do all we could naturally, we had some other options up our sleeve, we called a chiropractor in mid-labour to turn the baby. Our midwives made a call to a local chiropractor who was a specialist in pre-natal care. It was Sunday at around 2pm and he made the trip out to Santa Monica from Hollywood just for us! He began deep tissue massage around the hips,


RIGHT There’s no greater joy than a new life

back and spine, and although Laurentine was mid-labour and fully dilated, she was in total ecstasy for two hours as he worked on her and baby. He worked with her through contractions helping her to surrender and allow baby to fully relax. He also adjusted her hips, which sounded like an AK-47 firing rounds on the first twist! He also massaged baby and then he flipped! He turned into a near perfect position. Transition and pushing took a while as baby came closer to this world and the team worked with Laurentine to guide her through certain positions until we found ourselves on the birthing stool (a chair with no bottom) in the meditation room overlooking the ocean, ready for him to come. As he came closer, I moved from behind Laurentine to the


BELOW Try to relax and enjoy the process

front so that I could catch him. His head came out and cleared to his neck as I cupped his head in my hands and whispered to him: you are welcomed, loved and accepted. Upon hearing my voice he immediately opened his eyes and it was the most divine experience I have ever had in my entire life. His body then quickly emerged and I caught him in my hands. I held him briefly before passing him to Laurentine to place on her chest and connect the parental bond and help to kick in the oxytocin, or love hormone. It was a BOY! We named him Hugo Colquhoun. b

The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out now: www.thebestyou.co

Painless Childbirth By Tina Taylor

Reiki for Life By Penelope Quest

Trying to get Pregnant (and Succeeding)

l What

l The Complete Guide

By Marisa Peer

is it that makes birth easy for some women and difficult for others?

to Reiki Practice

l Tools

to get pregnant quickly and easily





8th May 2014


An evening with Richard Bandler 9th May 2014



PRACTITIONER OF NLP 11th – 19th October 2014

Book today on +44(0)207 927 6500 www.nlplifetraining.com info@nlplifetraining.com





Feeling good about yourself makes the joy shine from your eyes and your skin. It makes others respond to you in new ways and it gives you a whole new outlook on life. Looking good draws others to you and enhances your life in ways you haven’t yet imagined. It’s great to find new ways to feel and look good now!

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DON’T LOOK YOUR AGE r Rita Rakus of the Rita Rakus Clinic tells us about D the latest anti-aging technology

OBESITY IN KIDS Greg Small, SkillsActive’s Registers Operations Manager, talks about obesity in kids


NOT UNDER THE KNIFE With over 20 years of experience specialising in non-invasive cosmetic solutions and dubbed by the media as ‘The London Lip Queen’, it’s no wonder Dr Rita Rakus has attracted a following of celebrities to her Knightsbridge clinic. Here Dr Rakus shares her top treatment picks for turning back the clock. 50 | WWW.THEBESTYOUMAGAZINE.CO



ore and more frequently I am asked for cosmetic solutions with a gradual effect that are not immediately noticeable, and non-surgical treatments are the perfect choice. Increasingly, executive men and women want to have non-invasive procedures to get ahead in business and feel more confident, and quickfixes can ignite embarrassing discussions amongst friends and colleagues. My patients don’t want to be asked what they’ve had done across the boardroom! Effective, noninvasive treatments that achieve results over a longer period of time ensure an instantly refreshed and natural look with no downtime. I’m a big supporter of Ultherapy, which is a unique, non-surgical treatment that uses ultrasound to tighten, tone and lift loose skin on the face and neck. Its FDA approved with zero downtime and is the first and only ultrasound device approved for use in facial aesthetics. It uses ultrasound imaging, allowing me to see the layers of tissue targeted during treatment and ensure that the energy is delivered precisely to where it will be most productive. Ultherapy is a highly effective treatment that takes around 30 to 60 minutes and directs sound waves not only into the skin, but also deep under the skin to address the

