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Beestonian Ready for its close-up

Issue no.


Bee Movie M

ovies. They look dead easy to make, don’t they? That’s what we thought: after a few months of watching local filmmakers come to the Beestonian Film Club at Café Roya showing their art, we thought it might be a good idea to have a go ourselves. Surely it’s little more than writing a fairly decent script, finding some people to talk to the camera and then pointing a camera at them? Simple! We grabbed some pens and paper, put some coffee on and got to work.

Nearly two years down the line, we now realise how wrong we were. Making films is incredibly difficult, and it’s the skill of the producers, editors etc that make it look easy. We started filming just over a year ago, and swiftly realised how tricky it is: the weather and light conspires against you; things that look good on paper sound daft when spoken; over-zealous Sainsburys security guards call the police on you.

Now, a year after we wrote in these, and the Nottingham Post pages that ‘we’ve nearly got it ready to release , we have finished it off and even let it loose on the public. Beestonia: The Movie. A 23 minute rush through Beeston’s past, present and future; a psychogeographic (cheers, Will Self! ) blast through our town with no particular intent other than capture a feel of what the place is like, rather than a dry documentary that neglects to include the real thing that makes Beeston a great place to live: it’s unique oddness. The editing process has been a Herculean task, but our director took up the task with gusto and produced something from hours of footage that is a visual treat, and sounds terrific. He is a professional who doesn’t think it abnormal to spend three hours trying to work out what the sound of a time-travelling bus would be. Melvyn, we salute you.

Our presenter, Jamie, bought so much gravitas and talent to his role narrating the script that everyone we’ve shown it to so far assumes he is a proper RADA actor, rather than a bloke I met at college who had a big beard decades before they were hip. We’re now showing the film here and there, and the response is good. We’ve also had some interest from local media, and maybe discussing talks about getting it broadcast. Otherwise, we’re going to continue to show it here and there, and perhaps put it out on DVD at some point. Keep an eye on our Facebook page for more details of showings. Now, the sequel. ‘Inham Nook: The Chilwellian Strikes Back’, anyone? LB and CF

The University of

Beestonia T

he Student Volunteer Centre at the University of Nottingham is committed to helping students get to know and support the areas they come to call their own whilst enjoying their University experience and we continue to make efforts to integrate students into Beeston and the surrounding areas.

Student’s Helping Beeston

You may not be aware but students from the University of Nottingham have been helping out in Beeston for a while now. Students regularly help out at various locations in Beeston in a variety of activities, for example at the Pearson’s Centre students help out running an Athletics Club and a Dodgeball Club attended by local children at least once a week. During Student Volunteer Week the volume of volunteers increased for a week which was appreciate by the young people. Students also help out in several local schools including Beeston Rylands, Trent Vale Infants School and Beeston Fields Primary School. Many of the students who volunteer within the schools are using this to gain experience to go on and complete their PGCE qualifications and become the future of children’s education. Kate Harborne a 3rd year Physics and Astronomy

Student and school volunteer said ‘I have been working with Beeston Fields on a Wednesday afternoon; it has been wonderful. I've been spending time with the little ones playing games and being read to. It's really lovely!’

As well as helping the students’ progress in their careers, helping out at Primary schools enables younger children to interact with University students and find positive role models in their community that will encourage them to see the benefits of higher education, as well as having a lot of fun with a new engaging person in the classroom! The University of Nottingham Students’ Union aims to enhance the experience of over 33,000 members, working in partnership with the University and the local community to make Nottingham graduates the best they can be. We support students to boost their skills by offering them the opportunity to run a huge amount of amazing events, sports clubs, societies and activities - making sure they have the most incredible time here in Nottingham. Jenny Gammon; Student Living Manager, University of Nottingham

Handel’s Messiah in Chilwell On 29th November 2014 at 7pm, Christ Church Chilwell will be the venue for a rare treat: a performance of the muchloved Messiah by one of the best chamber choirs in the East Midlands.

A local audience would be particularly welcome at the concert...

The Sinfonia Chorale, conducted by Richard Roddis, are an accomplished choir with a varied and often challenging repertoire, and earlier this year they went on a successful tour to the Hamburg area in Germany. For their autumn concert, they are relishing a chance to sing the Messiah, which seems to acquire particular qualities of vitality and meaning when performed by a chamber choir. Handel in fact originally composed the oratorio in 1741 for a relatively small ensemble. He had lived in London since 1712, and set his music to an English text.

One of the joys of the Messiah lies in the highly skilful and melodic way the music enhances the meaning of the words, and the work is often performed close to Christmas.

