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BEAST The

November 2018

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WELCOME TO NOVEMBER 2018... THINGS ARE WARMING UP Words Dan and James Hutton

W

elcome to the November 2018 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s Beaches of the East. What the bloody hell happened to spring? It was a cold and wet start to October, and when this edition went to press it felt as though the sun had been absent for the best part of a fortnight. Hopefully things are on the improve and spring is in full swing by the time this edition hits your mailbox. Weather aside, there is plenty to look forward to in the magazine this month. Billy Mackenzie dishes the dirt on the latest Bondi Pavilion plans and how they’ll affect The Bucket List, as well as waxing lyrical about the hydrofoil ban at our local beaches. Siriol Dafydd spills the beans on Randwick Council’s new top dogs, enlightens us about the great work that Bronte Public School is doing to unite students

8 The Beast | November 2018

of the east with those from the Red Centre, and outlines the plans for the Prince of Wales Hospital’s big new Acute Services Building. On the cover this month is television tradie and all-round good bloke Baz Du Bois. If you don’t know his familiar face from around the traps in Bondi, you’ll probably recognise him as one-quarter of the popular Friday night Channel Ten lifestyle show, The Living Room (along with Amanda Keller, Dr Chris Brown and mad Spaniard Miguel Maestre). He sheds some light on his cancer battles, his reproductive struggles, banking memories and why retiring at 45 was the right thing to do. Thanks to all of you who pick up our little magazine and read it cover to cover each month. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoy putting it together for you. Dan and James - Publishers

THE BEAST The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au

Editors james@thebeast.com.au dan@thebeast.com.au

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Circulation 61,000 copies are distributed every month; 55,500 are placed in mailboxes and 5,500 in shops. PEFC Certified The Beast uses paper from sustainably managed forests.

Letters To The Editor Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and suburb.


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Contents

November 2018 Issue 166 08 11 12 14 22 24 26 40 45 46

Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Local Bloke Thumbs and Dogs Local News Calendar Trade Directory Interview

58 59 60 62 63 64 65 66 67 68

Marjorie's Musings Beastpops Bruce's Banter Unreliable Guide Tide Chart Con Gestion Sporting Life Headnoise Sexy Time Enviro News

Marital issues, by Mariela Santillan. Instagram: @marielasantillan_.

69 70 74 76 80 81 82 82

Satire Travel Bug Local Photos Food & Wine Reviews Trivial Trivia Beardy From Hell Trivia Solutions


The Guineas Stakes.

SMALL ANIMAL ENTHUSIASTS DENIED SAME RIGHTS AS PRIVILEGED DOG OWNERS Words Pearl Bullivant Picture George Fordham FAIRNESS FOR FLUFFY Dear Pearl - I am a guinea pig aficionado and own several cavies, which I enter in races and beauty contests. The guinea pig community is very large so I was appalled to find that Randwick Council does not support everyone’s favourite rodent, and that they are prohibited from running unleashed in local parks. I visited Burrows Park with the intention of training my prized guinea pig, Fluffy Henderson, for the chariot division and was unpleasantly surprised to receive a stern warning from a council employee. Now I am forced to train my darlings illegally under spotlight, veiled behind the cover of darkness. This is a terrible case of dog privilege at the expense of small animal owners. Your views please… Mrs Vo Clovelly HAVE HOPE Dear Mrs Vo - Since I am a lawabiding citizen and a cat owner, you must understand that it is not appropriate for me to endorse il12 The Beast | November 2018

legal rodent-based activities of any kind. Also, I find your letter a little weird. Can you imagine the chaos if guinea pigs were permitted to roam free in the Eastern Suburbs? It would open the floodgates to other rodent owners and traffic on the M4 would triple with ferret owners leaving the comfort of their Glenmore Park McMansions to take advantage of the relaxed leash-free laws in the east. Little Fluffy Henderson and her/his friends may be sweet, well behaved balls of fur, but there will always be a ferret or rat owner ready to spoil the fun for everyone else. However, Mrs Vo, I do feel your pain. Why is there no RSPCA Million Claws Walk for felines? No cat-friendly caravan accommodation? No winery tours of the Hunter Valley targeted specifically at cat owners? There is nowhere that a cat is welcome even when it is leashed. It’s a dog world. Cats are much maligned, and for good reason, but when kept under control by their owners they are, like guinea pigs, a congenial pet.

With Sydney’s personal space at a premium, you would think that small animal ownership would be embraced by the masses. But no, not in the selfish Eastern Suburbs where the aim is to take up as much space as possible - on the roads and in car parks with the monstrous European SUVs and on the footpaths with the multi-child mega prams. And, since every backyard has been taken up by the dream house extension (to accommodate the ultimate status symbol: five kiddies), the must-have dog that is better suited to a quarter-acre block has now created a demand for more and more leash-free parks and canine-friendly facilities (which inevitably leads to more dog poo). But have hope, Mrs Vo. Anything as edgy and underground as guinea pig racing will ultimately be embraced by hipsters, and I can see the day when the cruel greyhound racing industry is usurped by bearded, tattooed men toting guinea pigs at Wentworth Park. Pearl xxx


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THE BEAST'S MONTHLY MAILBAG Words The People of the Eastern Suburbs LIGHT RAIL, LIGHT SLEEPER We are all now too aware of the light rail and its impact on us as a community. What most readers maybe aren't aware of is that those of us who live in the close vicinity of the hospital have had most of the light rail works done at night-time. In the evening the workers shift will start at 7pm, but work will not actually commence until around 9pm. This late start is all due to Roads and Maritime Services not giving them access to the roads - as I am being continually reminded by Acciona community liaison staff. Extreme noise works, such as concrete cutting, are meant to cease before midnight, whereas the smoothing out of asphalt, welding and the high pressure water blasting can continue until any such time, say around 3.30am. These relentless, extremely loud works have been ongoing on a nightly basis for over one year. The entire apartment block shakes and we go to bed wearing earplugs, including my children. Someone was ‘kind enough’ to deliver several bags of earplugs to the residents’ post boxes! Over the last couple of years sleep deprivation, dirt, dust and limited access to our property has been the norm for our young family. For instance, the other evening the workers were using a massive angle grinder that required two strong labourers to shift the machine between the tracks, and this work was being done from 2.30am until around 3.30am. Other smaller angle grinders were also used until the early hours of the morning.

14 The Beast | November 2018

What is beyond me is why these works are not done during the day on Saturdays or Sundays when High Street is so quiet you can literally walk the length and not see a single car. Last weekend, being the long weekend, no work was done on High Street and yet it all started back up again on the Monday evening! The work that is being done at night is all being controlled by the Department of Roads and Maritime Services, which sets the agenda for when a road can or can't be closed for works. I have repeatedly asked for works to be done during a Saturday or a Sunday so my family can have - for the first time in over two years - a simple night’s rest. I am constantly reminded that we have lodged a request with the RMS! The effects of sleep deprivation, broken sleep and dirty air are beyond measure. This absurdity of doing such loud work at night and nothing of a weekend daytime needs to cease immediately. Peter Randwick DISINGENUOUS AND WILDLY INACCURATE ASSERTIONS Dear Editor - I would like to correct a false statement made about the State Transit Authority in the article ‘Wheels Stop Turning for Local Bus Services’ that featured in your magazine’s October edition. The assertion that State Transit is advocating for its areas of operation to be privatised is disingenuous and wildly inaccurate. The decision to privatise bus

contracts is not a decision for State Transit. State Transit employs approximately 3,500 people who are committed to delivering a safe and reliable bus service across Sydney. After listening to the community we recently announced network changes in the Eastern Suburbs to enhance the service we are delivering for locals and visitors to our area. The changes include the region's first timetable-less bus, the 333 Bondi Link, which has added extra capacity and is helping customers get around more frequently. We will continue to listen and look at other improvements. State Transit is the NSW Government-owned bus operator that has a proud history of delivering bus services for local communities over the last 85 years and we plan to do so well into the future. Kind regards, Steffen Faurby State Transit Authority CEO TPG WHIZ On August 27, we received in the mail notification from TPG that they intend to install a Phone Base Station on 355 Clovelly Road, Clovelly, which they intend to commence by the end of September. We believe that TPG has intentionally sent this letter out to the residents in an envelope which resembles ‘junk mail’ so that the majority of residents would have thrown it in the rubbish and, thus, would not be aware of what TPG is intending to do. Our greatest concern is the 24hour radiation that will be emitting from the base station, which poses a major hazardous risk to our health, the community and especially the children of Clovelly. Yes, mobile phones emit radiation, but we don’t have them glued beside our brains 24-hours a day! We are going to be exposed to radiation that causes brain tumours, hormonal changes, oxidative stress, fatigue, headaches, nausea - to only name a few - and all because TPG wants to make money. They don’t care about our exposure to the radiation! TPG, in their letter, has indicated there is no mobile base station for this area, but they have failed to


acknowledge and take into account the clearly visible array of mobile antennas on the rooftop of the Coogee Prime Lodge, which is merely 80 metres from their proposed base station. TPG has failed to take into account the EME (electromagnetic energy) radiation levels that are already emitting from the Coogee Prime Lodge, which would increase their EME levels of 3.72% significantly higher for those people whom live within 500 metres of their proposed base station. Are we all going to sit around and in 20-30 years realise that this is another James Hardy asbestos scandal? As a permanent resident of Flood Street, I strongly oppose the TPG proposal and I intend to make the local community aware of the radiation exposure that TPG proposes to subject the residents of Clovelly to. I am requesting that as our local community news distributor that you could put this story out to make the community aware of what is happening in our suburbs. It is outrageous that TPG can make their own assessment (no independent assessment is undertaken) as to what is low impact and where they install their mobile phone base stations within the community, because it’s based on 1997 legislation in which they don’t require council approval. I hope you can assist Clovelly and other suburbs with this urgent matter. Prue Clovelly SAY 'NO' TO TPG MOBILE TOWERS Dear Editor - Say 'No' to TPG mobile towers in our children's backyards! An unwelcome permanent neighbour is due to invade Dundas Street in Coogee. Residents are grappling with the idea of living next to a mini mobile tower, exposing them and their loved ones to constant Electromagnetic Radiation (EMR) as they eat, sleep and try to enjoy the quiet contentment of being home, which is a basic human right. Although the telcos publicise the research stating no link between EMR and human harm, there is ongoing research into

the potentially harmful effects of EMR, because although the current research reports no link, scientific and medical agencies including the World Health Organisation advise that ongoing research is needed, and the actual long-term effects remain unknown. The results will take 15 years or more, but unfortunately it will be too late for our children by then. What is known about EMR is that there is a higher risk of harm with constant exposure, which the pole next door to your house will be directing at you. Children are more at risk due to their developing nervous systems and tissues. The effect on pre-existing chronic diseases in the young is unknown. The residents of Dundas Street include many young children, some with chronic diseases, and many vulnerable elderly people. This nightmare will soon become a reality for many residential streets in the Eastern Suburbs. State legislation allows major telcos such as TPG free rein to install these ‘junkyards on a pole’ without any planning permission. The 28-day public consultation process, which is supposed to precede the installation work, is often kept hazy and poorly publicised by the telco, so they can slyly erect the installation and swiftly move on to the next one before residents know what has happened. What makes this process even more farcical is that the outcome of the public consultation submission is decided by the telco, which is a major conflict of interest. They are hardly going to say ‘no’ to themselves! The public are kept in the dark about how their street was chosen and whether alternative industrial or commercial sites were considered. This is self-regulation at its worst! In the case of Dundas Street, TPG gave no indication of due diligence in their choice of the site, a purely residential street adjoining a children’s playground and nature reserve. A simple desktop search in a city office and the Google pin marks the spot! They provided no visibility of what was done to look for other less residential sites in the area. TPG even flagrantly flouted the state planning code and started work on the installation, attaching

THE BEST BLOKE WE HAVE EVER KNOWN Words Todd Maguire

I

t was sad to hear that Bronte’s most recognisable icon, John ‘Meggs’ Maguire, passed away suddenly on September 25, 2018. Every person in Bronte both past and present knows our dad, because he would go right out of his way to welcome people to his beach and make them feel at home. John Maguire touched so many lives with his sincerity, his dry humour, his dedication, his willingness to help and his ‘get out there and really have a dig’ attitude. Dad was always at the top of his game at everything - the Bronte Surf Club, the NSW Fire Brigade, his exceptional sporting life. Dad had three true loves in his life: his family, his Bronte community and, most of all, our mum, Jan Ball. Mum and Dad were together for over 50 years and they were an unrivalled team. Dad lost his bride five years ago and he was never the same afterwards. But the courage Dad displayed as he soldiered on solo was remarkable and so inspiring for all of us. He never really moved on, but he did his best. John Maguire will be sadly missed as displayed by the support and respect shown at his farewell at Bronte Surf Club. Our Dad and Pa. The best bloke we have ever known. Thank you from the Maguire family.

November 2018 | The Beast 15


cabling and a box to the light pole on Dundas Street on the 6/9/18, a staggering 18 days before the public/council submission deadline of 25/9/18. The code clearly states no work can be undertaken before the deadline. This proves their ethos that protecting the vulnerable is of no significance and ‘it’s going to happen no matter what’. Fostering public trust is at the bottom of their agenda! Home should be our safe place. This is about to change with the cavalier, ‘bull in a china shop’ attitude of global telcos such as TPG, which appear to pay lip service to the public consultation process but in reality already know they will take no action in the public interest - a case of ‘speak to the hand because the face isn’t listening’! It’s up to us to campaign for our vulnerable children and the elderly, who have no voice. This could be your street, next. This could be your house with the installation metres from your child’s bedroom or backyard. Help send a clear message to TPG and other telcos that residents will not be bullied into having the quiet enjoyment of their homes destroyed and live in fear of the potential harmful effects of EMR. If we cannot stop installations in residential streets like Dundas Street and force telcos to work harder at finding less sensitive sites, this could affect your home next. Don't sit still, mobilise (pun intended) yourself and be vocal in your support. As a collective we can send a clear message to the telcos, local council and politicians, forcing a change to the current woeful legislation and processes. Time is of the essence. Help raise awareness of this issue. Financial gain and a voracious appetite for mobile connectivity should not be at the expense of the public health of future generations! Jenny Coogee EASTERN SUBURBS RECYCLING ENTREPRENEURS Is it just me or has anyone else spotted the ‘gentlemen’ raking through the recycle bins for the precious 10-cent items held within? I can't make my mind up as to

16 The Beast | November 2018

whether I should applaud their actions or tell them to piss off ! Harry Coogee HARASSNG ANGIE Dear Angie from Another Planet (Letters, The Beast, September 2018) - I am pleased that others around you put guilt on you for your choice not to vaccinate. Because, unlike the decision you make about what food you buy and consume, the decision not to vaccinate can have dire consequences not only for your health, but also for the health of others you come in contact with. You can liken the harassment of anti-vaxxers to harassing those who drink drive. Both groups increase the risk of illness/injury and death not only to themselves, but also to other community members. As for the points you raise, yes, good personal hygiene and public sanitation are important – not just to reduce the diseases you mention in your article, but many others as well. And indeed, polio and typhoid are not major issues in Australia, in large thanks to vaccines. But travel to less developed countries with fewer sanitation and health resources and it’s a very different story. Finally, death may be an extremely rare side effect of the measles/mumps/rubella vaccine, but individuals who have contracted these disorders may also die, or if pregnant the infections may cause death to their baby. If you choose not to have your son or daughter vaccinated for HPV before they become sexually active, I do hope that their partners are vaccinated and not infected. Otherwise, there is a high chance your children will become infected with HPV, and in turn then pass it on to any subsequent sexual partners. HPV infection is the cause of 70 per cent of cervical cancer, and in addition it is a key contributor to penile, vulvar, vaginal, anal, mouth and throat cancers. In Australia in 2018, 930 women were diagnosed with cervical cancer and 258 women died as a consequence of their cervical cancer. As the lag time between HPV infection and cancer development is typically 20 years, we are yet to see the major benefit of the HPV vaccine given to kids in early

adolescence. The risks associated with the HPV vaccine are minimal. Of 720,000 HPV vaccinations administered in the USA between 2009 and 2017, there were 245 reported adverse events, of which 10 were deemed serious. There were no deaths. The point is, achieving a high rate of immunity in a population protects not only the individuals who receive the vaccines, but also stops them being carriers and infecting those who for valid reasons cannot be immunised. A virus must find an unvaccinated person to infect or it will die out. Don’t be that person! I’ll stop harassing you now, Angie. Just one last thing, though - if you don’t like the public health policy written by experts in the field and with the good of the community in mind, why don’t you just stay on that ‘Other Planet’? Vibeke Bondi Junction ROCK FISHING LAWS A FAILURE I, like a number of other dedicated volunteers, have worked with government agencies to produce videos and multi-language information packs advising on safe fishing. Our rock fishing production, ‘Don’t put your life on the line’, can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=4O-yKhyZJrw. I’m in this production, as are my colleagues. The video provides all you need to know about safe rock fishing. Recently, the government legislated over our advice with a blunt, one-glove-fits-all, ill informed and incomplete piece of legislation, being: “Wear a lifejacket rock fishing or be fined $100.” This makes no mention of wearing correct footwear on the rocks, which is 50 per cent of the safety equipment, and makes no mention of the fact that you cannot dive under waves with a lifejacket on. We simply want this legislation modified to match the advice given in our video, which was produced with government money, and lots of it. We want the above law amended to: “Rock fishers must wear either a lifejacket, a life vest or a wetsuit and appropriate footwear, being rock cleats or rock spikes on sandstone and slippery rocks or lightweight stout-soled boots on granite.” Further, this is being run by the


