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November 2016

Splashing and Dashing






elcome to the November 2016 edition of The Beast – the monthly magazine for Sydney’s Beaches of the East. It has been a hectic yet amazing month, thanks largely to the birth of Dan’s gorgeous little daughter, Delilah Rose Hutton, the latest addition to The Beast family. While one half of this formidable team has been elbows deep in dirty nappies, we’re sure you’ve been enjoying all the awesome stuff that’s been happening in the local area – if you haven’t checked out Sculpture by the Sea yet, you better get in quick! This month starts off with a bang, as Melbourne Cup Day falls on November 1. Best of luck to you all in your annual office Cup sweepstake – here’s hoping you beat bloody Greg from accounting. How does he always end up with the winning ticket?

On November 19, the Bondi Splash n’ Dash gets underway again. The brainchild of this month’s cover star, Andrew ‘Reidy’ Reid, the event is not only a fun physical challenge, it also raises money for WAYS Youth Services.

Aside from our interview with Reidy (which is a must read – the bloke is a legend!), we’ve also got a whole bunch of other good newsworthy stuff in this month’s mag.

There are articles about the future of the Bronte RSL site, the Sydney White Ribbon Walk (which will be taking place on the morning of November 25 in Randwick), The Beast’s new photography competition that we are presenting on behalf of the good folk from Bronte design agency WHTVR, the approach of Eastern Suburbs schools to LGBTQI awareness and the so-called Safe Schools Coalition, and a piece about a couple of very talented young local hockey players who have been picked to play for Australia. As always, we hope you have a fulfilling and life-affirming month. The sun is heating up and the water’s getting warmer, so enjoy the fact that you live in the most beautiful place on Earth. Dan and James Publishers

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06 Welcome Note

62 Rupert’s Rant

78 Sexy Time

12 Monthly Mailbag

64 Fish ‘n’ Tips

82 Local Photos II

10 Pearls of Wisdom 24 Thumbs & Dogs 26 Local Faves 30 Local News 31 Beastpop I 50 Calendar

52 Interview

60 Local Photos I

Taste of summer, by Brendan Robbins.

63 Beastpop II 65 Tide Chart

66 Aquatic Wildlife 68 Street Style

70 Unreliable Guide 72 Enviro News 74 QTips

76 Travel Bug

80 This Sporting Life 84 Bandage 86 Reviews

87 Arts Bits

88 Food & Wine

96 Trivial Trivia

98 Beardy From Hell 98 Trivia Solutions

“Bless all you self-interested hypocrites of the east.”

THE HAPPINESS TREND Words Pearl Bullivant Picture Andrew Olah


emember the ‘Happiness Trend’? The trend promulgated by the Dalai Lama, which was quickly adopted and manipulated by Eastern Suburbites to validate the purchase of luxury items and showy displays of conspicuous consumption under the banners of ‘you deserve it’ and ‘live the dream’? The trend which exhorted stressed-out rich tossers to be mindful by adopting ‘thoughtful luxury’, doing yoga (while clothed in the altruistic Lululemon) and playing at being weekend hippies before climbing back behind the wheel of the double-parked Range Rover, mobile phone at ear and a spoonful of chia quinoa at mouth? As with all middle class phenomena, the Happiness Trend quickly became oh so passé and ‘last year’. How many Dalai Lama visitations can one seriously be expected to sit through, especially when you’ve eliminated all factors in your life that led to suffering (walking), and cultivated factors that lead to happiness (an Apple Watch)? As such, the Happiness Trend underwent a ‘cultural shift’, morphing into its natural

10 The Beast | November 2016

extension: the ‘Gratitude Trend’. The Gratitude Trend saw jaded, possession-weary Eastern Suburbites momentarily discard their iPhone 5 to take up writing implements to pen their thankfulness in a Kikki-K gratitude diary for all the luxury items and lifestyle opportunities they possessed in the face of economic adversity. Not everyone can own a beachside dwelling, two luxury cars, and a Hermes handbag, and afford to ski in Europe and send the children to a private school, so it became helpful to write it down as a reminder. But like the Happiness Trend, the Gratitude Trend just wasn’t cutting it. Conceived as an antidote to negative emotions (anger and envy at the sight of your neighbour’s new Maserati), unfortunately gratitude became a chore to the Eastern Suburbite, whose natural sense of entitlement left them wondering if there was more to life. As it turns out, there was more to life, and it was found in… the ‘Kindness Trend’. Pearl predicts that the Kindness Trend is one of endurance, one that can be

suitably adapted to the special needs of the affluent, remaining relevant and fresh for years to come. The Kindness Trend exhorts the devotee to forgive themselves for misdeeds, like not picking up dog poo, or double parking. It tells us to ‘walk a mile’ in the shoes of the less fortunate by undertaking token acts like buying second hand designer clothes or setting foot in Auburn, and to ‘wear a smile’ (of smugness) in appreciation of one’s well-earned assets. Most importantly, though, the Kindness Trend can be used in self-defence with the retaliating retort of “Show some kindness!” when an unsympathetic person complains about one’s Range Rover blocking their driveway, objects to one’s ‘dream home’ development application or whinges about one’s unleashed dog. The Kindness Trend was created by two self-centred New Yorkers striving for empathy (from unkind people like Pearl), and since life has become a competition, the Kindness Trend will ensure that the affluent Eastern Suburbite is the ultimate winner.

THE BEAST'S MONTHLY MAILBAG Words The People of the Eastern Suburbs Illustrations Dalton Wills BONDI PAVILION IS FOR THE COMMUNITY I refer to Sidonie Roberts’ letter in the October 2016 Beast regarding the upgrade to the Bondi Pavilion (Bondi Needs Saving From Michael Caton, Letters, The Beast, October 2016). Sidonie states that as a long term Bondi resident, she believes that Bondi Pavilion needs to be “commercially sustainable”. ‘Commercial sustainability’ is Mike Baird’s term du jour. It calls for a public asset to ‘work’ even harder for its keep; that being a facility that the community can rent at an affordable price is no longer acceptable. It is, in fact, a land grab, or in (other) words, a quasi privatisation. The facility must be taken out of public hands and given to a commercial tenant. The community will, however, pay for the very expensive upgrade and will probably never be able to use that facility again. The same argument is currently being used in the Draft Moore Park Master Plan, which, if implemented, will see the commercialisation and alienation of public lands and facilities. How exactly is spending multimillions of public monies on a public facility that will be leased to a commercial tenant good for the community? How many years before that investment is realised? Has a cost-benefit analysis been seen? 12 The Beast | November 2016

As the community rightly argues, the upgrade should be modest and the facility should remain as a community venue, available to rent by the community. If Sidonie really “would love to see the building opened up and used by locals”, then I suggest she gives Michael Caton a call. Maria Bradley Coogee FIGHTING TOGETHER FOR OUR PAVILION ► I'd rather not buy into Sidonie Roberts' diatribe about Michael Caton and his ‘NIMBY’ credentials. For me that isn't the point. Seems a rather vitriolic rant about someone expressing concern for the future of his local community centre, but, whatever. What gets me is the idea that the “muso” buddies of his are so self-interested as to be “up in arms” about the loss of a recording studio. This person has no idea about any of this. Interestingly enough some of the most motivated people in the campaign to preserve Bondi Pavilion as a centre for all the community are these very musicians. They care about more than just the music and recording studios (and I don't think SR quite realises what the destruction of those would mean, but that's another matter). They are not just in it for themselves, but everyone who wants to participate: the artists, potters, martial arts kids, thespians,

old folks, young folks, dancers – oh, and of course people needing to use the all important toilets. Tonight I attended an event called Future Pav: a forum for envisioning the possibilities of the Pavilion. It was about re-invigorating the old girl and re-engaging the community with endless ideas on how enriching, welcoming and great it could be. And it could be. Here’s a funny thing. Sidonie states that she would love to see the building opened up and used by all locals. What a coincidence! That's exactly what those musicians want too. So to say that “this same group of people is now trying to monopolise the Bondi Pavilion and prevent a much-needed upgrade” is rubbish beyond belief. What a preposterous and unfounded claim. The slogan being used by the Save Bondi Pavilion group is ‘Makeover, Not Takeover’. Get it? After years of being allowed (encouraged?) to get run down by Waverley Council, the Pav is sure in need of refurbishing and general maintenance. You think we want to see it slide into the sea from neglect? Clearly not, or there wouldn't be such a fuss over trying to get it right. The community was not consulted properly when this 38 million dollar mess started. That didn't go down too well. People got upset. They are fighting to protect their community and cultural centre from mishandling and lack of vision. Tonight's event brought together people from all walks of cultural and community life. It was like a think tank for our local future. And talk about cooperation. It was exciting to see roughly one hundred people all put their heads together to imagine a better and more inclusive future Pavilion. We're all in this together. Rather than ripping shreds off Michael Caton, I suggest Sidonie goes to the Save Bondi Pavilion Facebook page and checks out how a community fights for its public space together. Tina Harris Bondi

