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THE OTHER SIDE? Are you too self-centered? Are you a ‘me-me’? We go through our day-to-day lives doing what we do, thinking what we think is right, or we focus on our thoughts and deeds. In neuro-linguistic programming it’s defined by the phrase, ‘the map is not the territory’ – in other words the way that we see the world isn’t reality itself. We don’t respond to reality. We respond to our internalised map of reality. How we represent things are our interpretations and these may or may not be accurate.

Think about it, ‘audit’ yourself, listen to your internal dialogue and make sure don’t put your needs ahead of everyone else’s. This month we have plenty of thought-provoking features to challenge all aspects of your life. From an in-depth interview with John Demartini, whose life story is truly incredible, to one woman’s journey from Olympic hopeful to near-death and a return with a radical approach to fitness. We talk with leading author Robert Kelsey about why – despite publishing success – he considers himself an outsider, and how he believes those who do not ‘fit in’ can achieve. Enjoy the issue!

There’s a balance between taking care of oneself and taking care of others, and it’s a problem when one is overly self-centered. It’s also unhealthy when someone chronically puts the needs of others in front of their own. Individuals who have this self-absorption – sometimes termed narcissistic personality – very rarely think they have a problem, and their primary focus tends to be a struggle to preserve their veneer. While the self-absorbed person can have moments of generosity and charm, for the most part they are unaware of your needs or are uninterested in meeting them, even if they are conscious of them. Someone who is self-centered is not necessarily a narcissist, though narcissists are self-centered. So the question this month is this. Are you selfcentered? Do you spend a lot of time talking about yourself? Are you permanently thinking that people aren’t fair with you? Are you a team player? Are you thinking ‘I’ or ‘me’, instead of ‘us’?


Editor-in-chief Follow me: @Bernardo_Moya

To enjoy additional digital content, video and online galleries, download The Best You app at thebestyoumagazine.co Exclusive bonus shots on iPad, iPhone and Android devices

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Bernardo Moya welcomes you to this month’s issue of The Best You



the NSPCC’s Share Aware online safety campaign – protecting our children from digital dangers



A few of our favourite recently published books – fantastic reads to change your life



Where to find the best coaches, trainers and practitioners



Currently riding high at the top of the charts on both sides of the Atlantic, but success hasn’t been an easy journey




Where best to run away the miles

An interview with personal development guru John Demartini, a man who transformed his own life and those of others too



Ahead of her final London Marathon, we take a look at the career of the inexhaustible runner Paula Radcliffe



How one woman’s determination to overcome a major life setback has created a radical new approach to fitness



Psychologist Ben Ambridge explains why you shouldn’t believe everything you hear about psychology




With so much of what we read in the papers being negative, The Best You brings you some good news



Fancy having a go at a marathon? Here’s where to start


Richard Bandler explains how to tackle your greatest fears – with his insight you can be free from fright

22 SAM SMITH How the angelic-voiced star made it to the top

EDITOR/PUBLISHER Bernardo Moya · DEPUTY EDITOR Daska Davis · ASSOCIATE EDITORS Cynthia Phillips and Gail Kingsbury COMMERCIAL CONSULTANT Peter Moore · ADVERTISING advertising@thebestyou.co


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42 KELLY HOPPEN The Dragon’s Den star answers The Best You’s questions


The NSPCC explains how online child abuse is being tackled thanks to its powerful campaign and an army of volunteers


The international designer tells us why she quit the Dragon’s Den, and why design remains her first passion


Jim Aitkins says preparing our reactions can make us stronger


…to be a bird-spotter? We chat with the Banksy of the bird world, Matt Sewell





Natural lifestyle expert Sophie Uliano shares her DIY beauty recipes


Nutritionist Laura Wilson believes an alkaline diet holds the secret to great health and boundless energy


Gill Hasson explains why mindfulness is more than a five-minute wonder, and how it can help us in many ways




SMART MACHINES Will artificial intelligence outsmart mankind? MEDIA DIRECTOR Allan Banford DIGITAL DESIGNER Monica Notarnicola TECHNICAL CONSULTANT Martin Carter


7 easy ways to make your money go further each month


Richard Tyler believes moving out of our comfort zone can make us far more likely to succeed in business





Despite being a successful author, Robert Kelsey says he’s an outsider – here’s how to succeed if you don’t fit in

The Best You looks at people, past and present, who worked hard for their moment in the spotlight




George Zarkadakis shares how artificial intelligence is set to change the way we life our lives


Bryan Szabo reviews the latest gadgets

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is deputy editor at The Best You. This issue, she interviews Kelly Hoppen, illustrator Matt Sewell, nutritionist Laura Wilson, mindfulness expert Gill Hasson, and personal development authors Robert Kelsey and Richard Tyler. “It’s always fascinating to chat with experts across a range of areas and share their advice with our readers.”

BEN AMBRIDGE is a lecturer in psychology and author of Psy-Q: You know your IQ - now test your psychological intelligence. For The Best You, he debunks many of the popular myths surrounding psychology and demonstrates that men and women are actually more psychologically similar than we have been led to think in the past.





is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine, and elite performance and confidence expert. He regularly appears on TV and radio, and his clients include leading names from the diverse worlds of sport, business and entertainment. He is a best-selling author and presenter. @dr_sr_simpson

is an American author. He speaks and trains for corporations and organisations on the topics that he also writes about. He believes that personal growth is not only easier than most people think, but can be fun as well. Visit Jim’s blog, Obstacle Blaster at obstacleblaster. com


is a Canadian-born freelance editor and writer who specialises in helping authors realise their full potential as writers. He believes that everybody has a story that should be told. His appearance on the acknowledgement page of dozens of titles proves that the voice he is helping budding authors to find is a precious thing indeed.


is the renowned co-creator of neuro-linguistic programming and the author of numerous books. This issue, ahead of his series of UK seminars, he shares his techniques for helping people to overcome their greatest fears.



is a Portsmouthbased author who is also an NLP master. He uses skills learned from hypnotist Paul McKenna and NLP co-creator Richard Bandler in his work. For The Best You, he writes about Sam Smith’s journey from child talent to international stardom.




is an Internationally renowned green and healthy living expert. She is the author of the New York Times best-selling, book, Gorgeously Green. She has appeared on numerous shows, including Oprah, Good Morning America, The View, The Early Show, and Access Hollywood.



is a best-selling author, founder and CEO of a successful London PR agency, and co-founder and deputy chairman of entrepreneurs’ think tank: The Centre for Entrepreneurs. He is also the author of What’s Stopping You? What’s Stopping You Being More Confident? and Get Things Done.

@RobertKelsey WSY


is a writer, science communicator, AI architect and digital transformation professional. He says: “The human brain has always fascinated me. I have changed my mind several times with regards to the nature of consciousness, whether it could ever be replicated in a non-biological artefact.”


The Best You is published by The Best You Corporation Ltd, 5 Percy Street, W1T 1DG. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect The Best You Corporation Ltd, policy. The Best You Corporation Ltd accepts no responsibility for views expressed by its contributors. Advertisements and reader offers are not endorsed by The Best You or The Best You Corporation Ltd.

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Connect with the wonderful, special and powerful inside. Learn ways to get your mind and body in balance, bringing out the rich core of your being. Discover the secrets that will enable you to take charge of your inner life and become the best you.

Life Without Limits



For Charlotte Roach, a near fatal accident led her to reconsider her approach to sport


Ben Ambridge debunks the myths about psychology

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ROUSER After her Olympic dreams were dashed, Charlotte Roach channelled her energy into creating a fun way to exercise that also has the potential to become a new global fitness phenomenon


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INNER YOU Three years ago, Charlotte Roach was preparing for the London 2012 Olympic Games. Aged 21, and with mentors including Dame Kelly Holmes, the talented triathlete was out cycling with a teammate on a crisp morning. Everything was perfectly aligned for her participation in the sporting event that the whole country had been waiting for. In a split second, everything changed and Roach almost lost her life when, ahead of her, a cyclist swerved, catching the front wheel of her bicycle. “I remember falling,” she says, “but I never hit the ground.” Instead, she collided with an oncoming Land Rover. The physical damage to her body was immense. Roach was rushed by air ambulance to hospital where she was treated for two punctured lungs, 12 fractured vertebrae, completely broken ribs and collarbone. Emergency spinal surgery and reconstruction work followed, and it was three months before Roach learned to walk again. Dropped by all of her sponsors and with her Olympic dreams dashed, Roach began to slowly repair herself and, astonishingly, within six months pushed herself to compete, finishing fourth in a triathlon. However, the metal work in her spine caused her immense pain and eventually she was forced into a second round of surgeries. In her own mind, Roach felt that she had a debt to repay, and in August 2011 she set off to cycle 16,000km from Beijing to London, through 16 countries, raising almost £10,000 for the Derbyshire, Leicestershire and Rutland air ambulance, which rescued her from the horrific scene of the accident. For most people, the road to recovery would be enough to cope with, and Roach has spoken of the mental anguish that the collision left her with. Her fund-raising effort was immense and while this occupied her focus, upon her return to the UK, she found herself struggling to maintain enthusiasm for her fitness programme. “I found that I felt exercise had become boring and mundane,” says Roach. “The gym was isolating and repetitive, I hated it and dreaded going. I tried classes but I had no rhythm and was constantly going against the flow, so it felt odd. I thought it might be fun to join a sports club, but the atmosphere was so competitive. I figured, if I’m feeling like this, how many other people feel the same? “Kids have got it nailed, they just enjoy being outside and having fun,” adds Roach. “All I wanted was to go out and run around the park with my mates, but as adults we make exercise a dull, repetitive process.”

Roach teamed up with friend, Rosemary Pringle, and together they decided to set up a club where people could drop in and enjoy being active without any pressure or agenda. Rabble Games disguises exercise as team games, such as capture the flag, basket ball and man hunt, that improve participants’ speed, agility, co-ordination and endurance – the emphasis is also firmly upon making friends and encouraging groups to spend time together on other social activities. Roach quit her job at the end of 2013, and in just over a year since Rabble Games held its first session of dodgeball, has attracted more than 900 members over four central London sites. There’s even Rabble X, described as, “bigger, better and tougher than before – same games, same ethos, just harder.” “When we first launched the idea, lots of people signed up but we had no idea of what we were going to do, or a space to operate in. We managed to book our local community centre and we learned the rules to dodgeball online, but the first session went really well,” says Roach. “We ran more games and attracted increasing numbers of members each week. At the beginning we were putting in all of the energy, but now its got its own momentum. All of our classes are outside but even in the winter months, people were still coming. “We’re now in four sites and we plan to open more. We also offer teaching and coaching, and now we’ve got investors so we can move forwards to take Rabble Games to the next level, across the country and even the world.” With all that she has overcome and accomplished so far in life, Roach’s plans for the global growth of Rabble Games isn’t unimaginable. “I just want to have fun,” says Roach. “My own story shows that a plan doesn’t always work out and so I live for now. I went from being an international athlete to barely breathing. I think it’s sad that we put so much pressure on everything in life. Sometimes you just have to let things evolve.” With the invention of a whole new way to exercise and improve our wellbeing, it looks like Roach’s approach has the potential to run and run.

To find out more about Rabble Games, visit joinrabble.com

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Last year, Ben Ambridge’s TED talk challenged the myths of psychology – here he shares his insights and uncovers a few truths about how our brains really work MYTH #1: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

REALITY: Psychologically speaking, men and women are much more similar than they are different. Yes, men are better at maths and spatial perception while women are better at language and multitasking, but the difference is of the order of a couple of percentage points. Pick two men at random, and they will vary much more in their mathematical ability than the average man versus the average woman. Bonus myth: Women are more pain resistant than men. In fact, when exposed to identical pain, men rate it as less intense than women (though, again, the difference is tiny).

MYTH #2: Psychologists use inkblots and dream analysis to explore patients’ personalities. REALITY: While that might have been the case 100 years ago, these days such tests – and the not-even-wrong Freudian pseudoscience that went along with them – have been all but abandoned by mainstream psychology. Today, if a psychologist wants to measure your personality, they will simply hand you a questionnaire. MYTH #3: We learn best when information

is presented in our preferred learning style: visual, auditory or kinaesthetic.

