The Best You August 2013

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August 2013 / Price £3.99

RIchard Bandler

Life Without Limits

Interview with the Co-Creator of NLP


The Best of British

Oprah Winfrey Success didn’t come easy for the First Lady of television

the hoarder within us

Hacker or Cracker?

It could be you

We take a look at compulsive hoarding

Hackers who work on the right side of the law

We look at some inspiring National Lottery projects

The family unit is going through changes

Also: what to do in a financial crisis

don’t miss the next issue!


now subscribe to The Best You Magazine now Please visit our website to order your free digital 12 month subscription.

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Bernardo Moya welcomes you to the latest issue of The Best You

31 BOOK REVIEWS We give you our top literary choices – a small selection of what’s available

64 TOP TIPS: OUT FOR THE WIN! Gary Russell gives you some tips on getting ahead of the pack



One of the most powerful women in the world, Oprah is this month’s cover star

12 RICHARD BANDLER The Co-Creator of NLP chats to us

about the therapy that put him on the map

16 THE BEST OF BRITISH We ask tennis experts what makes Andy Murray so great

INNER YOU 20 NOTES FROM AN NLP NEWBIE Our Deputy Editor Zoë Henry gives some notes on what it’s like to be new to NLP

22 ALL A-HOARD Associate Editor Matt Wingett looks at the nature of hoarding, and how to stop it



This month’s Bucket List column is all about cities to see before you die


David Saunderson interviews a

champion barman about what makes the best

THE BEST YOU No. 10 · August 2013 · Year 1 · EDITOR / PUBLISHER Bernardo Moya · DEPUTY EDITOR Zoë Henry · ASSOCIATE EDITOR Matthew Wingett · GRAPHIC DESIGN · Joanna Frackiewicz · NEW MEDIA · Allan Banford · TECHNICAL CONSULTANT Martin Carter · ADVERTISING · Carla Phipps · The Best You Corporation LTD 5 Percy St. · London, United Kingdom, W1T 1DG · Tel: +44 (0)845 230 2033 ·


august 2013



44 It could be you

The Lottery isn’t only about making millionaires. We look at some of the great work it does

46 Generate gravitas Having trouble making people sit up and take notice? Mike Clayton has some advice

feel & look good 50 Stage fright

Fear of public speaking is the most common phobia. Marisa Peer says get over it

52 Living a Vivid Life

46 Generate gravitas Having trouble making people sit up and take notice? Mike Clayton has some advice

Kristen White speaks to Shayne Traviss about the runaway success of his radio station

54 It’s the good news

So much of the news we read is bad. Here are some stories to lift your spirits

wealth & RICHES 57 How to make money Everybody wants to know how to do it. Michael Neill has some tips

58 How to be a top… entrepreneur

Got an idea that can make you millions? How about developing it yourself

60 When financial crisis strikes Still in the depths of recession, Sue Plumtree gives us some guidance we could all use

62 The Rocky Road to Success

The Best You looks at some inspirational people from history who didn’t have success handed to them on a silver platter


68 Top 10 wellbeing blogs We love a list, so we bring you our favourite wellbeing blogs

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66 Lawful hackers Hackers aren’t always the bad guys. Rahul Gulati explains what it’s like being a hacker on the right side of the law

68 Top 10 wellbeing blogs

We love a list, so we bring you our favourite wellbeing blogs

the best you



What do they know?


o you know what the following people have in common? Richard Branson, Whoopi Goldberg, Albert Einstein, Muhammad Ali, Steven Spielberg, John Lennon, Pablo Picasso, Tom Cruise, Liv Tyler, Thomas Edison, Tommy Hilfiger, Leonardo DaVinci, Alyssa Milano, Steve Redgrave, David Bailey and Jamie Oliver? Did you guess? Among many others, all these people had what is known today as a “learning disability”. They are or were dyslexic and in many cases were told by their peers, teachers, bosses or “experts” that they wouldn’t amount to much – if anything at all. Winston Churchill had a “speech impediment” which accounted for his slurred speech. Interestingly, when he had his first set of dentures fitted, his trademark voice was so important to him that he had his false teeth modified to ensure he kept the slur. John Lennon mentioned in interviews that he was “never

a speller” though he wrote some of the best-known lyrics of the 20th Century. Agatha Christie had difficulty understanding written words. Her books have so far sold in excess of 1 billion copies. The common denominator with many successful people in business, sports, music or any other industry is that when they are that told they will not achieve anything in life or that their ideas are crazy and will never work, they go out of their ways to prove that they are right. Many, if not all, of them use negative words to propel themselves to success. Their job is to prove others wrong and teach them a lesson about life. They know that with the right attitude and hard work anything is possible. It’s a great example to follow. My words to you are this: if you have dreams follow them, pursue them... and make them real. Nobody can tell you otherwise. This month, we feature Oprah Winfrey who had an extremely difficult start in

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.

life. Raped when young and pregnant at 14, she is today one of the most powerful and richest women in the world. We also feature Richard Bandler, a unique man who has transformed the way many people think and has inspired so many. And we profile Andy Murray... and that’s just the start of a whole host of fascinating articles! Make the best of this issue and this wonderful summer! b

– Paulo Coelho

Bernardo Moya, Editor

Follow me: @Bernardo_Moya

We want your stories The Best You is all about inspiring people. If you have a tale to tell that you think will help someone become the best they can be, please tell us. | 5


David Saunderson

is a highly-skilled and experienced communications professional with qualifications in marketing, public relations, graphic design and journalism. He recently attended the cocktail championships in Australia.


Kristen White

is an award winning media coach who helps entrepreneurs and businesses become more powerful messengers with content creation and on-camera coaching. Her company, Creative Catapult Video, is the premier media production company for the wellness and personal development marketplace.

Marisa Peer

is a best-selling author and was named Best British Therapist by Men’s Health. She has spent 25 years working with an extensive client list including royalty, rock stars, actors and athletes, developing her own style that is frequently referred to as life-changing.


Michael Neill

is a success coach and best-selling author. He has spent the past 23 years as a coach, adviser and friend to celebrities, CEOs, royalty, and people who want to get more out of themselves and their lives. He is the also the founder of Supercoach Academy



Mike Clayton

has been a successful project manager and management consultant, before changing career and becoming a successful coach and trainer, founding two businesses. Now in his third career as a speaker and author, Mike has got more done than most, yet said NO to more things than he has said yes to. @MikeClayton01

Sue Plumtree

is a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (FCIPD) and holds a coaching qualification. She is also an established author. Her mission is to stand by you and be your champion through thick and thin.


Rahul Gulati

is a technology enthusiast and has been working with start-ups in the Mobile Internet sector for over three years. He is hooked on smartphone apps and tweets frequently. You can read his blog here:


Zoë Henry is the Deputy Editor of The Best You and although she is new to the world of NLP, she is utterly convinced. You can see her work right here every month where she turns stories about the crème de la crème into a glossy, monthly magazine. @absolutelyzoe


The Best You is published by The Best You Corporation Ltd, 5 Percy Street, W1T 1DG. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect The Best You Corporation Ltd, policy. The Best You Corporation Ltd, accepts no responsibility for views expressed by its contributors. advertisements and reader offers are not endorsed by The Best You or The Best You Corporation Ltd,. | 7

TheName of Success


is the world’s first African-American woman billionaire, yet she had none of life’s advantages. In many ways she is the true American ”everywoman” and an embodiment of the American Dream. So what Is the story behind Oprah?


ne way to think about Oprah Winfrey is to think of her life as a series of extremes. Born to Vernita Lee in 1954 in Kosciusko, Mississippi, she was an illegitimate child whose teenage mother had a string of relationships that never stabilised. Her father, she was told, was Vernon Winfrey, a soldier at the time of her birth, and afterwards a coalminer, barber and councilman in Nashville, Tennessee. In order to get work as a maid in Milwaukee, Vernita left little Oprah to live with her own mother on a farm in Mississippi. Life for Oprah with her grandparents was far from idyllic. The strict narrow world was deeply conservative, and Oprah’s family was poor. She recalls her grandmother making a dress for her out of a potato sack, to the amusement of local children. All her clothing was homemade, with the exception of her shoes. These she only wore on a Sunday to go to church, the rest of the time she went barefoot. Her grandmother was strictly religious and encouraged her granddaughter to read the bible, while her grandfather was prone to bouts of moody hostility. She was beaten with

main picture Lady in red... Oprah certainly has style

below Oprah has grown to be comfortable in front of the camera

a stick if she did something wrong. Religion was to become a huge influence on her early life. Famously, with no one to play with and with the strong religious fervour on the farm, Oprah would sometimes take to reading passages from the bible to the pigs. Church was one of her few outlets to express herself, and she gave the first recitation at the age of three and a half. Within a few years she had memorised the entire series of seven sermons from ”Creation” to ”Judgement” by preacher James Weldon Johnson, earning herself the nicknames ”The Preacher” and ”Miss Jesus”, which was something of a mixed blessing among her classmates who were not always pleased to be preached at. These times were the seedbed for her beliefs. Though it was a strange life in comparison to many children, it gave her strength of character and moral compass that was lacking in her mother’s life. Oprah went to live with her mother in Milwaukee when she was six. In huge contrast to life in Kosciusko, life with her mother was chaotic and unstructured. The apartment her mother lived in was so full that little Oprah was forced to sleep in the foyer. She had a half-sister, Patricia and a half-brother Jeffrey, with whom

she didn’t get on. She was not praised for her intelligence, though her mother often praised Patricia for her beauty. This environment was not one in which Oprah would flourish, but when she was eight years old, her mother was struggling to make ends meet and sent her to live with her father and stepmother in Tennessee. It was a massive change. Vernon Winfrey was a hardworking industrious man, a strict disciplinarian and deeply religious. He owned a grocery store, and it was here Oprah got her first paid work. Her stepmother, with no children of her own, saw to it that the environment was a great place to learn, and she expected Oprah to read a set number of books a week, to expand her vocabulary and apply herself to maths. At school, Oprah flourished, especially under the tutelage of one of her teachers, Mrs Duncan. She herself decided she wanted to be a teacher and also considered being a missionary, going so far as to collect money for the poor of Costa Rica. Her instinct to alleviate the suffering of others seems to have started very early. At this time, believing that her life was about to change and she would soon be married, Vernita sent for her again, | 9

Turn your wounds into wisdom.

though Vernon was unhappy at letting her go. This was to be the start of a dark time in Oprah’s life. At the age of nine, she was raped by her cousin and then ”continually and persistently” raped by relatives and boyfriends of her mother over the next five years. It was a secret that she kept to herself, blaming herself for in some way being a ”naughty girl”, even though she was sure that her mother knew about these violations but did nothing to protect her. Unsurprisingly, Oprah became unmanageable in her mother’s eyes, so she tried

to have her put in a ”home for wayward girls”, but when she arrived, there was no bed available for her. By now, at the age of 14, she was pregnant and damaged and finally went back to her father’s house. she had concealed the pregnancy from everyone, and only in her seventh month did she let her father know. ”Proud and honourable”, Vernon looked after her and decided that she should be allowed to keep the baby. However, two weeks after the premature boy was born, he died, and Vernon once again supported her and began to

Oprah Winfrey at a glance  Born out of wedlock to a housemaid too poor to look after her  Lived for first six years with grandparents on a farm  Beaten when she did things wrong  So poor she wore dresses made of potato sacks

above Oprah with vocal superstar, Jennifer Hudson

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you focus on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.

