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April 2013

THE BEST

YOU

Life Without Limits

TM

✚ EQUINE ASSISTED THERAPY

✚ DR ROHAN VIDEO INTERVIEW

LUCKY CHARM HOW BAD BOY COLIN TURNED IT AROUND


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CONTENTS April 2013

#TheBestYou

REGULARS 5 Editor’s Letter

Bernardo Moya welcomes you to the latest issue of The Best You

FEATURES 8 Farrell the former wild child

Colin Farrell chats to The Best You about his misspent youth and how he’s turned it all around

12 Turning Point

Bernardo Moya chats to Dr Rohan Weerasinghe, a civil engineer turned personal development expert

8

INNER YOU 16 5 Tips to Stick to Your Resolutions

A third of the way through 2013 and The Best You asks how well you’re doing with those New Year’s Resolutions

18 From the Horse's Mouth

Equine specialist Candice Bettison guides us through using the power of horses in a therapy that’s sweeping the planet

20 An Unexpected Gift

Medium and author Dee Weldon-Bird talks about the trials and tribulations in her life that made her who she is

ENJOY LIFE 24 Are You Covered?

Travelling is very exciting, but in the excitement we shouldn’t forget the important things, like insurance

26 4 Ways that Humour Heals

Humour expert and author of many books on making you feel less blue, Therese Borchard shows us that laughter is the best medicine

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LIVE LOVE LEGACY 42 Holding onto the Magic ‑

44 Maybe Baby

Fertility guru, author and mum tells how the power of positive thought can give you the family you want

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46 Caught red-nosed!

Red Nose Day celebrates its 25th birthday this year. The Best You takes a look at the last quarter of a century

FEEL & LOOK GOOD 50 In Search of Happiness

Gillian Jones gives us some tips on how to achieve happiness. True happiness. Not the sort that comes with getting a new car.

52 This Charming Man

52

Makeover queen Nicky Hambleton-Jones gives our gentlemen readers some top tips for elevating their style

WEALTH & RICHES 56 Risk - And How to Handle it...

Mike Clayton, author and expert on learning to say ‘No’, makes us aware of potential risks and directs us around them

58 Exciting Times for Business

"The CEO Expert”, Roger Harrop, eases our mind during this scary economic climate and assures us it’s not all bad news

21 CENTURY LIVING st

66 What’s App with Apps?

Tech blogger and gadget aficionado Lakshmi Harikumar tells companies where they should put their money – apps or mobile friendly sites

68 Every Drop You Take

Being environmentally friendly is a big part of 21st Century Living, and this month The Best You gives you some tips on being water wise

70 We Support 60 ABC of a Purpose Driven Career War Child, a charity that takes care of children affected by war, is a worthy cause Looking for a career change? Natalie Ekberg gently guides us towards making a change that’s good for our souls and bank accounts 4 W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO

that needs your support


EDITORIAL I

recently saw a report from the Association of Teachers and Lecturers about the problems teachers face in education. ATL General Secretary Dr Mary Bousted said: ‘Regrettably teachers and support staff are suffering the backlash from deteriorating standards of behaviour. They are frequently on the receiving end of children’s frustration and unhappiness, and have to deal with the fall-out from parents failing to set boundaries and family breakdowns.' The report revealed that more than half (53 per cent) of the school staff questioned that student behaviour has worsened in the last 10 years, with a similar proportion (53.2 per cent) indicating that it has got worse in the past five years. Many of the school staff questioned laid blame for poor behaviour on parents. Over three quarters (78.7 per cent) said that a lack of boundaries at home was the reason for challenging, disruptive and abusive behaviour by pupils. Overall, the vast majority of school and college staff (88.7 per cent) said they had dealt with challenging or disruptive behaviour this academic year. Of these, more than two thirds (68.4 per cent) said they had dealt with bad behaviour directed at them. More than half (55 per cent) of school staff said they had been forced to deal with verbally aggressive pupils, and 21percent had dealt with a child that was physically aggressive.

Parenting the balance of society "To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while." - Josh Billings

our politicians, and most importantly, the lack of love and support. We can say all that. But most important is how we, their parents, are not being the right role models. It's not easy for us parents right now. We find ourselves overwhelmed with concerns about lack of money, maybe even lack of job, lack of security… Uncertainty is all around.

An Education Department spokesman said: “Disruptive or violent behaviour has no place in the classroom. That is why we But the bottom line is this: education have strengthened teachers’ powers to starts at home. We can’t leave it to the put them back in charge.” teachers to do it alone! We have seen a massive change in basic manners, education, politeness, respect We parents have a massive responsibility. to the police force, ambulance and social It's not only to be concerned about the services, and especially to our elderly in society we are leaving to our kids. We recent years. It really is phenomenal to also have to ask the question: what kids see how this has happened in only one we are leaving to our society? generation. Our kids model what they see, hear and feel based on what they learn or are taught at home. That's why it We want your stories is our job to build a society that is The Best You is all about inspiring people. based on values and respect. If you have a tale to tell that you think will help someone become the best they can be, Let's face it. It's not easy for our please tell us. kids and teenagers. They probably feel quite let down. They are directly feeling the impact of the global economy, the mistakes of

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CONTRIBUTORS Candice Bettison was born in Cape Town and grew up around horses. She moved to London at the age of 19, where she spent five years teaching horse riding. After studying Reiki, she decided that her future lay with the equine species and did her Equine Reiki degree. She became familiar with Equine Assisted Therapy and hasn’t looked back. @CandiceB13

Dee Weldon-Bird

has had a life of hardship and has come out the other end, turning her challenging experiences into a gift she uses to help people. She now practices as a medium, helping those who need closure connect with those on the other side. Dee lives in Loughton in Essex. @DorothyBird

Mike Clayton

has been a successful project manager and management consultant, before changing career and becoming a successful coach and trainer, founding two training businesses. Now in his third career as a speaker and author, Mike has got more done than most, yet said NO to more things than he has said yes to. @MikeClayton01

#TheBestYou

Natalie Ekberg

is an international Career Transition Coach and author. Natalie is the author of two e-books in the area of selfdevelopment, and several interactive courses related to teaching Basic and Advanced Coaching Skills. To read more visit: www.lbcareercoaching. com @LBCoachNatalie

Roger Harrop

The CEO Expert, has spent over 25 years leading international business at the highest level, putting him in a unique position to deal with contemporary business challenges. His mix of experience and his infectious enthusiasm has inspired global audiences, making him the most highly regarded business growth expert. @TheCEOexpert

Therese J. Borchard

Marisa Peer

believes that laughter is the best medicine and blogs at thereseborchardblog. com. Her work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, O Magazine, Psychology Today, Parenting, and many others. @thereseborchard

Nicky Hambleton-Jones is a household name, a pioneer in reinvention and purveyor of reigniting one's youth and inner sparkle. She's at the forefront of the fashion and beauty industries, making it her business to find the best solutions to help women look and feel younger. @NHJStyle

is a best-selling author of four books and was named Best British Therapist by Men's Health. She has spent 25 years working with clients including royalty, rock stars, actors, CEOs and media personalities and has developed her own style that is frequently referred to as life-changing. @MarisaPeer

Tanya Franks

has been acting since 1986. She has just finished filming alongside Lindsey Lohan and Grant Bowler playing Richard Burton’s first wife, Sybil, in the Lifetime TV movie Liz And Dick. She is one of Britain’s most versatile leading actresses – particularly known for her role as Rainie in EastEnders. @ThatTanyaFranks

Gillian Jones

is the founder of Emerge Development Consultancy and co-Managing Director. Gillian has worked with numerous organisations during the past 17 years, helping them realize their true potential. She has coauthored 50 Top Tools for Coaching and co-written a book on Coaching Culture Strategy to be published in 2013. @EmergeUK

Lakshmi Harikumar

anchors the content marketing efforts of MobStac Inc. MobStac seamlessly integrates with your existing website, making your content accessible to mobile devices through sites and apps. It allows you to publish content once and manage sites across all mobile devices.

The Best You Magazine Editor and Publisher Bernardo Moya Deputy Editor Associate Editor Layout Technical Consultant Advertising

Zoë Henry

Icons in The Best You Magazine

Matt Wingett Joanna Frackiewicz Martin Carter Carla Phipps carla.phipps@thebestyou.co

The Best Group International 5 Percy St, London, United Kingdom, W1T 1DG Tel: +44 (0)845 230 2033 | www.thebestyou.co

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Despite offscreen antics that threatened his Hollywood career, Colin Farrell has merged a respected actorand a wiser man. The Best You discovers the story behind his wild years, and how he has changed.

For a young, attractive man to make the leap from Irish television star to Hollywood sex god at the age of 22 sounds like a dream come true. But as Colin Farrell concedes, when it all catches up with you, it can be a frightening experience, especially if you have been living as a Hollywood wildchild. Before he arrived in America, he remembers: "I was not full of self-confidence. My main ambition at that time was to work, to work, to work. As an actor, you understand very early on that you’re in a low percentile job for getting consistent work... The practical thought every day was just to get work as an actor." All that changed when the Hollywood studios heard about the new Irish kid on the block: "There was so much on offer. It was Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, or the keys to the exact city of your dreams. I remember Steve Martin introduced me at the Oscars some years back with the words ‘the next step is rehab’. Let’s put it this way – it wasn't hard to find 20 strangers who wanted to go back to my hotel room till 8 o'clock in the morning."t During those wild years, Farrell was voted the world's sixth sexiest man by Company magazine and was romantically associated with a string of high profile women, including Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears and Playboy playmate Nicole Narain. It all took its toll. He was embroiled ivn court cases regarding a leaked-online sex tape, and spent time in rehab for exhaustion, and drug and alcohol dependency. Farrell recalls how 8 W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO


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COVER STORY

COLIN FARRELL


#TheBestYou

those wild times came in a block of seven years up to 2006. "It came crashing down like a house of cards. It doesn’t make a noise but you can see the structure is gone. Initially, I was fearful – you know, ‘Jesus, whatt’s going to happen, the phone isn’t ringing’, all of that." "Without any self-aggrandising, the myth had shown itself to be fallacy," he says. Nevertheless, there were people on his side. "I’m glad to say I have a bit of goodwill in Hollywood; it might seem a contradiction but it actually exists. ...I know that people rooted for me during those wild years, and that was lovely to discover after the fact." The studios were cautious and it was Farrell's passion for acting that kept him heading in the right direction. "Some big films went away from me, but that was kind of okay because I had other work lined up that provided an opportunity for me to go back to the more simplistic elements of what I was trying to do, which were the elements I fell in love with – being a good actor who tells a story in a way that your voice comes across, but also that you allow the person who is perceiving it to have their own interpretation and experience of it. So I went back to that, and through that period I did movies such as Pride and Glory, Cassandra’s Dream, In Bruges. Those films allowed me to reconnect, and that’s where I find myself now."