REALITY: There has never been any evidence for this claim, and the few studies that have assessed it directly have found evidence against it. In fact, a moment’s thought makes it clear that the best teaching method depends not on the learner, but on what is being taught. Nobody successfully learns to drive a car solely by watching someone else do it (as ‘visual learners’) or by listening to spoken instructions (as ‘auditory learners’); you need the kinesthetic experience of having a go.


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MYTH #4: People will give fatal shocks to

others if instructed to do so by an experimenter wearing a white lab coat.

REALITY: Most people have vaguely heard

of Milgram’s famous obedience study, but it’s almost always misreported. In fact, participants were explicitly told – and reminded if they asked – that ‘although the shocks can be extremely painful, they cause no permanent tissue damage’. And the experimenter’s lab coat was grey.

MYTH #5: So-called ‘intelligence’ is mainly just a reflection of your education.

REALITY: Estimates of the genetic contribution to intelligence vary from study to study, but are typically around the 50 per cent mark, though the picture is complicated by the fact that the relationship between genes and IQ seems to differ according to social class (caution: this is the percentage of variation between different people – not within a given person – that is due to genes). MYTH #6: You can catch liars by reading their body language.

REALITY: A 2006 review that brought togeth-

er findings from 108 experimental studies and 16,000 participants found that neither the general public nor police officers could detect liars at above-chance levels. The one exception is TV appeals for ‘missing’ relatives where people are quite good at spotting fakers who have murdered the relatives themselves.

MYTH #7: ‘Left-brain’ people are more logical, ‘right-brain’ people are more creative.

REALITY: Most tasks involve both sides of the

brain working together. On average, people use both sides of their brains pretty much equally. There is a grain of truth, however, in the idea that left-handed people are more creative


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and intelligent. Many ‘left-handers’ actually use different hands for different tasks, which reflects a higher degree of interaction between the two hemispheres of the brain; a pattern that is associated with more flexible thinking.

MYTH #8: Sportsmen sometimes have ‘hot streaks’ where they just can’t miss a shot.

REALITY: In most cases, this is just an illusion

caused by selective memory. The pattern of hits and misses is random, but a sequence of successes leaps out at us. Penalty shoot-outs, however, are a bit of an exception. Footballers who play for national teams with a history of losing at shoot-outs (like, um, England) take their shots more quickly, and are more likely to miss.

MYTH #9: Our preferences in a partner are a product of our culture. REALITY: In just about every culture studied,

from the UK and US to Zambia and South African Zulu, men place more importance on youth and good looks, while women prefer older, ambitious high-earners. On average, men like women who are 2.66 years younger than themselves, while women like men who are 3.42 years older.

MYTH #10: Listening to Mozart makes you smarter.

REALITY: The myth originates from a study

which found that participants who listened to Mozart showed a temporary boost on a subsequent IQ test, as compared to those who had simply sat in silence. But follow-up studies have shown that it’s nothing to do with Mozart (or, indeed classical music) per se. For example, people who prefer Stephen King stories to Mozart experience a bigger IQ boost from listening to Stephen King stories than Mozart.

BEN AMBRIDGE is a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of London and the author of Psy-Q. His article, Why Can’t We Talk to the Animals was shortlisted for the 2012 Guardian-Wellcome Science Writing Prize.

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Laughter, humour, travel, love – these are the things that add the sparkle that makes life worth living. Climb a mountain, give to others, start a family, embrace life. What are the things you wish you had done but haven’t yet? Life is no rehearsal – enjoy life every day.

Life Without Limits



We look at the best places to run a race


The Best You brings you positive stories


Richard Bandler shares his insight

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1. LONDON First held on 29 March 1981, the 35th London Marathon was conceived in The Dysart Arms, Richmond by keen amateur runners, John Disley and Chris Brasher. Inspired by the New York City Marathon, the pair set about creating the first event which was run by 6,255 finishers. Now a major sporting event shown in almost 200 countries, a record 37,227 completed the 2012 race.

2. BOSTON Held on Patriots’ Day, the third Monday in April, the Boston Marathon was inspired by the revival of the marathon at the 1896 Summer Olympics in Athens, and was founded in 1897. It is regarded by runners as one of the ‘Big Six’, along with London, Tokyo, Berlin, Chicago and New York City. In 1996, the Centennial Boston Marathon established a record as the world’s largest with 38,708 entrants, and 35,868 finishers.

3. NEW YORK With the exception of 2012, when Hurricane Sandy blew into town, the New York City Marathon has been run since 1970. Originally centred around Central Park, in 1976 the race was extended to take in all five of the city’s boroughs and it is now the world’s largest marathon. Participation is mainly controlled by a lottery system organised by the marathon’s original organisers, the New York Road Runners.


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As the capital prepares to host the Virgin Money London Marathon on 26 April, The Best You casts an eye at the top places to run 26.2 miles


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The first Paris Marathon – also known as the Tour de Paris Marathon – took place in 1896. It was won by an Englishman, Len Hurst, who crossed the finish line in 2 hours, 31 minutes and 30 seconds, winning 200 francs in the process. Participants run from the Champs-Elysees towards Place de la Concorde, finishing in Foch Avenue.

5. ATHENS Reported to be one of the world’s most difficult marathon races to run, the course starts in the town of Marathon and heads uphill from 10-31km, creating an arduous experience for even the most experienced runner. Devised as a joint venture between the Greek Tourist Board and Athletics Association in 1972, the race attracts more than 30,000 competitors.

6. JAMAICA A relative new kid on the marathon block at just 15 years, the Reggae Marathon is possibly the most enjoyable to experience. Participants run alongside the idyllic Caribbean sea, around the North Coast of this beautiful island. The race starts just after 5am, before the sun roars into life. We reckon this is the way to do it if you’re planning to tick a marathon off your bucket list.

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SHARE AWARE Online safety is a key issue in protecting today’s children – here the NSPCC explains how it is working hard to achieve this with its Share Aware campaign We tell our children it’s good to share – but online it’s different. In fact sometimes sharing online can be dangerous. That is why the NSPCC launched its Share Aware campaign, to keep children safe online. Online safety is the biggest child protection challenge of our generation. Parents tell us that it is their main concern for the welfare of their children. And young people tell us they are experiencing all sorts of new forms of abuse via technology. Last year there was a 168 per cent increase in contacts to ChildLine about online sexual abuse. To keep children safe online we knew that a number of different groups had to work together. In October last year, the NSPCC successfully lobbied the Government to make it always illegal for an adult to send a sexual message to a child. We were aware of cases where adults had sent sexual messages to children online and prosecutions couldn’t be brought. We therefore worked with parliamentarians and judiciary to bring about this change and, in December, the Prime Minister announced that the law would be changed. Parents are the other group that we felt could bring about the biggest change to keep young people safe online. We know some parents feel confused by the internet – out of their depth, and out of control – which is a problem exacerbated when their child’s online knowhow overtakes their own. In fact, 62 per cent of parents think their 12-15 year old child knows more about the internet than they do. We wanted to give parents confidence to have open and honest conversations with their children, and to keep parents’ knowledge up-todate about the ever-changing landscape of sites, apps and games used by young people.


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So we developed Net Aware – a new online tool which provides reviews of nearly 50 social networks used by young people. Our panel of more than 500 parents and nearly 2,000 young people looked at Facebook and Instagram as well as the lesser known sites like Habbo Hotel, Secret and Snog. They looked at the suitability of content on these sites and whether it was sexual or likely to lead to bullying. It also reviewed the sites’ privacy settings and the ease of sign up for underage users. To launch Share Aware we created two animations about young people who share too much online, to be used as conversation starters between parents and their children. The first ‘I Saw Your Willy’ tells the cautionary tale of Alex, a young boy whose personal picture ends up being shared with a few more people than expected. We also created straightforward, no-nonsense advice for parents that covers conversation starters, as well as information on privacy settings, parental controls and what to do if your child shares too much online. Since launch the NSPCC’s ‘I Saw Your Willy’ advertisement has gone viral with nearly 3m views to date. As well as being used by parents, police and schools are using it to remind children about the dangers of sharing too much information online. Parents told us that the animations were an excellent starting point for conversations on online safety and the campaign has been supported from a wide range of groups including the British Monarchy, the Home Office, local councils and police. With ongoing news stories of young people exploited and bullied online, our work is far from done and our focus on prevention is a paramount. Share Aware is a campaign that we want to grow and continue to support those who are parenting in the digital age. The internet is a great place for children to be. Being Share Aware makes it safer.



GOOD NEWS GREEN BEANS Ever wondered what your favourite barista does with all those used coffee grounds? A London start-up, Bio-Bean (bio-bean.com), is putting them to good use with a new service to convert grounds to green energy. It is estimated that in the UK capital alone, coffee shops and factories produce more than 200,000 tonnes of waste each year. Bio-Bean collects these and transports the grounds to a local processing plant where they are converted into biomass pellets and biodiesel, which it sells to London firms to power buildings and transport – that’s less landfill, fossil fuel usage and methane production. We raise our coffee cups to that!

BUS BUDDIES Look around you on your morning commute, and chances are most of your fellow travellers have their heads bowed towards a screen. In Brazil, a marketing initiative has been launched to encourage people to ditch their tech and make friends on public transport. Buses have a designated area marked ‘reserved seating for new friends’ – travellers take a seat and wait for another willing person to come along and chat –there’s even a pack of pre-printed post-it notes to trigger conversations. Could be a whole new way to meet your next soul mate.

CREATING A BUZZ We’ve had grow your own, but how about make your own honey? An Australian father and son have created Flow Hive which makes collecting a jar of the sweet stuff as easy as turning on a tap. The idea has raised $5.6m on crowd funding site Indiegogo, making it the site’s most successful campaign to date. With Flow Hive, there’s no need to wear protective gear, take the hive apart or disturb the bees. A sweeter way to enjoy the good stuff.

APPY BABY A clever app has been developed to store baby’s immunisation records in a simple necklace, for use in remote areas where health workers currently struggle to ensure children receive all of their inoculations. Devised by a group of Yale University students, Khushi Baby could help to protect 1.5m babies that die from preventable diseases each year. Trialled in Northern India, the necklace is scanned by a health worker’s smartphone to reveal each child’s health records every time they visit.

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Ahead of his UK seminars, Richard Bandler shares his insight into how we can overcome the phobias that are holding us back


How you work with someone with a fear of heights is different to how you would work with someone with a fear of spiders. But the major thing that I get people to focus on is what’s important. In most cases, the phobias have been made into such a big deal that people think about them all the time, which is such a waste of their energy. I ask them to evaluate how much time they’ve spent worrying about their phobia per day. Even if it’s just a half an hour, then that’s three and a half hours a week. Over ten years you’re going to waste a couple of thousand hours worrying, when you could be having fun. That’s when people start to think ‘enough is enough’. When you get there, you know it’s time for a change.


With phobias, most people are afraid whether the object’s there or not. Just the other day a woman told me how afraid of spiders she was, and she was shaking in her boots while she was explaining to me. I replied: “Excuse me, there are no spiders here. Why are you afraid now?” The truth is, she wasn’t afraid of spiders. She had a huge picture of spiders in her head, and she could barely look at it. She just felt the way she would feel if this huge, imaginary giant spider was there.


I have people look and see themselves holding a spider in their hand, and I say: “Do you want to be this person? Wouldn’t you like to be this fearless person? When you look at that don’t you feel, I want that?” It’s all about choice and the direction they want to be headed.


Curiosity beats the alternative. If you’re not curious you’re not exploring the world you’re living in. The fittest organisms are the ones that adapt – and adaptation requires curiosity.. Fear is the absolute opposite of curiosity. It’s where you don’t look at things, you don’t find out what works, you don’t find out what’s dangerous. The great thing about curiosity is it blasts fear out of the way.


Most height phobics get near the edge and start making pictures of themselves jumping off. And that’s why they have fear. If they stop making those pictures and instead make pictures of themselves being relaxed and comfortable and staying away from the edge they’ll be a lot better off. If it’s done in just the right way, it starts to happen unconsciously and automatically.