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Justice Department, which has, with the aid of Randwick City Council, installed a few signs at fishing spots stating the new legislation. It beggars belief that they did not contact Fisheries and get the e-mails of all anglers in NSW and e-mail them this information - a complete lack of government department cooperation. An additional part of the message needs to be to join a fishing club, so that those who are inexperienced can get proper advice face to face. We now have two rock fishers dead with lifejackets on, one at Windang Island and the other at Cape Banks, so it's a failed law. Rock fishing deaths comprised four per cent of drownings as per the Royal Life Saving National Drowning Report 2018. So why all the wasted money on a failed law? Paul Cooper South Coogee MARINE PARK PROPOSAL PREPOSTEROUS I am a 49 year-old Sydney resident who has been a participant of recreational fishing and water sports since early childhood, growing up on Kogarah Bay and residing in Bondi for the last 25 years. I am writing to address my concerns regarding the proposed marine parks and impact this will have on many Australian lives as well as the fabric of Australian culture. To begin with, the plan is ill conceived and flawed on many fronts. The scientific reasoning does not exist. Recreational fishing has negligible effect on marine life. There are many more pressing matters affecting marine conservation in need of attention, namely storm water runoff, sewerage outfalls, shark nets and commercial fishing. The replacement of shark nets with smart drum lines, which directly target the threat to swimmers rather than the indiscriminant taking of marine life that nets cause, would provide a much better outcome than marine lockouts. Preventing recreational fishing in these areas has many other negative consequences that will lead to concentrated fishing as a result of fewer locations to fish from and the endangerment of lives. There are established rock platforms that are easily accessible within

18 The Beast | November 2018

the zones. Shutting anglers out will force anglers to fish unsafe areas. In addition, for most recreational anglers fishing five kilometres offshore in small craft will create many challenging circumstances, which could have dire consequences. Aside from these most obvious concerns, there exists the damage to lifestyle and way of life that is ingrained in the fabric of Australian culture. Fishing is one of Australia’s great pastimes, providing many people with a release and connection to the wilds of our coastline. Connecting with the ‘Great Outdoors’ is our major tourist attraction; our cultural image abroad is based on this perception and is what makes Australia’s cultural image attractive abroad. Loss of these civil liberties and the dilution of Australia’s cultural image is counterproductive. Sydney has already suffered greatly from overdevelopment, increased populations in areas with insufficient infrastructure and the reduction of the general quality of life Australians used to enjoy. Depriving people of one of our favourite pastimes with an unsubstantiated claim is unjust. Anglers and watersports people like myself and others are on and under the water on a daily and weekly basis. We are the ones that need to be consulted on matters of conservation, as we are the ones on the ground experiencing, collecting and possessing the knowledge. The combined knowledge of my fishing club alone goes back generations. In 25 years, I can’t remember ever witnessing a research scientific vessel off the shoreline conducting research. Anglers and water sports people possess a visual reckoning and understanding of our coastline. Angling is a science and most anglers would be able to describe in detail migratory patterns and fish stock availability. This is how we conserve and enjoy the ocean's resources by understanding them. Removing this cultural passage will create a lack of understanding and interest in preserving our coastline. Angling has undergone major reform, led by anglers themselves. Most, if not all, practice catch and release, taking only what is needed for a feed. Compare this to the environmental damage of travel-

ling from Bondi to the Glebe fish markets to purchase a commercially caught snapper. Fishing reform is reflected in every fishing show screened. You will be hard pressed to find a show on fishing that does not press for conservation through catch and release and general discussion. The days of filling your freezer with fish are gone, not because of reduced fish stocks but because anglers now practice conservative fishing methods. If the government is serious about conservation, then address the more pressing issues and do not prevent people from engaging with the marine environment through angling, as you will lose your best supporters of conservation, the support from people whose interest it is to protect it. Heed their knowledge, heed their advice and protect culture, which self-educates people to be conservationists through participation. Jason Christopher Bondi FURIOUS FISHOS DEMAND ACCESS In recent times, South Maroubra headland has in part been given back to the National Parks people. They have begun installing a walkway all around the headland, at a significant cost. They also removed all the fishing access at South Maroubra and North Malabar (ladders, etc.). Sadly, this now limits our access to Angel Rings (more information on these can be seen here - http:// angelrings.com.au/) in these locations and makes access for the fishing public very high risk. While this investment all sounds good, the walkway is on the outer perimeter of the rifle range, which is on the headland. The walkway is closed when the rifle range is operating and it now seems that the shooters will use this on numerous days per week and on the weekends when the walkway would be in peak use as well. So the government has spent bucket loads of money on a walkway that is unusable when shooting is taking place. If they build a safety wall inside the walkway this would fix the problem. The whole site needs a plan of management and the fishing access needs to be restored.


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In closing, we pay a fishing fee each year and feel that fishing infrastructure should be provided as part of that fee. Paul Cooper South Coogee TURNBULL ALL SMOKE AND TAXES It seems very petty that Malcolm has pulled out so close to the next election. Stomping his feet and taking his toys with him. I had high hopes when Malcolm took over the prime ministership, but we got an early indication of what he would be like when he backed down on hard structural budget reform like the GST. Instead he took the path of least resistance by copying Labor’s policy of raising the cost of cigarettes to extraordinary amounts in order to fill holes in the budget. Pretty much anyone who is left smoking is either wealthy or has an addiction and/or mental health issues - the vulnerable in our society punitively bled dry with excessive excise rates. It’s Pablo Escobar economics profiting off a deadly addictive drug. Smokers cost the community $320 million each year in bushfire and health costs, but the excise they pay raises $8 billion. It’s ethically questionable to raise such a large amount off tobacco, but for Malcolm Turnbull it was just another example of putting his own popularity before the people of this country. Anthony Bosch Bondi

TWO THUMBS DOWN Hey Beasties - As always, love your mag! Couple of things I am wondering if you could ponder about... 1) Sydney International Airport - thumbs down if you ask me... the security is so not user friendly. Apparently the security has been outsourced to an overseas company (so I heard from one of the security guys there), they do not have water refill stations like a number of airports do, but you can buy, buy, buy once you get through security. 2) Thumbs down to the Bondi Junction Markets on Wed/Thurs/ Fri… they used to be so vibrant and growing but it feels the opposite lately. I have heard rumour that they lost their coordinator and are managing themselves - all I know is that the quantity and therefore quality of the market days has gone downhill over the last six months. Not sure how you can best use this, or even if you want to, but thought I would share. Keep up the good work. Maurya Waverley NOISY MOTORBIKES Dear Beast Team - Thanks for putting out this awesome mag. I look forward to reading it and Beardy's horoscopes give me a laugh out loud every time. I wanted to add my support to the 'Noisy Nincompoops' letter from the last issue (Letters, The Beast, October 2018).

As a resident who lives close to Old South Head Road, I am continually frustrated by the amount of noisy motorbikes that are around. You can hear some of these things from way down the road and keep hearing them when they are miles away. It's not just the idiots that remove the silencing mechanism either; it's also the trend towards vintage motorbikes, which seem to be deliberately loud. As Bondi and other suburbs in Sydney become increasingly developed, more poor suckers like me are going to have to live near busy roads. I think we can all agree that buses are justified for the public good, but individual posers hooning around are just selfish - why should thousands of others have to suffer? I wrote to Gabrielle Upton some time ago on this issue and her response was a classic pass the buck, vaguely detailing how the EPA, council rangers and the police are responsible for fining noisy vehicles. While this may be the case, I have never heard of or seen a noisy bike (or car) get pulled up, nor have I seen any evidence of the aforementioned authorities actively monitoring the issue. Isn't it time we showed these hoons who like to cruise Bondi showing off their muscle bikes and cars that this isn't cool? I'd really like a response from the council on this printed in the mag for all to see. Thanks and keep up the good work. Adrian Bondi

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Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Paying for parking every time you stop moving. It infuriates me. Do you have a favourite sporting team? I'm not a big sports guy. I'm more interested in business and creative projects. What music are you into at the moment? I listen to everything house, hip-hop, soul, jazz, reggae. Every morning I wake I'll throw on what I'm feeling that day. For me, it's important to listen to different genres and diversify my taste. Who is your favourite person? It'd have to be my fiancée, Lauren. She inspires the hell out of me and really looks after me in every aspect of my life. What do you get up to on the weekends? Most of the time I'm at one of the weekly parties we run (el Rosa Friday at Hotel Ravesis, YOURS at the Beach Road on Saturday or Seadeck Sunday). If you haven't attended one, pop in and say g'day for a beer on me.

Leaving his legacy.

LOCAL BLOKE... JACK WARWICK FROM BONDI Interview and Picture James Hutton

B

ondi’s Jack Warwick is the founder of Only Everything, an agency that is fast becoming Australia’s leading youth entertainment brand. He shares his local favourites with The Beast... How long have you lived here? Six years now. I was born in Sydney, grew up in Cowra and then did nine years in Brisbane before making my way to beautiful Bondi. Why do you live here? Bondi is so unique and it genuinely ticks all the boxes for me - surf, sun, boutique shops, good food and wine. The fact we're only 15 minutes from the CBD is also pretty handy. What's your favourite beach? Bondi Beach, out at flat rock. You 22 The Beast | November 2018

just can't beat jumping in and out and lazing around on a beautiful summer’s day. What's your favourite eatery? Drake. The food, the service and the vibe are perfect for a nice meal with good friends and family. Shout out to Ian and Joshy! Where do you like to have a drink? Hotel Ravesis on a Friday night. A cold beer on the balcony listening to some tunes while the sun sets is pretty perfect. Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? It would have to be the fact I'm never more than 15 minutes from my favourite locations beaches, city, Centennial Park, office, etc.

What do you do for work? Two years ago I started an agency called Only Everything. We're part marketing/content production, part events/activations and we're also slowly growing our own media network. We're working towards becoming Australia’s leading youth entertainment brand. You can follow @onlyeverything.agency on Instagram to see what we're about. What's your favourite thing about work? I absolutely love what I do. Over time I've managed to design and build a business that touches on all my personal interests - marketing, events, entertainment, content. Do you have a favourite quote? “A rolling stone gathers no moss.” Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Show humility, help without expecting anything in return and constantly work towards leaving a legacy others will remember you for.


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JUBILEE Age 12 months Sex Female Breed Kelpie X Staffy Weight 16.6kg Jubilee is an active, friendly girl who can handle bigger (but slightly calmer) playful males. She is in great shape and really enjoys a jog or a run. She would suit part-time workers with a house and a garden to run around in. She has a short coat that is easy to manage. Jubilee comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Also included for the love and wellbeing of Jubilee is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For more details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email monika@doggierescue.com. Standing up for the people of New South Wales.

THUMBS UP LOUISE HERRON A strong leader who overcame adversity to emerge the victor in a brutal battle against big money and self-interested pigs. THE ROOSTERS Watching their display of dominance in the NRL Grand Final was inspirational. Cooper Cronk’s performance with a 15cm fracture through his scapula will go down in history. KINGSFORD NOODLE MARKETS The Beast strongly recommends getting down to Meeks Street, Kingsford on Saturday, November 17 from midday to 9pm and eating yourself into a coma.

THUMBS DOWN CORN ROWS A horrible hairstyle that has no place in Australian society and should be outlawed immediately, despite being an effective way of easily identifying criminals. SYDNEY AIRPORT If Sydney wants to be taken seriously as a global city we’ll need to sort out this disaster. Waiting nearly two hours for your luggage after a ten-hour flight is unacceptable. THE EVEREST The shittest and most hated horse race in the world, with garish branding and a terrible name. You need more than just a shitload of money and influence to create tradition. BEDTIME BLADDER BALANCING ACT Staying hydrated is obviously important, but going to bed with a full bladder is a bloody nightmare for one’s sleep patterns. 24 The Beast | November 2018

BARNEY Age 12 years Sex Male Breed Maltese X Weight 4.7kg Barney is a mature boy who was dumped outside a pound. He is very sweet and attentive and loves giving kisses. He is social with other dogs. He has no teeth but still loves his cooked chicken and rice. Barney would suit apartment living with a full-time worker. Barney comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Also included for the love and wellbeing of Barney is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For more details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email monika@doggierescue.com.

SKYE Age 3 years Sex Female Breed Kelpie X Foxy Weight 8.6kg

Skye came from the pound terrified but it didn’t take her long to relax and make friends. She is a lively girl who loves to play with toys, sticks and balls. She is social with other dogs and affectionate and sweet with people. She would suit a family working part-time with a house and garden. Skye comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Also included for the love and wellbeing of Skye is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For more details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email monika@doggierescue.com.


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The highest risk surf craft that you could have.

COUNCIL FOILS TREND-SETTING SURFERS’ PLANS Words Billy Mackenzie Picture Chopper Read

I

f you’ve been watching the surf along the Eastern Beaches lately, you may have noticed some people riding strange boards that appear to somehow fly above the surface of the water. For those not associated with the surfing subculture, these magic boards are called hydrofoils, and the practice of surfing them is called hydrofoiling, or just ‘foiling’. If you haven’t seen these contraptions on our beaches yet, chances are you never will, as Waverley Council recently ruled against their safety. Instead of having regular surfboard fins, these boards have one giant fin with ‘wings’ affixed, called a hydrofoil. Similar to a sailing boat (remember Ben Lexcen’s winged keel?), when the board accelerates the hydrofoil lifts the board clear of the water, into what is known as the ‘plane’. 26 The Beast | November 2018

The idea of these foils is to mitigate chop on the water surface and allow the rider to pick up swells they would never be able to catch on a regular board. The world was first introduced to this contraption nearly 15 years ago through renowned waterman Laird Hamilton. More recently, another all-round waterman, Kai Lenny, has been leading the hydrofoil resurgence. The Hawaiian has been showcasing what the hydrofoil is capable of under the right feet, and his Instagram is brimming with the extraordinary footage. It is perhaps this exhilarating footage, coupled with greater consumer availability, that has caused these boards to appear in our local line-ups. But not everyone is happy to see them. While some have boldly declared foiling to be the future of

water sports, others have failed to understand the excitement. There are also many who consider the boards a hazard. Waverley Council has decided it agrees with the latter of these opinions. Mayor John Wakefield told The Beast that Council now classifies foil-boards as a dangerous craft. As a result, hydrofoils will now be treated in a similar manner to kiteboards, which are not permitted in crowded areas in the municipality. “Foil surfboards have only begun to appear at our beaches this winter, and are quite rare,” Cr Wakefield told The Beast. “Due to their high speed compared to a surfboard, and the metal-like keel that raises it out of the water, and with the interests of beachgoer’s safety paramount, lifeguards have determined it was too dangerous to allow these boards in crowded beach areas.” Regular surfboards have also been responsible for many horrible injuries on our local beaches over the years. What is it, then, that makes foil-boards even more dangerous? Local surfer and professional risk advisor Paul Chivers told The Beast it’s all about the size of the fin, which is made from a blend of steel, aluminium and carbon fibre. “A surfboard has a small fin, and these have an extraordinarily large fin,” he said. “The surface area of the fin and the potential for cutting is obviously increased dramatically over a normal surfing fin.” Mr Chivers said the boards themselves are not inherently dangerous, rather the risk of harm depends on the context of how they are used. He told The Beast that when the boards are in open water, with no people around, they wouldn’t be considered dangerous. However, put a hydrofoil in a crowded area and it suddenly becomes “the highest risk surf craft that you could have”. “It’s just not a good environment for something that could occupy a less densely populated water area,” Mr Chivers said.


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November 2018 | The Beast 27


Randwick’s new mayor and deputy mayor, Kathy Neilson and Danny Said.

OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW AT RANDWICK COUNCIL Words Siriol Dafydd Instagram @sirioldafyddwriter Picture Josh Hay

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t’s all change at Randwick Council, folks. After 12 months as top dog, Cr Lindsay Shurey announced at the end of September that she was stepping down from her role as mayor. This was closely followed by another announcement that a new general manager had been appointed to replace the outgoing GM, Ray Brownlee PSM, who is taking up a new role as CEO at Northern Beaches Council. Lindsay Shurey was the second female mayor in Council’s 159year history and half of the first ever all-female leadership team (with Deputy Mayor Alexandra Luxford in 2017). “Serving as Mayor of Randwick has been an incredible honour and privilege,” Cr Shurey said in a statement to the press. “However, the time has come for me to focus on other things.” Rumour has it that those ‘other 28 The Beast | November 2018

things’ include contesting the state seat of Coogee as a candidate for the Greens, so watch this space. Whether you agree with their politics or not, there’s no denying that being mayor is a tough job. Between wrangling councillors, dealing with constant complaints from the public and putting up with the whinging press, it can be pretty lonely at the top. As we wave goodbye to old management and gear up to judge and incessantly pester the new lot, let’s focus on the positives and remember their achievements, like addressing domestic violence, banning single use plastics, supporting marriage equality, upgrading Coogee Bay Road and opening the Malabar Headland Western Walking Track. So what’s next for Randwick Council? Who’s in charge and what can we expect from them over the next few months?

Labor councillors Kathy Neilson and Danny Said have been upgraded to mayor and deputy mayor, respectively. In a statement, Mayor Neilson said, “I look forward to continuing to deliver great services to the community and uphold the legacy of sustainability and care for the environment that has become a defining attribute of Council in recent times.” Meanwhile, Therese Manns will be taking over as general manager in November. Having previously held the GM position at Broken Hill City Council and Boorowa Council, and most recently as director of corporate services for Sutherland Shire Council, she is a well regarded leader in local government with a strong background in financial and asset planning. Ms Manns said she was privileged to join the Randwick team. “Randwick has and continues to be a leader and influencer in the local government sector,” she said. “The sense of community created, underpinned by strong values, is a credit to both community and organisational leadership over many years.” As for what we can expect from our new local leaders, it is pretty much business as usual. Rangers will finally have the power to impound abandoned boat trailers; Council has agreed to arrange traffic management plans to enable resident Christmas street parties in December 2018; Council is supporting a push to have the Aboriginal flag flown permanently on the Sydney Harbour Bridge; and the Smart City Strategy, which outlines how Council will navigate the future and invest in smart city initiatives and technology, is now on public exhibition and open to feedback. So it’s out with the old and in with the new at Randwick Council, but life, and politics, must go on. “Randwick has a bright future under this new team and I feel confident that Council will continue to be a strong leader in local government and will serve the community well,” Mayor Neilson said.


Friday 23 November 2018 | 7.15am Meet at High Cross Park, Randwick The walk starts at High Cross Park and ends at Grant Reserve Coogee Beach, with informal speeches and an oath-swearing ceremony against violence, followed by a BBQ breakfast. Parking is available at the Dolphin Street car park in Coogee. A shuttle bus service will operate from the car park to High Cross Park from 6.45am.


