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Sept 2018





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WELCOME TO SEPTEMBER 2018... OH, HOW HAPPY WE ARE! Words Dan and James Hutton


elcome to the September 2018 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s Beaches of the East. Winter is over. The City2Surf has been run. Spring hath sprung. Children have been seen dancing in the streets in nary a swatch of cloth, spraying one another with garden hoses as they frolic in the dappled light. The wistful birdsong of winter has been replaced by a chorus of rapturous joy as our feathered friends prepare their nests in anticipation of the season’s new arrivals. Oh, how happy we are that the frigid fingers of the year’s middle months will no longer horripilate our pasty skin. Don’t it just make you feel all... poetic? Well, if it’s poetry you’re after you’ve come to the wrong place, because The Beast, as you well know, is all about hard hitting


journalism, and we’ve got plenty of that for you in this here edition. There’s Dan’s final instalment in his three-part ‘Hotel Chernobyl’ series, Duncan Horscroft’s fact-finding piece on the soft board ban that was allegedly slated for North Bondi, Siriol Dafydd’s informative articles on the upcoming Randwick Eco-Living Expo, Bondi2Berry Ride to Remember and a local lad’s big Bali dance festival, Eve Matheson’s editorial on John Walton and his new recruitment website Pickle, and Tara Hayes’ explanation of the new Airbnb laws. Roosters rookie and Eastern Suburbs local Victor ‘The Inflictor’ Radley is gracing this month’s cover and he also features in our monthly interview inside. Bring on spring. We love youse all. Have a great month! Dan and James - Publishers



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September 2018 Issue 164 08 Welcome Note

43 Trade Directory

64 Sporting Life

12 Pearls of Wisdom

54 Marjorie's Musings

68 Travel Bug

11 Contents

14 Monthly Mailbag 18 Local Bloke

20 Local Chick

22 Thumbs and Dogs 24 Local News 42 Calendar

44 Interview 55 Beastpops

56 Unreliable Guide 58 Con Gestion 60 Fish ‘n’ Tips 61 Tide Chart 62 Sexy Time

Blood Moon at Waverley Cemetery, by Colin DeCosta. Instagram: @colindecosta.

66 Enviro News 72 Local Photos

74 Food & Wine 78 Reviews

80 Trivial Trivia

82 Beardy From Hell 82 Trivia Solutions

Subtle as a sledgehammer.

GET READY FOR THE BIG REVEAL Words Pearl Bullivant Picture Sudah Penuh


lthough you would never catch Pearl watching a reality TV series, it seems that every time I flick through the commercial channels I am confronted by trailers announcing ‘The big reveal’, ‘The reveal that will shock Australia’, ‘Bimbo and Bimbette’s stunning bathroom reveal’, ‘Agro twins and loved-up couple go head-to-head in kitchen reveal’. And since I spend my gin-addled evenings on the sofa hoping that my husband will read me Homer when instead he is wrestling control of the remote, it took the usually astute Pearl a long time to cotton on to what a ‘reveal’ actually is. I consulted the Webster Dictionary, which defined ‘reveal’ as ‘to make known through divine inspiration’, and since divine inspiration is not usually associated with commercial television I decided that if a reveal could shock Australia it must be something truly vile, like Clive Palmer revealing his stomach in public. For those as ignorant as Pearl, the reveal is part of Channel Nine’s renovation program, The Block. Apparently The Block and its ilk are

12 The Beast | September 2018

extremely popular with the masses. The Block and its ilk are also part of Australia’s ill-placed obsession and fantasy with all things housing. Browse through lifestyle magazines such as Vogue Living or Home Beautiful to see the vanities of upper-middle class Australians who love the opportunity to one-up their peers by revealing the ‘must haves’ of pretentious and affluent home ownership - such as the relaxation hub, the wet room and the outdoor room - in full magazine gloss. Feel the envy as a doublebarrelled-surname couple extol the ‘authenticity’ of their Noosa weekender ‘which reflects the family and ticks all the mental boxes’, creating a serendipitous retreat from their harrowed Eastern Suburbs life. You too can attain this level of sophistication central with a $2 million interest-only mortgage or a large inheritance. The perfect blondes with their perfect homes gazing out of the TV and magazine pages are far from the reality of home ownership and housing aesthetics in Australia. Drive through Sydney

and view the over-priced concrete cancer version of home ownership imposed on us by greedy property developers in the name of ‘addressing the shortage in affordable housing stock’. Cringe as statistics show that 85 per cent of these new apartments have defects and 70 per cent have leaks, with owners bearing the cost of shoddy work because developers have weaseled their way out of liability by convincing the state government that any onus will impact on construction industry jobs and the developers’ massive profits. Become confused when any fall in property prices is bemoaned by economists and the media, rather than being celebrated as a win for first homebuyers. The Vogue Australia family may have fallen in love with their 1960s beach shack (after looking at five houses in one afternoon), but the truth is that Australia’s short architectural heritage, along with its green space, is being permanently wiped from our streets with no trade union Green Bans to save it from fat developers and greedy real estate agents. That is the true reveal.

THE BEAST'S MONTHLY MAILBAG Words The People of the Eastern Suburbs CHARLIE TEO BROUGHT TO LIFE Thanks for the Charlie Teo article this month. The length of your article really helped me get a feel for what he’s about. He used the term “disruptor” to describe his new charity, and I think this term really captures him. I’m a doctor, and have to admit that I often hear that “he’s a cowboy” - actually that seems to be what a lot of people in healthcare think of him. I’m still not sure about his argument about autonomy and choice. Sure, in theory, people have a right to choose, but at the pointy end of life and facing operate or die (with terrible odds) the issue of choice is tough. I hope that there are transparent and thoughtful discussions about why people choose to pursue an operation (for example, what about family pressure?) and what role ego (both the surgeons’ and the patients’) plays in the path they choose. Charlie certainly sounds like a reflective and thoughtful man and I’m sure he brings this to those tough discussions. Thanks again for this article guys, it brought to life a person who is often criticised (in my world) but rarely engaged with. Anna Coogee CHARLIE'S LAMENT Charlie Teo certainly knows how to get under people's skin but you can't fault the man for his brilliance, candour and ability to survive under adverse conditions 14 The Beast | September 2018

(Finding the Right Balance, The Beast, August 2018). While it's unlikely the entire neurosurgeon cohort is as Machiavellian as he implies, I'm sure most, including Charlie himself, have messianic tendencies, which would make it difficult to work collaboratively with others, let alone acknowledge their own shortcomings. How could you blame them though; these folks save lives every day literally with their bare hands! David Beins Randwick JIBBERER NOT A JABBERER Do you realise the vaccine used for HPV has not been tested for carcinogenic or genotoxic potential, meaning they do not know if it causes cancer or destructs DNA? Don’t know about you, but I’m a bit skeptical about something that is supposed to prevent cancer but hasn’t been tested to see if it causes it. Do you realise that death is listed as an adverse effect of the vaccine given for measles/mumps/ rubella. These diseases are obviously horrible, but I would much rather risk infertility than death, wouldn’t you? It seems the flu shot has given more people I know a worse strain of flu this year, with a Bond University doctor, Professor Del Mar, stating that “annual influenza vaccinations do little to protect against serious illness”. “My viewing of the evidence is that the amount of benefit for influenza vaccine is very, very weak

and it makes me think that this is not a great use of our effort in trying to immunise large swathes of the population when there are other opportunities that may be more effective,” he said. Simple hygiene methods such as hand washing, face masks and quarantine, as well as sterilisation of public places like buses and trains, were some of his suggestions. So in going with your example of the grandma (Parents Putting Children at Risk Just to Fit In, The Beast, August 2018), it seems this year’s flu shot has a high potential of actually giving you a pretty bad case of the flu or some mutant strain (that you’d likely pass on to her). So again, I’d rather risk the possibility of natural infection than the almost certainty of whatever nasty mutation the flu shot conjures up. The organic, home-cooked food I choose to nourish my family with goes a long way in protecting us and our immune system. I know it isn’t a fail-safe method, but in my cost/benefit analysis I feel a lot safer NOT vaccinating my child. Have you taken the time to read a vaccine insert lately and look at further studies? Or have you just regurgitated what the media, pharma companies or lecturers have told you without investigating for yourself ? I no longer believe that vaccines can take the credit for eradicating any diseases. They were already on the decline before the introduction of vaccines. You’d know that if you had investigated for yourself. We have never had widespread vaccination for scarlet fever or typhoid, yet they are no longer a threat - amazing what sanitation can do (the lack of which is the cause of the condition in your chosen image, not the lack of vaccinations). I may not have lived through the ‘polio era’, but I am living in a time with a different kind of epidemic. People are sicker than ever with autoimmune diseases, deadly allergies, neurological problems and cancer. We cannot cling to a controversial problem of the past to make crucial decisions for today.


THE ORIGINAL. THE BEST. The Hub, between Hall St and O’Brien St, Bondi Beach

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We have to do something about the problems we are currently faced with, and fear mongering into giving more vaccinations is not a solution when they have been a contributing cause. I’m honestly so sick of the ‘guilt trip’ attacks. Do you feel powerful jumping on the bandwagon? I bet you don’t harass people that check food labels and decide not to give certain foods to their kids because of listed ingredients and the associated risk of diabetes or obesity, but when the risk is death you’ll line right up? Angie Another planet AFFIRMATIVE ACTION Thanks The Beast for alerting me to the issue with Gertrude & Alice. The bookstore is a Bondi institution. I enjoy going and meeting friends surrounded by books and activity. I made various enquiries at Council about what has occurred after reading The Beast article. Apparently a resident complained about the safety of the bookshelf, concerned that it might fall over. This resulted in Council’s compliance staff inspecting and ruled that it was not permitted and must be removed. I had been aware of the bookshelf for a long time but considered it a very minor matter. Council has for many years regulated that both milk crates and bread crates should not be left out for extended periods, so when the bookshelf was replaced with milk crates full of books the compliance officers used a literal reading of this regulation and asked for removal. After seeing your article I contacted Jane Turner, the owner of Gertrude & Alice, and met with her at the shop on a very busy Saturday morning. Jane loves books and hates to see them wasted. I then asked Council’s senior staff to work out a solution to allow Gertrude & Alice to put some free books out for the public to take. Council already does this with the placement of ‘street libraries’ in parks for people to put and take free books out. The picture is from a little pocket park next to Bondi Beach public school. 16 The Beast | September 2018

I have asked officers to examine this as an option for Jane’s shop. This would allow 24/7 access to the free books (as it does now in public areas). I also requested Council staff to look at placing a bigger one of our street libraries on the corner of Consett Avenue and Hall Street, which Gertrude & Alice can also put books into. If all is acceptable with Council’s various sections of compliance, planning and street maintenance, then we should see parts or all of these options in place within eight weeks. This should provide enough storage for a good number of Jane’s books, provided free to residents and visitors, while fulfilling Council’s aims of liveable and diverse neighbourhoods. In the end, hopefully a good outcome after several difficult weeks for Jane and her shop. John Wakefield Mayor of Waverley

ABANDONED ON OUR STREETS I'd like to ask The Beast locals if anyone has a solution to the increasing number of (unregistered) vehicles being abandoned on our streets? I live on Gildethorpe Avenue, Randwick, just off Frenchmans Road. I've lived here for 14 months, during which time I've received two parking tickets for having my small hatchback parked slightly (approximately one foot) over a driveway. The tickets were issued by a busy Randwick Council parking ranger. The parking on the street is a problem at the best of times, however it's being made worse by

the growing number of vehicles/ trailers/vans being dumped here. I’ve called the council and emailed them several times in the last year, including a growing photo album of such vehicles. They kindly responded but refused to deal with the issue and suggested I take it up with the police. Last week whilst chatting to a neighbour I was informed that a similar situation last year resulted in the torching (setting on fire) of a car, which was then towed away. Surely the council can deal with these vehicles and allow us residents to park free of fear from: a) a parking ticket; or b) a second street torching. Ironically, one of the neighbours parks her council vehicle across the road (whenever possible) and was equally as frustrated as the rest of us. Perhaps Randwick Council doesn't have Waverley police station’s phone or email details? Rob Randwick FOLLOW THE MONEY When I was but a lad, I was miffed at all those dreadful NIMBYs in Bondi who supposedly stopped the Eastern Suburbs rail line from going all the way to the beach. As an Eastern Suburbs resident I thought it was just dreadful how all those poor parents trying to go to the beach by rail with children had to transfer their little kiddies and all their associated beach gear to the bus and vice versa on the way home. What a disincentive. Then one day, an old feller said to me: "Even if you can’t see all of the elephant, but you can see the tip of an elephant’s trunk in one place and its tail in another location, where the tail might be expected, it might be reasonable to assume there is an elephant there." So I learnt to follow the money. And where does the money go? Why Bondi Junction, of course! Everybody has to get off there. Thank you Nifty. Very. I'm sure nothing like that ever happens these days. Doug Waverley


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What music are you into at the moment? Everything from Jimmy Buffett to Kendrick Lamar and even Lana Del Ray - anything that makes you want to dance. Who is your favourite person? I have a few so it’s hard to choose; my beautiful mother, my boys and my lovely lady. What do you get up to on the weekends? Breakfast and a juice at Sejuiced Bondi, reading a good book in the sunshine, jumping off flat rock with the boys, surfing at North Bondi, watching the footy in the afternoon, a beer in the sunshine at The Bucket List and a steak and pony at Bondi Beach Public Bar.

Enthusiasm is contagious.

LOCAL BLOKE... ANDY RUWALD FROM NORTH BONDI Interview and Picture James Hutton


f you’ve ever been out for a drink in Bondi then you’ll recognise the friendly face of Andy Ruwald, the brains behind Bondi institutions Sejuiced and The Bucket List. Andy shares his local favourites with The Beast... How long have you lived here? I’ve been around these parts for as long as I can remember. Why do you live here? It’s the best place on the planet and I love our community. My children go to school here and I enjoy watching them thrive in this amazing environment. What’s your favourite beach? Bondi, without a doubt. It’s just got everything I need and I feel very lucky to live here. 18 The Beast | September 2018

What’s your favourite eatery? The Bucket List, Bondi - there’s nothing quite like it anywhere in the world. Where do you like to have a drink? My new local, Bondi Beach Public Bar. The minute steak and the schnitzel are next level. Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? The diversity, lifestyle, food and culture here are incredible. Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? I’m a super positive person but the Indian mynas are driving me nuts at The Bucket List. Do you have a favourite sporting team? The Roosters and the Sydney Swans - incredible athletes and they are top blokes as well.

What do you do for work? I live and breathe my work. My office is Bondi Beach and I’m thankful every day to call The Bucket List my workplace. My second favourite place in the world is Bali and I’m really enjoying working on my new project there, Tropicola. It will be a beach club, restaurant, bar and mansion/hotel all in one, right on the beach at Seminyak! Mexicola is already such an enjoyable experience for all and I’m excited to see us open another unreal venue in Bali. What’s your favourite thing about work? People coming to Bondi Beach and experiencing one of the best beach bar/restaurants in the world. The same goes for Bali; happy people and smiles on faces. Do you have a favourite quote? “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” - Oscar Wilde. Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? A lot of people said The Bucket List would not work but I always thought the community needed an institution that was positive, safe and individual to our Bondi. We gave it a good go and I believe The Bucket List has served the community overall and has contributed to a better Bondi for everyone.



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September 2018 | The Beast 19

and their kids on the Saturday night, and there’s usually some sort of sports for the girls, parties and visits to the parks. What music are you into at the moment? I love to jiggle to a bit of hip hop. Who is your favourite person? My favourite people are my husband Sam and my two little girls, Gemma and Holly.

No more corporate world for Helen.