To reverse fear, I get people to find the way a direction feels like it’s spinning in their body. Then I get them to reverse the spin. Often, not always, it’s in the guts – the entemic nervous system, which scientists are only just beginning to realise has its own neurology. You reverse that spin, you reverse the feeling, literally.


I don’t cure anybody because I don’t think they’re sick. If someone learned to be afraid, it just means they’re dependable. All I have to do is get them to be dependable in a new way. One way is to reverse a memory. When you run an old scared memory backwards, it flattens out the neurons, because those neuro-cortical pathways are selected by size and fired by a chemical charge. Now, here’s the trick to personal change: you create a void and fill it with something better, then it doesn’t go back to what it was.


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To reserve your place at Richard Bandler’s UK seminars visit


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AT THE TOP? His voice has been called honey-like, angelic - even miraculous. He is modest, wears his heart on his sleeve and is also deeply ambitious. So who is Sam Smith, and where does his talent come from?



t first glance, he doesn’t seem to fit the stereotypical image of a modern pop star, but with a burgeoning trophy cabinet and his recent transatlantic success, Sam Smith has taken the music industry by storm in just a couple of years. It seems like a quick trip to success, but Smith’s journey hasn’t been as straight-forward as it might appear. Born in Bishop’s Stortford on 19 May 1992, Samuel (Sam) Frederick Smith is the son of Fred, and Kate – a fruit and vegetable market trader and a finance worker, respectively.

At the age of eight, Smith’s mother heard him sing Whitney Houston’s My Love Is Your Love, as she drove him to the local Catholic primary school that he attended, and she immediately recognised his talent. She promptly enrolled Smith into jazz singing lessons and musical theatre classes. These fields taught him the discipline and technique to bring greater control to his voice and push his vocal range to the limit. The combination of three genres – R&B, jazz and music theatre developed his performance mastery.

average nine-year-old’s experience. Yet hard times followed when his mother was fired for alleged gross misconduct, because she was spending company time pursuing her son’s career – something she vigorously denied. Smith is defensive about the silver spoon argument. “The climb to money was sudden,” he recalls. “We were doing nicer things, travelling around the world. But just as quick as the climb was the decline. “We we’re in a whole different situation. So I actually get really angry when I hear people say I come from money, because when I was younger I had money and then I didn’t. So I really do know more what it’s like to be poor than I know what it’s like to be rich.”In spite of the circumstances, Smith’s mother was clearly a key factor in his success, but was she the only catalyst? His answer is telling. Alongside his mother’s financial support was his father’s practical help.


Smith was soon performing for his mother’s friends and associates at dinner parties, impressing them with his accomplished vocals. At the time, his musical heroes were almost without exception women. “I loved My Love Is Your Love by Whitney Houston,” he smiles. “Chaka Khan’s Through the Fire, Aretha’s I Say A Little Prayer, Etta James’ All I Could Do Was Cry...” He puts the quality of his voice – described as angelic by some – with its extraordinary range and famously pure top end down to one simple thing: “The reason I sing so high is because I spent my whole life imitating Whitney and Chaka. It feels natural to me to sing like that,” he shrugs. Although it’s easy to describe Smith as having a privileged background, this tells only part of his story. “Until the age of four I lived in a tiny two-bedroom house,” he says, though he adds the family’s fortunes soon changed. His mother had started work as a bank clerk in Islington and later became a City trader, earning £500,000 a year. A family move to a big house in Cambridgeshire with a pool soon followed, as did fantastic family holidays. His mother secured him private lessons with jazz singer-songwriter Joanna Eden – hardly the

Sam Smith performs at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia

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“My dad, bless him, is the one who should get credit for that. Every day after school he would drive me to Kilburn where I’d be recording in studios.” His father also gave up his job on a Fulham fruit and vegetable market to promote his son’s talent. Things appeared to be going in the right direction for Smith. At 13 he secured his first manager and felt destined for the top. His mother’s sacking changed all that. The loss of money also meant that the family lost friends whom they had thought were close. It affected Smith, who was sensitive and emotional. “Even now I get paranoid if one of my team doesn’t reply or seems angry with me – I’m like, oh no, that’s it.” Perhaps ‘paranoid’ overstates things. Most successful people exercise caution. It certainly explains Smith’s initial reluctance to move out of his £500-a-month rented flat when fame and fortune beckoned. Though well on the road to success, his modest home reminded him how fast things could go wrong. “It’s proper rundown. It’s good and humbling,” he says. One aspect of Sam’s character that has caused comment is his homosexuality, and it was widely reported that he came out during an interview with New York-based magazine The Fader in 2014. It’s a sign of thankfully more progressive times and

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a tribute to his balanced personality that he considers the idea ridiculous. He says he simply answered a question about his sexuality, voicing what he and everyone who knew him already acknowledged. “I didn’t come out,” he exclaims. “I came out when I came out of my mum! No, that side of things to me is just normality. I find it weird when people use the expression ‘coming out’ like it’s a massive party of relief.”


When he was 18, Smith’s parents split and he moved to London to seek fame and fortune. Within a year he found himself cleaning toilets to sustain himself, and split from his sixth manager. He was losing hope. “Remember, I started when I was 13. I was 19, and all my friends were either at university or travelling, and I was stuck in London cleaning toilets, and I’d already had six managers, and I was like, ‘no, if it doesn’t happen next year I’m going to leave and travel and see the world’.”

Smith’s In the Lonely Hour recording was the second best-selling album in the UK in 2014


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Thankfully, several opportunities materialised that ensured his talent was identified by the music industry. His big break came when he featured on electronic pop duo Disclosure’s single Latch, which climbed to number 11 in the UK charts. Next came La La La in a team-up with Naughty Boy. Neither were obvious pairings for someone schooled in R&B and jazz, but the dance/club tracks worked well. La La La brought him his first number one.

A 2014 BRIT Critics’ Choice award followed as did winning the BBC Sound of 2014 poll. His third single from his May 2014 album In The Lonely Hour was released. Stay With Me’s soulful and powerful vocals were an international hit. Now, after four Grammys and this year’s Brit Awards win for British Breakthrough Act, Smith is poised to enjoy a glittering career. The keys to his success are numerous. Alongside raw talent, Smith had a supportive, disciplined family background. He’s ambitious, but also careful to stay true to his roots. He could recorded more dance tracks, but his first album comprises ballads and love songs, where his miraculous voice shines through. Emotion drives him. “I’m a highly emotional person... When I sit and write songs, in the moment, I project the way I feel in the song. I think you can hear that. And every time I sing it, I feel what I felt when I was writing it.” Love and heartbreak fed his first album. With candour, he tells how the album was inspired by unrequited love for a straight man. Before the album’s release, Sam told the man who’d broken his heart the album was dedicated to him.

SAM SMITH AT A GLANCE •B  orn 1993 in Bishop’s Stortford and spent his early years in a small two-bedroom house

He recalls the man simply asked: “Are you OK?” He adds: “It was a lovely response... It was like closure to me. When I fell in love with this guy last year, it was the third person in my life I had really strong feelings for and they’d never loved me back. And this album was almost a way for me to break the cycle. I will never let myself fall in love with someone again in that way.” Smith is not a standard pop icon. He is not conventionally handsome, he’s self-effacing and emotionally honest. Many have drawn parallels with the hugely gifted yet unconventional vocalist, Adele whose trajectory has seen her transcend pop with songs reaching far beyond the mainstream demographic, elevating her to iconic status. Sam Smith has many choices ahead of him. It will be fascinating to see which way he goes.

•S  am’s mother was a bank worker and his father worked at a Fulham fruit and vegetable market •S  ang along to Whitney Houston recordings and other great female vocalists on way to school •H  is mother enrolled him in singing lessons at the age of eight •B  y 19, he’d had six managers and felt that he was getting nowhere •D  uring his first year in London he struggled to find work and ended up cleaning toilets in a London bar •B  efore he found fame, Taylor Swift invited him to guest with her at a gig at the 02 Arena •H  is debut album, In The Lonely Hour, has already sold more than 3.5m copies worldwide in less than a year • Suffers from OCD and often blogs about it • Sam says he struggles with his weight and when he was young his father banned fatty foods from the house, including chocolate • Sam is driven by emotion, which he says is the source of his great singing voice


CHANGER Widely acclaimed as a public speaker, teacher and author, John Demartini is a genuine force for good. So why was he once told he would amount to nothing? And how did he overcome dropping out of school, disability and a near-death experience to help others find their authentic selves? Bernardo Moya reports


You may have seen him in the 2006 personal development movie The Secret or picked up one of his books, including titles such as The Breakthrough Experience, Riches Within and How To Make One Hell Of A Profit and Still Go To Heaven. It’s possible you’ve attended one of his many talks delivered around the world, or had your life transformed at one of his seminars. Or maybe this is the first time you’ve heard about this extraordinarily positive figure who has helped change many lives for the better. Born in Houston, Texas in 1954, John Demartini didn’t have life’s advantages so many take for granted. A birth defect gave him misshapen limbs, forcing him to wear arm and leg braces at an early age. He also struggled in classes so that when he was just seven, a teacher told him he would never be able to read, write or communicate effectively. Diagnosed with dyslexia, by 14 he was a high school dropout, begging and sleeping on the streets. Strangely, he doesn’t regret those days. “I had a desire to be free and I guess I’ve been a free spirit ever since,” he smiles. Which may explain why he decided to hitch to California, then Hawaii to become a classic 1960s surfer, sleeping on the beach. Life didn’t match up to the hippy dream though, and at 17 he ate a plant he found on the beach whose high strychnine levels nearly killed him. It was the low point of his life, and was also the point where things began to change. “I was luckily led to a little health food store which then led me to an evening event that was presented by Paul C Bragg,” he recalls. “One night, one hour, one man with one message got to me.” The effect of Bragg’s talk was profound. “That night was the first time in my life I believed I might be intelligent and that I might do something with my life – right after I nearly died.”

Grinning, he recalls she replied, “Okay... can’t you ask for a t-shirt?” Thankfully, his uncle was a professor at MIT and John says he was “blessed” when he received from him two six-foot-cubed wooden crates filled with, “thousands and thousands of books in every imaginable field.” It was an extraordinary gift that was to deeply influence John. “I just started working. I’ve been studying Nobel prize winners and great philosophers and great scientists and great theologians and business leaders and anything to do with maximising human awareness and potential,” he says. The effect on him to this day is profound. “I constantly read, sort, study, research and summarise, write books on it and do everything I can.” Today he delivers 350-400 speeches a year, gives about 1,000 interviews and spreads the Demartini message as widely as he can.


So what is his message? The answer is inspirational: “There is a hidden magnificence in everybody and if they follow the principles that help people wake it up, they get to do something extraordinary with their life.” He also adds: “I’m very, very inspired by doing what I can to help people do that every day in my life.” As I ask him to outline what he teaches, he adopts a thoughtful tone. “I think that everybody lives by a set of priorities, a set of values in their life. Whenever they’re setting goals that are congruent and aligned with their highest values, they’re spontaneously inspired from within to act.


It sounds like a ‘born again’ story – and perhaps in some ways it was, because Demartini’s life completely altered right then. “That night I made a decision that I wanted to learn how to read, be a teacher, travel the world and do my best to learn everything I can and teach as much as I am able.” His desire was realised over the coming months as he learned he could read and become who he wanted to be. “I didn’t read till I was 18, and once I learned that I could, I became a bookworm,” he says. In fact, he couldn’t stop, reading dictionaries, encyclopaedias – everything he could. For his nineteenth birthday he asked his mum to give him, “the greatest teachings on the face of the earth, the greatest writings humanity had ever created.”

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But whenever they’re doing goals or intentions that are lower on the value list they tend to procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate.” He outlines a common story: how we start off in life subordinating our own values to those of others. Perhaps we have a set of values imposed on us by parents or teachers – and later in life by our bosses at work. The upshot of this, Demartini says, is that many people are not living a life that is congruent with their true sets of values. The result of this is that life is hard – a struggle, and full of frustration. But for many over time, this begins to change as they become more self-aware. “Around our 30s to 40s, maybe mid-life, we start to realise, ‘wait a minute now, we’ve been subordinating and been living by the injections of other people’s values...we haven’t given ourselves permission to live authentically and congruently with our own’.” He continues: “We finally get to a point where we go, ‘you know what, enough’s enough. I want to be me, I want to be loved for who I am, I want to do something that’s inspiring, I want to make a difference’.”