The Colin Farrell of 2013 is far removed from the 22-year-old Irishman who came to Hollywood in 2000 after appearing in the BBC series Ballykissangel and a few independent films in Europe. With the carousing that threatened to derail his career behind him, he is a thoughtful and modest father of two who no longer drinks and has found peace with himself. "I’m an actor who has a lot of choice in his life. I only realised fairly recently how ridiculously uncommon and privileged and decadent it is to have that level of choice." With success there also come other responsibilities. Rather than just take the work, he now has to consider whether the film will be a success. "You have to put into the mix as many factors as you can – the directors, the genre of the movie, and all of that." It is still an art to select the right film: "There are so many contributing factors for the result of a movie – God, even the blowing of the wind is one of them." His latest movie, Seven Psychopaths is written by Martin McDonagh who also wrote the Golden Globe-winning In Bruges. A low budget affair, it is very different from his previous movie, the remake of sci-fi blockbuster Total Recall. So how does he adjust to these two contrasting genres?

"One is something you can relate to and find something in the script that keeps you interested for a four-month shoot. The other is completely for the heart and passion of it. What I like about Seven Psychopaths is that it pokes fun at the myth of the writer, while simultaneously being sharp-witted." Ironically, while he has reconnected with his work, he is no longer defined by it as he was when he was younger. He says of his acting: "I have a newfound respect for it and I love it, but at the end of the day the other things in my life that are on the personal side are the ones that really mean a lot more." Colin Farrell has learned much from the extremes of his younger self and looks back at how he has changed. "The Colin Farrell at 15 was suspicious of certain things and dynamics in the world and society, of behaviours and interactions with people, and all that jazz. He didn’t know how to disassemble them or articulate them or understand them at all. But he did that eventually – he burst the bubble and discovered understanding of a more general human experience." b

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FEATURE

DR ROHAN WEERASINGHE

WATCH DR ROHAN WEERASINGHE TALKS TO BERNARDO MOYA IN THE BEST YOU VIDEO INTERVIEW

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#TheBestYou


Dr Rohan Weerasinghe Engineer turned personal development expert

Dr Rohan Weerasinghe, author of Turning Points, reveals how he learned to take financial control in his life – by doing the things that made him feel most alive. He tells The Best You there's a system to it we all can learn. In the 1980s, when 18-year-old Rohan Weerasinghe's students friends were out partying, Rohan was reading about personal development. For Rohan, responsibility came early. His father died when he was just 13. At the funeral his family members told him, "You're head of the household, now. It's down to you." From being a fairly happy-go-lucky boy with a love of sport, he began to really "get his head down" and work. At the time, he saw success in simple terms. "My mum worked so hard I think I adopted a model of, okay, success is basically just work. I saw my mum working two jobs a day to support the family. So my ethos was very much head down, work as hard as you can. Nobody taught me about working smart, it was just work hard." After his A Levels, Rohan was directed by careers advisers to study engineering. It wasn't what he wanted to do, but his careers teachers weren't interested in finding out about his passions. So, Rohan decided to study civil engineering, since it would give him a chance to see the world.

He strayed a little at university, until an older friend gave him a "kick up the bum" and encouraged him to work harder, saying: “There aren’t a lot of people with an Asian background in your profession and you’ve got to stand out.” He got a 2:1 and then went on to be mentored by the world's number 1 specialist for his PhD. "He launched me through a great PhD into a career where I worked as a consultant in a civil engineering company for about five years. It seems an ordinary story, yet there was still another interest in his life. "All the way through my degree and PhD I was going into libraries and reading personal development books," he recalls. "By the time I hit my career with a PhD in my hand my lunch breaks were spent, literally every break, either listening to audio tapes or reading. We didn’t have magazines like The Best You in those days, so you had to go around and scramble for something." The personal development seminars he attended away from work had an impact. In his early thirties he decided to go self employed and run his own consultancy while at the same time being asked by universities to give talks to engineering students. Seeing that the few of them had any life skills, he opted to give them personal development training. "I think there needs to be as part of the curriculum an element of personal


FEATURE

DR ROHAN WEERASINGHE

development, personal evolution, personal growth, whatever you want to call it," he says with conviction, pointing out that the average teacher doesn't know how to teach personal skills like communication, reading people, understanding beliefs and values, or how to articulate and follow a purpose and to set goals. Rohan then augmented his skills by attending a seminar on making money from property, after which he went on to buy 40 properties with the techniques he had learned at the training. Suddenly he had financial freedom and was no longer trading money for time. Unlike his early days, he had learned to work smarter, not harder.

#TheBestYou

My ethos was very much head down, work as hard as you can. Nobody taught me about working smart, it was just work hard. This gave him the time to do more of what he wanted. Realising giving trainings made him feel most alive, he started to speak about what he'd done. And the interesting thing was that his combined skills of teaching about property and teaching delegates how to change their ideas about themselves were a powerful combination – helping people

Buy Dr Rohan Weerasinghe's book "Turning Point : A 6 Step Process for Transforming Your Life" from www.thebestyou.co

address their beliefs about money and themselves, as well as showing them how to become wealthy. From these trainings, his book Turning Point was born. So, why the title? "People who have had financial difficulties, who have been made redundant; anything that happens to somebody results in a turning point," Rohan explains. "You meet somebody five years later and they say, ‘Ah, that was my turning point’. I wrote the book because I don’t believe people should wait for turning points to occur to them; I think we have the control to create our own turning points." Rohan has developed a system that has helped thousands of people. Now it is available in his book. So, what's in it? "I initially talk about the blocks that hold us back; there’s a repetitive set of patterns, and then a really practical set of tools. It has six steps, all the way through to dealing with your purpose, which is the very end part of the process. So the book is about really taking control and not allowing things to happen to you. Some people say, ‘Well, can it be that formulaic?’ and actually it can be. We go all the way through from beliefs right through to changing your environment, your language patterns, a whole series of different things. It’s a very powerful process." It's been quite a journey for Rohan, with one major message throughout. As he puts it: "Re-educate, re-educate, re-educate." What you learn at school or university may not be enough. Be ready to take new skills on board – some of which will give you freedoms you never imagined. It's spreading this word that now motivates him to train others and drove him to write his book. It's a great message! To find out more about Turning point, go to: http://www.rohanlive.com/books-andproducts/books/turningpoint-book

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THE BEST

YOU

INNER YOU

Connect with the wonderful, special, powerful individual deep inside... Learn new ways to get your mind and body in balance and bring out the rich core of your being... With mind and body in balance, discover the secrets that will enable you to take charge of your Inner Life and become the Best You.

Life Without Limits

TM

5 Tips to Stick to Your Resolutions A third of the way through 2013 and The Best You asks how well you’re doing with those New Year’s Resolutions

From the Horse's Mouth

Equine specialist Candice Bettison guides us through using the power of horses in a therapy that’s sweeping the planet

An Unexpected Gift

Medium and author Dee Weldon-Bird talks about the trials and tribulations in her life that made her who she is

TELL US YOUR INSPIRATIONAL STORY

Inspire others with your personal story of change. Email us at info@thebestyou.co W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO 15


INNER YOU: THE BEST YOU

Tips to stick to your New Year’s Resolutions Four months into the year, and many of us have probably already started slipping on our New Year’s resolutions. The Best You has come up with five tips to help you stay on track.

B

eing the self-bettering person that you are, you no doubt made a list of the areas in your life where you want to improve at the beginning of the year. But they say that life gets in the way, so while you may have had the best of intentions when you wrote “Lose 20lbs” on your list on 1 January, the truth is that in the last three months life has probably gotten in your way. Here’s how to get back on track:

MAKE IT PUBLIC No matter what your resolution was – to stop smoking, learn a new language, or lose weight, studies have proven that if you tell other people about your intentions, you are much more likely to succeed. If people know what your goal is, they will ask you on a regular basis how it is going, and nobody wants the embarrassment of having to say “I haven’t done anything about that yet.” So, tell your friends, tell your family, tell people you have just met for the first time. Become known as the person who is trying to stop smoking or whatever your resolution is. If it becomes part of your personality, it will be much more difficult to ignore it.

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#TheBestYou BE REMINDED DAILY This will be easier to do once you have made it part of your personality because other people will be reminding you, but it’s important to remind yourself as well. So if you have a whole list of resolutions, dust off that list that is probably languishing in the back of some notebook and put it somewhere you will see it every day. The best places for this are on your fridge or on your bathroom mirror. The problem with this tactic is that the list may become part of the scenery – just something else that you see every day and ignore, like that empty shampoo bottle you keep meaning to throw away, or that cheesy fridge magnet from your sister-in-law that says “Why try so hard to fit in when you are born to stand out?" So every couple of weeks, rewrite the list on a brightly coloured sheet of paper and replace the old one. That way you’ll keep seeing it, and rewriting it will help engrain the message in your mind.

TAKE ACTION There’s no point in making New Year’s resolutions if you’re not even going to try to accomplish them. Take action as soon as possible. If your New Year’s resolution was to learn a new language, go online now and enrol yourself in a course. If you don’t take action, it will never get done. You are the only person who can make it happen, so get started!

SET SHORTER-TERM GOALS When you give yourself a year to do something, you always have that thought in your head saying, “It’s fine, you have a whole year to do it”. So why not give yourself a shorter time to achieve slightly less daunting resolutions? So instead of saying “Lose 20lbs by December” say “Lose 5lbs by April”, then “Lose 5lbs by August”, etc. This will make your resolutions more manageable as well, so you are more like to succeed. This doesn’t only work with losing weight – you can apply it to any resolution. If your resolution was to quit smoking, say “Cut down to five cigarettes per day by April” then “Cut down to two cigarettes per day by August”, etc.

DON’T ONLY KEEP YOUR RESOLUTIONS IN ONE PLACE It’s all very well to have a consolidated list on your fridge, but the more you surround yourself with your good intentions, the more likely you are to implement the changes to your life. If you keep a diary or datebook at work, write your goals down there too. Give yourself little reminders that your shorter-term goals are coming up by saying “Should have lost 5lbs in one month from today”. That way you aren’t caught off guard when you suddenly realise that it’s April and you haven’t lost any weight yet.

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#TheBestYou

INNER YOU: CANDICE BETTISON

From the horse’s mouth Candice Bettison Horses have often been described as noble creatures, and Equine Specialist, Candice Bettison, tells us how we can learn from their nobility.

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A

s an alternative therapist to both humans and animals, I find it extremely rewarding and therapeutic to work with animals. We can learn so much from them and their behaviour, especially horses.