ANOTHER TAKE ON BONDI PAVILION Sidonie Roberts’ denigration of Michael Caton “and his muso buddies” (as she blithely puts it) regarding his public stance on the development of the Bondi Pavilion cannot go unanswered. l’ll attempt to restrict my response to essential points, but that won’t be easy. An upfront disclosure: I know Michael Caton. Does Ms. Roberts think that ‘celebrity’ status necessarily nullifies a resident’s right to express opinion about the community in which they live? Personally, I think it takes guts for a celebrity to stick their well-recognised head above the parapet in support of other local voices, knowing full well there’ll be those who’ll take a shot at them from the safety of their keyboard. It’s not as if Michael Caton is some ‘blow-in’ - he’s lived in Bondi for over 30 years (as have I) and has real connections with the grass-roots community. Ms. Roberts’ sneering “self-appointed Mayor of Bondi” and “embodiment of the Bondi NIMBY” disparagement speaks volumes about her stance. Of course, she is entitled to her opinion, no matter how misguided it might be, but in sporting parlance this is referred to as ‘playing the man’, and makes it difficult to lend empathy to or respect for her views. As for identifying herself as a ‘real’ Bondi person? (Shakes head wryly. Moves on. There’s not enough time…) Ms. Roberts completely misses the mark on why people object to proposals such as the development of the Pavilion, and the Bondi train. It is fallacious and simplistic to label such views as pure NIMBYism. There is very sound reason to be suspicious about the proposed development of the Bondi Pavilion. Few are questioning the need for an upgrade of the Pavilion - on this, Ms. Roberts and I agree. But the manner in which these proposals are being shunted through, and the threat to the existing community assets - including the

available-to-the-public spaces and music facilities, which are so valued by the community and serve with such valid purpose - most certainly warrants suspicion and close scrutiny. Perhaps Ms. Roberts, who has “only visited the Pavilion on occasion”, might consider that there are others in the area - indeed, generations thereof - for whom the Pavilion facilities have held a far more important place in their life. Privatisation of public facilities has an almost inevitable consequence. Ms. Roberts began by evoking Michael Caton’s very public stance against the proposed train link to Bondi in the 1990s. She opines that a train to Bondi Beach would’ve meant that “the social and environmental sustainability of the famous beach destination will be radically improved”. Really? Upon what information does she base this statement?

Ms. Roberts completely misses the mark on why people object to proposals such as the development of the Pavilion, and the Bondi train. I sided with the anti-train lobby at the time, not because I was against a train link per se, but because I vehemently objected to the fatally flawed proposal on offer. Any train line to Bondi should have travelled via a station or stations north-west of the beach area to serve the commuting needs of those in medium-to-high density areas - say, near Old South Head Road/Blair Street, and/or Blair Street/Mitchell Street - terminating at the present North Bondi bus terminus, rather than directly onto the iconic beach. The obviously far cheaper ‘no-stops-direct-fromBondi-Jungle-to-the-beach’ proposal may well have made it easier for people to reach Bondi Beach via rail from elsewhere in Sydney, but most certainly would not have served as an effective commuter

option for the vast majority of people living in the area. How many people live within a one-kilometre radius of a rail station when it is situated on a beach - hence 50 per cent of its ‘catchment’ radius area is under water? I believe these points are what motivated most people in the anti-train lobby. As for the Pavilion, and Ms. Roberts’ assertion that objectors to the proposed changes are doing this to “monopolise” the Pavilion, to “prevent a much-needed upgrade” (in fact, most people agree there should be an upgrade, but object to the proposed plan), or so that the Pavilion can be “controlled by a self-motivated famous few” - is she serious? Does she really think that a 73 year-old local and his “muso buddies” have one iota of vested interest in the Pavilion other than its ongoing facility to the local community? Does she really think that high-profile objectors are lending their celebrity to this movement in order to ‘control’ the Pavilion? To impose some personal fiefdom upon a public asset? Please… My concern - and I imagine that of the many other community members, celebrity or otherwise, who are questioning the proposed development - is not merely for how I perceive these changes will affect me in the here-and-now, it is for the future of the community assets of the Pavilion and my beloved Bondi. It’s a fairly safe bet that I - or Michael Caton - will not be around in 20 years from now to see the impact that the Pavilion’s community facilities - or lack thereof - have on those in our community who need them the most, but if we stand back and do nothing now, future generations may rightly curse us. Paul Johnstone Bondi DOG MAUL AT QUEENS PARK I am a 14-year-old girl and on June 30 I saw something that I should have never seen. My dad and I were getting grass for our guinea pigs when all of a sudden I saw a man yell out to a woman, "Pick up

your dog." The lady picked up her Chihuahua as two Pit Bulls bolted over to her. As instructed, she was holding the dog in the air, but one of the bigger dogs jumped up and grabbed onto the ladies arm and pulled her down to the ground. The owner eventually got to where the dogs were and started to wrestle them to try and free the little dog. The man was yelling out, "I think it’s dead! Just kill my dogs; just kill my dogs!" The little Chihuahua was treated like a toy. It was getting thrown side to side. I went to a house across the street and told them to ring the police as I had no phone to use. Soon after the police and the ambulance came. The small dog was killed, the lady received treatment from the ambulance for the lacerations on her arm, and the dogs were last seen heading off in a ranger’s van, hopefully for euthanasia. Dog owners must be held responsible for their dogs' actions. That was one of the most terrifying days of my life. Jaime Norman Clovelly WHERE THERE’S WOOD SMOKE THERE’S FIRE ▼ Dear Beast - I can always tell when someone writing to The Beast will end up attempting to insult me. It is the ‘I’ve lived here longer than you’ sneer. I see that George Sinclair (Chill Out About Wood Fires, Letters, The Beast, October

16 The Beast | November 2016

2016) is the latest to hurl it in my direction. To me, that line always sounds like something you’d be likely to hear at a Pauline Hanson’s One Nation rally. Anyway, I fail to see how length of residency in Bronte has any relevance to the discussion around wood fires and their adverse health impacts.