Ye olde Bucket List in front of Bondi Pavilion back in 1930.

BUCKET LIST’S BUBBLE LIKELY TO BURST WITH PAVILION RESTORATION Words Billy Mackenzie Picture James Scullin

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or years the Bondi Pavilion has been in desperate need of significant repairs and upgrades. Now, thanks to Waverley Council’s extensive Bondi Pavilion Restoration and Conservation Project, we are finally going to see this work commence. But it has come at a cost. While there is much to like about designs for the estimated $25 million makeover, the Pavilion’s restoration will be to the detriment of one Bondi’s favourite watering holes, The Bucket List. The suggested floor plan reduces the tenancy space occupied by The Bucket List by at least two-thirds. Furthermore, Council intends to remove the entire ‘glass bubble’ section of the venue, known as the Fish Bowl Bar. In losing the Fish Bowl and its panoramic view of the beach, The Bucket List will effectively be losing its main enticement. The Bucket List claims the proposed reduction will make it “near impossible” to operate and cater to its patrons. According to the plans available on Council’s website, nothing will be replacing the Fish Bowl. Rather, the section will be removed on advice from the NSW Heritage Office, which has called it “intrusive”. A spokesperson for Waverley Council told The Beast that the concept design for the Pavilion is guided 30 The Beast | November 2018

by the Bondi Pavilion Conservation Management Plan. They explained the key features of this concept include restoring and conserving the iconic beachfront façade and removing intrusive heritage elements, including the ‘glass bubble’. The spokesperson told The Beast that Council was advised by the NSW Heritage Office that including the bubble in the plan would mean the design would not be supported when Council submitted its development application. Council requires the approval of the NSW Heritage Office to undertake the restoration. Since opening in 2011, The Bucket List has been a popular hang for locals and tourists alike. Owner Andy Ruwald is desperate to see the venue remain open, but says they need more space to keep the business operating. “I have watched The Bucket List bring the Pavilion back to life over the last seven years and would do anything to ensure its continued survival and success,” Mr Ruwald told The Beast. “Unfortunately, though, this isn’t possible with the current plans.” Mr Ruwald said The Bucket List had received fantastic support since the proposed designs were released. “The Bucket List is loved by the community. The Fish Bowl has been a wonderful part of The

Bucket List for years and a current iconic landmark itself. We don’t want to lose it and like many others, think it would be great if there was a way to keep it.” “I really hope that common sense prevails and that we can work with Council to get this right. It’s more about sufficient tenancy space, and I know we have a lot of people behind us on that.” Despite the significant reduction in available space, Council has said it supports the continuation of viable commercial tenancies at the Pavilion. Commercial tenancies will be put to tender at the completion of the project, and existing tenants will be invited to reapply for a tenancy. Waverley Mayor John Wakefield told The Beast that The Bucket List’s lease is about to expire and that if the refurbishment were not being prepared, it would have to go out for competitive tender anyway. “There was no guarantee that the current operators, as good as they are, would have won this tender,” Cr Wakefield said. “As it stands, the refurbishment project gives The Bucket List more time to prepare for the changes to come.” Mr Ruwald told The Beast that although this was true, considering they had created something that is so good for Bondi, he was hopeful The Bucket List would be first in line for the tender. Tender ownership aside, Cr Wakefield said he was working to ensure the new designs configure retail space at the front of the Pavilion sufficiently sized to enable a large footprint/restaurant tenancy. “I’ve argued since the beginning of the process that we need two large anchor tenancies to ensure the viability of the commercial offerings in the Pavilion,” he said. Mr Ruwald said that he was grateful for the mayor’s support on this matter. Public consultation on the designs closed on October 5. A spokesperson for Council told The Beast that results of the community feedback would be collected and presented in a report to Council in the weeks following this date.


BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Lisa Anderson Picture Melody Mahoney Instagram @melodyspics RANDWICK BOYS' HIGH REUNIONS During the month, The Beast was contacted by members of both the Randwick Boys' High School Class of 1958 and Class of 1968 regarding their 60-year and 50-year reunions. The 60-year reunion will be held on Friday, November 16 at Eastern Suburbs Leagues Club. They’re hoping to match the turnout of nearly 50 former students who attended a similar reunion a decade ago. To get involved, call Robert Finikiotis on 9389 8844 or email robert@finikiotis.com. The Class of 1968 is having its 50-year reunion on Wednesday, November 28. If you are a student from that year or know of someone who is, please call Warwick Wardell on 0400 132 455 or email him at warwickrwaddell@live.com.au. SOLOTEL FAREWELL THE CLOEY Solotel, Australia’s most diverse hospitality group, recently announced that it will no longer operate the Clovelly Hotel. A representative of the owners of the Clovelly Hotel, John Preston, said, “We understand the importance of the Cloey to the local community. We are looking forward to our first class team taking over the hotel and the best times are ahead.” Bruce Solomon, Director of the Solotel Group, said, “Solotel

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have made a strategic decision to rebalance our portfolio for future growth. This means we are unfortunately saying goodbye to the Cloey locals, who were a pleasure to serve over the past two years.” The business formally changed hands on Monday, October 8. DLVRN FOOD TO YOUR PICNIC RUG 'Delivering' is the world's first pin-point delivery system. Their enhanced GPS location technology means that delivery is totally up to them. Place your order, put your phone away and they'll do the rest. This spring, DLVRN technology has teamed up with Bronte’s Cafe Salina to offer you brunch in the park - all your Salina's favourites delivered to your picnic rug. Over summer they’ll be adding the beach to their service area. Feel like fish and chips? They’ll deliver it to your towel. DLVRN is now live in Bronte Park! Visit www.dlvrn.com. SOLAR POWER AND BATTERIES FOR YOUR HOME With energy bills on the rise, there’s never been a better time to install solar power on your home to get immediate savings on your bills. Get along to this free information session to find out whether solar and batteries are right for your house. It’s on Wednesday,

November 7 from 6.30-8pm at Waverley Public School, Bronte Road, Waverley. To register your spot, visit https://solarandbatteriesforhomes.eventbrite.com.au or call Nicola at Waverley Council on 9083 8023. Can't make the session? Call 1300 339 915 for advice or visit ourenergyfuture.org.au. MOONLIGHT CINEMA IN THE 'BRA On Friday, November 2, the inaugural Maroubra Moonlight Cinema will be hosted at dusk on Maroubra Bay Public School’s large grass oval. The evening is expected to attract hundreds of moviegoers for what is Maroubra Bay Public School P&C’s biggest fundraising event of the year. The night will be open to families of the school and the local community. A twilight disco will kick off the festivities at 5.30pm, followed by a family-friendly PG-rated movie screening at 7.30pm. A delicious ‘food alley’ will feature food trucks and a pizza stand, but no alcohol will be available at the event. All money raised on the night will go towards outdoor seating, shade and playground area upgrades for the school’s students. Tickets are $10 for children (kids under 3 are free) and $15 for adults. To book, please visit www.maroubramoonlightcinema.com.au.


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November 2018 | The Beast 33


Possibly the coolest school uniforms in Australia.

BRONTE PUBLIC RAISES FUNDS TO RETURN FAVOUR Words Siriol Dafydd Instagram @sirioldafyddwriter Picture Yipirinya

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tudents, parents and teachers at Bronte Public School are raising $25,000 for students from Yipirinya School in Alice Springs to visit Sydney on a cultural exchange later this month. The partnership began with 16 year six students from Bronte visiting Alice Springs back in June this year. Accompanied by parents and teachers, they stayed on the school grounds, ate breakfast with the students every morning and participated in various school classes. They also visited tourist attractions in the area like the Royal Flying Doctor Service and the School of the Air. The parents also got stuck in whilst the kids were in class, helping to set up a kitchen for future cooking classes and building equipment for the playground. The initial trip was fully funded by the Bronte students themselves, but in order to afford the Yipirinya School students the same experience, they need to raise some money. I don’t know if you’ve ever

34 The Beast | November 2018

tried flying from Sydney to Alice Springs, but it ain’t cheap! The $25,000 raised by Bronte Public School will cover flights, accommodation and activities for 12 students and four teachers to visit Sydney for five full days. During their visit, the Yipirinya students will be staying at the National Centre of Indigenous Excellence in Redfern. Activities will include exploring Bronte Gully and the coastal walk, visiting Luna Park, a surf lesson, a ferry trip to Taronga Zoo and fish and chips at Bondi. A particular highlight will be a training session with the Sydney Swans, which was arranged after the organisers learned how much the Yipirinya students love AFL earlier this year. Will Foster, a parent who participated in the first trip to Alice Springs, told The Beast how much the Bronte contingent had gained from their trip to the ‘Red Centre’. “I feel like the trip has expanded the horizons of the students, par-

ents and teachers who attended, and very much hope that the same benefits come to the Yipirinya kids when they travel to Sydney in November,” he said. “I hope my daughter has learned that being an Australian is about welcoming diversity and learning about other cultures, and all helping each other to live together in different ways.” Mr Foster’s daughter, Sophie, echoed her father’s sentiments. “I loved helping out around the school and hanging out with the students,” she said. “I hope that when they come here, we can show them the beach, the city, all the things they wouldn’t have seen before. I really hope they have as good a time here as we had in Alice Springs.” Katrina Black, a teacher at Bronte Public School who coordinates the program, told us that the school has developed a strong relationship with a sister-school in Thailand over the last few years, but she felt that it was extremely important for them to also establish a mutually beneficial connection with an Aboriginal school so that students could experience, appreciate and respect Aboriginal culture. “A highlight (of our trip) for me was at our regular evening reflections where our students really started to verbalise their respect for Aboriginal culture, community and connection to the land, to understand their country from a different point of view,” she said. Parents, teachers and students alike have been supportive and enthusiastic about fundraising for the Yipirinya students’ visit. As The Beast went to press, the project’s GoFundMe site had already raised just shy of $17,000. But with the students scheduled to arrive on November 14 and $8,000 left to raise, they could still use a little help from the community. So if you’ve got a few dollars to spare or think you can sacrifice the cost of your avo toast and morning coffee for a good cause, visit https://au.gofundme.com/ brontetoyipirinya and donate now.


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A group effort.

NEW PRINCE OF WALES HOSPITAL BUILDING A GAME CHANGER Words Siriol Dafydd Instagram @sirioldafyddwriter Picture Prince Charles

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he NSW Government is investing $720 million in a new Acute Services Building for the Prince of Wales Hospital in Randwick. Planning has been underway since 2015 and construction is intended to commence in late 2018, although there is no official date set at this stage. But unlike much of Sydney’s ever-evolving skyline, this is not construction for construction’s sake. Since the concept design was released last year, Prince of Wales Hospital has sought the input of clinicians, health planners, architects, designers, patients and community members to ensure optimum function and productivity in the new building. Hospital staff members were heavily involved in the design of their respective departments and community feedback sessions were held in August. “It’s been well received by the community,” Prince of Wales Hospital General Manager Tobi Wilson told The Beast. “The clinical services plan with this building is particularly progressive.” One of the key priorities of the new design is to improve the flow of services not only between departments, but across the entire campus, including the university next door. “It’s still one of the biggest chal-

36 The Beast | November 2018

lenges, how we share information and coordinate delivery of care,” Mr Wilson said. “We’ve been really mindful of how we do that in the new building”. Another key focus across the entire campus is the introduction of new and existing technology. One of the major ways this is being implemented is with virtual care services. “The centrepiece of what we’re doing is trying to support people back out in the community,” Mr Wilson said. “We recognise the way technology is changing. There’s a lot of monitoring on apps on people’s phones and we’re building the new hospital to respond to that.” Supporting patients with remote monitoring allows staff to be proactive around their care. It alleviates the emergency department and other units as patients spend less time in hospital and only come in when necessary. Patients can conduct much of their recovery and rehab in the comfort of their homes and this reduces the chances of in-hospital infection and the spreading of diseases. And let’s face it, nobody wants to share the television remote with the stranger in the next bed, especially when you’re sick.

“The more we can keep people out of hospital the better it is for everybody’s care,” Mr Wilson said. The Prince of Wales Hospital Foundation has been instrumental in supporting the hospital’s new and improved services. By funding innovative technological solutions like Deloitte Assist and Amazon Alexa call systems on site, they hope to streamline patient care with features like a voice activated call system that goes directly to the relevant nurse’s phone - so no more long waits for that extra pot of strawberry jelly, you’ll now have a direct line! Financed by the Foundation’s fundraising, this is the first time such systems have been utilised in any hospital worldwide. Currently used on a trial basis, the data so far suggests that patients will be seen much quicker thanks to this innovative technology. Leanne Zalapa, founding CEO of the Prince of Wales Hospital Foundation, has been heavily involved in the design process. She strongly believes that her firsthand knowledge of the problems nurses face in their day-to-day operations has enabled her to make better choices when it comes to allocating the Foundation’s funds. “It was important for me to have an understanding of how a hospital works,” Mrs Zalapa said. “I started training as a nurse when I was seventeen. My life has all been about health.” Mr Wilson agreed that handson experience is essential. “I was a physio for nine years before moving into management,” he said. “It’s important to have an understanding of what happens on the front line.” While none of us hope to get sick, if you do at least you can be safe in the knowledge that you’ll get good care from people who know what they’re doing at the Prince of Wales Hospital in Randwick. For more information about the foundation or to get involved in fundraising for the future developments of the Randwick Hospitals’ Campus, visit www.powhf.org.au.


The latest from your community

What's On

Randwick News I feel incredibly honoured to have been elected Mayor of Randwick City last Wednesday evening, 26 September, and to have Councillor Danny Said serve as Deputy Mayor. I’ve lived in the area for more than 40 years and have had the pleasure of serving as a Councillor since 2012. I look forward to continuing to deliver great services to the community and uphold the legacy of sustainability and care for the environment. I intend for my Mayoralty to be defined by an open door policy that will allow me to listen and respond to all concerns of residents and ratepayers, and to defend the community to ensure it is not over-run by high rise developments. I’d like to see planning powers put back in the hands of Council, so the community is guaranteed a say in how our area grows and develops.

21 OCTOBER SCREENING OF BLUE THE ECO-DOCUMENTARY followed by Q&A with Tim Silverwood from Take 3 For the Sea 6pm, Ritz Cinema

4 NOVEMBER DES RENFORD GALA FAMILY DAY

7am, Des Renford Leisure Centre, Corner Robey St and Jersey Rd, Maroubra

7 NOVEMBER THE AUTHOR TALKS: AN EVENING WITH RICHARD GLOVER

7.30pm, Margaret Martin Library, Randwick

17 NOVEMBER KINGSFORD NOODLE MARKET Midday to 9pm, Meeks St, Kingsford

I’ll work had to ensure Council continues to deliver high quality services, to protect our local heritage and deliver sound financial management that delivers fair, efficient and practical services to residents. Randwick has a bright future ahead and I’m so pleased to be part of it. Councillor Kathy Neilson Mayor of Randwick

23 NOVEMBER WHITE RIBBON WALK

7.15am, Walk from High Cross Park, Randwick to Grant Reserve, Coogee

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au


Harries looking as handsome as ever.

FLOTATION DEVICE A PERSONAL LIFESAVER Words Duncan Horscroft Picture Adam Byrne

I

t took a near-death experience for Scottish-born Thomas Johnstone to come up with a personal flotation device that has the potential to save thousands of lives. Called the Neptune, the ‘personal aquatic lifeguard’ fits around the arm of the user in a compact pouch and when released by a cord, a small carbon dioxide canister inflates a PVC ring, which fits comfortably around the user’s neck. The idea came to Mr Johnstone after he tore a hamstring while 38 The Beast | November 2018

snorkelling in Fiji and nearly drowned. “I was in severe pain and started hyperventilating and taking in water, and realised I was in a lot of trouble,” he said. “A thought ran through my mind that if only I had something to hold onto I would be okay. Fortunately a person was close by on a surfboard and handed me a small life vest. “I then realised my experience was only one of thousands that happen every day around the world.”

As well as the Neptune, which is in a pouch, another device called the Titan features an uninflated ring that can be worn around the neck, and both were put through their paces in various surf conditions at Bronte Beach by local lifeguard Anthony Carroll, who gave them his seal of approval. He showed that more than one of the uninflated rings can be worn in a rescue situation and inflated as soon as a victim is reached. “Definitely a major lifesaving device that could be used in any aquatic situation,” Mr Carroll said. Mr Johnstone said the main problem when he first started to develop the idea was making the device small enough to wear and stay on a person’s neck once inflated. “I wanted to make it strap and buckle free and effective enough to keep any head above water, and realised the static pressure inside the bladder would lock the bladder into place around the neck before released,” he said. “I figured the best way to carry the Neptune was to fix it to the arm in a pouch and came up with a design made of neoprene which was comfortable and flexible. “The bladders are made from very strong, durable PVC and inflated from a 16-gram carbon dioxide canister, and from activation to fitting the bladder around the neck will take about five seconds.” The Titan is suitable for rock and boat fishing and would be a good device to have on board in any aquatic situation, while the Neptune can be worn by anyone using the waterways including stand-up paddle boarders, kayakers and canoeists. Even surfers could wear the device in tricky conditions. Both devices can be inflated by either the canister or orally, and the Titan also has a whistle and a beacon, similar to lifejackets used on planes. Further information about these awesome innovations can be found at www.aquatron.com.au.


Waverley Cemetery

Waverley Garden Awards will be presented at Bronte House

What’s on in Waverley

9am–10.30am


November 2018 MONDAY

TUESDAY

5 12 19 26

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

1 6 7 8 14 15 20 21 22 27 28 ▼

BONDI’S NEWEST BAR Bored of your regular haunt? Be sure to check out Bondi’s freshest establishment, Bonnie’s Wine & Food, open from 6pm until late every Wednesday to Sunday (within Bondi Beach Public Bar). Please call 8090 6972 to make a booking or visit www.bonniesbondi.com.