I was born in Cape Town, South Africa, and was surrounded by horses from a very young age. I moved over to London when I was 19, shortly after my horse that I had in Cape Town had to be put down. I then got into Reiki when I was in my early twenties and studied to be a Reiki Master. Reiki is also used with animals, so naturally my interests guided me towards training as an Equine Reiki Therapist. After living in England for eight years and teaching horse riding there for five of them, I decided to move back home. It was then that I got in touch with Montrose Equine Assisted Solutions and started my journey into Equine Assisted Therapy, or EAT. I worked with many clients, often in large groups, to help them come to terms with a range of different issues. I also treated clients on a one-on-one basis, as well as treating horses that were in need of therapy. Montrose, who have seven horses that they use for EAT, have offered me a position


as their full time horse specialist. EAT involves a team of horses, therapists and horse specialists. The role of the therapy team is to act as a guide through a series of processes. Humans can learn so much more about themselves and others by interacting with horses. They are a powerful, therapeutic and effective tool for emotional growth. We can learn from the way that horses mirror exactly what human body language tells them, which tells us about ourselves and our relationship with problems and patterns, allowing us to see where we get stuck in life and the obstacles we need to overcome. Horses in the wild have been prey animal for millions of years, and because of this have developed a communication code. Each horse in the herd knows the responsibilities and place of the others. They live in harmony and know how to have their needs met with strong relationship connections. Horses are sensitive to energies and emotions and are very easily able to reflect back to you what they are experiencing from your body language without any hidden agendas. People can use EAT for a number of reasons, ranging from corporate team building exercises to therapy for overcoming abuse. Most of my experience lies in the arena of addiction. Addictions to drugs, alcohol or gambling. There are no restrictions when it comes to EAT – people of all ages, genders and creeds are welcome and can benefit from it. During the therapy sessions we go through certain games, depending on the patient. For example, when presenting with abused patients, you would organise your sessions around trust building or getting the patient to open up about their fears or issues with trust. As the horse specialist I watch how the horse mirrors the patient’s behaviour, relay the horse’s reaction to the therapist, who interprets this to the patient. Things work a little bit differently when dealing with the larger, corporate sessions. The games you play divide the group into leaders and followers. The games we play with the drug related patients are different again, as we need to be more patient and sensitive. EAT is now being used all around the world, and with international success. It is proving to be a forward-thinking tactic with organisations receiving funding to further their treatments because of the success being shown. The relationship between human and horse goes back so many centuries, and over the years the horse is one of the few animals to have been integral to human life in a unique way. Equine Assisted Therapy has been proven to give therapeutic value, especially from the human-companion and animal interaction side. Learning to trust an animal as big and as powerful as a horse aids in the development and restores trust for those who fear it, or those who have had their trust violated in the past. This is one of the key applications of EAT, along with learning communication, reducing anxiety through animal-human interaction, increasing self-acceptance, decreasing isolation, improving social skills and – probably one of the most important of its roles – rebuilding confidence. b

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INNER YOU: DEE WELDON-BIRD

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#TheBestYou


Dee Weldon-Bird It is often said that without the bad, we wouldn’t appreciate the good. Because of the life Dee Weldon-Bird has had so far, she is especially appreciative of her gift.

I

was born to a mother and father who were both married once before. By the time they had me, they both already had grown children, and having another child was the last thing on their minds.

I was an unexpected surprise. My mother was 45 years old and my father was 63. My dad was in ill health and my mum was mentally ill, so they already had challenges in their lives. The first year of my life at home was hard because of my mother’s illness, which resulted in her being hospitalised from time to time. In addition to this my father was ill with bronchial pneumonia, I was put into foster care for the weekdays and I came back home at weekends. When I turned two-anda-half, my father wanted me back at home full time because between the foster family and my real parents, I was getting confused to who my parents were. Mum’s health had improved, so the big day arrived for me to come home. Soon after returning home my father’s health deteriorated and he was admitted to hospital with bronchial pneumonia from which he later died. Now it was just mum and me. But luckily

the medication she was on was helping and she was able to look after me. Nearly a year after my dad died I experienced the biggest change of my life. It was the morning of 20 December. I went to wake up my mum and sat next to her on her bed. “Wake up mum”, I said but there was nothing. I knew instinctively she had died. I must have cried and cried until the neighbours heard me. They let themselves into the house where they found my mother and me together on her bed. That morning, I had truly stared at death and overnight a new label became me. I went from having a family to becoming an orphan. But what started out as loss and death, which was only the beginning of a spiral downfall for me, would later be my gift in life. I was about to face many trying years ahead. Over the years I had been abused, whipped and starved, but starting out in life with such harsh challenges brought the secret of life inside of me... out of me. I learnt that no matter how hard life is, no matter what is taken from you, no one can harm what is inside of you. When I was at the children’s home I began to see spirits. This seemed normal to me – natural and not scary. It was only when I realised that my friends could not see what I saw that I began to wonder why. I thought it was maybe because I was an orphan that made me different from them.

Recommended reading From Both Sides of the Fence Dee Weldon Bird Shows us that life involves continuous growth.

Growing up, the afterlife and spirit world became a way of life for me. It made up for what I did not have in the physical world. They held my hand when I felt so alone. It was clear to me that I was chosen to have this gift, and I began to question everything around me. How could I use this gift to help others? Would they even believe me? It’s only when you look back on your journey in life that you realise how everything was perfect for what you needed to learn or experience. By having such a colourful challenging life, it helped to observe and learn from it. It’s true that I learnt the hard way but that is perfect because how could I soothe, help or understand another if I had walked an easy path in life? The experiences I went through have helped me for the work I do today – being a Medium – although I prefer the name Messenger, which is why I recently wrote my book – to share my experiences and what I have learnt from them. So if anyone in life feels alone or lost, my hand is held out for them to hold. Remember that no matter how tough things get, love does overcome everything. Never lose sight of love for yourself so you remember to see it in others. Follow Dee on Twitter here: @DororthyBird

The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out now: www.thebestyou.co

Soul Plan Blue Marsden

 A new interpretation of an ancient system of life purpose analysis.

Vianna Stibal Theta Healing Rhythm

 More than just a weight loss book.

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Laughter, sport, humour, travel, love, dedication, joy - these add the sparkle that makes life worth living. Climbing a mountain, giving to others, starting a family, embracing life... What are the things you wish you had done, but haven’t yet? Life is no rehearsal - find ways to enjoy it, whenever you can!

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Are You Covered?

Travelling is very exciting, but in the excitement we shouldn’t forget the important things, like insurance

4 Ways that Humour Heals

Humour expert and author of many books on making you feel less blue, Therese Borchard shows us that laughter is the best medicine

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ENJOY LIFE: THE BEST YOU

#TheBestYou

Are you covered? I

As people start to plan for their vacations in the coming months, The Best You asks if you’re sure you’re covered.

f you're thinking about taking that vacation, a few months out or even a gap year, then you'll be hyped up about the prospect of those amazing places you're going to see and the new friends you'll meet on the way. You'll be thinking about the fun you can have, the cultural experiences and the adventures to be enjoyed along the way. And with thoughts of jabs and itineraries and visas in your mind, it's easy not to pay attention to what should seem like a formality – your insurance. While the large print on many policies looks 24 W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO

great, with millions of pounds worth of cover, it's vital to be aware of the smallprint. Otherwise you may find yourself in foreign climes fighting for treatment, landed with a huge bill... or far worse.

Take some time to read the exclusion clauses on your policy, and if you are travelling in the United States, consider paying for a higher level of insurance. Medical bills in the USA can be astronomical with £45,000 not unheard of for a medical repatriation.

Here are some things to watch out for: Medical cover and coming home While you may think that cover for falling ill or having an accident is the number one reason you bought your policy, insurers often appear to think differently. They will look for an "out", especially if the bill for treatment and / or repatriation is hefty.

For European Travellers, there is reciprocal arrangement for members of the 30 countries in the European Economic Area. Get a free European Health Insurance Card and you will receive the standard minimum care of the country you are travelling in. Although be aware that each countries' charges for medical treatment vary.


A Cautionary Tale

And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind. – Dave Barry

Holly Raper is a British 23-year-old student who went on a dream tour of the world. After taking up farmwork in Tasmania, Australia, Holly was unfortunately involved in an accident while driving one of the farm's quadbikes. Her injuries were severe, leaving her a year on with a minimal level of consciousness. Although her insurance was supposed to cover her repatriation, care and treatment, her insurers refused to honour it in her case for two reasons. Firstly, because it excluded what it classed as ‘manual work’ and secondly because they classed the use of a quadbike as an extreme sport, despite her using it in the course of her employment. She was eventually repatriated through a Tasmanian state scheme, and her parents are now fighting to win the funds Holly will need for prolonged care. Remember, check to see if you are covered for the activities you are doing overseas. If something unusual comes up, ring or email your insurer to ask if you are covered. If you're not, then it may pay you to take out further insurance. Now go out and enjoy!

DID YOU KNOW: Britons spend more than double the cost of an average single trip travel insurance policy on magazines and sweets at the airport. Dangerous Sports While you're away, you might well be tempted to have that adrenalin rush through skydiving, parascending, bungee jumping or whitewater rafting. While these are fairly obviously risky activities that insurers may not cover, others are less so. For example, some types of mountain trekking, dinghy racing and even cycle touring may be excluded. Check, check and check again. Drugs and alcohol All insurance companies will say the same thing about alcohol and non-prescribed drugs.

If you are injured while under the influence of either, they will not pay out. Even skiers having an après-ski often suffer from this exclusion, despite it being very much a part of the culture. Be drink aware. As a guide, many insurers class "excessive" alcohol as any above the host country's legal drink-drive limit. Family Matters In the modern day, family units are far more fluid than they were just a few years ago. A separated couple may share the holidays with their children, but if the children are travelling with a parent with whom they don't normally live, then they may not be covered.

It's a bizarre distinction, but a very real one. If you're travelling with kids, read that policy again. Pre-existing Health Conditions You must tell your insurer if you have a pre-existing medical condition. If you don't disclose this information and you have to claim, your insurers may not pay out and you'll have to find the funds for your treatment yourself. Your best bet is to speak with your insurers in advance. They may ask for a premium for your condition, or they may refuse you. Either way, you know for sure where you stand. b W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO 25


ENJOY LIFE: THERESE J. BORCHARD

4

ways that humour heals

Therese J. Borchard Therese J. Borchard is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes. Find out why she believes laughter is the best medicine.

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O

f all my tools to combat depression and negativity, humour is by far the most fun. And just like mastering the craft of writing, I’m finding that the longer I practise laughing at life – and especially its frustrations – the better I become at it, and the more situations and conversations and complications I can place into that category named “silly.”


Here are just a few ways our bodies, minds, and spirits begin to mend with a dose of humour.

Humour combats fear I know this first hand, having sat in a community room of a psych ward watching a video of a comedian poke fun at depression. Like everyone else occupying a chair in that room, I was scared to death… of many things. Scared that I would never smile again. Or love again. Or even WANT to love again. I was fearful of life, and everything it involved. That panic didn’t instantly transform into a hearty chuckle once the psych nurse popped in the funny video. But the climate of the room was noticeably different. Patients began to open up more, to share some of the details they had left out in the prior group therapy session. Humour disengages fear because it changes your perspective: of the past and of the present. The traumatic childhood episode loses its tight grip on your heart if you can place it into the “ridiculous” category of other stories from the past. With a playful perspective, you can remove yourself from the marital problem that has you debilitated with anxiety. Laughter forces some much-needed distance between a situation and our reaction. We all would do well to follow the advice of Leo Buscaglia: “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. And swing!”

