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DAVID SMALLWOOD Bernardo Moya interviews the expert on addiction

FERNANDO ALONSO And the Zen of motorcar racing




















JUNE 2014




Bernardo Moya welcomes you to the latest issue of The Best You

18 WE SUPPORT… Mind – for better mental health

29 BOOK REVIEWS We review some of our favourites – a small selection of what’s available

58 THE BEST YOU DIRECTORY Find the best coaches, trainers and practitioners here



Geoff Edwards gives us some tips to help us focus on life’s simple pleasures



We profile Jamie Oliver – owner of an empire, but still down to earth

26 STEPPING INTO THE LIGHT Bernardo Moya chats with David Smallwood, a therapist who has overcome his addictions


We feature an excerpt from Louise Hay’s new book, You Can Heal Your Heart

12 VARIOUS SHADES OF BLUE Beth Murphy from Mind helps us

understand the complexities of depression




Some musical acts are worth the ticket price more than others. We look at some of the greatest live performers


With so much of what we read in the papers being negative, The Best You is bringing you some good news

20 MORE THAN SITTING AROUND Dr. Pedram Shojai looks at the benefits of meditation and how it can improve your life

THE BEST YOU No. 20 · June 2014 · Year 2 · EDITOR / PUBLISHER Bernardo Moya · DEPUTY EDITOR Zoë Henry · ASSOCIATE EDITOR Matthew Wingett · CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Gail Kingsbury · PROOFREADER Bryan Szabo · COPYWRITER Aaron Wells GRAPHIC DESIGN Joanna Frackiewicz · NEW MEDIA Allan Banford TECHNICAL CONSULTANT Martin Carter · ADVERTISING advertising@thebestyou.co · COVER PHOTO BY David Loftus The Best You Corporation LTD 5 Percy St. · London, United Kingdom, W1T 1DG · Tel: +44 (0)845 230 2033 · www.thebestyoumagazine.co


JUNE 2014




Janet Murray looks at the latest fad in ending a relationship and how to go about it

38 THE ZEN OF MOTORCAR RACING Stephen Simpson profiles the enigmatic and focussed mind of Fernando Alonso Díaz

40 WHAT DOES IT TAKE… …to be a TV director? We chat with Lisa Gifford, director of the award-winning web series 3some




Nutritional expert Naomi Beinart explains the phenomenon of the 4pm sugar craving

46 THE TRUTH BEHIND FIVE-A-DAY Zoë Harcombe debunks the age-old myth of five-a-day as a marketing scheme



Kate Northrup gives us some great tips on how to feel wealthy no matter what’s in your pockets

52 COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Emma Vites tells us how to make ourselves heard in order to improve our business

54 HANG IN THERE Gerry Robert says that no matter what your obstacles are, you can overcome them if you hang in there

56 THE ROCKY ROAD TO SUCCESS The Best You looks at some historical figures who didn’t have success handed to them on a silver platter





Many a company has made the old Twitter faux pas. Lon Safko explains how to use it the right way

64 THE LATEST AND GREATEST We look at some of the newest gadgets that have been designed to make your life easier






n the immortal words of The Beatles, everybody occasionally “needs a little help from their friends.” The average person has 130 Facebook friends, but with all types of relationships – from romantic to platonic – migrating online, people are feeling more and more disconnected and alone. Whether it’s shopping, going to the movies, gaming, or even catching up with old friends, nearly everything we used to do socially has become something many of us are choosing to do online. We may have more ‘friends’ than the entire population of hunter gatherer groups of a few thousand years ago, but we are feeling more isolated than ever. This isolation leads to increased levels of depression, anxiety, and a lack of self-esteem. These mental problems can lead to physical problems, such as weight gain and substance

abuse. In this month’s issue of The Best You, we interview David Smallwood, a therapist who specialises in helping people with substance abuse problems. We also feature an article from Beth Murphy, the Head of Information at Mind, the mental health charity. David and Beth are both dedicated to providing people with the mental and emotional support they need when they are going through a rough time, so now I’m asking you, are you getting the help you need? We also profile Jamie Oliver, a personal hero of mine, who is doing what he can to combat obesity, not only in the UK, but around the world. And Fernando Alonso, who is another figure I greatly admire. While these people are impressive on their own, I assure you that they didn't achieve success without help, and these days help is easier

to get than ever. Though it may be cutting us off from truly social interaction, technology has also brought us into an ever-widening support network. There is no excuse anymore. If you feel that something needs to change in your life, ask someone for help, whether that is a professional or Google. There are 2.5 billion Internet users – someone will understand what you are going through, and be willing to help.


Editor-in-Chief Follow me: @Bernardo_Moya

Each of us is a being in himself and a being in society, each of us needs to understand himself and understand others, take care of others and be taken care of himself. – Haniel Clark Long

WE WANT YOUR STORIES The Best You is all about inspiring people. If you have a tale to tell that you think will help someone become the best they can be, please tell us.

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is Head of Information at Mind, the mental health charity. Beth has been with Mind for four years. She currently manages Mind's information team, including their Infoline and all their online advice and printed information.



is a career and sales coach/speaker and founder of The Apprentice Project. She specialises in helping people ‘sell’ themselves in the most effective way to ensure maximum success in their careers, relationships and lives.



is an internationally accredited life coach with over 25 years of coaching experience supporting those on their journey to success with results that last. His book, The Success Coach: Achieving Realistic, Tangible Actions to Ensure Your Success, is a step-by-step guide to a more successful life – one that includes doing the things one loves.


is the best-selling author of The Millionaire Mindset and marketing speaker. Over 3 Million people have attended his live seminars. He is also the publisher at Black Card Books, an entrepreneurial book publisher helping companies use books as marketing tools.



is a Master NLP practitioner and inspirational personal development coach who is passionate about working with individuals to help them fulfill their personal and professional potential. The author of Essential Divorce Wisdom, Janet combines her intuitive and practical wisdom with a corporate background.


got bitten by the freedom bug early in life. She knew she wanted to make good money like her parents, but she also wanted to own her time. For as long as she can remember, her dream has been to create financial freedom, which she achieved at 28.





is the bestselling author of The Social Media Bible, which unlocks the mysteries of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, for business. His book is transforming corporate, government, and non-profit marketing strategies and how they use these new media to reach their desired audiences with powerful messages and efficiency.


is the author of the international bestseller You Can Heal Your Life. She is a metaphysical lecturer and teacher with more than 50 million books sold worldwide. In this month’s issue, we feature an excerpt from her new book, You Can Heal Your Heart, which she wrote with David Kessler.



is the founder of well.org and is the producer of the movie Vitality as well as the author of the book Rise and Shine. He is a worldrenowned lecturer and author who lives a life of adventure and service to humanity.



is a medical specialist, Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine, bestselling author, and elite performance coach. He regularly appears on TV and radio, and his clients include leading names from the world of sport, business, and the entertainment industries.



is a deputy editor for a lifestyle magazine for British Airways. He has many years of experience working as a freelance writer and editor in leading titles. He currently lives in London, but grew up in the ghettos of Cape Town, South Africa.



is a qualified nutritionist with a Diploma in Diet and Nutrition and in Clinical Weight Management, but she is first and foremost an obesity researcher. She works exclusively in the area of weight and obesity and reads, writes, and talks about obesity as many hours as possible, seven days a week. Her goal is to reverse the obesity epidemic.


The Best You is published by The Best You Corporation Ltd, 5 Percy Street, W1T 1DG. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect The Best You Corporation Ltd, policy. The Best You Corporation Ltd accepts no responsibility for views expressed by its contributors. Advertisements and reader offers are not endorsed by The Best You or The Best You Corporation Ltd.


We have launched a brand-new platform for people who are as passionate as we are about eduation to share their thoughts and ideas. If you are one of these people, please sign up at www.alifewithoutlimits.co and start posting.




Life Without Limits


Connect with the wonderful, special and powerful inside. Learn new ways to get your mind and body in balance, bringing out the rich core of your being. Discover the secrets that will enable you to take charge of your inner life and become The Best You.

HEAL YOUR HEART We feature an excerpt from Louise Hay’s new book, You Can Heal Your Heart

VARIOUS SHADES OF BLUE Beth Murphey from Mind helps us understand the complexities of depression



HEAL YOUR HEART A broken heart is an open heart. Whatever the circumstances, when you love someone and your time together ends, you will naturally feel pain. The pain of losing a person you love is part of life, part of this journey, but suffering doesn’t have to be. Louise Hay gives us an introduction to healing your heart. possible to achieve this over time. That doesn’t mean that you deny or run away from the pain. Instead, you let yourself experience it and then allow a new life to unfold – one in which you hold the love dear, not the sorrow. Here’s where our real work begins. There are three main steps to healing your heart:



lthough it’s natural to forget your power after you lose a loved one, the truth is that after a breakup, divorce, or death, there remains an ability within you to create a new reality. Let’s be clear here: We’re asking you to change

your thinking after a loss occurs – not to avoid the pain of grief, but to keep moving through it. We want your thoughts to live in a place where you remember your loved one only with love, not with sadness or regret. Even after the worst breakup, the meanest divorce, or the most tragic death, it is


ABOVE Getting over a broken heart is difficult, but not impossible

This time can be a vital window, not only to heal your pain, but, if you feel each of your feelings fully, to also begin to release it. One of the biggest problems is that you might try to push aside or ignore your feelings. You judge them as wrong, too little, or too much. You carry a lot of bottled-up emotions, and anger is often one that is suppressed. In order to heal, however, that anger or pain must be released. We’re not speaking only about anger associated with death, but about anytime we feel anger. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the renowned grief expert who identified the Five Stages of Grief, said that we could feel anger, let it pass through us, and be done with it in a few minutes. She went on to say



that any anger we feel over 15 minutes is old anger. Of course, anger is only one of the emotions that arise. When a relationship ends, when divorce happens, and even when a death occurs, we are left with so many feelings. Feeling them is the first step toward healing.

ALLOW OLD WOUNDS TO COME UP FOR HEALING Your loss will also be a window into your old wounds, and like it or not, they are going to come forth. Some of them you may not be aware of. When you’re going through a breakup, for example, you may think, “I knew he wasn’t going to stay.” In a divorce, you may believe that you don’t deserve love, or, when a loved one dies, you may obsess over what you have lost. These are negative thoughts that stretch beyond the current loss. It’s certainly helpful to take advantage of grief as a time to reflect on the past with tenderness, but to relive it over and over is painful and unproductive. That’s what you tend to do when you just go back without an intention of healing. Where did these negative thoughts originate? They originated in the past and weren’t healed with love. Together we’ll shine a light on those old wounds and negative thought processes and begin the healing process with love and compassion.

CHANGE DISTORTED THINKING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, AND LIFE When you grieve any loss, you apply your current thinking,

which is frequently distorted. What do we mean by that? It is when your beliefs are coloured by the wounds of childhood and shaped by hurts from past relationships. Distorted thinking is often moulded by your parents and others in your life, who did the best they could, but who also carried their own distorted thinking from their childhoods. All of this worked together to form the current self-talk in your mind as you think your same old thoughts over and over again. Then you bring this old thinking, the negative self-talk, to your new loss. This is why human beings so often talk to ourselves without love and tenderness after we’ve just lost


It’s certainly helpful to take advantage of grief as a time to reflect on the past with tenderness ABOVE Break ups and divorces are common causes of heartbreak

someone we cared for deeply. We blame ourselves, we throw a pity party, and we even feel that we deserve the pain we’re now experiencing. To move forward in a positive way, we need to break this cycle of distorted thinking. You Can Heal Your Heart contains new thinking, heart-warming stories, and powerful affirmations geared to specific situations. The stories throughout are taken from real people in real situations who have lovingly chosen to share their life challenges and lessons with us so that we could share them with you. You should discover that, no matter what you’re facing, you can heal your heart.