fibromuscular layer – the layer typically addressed in cosmetic surgery. In just one treatment, you can see the visible effects of lifting and tightening as well as the invisible result collagen production, which helps the skin maintain its youthfulness. We usually see an improvement immediately, and then continuous improvement over time. I recently demonstrated the effectiveness of this treatment on Presenter Anna Richardson on the Channel 4 Anti-Ageing Show ‘How not to get old’. Anna saw fantastic results with just one Ultherapy treatment, stating that she is massively impressed and that it is a fantastic option if you’re not planning on going under the knife. Natural, non-invasive treatments are fast becoming the future of the cosmetic industry as technical developments in cosmetic procedures continue to advance. An example of this kind of new, exciting technology is Platelet Rich Plasma (PRP) Injections. PRP injections have been widely publicised as the ‘Vampire Facelift’ and many celebrities who are opting for this effective anti-ageing solution have gone public to praise the results they are seeing. Using concentrated amounts of your body’s own growth factors which are introduced to the skin using micro injections, this natural treatment combats several signs of ageing including, frown

RECOMMENDED READING Forever Young By Marisa Peer  How

to Look and Feel Five Years Younger in Ten Days

I am the first in the UK to offer a new treatment at my clinic named The Angel Lift™


lines, crow’s feet and worry lines; whilst also improving blood supply to the face, leaving skin rejuvenated, refreshed and glowing, and all using no foreign or manmade substance, just the body’s own cells! I am the first in the UK to offer a new treatment at my Knightsbridge clinic named The Angel Lift™, which combines PRP injections with fractional laser treatment and fat transfer to produce visible and natural results. I am also offering the Party Glow HydraFacial treatment which promises healthy, sparkling skin. The HydraFacial is the only hydradermabrasion procedure that combines cleansing, exfoliation, extraction, hydration and antioxidant protection all in one. In addition, I have now launched a new stem cell serum and cream from the world-renowned dermatologist Dr Phillip Levy, based in Geneva, Switzerland. Supercharged ArganCellActive complex is scientifically proven to boost the vitality of dermal stem cells and can repair skin ageing. b For more information please visit www.DrRitaRakus.com

The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out now: www.thebestyou.co

Top to Toe By NHJ

The Jimmy Choo Story By Lauren Goldstein Crowe

 The Ultimate Guide to Becoming Who You Want to be

 Power, Profits and the Pursuit of the Perfect Shoe





We all have a duty of care for our children, to ensure we give them the best possible opportunities to lead healthy, productive lives. Greg Small, Operations Manager at the Register of Exercise Professionals, explains how.


o prevent a future epidemic of adults with increasing weight-related health problems, we must tackle the problem where it starts – in early childhood. Shocking data from the recent Millennium Cohort Study reported that half of all UK seven-year-olds are not getting the recommended 60 minutes of physical activity each day. Our children must be encouraged to be more active,

which means showing them how much fun they can have away from sedentary pursuits such as watching television or YouTube, chatting with friends on Facebook, or playing electronic games. The past decade has seen a fourfold increase in the number of children and teenagers admitted to hospital with obesity-related conditions. Researchers at Imperial College London looked at NHS statistics for children and young people


MAIN PICTURE Having fun while staying active is the key to healthy kids

ABOVE Get your kids involved in exrecise classes

aged five to 19 where obesity was recorded in the diagnosis. In 2009 there were 3,806 children admitted to hospital for obesity-related conditions, compared with 872 in 2000. Parents can be proactive in encouraging their children to be involved in fun, ‘real life’ activities, thus establishing a life-long pattern of fitness and health. To help them do this, parents can call on the help of REPs professionals – individuals who are trained to the required