LOCAL CHICK... HELEN KANG FROM WAVERLEY Interview and Picture James Hutton


averley’s Helen Kang has lived in the Eastern Suburbs for 20 years and started her own business, Free State Accessories, which allows women to be hands-free but connected to their phones. She shares her local favourites with The Beast... How long have you lived here? I’ve been in the Eastern Suburbs for 20 years, but grew up in the Inner West. Why do you live here? Why would you live anywhere else? Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? The beaches, Centennial Park, the cafes and shops, the short commute into the city - it’s got everything. Where do you like to have a drink? Our local, the Charo. 20 The Beast | September 2018

What's your favourite beach? Bronte Beach - a five-minute run from my house, or 20 minutes with the kids. What's your favourite eatery? Cafe Sorelle for its gorgeous and friendly service - they make you feel like family.

What do you do for work? I left the corporate world to start up my own business. I worked in telecommunications for 17 years and always wondered why phone cases were so ugly and daggy, as well as so easy to lose and damage (cracked screens anyone?). I wanted to design something that allowed women to be hands-free but connected to their phones, which are now an essential part of our daily lives. Free State Accessories was born: a phone wallet on a strap - beautiful tactile leathers and minimalist clean lines with adjustable and swappable straps and chains. What's your favourite thing about work? Not wearing heels! Seriously, though, I love being in complete control of my business, learning something new every single day, not having pointless meetings, getting to choose who I work with and getting to be more involved in my girls’ weekdays.

Do you have a favourite sporting team? No, I don’t really follow any sport.

Do you have a favourite quote? “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.” Amelia Earhart.

What do you get up to on the weekends? We prioritise family. We have breakfast together on Saturday mornings, usually in Charing Cross, and take the girls to visit both sets of grandparents. We try to organise dinner with friends

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? We’re so incredibly lucky to live in this beautiful part of the world. I love the sense of community that’s here if you seek it and make the local connections. We’re all very blessed!

Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Trying to get out - the traffic is pretty bad!

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September 2018 | The Beast 21

RIPPLE Age 2 years Sex Female Breed Staffy X Weight 18.5kg Ripple is a shy girl, quite timid at times but not aggressive at all. She walks nicely on a loose lead with a little encouragement, ignoring cars and other dogs. She enjoys cuddles and sits on command. She would suit an adult home and would appreciate a garden to romp in. Ripple comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Also included for the love and wellbeing of Ripple is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For more details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email Philip Van C*nt.

THUMBS UP WHO IS AMERICA? Sacha Baron Cohen has returned and he is back to his best. If you don’t have Stan, it may be time to get a subscription for this show alone. THE PBS Anyone with an ongoing ailment that requires regular medication should be thankful for this fantastic scheme. For many people, it is quite literally a life saver. FAMILY In times of crisis it’s so important to have good people around you, whether that be immediate family, close friends, neighbours or the bloke who makes your coffee. THE SMH CROSSWORD As far as we’re concerned, there is no better way to start the day than with a flat white (one sugar), an almond croissant and the SMH crossword.

THUMBS DOWN BLACK OUTS Power cuts are bloody annoying, particularly when you’re on deadline and need a good Internet connection. Thank Christ for red wine, candles and acoustic guitars. PUBLIC TRANSPORT DELAYS Catching public transport is punishing enough when your bus or train runs on time, so when it’s late (which it often is) it’s okay to vandalise something. FAKE NEWS Restricting surf craft to an eversmaller section of Bondi Beach is never going to happen, the hysterical overreaction to this fake news story has been quite disturbing. 22 The Beast | September 2018

TRUDY Age 3 years Sex Female Breed Lab X Shepherd Weight 29.6kg Trudy is a strong and active girl. She is sweet with people and social with other dogs. She would suit a family with older children as she can sometimes get overexcited. Trudy walks well on a loose lead, ignoring cars and other dogs. She enjoys cuddles and would suit a family working full-time. Trudy comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Also included for the love and wellbeing of Trudy is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For more details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email

MARLEY Age 5-6 years Sex Male Breed Staffy X Lab Weight 26.2kg Marley is a gentle boy. He is very friendly but can get a little scared around cars. He is good with kids and would suit a family with older children. He is social with other dogs and likes to jump up to lick people. Marley has occasional seizures, which are treated with inexpensive medication. Marley comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Also included for the love and wellbeing of Marley is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For more details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email

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Dan and Delilah.

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS Words Dan Hutton Picture James Hutton


earing the word ‘remission’ is a great thing for any cancer sufferer, but for some reason rather than bringing me an overwhelming sense of relief, it increased my fear of the other r-word all too familiar to many cancer patients – ‘relapse’. To prevent the second r-word from occurring (it’s pretty common with my particular lymphoma) I had a lot of chemotherapy still in front of me – several months of the tough stuff and then two years of comparatively mild maintenance therapy – as well as a couple of weeks of radiation on my scone (at least, so I thought). After my first month of intensive induction chemo I was given a break of about three weeks. It was 24 The Beast | September 2018

quite a strange time, as I was feeling rather awful and suffering from a bunch of side effects that I was yet to become familiar with and which were all a bit worrying. My heart rate was out of control, I couldn’t sleep as my mind constantly raced, I felt nauseous every time I ate (and even more often than that), I’d be completely out of breath walking up a small set of stairs, and my mouth was often full of ulcers and blood blisters. At one stage all of the taste buds on my tongue completely vanished, leaving its surface as smooth as an ice rink. As my treatment went on I realised that the majority of these side effects would dissipate over time, or come and go, and others

could be sorted out with a transfusion of blood. Something normally foreign like popping into hospital to receive a bag of blood product became pretty commonplace. I tried to ween myself off as many medications as possible in the times I spent out of hospital. The antiemetic drugs were handy to break the cycle of nausea, but I didn’t want to become reliant on them. Unfortunately giving up the lorazepam, a super addictive benzodiazepine, wasn’t so easy. Without it I simply couldn’t sleep and the lack of shut-eye was hampering my recovery. I’m still actually taking it now, but I’ve cut down to half a milligram and hope to give it away altogether in the coming weeks.

The seven or so months from November to May were split between hospital and home - ten stays in total, nine of which lasted about five days and one longer 22-day stint in February between the sixth and seventh short stint. Each time I was in hospital I had some different chemical concoction to look forward to. Some were worse than others, but none were particularly pleasant. With the benefit of hindsight, I think the high dose methotrexate was the worst of the medications I received during this part of my treatment. They’d pump 5500mg of the stuff into me over a 24-hour period, then I’d be given folinic acid every six hours to reverse its effects until it was flushed out of my system with the help of multiple sacks of sodium bicarbonate solution. Without the folinic acid recovery, the high dose methotrexate leads to bone marrow toxicity and death, so I was always a bit on edge making sure that the nurses didn’t mess up my meds. I also copped a hit of the dreaded L-asparginase during this chemo block (which I mentioned in last month’s article). I’d spend the best part of three days connected to various drips and it completely destroyed my insides. I had this on three separate occasions and it seemed to get worse each time. I was out of hospital for Christmas but back in the day after Boxing Day, and New Year’s Eve was spent curled up in my bed in St Vincent’s with my family and my brother and his girlfriend. A bunch of the chemo patients and their families and friends went up to the top floor of the hospital to watch the fireworks, but I was so nauseous I couldn’t move from my prone position. Every break from hospital was filled with blood tests, nausea and a considerable amount of anxiety. When your immune system is shot you have to be careful what you eat and who you hang around, avoid any scratches or abrasions and regularly monitor your temperature, your weight, your urine and

your ‘stools’. Every ache and pain seems to be amplified as your mind wanders straight towards worstcase scenarios. By now I had not a hair on my body, bar a few sparse eyelashes and eyebrows. I looked every bit the cancer patient. Thankfully my weight was under control and after all this chemo I had another PET scan that showed I was still in remission. Better still, the radiation I thought I had to have on my brain was no longer necessary, replaced instead by a couple of extra lumbar punctures, which I was well and truly used to. As I write this I’m about eight weeks into my maintenance chemo and feeling pretty good. Life is slowly getting back to normal. I’m working again (though my output is nowhere near as high as it was before I got crook), I’ve started exercising (as my weight has blown out to about 82kg and I’m looking pretty chubby) and I’m pulling my weight with the household chores. There are a lot of people to thank for getting me to where I am today. When I think back a year I really didn’t know if I’d still be around to write this. I still don’t know if I’ll be treading this mortal coil this time next year, but I feel a lot more confident about my chances. The doctors and nurses at St Vincent’s have been incredible, particularly my haematologist Dr John Moore, all the haematology residents and registrars (especially Georgia, Adrian and Prue), and Dr Philip Spratt, who conducted the initial surgery to remove the tumour from my chest. These guys quite literally saved my life. The team work of my brother James and my partner Georgie was also amazing. Together the two of them made sure that I was fed and kept company in my many hospital stays. They organised visitors when I was up for them and kept them at bay when I wasn’t. James kept the business running while I was out of action and Georgie did the same with the family side of things. I love them both unconditionally anyway, but I guess the experience somehow solidified things. My gratitude

is immeasurable and it’s something I will never be able to repay. My in-laws, Terry and Trish, have also been a great help throughout this ordeal. Their townhouse in Darlinghurst, a fiveminute walk from the hospital, has become a second home to my family and I. They’ve cooked, cleaned and helped care for my children and for that I will be forever grateful. My mum has also gone above and beyond, coming up from Melbourne whenever possible to stay with my family and help out around the house. It’s always nice to have an extra set of hands when you have two young children, and they seem to love the extra attention (and presents!). This is probably a good time to also thank all my friends, clients and random acquaintances who cared enough about my battle to come and visit, call, message, or send care packages or food vouchers of some sort. Even the responses to my social media posts are much appreciated. It’s just great to know that people give a stuff about you when you’re going through a rough trot. The final thankyou, and I’m sure there are many that I have forgotten, goes to my landlords and neighbours, Georg and Chan. We’d only first met a month or two before I was diagnosed but they welcomed us into their neighbourhood with open arms - collecting mail, mowing lawns, putting bins out, entertaining the kids and feeding us all sorts of delicious fare. It’s great to know that there are humans like these in the world. To wrap this up, I’m currently doing really well and feeling better than I had hoped. This is the last you’ll hear from me about my medical dramas and from here on in I’ll get back to writing about things of greater interest to The Beast readers, the important things like dog poo droppers, parking rangers, council rates, westie blow-ins, traffic, inconsiderate neighbours and crazy real estate prices. Onwards and upwards, as they say. September 2018 | The Beast 25

BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Lisa Anderson Picture Samuel Frisby Instagram @_chance_the_snapper RANDWICK WINS COMMS AWARDS Randwick Council was recently recognised by peak body Local Government NSW for its excellence in communications at the 2018 RH Dougherty Awards, winning three out of four categories. The awards, judged by communications experts, recognise outstanding communication by councils to their local communities. Randwick Council won the Reporting to the Community award for Randwick E-news, the weekly electronic newsletter sent out to more than 42,000 residents. Council’s Rock Fishing Safety Education campaign was joint winner for the Excellence in Communication award, and the Best Gift Christmas Markets took home the Innovation in Special Events award. RANDWICK BOYS' REUNION The Randwick Boys High School Class of 1958 are keen for a catchup. Their 60-year reunion will be held on Friday, November 16 at Eastern Suburbs Leagues Club and they would like to contact as many of the students from that year as possible. Please call Robert Finikiotis on 9389 8844 or email for info.

Maroubra shorey.

ROCK & ROLL AT THE OPERA HOUSE ‘Sons of Sun – Elvis, Jerry Lee, Johnny and Me’ by Melbourne playwright Kieran Carroll is a rock and roll play about Sun Records, Memphis in the 1950s, and the artists that started their careers there. Sydney actors Matthew Charleston, Ben Maclaine and Bondi’s Victoria Beck join a threepiece live band fronted by John Kennedy, performing 35 songs from Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and many more, as the wild story of Sam Phillips and Sun Records unfolds. It plays at the Opera House on September 7 and 8. Go to www.sydneyoperahouse. com for tickets. LET’S GO SURFING EARNS ECO CERTIFICATION Bondi business Let’s Go Surfing has achieved an Ecotourism Certification from Ecotourism Australia for its surf and SUP schools. Brenda Miley started Let’s Go Surfing out of the back of a Kombi van on Bondi Beach in 1995 as an idea to encourage more women into surfing. The business strives to achieve its environmental goals by making positive changes in its daily operations including being plastic

bag free, using environmentallyfriendly wetsuit washing products, working with third party suppliers to minimise plastic usage, receiving surfboards and wetsuits in biodegradable packaging, choosing lower emission vehicles, limiting water usage, recycling in all locations, providing its team with reusable water bottles and coffee cups, and organising environmental talks with student groups. Please visit REALITY OR MAGIC AT SYDNEY FRINGE Clovelly local Liam Power is back with his new magic show at Marrickville’s Factory Theatre from September 4 to 9. Normally when you watch a magic show, you think: “If only I was up there next to the magician, I bet I could figure out how it all works!” Now you get the best seat in the house at the theatre’s most intimate venue, where no one is more than a few metres from the magic. Audiences can expect a show featuring a mix of mesmerising sleight of hand magic and ‘mindreading’ tricks performed right under their noses. The show is aimed at adults but is suitable for children. For tickets, visit

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September 2018 | The Beast 27

Surfers and a ski paddler at North Bondi back in 1929.

SOFT BOARD BAN NOT BASED ON HARD FACTS Words Duncan Horscroft Picture Kelly Slater


t seems the innuendo surrounding the potential banning of soft surf craft in the patrolled area of North Bondi has been taken out of context, with Waverley Mayor John Wakefield saying there will be no such action taken. The ground swell grew following a complaint by a group of swimmers about the potential dangers of soft board surfing between the flags. But despite the furore, Cr Wakefield has said there “is no plan or proposal to ban soft boards”. In a recent interview with that ‘other local publication’ it was suggested that Cr Wakefield believed the lifeguards weren’t being vigilant enough in their duties in policing surf craft. “This is not true – swimmers individually and as groups have been complaining about safety concerns for many years,” Cr Wakefield told The Beast. “They don’t blame the lifeguards, nor do Council, nor do I.” A survey on the Waverley Council website initially suggested all surf craft with fins be moved 28 The Beast | September 2018

to the southern end of the beach where dangerous rips prevail. “The paragraph in the survey about moving boards to the southern end is not the intention and should not have been published in the survey,” he said. “This is why it was modified. The survey is part of an annual risk review of lifeguard services and beach safety. “I do believe that there needs to be a greater vigilance on boards between the flags. My appraisal is not a criticism of individual lifeguards or the service as a whole. It is a focus on supporting our staff to be able to address community concerns in the face of changing conditions, evolving community expectations, and their impacts on work practices.” The new Council survey states that “Council staff have no record of administering first aid as a result of collision between soft board surfers and bathers between the flags”, which would suggest the lifeguards are doing their job. “My understanding is that only very limited and inconsistent statistics are collected,” Cr Wakefield said.

“One of our aims is to collate safety and injury statistics and use that information to improve service delivery as well as lobby the state and federal governments for more funding for our beaches.” Local lifeguards, who have put Waverley Council in the world spotlight with the award-winning Bondi Rescue television series, were up in arms about the suggestion they are not doing their jobs properly. One former lifeguard said the main problem was that Council doesn’t have a thorough knowledge of what happens on the beach. “There has been no consultation with the professionals as to what is involved in beach management and Council needs to have an understanding of the guidelines surrounding the risk and safety procedures on the beach,” he said. Cr Wakefield said the lifeguards were regularly consulted and “Council staff are not being blamed by Council”. The former lifeguard said there have been more incidents of bodysurfers and swimmers colliding than there have been with surf craft, but the mayor said there were no statistics being properly collected on those issues. Bondi Beach, which is now a National Surfing Reserve, has been the breeding ground for many surfing champions and most of the older brigade learned their skills on the original foam Coolite boards, which were allowed between the flags. But these have been replaced with more modern ‘foamies’, which come in a wide range of sizes and have fins, and, along with bodyboards, are considered a no-no between the flags, which carry ‘No Surf Craft’ signs. North Bondi plays host to a strong contingent of Nippers who learn on hard and soft paddleboards during the summer season, and the local surf school provides a learning facility also on soft boards with fins. “This is true and is one of the main reasons that there was never an intention to ban boards from North Bondi,” Cr Wakefield said.