Shutting out the


Depression affects everyone differently, but there are some common symptoms: lowspirits, restlessness, feeling disconnected from other people, and having no interest in the things you normally enjoy. Beth Murphy, Head of Information at Mind, helps us better understand depression.


evere depression can be debilitating and even life threatening; it may even cause sufferers to contemplate or, in extreme cases, attempt to take their own lives. Mixed anxiety and depression is very common, affecting one in 10 people in England each year. According to the Health and Social Care Information Centre, depression (without anxiety) affects around 2.6 per cent of the population. Women tend to experience depression more than men, but this could be down to the fact that women are much more likely to talk about their emotional state when they are struggling. Although the causes of depression are complicated and varied, there are some life

events that can make people more vulnerable to developing it, such as bereavement, social isolation or childhood abuse. Many of us feel down from time to time – we all have good days and bad days. However, if you have been feeling low for a couple of weeks or more without much change in your mood, or the feelings return over and over again, you may be experiencing depression. If you are worried about your mental health, the most important thing to do is to open up, perhaps by confiding in a close friend or family member. Lots of people find online forums helpful, particularly if they are unable to confide in friends or don’t have strong social networks. Mind has an online peer support network, Elefriends, that allows users


If you are worried about your mental health, the most important thing to do is to open up, perhaps by confiding in a close friend or family member.

to discuss their problems with others going through similar experiences. Not talking about issues can make things worse, causing deterioration in mental health, which, in extreme cases, can result in a mental health crisis. We know that stigma can prevent people from opening up, which is why Mind, together with Rethink Mental Illness, runs Time to Change, an antistigma campaign in England and Wales. Since its launch in 2007, Time to Change has reached millions of people and has seen an 11.5 per cent reduction in average levels of discrimination as reported by people with mental health problems. We are making progress, but we still have a long way to go. We know that there are


a range of different types of treatment and intervention that can help people to overcome depression and live a full life. For people with mild to moderate depression, taking part in regular physical activity has proven a quick way to turn the emotional tide. This can be difficult to do if the symptoms are severe, but exercise is effective in lifting mood, increasing energy levels, and improving appetite and sleep. Physical activity stimulates endorphins – brain chemicals that boost mood. We recommend keeping busy by engaging in hobbies and activities, particularly those that allow you to connect with others. Ecotherapy – such as green exercise, gardening and environmental conservation has been found to be very

effective as well. If planning a whole exercise routine feels too hard, start with a short walk in the park. Exercise and sunlight won’t necessarily cure what ails you, but, especially if they are made a regular part of a healthy daily routine, they can be a very good first step. Talking treatments have also been found to really help many people. Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) is often offered on the NHS and can help to identify and change negative thoughts and feelings affecting your behaviour. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy is an approach to wellbeing that involves accepting life, and living in paying attention to the present moment. Group therapy allows people to work together on their problems with a therapist.

Combining psychological treatment with medication may be the most effective course for severe depression. Antidepressants work to balance brain chemicals at emotionally stable levels MAIN PICTURE Depression can make us want to shut out the world, but this is the worst thing you can do

Talking to others and getting their insight can help you understand yourself better; you may also learn about relationships with others. Combining a psychological treatment with medication may be the most effective course for severe depression. Antidepressants work to balance brain chemicals at emotionally stable levels; they may make it easier for you to do things like exercise and attend social events. Medication can take between two to six weeks to take effect, and medication alone is not usually a complete answer in the long term. The effectiveness of treatments varies from one individual to another, and for most people a combination of therapies works the best. It is possible to recover from depression, and many people feel stronger and more able to deal with life's ups and downs when they have found strategies that help them to feel better. It’s also possible to manage symptoms to the point where you feel able to live a full life – holding down a job, relationships, friendships and so forth. Not addressing mental health problems early can cause more severe problems in the long run, so if you’re worried about the mental health of someone you know, encourage them to seek support or treatment as soon as possible.




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Laughter, humour, travel, love - these add the sparkle that make life worth living. Climb a mountain, give to others, start a family, embrace life. What are the things you wish you had done but haven’t yet? Life is no rehearsal – find ways to enjoy it, whenever you can!

Life Without Limits



Some musical acts are worth the ticket price more than others. We look at some of the greatest live performers


With so much of what we read in the papers being negative, The Best You is bringing you some good news


Dr. Pedram Shojai looks at the benefits of meditation and how it can improve your life





hether you’re a dedicated music aficionado or just a casual dabbler, there are a few live acts that just stand head and shoulders above the rest. If you are a resident of a buzzing metropolis, the acts on this month’s bucket list will

probably be rolling through your hood soon as they tend to do world tours fairly often. But that doesn’t mean getting tickets will be a breeze. The last time Bruce Springsteen visited London, the tickets to his show at the Wembley Arena sold out in nine minutes! So be prepared so scramble if any of these artists are on your list.

BEYONCÉ Beyoncé’s live shows are where she holds court, with feet-blistering choreography and spectacular sets. It’s surprising just how many ubiquitous hits she’s been behind in the last few years, as you find yourself singling along to every song. Someone who has achieved such a level of pop-culture saturation is bound to pick up many haters, but it’s surprising how hard it is to find any. Queen Bey reigns supreme.


Part of enjoying life is living for the moment, so don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed to make a list of what you should’ve done. Life is happening now, so start ticking things off that bucket list. This month Zane Henry looks at some live acts worth seeing.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN Seeing Bruce Springsteen live is as close as you can get to a spiritual rock experience. The Boss joyfully presides over sprawling stadia of devoted fans, conducting massive sing-alongs to classics like ‘Thunder Road’ and ‘Born in the USA’. His shows with the E Street Band typically run for three hours or longer. And he’s still shaking what his mama gave him, often working up quite an aerobic glow. Not bad for a 64-year-old year old.


ARCADE FIRE With a touring band that hovers around the tenmember mark, Arcade Fire creates a glorious indierock symphony on stage, with members spontaneously swapping instruments and grabbing whatever is at hand to add yet another brick to the wall of sound. The anthemic ‘Wake Up’ from their debut album is a highlight, with audience members and the band throwing their voices up to the heavens together every time it’s performed.

RADIOHEAD For a band that naysayers often accuse of cerebral navel-gazing, Radiohead have one hell of a party onstage. They aren’t the types to dig into the hits too often, so don’t expect them to play ‘Creep’ at any point. They will, however, prove why they’re one of the most exciting and respected bands on the planet with their diverse influences and whip-smart innovativeness. And, of course, you’ll see Thom Yorke whipping out his infamous jerky-jerky dance moves.

JAY-Z Mr Beyonce Knowles really brings the thunder to his live shows. His live band is one of the best in the biz, adding muscle and grit to tracks like ‘99 Problems’ and ‘Encore’. He’s also a stickler for flawless sound setups, so you’re sure to hear every snare hit and well-crafted syllable he spits out. Tickets aren’t cheap, but he has to pay for all that bling somehow. After all, he’s not a businessman; he’s a business, man.


THE ROOTS Hip-hop’s pre-eminent live band, The Roots’ journey to mass-consciousness has been a slow one, allowing them the freedom to not compromise on their sound or vision. Being Jimmy Fallon’s house band exposed the world to their versatility, as they backed Elvis Costello, Bruce Springsteen and Paul Simon. They’re at their most vital when they’re getting stuck into their own classics, such as ‘Break You Off’ or ‘The Seed (2.0)’.

PRINCE It will forever baffle us how such a tiny man creates such a storm onstage. Must be the platform boots. The diminutive lord of funk is operating at maximum velocity at the moment with a brand new band tearing into his formidable back catalogue. Each show is different from one night to another, as he reinvents old songs at will, pulling together every genre under the sun into a musical mélange.

LADY GAGA Don’t even think about writing her off as a vacuous popstar. Lady Gaga built up credibility as a performance artist in New York’s underground art scene and is a talented songwriter and pianist – and a damn good singer to boot. Her shows are spectacles in every sense of the word, combining towering sets with detailed choreography and pumping dance anthems. And it’s always fun to see the outfits she turns up in.



is the leading mental health charity in England and Wales. We provide advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem through our award-winning publications and our two confidential telephone lines: Mind Infoline and our Legal Advice Service.


ne in four people will experience a mental health problem in their lifetime, so the chances are you know somebody who has been affected. Furthermore, figures from the Health and Social Care Information Centre (HSCIC) show antidepressant prescriptions in England alone have increased year on year to a record 53 million last year. Even though demand for mental health services is increasing, mental health trust budgets have fallen an average of 2.3 per cent since 2011. A recent report by Mind as part of

the We Need to Talk Coalition found that in certain parts of the country, people were struggling to access talking therapies. In fact, one in ten people were waiting over a year – this would not be acceptable for a physical health problem. Increasingly, people are turning to Mind for support – Mind Infoline received 50 per cent more calls in 2012/13 than it did the previous year. Despite the prevalence of mental health problems, many people feel unable to talk about mental health. That’s why Mind, together with Rethink Mental Illness, runs Time to Change, an anti-stigma

Mind relies on the generosity of its supporters to continue its work. To make a donation, please visit www.mind.org.uk/ donate or find out how you can fundraise at www.mind.org. uk/events. Your donation, however large or small, can make a huge difference.

Further information: Mind: www.mind.org.uk Mind’s infoline is available on 0300 123 3393 and Legal Advice Service can be reached by calling 0300 466 6463 Monday to Friday, 9.00am to 6.00pm

In England and Wales, Mind offers specialised support and care based on the needs of the community, allowing them to help 280,000 people

campaign in England. Since its launch in 2007, Time to Change campaigning has reached millions of people and has seen an 11 per cent reduction in discrimination as reported by people with mental health problems. We are making progress, but we still have a long way to go. In England and Wales, Mind offers specialised support and care based on the needs of the community, allowing them to help 280,000 people across England and Wales. In this tough economic climate, Mind needs your support to ensure they can reach everyone who needs them. b


Katie Piper Foundation

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The news we read in the newspapers and see on the television is so negative that it can often feel like the media is conspiring to get you down in the dumps. That’s why The Best You is bringing you snippets of good news.

Breaking Bad for good


e won’t easily forget the phenomenon that was Breaking Bad. Bryan Cranston’s crazily believable portrayal of Walter White, a high school chemistry teacher who embraces his inner villain as a meth cook, made for riveting television. But who knew that this small screen spectacle would help one California teen get a date to the prom? In a bid to get Maddie to go to the prom with him, Stefan Montana approached actor Bryan

Cranston (pictured left with Aaron Paul), asking him to deliver one of the most famous lines from the hit TV series, but Cranston’s good deed didn’t stop there. In addition to being the star of the latest rendition of Godzilla, Cranston is also portraying the lead of President Lyndon B. Johnson in the Broadway hit All the Way. He flew Montana and his date to New York for the show, put them up in a hotel, and even had a car fetch them from the airport. The best part of the story? Maddie said yes to the prom request!



ou can find a lot of dodgy stuff on Craigslist, from kleptomaniac roommates to positive pregnancy tests and empty boxes labelled ‘PlayStation 4’. But this recent story lets us know that not everything on the website is a scam, and there are genuinely good

people out there. Cindy Prettyman, a 65-year-old living in West Virginia, was told that she needed a new kidney. She was placed on the organ donor waiting list, but would probably have had to wait five years before getting what she needed. Luckily, her son Jeremy stepped in armed with the force of the internet. He posted a

listing on Craigslist that stated, “Wanted: Kidney”, and they found a donor. Prettyman’s saviour came in the form of Jacklyn Mellott, a 56-year-old from Ohio, who said she had always wanted to donate. As fate would have it, they were a perfect match. Thanks to Mellott, Cindy would live to see another day.


It looks like the economic panic that started with the 2008 crash might be coming to an end. The U.S. economy has reached a milestone: It has finally regained all 8.8 million private-sector jobs it lost during the Great Recession. March 2014 job growth figures also signalled that stronger gains could lie ahead.





AROUND The idea of just sitting around seems boring and a total waste of time. We’ve all got so much to do and not enough time to do it. Pedram Shojai asks: why sit around and waste such an already precious commodity that seems to be lacking in all of our lives?


Meditation is more than a technique – it is a way of life. It is a way for us to see the universe and hold audience for the millions of bits of information that are passing through our minds in any given moment. We can all relate to that. Noise everywhere, all of the time. So how do we get rid of that noise? We don’t. We cannot make the noise go away. It is a reflection of all of the processes of life as the nervous system is firing and communicating with the body all of the time. To stop the noise is to stop life; to stop the noise entirely, you’d have to be brain dead. Last I checked, that isn’t a leading wellness practice. So what’s all this talk about meditation and how it helps calm us down and stop the noise? Meditation is about accepting reality. It is about learning to observe phenomena come and go without reacting to them.