GREG SMALL FEEL & LOOK GOOD standard to help children tackle obesity. REPs is the Register of Exercise Professionals, and is owned and operated by SkillsActive. The Register is available online and lists all those who have the correct expertise in exercise. For instance, REPs Level 4 professionals help consumers find professionals trained to the required standards in obesity and diabetes management, and who have the necessary skills representing current best clinical practice. Parents must be more involved in boosting early enthusiasm and excitement for healthy activities. This can include activities the whole family can enjoy together, such as going for a fun bike ride, planning a day-trail hike, perhaps with a healthy packed lunch, or going for a family swim at the local sports centre. Running, swimming and playground activities are also all great exercises for young children – all activities that children can do with parental encouragement. More mainstream sports, such as football and tennis, are also great exercise options, and can teach children the value of team spirit and confidence, which they will learn while having fun doing the activity. It’s important that parents receive guidance on activities that children can enjoy, while also learning the correct exercise habits. When children are enjoying physical activities, they see it more as fun than a formal routine. In turn, this leads them to establish a healthy habit, which will develop into adult daily routines of physical activity. The Millennium Cohort Study, published in BMJ Open, also found the percentage of girls achieving the recommended levels of daily exercise was only 38%, compared to boys’ level of

ABOVE Poor diets and inactivity are causing obesity in kids

By working together, parents and experts can ensure that children regard physical activity as something that is normal and fun, which they will naturally want to enjoy doing every day.

participation of 63%. The 6,497 participants were seven-year-old to eight-yearold children. Fortunately, there’s also a REPs category for physical Activity for Children specifically designed for under 16s. The REPs Level 2 category includes a qualification for those working with young people. There are immense health and economic implications of obesity-related conditions, especially when they start in childhood. We know that significantly reducing sedentary time among young children means they will maintain a safe, healthy physical weight, and life-long health. By working together, both parents and professionals can ensure that children regard physical activity as something that is normal and fun, which they will naturally want to enjoy doing every day. By doing so, we can each play our important part in making sure that fun, happy childhood play develops into routines of physical exercise, and healthy, fit and active adult lives.

TOP TIPS Getting your kids to exercise can be a challenge, so here our some tips to get them up and moving! l Ensure that they have fun! Children have most fun when they are surrounded by people willing to be active with them. Come up with new and exciting challenges that will maintain their attention, and keep them active. l Keep a good schedule! Exercise is great, but the last thing you want to do is burn your child out. Ensure that you come up with a good schedule, and don’t overdo the exercise. It’s also essential that children stay regularly hydrated. l Follow your own advice! Kids lead by example, so make sure to give them a good one. For more information visit www.skillsactive.com






Wealth [n] “happiness,” also “prosperity in abundance of possessions or riches” from Middle English “wele”, meaning “well-being”. Riches [n] “valued possessions, money, property,” Making money and bringing greater wealth to EVERY area of your life...

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POWER OF COMMUNCATION r Ro tells us all about the importance of D communicating with clients

TOP 10 THINGS GREAT LEADERS DO Robin Sharma knows all about leadership and what the great ones do

GIVE YOURSELF A GOOD REP Having a good reputation in business is important, Tamsen Garrie explains





y observations have led me to discover that there is one skill that has become more sought after by businessmen and women – the art of communicating with impact. Those who learn this skill get the greatest results on both a personal and business level. Specifically, I am referring to verbal communication and the use of video and live presentations to communicate with clients and associates. We are in an age where poor communication leads to the loss of customers, employees and potentially business failure. Whether you are a CEO or just starting off your business, this is a skill that you must invest time in learning. Impactful communication can benefit you whether you are presenting your business (or yourself) to a bank, to a group of potential investors, to an audience of potential buyers or talking to your employees. Great success requires great leadership, and great leadership requires outstanding communication at multiple levels. You can start by answering these questions:

• •

What results are you looking to achieve? What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to communicating with your clients or with others?

Responses I have received include: • We want to increase our sales • Increase our conversion rates • Getting people to understand how we are different to other people • Selling my ideas in front of audiences • Helping our sales team present more professionally • Winning new investors The deeper you dig, the clearer you become on the actions necessary for you to be able to communicate your message with impact.b


Dr Ro has been speaking to audiences around the world for the past 20 years, training people on the power of communication. Through impactful communication he has helped generate sales into the tens of millions.