Sunday 16 September Randwick Community Centre 9.30am-3pm


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Learn how lifestyle changes save money and protect the Earth • Workshops and speaker series • Displays and demonstrations • Eco-innovations expo • Organic gardening and bee-keeping • Healthy food trucks • Kids activities

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RANDWICK FAMILY FRIENDLY ECO-LIVING EXPO RETURNS Words Siriol Dafydd Instagram @sirioldafyddwriter Picture OJ Simpson


reat news for those of you who have shared The Beast’s many previous grumblings about society’s recklessness when it comes to the environment - the Randwick Eco-Living Expo (formerly known as the Randwick Eco-Living Fair) is back! This year’s event will be held at the Randwick Community Centre on Sunday, September 16, which, coincidentally (or not), is also national Sustainable House Day. The expo will feature various experts and valuable information on sustainable living for anybody who wants to make lifestyle changes, however big or small, to benefit the environment. Packed with all the latest innovations, it will focus on sustainable improvements for homes and gardens, as well as offering tips on small changes that will make a big difference. There will also be a Sustainable Demonstration House this year, which will showcase water and energy saving initiatives. Industry

30 The Beast | September 2018

experts and a few familiar faces will be on hand to provide ideas and advice on waste avoidance and minimisation. “The Eco-Living Expo first started out as a fair 13 years ago and has been a huge success,” Randwick Mayor Lindsay Shurey told The Beast. “It’s designed to educate, inspire and enable residents to make sustainable choices that help preserve and protect our environment.” “It’s fantastic to see how it has grown every single year and been embraced by the community... it’s a day that the whole family can look forward to.” Aussie radio and television favourite Dr Karl Kruszelnicki will also be sharing his knowledge and insight, along with ABC’s War on Waste host Craig Reucassel. “The environment is what nurtures us, but it is so complex that we need knowledge,” Dr Karl said. “Randwick City has lots of good people trying to spread this knowl-

edge and I want to help them.” Dr Karl also told The Beast that his presentation will depend largely on whatever’s current and topical at the time, but a big focus will be on demonstrating where the planet will or could be by 2050 if we continue the way we are. He will discuss how we can change or reduce these effects and make the world a better place through our own day-to-day actions. The Eco-Living Expo is 100 per cent family friendly and includes everything from live bird and reptile shows to a craft tent that allows kids to create art from reusable materials. They can also make pedal-powered smoothies at the Bike‘n’Blend stand (pictured), or get their hands dirty while exploring the magic of nature in the awesome Edible Kids Garden. There will also be live entertainers roaming around the expo to delight and inspire on-the-go. And last but not least, a rock climbing wall will keep even the most energetic of children entertained throughout the day. There’ll also be plenty to keep the adults informed and entertained including workshops, displays and demonstrations on everything from beekeeping and green cleaning tips to creating your own compost! The overall point of this event is to inspire and encourage local residents to invest in and improve the future of the planet by making small lifestyle changes and rethinking their personal and household impact on the environment. The good people at Randwick Council have once again put their hearts and souls into the event, so it is bound to be a fun and educational day out for the whole family. Go on - grab your keep cups and head on down! The Eco-Living Expo takes place on Sunday, September 16 from 10am at Randwick Community Centre, 27 Munda Street, Randwick. For more information, head to Randwick Council’s website,



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ohn Walton is as Eastern Suburbs as a latte. You may well have caught a wave with him at Bronte, had a beer with him at the Cloey, or been tossed around by him on the mats at his jiu-jitsu gym in Maroubra. But that’s not all Mr Walton does. He is also an experienced business operator and has come up with a new angle on recruitment. Mr Walton recently revealed to The Beast how he had turned a setback into an opportunity after finding himself redundant, looking for employment and struggling to get a foot in the door with new employers. Unsure of what he wanted to do next he began applying for jobs, sending his CV to a wide range of companies, but he felt he couldn’t represent himself effectively on paper. At around the same time Mr Walton started to notice that his mates, owners of cafes and bars, were complaining about how frustrating it was to connect with quality staff and how quickly they turned over new employees. The overwhelming consensus was that the traditional job application process makes it extremely difficult for candidates to connect with employers. Employers are un32 The Beast | September 2018

able to get a feel for the personality of their potential recruits, and candidates get limited insight into the culture of the workplace they’re applying to be part of. Realising there was opportunity at hand, Mr Walton set out to find a better way to solve this two-sided problem, and thus, Pickle was born. As Mr Walton enthusiastically says, “Use pickle, get picked.” Mr Walton noticed that everywhere he looked, video was dominating. Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat had become mostly video-based platforms, so why not employment? Pickle is a platform that allows candidates and employers to connect and get to know each other through a brief introductory video. “For applicants, Pickle is all about just being yourself when answering a simple question,” Mr Walton told The Beast. “For employers, it’s an efficient way of hiring as you can see if a person is worth interviewing after watching their video for ten seconds.” Pickle is focused on customerfacing businesses, such as hospitality and retail, and targets millennials as they’re posting video of themselves every day on their social media

accounts. It’s in these industries that personality and people skills are most important, and Pickle provides a platform for candidates and employers alike to show off aspects of themselves that do not necessarily come across on paper. Additionally, Pickle caters to the fast-paced needs of these two industries, which have high staff turnover, while giving millennials looking for jobs the opportunity to put their presentation skills to use outside of their personal social media accounts. Pickle is simple to use. Candidates create a profile and have the option of uploading a traditional CV and video. The introductory video is the focus of the site and it can all be done with a few taps on your smartphone. The key to success, according to Mr Walton, is to just be yourself. “It’s like FaceTime for jobs,” he said. Applicants can then browse Pickle for available jobs and apply for multiple jobs with the click of a button. They can also create a public profile, allowing other potential employers to find them. Pickle can assist employers who want to have their videos professionally produced, so they are able to sell their culture, show off their venue and attract the best candidates - and there is definitely competition between employers to get the best candidates. Mr Walton also emphasised the advantage of putting a face to the business, allowing candidates to see who will actually be employing them. Pickle has been over two years in the making and is set to finally roll out this month. “When you start this process, it can be challenging and you do question yourself,” Mr Walton said. “But when people start to believe in you, and when people start to follow through with chasing you up, you start to believe that what you’re doing has got merit.” Pickle certainly does have merit, so if you’re looking for a job or you’re sick of paying through the nose to fill vacant positions in your business, jump on to, or give Pickle a call on 0405 939 202.

BOO NOW K ! 10-12 October 2018 Get ready for hands-on adventure these school holidays as part of Randwick City Council’s spring holiday Marine & Coastal Program. Discover and touch the unique marine and land animals that live on our coast, taste bush tucker, learn about whales, go bird watching and more‌

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MORE BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Lisa Anderson Picture Samuel Frisby Instagram @_chance_the_snapper RETRO SURFING EXHIBITION AT BONDI PAVILION John Witzig’s photographs from the mid-1960s are the most thorough documentation of the shortboard revolution as seen through Australian eyes. The initial exponents of change - Bob McTavish, George Greenough and Nat Young - were all Witzig’s friends. It was a dramatic period in world surfing and it was being lead by the Aussies. From Noosa Heads to Honolua Bay, tracks were taken on waves that influenced all surfing that followed. Check out Witzig’s exhibition at the Bondi Pavilion Gallery from September 11 to 23, from 10am–5pm daily. Admission is free. TROUBLED YOUTHS GET FIT Over the last few months, Gym 115 on Avoca Street, Randwick has developed a relationship with the Ted Noffs Foundation and has set up a weekly training session in the gym for the kids that attend Ted Noffs. These kids have had troubled lives and the goal of this program is to give them an opportunity to get off the streets and do something they enjoy and that makes them feel good each week. At the end of each 12-week program, Gym 115 will pay for one of the kids to be educated and trained in their Certifi-

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cate 3 and 4 in Fitness, eventually allowing them to become employed in the fitness industry. Please visit to donate. RANDWICK COUNCIL’S GENERAL MANAGER RESIGNS Randwick City Council’s highly regarded General Manager Ray Brownlee PSM is leaving Randwick Council to take up a role at another council, Randwick Mayor Lindsay Shurey recently confirmed. Mr Brownlee is regarded as one of the state’s best local government chief executive officers and his achievements and contribution to public service were acknowledged in 2015 when he received the Public Service Medal (PSM) on Australia Day. He leaves to take on a new opportunity at the recently merged Northern Beaches Council. For more information, please visit NEW STARLIGHT EXPRESS ROOM OPENS There were more than a few special guests on hand to celebrate the official opening of the Starlight Express Room at the Sydney Children's Hospital, Randwick. With the new room boasting a fully functioning kitchen, who better to officially cut the ribbon than

Starlight Ambassador Neil Perry? Starlight Ambassadors including Timomatic, Waratahs rugby player Jed Holloway and clinical psychologist Dr Suzy Green also joined the celebrations. With a dedicated arts and crafts zone, interactive gaming facilities and even a cool recording booth, the new multipurpose space will be abuzz with fun and creativity for kids and teenagers seven days a week. Go to to donate. RUSHCUTTERS BAY RECREATION AREA PLANS A revised concept plan for a Youth Recreation Area within Rushcutters Bay Park will better meet the growing need for access to fun, healthy recreation options for local young people and their families, and address previous community concerns regarding noise, location and loss of space, according to the Mayor of Woollahra. Woollahra Council’s revised design proposal incorporates skating elements, seating and a basketball practice area at a location away from the harbour foreshore, following community feedback on a previously proposed design. The mayor highlighted that just two per cent of the park will be allocated to the Youth Recreation Area and landscaping. Visit

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September 2018 | The Beast 35

The millennial meme master himself.

EASTERN SUBURBS NUTCASE LEGIT THREW AN ACTUAL DOOF IN BALI Words Siriol Dafydd Insta @sirioldafyddwriter Picture Jess Wharehinga


ai Suteja embodies all of the bizarre yet wonderful things I love about ‘Straya’. He combines a loose, ‘sick c**t’ kind of vibe with a social and environmental awareness you wouldn’t expect to coincide in one person. And he pulls it off in a way that only a nutcase Aussie kid could. Born in Bali, Suteja and his family moved to Sydney when he was a child. He spent his youth at their home in Chifley before slowly migrating north through the Eastern Suburbs to Bondi, where he lived during his university days. Suteja shot to Insta-fame by posting fashion-forward content with brutal yet hilarious captions under the wonderfully bogan handle @urmumsyadad. With nearly 140,000 followers on Instagram and a further 190,000 on Facebook, he is a bizarre, modern day PR powerhouse. After taking the Internet by storm, Suteja recently turned his attention to Bali where he decided to throw a full-on doof. No joke. The festival, called ‘Gypsy Lands’, was born from the notion that “you should be able to party solely on kombucha and techno and still have an MDMAzing time”.

36 The Beast | September 2018

“Festivals should be more than music,” Suteja told The Beast. “You can’t listen to DJ Penis Pump for 12 hours unless you’re gacked off your brain and unfortunately Bali isn’t really a BYO boogie board culture.” “The creation of an environment that was immersive, interactive and engaging was necessary. It should be a spectacle, not a gathering of sardines facing a stage.” The festival, much like Suteja himself, was packed full of delightful weirdness, contradiction and creativity. “The whole f*cking festival was pretty weird to be honest, but that’s just my vibe,” he said. “F*ck ‘same’.” “There was just like a lot of people having sex, specifically in the maze and the fetish room. It was really cool to see people get amongst the activities within the festival - there were marriage ceremonies orchestrated in the chapel and WWE wrestling in the cage.” We asked Kai if he’d consider hosting a similar event back in Sydney. “The things we did at Gypsy Lands would not have been possible [in Australia],” he said. “We had cage fights, tattoos, piercings

and a half-pipe. We probably broke every single OH&S regulation.” Somewhat miraculously, however, everything seemed to run smoothly, and according to Kai there were no complaints. The locals are even keen to have the festival back next year. “No one got hurt and every patron had an amazing time, so maybe it’s time to trust your guests and rethink these laws. There’s definitely a duty of care, but common sense goes a long way.” As for Australia’s lockout law, nanny-state culture, Suteja didn’t hold back. “The laws are so f*cking dumb,” Suteja said. “It doesn’t address the issue of toxic behaviour in venues. From my observation at Gypsy Lands, the most important factor is being able to control the crowd you pull, i.e. a no f*cking dickhead policy. “In total, we had twenty security guards responsible for peak 3,500 guests.” He also believed the way they marketed the festival was key to its success. “I mean, come on, ‘kombucha and techno together at last’ - that straight up stopped a lot of dickheads from coming.” “There’s a fine line between not letting dickheads into your venue and discrimination, but I think it’s an important factor to consider.” “Why should we let a select few people ruin the experience for everyone else?” Amen. So what’s next for Kai Suteja’s kombucha-fuelled empire? His goal is to run about three or four events each year with Gypsy Lands taking centre stage as the main annual shindig. But for those of you who can’t wait until next July to have an “MDMAzing time”, he’s currently planning a Halloween party in an abandoned kindergarten (as you do). If watching your peers frolicking in fetish rooms whilst simultaneously attempting axle stalls on a nearby half-pipe has been your lifelong dream, you might only have to wait until October to tick that one off your bucket list. You can keep up to date with Kai’s events by following the Instagram handle @gypsylandfestivals.

Everyone’s doing it.

MY HOME, MY RULES? Words Tara Hayes Picture Billy Holiday


ravellers venture across the globe to catch a glimpse of our beautiful beaches, have brunch at our trendy cafes and enjoy a relaxing day soaking up the warm sun. It comes as no surprise that our coastline is a hotspot for Airbnb, an online platform that enables people to rent out one room or their entire property for a few days or months on end. But a proposed law regulating short-term letting could shake things up for hosts and guests. The Fair Trading Amendment (Short-term Rental Accommodation) Bill 2018, recently passed by the NSW lower house, gives strata management the ability to stop short-term letting in their building if 75 per cent of owners disapprove. It also restricts hosts in the greater Sydney area from renting out their property for more than 180 days a year. These two reforms will not affect hosts who live on their property and merely rent out rooms. A new code of conduct will be introduced, including a ‘two

38 The Beast | September 2018

strikes and you’re out’ policy, which aims to combat noise levels and disruptions to neighbours. If a host or guest seriously breaches the code twice in two years they will be banned for five years and placed on the exclusion registrar. “For decades, short-term holiday letting has underpinned the prosperity of communities up and down the NSW coast, and I am proud that our policy will support local economies,” NSW Minister for Innovation and Better Regulation Matt Kean told The Beast. “That said, neighbours and the wider community shouldn’t have to cop bad behaviour from rowdy guests, and that’s why we have introduced the toughest laws in the country to crack down on this.” Minister Kean said the government consulted with key stakeholders and the broader community, with the Options Paper receiving more than 8,000 submissions. Gabriel Sarajinsky, managing director of the short-term property

management agency HomeHost, told The Beast the proposed laws would clear up “grey areas” for hosts and minimise disturbances to neighbours, but also risked taking away owners’ rights. “If you own a property, it’s your property,” Mr Sarajinsky said. “You should be able to do whatever you want with it.” “If you want to rent it out, you should be able to rent it out.” Mr Sarajinsky said these changes are causing investors to turn their backs on the Sydney market in favour of lower property prices and fewer restrictions. “There are a lot of great hosts who are welcoming guests from all over the world into their home and showing great Aussie hospitality,” he said. “I think it’s a beautiful thing and should be here to stay year-round.” Research lecturer at UNSW’s City Futures Research Centre Dr Laura Crommelin said the 180-day cap is “generous” relative to cities worldwide, but if the limit allows commercial operation to continue then it becomes a “real worry” for Sydneysiders. “I think the segment of Airbnb activity that involves people genuinely sharing spare space in their own homes is a positive thing in many ways, so I think there’s some merit to allowing this to continue under the new regulations,” Dr Crommelin said. “But for people trying to live in Sydney, particularly renters, anything that has the potential to add to the city’s significant housing affordability issues is a real concern. “Short-term letting isn’t the only reason the housing market in Sydney is so unaffordable, but it is a factor.” Dr Crommelin said that while it is good the government is tackling the short-term letting issue, we need to ensure properties are used as homes for those who need them, not just treated as accumulative assets. The bill is expected to be heard in the upper house when Parliament sits again some time in the near future.