All I am hearing from those arguing in favour of wood fire smoke is anecdote and unconvincing insults. But for Mr. Sinclair’s benefit, I note for the record that both sides of my family have, at various times, lived and died in the Coogee, Waverley, Bronte, Bondi area since the early 1880s. Buried in the Waverley Cemetery are two sets of my great great grandparents, along with a few other relos. So I stake my family’s claim to be some of the earliest settlers of the European variety in the Eastern Beaches area. If Mr. Sinclair thinks that helps my arguments about wood fire smoke, well, that is great. Back to the issue of wood fire smoke. In matters medical, evidence beats anecdote. All I am hearing from those arguing in favour of wood fire smoke is anecdote and unconvincing insults. I do not expect people to immediately

support my call for a ban on wood fires in Waverley. I know people have a romantic view of wood fires. All I can do is raise the issue and highlight the evidence that wood fire smoke is potentially extremely harmful to the health of Waverley residents. If you can smell the smoke, it’s doing you harm. If people have sound scientific evidence that wood smoke doesn’t harm your health (as opposed to anecdote or what they just think) please share it with us. Mr. Sinclair finishes his anecdote by telling me to “get real, get a life, and stop trying to influence everyone else’s life”. As much as I appreciate the advice, the problem, Mr. Sinclair, is that my very real life is dedicated to helping people to be healthy. And if there is one thing that has become crystal clear to me during my 20 years of medical practice it is that prevention is so much better than cure. By reducing wood fire smoke in our environment we have the potential to prevent lung and heart disease, and even death. So George, I will continue to try to “influence everyone else’s life”. It’s my job. Stephen Lightfoot Bronte DA APPROVAL STANDARDS Thanks to J. Parkes of Bronte for their letter to The Beast's Monthly Mailbag (No Council Integrity In Waverley, Letters, The Beast, October 2016). While Council does perform many of its duties very well, unfortunately your experience on noncompliant development applications being approved is all too common. One must think Council's stated 'guidelines' and codes are simply irrelevant when Council reviews applications. In addition, Council should be more rigorous in verifying claims made by the applicant’s town planner or so-called 'experts', as often such claims are glib, misleading or plain false when claiming compliance with approval criteria. The result is a benefit to a small few at the significant and daily detriment to many, and to the area.


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Council needs to wake up and realise its responsibility to adhere to 'guidelines' and codes is serious, as this responsibility is Council's fundamental purpose to protect the amenity of residents and the area. A. Watts Randwick WHEN GRANDMOTHERS START TO RIOT ▼ As a Bondi Beach grandmother, I love seeing local and visiting children playing at our beautiful beaches. And then I think of the over 150 asylum seeker and refugee children in desperate and dangerous situations on Nauru, on our watch, and I pick up the flyers, placards and banners and head out to join the Grandmothers Against the Detention of Refugee Children, a movement of 2000 grandmothers. The recently released 'Nauru Files' outline shocking details of physical and sexual assaults, self-harm, poor medical treatment - over half of these reports relate to children. The Nauru Files are

18 The Beast | November 2016

the latest in a long line of reports documenting devastating damage being done to innocent refugee children left in limbo. So, we grandmothers cannot be silent. We urge the prime minister and all parliamentarians to work together to resettle the child refugees and their families held on Nauru into safe community settings on the Australian mainland. We'd rather be taking our grandkids to the beach than protesting, but we won't stop until the last asylum seeker and refugee child leaves Nauru. Wendy Power Bondi Beach NON-COMPLIANCE CONSEQUENCES In relation to the letter by J. Parkes of Bronte in The Beast’s mailbag in the October issue, I empathise greatly. My experience with noncompliant DAs is that Council rubber stamps such DAs despite valid objections and the impact to residents and the area. How would councillors and

town planners like their sunlight replaced with shadows and their view replaced with eyeballing a new neighbour? Where do councillors and town planners expect us residents to find car parks in our already overcrowded streets? A. Wilcox Randwick I MISSED PEARL Dear Editors - Where was Pearl in The Beast’s October edition? I have to say I love this woman’s astute assessment of life. She wields the knife delightfully and at all the right people. Pat Walsh Bronte NOT A CAMILLA FAN Hey guys - Who is this person on your last cover? She looks weird and her interview answers are weirder and confusing. Surely we've got a Home & Away actor nearby who has better chat? Also, bring back Mad Frothers. Dave Address not provided

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UNDERGROUND, OVERGROUND, WOMBLING FREE ► Over the last few years, Andrew Worssam and Greg Maidment have been waging a campaign to retain that glorious seventh wonder of the world, the aboveground car park at Bondi Beach. Attempts to point out the benefits of removing the aboveground car park, such as the extra parkland gained or increased safety for pedestrians, seem to fall on deaf ears. Mr. Worssam’s latest argument (Underground Car Park At Bondi Beach, Letters, The Beast, September 2016) is that the proposed underground Bondi Beach car park will flood, turning it into a ‘water feature’. To emphasise the point, we are provided with a cartoon illustration of a scuba diver floating above a submerged vehicle! Mr. Worssam says his claim is based on his reading of Waverley Council’s ‘Coastal Risks and Hazards Vulnerability Study’. I’ve gone through this study (available on Council’s website) and cannot find anything in it to support this claim. A one or two-storey car park built into the slope behind the Pavilion, under Bondi Park and Campbell Parade, would be adjacent to the Pacific Bondi car park. Presumably the latter is not at risk of flooding; why then should an adjacent car park flood? Perhaps it would be wise to await the results of Council’s feasibility study before speculating (or scaremongering) on this? Yes, the feasibility study! That technical document put together by experienced experts who happen to have qualifications in disciplines like engineering. Perhaps Mr. Worssam can share his engineering insight so we can all understand why it will become a ‘water feature’? The other claim made in the September 2016 Beast is that the additional recreation space gained by removing the aboveground car park would only be along the “unattractive western strip adjoining Campbell Parade” (Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Letters, The Beast, September 2016). We are told that Queen Elizabeth Drive (QED) 20 The Beast | November 2016

will be retained as a “service road”. This service road argument has been recurring for three years, e.g. “The small gain in green space is not worth it. There’ll still be a service road along the front (of the Pavilion), we just won’t be able to use it” (Letters, The Beast, July 2013). This argument gives the impression pedestrians will not be able to access a future QED. Are we really to believe Council would bother to remove the car park from QED, only to leave it empty? Council fact sheets (available online) make it very clear that Council’s intention is to “green and pedestrianise QED”. Artist diagrams of a future QED show pedestrians strolling along shaded by trees. There is a discrepancy between the above claims and Council documentation. Mr. Worssam, can you please explain why “we won’t be able to use it”? Also, in the September 2016 Beast, Messrs Worssam and Maidment claim that removing the aboveground car park will result in an increase in recreation space of only 15 per cent. However, may I ask, 15 per cent of what? A percentage is a proportion of something bigger. So what are we measuring against? The entire suburb of Bondi? Having both argued that a future QED will only be a

“service road” - i.e. not recreation space - does this 15 per cent figure include or not include QED? They should describe the larger area the percentage references so we understand what “creates 15 per cent more recreation space” means. If you quote it, you must explain it. Mr. Maidment says, “The proposed underground car park would be a hazardous and unsavoury place” (Wentworth Courier, 06/07). Is there any evidence to back up this alarming comment, e.g. police statistics, academic studies? Have there been attacks in local underground car parks? Is this a hunch? Is it cynical scaremongering? Please explain? Mr. Worssam also complains that trees behind the Pavilion may be removed during the construction of an underground car park. According to the council fact sheet, any removal of trees would be temporary. It’s reasonable to say that replacing a vast aboveground car park with parkland means we could end up with fifty or a hundred times the amount of trees temporarily displaced. Perhaps concern should be expressed for the hundreds of extra trees we don’t have, which we could have. The proposed car park is very often compared to Westfield by