STARTING TIPS The deeper you dig, the clearer you become on the actions necessary. MAIN PICTURE Learn to communicate well

BELOW Communication is a group activity

Creating Values Alignment This may not seem like a communication related topic, but it is one of the most important aspects of any business. Once you have clarity on the basic needs of the people you deal with you can start to make sure you align your business and your service with those needs. Master the skill of speaking to audiences. This is a growing area for businesses across the world. Business owners, directors and senior management alike are expected to be able to communicate a strong, purposeful, engaging and, of course, “sales” related message about themselves and their product. Utilise the power of online videos. You cannot and will not be able to escape this area of growth. From a simple landing page on a website, YouTube or your own online digital TV channel, if you’re not exploiting these media, you are losing business. Make your message clear, open and easy for others to understand. Give massive value and they will return to watch you again. For more information visit





THE TOP THE JOB OF A LEADER IS TO GROW MORE LEADERS If you’re not building more leaders, then you’re not leading, you’re following. Your job is to help people do work they never dreamed they could do. Your job is to inspire people to own their talents, express their gifts and do the best work of their lives. That’s part of what it truly means to lead.

NOTHING HAPPENS UNTIL YOU MOVE Start small, dream huge, but begin today. Nothing happens until you take massive action. The sad reality is that procrastination is nothing more than the defence mechanism of choice used by scared people. If we actually acted on our visions, we’d become ultrasuccessful. And spectacular success brings responsibility, and that frightens most of us.

YOUR BEHAVIOUR REVEALS YOUR BELIEFS Complain all day long and you reveal a deeply ingrained set of beliefs that you are powerless and apathetic. Present work that has typos

Self-help guru Robin Sharma has distilled 10 of the most valuable and practical insights on leadership that he has taught to global corporate clients like. These ideas have helped them do some great things, and he hopes that they deliver the same results for you. MAIN PICTURE On your marks, get set, go! Time to be a leader BELOW Get ahead of the pack and lead your team

and poor wording and you express a belief that average is cool with you. Mistreat others and you reveal that you’re selfish–and disconnected from the beautiful humanity that surrounds you.

IDEAS ARE WORTHLESS WITHOUT EXECUTION I’d rather have an average idea that my team and I flawlessly execute than a genius-level idea with poor execution. The best leaders and organizations that win big are all about “less talk and more do”. Fewer meetings and more delivery. Less analysis and more action.



triple your rate of learning. Few things have served my professional career and the careers of the billionaires, Titans and CEOS I privately coach than this idea. Remember that genius is much less about natural talent and much more about out-studying, outpreparing, out-practising and out-learning everyone around you.

TAKE CARE OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND THE MONEY TAKES CARE OF ITSELF Leadership is about relationships. The smartest and most effective leaders understand that the game is about people: developing teammates, serving customers



and making the world better by the way you show up in it. Learn to listen like a master. Commit to being more inspirational. Keep your promises. Staggeringly great opportunities will come your way.

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RESPECT IS NOT GRANTED BUT EARNED A title, position and a large office do not guarantee people will respect you. You’ve got to earn that gift. And the quickest way to earn respect is to give it. No need to say much more.

DON’T CONFUSE MOVEMENT WITH PROGRESS According to The Financial Times we collectively spend 100 million minutes a day playing Angry Birds, but most people in business are spending their days being busy. I teach my clients a whole system of tactics: start your day at 5:00am, set five daily goals and get them done before leaving the office.

VICTIMS DON’T DO GIANT THINGS Victims make excuses while leaders drive exceptional results. You can spot a victim a mile away: they blame and complain and are negative and cynical. This day, and every one that follows for the rest of your life, offers a platform of possibility. And more you

use your power, the more powerful you become.

LIFE IS SHORT SO BE OF USE My dad often said, “Robin, when you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries while you rejoice.” I’ve always remembered my dad’s advice and carried it with me. To truly be a leader has nothing to do with ego-stroking, applause and fame, but rather making phenomenal contributions that make the world better and cause a lasting difference. To lead is to serve and to be of use. b

In the November issue of The Best You, we look at what it takes to overcome a phobia, films that have changed people's lives for the better and all the different types of therapy that are available these days. We also continue to look at health problems caused by obesity. All this and so much more. Looking forward to it!