HL “L AUG

Humour comforts Charlie Chaplin once said, “To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain and play with it.” I suppose that’s why some of the funniest people out there—Stephen Colbert, Robin Williams, Ben Stiller, Art Buchwald – have journeyed through periods of torment. There is an unspoken message hidden within a chuckle that says “I promise, you’ll get through this.” Just like the comforting hug of your mom when you were three. In fact, New York City’s Big Apple Circus has used humour to console sick children since 1986, when they started sending teams of clowns into hospital rooms with “rubber chicken soup” and other fun surprises. “It’s for the children, yes,” explains Jane Englebardt, deputy director of the circus, in an “American Fitness” article. “But it’s also for the parents who, when they hear their children laugh for the first time in days or weeks, know everything’s going to be okay.”

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Humour relaxes Like any exercise, laughing relaxes you, and works against chronic stress that most people wear on the shoulder. Mehmet C. Oz, M.D., a heart surgeon at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University Medical Centre in New York City, explains why this is so in a 2005 Reader’s Digest article: When you push any engine, including your body, to its maximum, every once in a while it slips a gear. The ways the body manifests that are: irregular heartbeats, high blood pressure, and increased sensitivity to pain. When people use humour, the autonomic nervous system just tones down a bit to take it off high gear, and that allows the heart to relax.

Humour boosts the immune system Whenever I prick myself accidentally, I tell a joke, and my finger doesn’t bleed. Well, not exactly. But if you are laid up in bed with a terrible strain of the flu that your four-year-old brought home from her play date yesterday, try to find an itsy-bitsy thread of humour in your situation, and you’ll be back to work in no time. Or, better yet, dwell in the misery and stay away from the cubicle longer. In 2006 researchers led by Lee Berk and Stanley A. Tan at Loma Linda University in Loma Linda, California, found that two hormones – beta-endorphins (which alleviate depression) and human growth hormone (HGH, which helps with immunity) increased by 27 and 87 percent respectively when volunteers anticipated watching a humorous video. Simply anticipating laughter boosted health-protecting hormones and chemicals. W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO 27


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THE BEST

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BOOK REVIEWS

Great reading, viewing and listening to empower, entertain, enrich, delight and enhance. The Best You rounds up classics and new books and media products that will make such a positive difference in your life

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“Lord! When you sell a man a book you don't sell just twelve ounces of paper and ink and glue – you sell him a whole new life. Love and friendship and humour and ships at sea by night – there's all heaven and earth in a book, a real book.”

Christopher Morley

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BOOK REVIEWS

From Both Sides of the Fence: The Gifts in Ut Dee Weldon-Bird When Dee's parents died suddenly and she became an orphan, the shock was overwhelming. Her future unknown, Dee was about to begin a harrowing yet insightful journey of self-discovery and identity. This book is the account of her experiences, and the questions that arose for her. Why are we here? What is life about? Where are we from? Written with honesty and a unique, personal perspective, Both Sides of the Fence: The Gifts in U shows us that life involves continuous growth and that no matter how difficult our challenges, no one can take the love you have for yourself away. This was shown to Dee after her mother's death and proves how strong love is. It's a belief she holds close to her heart and guides her in her work as a medium. “Dee's book shows us that life is far more colourful than we can imagine. It chronicles Dee's life, from a tragic childhood, to the person she is today, and teaches us that we can overcome anything life throws at us! From Both Sides of the Fence: The Gifts in U is filled with love, humour and honesty, and reminds us that we are never alone. Dee has an amazing gift. She can connect with everyone, and through herself and her guide, can teach us that love is all that matters" – Kelly Andrews, Liverpool, England Dee lives in Loughton in Essex, England. She hopes that the message in From Both Sides of the Fence reflects the gifts in U.

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“I have always been sceptical of after life or psychics, however, I had a free question reading. Since then I have been intrigued.” – Emma Pugh, Amazon W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO 31


BOOK REVIEWS

Trying to get Pregnant (and Succeeding) Marisa Peer

In her fantastic book, Trying to Get Pregnant (and Succeeding), Marisa Peer gives you the tools to get pregnant quickly and easily in a programme that is effortless and rewarding. Marisa's tried and tested programme is a natural way to increase your fertility. Her powerful hypnotic language and effective techniques mean that just reading the book enables you to change negative thought patterns that have been supressing and blocking your fertility without you knowing it. Marisa uses her revolutionary method of reprogramming the brain to alter any blocks related to pregnancy, birth and motherhood. Addressing women with every kind of infertility problem and women who are planning or undergoing IVF, Marisa's powerful techniques, which are not to be found anywhere else, lie in the process of reading the book. Trying to Get Pregnant (and Succeeding) is an exciting book that enables any women struggling to get pregnant to deliver a healthy baby, even if they've been told they were infertile. It works on multiple levels using techniques including powerfully affecting exercises, subtle repetition and straightforward questionnaires to break negative blocks about pregnancy and birth whilst improving your fertility. An effortless process, the reader's progress through the book is a hypnotherapy treatment in itself. Written in the highly engaging style she is renowned for, Marisa speaks to you on an extremely personal level and tailors her proven methods in boosting conception to your unique needs.

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#TheBestYou

"Marisa's soothing voice and carefully chosen words instantly took root within my body and mind. I genuinely felt moved." Rachel Goozee W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO 33


BOOK REVIEWS

The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit Therese Borchard

Sometimes when life hands you lemons, it's harder to make lemonade than that cheery notion suggests. In more trying situations, the initial urge may be to use said lemon as a projectile weapon aimed at the source of frustration. The Pocket Therapist is a book for those lemon launching moments in life. In this compact volume, Therese Borchard, author of the popular Beyond Blue blog, provides 144 tools and techniques to help address anxiety, fear, conflicts, and a host of situations that can make it tough to slog through life. Examples include: Befriend yourself. Have you ever wondered how long one of your friends would stick with you if you talked to her the way you shout at yourself? Don't go to a hardware store for tomatoes. I don't think I've ever left a bakery infuriated that they didn't have any hamburger or left a butcher shop disappointed they didn't stock any cucumbers. But I have done exactly that in so many of my relationships. From the straightforward, no-nonsense pointers to the less conventional sanity sound bites, each of Therese's strategies is meant to move us one step closer to Ahhh ...and two steps away from chucking lemons. Life is full of difficult situations. The Pocket Therapist is here to help.

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#TheBestYou

“The Pocket Therapist is astonishingly brilliant, filled with insight, advise and wit as no one other than Borchard can deliver.” – Amazon

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BOOK REVIEWS

The Yes / No Book By Mike Clayton

If you find yourself rushing through life, balancing multiple priorities, constantly busy but not really getting anywhere, then you need this book. And you’re not alone. Most of us at some point realise that we have not been focusing on the things that matter. To please others or assuage our own guilt, we’ve ended up saying yes to doing things that are both time consuming and often counterproductive. So if you find yourself saying “I need more time”, don’t turn to time management techniques – they won’t deliver. But The Yes / No Book will. It delivers insights and practical techniques which enable you to take control of your decisions, become less stressed, less busy and much more productive. It will give you more time to focus on what matters because you’ll know exactly what to say yes to, when it’s best to say no and how to do both with confidence. Now you can invest your time in doing all those important things that further your career, your business, your reputation and your goals.

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#TheBestYou

“I should now be able to say 'No' to work, and this book has given me useful insight from someone who has been there too.” – Amazon

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BOOK REVIEWS

Turning Point: A 6 Step Process for Transforming Your Life Dr Rohan Weerasinghe Are you ready to create a new Turning Point in your life? Have you ever looked back over time and noticed that there were certain turning points that literally changed the direction of your life? For most people, these turning points are created by circumstance and without direction. In this life-changing book, Dr Rohan Weerasinghe will show you exactly how to create and direct your own turning points whenever you choose to. You will be guided through a Six Step Change Process that can be applied to any area of your life, from health to relationships and from money to career. You will also be given practical, powerful tools that will enable you to: identify exactly whose values you are living by, create a completely new financial template for your life, inject more health and vitality into your life, discover the seven blocks that crush positive change, focus in on your true life-purpose, find the critical point of contact between intent and attraction, discover the recipe for creating lifelong fun and passionate relationships. A 6 Step Process for Transforming Your Life.

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#TheBestYou

“ Rohan's hard-hitting, no-nonsense approach will lead you to examine yourself and your life in detail like you probably never have before.” – Amazon

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BOOK REVIEWS

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What do you want to be remembered for? What are your relationships like with those around you? How does life treat you - and how do you treat your life? There is so much good in you. Enrich your life with the passion you feel and the connections you make.

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Holding onto the Magic Flames flicker, but The Best You offers some advice to get them burning bright once again

Maybe Baby

Fertility guru, author and mum tells how the power of positive thought can give you the family you want

Caught red-nosed!

Red Nose Day celebrates its 25th birthday this year. The Best You takes a look at the last quarter of a century

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LIVE LOVE LEGACY: THE BEST YOU

Keeping hold of the

MAGIC “Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.” Louis De Bernieres, Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

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"Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving." And as Dr Iannis goes on to say: “Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement... it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body... That is just being ‘in love’, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

The wife in a couple is unhappy and complains to her husband that he never says he loves her.

So what else is important to keeping your love alive? When you find someone that you can really enjoy those years with, that is something worth truly worthwhile.

Just taking his wife's request literally and telling her he loves her would have got his message across. Meanwhile, the wife might have asked the simple question of herself why does he buy me flowers every week?

For many, the number one thing that helps love stay strong is a sense of humour.

T

his is a beautiful picture of how love works from Dr Iannis in De Berniere’s classic, but for many people there are going to be bumps along the way that might start to put a strain on those entwined roots. So, how do keep the magic in your relationship when you have money problems, illness or stress to deal with? Many people will tell you that having a great sex life is part of the answer. But it certainly isn't everything if you want to have a rounded and joyous relationship.

Laughter is one of the great forces that bind us together, and it's truly sociable. When people laugh in a group they often seek to catch each other's eyes. It's a shared moment that unites people in a feeling of release, relaxing the body and relieving physical tension. What's more, it release endorphins into the bloodstream, which promote an overall sense of well-being. Having a conversation with someone about what was previously a “touchy” subject after a good laugh, and just laughing with each other brings that sense of shared well-being and optimism to the relationship. Add to the mix a little bit of attention. It might seems obvious, but paying attention to your loved one is really going to help. It's not only what they are telling you, it's how they tell you, too. I remember hearing one trainer in personal development talking about the different channels that people communicate through.

"But I do," the husband replies, exasperated. "When?" asks the wife. "Every week. I buy you flowers every week."

Speaking of flowers, small acts of thoughtfulness can also make huge differences. Bringing someone their favourite sweets and a cup of tea while they're hard at work, or going for a walk to their favourite park – just sending them a thoughtful text – all these are acts of thoughtfulness that make a person feel cherished and wanted. On the other side of a sense of humour is honest engagement. Hearing someone out without jumping to conclusions or judging them will draw you together. Feeling good because you have shared moments of joy recently will make conflicts easier to dissipate because – at the heart of it – most people are driven primarily by their emotions. The same discussion on a day when you are in a bad mood can go in a very different way to when you're in a good mood. These are just a few of the things to bear in mind. Yes, there may well have been a time when you were “in love”, as Dr Iannis tells us. But love itself is so much more!

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LIVE LOVE LEGACY: MARISA PEER

MARISA PEER In the January issue of The Best You, Marisa Peer, who was voted Best British Therapist by Men's Health magazine, gave women who were trying to get pregnant some practical advice. This month she expands on the power of the mind.