A local audience would be particularly welcome at the concert as the choir plans to stage future events in the Beeston/Chilwell area.

Tickets (£10, or £6 for full-time students under 21).

Available from: Turner Violins 1-5 Lily Grove Beeston Nottingham Tourist Centre 1-4 Smithy Row Sandra Wakefield 0115 9606236

BESTonian: th Dan Eley’s 100 Birthday I

“I’m sure nothing I do will ever quite live up to him.”

n the last issue we made Professor Dan Eley the Bestonian in celebration of his one hundredth birthday. It’s a heck of an achievement, not only to reach one hundred years old, but also to mark yourself in that time as one of Nottingham University’s, and Beeston’s, most eminent and respected professors. So that’s why we weren’t surprised when the university, presumably deciding that Eley being named Bestonian in our esteemed mag just isn’t enough, decided to have a birthday celebration for the great man.

Lord Beestonia and I were in attendance, as were a great many people; Eley’s former PhD students and undergrads, current students, and RSC (Royal Society of Chemistry) representatives, to name just some. There were so many people in fact that they filled two auditoriums, and the second room had to watch everything live streamed from the first room!

Indeed when you look at Professor Eley’s life, you see he has packed in enough for two. The man was awarded his first degree in 1934 before he was even twenty, and by 1940 he had achieved two PhDs. Eley continued to work, being published countless times up until his very last publication in 1994, 14 years after his retirement.

After Professor Reid, Professor Peter Norton stood up. Norton announced he had travelled all the way from Ontario, Canada to be here today, and then proceeded to read out numerous well wishes from esteemed scientists who were not able to make the event. Notable among them were Sir David King (the UK’s Special Representative for Climate Change) and Gerhard Ertl who won the Nobel Peace Prize for Chemistry in 2007. King, in his message, described Eley as “the quintessential scientific figure; knowledgeable but forgetful, brilliant but absent minded.” Eley’s legacy doesn’t just live on through the people he touched, but also through his work. Eley was frequently referred to as a polymath. He worked in not just chemistry, but also biology and physics as well. He was the proponent of the Eley-Rideal Mechanism of gas-surface reactions. Alongside one Professor Spivey in 1962, he successfully proved that DNA conducts electricity. The practical application of Eley’s work spans vast fields, reaching from the chemistry of plastic explosives, to the manufacture of smartphones. It was this as much as anything, that we were celebrating here today, not just the man, but also the science.

We had a chance to speak to his son Rod before the event. “Dad told me that his earliest memory was sitting in his high chair, aged three or four, and being suddenly knocked down off it by the There were so force from the explosion at the National Shell Filling Factory many people in fact (The Chilwell Explosion)!” The explosion happened in 1918 As we sat down, I found myself next to Jan Jones, one of and 134 people were killed. The explosion was reported felt Professor Eley’s very first students when the building opened that they filled two as far away as 250 miles. It is a strange bit of serendipity for a in 1960. A resident of Bramcote, she told me she thought auditoriums... man whose expertise is chemistry, and whose work at one time some in the room had travelled from as far London to attend. even directly involved plastic explosives, to have his earliest We’d soon find out that it was a huge understatement. memory as a great, but tragic, explosion. Here is a man who started off Jones had this to say about Eley: “One of my last memories of studying as a bystander to history, but now has gone on to forge it himself. here was Dan. He tried to explain to me, very patiently, a one dimensional square. I think he failed to explain it, and I failed to understand! We both There was an overwhelming outpouring of love for this man, which reached its peak when Martyn Poliakoff presented Professor Eley with a certificate failed miserably, and fifty years on I still don’t understand!” commemorating his fiftieth year as a member of the Royal Society, then unveiled It was then that I caught sight of Professor Eley. He was sat in the front row, a plaque for him, and then wheeled out an amazing 100 candle cake. Being next to his son Rod and Rod’s wife. The three of them looked delighted scientists, this was lit with a concocted flammable brew then put out with dry ice. yet overwhelmed with the turnout, and throughout the proceedings I caught snatches of Eley’s surprised pleasure as guest after guest spoke Finally, Professor Dan Eley himself was asked if he would like to say anything. The eminent, much loved professor, stood up.“I’d like to say about him and his achievements. something,” he said, “but I can’t remember where I put my notes.” Amongst the speakers was Professor Katharine Reid, current Head of Physical and Theoretical Chemistry, who said of his legacy, “I’m sure Very happy birthday again, Professor Eley, not once but always a Bestonian, and a truly inspiring man. nothing I do will ever quite live up to him.”