"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently,” says the reputable business guru, Warren Buffet. Mentor and personal development coach Tamsen Garrie tells us about the importance of reputation in business.


eputation is the estimation or opinion in which a person, a company or a product is commonly held, by others. As we progress through life, we develop beliefs, values and behaviours that distinguish our character and it’s our character that defines who we

are and what we stand for. However, our reputation is something quite different. It’s driven by other people’s perception of our character and it is the by-product of the behaviour that we demonstrate repeatedly over time. It is the result not so much of what we say and do, but of what other people think and say about


MAIN PICTURE Be helpful and available to your clients for a good reputation

RIGHT Having a good reputation will increase your confidence

what we say and do. It’s often said that our reputation precedes us and for this reason it is incredibly important, especially in business. It is a great time-saver because it means that we don’t have to develop relationships with each and every person, company or product in order to make an assessment. If you look around you now at both your immediate and wider network, there will be some people with whom you identify based mainly, if not solely, on their reputation. Some of them you will have positive impressions of and perhaps even feel comfortable recommending to others, even though you haven’t had any direct contact with them. If you removed reputation from the equation, many of these people would simply be strangers with whom

you have little way of relating. Similarly, we are being evaluated every day by our peers, our clients and our friends both individually, and based on our associations with other people and groups. People are making judgements about us all the time based on their perception of who we are and what we stand for, and those judgements are often articulated to other people who then make judgements based on what they perceive and so it goes on. Perception is reality and so often reputation precedes reality, and that’s why it is so important. A ‘helpful’ reputation is one that is consistent regardless of the social group (work, social, family etc.) and which is formed through repeated, consistent behaviour over time. When your reputation is helpful it supports you, and when it is not, it closes doors. b

A ‘helpful’ reputation is one that is consistent regardless of the social group and which is formed through consistent behaviour over time.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO ENSURE THAT YOUR REPUTATION IS ‘HELPFUL’? Think about who you are and what you stand for and write those things down. Now think about what you want to achieve in your life, business and/or career and write those things down. Then think about how your current behaviour represents who you are and supports your goals: in your life, in your business, in your career, in your network and in your social interactions. Does your behaviour back-up who you present yourself to be? Now answer the following questions: • • • • •

What do you think other people think of you? What things do you know other people say about you? What things have been written about you, or relayed back to you? What do you know you are you ‘known’ for? How would you describe your reputation?

Once you have answered these questions, put a star next to the things about your current reputation that you are happy with, and circle the ones you’re not. Now answer the following questions: • • • •

What do you want people to think of you? What do you want people to say about you? What do you want people to read and hear about you? What do you want to be known for?

What are the gaps? What reputational qualities do you want to create? Write them down. And then write down the behaviour changes you need to make to make that happen. Ensuring that your behaviour reflects the things that are important to you, both in terms of how you are perceived and also in terms of what you need to ‘do’ to achieve your goals, will ensure that your reputation supports you in doing so. It’s not enough to simply BE that person. You need to be SEEN to be that person too. b









I had no control over the situation, but I did have control over me. So I started focusing on me."

The major factor was that I didn't like the way the plant was running."

A tale of utter system failure if there ever was one, Brian Banks is known these days for his ‘breath of fresh-air’ positive attitude and the big smile that is perpetually written on his face. Banks was raised in Long Beach, California and attended Long Beach Polytechnic High School, which is known for churning out NFL prospects. In 2002 Banks was on the field preparing for the upcoming high school season when he learned of the kidnapping and rape charges that had been levelled against him by a female classmate. A possible 41 years-to-life prison sentence loomed large, so Banks took a plea deal and, ending any possibility of a professional football career. Determined to prove himself innocent, he met with his accuser nearly ten years after entering prison. A private investigator secretly recorded the accuser’s confession. She admitted to lying and fabricating the events that had gotten Banks locked up and ruined his young life. After finally being fully-exonerated in 2012, Banks let go of the past and threw himself into making up for lost time, vigorously training for a shot at professional football. In 2013, he has finally made his dream a reality, making his NFL playing debut with the Atlanta Falcons.