R

ecent statistics show that one in four couples are having problems conceiving, and these numbers are rising all the time. Many women who are not conceiving decide to go for IVF, but there is an easier way. If you want to have a baby, it’s important to realise that the hormones that make pregnancy possible begin in the mind. Your mind influences your body and will always do what it thinks you want to do, so the more visualize yourself as a mother-to-be, the more you use powerful words like “I am super fertile and making grade A premium eggs”, the more your body will act off these words and image as they are a direct instruction to your body to make a baby and carry it to full term. I truly believe that any healthy woman can have a baby – all you need to do is simply programme your mind to boost your fertility. Using NLP techniques, you are able to hugely increase your ability to get pregnant, make a perfectly healthy baby and deliver it easily. Our bodies are designed to make a baby, carry our children to full term then deliver our babies naturally. The body will do that without any help from you, but it will do it so much better if guided to do so using specific language patterns and images. Unexplained infertility and secondary infertility usually means that the doctors have not found anything to prevent you from having a baby and often it is a metal block that is causing the infertility. Diagnosed problems can be overcome by using hypnosis, and if you are having IVF, you can use NLP techniques to increase your IVF success rate by visualizing each procedure and every medication taking you closer to your baby. It is important to visualise yourself as a mother and to accept yourself as a parent. When parents are very close to adoption, they begin buying baby things as opposed to avoiding the baby aisles and baby shops. It cannot be a coincidence that so many women get pregnant naturally after adoption, or after an IVF baby. It occurs because finally they accept, and see themselves, as a mother.

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#TheBestYou Did you know? Women with only one ovary have eggs that are so smart that they swim to and then travel down the alternate fallopian tube every other month. See your baby’s presence everywhere… The cot in the baby room, the baby bath and all the baby products in the bathroom, the highchair and the buggy in the hall. Take the baby on a tour of your house. Show it how wanted and loved it is. Stop worrying about not getting pregnant and start thinking about how you are a wonderful, loving mother. Think about how you are great parents, and how you bond with your baby immediately. You instinctively know what to do. See images of you and your baby bathing together or snuggled up in bed together. Welcome and celebrate each step to getting pregnant. End every visualization with the same image of you holding your baby in your arms in your hospital bed. Before and during any medical procedure, such as egg collection or embryo transfer, remind yourself that in nine months you will be in another bed in a similar room delivering your baby. Talk to your baby, and tell them this.

Did you know? Infertile couples are asked to use birth control for up to three years after adoption due to the high statistics of adoptive parents getting pregnant. One of the best getting pregnant tips I can give you is to go down the baby aisles in the supermarket and into the baby shops, and plan all the things you will buy. Touch, smell, and feel the items. Look through baby catalogues, and plan your baby’s room, wardrobe, and nursery. Buy some socks or a little hat as faith that your baby is on its way to you. Talk to your baby every single day. Welcome your baby into your womb, into your home, into your life, and into your heart. Send love to your baby; let it know how much you want it. Describe to the baby all the things you will do together and as a family. Show your baby that it’s wanted even before you get pregnant. When you have sex, imagine your body acting out how to get pregnant. Imagine a perfect egg drawing a perfect sperm towards it, perfect fertilization taking place, and your fertilized egg becoming a foetus, implanting securely in your womb, and growing on target for nine months. You can use a book such as Life by Lennart Neilsonn that shows you this in beautiful detail. Your egg is intelligent. It contains a life force all its own, and it knows exactly what to do at every stage of conception. If you see images of conception then instruct it, command it, and rehearse with it what is to happen, your egg will do it. b

FEEL THE FEAR My life transformation began some years ago. My marriage had come to an abrupt end and I found myself at 44, living on my own for the first time. Although my personal life had taken an unexpected turn my career was still on track having notched up 12 years with a successful IT company and consistently taking steps up the corporate ladder. The ‘freedom’ of being single presented fantastic opportunities to build a relationship with myself, something I hadn’t realised was fundamental for my personal growth and happiness. I became a self help junkie! Weekends taken up with workshops, evening spent surfing the web or reading. I may even have become a tad boring to some! As I grew my beliefs were taking a battering, one of them being ‘no pain, no gain’ – why was I working long stressful hours in a business I had no passion for? What were my pay offs and were they still as attractive now as they had been? It was then that I came across a book that had been sitting on my shelf for nearly 20 years, an old birthday present that had lain untouched, but it was now asking to be read - Feel the Fear... and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. Wow, how did the author know about dilemmas, my fears and me? It was there in black and white, my reasons for staying stuck in my career ‘comfort zone’ – who am I if I don’t have a job title, who will want to know me if they can’t suss out my life style by my business card? I might have bad days in the office but at least I knew what ‘bad’ was so it was safe and reassuring. I read and reread the book and decided to Feel the Fear... and Do It Anyway, whatever happened I would handle it! The day I left my job I felt this amazing lightness which hasn’t gone away. I have no regrets. My passion for the teachings of this book led me to set up a business delivering life and business changing programs based on the tried and tested strategies.

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LIVE LOVE LEGACY: THE BEST YOU

Caught Red-Nosed After a record breaking night in which ÂŁ75 million was raised for charities in Africa and Britain, The Best You looks back over 25 years of Comic Relief.

E

very other year at the end of another British winter, as people begin to grumble less about the cold and look forward to the spring, a sudden burst of colour appears in little buds throughout the UK. No, it's not the green shoots of spring. These balls of colour don't appear on trees and plants, but on people's faces as Red Nose Day arrives. Now celebrating its 25th birthday, Red Nose Day grew out of a philanthropic attitude that was the counterbalance to Thatcherism. Band Aid and Live Aid in 1984 and 1985 had helped millions in starving Africa to become self sufficient when rock stars in Britain and America joined forces to produce first a single and then a 16 hour concert that was beamed around the world. In the same year as Live Aid, Comic Relief made its first harrowing report on Christmas Day from a refugee camp in Sudan. It set the scene for comedians with a conscience to bring in money to help the starving in Africa. Four of the founders were comedian Lenny Henry, scriptwriter Richard Curtis, news reporter Michael Buerk and homelessness charity founder Jane Tewson. The first broadcast from among the starving from Michael Buerk laid the path for Red Nose Day, which followed two and a bit years later. So it was in 1988 Britain's comedians went on 46 W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO


DID YOU KNOW:

 Photos by: Trevor Leighton, Joseph Sinclair, Ben Gold, johnwrightphoto.com

Red nose day did you know: The First Red nose day was held on Friday 5 February 1988 with the Slogan: "The Plain Red Nose", and raised £15million.

air on the BBC to prove that comedy was "the name of famine relief. But the fact of the new rock 'n roll" in more ways than one, with matter is, that the money that is raised – the broadcast of the charity appeal show that and which also goes to good causes in the was held on what was to be called Red Nose UK – is reported on two years later during Day. the following show, leaving those who have donated with a warm feeling "The The team was learning as that they have helped to make a total for they went along. How difference, somewhere in the the last Red Nose could such a show work? world. After all, would the Day was over £104 public stomach yet more This year, so far, Red Nose million, taking the harrowing reports from Day raised over £75,000,000 total to raised to £610 on the night, with more money across Africa, combined with comedy from well-fed due to come in from events all million" stars back at home? It could around the world. Stars such as have been a disaster, but the singer Jessie J have followed the British public knew that the show's old tradition and shaved their head, other heart was in the right place and they began stars from every field have appeared on the to pledge money on the phone. By the end of show and teased donations from the public the show, Red Nose Day in its first year had while this year comedian Mark Watson raised raised £15 million to go to good causes. over £42,000 by holding his own 25-hour It was then that Red Nose Day took on a comedy marathon. life of its own. People all across the country began to organise their own events to feed The Red Noses themselves have taken on into the good causes. How many men have numerous incarnations, sprouting hands, feet, shaved their beards, heads, legs, chests hair, and developing squeaks when squeezed or other parts of their anatomy in aid of a in different years - every sale making money good cause may never be known, nor how for charity. many custard pies have been thrown in the The total for the last Red Nose Day including

later donations was over £104 million, taking the total to raised to £610 million – this year's money looks set to take the grand total raised to somewhere in the region of three-quarters of a billion pounds. That achievement and the ongoing help Red Nose Day gives to some of the world's most disadvantaged shows that comedy and laughter is serious matter. Best You magazine salutes the British public, the stars, comedians and private individuals who have made that amazing record possible. b

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The Value of PLAY Playing with your children isn’t only about spending quality time with your family. Many games that children come up with are important for teaching them skills and dealing with situations.

S

ome parents look forward to getting home from work in the evening and spending a good few hours on the living room floor building blanket forts with their children. But other parents find this to be a tedious chore that just results in a messy lounge and achy legs from sitting on the floor. But playing with your kids isn’t just a way to keep them entertained until bedtime. They need to play games for their own social development. It teaches them all types of skills, such as problem solving later on in life. Sandra Russ, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Case Western Reserve University who specializes in children’s play says, “Children who engage in fantasy play in first and second grade are the most creative problemsolvers as fifth and sixth graders.” According to Russ, preschools are focussing more on academic work than free play than before, so it is up to the parents to make up for this at home. 48 W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO

Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., a psychologist, play therapist and author of Playful Parenting has this to say on the topic: “Play allows parents to enter a child’s world, on the child’s terms, in order to foster closeness, confidence and connection. Playing is how children show themselves to us. It’s also a way to be close and to reconnect after closeness has been severed [by an argument or conflict]. The more we join them in their world, the more

cooperative they will be when we drag them along to ours.” However, it’s important to not crowd your children. According to the Pre-School Learning Alliance, they need time to play by themselves as well. This is how they develop their imaginations and learn to be alone. Watching them play alone can be a great way to get to know what is happening in your child’s life. They often use their dolls or stuffed animals to act out what has happened during their day at school, whether that is good or bad. Especially in the early school years, kids have been known to gather all their dolls and stuffed animals to be the “students” in their classroom, while the child will play the role of teacher him or herself. So watch your children carefully when they play. They could provide some insight into how they are being treated at school. What are you waiting for? Get down to some playtime with your kids! b


THE BEST

YOU

FEEL & LOOK GOOD

Feeling good about yourself makes the joy shine from your eyes and your skin. It makes others respond to you in new ways, and it gives you a whole new outlook on life. Looking good draws others to you and enhances your lives in ways you haven't yet imagined. It's great to find new ways to feel and look good now!

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In Search of Happiness

Gillian Jones gives us some tips on how to achieve happiness. True happiness. Not the sort that comes with getting a new car.

This Charming Man

Makeover queen Nicky Hambleton-Jones gives our gentlemen readers some top tips for elevating their style

TELL US YOUR INSPIRATIONAL STORY

Inspire others with your personal story of change. Email us at info@thebestyou.co


FEEL & LOOK GOOD: GILLIAN JONES

#TheBestYou

In Search of Happiness GILLIAN JONES We all want to be happy. Gillian Jones, founding member and Managing Director of Emerge UK, gives real and practical advice to achieve that goal.