Any excuse to wear lycra.

A RIDE TO REMEMBER Words Siriol Dafydd Instagram @sirioldafyddwriter Picture James Hutton


he Bondi2Berry Ride to Remember is back for its third year. On September 8, 80 bike riders will depart from North Bondi at the crack of dawn and ride the gruelling 155 kilometres along the coast to Berry. Now, I know what you’re thinking: what on earth would possess anybody to put themselves through 155 kilometres of pedalling and 1,700 metres of arse-wrecking elevation? The Bondi2Berry Ride To Remember was started by Nick Young and his friends, Pierre and James, to raise money for dementia research. “My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2011, and Pierre’s mum was diagnosed a few years later,” Mr Young told The Beast. “We wanted to use our passion for cycling to do something productive and create awareness for this terrible disease.” Dementia is the second leading cause of death in Australia. Contrary to popular belief, it is not one specific disease but rather a collection of symptoms caused by disorders affecting the brain. The most common and well-known type of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease. There are over 425,000 Australians living with dementia and without a major breakthrough in research

40 The Beast | September 2018

that figure is expected to increase to over 1.1 million by 2056. Dementia damages brain cells, making basic things like preparing a cup of tea or recognising loved ones extremely difficult or even impossible. It ultimately causes your body to start shutting down, removing your ability to take care of yourself. There is currently no cure. In previous years, the Bondi2Berry Ride to Remember has raised $131,000 for Dementia Australia, and thanks to the support of its many sponsors, every cent goes directly towards researching a cure. Felix Clark, owner of Bellagio Cafe in Waverley, said sponsoring the event was a no-brainer. “With the almost indiscriminate nature of the disease, any support of this cause is an investment in your own future,” he said. “You may well need it.” As well as their usual contributions to the event, Bellagio teamed up with Chef Jason Roberts this year to host a gala fundraiser. “We would like to see this event become a permanent fixture in the fundraising landscape of the ride,” Mr Clark said. Although he has sponsored the event since its inception, Mr Clark is this year participating in the ride for the first time.

“This is the year I decided to get off my fat arse and give myself something to work towards. “Being a large human means that the uphill sections of the ride will be pretty challenging, but it also means that I will descend like an elephant on skis - look out!” All-round sports fanatic and Bondi Rescue star Andrew ‘Reidy’ Reid is riding for the third year in a row. “The Bondi2Berry really hits home for me,” he said. “My mother has Alzheimer's and vascular dementia and I’ve been caring for her since she got diagnosed 12 months ago.” Thanks to his work schedule and crippling fear of riding on Sydney roads, Reidy’s training has been non-existent again this year. “I’m dreading the pain of riding 155km without training, but knowing what we are doing is hopefully going towards putting an end to this horrible disease usually gets me through,” he said. “Just to finish would be awesome, but if I can have some extra energy to help others get through it then that would be great.” The ride sold out within six weeks so you’ll have to wait until next year to physically participate, but you can offer support at the start in Bondi, at pit-stops in Wollongong and Kiama, or you can join the riders for a beer at the Berry Bowling Club afterwards. When The Beast went to print, this year’s Bondi2Berry ride had raised $35,000, just over a third of its goal for the year. There’s still plenty of time to contribute and any donations, big or small, will make a huge difference. “If you ask anyone that has a loved one battling dementia they will quickly tell you it’s horrible for everyone involved so please dig deep,” Mr Reid told The Beast. “The quicker we find a cure to this shit disease the better this world will be.” For full event details or to donate, head over to www.bondi2berry. com/donate.



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WOMEN'S HEALTH WEEK Women’s Health Week, taking place from September 3-7, aims to give women across Australia the opportunity to focus on their health. Research suggests the biggest barrier for women not maintaining a healthy lifestyle is lack of time. Visit

REALITY OR MAGIC After delighting audiences with ‘Around the World in 80 Tricks’ in 2015 and ‘A Muggle Goes to Hogwarts’ in 2016, Liam Power is back at Sydney Fringe with his brand new show ‘Reality or Magic’ on September 4, 6, 8 and 9. Visit

HEART OF AUSTRALIA Emerging artist Richard Rosebery showcases Australia’s iconic Bondi Beach and the vivid Red Centre in his hyperrealist paintings from September 1-9 at The Gallery, 152 Jersey Road, Paddington. So switch off your bloody Netflix and get some culture, why don’t you?

THE PICTURESQUE GARDEN Get down to Waverley Library today from 11am-12pm to celebrate the opening of this informative exhibition with an entertaining talk from Greg Ross, President of the Friends of Waverley Cemetery. To book your spot, please visit

HAPPY WEEK AT COOGEE PAVILION Rather than settling for the standard happy hour, the crew at Coogee Pavilion are putting on Happy Week, with $6 drinks from 5-7pm every weekday. Drop in to Coogee’s finest establishment for a $6 schooner, house wine or spirit and cheers the day away.

RETRO SURFING EXHIBITION John Witzig’s photographs from the mid-1960s are the most thorough documentation of the shortboard revolution as seen through Australian eyes. Check out his exhibition at Bondi Pavilion Gallery from today until September 23, between the hours of 10am and 5pm.

$12 PUB LUNCHES AT THE CHARO Wrangle a bunch of your hungriest buddies and head to the Charing Cross Hotel for a delicious $12 pub lunch, every Monday to Friday from 11am-3pm. The feed at the Charo is unbelievable, especially when it’s only $12! Please visit

R U OKAY? DAY Founded by Gavin Larkin back in 2009, R U OK? Day envisions a world in which we’re all connected and people aren’t afraid to talk about mental illness and suicide. The task for you is simple: reach out to those around you and just ask: ‘Are you okay?’ We’re all in this together.

MALONEYS HOME DELIVERY Too lazy to do your grocery shopping? Maloneys offers a complete home delivery service, so there’s no excuse for living on Domino’s and Deliveroo. Get your order in by 7pm and it’ll be delivered fresh to your door the next day. Please visit

JOIN THE ROYAL RASCALS Royal Randwick Shopping Centre invites families with kids to join the Royal Rascals Kids Club. Children will receive a birthday gift and special birthday offers from Top Juice, Christopher’s Cakes and Just Cuts, as well as first access tickets. Visit

$45 LA TAVOLATA SET MENU Book your group at Bondi’s Da Orazio Pizza + Porchetta this month and enjoy their amazing La Tavolata set menu for just $45 per person. Da Orazio is located at The Hub, between Hall and O'Brien Streets, Bondi Beach. Please visit

DZ DEATHRAYS AT THE ENMORE Presented by Frontier Touring, DZ Deathrays will be celebrating their decade-long career tonight at the Enmore Theatre. Catch the epic thrash party duo playing their biggest headline show to date. For tickets and information, please visit

SURF OR TURF AT BBPB Drop in to Bondi Beach Public Bar every Monday for a grilled Rangers Valley rump or the fish of the day for only $20. The meat raffle is on from 7.30pm and you can enjoy a $5 schooner with your meal. For more info and other weekly specials, visit

FOOD HANDLER WORKSHOP This workshop provides an introductory overview of food safety, legislation, common food hygiene issues and how to best comply. It's on today from 10am-12.30pm in the Randwick Room of the Randwick Council admin building. Visit

WOOLLAHRA VIEW CLUB MEETING Looking for a way to give back to the community? This leading women’s volunteering organisation meets at 10am on the 4th Wednesday of every month at Gaden Cafe & Community Centre. To get involved, please give Jan a call on either 9357 3448 or 0422 922 095.

BURGERS AND BEER AT BBPB Drop in to Bondi Beach Public Bar any time on a Thursday to try their famous Squish Burger for only $10 and enjoy a $5 schooner with your meal. BBPB is Bondi’s freshest venue and everyone is welcome. For more info and other weekly specials, visit

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$12 ESPRESSO MARTINIS The Sheaf is celebrating Double Bay's coffee culture with $12 espresso martinis from 8pm until 10pm every Thursday and Friday evening. Choose between vanilla, salted caramel and coconut. To see what else is happening at The Sheaf, visit

BERNADETTE ROBINSON LIVE Bernadette Robinson is a unique talent and one of Australia’s leading entertainers. Be captivated as she brings a specially tailored program from her extraordinary repertoire to Randwick Town Hall this evening from 7-8pm. To book, please visit

TASTE OF COOGEE This weekend will see the return of the Taste of Coogee festival. Since its launch, Taste of Coogee has become one of the hottest events on Sydney’s culinary calendar with over 40,000 people attending last year. See the restaurant line-up at

FATHER'S DAY Tell the old man that you love him, and remind of the time you bowled him out for a duck and he chased you down the street and tore a hole in his skin-tight Stubbies. UK four-piece Bastille are playing at the Big Top tonight. For tickets, visit

BONDI2BERRY Following its success over the last two years, the Bondi2Berry Ride to Remember will return today, with cyclists mounting up to undertake this mammoth ride to raise money for dementia awareness. To donate to those cycling, visit

FESTIVAL OF THE WINDS The Festival of the Winds is a stalwart of the Eastern Suburbs festival scene and it’s on at Bondi Beach today. This year it is celebrating its 40th birthday, and the sky will again be filled with kites of all shapes, colours and lengths. It is a truly glorious sight.

RANDWICK ECO-LIVING EXPO Randwick’s Eco-Living Expo, now in its 13th year, will be held today between 9.30am and 3pm at Randwick Community Centre. With sustainability workshops, food stalls, live entertainment and more, there’s a reason it’s a stalwart. Visit

EL ROSA FRIDAYS AT RAVESIS Enjoy a weekly Friday fiesta at Ravesis with drinking, dining and dancing every Friday night from 5pm-1am. Kick your evening off with happy hour from 5-7pm and DJs in the lounge from 8pm. For more information, please visit

NSW BIKE WEEK NSW Bike Week will run from today until September 30. It’s an annual celebration to promote cycling as a safe and healthy mode of transport and to highlight safe ways to ride. Get down to Heffron Pedal Park tomorrow from 9.30am11.30am and kick it off in style.

WOLF ALICE AT THE METRO Frontier Touring are thrilled to announce that Wolf Alice will return to Australia to perform headline shows with plenty of bite! Catch the North London quartet at the Metro Theatre tonight. For tickets and information, please visit

FOOD ADDICTS MEETINGS Today, Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) is hosting one of its twice weekly meetings, which are held every Wednesday at 7pm and Friday at 10am at Salvation Army Hall, 100 Boyce Road, Maroubra. For more information, please visit

AFL GRAND FINAL DAY Today is the day we’ve been waiting for all season. Two teams will battle it out for the AFL Premiership and we are obviously rooting for our boys, the Swans (though we doubt they’ll be there). Can Richmond go back-to-back? You better believe it.

NRL GRAND FINAL DAY The pinnacle of the rugby league season is here. It’s a day all players dream of, and this year it’s shaping up to be bigger and better than ever. Will this be the year that we get to see the Roosters play the Rabbits? For more information, please visit

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The Inflictor

VICTOR RADLEY Interview James Hutton Pictures Paul McMillan Instagram @paulmcmillanphoto

orn and raised local league star Victor Radley made his first B grade debut with the Roosters in late

2017 and has been exciting fans ever since. The Beast caught up with the charismatic utility during the month... You're a born and bred Bronte boy; what are your fondest memories of growing up in this beautiful part of the world? I was down at the beach every weekend in summer - nippers in summer and footy in winter. I remember that every Australia Day my family, the Cliffords and the Scotts would go camp down at Bronte Beach on the hill there on the Saturday night. All the parents were on the beers; we were young, just causing havoc, good times. That was the crew. All the parents used to get together down the beach and get on the beers, have a barbecue, that sort of thing. Your old man is English and your mum is Australian? Yeah, that's right. How did your dad end up over here? I don't know the details of it, but I don't think he came over here planning to stay permanently. He came over here with mates to get on the piss like most English do, and then he ended up working as a builder, or a carpenter at the time, and then he met my mum at Tamarama, from memory. Mum was a childcare worker and I think she was nannying for a family in Tama, and my old man ended up working on either the neighbouring property or the same property I think. I’m pretty sure that's how they met. How romantic! Yes, I know. I've heard your dad is the hardest worker in the world... I think that's all he does. He just loves working, and then the Clovelly Hotel - the two things he loves. Is it just you and your two brothers? I've got three brothers.

There are three of you? There are four of us all together. Me, Harry and Jack are always down at Bronte. I think Lewis, my other brother, ended up playing footy for South Eastern as he got a bit older, because his Clovelly team ended up folding, so our different groups of mates ended up being in different areas. Is it true that one of your brothers lived in a tree house in Bronte Gully for a while? Yeah, Jack. I think he lived in a little shack down there. That's his scene; he'd look good down there. Can you talk us through your junior footy days and give us a bit of a timeline of your junior football career? I started playing for the Clovelly Crocodiles when I was four. Jack and Lewis were already playing, so my mum got me down there playing with them as early as I could. My last year at the Crocs was under 17s, so do the maths - is that 14 years?

“I still wake up every morning and, whether I'm at the beach or at a cafe, it's just such an amazing spot. I definitely can't complain.” What year were you born? I was born in 1998. Fifteen years after Michael Jackson released Thriller... Yeah, wow. So I just went through the ranks at the Roosters with the Harold Matthews Cup when I was 15, the S. G. Ball Cup when I was 16 and 17, and then I ended up playing under 20s that year too, which was in 2016 when we won the competition, and then first grade this year. I debuted last year and I’m full-time first grade this year.

Which game did you start last year? It was when Jake Friend broke his hand. I think it was round 19 or 20, so my first game was about this time last year. Luckily I won my first game. And you played for Australia in the juniors, didn’t you? I made the under 20s Kangaroos team, which was pretty cool, and the New South Wales under 20s team as well. We played before the first Origin game last year. As hooker? For New South Wales I played lock, and I was on the bench for the Australian team, so I just played as a utility. I think I ended up playing centre because our starting centre broke his jaw in the first game. Having grown up in Bronte, you would've seen the local area change a lot throughout your childhood; do you think life in Sydney is better now than it was when you were growing up? I'm probably not down there at the beach as much as I would've been three or four years ago, just because training's that hectic. There's no alcohol or any of that type of stuff allowed down there now, which probably makes it a bit worse. That said, I think it's always good down there. I still wake up every morning and, whether I'm at the beach or at a cafe, it's just such an amazing spot. I definitely can't complain. Have you noticed it getting a bit busier and the demographic changing? Yeah, I'm in Coogee at the moment, just on Coogee Beach, and I’ve been there for around four months. It is pretty busy, hey. I can't really remember much from when I was little. As a young kid, I don't think I noticed that type of stuff. It's definitely expensive. Trying to get somewhere to live around here, it's going to be tough. You've just got to poison your parents' tea... Yeah, that's it.