Pile Settlement C

ommercial sand and gravel extraction and quarrying by the River Trent at Attenborough began as early as 1929 and has continued almost to the present day. The resulting ʻpits', flooded with water, have produced the wonderful ʻNature Reserve' that we all now enjoy. Quarrying around the village of Hoveringham started 10 years later and still continues, with reserves yet to be exploited.

Among the many finds were spearheads, bronze swords, rapiers, daggers, knifes, a crucible containing metal, five more skulls and two dugout canoes each made from a single oak over 27ft long and between 18 to 20 inches wide. At first thought it might seem strange that anyone would want to build their home on a platform above a river. However, when we look back to prehistoric times, it makes more sense. The people living in the village — or perhaps we should call it a farm or homestead — were agriculturalist.

As well as leaving a legacy of scenic lakes and environment for wild-life, both sites have produced some interesting and revealing archaeology. Perhaps one of the more Building over such a marginal environment makes good use of valuable land resources and remarkable finds came as the result of gravel certainly, with the Trent prone to extraction of a different kind. In 1938, flooding, was better than building workmen from the Trent Navigation directly on the river bank. Evidence Company were dredging gravel in Our resident of prehistoric field systems exist on the Trent below Clifton Grove and historian Joe Earp near to the river banks of Beeston. gets stone-age man nearby Brands Hill in the form of a Their progress was stopped by series of terraces running the entire (and we don’t wooden stakes or piles driven into length of its northern slope. mean the the river bed. At the same time, Beeman!) human remains – in the form of a Archaeology has moved on a pace skull – and bronze spearheads were since the settlement's discovery in brought to the surface. 1938. Ariel photography of the area is starting to place it in a wider prehistoric The foreman of the works, Mr Griffin, had the landscape. One photograph shows where the foresight to contact the Thoroton Society, a villagers might have buried their dead. Nottingham archaeological group, whose chairman Mr Hind was dispatched to investigate. From the In the large field on the right hand side of the remains and artefacts, Hind identified the site as road, just over Clifton Bridge, the shadowy outline being a 3,000 year-old Bronze Age Pile Settlement. of the old course of the River Trent can be clearly seen. Along its southern bank are a series of Gravel extraction and work on the river bank ʻBronze Age Ring Ditches' — the ploughed-out continued into 1938 and, over this period, more remains of tumuli (burial mounds). piles – several hundred – emerged, along with yet more artefacts. Although the main site was on the More recent photos of the fields along the Trent Clifton side of the river, a large number of piles by Barton show what is believed to be a ritual site were discovered on the Beeston bank. known as a hendge monument – a circular bank and ditch. In the same fields are the remains of an The piles were grouped close together and would earlier Neolithic (New Stone Age) causeway have supported a platform upon which huts enclosure, a communal gathering place. would have been built — a village on stilts. Such In the late 1960s when the gravel quarry at Coniry prehistoric sites are known in Europe but this site Farm in Attenborough (at the back of the Village is almost unique in Britain. Hotel) began, a number of large coffin-shaped stones set upright in the ground were exposed. The settlement proved to extend over 100 yards These were interpreted by archaeologist Bob downstream and two-thirds of the way across the Alvey as the remains of a stone circle. river. What do the artefacts discovered at the Pile Settlement tell us about the people who lived This does not mean, however, that the entire there? The canoes are self-evident of a mobile village was over water. With the changing course riverside community. of the Trent it is likely that much of village was over marshy land along the banks. It is evident The crucible with its remains show that they were that the villagers knew the river well and made working metal, if only to repair valuable bronze good use of it. tools and weapons. Hind and his contemporaries

believed that the large number of weapons found at the site were the result of both accidental loss and warfare. He substantiated this with the fact that all of the skulls had sustained the same damage, a hole in the back of the head. It is not unusual for large numbers of bronze weapons to be found in ʻwatery' places — lakes, rivers, wells, springs etc. Modern opinion is that these are ritual deposits, valuable objects given to the gods or ancestors. The skulls are however a different matter. It is a remote chance that six or more individuals would all receive identical wounds in battle, or accidently. Could it be that these people were the victims of ritual sacrifice – an appeal to the river gods for safe passage? The hole in the back of the head would then seem consistent with a Bronze/Iron Age sacrifice method known as the ʻtriple death'. In this practice, the victims were first garroted and then bludgeoned to the back of the head. Finally, their throat was cut. Is it possible that the four lives a year that the Trent was meant to claim is a distant memory of such a practice? Joe Earp