 Religious upbringing  Lived with chaotic mother then strict father  Raped by her mother’s friends and family from the age of 9  Lost premature baby at the age of 14  Radio presenter  First black TV news anchorwoman in US  Hosted minor chat show  Starred in the Colour Purple and nominated for an Oscar  Moved to Chicago and hosted chat show Chicago AM  Starts own production company  USA’s first black woman billionaire

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top left Oprah has tried many things, and succeed at most

turn her around. His strictness came out partially in his insistence that a bright girl like her get straight A’s. He never rewarded her for this, stating that he simply expected her to be the best. This expectation of being an outstanding student was something Oprah responded to. At school she was chosen as ”vice president” of her class, president of the student council, drama club and National Forensics League. Now in her late teen, Oprah was selected to represent a local radio station, WVOL in the Miss Fire Prevention competition. A beauty contest, Oprah saw that every other entrant was white and just went along for the fun of it. When she was interviewed about what she would do with her winnings were she to win, she was light and airy and very natural. Her personality won through and she was proclaimed the winner. Things started to move quickly now for Oprah. She went on to become Miss Black Nashville and Miss Black Tennessee, even taking part in the Miss Black America contest in Hollywood. She was next offered work reading the news at WVOL after she’d read out an extract from

the news ”just for fun”. She was going to turn down the offer, thinking it would interfere with her studies, but her father encouraged her to take it. This was the start of Oprah’s long media career. By age 22 she was working as a reporter for WJZ-TV in Baltimore, Maryland, becoming a reporter and co-anchor for evening news – the first black person and the first woman to hold such a position. However, she wasn’t well suited to the job and her unworldliness led to her making embarrassing gaffes on the show, while she also tended to become personally involved with the stories rather than retaining detachment. Demoted from her job, another producer took her on to co-host a morning chat show, People Are Talking, with Richard Sher. The show was fairly popular, and after six years she relocated to Chicago to try her hand at the talk show format there. It proved to be a smart move. The programme she took over, AM Chicago, gained the highest talk-show ratings and was soon the most popular talk show on air. It was a massive success, and within two years was branded The Oprah Winfrey Show. It seems that with the show, all of Oprah’s previous experiences came into focus on a single product that was absolutely the right vehicle for her personality. Starting off as a ”tabloid-style” talk show, it dealt with issues of gossip and salacious revelation in much the same way as its rivals. But under Oprah’s guidance it started to take on a more moral tone that looked at issues and attempted to resolve them. To the show, Oprah brought her moral background, her easy style with others, her strong social conscience, her wit and humour and her genuine care for individuals. She incorporated spiritual matters and even a book club which led to recommended titles selling

in their millions. The show became a magazine programme spreading the message that by taking personal responsibility and making changes, you can have a better life. It is a message that America and the rest of the world lapped up. Within a few years of the move to Chicago, Oprah was a millionaire. In 1993 Forbes announced that she was worth $98 million – even more than Steven Spielberg. Her show was syndicated throughout the world and she went on to set up her own production company, the Harpo Entertainment Group, to make The Oprah Winfrey Show. By 2003, she was ranked among the 100 richest people in the world and had become the first African-American billionaire. By this time, Oprah had also started O Magazine, which further promoted her message of self-reliance. There have been some extraordinary moments on her show. Her own confession of her rape as a child when interviewing another rape survivor was a landmark moment in television and was a perfect example of her approach to the world. Personal, honest, sensitive and caring, her personality makes for compulsive viewing for many. She has inspired countless women with her “everywoman” persona to face and deal with their own difficulties. Of course, Oprah has not done this all alone. There are people around her to whom she is free to admit her debt of gratitude. She is famously generous with her staff, often buying them gifts, and inspiring them to loyalty. The King Brothers, who have distributed her show from the outset have played a major role in her success and she acknowledges it graciously. She also cites her grandmother Hattie Mae Lee, her father Vernon and her stepmother Zelma for their powerful support of her and

above Oprah attends many red carpet events, including the Emmys

I don’t think of myself as a poor deprived ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good.

strong guidance they gave her. Another strong influence on her life is Maya Angelou, whom Oprah has described as her ”mother”. Angelou, writer, friend and mentor has dispensed wisdom to her on a regular basis throughout her life, providing the emotional figure that her real mother was unable to provide. Then there is her partner, Graham Stedman, whose own message of personal development and responsibility ties in perfectly with her own. These influences and these people, together, have all helped Oprah become the extraordinary figure that she has become. Her life has been a series of contrasts – from poverty to extreme wealth, victim to survivor, being disliked by her school friends for her preaching to being loved by hundreds of millions for her message of hope. It is an extraordinary story, and not over yet, by far. b | 11


RICHARD BANDLER is an international figure in the Personal Development world. Bernardo Moya finds out how he came to challenge so many of the beliefs of psychotherapy and help so many to be great at what they do. main picture Richard Bandler is the Co-Creator of NLP, and responsible for its catchy name

below Richard doesn’t believe in traditional therapy

McKenna, has consistently demonstrated on TV how to make changes in others using the techniques Richard developed. These days, Richard is the epitome of confidence” with lists countless achievements. He has been involved in coaching top athletes, businessmen and even worked with the military. He has numerous bestselling books under his belt, CDs, DVDs and much more. One could call him a model of success. But things were not always so for Richard. Born in Teaneck, New Jersey, Richard recalls that he lived on the Hackensack River for the first five years of his life. ”In that time in the United States they didn’t believe you could pollute things and where I lived was a demonstration of the fact that wasn’t true,”

Making Lives Great


onsidering Richard Bandler as he sits down for interview, I think of the many different images I have seen of him. From the cool young man in the mid 1970s who was developing an entirely new way of dealing with psychiatric problems, to the humorous and confident thirty-something who mystified counsellors by curing their

long-term clients in a matter of minutes, to the silver-haired besuited man now before me who spearheads the worldwide phenomenon that is NeuroLinguistic Programming, or NLP. There’s no doubt that NLP, described by its proponents as a powerful mind-tool for personal change, has lodged itself in the minds of the general population. And Richard’s former student, Paul

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Somewhere in junior high school I discovered I had a real knack for math. The more they threw at me, the more I could take. Once I understood that I was good at it, I always applied myself

he says of the world he grew up in. When he was young, his parents moved to California where life was characterised by moving from school to school because his parents couldn’t decide where they wanted to live. The tensions that grew between his parents led to their eventual separation. ”They didn’t do it in an instant, they did it slowly. It was a little tumultuous. My mother is a very good-humoured person and my father was pretty cranky. Finally they got sick of each other and rightfully so I would imagine. My mother is now 84 and still complains about it from time to time.” Perhaps understandably, with all the uprooting, his school years were not the most inspiring for him, though there were deeply inspirational teachers. ”In those days education wasn’t quite as uniform as it is now but I think like most people, I had a few teachers that were just outstanding and motivated me to learn. Typically they were the ones that were fun. ”We had a new Japanese teacher at the school and it

turned out he was an airplane engineer who had retired and decided to become a teacher. When he taught us math, he taught us the equations to design airplanes and we designed little jets. He taught us how to compute distance and time. Everything he did, he turned into something dramatic and fun. Instead of just reading some boring book, he would have us act it out. He always stuck in my mind as being a great teacher. I could barely tell you the names of most of my teachers in school but his name was Mr Lang, I’ve never forgotten it. He really taught me a lesson that when people are enjoying themselves, they’ll really put out and learn.” Richard began to find his strengths at school. ”Somewhere in junior high school I discovered I had a real knack for math. The more they threw at me, the more I could take. Once I understood that I was good at it, I always applied myself.” Richard also discovered his love of music. Mopping floors in a burger bar as a 10-yearold, he was inspired by the music coming from the jukebox as he worked. ”I didn’t have a

above Paul McKenna with his esteemed mentor

below Richard in action with an attendee at a recent seminar


keyboard, so I actually painted one on a two-by-four and went down to the music store and listened to the notes and went home and imagined them.” Richard learned to play a few instruments, although his schoolteachers insisted he had no musical ability. His later work in creating music, especially his neurosonics CDs, which combine sound waves to affect the brain in specific ways while also producing great music put the lie to that. When Richard went to college to study computer programming, his imagination and curiosity were given free reign. Staying in the house of a psychiatrist, he read books by psychotherapists such as Fritz Perls and began to realise that counsellors and psychotherapists actually had very little idea of how to make a change. In fact, their approach seemed bizarre to him. ”When I read the book by Fritz Perls, I thought it was one of the funniest things I had ever read. He had people identifying with dreams and going, ’I dreamed I went into a diner with my mother and she drank a strawberry milkshake and I drank a chocolate milkshake’ and he’d go, ’Ok, you are the chocolate milkshake.’ People would act these things out and I’m not sure what this was | 13

actually supposed to do but I just found it hysterical.” By now, Richard’s curiosity was fired up and he began to study more about what the few successful therapists did. These included Virginia Satir, whom he got to know well, and the hypnotist and doctor Milton Erickson. As a student with an interest in symbolic logic, linguistics and calculus, Richard began to realise that there was something in what successful therapists were doing that was in some way the same. With the help of his Transformational Grammar Professor, John Grinder, he began to replicate the successes which they were arriving at intuitively. This was the foundation of NLP, which was not only a means of helping people to change in a psychiatric context, but a way of understanding how people are good at what they do and helping others optimise their behaviour. Of his study of Milton Erickson’s hypnotherapy, Bandler says: ”By representing the way he used syntax, the way in which he used intonation and tempo that was different from other people and how he manipulated altered states with those things. I could predict what he was going to do. Just like you can predict that a bridge will last as opposed to fall down.” As for the name NLP, itself, Richard is charmingly funny about how he arrived at it. ”That was just because I got pulled over by a highway patrolman and I had a whole lot of books on the floor of my car.

right Richard Bandler believes in therapy with a sense of humour

There came a point when therapists would bring him their clients because they didn’t know how to change

below Watch Richard Bandler talk to Bernardo Moya in The Best You video interview

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He looked at me and said ’What do you do for a living?’ I took the beginning of three different books. One was a neurology book, one was John Grinder’s linguistic book and the other was a programming manual for a PDP1134A and I went, ’I’m a Neuro-Linguistic Programmer.’ When I looked back at him he was totally impressed. He went, ’God, that sounds really sophisticated.’ I got out of a ticket.” Richard found the title useful because it differentiated him from therapists, whose methods Richard found wanting. He is critical of ”therapies” that simply require people to sit and listen and make no contribution, or indeed of the ”archaeological dig” through a client’s past to try to gain insight into their current behaviour, which is the Freudian approach. Insight, after all, is not change. The years that followed

saw Richard’s curiosity in so many different areas lead him to be involved in working with sports people, artists, business leaders, US military and in countless other areas. Starting out as a young man with a very different view of the way the brain works to the therapists around him, he worked from a small office, all the while improving his techniques and learning from his clients. There came a point when therapists would bring him their clients because they didn’t know how to treat them, and he continued to improve his techniques and discover new things. When he began to train others NLP began to spread like wildfire, with superstars in the Personal Development world such as Anthony Robbins spreading the word of Self-Help using a distinctively NLP-like approach across the world. Then in the 1990s, Richard met with a bespectacled young

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Englishman who made a living from stage hypnosis. Paul McKenna and Richard Bandler formed a firm friendship and Richard mentored Paul. Paul took the message of NLP to new markets by popularising Richard’s ideas in TV shows, books, DVDs and CDs. NLP is now a global phenomenon that is far beyond the control of the man who invented the name. Richard is philosophical about its spread – and how he started out intending to be a computer programmer but became a leading figure in the personal development world. ”Sometimes things are kismet... You’re in the right place at the right time. John Grinder didn’t set out to be a linguist. It was just the only place left

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in the college that they had an opening and it turned out he was a great linguist. He’s a great syntactician. Gregory Bateson didn’t set out to found the field of heuristics or to study schizophrenics. He got into it because during World War II they asked him to study the communication on Nazi propaganda films. When he started listening to what they were doing that mesmerised people and got them to engage in behaviours, he started thinking ’I wonder if people make their kids crazy doing the same thing?’ Had I not met the psychiatrist, had I not met Virginia, had I not had the interest in math, had I not had a logic professor in college... it all has to fall in the right order and you have to be open to it.”