THE RACE THAT STOPS A NATION The only day of the year when every man, woman and child becomes a horse racing expert. If you’re looking for somewhere cool to spend the arvo, The Sheaf in Double Bay is offering a couple of awesome lunch and canapé packages, so call 9327 5877 to book.

SOLAR POWER AND BATTERIES Get along to this free info session to find out whether solar and batteries are right for your house. It’s on this evening from 6.30-8pm at Waverley Public School, Bronte Road, Waverley. Visit solarandbatteriesforhomes.eventbrite.com.au or call Nicola on 9083 8023.

FEEL GOOD CHOIR Learn how to sing three-part harmonies to a bunch of songs you already know and love with a group of friends and a drink in hand at the Coogee Diggers from 7-9pm tonight. It’s a great night out and it will only set you back $10 at the door.

JOIN WAVERLEY BUSHCARE Join like-minded locals and help make a difference to one of Waverley’s special green spaces. You’ll learn about native plants and wildlife and enjoy the benefits of time spent in nature. No experience is necessary. For more information, visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au.

SAM SMITH AT QUDOS BANK ARENA English superstar singer-songwriter Sam Smith will be performing three huge shows at Qudos Bank Arena, with performances taking place this evening and on November 16 and 17. For more information and to book, please visit www.frontiertouring.com.

THE RUBENS AT THE ENMORE Aussie five-piece alternative rock band The Rubens will be performing tomorrow night (November 16) at the Enmore Theatre with special guest Little May. These blokes know how to put on a show! For more info and to book, please visit www.frontiertouring.com.

MALONEYS HOME DELIVERY Too lazy to do your grocery shopping? Maloneys offers a complete home delivery service, so there’s no excuse for living on Domino’s and Deliveroo. Get your order in by 7pm and it’ll be delivered fresh to your door the next day. Please visit www.maloneysgrocer.com.au.

AFRICA INDUSTRIALISATION DAY The objective of this not very relevant day is to raise awareness of the importance of African industrial development in implementing a successful Continental Free Trade Area and further growing Africa’s economy and supporting the eradication of poverty.

WORLD TELEVISION DAY You can watch as much TV as you like today because it’s World Television Day, which recognises the increasing impact television has on decision-making by alerting world attention to conflicts and threats to peace and security. If you’re bored, visit www.worldtelevisionday.tv.

COOGEE DIGGERS DEALS Get into the Coogee Diggers Club for $12 dinners from 5pm every Monday to Thursday and $10 lunches every weekday from 122.30pm. There’s also live acoustic music in the main lounge every Friday night. For more info, please visit www.coogeediggers.com.au.

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING Get stuck into your Christmas shopping early this year at Royal Randwick shopping centre. Throughout November and December there will be plenty of family fun, giveaways and flavours of fresh food. For more information, please visit www.royalrandwick.com.au.

FREE CHIPS AND A DRINK Little L Chicken and Burgers are throwing in a free regular chips and a drink with every burger purchased at their Coogee store this month. For more information about the most delicious chicken and burger shop on the planet, please visit www.little-l.com.au.

WOOLLAHRA VIEW CLUB MEETING Looking for a way to give back to the community? This leading women’s volunteering organisation meets at 10am on the 4th Wednesday of every month at Gaden Cafe & Community Centre. To get involved, please give Jan a call on either 9357 3448 or 0422 922 095.

WORLD TSUNAMI AWARENESS DAY In 2015, the General Assembly of the United Nations nominated November 5 as World Tsunami Awareness Day. It was started to spread awareness and aims to minimise the number of people affected by disasters worldwide. Visit www.unisdr.org/tsunamiday.

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BHAD BHABIE . CHANNEL TRES . CHARLI XCX . DAVID BYRNE . DIONNE WARWICK . dvsn . FRIDAY JAMS LIVE . JOHN FARNHAM

The Ministry of Sound Orchestra plays the classics

THE STRINGS OF LIFE TOUR

With special guest vocalists

SAM SPARRO, CRYSTAL WATERS & ALISON LIMERICK FRI 14 DEC • ICC SYDNEY THEATRE

WITH SPECIAL GUEST

LITTLE MAY

Friday 16 november ENMORE theatre

FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO FRONTIERTOURING.COM

JOHN BUTLER TRIO & MISSY HIGGINS . KING PRINCESS . MARK SEYMOUR & THE UNDERTOW . RICHARD MARX . RNB FRIDAYS LIVE

FRONTIER TOURING’S SUMMER SERIES PLAY-OFFS


TEENAGE FANCLUB . THEY . BHAD BHABIE . CHANNEL TRES . CHARLI XCX . DAVID BYRNE . DIONNE WARWICK . dvs

LET FRONTIER TOURING BE U S H E R I N G I N C H R I ST M A S W I T H A R I C H M U S I C ST E W

PAUL KELLY ANGUS & JULIA STONE ALEX LAHEY / D.D DUMBO ANGIE McMAHON

SAT 15 DEC THE DOMAIN

the thrill of it all world tour 2018

hot new tickets just released! wed 14 nov fri 16 nov sat 17 nov qudos bank arena

FOR MORE INFORMATION GO


2 N D & FIN A L S H OW MONDAY 4 FEBRUARY ENMORETHEATRE

TO FRONTIERTOURING.COM

SUN 31 MARCH ENMORE THEATRE

FRIDAY JAMS LIVE . JOHN FARNHAM . JOHN BUTLER TRIO & MISSY HIGGINS . KING PRINCESS . MARK SEYMOUR & THE UNDERTOW

YOUR SUMMER GIG GUIDE


RICHARD MARX . RNB FRIDAYS LIVE . TEENAGE FANCLUB . THEY . BHAD BHABIE . CHANNEL TRES . CHARLI XCX . DAVID BYRNE

Friday 30 Nov • State Theatre

SAT 2 NOV SUN 3 NOV QUDOS BANK ARENA

SUGAR MAN IS BACK!

WITH SPECIAL GUEST

SARAH BLASKO TUE 5 FEB ICC SYDNEY THEATRE

FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO FRONTIERTOURING.COM

DIONNE WARWICK . dvsn . FRIDAY JAMS LIVE . JOHN FARNHAM . JOHN BUTLER TRIO & MISSY HIGGINS . KING PRINCESS

FRONTIER TOURING’S SUMMER SERIES PLAY-OFFS


Removalist Zak Clark Clark Removals Ph: 0409 808 866 Gardening Leigh Perrie Hedges n' Edges Ph: 0424 700 139

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

2 3 9 10 16 17 23 24 30

4 11 18 25

MAROUBRA MOONLIGHT CINEMA The inaugural Maroubra Moonlight Cinema is on at Maroubra Bay Public this evening from 5.30pm. A twilight disco will kick off the fun, followed by a family-friendly movie at 7.30pm. Tickets are $10 for kids and $15 for adults. Please visit maroubramoonlightcinema.com.au.

WAVERLEY CEMETERY OPEN DAY Get down this morning from 9-10.30am to explore our state heritage listed cemetery, attend a historic tour led by Friends of Waverley Cemetery and discuss your requirements with the friendly team. For more information, visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au.

DES RENFORD GALA FAMILY DAY Des Renford Leisure Centre and The Victor Chang Cardiac Research Institute invite you to the annual Des Renford Chair of Heart Research Family Gala Day from 7am today. Every dollar you spend will go to the institute. Visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au for info.

FOOD ADDICTS MEETINGS Today, Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) is hosting one of its twice weekly meetings, which are held every Wednesday at 7pm and Friday at 10am at Salvation Army Hall, 100 Boyce Road, Maroubra. For more information, please visit www.foodaddicts.org.

BIGGEST CRICKET MATCH EVER Potentially the biggest crowd grade cricket has ever seen will descend on Coogee Oval today to see two of the world’s best cricketers, Steve Smith and Dave Warner, do battle as the Randwick Petersham ‘Randy Petes’ take on the Sutherland Sharks.

URBAN WINERY BLENDING CLASS Blend your own wine and experience what it’s like to be a winemaker today at Urban Winery. Learn, taste, blend and judge in this unique workshop within minutes from the beach. It’s only $150 per person and you can book at www.urbanwinerysydney.com.au.

RANDWICK BOYS' HIGH REUNIONS Randwick Boys’ High classes of 1958 and ‘68 are holding their 60-year and 50-year reunions on Friday, November 16 and Wednesday, November 28 respectively. The 1958 crew can call Robert on 9389 8844 and the 1968 crew can call Warwick on 0400 132 455.

NOODLE MARKETS AT KINGSFORD Local restaurants from Kenso and Kingsford put their best dishes on show from 12-9pm today at Meeks Street, Kingsford. Expect a day filled with entertainment, tradition and great food presented by Randwick Council and the Kingsford Chamber of Commerce.

BONDI SUNDAY MARKETS Today, and every Sunday between 10am and 4pm, you’ll find clothing from up-and-coming designers, handmade jewellery, exotic imports, retro-chic furniture, vinyl records, homewares, one-off vintage pieces and more. Please visit www.bondimarkets.com.au.

WHITE RIBBON WALK Meet at High Cross Park, Randwick at 7.15am and march to Grant Reserve, Coogee Beach to help fund education, training and awareness programs to stop violence against women. For more information about this year’s walk, visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

GROW IT LOCAL Connect with local growers and showcase what you grow and know with Grow It Local, a celebration of backyard, balcony and community farmers. Join the Weekend Walkaround today and tomorrow to see local patches or show off your own. Visit www.growitlocal.com.

AUSTRALIA v INDIA AT THE SCG Get down to the SCG from 6.50pm to watch the Aussies take on India in the Twenty20 cricket. Please visit www.scgt.nsw.gov.au. RANDWICK'S BEST GIFT MARKET Browse unique gifts today at Alison Park, Randwick from 9am-3pm. Visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.

AN EVENING WITH THE CHURCH Frontier Touring is delighted to present The Church at the State Theatre this evening. They will play the entirety of their groundbreaking album Starf ish and a selection of band and fan favourites. For more info and to book, please visit www.frontiertouring.com.

Plumbing Steve Kova Blocked Drain Co. Ph: 0414 885 675 Fencing Troy Salvatico Jim’s Fencing Ph: 0405 543 530 Builder Mark Potocki Against The Grain Ph: 0415 688 562 Rubbish Removal Dave Whiteley Dave's Rubbish Ph: 0401 296 069 Mechanic Jordan Hayman JH Automotive Ph: 0424 144 987 Painter Brett Dooley Nielson Dooley Ph: 0404 888 089 BBQ Caterer Wardy Wardy & Sons Ph: 0414 293 396 Concrete Head Jay Rodney Oceanside Ph: 0411 989 565 Plumber Luke Fletcher Pipe Up Plumbing Ph: 0431 638 558 Locksmith Bradley Rope SOS Locksmiths Ph: 0498 767 767 Electrician Adrian Langen Langen Electrical Ph: 0400 006 008

Arborist Jeff Hunt Prompt Trees Ph: 0412 280 338

by visiting www.thebeast.com.au/events-guide


Banking Memories

BARRY DU BOIS Interview Dan Hutton Pictures Jeremy Greive Instagram @jeremygreive

Y

ou may recognise television tradie and all-round good guy Barry Du Bois as one-quarter of the popular Friday night Channel Ten lifestyle show, The Living Room, or as a familiar face from around the traps in Bondi. During the month The Beast caught up with the bloke better known as ‘Baz’ to talk about cancer battles, reproductive struggles, banking memories and why retiring at 45 was the right thing to do... Where are you originally from? Newbridge Road, Moorebank, just out of Liverpool. Between Liverpool and Bankstown. So you're a westie made good? I was good when I was a westie, don't worry about that. How long have you been living in the Eastern Suburbs? I was just trying to think about that. It’s an interesting story, actually. I was a very successful builder in my area, and it must have been during one of the property booms, so mid to late '80s I'm guessing, and there was so much work happening that big builders were hiring guys like me to do jobs that they'd already priced so highly that they could just subcontract them out and still make money. I got asked to price a job on Village High Road, Vaucluse. Now I'm from Moorebank, so I thought, "Where will I live?" I couldn't travel that far every day, that's an incredible journey. I’d priced the job back then for about $270,000 I think, which was the biggest job that I'd ever done at the time. Bondi Beach wasn't such a trendy area back then, but I'd never been this side of the airport, so to speak. Quite frankly, I hadn't been over here at all. So that must have been the late '80s. I made a fortune off that

$270,000, and I think the builder had priced it at $400,000. It was a really funny thing because the renovation was a whole house renovation, and the clients back then had put all the washing machine and fridge and freezer and all these white goods out on the road. I said, "What's happening with all these white goods?" They said, "They're for you to throw out." I said, "But these are all perfectly good things, there's nothing wrong with any of them." My mum had had the same washing machine for 30 years. I said, "Can I buy them off you?" And they said, "No, you can just have them. Have whatever you like." The head contractor said to me,"It's going to go in the tip and it costs us money to get rid of it, so it's yours if you want it." I said, "These people can actually afford to just throw away a perfectly good washing machine? What sort of people live in this area?" It didn't take me long to work out that the people who lived in this area weren't any smarter than me, they just seemed to have more. I thought, "Well, I want to be in the middle of that." I moved into a little apartment above a shop in Vaucluse and did the job down there. I had a girlfriend who lived back out in the western suburbs, so I'd go home on the weekend and I'd say, "I've got to show you this place that exists. There's this road called Lang Road, it's like a movie." And we drove along Lang Road really slowly and I was showing her these big houses, because I lived in the west in a fibro house and I thought the only guy in our area that had a brick home must’ve been one of the richest guys in the country. I was just fascinated by that. So I drove her along Lang Road and through Centennial Park, and I

drove her up to Watson's Bay and just stood at Doyle’s and looked at the harbour. I said, "Did you know that this existed?" For a guy from the western suburbs who lived on a six-lane highway, this was fascinating stuff, and I knew then I wanted to be a part of it. So I made it my business to make a home here, and because I was making so much money off the building works that I was doing, I was able to afford it. Because they were charging three times as much here as they did out west, I'd do the same work and get paid three times as much.

“The beautiful thing is that on one side of you you may have a longterm local who works on the council, and on the other side you might have the top brain surgeon in the country.” What do you love about the area? Everything. Anybody who lives in the Eastern Suburbs should realise how lucky they are. We live five or 10 minutes from the best hospital in the country. I live 150 metres from where I believe is the most beautiful smile in the country, being Bondi Beach. That big smile, you know, it's just perfect. There's a real village-feel atmosphere here. My neighbour is my friend. It’s like it is out in the suburbs, you know? Probably more so, actually. The beautiful thing is that on one side of you you may have a longterm local who works on the council, and on the other side you might have the top brain surgeon in the country. I've got some Orthodox

November 2018 | The Beast 47


Jewish people on one side and on the other side I've got some Islamic friends. It's an incredibly diverse, beautiful place, and that's a gift. To walk down a local Australian street and to be able to hear two or three other languages, and start talking to someone in a café who has just come here from another country, that doesn't happen everywhere, and it certainly didn't happen back when I was growing up. What gets your goat about the Eastern Suburbs? The fact that we don't recognise what we have here. We treat it like a bit of a dumping ground. We're over-governed by the council as well. Everybody knows that the council cut the swing down out of my tree out the front, because they figured that a swing could make this area somehow more dangerous than it already is. The same council would have paid someone money to come up with the idea to put down pavers on Curlewis Street that are so slippery when it's wet you can't walk on them safely. You're a builder by trade, is that right? I started off as a carpenter, then I became a builder and I have an incredible passion for design and I was mentored by a fantastic architect. How did you first get your carpentry apprenticeship? In the western suburbs of Sydney in 1975, you were going to be whatever your uncles or your father was, pretty much. I had one uncle who was a carpenter, one uncle who was a mechanic. I liked the outdoors so I went with the carpenter. What did your parents do? My dad was a toolmaker, but he was a bit of an entrepreneur. He always had an extra business going. He had Moorebank Mower Service, but also later in life he was the guy who supplied stretchers for the New South Wales and Australian ambulance services. What's the heritage of your surname, Du Bois? It’s French. It means ‘of wood’. My father's father was French. He came out here from Europe as a wool classer for the big fashion labels, so he would class

48 The Beast | November 2018

the wool that would be sent back to Paris for the big fashion labels. And on the other side I'm very English, because my grandfather, who lived in three centuries, was the personal valet to the King's physician. He was present when they decided King George, who was dying of pneumonia and a whole bunch of other things, would have euthanasia so that his death could make the print the next day in the London Times. Interestingly enough, I think they injected 500 milligrams or something of cocaine into his jugular so he could die peacefully, and then the House of Lords debated for a year whether the common man could have that same right, and they voted against it.