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I

thought I would start with a very important question – a simple question, but one I want you to really think about and, more importantly, answer with absolute honesty. Are you happy? I am not talking about temporary happiness, such as the type that happens when an old friend drops in with a bottle of wine and you laugh about the good times till you nearly cry. I am talking about a permanent state of happiness – a state that comes from loving life, loving yourself and feeling good about your circumstances. Of course there are always ups and downs. We come across problems every day that change our mood and state, but do you generally wake up in the morning feeling

joyful about your life? You would be surprised how many people don’t. Their feelings range from bored or dissatisfied to desperately unhappy, but they are stuck in a place where they don’t feel empowered to make the necessary changes. Those who languish in this state often suffer from low self esteem. If we don’t feel good about ourselves, we often feel we don’t deserve happiness. So, why not take that first step today towards making your life the one that you want? Take an hour and go somewhere quiet where you can just sit and think. How are you feeling? How happy are you really? And if the answer isn’t a resolutely positive one, then what would it take to make you happy? Is part of the reason you feel down attributed to the


Top Tips for Loving Life Here are some great ways to make the most of life fact that you don’t feel in control of your life? Do you feel that others control your timetable, your behaviour, or even your feelings? Control is one of the key things that human beings yearn for, and when we feel we have no control it is easy for feelings of helplessness to envelope us until finally we submit to those who are controlling the situation. Just taking a little control can be the key to helping you feel good about yourself, growing stronger and more able to cope with life. So let’s make a pact now. You only have this one life, and you deserve to be happy, so take a small step today. Think of something that would make you feel happy. It might be help at home, it might be going out with friends one night a week,

Give yourself permission to be happy – why not, it is your life? If people choose to be miserable around you there is no reason for you to join them.

Tell other people how happy you are and how great you feel – your brain will search for the state of happiness and give it to you.

Each morning when you wake up set your “state” to what you want it to be. Write a “to be” list next to your “to do” list (Today I want to be energised and confident….)

Each morning when you wake up set your “state” to what you want it to be. Write a “to be” list next to your “to do” list (Today I want to be energised and confident….)

Be firm about people who drain your happiness. Talk to them about what you want and if they can’t give it to you get them out of your life.

Analyse what needs to happen to make you happy, write a list and do one of the things on it today.

For more tips and blogs visit www.emotionalindependence.co.uk

If we don’t feel good about ourselves, we often feel we don’t deserve happiness. or taking a class. It may even be not doing something. Perhaps you have always felt resentful that you had to spend Sundays with your in-laws, or that you always went where your friends wanted to go, or did favours for other people that you really didn’t want to do. Choose one thing and experiment – see how taking some control makes you feel and do something for yourself. Exercise your rights. You have the right to express your wants and needs – you are equal to every other person on this planet. Do something you really want to do. And if that works, don’t stop at one thing! Make today the day when you start to live a life by design as opposed to participating in the life that others shape for you. W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO 51


FEEL & LOOK GOOD: NICKY HAMBLETON-JONES

Nicky Hambleton-Jones Guys, spruce up your workday grooming routine with expert style and grooming tips from The Make-Over Queen, Nicky Hambleton-Jones.

This Charming MAN

Simple Style Tips The right shirt can work wonders, not only for your own personal confidence but also for the positive impression you make in the office. Zara has a fantastic selection of stylish but smart shirts suitable for the most corporate and informal of offices. Ties are great tools for making a style statement. Even bow-ties are making a comeback thanks to the eleventh incarnation of Dr Who, Matt Smith. Add a new dimension to what you wear to work by popping into your local Marks and Spencer or House of Fraser and treat yourself to a new tie. Leave the all comedy and noise-making ones on the shelf though, and choose something simple and classic. Pinstripes look great with plain shirts, so invest in a good quality, classic shirt like this white one from Zara, ÂŁ29.99.

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Appearance is an integral part of succeeding in today’s corporate world. All it can take is a few subtle changes and improvements to your wardrobe and grooming routine to make a huge difference. Subtle little changes and attention to detail is all it takes most of the time, meaning you can still keep your personal style while maintaining professionalism.


#TheBestYou

A Helping Hand

A shoe-in Mad Men, half-TV show, half-style bible, is starting its sixth season soon and has set the agenda for vintage and classic shoe styling. Think dark tan leather brogues for the office, and blue and white yachting shoes for your day off. And you should never skimp when it comes to footwear – always choose quality over quantity. These brogues from Russell & Bromley are just what the style doctor ordered. And because true style never goes out of fashion, you’ll be enjoying these ensemble completers for years to come.

Working in a corporate environment means that you’re using your hands to communicate a lot of the time, so it’s important to keep your hands in good condition. Make sure you moisturise your hands on a daily basis. The Body Shop Hemp hand cream, £5, is great as it has more of a masculine scent to it. And if you’re in the habit of gnawing at your nails, it would be a good idea to stop. Nail biting is associated with signs of nerves and anxiety and you want to look strong and collected in the boardroom.

Gentle Grooming Looking groomed for the workplace is not a case of making yourself look more handsome or dashing. It’s about looking neat and presentable. We’re not talking about getting your eyebrows waxed or getting your hair highlighted, but there are subtle changes you can make to improve your appearance at work. If you’re a fan of facial hair it’s a simple case of keeping it neat and tidy and keeping an eye out for any stray hairs. If you’re a clean-shaven kind of guy I would strongly recommend that you don’t choose the snooze over the shave. In a corporate environment skin wins over stubble every time. Try the Braun CruZer 6 Beard & Head Trimmer, £37.49

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THE BEST

WEALTH & RICHES

YOU

Wealth [n] "happiness," also "prosperity in abundance of possessions or riches" from Middle English "wele", meaning "well-being". Riches [n] "valued possessions, money, property," Making money and bringing greater wealth to EVERY area of your life...

Life Without Limits

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Risk - And How to Handle it...

Mike Clayton, author and expert on learning to say ‘No’, makes us aware of potential risks and directs us around them

Exciting Times for Business "The CEO Expert”, Roger Harrop, eases our mind during this scary economic climate and assures us it’snot all bad news

ABC of a Purpose Driven Career Looking for a career change? Natalie Ekberg gently guides us towards making a change that’s good for our souls and bank accounts

TELL US YOUR INSPIRATIONAL STORY

Inspire others with your personal story of change. Email us at info@thebestyou.co


WEALTH & RICHES:THE BEST YOU

Risk - And How To Handle It... While there's an element of risk in everything we do, it's the businessman's role to factor it in when it comes to signing that deal or starting that project. Mike Clayton, author of Risk Happens! looks at how to allow room for error in business by doing your research – and being prepared.

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s a teenager, I devoured Isaac Asimov's non-fiction book, A Choice of Catastrophes, which catalogued the ways the world can end. These days there are no doubt more modern books on the subject to amuse yourself on a dull day, but the underlying message still stands: the world is a risky place! Of course, businesses and projects are rarely about to start Armageddon, but the fact is you need to be ready for when stuff goes wrong. The question is: how? Each year since 2002, the Chartered Institute of Management (CMI) and the Cabinet Office have published a survey of business disruptions suffered in the previous year. Here are some of their findings.

The Top Business Threats The CMI report shows that the main threats have stayed changed little in the last few years: extreme weather, loss of IT, loss of people, loss of telecommunications, transport disruption and loss of access to site are familiar challenges for business to face. But joining these higher risks in the 2012 survey are industrial action and school / childcare closures. Now you know, you have no excuse for being caught out by any of these in 2013!

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What to do about threats Whether you are responsible for a project, for business as usual, or your child's birthday party, spotting threats is not enough: you need to do something. The underlying process is always the same and can be adapted to risk management, contingency planning and even business continuity preparations. It consists of five steps.

The Top Project Threats My book, Risk Happens! lists the 10 main threats that cause projects to fail. Of these, the ones I'm hearing of most in the UK are currently: lack of engagement and active support from senior leaders, stakeholders across the organisation holding unrealistic expectations, an over-focus on contract costs rather than a more sophisticated assessment of the balance of risk, cost and value, and an overcommitment of the organisation to more projects and initiatives than it has the resources for.


5 steps to foreshadow threats Step 1: Identify Understand the context in which the threats will arise, the priorities that dominate, and the scenarios that could arise. Use these to identify as many threats as you can: work out what could go wrong. There is a wide range of techniques you can use beyond the familiar (and useful) approach of brainstorming.

Step 2: Analyse How seriously should you treat each threat? Play out scenarios to understand the effects on processes and priorities. Cost these impacts in terms of what matters most to you: cash, delay, reputation, harm, etc. Also estimate the relative likelihoods and the proximity of the threat and combine these factors to prioritise them. For business continuity threats, the CMI report tells you, for example, that over the last three years, on average, 57% of respondents experienced disruptions due to bad weather. If bad weather could affect your business, you have ten months to prepare.

Step 3: Plan If you have any, evaluate your existing plans and either strengthen them or develop new ones to reduce threat levels and prepare your organisation or project for adverse scenarios. Contingency and business continuity plans need to address all critical process areas, like IT, staff, communications, data and core operations.

Step 4: Action Put your plan into action on four fronts: • Manage threat levels and risk likelihoods downwards • Prepare for adverse contingencies • Rehearse continuity and recovery plans • Communicate roles and responsibilities robustly

Step 5 : Monitor and control Exercise your continuity plans and review outcomes. Assess the impact of threat reduction measures. Continually scan for new risks. The diligent process of plan-do-review is your best defence against complacency. By introducing new people to the process regularly, you can get independent views on your work so far and fresh eyes on the threats you face.

Expect the Unexpected Nassim Nicholas Taleb coined the term “Black Swan events” to represent events that are beyond our normal expectations, that have significant disruptive impact and for which convincing post hoc explanations are always available: that is, Black Swans are always predictable in hindsight; but never in advance. Yet we know Black Swans exist, so what can you do?

Prepare for the Unexpected You don't know what Black Swan events to expect in your project, programme or organisation, but you can be sure it is worth preparing for them. So instead of worrying about what, focus on how. Look at how an unexpected incident could affect you, rather than what that disruption might be. How robust is your project or organisation to a set of simultaneous disruptions? And what can you do, to strengthen it?

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WEALTH & RICHES : ROGER HARROP

Exciting Times for Business ROGER HARROP

I

believe that the times we’re in now are some of the most exciting for business – whether you’re a new start-up, the largest corporate in the world, or anything in-between. Everyday we are seeing all kinds of amazing new technology become available, and they are often free. Everyday there are new markets opening up and opportunities for us to be successful. There are some very clear global and market trends which, if we can get our strategy right, represent significant opportunities for growth. Small to medium businesses are starting to run rings around the large corporates. This is because the large corporates have an inertia 58 W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO

What many business leaders consider the most difficult period in their lifetime, Roger Harrop, CEO expert who has spent over 25 years leading international businesses, sees as an opportunity for growth and development. that prevents them from making changes and truly challenging the paradigms that once made them great. I recently digested a global trend analysis looking at world trends through to 2030. There are some key trends that I would suggest every business should have in mind when planning their growth strategy for the future.