To meditate is to maintain equanimity in all affairs and to watch circumstances come and go without getting mentally and emotionally attached to them. We cannot stop our minds, but we can calm them. Meditation can help drive energy back to the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps with digestion, immunity, sexual function, and, in short, the body’s healing and selfregulating capacities. It helps blunt the release of the stress hormone cortisol and, in turn, helps regulate the sex hormones and our stress response. This can help calm the body and mind and make it a lot quieter upstairs, though not all-together silent. There is, however, silence to be observed. Music, they say, is the silence between the notes. Through meditation, we learn to see the empty spaces between our thoughts as they come and go. We can observe silence

MAIN PICTURE Find a place where you can sit quietly with no distractions

Meditation is not something that should be done in a particular position at a particular time. It is an awareness and an attitude that must persist throughout the day.– Annamalai Swami

in the void at the bottom of a breath; we can see it in the stillness of the universe, which sits at the heart of all movment. The universe is in perpetual motion. Everything is moving at all times, expanding and contracting simultaneously. Change is everywhere. Our fear of change is likened to us trying to fix our gaze on an object through the train window and freaking out that it has left our visual field. We get up and run to another window to get another glimpse of it, but, alas, it will pass. Mourning its loss is the state of human affairs. Finding stillness inside is about syncing up with the movement of the universe and moving with it. Only then can we smile happily on the train and enjoy the ride. We can let go of needing to fixate on objects out the window and go with the flow. When the first monk tells the other, “this is it”, he’s right. This is it. b




What are the ingredients that make up the tour de force that is

Jamie Oliver?

The Best You investigates.


He alleviated boredom by getting classmates to move seats every time the teacher turned his back


N many ways, he's the man who has it all. A celebrity chef who cooks for world leaders, Oliver has a happy, solid marriage, four gourgeous children, and he is adored by his fans. Atop such success and happiness, the millions of dollars he earns and raises for worthy causes each year is merely a garnish. He has an active social conscience rarely found in today’s celebrity culture; he has a passion to do what is right and ceaseless energy to achieve his goals. His combined infectious enthusiasm and disarming charm makes people stop, listen, and take inspiration from his words. Born on 27 May 1975, Jamie grew up in Clavering, Essex. He is the son of Sally and Trevor Oliver, owners of The Cricketers Pub, which they moved into in 1976, hoping to revive the flagging establishment. Many of Jamie's most renowned traits come from those early years. His dad taught him the importance of deftly engaging with the restaurant’s customers. People who complained were won over by being offered alternative food – and by his dad Trevor's winning charm. Trevor's attitude to food contrasts with the deservedly poor reputation of British cuisine in the 1970s. Jamie recalls one woman complaining about the freshness of the fish she had been served. After defusing the complaint with aplomb (the fish had been bought absolutely fresh that day) his words to Jamie perhaps helped shape his son's later passion for fresh food:

ABOVE Jamie Oliver playing silly buggers for the camera at a book launch

People who complained were won over by being offered alternative food – and by his dad Trevor's winning charm.


"Son, we have to educate some of these people. They are just too used to the frozen stuff." Formal education for Jamie was not positive. A lover of practical jokes, he alleviated the boredom he felt in one class by getting classmates to move seats every time the teacher turned his back. One teacher's words in describing the event reveal his attitude to his pupil: "I would look back at the class and home in on one of the more helpful members of the class and ask a question to move the lesson on, only to find it was Jamie Oliver, or someone even dimmer, staring balefully back at me." Jamie is dyslexic, a matter of much mirth to his classmates who would mercilessly chant "special needs" when he put up his hand in class. Emotionally grounded himself, Jamie revelled in the closeness of the gypsy community to which two of his friends belonged. He was also shocked by their poverty. Though his own family was poor (his dad was so determined to make the food at The Cricketers excellent that he paid the chef more than he paid himself), their poverty moved him – and perhaps prompted him to make great food for ordinary people. He decided to treat them: "These gypsies had never even tasted turkey and pickle before; they used to just about live on jam sandwiches. Imagine giving them smoked salmon. When I opened up the sarnie and squeezed the lemon on the smoked salmon they just went, ‘Wow!’ That look on their faces was my first feeling of 'this is really good' about food that I can remember. It was like showing a kid from 1800 what a VW Golf Convertible looks like." Jamie's passion for food combines with an ethos of


COVER STORY THE BEST YOU extraordinary hard work. His dad instilled in him from early on that you get from life what you put into it. He made the point by paying Jamie's pocket money in return for working in the pub. Nowadays, Jamie is renowned for unstinting hard work and long hours – the lot of both the chef and the media sensation. Jamie left school with only two GCSE qualifications. His own insight into why he did so badly is telling: "Basically, I buggered about too much. The way my brain worked, I needed to see, touch, and smell things. I enjoyed the practical side of learning, and I did all right at Art and Geology because they were very touchyfeely subjects, but Maths and English were a nightmare." Nevertheless, Jamie wanted to become a chef, and he promptly enrolled at Westminster College in 1992 to study catering. After two years, he passed his exams with distinctions. Work that had previously caused him so much difficulty at school suddenly made sense when it had a context and a purpose. From here, he learned his trade as a chef in France and London, before getting work in The River Cafe on the Thames. Then, in 1997, he was spotted by a BBC crew filming a documentary at The Riverside Cafe. They loved his friendly,

THIS PICTURE Jamie Oliver with Sir Richard Branson

unselfconscious attitude and asked him to contribute short sections to the show. It was a turning point. The day after the show aired, he received four offers from television companies looking for a fresh face for their cookery programmes. Jamie agreed to work with the BBC to create his debut series, The Naked Chef. At first, Jamie was horrified by the name, but after a while, he began to realise it was a great way to describe his idea for a cooking show that would be "stripped down to the basics". Part fly-on-the-wall documentary, part cookery show – even part lifestyle advert – The Naked Chef was THIS PICTURE Jamie filming for one of his many TV shows


filmed in his London apartment. It followed Jamie going about his life as a chef, driving around London on his scooter and cooking for friends and family at dinner parties alongside his partner, soon to be wife, Jools, whom he met when he was 16. The show was a sensation. Jamie's appeal to girls was obvious with his easy manner and good looks, but boys also loved him. His likeable 'yoof' persona, swish London pad, beautiful girlfriend, and smart friends made cooking not only acceptable but cool to young men who had never thought of lifting a fish slice before. His appeal went far beyond youth. The Naked Chef also appealed to a far older demographic. It was a runaway success. More success followed – two further series of The Naked Chef , book tie-ins, as well as a lucrative advertising contract with the supermarket chain Sainsbury's. Whilst some sneered at his apparent ‘selling out’ to Sainsbury's, Jamie Oliver's next step was to show that he really did care – not only about food but also people. The Channel 4 series Jamie's Kitchen was a documentary that showed Jamie giving back to the community. It was inspired by Jamie’s friend, who worked with young people from disdvantaged backgrounds. He told Jamie that young people often found focus in cooking when they struggled elsewhere. Jamie knew this feeling all too well, so he decided to offer young people from troubled backgrounds a helping hand by giving them work in the kitchen of his new, non-profit restaurant, Fifteen, based in Hoxton, East London. The show tested Jamie. He not only struggled to inspire the 15 troubled kids who co-starred in the show, he also put his own money on the line. Included in the show were disagreements with his wife Jools about the project – something which caused real tension between them. Even though the project was largely


philanthropic, Jamie nevertheless risked everything to keep Fifteen going. Some of the wayward young people he trained didn't recognise the opportunity they were being handed. Many failed to show up on some days, were demotivated, or just difficult to work with. Jamie's frustration frequently bubbled over into four-letter frustration. It made for compelling viewing. Jamie's Kitchen was a massive success. Eight of the 15 trainees stayed with the show and qualified as chefs. Along the way, they cooked for the Prince of Wales, Tony Blair, and Irish PM Bertie Aherne. The show established Fifteen as a must-visit restaurant in London, and Fifteens were set up in Amsterdam and Melbourne, also designed to help the disadvantaged. By now Jamie had a taste for making a difference in people's lives. His next project was his most ambitious yet. Jamie's School Dinners recorded his passionate attempts to revive healthy cooked school dinners in schools. The minimum nutritional requirement for school dinners had been scrapped by Margaret Thatcher's government in the 1980s, and the decline in food quality had reached a dangerous low point by the time Jamie entered the picture. The show revealed his deep, consuming passion not only for food, but for justice and what is right. His feelings of deep anger at seeing foods such as the notoriously fatty and salty 'turkey twizzler'

being served to growing children caused waves of outrage to spread across the country. The show was so powerful it not only reintroduced healthy food to Kidbrooke School Greenwich, but changed government policy. By the end of the series, Jamie Oliver was spearheading a movement that saw healthy school dinners being rolled out across the entire country. The TV chef said he was making it his own personal goal to reduce childhood obesity across the UK by at least five per cent in the next five years, and his Food Revolution Day gains more traction each year. Watching Jamie organise school dinners or doing copious amounts of research into food and its effects on children in the day and running Fifteen by night was extraordinary viewing. The show won BAFTA awards, changed Britain's schools, and silenced once and for all those critics who accused him of selling out. Jamie has never stopped. He clearly cares deeply about people and food. As well as the usual celebrity chef fare, his TV shows include attempts to educate difficult children or taking on corporate America, whose hand lowers the quality of school meals in the USA. There is something very real about Jamie Oliver and the way he



l Born 1976, Clavering, Essex to a pub landlord l Did not excel at school, and suffers from dyslexia l Left school with few qualifications l Met Jools when he was young l Studied to become a chef in London l Discovered at the River Cafe by a BBC film unit l The Naked Chef TV series and book a huge success l Numerous book contracts and TV series followed l Runs the Fifteen restaurant as a philanthropic organisation to give disadvantaged young people a skill in life l Changed the UK Government policy on school dinners l Attempted the same in the USA l Set up the Jamie Oliver Foundation to promote food awareness and pass on the skill of cooking through the generations l A passionate advocate for good food he has called people who feed their kids fast food "arseholes" l Refused an offer to advertise Coca-Cola l Once refused to meet Bill Clinton because of Clinton's disrespectful attitude to his food l Is always true to himself and perfectly willing to speak his mind l A dedicated family man l Maintains a strong sense of social justice l Estimated to be worth £240 million in The Sunday Times Rich List, 2014 connects with others. Viewers love him, he regards his staff at Fifteen as family, and, as for his family – wife Jools and children Poppy, Daisy, Petal and Buddy – they are absolutely the centre of his world. He is an extraordinary figure who continues to live according to his passions and beliefs. Somehow, somewhere along the way, that dyslexic lad from Essex with a wicked sense of humour and an easy manner turned out all right. b Watch Jamie Oliver's TED Talk: http://tinyurl.com/pryllaj



STEPPING INTO THE LIGHT David Smallwood lived with

deep-seated fear for most of his adult life. The Best You looks at how he turned his sensitivity into a source of good for others.


rom the moment he was born, David

Smallwood was terrified of the world. "I was born a little more sensitive than other people", he says. His father was a man's man, he recalls, before adding: "I was much more of a shy little boy. I was frightened from the moment I can first remember until the time I was about 35 or 40 years old." Now a relaxed 63-year-old, he has two jobs, one as a private practice addiction therapist in Harley Street and the other as treatment director for nine centres in the UK. He is a contented gay man – a world away from the frightened boy he once was. But it wasn't easy to get there. Growing up in Atherstone, Warwickshire, David was strongly aware of somehow being ‘different’. His father, a World War II veteran who fought at Monte Cassino and El Alamein, sensed it too, referring to his son at times as "a bit of a pansy." Though David didn't know at the time he was gay, hearing his father talk of what happened to homosexuals in the army only frightened the lad further. "The thing that I had all the time, constantly, was