Pile Settlement Map

Pile Settlement Archaeological Finds


olette Renaud left her home, the small town of Luc in the South East of France, in February of 1837 aged only seventeen, and arrived in Beeston that April. Why she stopped here, God only knows. I like to think she was seduced by Beeston’s beauty; its golden fields and luscious rolling hills, its good people. I like to think that. It doesn’t make it true. Let me describe Colette. Contemporary sources called her a buxom beauty, and I concur. Her figure was hourglass and every man kept his eye on the time. Her smile was the kind that could turn even the curmudgeonliest old bastard to smile, with full lips that she painted the colour of the aurorae she’d once seen above the Alps. Needless to say, Colette turned heads. However, what was the first thing this fiery beauty heard upon arriving in Beeston? The whole town was ablaze with talk. Only a few days before the Great Bendigo had gone seventy five rounds against his rival Ben Caunt. The game had been fierce and filled with underhand tactics. It was still up for debate who had actually won. Colette Renaud had picked up enough English to get by, but she was stumped. She’d never heard of this sport. “Baerre neuckel boxine?” Really, she asked? People actually did that? Colette was instantly intrigued with the concept and that weekend she made the short pilgrimage to Sneinton, the local hub of the sport. She took her place in the front row. She waited. Well, Colette was disappointed. It was not what she had expected. She’d misheard, Colette realised, but her expectations had been built. She needed to see what she had come to see. Thus began Colette’s mission. She spoke to people, chased up leads, and only a month later, under a bare-bulb with a baying crowd, Colette Renaud

unleashed the very first ever Bear Knuckle Boxing. It took place in what is now the remains of the Barton bus station. Colette had imported three bears, a mother called Esther and her two boys named Steven and Frazzles. The fight, between young up and comer Mathew Lewd and Esther the bear, lasted only one round, but man was it good. Lewd really fought valiantly, got in several good punches before Esther crushed his face between her big hirsute paws. Colette bounded in in the thirty eighth second and wrestled the mighty brown bear to the ground as punters dragged Lewd’s body out of the ring. The next fight, between William Radburn and Frazzles, didn’t last much longer. Willie took it to two rounds by running out of the building and circling it. Of course he wasn’t fast enough to outrun Frazzles, but boy did he try. The next week Colette branched out to getting people to fight smaller animals. Foxy Boxing was born. Colette herself even got involved, taking on an entire vulpine family in a series of fifty six rounds. However the fun didn’t last long. Only five such events were held before the constabulary was brought in. Colette was arrested for animal (and human) cruelty and was escorted to the nearest harbour and sent back to her home. The bears were adopted by Councilman Peter Fatstard who had secretly been to see every bear fight, though not for the sport. Fatstard loved Colette. His diaries tell us of an unrequited love so intense, so passionate that frankly it bordered on pervey. But Peter Fatstard took in Colette’s bears and looked after them until his death in 1860. He was found half eaten. The police were baffled. That, then, is one theory why there are three bears on the Broxtowe crest but, dear reader, there are others. Chris Fox

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Sting in the Tail:



Beeman Story Who is the Beeman? The Beestonian finds out ...

ho is the Beeman? You’d think it would be easy to find a bit of history on what is perhaps our most famous landmark in Beeston. You’d be wrong. There is a surprising dearth of information. Wikipedia tells us he is ‘George’, modelled on an anonymous sculptor’s father. I vaguely remember him appearing, back in the late eighties; reading about him in the Nottingham Evening Post as I trampled round my Stapleford paper round. I can remember how odd he seemed: a statue not where a statue should be; not on a plinth, looking imperious and arrogant; but sat, arm outstretched, impassive and accessible.

We chatted about the statue over several phone calls and emails. Commissioned by the Council as part of a major overhaul of what was then a grimy, unpedestrianised High Street, Sioban decided to create an icon; an imaginary Beestonian hero. A fan of puns, both visual and verbal, she used the bee motif with abandon, creating a stone apiarist with his hat, tools and hive. ‘‘I wanted something that could be walked through, bypassed, sat on, interacted with, yet not detract from a person’s journey down the highroad. I’m of the firm belief that public art should engage, and if done correctly should become part of the place, not stand aside from it”, she told me.