We should all be thinking about how we and our businesses could be benefiting from that growth. Our newspapers love to comment on how the Chinese or the Indian growth has stalled but, let’s be realistic, almost no matter what happens, those four countries will be seeing growth significantly higher than anything that will be seen in the so called ‘developed’ economies over that period.

Goldman Sachs have reconfirmed that the socalled BRIC countries (Brazil, Russia, India and China) will be the top economies in the world by 2030, and this research suggests that those economies will grow by an average of 7.9% per annum throughout the period.

Then there’s the “Next 11” growth countries: Mexico, Indonesia, Turkey, South Korea, Bangladesh, Egypt, Iran, Nigeria, Pakistan, Philippines and Vietnam. They are forecast to grow over the period by a, still very attractive, average 5.9% per annum. These 15 countries represent significant


#TheBestYou

Brazil, Russia, India and China will be the top economies in the world by 2030...

opportunities for all of us running business – do you have a strategy to address them? By 2030 energy demand is forecast to increase by 26% and water demand by 53% and there will be a global shortage of both rare metals and food. CO2 emissions are going to increase by 16%, global warming is going to lead to temperatures rising between 0.5°C and 1.5°C and the ecosystem is going to continue to see extremes. We are already seeing amazingly rapid developments of new technologies but this report suggests that we haven’t seen anything yet. The diffusion of technology worldwide is going to be at very high speed. It’s going to streak around the world and people are going to assimilate it, adopt it and use it instantly. Innovation is going to change lives fundamentally worldwide and the “next big thing” will be life sciences. But what does all this mean for our

businesses? Big or small, we need to develop a culture which is able to firstly gain knowledge of the new technology as it appears, be able then to examine it and identify exactly that which may be of use to us, and then adapt it and adopt it extremely quickly. Already we’re seeing this with just the adoption of apps, with the use of very straightforward new technology like smartphones, QR codes and the like. And this is no longer country, wealth or economy dependent. A friend of mine in Texas has all his graphic design and literature designed by someone in Vietnam. What you are reading now has been transcribed for me by a man in Nairobi. We’re seeing this more and more. There is talk now about “Silicon Savannah” - an area of Nairobi where ground breaking new software development is happening. No

longer does new technology have to emanate from California, Tokyo or super computers. All that’s needed is bright people with access to broadband. The forecast is that by 2030 55% of children in the world will be in secondary education, the gender gap will be narrowing and finally, but absolutely fundamentally, there will be a war for talent. Demand for talented people will exceed supply from now through to 2030. This requires us to take action now. Success depends on business leaders spending more time than ever before looking over the horizon, challenging everything and mapping out a strategy for their business that brings true success because of rapidly changing trends rather than despite of. b For more information on Roger, visit www.rogerharrop.com W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO 59


WEALTH & RICHES: THE BEST YOU

ABC of a Purpose

Driven Career Change

Natalie Ekberg They say a change is as good as a holiday. Natalie Ekberg shares her views on making the most important change of all.

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eople are driven to change their career for many reasons. It could be a desire for a higher salary, not getting along with the boss or the colleagues or boredom, to name but a few.

However, there is another reason that people change their careers, and it’s potentially the most legitimate reason of all, yet very few allow themselves to even mention it. That reason is “looking for purpose”. The road to finding your purpose can be rocky. After all, we have been led to believe that jobs are something we “must have” and as long as we don't hate them, we can and

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should manage. Yet there are probably moments when you feel there is so much more that you can do. Listen to that inner voice; it is your purpose trying to get your attention. It is the “one you want to be” trying to shout louder than the “one you think you should be”.

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week." - H. Jackson Brown


#TheBestYou

Every little step you take For a successful career change, I recommend you implement the following steps: Establish clarity of what your ideal job or business looks like. Upgrade or develop the skills needed for that particular job/business. Set up your environment in a way that supports you (yes that means the people around you too). Set up your environment in a way that supports you (yes that means the people around you too).

In order to respond positively to that urge, three things need to happen. It’s what I like to call the ABC of a Purpose Driven Career Change.

Work on your mindset. When you start to believe, you are half way there!

1. Allowing. You need to give yourself permission to pursue a completely new career; the one that is more in line with what you believe is your life purpose. 2. Believing. You need to start believing that you can become super successful and make a living out of that career. 3. Conquering. You need to roll up your sleeves and go get it! When working your way through these steps, it is always important to consider the “domino effect” of such a change. What else in your life will need to be adjusted – in what way will other aspects of your life be impacted? It is helpful to think all this through before you start taking steps towards your career change. You will feel better prepared and your fear should lessen. Begin with these steps and follow up with the complete career transition plan. Your life will never be the same.

Recommended reading John Richardson Step-by-step Guide to Setting Up and Managing Your Own Coffee Bar  You will produce the greatest coffee and sandwich in your area.

The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out at www.thebestyou.co

Edgar H. Schein Career Anchors: Self Assessment

James Reed Put Your Mindset to Work

 A more complete Facilitator's Guide that includes job/role analysis.

 This is the first step-by-step guide on how anyone can develop Lombardi-like leadership skills W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO 61


WEALTH & RICHES: THE ROCKY ROAD TO SUCCESS

Byron Katie

Mikhail Gorbachev

Detachment and Truth

Openness and fairness

Byron Katie is one of those great figures in personal development who has made an impact on millions of lives. Byron Kathleen Reid grew up in Barstow, California, 100 miles northeast of Los Angeles. She had an uneventful early life, dropping out of university to marry her boyfriend and raise three children. Then, after the marriage faltered and she divorced, she married into another bad marriage. It was the start of a decline into addictions, anger, overeating, and misery that resulted in constant thoughts of suicide. In 1986 she ran away to a halfway house, where the other residents found her moods so terrible that none would share a bedroom with her and she was asked to sleep in the attic. One morning, it all changed when she had an insight into her suffering. She realised her beliefs caused her misery, not the world "out there". From this insight she developed The Work, a method of simple inquiry that detaches a person from their harmful beliefs. She began to tell neighbours about the change, and to get a following. She has spoken in front of psychologists and academics – always in pursuit of the simple questions that make life worth living. To date, through her website, books and seminars, she has helped millions overcome misery and sadness just as she has, and is one of those people who will be remembered as an extraordinary agent of change.

Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev was the first and last President of the Soviet Union, and will be remember as the man who freed the Iron Curtain countries from slavery. Born in Stavropol Krai in 1931, he survived the 1932 – 1933 Soviet famine that starved to death nearly half his village, including two sisters and an uncle. Both his grandfathers were arrested on false charges in the 1930s, with one exiled to Siberia. A keen advocate of self expression, he introduced glasnost to the country, giving people freedom of speech. He restructured the economy with his policy of perestroika, before negotiating massive nuclear weapons reductions with Ronald Reagan which removed much of the nuclear threat that had hung over Europe in the Cold War. He went on to introduce free elections – the first in the Soviet Union since 1917, and was elected as the country's first executive President in 1990. He withdrew troops from Afghanistan and Mongolia and gave the Eastern Bloc countries the right to self determination. It was a direct result of his policies that led to the demolition of the Berlin Wall, and British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher famously remarked of him: "I like Mr. Gorbachev; we can do business together."With all this change there was bound to be dissent, ¬and Gorbachev was deposed in a coup by hardliners of the old Soviet regime. The move led to the collapse of the Soviet Union. It was the beginning of a new era in Russian history, and it happened because Gorbachev pushed for freedom for the people.

 Byron Katie is a true original and one of the great figures of self help. Through insights into her own suffering, she has helped millions of others through theirs. For this reason, she will be remember as one of the great transformative leaders. – Bernardo Moya

I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer.

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 Rarely does one man make such a massive and direct impact on the lives of others. Throughout his life, Gorbachev has fought for freedom and for fairness. For this alone, he is a remarkable individual. – Bernardo Moya

If not me, who? And if not now, when? Mikhail Gorbachev


The Rocky Road to Success #TheBestYou

Traits you'll need on the way  Bernardo Moya Who are your heroes? @Bernardo_Moya

Marie Curie A determined pioneer The first woman to win a Nobel Prize, the only woman to win in two fields, and the only person to win in multiple sciences, Marie Curie made a lasting contribution to the world. Born in Warsaw in 1867 to a family impoverished for taking part in uprisings against the Russian Empire, Marie studied at Warsaw's clandestine Floating University which taught according to traditional Polish values in opposition to Russia. When she was a child, her sister died of typhus and her mother died of tuberculosis. She made an agreement with her other sister to support her through her education in return for the same, and then took a post as a governess. Aged 24 she studied in Paris, eating little as she faced freezing winters, often fainting from hunger. She studied in the day and tutored in the evening to pay her way. As a graduate, she coined the term "radioactivity", discovered the elements polonium and radium and founded the Curie Institutes in Paris and in Warsaw, still important centres of medical research. During World War I, she established the first military field radiological centres estimated to have helped one million people. Her two Nobel Prizes, in physics and chemistry, were for her work with radioactive substances, and she went on to become the first female professor at the University of Paris (La Sorbonne). Her pioneering work in radiation came at a cost. The radiation was eventually to kill her.  Her work overturned established ideas about science and gave the world a weapon in the form of radium with which to combat cancer. She paid the ultimate price in the service of mankind. – Bernardo Moya

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.

Rudolf Steiner Dedicated to Freedom and Improvement Philosopher, educator, architect and artist Rudolf Steiner was born in Austria in 1861, the son of a stationmaster. At the age of eight Steiner claimed to have seen the spirit of a dead aunt, whom he had no idea had yet died, an event which was to influence his view of the world and mankind within it. At University in Vienna, Steiner had to pay for his fees by tutoring others. All the time, his interests ranged across and beyond his curriculum. He had an interest in everything. With his spiritual leanings, Steiner was dedicated to discovering how the world of spirit could be understood against a scientific background. His later career was equally varied and guided by his spirituality. He wrote important academic works, was a sculptor and painter, wrote plays, developed a new form of speech and dance called eurhythmy and laid down the basis for Chekhov Method Acting. He also designed 17 buildings including theatres and schools, pioneering the use of cast concrete. Furthermore, as an organic farmer and gardener he devised Biodynamic Agriculture which is now widely practised in Europe, North America, Asia and Australasia. As a political reformer, he was attacked and criticised by Adolf Hitler. At his Waldorf or Steiner schools students pursue all forms of knowledge. Essays can include artwork, and students are expected to organise and put on theatrical performances to help them become truly rounded individuals. His legacy continues to live on, with Steiner Education now being the largest independent alternative education movement in the world.  Rudolf Steiner was undoubtedly a genius who influence continues to spread throughout the world. In his own words, his life was dedicated to freedom and he spent his energies pursuing it through many different paths. – Bernardo Moya

Our highest endeavour must be to develop free human beings who are able of themselves to impart purpose W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO 63


WEALTH & RICHES: TANYA FARNKS

Vision Tanya Franks

&

Being successful in the film and television industry means having to stay motivated, even when the chips are down. Professional actress and owner of StockPot Productions, Tanya Franks, tells us how she does it.