“I sold a bunch of property, capitalised on a over-exaggerated market, and the market then crashed while I was sailing around the south of France.” You must have been quite successful in the building game, because I read that you retired in 2005 at the age of 45; is that right? I never look a gift horse in the mouth. I don't take much notice of anybody else; I always back myself. I'd ridden a couple of property booms in my life. I had amassed a fair bit of property over that time and my plan was to retire when I had X amount of money. I'd set a plan that would probably see me get there when I was about 55 or 60, to reach that amount of money and to have a home. Because of that last property boom I'd gone past that figure, so that's one part of the story. The second part of the story is that my mum had passed away in 2004, my wife then got cancer in 2005, and I had started to realise I couldn't control everything. As a strong alpha male, when you can't control things that's a big fight, and like most men in Australia I didn't share that frustration with anybody, I didn't talk about it, and it manifested and got worse and worse

inside of me. So by 2005 I had more money than I'd ever dreamed of and I was manically depressed at the same time. When a doctor suggested I start taking antidepressants and my wife was saying that I wasn't the same guy that she married because I was doing a lot of stupid things, I said, "Well you know what? I'm going to reset here." I'd said to myself that if I got to this point I was going to retire and sail around the world. Financially I was past that point, but mentally I was nowhere near that point. I was hoping that by stopping work and sailing around the world it might get me back to an even balance. And it did. So the retirement was partly because I was financially successful, but primarily because I was unbalanced and I could see myself doing something stupid if I kept going on down that dark passage. Did you work much at all between 2005 and when your television career started in 2012? Not at all. I had six months of the year here in our beautiful home in Bondi Beach and six months of the year on our yacht, Bella Sogni, mostly in the south of France and Italy at that stage. And you still sail now? Yeah. Still got the same boat? Yep. Where does it live? It lives in Turkey now, in Marmaris. We were there last year and we'll be there next year. Are you an accomplished sailor? I'm an accomplished everything. There's nothing I wouldn't take on. Have you done any races or anything? Have you done SydneyHobart or anything like that? When I wanted to become a sailor I said to Udo Edlinger, a North Bondi local, that I wanted to sail. He was a boat broker at the time. I said, "Keep an eye out for a little boat for me. Find something I can tinker with on the weekends, sail a little bit, because I want to sail more." I'd always had boats of some description. I knew on the water was somewhere I could find some peace. Udo found me a little tender, a mooring minder, and myself, my


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dad, my brother and Justin Rogers, another great local here, we picked the mooring minder up and we sailed it around to a block of land I owned in Middle Harbour, and I paid for a mooring there. We just loved it. So from there Udo said to me, "Well mate, if you're going to have a boat you may as well learn to sail properly. Come down to the CYC and I'll put you on a boat with a mate of mine and you can pick up some knowledge there." I met an incredible guy by the name of Fraser Johnson, who at the time had sailed about 33 Sydney to Hobarts, 12 Admiral Cups; he's a genius. What he does is deliver yachts all over the Eastern Suburbs, all over Australia. He used to take me drifting, and that's when I was retiring. He knew I was struggling emotionally so he said, "Why don't you come and deliver a yacht with me up to Hamilton Island?" So we picked up the boat at the CYC and we sailed it 10 days straight to Hamilton Island. I was hooked for life then. I said, "This is what's going to make me happy." I said to myself, "I'm not going to buy a yacht here in Australia because I'll probably never leave the harbour, but if I buy a yacht in France I'll probably sail it home." My wife was incredibly supportive, so hence the retirement. I sold a bunch of property, capitalised on a over-exaggerated market, and the market then crashed while I was sailing around the south of France.

“If I wasn't having fun I'd be gone, and I think the other three are the same. We're only really tied to the show because of each other.” How did you first get your start in television? One of my greatest mates is Peter Colquhoun - local legend, a renaissance man. He's an artist, so he's a free spirit and a lateral thinker… He designed North Bondi Surf Club, didn't he? He was part of that, with Neil Durbach. He’s just an amazing guy and we've been great mates

50 The Beast | November 2018

since the day I met him, and that was the day I met my wife as well, which is an interesting story itself. There was one café at North Bondi at one stage, before Sean's Panaroma, before all those things, and it was called Dooley's Café. Brett Dooley and Leonie, my wife, owned that together. Brett was a local photographer, painter and a good footy player too. I was building a house at Dover Heights, I think, and I walked into Dooley's Café, opposite North Bondi Surf Club, and there were all these pictures of these guys on the wall, local athletes - Jimmy Walker, Scotty Thompson, David Campese, Scotty Van Houten - they were all on the wall there and I thought it was fascinating. I was still very much a westie, although I was living up at Vaucluse, and I was talking to the girl behind the counter, who was a great sort, and I said, "Who are all these people? This is fantastic." And I'm sitting there at Dooley's, looking across at North Bondi; when you grow up on a six-lane highway that's just glorious, you know. We take it for granted when we see it, but it's just gorgeous. Sure enough, Pete Colquhoun walked in. He had been a professional ironman and the girl behind the counter said, "One of those guys just walked in." Pete being Pete was very confident. He introduced himself and we started talking. He was interested that I was a builder because he was an architect, and I said, "What's this all about, how come you're up on the wall?" And he said, "I was an ironman. I grew up here so I was reasonably good at the surf skills and stuff like that." I think he asked me if I could swim, and if I was competitive. I said, "No, I mean I can swim but I'm no athlete." But me being as confident as I am, I said to him, "If I had have grown up here though I'd be up on that wall for sure." He thought that was brilliant, and we've been great mates ever since then. So the good-looking girl behind the counter was Leonie, who is now your wife? Yeah, it was her café. So getting back to your start on television... Well, Pete and I had travelled a little bit together. So

what happened was, Pete would come over and spend some time with me on the boat, and we would always go to these out of the way places. Leonie liked the Riviera in Italy, whereas Pete would say, "You reckon we could sail to Malta this year?" And I'd say, "Yep, for sure." Then one year I rang him up and he said, "Where are you?" And I said, "I'm in Italy," and he says, "Why don't we go to North Africa?" I said, "Yeah, fly over, we'll sail to North Africa." He ended up having to meet me in North Africa. I sailed singlehandedly from Italy down to North Africa, via Sicily, and met Pete. At the time he was doing that show, Great Australian Sandcastles, which was a great show. I think it's now called Great Australian Homes. So Pete was taking a lot of footage of this journey, because we were meeting troglodytes who live under the ground, and we were in these really strong Islamic countries with beautiful Islamic architecture. He was doing all these pieces to camera and he had this idea that him and I could sail to these amazing places and we could decode the history of the city via the sea gateway and via the architecture of that city. He said, "I'm going to put this together as a pitch and if someone buys it, we can spend two months of the year making a TV show on your boat." Genius. I said, "I don't really have the head for it, but if you want to do that, do it." He did that and then some of that reel was seen by the executive producers of Shine, who were making the TV show The Renovators and they said, "I love that builder guy that's on the yacht." They rang me a couple of times and said they’d like me to come in for a casting. I said I wasn’t interested in doing a casting because I didn’t like TV. I thought the people on TV had butchered renovation. I kept saying no, and then you wouldn't believe it, on the day I found out that I had plasmacytoma myeloma and the doctor had said that my lifespan could be as short as three to six months, the casting agent rang me up for the fifth time and said, "Baz, we would do anything to get you in for a casting for this show. The EP is really keen


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to see you." And I said, "I'll tell you what, I've had some bad news but if you call me in three months and I answer the phone, I'll do the job." I was on the show the next year. So you never saw yourself as being on television? I hated it. Were you planning on remaining retired? No, I had invested in a small boutique bank, an investment bank, so I was lending my investment skills and knowledge of development and real estate to that company as a consultant and I was looking to get back into business one way or another. Was it partly out of boredom? Not boredom, no. The story that you get bored when you're retired is absolutely rubbish. There is no boredom on a yacht in the Mediterranean. You're now one of the four regular panel members with Amanda Keller, Dr Chris Brown and Miguel Maestre on Channel 10's lifestyle show, The Living Room, which has been going since 2012; what's it like working with that motley crew? It's incredible. They're three amazing humans. I met Amanda at a function at the end of the year that I'd worked on The Renovators. We hit it off straight away. Did The Renovators get canned after its first year? Yeah, it got canned after one year but they said to me that they wanted me to hang around. They thought they had something for me and then, as I said, I'd met Amanda and we hit it off. We just talked constantly all night and I felt like I knew her in a past life, I really did. I know now she felt the same way. We're a similar age, we both struggled with having children, we both lost our mums - there was a whole bunch of things there, so we had a real connection. When it was all coming together the four of us met in a rented apartment in North Bondi, just above the Icebergs, and what the makers of the show wanted to do was get the four of us in a room and see that our egos didn't clash too much. It was such a nice day. I knew who Chris was because he was even a su-

52 The Beast | November 2018

perstar then and everybody knows who Amanda is. I had no clue who the Spanish chef was, but my wife said he was a really handsome, veracious sort of a character who did lifestyle shows on the cooking network. We came from four different corners of the Earth but when we met we became one. We're very close. We've been great friends from that day. Do you guys have a contract for a certain period of time or do you just take it year by year? They contract us every year. I think they contracted me for a couple of years. I don't even know. If I wasn't having fun I'd be gone, and I think the other three are the same. We're only really tied to the show because of each other. If Amanda left that would be the end of me and I think it would be the end of the show as we know it today. The show isn't a show, as such, it's about four people who love each other and offer themselves up to be invited into someone's lounge room every week, and lots of people invite us in.

“In my view, I haven't banked anywhere near enough memories for them to remember me yet, so I've got to do that.” Your wife was diagnosed with cancer in 2005; how did you find being the support for her at that stage? I don't think I did a great job of that. I did my best for a while. Listen, I'm an alpha male. I've got two philosophies in life and first one is this: I've never made a mistake in my life, there’s just a shitload of things I'm not going to do the same way next time. The other one is this: everything I've ever done, I can do 10 per cent better. I can love better, I can teach better, I can run better. Everything I do. At the time of my wife’s diagnosis we had been through about 10 or 11 attempts at IVF to have a child, so this was the start of my depression because as an alpha male

I thought I would make love to my partner and we would bear strong, healthy children in the next nine months. There would be a picket fence and two cars and everything would be perfect. Then she got cancer, which makes sense if you pump drugs into yourself for a couple of years of IVF, it's going to imbalance something. We discovered after the 12th attempt, I think, where she was pregnant with twins and miscarried again, that she had a growth there, or some abnormal cells. That started the journey of finding out that she had severe cervical cancer and had to have a complete radical hysterectomy. That ended any chance of having children. So this alpha male, whose only real job on Earth was to procreate and move on, couldn't fulfil that part of it. Then I couldn't help my mum when she was dying and then I couldn't help my wife. When you're sitting in a room and you're the third person, and a doctor's telling your wife something and you can't do anything about it, it's really emasculating and deflating. So that was the start of my depression as well. My mum was dying and I, with all the money I had, couldn't fix it. Then Leonie got sick and I couldn't fix that either. You start to question yourself. What can you do? What is your worth? I didn't get a lot of enjoyment out of the work I did at the time. I was very good at it but it didn't give me a sense of worth because there was a property boom and every man and his dog in the Eastern Suburbs was a developer. I was just one of those losers who couldn't do anything else. I wasn't in a great mental state when Leonie got sick. I was an emasculated alpha male. So when you ask me if I did a good job, I don't think I did anything to my utmost ability back then. I don't think I even loved as well as I could back then, for that period. I know I wasn't mentally 100 per cent, so what I did was I cared and I loved her and I would have done anything, wrote any cheque or held her hand, but I felt I could do nothing. After enduring and overcoming one family cancer battle, all of a sudden 2010 comes around and this time it’s


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you in the firing line; is it true you were out surfing when you encountered the first symptoms of what was eventually diagnosed as plasmacytoma myeloma? Yeah, that's right, I cracked my neck. Typically, it was Christmas time and it wasn’t until March that I went to see the doctor, three months later. Being that alpha male I thought nothing could harm me, so I was like, "Yeah, okay, I've got cancer. I've had a great life. Nothing will beat me." I've never thought anything could beat me. What was the process like after you were diagnosed and found out that your neck was cracked? It was pretty horrific. I'd never been in hospital and I had huge surgery. There are six or eight rods and half a dozen screws in there and a bracket to hold my skull on. There are another couple of screws in my skull. I'd lost my C1 vertebrae completely. I'd physically lost the bone connection between my spine and my head. The only thing that was holding it on was nervous system and the muscles in my neck. That was pretty daunting, but I handle my own health differently to how I handle everybody else's, as most men do. We feel that we're unbreakable and unstoppable and everybody else is fragile. How much treatment did you have to undergo? I had major surgery, then nine weeks of radiotherapy. Then I went from 115kg down to about 78kg. It was a rough time but I was focussed on becoming well again. How long was it before you were in the clear? Well, you're never in the clear with cancer. I was having monthly then bi-monthly, then every three months, then six-monthly check-ups and they were all clear, so we put it out to about six-monthly and then I'd missed three checks in a row, so it had been 18 months before I'd seen a doctor and that was about six or seven years later. I had a funny pain and I hadn't been to the doctor for a couple of years, so I thought I'd better go and check it out and that's when I found out I had the second cancer, which was last year.

54 The Beast | November 2018

How was it dealing with the cancer’s return? The second time round was very different. This time I had five year-old children, which made it a thousand times more emotionally taxing. We're not here for us, we're here for them. In my view, I haven't banked anywhere near enough memories for them to remember me yet, so I've got to do that. Are you still undergoing treatment? Yeah. I'm on a second treatment now. The multiple myeloma that I’ve been diagnosed with is not a curable disease, but it's something that’s manageable with modern science and a healthy lifestyle of good nutrition, exercise and mental wellbeing. Medical science believes it's manageable for five years or so. I believe that combining medical science with the science of nutrition and the science of physiology and mental health I can push it out a lot further than that and bank on the fact that the medical science boffins will come up with even better treatments in the future. All the talk and all the hope is for immunotherapy. It's an external thing that has given me this cancer and it's my own immune system that has let me down. If I can build that immune system, that's what will beat those internal problems. So you’re reasonably content with your prognosis, for lack of a more appropriate adjective? Sure, I never put any investment into a negative thought anyway. I just refuse to. I've learnt from all my time of investing and analysing things that a mental investment in a negative thought gives me no return on my money, zero. I don't have to have a positive thought either, but a positive thought or sensation or belief always seems to give me a little dividend of something. Do you think that your cancer could be a result of the toxins you've been exposed to in your trade? I think all cancers are a result of some sort of external lifestyle influence. I used to think that I should really stress out about that and I should probably change the world and fix that, but maybe it's just going to take some time and innovation. Do I think

that we should have a phone next to our head all the time? No, I don't. Do I think that the road should be made of tar when it's a level four carcinogenic? No, I don't. We'll either get used to it – that might mean we have two heads and three assholes in 1000 years - or they'll change it. But we're just a part of it, as we were when we learnt to cook meat on a fire in front of a cave.

“When my mum passed away in 2004, she was in a regional hospital that I believe, in hindsight, was a bit of a conveyor belt to death.” Speaking of cooking meat on a fire in front of a cave, can you please tell us a bit about the book you've written with Miguel and how it came about? Yeah, it was very special to me. As I said, you and me are very lucky. We are really lucky to live right down the road from the best hospital in the country. I have amazing nutritionists, one of which is my wife, giving me so much incredible information on the value of nutrition. My wife's also a personal trainer, so physiology is something I've learnt that can add to this success of my life. When my mum passed away in 2004, she was in a regional hospital that I believe, in hindsight, was a bit of a conveyor belt to death. There was no pitch for a long life there. It was a case of you've got this, your prognosis is that, let's take as many drugs as you can until you die. I wanted to share the importance of nutrition. I know that I have the best of the best - I have great friends, I have a full family, I have a whole life, I have everything. I know that through my platform on television there are a lot of people out there - single mums and dads, people who are struggling financially, people who don't have all the things that I have - and I want to share the things I know with these people. I said to Miguel, "I want to help some people and what is helping me is nutrition." I could see a real noticeable difference in the way I


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was handling the treatment because of nutrition and exercise and meditation. Miguel is an amazing cook who has an amazing platform. I said to him, "People are gonna see me on television go from a healthy guy to a very sick guy, and with the help of you and my wife, I'm gonna come back to a very strong guy. And we will be able to take people on that journey with us, and they can learn from the things that are happening to me." So that was the idea and Miguel was all over it. We talked to the nutritionists at the Chris O’Brien Lifehouse, who were really keen to have input into it, to let us know certain food groups that would really help and those sorts of things. I had a ghostwriter, an incredible local guy called Derek Rielly, who I knew from out in the surf. He helped tell my story in the book, from where I started out to where I am today, and the rest is history. The book’s called Life Force and everyone should go out a get a copy, whether they’ve been touched by cancer or otherwise. You've now got two beautiful children, six year-old twins, and you used a surrogate to bring them into the world. While it's a relatively common practice these days, it's not often talked about. Can you walk us through the process? I don't think it's very well understood. The conservative governments don't like same-sex people to have children, so they don't like surrogates. They've painted a pretty bleak picture of it. But it's an amazing thing. We used the science again and we got some donor eggs, then we fertilised those with my sperm and because we found out that my sperm had some problems with it, we were able to magnify it and we were able to hand select the good ones, so to speak. Only five per cent of them were any good, but apparently they were magnificent ones. After seven attempts - we had started surrogacy years before I got cancer, but it was only when I got cancer that I had my sperm frozen and they magnified it to make sure it was worth freezing and found that only five per cent was any good – it finally worked and now we have our two angels.

56 The Beast | November 2018

What's it like becoming a dad at 50-plus? Incredible. I think there are a lot of plusses to being a mature dad. Like I said, my career is intact, I don't have financial woes, I'm not interested in going out on Saturday nights, that's for sure. And I waited so long for these children. I think it’s given me the opportunity, if it's at all possible, to love even harder. What was it like emotionally having worked so hard to make it happen? And because of that do you ever feel that you're overprotective of your children? I think all parents must be. I think we're all overprotective. I think my children are the most beautiful children on Earth. I'll die for them as you will die for yours. You can't go to a higher level than that, you know. I love them more than life itself.

“I need to bank memories, not so that they remember me, as such, because that's narcissistic, but so that I can teach them some stuff.” Has parenthood changed your perspective on life? Yep, definitely. I used to think, "I'm not gonna change my life much when kids come along, I'm gonna still do what I want to do. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that." But your children are your life, in my case anyway. Every spare second I have, I'm with those kids. How do you find balancing work and a young family? I think if you didn't have a balanced life you would find it a stress, and that's a great indicator that your life is out of whack. If your children are frustrating you, life's unbalanced. You and your wife recently celebrated your 19th wedding anniversary; what was it that initially attracted you to her? Everything. I mean she's a beautiful girl. I was probably a bit of a male chauvanist in those days. She was a bit of a leveller for me. She put me in my place, which I found quite fascinating, and also attractive.