When the effects of the Lorazepam and the alcohol wore off, I’d be in a state of anxiety, even though I was going in to hospitals and selling things to doctors

terror", he confesses. He was bullied "every day from the moment I first went to school at five years old until I left at 15." From there he went to work in an engineering factory with what he laughingly describes as "4,000 homophobic Coventry City supporters. That was a nightmare. I hated every second of it." To get some relief from his constant fear, his GP prescribed the benzodiazepenebased drug Lorazepam. In the long run, this worsened the problem with tranquilliser addiction. "Then, at 18 I got addicted to alcohol, and the rest is history. It was just a nightmare until I got recovery when I was 36." After leaving the factory, David became a salesman, flying around the world on company expenses, "which is a great way, if you're an alcoholic, to really have a good time", he says with characteristic humour. "When the effects of the Lorazepam and the alcohol wore off I’d be in a state of



anxiety constantly, even though, as a salesman, for instance, I was going in to hospitals and selling things to doctors. That was a total sort of TV picture, there was no me in there. I was just terrified all the time." Pulled to jobs that enabled his addiction, he began running pubs and restaurants around the country, before managing the biggest turnover pub in London. Then, at the age of 36, he hit rock bottom. A mental breakdown found him in a psychiatric hospital. He was allowed to go home for the weekend, but that’s not what he did. He spent the weekend on a bender. He was taken back to hospital "in the back of an ambulance, handcuffed with a policeman sitting on me. That was pretty much the lowest it got." His life changed when he joined Alcoholics Anonymous. The psychiatric hospital staff had already told him that the next time they would "take him off to the cells." AA introduced him to people he could turn to for help. Despite working in a pub at the time – a job he was trying desperately to leave – his life began to turn around. Part of the programme was to start teling the truth. David came out as gay to his wife, to whom he'd been married for 20 years, and they went their separate ways. Then, at an AA meeting in London, David was given the telephone number of Dr Robert Lefever, an expert who ran Promise, an addiction treatment centre in South Kensington. "I was 46 and I went as a trainee therapist, with my daughter at a boarding school and a mortgage and was earning, I think, £10,000 a year." Before long, he was working for Promise. After various qualifications, he went on to become their treatment director and then treatment director at the famous Priory Hospital in North London, part of the Priory Group, where he ran their addiction unit for 12 years. On top of this, David also runs his private practice in Harley Street, helping people overcome addiction on a one-to-one or group basis. "I think the group process for addiction is the treatment of choice, it’s much, much more powerful." So what causes alcohol addiction? "There’s a lovely phrase that goes, ‘I was born two drinks short.’" David explains it means that in order to function normally and not feel the fear and pain of life, someone just needs two drinks. "The problem is the two drinks short became 10 drinks too short and onwards. There’s a tolerance build up. As the tolerance increases you need more to get that effect. That’s when people wake up feeling awful; that’s when people can’t function properly when they get all sorts of illnesses." David has formed an understanding of his prolonged fear. A senior advisor at The Meadows in Arizona, a woman called Pia Melody, once told him how a sensitive child is prone to feeling fear, which means the child responds to being shouted at or even a dog barking as trauma. The reaction gets trapped in the limbic system, the emotional centre of the brain, which means that no matter how much one reasons about a fear, it doesn't go away because the fear reaction is "locked in the limbic system." In David's case, the combination of seeing his mother and father being ill and his father’s disapproval was enough make him feel abandoned and, therefore, afraid. His advice to anyone dealing with addiction is to seek help immediately. "I don’t believe that the average addict is capable, and this is


FEATURE THE BEST YOU just my experience, of actually getting well on their own. They need other people to help them. We need identification, we need affirmation that we’re okay as people, and the best people to do that are other people with the same illness." David is also clear that addiction isn't only about alcohol. It's about anything that is close to hand. In his Midlands town the addictions available were alcohol, tobacco, and sex. "Had I been living in South Kensington as a child,” he says, “I might’ve ended up on cocaine." As for cannabis, in his mind it's clearly a gateway drug: "If you’re looking for something to fix that feeling of sensitivity of not feeling good enough, it doesn’t matter what you pick up", he explains. It can even be sugar, which he thinks is "the most addictive substance on the planet." Feeling bad can lead to to a sugar fix, leading to being overweight, leading to feeling bad, and so on. As for his own addictions, in the tradition of AA he confirms that he is still an alcoholic, but he has been clean and sober for 27 years. Being responsible for nine treatment centres keeps him busy. So perhaps it is possible to be addicted to something that is – rather than bad for yourself – good for others. David confirms the idea, He is indeed a "workaholic". So, what mark does he want all this work to leave on the world? "I’d like it to be that I moved the treatment of addiction forward just a bit, that I actually helped a few people to understand the process a bit more than they had before. If I had a little bit of that, I’d be really happy." b

Perhaps it is possible to be addicted to something that is – rather than bad for yourself – good for others THIS PICTURE David specialises in helping homosexual people come to terms with their sexuality

David Smallwood's book, Who Says I'm An Addict? is now available from The Best You store


l Born in 1951 in Atherstone, Warwickshire l Sensitive childhood left him terrified of the world l Bullied at school l Father disapproved of him l Age 16, became addicted to tranquillisers l At age 18, started drinking and became addicted to alcohol l Got work as a salesman, travelling around the world and drinking his expenses bill l Worked as bar manager at numerous restaurants and pubs l Age 36, had a breakdown and admitted to a psychiatric hospital l Discovered Alcoholics Anonymous l Worked as a trainee in Promise, helping others with addiction l Within a short time, became their director of treatment l Worked for the famous Priory Hospital as director of treatments for 12 years l Now works as director of treatment of One40, a national addiction treatment organisation l Runs a Harley Street practice, helping people overcome addiction l Clean and sober for 27 years


THIS PICTURE David also holds group therapy sessions





Life Without Limits


No entertainment is so cheap as reading, nor any pleasure so lasting.� – Mary Wortley Montagu

Great reading, viewing and listening to empower, entertain, enrich, delight and enhance. The Best You rounds up classics and new books and media products that will make a positive difference in your life.




In You Can Heal Your Heart, self-help luminary Louise Hay and renowned grief and loss expert David Kessler, the protégé of Elisabeth KublerRoss, have come together to start a conversation on healing grief. You Can Heal Your Heart will also foster awareness and compassion, providing you with the courage to face many other types of losses and challenges, such as saying goodbye to a beloved pet, losing your job, coming to terms with a life-threatening illness or disease and much more. With a perfect blend of Louise Hay’s teachings and affirmations on personal growth and transformation and David Kessler’s many years of working with those in grief, this empowering book will inspire an extraordinary new way of thinking, bringing hope and fresh insights into your life and even your current and future relationships. You will not only learn how to help heal your grief, but you will also discover that, yes, you can heal your heart.

You Can Heal Your Heart offers invaluable insights into the pain we hold on to and offers comfort and hope to the lovelorn.” – The Daily Express





This book is directed to those who want to go through life truly living it, and not feeling as if they barely made it through. This brief book, packed full of advice and quotes which affirm the marvellous culture which each and every one of us is a part of, invites us to drink fully from the cup of life, to enjoy it, and to play an active role within a collective of ideas, projects, and dreams which can lead us, together, towards new ways of feeling, learning, and looking at life. In brief, it allows us to enter into ourselves, in a brave yet subtle exploration, to discover our own confidence, our motivation, to determine what our priorities are, and to see what in our life has turned into a burden that we need to let go of. This book helps us assess what’s really important. During times of uncertainty, stress and difficulty it helps us focus on the things that make us what we are. Whatever problems we have to face, remember, it’s often the small things that really make the difference.

This book will inspire you. Make you think. Make you grow.” – Julian Cherry





By the age of eight, Jamie Oliver was already cooking in his parents’ pub and restaurant in Essex. From Westminster Catering College, he went straight to the apron strings of Antonio Carluccio as his head pastry chef. Spotted in the kitchens of The River Cafe, Jamie’s cheeky chappy image won him his own TV series, The Naked Chef, by the tender age of 22. A monster advertising deal with Sainsbury’s was soon to follow, allowing Jamie and his mates – strewn through his series as effortlessly as he chucked herbs on his easy dishes – to come into our sitting rooms several times a night. We watched him marry his sweetheart, become a father twice, and chewed our fingernails with Jools in Jamie’s School Dinners, willing him to come home more often. His latest campaign, Jamie’s Fowl Dinners, highlights the animal welfare implications for chickens of our constant demand for cheap food. The story of Jamie Oliver is the story of a culinary revolution. Speaking to people at the very heart of this revolution, from chefs and food stars to politicians and media commentators, Gilly Smith asks if it was Jamie who struck the match, or whether it was simply time to turn up the heat under a world finally ready to feed itself.

A thoughtful and energetic look at Oliver’s life.” – Library Journal





Do you worry that you drink too much? Is your dependence on drugs, food, sex, or some other vice spiralling out of control, taking your quality of life with it? In Who Says I’m an Addict? David Smallwood looks at the issue of addiction with compassion, clarity, and wisdom that comes not only from his own difficult journey with addiction, but from his considerable experience overseeing treatment programmes in rehabilitation clinics. David looks in detail at all areas of addiction – from denial, hitting rock bottom, and dealing with shame and guilt, to how our family of origin and the traumas we go through in childhood influence us in later life. He then explores the road to long-term recovery, guiding readers through the emotional work necessary to ensure that they avoid relapse; finally, they can lay their demons to rest and get on with rebuilding their lives.

I found this book to be a breezy read as David has been able to simplify a rather complicated subject.” – Pia Mellody





This guide is a must have if you’re hoping to have the best possible outcome to your divorce, or wish to see how you can avoid divorce or separation. If you want to be guided through the emotional nitty-gritty of your divorce and come out the other side with your dignity intact, your emotions under control and excited about the possibilities of what is next, Janet Murray’s Essential Divorce Wisdom is for you! Containing 77 pages of essential advice, the secrets you really want to know, tips and strategies, together with some powerful NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques, this eBook will guide you through the emotional and practical side of divorce. It will also help you avoid the costly pitfalls of divorce. Essential Divorce Wisdom will give you and your family the best chance to come out the other side smiling. This packed and practical eBook will be your guide as you walk the unfamiliar path of divorce.

It is essential for all those who face the pain of a divorce.” – Giles Smith




What do you want to be remembered for? What are your relationships like with those around you? How does life treat you - and how do you treat your life? There is so much good in you. Enrich your life with the passion you feel and the connections you make.

Life Without Limits



Janet Murray looks at the latest fad in ending a relationship and how to go about it


Stephen Simpson profiles the enigmatic and focussed mind of Fernando Alonso Díaz


...to be a TV director? We chat with Lisa Gifford, director of the award-winning web series 3some


Had you heard of ‘conscious uncoupling’ before Gwyneth Paltrow recently used it to describe her split from her husband Chris Martin on her Goop website? Janet Murray bets you hadn’t. It seems to be the latest trend when it comes to ending a relationship, so we thought it was worth going into a bit more detail about it. After all, making splits amicable is better for everyone.


plitting up and getting divorced is one of those things in life that nobody expects. It can have a devastating impact on our family, our health, our career, our finances, and our self-esteem. For too many of us, it can feel as though we are battling through the process alone. Friends, family, even our lawyers can offer advice and comfort, but many still feel as though they are lacking the support and guidance they need. Since divorce is a time when we really do need help, is conscious uncoupling something we should be considering when splitting up

from our partner or embarking on a divorce? First of all, what is conscious uncoupling? It does all sound a bit New Age-y doesn’t it? Can we mere mortal non-Hollywood film star/ international pop stars even hope to contemplate it or understand it? Conscious uncoupling, in layman’s terms, is a deep examination on the part of the couple of the reasons for the relationship breakdown. Rather than focusing on blaming one’s partner, both participants take a reflective and conscious look at their own role in the breakdown of the relationship. This might feel


Conscious uncoupling, in layman’s terms, is a deep look on the part of the couple of the reasons for the relationship breakdown.

quite challenging if you’ve just found out that your partner has been having an affair and been spending your joint money on Jimmy Choos or Rolex watches! In the case of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, they were led by Dr. Habib Sadeghi and Dr. Sherry Sami’s understanding of conscious uncoupling: “A conscious uncoupling”, the doctors say, “is the ability to understand that every irritation and argument was a signal to look inside ourselves and identify a negative internal object that needed healing. Because a present event always triggers pain from a past event, it’s never the current situation



that needs the real fixing. It’s just the echo of an older emotional injury. “From this perspective, there are no bad guys, just two people, each playing teacher and student respectively.” The approach is designed to make the process one from which deep spiritual lessons can be gleaned and, of course, to make the split much more amicable than it might be otherwise. It demands a high degree of self-awareness and a great deal of courage from both participants, but delving into the parts of us that contribute to the breakdown of any relationship has the potential to make future relations with ex-partners much more manageable and, best of all, it can prevent us from making similar or identical mistakes in future relationships. Finger pointing and mud slinging shirks responsibility and, all too often, it leaves us blind to the lessons that are present in every relationship breakdown. For those who have experienced divorce, ‘closure’ is a word that was probably on your lips at some point in the process. Conscious uncoupling may be the chance to achieve closure in a dignified and self-reflective way. More in-depth details and help, from what questions to ask when choosing your lawyer, to how to put a co-parenting plan in place, and dealing with your finances through divorce, tips on how to look after yourself through divorce, how to get back into dating and find the right relationship next time and leave the past behind are all covered in Janet Murray’s online divorce support courses which will help you through each of these steps and help you take control of your divorce now. b If you are interested in finding out more about Janet Murray’s online divorce support courses, please click this link: http:// haveapositivedivorce.com/




MOTORCAR RACING In this edited extract from his book, The $447 Million Secrets Of Sport, top mind coach Dr. Stephen Simpson examines the mental qualities that separate Spanish F1 racing driver Fernando Alonso from the pack.



has won the coveted World Championship on two consecutive occasions. He was the youngest driver to achieve this honour, and so he is rightfully considered one of the greatest drivers ever. At the end of the 2013 season, he had collected more Championship points than any other driver in history. Alonso is also the owner of an unusual tattoo on his back. It is an ancient samurai warrior, representing strength, intelligence, and the will to win.