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He looks at me with a glittering eye. “We’re not here to live in the shadows of anyone, we’re here to stand on the shoulders of giants. The moment we give ourselves permission to be our authentic selves and not subordinate, we do something extraordinary.”


Standing on the shoulders of giants is indeed what John Demartini has been doing for most of his life. He approached the books his uncle sent him at 19 with logical precision. “I wanted to study the laws of the universe and I wanted to study the greatest thinkings, the greatest ideas I could get my hands on... I made a list of all the disciplines that were available in the dictionary and the encyclopaedia at the time and I then set out, I said, ‘Okay, I want to have an average of a hundred books on each topic’.” He determined 292 different disciplines, and he did indeed read a minimum of 100 books on each. “I wanted to learn the most universal law I possibly could get, because if I found the same law applying to all those different

FEATURE disciplines I’d have the strongest foundation to build my teachings from.”By finding the common threads in so many different and truly original minds he woke up his own original thinking. It also helped him see things more clearly. “We have to transcend all the ideals and some of the fantasies we grow up with and finally get grounded and real about what’s really going to be important to our life and the priorities in our life.”So how do you work out what your priorities are? How do you really discover what drives you rather than what you’re told drives you. Demartini’s answer really makes me think. “Everybody’s life demonstrates their values. You can say all kinds of things about what’s important to you but your life demonstrates it. I’ve been asking people for many, many decades now about their values and I’ve adopted a value determining process.“


Demartini goes on to list a whole series of determinants of values. For example, people fill their space with things that are valuable to them. “If it’s very important to you, you keep it around you; you want to see it or hear it or be around it. You look at what’s close in your personal space.” From here, he also lists other factors, such as time spent on things, energy, money, order and organisation, then discipline and a series of further factors, making 13 in total.“If you look at all those and you answer three answers to each one you’ll get 39 answers and then you’ll look at which one of those answers keep repeating themselves the most, second and third – and you then discern what it is: the hierarchy of one’s values.”

cortex. The moment we do, the telomerase enzyme is enhanced because of the stress reduction. “It elongates the telomeres, which actually helps you live longer. The physiology is trying to guide us to be authentic. When we actually live authentically, we’re rewarded by more vitality, more inspiration. “We’re actually getting to a timeless mind and in that state we can have a great state of resilience and less ageing.” The secret, then, is to see beyond the immediate whim, fantasies, self-delusions and external values we are subordinated to in order to become one with ourselves and the wider universe. Demartini explains that when we do, we find life becomes a joy – and deeply fulfilling. It is this message that he spreads in his talks and seminars throughout the world. It has helped thousands, perhaps tens of thousands to find a better life. It’s quite a life, and quite a story. And it all started on a beach in Hawaii, where a young, lost man nearly died.

To see John Demartini’s 13 values, download The Best You app at thebestyoumagazine.co

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You can then begin to organise your life around the most important values and delegate the rest. “As long as you’re doing lower priority things you’re going to be draining yourself and not performing at your peak,” he says. The exercise helps people to determine the direction in their lives as they become more self-aware. The effect of living to your highest values isn’t only psychological. There is a neurophysiological element, Demartini explains. “Whenever we are living congruently with our highest values, we activate what the ancient Greeks called the Telos, the end in mind. We also activate the Telum Cephalon, the end in the brain, which is the medial prefrontal


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LAST MILE When Paula Radcliffe announced that she would run her last London Marathon in 2015 it merely marked the start of a new chapter for this determined athlete, reports Dr Stephen Simpson


In January 2015 Paula Radcliffe announced that the April 2015 London Marathon would be her last, bringing to an end an illustrious career spanning almost 25 years. During this time Radcliffe has won titles, shattered world records, and overcome numerous injuries. Her courage, determination and persistence are legendary, especially in the face of adversity. These qualities impressed not only sports fans, but also those who were not particularly interested in sport. Her rise to prominence and popularity was universal, culminating in the award of an MBE in June 2002, closely followed later that year when she was voted BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Radcliffe will be fondly remembered not only for her successes, but with sympathy for the successes that she deserved, but that eluded her. Her medals included Silver in the 1999 Seville World 10,000m finals, and Gold in the 2005 Helsinki Marathon. Despite being widely considered as the best long distance runner of her generation, success at the Olympic Games eluded her, with her highest position being fourth in the 10,000m in the 2000 Sydney Games. While she did not win a medal for the fight, arguably her greatest success was in overcoming so many illnesses and injuries. These would have finished many other athletic careers.


Radcliffe’s illnesses included asthma, which was diagnosed at the age of 14. Running depends as much on optimal lung function to provide oxygen as it does to the muscles that use it as fuel. A diagnosis of asthma must have been the worst possible news for her, just as she was beginning to command serious recognition from top coaches. Along the way, Radcliffe’s injuries have included numerous muscle tears and sprains. One that attracted much wry comment was the knee injury sustained whilst kneeling on the floor writing thank you letters for her wedding presents, though it is doubtful she found it amusing. Broken bones have included stress fractures of her spine, foot, and leg. These are not due to violent injury, but long-term trauma as a

result of months and years of intense training. As if these injuries were not enough to endure, she also required surgery to repair a bunion on her foot in 2009. The convalescence period following this operation is always painful, and it was therefore a significant achievement to be running competitively after only ten months away from the track. How an athlete copes with such illnesses and injuries and continues to drive their career to new heights requires the perfect storm of mind, body and soul combining in exquisite balance. Few people exhibit these rare qualities better than Radcliffe. So just how was she able to win her biggest battles not only on the track, but inside her own body?


The answer might just come from research conducted at the University of Maryland Cancer Centre by two doctors in 1987. They were able to identify some of the most important personal characteristics that survivors of serious illness shared. They found that:

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• Such individuals were proven to have a fighting spirit and refused to be helpless or hopeless; • They were also assertive and able to navigate their way out of stressful and unproductive situations; • They were tuned into their own psychological and physical needs; • They were able to talk openly about their illness; • They had a sense of personal responsibility for their health, and worked with their medical team as a collaborator, not as a passenger; • They were altruistically involved with others. All of these characteristics apply to Radcliffe. She has always been open about her many injuries and illnesses, and the effects they might have on her performance. She has effectively managed her own health, even on the occasions when the medical opinions within her team have been conflicting.


Her fighting spirit is legendary. In her best-selling book, Paula: My Story So Far, she explains: ‘We should never be afraid to go after something that we want for fear of failure. We all need the courage to try. We may not get there straight away, sometimes we may never get there, but we must never be afraid to give all that we can to go after our goals and dreams. “Unless you put yourself on the line and give it your best shot, you’ll never know what you could achieve.’ Radcliffe certainly has put herself on the line. Many times over. Perhaps too many times. Yet it is the final characteristic of



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survivors that just could have been Radcliffe’s strongest motivator, and that is altruism. She has taken a very public position on the sensitive issue of the abuse of banned performance enhancing drugs in sport. Not surprisingly her actions have attracted both widespread commendation, but also criticism. Most people love to celebrate the sporting successes of others. Professional athletics, and indeed many other sports too, survive on the knife edge of credulity. While we all love to applaud success, this heady cocktail is easily soured by the slightest aroma of cheating. Athletes depend upon their fans, the wider public, sponsors, organisers and media for their support. It should always be remembered that this support is only conditional. Another World Record? Sadly the first question is so often not, ‘Wow! How did they do that?’ but, ‘What drugs were they on?’ Do not be surprised if Radcliffe achieves even more success in her next career than in her running career. Success that will convince a sceptical public that athletes’ achievements are due to their own efforts, and not banned drugs. Another extract from her book sends a clear message of what is to come. ‘Sometimes I get frustrated that I haven’t pushed hard enough or devoted enough time to the anti-doping issue. Once my career is over, it will become a priority.’ I bet it will. Do not be surprised if she wins the 2015 London Marathon too.



BOOK Life Without Limits



With the power to entertain, enrich and empower your life, books are as important today as they have been for millennia. Here’s what’s catching our eye at The Best You this month…

A NEW HERO Forget Iron Man, Superman and Spiderman, the newest super hero making waves is Super Sikh, an art project with a difference. Created by San Francisco tech exec and comic creator Supreet Singh Manchanda, Super Sikh is an Elvis-loving, Taliban-fighting superagent described by Manchanda and co-creator Eileen Alden as, ‘Batman meets Jason Bourne’.

The creators say Super Sikh is helping to address an often confused American view of Sikh people. “If you see this person, he’s wearing a turban there’s this immediate association to a terrorist,” explains Alden. “By placing a Sikh character as the good guy in Afghanistan combats a two-dimensional image.” “No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again” Craig T Nelson, The Incredibles w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o




Harness the power of alkaline foods and eat five meals a day to lose weight, get glowing skin, heal your health problems and feel fantastic. This easy-to-follow diet allows you to eat without restricting calories and create the best health you’ve ever had. Written by ultra-marathoner and health coach Laura Wilson, who has used these principles to turn her own health around, this plant-based diet is grounded in solid science. Simple, satisfying, sustainable, superhealthy, and systematised, The Alkaline 5 Diet harnesses the healing power of alkaline foods, providing you with all the nutrients you need.

“Great insight into achieving boundless energy, fantastic hair, skin and health. An inspiring read that can change your life” – Zoe Jordan


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Gill Hasson, author of the bestselling Mindfulness is back and this time you can fit her advice in your pocket. This little book is packed with more than 100 quick exercises, each dealing with a different situation, to help you get calm, collected, and balanced. So whenever you start to feel the stress mounting, reach for your Mindfulness Pocketbook, find the relevant exercise and instantly make life better. By progressing through the pocketbook, you will develop mindful ways of thinking and doing that will benefit a wide range of situations in your personal, social and work life.

”Mindfulness skills are an effective way to improve performance, reduce stress, enhance emotional intelligence, increase life satisfaction and develop leadership skills” – Bill Day

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OUR GARDEN BIRDS: SPOTTING AND JOTTING GUIDE BY MATT SEWELL There is nothing better than spotting a bird you have never seen before, so here is a handy way of keeping all your jottings in check. In Matt Sewell’s much-loved pop art style, and small enough to pop in your pocket, Our Garden Birds: Spotting and Jotting is the perfect accessory for birdseekers and nature-lovers alike. Replicated in stunning watercolours and true-to-life, discover wild and wonderful birds from Greenfinches to Goldcrests, Blackcaps and Collared doves. So, grab your binoculars and start spotting and jotting your favourite feathered friends.

“A brilliant and contemporary guide that brings twitching bang up to date for a whole new generation” – Louise Long


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JOLT: SHAKE UP YOUR THINKING AND UPGRADE YOUR IMPACT FOR EXTRAORDINARY SUCCESS BY RICHARD TYLER Are your habits and limiting beliefs holding you back in your professional and personal life? Are you stuck stagnating in your comfort zone? What you need is a jolt. Organisations are no longer looking for people who turn up and do a good job; they are looking for the extraordinary. So it’s time to get motivated, be positive and make exceptional things happen. It’s not a lack of skill that’s holding you back but your own limiting beliefs and habitual thinking. Deep within all of us lies an inner spark to be unleashed, if only we can find the way to shape our thinking, carve out the right action and rock the world.

”A thoughtful and practical guide to reigniting your inner life passion – get excited and make your goals a reality” – Laura Davis

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Life Without Limits TM


The Values Factor shows you how to create a life in which every minute can be inspiring and fulfilling. The first step is to identify what you find most meaningful the values in life that are most important to you. Once you understand your own unique values and align your life accordingly, you can achieve fulfillment in every aspect of your life: deepening your loving relationships, creating an inspiring career, establishing financial freedom, and tapping into a rich spiritual life.


Paul McKenna Ph.D. has helped people from all walks of life and helped them to change their lives for the better. He has investigated nearly every method of therapy, coaching and personal change available, and as a result has recently created an amazing new system that could help you breakthrough in the areas of your life you truly want to! He has discovered and crafted a simple set of processes that you can be guided through in a matter of hours. Paul McKenna wants to help you to clear the past of blocks or negative experiences and get in touch with the very best of who you truly are so you can live more happily in the present. Let Paul McKenna help you get in touch with what you really want and focus your mind and body with an unstoppable passion to fulfil your destiny!