Richard Bandler At A Glance  Studied computing at Santa Monica University  Met influential figures Buckminster Fuller, Gregory Bateson, Virginia Satyr and John Grinder  Become fascinated by psychology and how to help others  Created the name Neuro-Linguistic Programming  Uses humour rather than sympathy to help clients overcome problems  Develops the fast phobia cure  Influences many thinkers and motivational speakers including Tony Robbins  Mentors TV hypnotist Paul McKenna  Develops NLP further so it becomes a global phenomenon used in many walks of life

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As for the future and what his legacy will be, Richard answers with humour and modesty. ”I want to make sure that a lot of good training goes down so that what I’ve done doesn’t get lost. I’ve written many books over the years and made loads of tapes. I’m sure people will look back at this 100 years from now and see it the same way I look at what Freud did. They’ll go, ’God, he didn’t know anything’ – and that will be a good thing! But in the meantime, there’s going to be a lot of businesses, schools and people that do better than they would’ve and I think that’s what my legacy is. And I don’t think I could stop it if I wanted to.” b

above Richard Bandler with his wife, Glenda


Best of

British? Love him or hate him, there is no doubt that Andy Murray has come a long way. But what’s changed? Elite Performance Coach Stephen Simpson gives us some idea, followed up by more expert opinions.


n 7 July 2013 Andy Murray won the Wimbledon Championships, one of tennis’ four Grand Slams. He was the first British man to win this event for 77 years. Even so, this result was not so surprising. After all, he was the number two seed. The surprise was what a difference a year can make. A year ago he had not won a single Grand Slam, despite being consistently ranked as one of the world’s top four players.

Murray was openly regarded as a ‘choker’, a player who went to pieces in the most important matches. You did not need to be a mind coach to know that Murray’s problems were largely in his head. But in the last year he has won a gold medal in the 2012 Olympics, won his first Grand Slam (US Open), and now Wimbledon. So what has changed? Murray found a new coach, Ivan Lendl, an enigmatic, tough former tennis player who won eight grand slams. Interestingly, he too was

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main picture Andy Murray standing next to the man he beat in Wimbledon this year

right Murray raising the coveted trophy

opposite Andy Murray in action

regarded as a ‘choker’. Murray is a strategist, picks his team carefully, and has stayed loyal to his four-man team of fitness conditioners, physiotherapist, and travelling adviser. He has not shown the same commitment to his succession of different coaches, at least not until now. Lendl was the right man at the right time, he was somebody who Murray could respect. “I think he’s always been very honest with me. He’s always told me exactly what he thought. And in tennis it’s not always easy to do that in a player-coach relationship. The player is the one in charge, and I think sometimes coaches are not comfortable doing that,” says Murray of his relationship with Lendl. “The main thing I’ve learnt from him is to be stable on court and not so emotional. He makes sure that I never get too up, that I never get too down.” Simple as this may be, these are not easy skills to acquire. Indeed they can only be learnt the hard way. Just as world 100 metres champion Usain Bolt had to learn the hard way too. “You have to learn how to lose before you can learn how to win.”



Nick Walden Head Coach at David Lloyd Raynes Park

Keme Nzerem Sports Correspondent for Channel 4 News Andy Murray is by no means the best. He just prevailed in the high takes pressure cooker that is Wimbledon. There’s a new breed of tennis maestro – both technically adroit and a supreme athlete. The last two tennis greats – Nadal and Federer – perched on opposite ends of that spectrum. Murray, and his old adversary Novak Djokovic, are slap bang in the middle. The stats tell us Djokovic is without doubt the better player. What gave Murray the edge in SW19 this year is he didn’t choke. He had the eye of the tiger. Yes a new coach and the gruelling fitness regime came into it too, but ultimately this time round he just wanted it more.

Dan Abrahams Sports Psychologist

What makes Andy Murray the best? Well, he is still number two, so not quite the best yet, but what makes him good is two things – hard work and the quality of the work. It’s the quality of the work that differentiates him from other players. He has dedication and has surrounded himself with a great team. He has sports science support, people to help him with strength and conditioning, physiotherapists. The introduction of Ivan Lendl as his coach has made a real difference and, of course, the introduction of a sports psychologist. The addition of Alexis Castorri to the team has made a huge difference because she doesn’t only help him with his game, but with life off the court. When I think of Andy Murray back in the day, he really has matured. When things went well, he would behave well, but when things went badly, he would implode. His frustration with himself would cause his game to deteriorate. I would say that the addition of both Lendl and Castorri has definitely put Murray in the right mindset.

Andy Murray is an exceptionally gifted tennis player – that was evident when we first saw him as a skinny teenager. He had the raw talent, an essential quality all great players have. It needed developing and refining, but it was there. You may remember when he used to ‘cramp’ after two sets on a grass court. Since those early days he has worked exceptionally hard to build himself in to a great athlete. He steps on court knowing his is at least as fit as his opponent, if not fitter. Going to a Spanish Academy was a crucial part of his development in his early days. The tenacity and mental toughness needed to be successful on clay have stood him in good stead on all surfaces. His game is based on being a great returner and on retrieving every ball. What he has added recently is more aggression in his playing style. His shots are heavier now. Maybe not the fastest serve or the biggest forehand in the men’s game, but not so far from it. Wining the US Open and an Olympic Gold Medal gave him the belief that he can win on the big stage and now he has won on the biggest stage of all – Wimbledon.

Raven Klaasen Professional Tennis Player

What a difference a year makes! He had some tough losses in his first few major finals, but he has learnt from those and is much better at handling tough moments and the massive expectation on his shoulders. He has also surrounded himself with some great people to help him reach his goals. Your support structure as a pro athlete is crucial to maximize your performance and he has one of the best. Bringing on Ivan Lendl brought a level of experience and calmness that has really made a difference. As far as his game is concerned, he has made a few small adjustments, which have made a big difference when it counts. He has turned his serve into a weapon. Being fit has become a must at the top in tennis. And he has taken movement and court coverage to a level that few guys can compete with. But for players at his level, the biggest question is always belief. Once he won the Olympic Gold Medal at Wimbledon you could see a change in his demeanour and he has been playing unbelievable tennis since. Proving to himself he could do it on the big stage paved the way for him to his two wins at US Open and Wimbledon. Murray is currently ranked number two in the world in men’s tennis, but if he keeps improving and playing at the level he is, he will definitely have a realistic chance at reaching the coveted number one spot. | 17

Andy Murray at a glaNce Vital Statistics

Earnings • • • •

Born: 15 May 1987 Place of Birth: Glasgow,Scotland School: Dunblane Primary School Nationality: British and Scottish Height: 1.90 metres Weight: 64 kg

Pro Titles Won: • • • • •

Prize money to date: $29,796,428 Adidas 5 year deal: $30 million Sponsorship also from: Shaitzy Chen, Royal Bank of Scotland, Highland Spring and Swiss watch maker Rado Previous sponsor: Fred Perry


Two Grand Slam titles Nine Masters 1000 Series titles (placing him 6th on the all-time list) Olympic Gold and Silver medallist Two doubles titles with his brother Jamie Murray One exhibition title

• • • • •

Murray has won 28 titles in total

Founding member Malaria No More UK Rally for Relief matches Rally Against Cancer match Donated money prize pot of £80,000 to The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity

ACHIEVEMENTS Current Ranking: • World Number 2 • British Number 1 Current Status: • Reigning US Open champion • Wimbledon champion • Olympic Men’s Singles gold medallist Grand Slam Record: • • • • •

2013 Wimbledon Champion, 2012 US Open Champion Runner-up Wimbledon 2012 Runner-up 2010, 2011 and 2013 Australian Opens Runner-up at the 2008 US Open


Awards • • • • •

BBC Young Sports Personality of the Year 2004 Laureus “World Breakthrough of the Year” Award, 2013 US Open Series Champion 2010 Third place in BBC Sports Personality of the Year Awarded Merton Council’s highest honour as freeman of the borough

• • • •

Best ATP World Tour Match of theYear, 2010, 2011 and 2012 Youngest player to play in the Davis Cup Holder of Most Titles in ATP World Tour season UK Prime Minister David Cameron has stated that Murray deserves a knighthood

the best you

inner you



Connect with the wonderful, special and powerful inside... Learn new ways to get your mind and body in balance, bring out the rich core of your being... and discover the secrets that will enable you to take charge of your Inner Life and become The Best You.

Life Without Limits


Notes from an NLP newbie Our Deputy Editor ZoÍ Henry gives some notes on what it’s like to be new to NLP

All a-hoard Associate Editor Matt Wingett looks at the nature of hoarding, and how to stop it

inner you

Zoë Henry

Notes from an NLP newbie

NLP helps people with all manner of things, from dealing with depression to getting over phobias. Zoë Henry, deputy editor of The Best You, attends her first seminar and makes some notes.

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erhaps I should start by telling you that when I applied for the position of deputy editor of The Best You, I had never heard of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP. Richard Bandler was a total stranger to me, and I had heard of Paul McKenna, but thought he was more of a hypnotist entertainer, like Derren Brown, than the self-help guru that he actually is. I read about how people have overcome phobias in an hour, had found the willpower to lose weight, and used the power of positive thought to overcome infertility or succeed in business. However, I’m from a

sceptical generation. After a couple of months I had learnt so much – from my colleagues, those who write for the magazine, and my own research. The idea of NLP was becoming clearer and more plausible, but I was yet to see actual proof. Luckily the seminars were coming up – the perfect opportunity to see something amazing. It’s Friday evening when I arrive at the conference centre, coming straight from work, the first seminar is already in full swing. I slink into the room and find an empty chair in the back and settle in for the night. Richard Bandler is on-stage with a woman, and

Zoë Henry inner you

right Mia, the 12-foot python, helping people conquer their fears

they are busy confronting something that makes her feel uncomfortable. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what is going on. She has her eyes closed and he is asking her which direction her fear is going in. Until now I wasn’t aware that fear travelled in any particular direction. This could be interesting. Shortly after I sit down, he releases her from the stage and she makes her way back to her seat. Whether she is cured or not, I do not know. I wait for the next person to be called up, but it seems as though the interactive part of the evening is over. Now, it’s story time. Richard regales the full room with tales from his past, many of which sound like they’ve been cribbed from films starring Bruce Willis. Are the stories true? I have no idea, but they sure are fascinating. It’s not all about good stories though. In a few days the real fun starts. On “Phobia Day” of the seminar series I arrive brighteyed and bushy tailed, camera in hand, ready to snap some pictures of people conquering their fears. Once again Richard

These people claim to be phobic, yet they are so calm. Does NLP really work that quickly?

below Would you be comfortable holding this in your hand?

Bandler is on the stage, practically chomping at the bit with the anticipation of freaking people out. After a brief introduction of what the day will entail, Richard gives the command to bring in the showstopper – a 12-foot Burmese python named Mia. As six burly men carry her in, the ophidiophobics in the crowd leap up and literally jump over their fellow audience members in a mad dash for the exits. The NLP assistants make their way to the shaken attendees and do their best to dry their tears and calm them down. When order is restored and Mia has been taken backstage, Richard invites a few people up to conquer

their fear of spiders. They sit on the stage and he puts them into a trance. He makes them believe that they are not afraid of spiders, and convinces each of them to hold a fat, hairy tarantula in their hands. Now I’m no arachnophobic, but I don’t cherish the idea of caressing a furry spider the size of my hand either. These people claim to be phobic, yet they are so calm. Does NLP really work that quickly? The creepy-crawlies are all good fun, but people with all sorts of phobias are here today. They are split up into groups according to their fears – heights, needles, public speaking etc. Each group gets an NLP assistant to help them work through their phobias and they go off to work on overcoming their fears. By the end of the day people are going up in cranes to confront their fears of heights, getting up on stage and speaking to the crowd to confront their fear of public speaking. One girl even busts out a tune. As far as I can see, everyone who had come to conquer his or her phobias had done just that. So, what are my views on NLP now? I think I’m a convert.b | 21

inner you

joel brown

All a-hoard ... I Many of us can be sentimental about objects that mean nothing to anyone else. On one level it’s quite natural, but for some throwing out the rubbish can be not only difficult, but impossible. Matt Wingett investigates Compulsive Hoarding.

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n 1947 in Harlem, New York, two elderly brothers, Homer and Langley Collyer, caused a media sensation when they paid the ultimate price for the obsession they shared. The brothers had literally crammed their house to the brim with books, musical instruments, newspapers, tools, guns and much more. They were so protective of their hoard they had even set up booby-traps to deter intruders. Homer was blind and paralysed by rheumatism, so Langley would crawl through tunnels in the hoard-filled house to bring him food. When Langley tripped one

off his own booby traps, he was crushed and killed under a weight of books and other items. Homer died some days later, the post mortem revealing he was malnourished and had suffered cardiac arrest. Whilst this is the extreme end of the scale, hoarding is surprisingly common in Western society with estimates putting prevalence at two to five per cent of the population. 70 per cent of Compulsive Hoarders have onset of their behaviour before the age of 21, with the vast majority developing it in adolescence. Full-blown hoarding often develops fully after age 40, with some researchers suggesting

Joel Brown

did you know ?

inner you

What You Can Do Now 1. Be honest with yourself. Look around you. Is your environment becoming unmanageable? Have you stopped inviting friends to your home because there is so much stuff in it? Do you get upset at the thought of “losing” any of it? Be really honest.