I was a bit lost when I decided to write about him, therefore. And this article might have just been a couple of lines saying ‘That beeman statue. Good, It’s not even called the Beeman, the Beekeeper, or even George. His official title is ‘The Beeston Seat’, focussing on the more innit?’ if I hadn’t stumbled accidently stumbled across an email address for Sioban Coppinger, the creator of the beeman while practical purpose of the piece, but it is unsurprising the looking for something else on the internet. I fired off an beeman has become the focal point. There is more to it It’s not called inquisitive email. than you might expect, however. Look closely in the the Beeman, the leaves and you’ll see more than leaves poking through The next day, I’m sitting in the Flying Goose café, reading a Beekeeper, or even the concrete foliage: “There are wrens hidden in the nineties poetry anthology written with the beeman in mind hedge; the idea is that young children will try and find George ‘Poems for the Beekeeper’, when she rings. Excellent timing. them, and two hidden fish, to say ‘things don’t have to be the way you imagine’”. The relationship between humans and bees was important. ‘It was only after completing the piece did I read how reliant on bees we are as a species. While the beekeeper has this seemingly symbiotic relationship with his hive, there is still that sense of danger, of the wild, these creatures bring us sweetness, but can sting. The piece was modelled not on her father, but her friend Steve Hodges ‘He’s a man who exudes the right air of calm. He came up for the official opening, and has been back since, posing for photos with his concrete form’ Is he bemused by his fame? ‘He takes it in his stride! He embodies the character perfectly though: gently acknowledging the celebrity status. He has that ability to sit there for decades, unflappable, absorb whatever surrounds him’.

He has become perhaps the most kissed man in Beeston He has become perhaps the most kissed man in Beeston, the most photographed, the most recognised. Yet he’s starting to look a little bit in need of some love. Cracks are showing: not the wrinkles of age but the wire mesh used to shape his body has started to become exposed after years of baking in summers, freezing in winters, as well as the wearing effect of a million hugs and drunken straddles. His nose has broke off, leaving a ‘ring’ that makes him look quite punk, slightly incongruous with his more passive position. Can anything be done to spruce him up. Well yes. I send Sioban some pictures of the erosion and damage, and she reckons he is easily fixable. What’s more, when the piece was commissioned part of the contract

stated that the piece should be kept in a decent condition, and the repairs done by the original artist if they were available. Perhaps it is time for us to get the council to act on this. As Beeston enters a new era, the most radical change since cars were banished from the main throughfare in 1987, our most famous icon and much loved petrified apiarist deserves a facelift. Broxtowe Borough Council, over to you. LB We’ve now amended Wikipedia and are in the process of compiling an archive for Beeston library, with scans of pictures from the piece being made and first erected, as well as contemporary news clippings of the reaction. We’ll be hosting these online soon, check our FB page for details.

Going Wild C

in Beeston

an Beeston Rylands really be the Centre of the Wildlife World....?

We are chuffed to launch a new monthly Aiming to raise 10 grand over the next few years, column from our friends they're already quarter of the way there. Thanks to down the Reserve, Beeston the incredible generosity of Beeston's premier Wildlife Group. This issue, they green grocer and fishmonger Fred Hallam Ltd, who talk about a certain Smiths fan have donated towards the fund to bring Nature into with sticky-up hair who we’ll our local schools. Along the way, Hallams have be interviewing for the become Green Guardians with the Nottinghamshire Wildlife Trust, the folks who run the amazing next issue….

There's definitely some who think so - that all-round nature good guy off the telly, Chris Packham for one. If you’ve spotted the posters around town and in the Attenborough Nature Centre, that other “centre” of the Wildlife World...if you can have more than one centre of anything, you'll know that Chris (Young CP to his mates) is back in Beeston again in December. This time at the Pearson Centre, 'cos there wasn't enough room to accommodate all his nature-crazed fans at the usual Beeston Wildlife Group venue at the Rylands Primary/Infants/Academy/School - or whatever they call these things these days. In my day it was much easier, just the little school, the big school and the end of education as we know it - Beeston Fields Secondary School for Boys – where survival was the name of the game.

But I digress.....when Young CP (note the cringe-inducing familiarity) met t'committee on his last trip to the Rylands, he bent their collective lug hole about the need to get kids out and about in the open air, away from their dastardly play stations. "Get them out there appreciating nature, taking some exercise and sniffing faecal matter": he said, or words to that effect. So, not wanting to risk the wrath of Young CP (getting sickening now I know!) or being set upon by Itchy & Scratchy (Springwatch cognoscenti will know of whom I speak) they've got on and done something.