Mr. Worssam. A one to two-storey car park built into the slope behind the Pavilion could be accessible by foot, as is the case with Redleaf Pool car park in Double Bay. Continuously comparing this to the Westfield car park is, in my opinion, an outlandish exaggeration. I believe the second paragraph of Mr Worssam’s letter in the September Beast reveals the primary motive for this fight to retain the aboveground car park: the concern they may have to walk a little extra from their parked vehicle. We have the recurring claim it will take an extra 20 minutes to park - “Getting in and out of an underground car park could add 20 minutes…” (A Worssam, Wentworth Courier, 20 April, 2016). Really? The walk from the back of the Pavilion to the promenade is, say, a minute. Walking out of an underground car park to the back of the Pavilion is perhaps another minute. This is a lot less than 20 minutes! Indeed, a lot of people parking would have their walk shortened, e.g. those going to the Pavilion, the playground, the Bondi Markets. Let’s get a grip here! We are talking about a minute or two either side. Seriously, is that really going to ruin one’s day at the beach? I kindly have this request for Messrs Worssam and Maidment: the next time you see the promenade/park/playground filled to capacity, please try to imagine how the extra space gained by removing the aboveground car park would ease congestion for all. Please imagine how the extra parkland will give us more room to lay down a picnic blanket, or have a barbecue, or sit on the extra seating and tables. Please imagine how a tree-shaded pedestrian promenade on QED would bring relief to the elderly on a hot day. Please imagine strolling on an upper pedestrian boulevard on a summer’s evening enjoying the spectacular setting. Please think of all the local children brought up in units without a backyard - don’t they deserve a bigger park so they have more room to play? Have you seen how full the playground

is on weekends? There would be room for a second playground. Please observe the cars that drive past the Pavilion without slowing down. Contemplate the danger this poses for pedestrians, especially children. Please think of the extra safety people will have as they move between the park and beach. They will no longer have to zigzag through parked vehicles and traffic. You must surely agree these are all good things that will benefit everyone? Please weigh up these benefits against the possible ‘inconvenience’ of walking an extra two minutes from your parked vehicle. Why do I feel strongly enough about this subject to write this letter? I am a local parent bringing up a young child in a unit. I take my three-year-old daughter to Bondi Park and promenade at every opportunity. It is effectively her backyard and play area. The same goes for my friends and their children. We want our children to have enough room to play. We want to be assured they are safe from vehicles as they zip on their scooters in front of the Pavilion. Enrolments in local pre-schools and primary schools are booming, e.g. Bondi Public is at 141 per cent capacity! What does that indicate? It indicates that many young families are choosing to remain local rather than move to the suburbs. There are more local children than ever before, and many are being brought up in units. Look at Bondi Farmers Markets on a Saturday morning, full of young families utilising it as a backyard. When you can’t let your kids run out the back of the house you need recreation spaces that are sufficient, and safe. Perhaps my motives for writing this are selfish? Well, I’d rather be selfish for the wellbeing and safety of children than to preserve my favourite car park spot. When Beach Street in Coogee was pedestrianised in the early 90s there were some who complained about losing their parking spot directly across from the water. The resulting transformation of the Coogee beachfront was stunning

and a major benefit to local families. You only have to walk along the promenade on a sunny Sunday afternoon to see what a success it was. One would never dream of returning the Coogee beachfront to how it once was, i.e. a busy road dissecting the beach from the park. A. Worssam complains that an underground car park means we “end up with a lot less precious time at the beach”. He must have a very pressing schedule - the extra walk is, say, 50 metres? Sydney’s growing population means an increasing number of visitors will increasingly come by public transport. Tourist visitors will also increase. It is not right that a few regular locals should seek to prevent the expansion of recreation space in one of Australia’s most popular locations because they fear losing “precious time” walking to/ from their parked vehicle. This, in my opinion, is a gross disservice to the vast majority. Mark Hersey Bondi

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THUMBS UP NURSES These amazing human beings work their arses of for bugger all remuneration, so the least we can do is offer them some praise. Thanks nurses! DELILAH ROSE The Beast welcomed another child to the fold in late September in the form of Dan’s beautiful little daughter Delilah Rose Hutton. NEW CAR SMELL After 12 years of flogging the old Holden Astra, it was time to invest in a more family-friendly wagon – hello Subaru Outback. OCEAN SWIMMING The ocean swimming season gets underway this month with the Bondi Splash n’ Dash and the Coogee Island Challenge. Get wet! REMEMBRANCE Ironically, we often forget about Remembrance Day until it is right upon us. Not this year. 11th hour, 11th day, 11th month. Don’t forget it!

THUMBS DOWN VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN There is no excuse for hitting girls. We learnt this when we were about three. White Ribbon Day, on November 25, reinforces this. BIRTHING SNOBS Did you know some people look down their nose at women who have Caesars? As long as the baby is healthy, who cares how it comes out? LATE STARTS Sunny days are now upon us, and if your rig is not up to scratch by now, you’re going to be pushing shit up a hill to get it summer ready. NEW CAR ANXIETY The downside of owning a new car is worrying like never before about scratching the stupid thing. It’s only a matter of time around here. THE PLEBISCITE What a complete waste of money. Sure, you took it to the election, but when have politicians ever stuck to their election promises? 24 The Beast | November 2016

Bruno is a friendly, active boy. He is social with other dogs and walks well on loose lead. He pays no attention to passing dogs or cars and he likes to jog. He is just a pleasure to walk. He loves pats and cuddles, and he has a calm manner. Bruno has a smooth coat. He comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. His adoption cost is $400, which includes a free health and wellness voucher for the Doggie Rescue Vet. Give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email or visit the website at

CANDICE Age 2 years Sex Female Breed Dachsy x Staffy Weight 12.3kg Candice is a bright, happy girl. She is very social with other dogs, she loves people and she enjoys pats and licking people’s faces. She walks well on loose lead, and, given that she’s part Staffy, she has loads of energy. Candice has a smooth coat. She comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Her adoption cost is $450, which includes a free health and wellness voucher for the Doggie Rescue Vet. For further details, give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email or visit the website at

PHOENIX Age 8 years Sex Female Breed Staffy x Kelpie Weight 16.2kg Phoenix is a bright, happy girl. She loves her walks and pulls a bit initially, but she soon settles into the swing of things. She sometimes barks and pulls toward passing dogs. She knows ‘sit’ and loves pats and cuddles. She also loves kids. Phoenix has a smooth coat. She comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Her adoption cost is $450, which includes a free health and wellness voucher for the Doggie Rescue Vet. Give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email or visit the website at

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The envy of every surfer.

LOCAL BLOKE... JOHN GANNON FROM MAROUBRA Interview James Hutton Picture Grant Brooks


or several years, John Gannon was the envy of nearly every surfer in the world, getting paid to travel to the best breaks on the planet as the personal trainer of World Tour surfer Taj Burrow. Babies eventually brought an end to the eternal bliss for both men, but John still spends his time by the beach, getting people into their best shape. He shares his local favourites with The Beast… HOW LONG HAVE YOU LIVED HERE? Since day dot. My dad owned the local butcher shop at North Maroubra, which we lived above. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE EASTERN SUBURBS? I've seen two cyclists come of their bikes in the last month - that was pretty bloody good. WHAT GETS YOUR GOAT ABOUT THE EASTERN SUBURBS? The invasion of hipsters or the traffic I don't know what’s worse! WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BEACH? Maroubra. It’s retained its community feel. 26 The Beast | November 2016

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE EATERY? I can't go past the pho soup from the bakery down at Maroubra Beach. WHERE DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE A DRINK? Anywhere from the Maroubra Bay Hotel to the Coogee Pavilion. Getting a leave pass to go for a drink is the hard part. DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE SPORTING TEAM? The South Sydney Rabbitohs. It was a disappointing year, but we still finished above the Roosters. WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU INTO AT THE MOMENT? I’m a massive fan of Rihanna. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE PERSON? My little boy, Grayson, but he is going to have a little sister soon so he will be my second favourite shortly. WHAT DO YOU GET UP TO ON THE WEEKENDS? I work, hang out with the family, go for a surf and have a couple of beers.

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? I have a business geared towards exercises and movements that help people with back pain and create better posture; it’s known as ‘Foundation Training’. I run these classes regularly around the Eastern Suburbs. More recently, though, I've started up Ocean Gladiators with Mark Mathews, which covers all aspects of surf fitness. I am also a local lifeguard. You can find out more information about my training sessions by visiting WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT WORK? I have found a profession that interests me that I absolutely love doing. I enjoy meeting and helping people from all walks of life. DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE QUOTE? Health is wealth. ANY OTHER WORDS OF WISDOM FOR READERS OF THE BEAST? If you're still reading this, the only words of wisdom I have is to always be kind.