Andy Warhol was a Hoarder - the only rooms in his four-storey house with paths through them were the kitchen and the bathroom, the rest were crammed with items. Warhol left behind 610 “time capsules” - boxes filled with restaurant receipts, bills, and in one case, a mummified human foot from Ancient Egypt. To date, more than 20 years after his only 19 have been fully archived.

2. Start slowly to get rid of items already in your home. When was the last time you used something? What does it do for you? Are you likely to use it again? Really consider this. If the balance is that you are very unlikely to use it, or you haven’t used it for a year - then it may well be something to get rid of. 3. Use the “Handle Once” rule. When a letter comes through your door or a circular, deal with it there and then. Do not put it to one side, but assess it and decide whether you can use it or not. If not, put it in the bin.

the reduced presence of other family members makes hoarding easier. Problems with hoarding really arise when it becomes in some way unmanageable. A bibliomaniac may be considered eccentric for his collection of books. A hoarder of animals unable to feed them may face prosecution. And people unable to part with food, rubbish and even their own faeces take the problem to another level. For the Collyers, being killed by the urge to keep certainly falls into the “unmanageable” category. The good news is there is help at hand. The UK’s NHS treats Compulsive Hoarding with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. There are support groups and advisers who can help sufferers beat their obsessions, or at least manage them. New research is going on into

the disorder all the time, with studies by US-based Monica Eckfield and Randy Frost developing new ways to understand and treat the condition. The number one thing is to recognise the problem. Many hoarders see nothing wrong with the things they keep in the house. But remember, if it’s making life difficult, the time will come for you to do more than a “little bit of decluttering!”

above Hoarding can severely affect your way of life

Be Ever-Vigilant. Compulsive hoarding is a continual process. Be aware of when you start to slip and continue on your path, getting help from specialists where you need to. Find Good Emotions. Remember, not all decluttering needs to have bad emotions attached to it, there can be positives. Selling your unneeded items may bring in cash, and seeing your room re-emerge from under piles of clutter can be a reward in itself.

For help and advice: • Compulsive Hoarding: • Help for Hoarders: http://www.helpforhoarders. • International OCD Foundation: hoarding/

4. Be Ready for Big Emotions. When you start decluttering or tidying, you may well get strong negative emotions. This is part of the condition, so be prepared to stick to your plans. A support group or therapist will help you to overcome these emotions.

opposite If your house looks a little like this, help is at hand

Don’t Do This Alone. Support from specialists and friends will help you overcome your habits. Spending time with others and socialising may help to reduce your need to hoard. So will help from a mental heath practitioner and CBT. | 23

Join the revolution Live a Life Without Limits THE BEST


Life Without Limits


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Laughter, humour, travel, love - these add the sparkle that make life worth living. Climb a mountain, give to others, start a family, embrace life... What are the things you wish you had done, but haven’t yet? Life is no rehearsal - find ways to enjoy it, whenever you can!

Life Without Limits


Bright lights, bIg city This month’s Bucket List column is all about cities to see before you die

Shaken or stirred? David Saunderson interviews a champion barman about what makes the best


Bucket List

Bright lights

big city


he world is packed with amazing places to visit, from the Wonders of the World, which we featured in the June issue, to unheard of places that are far

from the madding crowd. When you think of a great vacation, the first thing that springs to mind may be white, sandy beaches with turquoise waters, but that doesn’t mean we should close ourselves off to other

It’s up to you, New York

Yes, we know it’s an obvious one, which is why we’ve put it in the prime position of numero uno. There’s a reason that so many songs have been sung about this city, and why so many movies and TV shows have been set there. It’s a bustling metropolis that literally vibrates with excitement and activity. attractions: All the museums, 5 th Avenue and Central Park.

26 |

kinds of getaways. City vacations are increasingly popular, so we’ve put together a list of the top eight cities you need to see before you die. Mixing the obvious with the exotic, we hope you find one you like.

Part of enjoying life is living for the moment, so don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed before you make a list of what you should’ve done. Life is happening now, so start ticking things off that bucket list. Every month we feature our top items.

London Calling!

Home to Harry Potter, the rise of punk and the Queen, London is a great place to visit, apart from the weather. But nobody comes to England for the weather. From red telephone boxes and crazy people on the bus, London is everything that movies set there promise it to be. attractions: All museums (which are free), Big Ben and the South Bank.

Bucket List


Hallelujah Amsterdam

I love Paris every moment

A city filled with old European charm, from the architecture to the canal. The best time to visit this city is in the summer when you can rent a bicycle and join the millions of others riding across the city. And the type of holiday you have is up to you, from highbrow to X-rated. attractions: Van Gogh Museum, the canals and the Anne Frank’s house.

Everywhere is more pleasant with a little sun, but gay Paree shimmers no matter the season. Gorgeous in the sun or snow, the cobbled streets and patisseries make for a fabulous city vacation. And they eat French food there like it’s regular food! attractions: The Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame and the Moulin Rouge.

Welcome to Cape Town

Sydney, I’ll come running

One night in Bangkok

Only a dream in Rio

You’ll need to visit this one in the summer because there’s not much to do that isn’t outdoors. It boasts some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, as well as the iconic Table Mountain. There are also stunning places to visit just outside of the city, from the Cape winelands to small fishing villages. attractions: Camps Bay beach and Table Mountain.

The perfect combination between an Eastern dream and a vibrant city, Bangkok is a fantastic opportunity to nourish the body and soul. Whether you are keen to indulge in a spot of shopping or get in touch with your inner Buddhist, this city has something for you. attractions: Siam Square for shopping, Dusit gardens and Thon Buri temple.

Listed as having the best quality of life for its residents, Sydney has become quite a popular tourist magnet in the last while. Great scenery, friendly people and surprisingly good food, it is the cornerstone of new world tourism. attractions: Sydney Opera House, Museum of Contemporary Art and Sydney Tower Eye observatory.

Rio de Janeiro’s Carnaval parties have turned the city into a legendary party location complete with mojitos, face paint and feather boas. But if carnivals isn’t your thing, it’s still a pretty impressive city to visit, both in terms of natural beauty and architecturally. attractions: Christ the Redeemer, Corcovado Mountain and, of course, Carnaval. | 27

ENJOY LIFE David Saunderson

Top cocktail bartender Gorge Camorra believes if you’re going to do anything in life, give 100 per cent and be the best you can be! David Saunderson chats to him about how he implements these beliefs.

Shaken or stirred


orge Camorra laughs when he is asked how he

refers to himself. “I call myself a spiritual advisor as I love to advise you on what spirits you should drink. Seriously, I’m just a bartender.” Just bartender he may be, but the Spanish-born

Australian has just returned from placing third in the world’s toughest cocktail mixing contest. Gorge Camorra came to cocktail pouring late in life. Originally an air-condition mechanic, the people person felt climbing into dusty ceiling cavities wasn’t for him. Instead Gorge decided on an even darker world of nightclubs, when he opened his own bar in Geelong near Melbourne and

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top left Cocktails can be both impressive and fun

middle right Gorge came into drinks mixing late in life

bottom right A perfect companion on a summer’s day

started mixing drinks. “I always had a curiosity about alcohol and I walked into a cocktail bar in Melbourne and watched the cocktail bartenders showing their craft and I thought ‘Wow - I want to do that!’ which at 35 years old was a huge change from air conditioning.” He set about becoming the best bartender he could be. “I was mostly self taught through trial and error, by reading cocktail books and watching YouTube.” Six years later, he has placed third out of 15 in the Gin Connoisseur Program, an international competition of bartenders in Cognac, France. Regarded as one of the toughest bartending contests in the world, Gorge joined the best of the best in a range of tests and challenges. “Competing in the GCP was a personal goal of mine and I was on a mission to get to Cognac and represent Australia. I began preparations for the competition six months before I even qualified in the

David Saunderson preliminary final so I was very happy that all the time and effort had paid off. “It was the biggest highlight of my bartending career and competing against incredible bartenders from all over the world and learning as much as I could from them was something that I had only dreamed of.” It was not the first time that Gorge Camorra had competed internationally for Australia. He competed in the World Open Kyokushin Karate Championships in Tokyo in 2008 where he placed 14th – a stunning feat for a competitor who only started training in martial arts a few years earlier. “Like everything in life, I believe that if you commit to something you need to give it 100 percent and I guess I was well-trained by fantastic and experienced instructors. “I believe that karate has taught me to have confidence in your abilities and prepare well for any challenges that you take on whether it be full contact knockdown fighting tournament or even a cocktail competition. “Trust me though, it is a lot easier on the body training to compete in a cocktail competition!” Despite coming third in an international cocktail competition, Gorge is quite humble about his cocktailmixing abilities, especially when it is suggested he is one of the best. “I would not say I am one of the best as there many bartenders in Australia alone that are more knowledgeable than me, that I look up to and respect. I believe that we can be the best on a certain night in a competition, but I really do have so much more to learn. “I just want to keep competing and most importantly continue to try to perfect my craft and have as

much fun as I can along the way. “Not until I can create a drink that is good enough to be considered a contemporary classic like a Cosmopolitan or Japanese Slipper and be featured on lists all over the world, will I say that my drinks are great.” Gorge has always been a big believer in giving back to the community. That’s why he now regularly holds accredited courses at his Cloud 9 Bar & Lounge in Geelong West, where he teaches his students the art of mixing a drink and hospitality. What advice does he give his student to be a great bartender? “Have fun and be confident but also be humble. There seems to be a huge number of bartenders out there that think they are rock stars – get over yourselves – we mix drinks, we don’t rescue people or cure cancer! “The most important thing you need to have to be a great bartender is the desire to make sure that the customer has a great time and that they leave your venue feeling better than when they arrived,” Gorge says. “Anybody can create a nice tasting drink but being humble and treating customers like they are number one should be a bartenders main goal.” b


Gorge’s Top Cocktail Favourite

J’adore Lily FleurCocktail 60 ml G’Vine Floraison Gin, 30 ml Cloudy Apple Juice 15 ml Fresh Lemon Juice 25 ml Raspberry/Cranberry Reduction Built in Highball Glass with Apple Fan Garnish

What a character? Looking for a cocktail evening with a difference? The Savoy in London introduces Character Cocktails, bringing a touch of theatre to the already dramatic surroundings of the hotel’s Beaufort Bar. Four cocktail creations pay tribute to four of the most famous personalities to have resided at The Savoy: Ernest Hemingway, Coco Chanel, Charlie Chaplin and Frank Sinatra. Each cocktail has been created by the bar’s award-winning team of mixologists. The cocktails are served in era-specific vintage glassware and garnished tableside, in front of the guests, to reflect the inspiration behind the drink.

right Red wine and caviar inspired Coco Chanel below This cocktail of substance was inspired by comedy genius, Charlie Chaplin below left Coco Chanel and Ernest Hemingway side by side | 29

Steve Ridgway CBE

31st Oct

For more details contact us on +44t(0)845 230 2033

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Great reading, viewing and listening to empower, entertain, enrich, delight and enhance. The Best You rounds up classics and new books and media products that will make such a positive difference in your life.

Life Without Limits


A blessed companion is a book – a book that, fitly chosen, is a lifelong friend... a book that, at a touch, pours its heart into our own” – Jeremy Collier




Richard Bandler, co-creator of NLP and the man who inspired Paul McKenna to greatness, collaborates with Alessio Roberti and Owen Fitzpatrick to reveal how to unleash your true potential and transform your life. Richard Bandler – the world-renowned co-creator of NLP who has helped millions around the world change their lives for the better – has teamed up with Italian NLP Master Trainer Alessio and co-founder of the Irish Institute of NLP Owen, to craft a simple yet engaging story of one man’s personal change and discovery, to help readers understand the remarkable principles of NLP. Inspiring and easy-to-read, this fable recreates the experience of being at a workshop with Bandler. Rather than explaining the theories, An Introduction to NLP illustrates the principles and simple techniques that Bandler has developed over the past 35 years in action. This inspirational book gives you the tools to change your life, overcoming the things that are holding you back: your phobias, depression, habits, psychosomatic illnesses or learning disorders. Through the simple techniques of NLP, you too can become a strong, happy, successful person and achieve your goals.