What's the secret to a lasting marriage in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney? Self belief, honesty and integrity - a good answer to anything. Have you got any big projects in the pipeline? Yeah, my children. There's no bigger project. I will say, and this is a hard one for me to say, but growing up there was a photo in my mum and dad's house of my dad sitting on the knee of his father, and I used to ask him as a kid how old he was in the picture and he was seven. We obviously live in different times, but my dad had no physical memory of his father. Did your father's father pass away soon after that? Yeah. And my children are six now, so if I was to go, would they remember me? I need to bank memories, not so that they remember me, as such, because that's narcissistic, but so that I can teach them some stuff. My dad knew that his dad was a hard worker, because his mum had told him that his whole life. I want my kids to know what a work ethic is, I want them to know what love is. I know they would anyway through my wife, but still, my biggest project is that. Do you support any charities? Yeah, I'm on the board of R U OK? Day and I'm a proud ambassador of R U OK? Day. Gavin Larkin, an Eastern Suburbs guy, founded it. His father, whose name was Barry, took his own life and it scared Gavin. From all accounts, Gavin's dad was very similar to me - a successful guy in the community who had a dark story like I did. I think it's important to share with other men particularly that they shouldn't be scared to talk about problems. It's important for me to share that message because I know it helps. It helped me. It was when my mates questioned my stability and told me they were worried about me, and I told them my story, that things started to get better for me. In an ideal world, what does the future hold for Baz Du Bois? I live in an ideal world, so whatever happens tomorrow...


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This should have happened by now.

TRANSPORT TO THE FUTURE... IT’S ABOUT TIME Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill Picture Hannah Barbera

W

hen so many aspects of our lives get better as the years go by, why have our transport woes mounted? Stories of the grand armadas and British fleets, the railroads sweeping out across the American mid-west and even visions of The Jetsons from the future offer portraits of transportation as a type of deliverance from old ways of travel into brave new better worlds. Yet clearly transport around our cities and the flow-on impacts of travel have not only become major sources of frustration, but a barrier to our economic growth. Transport is critical to our capacity to get to school, to work and to go about our business. Transport, though, is failing us. Not just in the Eastern Suburbs, but all across our city, it seems that people are increasingly frustrated by trains with jam-packed carriages that run late, buses frequently cancelled and wasted hours of our lives spent stuck on traffic-snarled roads or slow crawling motorways. As public transport fails, more people revert to 58 The Beast | November 2018

driving, the roads get increasingly crowded and traffic slows to a halt, so extra roads are built, more cars take to the road, traffic slows again and the pattern continues. Only a large scale and efficiently run public transport system to move us from our homes to our places of weekday work or weekend leisure will break this vicious cycle. Alas, in Sydney and especially the Eastern Suburbs, we seem to have been lumbered with the worst of all worlds when it comes to our transportation needs. While we’re still waiting for that Back to the Future-like utopia, with hovering cars rising above and swerving around obstructions, we are stuck right back down on earth in our gridlocked neighbourhoods. While government has invested in a light rail system that will already be chocker-block on opening day, and while more and more bus services are cancelled, both public and private transport users have become trapped in a nightmare of construction zones and detours. When workers take to their

cars and seek to avoid bottlenecks around the light rail construction areas snaking their way through the east, adjoining suburbs and even the narrowest back streets become rat runs for those desperate to get to their destination. Consider the case of a woman I know who lives in Maroubra and works in Bondi Junction. She drives to Bronte each morning to park her car and take a bus to work in an attempt to shave a few precious minutes off her commute. We live in a great country, a rich state and a beautiful part of the world, but in recent years the freedom to move around the city and conduct our daily lives has come under threat. In my day-to-day work, I speak to people from all walks of life, ages and demographics. What has struck me most in recent times is a deep sense of people’s frustration with the way our city and its suburbs are being developed and planned. There is also a growing sense of loss and even sadness associated with the closure of what were once Sydney’s very best bus services. The human faces of a cancelled bus service include those friends, family members and neighbours unable to access their library, hospital, school or work without huge amounts of additional time, resources and inconvenience. In the case of the aged or infirm, many citizens are now denied basic access to the means to travel from place to place. Unfortunately, things may get worse. A monstrous motorway is coming to a suburb near you and it’s effectively the Randwick tentacle of WestConnex. It is called the Alexandria to Moore Park ‘upgrade’ and the plan is to connect Anzac Parade and Alison Road to WestConnex via a giant new interchange, all just to deal with the 50 per cent forecast increase in traffic spewing out from WestConnex towards the east. As if the Randwick and Kensington areas have not experienced enough destruction and loss of green open space with the light rail, we now face the prospect of a


‘Continuous Flow Interchange’ in the middle of our locality, emitting high concentrations of carbon monoxide and greenhouse gases into the air around our precious parks and suburban streets. The real tragedy of all this is that it could so easily have been averted had better transport planning been adopted over the last few years. I’m not suggesting a government should never build another road. The tide of transport planning history is, however, turning well away from enormous cashcow motorways and towards more sustainable and healthy means of moving around. Amidst all the concerns, if we change the way we plan transport we can find reasons for optimism. We only need to look around the world at what other cities have been doing in recent years. Cities across Europe, in Asia and even in the often-criticised United States are moving away from the culture of the big motorway. Smart cities are moving towards rapid transit systems often powered by renewable energy, active transport corridors, more walkable cities, and even smarter ways of working to reduce the pressures on a city caused by the traditional commute. Australia should be at the forefront of this movement. Sadly, this seems to be the opposite of what’s happening in Sydney, but it’s not too late to change. I believe the community has already changed its mind and is now extremely wary of overdevelopment, with people realising the urgent need for a more future-focused transport planning mix. The next step is changing our politicians’ minds, but if you can’t change the politicians’ minds, perhaps it’s time to change the politicians. As the old saying goes, if you can’t change the people, change the people! Dr Marjorie O’Neill is a Waverley Councillor. The views expressed here are her own, although we generally agree with them.

WHAT IS THE SOLUTION TO SYDNEY'S TRANSPORT PROBLEMS? Interviews and Pictures Stiffy McPherson

Tyson BONDI You’re asking someone who walks to work every day! We need some long-term thinking. The light rail networks are a step in the right direction but look at how they’ve been mismanaged by successive governments. We need to invest in sustainable opportunities like self-driving cars and energy efficient transport, and a train to Bondi Beach is only a matter of time - I think they had it right all those years ago with the tram network.

Jayde COOGEE You walk, that’s the answer! I take public transport to work but I’d dive and swim to work every day if I could. I have a car but it’s not even working, and I don’t even know if I want a car, to be honest. I’ll just move closer to work and walk. They need to get more people on scooters, and build more bike lanes to encourage cycling. And the process of getting a scooter or bike licence needs to be simplified; it’s way too complicated.

Paul BRONTE We need more public transport, not more roads - building roads achieves little. Roads should be used by the people who need them, like tradies who need to take their tools to work. Public transport should be tiered, with fast radial services connecting to ring services so you can go from the city centre out in all directions as well as orbiting the centre. The light rail appears to be quite fragmented but it could form part of a broader solution. November 2018 | The Beast 59


Cars floating down Dolphin Street, Coogee back in May 2009.

COOGEE STORMWATER SOLUTION ON THE HORIZON Words Bruce Notley-Smith, State Member for Coogee Picture Iva Leak

I

n 1862, Richard Heany recollected fishing and shooting as a young man, 30 years earlier, in the bay and the hills of Coogee. He recalled “a waterfall bounded by the cliff ” cascading into a brook below, one of several that fed a creek on the valley floor that meandered its way to the beach. I’m not sure where exactly the waterfall Heany referred to was; my guess is where Albert and Pitt Streets now intersect. Or it may have been the waterfall that tumbled into Albi Place, or the one that spilled from Marcel Avenue into Pauling Avenue below. These waterfalls, brooks and creeks, their magical sight and sound, are lost to us now, hidden from view, buried, incarcerated in concrete. But flow they still do, even in the driest weather, joining as one to cross the northern end of Coogee Beach into the sea. The water quality of the Coogee creek has received much attention in recent times, and rightly so, as laboratory testing has shown it can contain a cocktail of nasties, even when the water is visibly clear. This problem should be easy to solve by simply stopping the contamination 60 The Beast | November 2018

and diverting the creek’s beach outlet to another location. This can be done, but there is nothing simple about it, as a collaborative working group consisting of Sydney Water, Randwick Council, some dedicated residents and I have learnt over the past 18 months, committed to solving this problem once and for all. How to deal with the dry weather base flow and the first flush of stormwater that arrives minutes after rainfall, both of which contain the most contaminants, has been the highest priority. Options under investigation include diversion of these flows into the old Randwick Sewage Outfall in the cliff face past Dolphins Point, which remains as a relief valve to prevent sewage backing up should the system be overwhelmed. The better option is directing these flows into the Coogee Diversion, a trunkline below Beach Street completed in 1936 to carry Coogee’s sewage to Malabar. This would solve most of the problem most of the time, but both pipes have finite capacity. Residents will remember the downpours of 1999 and 2009, but some will never forget the biggest

in living memory. In October 1959, a storm cell twice the intensity of a one in 100 year event dropped 265 millimetres in just four hours. Hundreds of homes in the valley flooded and Coogee Oval sat below three metres of water. By comparison, 1999 and 2009 saw 74 millimetres and 77 millimetres fall respectively, discharging 30,000 litres of water per second on to the beach, but still the waters backed up and the valley flooded, again. If such an enormous volume of stormwater was directed and confined to the sewage system, we’d probably see geysers of raw sewerage spurting skyward, and with the flow so constricted Coogee would still flood. So what can be done with such a huge volume of water if it’s not to be discharged into the ocean and can’t be disposed of via the sewage network? Coogee’s stormwater has been captured, stored and reused for irrigation for many years, but its current capacity can’t store huge volumes. For many years I’ve been exploring options for expanding this capacity and to reduce the volume of stormwater reaching the beach so suddenly in the first place. It’s a risky business, though. Any proposal to change the hydrology of a catchment requires expert studies and modelling, including challenges posed by sea level rises, to ensure that in solving one problem we don’t inadvertently create a bigger one somewhere else. Very soon we’ll have finished collecting this data and finally, after decades of inaction, we’ll be able to remove contaminated stormwater from Coogee Beach. Governments have to take the lead on issues such as this, but we can all play our part by preventing contaminants from reaching the stormwater system in the first place. Bruce Notley-Smith is the State Member for Coogee. The views expressed here are his own, although we generally agree with them as well.


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Bruce Notley-Smith MP State Member for Coogee

15/53-55B Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031 02 9398 1822 office@notleysmith.com.au www.notleysmith.com bnsmp Authorised by Bruce Notley-Smith, 15/53-55B Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031 using parliamentary entitlements.


Stress less.

THE UNRELIABLE GUIDE TO... MEDITATION Words Nat Shepherd Picture Dorota Dylka

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very man and his Buddhist budgie should know about the benefits of meditation by now. Celebrities from Madonna and Michael Jordan to Jerry Seinfeld and Russell Brand all swear by it. But how does it work? And how do you do it? The Unreliable Guide has some tips and tricks to help you meditate your way to happiness... WHY MEDITATE? Spiritual leader Sri Sri Ravi Shankar insists that 20 minutes mediation is equivalent to eight hours sleep, but how can this be? Ravi states that, “By doing meditation, you can turn your body into a powerhouse by generating an inner source of energy.” It sounds like hippy claptrap, but science is starting to agree. Meditation enables us to be fully present in the moment - if we’re not regretting the past or worrying about the future we can react more effectively to situations that arise around us. Meditation enables clarity of thought; we’re more aware of our inner desires and thus increase our self-awareness. HOW TO MEDITATE While sitting cross-legged and chanting ‘Om’ for twenty minutes may sound easy, it is a good idea to have some meditation training.

62 The Beast | November 2018

Just a couple of lessons can set you on the right track. There are plenty of teachers out there, but the Buddhist Centre in Camperdown offers great non-denominational training courses in exchange for a small donation of your time or money. Or there is a huge selection of apps you can try. However, like most worthwhile skills, once you’ve learned to meditate you’ll need to practice, preferably every day. WHERE TO MEDITATE You don’t have to move to Tibet and become a Buddhist or sit cross-legged on an ashram floor; you can meditate almost anywhere. You will, however, need a place and time where you will not be disturbed. If that’s not an option at home, consider attending a class where you’ll also have the support of a group of people on a similar quest for inner peace. BENEFITS OF MEDITATION The main point of mediation is to allow the mind to become still and calm. But why should we aim for a calm mind? Surely a busy, active mind is best? Nope, busy means overextended. Think of your laptop - does it work well when it’s trying to process twenty different things at the same time? Nope, it crashes, and so will you. Remem-

ber, calm does not equal nothing; it is a state of readiness. A stressed mind will try to predict every outcome, which is impossible, leading to burnout. In a state of calm readiness, like a cat, you can spring instantly into the perfect, appropriate response. HEALTHY BODY From the common cold to cancer, stress is blamed as the root cause of many illnesses, largely because the chemicals caused by stress negatively affect our immune systems. Recent research has proven that regular meditation boosts the immune system, promoting white blood cell activity and giving you the power to fight off illness. In addition, meditation can reduce anxiety, lower high blood pressure, increase concentration and lengthen attention span. It’s also a great cure for insomnia: meditation tidies up mind-clutter, so instead of restless nights fighting ‘runaway’ thoughts, you’ll fall asleep easily. Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests that the real secret of happiness is not thinking about anything too much, especially not yourself. Go for a walk, look at a tree and think about... leaves. Leaves are amazing!


NOVEMBER 2018 TIDE CHART Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Picture Dan Mather Instagram @dwcm MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

2 0435 1015 1637 2321

1.31 0.61 1.61 0.35

1 0323 0859 1525 2220

1.25 0.64 1.61 0.39

3 0537 1.40 1126 0.54 1743 1.63

4 0014 0630 1230 1839

10 0415 1044 1718 2316

0.47 1.76 0.35 1.33

11 0451 0.54 1121 1.71 1801 0.41

17 0441 1019 1633 2314

1.25 0.75 1.39 0.52

18 0533 1124 1731 2358

1.33 0.70 1.41 0.47

24 0310 0938 1610 2211

0.36 1.89 0.23 1.46

25 0355 1023 1700 2302

0.38 1.92 0.21 1.43

5 0101 0717 1326 1931

0.28 1.61 0.37 1.63

6 0145 0802 1417 2019

0.28 1.70 0.31 1.60

7 0224 0845 1505 2105

0.30 1.76 0.28 1.54

8 0302 0926 1551 2150

0.34 1.79 0.28 1.47

9 0339 1005 1635 2234

0.40 1.79 0.31 1.40

12 0000 0529 1200 1846

1.26 0.61 1.64 0.47

13 0045 0610 1241 1934

1.21 0.67 1.57 0.52

14 0136 0659 1328 2028

1.18 0.73 1.50 0.55

15 0235 0759 1423 2126

1.17 0.77 1.44 0.57

16 0340 0908 1528 2223

1.19 0.78 1.40 0.55

19 0617 1.42 1219 0.62 1821 1.44

20 0037 0658 1308 1907

0.43 1.53 0.52 1.47

21 0115 0735 1353 1950

0.39 1.63 0.43 1.49

22 0151 0814 1437 2035

0.36 1.74 0.34 1.50

23 0230 0855 1522 2121

0.35 1.83 0.27 1.49

26 0443 1112 1753 2358

27 0534 0.49 1203 1.87 1850 0.27

28 0057 0632 1259 1950

1.34 0.55 1.79 0.31

29 0200 0736 1400 2053

1.32 0.60 1.71 0.35

30 0308 0846 1505 2155

1.34 0.63 1.62 0.37

0.43 1.91 0.23 1.38

Training sessions.

SUNDAY

0.31 1.51 0.45 1.64


The illuminated stingray carving at Mackenzies Point.

OUR ABORIGINAL PAST AND PRESENT Words Con Gestion Picture Hal Logen

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ave you ever wondered who lived where you are now who walked the streets, played in the park or combed the beach? What ghosts and spirits inhabit the place around us? I am regularly in awe of what my ancestors have given me, as I live happily here on Sydney’s glorious Eastern Beaches. I can go back quite a few generations in the stories passed down from my grandparents about their grandparents - warts and all, heroes and villains, ghosts in cupboards. I am lucky to have this knowledge. It is grounding. I am fortunate to have my feet planted in two great cultures. Greece has given the world many things - democracy, philosophy, theatre, architecture and mythical superheroes - and only in a relative drop of time. Where we live, the Australian Aboriginal has given the world its oldest living culture. Greek and Western civilisations are mere grains of sand in time by comparison. There is a lot to admire about Aboriginal culture, which is not told as well as ancient Greek 64 The Beast | November 2018

culture, I am sorry to say. In 60,000 years here, Aboriginals have continuously adapted to the environmental conditions of the day. They lived in harmony and didn’t bugger the place up. They didn’t need writing and schools as we know them, they had storytelling and used nature as a coded encyclopaedia. The supermarket and chemist was all around them, seasons gave them fresh produce and medicine, and if it didn’t they went searching over the hill. For technology they had fire stick farming to create animal feeding grounds (read paddocks) and regrowth vegetation (read vegetable gardens), canoes from tree bark and the awesome boomerang, which could do its thing and then come back. The expensive naval hardware down at Garden Island can’t do anything clever like that. If you look around you can see quite a few things that are part of our Aboriginal past and, if you try hard enough, you can feel some spirits. There is the glorious birdlife that happily cohabits with us - the cockatoos, the parrots, the noisy minors, the fairy wrens, the

kookaburras, the cormorants and many others whose ancestors go back past Aboriginal occupation to the dinosaurs. Our landscape still has eucalyptus, banksia, grevillea and lomandra as floral descendants. Animals are scarcer. Fortunately the sea still has many species that the Aboriginals feasted upon, though not in such abundance. My favourites are the groper, schools of blackfish, the stingrays and the spectacular kingfish. The Gadigal people left prolific rock engravings of marine life they admired on the Bondi cliffs, both south and north of the beach. What totems will we leave? They were resilient, adaptable people from whom we can learn a lot. Many surfers don’t know that the shoreline wasn’t always where it is now, but many kilometres out to sea when water was frozen in icecaps and glaciers, and the current seabed was lush with vegetation. And that is where they roamed. They are resilient people. We are lucky to still have a strong Aboriginal community amongst us at La Perouse. Many Beast readers are probably unaware that the spirit of our sea country is carried on through our iconic names, interpretations of Aboriginal words including Boondi (Bondi), Cramaramma (Tamarama), Koojah (Coogee) and Merooberah (Maroubra). One of the more remarkable aspects of our Aboriginal past was that there was no congestion. They lived in a quiet peace, something I can only find when snorkelling off a headland or meditating on the beach at midnight. Lessons from our Aboriginal past about living in harmony with nature gives us all something to aspire to. And their Dreamtime stories are of far more interest to my grandchildren than the old Greek ones. Source: For title, place names and inspiration, please have a look at ‘Sydney’s Aboriginal Past’ by Val Attenborough.