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DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE SPORTING TEAM? I don’t really follow sport that much, but if I had to pick a team I’d pick the Rabbitohs. WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU INTO? I’m an all-rounder when it comes to music. I love Chet Faker, Beyonce, Hilltop Hoods, Ziggy Alberts and I can’t go past old school RnB – Ashanti, Ja Rule, Alicia Keys. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE PERSON? At the moment it would have to be my nephew, Alby. WHAT DO YOU GET UP TO ON THE WEEKENDS? Some weekends I hibernate and only come out for coffee and food, some weekends I like to party and drop it low on the D-floor, and some weekends I travel up the coast for a little getaway with the boyf.

Bondi's bubbliest swimwear entrepreneur.

LOCAL CHICK... RACHEL DISALVO FROM BONDI Interview James Hutton Picture Grant Brooks


ondi convert Rachel Disalvo launched her eponymous swimwear label last year, and she’s just released her second collection of black and white bathers. Rachel shares her local favourites with The Beast… HOW LONG HAVE YOU LIVED HERE? I grew up in South Coogee and never thought I’d be a Bondi girl, but now I totally get it about ‘the bubble’. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE AREA? The obvious would have to be that I’m walking 28 The Beast | November 2016

distance to the beach, and close to lots of food and drink places, and tonnes of friends. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE EATERY? There are a few. I can’t go past Raw Bar, I love Trio, if I’m feeling fatty I’ll go to Bondi Tony’s or Hurricane’s, and if I’m feeling healthy it’s North Bondi Fish. Oh, and the new Macelleria is great. I feel like a carnivore whenever I go there! WHERE DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE A DRINK? The ever so trendy Luis Tan’s, of course. Or if I’m feeling a bit more fancy, Icebergs.

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? I launched a swimwear label, Rachel Disalvo, last December. I just launched my second collection in October this year. The brand has a variety of bikinis and one-pieces, all designed to mix and match. My colour palette for the brand is solely black and white, which I think is kind of cool and no one has done before. You can check it out at WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT WORK? I received an email the other day from a customer who purchased some swimwear and she said that she had lost confidence in her body image, but after purchasing my swimwear she got back her ‘inner spark’. Knowing that I can make a change like that in someone’s life is pretty amazing. DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE QUOTE? I’m not really a ‘quotey’ person. My friend sends me essay quotes all the time and I just read the first word. ANY OTHER WORDS OF WISDOM FOR READERS OF THE BEAST? Never give up, and don’t be afraid to ask for help… I ask everyone!


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“Now, who's not sure if they're a girl or a boy?”

SAFE SCHOOLS AND THE EASTERN SUBURBS Words Madeleine Gray Picture John Smith


he topic of the Safe Schools Coalition has rarely been out of the media since the program’s inception. Despite the fact that its national implementation occurred in June 2014 under the Abbott government, Safe Schools’ continued existence has slowly but surely been harnessed by members of the Liberal Party’s most conservative factions as a symbol of the queer community’s malevolent desire to indoctrinate children into the ‘gay agenda’. While Safe Schools’ supporters stress that the program’s aim is simply to educate Australian students about gender diversity and same-sex attraction, and to foster a national community of acceptance and support for LGBTQI people, Liberal politicians like Senator Cory Bernardi and NSW MP Damien Tudehope remain insistent that a more sinister underlying motive is at play.

30 The Beast | November 2016

The political debate going on in parliament – both state and federal – echoes a larger discord in national opinion. However, considering heterosexual sexual health is taught in all schools in PDHPE, those who oppose teaching homosexual health, for example, clearly cannot rely on the argument that sexuality should not be taught in schools. Their issue is with homosexuality, not sexuality. As such, many high schools feel the need to placate more conservative parents by choosing not to join the Safe Schools Coalition, or not offering lessons on non-heterosexual matters. Over the past month, The Beast has been contacting high schools in the Eastern Suburbs and asking them about how they support LGBTQI students. Tellingly, many schools simply chose not to respond. One school, when twice asked for specific instances of policies or programs that foster

LGBTQI acceptance, would only confirm in the most vague way, emphasising a “general commitment to positive psychology”. While none of the schools contacted told The Beast that they were signed up to the Safe Schools Coalition, some did respond in less vague terms, and gave explicit examples of ways in which they support queer students. Interestingly, the schools that did so were a mixture of secular and religious, with perhaps the most LGBTQIsupportive response coming from Catholic boys’ school, Waverley College. “There is no place for harassment, bullying or discrimination of any kind: gender, sexuality, appearance, ethnicity or ability,” Ray Paxton, Head of Waverley College said. Among other examples of fostering LGBTQI inclusivity, he explained that the Year Nine college curriculum includes looking at “basic human rights, including the 1984 Sexual Discrimination Act, and discrimination laws in NSW including transgender discrimination” and the Year 10 curriculum involves “expressing and exploring personal sexuality”. Co-educational Jewish day school Emanuel School told The Beast that it recently celebrated Diversity Day, and had a former school parent speak about his experience coming out later in life. “By opening dialogue about the important issues of equality across gender, sexuality and religion, the school actively provides support and the opportunity for all students, regardless of their sexuality, to learn and grow in a supportive and caring environment,” an Emanuel School spokesperson added. While these responses are heartening, it is disappointing that our enquiries were not met with greater engagement. The fact is that not all people are heterosexual, and some are not cisgender. Young people are bullied for difference, and difference in sexual preference and gender diversity is a particularly ripe site for bullying amongst the ill-informed.



While general inclusivity is great, LGBT students are more affected by bullying, so more specific policies about things like ‘gay’ sledging and information seminars on diverse sexual and gender identity are necessary.


In an ideal world, we wouldn’t need specific policies and seminars, but we don’t live in an ideal world. LGBTQI students are being let down, and schools need to step up.



Bullying should be discouraged no matter who the victim is. But with bullying based on sexual orientation or gender identity, change has to start with awareness, and schools using a less heteronormative framework.

They don’t really need to have specific policies for that, because it’s people’s choice, what they believe and what they are. The best thing is to give people a lot of information – not just rules.


Inclusivity policies aren’t enough; they don’t acknowledge that particular student demographics are more at risk of bullying. Schools need to take affirmative action, not just mitigate harm once bullying has occurred.


They definitely need both. High schools need to be safe places for all students, especially young LGBTI students who may be struggling with additional issues with coming out, identity, family, and peer support. November 2016 | The Beast 31

Local hockey stars Miles and Julia at Coogee.

LOCAL KIDS HIT HOCKEY BIG TIME Words Madeleine Gray Picture Dan Hutton


idiculously early morning training sessions, long drives to rural playing fields, hurriedly consumed UP&GO liquid breakfasts, and soggy swimmers soaking through itchy school uniforms - the sacrifices made by kids and their parents for sport are at downright martyrdom levels. However, while most of us will reach our sporting apex at the Saturday grand final, or by scoring a goal against a rival school, there exist an anointed few who transcend all others. Every school has one or two sportspeople who make everyone else think, “Well, bugger me!” This month, The Beast is proud to introduce you to two such young legends: Miles Davis from Randwick and Julia Bradley from Coogee. Both Mr. Davis and Ms. Bradley are incredibly skilled hockey players who play for the University of New South Wales Hockey Club. This year, they’ve both been selected for the 2016 School Sport Australia All Australian Hockey Team (16 Years and Under). Mr. Davis is in Year Nine at

32 The Beast | November 2016

Reddam, and Ms. Bradley is in Year 10 at Kambala. While Ms. Bradley was also selected for the Australian team last year, this will be Mr. Davis’ first time competing in an international tournament. Ms. Bradley said that her first international tour to South Africa was a real eye-opener, and she was excited about the prospect of competing overseas again. “It was an amazing trip, as we saw what life was like in South Africa, and Brother Creevy, the tour organiser, made sure it was a life experience, and that we learned so much about South Africa,” she said. Mr. Davis said that he too was excited about the prospect of travelling overseas, as well as the challenge of coming up against some of the world’s best young hockey players. “Making the team means travelling to Europe next year to compete against the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany and France in a huge 5 Nations tournament, with practice matches and touring that will span over one month,” he said. “It will be the biggest sporting

challenge of my life.” So how do these kids manage to balance school and playing sport at an elite level? “You just have to get on to your schoolwork early,” Mr. Davis said. “Reddam is extremely supportive and is accommodating in helping me make time for both school and hockey.” Of course, parental commitment is also crucial, with both Mr. Davis and Ms. Bradley’s parents stressing that, in the end, all the time and effort is worth it. “As a parent it’s important to help keep a balance between school work and sport, but above all, avoid being a pushy parent,” Mr. Davis’ parents, Fiona and Greg said. Ms. Bradley’s mother, Maria, echoed the sentiment. “While it’s hard, the best thing a parent can do is be encouraging and be prepared to give up time,” she said. Ms. Bradley and Mr. Davis’ success is a testament to the benefits of hard work and commitment at any age. We can’t wait to hear how they progress in the tournament next year.