Born and raised in the shadows of the behemoth Texas oil industry, she attended college in Texas and married an oil pipeline worker early on. Shortly after the dissolution of her marriage, Silkwood took on the job that would cast her into the national spotlight. She was hired as a chemical technician by Kerr-McGee, a nuclear fuel production facility. As the first woman to be elected to the bargaining committee of the Oil, Chemical & Atomic Workers Union, she was assigned to investigate health and safety issues at Kerr-McGee. In November 1974, Silkwood discovered her body contained 400 times the legal limit for plutonium contamination. She was later decontaminated safely, but the damage had been done and Silkwood believed she had all the ammunition she needed to take her safety claims against Kerr-McGee public. On the way to meet with a New York Times journalist interested in telling her story, Karen Silkwood was killed when her car ran off the road. Questions and suspicion have long surrounded the circumstances of her death, with many believing that she was killed because was about to become a high-profile whistle-blower. Her story was later portrayed in a 1983 Academy Award-nominated film starring Meryl Streep, who is pictured in character above.












Sometimes say things in the morning you spend the rest of the day trying to correct."

I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all.”

Born to Jamaican immigrants in 1958, Lenny Henry was funnier than most people in the world at a very young age. Once named one of the fifteen funniest black performers of all time, Henry is best known for co-founding the charity Comic Relief. The first time he appeared on television Lenny Henry won a talent show with an impersonation of Stevie Wonder. He later appeared in one of Britain’s first television comedy series whose principal players were mostly black, though he would soon after begin to shun mainstream comedy. Crafting a strong stand-up routine consisting of characters that simultaneously revered and satirized the British Black experience, Henry made no apologies for his polarising brand of comedy. It was while he was on this track that he co-founded the legendary charity Comic Relief. Formed with the goal of providing aid to Ethiopia in its time of famine, the charity has raised millions for that effort and more since its inception in 1985. Henry has been known to mix it up with acclaimed dramatic roles, as well as performing occasionally as a soul musician. With this forward-thinking approach to comedy and entertainment as a whole, Lenny Henry has proven that he is an entertainer who is anything but one-note.

Marie Antoinette lived and died at the height of true royalty. Born to Holy Roman Emperor Francis I and Empress Maria Theresa in Vienna, Austria in 1755 and raised amidst multilingual surroundings. Her education consisted of significant linguistic tutoring, but more emphasis was placed on refining manners and appearance. At just 15 years old, Marie Antoinette was married to Louis-Auguste. She was expected to get to work immediately on an heir, but they were not able to birth a child for seven years. The people of France viewed her as frivolous, selfcentred and only concerned with spending money while they starved. In 1778 she gave birth to a daughter. The child’s paternity was contested at the time, but not by King Louis who was very close with his child. By 1792 the French people had finally had enough of their King and Queen living lives of privilege while society crumbled. The monarchy was abolished and Louis XVI executed. Marie Antoinette was convicted of treason and put to an infamous death-by-guillotine. Her legend lives on today as a woman known for her whims and expensive taste, but whose devotion to her children and attempts to ‘lighten up’ the French Royal Court have simultaneously endeared her to popular culture.






TIPS MARISA PEER If it comes from a plant you can eat it. If it's made in a plant, you must avoid it. That means refined, processed food. Petrol is made in a plant, so is margarine. Food that's made in a plant is not even food. It never goes off, and it's just a cocktail of chemicals. Margarine will not decompose as it’s already so close to plastic, but cornflakes rice crisps and crisps also never grow mould. Sugar is the only food in the world that has no legal requirement for a sell by date. It will never go off as its already bleached, refined, processed and dead.

Here's another question to ask yourself when choosing food: Can I make this in my kitchen? Obviously, you could make hummus, guacamole, tapenade, peanut butter and popcorn, but you couldn't make margarine as you need a science lab to boil the fats at extremely high temperatures. You couldn't make crisps flavoured with cheese and onion powder, nor could you make Coca Cola. If you couldn't make it in a regular kitchen, you shouldn't be eating it.