GET THE LIFE YOU WANT by Richard Bandler

Get the Life You Want is Richard Bandler at his best, sharing his remarkable insights, his controversial signature wit, and more than 35 time-tested NLP techniques that will bring about quick and lasting change in every area of your life, from breaking free of toxic or non-productive relationships, to delivering business presentations without a knot in your stomach, to quitting smoking for good.

START WITH WHY by Simon Sinek

Why are some people and organisations more inventive, pioneering and successful than others? And why are they able to repeat their success again and again? In business, it doesn’t matter what you do, it matters WHY you do it. Start with Why analyses leaders like Martin Luther King Jr and Steve Jobs and discovers that they all think in the same way - they all started with why. Simon Sinek explains the framework needed for businesses to move past knowing what they do tohow they do it, and then to ask the more important question-WHY? Why do we do what we do? Why do we exist? Learning to ask these questions can unlock the secret to inspirational business. Sinek explains what it truly takes to lead and inspire and how anyone can learn how to do it.




What do you want to be remembered for? What are your relationships like with those around you? How does life treat you… and how do you treat your life? There is so much good in you. Enrich your life with the passion you feel and the connections you make.

Life Without Limits



How the NSPCC’s online safety campaign is working towards protecting young people


Kelly Hoppen answers The Best You’s questions


to be a bird-spotter

Put your company in this space! To sponsor this page and be part of The Best You, email us at advertising@thebestyou.co

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The Share Aware campaign is one way the NSPCC is working to protect childhoods. Its ChildLine Schools Service uses specially trained volunteers to visit schools to help under 11s understand abuse and how to get help if they need it. Louise and Wendy tell us why they’re supporting the initiative This picture is posed by models


*This is a true story but names have been changed to protect identities “I’ve been using the internet for as long as I can remember but I was nine when I started visiting teen chat forums like Habbo Hotel. I said I was 14 and within no time I was being approached by men in their 40s and 50s who openly asked me to share photos of myself and after a while I did. At first I didn’t think it mattered because I didn’t know them and didn’t have to see or speak to them again if I didn’t want to. I didn’t know the seriousness of what I was doing. My mum found out and stopped me from going online but when I was 12 I started going on the chat sites again. Like last time I was approached almost immediately by older men but now they were less brazen and tried to befriend me. I didn’t lie about my age – I realised I didn’t have to. I started chatting to an 18-year-old called Joe*. It started friendly but pretty soon, like last time, his messages got sexual. He’d ring me in the middle of the night for hours, call me constantly when I was at school and used emotional blackmail to get me to send sexual pictures of myself. I stopped contact with him eventually but I carried on visiting teen chat sites and continued to be approached by older men. The experiences I’d had before drove me further in. It made me more trapped in what I was doing and when I was 14, I started talking to Paul* who was 30. While we were communicating with each other online he was arrested for showing indecent images to two girls on a train and when the police took his camera they found our chats and pictures he’d sent me of himself. They used them to find me and he was eventually sent to prison. My parents never had Facebook and Habbo when they were growing up so they didn’t even recognise what was going on at first. I imagine they would have done anything to have had the Share Aware information. They taught stranger danger because that’s what they knew but danger is lurking in and out of the home now. With professional advice, they would have been able to sit me down and prevent a lot of abuse that occurred. I think there’s no age too early to be teaching children about online safety so I’m really glad the ChildLine Schools Service talks to children about it. Nobody would think a 9-year-old would be online but I was and there were predators waiting for me. Without knowledge, I was helpless. Educating kids could prevent situations like mine. The service is also very important because it gives an abused child the knowledge to tell someone like a trustworthy

adult or ChildLine. Sometimes having somebody anonymous to talk to might be the difference between anyone being told at all.


Having worked in business for 20 years, Wendy Page decided to use some new-found spare time to help her local community. She is now a ChildLine Schools Service volunteer and delivers workshops in schools across her region. Wendy says: “I can honestly say it’s been a fantastic experience. It can be a challenging role but I believe it has a lasting value for my community. We provide the children with knowledge and reassurance, which can be a powerful tool for protecting themselves now and in the future. The children and teachers we meet make it so rewarding and hugely enjoyable. I am so proud of the work the service does; knowing you may have helped just one child leaves a lasting impression. “I came from a corporate background, so I was definitely out of my comfort zone when I first signed up. I was used to speaking at business meetings but talking to large groups of 9 to 11-year-olds was something I had never considered. I didn’t need to worry - I am testament to the fact that skills you pick up in business can be easily transferable to a volunteering role. “The training the NSPCC delivers is very comprehensive and I work as part of a team so we support each other and it’s very sociable. “As part of the sessions we talk to children about all forms of abuse in an age appropriate way so that they know how to identify it and where to get help if it ever happens to them or someone they know. We also cover internet safety, which is a subject children are always engaged and open about. But it’s often clear that they have no idea of the potential dangers. “We continually tell them to talk to a trusted adult if they have any worries or concerns, or if they have been sent or shown anything that makes them uncomfortable. “I’d strongly urge anyone thinking about volunteering to give the ChildLine Schools Service consideration. The role could help you make a big difference to the lives of children and young people with the advantage of gaining a personal sense of pride and fulfilment.”

To find out more about the NSPCC’s Share Aware campaign, search ‘Share Aware’ w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o




KELLY HOPPEN Kelly Hoppen MBE transformed the world of interiors with her innovative neutral colour palette. Since then she has designed homes for, among others, David and Victoria Beckham, become a trade ambassador for the UK government and sat in the hot seat on Dragons’ Den. The Best You caught up with the designer


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Exclusive bonus shots on iPad, iPhone and Android devices


Q. After two series, you’ve quit Dragons’ Den – what’s next?

A. What’s next is actually the reason I had to

leave my seat on the Den, and that is a lot! I am about to leave for Shanghai as part of my role as a GREAT campaign ambassador to celebrate the Festival of Creativity. I will also attend Maison & Objet in Singapore with Apaiser, and this year I am celebrating my 40th anniversary in the industry. I am extremely busy at the moment but I also need to find time for designing, which is still my first passion.

Q. What did you enjoy about being a Dragon? A. Having the opportunity to help entrepre-

neurs is what I love the most about the show. It also great to witness so much creativity and drive from building business entrepreneurs, and we shared some good laughs as well. It was a fantastic experience.

Q. You have received numerous awards during

your career, including an MBE. How important are these recognitions to you?

A. Being recognised for your work and passion

is exceptional. I am proud and thankful for all the awards I have received but the MBE is undoubtedly the greatest honour of my career to date.

Q. You work hard as an ambassador of The

with the financial side of my business. But it is something that I didn’t hide from. My advice: do not be afraid to make mistakes and ask for help. Nothing is simple, it is important to remember that when building up your career.

Prince’s Trust, The Prince’s Initiative for Mature Enterprise, and with UK Trade & Investment, supporting the government’s GREAT campaign – what is the appeal of these projects, and how do they enhance your own business?

Q. Your daughter, Natasha Corrett, is a very successful nutritionist and author – what influence did you have on her choice of career and how do you feel about her success?


A. Natasha is a hardworking, determined and

It is a pleasure for me to take part in such amazing associations, the resources invested to help people are impressive and the results truly inspiring. To see so many British companies thrive thanks to the GREAT campaign’s advice or young entrepreneurs supported by The Prince’s Trust achieve their objectives is something I am really passionate about. Working with entrepreneurs from diverse backgrounds and evolving in different industries is an opportunity for me to learn new skills and it gives me a different point of view on my business which is truly rewarding.


You’ve spoken of your struggle with dyslexia in life – how did this impact your early business career, and what advice do you have for others to overcome adversity?


My struggle with dyslexia was impactful at many levels of my personal and professional life, but it made it especially difficult for me to deal

passionate woman, I like to think that I have my share of responsibility in these qualities of hers. But the choice of career was purely Natasha’s, she followed a lifestyle she discovered and genuinely believes in. She converted the entire family in the process. I am nothing but proud of her work and always look forward to see what she will do next (and be the first one to taste it).

Q. The ‘Kelly Hoppen’ look is renowned and you’ve created an international business that straddles many sectors – what is it that excites you still about interior design?


Designing an interior involves numerous considerations: location, light, the owners’ taste and lifestyle. Every project is different and that is so inspiring. Creating my own design school and writing books is a way for me to pass on these tools to create living environments that bring serenity and happiness. I love my job.

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Your time can make a big difference for children. Volunteer for ChildLine in schools. Imagine a generation of children who have the knowledge to stop abuse. We believe it’s possible through the ChildLine Schools Service. You can help us make it happen by going into primary schools to talk to 9-11 year olds about staying safe. Join us. nspcc.org.uk/volunteer Š 2014 NSPCC - all rights reserved.ChildLine is a service provided by the NSPCC. Photograph by Jon Challicom, posed by models. J20141027. Registered charity numbers 216401 and SC037717.



Jim Aitkins is an American writer and speaker whose observations about everyday life provide powerful lessons for personal growth. This month he considers how we can better control our frustrations from within I am a positive guy and, as a writer on personal development topics, I naturally gravitate toward the brighter side of life and I hope my readers do the same. But not today. Today I would like to ask you to consider something inside of you that is happening virtually every time you get upset. When you get mad, angry or annoyed, irritated or infuriated, exasperated or aggravated, bothered, offended or hurt, I’d like to simply ask, ‘Why? Why did it happen?’ Obviously, it is a reaction, but specifically, why did you react that way? Consider the very likely possibility that what actually occurred was a simple rule violation. Many people live their entire lives unhappy because they have maintained such a complex set of particular expectations that have so frequently gone unsatisfied. I like to use the word rule instead of expectation for the simple reason that rules are more frequently associated with negative consequences than expectations. And it is certainly true that, like rule violations, there are sometimes very serious mental and emotional consequences when certain expectations have not been met. So, let’s call them rules rather than mere expectations. You and I have a set of internal rules that American actress Marilou Henner wrote: “Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.”

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A BIRD-SPOTTER Described as the Banksy of the bird world, top spotter and illustrator Matt Sewell shares his love for our feathered friends


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After I left university, I got into illustration and street art doing lots of different projects for magazines, newspapers, clothing brands, even painting on walls, which is how I got my name out there.


I’m originally from County Durham, where I grew up on a smallholding. I’ve always been fascinated by nature and birds in particular. As a child I was really into bird books and would often draw from them, even if I hadn’t seen a particular species. About eight years ago, I got fed up with commercial art and decided to go travelling

with my then girlfriend, now wife. A friend had given me a bird book, and I became a bit obsessed with it and spent the whole trip birdspotting. I realised what a positive thing and a big part of my life birds were and when we got back I thought I would do something with it.


When we got back I started a blog post and got involved in the online forum, Caught by the river. I designed the logo and wanted to contribute, so I painted my favourite bird – the first was a blue tit – and wrote a couple of lines with it, and I posted a new bird illustration every week. Soon it attracted a bit of a cult following and after that I realised I could write a book. There’s something special about birds that I love, they have a life form of their own and whether you’re a kid or 90, you can be into bird-watching. It’s such an enjoyable thing to do.


It’s definitely changed over the last few years. It used to be guys in anoraks with big binoculars – and now I still wear an anorak, but it’s a trendy one and it has a different kind of feel. There are lot of musicians and artists who enjoy being outdoors – it’s great for wellbeing and fitness and the stuffy, boring image of bird-watching is in the past.


Whenever you go out, always look at what’s around – even in the middle of a town, a pigeon could be a sparrowhawk, a blue tit could be goldcrest. It’s almost a meditative thing, you can put your headphones on and almost disappear. Be prepared – have a book and binoculars tucked away as you never know what you might spot.

Matt Sewell’s Spotting and Jotting Guide is published by Ebury Publishing.

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Feeling good about yourself has a hugely positive impact on your appearance, persona and the response you ignite in others. Explore new ways to enhance the impression you make and enjoy the benefits of a positive self-image.