Attenborough Nature Centre! So, if nature's your bag, get yourself down to the Rylands on a Monday evening, be where the Wild Lifers hang out. Watch for their posters to see what's on and when. You never know, one day it could be Sir Dave himself up there on the stage. Next month it’s, not the 70’s rock band - Don Henley & the guys’ rendition of Hotel California, unforgettable or what? – sorry drifting again. It’s the Golden variety, for the uninitiated amongst you, a humongous bird of prey. Yep, the Rylands is definitely the place to be if you're a sorry, naturalist! Mike Spencer, Beeston Wildlife Group.


GREY MATTER 1. What is hydrophobia more commonly known as (clue: it’s not the fear of water)?

6. Which former Olympic gold medallist lit the Olympic flame at Atlanta in 1996?

2. Of which country is Dakar the capital?

7. In which European country is the Blue Grotto?

3. What animal has Indian, African Black and Broad Lipped varieties?

8. What is the diameter of each dial on Big Ben – is it 31 ft, 23 ft or 10ft?

4. What is Europe’s largest inland port?

9. Which is the world’s smallest sovereign state?

5. Who won his 70th snooker title at the 1995 Regal Welsh Open?

11. Who wrote The Pilgrim’s Progress? 12. Which ship left England in December 1787 under the command of Captain William Bligh? 13. On the Monte Bello islands in 1952, the first British experiment of what kind of object took place? 14. During the 1950’s, who was the leader of the Blackshirts in Britain?

10. How many bridges are there across the River Thames – 20, 24 or 27?



33 Chilwell Rd. Beeston NG9 1EH 0115 9252323 NEW opening times: Thurs 10am - 7pm Fri 10am - 7pm Sat 9am - 4pm Sunday Brunch 2nd Sun of every month

Come and join us after 5pm for an early supper, food served until 6.30 on Thurs + Fri. We have a full beer, wines and cider list including our own range of flying goose ales. All ingredients are fair trade and organic where possible.

LIVE MUSIC THIS MONTH AT THE CROWN! Dixie Jack Unplugged Sunday 30 November, from 7pm The Crown Inn, Church Street, Beeston



uitars and their owners are funny things, after all when we get to the crux of it we are talking about the relationship between a person and some wood and metal, for electric guitarists throw in some magnets, a cable and a box of valves attached to a speaker. As the part owner of a guitar shop I have heard most of the whims and almost superstitious beliefs of the average guitarist.

I once got two of my own guitars stolen out the boot of my car. Gave up on ever seeing them, got a phone call the next day, they had turned up buried in a park in Long Eaton (oddly I have now moved there, yeah that’s me on the bench with the gold can). Odd … They came back to me.