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BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Madeleine Gray Picture June SPLASH N’ DASH NEEDS VOLUNTEERS Cover star Andrew Reid’s fabulous charity race, the Bondi Splash n’ Dash, is happening again this year on November 19, and a minimum of 20 energetic volunteers are required to make the day a success. Volunteers are mainly required for such things as marshalling, setting up, giving out drinks, looking after bags, directing participants to check in, etc. 10 people are needed to start at 5.30am, and everyone else is required to arrive by 7.30am. Please contact Sallie by emailing or calling 9388 9455 if you can help. SWIMMING CLUB WELCOMES NEW MEMBERS Randwick & Coogee Amateur Swimming Club kicked off the new swimming season at the historic Wylie's Baths on October 1, but it’s not too late to get involved. The club is a great way to meet new friends, keep fit, and improve your swimming. Registration is $65 for first family member, and $55 for other family members. Club members meet each Saturday morning until the end of March,

Spring in his step.

with swimming races for all swim strokes. For more information, please contact Chris Grant on 0418 887 113 or Annette Moran on 0417 169 970. RED ROCKET TOY STORE REOPENS Red Rocket Toy Store, an iconic business in the heart of the Rose Bay shopping district, has now re-opened its doors after an extensive renovation, which saw it closed for two months. The move to extensively redevelop the store came after the December 2015 floods that swept through Rose Bay. Woollahra Mayor Toni Zeltzer praised the store’s owner, Ricky Roth, for his commitment to supporting the local community, and for his ability to bring magic to the lives of the local citizens. SQUARE PEG BECOMES DIVER CAFE Square Peg Cafe at 250 Arden Street in Coogee has recently been purchased by Australian Navy Officer Tor Sorensen and his wife Sheridan, and has metamorphosed into the new and improved Diver Café. The Diver Cafe is all about connecting people with amazing

coffee and whole, healthy, good food. With options for everyone – from health nuts to sweet tooths – it’s a surefire hit. It’s now also open on Friday and Saturday nights for dinner from 5pm, with full BYO. Make sure you check it out. HOST A GIRLS’ NIGHT IN Every day in Australia, around 50 women are diagnosed with breast or a gynaecological cancer. Help Cancer Council NSW support those affected by hosting a Girls’ Night In anytime throughout November. Your Girls’ Night In can be as big or as small as you like. Host a dinner party, have a pamper session or put on a movie night. Every dollar raised will go a long way towards beating cancer. Register to host your Girls’ Night In this November at

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Standing strong against domestic violence.



our years ago, Roger Yeo and his wife Kathy had had no experience with domestic or family violence. For Roger, it was “something that happened to other people... in other neighbourhoods or other towns.” In July 2012, the Yeo’s daughter, Rachelle Yeo, was stabbed to death by a jealous former partner. Their blissful ignorance was a thing of the past, and their lives were irrevocably tainted. “For every tragedy affecting one victim, there are thousands of others lives impacted,” Mr Yeo said. According to the National Homicide Monitoring Report 2012, on average over twelve months in Australia, one woman will be killed every week as a result of intimate partner violence. Intimate partner violence is the leading contributor to death, disability and ill-health in Australian women aged 15 to 44 years. One in four children are exposed to domestic violence. That means that Australian women are being injured and killed because of interpersonal violence perpetrated by men they know and trust. Men are killing women. And, according to Mr 36 The Beast | November 2016

Yeo, “It's not getting better.” White Ribbon is an organisation that is attempting to change this. It bills itself as “the world’s largest movement of men and boys working to end men’s violence against women and girls, promote gender equality, healthy relationships and a new vision of masculinity.” This understanding – that violence of any kind is the result of a choice made by the perpetrator – is one of the many reasons that Mr Yeo has become an ambassador for White Ribbon. “Men's violence against women is a cultural issue,” Mr Yeo said. “For so long we have accepted attitudes and behaviours as normal: ‘men can't control themselves’; ‘he was drunk’; ‘what was she wearing?’ “We have to teach our sons to respect women, and teach our daughters about what positive and supportive relationships should look like.” Crucially, change comes about through awareness dialogue. On Friday, November 25, the Sydney White Ribbon Walk will take place, organised by NSW Police Eastern Beaches Local Area Command and Randwick City Council.

The event aims to raise awareness of this insidious cultural problem, and to inspire people to talk about it with their friends. At 7:30am, participants will walk from High Cross Park in Randwick down to Grant Reserve in Coogee, in solidarity with all women who have been, and may become, victims of maleperpetrated violence. Following the walk, an informal breakfast, speeches and oath ceremony will take place at Grant Reserve. "The White Ribbon Walk sends an important message that as a community we stand strong and say no to domestic violence,” Randwick Mayor Noel D’Souza said. “Together with NSW Police, Randwick City Council is proud to encourage locals to come together and start a meaningful dialogue about this important issue." Mr Yeo echoed Mayor D’Souza in urging everyone to attend the walk. “Too often people tend to say ‘Oh my God, what a tragedy!’ and then continue with their daily routine until the next one,” he said. “We have to remember every death, or we won't learn.”






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From rebel to role model.



hen you’re a kid, you often come face to face with wistful adults who lament that their glory days are well behind them. These people will probably look at you resentfully, and warn you that ‘school days are the best days of your life’. But high school is not for everyone. For some, the rigid constraints of the curriculum can stifle creativity. For others, high school can seem impossible due to the hierarchical socialisation that tends to occur. And for others still, mainstream high schools simply cannot offer the specialised support that they need to thrive. This is where WAYS Youth Services steps in. WAYS is a notfor-profit community organisation 38 The Beast | November 2016

providing educational and support services to youths and their families across eastern Sydney. While WAYS used to work as a drop-in centre only, since 2008 it has also been home to its very own secondary school, WAYS Secondary. WAYS Secondary is a non-fee paying, independent high school for young people who have been disconnected from mainstream education, and is committed to providing a supportive, engaging and flexible learning environment. Crucially, it embraces difference, whether that takes the form of different ways of learning, different domestic situations, or different abilities. In early 2016, WAYS Secondary began offering Year 12 classes.