Life Without Limits



How to make your own beauty products


Laura Wilson advocates an alkaline diet


Gill Hasson explains why mindfulness matters

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GORGEOUS Lauded by Julia Roberts and Joanna Lumley, natural lifestyle expert Sophie Uliano’s latest book, Gorgeous for Good, is packed with ideas to help you look good for less. Here she shares some of her DIY beauty products I’ve been making my own skin potions for years. Some are better than others, but, on the whole, if you have time, making your own is a great money-saver, and it’s fun!


350ml glass jar, sterilised 135g mango butter 50g shea butter 4 tsps jojoba oil 2 tsps carrot seed oil 1/4 tsp vitamin E oil 2 tsps beeswax pellets

Melt all the ingredients in a small metal bowl set over a saucepan of boiling water. Everything should melt after about 4 minutes. Pour the mixture into the jar and allow it to cool before screwing on the lid. You can keep your butter cleanser in a cabinet for up to six months.

GREEN TEA TONER This is one of my favorite summer toners, because it’s uplifting, refreshing, and filled with antioxidants. It’s insanely easy to make. • • • •


225ml glass bottle, sterilised 1 organic green tea bag 1 organic peppermint tea bag 120ml aloe vera juice

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Steep the green tea and peppermint tea bags each in 120ml of boiling water for 10 minutes, and allow them to cool. Pour 60 ml of each infusion into a liquid-measuring cup and add the aloe vera juice. Pour the mixture into the bottle. Use the toner each morning and evening after cleansing and exfoliating. Keep refrigerated and use up within one month.

GOOD MORNING COFFEE CELLULITE SCRUB I love this scrub in my morning shower. The coffee contains caffeine and antioxidants, both of which are helpful in anti-cellulite treatments. • • • • • •

450ml Mason jar, sterilised 190g brown sugar 240ml grape seed oil 1 tsp pure vanilla extract 70g freshly ground coffee 10 drops grapefruit essential oil

Place the brown sugar in the jar. Pour the oil over it, and add the remaining ingredients. Stir well. Once your jar has been opened and is sitting on the side of your bathtub or shower, you might get a little water in it as you scoop the goop. If you do, the shelf life will be greatly diminished because once you add water into the mix, bacteria can breed. I recommend trying to scoop out of the jar as far away from the shower as you can. If it does get a little water in it, you should use it up within one month. If you keep it dry, it will last for six months.

LEMONGRASS ANTIBACTERIAL DEODORANT This is an outstanding deodorant paste that is my daily go-to. • • • • • •

175ml glass jar with airtight lid 2 tbsps coconut oil 2 tbsps shea butter 45g bicarbonate of soda 45g arrowroot powder 6 drops lemongrass pure essential oil

Place the coconut oil and the shea butter in a double boiler over low heat and stir until it has all melted. Remove from the heat and whisk in the bicarbonate of soda and the arrowroot powder. Stir in the essential oil and then pour into the jar. At room temperature, the deodorant will be soft; if you want it to be more solid, store it in the fridge. Store in a cool, dark spot and use within six months.

SOPHIE’S ‘GORGEOUS’ BLEND PERFUME I have always loved making my own perfumes because I feel like a scientist in my own kitchen, whipping up and experimenting with various concoctions. Perfumes are very personal, so you may want to play with various essential oils until you find a blend that you love. Remember that when you stock up on essential oils, they may seem expensive at first blush, but each bottle will last you for up to two years— you only use a few drops per perfume. • • • • • • • •

30ml dark glass bottle (screw cap or dropper is fine), sterilised A small funnel 1 tbsp jojoba oil 5 drops sweet orange essential oil 10 drops grapefruit essential oil 10 drops frankincense essential oil 8 drops neroli essential oil 5 drops rose absolute (you can substitute with the less expensive geranium, if you like)

Using the funnel, pour the jojoba oil into the bottle. Add the drops in the order listed. Screw on the cap and leave the oils to mingle for a week. Do a little patch test to make sure you are not allergic to any of the oils. To do this, apply 3 drops to the skin of your inner wrist, cover it with a plaster, and leave it for 12 hours. If all is well, feel free to use this perfume on your wrists, neck, temples, and hair when you want to feel sensuous and gorgeous! Keep it in a cool, dark cabinet and use within one year.

GREEN TEA SUNSCREEN After much experimentation, I finally came up with this winning formula and I’m sooooo excited to share the recipe with you. I wanted to make a sunscreen with natural oils and butters that really nourish your skin (and contain their own natural sunscreens). This creamy, moisturising sunscreen smells amazing and won’t leave your skin shiny or powdery. • • • • • • • •

• • • •

250ml dark glass jar, sterilised 1 organic green tea bag 1 tbsp mango butter 1 tbsp shea butter 1 tbsp avocado oil 1 tbsp jojoba oil 1 tsp beeswax pellets 1/4 tsp vitamin E oil 4 tbsps green tea 4 tsps zinc oxide powder 6 drops ylang ylang essential oil 6 drops vanilla essential oil

Make the green tea by steeping the tea bag in half a cup of hot water for 5 minutes. For this, I recommend that you boil the water and leave it to cool for about 5 minutes before steeping. Meanwhile, place the butters, oils, and beeswax in a small stainless steel bowl over a saucepan of boiling water. Allow the butters and wax to melt completely and then remove from the heat. This should only take a couple of minutes. Add 1 tbsp of warm green tea to the oil mixture and whisk vigorously. Repeat until you have added 4 tbsps of green tea. Next, add the zinc oxide and whisk vigorously to ensure that there are no lumps. Finally, whisk in the essential oils. Pour the mixture into the jar and keep it in a cool, dark spot for up to one month or in the fridge for up to three months. When it is refrigerated, it will harden, so take it out a few hours prior to using. You can play with the texture by adding more green tea if it feels too thick. This cream has an approximate SPF of 20. Make sure you re-apply at least every 2 hours, because it is not waterproof.

Sophie Uliano is a New York Times best-selling author and a leading expert in the field of natural health and beauty. She is the author of Gorgeously Green, Do It Gorgeously and The Gorgeously Green Diet.

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WOMAN Five meals a day, no calorie counting and the best health ever – Laura Wilson says a plant-based diet holds the secret to looking and feeling fantastic


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FEEL & LOOK GOOD “When you eat an alkaline, clean, high carbohydrate diet, it’s like rocket fuel for the body,” says Laura Wilson, author of The Alkaline 5 Diet, published this month. “The effects are amazing,” she continues, “you will have more energy and you want to move – you can’t wait to get to the gym, go to the park and exercise to burn it off.” With dietary advice that changes daily, finding the path to nutritional health can be tricky, but Wilson’s approach offers a diet that can be followed for 21 days, or 21 years, with big, delicious meals that leave yo-yo dieting behind. A registered nutritionist, experienced health coach and competitive athlete, Wilson was a former medical research manager in the NHS. Her own nutritional journey began when she was 18, living in halls of residence at university. “When I arrived at university, the typical food I found on offer was fried, fatty ‘brown food’ – sausage and mash, big lasagnes, which I added to with takeaways, plus I smoked. I was very lethargic and I quickly gained weight. “In my second year, I started cooking and going to the gym and I found I had more energy. I was buying fruit and vegetable and eating lower calorie dishes. I am an avid researcher and I started to use myself as a guinea pig – I tried the Atkins diet, high fat, GI-based diets. I realised that a heavily fruit and vegetable-based diet had a massive impact on my health and energy and that was the diet I’ve stuck with ever since.” Wilson’s alkaline-based diet includes big leafy green salads, grains, potatoes, sweet potatoes, and she is even an advocate of high carbohydrates, which goes against current trends. “There’s so much conflicting advice out there, and we’re constantly bombarded with different diets. Our bodies thrive with an alkaline diet and it helps to heal pretty much all diseases – even the damage caused by diabetes, heart disease and high cholesterol can be reversed by an alkaline diet. “We’re all athletes in our own way – whether you’re a busy mum, or running from meeting to meeting in an office, an alkaline diet offers endurance and sustained energy, weight loss, good skin and hair, and you will sleep well at the end of each day.”

5 TOP ALKALINE DIET BOOSTING TIPS 1. Eat lots of fruit and vegetables, preferably organic with a focus (30-50 per cent) on raw ingredients. 2. Start the day with a green smoothie packed with spinach or kale and fruit. Pack it in a travel mug and you are set up for the day. 3. Incorporate deep breathing into your daily routine – the alkaline diet is not just about eating. Deep breathing kick starts the lymph system and cleanses your blood, so do it every few hours. 4. Move your body – get outside, enjoy nature and decompress for an instant energy shot. 5. Hydrate well. For a woman, try to take on board two litres a day, three for men, more if you exercise.

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Ever feel like you’re missing a great experience? The answer could be to live in the moment, according to mindfulness expert Gill Hasson

Mindfulness is having a spotlight moment, with the technique currently sitting top of the selfhelp league. Models, actresses, sports stars, even health professionals extol the virtues of mindfulness for tackling mental health, fighting cancers and offering a boon to anti-ageing.

“Animals do it too – a cat focuses on eating from his bowl; then he will wander outside, sit in the sun and sleep. There is nothing more determined about his movements than enjoying each of those individual sensations in turn.

Given the buzz, it may come as something of a surprise to some that mindfulness’ roots lie in Buddhism, one of the first cultures to recognise the value of truly experiencing everyday events. “It’s like many other concepts before it, such as assertiveness and emotional intelligence, it is enjoying the spotlight and is bang on trend right now,” says Gill Hasson, author of the Mindfulness Pocketbook: Little exercises for a calmer life. “But when you look at the idea of mindfulness to manage your feelings, it’s common sense. “I don’t write about Buddhism in my book and although mindfulness is familiar to Buddhists, it’s a technique that can be learned by anyone. It can help us with many aspects of today’s busy world. In large part, technology is designed to take us away from living in the moment and prevent us from absorbing what’s going on around us, so putting devices aside and focusing on the moment in hand can be hugely powerful and transformational. “On the other hand, technology isn’t the enemy, and certain apps can help mindfulness. I was on a walking holiday last year and a bell rang on someone’s phone which they explained was an app that rings at random times to encourage them to just stop and think about what is happening all around them. The two can work in harmony.” Hasson’s book is packed with tips to incorporate the technique into all aspects of life, from relationships and work, to food, eating and coping with everyday stress. “I found it interesting to think of different situations and see how we could apply mindfulness,” says Hasson. “Small children do it naturally – if you’ve ever stood over a child saying, ‘hurry up and put your shoes on, we’ve got to go’, you might be met with a quizzical, ‘why?’ They are completely absorbed by the task of getting their shoes on and fastened, and there is no thought about the next moment.

“What can we learn from them? Slow down. Cut out what you ‘have to do’ and tackle each thing individually. You can train your mind to think differently and build up your skill at being mindful. The more you do it, the better you will become at the technique, so use the pocketbook to pick out several ideas that appeal to you and give it a go.” Gill Hasson is author of the Mindfulness Pocketbook: Little exercises for a calmer life by Capstone.

THREE APPS TO TRY Headspace (headspace.com) Gym membership for the mind. Sign up for free or take out an annual membership for £4.99 per month with unlimited access to the Headspace Collection for year-round content. Smiling mind (smilingmind.com.au) An Australian app with a clever meditationbased focus aimed particularly at young people. Buddhify (buddhify.com) 80 guided meditations for daily support.




Building your career or business can bring both financial reward and personal growth in every aspect of your life. Seek out advice and support to ensure your success today and for the future.

Life Without Limits



Robert Kelsey believes being an outsider can work to our advantage


7 easy ways to spend less and save more


Richard Tyler challenges us to shake things up

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OUTSIDERS His books are all-empowering guides to unlocking the potential within us, but author Robert Kelsey says he is an outsider who, on paper, shouldn’t have succeeded

Fear of failure, being more confident and overcoming procrastination are familiar challenges for most of us at various stages of life. Robert Kelsey is a highly successful author who has unlocked the answers to each of these issues in his hugely popular books over the years, so it comes as something of a surprise for him to admit that he considers himself an outsider. His latest book, The Outside Edge, How Outsiders Can Succeed In a World Made By Insiders, tackles alienation, isolation, poor-confidence and depression as the likely results of feeling like you don’t belong. It’s a scenario that Kelsey says he himself felt as a boy growing up. “All my books come from the heart,” says Kelsey, “but I think this one especially so. “This one is about me, I’m an outsider and I’ve experienced a range of issues such as isolation, alienation, misunderstanding and being misunderstood. I tried to define what it meant to be an outsider and the result is very personal. I would caveat by saying that it is only a successful definition for myself, but hopefully it will resonate with other people who feel this way to a greater or lesser degree.” While Hollywood and other authors, including Malcolm Gladwell, present the outsider as a hero and winner, Kelsey says in reality this is the exception to the rule, claiming there are more unhappy, disillusioned misfits who fail to reach their potential.