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The must have self-help book!” . – Paul McKenna | 33



SELF ESTEEM BIBLE By Gael Lindenfield

Learn the secrets of self-esteem with 365 tips from the UK’s number one confidence expert Gael Lindenfield. Dip into this comprehensive self-help handbook as and when you need it or use it as a personal development plan. Includes advice on social life, work issues, relationships and much more. Poor self-esteem can sabotage relationships and careers, cause self-destructive behaviour and hold us back from achieving our true potential. In this comprehensive guide, self-esteem expert Gael Lindenfield gives you all the advice you need for building confidence in yourself and your abilities. Designed to be dipped into as and when you need a confidence-boost, or followed as a personal development programme, this is a highly practical self-help handbook that will give you concrete results. Includes sections on work, social life, relationships, health and personal development, so you will regain self-esteem by making new friends, getting over past hurts, boosting assertiveness, learning how to deal with difficult people and situations, think positively and get motivated to achieve your dreams. With tips for both the short- and long-term, this book provides ways to boost your self-esteem immediately – and then reveals how to stay self-confident for life!

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The best book on the subject. An absolute must for anyone who needs more self-confidence.” – Suzie Hayman | 35



Smart to Wise By Mike Clayton

Being smart, savvy and knowledgeable during the early stages of your career is one thing. Being wise, an accomplished expert and someone who is widely regarded as having created something of substance and value is the next level. This book shows you how to take the knowledge that you have and turn it into the wisdom that leads people to regard you as a trusted colleague, partner or advisor. Smart to Wise sets out the 7 pillars that you must master, if you want to move from being seen as smart to being truly authoritative and trusted, and which will propel you on to the next level in your career and in the direction you want it to go. In mastering these 7 pillars, people at work, in your communituy and amongst your contacts will regard you as someone whose judgement and integrity they can trust absolutely, and to who they will look for advice, guidance and involvement in key projects and initiatives.

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Clever, fascinating, useful, lifeenhancing. It’s not often you can use those words together - but it’s a perfect summary of this book. – David Thompson | 37



Why Am I Sick? BY Richard Flook

Have you ever asked, ‘Why am I sick?’ and found that your doctor can’t give you a satisfying answer? Western medicine can rarely answer this question - just look at any medical dictionary, and for 99 per cent of diseases listed, the cause is not known. The question is, how can you cure a disease - permanently - if you don’t know what caused it in the first place?

In Why Am I Sick? Richard Flook explains how disease really works, revealing how the body has not, in fact, made a mistake, but that there are different types of stressful experiences that can cause specific diseases to occur. He tackles the challenging questions of why cancers develop, how chronic diseases are caused, how allergies start, why our beliefs about bacteria and viruses are flawed, and how our present way of treating disease is in desperate need of updating. This ground-breaking book will challenge your present belief system about disease, and at the same time empower you by finally answering the question: ‘Why am I sick?’, to put you back in control of your health!

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Full of fascinating case studies and groundbreaking scientific research – Hay House Publishers | 39

Wonders of Life By Professor Brian Cox & Andrew Cohen In this beautiful and definitive new book, Professor Brian Cox takes us on an incredible journey to discover how a few fundamental laws gave birth to the most complex, diverse and unique force in the Universe – life itself. There are thought to be as many as 100 million different species on Earth – each and every one governed by the same laws. Everything in the Universe, from the smallest microbe to the largest cluster of galaxies, is constructed from the same fundamental building blocks and is subject to the same laws of nature. What is true for a bacterium is true for a blue whale. This is the story of the amazing diversity and adaptability of life told through the fundamental laws that govern it. Through his voyage of discovery, Brian will explain how the astonishing inventiveness of nature came about and uncover the milestones in the epic journey from the origin of life to our own lives. From the vast networks of subterranean freshwater caverns of the Yucatan peninsula to the unique and precious island of Madagascar, Brian will seek out the places where the biggest questions about life may be answered: what is life? Why do we need water and why does life end?

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He bridges the gap between our childish sense of wonder and a rather more professional grasp of the scale of things.” – Independent | 41



subscription for just £47.64 for a 12-month subscription, you could hold this magazine in your hands.

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the best you




What do you want to be remembered for? What are your relationships like with those around you? How does life treat you - and how do you treat your life? There is so much good in you. Enrich your life with the passion you feel and the connections you make.

Life Without Limits


It could be you The Lottery isn’t only about making millionaires. We look at some of the side projects

Generate gravitas Having trouble making people sit up and take notice? Mike Clayton has some advice


It could be you


It has created more than 3,000 millionaires. 3,270 children of Lottery winners will grow up to become millionaires. It’s great news, but who else wins in the UK’s National Lottery? The Best You investigates.

ince it started in 1994, the National Lottery has raised over £28 billion for good causes in the UK, providing a funding stream that has supported some of the great projects of the last 20 years.

Sport £2.2 billion of Lottery money was used to fund the UK 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games, not only contributing toward building the Olympic Park, but targeting over 1,200 of the UK’s most talented athletes. Since funding began, Lottery-supported athletes have won 438 Olympic and Paralympic Games medals. What’s more, country-wide funding for grass roots sports projects continues from the lottery fund, creating opportunities for the next generation of elite athletes to cross the finish line ahead of the field.

above The National Lottery has funded many sporting events

Environment With its huge futurist biomes containing a rainforest and Mediterranean

below It really could be, and probably is, you

environments, The Eden Project is one of the great surprise success stories funded by the Lottery Millennium Commission. Built in an abandoned quarry near St Blazey, Cornwall, the Eden Project’s gardens and biomes teach all about the environment and make for a great day in an area that was sorely underfunded - receiving over a million visitors in a year, and bringing employment and a new life to that part of Cornwall.

Education In the North of England, The Centre for Life has brought vitality into the centre of Newcastle. With its sciencebased exhibitions, events, theatre shows and the biggest planetarium in the North of

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England that has boosted the local economy by bringing in 225,000 people every year.

Heritage Communities at the very edge of the UK also benefit, with Heritage Lottery Funding being earmarked to rejuvenate the Viking settlement of Kirkwall in the Orkney and the county town of Cupar in Fife as part of its hugely successful Townscape Heritage Initiative. And very recently, the Mary Rose Museum in Portsmouth opened to show to the public the only 16th Century warship to be displayed anywhere in the world. The ongoing funding from the Heritage Lottery Fund for this project has so far given £23 million to the £35 million



The 400,000th lottery award was presented by singer Myleene Klass to Voluntary Action Merthyr Tydfil. Initially started by a group of mums on a housing estate who wanted a better life for their kids project, allowing the warship that was so dramatically raised from the waters of the Solenty in 1982 to be housed in the very same dockyard were she was built nearly 500 years earlier.

Health Some of the great health charities in the UK receive funding and support from the Lottery. From Mencap and The Conservation Volunteers to The School Food Trust and the Youth Sport Trust, money goes in every day to help local communities support those in need.

above Myleene Klass brings celebrity glitz to National Lottery projects right Health care charities receive funding from the Lottery below right The Eden project is one of the National Lottery’s greatest success stories

Voluntary Action Not all projects are grand landmark projects or working with well-known charities. The 400,000th lottery award was presented by singer Myleene Klass in March 2013 to Voluntary Action Merthyr Tydfil.

did you know ? The chance of winning the Lotto jackpot is one in 13,983,816 The largest Lotto Jackpot won by a single ticket was for £22,590,829 in 10 June 1995, shared by two double glazing businessmen The highest unclaimed prize was for a winning ticket worth £63,837,543.60, which was bought in Stevenage and Hitchins for the Euromillions draw of June 8 2012!

Initially started by a group of mums on a housing estate who wanted to create a better life for their kids by organising a disco for them, Voluntary Action Merthyr Tydfil has gone on to become an important local charity with a turnover in excess of £1 million. Funding from the Lottery this year was for £980,000.

The Big – and the Small The grants are not always in the millions or even the thousands. The smallest ”Award For All” offered by the National Lottery is £300, making the reach of the funding much longer and really making a difference at a grass roots level. From small community groups wanting to promote art in their local park, to funding for

days out for War Veterans, the list goes on of the good work done by the money from the Lottery - affecting everyone in the UK. For that reason, more than any other, perhaps the slogan of the lottery is more true than more people imagine... ”It could be you.” The fact is, it probably already is! | 45


Generate Gravitas Wisdom is in the eyes and ears of the people around you, so to make the right impact with your insights. You need to be able to generate the gravitas that says � my insights are worth paying attention to�. Mike Clayton tells us ten ways to make a real impact with your ideas. main picture To exude gravitas, you have to have the right body language

you have gravitas, you do not need to shout. Incorporating more pauses into your speech will also give you more time to choose your words with care.




People who have gravitas seem to generate an aura of space around them. You can do a lot to create that for yourself. When you are with people, imagine your bubble of personal space expanding to twice, three times, ten times the volume of your normal space. As you visualise this it will start to change the subtle cues of your body language and people will respect a greater distance. Practice this as you enter a room or come onto a stage to speak.

Gravitas means not rushing, whether it is in your movement or your speech. A steady, deliberate pace conveys total confidence. When you slow down your speaking pace, it increases your control of your speech and the relaxation of your vocal cords, allowing your voice to stay at the bottom end of its register. Deeper tones convey authority. Keep the volume down too, to make people strain to catch your important ideas and to avoid over-stretching your voice. If

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Wise people do and say little, but what they do and what they say conveys much.

Big movements convey charisma, big words convey intellect, big speeches convey status. Small movements convey economy, small words convey understanding, small speeches convey deep insight. Wise people do and say little, but what they do and what they say conveys much. Western culture has come to value charisma as the source of inspiration, but quiet confidence manages to whisper very loudly indeed, when it accompanies sound thinking.

Still Stillness is a special quality in our frenetic world. Cultivate the ability to be still. This will make a real contrast with the busy background, and create a powerful impression of weight

Mike Clayton LIVE LOVE LEGACY – the Latin word gravitas means just that. Practice sitting and standing still, curbing your desire to fidget and scratch. Allow your whole body to turn towards the person who is speaking and hold your attention on them without letting your eyes or mind wander to other things in the room. This creates a magical sense of presence.

Summarise Smart people dive in with their ideas to ensure that they are heard. Wiser souls wait, observe, then assess and summarise what they have heard, adding their evaluation and insight. The ability to summarise a lot of complex information into a short, easy to understand, but accurate synopsis is a great talent and one to learn.

Silence The ultimate in slowing your speech, the linguistic equivalent of still, silence is something few can master. Used at the right time, it can be a devastating contribution to your argument. How much smaller can your contribution be? The person who is most comfortable with silence will often dominate a conversation.

Timing Select the timing of your contribution with care. Don’t rush, jump in, or cut someone off. Instead, wait for silence before you speak, so there is only one thing for your audience to listen to. If you contribute early, you signal how smart you are: if you wait, and

above Gaining gravitas is all about slow, measured movements

With some people, you feel as if there is nothing else in the world for them but you.

weigh up all of the arguments, that gives you gravitas.

Attention When you speak to most people, you quickly become aware that they have other things on their mind. With some people though, you feel as if there is nothing else in the world for them but you. These people have both charisma and gravitas. Practice paying 100 per cent attention to the person who is speaking. When you do this, you will be amazed at how much you hear.

Process You won’t always know the answers nor have the insight to transform a situation. But what you can always do is put forward a process that will help to gather facts, clarify


issues and move to a decision. Wisdom is knowing when you don’t know enough and having a way to move onward regardless. In this complicated and uncertain world, people always defer to someone who knows how to move forward and what the next step is, even if they do not have the answer. Indeed, if people adopt your process, they will assume that you knew all along the answer they find.