Yamamoto Tsunetomo described these qualities in his spiritual warrior guide, The Book of the Samurai. The true warrior, says Tsunetomo, should consider himself as one already dead. Most coaches would not encourage their clients to follow such a morbid train of thought. However, most would agree that peak performance comes from the mental discipline of staying in the present. The events of the past and the future are of no concern; experiencing the present moment allows for periods of intense concentration. For some, this concentration has opened up paths to


Most would agree that peak performance comes from the mental discipline of staying in the present

enlightenment. Earthly fears – largely the product of focus on the past or the future – act as barriers to peak performance. Athletes at the top of their game often describe their triumphs as arising from discovering the joy of letting go of the fear of failure. Such fearlessness allows them to keep things simple and even abandon the ego in the competitive moment. The difficulty of this kind of release is compounded in dangerous sports like Formula One racing. Alonso is aware of the risks – calculable and otherwise – that he faces every

THEBESTYOU time he is strapped into his car. This is, after all, a sport with a bloody history. The decade and a half spanning the end of the ‘60s and all of the ‘70s is widely known in racing circles as the ‘killing years’. Tracks and cars alike were remarkably dangerous. One professional driver recently claimed that a professional driver racing continuously through the late ‘60s and early ‘70s had only a 33% chance of survival. Thankfully driver safety has improved dramatically since those black years. Since the death of Ayrton Senna in 1994, there have been no deaths in Formula One. Even so, Formula One is still a dangerous sport. The fear of death is ever present in the mind of spectators and participants alike. For some rare and talented individuals, this fear—more precisely the movement through and beyond this fear—can spur them on to tremendous achievements. Samuel Johnson, the great lexicographer and essayist, noted more than two centuries ago that imminent death has the power to sharpen the mind in surprising ways: “When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight,” he said, “it concentrates his mind wonderfully.” Like the man condemned to the gallows, the truly great race car driver must needs move into the mental space that exists on far boundary of—or even beyond—the fear of death. Of course, along with its dangers, Formula One has its share of rewards as well. Fame and fortune are not the easiest gifts to accept and control, especially at an early age. There is nothing more certain to deflect focus than to succumb to the stupefying siren voices of flattery. Surrounded by accolades

FAR TOP Alonso stays Zen in the middle of the race track madness

ABOVE RIGHT Alonso is serious about his racing and likes to keep focused

TOP Ferarri has been sponsoring Alonso for a while

and lavish rewards, Alonso has managed to keep his feet firmly grounded. “Formula One is a strange world,” he says, “but if you have clear values, you can maintain the separation between truth and fiction. If people praise you, you cannot let it go to your head, because at the next race you could be criticised.” It is simple, humble values like these that have kept Alonso moving ever forward, spurring him to train hard, to compete hard, and to outdo the achievements of others and, indeed, his own as well. This is what drives him to get out of bed each day. He keeps life simple, describing his career as, “a simple sport and a simple way to live these seven or eight years of maximum sport.” This simplicity extends to his on-track performance. It helps him to manage and reduce the inevitable stresses that fame, fortune, and the risk of sudden


death bring. “For me,” he says, “tomorrow will be another day whether I finish first or last. I have to do the maximum and I cannot ask any more from myself.” Most people worry too much about their future or past results. This leads to crises of confidence, which inevitably produce poor results. Focus on process, do the best you can, and focus on the present moment. Put the past behind you and don’t scrutinise the horizon too closely. D.T. Suzuki suggests that athletes are too prone to over-analysing technical aspects of their sport. They need to go back to playing sport the way that children do: always in the moment and out of love for the game. Perhaps you would like to encourage your inner child too? Who knows where it may lead you. b Visit Dr. Simpson’s website for suggestions on how to start your journey www.drstephensimpson.com




TV director?

Part of being the best you can be is focusing on what it takes to get there. We’re continuing the “What does it take…?” column, which looks at this aspect of being the best. This month, we’re chatting with award-winning director Lisa Gifford.

work with. And don’t be afraid to drive them mad with questions.

HOW DO YOU BECOME A DIRECTOR? For anyone who isn’t going down a traditional film school route, I’d suggest perhaps doing some work in fringe or amateur theatre with actors first – just to get experience of working with them. Then read directing books to learn the basics and watch films you like to work out what the director did. After that, if you’re not confident enough to pick up a camera, find a good cinematographer to


WHAT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT BEING A DIRECTOR? Putting together all the building blocks: the teamwork, of bringing together the best efforts of cast and crew to make something special happen. I love working through the creative process with actors. You can get inside a script and find all sorts of surprises and new directions to go in. THE WEB SEEMS TO BE THE WAY OF THE FUTURE FOR TV SERIES. HOW DO YOU THINK THIS BENEFITS SERIES CREATORS? The door is open for new creatives – directors, writers, actors, producers, cinematographers, and designers –



to get their work seen. Five years ago, everyone was making short films and trying to get them into festivals; now anyone can get something up on the web. HOW DO YOU THINK IT HURTS THE CREATORS? Because anyone can do it, there’s an issue with quality. Open access platforms are full of bad content. This is where multi-channel networks and curated platforms come into their own. You can go to these sites and know that you’re guaranteed to find something of high quality – whether it is to your taste is something else entirely. WHY DO MEN DOMINATE THE PRODUCTION SIDE OF THE FILM AND TV INDUSTRY? From a young age, more boys tend to get involved in fandoms like sci-fi and horror that have a low/no budget ethos, which is an easier genre to start in than, say, romcoms or princess films, so they are inspired to go into film-making themselves. I’m not saying that girls don’t get involved in these fandoms too, but certainly until the last few years, they would have been a minority. Also, it is very hard to do this job and have a family. I don’t have kids. There’s no way I could do the travel, very late nights, early mornings, and complete and utter dedication this job requires with a child. The financial uncertainty is also another barrier for anyone with kids. Of course, the same is true for men, but women are still the main caregivers, and while this remains, I think women will be put off. HOW DO YOU THINK WE CAN START TO CHANGE THIS? I’m not an advocate of positive discrimination schemes, but I think they could be helpful for new entrants into the industry. There are real issues across the board, not only with women being under-represented, but also ethnic minorities and those from disadvantaged backgrounds. I’m not sure what’s going on currently is at all representative of what our population is, and I’d like to see that evolve.

WHICH LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST ADMIRE AND WHY? Ricky Gervais. He’s worked his way up to where he is, and he is immensely talented as a writer, actor, producer and director. He uses his level of fame to campaign for animal and human rights and to shine a light on subjects that a lot of people find uncomfortable to discuss. He rubs a lot of people the wrong way, and I like that too, because he is unapologetic about the person he is. He promotes kindness and tolerance without being sanctimonious or preachy, but at the same time he calls out ignorance where he sees it. WHAT’S YOUR PROUDEST MOMENT BEEN? Winning the Indie Series Award in L.A. for Best Drama Writer. I really didn’t expect it, so when my name was called I was flummoxed. I kind of floated to the stage and then looked out at the sea of faces and cameras and thought, “what now?” WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE? An actor or a writer. That never changed. But I grew up in a small village where people didn’t do that sort of thing, so at 17 I thought I should go and be ‘responsible’ instead and work in an office. I went and did that, and it was miserable. So, in my thirties, I gave it all up, went to university, and studied theatre, and now here I am. WHICH TV SERIES IDEA DO YOU MOST WISH THAT YOU CAME UP WITH? Life on Mars (the UK version of course). It’s perfect. I’ve studied it a million times to try and learn from how they crafted it, but I think it was pure magic. It all just worked, and worked beautifully. b








Feeling good about yourself makes the joy shine from your eyes and your skin. It makes others respond to you in new ways and it gives you a whole new outlook on life. Looking good draws others to you and enhances your life in ways you haven’t yet imagined. It’s great to find new ways to feel and look good now!

Life Without Limits



Nutritional expert Naomi Beinart explains the phenomenon of the 4pm sugar craving


Zoë Harcombe debunks the age-old myth of five-a-day as a marketing scheme





It’s 4pm, you’ve got an inbox that’s bursting at the seams, a to-do list longer than your morning commute, but all you want to do is devour an entire packet of biscuits. Independent nutritional expert Naomi Beinart helps explain this 4pm food phenomenon and offer us some healthy snack solutions.


verwhelming food cravings are the culprit behind most broken diets. Why does this sweet treat urge always seem to hit us around 4pm? What can we do to curb these calorific cravings? When we are tired, we tend to make poorer food choices, wanting a quick fix (preferably a sweet one) to perk us up. This can occur most often in the afternoon when cortisol levels can take a natural dip (cortisol is a hormone naturally produced by the adrenal glands which, when released, gives us a feeling of energy). When cortisol dips, we may feel more tired.




SWEET FIX Naomi explains: “When you’re in your 20s, it’s very easy to snack on sweet things without putting on weight and still having enough energy to get through the day and go out all night. Fast forward to your 30s and 40s, and sweet snacking can cause a host of problems from premature ageing, a decrease in energy levels, hormonal imbalances, and mood problems.” Thankfully, eating the right foods at the right time can help you manage all of these health concerns. “Eating well”, says Naomi, “will help balance out blood sugar, reduce sweet cravings, increase energy levels and help make skin look better.”

BLOOD SUGAR ROLLERCOASTER Fluctuating glucose levels can be harmful for our health. The rollercoaster of glycemic highs and lows is not good for our general health. If, over time, you become insulin resistant, where more and more insulin is being produced by the pancreas, but the insulin receptors in your cells do not respond effectively to it, then this can increase your risk of diabetes and high blood pressure.

WANT TO GET OFF THE RIDE? A natural nutritional supplement can help balance out your blood sugar levels. Inusol, which, depending on the brand, is available at around £10 for a month’s supply, is a herbal remedy, a blend of natural nutrients and minerals that can help to control blood sugar levels and is free of any harmful chemicals.

WHY INUSOL? Inusol contains key ingredients that have been

shown to regulate sugar cravings, glycemic peaks, and energy dips. Ingredients include: gymnema sylvestre, cinnamon bark, fenugreek, olive leaf, Korean ginseng, psyllium husk, bilberry, and aloe vera. Cinnamon Bark Extract: in clinical studies, cinnamon bark extract exhibited properties proven to be extremely similar to that of insulin. Cinnamon extract can help prevent insulin resistance, thereby regulating your blood sugar levels. Fenugreek Extract: also known as methi seeds, fenugreek seems to slow down sugar absorption while stimulating insulin production, which helps in lowering blood sugar levels. In fact, a clinical study reported that fenugreek reduced fasting blood sugar levels, while improving glucose tolerance tests. Gymnema Sylvestre Extract: used in India for nearly 2,000 years as a diabetes treatment, it is commonly known as gurmar (meaning ‘sugar destroyer’). Gymnema sylvestre appears to slow down sugar absorption from foods, directly promotes insulin production in the pancreas, and makes cells more insulin sensitive. b

ABOVE It's difficult to resist these treats when they look so pretty

NAOMI’S DIET DO’S AND DON’TS l Don’t be restricted by your circumstances. Travel, eating out, and dieting can all restrict our food choices. Overcome these by always having a healthy snack with you, such as a banana, almonds, or oatcakes with guacamole or hummus.