So we have established that guitarists are basically a bunch of superstitious saddos with money problems and very conservative The amount of plank spankers who spend what seems their entire tastes. But wait, what if technology could get involved in this life and most of their money in search of the elusive sound, and give us more of a solid connection to the stories usually of someone else- If I told you some of the stories hidden in our instruments? What if this involved using relating to the hordes of I suppose now pensionable your mobile phone? Lets face it. You're stuck to it the You can imagine men, who chase the Hank Marvin sound, you may be rest of the fucking time it seems (really annoys me my surprise a few surprised (Swearing rant warning- I mean some of that in shops and restaurants). What if it involved QR weeks later to get a these tossers spend nearly a grand on reproductions codes? Even the CAMRA lot seem to have embraced phone call from said of 50’s echo units, and to be honest I could get a better these. In fact they are the only people I have seen Jazz guitarist Adrian sound hitting the guitar with my dick whilst plugged into actively use these codes. Who’d have thought it? Not a cornflakes box). Anyways the guitar market is a me obviously. I would have thought they would have Ingram conservative and strange affair- essentially we all still hanker been more concerned about drinking halves of Old after acoustic guitar designs that pre date the war and electric Ned’s Headsmasher and what shoe and sandal combo to guitar and amplifier designs from the 1950’s, we even still use valves wear next season. in amplifiers (ask your granddad - unless he is too busy bothering the neighbours with his version of Apache). Ladies and gentlemen let me present to you the Carolan guitar. A guitar with QR codes with a difference. The concept was that of Steve Benford, The other nice thing that occurs with the guitar community comes from guitarist and Professor at the mixed reality lab at the School of Computer the provenance and stories generated around our wooden friends. Science at Nottingham University. This guitar can tell you its own stories Whether it be B.B King and his guitar Lucille (named so, as B.B. had to through your permanently appended smart phone. Steve and his team rescue his guitar from a fire in a club, caused by two brawling men have already had video content made by the likes of Gypsy Jazz legen knocking over a gas lamp, and the woman’s name was …), or Willie Nelson Lulu Reinhardt (Yeah same family as Django). He even got some local and his battered guitar trigger (he intends to retire when the guitar no players involved at my shop, playing the guitar and giving their stories. To longer functions), they all have something to tell us. explain the concept a little better I will use some of the words from the blog of the guitar – Two of my personal favourites in this area relate to ones I have “This is possible because of a unique technology that hides experienced personally. For at least a couple of years I had digital codes within the decorative patterns adorning the a guitar in my shop that I was selling for a local collector. Ladies and instrument. These act somewhat like QR codes in the Every time he came in he ruminated over taking this sense that you can point a phone or tablet at them to guitar back as it had something about its sound. It also gentlemen let me access or upload information via the Internet. Unlike had allegedly previously belonged to renowned Jazz present to you the QR codes, however, they are aesthetically beautiful guitarist Adrian Ingram. The guitar made various trips to Carolan guitar. A and form a natural part of instrument’s decoration. and from my shop, when eventually financial necessity guitar... with a This unusual and new technology enables our guitar dictated its sale at a reduced price. I still couldn’t sell it, to build and share a ‘digital footprint’ throughout its difference even tried ebay. Then got some strange messages via lifetime, but in a way that resonates with both the ebay asking odd questions to no avail. aesthetic of an acoustic guitar and the craft of traditional luthiery.” You can imagine my surprise a few weeks later to get a phone call from said Jazz guitarist Adrian Ingram (google him; he is mighty good). For more information and to see and hear the guitar being played visit the He thought it may be his guitar and he wanted to buy it. More strange rather nice blog page stuff happened, but eventually he turned up, played the nails off it, showed Jimmy Wiggins me a black and white promo picture of him circa 1980 something with Sells guitars and stuff at The Guitar Spot, Chilwell Road and accepts said guitar, and then paid for it. On his way out he turned and nonchalantly pints from strangers in all pubs. said “That’s the third time I’ve had to buy it back”…. Weird.

Oxjam 2014

GigFest We are so


have been lucky enough to go to many classical concerts in beautiful churches and cathedrals in the last ten years. That’s the rhythm I have got into. I have seen a couple of bands from my youth, in smaller Nottingham venues recently, but cannot remember enjoying a popular concert in larger venues where the stars are pinpricks in the distance, the acoustics are dreadful and some person nearby is usually discordantly joining in. So, after a familiar evening at the fantastic Classical Oxjam, hubby and I decided to immerse ourselves in Oxjam the weekend after, turning up for the first performance at 11am and carrying on until we dropped. I put my wristband on 6 hours too early (due to excitement) and we started along a roughly pre determined route.

What a treat! The music was instead of listening to the news for a lucky to have fantastic. During the afternoon and change. some exceptional evening we met lots of people we people in our know, chatted to some we didn’t At the opening, neither political and soaked up the wonderful speaker appeared to thank the town environment of a community coming people who actually organised the together and enjoying the vast talent, passion event. So, I want to say THANK YOU – and and skill before us. After getting to Barton’s at 9ish, I know many other people have sent messages the limbs were getting weary and music getting directly to them expressing appreciation. We are louder, causing me to reflect upon why older people so lucky to have some exceptional people in our find loud music intolerable when really they should town, who are very inclusive regarding age and be able to cope with it better, due to dulled auditory culture - and very organised! ability. Whatever the science, the young have certainly realised loud music is an effective way of Along with the venues, they delivered such a grand getting rid of an older audience! We caved in at event and reminded me about why music making, around 9.30pm, but have kept in the zone every in all forms, is so nourishing. mCMA now and then since by popping on the Oxjam CD

Beeston best in Midlands... best in UK?


don’t need to tell you how good Oxjam was. You looked like you were enjoying it, all 1,500 who paid for a ticket, and the many more who enjoyed the free events in the day.

Of course, it’s not a competition: all money goes to vital causes in the UK and abroad. That fiver you spent on a wristband will go directly to combat Ebola in West Africa, refugees in Syria and poverty here.

A few figures that you might be interested in, however. We took around £12,500, well over our £7,500 target, and smashing what we assumed was a fluke of £10,000 last year. That’s quite a total, and makes us the best in the whole of the Midlands: Beeston took more than Birmingham, Leicester et al.

There are too many people to thank in such a small space, so we’d just like to say a group CHEERS! to all. For one day we showed the best of Beeston: a thriving, vibrant town that loves nothing better than having a good time, whipping up a storm on the dancefloor and chucking the hard-earned at a great cause. We’ll see you next year. Watch your back, Glastonbury.