Now, it has achieved the remarkable feat of having its first student sit the HSC. That student is 17-year-old Muru Rudolph. After being expelled from his local school in New Zealand, Mr. Rudolph came to Australia from New Zealand with his family three and a half years ago. Back at home he spent his time on the streets, getting into trouble with his friends. When he arrived in Sydney, Mr. Rudolph simply saw school as a way in which to pass the time until he could work. When he wasn’t accepted at a school in Rose Bay, Mr. Rudolph went to WAYS Secondary. He was at the beginning of Year 10. “When he first got here, Mr. Rudolph presented huge psychological and educational difficulties, but we could see his potential and we were determined not to give up on him,” Dr. Terri Said, Principal of WAYS Secondary, said. Mr. Rudolph said the opportunity to study at WAYS changed the way he thought about school, himself and the world around him. “I am proud of myself and thankful for everything WAYS has helped me to achieve,” he said. “I would never have thought a few years ago that I was capable of getting there. “WAYS altered my perception of the world. It made me enjoy my education, find lasting friendships and feel appreciated. “The teachers have shown me what I’m capable of and they push me to do well.” Mr. Rudolph’s next goal is to get into university to study construction management. Dr. Said praised both Mr. Rudolph’s emotional and academic growth. “All the other students at WAYS Secondary look up to him,” she said. “He started as a rebel, and became a role model.” WAYS hopes many more students will follow in Mr. Rudolph’s footsteps, and while it does receive some government funding, donations and volunteers make a huge difference. Check out their good work at

A very determined bunch.

IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF THE BRONTE RSL REDEVELOPMENT SAGA? Words Stephen Lightfoot, Save Bronte spokesperson Picture Con Struction


ronte locals may have noticed that the derelict Bronte RSL building has suddenly become a giant billboard. The site has been sold to a new developer and 21 ‘boutique luxury’ apartments, known as ‘Bronte Place’, are being advertised for sale. Back in October 2012 over 300 concerned locals packed the dilapidated Bronte RSL to hear from Waverley Council about plans to redevelop the RSL site. The Bronte RSL Sub-Branch’s chosen developer, David Hynes of Winston Langley Burlington (WLB), was in attendance. In the stifling atmosphere of that hot summer evening, Hynes surely had no inkling of the four year battle ahead that would end with WLB abandoning its proposed supermarket and on-selling the site before it could turn the first sod of its sodding building. WLB planned to redevelop the site with a building twice as large as allowed under the contemporary planning controls. It tried a number of ways to have this non-complying DA approved, culminating in an appeal to the Department of Planning for a spot re-zoning of the site. Never opposed to a redevelop40 The Beast | November 2016

ment, the Save Bronte group led the community’s efforts for an appropriate DA, and in the end the Department of Planning refused the developer’s re-zoning request. WLB was forced to scale back its plans, which, whilst still breaking the height limit, were approved by Council in December 2015. Still not satisfied, WLB continued to investigate ways in which to increase the size of its redevelopment. It presented new plans for a bigger and taller development to Waverley Council, which were not supported by the council planners. Perhaps feeling defeated, WLB put the site on the market. It was sold in late July to the RDA Property Group, which is directed by local developer and former fashion industry identity Danny Avidan. The sale price is confidential, but the Australian Financial Review estimated a figure somewhere north of $10 million. All will be revealed on December 21 when settlement takes place and WLB and the Bronte RSL Sub-Branch gets its money. New owner Mr. Avidan is promising to build “a modern oasis of beautiful residences” in accordance with the DA approved last year, and has told locals that

we can now “relax”. Building may commence as soon as January. One part of this story that gets misrepresented is the demise of the Bronte RSL Club, which closed in 2012 due to financial difficulties. In truth, the redevelopment was never about saving the club. The Bronte RSL Club was a separate legal entity to the Bronte RSL Sub-Branch, which owned the site and will receive a financial windfall from the sale. No matter which DA was approved, the club had no money with which to reopen in the new building. The club asked the Sub-Branch for financial assistance in order to reopen, but the Sub-Branch said it was unable to help. Having no other financial saviours, the club went into liquidation in mid-2015. So, with apartments for sale and a new owner ready to build, is this the beginning of the end, or merely the end of the beginning of our community's long campaign for an appropriate redevelopment of the Bronte RSL site? We don’t know for sure, but what we do know is that our community will be watching closely as the redevelopment proceeds, and we won’t relax until the last coat of paint is dry on ‘Bronte Place’.

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MORE BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Madeleine Gray Picture Anthony Glick Instagram @anthonyglick SCORES ON DOORS Curious about how well your local eatery stacks up on the hygiene front? It’s your lucky day. Food safety ratings for almost 300 Randwick City restaurants and cafes are now available online for diners to check out the safety and hygiene practices of their favourite eatery through the voluntary program ‘Scores on Doors’. To celebrate Randwick City’s star-rated cafes and restaurants, you have the chance to win a dinner to the value of $60 each week – simply visit and fill in the form to win. CRICKET AND CHARITY EQUALS PERFECT MATCH Want to make like Cher Horowitz, and do something “good for mankind”? Lifestart invites your team of co-workers to participate in an outdoor cricket challenge at lunchtime that raises money for young people living with disability, and their families and carers. All you have to do is select a date for your teambuilding challenge and Lifestart will bring the game to you. Cricket bats, balls and wickets suitable for use at any outdoor venue

Secret spot.

will be provided, and all you have to take care of is the fundraising. Too easy! Visit au/event/lifestartplayforkids2016. WORLD PANCREATIC CANCER DAY Pancreatic cancer is a fatal, but little known cancer. Susan Hansen and the good people at Vooey want to change this by raising awareness and gathering support for those afflicted, and their families. November 17 is World Pancreatic Cancer Day, and the team at Vooey invites you to Bondi Beach Ramp at 5:30pm, to wear purple, take photos, and share them on social media. And be sure to hashtag #Couragemate. For more information, call Su on 0497 625 014. SALLY BETTS AND NOEL D’SOUZA RE-ELECTED Mayor Sally Betts and Deputy Mayor Tony Kay were recently re-elected as Waverley Council Mayor and Deputy Mayor, while Matraville chemist and Labor Councillor Noel D’Souza has been re-elected as Mayor of Randwick Council. Liberal Councillor Brendan Roberts was elected Deputy Mayor. Mayor Betts reflected on

the achievements of Waverley Council over the past year in a speech to councillors and the public, and addressed the imminent Council amalgamation, saying, “We will continue business as usual until the new Council, which will hopefully be called Eastern Beaches Council, is proclaimed.” Mayor D’Souza said, “It has been a privilege to serve my community as Mayor for the past 12 months and I am honoured that my fellow Councillors have re-elected me to this role.” RIDE SYDNEY TO THE GONG FOR MS This year marks the 35th anniversary of the iconic community MS Sydney to the Gong bike ride, which is a fantastic fundraising initiative supporting people living with multiple sclerosis in Australia. Riders can choose to tackle the entire 90km long course or complete the 58km short course, taking in spectacular scenery through the Royal National Park and along the ocean road. The ride is capped at 10,000 cyclists and often sells out, so anyone who wants to participate should sign up now at



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November 2016 | The Beast 43

Calling all local photographers!

SEE IT. SHOOT IT. SHARE IT. WIN IT. Words Dan Hutton and Nik Howe Picture Nik Howe


ancy yourself as a bit of a photographic phenomenon? Reckon your skills on the ‘gram (that’s short for Instagram, in case you were wondering) are good enough to garner thousands of gawking followers, but you just haven’t been able to get your name out there thus far? Want to win some amazing prizes for little more than some thumb twiddling and your eye for detail? For the second year running, WHTVR, a Bronte-based design and content studio, is putting out a search for budding local snappers and creative-inclined businesses to shoot and share their vision of Sydney to be in the running to win a prize pool valued at over $10,000. Yes, that's right, 10 large. For Instagramming. And you don't even have to leave your own suburb. This year, The Beast has teamed up with WHTVR, and brought on board the good folk at QT Bondi and PHOTOKING in Randwick, to make the competition prize pool even more attractive. The winner, to be revealed in the January edition of The Beast and on Instagram at the handles 44 The Beast | November 2016 and @thebeastmag on December 11, will be rewarded with a plethora of great swag, including a $6,000 branding and website package by WHTVR, a four-night deluxe stay at QT Bondi, and a full page Q&A in this very magazine. The 10 finalists, nominated by a panel of people who know what they're talking about when it comes to photography, will each receive a printed copy of their entry kindly donated by PHOTOKING (valued at $150 each) and have their photos included on a double page spread of images in the January edition of The Beast. It couldn’t be easier to enter and win. Simply take a decent photo or video of Sydney (no 'boomerangs' allowed), share it on Instagram, hashtag it with #mysydney, #whtvr and #thebeastmag, follow @whtvr. co and @thebeastmag, and wait to see if you win. Or have another crack if you're bored. There's no limit to the amount times you can enter. The #mysydney photo competition is an initiative by WHTVR to showcase Sydney through the eyes

of locals who share our passion for this city. This is your chance to spruik the town you live in and win stuff for doing so. It could be your local eat street, surf break, ocean pool or architectural masterpiece. Hell, it could even be someone’s face - but not your own; that’s just vain. No selfies allowed. Be inventive. Don’t just shoot Bondi Beach at sunrise or the Icebergs pool and expect to win. You might, but we’re really looking for innovation, imagination, and inspiring photos. A select group of #mysydney by WHTVR ambassadors will also be sharing their visual stories on Instagram at and @thebeastmag, so join in and you could be the one taking home the loot. The #mysydney by WHTVR photo competition opens on October 18 and closes at midnight on November 28, 2016. The 10 finalists will be notified between December 1 and 10, and the winner will be announced on December 11. For full competition details, visit