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“There are clear insiders and outsiders in life,” says Kelsey. “Look at me, for example. I went to a poor Essex comprehensive school – today most of my school peer group are not professionals or academics, and live happy but uncomplicated lives in suburban Essex, while my identity issues made me less popular and more restless. “I felt uncomfortable and like I didn’t fit in, even as a child. I grew up in a stressed environment where family structure was an issue, and I felt that I didn’t belong. Rather than stay, I moved on from that and therefore I was an outsider, and it’s an attitude that you often find in artistic types. “Tracey Emin is clearly an outsider from Margate, but is an insider in the art world. Yet she appears to feel more comfortable as an outsider, having declared herself a Conservative when she belongs to a traditionally liberal arts scene.” The good news, says Kelsey, is that outsiders can forge an edge, a unique and dynamic outlook that can – if honed – lead to success. If outsiders can overcome the negative baggage they’ve acquired in childhood or adolescence, they can harness their unique qualities to win in a classic redemption story. The key to this is finding meaning to harness their skills and attributes. “When I achieved success in life,” says Kelsey, “I could look back and say it was tenacity that enabled me to achieve it, but this is only correct in retrospect.


Once outsiders have a goal and can channel their energy into achieving it, they have purpose and a plan.” Another outsider who Kelsey cites is Steve Jobs, demonstrating that when the odds are stacked against you, it is possible to overcome adversity. “Jobs was the adopted son of a car mechanic, and dropped out of school,” says Kelsey, “but he harnessed his creativity and developed a strong strategy that everyone could use in his company. “This was exemplified again during his second coming at Apple, when he waited for the next big thing – the ipod and then the iPhone – to move forwards. Boldness and tenacity are important, but vision comes first.” Kelsey says his own vision arose from his poor education. “I wanted to achieve a decent degree from a good university,” he says, “and I achieved this with a 2:1 from Manchester University. It was a good start but you have to continually visualise where you want to be. I regularly formulate one, five and ten year plans – as outsiders we tend to believe we will be bashed off the path on the way, so it’s important to focus on and know your own goals.”


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As the tax year turns, The Best You has 7 ways to save you cash in the financial year ahead


Once your salary drops in to your account, make sure it’s not frittered away. Set up a direct debit for a set amount and have it transfer to a deposit account each month – it’ll soon mount up and provides a nice rainy day fund that’s ready when you need it.


If you owe money on your credit card, shift it to an interest free balance transfer option and save hundreds of pounds in interest while you clear the balance. Alternatively, if your balance is cleared, look for a card that rewards you for spending with points, vouchers or cash back.


Know those letters from your energy provider, insurance company and favourite store, make sure you read them before they hit the recycle bin – it could save you money. When your contract or policy is up for renewal, be sure to shop around as switching could save you pounds. And those loyalty points and money-off vouchers are worth checking out too!


If your end of month statement makes for an eye-watering read, try tracking what you spend as you go along. All you need is a notepad and pencil in your bag, and before you know it you’ll see where all that ‘missing’ money goes…


It’s strange but true that shopping with cash may make you more careful with what you spend. Debit and credit cards easily take care of paying at the checkout, but research shows we are more likely to restrain ourselves from needless purchases when we’re paying with the hard stuff.


It’s not just good for your safety, it can save you money too. Ensure your tyres are pumped to the right level, relieve your boot of any excess luggage and remove the roof rack when it’s not in use. Drop your speed 10mph and turn off the air conditioning when it’s not really necessary, and you could find you do more miles for less.


Now here’s a goodie. According to the experts if we pay an extra £50 on our mortgage each month, we can save up to £10,000 on a 25-year £150,000 mortgage – and clear three years off the term. Obviously you need to check there are no penalties in place for overpaying or finishing your mortgage earlier than expected, but you could be quids in.

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“We’re living in a space where good enough is not enough,” explains Tyler. “In the workplace, it’s not sufficient just to turn up and do a good job. The demands on us will only increase and so we need to push beyond the everyday to be successful. We can all crisis manage, but forcing ourselves to jolt our systems into doing things differently can have amazing results.” Tyler’s background is in performance as an opera singer, and for eight years he played lead roles in Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables on the world’s stages. In the performance world, he says there is no space for ‘good’ or sitting still. “You have to keep moving things on,” he explains, “and after each performance we would ask what we could do better or differently to make it an even greater experience for the next show. ‘Jolt’ is an inherent attitude in performance that doesn’t exist in business.” Using his observations from the performance arena, combined with a decade of behavioural psychology training, Tyler now coaches businesses and individuals, many of whom need to reinvigorate their thinking to survive and thrive.

Your comfort zone is holding you back, says author Richard Tyler. Thinking and acting differently could be pivotal to your success If every day looks much like the last, and your actions and those of the people around you seem to run on autopilot, you could be missing out on the opportunity to achieve extraordinary results in all areas of your life. That’s the passionate belief of author and business entrepreneur Richard Tyler, whose book Jolt: Shake up your thinking and upgrade your impact for extraordinary success, outlines the way to unleash our inner spark.



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“In my work now as a coach and speaker, I invite organisations to look at issues through this different lens. Most business leaders think a skills workshop will fix things, but ‘Jolt’ is about attitude, belief and upgrading our habits. We learn most when we are on edge and uncomfortable. I experienced this myself many years ago in rehearsal when a director shouted at me, ‘When you are on stage, be on stage’. “It’s a concept that can be used in business too – we need to disrupt and be more present in the room. If we are lost in our heads, in our own stuff, we lose the ability to pay attention. We need to spend more time in the present, paying attention, looking for cues and what’s not said. It’s not the notes that are played that we need to focus on, it’s what happens in between. “We need to think of ourselves as ‘possibility architects’, as opposed to ‘impossibility architects’ whose natural reactions are, ‘can’t, don’t, won’t’. Instead of thinking change is unachievable, we need to think, ‘how do we build the frameworks to make it happen’. If we start to ask how we can make it work, we make it better. “Daily upgrades are something we’re used to in daily life – we turn on our phones and they tell us the latest operating software is available for download. In fact it’s something tech companies like Apple, Google and Facebook do very well, constantly looking to improve. We need to apply the same approach to our thinking, to evolve, tweak and treat yesterday as out of date.”

Richard Tyler is author of Jolt: Shake up your thinking and upgrade your impact for extraordinary success, published by Capstone.





Truly a child of the empire state, Jon Stewart was born in New York City in 1962. He and his brother were raised by educated parents, however as children were subjected to the pains of divorce. Growing up in seemingly bucolic New Jersey, Stewart was often subjected to anti-Semitic intimidation and oppression while attending school. After graduating from college in the early 1980s, Stewart bounced around for several years in a number of odd jobs, including stints as a high school soccer coach, puppeteer and bartender. Due to an already rocky relationship with his father, Stewart dropped the last name given to him at birth and simply went by Stewart; this came at just the right time, as he was beginning his stand-up comedy career. Years spent in the New York City comedy circuit earned Stewart a chance to perform on Late Night with David Letterman, a pivotal moment. He then was offered the chance to helm his own variety show at MTV, a series which in reruns now has a cult-following status. In the late 90s, a hosting slot opened up on the popular satirical news series, The Daily Show. It became the perfect fit for Stewart’s intelligent, skewering, biting brand of comedy, and it rocketed him to a fame he had previously never dreamed of achieving. Now the voice of a generation, Jon Stewart has come a long way from bar-tending. “Stewart moved past childhood challenges to achieve his dream career. He is a reminder that we are masters of our own success or failure in life,” Bernardo Moya 64

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A LEADER OF ROYALTY Joan of Arc was born to a peasant family in France during the early fifteenth century. She was raised by parents loyal to French royal leadership, despite being surrounded by villages which were sympathetic to a rebel uprising; one that paved the way for the English to invade France. When Joan was 13, she says she experienced a vision of three saints that imparted to her that she was to be the one to drive out the invading English and lead the French crown to restore civil order to France. It wasn’t an easy task for one so young to convince those in command of her local village to grant her an audience with the king, but that is exactly what Joan did. The French king at the time, Charles VII, was so taken by Joan and her claim of receiving divine orders, that he commissioned her drive to turn the war with the English into a religious battle. Joan of Arc became a presence during top strategy conferences on the battlefield, and ultimately was the spark that led to Frenchloyal forces turning the tide of the war by immediately winning key battles and bringing prideful confidence back to the French people. “Even centuries later, Joan of Arc’s story is an amazing tale of bravery and self-belief – it’s hard to imagine how radical it would have been for a woman to lead her country,” Bernardo Moya



In a time when it meant that a certain path in life was guaranteed if you happened to be born out of wedlock, Leonardo da Vinci was the illegitimate son of an affluent businessman. Da Vinci spent his childhood in both his mother’s and father’s households, being raised and influenced by many different relatives. His father was said to be driven by the need to produce a legitimate heir, only later coming to realise and nurture Leonardo’s talents. When he was only 14, da Vinci began to apprentice with the artist Verrocchio. It was in this workshop that he gained access to all of the tools and methods, such as painting, sculpting, chemistry and mechanics, that would develop his grand talents. He began to contribute to Verrocchio’s work, and it was then that da Vinci started to came into his own as a professional artist. During his lifetime, da Vinci was known for much more than simply painting. He also served as a military engineer, as well as crafting and playing musical instruments. However it is for his famous paintings, such as The Last Supper and Mona Lisa, that Leonardo da Vinci became known to the ages not as an illegitimate son, but as a legitimate wonder. “One of the world’s greatest artistic talents, Leonardo da Vinci did not let the accident of his birth avert his creativity,” Bernardo Moya



TALK OF THE TOWN Not your typical ‘rocky road’ to success story, Emily Blunt was born to a well-to-do London family in 1983. Amidst three siblings and a father who was a career-barrister, Blunt early on began to struggle with being heard. Around the age of seven, she found that she couldn’t speak like other children; not fluidly nor eloquently. Manifesting itself more and more, she has said that her stutter became like a straightjacket on her speech and that other children were often cruel to her. She says that authority figures diagnoses at the time attributed her stutter to being ‘tense’. The only thing about which she was tense was not being able to properly convey the sheer amount of ideas and conversations she so desperately wanted to share. She now sees what so ailed her childhood years as a blessing in disguise. When one of her teachers told Blunt that maybe she should attempt a school play and pretend to be someone else for a change, someone without a stutter, Blunt was at first appalled, but eventually came around to the idea. Vast improvements began to show in her speech after rehearsing and tackling plays. This early experience at attempting to overcome her stutter was the catalyst for Emily Blunt to find her life’s calling, and enchant audiences all over the world. “There is a certain irony that Emily Blunt is now regarded as one of her generation’s leading actresses, yet her early life was blighted by a stutter. Performance gave her the key to overcoming this,” Bernardo Moya

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We live in a technological age and the opportunities that new ideas and developments bring to both our personal and professional lives are amazing. Discover fresh thinking and technologies that can enhance daily life.

Life Without Limits


ARE YOU READY FOR THE REVOLUTION? Will artificial intelligence save or destroy us?