Tone Who sets the tone? Whose demeanour matters? If it’s you, then you really do have gravitas. Set the tone by paying attention, being calm and still, and focusing on summarising the information and suggesting the process to get the answer everyone wants. b

The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out now:

You Can Have What You Want By Michael Neill

Getting Everything You Can By Jay Abraham

Confidence By Rob Yeung

 Recognise

 A

 The

the unique contribution you are here to make in the world

revolutionary new strategic business and marketing handbook

power to take control and live the life you want | 47


in London INTRODUCTION TO NLP An evening with Richard Bandler 4th October 2013

LICENSED PRACTITIONER OF NLP 7th – 13th October 2013


Book today on +44(0)207 927 6500

the best you

Feel & Look good



Feeling good about yourself makes the joy shine from your eyes and your skin. It makes others respond to you in new ways and it gives you a whole new outlook on life. Looking good draws others to you and enhances your life in ways you haven’t yet imagined. It’s great to find new ways to feel and look good now!

Life Without Limits


Stage fright Fear of public speaking is the most common phobia. Marisa Peer says get over it

Living a Vivid Life Kristen White speaks to Shayne Traviss about the runaway success of his radio station

It’s the good newS So much of the news we read is bad. Here are some stories to lift your spirits

Feel & Look good

Marisa Peer

Stage fright Speaking in public is one of the most common human fears – even for people who have found great success in business or who are accomplished professionals. Marisa Peer tells us how to get over this fear.


he fear of getting up in front of a group of people and speaking – even about a topic that is familiar – is something that affects millions of people.

In some ways, fear of public speaking is somewhat irrational when you compare it to other phobias or fears people commonly have. Fears of flying or of dogs, for example, are more understandable as both of those things could potentially pose a threat to safety in extreme cases. But nevertheless, the fear of public speaking is far more prevalent – so much so that my public speaking audio download is always one of my top selling products. When you look a little deeper though, there’s a very good reason for our fear of speaking in public. One of the

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main picture The first step to overcoming a fear is facing up to it

left Having to speak in public is the number one phobia

most enduring needs of human beings is to be accepted. Our fear of public speaking is, at its core, more a fear of rejection than anything else. We are still tribal people at our core and our need not be rejected is due to the fact when we belong to a group, our survival is more likely. Nowadays your survival on the planet is not linked to your need to belong to a group, so your fear of public speaking has no value. This means that you can let go of it. Many people who are good at driving fail driving test after driving test because they are not good at being judged and examined. So many people

kristen white

Feel & Look good left Giving presentations is part of many people's jobs below left Surround yourself with positivity to create positive thoughts

below Hiding from your fear won't make it go away

go into situations where they are being assessed and feel tense and anxious because they put too much store on the possibility that they could fail. So particularly for public speaking, when the scenario is often filmed or in front of numerous important people, our fear of being judged and rejected goes into overdrive. Ideas that have a strong emotional content always reach the subconscious mind because it is the feeling mind. Once accepted, these ideas create the same reactions in the body again and again. So if you have strong negative emotions linked to taking risks like speaking in

If you have positive emotions associated with public speaking, the effect your thoughts have on you is positive.

public, they will move into your subconscious mind and have a very real and negative effect on you physically. All of a sudden you will feel that your physical reaction to speaking in front of a crowd – sweating, dry mouth, nausea, and forgetting your speech – are all things you can’t control. The solution is changing fear to excitement. It sounds quite simple, but if you have positive emotions associated with public speaking then the effect your thoughts and emotions have on you is positive. The way you feel or react to anything is down to just two things:  The pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourself. If you can change these for the better, you will change how you feel act and react when you are speaking in public.  Weeks before a speech, start reciting a positive script. Tell yourself whenever you need to speak to a group or an audience you do it easily

naturally and with phenomenal confidence. Your voice is clear and confident and people understand what you are saying. Your words are always completely and perfectly understood because you define yourself easily. People listen to you they respect you; you receive a great deal of warmth and appreciation whenever you speak in public. You communicate easily and effectively with good energy. Your excellent mind quickly and cleverly supplies you with a solution and answer to any situation or question. The more you assure yourself of this, the less your body will have those negative physical reactions when it comes time to give a speech. With my clients, I reach them on the subconscious level via hypnosis to change their inner script. The most important thing to remember is that if you aren’t worried about being rejected, you won’t be worried about speaking in front of others. b | 51



LIVING A VIVID LIFE Ever wondered how to ignite an inspirational global movement when you don’t know a soul and you have not spent a pound? Kristen White speaks to Shayne Traviss, founder of, about how he achieved this.


magine if every day you’re having a personal conversation for an hour with one of the luminaries on the planet: Neale Donald Walsch, Don Miguel Ruiz, Marianne Williamson or Jack Canfield. What if the world was listening to this conversation? It’s happening several times a week, the result of an idea that evolved from personal questions about the meaning and purpose for one’s life. Toronto native, Shayne Traviss, created his vision five

years ago without any personal connections in wellness and spirituality. Today Vivid Life Radio boasts two million listeners, 200 contributors to the blog and 500,000 visitors a month to the website, http//: founder Shayne Traviss was recently followed by Oprah and OWN TV and VividLife Radio followed by Oprah’s Lifeclass. VividLife Radio is an online radio platform broadcast from Blog Talk Radio. Traviss says he created it all using social media


MAIN PICTURE Shayne Traviss is proud of the legacy that he has created

ABOVE RIGHT Running a radio station can be challenging

and without investing any money in advertising. “What worked for me was not knowing who everyone was,” says Traviss. He was not intimidated by the celebrity status of his guests, he just picked up the phone and started connecting. “I realised that these spiritual teachers are regular people who are following their passion. If I’m transparent and also following my passion, there is no resistance.” Like many visionaries,

KRISTEN WHITE FEEL & LOOK GOOD Shayne Traviss simply started walking in the direction of his idea and along the way the doors magically opened wide to just the right person at the right time. “ I look at each new meeting as a sign that I was moving in the right direction. My first interview was with Neal Donald Walsh. I looked him up on the internet and saw his book, Conversations with God had sold eight million of copies worldwide. I was nervous, but I thought, God is a good first interview.” Vivid Life now has other hosts and a variety of shows on topics from parenting to relationships. Traviss comes from a corporate background in marketing and event planning and he’s using this expertise to spread the message of transformation across the globe. “My entire life I have been on a journey of self discovery and I often find myself doing some deep soul searching,” says Traviss. "I’m working on a new web series and writing my first

vision into reality is “Put the vision into baby steps and work it backwards. Otherwise it becomes overwhelming and you stop moving forward.” You can listen to Vivid Life Radio Live almost every day of the week and find the archives of past guests at b

SHAYNE'S FORMULA FOR SUCCESS:  Intent: identify your intent for creating your business and keeping your focus on being in alignment with that intent

ABOVE Technology has made it so much easier to start the business you choose

BELOW LEFT Vivid Life is "On Air"

He says there are twelve principles of living a Vivid Life, including, solitude, love and fun.

 Authenticity: Being sure that your business is in alignment with who you are.

book.” says Traviss, who is excited about the growth of Vivid Life and the amount of lives that are being impacted by the messages of his guests. He says there are twelve principles of living a Vivid Life: connections, awareness, fun, solitude, evolution, contribution, gratitude, movement, love, exchange, environment and nourishment. He plans to cover this in depth in his upcoming book due to be released in 2014. “I like to help people shift from where they are to help get them to where they want to be,” says Traviss. “When I started Vivid Life, I took a big leap from the known to the unknown. The pain of not being myself was greater than the fear of the unknown. But I just jumped anyway into nothing.” His advice for someone who wants to manifest their


 Transparency: Being clear with yourself and others of your intent, mission and expectations.  Tenacity: Maintaining focus on your intent and following through regardless of the adversity and challenges that present themselves throughout the process.  Consistency: Making sure your business, product, or service maintains a consistent look, feel and flow so that wherever it shows up it is identifiable, in most businesses this would be called brand awareness.  Freebies: Utilize free resources such as Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest etc.), Blogging and Free Industry Resources to get your business, product or service out there.  Collaboration: It is my belief that there is no such thing as competition, only collaboration. Everyone has a unique expression of their business, product or service and so to identify that and build an alliance with like-minded individuals or business, who all collaborate for a collective goal.

The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out now:

Conversations with God By Neale Donald Walsch

The Secret By Rhonda Byrne

Chicken Soup For The Soul By Jack Canfield

l An

l Anyone

l Stories

Uncommon Dialogue

can access its power

to open the heart and spirit


Feel & Look good

the best you

The Good News Aaron's Last Wish

The news we read in the newspapers and see on the television is so negative that it can often feel like the media are conspiring to get you down in the dumps. That’s why The Best You is bringing you snippets of good news.


harity Aaron's Last Wish is making a difference to individuals throughout the USA with surprise $500 tips for waiters and waitresses. Aaron Collins's last wish before he died in July 2012 was that his brother Seth go out

and have a meal, then give a very big tip to the waiter or waitress on his behalf.Since then, Seth has given $500 tips throughout the USA, paid for by money raised through his website, with the intention of touching the lives

of ordinary people so they too can "pay it forward" in some way.A year on, more than $25,000 has been given away in often emotional and disbelieving scenes. To find out more, go to http:// and watch video of the tips being given.

From “Special Ed” to Ivy League


acob Barnett was born with autism. He didn’t start talking until he was three and doctors said that he should concentrate on the simple tasks of life such as tying his shoes and finger-painting. So it’s unsurprising then that when it was time to go to school, he was put in the “special ed” class.

But his mother noticed that he became easily bored with the activities the teachers were prescribing and that he created wondrously complex maps and patterns when he was left to play on his own. The more he was allowed to explore this side of himself, the more he started to come out of his shell

and even started talking to people. And now, at just 11 years old, Jacob is enrolled in college as a mathematics wizard and studies condensed matter physics at Purdue University in Indianapolis. "Every child has a special gift inside of them, regardless if you are a little different," Kristine Barnett, Jacob’s mother, told the BBC.

The answer is blowing in the wind Prime Minister David Cameron opened one of the world's largest offshore wind farms off the east Kent coast. The London Array has been built 10 miles north of Ramsgate, in the Thames Estuary. Its backers say the 175 turbines will produce enough electricity to power nearly 500,000 homes.

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the best you




Wealth [n] “happiness,” also “prosperity in abundance of possessions or riches” from Middle English “wele”, meaning “well-being”. Riches [n] “valued possessions, money, property,” Making money and bringing greater wealth to EVERY area of your life...

Life Without Limits


How to make money Everybody wants to know how to do it. Michael Neill has some tips

How to be a top… Entrepreneur Got an idea that can make you millions? How about developing it yourself

When financial crisis strikes Still in the depths of recession, Sue Plumtree gives us some guidance we could all use

19th to 22nd October 2013 Ibis Hotel, Earls Court, London



How to make money


When Michael Neill told his teenage son that the 18 participants in his mastermind group had made over $84,000 in an hour, his son was gob smacked. This is how they did it. When there was a fit between the offer and the person and the timing was right, the deal could be done on the spot.

Exchanging chickens


hen my son asked how the participants had made so much money in such a short space of time, I outlined the three ways to make money that I am about to share with you. But I also pointed out that making money had not been the real point of the exercise. What was important was bringing people's fearful thoughts to the surface in a fun and friendly atmosphere so they could look at them in the bright light of consciousness and see if they had any substance to them. And when there is no fear, creativity and fun are the inevitable result. Here are the three ways to make money I shared with him and with the group:

Planting seeds Many people seem to think of the game of sales like putting coins into a slot machine: you make your offerings and if you get lucky, the machine pays out. If it doesn't, you either keep putting in more coins in hopes of "hitting the

main picture Making money is hard, but there are certain things you can do

jackpot", or you move on to another machine. But when you approach sales from a place of joyful service, you realise that making offers is more like planting a garden than gambling. It's not impersonal. Instead of dropping coins into a machine, you are working with a living system. And instead of focusing on what you might get back if you're lucky, you have to take some time to think about what you would like to grow. Plant a tomato seed and if it takes root, you'll wind up with a tomato. If you don't like tomatoes... well, that might not be your best plan.