September 2018 | The Beast 45

You've been absolutely mowing for the Chooks this year; did you feel like you belonged in first grade from early on, or did it take you a while to settle in and get comfortable? After playing a few games last year I just wanted to play first grade this year. I would have always been secretly spewing if I wasn't playing this year. I wanted to work hard; once you get that little taste of first grade you don't want to play anything else. At the start of the year I wasn't playing very many minutes, then in one of the games early on I think Nugg ( Jake Friend) might've got hurt and I ended up playing a bit longer, about 40 or 50 minutes, and I really thought to myself, “This is sweet, I can belong here. I'm not just going to fit in; I can be myself and play well.“

“I chose rugby league because Adrian Lam was our coach for league - we’d had him since under 8s and we had such a mad crew there - so that made it easy for me.” Did you ever feel out of your depth? No, not really. It's hard to explain what it's like. It's almost easier. Well, not easier, that's the wrong word to use, but because the players around you are so good, if you do make a mistake everyone else covers for you and helps you out. With all the good players around you it makes it a little bit easier, but it is still bloody hard. You recently signed a five-year contract extension, which will have you stay at the Roosters until 2023; how involved are you in that negotiation process and how stressful was it? Does it affect your performance on the field at all? I'm not really involved in the negotiations. My manager comes and tells me every time he hears something back, you know what I mean? I didn't find it too stressful. At the time I was already signed for next year, so at the end of the day there was no real rush to get it done. We got it done pretty swiftly anyway, and it wasn't really stressful at all for me because I knew I wanted to stay. I don't want to move away from the Eastern Suburbs. It wasn't like I had other clubs making offers and other things going

46 The Beast | September 2018

around in my head. I had one thing in my head, stay at the Roosters, so it was pretty simple. Would you be happy to stay at the Roosters for your whole career? Yeah, that's the plan. I've got five years there now. I got a Roosters tattoo after we won the under 20s grand final a few years ago, so I can't really leave. Speaking of one-club men, John Sutton from Maroubra just notched up 300 games with Souths - what an achievement! It's huge, especially for South Sydney. They've got such strong supporters and a really loyal club, so for him to be the first to do that, that's pretty special. It's something that I dream about - obviously not with Souths, but with the Roosters. I saw that big painting of him at Snape Oval last week, that big mural that says '300’, and I was like, “F*ck, that's hectic.” So yeah, it's pretty hectic. Do you think you could play 300 games with the Roosters? I really don't know. I've played 20 and I'm already complaining about corks and whatnot, so we'll see what happens. Are there any of the guys from your junior footy days at the Crocs playing alongside you now? There's Lachlan Lam. He's full-time training with us in first grade. He’s played with me since under 8s and his old man, former Rooster Adrian, was our coach. And there's Ethan O'Neill, who's in the under 20s system at the moment. He's younger than me, but he played in our Crocs team for two or three years. There are a lot of boys who were in our team that ended up with Randwick playing rugby as well. There's a good crew of us that are going pretty well. Jack Johnson, also a proud Bronte boy, is currently captaining Randwick’s first grade side; have you had a chance to see him play? Yeah, I've watched ‘Yonny’ play a bit. He’s a beast. He works with my brother. A couple of years ago we went to his colts grand final over at Concord Oval. Robert Bruns drove the bus out there. I was on that bus! Yeah, you were there. I watched him play in that grand final, but I think they ended up losing. I’ve watched him play a few games with Randwick, because I was always at Randwick when I was

growing up playing rugby union. I want to get down and watch some more of his games. I only live around the corner, so I can get down to Coogee Oval next time they play. Did you play for the Clovelly Eagles as well? Yeah. Did you ever consider playing union rather than league? At some stage you would've had to decide between the two codes, right? Yeah, it was in under 15s that I had to cut one of them. I chose rugby league because Adrian Lam was our coach for league - we’d had him since under 8s and we had such a mad crew there - so that made it easy for me. With him as the coach and the crew we had, and then being able to get into the Harold Matthews system at about 15 years old, I think that straight away it was an easy decision to choose league. I think if Randwick had a better setup for juniors maybe it could've been more enticing to play for Randwick. But, you know, putting a Roosters jersey on is pretty cool, so I just really wanted to do that. What was it like coming up against former Clovelly Crocs/Eagles teammate Tom Wright when you played against Manly recently? It was pretty mad. We saw each other before the game and had a yarn, so it's pretty hectic. I think I only got to tackle him once. He was a year older than me, so he was always with the team a year up from me, but he was always a gun. His footwork is that quick, he almost got me. He played in our touch footy team... Is that the Ratpack team? Yes, how do you know about that? I don't know, I think Lammy played in that. Yep, the Lams are a big part of the Ratpack. Who were your role models growing up, in sport and in general? In sport, I think Sonny Bill Williams was. He was a gun. When he came to the Roosters in 2013 and then won the comp with them, it was really something. I was like, “F*ck, he's the goat, man. He can't be stopped!” So he was definitely a footy role model. I can't single handedly name anyone else... I just love everyone. You mentioned that Adrian Lam was your coach throughout your junior footy, and obviously had a huge influence on you and the other young

We did it!

Kids up to the age of 16 are now permitted to ride their bike in safety on the footpath

A big thank you to everyone who helped me convince the government to change the rules

Bruce Notley-Smith MP State Member for Coogee

Making a difference

Follow me bnsmp @bnotleysmith @bnotleysmithmp 02 9398 1822 Authorised by Bruce Notley-Smith MP, 15/53 Frenchmans Road, Randwick, using parliamentary entitlements

blokes; what were the main things he taught you? I can pretty much say that I wouldn't be playing first grade if he wasn't my coach from that young age. I was always an aggressive kid. From a young age I was getting sent off for high tackles and other random stuff like that, but Adrian really taught me how to harness it. He taught me everything I know and about the smarts of the game. If I didn't have him around then I'd probably be a pretty dumb football player. You need to be really smart I think, in football terms, to be able to play in the top grades. It's not just the stronger you are, the better you are. You've got to really know the game and he taught me it really clearly. And even just the person I am, I think he helped heaps with that too. If I was ever getting in fights when I was younger he'd pull me into line. I could've ended up in the gully with Jack. Have you ever seen Adrian dance to 'I'm Still Standing' by Elton John? I think he rates himself as a bit of a dancer. I remember I'd be around at their house and they'd have a danceoff - him, Lachy and Bailey. Lachy rates himself as a dancer too. Who's better, Lachy or Adrian? Adrian is better, for sure. Did you know that Adrian actually pushed for the club to hold on to you when you were a younger bloke and told them that you were a future Kangaroo? Yeah, him and Peter O'Sullivan told me that a few years ago. I remember when I made the under 20s Kangaroos team he brought it up. I owe him a bit there, too. Are there any other young blokes at the Roosters that fans should be keeping an eye out for? A couple of weeks ago against the Gold Coast there were a few debuts made – Foasa Faamausili, Paul Momirovski and Sean O’Sullivan. Paul Momirovski is someone that's going to have a long career. He's been in the system for years and just got his debut. When you see him in training he's a freak. He's so good with his hands. Everything he does, it's silk. I think we've got a lot of players in our Roosters squad that could be playing a lot more first grade somewhere else, but because of the strength of our squad and how much they're learning, they're all happy to stay around. We've got a really good team and

48 The Beast | September 2018

squad that all stick together, so there will be a few players coming through. You're the best footy player from the Radley family; who is the best surfer? We're all kooks. It's definitely not Jack. He's Jedi kook. It'd have to be out of me and Harry. So you're a better surfer than Jack? I haven't surfed in a while, but I would've been back in the day. Jack just can't get any better; he's a kook. He goes on all these Mentawais trips, but he's shit. Harry's better than Jack. I think Jack's shit, that's all I need to get across. The vocal support from your Bronte mates on the sidelines has led to some pressure in the press on Rooster's captain Jake Friend; did Friendy ever have a word to you to tell your mates to reign it in a bit? I remember that. The press came to me and said people were calling for me to get back on the field. It was just the Bronte boys sitting right in the middle of the stadium chanting my name so loud. I said, “Nah, it's just all my mates, not the whole crowd chanting to get me back on.” You're getting some big raps for your big hits, particularly the shot on Marty Taupau and the try saver on Dylan Walker in round 9; do you feel that you've got a bit of a target on your head now that you're getting a name as a bit of an enforcer? I don't think it's a target on my head. No one's going to try and take my head off. It's too easy to miss a week these days. I don't mind it. When people try and come after me, it gets me going a bit more. I'm happy for whatever people want to say, but I think that's really just the press. I don't think it's any players or anything like that. It's all just talk. Who is the scariest opponent you've come up against? I think it's more people like James Roberts or like little fast guys like Anthony Milford and players like that. If they get you with a bit of space around you, they carve you up and make you look like an idiot. Are you completely fearless, or do you actually get nervous and scared before games, especially when you're playing some of the bigger, more aggressive teams? Definitely not scared. I think it's more nervous. And the nerves probably come from not wanting to let your teammates

down. There'd be nothing worse than letting in a try to lose a game. I remember on ANZAC Day, I was on the bench that game, and it was a packed stadium at Allianz. That was the most nervous I've ever been in my life by a country mile. What's the best piece of advice you've received from another player or coach? My current coach, Trent Robinson, always says, “Why are you here in the first place?” You don't need to change; you've just got to remember how you got to this position in the first place. I can't start changing how I play now that I'm here, you know? He just reminds me of that. He's really clear about all of us just being ourselves.

“I could ring Jake right now and ask him for anything if I needed help and he wouldn't even question it, he's just so generous.” Trent Robinson has been pretty successful as a coach; is he just the ultimate motivator or what? What gives the successful coaches at the elite level that edge? I've been pretty blessed with coaches coming through, so I think what he says just, it's just so clear. It is so clear when he says it and he doesn't say too much. He doesn't fill your head with all different stuff. He just gives you what you need to know, and then he even says, "Alright, take everything you can in during the week, but once a game comes if you haven't got it, well you haven't got it," you know. It's not something you should be thinking about during the game. So he just makes it so clear for you, and you never go into the game thinking, "Oh, I've got so much to think about." You know what I mean? It's real simple. Be yourself. Go out there and play how you play, and the other stuff that we've done during the week, that'll be in there so don't be thinking about it too much. Are the Roosters going to win the premiership in 2018? That's the plan. I think it's going to be a tight finish this season. Who's your toughest opponent? Souths carved us up when we last played, that was a hard game. I

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* Based on results from a study conducted by an independent ODERUDWRU\XVLQJ&KHP'U\¡V+RW&DUERQDWLQJ([WUDFWLRQ process. Allergens tested were dog and cat dander and dust mite allergen. Airborne bacteria results includes use of sanitizer. Figures are an average across multiple homes.

September 2018 | The Beast 49

haven't really played an easy game this year, to be honest. Everyone's pretty tough. What’s your preferred position? I prefer playing lock. What position did you play growing up? It was always lock until I was about 18, playing under 20s, and then I filled in at hooker a bit. That was how I got my start in the team, being on the bench and being able to play a few positions. You've scored a couple of tries this season already; do you get a bigger buzz from scoring a try or pulling off a huge try-saving tackle? Try-saving tackle, definitely. My first try was pretty cool, but I didn't really do anything. Luke Keary just did a mad flick pass and I was on the end of it. Is Jake Friend an awesome captain? Yeah, him and Boyd Cordner are the epitome of what a captain should be. They lead by example. I don't think I've ever heard them blow up at someone. They're such good blokes, on and off the field. I could ring Jake right now and ask him for anything if I needed help and he wouldn't even question it, he's just so generous. Have you checked out his café, High St Society in Randwick? Yeah, we were there the other week. It's mad. It's got such a good feel there and the food is mad. The chef is from Bali; mad food! When you watch the replays of some of your bigger hits on blokes who have 10 or 20 kilos on you, do you ever think to yourself, “How the hell did I get away with that?” A few times, like in under 20s, I've gone for it and knocked myself out. I've always got to be careful that I could go for one and just a slight little body movement by them and I will knock myself straight out. I know that a lot of stuff needs to happen for it to really work, so when I get one it's like, it's not really luck but... Timing? Yeah, it's timing and just knowing when to take it, you know? So if I take it at the wrong time that's when I will knock myself out, but when someone really squares you up you can go for one. Some of the NRL crowds have been pretty woeful this season despite the quality of the games being played; if you were in charge of the NRL,

50 The Beast | September 2018

what would you do to get the crowd numbers up? I think anyone under 16 should be let in free. I think that would help, but I'm no marketing bloke. I guess cheaper tickets all round and free tickets for kids is probably a good start. It's 10 bucks for a pie there, so I definitely think entry for kids should be free. If they had cheaper tickets I know that'd make it a lot easier to go to the game. Not everyone wants to pay 30 or 40 bucks to get into the game. It's just too much, especially for a family.

What shits you about the Eastern Suburbs? Maybe the crowds sometimes, especially in summer. And maybe the parking police, because I get a few fines. But I'm not too fussed about anything, you know. I mean, look where we live.

What would you be doing for work if you weren't playing professional rugby league? I'd be a carpenter. I did my carpentry apprenticeship with my old man. I left school in year 10 and did four years with him. I finished that at the end of last year. I wouldn't be working for Dad though. I'd be working with Dan Norton because he's a grouse boss.

Community development sort of stuff? Yeah. I like going to all those things. Sometimes you're tired, but once you're there with all the young kids they're just so happy to see you. I remember back to when I was a kid at Burrows Park meeting all the Roosters players and it was so inspiring. You've got to think of it like when you were a kid and looked up to those guys, and then you want to get right in and do that sort of thing.

Everyone loves working for Dan Norton... He's such a legend - he pays on time, two smokos, cruisey, he's a good bloke... he's mad.

“I remember back to when I was a kid at Burrows Park meeting all the Roosters players and it was so inspiring.” What other skills do you have? Can you play a musical instrument or speak another language? No, I'm just getting English. I can't dance. I'm not really good at anything. I just love playing footy and getting on the beers. Two loves. Are you interested in politics? No. Actually, we saw Malcolm Turnbull; he came to one of our games. He came into the sheds, which was pretty cool. I went to shake his hand and he left me hanging. It was pretty ruthless. What are your favourite things about the Eastern Suburbs? The beaches. I'm living just on Coogee Beach now, but last week I went down to Bronte with Boyd Cordner just before training and it just takes your breath away. It's f*cking mad. It's so good. Growing up I lived at Bondi, then Clovelly, and now my family is at South Coogee. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

Have you had the opportunity to do any work in the community or any charity work? I wouldn't call it charity work, but we do a lot of promos with all of the kids camps and stuff like that.

What's your ultimate goal as far as your footy career goes? Obviously playing Origin and for Australia, but we mentioned John Sutton earlier, and that's something that is definitely an ultimate goal, to play 300 games for the one club. Especially the Roosters. How long have you had the nickname Victor the Inflictor? I played four games for the Coogee Wombats while I was still in under 20s, because if you didn't play under 20s Roosters that week you had to go find somewhere else to play. I went and played A Grade for Coogee because Clovelly didn't have a side. I played with a couple of other older Bronte boys, Brendan McKinnon and Froggy, and I think I hit a few blokes while playing for them, and that's where it started. I think it was actually Brendan and Froggy that started it. They made a massive sign saying ‘Victor the Inflictor’ for the under 20s grand final and then I think it just stuck. In an ideal world what does the future hold for Victor Radley? I’d be living in the Eastern Suburbs for the rest of my life and one day own a house here, and I’d never leave the Roosters. That's the dream. And find a beautiful lady and have lots of little mini Victor Radleys... Yeah. Have four boys. One of them can grow up in the gully. Perfect.






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BOUNDLESS PLAINS TO SHARE Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill Picture Dusty Plains


lthough we live in Sydney, we are all impacted by what occurs in rural Australia. Right now, at least 90 per cent of country NSW is drought affected. Here in the Eastern Suburbs most of us are only just becoming aware of this unfolding tragedy as the national media, a little belatedly, brings our attention to the plight of rural Australians. The economic, social and emotional implications for those on the land should be a real concern for all of us, and this is shown by the growing number of city-siders donating to the drought relief charities. Suicide rates in rural areas are consistently and tragically 40 per cent higher than in metropolitan areas, according to Sane Australia. Aside from what is hopefully a genuine universal desire to assist and care about our brothers and sisters on the land, we should also be deeply concerned about the plight of rural Australia for reasons which affect us all directly no matter where we live across this dry continent. What happens in the country has obvious implications for those living in large metropolitan areas including rising household costs for commodities produced by our fellow Aussies out in the bush.