April’s crop of tech toys

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REVOLUTION Will artificial intelligence save or destroy us? George Zarkadakis offers an insight into the future


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Machines entered our lives about 200 years ago. Watson, a computer that won the television game Steam engines mechanised labour and launched Jeopardy in 2011. These companies aim to develop the first industrial revolution in the late 18th computers that can learn. Humans learn by a process century. At the start of the 20th century, mass proof continuous feedback, or ‘reinforcement’; when we duction powered by electricity made it possible for see something new, our brain selects the best possible everyone to own a car, washing machine and rematch between what we sense and what we think we frigerator. Life standards improved, and so did life know about the object we observe. We create a numexpectancy. This was the second industrial revoluber of hypotheses but only one ‘survives’ after we idention, quickly succeeded by the third. By the 1970s, tify correctly (or someone tells us) what it is that we computers began to automate manufacturing, while see. This biological mechanism can be simulated in a miniaturised electronics supplied a cornucopia of computer using highly sophisticated mathematical and new devices and innovations, from the iconic Walkstatistical techniques. This is computing of a totally difman of the 80s to the iPhones and phablets of toferent category and scale because it allows a computer day. to improve its performance over time. Throughout this time, machines have been Couple that with technological power doubling evstupid. They did as they were told. They have ery 18 months and you get an accelerated evolution been our slaves and we their masters. But of computers that can diagnose diseases, suggest the things are about to change. Artificial intelligence, best travel package according to your profile, budget cognitive computing, big data and tastes, translate between lanand the internet of things are guages, and generally do what tratransforming our relationship ditionally has been thought of as with the machines. Soon our ‘impossible’ to code for. So where George Zarkadakis is an digital creations will acquire the does all this lead us? power, intelligence and ability to Some, like American investor AI engineer and science make and take decisions withand entrepreneur Elon Musk, fear writer. His new book out asking us. Welcome to the intelligent computers will take In Our Own Image – fourth industrial revolution! Are over the world and exterminate Will Artificial Intelligence us, as portrayed in movies such as you ready for it? It’s not a rhetorical question. Terminator or Matrix. Save or Destroy Us? is In 2013, two Oxford econoBut the most likely scenario for published by Rider. mists suggested that almost the fourth industrial revolution Follow him on Twitter 47 per cent of current employhas to do with economics, rather @zarkadakis ment would become obsolete than Hollywood’s obsessions. within the next two decades, Imagine fully automated factories because of smarter computers. run by robots and computers, and If your job can be automated it is a world where the top one per probably doomed for the dustbin of history. Highcent, which owns most of the capital now, owns most risk job categories include accountants, engineers, of the new production means as well. insurance brokers, as well as medical doctors. The In such a robotised future, what role is there for the mechanical looms of the 1780s replaced manual majority of humans? How stable could a society be workers. We are now approaching a time when where half of the population are unemployed and the highly-paid white collar experts could soon be rerest underemployed? The fourth industrial revolution placed by cognitive computer systems and deep could make us all poor and destitute. learning algorithms. But this is not an inevitable outcome. It has been It is a scary outlook that seems fast approachshown that humans can be more creative when working given the huge interest and investment in artiing with intelligent computers. If we rethink our societficial intelligence. Take, for example, Google which ies and economies we can spread the bounty of intellast year paid $650m for UK company Deep Mind. ligent computing more evenly and equitably. Demis Hassabis, the wunderkind founder of Deep As we approach the crossroads of the fourth inMind is now working for Google. Facebook is also dustrial revolution, we can chose to embrace AI and investing in AI. Yann LeCun, a star professor from become liberated by smart machines, to explore new NYU, is leading AI research for the global social things and ideas, expand our knowledge and enjoy network. Another big player is IBM, the company more from life. Thankfully, we have a formidable tool that developed Big Blue, a computer that beat Kaspat our disposal that can help us move to the right arov at chess in 1997; and sibling computer direction; it is called democracy. We should use it.

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JUST BLOWN IN April brings warm breezes and proverbial spring showers. While waiting for the darling buds of May to bloom, a fresh batch of tech is enough to ward off any of the drizzle doldrums

BABOLAT PLAY PURE DRIVE With special sensors built into this racquet’s handle, you’ll be able to track your game like never before. It lets you know how many forehands and backhands you’re hitting, how many flat shots, even how many of your shots you’re slicing or putting topspin on. It shows you precisely where you’re making contact with the ball, your swing speed, how much power is in your swing, and how much spin you’re putting on the ball. It’s also got a ‘Pulse’ feature, which tracks your progress and how much (or little) time you’re spending on the court. If your pulse drops, you’ve been away from the court for too long, and the racket will send an email alert reminding you that Wimbledon waits for no man – a must for tennis fanatics. Suggested retail price: £170

BLUESMART CARRYON Luggage may have become more durable and more attractive in the last few decades, but the digital revolution has, so far, left our hand luggage untouched. Finally, Bluesmart has given us a piece of luggage for the 21st century traveller. Connected to your smartphone, the luggage has a digital lock that secures your belongings when you are more than a few feet away. It tracks your location and that of the bag (hopefully in the same place). It also has a digital scale to display your bag’s weight on your phone, and a built-in battery that means you can plug your phone into your luggage for as many as six full charges. For the digitally savvy traveller, this is next generation luggage. Suggested retail price: £299


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HUAWEI WATCH Smartwatches are starting to flood the market, and manufacturers are vying with each other to see who can make it most obvious that the wearer is wearing a sophisticated piece of technology on their wrist. Huawei has gone in the opposite direction, trying to make their smartwatch resemble, as far as possible, the kind of quality timepiece that men took (indeed, some still take) pride in before wearable tech struck. The Huawei watch runs Android Wear, which means its functionality is virtually indistinguishable from its major competitors, but its 286ppi display makes it the highest in terms of pixel density of any of the watches on the market. It’s also got an attractive and nearly indestructible sapphire crystal glass topping. There’s no release date yet, but when it hits the market, it could be the best alternative for those who refuse to sip the Apple Kool-Aid. Suggested retail price: TBC

BUGATTI VEYRON VITESSA LA FINALE After 10 years in production and a total of 450 vehicles with the badge, Bugatti has produced its last Veyron. In typical Bugatti fashion, it has made sure that the car’s swan song fits its stature. As you might expect, the drop-top supercar boasts more than 1100 hp. This means that, if you can find a test track to drive it on, it’ll rocket you in a straight line at well over 400 km/hour. The Veyron has long been regarded as one of the world’s most ostentatious displays of wealth but, as a feat of automotive engineering, it might actually merit its ridiculous price tag (if you have to ask how much it is, you probably can’t afford it). La Finale has already been sold to a customer in the Middle East, so it’s not something that our readers can expect to cross off their wish list, but there’s nothing to prevent us from dreaming and drooling over what is undoubtedly one of the greatest supercars ever produced. Suggested retail price: Priceless

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THE BEST YOU DIRECTORY The best professionals in personal development

UNITED KINGDOM SPORTS THERAPISTS AND NUTRITIONISTS Dr Stephen Simpson NLP, hypnotherapy and havening Email: doc@drstephensimpson.com Website: www.drstephensimpson.com Clients include leading names from the world of sport, business and the entertainment industries

Shayna Schulman Attitude adjuster and flexibility enhancer Email: Shayna.s@virgin.net Phone: +44 (0) 208 960 7715 Licensed trainer, coaching, consulting, yoga, nutrition

NLP TRAINERS Tina Taylor: Licensed master trainer and practitioner Email: kay@the-me-group.com Phone: +44 (0) 7946 351640 Website: tina@tina-taylor.com Tina’s experience allows her to create and provide some unique coaching services, from stopping addictions to pregnancy and pain control

Ulrika Shaw: Thrive consultant and hypnotherapist Email: enquiry@shawmind.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7810 556029 Website: www.shawmind.co.uk Are you suffering from anxieties or depression? Maybe you’re struggling with bad habits such as overeating or smoking? I help people overcome anything that holds them back!

Geoff Rolls: Corporate coach and kinesiologist Email: geoff@geoffrolls.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7905 056 513 Website: www.geoffrolls.co.uk Learning and development, NLP trainer, TFH kinesiology instructor

June O’Driscoll: Exec coach, business coach, trainer Email: june@thoughtitude.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7876 657 8055 Website: www.thoughtitude.co.uk NLP, coaching and hypnotherapy training school and consultancy

LIFE COACHES Dr Andrew A Parsons Mindfulness, resilience and finding clear purpose Email: aaparsons@reciprocalminds.com Phone: +44 (0)7854 029 268 Support people, build awareness and make changes for success

Dustin Vice Personal and business development coaching Email: dustin@alliancecoachingsystem.com Website: www.alliancecoachingsystem.com Professional coaching, coaching business system for professional coaches

Gail Cherry: Torchlight coaching Email: gail@torchlightcoaching.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)1143 489 161 Website: www.torchlightcoaching.co.uk Helping people with their personal and professional development. We work together to be the best you

Ruth Hepworth: Life coach Email: ruth.hepworth@ntlworld.com Phone: +44 (0)1252 655 849

Those Life Consultant Guys: Coaching, seminars, business, goal setting and more Website: www.thoselifeconsultantguys.com A coaching company which prides itself on helping you to live your best life; every day, through one-on-one sessions and seminar programmes

Nick Nanton Career and life coaching, consultancy and public speaking Website: www.nicknanton.com Phone: (407) 215-7737 Recognised as one of the top thought-leaders in the business world

Edson Williams: Life coaching Email: edson@leadbyexample.com Phone: +44(0)7867517777 Website: www.leadbyexample.com Specialising in leadership development and sport coaching

David Owen: Life coach & NLP trainer Email: bestyou@excel-yourself.com Phone: 07900 243494 Website: www.excel-yourself.com Stop smoking, slimming, phobias, relationships, stress, confidence, self-esteem

THE BEST YOU DIRECTORY The best professionals in personal development

PHOBIA SPECIALISTS John Vincent Public speaking without fear Email: John@JohnVincent.tv Phone: +44 (0)7808 545 421 Website: www.johnvincent.tv

Paul Wright Phobias, anxieties, panic attacks Email: paul@phobiagone.com Phone: +44 (0)203 086 8444 Website: www.phobiagone.com

NLP THERAPISTS / HYPNOTHERAPISTS Linda Cameron and Gail Walshe Inspire for impact Email: say-hello@inspireforimpact.com Phone: +44 (0)845 601 7567 Website: www.inspireforimpact.com NLP trainers, NLP master practitioners, NLP life coaches, hypnotherapists

Debbie Williams Birmingham NLP Practice Group Website: www.debbiewilliams.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)121 241 0728 Life coaching, public speaking, sports coaching, all eating disorders, emotional mastery, OCD, stopping blushing, cocaine addiction, binge drinking

Edson Williams Coaching, NLP, personal development Email: say-hello@inspireforimpact.com Phone: +44 (0) 7867517777 Website: www.leadbyexample.com With an holistic approach, Edson specialises in performance coaching

Laura Spicer: Public speaking skills and confidence Email: laura.spicer@gmail.com Phone: 01752 361 576 Website: www.laura-spicer.com The only accredited sound practice trainer for the Society of NLP

EATING DISORDERS John Arroyo Coaching, personal development Email: john@johnarroyo.co.uk I have been a therapist and personal development trainer for 20 years, specialising in eating disorders for the last 10 years



Pasquale Acampora (Italy) Master trainer and mental coach, NLP, team building Website: www.blackship.it Phone: +39 (0)335 70 99 000 Pasquale’s key areas are sport and business; he has worked with top athletes and multinational companies

Alessandro Mora (Italy) Sport coaching Email: a.mora@ekis.it Phone: +39 (0)522 337 611 Website: www.pnlekis.com NLP, coaching and team building applied to sport and business all over Italy

Xavier Pirla (Spain): NLP master trainer and NLP coach Email: kay@the-me-group.com Phone: 91 002 84 44 (Madrid) 93 193 6449 (Barcelona) Website: www.the-me-group.com NLP, NLP business applications, coaching workshops and consultancy

Aleksander Sinigoj (Slovenia) Mastermind academy Email: info@itnlp.com Website: www.aleksandersinigoj.com Leadership, motivation, sales, business NLP

To include your details in The Best You directory, call 0203 011 0866 or email advertising@thebestyou.co Visit www.thebestyoudirectory.co for more personal development professionals


Profile for The Best You Magazine

The Best You April 2015  

In this month's issue, we interview John Demartini, one of the leading names in personal development – in our in-depth interview, he shares...

The Best You April 2015  

In this month's issue, we interview John Demartini, one of the leading names in personal development – in our in-depth interview, he shares...