Hello! I’m back! Had a GREAT time - we hiked up to ...

Ok... Why are you dressed up like a pervert?



You were supposed to get a JOB!

Is that a worm in a condom? Where’s my present?


Selecta I

Tim Pollard is weird - I found a page about ‘the like Star Trek (proper Star Trek, Pollards of Beeston’ (www.beestonwith Captain Kirk in it, not the Nottingham’s and thought new-fangled ‘Voyager’ and the Official Robin I’d struck gold as it refers to a like). I also like Doctor Who, even Hood... Cromwell House and a John the new stuff with Peter Capaldi as Pollard who was alive in the 1980’s he makes a great Doctor even if but scarily they were entirely different some of his stories are a bit… erm… Pollards, nothing to do with teleutterly rubbish. Anyone see the one with Robin Hood in it? Preposterous tosh, not like the good communications, Plessey or us – they were in old days with Jon Pertwee, the Brigadier and the lace making business, they were the Pollard’s after which Pollard Court (near Sainsbury’s) was UNIT. Anyway, like Ronnie Corbett, I digress. named and they owned the Swiss Mills building One of the staples of TV science fiction is the on Wollaton Road, scant yards from where I now ‘parallel universe’ where things are almost the live. There’s even a photo on the page showing same as ‘our’ universe but there’s some subtle their ‘Cromwell House’ too – but a very subtley (or blatant) changes – the wrong side won different one from the one I know. WWII, the tram was actually finished on time and under budget or our local MP has an evil I was bemused, confused and genuinely a little twin (or a nice one, depending on what universe thrown… you think we’re actually in). Baddies tend to have What are the chances of there being two John goatees too. Pollards living in a very similar looking ‘Cromwell But that all became a little too real a concept a House’ in Beeston at the same time, and why while ago when my partner Sal and I started haven’t we heard of each other before? Are we talking about my family tree. Her Mum, Joy, is a related? Are the records of ‘my’ family Joy found great and enthusiastic amateur genealogist and it the right one – or are we researching some odd was almost entirely down to her research that we parallel universe? We're still working on it – but managed to track down my birth mother - and if you see me next time sporting a smart looking but evil goatee, just be warned… even get to meet her - just over a year ago. But although being adopted meant extra work for Joy (two families to research) it turned up some really odd facts… my (adopted) Dad, John Pollard and his wife Paula brought me up in a large and lovely house Cromwell House – on Cromwell Road in Beeston until his death in 1987. Dad used to work for Plessey and even had a building (‘Pollard’s Palace’) named after him, although as with most buildings on the site it’s long gone and now just a car park. (Then again most of Beeston is just one big car park these days, moving vehicles are just a distant memory most of the time). I thought I’d try and help Joy out in her research and went online to see if I could find anything out, and here’s where it got

Tim Pollard

The Beestonian is... Editor/Lead Writer/Founder • Lord Beestonia Co-Founder/Resident Don • Prof J Design • Dan Associate Editor • Christian Editorial Assistance • Mel History Editor • Joe Earp Top-notch contributors this issue: Tim Smedley, Joe Earp, Chris Fox, Jimmy Notts, Tim Pollard, Jimmy Slideboy Wiggins, Jenny Gammon, Mike Spencer, Ric Salinger, mCMA and Deman. Printed by Pixels & Graphics, Beeston

Stockists: Belle & Jerome, The Hop Pole, The Crown, The White Lion, The Star, The Greyhound, Flying Goose, Mish Mash Gallery, Attik, The Guitar Spot, Relish, Broadgate Laundrette, Bubba Tea, The Bean, Beeston Library, Cafe ROYA, Newsagent on Chilwell Road, Metro, Beeston Marina Bar and Cafe, Attenborough Nature Reserve. Huge thanks to all of our contributors, sponsors, stockists, regular readers and anyone who has picked this up for the first time. Scan QR code & subscribe to Lord Beestonia’s blog:

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Profile for The Beestonian

Beestonian issue 32  

The Beeston Cinema / Prehistoric Beeston / The Beeston Seat; An Appreciation / Bow Selecta / Bears of Beeston / Uni Volunteers /Too Hot to H...

Beestonian issue 32  

The Beeston Cinema / Prehistoric Beeston / The Beeston Seat; An Appreciation / Bow Selecta / Bears of Beeston / Uni Volunteers /Too Hot to H...