I

’m an old-fashioned girl. I like to pen things down before making them digital, so I am using my Stock-pot Productions pen to write this. I had them made in celebration of my creating the company identity twenty years ago, one of the most important things I have done in my life. Through this company

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Wonderment

I produce theatre and film. The future can so often be in the hands of others, especially in this industry, and I find it invaluable to have a creative outlet that is my very own where I bring in the team of people I want to work and play with. Twenty-seven years acting professionally brings with it highs and lows, and staying motivated can sometimes prove to be a bit of a challenge. There are two main elements I use to keep myself driven and ambitious. The first element is wonderment. While growing up I was aware that I actually loved being a child. I didn’t want to leave the shorter version of me behind. Every moment was new, a playful challenge. Now, being an adult, I try to keep that wonderment alive in everything I do, in every person I meet, in all that I see and experience. I feel the wonder of new and fresh approaches of this present opportunity, no matter how miniscule it seems. The second element is vision – the clarity with which I channel the opportunities that wonder brings. In creating a character I envision the person in my mind’s eye, using such stimulus as people watching, art, books, clothes, and reawakening similar

life experiences I may be able to draw on. All of this brings me to the point of seeing the person in my head that I am to play, and therefore feeling theWhat we see in our head and what we feel are completely interlinked. Wonderment and vision, together in their symbiosis, naturally give me the structure to approach every aspect of my personal life and my career. If I feel the wonder and can see the goal as a positive image in my head, then I go with it. Should negatives become apparent somewhere down the line, then I get out as soon as I can, cut my losses (which only increase if you remain unhappy), and open the door to the next positive opportunity. I’ve just got over the flu, and there’s nothing like illness to make you stop, sweat, and ache out the negatives. To give us back the excitement and appreciation of wonderment, and the clarity and thrill of vision again. Check out Tanya’s website at www. tanyafranks.com, or Stock-Pot Productions website at www.stockpotproductions.com Or follow her on Twitter @thattanyafranks


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21ST CENTURY LIVING

The pace of change can sometimes bewilder - but also gives amazing opportunities to meet new people, discover new things and thrive. Bring out the best in you by discovering the latest innovations that will put you ahead of the pack.

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What’s App with Apps?

Tech blogger and gadget aficionado Lakshmi Harikumar tells companies where they should put their money – apps or mobile friendly sites

Every Drop You Take

Being environmentally friendly is a big part of 21st Century Living, and this month The Best You gives you some tips on being water wise

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21ST CENTURY LIVING: LAKSHMI HARIKUMAR

What’s App with Apps? Lakshmi Harikumar Organisations are searching for the best way to stake their claim on the mobile platform. The question they are facing is whether to focus their attention on mobile apps or mobile websites. MobStac’s Lakshmi Harikumar gives us the lowdown on each.

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n January of 2011 Apple’s App Store recorded their 10 billionth app download in just two and a half years. The demand both for high-quality mobile apps and mobile-optimized websites is extensive, in large part because the number of smartphone subscribers who browse the web on their mobile devices has increased 45 percent since 2010, according to a 2011 Nielsen report. So what is the difference between a mobile website and a mobile app? Mobile websites are websites that are accessed through mobile devices, basically optimized desktop websites viewed on a smartphone/tablet etc. Mobile apps on the other hand, are built to perform specific tasks on mobile devices - software applications designed to perform a set of functions. Mobile apps are downloaded by the user based on their requirements, while the mobile website is a necessary development of the traditional website designed to enhance user experience on the move. Many users prefer mobile apps over mobile websites because they are convenient, faster and easier to navigate. They are also a lot more personal than the mobile web. When a customer downloads your mobile app it is because they either want to or feel they already have a relationship with your company or brand. This, in turn, speaks to why mobile apps need to provide their customers with readily available content they engage with frequently, whether it is news, videos or pictures, to maintain a healthy relationship. For the web publisher, one benefit of a mobile website is you don’t have to worry about developing an app to work on multiple mobile devices. Mobile

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websites are accessible on any mobile device the customer is using. Creating a mobile website can help you grow your overall website traffic and thereby your mobile user base - then leading them to download your application. They are great for distributing relevant content optimized for mobile devices thereby generating awareness and building an interactive platform for users. MobStac believes that websites and apps work hand in hand. Think of your mobile website as an introduction of your business and brand to the customer and your mobile app as the ultimate engagement tool you can have with a customer. Mobile websites inform the audience. Mobile apps create a lasting relationship. It is a mutually beneficial arrangement for both.

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oth platforms have unique sets of benefits and challenges. So what does the organisation do to get the most effective mobile presence? The first answer is test the waters and make adjustments depending on how you want your customers to respond to you.

Mobstac recommends the first thing you do in your strategy is launch your mobile website first. Then: • Look into your mobile analytics to understand how visitors are interacting with your website on mobile. • Launch a mobile app for iOS and Android platforms, because they are the most popular mobile operating systems in the market today. • Watch mobile traffic and content consumption patterns slowly and apply your learning to revamp your mobile sites and apps. Take your pick or write to MobStac for a free consultation – info@mobstac.com

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21ST CENTURY LIVING: THE BEST YOU

Every drop you take In a serialised column, The Best You will bring you tips you can use to help the environment, starting off with conserving the world’s most precious commodity… water.

lobal warming, increases in natural disasters, and industries forging ahead as if there is nothing wrong. What's to be done? You could chain yourself to a rain forest or become a sea pirate who intercepts fishing trawlers depleting our oceans, but with a career and a family, who has the time? Fortunately there are other, smaller, less time-consuming ways to take a load off Mother Earth’s resources. Some of them may sound obvious, but the planet is in a state, and people still aren’t doing the obvious. The average Joe still uses more resources than necessary, so here are some tips to help you become an exceptional Joe, or Josephine. In 2008 the UN Population Fund estimated that the world’s population would grow to exceed 9 billion by the year 2050. This rapid population growth puts a significant strain on all of the planet’s resources, especially life-sustaining H2O. With threat of water running out within

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our lifetime, it’s time to seriously start making a conservation effort. We may feel like we don’t need to conserve water in rainy England, as it seems to fall from the sky in abundance all year round, but the truth is that even the United Kingdom is seeing less rainfall than ever before with Britain actually entering a drought in 2012, the worst water shortage in Britain since 1976, according to the Environment Agency. Here are a few ways that you can cut down on your water usage without it affecting your lifestyle:

On the run

Don’t leave the tap running when brushing your teeth. Rinse your toothbrush, then switch the tap off until you need to rinse your mouth. A running tap can use up to nearly five litres of water for every three minutes it runs, and if it’s going down the drain unused, that’s a waste of an element that people are literally dying for.


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Don’t keep it bottled up

One of the largest contributors to the water crisis is the bottled water industry. In the documentary Blue Gold they expose the water wars that are happening around the world. Bottled water companies are buying the rights to the water of many countries and distributing it in large quantities around the world for profit, which messes with the equilibrium of the water supply across the world. So, instead of drinking bottled water, get yourself a water filter and take advantage of living in a country that has free running water. It will save you a fair bit of dosh too.

Hit the showers

It’s common knowledge by now that showers use less water than baths, so use that knowledge for the good and cut back on those long, deep, luxurious baths. If you really do love a bath, make it an occasional event that you treat yourself to maybe once a week and shower the rest of the time. And if you’re already a fan of the shower, make sure you don’t spend longer t han necessary in the shower and install a low-flow showerhead to have the most environmentally friendly shower possible.

No grey area When you take your weekly bath, don’t just let that grey water go down the drain – recycle it. Grey water is water that has been used for cleaning, but can still be used for other purposes, except drinking. This is opposed to black water that cannot be reused, such as sewage. If you have a garden, use a bucket to take that water outside and water your garden with it. Many plants are hardy enough to handle a little diluted soap, so you won’t be doing them any harm. And you will be saving so much water. Next month we’ll be looking at how to save electricity, so be sure to get May’s issue of The Best You. Cutting down on your electricity will really help the planet as well as your pocket.

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The Best You backs worthy causes that help our community

War Child

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ar Child was founded in 1993 by British film-makers Bill Leeson and David Wilson, when they returned from filming the war in former Yugoslavia. Shocked by what they had seen, they raised enough money to return later that year with a convoy and mobile bakery to help provide for the children affected by the conflict. The War Child family soon grew as War Child Holland was formed in 1994 and War Child Canada started in 1998. Their first album Help was launched in 1995 in order to raise money and awareness for the children affected by the conflicts in the Balkans. War Child International is a network comprising War Child UK, War Child Holland and War Child Canada. Together they help children affected by conflict in a total of 14 countries. All three War Child organisations have won prestigious awards for their work and bring expertise to working with children in conflict-affected areas. The War Child family also has two affiliates formed in 2002 – War Child Australia and War Child Ireland – who raise money to co-fund projects delivered by War Child UK, and raise awareness of the effects of war on children. They continue to spread their goodwill, now stretching to Syria. Almost a year ago, after the first anniversary of the Syrian uprising, War Child reported on the brutal impact of the conflict on Syria’s children. War Child called it a war

on childhood and said the situation faced by children was shockingly grave and that the international community was failing Syria’s children and must not continue to fail them in the future. Yet, another year has passed and children are still paying the heaviest price. They have continued to be massacred, raped, tortured, illegally detained and used in combat. They are dying more and more and in larger numbers as unlawful attacks on civilians escalate. And as the situation in Syria spirals towards a full-scale humanitarian disaster and the numbers of Syrian refugees passes the one million mark, children are the largest group in flight. War Child has staff on the ground in Lebanon – where many of the refugees from Syria have fled. Homs is only 25 miles from the Lebanese border, and many families who were besieged in their homes by the shelling and snipers have escaped into Lebanon. Many of the refugees have been integrated with the local community and are staying with families rather than in refugee camps. Being dispersed makes it harder to provide services for them. Yet most fled with little more than the clothes on their backs and now

find themselves needing to pay for their rent and food. It’s a bewildering and scary time for many of the children. They really need a routine and a sense of normality. Spending time with each other in a safe, nurturing environment is a great way for children to cope with the stress and upheaval that’s going on all around them. • So far War Child have established six 'Safe Spaces' in schools in northern Lebanon and are supporting almost 300 children. Our trained counsellors will use art and music therapy as a means of helping the young children express their emotions in a healthy way. • They will help 400 children enroll into schools in Lebanon so they don’t miss out on their education as well as providing catchup lessons to help them follow the local curriculum. If and when it is safe enough for the children and their families to return to Syria, War Child’s projects will follow them back home and help them reintegrate back into their schools and communities. b

OTHER WORTHY CAUSES WE SUPPORT National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) www.nspcc.org.uk

Katie Piper Foundation www.katiepiperfoundation.org.uk

Teenage Cancer Trust www.teenagecancertrust.org 70 W W W.THEBESTYOU.CO

Johnson Beharry VC www.johnsonbeharryvc.com

Bosom Buddies UK www.bosombuddiesuk.com

Children of the Night www.childrenofthenight.org


WATCH WAR CHILD'S VIDEO THAT WAS FEATURED AT THE 2013 BRIT AWARDS


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Our cover story for the April issue is the incomparable and talented Colin Farrell. He gave up life as a drunken playboy and turned it all a...

The Best You April 2013  

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