54 The Beast | September 2018

Despite declining relative to other sectors of the economy, rural Australia plays a vital role in determining our nation’s economic wellbeing. Agriculture alone still accounts for about 15 per cent of all our exports. The price we pay for rural products is the most obvious and immediate economic implication of the drought for those of us in the cities. At the same time, though, our trade balance, foreign debt levels, dividends paid into our super funds and even the price we pay for a takeaway coffee are all ultimately influenced by how well or poorly we are doing in rural production and exports. Put simply, the welfare of the bush has always been and always will be vitally important to the wealth of our nation. While it is important that our attention is focused right now on the fate of rural Australians, I am quite convinced that our lives in the Eastern Suburbs would be greatly enhanced if we held this concern on a continuing basis, not just during the worst droughts or trade slumps. It is odd that despite our romantic notions of the ‘outback’, even as we profess to love a sunburnt country most of us prefer the coast, rarely visit the bush and

spend almost no time checking on how our country cousins are faring. Yet rural Australia is important to our lives in so many ways. We are deeply connected and our fates are intertwined. Consider how we feel about inappropriate and excessive development, traffic jams, ridiculous property and rental costs, and diminishing green spaces, when at precisely the same time our country towns wither and die. Inland dams run dry, farming families suffer and kids from the bush – the next generation – pack up and leave for the economic greener pastures of our increasingly less green big cities. We might reasonably enquire: What is government doing to encourage the development of sustainable rural communities, help our salt-of-the-earth farming families, boost water supplies and keep people from migrating away from the bush? Not much. In fact, the current Sydney-centric funding of infrastructure is literally draining rural and regional New South Wales dry. Smaller and more remote towns have been begging for relatively small investments to bring their hospitals and schools up to scratch, or to ensure

public libraries remain free for everyone to use. With a reduction in funding to our regional towns, populations from these regions are forced to move to the city for work, thus placing increasing pressure on our urban cities, forcing more infrastructure. And so the vortex continues. But there is an obvious solution, and it’s not that difficult to work out in policy terms when you stop to think about the implications of mass centralisation and urbanisation. The current NSW state and federal governments don’t have any appetite for it I’m afraid, but it’s called decentralisation spreading our growing population out across the nation, not just jamming us all into the big cities such as Sydney and Melbourne. It wasn’t that long ago that train lines stretched across NSW and linked our cities to our regional towns and those towns to one another. Now many regional air routes have shut down, post offices and banks have closed their doors and the cross subsidisation from the city to the bush of phone, postal and other services - made possible because government owned those businesses - is impossible with privatisation everywhere we look. We love the narrative - the idea of the Jolly Swagman, the jumbucks and the rolling plains - but we allow our governments to neglect our towns and it is in places like the Eastern Suburbs that we pay the price. Let’s give decentralisation a go. On a very basic level, surely, we should insist on country towns being properly funded through infrastructure projects that ensure our rural communities have access to work. After all, as the famous song says, we’ve boundless plains to share. Dr Marjorie O’Neill is a Waverley Councillor. The views expressed here are her own, although we generally agree with them. To donate to the Red Cross drought relief fund, visit www.redcross.


Andrew QUEENS PARK I love getting out of Sydney to unwind and relax, but living in rural Australia full-time just isn’t for me. I’ve recently launched a furniture brand called Reddie and I need to be based in Sydney where all of our customers, designers and architects are, so it wouldn’t make much sense to move. Running the business remotely from a country town wouldn’t be viable, especially in these early stages of the business.

Shirley CLOVELLY I actually have, but only since watching Heather Ewart on Back Roads, on the ABC. The rural communities seem to be absolutely fantastic and it looks like it would be a great place to live. In Yackandandah the community needed a petrol station so they got together and bought one. I think it would be good for young people to move to these towns and build them up. I’ve lived in Clovelly for 65 years and I’m very happy here.

Felipe BONDI I just did a trip across Australia with my girlfriend; we drove from Sydney to Perth along the coast and then back through the middle. Every town had its own unique feel and I absolutely loved it. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming. But would I live there? Definitely not. I need more stimulation. It’s too isolated and there are too many flies in summer. I wrote a song about it, check out The Ramsgates on Spotify. September 2018 | The Beast 55

How to ruin your life.

THE UNRELIABLE GUIDE TO... RENOVATING Words Nat Shepherd Picture Con Struction


he Unreliable Guide has recently suffered a flood that turned my wooden apartment floor into a skate park. Thanks to the blessed auspices of the insurance company this will be rectified, but it means a major renovation. We have to pack everything up and move out for five weeks while it all dries out. This does not please The Unreliable Guide one bit, but looking around the Eastern Suburbs it would seem that loads of you love messing about with your spaces and are voluntarily engaging in life-uprooting renovations. This is madness, but if you insist, The Unreliable Guide has some tips and tricks to make sure you don’t suffer a nervous breakdown in the process...

half will fight. Comedian and parttime builder Luke Heggie suggests that once the initial fun of dabbing paint on each other’s noses has worn off, the average marriage will last about the same time it takes to paint three-quarters of a three-bedroom semi. Just pay the professionals to do the job. You carry on being a fund manager. It’s totally fine.

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? Some people try and carry on living in their place while it’s being f*cked with. This is never a good idea. Just bite the bullet, move out and have a mini holiday in your own town. Seriously, life is too short for Gyprock Weet-bix.

BE NICE TO YOUR NEIGHBOURS You’ve moved out into a peaceful Airbnb down the road, but your neighbours are stuck there listening to power tools screech, grind and thump while your builders yell at each other across an out-of-tune radio that’s playing Triple M at full blast. While you relax and enjoy a mini-holiday, they’re picking grit boogers out of their noses or falling out of bed because your digger is shaking up the foundations. The very least you can do is pop round with a few handmade chocolate brownies and a bottle of Passion Pop.

PAY THE PROFESSIONALS DIY painting, sanding and construction is fun for about two hours, then you and your better

DON’T BE SCARED OF THE COUNCIL These days you require a council development application just to give your own bush a trim (unless

56 The Beast | September 2018

you are a developer, in which case you can build a 52-apartment mega-construction that breaks all of the local planning rules). For your own renovations, choose a builder who knows how to deal with council regulations on your behalf - a day spent shouting at low-paid council nobodies won’t do anybody any good. BE REALISTIC It doesn’t matter which paint colour you choose, your ground floor Bondi flat will never look like a Tuscan villa. Just be grateful you’ve managed to cover up the blood-stained walls and eliminate the weird smell of fish. Also, if the contractor’s quote suggests 20 thousand dollars and three weeks to completion, it means 40 thousand and minimum six weeks. Knowing these things in advance will prevent a great deal of stress and disappointment. Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests you switch off your water supply before you go away anywhere and remember to replace your hot water tank every five years. These things can just go OFF people!

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ASPHALT SPOILS PARADISE Words Con Gestion Picture Dee Velop


ow many times have you had a coffee, wine, beer, or a bite to eat in an Eastern Beaches cafe and bemoaned the traffic separating you from the sea, your search for peaceful ocean gazing destroyed by the asphalt, fumes, noise and scenic horror of the traffic as cars, buses, vans and trucks trundle by, soiling the view? Only the likes of the Bondi Icebergs and the Coogee Pavilion have seamless traffic-free integration with our ocean. Long may they last; I love them. We need more places to commune with the ocean, free of the sirens of commerce and asphalt spoilt paradise. Isn’t this something that all great sea-bound cultures do - the Spanish, French, Greeks, Carribeans? These would be smaller, more intimate cafes, restaurants and pop-up bars in which to escape, enjoy and enlighten, being at one, enveloped by beach, sea and sky. It is something that everyone will enjoy, and in the future we will all say, “Why did it take so long?” But where can this occur, sensitively and harmoniously, without creating mini Darling Harbours or Wonderlands? Of course, it’s our bloated, boxy surf clubs that are the answer. 58 The Beast | September 2018

Your humble correspondent, Constantine Theodorakis Gestion, has some experience on this subject. I have been a local surf club member for many years, regularly visit the surf clubland of the Gold Coast, and have just spent two weeks in Biarritz in southwestern France where gorgeous vibrant seaside bars and cafes abound, asphalt necklace free. Surf clubs don’t currently provide this public service as they’re strangled by red tape, petty politics, selfishness and conservatism. They have the best locations, drop-dead gorgeous views and plenty of unoccupied space for much of the week, and during winter and shoulder periods. They have all the amenities required and generally boast effective management. Pop-ups could also happen nearby in parkland or, God forbid, in the clubs’ asphalt car parks. For starters there is North Bondi, Tamarama, Bronte, Clovelly, Coogee and Maroubra. And what about some of the ocean pools - Wiley’s, Mahon, etcetera? I am thinking my first dish will be kingfish cerviche sourced from the Sydney Fish Market with coleslaw, kimchi and a cool climate Tumbarumba Riesling to wash

it down, with a full moon rising over the inky ocean horizon as a backdrop. Just across the border, the Gold Coast surf clubs do it pretty easily, and sometimes very well, while still conducting their core business of lifesaving, education and ocean sports. Their food, unfortunately, fails badly. Down here we could do it with more style, with less of the Las Vegas big box, battered fish and schnitzels, and more of a French café feel with no poker machines. In fact, the surf clubs could become the role models for successful commercial diversification and a beacon in the fight against poker machines in all clubs and bars where human values are currently trashed. Let’s demonstrate a healthy lifestyle and sustainable values! There are multiple benefits associated with converting parts of our surf clubs, parks and asphalt to cafes and restaurants, such as the economic use of grossly underutilised public assets, a source of rental income for the clubs instead of government subsidies, and, of course, a better experience for locals and visitors. It’s time to get modern. Everyone will benefit. The surf clubs will become more independent. Surf safety and ocean awareness will be amplified. Whales, waves and aimless watching can occur with no asphalt spoiler. Local economies can flourish from the new reboot and refresh on the coastal walk, a tourist icon of world renown. The cake will grow and be tastier. Competition should not be feared. We need to lift our game. Imagine what great architects, interior designers and restaurateurs could do with a slice of those big underused seaside spaces. Personally, I would fly a few French Biarritz architects across to set the standard. A simple design brief could ensure seamless integration in space, colour and texture. Our history and passion for the sea could be described in fittings, furniture and art. The challenge is on - the past or the future?

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RIDE ON TIME Words Dan Trotter Picture Sonny Gordon

How’s the enemy?” I reflect on them saying. It was an unusual way to ask about the time, I always thought. That was, until life got so busy that I didn’t have the time to do all the things I love to do, like going fishing or just lying in the sun, reading a book and staring up into the cloudless blue sky, contemplating what forever and eternity actually means. It seems that today everyone around us is pressed for time time to sleep, time to spend time with friends and loved ones, time to cook, or time to simply browse the paper. Where has it all gone, I often wonder? The answer it seems is that it has disappeared into the very items that were supposed to save us time - technology, travelling in cars or on public transport, making enough money to relax and make the most out of life. Was life simpler before all of these mod cons arrested control of our lives? The academics and researchers who ponder these questions generally agree that life

60 The Beast | September 2018

was simpler and the pre-industrialised civilisations had more time for all the things we often miss out on, like community, relationships, sleeping and, well, just being. Were these people happier? That’s a tougher question to answer. Fishing is the pause that provides many of us with a break from the rush of life that occupies our time, so I guess I need to take a leaf out of my own book and make time to just be. September is a tricky month for fishing out of Sydney. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just that you need to be as precise as possible and make the most out of the time you find to wet a line - precise on the locations, the timing of the tides and the offering you make to tempt a fish to bite. It’s a great month to journey further afield, up or down the coast or overseas to international waters - perhaps a trip to California to chase trout or to one of the Pacific Island nations to fish for tropical species?

This year I’m fortunate to be going to California to fish the rivers that flow west from the Sierra Nevada mountain range for a swag of trout species. It’s a solo mission to take the time to get back to nature and spend days quietly focused on a single fish in the hope that it may rise and take the fly I’ve selected as an offering. Fingers crossed a few take up the offer and deliver me to fishing nirvana, but even if they don’t it will be great to forget about the enemy, at least for a while. Closer to home, there’s enough to keep the patient angler interested, like whiting off the beach or Australian salmon off the rocks or from the boat. It’s also a good month to find and fish below the bait balls rounded up by the striped tuna. Experience shows both snapper and trevally know this, which offers a unique opportunity for the precise and switched on fisho. Tight lines to you all and please do a fish dance for me. I’ll bring a story or two back and hopefully a dozen or so photos to share.

SEPTEMBER 2018 TIDE CHART Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Picture Adam Kain MONDAY





4 0228 0823 1502 2150

1.21 0.56 1.56 0.50

5 0348 0935 1612 2300

1.22 0.54 1.64 0.39

11 0309 0918 1517 2133

0.12 1.64 0.23 1.80

12 0351 1003 1608 2220

1.14 0.66 1.43 0.61

18 0256 0831 1515 2211

1.10 0.70 1.41 0.59

0.33 1.45 0.41 1.65

25 0212 0817 1414 2027

0.30 1.51 0.37 1.64

1.27 0.54 1.51 0.56

10 0226 0831 1427 2045

0.10 1.61 0.22 1.90

17 0145 0729 1410 2104 24 0141 0744 1336 1951

Colourful Maroubra


1 0540 0.43 1203 1.49 1813 0.54

2 0015 0625 1255 1915

1.36 0.49 1.50 0.56

8 0052 0655 1241 1906

9 0141 0744 1334 1957

0.11 1.55 0.25 1.94

15 0552 0.50 1221 1.53 1851 0.53

16 0045 0636 1312 1955

1.23 0.59 1.47 0.59

21 0555 1.25 1134 0.59 1759 1.54

22 0034 0634 1219 1839

0.42 1.32 0.52 1.59

23 0108 0710 1259 1915

0.37 1.39 0.46 1.63

28 0350 1007 1618 2225

29 0427 1048 1707 2312

0.39 1.63 0.40 1.40

• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter 3 0115 0718 1355 2030


6 0501 1.28 1044 0.48 1715 1.75

7 0000 0601 1145 1814

0.28 1.37 0.39 1.85

0.19 1.65 0.28 1.67

13 0432 1049 1700 2306

0.28 1.62 0.36 1.51

14 0512 1134 1754 2354

0.39 1.58 0.45 1.36

19 0408 0940 1618 2308

1.12 0.69 1.44 0.54

20 0508 1043 1713 2354

1.18 0.65 1.48 0.48

26 0243 0851 1452 2104

0.30 1.56 0.35 1.61

27 0315 0928 1534 2143

0.31 1.60 0.35 1.56

0.34 1.62 0.36 1.49

0.18 1.46 0.31 1.92

30 0509 0.45 1135 1.61 1802 0.44

Call on me, call on me...