Does Triphosphate Acetic Acid sound appetising to you? No. That's because it's not real. Stick to short ingredients lists—with around five ingredients—and remember if sugar is in the top three of that list, then that is the bulk ingredient. Just because something is low calorie or diet, doesn't mean it's healthy. One of Weight Watchers' secret ingredients is duck feathers, which they use to pad out their "light" cakes. If you read the ingredients on a tomato sauce bought in the shop, you'll see things like sugar, citric acid, and "natural flavouring." If you make it at home you only need tomatoes, olive oil, garlic and onions.

Trying to eat healthily becomes more and more confusing because so much food advice is conflicting. Marisa Peer gives us some tips that are the only advice you need in order to make the right food choices.

Some of the worst foods in the world are called “natural,” “barn fresh” or “farm fresh.” Words like “sunny delight” make the food sound good, but sunny delight is made of oil, sugar and colouring. Not really so delightful then. Don't be sucked in by a fancy name. Food companies spend a lot of money calling chocolate “heaven” or “dream” so that you will want it. Happy Meal, Sunrise Muffin, Sunshine Juice – these are all names of junk foods. The best foods that nature makes don't have a huge budget to make you want to buy them, but they are what your body wants.





The pace of change can sometimes bewilder, but also gives amazing opportunities to meet new people, discover new things and thrive. Bring out the best in you by discovering the latest innovations that will put you ahead of the pack.

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THE STRONGEST LINK With over 50,000 connections, Steven Burda in LinkedIn’s most connected member

TECHNICALLY SPEAKING Many gadgets are designed to improve your way of life. We look at some of the best






LinkedIn’s most connected member isn’t something that Steven Burda set out to achieve. “It just happened. I didn’t have any goals or set out to achieve anything,” he says of his sought-after social networking status. But he doesn’t do it just so he feels personally validated – according to Burda, his status has had very positive results regarding his career. “From early on in my LinkedIn membership I started making connections. I would get advise from people who were already using the network and I really learnt the value

of connections,” says Burda. “Getting to know people has also been a huge help. At some point, everyone is a stranger, but eventually you get to know them and they can become your friend, associate, and eventually business partners. Getting connected on LinkedIn is wise for any business professional.” For the uninitiated, let’s do a quick run down of what LinkedIn is. The concept was founded in 2002, but the platform was officially launched in 2003. It is to your career what Facebook is to your social life, allowing you to update your professional profile complete with past and present career experience and references from past colleagues. You can also connect and


Social media is a whole industry on it’s own these days. From the personal to the professional, there’s a platform for everything. The Best You chatted with Steven Burda who, with over 50,000 connections, is the most connected person on LinkedIn.

ABOVE Steven Burda has over 50,000 LinkedIn connections

interact with colleagues past, present and future, as well as just making contact people with whom have similar career interests. According to Burda, if you’re not linked in on LinkedIn, you really should be. “It’s a great platform, wherever you are starting out,” he says. “If you are serious about it, you can really get a lot out of it. You can get in touch with all kinds of people and learn about a variety of

different subjects. There are loads of informative articles, and, depending on your field, it can be very good for recruitment. You can also use it to promote your business or product.” But there’s more to Steven Burda than being LinkedIn’s most connected member. Of course, simply being active on social media doesn’t pay the bills. In order to do this, Burda is a financial analyst: “I have a master’s degree in finance and international business, so officially I am an financial analyst. But on the side I do social media consulting.” In his profile, Burda says his reason for being on LinkedIn “is to reconnect with family members, classmates, group and social circle members, former and present colleagues.” When asked why he prefers LinkedIn for this as opposed to Facebook, his answer is a simple one: “I think LinkedIn is more professional,” he says. “I use Facebook to share pictures with friends and family. It’s more personal. LinkedIn is more appropriate for my professional requirements and becoming

aware of job prospects.” He admits to being into all social media, but it’s LinkedIn that meets all his business requirements. He may be the most connected person on LinkedIn, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have standards when it comes to his potential connections. “I pride myself on having quality connections with people,” he says. “So while I accept almost anyone, their profile has to be complete and they have to have more than 20 connections.” Being active on social media has many rewards, from reaching milestones in terms of connections, or making a connection with someone you have long admired. However, when asked what his proudest LinkedIn moment has been so far, Burda has a humbling answer: “I make an effort to help individuals, because when I was younger and needed help, people took the time to help me, so I’m big on paying it forward. So, to answer your question, every time I help someone is my proudest moment.”