Happier times.

A PASSING GRADE Words Alasdair McClintock Picture Cameron Bancroft

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aturday, November 10 – mark the date in your calendar. Hopefully the weather is fine, as potentially the biggest crowd grade cricket has ever seen will descend on Coogee Oval to see two of the world’s best (and most disgraced) cricketers, Steve Smith and Dave Warner, ply their trade amongst the common folk with nary a scrap of sandpaper in sight. Randwick Petersham versus Sutherland has never stuck out so vividly in a sporting calendar. The Randy Petes versus the feebly named Sharks. The local boys are no mugs, but they will be up against it, with the Sharks finishing top four last season - and that was without Steve Smith. Last season counts for nothing, though, as both Smith and Warner could no doubt tell you. This time last year they were preparing for an upcoming Ashes annihilation of the English. I honestly have no idea what I was doing this time last year, but the only English things I’ve annihilated in recent memory were

a couple of Yorkshire puddings, so I can’t really call their journey a ‘fall from grace’, can I? My glasshouse may have been shattered years ago, but that doesn’t mean I can’t aspire to build another one. It does make me wonder what the blokes who choose to spend their best years of Saturdays playing grade cricket think of these so-called ‘punishments’, though. Even the biggest cricket tragic amongst them must have a moment, when he’s standing in the hot sun having just dropped a sitter and copped a spray from a wiry fast bowler and carpenter’s apprentice ten years his junior, where he thinks, “Why the hell am I doing this? Do I hate myself so much that I must self-flagellate with leather and willow every weekend?” It might be a case of one man’s garbage is another’s treasure, but I don’t think that is the case here. I expect there is a part of Messrs Smith and Warner that is loving the spell away from the routine, if not the spotlight, and spending some meaningful time with their

loved ones. When the movie comes out, I wonder who it will be about: the battler from Matraville, who literally bashed his way to the big time only to be villainised for the very behaviour we all embraced in the beginning; or the cricket savant, a man groomed from a young age, like a Russian gymnast, to captain his country and make records tumble quicker than a drunken human pyramid. I would watch either. In fact, I would prefer it to be about both - a sort of Blues Brothers/Raging Bull mash up that has us screaming for more. This phenomenal human drama in cricket is why I think we all love it. The game itself is as dull as a Mormon’s buck’s party, but watching a man’s career and dreams get shattered with one unplayable off-cutter keeps us coming back for more. It’s like a real-life Game of Thrones, except – thanks to the recent crackdown on streaking – without the gratuitous nudity. I’ll see you all down at Coogee. November 2018 | The Beast 65


We find what we’re looking for.

WHAT THE BUTLER SAW… OR THOUGHT HE SAW Words Jeremy Ireland, Psychotherapist Picture John Waddington

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ho remembers the board game Cluedo, the classic murder mystery game where you had to work out who murdered the victim? Each player was a detective, sifting through the various clues to work out who the killer was. Was it Mrs White with the revolver in the library or was it Reverend Green with the knife in the kitchen? My go to perpetrator was always Colonel Mustard. Never Miss Scarlet, though; she’s way too hot to be a killer, or so my adolescent mind would reason. With a name like ‘Mustard’ it had to be him, probably with the lead pipe in the billiard room. The truth is, even if the game was real-life and I actually did see Colonel Mustard kill someone with a lead pipe in the billiard room, could I be relied upon to provide an accurate eyewitness report and convince a jury in a court of law? An eyewitness identification is very powerful to a jury, especially if I came across as clear, confident and articulate. But would my testament be enough to put Colonel Mustard away for good? Well, there are many reasons why the Colonel might live to see another day away from the confines of a prison cell. Perhaps the number one reason is our memory. How 66 The Beast | November 2018

accurately do we recall the events we saw? Eyewitnesses are not perfect and are prone to be swayed by certain personal and situational factors, and above that, we as humans tend to perceive and remember things in a selective manner. Each of us interprets the world around us slightly differently, perceiving and sensing things based on our personality, attitudes, beliefs and culture. We see and do not see things because of this. As a result, what Mrs White ‘saw’ in the ballroom could differ from that which Mrs Peacock saw due to such selective perception. We also have a tendency to be selective with our attention and exposure by placing ourselves in situations that reinforce our attitudes, beliefs, values and behaviours. It might be fair to say that Reverend Greens’ beliefs and values could differ from those of Professor Plum, meaning their statements on what they saw could differ. But surely a fact is a fact, I hear you say, and indeed you are right. However, it is how we recall such a fact from our memory that is of most importance. This selective recall is an unconscious process whereby we tend to remember the things we want to remember and suppress things that are unpleasant, uncomfortable or just unimportant to us.

Here’s more food for thought. Let’s say for the sake of the exercise that our accused actually is the Colonel on a charge for murder using a lead pipe in the billiard room. Our lawyer has our witness, Miss Scarlet, in the stand. The language the lawyer chooses when questioning Miss Scarlet can have a huge effect on what memories she recalls and the level of meaning for such memories. For example, when describing how the Colonel killed his victim, if we say “violently clubbed to death” rather than “softly tapped on the temple”, the former description will invoke different memory recall for the witness than the latter. Leading questions can also change what our witness recalls. The difference between questions beginning “Did you see a…” and “Did you see the…” is subtle but powerful in getting a different response. And what if our witness is a child? Research by the Australian Law Reform Commission shows that children as witnesses can certainly hold up, however, they are more prone to memory loss with the passing of time than adults. Children recall less correct information over time while maintaining as a constant the inaccurate information. Further, children are more vulnerable to suggestion, otherwise known as the ‘suggestibility effect’, where a certain memory or recollection of the original event becomes distorted or replaced after being exposed to post event information. Additionally, to avoid punishment or to avoid revealing embarrassing information, most children will deny knowing information about an event that they know occurred. So back to Colonel Mustard. Well, he’s not off the hook yet. Mistaken identity and wrongful arrest as a result of it are more common than you expect. Bad news for the Colonel, perhaps, though in recent times DNA testing may seal his fate. Either way, may he take heed of the words of C.S Lewis: “What you see and what you hear depends a good deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.”


Self-regulation.

TEENAGERS AND SLEEPOVERS Words Matty Silver, Sex Therapist Picture Thought Catalog

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hat will you do when your teenage daughter or son asks you if they are allowed to have their boyfriend or girlfriend stay the night? Many parents have asked for my opinion over the years as most of them find it really difficult to talk to their children about sex. Attitudes can vary widely depending on nationality. I grew up in the Netherlands, a country that has a very relaxed attitude. Two-thirds of Dutch parents allow their 16 and 17 year-old children to sleep with their partners in their homes. Dutch parents’ stance on teen sex was compared with that of American parents in a survey, Sex, Love and Autonomy in the Teen-age Sleepover, conducted in 2003 by Amy Schalet, who was born in the US but grew up in the Netherlands. Schalet is now associate professor of sociology at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and the author of Not Under My Roof: Parents, Teens and the Culture of Sex. The book offers an “intimate account of the different ways that boys and girls in two different countries negotiate sex, love and growing up”.

The differences between the cultures, and between the parenting styles in each country, are many, but one of the most important is the attitude towards sex. Dutch parents tend to downplay the dangerous and difficult sides of teenage sexuality; they normalise it. They believe in a process of becoming physically and emotionally ready for sex and that young people can self-regulate if they are encouraged to pace themselves and prepare adequately. Unlike American parents, who are often sceptical about teenagers’ capacities to fall in love, Dutch parents assume that teenagers can. They permit sleepovers, even if that requires an adjustment period to overcome their feelings of discomfort, because they feel obliged to stay connected and accepting as sex becomes part of their children's lives. Teenagers in the Netherlands tend to wait longer before having sex, have fewer partners and use easily-acquired birth control consistently and correctly, resulting in much lower rates of teen pregnancy and abortions. The main reason for this is that

the country has a liberal attitude towards sex, and teen sex education is based on an assumption that young people are curious about sexuality and have a right to accurate and comprehensive information. Unlike in Australia, sex education is compulsory. The Dutch philosophy is a simple one: young people have the right to adequate sex education so that they can make well-informed choices in sexuality and relationships. The leading message is this: If you are going to have sex, do it safely. In Australia, school sex education is lagging very much behind. Unfortunately religious and conservative groups believe that talking about puberty and sex is “best done by family”. It would be great if parents could sit down with their children and discuss sex-related issues, but most parents are ill-equipped to do that; they feel uncomfortable and embarrassed and they don’t really have the knowledge, either. Things have changed a lot since they were young. Maybe it’s time Australia rethought its position on sex education. It is 2018, after all. November 2018 | The Beast 67


Pretty up your patch - Nasturtiums are easy to grow and come in a range of different flower colours (yellow, orange and red). They make a great spillover plant in a pot next to your veggie patch. Plus, the flowers and leaves are edible and are attractive (slightly peppery) additions to salads. Chamomile plants provide pretty ground cover, plus you can also use the flowers for tea – just pick, dry and add water! Did someone say borage? - Borage (a.k.a. star flower, bee bush) is a top companion plant in the garden. It grows well next to strawberry plants and is said to make them grow stronger, healthier and produce tastier fruit. Bees love their edible violet flowers, and they make a delicious and pretty garnish. Time to get your hands dirty.

GROWING YOUR OWN: THE DIRTY SECRETS OF EDIBLE PLANTS Words Nicola Saltman with Jessica Brewster, 3-Council Environment Program

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t’s that time of the year when the green thumbs (and wannabes) among us roll up the sleeves, grab the trowel, sprinkle the compost and get planting. From balcony pots to garden plots, spring means sowing and growing! This month we asked local veggie garden enthusiast Jessica Brewster for the lowdown on what’s hot to grow now, plus she has dished the dirt on a few tricks, tips and little-known facts about your edibles. GOOD TO GROW ‘Tis the season for basil, beans, beetroot, borage, cabbage, calendula, capsicum, carrots, celery, chamomile, chilli, chives, corn, cucumber, eggplant, fennel, leek, lettuce, marigold, nasturtium, pak choi, snow peas, pumpkin, pyrethrum, radish, rocket, silverbeet, rainbow chard, spring onion, sunflowers, thyme, tomatoes, watermelon, zucchini. 68 The Beast | November 2018

TIPS, TRICKS AND FUN FACTS For tomato lovers - Full size tomatoes are notoriously difficult to grow here due to the pesky Queensland fruit fly. Small brown spots on your fruit are a telltale sign that they’ve been affected. Plant them now and harvest early to avoid the summer swarms, or try growing cherry tomatoes instead. Happy together: corn, zucchini and climbing beans - Known as ‘The Three Sisters’ planting technique, these plants grow well when planted together. The corn provides support for the beans to climb as they grow. The zucchini acts as ground cover and a living mulch, keeping the soil moist and preventing weeds from growing. The beans add nitrogen (fertiliser) to the soil for the benefit of the corn and zucchini plants. Winwin-win.

Natural insect repellents - Pyrethrum plants on the borders of your veggie patch can help repel insect pests, aphids and spider mites. You can also dry, ground and mix the flowers with water to make insecticide. Adding land cress to your patch can help deter larvae of diamondback moth and large cabbage moth from eating your edibles. GROW IT LOCAL Connect with other local growers, and share and showcase what you grow and know with the launch of Grow It Local this month in the Eastern Suburbs - both online and face-to-face. A celebration of backyard, balcony, community and windowsill farmers, this initiative has been conceived by the team behind the award-winning Garage Sale Trail. Foundation partners include the Myer Foundation, with Waverley, Randwick and Woollahra Councils. Put your patch on the map and start sharing at www.growitlocal.com. Join in the Weekend Walkaround on November 24 and 25 to check other local patches or show off your own.


I demand uncrowded perfection.

I DEMAND ON DEMAND Satire Kieran Blake Picture Al Merrick

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he enormous success of On Demand public transport services to the Eastern Suburbs has prompted the NSW Government to extend On Demand services to other spheres of life. Local residents will soon be blessed with On Demand light rail, NBN, teenagers, weather and surf, all through the iMDemanding app. “The outstanding Sydney public transport network provides the basis for this new suite of On Demand services,” boasted a NSW Government spokesperson. “The OnDemand buses in the Eastern Suburbs are expected to be as efficient and reliable as our existing public transport services and, with that in mind, we are very excited to announce the release of a broad range of new On Demand services available to everyone at the touch of a button.” The spokesperson then outlined the services to be included in the app: ON DEMAND LIGHT RAIL An environmentally-friendly, cost effective alternative transport service, delivered on time and on budget, with minimal disruption to residents.

ON DEMAND NBN A reliable, functioning, wellmanaged, accessible high-speed internet service, usually found only in wealthy, industrialised, technologically-advanced nations blessed with an abundance of resources and the requisite intellectual capital. ON DEMAND TEENAGERS New model teenagers, more technologically advanced than previous models, who will clean their rooms, switch off their phones, show gratitude, do chores, read a book, converse in full sentences and do their homework, as well as accepting that their academic failure was the result of their laziness and insolence and not the tireless efforts of their overworked and underpaid teachers. ON DEMAND WEATHER The ultimate solution to the drought in NSW. On Demand rain, for a specified duration. Localised weather patterns bring rain to exactly where it is wanted, such as your garden, your lawn or the holiday house down the coast. Advanced settings can direct rain to fall without touching the clothes-

line. Conversely, sun can also be ordered for a wedding or other special occasion, as can onshore winds for the perfect sundowner in summer. Offshore winds can also be programmed for the ultimate feature of the iMDemanding app, On Demand surf. ON DEMAND SURF The perfect wave. Users can order barrels or fat, spilling waves, small playful waves or double overhead bombs, left or right handers, at any time on any of the Eastern Beaches. What’s more, VIP members are guaranteed priority and Gold VIP members can simply make other surfers vaporise. “You, just a few mates and perfect waves,” beamed the spokesperson. “Kelly might have created the perfect wave, and the Bra Boys can allegedly make surfers disappear, but only the iMDemanding app can do both.” All of the services mentioned above will soon be available on the iMDemanding app, which is set for release later this month and can be accessed while waiting for the bus. November 2018 | The Beast 69


THE TRUE COLOURS OF BANGKOK Words and Pictures The Bondi Travel Bug

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ycling down a suburban back street of Bangkok with four other bike enthusiasts on a humid morning without any other tourists in sight is something I never thought I’d be doing, but there I was wondering how I’d survive the day’s crazy little adventure. If you look up the top attractions or things to do in Bangkok, back street bike riding tours are definitely not on top of the list. I’d always wanted to do a Bangkok pushbike tour, but I never envisaged I’d complete it in one piece. Given it’s one of the most populated and busiest cities in the world, I couldn't imagine where a pushbike tour could possibly take us without seriously jeopardising our safety. While researching tours and itineraries, my ears pricked up at one particular tour’s bold headline. ‘The Colours of Bangkok’ tour promised we’d see parts of Bangkok that tourists typically wouldn’t visit, that we’d ride through narrow laned neighbourhoods, stop off at a kindergarten that relies on donations from the tour company to keep its doors open, and take in river crossings and a green part of Bangkok that I had no idea existed. A few minutes into the fivehour tour, our guide, four other riders and I were stuck in morning peak hour traffic on a busy Bangkok main road and I was thinking that ‘The Colours of Bangkok’ bike tour was actually quite crap. It certainly wasn’t living up to its bold marketing. It was more like the ‘Unimpressive Colours of a Million Cars and the Taste of Exhaust Emissions’ tour! I was cursing to myself as we hugged the gutters and was grateful that it was peak hour and the cars had slowed down to a standstill. After 10 minutes of moving at snail’s pace we made a left hand turn detour and instantly found ourselves in the backstreet bowels of Bangkok. Things were finally 70 The Beast | November 2018

getting interesting. We were soon riding down an empty narrow street that looked like an abandoned housing estate that had never been completed. The only sign of life was one little disheveled food stall and its elderly owner waiting for her first customer of the day. The road quickly turned into a dirt track, which we pedalled along until we entered what appeared to be an abandoned underground train walkway. We cycled onwards and five minutes later emerged back out into the sunlight before riding on through one of Bangkok’s poorer neighbourhoods. It was interesting to witness the living conditions, and this Westerner certainly felt a long way from Sydney. The path we were riding on was barely wide enough for our bikes to navigate - the homes were so close together you’d be able to hear your neighbour’s moths fluttering around a lightbulb. Inside, tiny little dilapidated rooms are home to multigenerational families who all cram in together. Outdoor kitchens with meat sitting uncovered in the Thai heat and humidity made me shudder a little as my stomach did backflips thinking of the origins of the street food I’d no doubt indulge in later in the night. What was extremely noticeable in these parts of town is that while the people are very poor here, they’re still incredibly friendly everybody we passed welcomed us with smiles and a friendly Thai greeting of sawadee khrup (hello). Along one of the tiny laneways we stopped to visit a local kindergarten, where dozens of little kids greeted us with happy faces and waves as the teachers got them singing and exercising. Seeing so many gorgeous children smiling as one gave me hope that this was the beginning of a bright future for them. After getting off our bikes to walk for a while in order to squeeze

through the exceptionally narrow lanes, we were soon back in the saddle riding towards what the brochures described as the ‘green lungs of the city’. To get to this hidden oasis, we first had to negotiate the magnificent Chao Phraya River. Our transport across - which I’d describe as a rickety, long, narrow, unstable wooden canoe (known as a long-tail boat) - looked like a death trap, but once we were on board with our bikes it was a relatively safe and comfortable journey. For the next couple of hours our bike ride saw us head to wider tree-lined streets with minimal traffic and narrow raised pathways shaded by coconut palms and banana trees. The ride was exciting, and although I was carrying excess weight due to my gluttonous love for Thai food (especially sticky rice with mango) and hampered by a crook knee, I was still able to keep up comfortably with everyone thanks to the flat terrain and comfortable pace. We rode past a giant golden Buddha and numerous Buddhist temples before continuing on to a wonderfully serene park and lake where we fed some of the largest carp I have ever seen and snacked on arguably the best Pad Thai I have ever eaten. As we slowly made our way back via the river to where we started our journey, I had time to reflect on the most unexpected and surprisingly adventurous pushbike tour of one of Asia’s craziest cities. I doubt there’s a better way to experience Bangkok’s true colours. Bicycle Tour Bangkok Biking/ Colours of Bangkok +66 (0) 2 107 2500 How to get there Vicky Gilden at Rose Bay Travel (02) 9371 8166


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TK

20.88

PAINTED 210

20.81

BOUNDARY FACADE TO BE REFRESHED AND

EXISTING CHIMNEY TO BE RETAINED AND PROTECTED DURING 6,910 CONSTRUCTION. 7,330

NEW FILL WALL TO MATCH EXISTING

20.85

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1,590 7,871

GUTTER 24.22

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GUTTER2 3.43 GUTTER 23.31

BED 02

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20.24 20.27

1,800 1,120

SKILLIONROOF

F.L. 21.19

20.06

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210 20.10

20.02

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15.225 BOUNDARY

2,173

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- LEVELS SHOWN ARE OBTAINED FROM INITIAL SITE WORKS SURVEY BY SYDNEY SURVEYORS PTY LTD.