MAIN PICTURE When it comes to 4pm, many of us start day-dreaming about cake

When you’re in your 20s, it’s very easy to snack on sweet things without putting on weight and still having enough energy to get through the day and go out all night.

l Supplements can be helpful in controlling sugar cravings and energy dips. Choose one with key blood sugar regulating properties such as fenugreek extract, cinnamon bark, or gymnema sylvestre extract. l Avoid sushi – the white rice can be bad news for your blood sugar level. Instead, go for sashimi or grilled chicken and vegetables. l Eat every three hours. When you eat, your blood sugar (glucose) rises. The higher and quicker it rises, the more insulin your pancreas has to produce to keep up. The higher your blood sugar goes up, the lower it crashes down afterwards. This crash will also occur if you leave longer than three hours between eating. At the drop, your body will send you off for a quick fix, like a bar of chocolate or a cup of tea and biscuit, because it need to lift the blood sugar up again.





FIVE-A-DAY Five-a-day is the best-known health message in 25 countries and 3 continents. Zoë Harcombe looks at the origin, evidence, and nutritional facts. They may surprise you.


sk the next person who tells you to eat fivea-day where this slogan comes from. Odds are, they won’t know. Five-a-day was invented by the American National Cancer Institute and a bunch (excuse the pun) of fruit and veg companies in California in 1991. These companies clearly stood to profit from any increase in consumption of their products. The National Cancer Institute has since trademarked the term. This myth has become a global nutritional cornerstone,

although, as often happens with things that are not based on fact, it has mutated and become four-a-day in Ireland, six-a-day in Denmark, while Australia has gone for seven-a-day. There was no evidence at the time that any number a day would cure cancer, or any other health condition. There has been none since. In April 2010, a study was published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute written by Paolo Boffetta, the head of a large group of European researchers. The study sought to quantify if cancer risk were inversely associated with intake of fruit and vegetables. This review of



data from the EPIC (European Prospective Investigation into Cancer) study, involving almost half a million people, found that eating five portions of fruit and vegetables a day had little effect on cancer risk. The small observable difference they did see could, they said, be explained by other factors. The study grouped participants into five categories, from the lowest intake of fruits and vegetables (0 to 226 grams a day) to the highest intake (more than 647 grams a day). Significantly, the cancer risk did not vary between the five groups. In November 2010, the UK part of the EPIC study published their findings in the British Journal of Cancer. Professor Tim Key concluded that: “The possibility that fruit and vegetables may help to reduce the risk of cancer has been studied for over 30 years, but no protective effects have been firmly established.” Even in the absence of evidence – and notwithstanding the potential

harm from the 5.6 billion pounds of pesticides used worldwide each year – is there still some benefit for consuming pick-a-numbera-day? This is where we must distinguish between fruit and vegetables – they should never appear together in the same sentence. Some vegetables – especially dark green varieties like spinach, kale and broccoli – can be rich in vitamins and minerals. These need to be served with butter (as granny knows), so that the fat soluble vitamins (A, D, E and K) can be optimised by the body. We still need animal foods (meat, fish, eggs, dairy) for retinol (the form in which the body needs vitamin A), B12, D3 and K2, but certain vegetables can be helpful. Fruit, on the other hand is unhelpful. Fructose (fruit sugar) is called the fattening carbohydrate and this has been known, incredibly, since 1916. Fructose is implicated in non-alcoholic-fatty-liver-

ABOVE Many people believe that fruit juice is healthy, but it's not

OPPOSITE ABOVE Fresh vegetables are a great way to get the nutrients you need

OPPOSITE BLEOW Never underestimate broccoli. It is a true superfood

Fruit, unhelpful. Fructose is called the fattening carb and this has been known since 1916

FEEL & LOOK GOOD disease and Alzheimer’s (now being called diabetes type 3). Fructose goes straight to the liver to be metabolised, where it is nicely turned to fat. Fruit is not even nutritionally worth its fattening properties – it is good for one out of 13 vitamins (vitamin C) – meat, fish and eggs clean up on the other 12. It is good for 1 out of 16 minerals (potassium) – rarely a mineral we are deficient in – animal foods, again, are abundant sources of all essential minerals. Working in the field of obesity, as I do, I am horrified by well-intentioned parents trying to get five-fruit-a-day into their children (fruit being an easier ‘sell’ than veg). This kind of behavior is actually fuelling the obesity epidemic. Table sugar is sucrose – one molecule of glucose and one of fructose. Fruit varies in its balance of glucose and fructose, but it’s the same sugar to the body – fruit just has some nutrition and sucrose none. Fresh fruit is way too high in sugar for anyone concerned about his or her weight. As for dried fruit and fruit juice, don’t even go there. Don’t take my word for it. As Dr. Robert Lustig says, “you wouldn’t dream of giving your child beer or cola, but fruit juice is metabolised by the body in the same way.” Or, as Gary Taubes says, “If you are overweight, fruit is not your friend.” If only public health officials had promoted the five most nutritious foods on the planet, we might not have epidemics of obesity and ill health. An optimally nutritious five-a-day would be meat (ideally liver); fish (ideally sardines); eggs; sunflower seeds and spinach. However, this was never about optimal health – it was a marketing slogan to increase profits of fruit and veg companies. b






Life Without Limits


Wealth [n] “happiness,” also “prosperity in abundance of possessions or riches” from Middle English “wele”, meaning “wellbeing”. Riches [n] “valued possessions, money, property." Make money and bring greater wealth to EVERY area of your life.

FEEL RICH WHEN YOU’RE BROKE Kate Northrup gives us some great tips on how to feel wealthy no matter what’s in your pockets

COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Emma Vites tells us how to make ourselves heard in order to improve our business

HANG IN THERE Gerry Robert says that no matter what your obstacles are, you can overcome them if you hang in there


HOW TO FEEL RICH WHEN YOU’RE BROKE MAIN PICTURE Very few of us are rich, but that doesn't mean you can't feel rich

Even if you are overrun by debt or struggling with money, it is possible to have the experience of true abundance. Life should be filled with gratitude and love, and according to Kate Northrup, both of these critical elements for happiness and abundance are free. money, to keep a desire list, and to do the exercises outlined below. Creating a book with the specific intention of cultivating a loving relationship with your money can have a very powerful, positive energetic effect on your money.



O matter what your bank statement says, there are countless ways to create the experience of feeling prosperous. These practices don’t have to cost a lot – or even any – money and they can shift the way you experience money instantly.

CREATE A MONEY LOVE JOURNAL What we put our attention on grows. Many of us forget to include our money in our regular mindfulness practices. A money love journal will give you a special place to write your own money love story. It’s a great place to journal about your emotions regarding


A money love journal will give you a special place to write your own money love story. It’s a great place to journal about your emotions regarding money

Find a blank book that looks and feels really abundant to you. The colors gold, deep purple, red, and royal blue are associated with prosperity in Feng Shui, so choosing a book in those tones would be perfect. This is your sacred book for the practice of loving your money, so make sure you love it. If you want to save money, you can even make one yourself. Just Google DIY blank books and you’ll find tons of ideas.

MONEY CAN BE SPIRITUAL Many people hold the belief that having money or wanting to make money is unspiritual. It’s important to be aware of the beliefs that are running your relationship with money. If you believe its unspiritual to have or want to have money, there’s no way you’re going


to allow yourself to have abundance. Since money is simply a stand-in for what we value, and since we earn money based on the amount of value we’ve offered to the world, making money can, in fact, be a deeply spiritual practice. If you’re focused on being of service and adding value, you will earn more money. Moving through the world in this way is a spiritual practice. That’s a win-win.

TASK: Begin to pay attention to your thoughts, beliefs, and words about money. What we think and say are powerful forces that shape our realities. Stop making negative comments about people with money. Replace “I can’t afford that” with “I’m choosing not to buy that.” Examine your inner money monologues so you can change your story.

PLUGGING FINANCIAL ENERGY LEAKS Since money is a stand in for what we value, it’s important to spend money only on those people, places, and things that we value. When our

spending is in alignment with our values, we feel good. When our spending isn’t in alignment with our values, we feel guilt, shame, fear, or worry.

TASK: Look at your most recent credit card or bank statement. Go through each expense and check in with yourself. Ask yourself: “How do I feel about that purchase?” If you get an expansive, good feeling, put a smiley face next to it. If you get a contracted, negative feeling, put frown next to it. Now, go through and identify what sort of situation you were in when you made each frown face purchase. Who were you with? Where were you? What were the emotions you were feeling at the time? This will give you the powerful information you need to change your future spending habits in a way that repairs your financial energy leaks. Next time you’re in those situations, be more vigilant when you take out your wallet.

THE TRUE MEANING OF ABUNDANCE True abundance isn’t about stuff, it’s about a feeling.


Having material goods like a beautiful home, good food, and nice clothing may make you feel abundant, but so will health, great friends, and adventure. Each person will have a different set of circumstances that make him or her feel whole and abundant; it’s important to define what those are for you. Detach your perception of abundance from material wealth and start to

Moving through the world in this way is a spiritual practice. That’s a win-win.

BELOW Who says money and spirituality can't be connected?

create a new, broader, more inclusive definition for yourself.

TASK: Make a practice of cutting out pictures from magazines that evoke a feeling of abundance to you that aren’t necessarily associated with material things. A beautiful picture of an ocean, an image of a family seated around a table, or a photo of a woman practicing yoga might all be great images that represent abundance. b




COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY There are lots of different types of people in this world, each with different experiences, beliefs, values, and goals. Each has a unique interpretation of what is right and wrong. For Emma Vites, effective communication begins with this understanding.


he biggest barrier to effective communication is

the belief that only you are ‘right’ in your thought processes and that other people are ‘wrong’. It can be so easy to think, “That’s just not right” when hearing something that you don’t agree. Even worse, you can upset others by declaring their opinions to be ‘embarrassing’ or ‘wrong’. It is important to realise that not everybody thinks the same way. Each of us is exposed to different ideas and concepts. Of course, the person who has travelled the world, lived on a different continent, met new people, and read books will have a different thought process than will the person who has stayed in their native neighbourhood all their life. This doesn't mean that the person who has travelled is right about everything, just that they have been exposed to different


MAIN PICTURE Our forms of communication have changed over the years, but the principles are the same

things and will, therefore, have a different perspective. What we need to realise is that everyone’s subconscious is filled with different influences. Everyone has had a different upbringing with different parents, different friends, teachers, media influences, and work experiences. All of these factors create the person’s thoughts and perspectives. We need to keep this in mind when we are communicating with other people. We need to start thinking about everything from the other person’s point of view and figuratively place ourselves into their heads. This really helps when you are angry with someone. If you can start seeing things from their perspective, you will begin to understand why the person spoke or acted the way that they did. What we also need to remember is that there are gender differences to take into account when communicating effectively. John Gray delves into this topic heavily in his brilliant book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Men and women have different styles of communicating and different ways that they want to be communicated with as well. When communicating with women, it is important to listen and empathize. With men, be direct and to the point.





Life Without Limits

The moral of the story is that everyone is different; they have all had different influences that have formulated their opinions Added to this, everyone has a different personality type and a preferred way to be communicated with. If you complete the personality questionnaire, a link to which you’ll find below, you can discover your personality type. The model is called iMA, and the concept is that everyone possesses one of four personality styles and, therefore, each individual only naturally connects with 25 per cent of the population. The flip side of this is that there is 75 per cent of the population that most individuals won’t naturally connect with. Again, this is important to realise when communicating effectively; each personality style has a preferred way of being communicated with. If you learn this, you will be a successful communicator. The moral of the story is that everyone is different; they have all had different influences that have formulated their opinions and beliefs. It is important to empathise with the person you are communicating with, put yourself into their shoes, and understand that each and everyone one of us is ‘right’ in our own individual map and model of the world. b To take the iMA personality test, click here: ima-connecting.com

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HANG IN THERE Life can be tough on a person. It can be tough on a family. So many people lack the mental ability to hang in there in the tough times. You can control your thoughts, says Gerry Robert.




OU can practice perspective by changing the way you interpret your circumstance, situations, and environments. The task is not to see a new world but to see the world with new eyes. The person who can change the way they view their world will win without fail. A stranger chanced upon several workers in a small town in Italy. Curious and interested, he asked the workers what they were doing. “I’m laying bricks”, said the first worker. After a few minutes of idle chat, he asked of another, “What are you doing? Laying bricks, eh?” The other worker, somewhat indignantly responded, with shoulders straight and firmness of voice, “Laying bricks? No, sir. I am building a cathedral.” Both workers were working on the same job. One saw his tasks as laying brick upon brick upon brick, while the other one saw a work being offered to the glory of God. Two people, two perspectives! Why is it that some people choose to see the worst in a situation while others choose to see the best in the same situation? Which one do you think will encounter more success on this great journey we're on? Everyone has obstacles. Everyone needs perspective in the face of those challenges. Your response to dealing with the storms of life will dictate the results you achieve. What follows is practical solutions to dealing with those times in life when everything seems to be going the opposite to your preferences.