WHAT ABOUT TESTOSTERONE FOR WOMEN? Words Matty Silver, Sex Therapist Picture Misty Flange


ane Fonda, who turned 80 last year, gave a candid interview several years ago in which she admitted that her sex life needed some artificial help and she had been taking testosterone to boost it from the age of 70. She attributed her youthful looks and happy demeanour to a healthy love life. "If you want to remain sexual and your libido has dropped, taking a small dose of the libidoboosting hormone testosterone makes a huge difference," she said. Evidence that women can become testosterone-deficient has been largely ignored. Only levels of the ‘female’ hormones progesterone and oestrogen were thought to be important for a woman's health and 62 The Beast | September 2018

wellbeing. But many experts now believe that it's the loss of testosterone, not oestrogen, that causes women in midlife to gain weight, feel fatigue and lose mental focus, bone density and muscle tone. The medical profession traditionally responds to menopausal complaints by prescribing oestrogen and progesterone, which address some of the usual menopause discomforts but do very little to enhance libido or energy. However, there is a popular synthetic hormone on the market called Tibolone (Livial), which converts in the body to substances that act like oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone. It is said to enhance women's mood and libido, reduce

hot flushes and sweats, improve vaginal dryness and protect against osteoporosis. Professor Susan Davis from Monash University and her colleagues from the Jean Hailes Foundation in Melbourne have been studying testosterone for the past two decades and have conducted several intensive trials. Studies concluded that post-menopausal women on testosterone showed a significant improvement in cognitive function, verbal learning and memory. In another study, tests were done on two different doses (5mg and 10mg) of the testosterone cream known as AndroFeme1, which was developed in Australia. The 5mg dose brought postmenopausal women's testosterone back into the normal premenopausal range. It should be noted that low testosterone levels in women of all ages can be a key factor in female sexual dysfunction, especially diminished desire. Administering a low dose of testosterone can restore libido, heighten arousal and increase the frequency of sexual fantasies. In my practice I see many women aged 30 and over who complain that they have no libido left and don't feel like sex anymore. When I refer them to their GPs to have their hormone levels tested they are often low in testosterone. However, most GPs are not happy to prescribe women testosterone. As far as I know AndroFeme1 is only available in pharmacies in Western Australia on prescription. Men have easy access to testosterone; they have the choice of testosterone gels, solutions, patches, capsules, injections and topical creams. Most physicians have no problems prescribing it. About $16.5 million is spent annually on testosterone products - not including sales by compounding pharmacies, which are mainly untested, or steroids bought at gyms or illegally over the Internet. It's time for Australian women to ask the question: Why is testosterone therapy easily available for men and not for women?


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91 Beauchamp Rd, Matraville Phone 9666 4577 Email Web September 2018 | The Beast 63

The greatest rivalry in rugby league.



ith the NRL finals almost upon us and both local teams looking like genuine contenders, September is going to be an exciting time in the east. It has been over 80 years since the two great foes met each other in the big dance. Could it happen again? The logical mind says no, Melbourne will win, but we can dare to dream. Living in the heart of one of Australia’s great rivalries while not caring greatly for either side has given me a reasonable insight into the beating heart of both clubs. A quick look at the stats shows that the Bunnies have won more games, more premierships and, dare I say, more hearts around the world. But no one cares about the stats. Stats only exist to give boring men collateral. And global hearts are fickle things, easily tempted by the next underdog (though their record suggests they are anything but). What about the fans? I have met both, had beers with both, analysed both, and I can conclu64 The Beast | September 2018

sively say that they’re both bloody strange units. Souths fans range from Andrew Denton to that bloke who got his penis out on the national news, and I must admit I haven’t met too many Dentons. There is, in fact, a real underlying threat when speaking to a Souths fan that genitals could be unveiled at any point - in a playful, non-threatening way, I assure you, but it’s still an unsettling reality. Roosters fans, on the other hand, play their cards very close to their chests. In the unlikely event a Roosters fan unveils their genitals unexpectedly around you, I daresay debts are being called in and you really should have known what you were getting into. Souths fans will tell you that Roosters fans are pretty-boy latte sippers, but what’s wrong with that? It’s very much an old-school position that doesn’t work anymore. Especially as Souths players now rock about in Armani suits and hang out with Hollywood royalty.

It is hard to get a Roosters fan to give their opinion of Souths fans, because first you’ve got to get past the doorman, but the sneer in their eyes when they see the cardinal and myrtle on the street says enough. It is the perfect rivalry in many ways. The traditionally cashed up club doing their best to look down their nose at the pesky battlers next door, despite the fact those battlers possess a far superior record. It’s much like the State of Origin. Queensland has managed to maintain this perennial underdog tag, despite the fact history says otherwise. Yet it plays into the arrogance of their opponent, so everybody wins. What is certain is that, should we get that magical grand finale - Victor the Inflictor and Mad Dog Matterson versus the British Bulldog Burgess Brothers - the energy around the beaches will be as electric as being front row at a 30 Odd Foot of Grunts gig.

Did you know that Sunday September 16 is Sustainable House Day? Celebrate with us at the Eco-Living Expo, which will open the door to a host of new ideas, innovations and ways to live a more sustainable life. Come see us at the Randwick Community Centre from 9.30am to 3pm and be inspired. We’ll have some great speakers talking about topics that mean the most to them. Dr Karl Kruszelnicki will let us in on the future of energy, War on Waste’s Craig Reucassel will weigh in on recycling and Erin Rhoades, aka the Rogue Ginger, will share some practical ways to live waste-free. There’ll be stalls with information on solar power and energy saving, an electric vehicle on display, a sustainable demonstration studio and ecofriendly products for your home. Young Henrys will offer tastings of their solar-powered beer, which will go quite nicely with the all-day wood fire pizza workshop, using ingredients from our Community Garden. The Eco-Living Expo will be a single-use plastic free event. We’ll collect food waste and will responsibly compost all biodegradable cups and packaging items. Hope to see you there. Councillor Lindsay Shurey Mayor of Randwick 1 September

7 September

14 September

Thursdays until 27 September

Saturday 22 September

Tuesday 25 September

Nursery Spring Sale 9am-4pm Randwick Community Nursery 2B Barker St Kingsford

Bop 2 Books (Toddlers, 24-35 months) 11.30am-noon Lionel Bowen Library, Maroubra 669-673 Anzac Parade, Maroubra

Friday volunteers in the permaculture garden 9:30am-12:30pm Randwick Community Centre 27 Munda St Randwick

Intermediate Bike Maintenance 1.30pm Randwick Community Centre 27 Munda Street, Randwick

Bernadette Robinson in Concert 7pm-8pm Randwick Town Hall 90 Avoca Street, Randwick

Free Food Handler Workshop 10am-12:30pm Randwick Room, Council Administration building 30 Frances St Randwick


Anthony Sharpe uses The Daily Telegraph to line his bin, but only after he's read it cover to cover.

FOUR ALTERNATIVES TO SINGLE-USE PLASTIC BAGS FOR YOUR KITCHEN BIN Words Leslie Mallinson - Sustainable Communities, Waverley Council Picture Leslie Mallinson


ingle-use plastic bags are officially on the way out at your local supermarket (unless your supermarket of choice is Coles). So how should we line our kitchen bins now that there’ll be no leftover shopping bags? Even before the ‘bag ban’, it’s been an issue grappled with by the many people who are trying to make plastic-free living second nature. Let’s weigh up the pros and cons of four alternatives for your kitchen rubbish... GO NAKED You could decide to ditch a singleuse bin liner altogether. Just place your items directly in your small bin. Pros: No need to spend hardearned cash on liners or worry about where you’ll get your next bag/liner from. Cons: You may need to rinse your bin more often as food waste can make things a bit messy. Side note: Ordering a worm farm or compost bin is a great way to recycle your food scraps, reduce waste going to landfill and make the ‘naked bin’ a much cleaner, less fussy option. Get a heavily discounted bin or worm farm at

66 The Beast | September 2018

REUSE PACKAGING Reuse your leftover chip packet, take-away food bag or your old bread bag. Pros: It will save you some cash and they are really easy to use as they should fit inside your small kitchen bin. Cons: Inconsistent sizes of packaging means these items could fill up more quickly than other bin liner options; this option also sends any recyclable packaging used as a bin liner to landfill instead of recycling. PAPER BIN LINING Try lining your kitchen bin with an old newspaper. Pros: It’s plastic-free and can be a fun crafting exercise to do with children. Plus it’s really great to use if you are composting or have a worm farm already as most of your waste will be dry. It’s also easy to carry outside and tip in your garbage bin. Cons: It’s catered to smaller (~5-litre) bins, and if you’re not recycling your food waste the paper liner can get wet and messy, meaning you will most likely need to rinse the bin out much more often.

THE ‘BIODEGRADABLE/ COMPOSTABLE’ PLASTIC BAG These are the most common replacement for single-use plastic bags. You can buy them from supermarkets, hardware stores or online. Pros: Compostable and biodegradable bags are broken down as they are designed to with Council’s red bin waste contractor. Red bin waste is taken to the Veolia Mechanical Biological Treatment facility, an industrial composting facility that turns our waste into a compost material that is used to rehabilitate an old mine site. Cons: It tends to be a more expensive option and you need to take them out once every three days, otherwise bags can start to disintegrate and get holes in them. VERDICT While there is no silver bullet solution, you could try each option for a week or two and see what works best in your home. Tell us what you think - we’d love to hear about your experiences, tips and suggestions email secondnature@waverley.

MAYOR‘S MESSAGE Festival of the Winds We are very excited to be celebrating the 40th anniversary of Waverley Council’s Festival of the Winds from 11am to 4pm on Sunday 9 September at Bondi Park. The event is one of the world’s best known kite flying festivals attracting around 40,000 visitors. Festival of the Winds has something for everyone including a main stage with live performances, food stalls, kite making workshops and amateur kite flying competitions. We look forward to seeing you there.

Events History Week Talk: the Picturesque Garden Thursday 6 September, 11–12pm Waverley Cemetery opened in 1877 in the picturesque cemetery design of the mid-to-late 19th century. The exhibition ‘A Picturesque Garden’ shows the diversity of flora from the opening of the cemetery to the more recent plantings and recommendations for plantings. Bookings at

Write Your Memoir Workshop

You may have noticed that we are currently upgrading our water harvesting system at Waverley Park. The system captures groundwater seepage at the park, and the water is then filtered and used to irrigate Waverley Oval, sports fields and ornamental gardens as well as flushing toilets at Council’s Margaret Whitlam Recreation Centre. The upgrade will help save around seven million litres of drinking water each year – enough water to fill three standard Olympic-sized swimming pools. The upgrade is due for completion around September.

Thursday 6 September, 4–6pm Cost: $15 Join Sarah Klenbort for a memoir writing workshop in conjunction with History Week. The workshop will examine the key elements of memoir writing. Attendees will have an opportunity to share their in-class writing and receive feedback. Sarah Klenbort is a prize-winning writer, who teaches literature at Western Sydney University and Creative Writing at Sydney Community College. Bookings at


Tech Time: Online Dating

Water harvesting at Waverley Park

We’ve had such a great response to the Bondi Beach Reverse Vending Machine (RVM) in the carpark at Park Drive that we are considering installing a pop-up e-waste collection point next to the RVM until the end of September. Council already runs free local e-waste drop off events twice a year at Rose Bay and Alexandria. We collect around 50 tonnes of e-waste for recycling including printers, computers and mobile phones at these events.

John Wakefield, Mayor of Waverley CUSTOMER SERVICE CENTRE 55 Spring Street, Bondi Junction NSW 2022 PO Box 9, Bondi Junction NSW 1355 PHONE 9083 8000 WEB

Tuesday 25 September, 10–12pm Looking for Mr or Ms Right? Do you think dating in the Digital Age can be daunting? Join us at Waverley Library during Library Lovers Week as we help you navigate the world of online dating. Bring your enthusiasm and your mobile device! Bookings at

For more event info visit our website

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acao is the only place in China where gambling is legal and it is also home to eight of the world’s ten largest casinos based on revenue. A phenomenal 30 million-plus travellers visit Macao each year, cramming in to a 32 square kilometre space with the island’s 650,000 residents, making it one of the most densely populated regions in the world. The main reason for my recent trip to Macao wasn’t to render myself penniless on the island’s roulette tables, but to discover the historical treasure trove of Asian and Portuguese culture and cuisine that it prides itself upon. In 1557 the People’s Republic of China leased Macao to Portugal as a trading post. In 1887 the Portuguese secured an agreement from China that made Macao a Portuguese territory until it was handed back to the Chinese government in 1999. We learnt more about this fascinating little place on our first day whilst on an early morning walk through the densely populated Portuguese and Chinese quarter with our Macao born-and-bred guide Joao Sales. Passing crates of drying fish on the sidewalks, we walked to the peaceful and undulating Camões Gardens, where tai chi and exercise classes share this inner city oasis with the loudest little frogs in the world. Nearby are some of Macao’s most popular tourist attractions, such as St Paul’s Church ruins (only the façade remains), which was burnt down in 1865 and never rebuilt, the baroque St Dominic’s Church, the Macao Cathedral and the Chinese Na Tcha Temple. Our walk concluded at UNESCO’s world heritage site Senado Square, with its wave patterned stone mosaic surface that has been Macao’s urban centre for centuries. Passing the busiest foodie street in town, we were told that some of the little shops there have been mentioned in the Michelin rating guidebooks.

68 The Beast | September 2018

“We have included street food to reflect the local culinary scene, as street food is part of the local way of life,” the international director of the Michelin guide said. Macao was originally made up of a peninsula connected to the mainland
and two islands, Coloane and Taipa. The islands are now linked by the reclaimed area of Cotai, where most of the casinos and resorts are today. From Macao we were driven to Coloane Island to experience a Portuguese lunch of traditional Macanese food at the charming Espaco Lisboa restaurant, where we gorged upon garlic prawns, salted cod garnished with olives and potatoes, and a Macanese favourite, minced lamb topped with a fried egg. We all rolled out of there, but not before we demolished a delectable Portuguese tart or two. Leaving historical Coloane Island we headed to modern Cotai, where we visited the Galaxy Hotel complex, home to five hotels including the dazzling Ritz-Carlton. It was here that we visited the 51st floor RC Bar, which offered Macao’s largest selection of gins and views that went on forever. Later on we were entertained at the Parisian Macao Hotel by a dynamic cabaret performance by La Parisienne Cabaret Francais, an eclectic combo of burlesque dancers, acrobatic basketballers, ice skaters and motorbike stunt men. We then checked in to the mindbogglingly opulent MGM Cotai Hotel, where we stayed for two nights, and kicked things off with a lunch at the AJI Restaurant, which is the first authentic Japanese/Peruvian fusion Nikkei restaurant in Macao. The highlight of our meal was a 50-hour sous vide Kagoshima beef short rib smothered in netsuke sauce. Incredible. That evening our gastronomical journey took us to the Wynn Palace Hotel - via a six-seated cable car called Skycab - for an evening of food, music and entertainment at SW Restaurant and Theatre, and it was here that I devoured a perfectly cooked piece of wagyu beef. The next day our tour continued

to Red Market, a three-level fresh produce market located in downtown Macao where huge smiles with the notable absence of teeth are common place. We later enjoyed a traditional Chinese tea at the Long Wa Tea House. We then walked over to the waterfront to witness more of Macao’s amazing history including the influential A-Ma Temple, the so-called birthplace of Macao. This walk allowed us to indulge in a lunch in the City of Dreams Resort at a two-star Michelin Chinese restaurant called the Jade Dragon. Every single dish was a highlight, but if I were forced to pick just one it would have to be the crispy suckling pig with caviar. Outrageously good. Our busy agenda included a dynamic live show at the City of Dreams Resort called The House of Dancing Water, which is the world’s largest water-based stage show. The high diving display we witnessed was pure lunacy. It was like Cirque Du Soleil on steroids. Later that afternoon, as a striking sunset shrouded Taipa Island, we walked the historical little laneways and had drinks at the newly opened Goa Nights bar before another authentic Portuguese feast at the family owned Santos Restaurant. The last day saw us visit the newly named Regency Art Hotel, where we indulged in our final and finest Macanese five-course banquet at the art deco Flamingo Restaurant. It was like a walk back in time as this restaurant and the hotel in which it’s housed still retain all of the old world charm of yesteryear. This was a memorable trip that will have Macao imbedded in my memory and my taste buds for a very long time to come.