ABOVE Social networking sites are now a part of business

LinkedIn and other career oriented social networking platforms are changing the way in which we do business and, according to Burda, that’s not a bad thing. “People now share their ideas,” he says. “You can post articles on your profile on your group’s page. You can find answers to your ideas and supplement your profession. I don’t mean that you can use platforms like LinkedIn to sell your ideas, but you can get an input from a creative mind that could improve on your idea. People say that it is beneficial to have an extra set of eyes, well, networks like LinkedIn give you many sets of eyes.”

People say that it is beneficial to have an extra set of eyes. Well, LinkedIn gives you many sets of eyes.

LEFT LinkedIn is a great way to make business connections


The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out now: www.thebestyou.co

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Find out more about Steven at www.sburda.com or connect with him on LinkedIn at www.linkedin. com/in/burda.

What Online Social Networking Means for You and Your Businesse

The Rough Guide to Social Media for Beginners By Sean Mahoney

Getting Started with Facebook, Twitter and Google+ l




Modern life is filled with numerous stresses that can pick away at your quality of life and overall wellbeing. Thankfully, technology has contributed handy gizmos that help us to reclaim our lives bit by bit. These devices are your must-have life-improvers.



1. E-READER Although some Luddites rail against the advent of e-readers as contributing to the death of actual books, there’s no denying the convenience of having millions of books in one nifty device. You’ll have unlimited intellectual stimulation at your fingertips.

2. OUYA CONSOLE This crowd-funded gaming console is predicated on the idea that gamers like to play around with stuff. The Androidbased technology allows users to hack and customise to their hearts’ content

4. SMART TV 3. ZEN ENSO AROMA DIFFUSER Blow your stress away. With just a bit of tap water and some essential oils, this diffuser releases relaxing fragrances without any humidity or condensation. It’s safe, affordable and stylish. Think of it as a hightech update to your old scented candles.


TV is so much more than TV these days. Smart TVs have integrated Internet capabilities that allow you to take advantage of streaming services like NetFlix, BBC iPlayer and YouTube. They provide social networking services and also have apps providing updates on weather, sports and news.



5. TABLET Tablets have moved on from being expensive indulgences for techheads to indispensable tools for modern living. You can check your email, make video calls, keep up with your social networking and lots more. The latest models boast amazing high-resolution screens that allow you to watch movies and play video games.

6. 3D PRINTER The words ‘3D printer’ don’t really convey the monumental awesomeness of these devices. They allow you to design 3D objects on your computer and render them in exquisitely detailed plastic. You can create everything from teacups to figurines to shoes. The only limit is your imagination.

8. PEBBLE WATCH Expecting watches to only tell the time is like expecting mobile phones to only make phone calls. The Pebble: E-Paper Watch (the mostfunded project in Kickstarter history) wirelessly interfaces with your smartphone to bring up displays of calls, messages and other notifications. And yes, it also tells the time.

7. ROOMBA These robotic butlers are cute as heck and very useful. You can set their timer to determine when they emerge from their alcoves to clean your place, like silent little elves. They can handle almost any surface and can navigate around chair legs and under tables.


10. LIVE SCRIBE PEN This pen will thrill creative types. It captures everything you write or sketch on the special Live Scribe paper and sends it wirelessly to your email address or storage device. It even records audio so you can record your vocal notes. Never lose another great idea.

A good night’s sleep is one of the prime contributors to one’s overall wealth and wellbeing, but the stresses of modern life can often get in the way. The mobile app and personal online dashboard coaches you based on your unique sleep patterns while a silent vibrating alarm gently nudges you awake.



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The Best You October 2013  

October is here and with it brings the colder weather, but that’s no reason to get the winter blues. We have a great issue The Best You for...

The Best You October 2013  

October is here and with it brings the colder weather, but that’s no reason to get the winter blues. We have a great issue The Best You for...