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(02) 9181 2820 info@planshop.com.au planshop.com.au LEGEND

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SUBJECT Tracks LOCATION Bondi PHOTOGRAPHER Matt Hakl INSTA @haklography

SUBJECT Beams LOCATION Bronte PHOTOGRAPHER Sam Frisby INSTA @_chance_the_snapper

SUBJECT Singing wren LOCATION Centennial Park PHOTOGRAPHER Juan Rojas

SUBJECT Mine! LOCATION Bronte PHOTOGRAPHER M. Santillan INSTA @marielasantillan_

SUBJECT Twin palms LOCATION Centennial Park PHOTOGRAPHER Jacqueline Somosi

The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!


SUBJECT Shady LOCATION Bondi PHOTOGRAPHER Sam Daniels

SUBJECT Point of view LOCATION Bondi PHOTOGRAPHER Matt Hakl INSTA @haklography

SUBJECT Ben the male model LOCATION Randwick PHOTOGRAPHER Juan Rojas

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Please send them to photos@thebeast.com.au


Crispy chicken goodness.

OLD HAUNT’S NEW MENU MAKING WAVES Words Siriol Dafydd Instagram @sirioldafyddwriter Picture Aya Larkin

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f you’ve spent more than three minutes in Bondi, you’ll need no introduction to Hotel Ravesis. A long-standing fixture amongst the popular and plentiful beachfront watering holes, its facade (situated on the corner of Hall Street and Campbell Parade) is as much a part of Bondi’s character as the beach itself. So you know where it is, and you know it’s a great place to gather with your pals for some drinks overlooking the beach on a sunny day, but did you know it’s recently undergone a full menu overhaul? Designed by head chef Peter Streckfuss, this fresh and fabulous menu offers a broad range of mouth-watering delicacies, with many of the ingredients prepared from scratch in-house. There are a fair few dishes to choose from - far more than one person can eat in one sitting, even a permanently hungry grubvacuum such as myself. Thankfully, Chef Peter was on hand to pick 76 The Beast | November 2018

out a few ‘heroes’ for me to try. Let’s start, as I did, with the gruyère and potato croquettes. Served with zucchinis pickled in-house and a delightful parsley aioli, they were a sensational start to the meal. In fact, I would have been happy with a steady supply of these little balls of heaven and nothing else for the entire sitting. Fortunately, I quickly learned that these were just the tip of a very tasty iceberg. Next up was a beautifully thick slice of grilled haloumi complete with a light and flavoursome chimichurri sauce, followed by a wonderfully creamy lobster concoction served in toasted brioche bread. After that I was given a taste of the open crab lasagne, a generous serving of blue-swimmer crab nestled in freshly rolled pasta (a fresh batch of which is prepared daily on site). This was a personal favourite of mine. I’ll admit by this point my stomach had probably received an adequate amount of food, but as

the dishes kept coming, beautifully presented and filling the room with their tantalising aromas, I simply couldn’t help but keep eating. I mean, it would’ve been rude not to! The fattoush salad featured a healthy supply of burrata (very similar to mozzarella) accompanied by fresh tomatoes, onions and za’atar crisps (which I can best describe by comparing them to crispy rosemary flatbread). And finally, the crispy chicken was wonderfully succulent and came accompanied by a salad of cucumber, rocket, zucchini, pickle, as well as flat bread and a garlic dip. It was a fantastic addition to an already flavoursome and varied selection of dishes. There are plenty of other options on this eclectic menu, from the easy-to-share tapas style treats to the more traditional a la carte dishes – there really is something to suit every taste. Personally, when I go back there for my next feed I’ll be trying the chocolate wattleseed fondant, which is served with caramel sauce and vanilla ice-cream (I’m literally drooling as I write this). The venue itself boasts wonderful views of the iconic Bondi Beach, which is great for locals and visitors alike. As one of Bondi’s larger venues, it caters well for big groups but is also family friendly with plenty of space for prams and all the other paraphernalia that comes with parenthood. So next time you’re in Bondi and debating where to eat, pop in to Hotel Ravesis for a fresh, flavoursome and filling feed! Hotel Ravesis www.hotelravesis.com Address 118 Campbell Pde, Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Facebook Hotel Ravesis Instagram @hotelravesis Phone 9365 4422 Open Mon-Sat 11am-1am; Sunday 11am-12am Prices $6.50-$32.00 Cards Accepted Yes, everything Licensed Yes (Hotel license)


There is a god.

HEALTHY MANGO ICE-BLOCKS Recipe Catherine Noonan Picture Matt Bowen

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ew fruits are as synonymous with summer as mangoes, in particular the good old Bowen variety, which grow in many a Queensland backyard and are available in abundance from September through to March. Bowen mangoes range in colour from green to yellow on the outside with a deep orange coloured flesh that is delicately soft to touch and fragrant when ripe. If you think you've never seen a Bowen mango, think again. This variety is more commonly identified as Kensington Pride by commercial growers and retailers. They were first discovered in the northern Queensland town of Bowen when British Army traders gifted mangoes and spices to wellto-do locals. The best seeds were planted and a successful crop at a property named Kensington gave birth to the distinctive new variety. The most recent season produced a whopping 10.7 million trays, thanks in part to improved technology in production and Australia's vigilant biosecurity

measures. As for us consumers down here in Sydney, we can only hope that the weather stays kind for another cracking Aussie mango season with healthy returns for the growers and competitive prices and an abundant supply for us to enjoy. Mangoes are already satisfyingly affordable, and to make them go that bit further I've taken to blending mine into delicious ice-blocks for my children. It's either one fresh mango per child, which can get pretty expensive, or blend and freeze them into ice-blocks, which equates to approximately one mango per three or four popsicle moulds - now that's an economical way to keep the kids happy! TOOLS Blender 10 capacity ice-block mould with sticks INGREDIENTS 3 Kensington Pride (Bowen) mangoes Âź large avocado (to add an

element of creaminess to the iceblocks) 2 Medjool dates, pitted ½ vanilla bean, scraped METHOD 1. Peel and slice the mangoes; 2. Place the mango flesh in the blender; 3. Add the avocado, pitted dates and scraped vanilla bean seeds; 4. Turn the blender onto high speed and blitz the mixture until completely smooth; 5. Pour the mixture into the popsicle mould and transfer to the freezer; 6. Allow to set overnight and keep frozen until required. Cath Noonan is a self-confessed health-foodie, recipe creator, and nutrition student, as well as the founder of healthy food blog, I Heart Scratch. Check out the delicious food pics on her Instagram account, @i_heart_scratch, and find more recipes by visiting www.iheartscratch.com.au. November 2018 | The Beast 77


Christian Canute of Rusden Wines.

RUSDEN WINES – A DROP TO REMEMBER Words Alex Russell Twitter @ozwineguy Picture Mike Smith

R

ecently a neighbour of mine had a party. One lady brought wine from her dad’s vineyard, with no label. She found out that I was a wine guy, so she asked me to taste it and see what I thought. Now you can believe me or not, but I tasted the wine and immediately knew who the winemaker was – Christian Canute of Rusden Wines. I asked her if he’d made the wine and as it turns out I was right. I tell this story partially to blow my own horn, because it was pretty bloody cool to be able to pick the winemaker just from the flavour. But I’ll come clean here - I’d never be able to do this with another winemaker. Christian makes a very particular style of wine, and it’s a style I know well because I love it. I’m not alone. When I worked in retail, a customer came in on Father’s Day to buy something for his dad. I sold him a bottle of Rusden ‘Ripper Creek’ (their Shiraz/Cabernet blend, $30 direct). An hour or so later, the dad came into the shop holding the empty bottle, raving about it, and bought

78 The Beast | November 2018

three dozen on the spot. And an ex-colleague described them as the best wines he tasted all year. These wines are magnificent, and they’ve also been reduced in price a bit over the last few years. Plus, if you get on their mailing list (go to www.rusdenwines.com. au) you’ll be emailed specials from time to time. The ‘Ripper Creek’, mentioned above, is their signature Shiraz/ Cabernet. A typical Australian blend, it is also made in the typical Rusden style, with a unique element to it that jumped out at me at that party. If you want to see if Rusden Wines will be your thing, this is definitely the drop to start with. That said, the one that I have a special relationship with is the ‘Chookshed’ ($49). It is the wine I chose to celebrate my 30th birthday. It’s made from a grape named Zinfandel. Most people don’t know this grape, but if you do, you’ll probably be thinking of American sweet rosés. This is nothing like that. This wine is

big, thick, rich and complex, with notable hints of vanilla, cedar and spices. If you like your big reds, this will knock your socks off. And then there are a bunch of other interesting reds - a Malbec (‘Good Shepherd’, $38), a Grenache (‘Christine’s Vineyard’, $49) and even a Mataro (‘Full Circle’, $49). Move up from there and you hit the ‘Boundaries’ Cabernet ($65) and the ‘Black Guts’ Shiraz ($85), along with the super premium ‘Sandscrub’ ($390 per bottle). All are stunning. Make sure you mix up a range of wines when you buy. And don’t forget the other end of the scale. The ‘Driftsand’ Grenache/Shiraz/Mataro ($22) is perfect for everyday drinking with that unmissable Rusden style, and you’ll even find a white called the ‘Christian’ (Chenin Blanc, $28), which is an incredibly textural wine that I can never get enough of. So do yourself a favour and order half a dozen mixed Rusden drops. They are quite the experience – unforgettable, you might say.


BROCKHAMPTON iridescence Label RCA Records Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Like a man with an erection in Speedos, BROCKHAMPTON is right up in your face. I’ve mostly been annoyed by contemporary hip hop’s obsession with capitalising everything, but with BROCKHAMPTON it kind of makes sense; their music is so high energy it’s like they are yelling the whole time. Don’t let that put you off, though. It’s good. Very good. With fourteen members, there are so many different influences and voices it can all be a bit confusing at times, but it’s a hell of a ride, that’s for sure. Album of the year? Quite possibly.

THUNDAMENTALS I Love Songs

FILM REVIEW TITLE Ghost Stories GENRE Drama Horror REVIEWER Linda Heller-Salvador

T

hings are not always as they seem in Ghost Stories, a dark and quirky psychological drama/ horror that has been adapted for screen by multitalented duo Jeremy Dyson (The League Of Gentlemen) and Andy Nyman (Death At A Funeral) from their popular stage play of the same name. Having cut their scriptwriting teeth in TV, their first feature film as screenwriters is an intriguing and atmospheric homage to 1960s and ‘70s creepy British horror shows like the original Tales From The Crypt. Co-written and directed by Dyson and Nyman, Ghost Stories tells the story of the sceptical paranormal investigator, television presenter and psychic debunker Professor Phillip Goodman (Andy Nyman) as he attempts to find a rational explanation for three mysterious supernatural occurrences that have remained unresolved for 15 years. As the surreal stories eventually merge, reality dissolves into a conclusion that is as bizarre and twisted as it is disturbing. The usual horror tropes of unseen sounds, creaky doors and flickering faulty lighting that Dyson and Nyman utilise may appear to be clichéd, but they are presented in such a hauntingly stylish manner, with a subtle dose of black humour, that it doesn’t even matter. In Ghost Stories things really do go bump in the night! 80 The Beast | November 2018

Label Universal Music Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  I was in a pretty bad mood when I listened to I Love Songs for the first time, which can often lead to a bad review - yeah, I’m that petty, what of it? - but just three songs in and I was jigging like a low energy homeless man, drunk on cheap vodka. Thundamentals punch out albums like Australia punches out prime ministers, so some of their tracks can feel a little formulaic, but there are always a few gems amongst the pebbles. I Miss You could be my favourite song of the year. I’ll let the dust settle a bit before I confirm that, though.

SKEGSS My Own Mess Label Warner Music Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  My fear that Skegss were just another Dune Rats re-hash was put to bed early in My Own Mess. Where Dune Rats remind me of teenage ratbags full of bongs and Killer Pythons, Skegss have a depth that belies their grommet looks. These aren’t the little brats that drop-in on you because they know you’re not the type to beat on them (my stern looks have been getting me nowhere with the punks at Maroubra), they’ll politely wait their turn and ponder some of life’s great mysteries while looking upon the horizon. Put this high on your summer arvo barbecue playlist.


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DOWN 1. Deceased singer with the hit Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Baby (5,5) 2. Medium that music is released on (6) 3. Spherical object (3) 4. Irish singer who sang Sail Away (4) 6. Beatles album, ... Road (5) 7. Beethoven’s first name (6) 8. Gradual increase in volume of music (9) 11. Tenacious D song that wasn’t the best one in the world (7) 12. ... Against the Machine (4) 14. A big piano (5) 16. Relating to the ear (4) 18. Musical Les ... (colloq.) (3)

TRIVIAL TRIVIA Words Cameron Anderson Picture Melody Mahoney Instagram @melodyspics 1. Which French fashion label created an indoor beach scene for the 2018 Paris Fashion Week? 2. What is the state floral emblem for NSW? 3. Who won the female US Open tennis singles title in 2018? 4. What is the colloquial term for a person who imitates someone

else in an online relationship? 5. Who is playing the Joker in the Joker film scheduled to be released next year? 6. Who received the Clive Churchill Medal in this year’s NRL grand final? 7. Who is the current Prime Minister of Australia?

8. Up until 2011, there was only one country whose flag consisted of only one colour; which country was this? 9. Which American author wrote the crime fiction thriller The Woman in the Window? 10. What is the name of Taylor Swift’s 2017 album?

Setting up. November 2018 | The Beast 81


CAPRICORN DEC 22-JAN 20 Being an arsehole and making people feel like shit is not a good long-term strategy to deal with your insecurities.

GEMINI MAY 22-JUN 21 Start planning your Christmas shopping now so as to avoid the debacle that occurred last year, which you still haven’t been forgiven for.

AQUARIUS JAN 21-FEB 19 You can’t be held accountable for a bad decision that you didn’t make, so outsource any important calls to someone else.

CANCER JUN 22-JUL 22 Despite your belief that you’re irreplaceable at work, things will run just as well if you’re not there, so chuck a sickie and don’t feel guilty.

PISCES FEB 20-MAR 20 We know that you’re anxious and a bit lost at the moment, but you’re not going to find the meaning of life staring into your phone.

LEO JUL 23-AUG 22 You will receive an infringement notice for something so grossly unfair that you’ll spend the rest of the month plotting sweet revenge.

SCORPIO OCT 24-NOV 22 White-anting any threat to your dominance is an effective and nonconfrontational way of maintaining power, and you’re bloody good at it.

ARIES MAR 21-APR 20 An embarrassing situation will arise when you get caught red handed touching your genitals and sniffing your crusty fingers.

VIRGO AUG 23-SEP 23 Enough of the pissweak excuses. It’s not about having time, it’s about making time. The excuses will always be there but the opportunities won’t.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 23-DEC 21 When you begin to lose your patience with someone, just remember how patient everyone has always been with you.

TAURUS APR 21-MAY 21 Why on earth would you go and see a fully qualified doctor for free when you can pay $200 to see a self-proclaimed ‘energy healer’?

LIBRA SEP 24-OCT 23 An unexpected windfall gain will quickly vanish when you find yourself in the polly waffle snorting devil’s dandruff off a prossie’s bolt-ons.

STAR SIGNS Words Beardy from Hell

TRIVIAL TRIVIA SOLUTIONS 1. Chanel 2. Waratah 3. Naomi Osaka 4. Catfish 5. Joaquin Phoenix 6. Luke Keary 7. Scott Morrison 8. Libya (all green until 2011) 9. A. J. Finn 10. Reputation

Fine Dining

Indian Restaurant

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www.theclove.com.au

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Open 7 days

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FULLY AIR CONDITIONED WE ARE NOT LICENSED.

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available for Party, Function up to 150 people

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B.Y.O. only

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FREE EVENT

Best Gift Market Sunday 25 November

Calling local artisans and designers!

9am-3pm

We’re bringing together local artisans, creatives, home-crafters and designers to establish the Best Gift Christmas Market.

Alison Park 194 Alison Road Randwick

If you, or someone you know, would like to display your wares at this market, please contact us. The Best Gift Christmas Market focuses on locally made, original, high quality and environmentally responsible gifts for Christmas.

1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au


CHRISTMAS PARTIES Book your work lunch, stand up canapĂŠ function or dinner at the Charing Cross Hotel this Christmas. Contact Danielle: drink@charingcrosshotel.com.au

A variety of private dining rooms, bar spaces and outdoor areas available.

81 Carrington Road, Waverley | Ph: 9389 3093 @charingcrosshotel | www.charingcrosshotel.com.au

Profile for The Beast

The Beast - November 2018  

The November 2018 edition of The Beast featuring Barry Du Bois...

The Beast - November 2018  

The November 2018 edition of The Beast featuring Barry Du Bois...

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