Picking fruit Some of the largest financial gains people made in the hour were by going to existing clients and creating offers designed especially for them. Since they already had a preexisting relationship with these people, they didn't have to "water the soil" by establishing their credibility and ability to add value ­â€“ they just had to find the differences they would love to make and the way they would most like to make them.

Instead of my having to carry chickens around with me that I could trade for baked goods or clothing or shelter, the invention of money means I get to sell my chickens for money and use the money to get the cupcake, sweater, or house.

Money was originally created as a means of exchange that would simplify the barter process. Instead of my having to carry chickens around with me that I could trade for baked goods or clothing or shelter, the invention of money means I get to sell my chickens for money and use the money to get the cupcake, sweater, or house. When it comes to our modern economy, your goods and services (i.e. your "chickens") need to meet two criteria: you need to enjoy doing or creating them and do/create them really well, and other people need to value receiving /using them. After sharing these ideas with my son and giving him examples of what people had actually done, he asked what freed people up to access the kind of energy, creativity and fearlessness that led to all that money being made in such a short space of time. This was my answer: When you can clearly see the difference between what money is good for (facilitating the exchange of goods and services) and what money is terrible at but often used in an attempt to create (security, peace of mind, and happiness), you stop trying to make money to make yourself feel better and realise that the better you feel, the easier it is to make money. b | 57

WEALTH & RICHES the best candidates

How to be a top Entrepreneur Starting your own business is a risky thing to do, especially in light of the economy. But there are brave ones out there. We chatted to them about how to succeed at entrepreneurship. Daniel Fitzgerald Director, SW London Plumbing

Tayrene Mugridge Founder, Barrett's Ridge Beer Bread

Quit your job. Until I had nothing to fall back on, I couldn’t seriously start my own business. Have a plan. From how much money spend to how you are going to answer the phone, you need a plan. Know your limits. In the beginning I tried doing everything by myself. It is impossible and will eventually have you hating your job. No Slacking. Even though I do a lot of work from home, I make sure that I am in the “office” by 8:00am and I work until the last email has been answered. Be Social. Social media is the cheapest and easiest form of advertising and when done properly can really help get maximum exposure with minimum effort. Believe. Sounds clichéd but unless you believe in your brand and your product, no one else will.

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It is important to consider what generates profit quickly and how you can keep your overheads down. This will allow you to grow rapidly. You need to be able to weather the financial storms, as it is not easy in the beginning, but the feeling once through those storms is indescribably good. Choose an industry that in great demand. Treat your customers like gold – they will love you for it and spread your name like wild fire.

Jessica Elliott

Founder of J's Dance Factory & agency

I have learnt that the building of a community of likeminded business people is invaluable. For me the start up phase was exciting, but a bit lonely. It is important to look for more than financial success in the start up phase: while money is important, success can be measured in many ways. Great entrepreneurs learn from so-called failures. Be honest with yourself about your successes and their failures and just keep getting up, determined to move forward.

Frank Bastow

CEO, Bastow’s Property Restoration



Life Without Limits

Stay in context. Nobody these days cares about how or what you do in this life. They buy why you do it. Make sure you find out why you want to be an entrepreneur and stick to that context. Commit to the impossible. Have massive goals that make you excited and frightened. They are the only goals you should have. Get energy any way you can by eating well and exercising. You need to be fit to have the drive to carry on where mortals would give up. And lastly, try to have fun.

Jonathan Pfahl

Managing Director, Rockstar Mentoring

Attract the attention of the big guys. The CEOs, the big names within entrepreneurship who, if they position it right, might be willing to help. “I’m a young entrepreneur, I’ve respected what you’ve done throughout your whole career, I’m looking to set up a business and I would love to take you for coffee and get your ideas of how I can add more to my business.”

John Davy

Founder of Jongleurs Comedy Clubs

The worst things about being an entrepreneur are the paradox of having nowhere and nobody to turn to for advice. There is often a "fear of failure" and always having to have 100 per cent confidence in your own abilities. The best thing about being an entrepreneur is being totally free to test any idea in a fast time frame – to learn and fail fast and iterate like your life depended on it... and sometimes winning.

Joel Brown

CEO and Founder, Addicted2Success

In the September issue of The Best You, we chat to the former CEO of Virgin Atlantic, Steven Ridgway CBE and investigate one of the greatest plights of the modern man – hair loss. We also take a look at the rising problem of obesity in the UK and what various organisations are doing to reduce it. All this and so much more. Looking forward to it!

Successful entrepreneurs understand that failure is part of success. Next time you experience failure, try to look at it as a lesson that you are fortunate enough to learn from that some others will never have the opportunity to see in their entire lifetime, and that it will be your greatest advantage in a world full of people who are too afraid to fail.

WEALTH & RICHES Sue Plumtree

When a financial crisis hits home As a life coach Sue Plumtree has all kinds of people coming to her for help. But lately many people are coming to her with financial difficulties, which happen to be her area of expertise. She lets us know what to do when a financial crisis hits home.

Steps to take control of your financial crisis:  Gather information. If you are in a potential redundancy situation, you need to know what your rights are.  Find out what benefits you’re entitled to. You can find out this information online but it’s probably better to contact the Citizens Advice Bureau because they can advise you based on your personal situation.  Contact an independent financial adviser for options.  Prepare a budget. This is such a common sense thing to do you’d think everybody has one, but that’s not the case, so it bears repeating. Keep a record of your ownand everybody else’s expenses. Even small things add up and, before you know it, figures that seemed small in the beginning become significant.  Calculate the gap between your income (excluding your salary) and your outgoings. What can you cut? You will be surprised how many things you can easily do without. A lot of spending is automatic, money we spend without wondering if we really need – whatever it is.

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opposite ABOVE Don't fall into the debt trap. Rather cut back on expenses

opposite middle Don't be afraid to tell your partner. You are a team

opposite below Work out a budget you can afford and stick to it


client might have heard rumours of redundancy and scared themselves into a standstill, unable to think. They’re likely to be in their late forties or early fifties – a difficult age when you’re about to lose your job. Whether we like it or not, we live in an ageist society. The first thing I advise my clients to do is to talk with their partner about what’s going on. You’re in this together. My client’s redundancy is not a personal tragedy; it affects the family and needs to be dealt with as such.

This is not the time to bury your head in the sand. It may be a cliché, but seems to be the most common response in times of crisis. Nowadays, any kind of financial crisis tends to happen with increasing frequency. Practical steps need to be taken for various reasons. Not knowing where you stand

is particularly scary. Here it’s easy to imagine the worst-case scenario. You can’t move in any direction until you know what the situation actually is. Taking panicked action is even worse. Some people turn to moneylenders as a first resort. Even those who are still employed but find it hard to make ends meet turn to payday lenders. The Independent on Sunday reported in June that, “One million families are being forced to take out payday loans every month…” and “Half of the people who take out payday loans find they can’t cover the cost of repayment – which can attract interest rates of more than 5,000 per cent – which means they are forced to take out new credit and spiral further into debt.” There are much better steps you can take. Taking action, however small, can shake off this feeling of helplessness and despair that can grab you by the throat. Knowing where you stand makes a huge difference because, until then, you can’t know what choices and decisions to make. Some people choose to

deal with the situation on their own, even though they have a partner. This is a very poor idea for a number of reasons. Firstly, it can drive a wedge between the two of you, and your partner will have no idea what’s going on. Your intention may have been to protect them but it will only damage your relationship because there will be a wall between you. The other reason is that your partner could actually help. You’re stronger together. Finally, this could actually be a huge opportunity to change direction, to figure out what you would really like to do. Whatever route you decide to take, take it with full awareness and ask yourself what the advantages and disadvantages are to ensure it’s the best choice for you as a family. b



the best you



First female Muslim premier

Wise, Just and Brave

Democracy is necessary to peace and to undermining the forces of terrorism."

It's little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world."

Benazir Bhutto, daughter of Pakistan's premier Zulfikar Ali Bhutto was born in 1953. In 1977, her father's government was overthrown in a military coup led by General Mohammad Zia-ul-Haq. When Zulfikar was hanged, she inherited leadership of her father's party, the PPP, becoming the first female leader of a major Pakistani political party. She suffered arrest and imprisonment in a wall-less desert cell for six months, where she was attacked by insects day and night, then was kept under house arrest for six years. In 1988 Bhutto contested the elections and became the first female Prime Minister of any Muslim country, urging economic reform for her country. Defeated in the 1990 election, Bhutto was tried for misconduct in public office, but continued as a prominent focus of discontent and was re-elected from 1993 to 1996. She was convicted in absentia in 1999 of corruption and sentenced to three years imprisonment. She continued to direct her party from abroad, and was re-affirmed PPP leader in 2002 after being granted amnesty. She returned to Pakistan in 2007 to contest new elections and was assassinated within a few months of her return by conservative forces in the country and is regarded by many as a martyr to democracy.

Born in 1931 in the province formally known as the Transvaal in South Africa, Desmond Tutu left university in 1954 to follow his father into teaching. Three years later, when the apartheid government introduced inferior education for black students, he resigned and became an ordained as an Anglican priest in 1960. Determined to help his community, Tutu progressed through the South African church until in 1978 he became the first black General Secretary of the South African Council of Churches. During this time, the South African government was forcing the relocation of black Africans and Asians from newly designated "white" areas to the "homelands," only permitting them to return as "guest workers" if they had passbooks. Tutu was next elected Archbishop of Cape Town – the first black African to take the role at the head of the South African Anglican Church. In 1984 he received the Nobel Peace Prize. His activism alongside international pressure helped force the eventual dismantling of apartheid. In later life Tutu became the chair of The Elders, a private initiative mobilizing the experience of senior world leaders. His historic accomplishments, his dedication to justice and world peace make him one of the world's great fighters for human rights.

 "Charismatic and a brilliant politician, her rise to power in a culture not traditionally associated with women's rights is a testimony to her personal qualities." – Bernardo Moya

 "Desmond Tutu made it impossible for the South African government to maintain its racist regime. Counselling forgiveness rather than vengeance, his spiritual guidance may have saved South Africa from descending into violence.” – Bernardo Moya

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the best you




The man behind the web

The highest flying seagull

The important thing is the diversity available on the Web.

All sorts of things can happen when you’re open to new ideas.

During his appearance in the opening ceremony for the London Olympic Games, NBC commentators famously said of Tim Berners-Lee: “If you haven’t heard of him, we haven’t either.” His invention is better-known, however. It is the worldwide web. Born in southwest London in 1955, he was a keen trainspotter as a child and first learnt about electronics from his model railway. He later earned a first class degree in physics Oxford. While a contractor on the CERN particle accelerator in 1980, he conceived the idea of a computerised document-sharing using hypertext. Their first website went online in 1991. Characteristically modest and private, Tim's ethics centre on public service and innovation for the good of humanity. This is why Berners-Lee insisted his invention be free of copyright. A radical champion of internet freedom, Lee takes a lead in overseeing the web's development through the Worldwide Web Consortium. In 2009 he founded the World Wide Web Foundation to "Advance the Web to empower humanity by launching transformative programs." He was knighted in 2004 for his worldchanging work.

It is not often the case that a mill worker not only dreams of the stars, but goes there. Such is the story of Valentina Tereshkova. Born in 1937 in Maslennikovo, Central Russia, she was the daughter of a tractor driver and a textile plant worker When she was two, her father was killed in World War II. Tereshkova came to the attention of the the USSR government because of her:skydiving. After the flight of Yuri Gagarin in space in 1961, they wanted to put a woman in space. And they wanted a skydiver. In 1962 Tereshkova was selected from 400 applicants to join a team of 5 female cosmonauts. She was eventually chosen for the flight and on 16th June 1963, she flew into space, making 48 orbits of the Earth over three days, while performing experiments on herself. Often nauseous and disoriented, she nevertheless spoke with Khruschev during the flight, and became known for her call sign: "Chaika", or seagull. Not only the first woman in space, she was also the first civilian, since she was only inducted into the Soviet Airforce as a formality when she became a cosmonaut. Tereshkova returned to Earth a hero of the Soviet Republic and went on to become a prominent politician. Still alive at the age of 76 she announced in 2013 that she is keen to fly to Mars

 "Berners-Lee's modesty and dedication to public service and championing of web openness show that not every huge success comes with great fanfare or is motivated by personal gain. The worldwide web is his extraordinary legacy.” – Bernardo Moya

 "Her humble beginnings were an advantage – the ruling Soviet regime wanted to ensure a member of the proletariat could do great things. It's a reminder that with an interest in the world, the sky really is not the limit!" – Bernardo Moya | 63

tips Gary Russell Building Relationship bank accounts.