HANG IN THERE AND LEARN Challenges will come. Everywhere will be hit by the storms of life. If you remember that there is something to learn in every problem, you can learn to

grow by the storms rather than being crushed by them. Take a good look at the obstacles in your path. Instead of cursing them and wishing them away, ask yourself what you can learn from your situation. How can you become a better person through them? Someone once said that we go on experiencing life’s lessons until we learn what we need to learn, then we can move on. Remember, above every stormy cloud is a bright sun, which never fades.

HANG IN THERE AND FIND THE GEM There are two sides to every coin. The Chinese call this the Yin/Yang principle. Every negative has a positive opposite. You just have to look for it. One person’s disaster will become the vehicle for another person to become wealthy. During the Great Depression, not everyone went belly-up. Some people actually became rich. When you see a problem, you also need to see an opportunity. One of the fastest ways to become wealthy is to solve someone’s problems or difficulties. Many successful businesses today have been born out of someone’s problem. Take the man who took surplus sawdust from the lumber mills free of charge and formulated several wood-burning products from it. He saw that lumber yards had a problem with excess sawdust. They didn’t know what to do with it. He acted and began a wonderful business.

HANG IN THERE AND BE PATIENT Every problem will go away. Either it will change or you will. No problem is permanent. Worry is useless. Instead, of being ready to give in, just remember that every problem has a limited lifespan. Things will get better. Seek to grow.

There are two sides to every coin. The Chinese call this the Yin/Yang principle. Every negative has a positive opposite. You just have to look for it. One person’s disaster will become the vehicle for another person to become wealthy.

WEALTH & RICHES How about the Berlin Wall? Who could have guessed that within days it could be demolished. Within weeks, Communism would crumble. A problem which many people feared would plague the earth for centuries disappeared in a flash.

HANG IN THERE AND THINK There are no problems, there’s only a shortage of ideas. Problems are not the problem. Ideas are the problem. Every single problem, challenge, or storm you face today has as its solution an idea waiting to be used. If you could only understand that the only thing standing between your current problem and the wiping away of it is nothing but an idea. So, get your eyes off your problems and onto the solution. You may not be able to do anything about what has happened, but you surely can and should do something about finding a solution. That solution may seem like a fantasy right now, but keep in mind that the airplane was nothing but a fantasy until two brothers starting searching for ideas to make their fantasy a reality.

HANG IN THERE AND BE GRATEFUL Even the most together people have storms to face. In fact, the people who are winning the most in life often have the biggest challenges in front of them. The people who win the most in life are often the biggest risk-takers. Since you’re not alone, why not align yourself with others who may be facing what you are facing. You could perhaps solve your problems together. Never forget that the greater the obstacle, the greater the opportunity. Don't sweat the small stuff. And remember, it's all small stuff.









I will end the history of division and conflict through reconciliation and fairness.”

Broadcast TV is like the landline of 20 years ago.”

At first glance, following in the footsteps of one’s father would hardly seem to be something entirely out of the ordinary. However, Park Geun-Hye’s father was the President of South Korea, and she is the country’s first-ever female president. Born in 1952, President Geun-Hye’s map to the eventual modern presidency in South Korea was already being drawn by her father, who served as the country’s President from 1963-1979. While attending University in France, Geun-Hye was affected by an incident back home that would propel her political career: the assassination of her mother. Geun-Hye would serve as de facto First Lady of South Korea until 1979 when her father met the same unfortunate fate as her mother. Determined after these traumatic events, Geun-Hye began her career as an assemblywoman in South Korea’s Grand National Party. Her first presidential bid came in 2007, when she narrowly lost the presidency to a rival. After a heated race with a dark-horse candidate in 2012, Geun-Hye claimed the presidency. When she became the 18th president of South Korea, her approval rating shot through the roof, thus validating what the entire country had known since her days as an assemblywoman: she was born to lead.

Perhaps it is fitting that Hastings came of age in the 1960s; the age’s tendency to question authority inspired his own fiercely independent spirit. Hastings’s early proclivity for innovation surfaced while he was in the Marine Corps – not the likeliest of venues. He regularly questioned the simplest of routines, such as how the recruits made their beds each day. He then put his energy and drive into Pure Software, a company that detected bugs in computer programs. Hastings grew the organisation to rapid success. That same year, he was one of the first Silicon Valley innovators to look south and devise a way to introduce his tech prowess to Hollywood. Netflix was born in 1997 as purely a ‘film rental by mail’ service. Almost 20 years later Netflix has built a subscriber base of over 44 million customers. Additionally, it has morphed into a premium content provider, rivalling the likes of HBO and AMC. Along the way, Hastings committed the company to such public gaffes as splitting up the service’s streaming division and its DVD-by-mail counterpart. However, he has steered the Netflix ship mostly to blue skies since it’s founding. The mark of a true entrepreneur is fearlessness in the face of failure and the ability to keep moving right along. It’s what has made Reed Hastings the envy of the modern entertainment business.












The lesson is that you can still make mistakes and be forgiven.”

When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?”

Born in New York City in 1965, Robert Downey Jr. was brought up in a culture of drug and alcohol abuse. Downey’s father, Robert Downey Sr., was a filmmaker of some repute. It was his father that gave Downey access to drugs at a young age; it was a path down which he would walk and from which he would attempt to divert for most of his adult life. Following early honing of his talents in theatre roles, Downey briefly joined the cast of Saturday Night Live before breaking through in notable roles in several 1980s coming-of-age films such as Weird Science and The Pickup Artist. It was during this run of success that Downey’s demons began haunting him in earnest. He was addicted to several substances including cocaine and heroin, entering rehabilitation programs throughout the 1990s and early 2000s. He went through several arrests and a bottoming-out of his career. As if he knew he was destined for greater things, Downey, after a long struggle with addiction, finally become drug free and sober. The director Jon Favreau famously chose him to play the titular role in Iron Man because Downey so closely embodied what makes the character of Iron Man tick. The casting proved to be utter perfection, with all three films in the series attaining stunning global success and providing Robert Downey Jr. with a new lease on life both personally and professionally.

It’s fitting that Sarah Jessica Parker is sometimes known as America’s sweetheart. Parker was the youngest of four children born into a struggling family in an Ohio coal-mining town. Her parents divorced when she was two. Soon after, her mother remarried and had four more children. With so many mouths to feed, her schoolteacher mother and truck driver stepfather struggled to get by. Parker was schooled in the arts from a young age, becoming versed in singing, dancing, and theatre during her formative years in Cincinnati, Ohio, and later in New York. After some stage success, Parker found herself cast in the 1980s U.S. sitcom Square Pegs. Subsequently, she landed iconic roles in classic films such as Footloose and Girls Just Want To Have Fun. She went on to star and co-star in several successful films in the 1990s, however it was near the end of that decade that she starred as Carrie Bradshaw in the HBO series Sex And The City, the role that would define her career and catapult her to superstardom. The series went on to spawn two feature films and a global franchise that is sure to remain in the global pop vernacular for generations to come. Sarah Jessica Parker was hesitant to star in a television series, but she went all in and proved that success often comes from the least likely of sources.






THE BEST YOU DIRECTORY The Best Professionals in Personal Development



Dr Stephen Simpson NLP, Hypnotherapy, and Havening Email: doc@drstephensimpson.com Website: www.drstephensimpson.com clients include leading names from the world of sport, business, and the entertainment industries.

Shayna Schulman Attitude adjuster and flexibility enhancer Email: Shayna.s@virgin.net Phone: +44 (0) 208 960 7715 Licensed trainer, coaching, consulting, yoga, nutrition

NLP TRAINERS Tina Taylor: Licensed Master Trainer and Practitioner Email: kay@the-me-group.com Phone: +44 (0) 7946 351640 Website: tina@tina-taylor.com Tina’s experience allows her to create and provide some very unique coaching services from stopping addictions to pregnancy and pain control.

Ulrika Shaw: Thrive consultant and hypnotherapist Email: enquiry@shawmind.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7810 556029 Website: www.shawmind.co.uk Are you suffering from anxieties or depression? Maybe you’re struggling with bad habits such as overeating or smoking? I help people overcome anything that holds them back!

Geoff Rolls: Corporate Coach and Kinesiologist Email: geoff@geoffrolls.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7905 056 513 Website: www.geoffrolls.co.uk Learning and development, NLP Trainer, TFH Kinesiology Instructor

June O’Driscoll: Exec Coach, Business Coach, Trainer Email: june@thoughtitude.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7876 657 8055 Website: www.thoughtitude.co.uk NLP, Coaching and Hypnotherapy Training School and Consultancy

LIFE COACHES Dr Andrew A Parsons Mindfulness, Resilience and Finding Clear Purpose Email: aaparsons@reciprocalminds.com Phone: +44 (0)7854 029 268 Support people, build awareness and make changes for success

Dustin Vice Personal and Business Development Coaching Email: dustin@alliancecoachingsystem.com Website: www.alliancecoachingsystem.com Professional Coaching, Coaching Business system for professional coaches

Gail Cherry: Torchlight Coaching Email: gail@torchlightcoaching.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)1143 489 161 Website: www.torchlightcoaching.co.uk Helping people with their personal and professional development. We work together to be the best you.

Ruth Hepworth: Life Coach Email: ruth.hepworth@ntlworld.com Phone: +44 (0)1252 655 849

Those Life Consultant Guys: Coaching, Seminars. Business, goal setting and more. Website: www.thoselifeconsultantguys.com A coaching company who pride ourselves in helping you live your best life; every day, through one on one sessions and seminar programmes.

Nick Nanton Career and Life Coaching, Consultancy and Public Speaking Website: www.nicknanton.com Phone: (407) 215-7737 Recognised as one of the top thought-leaders in the business world

Edson Williams: Life Coaching Email: edson@leadbyexample.com Phone: +44(0)7867517777 Website: www.leadbyexample.com Specialising in leadership development and sport coaching

David Owen: Life Coach & NLP Trainer Email: bestyou@excel-yourself.com Phone: 07900 243494 Website: www.excel-yourself.com Stop smoking, slimming, phobias, relationships, stress, confidence, self-esteem.

THE BEST YOU DIRECTORY The Best Professionals in Personal Development

PHOBIA SPECIALISTS John Vincent Public speaking without fear Email: John@JohnVincent.tv Phone: +44 (0)7808 545 421 Website: www.johnvincent.tv

Paul Wright Phobias, Anxieties, Panic Attacks Email: paul@phobiagone.com Phone: +44 (0)203 086 8444 Website: www.phobiagone.com

NLP THERAPISTS / HYPNOTHERAPISTS Linda Cameron and Gail Walshe Inspire For Impact Email: say-hello@inspireforimpact.com Phone: +44 (0)845 601 7567 Website: www.inspireforimpact.com NLP Trainers, NLP Master Practitioners, NLP Life Coaches, Hypnotherapists

Debbie Williams Birmingham NLP Practice Group Website: www.debbiewilliams.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)121 241 0728 Life coaching, public speaking, sports coaching, all eating disorders, emotional mastery, OCD, stopping blushing, cocaine addiction, binge drinking.

Edson Williams Coaching, NLP, Personal Development Email: say-hello@inspireforimpact.com Phone: +44 (0) 7867517777 Website: www.leadbyexample.com With a holistic approach Edson is specialized in performance coaching

Laura Spicer: Public speaking skills and confidence Email: laura.spicer@gmail.com Phone: 01752 361 576 Website: www.laura-spicer.com The only accredited Sound Practice Trainer for the Society of NLP

EATING DISORDERS John Arroyo Coaching, Personal Development Email: john@johnarroyo.co.uk I have been a therapist and personal development trainer for 20 years, specialising in eating disorders for the last 10 years.


National Centre For Eating Disorders Phone: +44 (0)845 838 2040 Coaching, Personal Development Website: www.eating-disorders.org.uk National Centre for Eating Disorders Effective help & treatment for sufferers. Excellence in training for professionals.


Pasquale Acampora (Italy) Master Trainer and Mental Coach, NLP, Team building Website: www.blackship.it Phone: +39 (0)335 70 99 000 Pasquale’s key areas are sport and business, he has worked with top athletes and multinational companies.