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BONDI BEACH PUBLIC BAR: PUB GRUB WITH PANACHE Words Siriol Dafydd Instagram @sirioldafyddwriter Picture Ronald Sanders


espite its relatively short existence, Bondi Beach Public Bar needs little introduction. If you’ve been to Bondi this year you would have already seen this bar occupying prime Bondi Beach real estate on the corner of Campbell Parade and Curlewis Street, bustling with a trendy crowd on evenings and weekends. Within crawling distance of Hotel Bondi (literally), it’s the perfect place to enjoy your Friday or Saturday night drinks until last call prompts the inevitable move to the infamous late-night haunt where dignities go to die. So you’ve probably already necked a fair few drinks there, but 74 The Beast | September 2018

did you know that Bondi Beach Public Bar also serves bloody good food? The menu is a mix of pub food with Australian and Italian twists. It ranges from salads suitable for vegans, vegetarians and the healthconscious, to tasty treats like burgers, pizza and fried chicken for the hungover or hungry (or both). On a horribly rainy and horrendously windy Tuesday lunchtime, my dining partner and I were given a generous sample of a number of dishes. Let’s start with the best of the pub grub. The Double Squish Cheeseburger is like a Big Mac on steroids. Juicy, cheesy, greasy and satisfying,

it comes with two chunky beef patties, cheese, bacon and onion. The Ham and Cheese Crochettes, served with shaved prosciutto and horseradish, are a salty and delightfully naughty side dish or snack. Bella’s Fried Chicken is a delicious combination of wings and tenders served with three different dipping sauces, pickles, salad and flatbread - messy, spicy and divine, but definitely not the best dish to pick if you’re on a date. At least, not the first date. For the health-conscious, or those who like to save their daily calorie quota for wine, beer or cocktails, the Caprese Salad is

light and flavoursome. Made with a rainbow of green, yellow and red chunky tomatoes accompanied by buffalo mozzarella and basil, it’s the perfect light meal. It also makes a nice and refreshing side salad if you feel the need to add something to your burger in order to at least pretend that you are making healthy choices in life. My favourite dish was the Bondi Chop Salad. A mix of chargrilled broccoli, almonds, biodynamic farro, chilli, herbs, tomato and lemon, it was fresh, tangy and filling. Ours came with the addition of fried chicken tenders - just to add a bit of naughtiness to an otherwise perfectly healthy meal but the menu also offers optional smoked trout or boiled eggs to amp up the protein. On the food front, Bondi Beach Public Bar is not trying to reinvent the wheel. They’re not trying to be a posh five-star restaurant (thank God), but what they do offer is pub grub with an extra bit of panache; they’ve taken a selection of old favourites and added some clever tweaks to make them as good as they possibly can be. The atmosphere is relaxed with urban-cool decor and chilled music. It’s a great place to enjoy a casual lunch and an even better place to line your stomach before a heavy night on the booze. Word on the street is that management is planning on making some exciting changes to the back of the room in time for spring, so keep an eye out for something awesome about to drop soon. Bondi Beach Public Bar Address 180 Campbell Parade, Bondi Beach Instagram @b.b.p.b Phone 9132 5777 Email Open 7 days 11am-1am (midnight on Sundays) Prices Check the website Cards Accepted Visa, Mastercard, Amex, Diners, Eftpos Licensed Yes, of course

Any excuse to eat chocolate.

CHOC GINGER COOKIES Recipe and Picture Jacqueline Alwill


ne of my dearest friends inspired these choc ginger cookies. She wandered into our kitchen in Bondi as we were brainstorming delicious recipes to whip up for the winter months and when I asked what her favourites were, chocolate and ginger were the first things to come to mind. So I thought of a few ways we could combine these ingredients, but the standout for my gorgeous friend, who is known for her love of a cuppa, was a yummy yet nourishing cookie filled with chocolate and ginger. These cookies are quick and easy, taking about five minutes to put together using ingredients you’ll likely have on hand or can easily grab at the corner store. Plus they’ve got the beautiful flavour and nutrition infused by the ginger, a spice well known for supporting the health of our circulatory system, warming the body during the cold winter months. This choc ginger cookie recipe is glutenfree, dairy-free, egg-free and refined sugar-free, and there's enough to make 12 cookies. This recipe is an absolute winner! INGREDIENTS 1½ cups almond meal ¼ cup raw cacao

1 teaspoon ground ginger (add about ½ teaspoon more if you like a quite gingery flavour) 1 teaspoon vanilla Pinch of sea salt 3 tablespoons maple syrup 3-4 tablespoons olive oil (add the 4th tablespoon if the mixture feels too dry) METHOD 1. Preheat oven to 160°C and line baking tray with greaseproof paper; 2. Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl; 3. Roll into 12 balls, then place on the baking tray and press down lightly with the back of a fork; 4. Cook in the middle of your oven for 20-25 minutes; 5. Cool on a baking tray and store in an airtight container. This wholesome recipe was kindly provided by local nutritionist and author Jacqueline Alwill. To order the newly launched Brown Paper Eats vegetarian, ready-made, home-delivered meals, visit You can check out Jacqueline’s work on Instagram by following @brownpapernutrition. September 2018 | The Beast 75

Combination domination.

PEANUT BUTTER SWEET TREATS Recipe and Picture Catherine Noonan


f Vegemite didn’t have such a catchy jingle then I’m sure peanut butter would have claimed the prize for the most popular Aussie spread. Peanut butter has been around forever and has recently experienced a resurgence in popularity. It has a great nutritional profile, as demonstrated by the more boutique brands containing only Australian peanuts, salt and nothing more. Peanuts, however, are not actually nuts - they are in fact legumes. They grow underground in a fashion not dissimilar to potatoes. Talk about confusing! Because of their status as a legume, they are off limits for the staunch paleo crew, and they are banned from just about every day-care centre and primary school in the country due to their allergy risk. Talk about tough love! But maybe it’s this tough love treatment that has transformed this humble legume spread from an awkwardly common poor man’s staple to something of a near delicacy for occasions only outside the school yard. Whatever the reason, to celebrate peanut butter’s longevity in 76 The Beast | September 2018

a market fraught with competition and red tape, I’ve concocted a couple of deliciously simple recipes that I know you will come to love and savour...

PEANUT BUTTER CARAMELS Ingredients 12 Medjool dates ¼ cup smooth peanut butter 10g dark chocolate

SALTED PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE Ingredients 200g coconut oil 1 cup smooth peanut butter ½ cup rice malt syrup ¼ cup maple syrup 2 teaspoons sea salt flakes

Method 1. Gently open and remove the date seeds, moulding them carefully into bowl-like vessels; 2. Spoon 1 teaspoon of peanut butter into each date; 3. Using a fine grater, grate the dark chocolate on top of the peanut butter-filled dates; 4. To set, transfer to the freezer for a couple of hours. Keep frozen and only remove immediately prior to serving. Once set you will find them irresistibly chewy, just like a healthy version of a peanut butter caramel.

Method 1. In a small saucepan, gently warm the coconut oil, until soft; 2. Remove from the heat, then add the peanut butter, rice malt syrup and maple syrup, stirring briskly with a fork until perfectly smooth; 3. Stir in 1 teaspoon of the sea salt flakes; 4. Pour the mixture into a square cake tin, lined with non-stick paper; 5. Finally, sprinkle the remaining 1 teaspoon of sea salt flakes on top of the mixture and transfer to the freezer to set; 6. Once set firm, slice into 16 portions. Only remove immediately prior to serving.

Cath Noonan is a self-confessed health-foodie, recipe creator, and nutrition student, as well as the founder of healthy food blog, I Heart Scratch. Check out the delicious food pics on her Instagram account, @i_heart_scratch, and find more recipes by visiting

22-30 September 2018

On your bike at Heffron Park!

Join us for a morning of fun on two wheels! Sunday 23 September 2018


Heffron Pedal Park, Jersey Rd, Maroubra Explore Heffron Park on two wheels or let the kids have some fun at the Pedal Park, a dedicated bike track for kids to ride bikes and scooters and learn safe riding skills. Please remember to bring your helmet.

FREE: • • • • •

Coffee Bike hire Bike maintenance Sausage sizzle Great bike giveaways

For event details, call Randwick City Council’s Sustainable Transport Officer on 9093 6000 or email:

For more information visit

MOJO JUJU Native Tongue Label ABC Music Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Sometimes things just slip under your radar. Like a stealth bomber in a ‘90s action movie, Mojo Juju certainly flew under mine. With Native Tongue, she has arrived to drop off her payload, but her motivation isn’t widespread panic and horror. Rather, it is to lay down some of the most memorable tracks I’ve heard for quite some time. It’s R&B, I guess, but there’s a whole lot of other stuff going on too - a bit like an Aussie Frank Ocean without all the fanfare and wank. This truly took me by surprise. I implore you to get around it.


FILM REVIEW TITLE BlacKkKlansman GENRE Drama REVIEWER Linda Heller-Salvador Life is stranger than fiction in director Spike Lee’s latest film, in which he shines a harsh yet amusing light on how, over the last 40 years, little has changed in the fight for racial equality. BlacKkKlansman, winner of the Grand Prix at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, has been adapted from the unbelievable memoirs of Ron Stallworth, the first African-American officer in the Colorado Springs Police Department, who in 1978 successfully infiltrated the notorious enclaves of the white supremacist group the Ku Klux Klan. Bored and feeling underutilised with his routine of menial duties as a rookie, Ron ( John David Washington) volunteers for undercover detail. On a whim he calls a phone number from a KKK recruitment advertisement, pretends to be a white supremacist bigot, is given membership into the organisation and, with the help of fellow officer Flip Zimmerman (Adam Driver), must now follow through with his surreal deception. Knowing the gravity of the subject matter and considering our current political situation, there are moments when you know you shouldn’t be laughing, but with dialogue like, “We will never elect somebody like David Duke (Grand Wizard of the KKK) to be President of the United States of America,” the irony of it is all too overwhelmingly scary not to. 78 The Beast | September 2018

Label Polyvinyl Record Co. Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  This album was sold to me as ‘fun’, but it’s not really that fun at all. It’s more like hanging on the beach with a comfortable lover, which is kind of fun, but very much on the lower end of the spectrum. I was expecting red cordial, jumping on the bed, screaming at your siblings fun. Strangely enough, though, I wasn’t disappointed. I’m not sure I’m into fun music anymore. There’s certainly a place for it, but as I slip into middle age and the world literally melts, I struggle to have any sort of fun that doesn’t involve liver destroying escapism.

THE INTERNET Hive Mind Label Columbia Records Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  I think there is a part of all of us - even if it’s just a small part - that wants to spend some time living in a New York loft apartment, occupying ourselves by drinking cocktails with self-indulgent, pansexual, atheist intellectuals in lounge bars. If you were to envisage a soundtrack to that lifestyle, this would be it. It is smokey, seductive and smart, but not too smart; George Clooney smart as opposed to Bill Gates. You should entertain guests to this album, because they will think you’re Clooney cool. As a side note, it is also the perfect album to cook risotto to.

Artist impression

Coogee Bay Road streetscape upgrade

We are making Coogee Bay Road a place for people with more space to gather and interact. Overview Randwick City Council is improving the Coogee town centre by removing overhead powerlines, widening footpaths and installing new pavers, street trees and street furniture. We are making Coogee Bay Road a place for people with more space and nicer areas to gather and interact. We are strengthening and supporting local businesses by making the area more attractive and inviting for shoppers and tourists.


Features ✔ wider footpaths ✔ supporting local businesses ✔ more space for people ✔ new street trees and paving ✔ underground power ✔ more outdoor dining ✔ improved public safety

Improving Coogee Bay Road is an important priority for many members of the community.

Construction timing Work is being staged to minimise impact on businesses and shoppers. No work will take place over summer.

Coogee Bay Road will remain a two-way street with free onstreet parking on both sides of the street.

Stage 1: Sep to Dec 2018 Stage 2: Mar to late 2019

1300 722 542






















ACROSS 1. Finding one’s way from point A to point B (10) 7. Taking someone’s property with authority (12) 9. Existent without having manifested (6) 11. A type of beer (3) 12. Hotel (3) 13. Word or phrase formed by rearranging letters of a different word or phrase (8) 15. One half of a ballroom dance (3) 16. Disorganised and untidy (7) 17. Still; even (3) 19. What the princess put under her bed (3) 20. Mother (colloq.) (2) 21. Power to make legal decisions (12)

DOWN 1. The practice of communicating with the dead (10) 2. Flavouring derived from orchids (7) 3. Emotion of feeling in the wrong (5) 4. Quick nervous movement (3) 5. Annoyance (8) 6. Object that holds candles (10) 8. Prevents the growth of disease-causing germs (10) 10. Originated from (8) 14. Market crash that began in 2007 (1,1,1) 16. What our sun is (4) 18. Australian emblem animal (3) 19. 21st letter of the Greek alphabet (3)

TRIVIAL TRIVIA Words Cameron Anderson Picture Natasha Parsons 1. Who was the second person on the moon? 2. Who is Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr.? 3. Who recently became the second woman to give birth while being the head of a government? 4. A ‘bask’ is the collective noun

The Superbank. 80 The Beast | September 2018

for a group of which animal? 5. Which war occurred on Australian soil in 1932? 6. Who won the Pulitzer Prize for music in 2018? 7. In which year did South Sudan gain independence from the Republic of the Sudan?

8. Which 2016 film has had the most Oscar nominations without winning best picture? 9. Which women’s rights activists was the first woman to appear on a US coin? 10. What is the current postcode of Bondi Beach?


SCORPIO OCT 24-NOV 22 Being on a first name basis with your Deliveroo driver is nothing to be proud of. It’s time to start making some healthy home-cooked meals.

ARIES MAR 21-APR 20 They say summer bodies are made in winter, which means you’ve left it too late again. Maybe book an overseas ski trip or something.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 23-DEC 21 Resist the pressure to live a lie on social media like your shallow mates. Joy of missing out ( JOMO) beats fear of missing out (FOMO).

TAURUS APR 21-MAY 21 Exercise caution when discussing your fetishes, especially if you’re dating a friend’s sibling. No one wants to know their sister’s a salad tosser.

CAPRICORN DEC 22-JAN 20 You’ve got the most amazing, perfect nipples and everyone wants to touch them and do little circles around them with their tongues.

GEMINI MAY 22-JUN 21 Remember the days when people with kids used to shit you to tears with their selfish behaviour? You’ve become one of those people.

VIRGO AUG 23-SEP 23 Stop worrying about the size of your arse. It’s what comes out of your mouth that matters, not your hefty hindquarters.

AQUARIUS JAN 21-FEB 19 Arguing about economics and politics with your friends will only make them smarter and you dumber. Why waste your energy?

CANCER JUN 22-JUL 22 A surprise encounter with a horse’s chode will leave you longing for something bigger to quench your thirst for old mate.

LIBRA SEP 24-OCT 23 Try getting in touch with your friends when you don’t need a favour for a change, then maybe they’ll stop screening you.

PISCES FEB 20-MAR 20 The first to apologise is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest, and the first to forget is a complete f*cking idiot.

LEO JUL 23-AUG 22 Thoughts of quitting your job will quickly dissipate when the new round of graduates walk through the door and they’re all smoking hot.

STAR SIGNS Words Beardy from Hell

TRIVIAL TRIVIA SOLUTIONS 1. Buzz Aldrin 2. Snoop Dogg (Snoop Lion) 3. Jacinda Ardern 4. Crocodiles 5. The Great Emu War 6. Kendrick Lamar 7. 2011 8. La La Land (14 nominations) 9. Susan B. Anthony 10. 2026

Fine Dining

Indian Restaurant



Open 7 days


available for Party, Function up to 150 people








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Lunch : Sat - Sun 12pm - 3pm Dinner : 7 Nights 5pm - 10pm

B.Y.O. only







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MON–FRI 11AM–3PM 81 Carrington Road, Waverley | Phone: 9389 3093 Follow @charingcrosshotel |

The Beast - September 2018  

The September 2018 edition of The Beast featuring Victor Radley...

The Beast - September 2018  

The September 2018 edition of The Beast featuring Victor Radley...