Appreciating differences

Most people say that their partner is the opposite of them. Obviously, that’s a natural thing to do in choosing whom you are interested in. Then answer this: why do people spend their whole time together trying to make the other person be like you? We need to celebrate what makes us unique. aYou need to recognise what brought you two together. Differences are fun, exciting and truly will help later as your relationship grows. Take 10 minutes with your partner and share five things that attracted you to this person. All great teams in sport or business win because they are made up of differences that compliment the whole.

Think of a person you would do anything for. How did it get that way? Not by accident. All relationships are like bank accounts. The more money you put into the account, the higher your equity becomes. We also need to look at our family, friends and even colleagues as accounts that need deposits. This is how trust and loyalty develop. The higher the emotional equity that has been deposited, the more willing a person is to stay by your side through thick and thin. So get out there and start making deposits to those people you want a strong relationship. Winning comes when we feel we are all in it together.

Out for the


Come on, say yes!

Research shows we need nine positives for every negative. Obviously if someone is in danger or can get hurt we would want to stop them. But think about it, how many of us really like be told no? ‘Catch people doing something good’. Sounds like a cliché, but research says that workers struggle to be told ‘thanks, or well done’ at least once in five days. With children, redirect their behaviour and praise them when you see positive things. With adults, find moments to say well done, but be specific about what you are praising or thanking them for. Saying ‘no’ isn’t the answer to help us win.

We all want to win, but the truth is that many of us don’t know how to go about it. Gary Russell, Talent Strategist from Winning Profile, gives us some top tips on how to achieve that elusive winning streak.

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Developing a winning process

Great leaders in any discipline are able to recreate it their process. Most of us though think it is as easy as A-B-C. The truth is, it is actually C-B-A. The ABC approach is focusing on the A (achievement) and quickly getting it done. The problem with this approach is that no one spends time building the C (concept) or B (the belief or idea). Nor do they worry about whether there is buy-in. Great leaders get teams to build the concept or idea first. That building and involvement builds belief and buy-in. When you create alignment of idea and belief, achievement becomes easier and winning happens more consistently..

the best you




The pace of change can sometimes bewilder, but also gives amazing opportunities to meet new people, discover new things and thrive. Bring out the best in you by discovering the latest innovations that will put you ahead of the pack.

Life Without Limits


Lawful hackers Hackers aren’t always the bad guys. Rahul Gulati is a hacker on the right side of the law

Top 10 wellbeing blogs We love a list, so we bring you our favourite wellbeing blogs


Rahul Gulati

Hacker or Cracker? When we hear about hackers in the news, it’s often because they are in trouble with the law. But not all hackers are lawbreakers. Rahul Gulati, a hacker working on the right side of the law, clears up some misconceptions.


ackers have always been in the news for various reasons – good and bad. The word ‘hacker’ itself conjures up the picture of a bespectacled guy sitting in the dark corner of a room endlessly working on the terminal till wee hours of the day. More often than not, you will find

him wearing headphones that are vibrating with loud rock music (well, that is helping him concentrate) and you might also find emptied cans of Coke, Red Bull and stale pizza pies around him, meaning he has been glued to his machine forever. But, who are hackers anyway? The Jargon File describes ‘hacker’ as ‘one who enjoys the intellectual challenge of creatively

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main picture Our perceptions of hackers are pretty stereotyped

overcoming or circumventing limitations.’ Of late, the term ‘hacker’ has been maligned and recklessly used to label mischievous activities performed by geeks. It is important to understand the difference between the good guys and the bad guys. Eric S. Raymond (popularly known as ‘ESR’), a leading open source software advocate says, “Unfortunately, many journalists and writers have been fooled into using the word ‘hacker’ to describe crackers; this irritates real hackers no end. The basic difference is this: hackers build things, crackers break them.” Crackers exploit computer security vulnerabilities, perform

Rahul Gulati


left Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg started out as a hacker

phishing attacks and siphon off data to unreliable hands. Remember those suspicious looking emails that land in your inbox announcing, ‘Congratulations! You’re now a millionaire!’ and ask for your bank details to transfer lottery money? Amongst large-scale attacks, recently Sony’s PlayStation Network came under attack that led to personal details of more than 77 million PlayStation users being compromised and caused the network outage that lasted for days. At the other end of the spectrum are ‘hacktivist’ groups like Anonymous that ‘promote political ends, chiefly free speech, human rights, and information ethics.’ (source: Wikipedia). These also include whistleblowers like Julian Assange and Edward Snowden who leaked classified documents and governmentsponsored mass surveillance programs on the Internet. Hackers on the other hand like to build products, write open-source software and contribute to their community. The greatest technology

companies of our times like Apple, Microsoft, Dropbox, Facebook have been founded by hackers like Steve Wozniak, Paul Allen, Bill Gates, Drew Houston and Mark Zuckerberg. Hackers are basically tinkerers, problem-solvers who like to raise the bar in terms of what technology can accomplish. They are also sometimes employed by an organisation who trust them to attempt to penetrate networks and/or computer systems, using the same methods as a cracker, for the purpose of finding and fixing computer security vulnerabilities. Government organizations and private corporations employ hackers and security management companies to monitor and control data usage, mitigate risks, prevent data thefts and avoid security breach. These efforts involve hackers being asked to perform penetration tests, where they simulate cyber-attacks on their clients to find possible loopholes in their technology infrastructure and determine their preparation in case of large-scale attacks. One

RECOMmENDED READING Inside Steve’s Brain By Leander Kahney  Business

lessons from Steve Jobs

below Steve Wozniak: former hacker, red carpet attendee

The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out now:

Throwing Sheep in the Boardroom By Soumitra Dutta

How social networking will transform your life

such company is AlienVault that manages security for organizations like the Spanish Army and municipalities like the City of Los Angeles. Paul Graham, who started seed capital firm Y Combinator that has funded Dropbox, Airbnb and Disqus amongst many others, likes to equate hackers to painters. According to him, “Like painting, most software is intended for a human audience. And so hackers, like painters, must have empathy to do really great work. You have to be able to see things from the user’s point of view.” b

Just Get on with It! By Ali Campbell  Expect

to achieve big results – fast | 67


the best you

Hot blogs! With so much of our time spent online these days and so much of the content being of the negative variety, we’re letting you in on one of our secrets. These are 10 of our favourite cyberspaces our top 10 list of wellbeing blogs.

the best you


eing a predominantly digital magazine, we are always looking for the best online content, whether it’s to coax their talented writers to come and be one of our own, or just to get inspired. Whether these are old or new, foreign or familiar, we hope you enjoy what we’ve put together.

with being happy. It exists to help you and her figure out together how to be happier. This blog encourages you to figure out what being happier means to you. Check it out here:

Spread Happy

Run by Lori Deschene, this site features tips and authentic stories from readers of all ages all over the globe. You’ll find posts about happiness, motivation, inspiration, love, relationships, meaning, possibilities, mindfulness, and letting go. Check it out here:

Andi Evans is an award winning blogger and frequent contributor to MindBodyGreen, The Happy Starfish, Cafe Truth and The Master Shift. She is Certified Happiness and Success Coach and the blogger behind Spread Happy. Like so many of us, Andi has overcome adversity and decided to do something positive with it. Truly inspiring. Check it out here:

Sophia World

Purpose Fairy

Tiny Buddha

Sophia Husbands is the woman behind this blog, and you might recognise her from The Best You blog, as well as this very magazine. Sophia World is filled with things that inspire Sophia as she keeps us up to date on her crazy life. Check it out here:

Addicted2Success Run by Joel Brown, who was a contributor in July’s issue writing about The Placebo Effect, Addicted2Success aims to empower and inspire people by spreading knowledge of selfdevelopment and life changing stories to the world. With new motivational videos, interviews, audio and more with your favourite entrepreneurs, life coaches, celebrities and inspirational people from all over the world. Check it out here:

In Pursuit of Happiness This site is part personal development blog, part online journal of an ordinary woman, Britt Reints, who is obsessed


Luminita Saviuc is the magic behind Purpose Fairy – a blog that serves as a vault of her observations on the human condition, and how to access our infinite selves in our daily lives. Her inspirations include visionaries who are no longer with us like Lao Tzu, Albert Einstein, Max Planck and Steve Jobs, and living legends such as Wayne Dyer, Bruce Lipton, Louise Hay and Vishen Lakhiani. Check it out here:

Alright Tit When Lisa Lynch discovered a lump in her breast at the age of 28, she didn’t see it as a reason to give up – she saw it as an opportunity to leave a legacy. She started blogging about her experiences with a sense of humour one wouldn’t necessarily expect from a cancer patient, and the result is a collection of whimsical stories told with deft skill. Check it out here: http://www.alrighttit.blogspot.

Life Hack Lifehack is your source for

above There are some amazing blogs out there, just waiting to make you feel better

tips to help improve all aspects of your life. Compiled by a wide variety of contributors, they are widely recognised as one of the premier productivity and lifestyle blogs on the web. This site is dedicated to lifehacks, which is a phrase that describes any advice, resource, tip or trick that will help you get things done more efficiently and effectively. Just our cup of tea. Check it out here: http://www.

The Positivity Blog

Hating his job and the path his life was on, he gave it all up, moved to Japan and started to train as a ninja.

main picture Feeling great and blogging about feeling great is great for everyone

A 32-year-old Swede named Henrik Edberg runs this positivity driven blog. For the past seven years he has immersed himself in the world of personal development, which has improved a great many aspects of his life. This blog is a space where he can share his experiences and what he has learnt, and hopefully help some lost souls along the way. Check it out here:

30-Year-Old Ninja Becoming The Best You is about finding a direction in life that you are passionate about, no matter how crazy it may seem. Izzy is a perfect example of this. Hating his job and the path his life was on, he gave it all up, moved to Japan and started to train as a ninja. These are his stories, and an inspiration to anyone who thinks making a change is impossible. Check it out here: b | 69

We Support Rainbows Hospice


amilies and staff at Rainbows Hospice for Children and Young People want to thank kind-hearted donors who have honoured the memory of Susan Taylor by contributing to the charity. Susan Taylor (34) died while she was taking part in her challenge for Rainbows Hospice and Diabetes UK. She tragically died on Sunday in Boulogne after she collapsed on the final part of the challenge. Susan had been an Ambassador at Rainbows Hospice, in Loughborough, Leicestershire, for over two years. During that time she has tirelessly fundraised, helped out at events and raised awareness of the hospice, which provides care for children and young people with life-limiting illnesses. Susan even took time out of her career as an accountant to devote more efforts to her charity work and her training for her channel swim. When Susan embarked on her challenge on Sunday 14 July, contributions on her Virgin Money page stood at £2,700.

Rainbows Hospice for Children and Young People helps children and families in these situations with the emotional and physical challenges they face, helping them to make the most of life.

By Wednesday 17 July, donations had rocketed to almost £57,000. Rainbows has also been advised to expect a generous gift of £150,000 from an anonymous donor in the next few days. Susan’s family are very touched by people’s thoughtfulness and kind sentiments. Geoff Ellis, chief executive at Rainbows Hospice for Children and Young People, said: “Susan was extremely passionate about Rainbows and over the past two years she has done so many wonderful things to support us. Nothing was ever too much trouble and she was totally dedicated to fundraising for the hospice. On behalf of Rainbows, I would like to thank everyone who has honoured Susan’s memory by making a donation. The generosity of those who knew Susan, and those who didn’t, is incredible and we are very moved by everyone’s kindness.”


10 million metres

War Child

Teenage Cancer Trust

Sebastian's Action Trust

Children Of The Night

SMA Trust

Bosom Buddies UK

The Children’s Trust

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Some children don’t live long enough. We’re here for them and the people who love them most. And as the East Midlands hospice for children and young people, we need support too.

Help us be there. Visit

Sam at Rainbows

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Life Without Limits


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