Alessandro Mora (Italy) Sport Coaching Email: a.mora@ekis.it Phone: +39 (0)522 337 611 Website: www.pnlekis.com NLP, coaching and team building applied to sport and business all over Italy

Xavier Pirla (Spain): NLP Master Trainer and NLP Coach Email: kay@the-me-group.com Phone: 91 002 84 44 (Madrid) 93 193 6449 (Barcelona) Website: www.the-me-group.com NLP, NLP Business Applications, Coaching workshops and Consultancy

Aleksander Sinigoj (Slovenia) Mastermind Academy Email: info@itnlp.com Website: www.aleksandersinigoj.com Leadership, Motivation, Sales, Business NLP

If you’d like to be featured on this list, please contact us on 0203 011 0866 or email advertising@thebestyou.co Visit www.thebestyoudirectory.co for more personal development professionals.




BE GRATEFUL Redirect your attention to the simple pleasures of life: a sunset, a walk on the beach, the aroma of a coffee shop, or a conversation with someone who you care about. It is in these moments that true inspiration occurs and we find new ways to redesign our lives. Gratitude enriches our lives. By being thankful, we can see things in an entirely new light. This can be as simple as being grateful for every day we are privileged enough to spend above ground.

For five or ten minutes at least once a day practice being present in and aware of your experience. Pay attention to whatever thoughts, feelings, evaluations, memories, sensations etc., come up without trying to influence them. When you start looking from within your thoughts, shift yourself back into the role of an observer. Let your thoughts come and go as they please. Accept each facet of your experience. Remember, don’t take the contents of your mind seriously – your sense of self does not depend on the content of your mind.


TO ENJOY LIFE We live in a fast-paced world. Our attention is ever on the move, shifting from an email, a text message, or a phone call. In many cases, this can be driven by other people’s agendas. Geoff Edwards gives you some tips to enjoy life in spite of these things.

DO NOT DISTURB We may try to be grateful, live in the present moment, or take time out for ourselves, but this is often disrupted by a phone call or a Facebook notification. When you are taking the time out to enjoy life, make sure you cannot be disturbed. The world will not collapse if you are out of contact for 30 minutes, so switch your phone off and just enjoy yourself.you will be so pleased with your progress that it will not matter what your ego thinks.


By giving yourself some time and space to get away from the expectations, the conversations, the noise, the media, and the pressure, you will gain valuable perspective. Take some time each day to go for a long walk and think. Plant yourself on a park bench and look at the beauty around you. Take a long thoughtful road trip. Whatever you do, move away from anything that distracts you from contemplating your life and where you want it to go. In solitude, you should feel independent and self-aware. If you spend time and energy noting the simple pleasures in life, you will be well on your way to self-discovery.





The pace of change can sometimes bewilder, but it can also give amazing opportunities to meet new people, discover new things and thrive. Bring out the best in you by discovering the latest innovations that will put you ahead of the pack.

Life Without Limits



Many a company has made the old Twitter faux pas. Lon Safko explains how to use it the right way


We look at some of the newest gadgets that have been designed to make your life easier



BE TWITTER WISE Twitter, the 140-character social media phenomenon, has more than 646 million members who collectively generate more than 58 million tweets per day. It is considered one of the three most influential digital marketing platforms on Earth. Lon Safko offers some advice on how to use it wisely.


f used in the right ways, Twitter can be a powerful marketing tool. The Follower groups can be quite large, so a well-timed or well-executed message can have global reach. The top three people world-wide with the most Twitter followers are: Katy Perry (@katyperry) sporting 52,675,009, Justin Bieber (@ justinbieber) singing out to 51,293,130, and Barack Obama (@BarackObama) presiding over 42,782,502 followers. This list might also represent a social

commentary on our perceived hero priorities. Recently, the New York Police Department (NYPD) launched what was to be a disastrous Twitter campaign in an effort to create an uncensored dialogue and communicate more effectively with their community. With best intentions in mind, they created “My NYPD “ and initiated the hashtag #myNYPD in the hopes of getting people to Tweet and attach images of the NYPD doing nice things for and with


MAIN PICTURE Manage your tweets from anywhere with tablets and smartphones

the citizens of New York. The effort proved otherwise when citizens of NY began posting image after image of police brutality. As a result, similar hashtags sprang up around the U.S. with #MyLAPD, #MyCPD and #MyAPD. While I am a strong proponent of user generated content, creating such an open ended, uncontrollable Twitter campaign was irresponsible. On a blog or a forum, the conversation can be moderated. On LinkedIn and Facebook, there are some controls on what users can post, and on Pinterest and Instagram, removing photos and comments are a snap. Twitter lacks controls like these; once a tweet has been sent, it can be retweeted an infinite number of times and be sent directly to mobiles worldwide in an instant. While it’s important to recognise the risks inherent in a tweet’s viral potential, I don’t want to harp on the negatives too much. Let’s look at some brands that have put twitter to great use.


OPPOSITE BELOW Sign up for twitter now and start communicating with your clients

During this year’s Super Bowl, the stadium experienced a massive power failure. While the game was on hold, Oreo cookies scored a surprising touchdown. Kraft fielded a gifted offensive team with amazing foot speed. Within minutes of the blackout, Oreo was already broadcasting its “Dunk In The Dark”, series


of tweets and retweets: “Power out?” asked one of the tweets. “No problem, you can dunk in the dark”. The fans rallied with tens of thousands of retweets and original tweets playing off Kraft’s initial message. For those interested in branding and marketing, these Tweets became more important than who actually won the game.

WESTJET This Calgary, Canada based airline set up a virtual Santa Claus in a small kiosk in a Toronto airport terminal where people were getting ready to fly back to Calgary for the holidays. The passengers got to interact with the video Santa and tell Santa what they would like for Christmas. Once the flight was airborne, volunteers gathered gifts from a local outlet mall and Best Buy. The plane landed in the Calgary International Airport, and the passengers went to collect their bags at the baggage carousel. Instead of suitcases coming off the conveyor belt, though, they were greeted with presents from Santa—everything they had told the virtual Santa that they wanted for Christmas, ranging from socks and underwear to big-screen televisions came tumbling onto the conveyor belt. WestJet used Twitter to share the link to this heart-warming video that drove nearly 36 million viewers to the YouTube. https://www.youtube. com/watch?v=zIEIvi2MuEk

different demographics and with many different interests. With only a budget of $15,000 USD, McDonald's Canada saw an increase of more than 9,500 new followers, which resulted in more than 14,000 profile views throughout that campaign. Twitter paid advertising includes promoted tweets, trends and accounts. McDonald’s Canada tested different keywords and bids to identify the greatest number of new followers.

DOMINO’S PIZZA (@DOMINOS_UK) Domino’s Pizza in the United Kingdom launched a Twitter campaign targeting the lunch crowd called “Knock Down the Price of Pizza” campaign. Domino’s used the hashtag #letsdolunch, asking followers to tweet using that hashtag. Every time someone tweeted that hashtag, Domino’s reduced the price of their most popular pizza, the large Pepperoni by £0.01 driving the cost for that pizza from £15.99 down to £7.74. This clever campaign increased sales during lunch, increased brand awareness, and brand engagement.



TOP 19 TIPS TO USING TWITTER THE RIGHT WAY l Avoid using too many #hashtags, which make Tweets confusing. l Avoid making your Tweets too long so people have to delete characters to retweet. l Don’t post to the wrong account if you own multiple accounts. l Use different posting tools for different accounts. l Never ever sell from a Tweet. You’ll get 'flamed'. l Set up free twitter analytics such as twitter, HootSuite, and SproutSocial. l Use your analytics such as geographic area, peak hours, and influencers. l Size doesn’t matter, good content does. Good content gets retweeted. l Use current events and holidays to your advantage. l Create a conversation with your followers at all live events using #Hashtags. l Interact with your followers in real time. People expect fast responses. l Be authentic and sincere or your customers will see right through you. l Listen! Be there to encourage good conversations and diffuse negative ones. l Use all of your other social media networks to drive followers to your twitter account. l Use twitter to drive 'likes' and 'links' on all of your other social networks. l If you are geo-targeted (do business within a small geographic area), discover a local need. l Bring a human side to your brand. People buy from people, not brands. l Determine the exact right time to target your specific audience. l Whenever possible, use celebrity endorsements.

MCDONALD'S CANADA (@MCD_CANADA) McDonald's Canada’s goal was to leverage their existing Twitter Followers to increase the number of new followers to their @McD_Canada's address using specified keywords and hashtags. They found that by using diverse set of keywords and hashtags, the company began to reach viewers in many





AND GREATEST Technology is a living entity, constantly changing with the times. This month, The Best You brings you some of the latest and greatest gadgets, all designed to make your life easier. KOUBACHI WI-FI PLANT SENSOR Not all of us were born with a green thumb, so we may need a little help from time to time. Enter the Koubachi Wi-Fi Plant Sensor, which has been designed especially for the gardening novices out there. All you have to do is stick it in the soil; it will collect all the data (sunlight, temperature and moisture levels) you need to know what you can plant there. Once you have planted your saplings, you can analyse the data on your PC or with a smartphone app to determine the exact needs of your plant. The Koubachi will stand watch, sending an alert to your phone when your plants need attention. Recommended retail price: £99.95

IROBOT SCOOBA 450 We live in a world with robots, and we make them scrub our floors. While you let that absurdity settle, consider the new iRobot Scooba 450, which, like its carpet cleaning cousin the Roomba, is a pizza-shaped robot that only exists to make your tiled and hardwood floors clean. Just fill the tank, press CLEAN, and the Scooba Three-Cycle Cleaning Process automatically sweeps and pre-soaks, scrubs, then squeegees your floors, tackling stuck-on messes and washing away over 99.3 per cent of bacteria. The Scooba is available from the iRobot website, but you might have to get in line – these babies won’t stay on the shelves for long. Recommended retail price: £599.99




THE SAMSUNG GALAXY K ZOOM The camera and smartphone are no longer mere acquaintances – they’re firm friends. Like love and marriage, you can’t get one without the other, but until now, having a device that can text, surf the internet, receive emails, make phone calls, organise your calendar, and take pictures, meant settling for sub-standard photography. Like a compact camera, the Galaxy K Zoom offers 10x optical zoom to get you closer to the action. Since the lens retracts neatly into the body of the smartphone, you don’t sacrifice any convenience or portability. When you want to use it as a phone, it’s slim and sleek like a smartphone should be. Recommended retail price: €519

MICROSOFT OFFICE FOR IPAD This is a bit of a cheeky entry because it’s about software and not a gadget per say, but it does enhance an existing gadget, so we think it deserves its place on this list. Users can now download Word, Excel and Powerpoint for iPad from the App Store, with the promise of delivering an unbeatable local and cloud productivity experience. Apple does a lot of things well, namely design and usability, but they have failed to create an office software package to rival Microsoft’s. Now you can enjoy the best of both worlds, typing out your blog entries in Microsoft Word and uploading them with Safari. Available for free download in the iTunes store, if you want to view documents. To edit, you have to subscribe

SONY MDR-HW700DS When it comes to anything to do with sound, bigger numbers are usually better. You may think you are satisfied with your 5.1 or 7.1 sound systems, but that satisfaction might not last long. The latest wireless headphones from Sony offer a 9.1 audio experience – one that comes without a room cluttered with loudspeakers. Sony calls it Virtualphones Technology, which, they say, reproduces the effect of multi-channel speakers. The headphones are designed for absolute aural pleasure and are a musthave for any music aficionado. The only downside to this amazing aural experience is the whopping price tag. Recommended retail price: £450

HUMAX STA-1200 BSW This is what’s been missing for so long from slimline TV – and it adds an exciting new dimension to your total enjoyment. The STA-1200 BSW Soundbar is amazingly compact, yet, with its passive subwoofer, it delivers sensational surround sound with explosive bass. Different modes allow you to match the audio to the mood of whatever you’re watching. As well as improving the sound on your TV, the STA-1200 BSW can be connected to music devices and used to enhance the sound. Its black finish and sleek lines add a sophisticated touch to your system. Brilliant to listen to, beautiful to look at. Recommended retail price: £200 WWW.THEBESTYOUMAGAZINE.CO | 65

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The Best You June 2014  

We are very proud to present Jamie Oliver as the cover star of this stellar issue. We have been following his career since he was a skinny,...

The Best You June 2014  

We are very proud to present Jamie Oliver as the cover star of this stellar issue. We have been following his career since he was a skinny,...