Show us Sydney through your eyes Post it to your Instagram account #mysydney #whtvr #thebeastmag and follow and @thebeastmag Go again or wait to see if you win


A $6k Branding & Website Package by WHTVR A four-night stay at QT Hotel worth $2k 10x Finalists will have their entries printed by Photoking + An interview & photo spread in The Beast



Beast *Not in cash obviously. We don’t have that sort of money lying around. For full terms visit:

18.10.16 — 28.11.16


Everyone loves a Bintang.



young Bondi Junction resident was violently apprehended at Sydney Airport recently after it was discovered he had returned from a two-week holiday in Bali without purchasing a single Bintang product. Border security responded to a direct order from Premier Mike Baird to detain the young man, whose identity has been withheld for legal reasons, as he attempted to pass through immigration and customs. The suspect attracted the attention of security staff when highly trained sniffer dogs failed to detect any traces of Bintang beverages in his bloodstream. This prompted a painstaking search of the man’s luggage, which was devoid of any Bintang souvenirs such as a singlet, trucker’s cap, beach towel or beer cooler. “It is incumbent upon every Australian visitor to both purchase and consume Bintang products while holidaying in Bali,” announced

46 The Beast | November 2016

Federal Minister for Immigration and Border Protection, Peter Dutton, who personally assigned himself to lead the investigation, such is the severity of the case. “Failure to do so represents a direct challenge to Australia’s traditional values and culture,” he continued. “It also represents a serious flaw in character. People of poor character are not welcome in this country, because of the life views and habits they bring with them, which threaten our way of life.” The report from border security officials revealed that further detailed tests found traces of sangria, apple cider, Cuban rum, and coconut juice, but no Bintang. “The only beverage consumed by the suspect that approximated Bintang was a Corona,” stated the report. Compounding the problems for the young man is the fact that a detailed body scan, “conducted in accordance with prevailing inter-

national human rights laws” could not locate a single tattoo anywhere on the man’s skin. The offender will now be held in custody for an indefinite period of time without the right to protest, while officials, including Minister Dutton himself, decide on a suitable punishment or actions that the suspect can perform in order to return to Bondi Junction. “Fortunately for the defendant, Bintang products are readily available at numerous outlets throughout Sydney, such is their importance in Australia’s contemporary urban culture,” read a statement from Mr. Dutton’s office. “The defendant may be able to purchase such a product, via a proxy, at a severely inflated ‘Sydney’ price. “Failing this, he may submit to the application of a permanent tattoo which is large, kitsch, garish, crass and unsophisticated, and will cause the bearer no end of heartache in future years - unless he becomes a professional footballer.”

MAYOR‘S MESSAGE Mayoral Elections I was very pleased to have been re-elected as Mayor of Waverley with Cr. Tony Kay re-elected as Deputy Mayor on 22 September. It has been a great privilege to be the Mayor of Waverley Council for the past four years and I feel honoured to be able to continue to serve the people of this incredible community. The past year has seen our Council deliver some amazing things for our residents in a number of key areas. With Council amalgamations quickly approaching I am confident we will continue to provide improved services to our residents and ratepayers in the newly formed Council.

Coastal Walk Update The coastal walk between Bondi and Bronte is once again open to the public, having been closed since June when it was severely damaged by the East Coast Storm. This means residents and tourists to Bondi can now

Events Sculpture by the Sea 20 October–6 November Sculpture by the Sea is a major free public art event displayed along the famous Bondi to Tamarama coastal walk. Now in its 20th year, Sculpture by the Sea brings culture to Waverley’s spectacular coastline. It is an amazing outdoor exhibition. For more info about the event, visit www.sculpturebythesea. com, phone 8399 0233 or email

CUSTOMER SERVICE CENTRE 55 Spring Street, Bondi Junction NSW 2022 PO Box 9, Bondi Junction NSW 1355 PHONE 9083 8000 WEB

enjoy Waverley’s world famous beaches without a detour through Hunter Park. The work has been completed on schedule, as planned before the beginning of October and in time for Sculptures by the Sea. Thank you to the Council staff for your efficiency and acting so quickly to get this very complicated work completed. I look forward to seeing the Waverley community out and about, enjoying the beautiful views and the world famous Sculptures by the Sea exhibition next.

Award win for Dina Franks I am delighted to announce that Dina Franks won the award for the Best Australian Actor with a Disability at the Red Carpet Awards in September. The film ‘Short Changed’, qualified for the International Focus on Ability Film Festival 2016, and is a Waverley Community Living Program initiative. This is a wonderful achievement and we congratulate Dina who will receive flights and accommodation to California, passes to Disneyland and will train for six weeks in the Los Angeles Acting Experience Course.

Sally Betts, Mayor of Waverley

Waverley Cemetery Open Day Saturday 5 November, 9am–12pm Join Friends of Waverley Cemetery for free tours, talks and look ups. Tours will commence every 30 minutes. Bookings essential. Call 9083 8899 or email cemetery@waverley.nsw. to book your place. To find out more visit For more event info visit our website

Connect with us:

EVEN MORE BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Madeleine Gray Picture Lauren Michelle ON YER BIKES BOYS Bronte locals Peter Byrne and Andy Palmer, and Sydney Swans’ legend Adam Goodes, will take part in The Captain’s Ride, a six‐ day bike journey from Bowral to Mt Kosciuszko in support of the Steve Waugh Foundation, commencing October 29. The route covers more than 700 kilometres of tarmac and climbs to around 1,500 metres. The Steve Waugh Foundation provides life-changing support and helps to improve the quality of life for children and young adults with a rare disease. BONDI BEACH BABY SWADDLES Got a bub that would appreciate a super soft swaddle? Bondi Beach Baby swaddles are made from 100% organic cotton muslin and are the perfect accessory for you and your little munchkin. As a new mum, it's hard to find baby products that are not only high quality,

Congratulations Mr & Mrs Hall!

but also stylish for parents. Bondi Beach Baby has created a fashionable wrap that is easy to accessorise with any outfit, and will also keep your baby safe and snug. Swaddles are $29.95, and are available at

in coordinating the inaugural competition for surfers from the property industry, with all funds raised going to key research at the Centre for Healthy Brain Ageing (CHeBA). For more information, go to

WIPEOUT DEMENTIA Senior executives from Sydney’s property industry are all set to raise funds for research with Wipeout Dementia, a surf contest to be held for the first time at Bondi Beach. 1978 World Surfing Champion and ambassador for Wipeout Dementia Wayne Rabbit Bartholomew AM will participate in the Bondi Beach event on November 25. The competition will likely be rife with surfers from such groups as Avenor, Bates Smart, Charter Hall, Ray White and Colliers. Director of Avenor, Peter Clemesha, said he was delighted to be involved

LOCAL SPORT GRANT APPLICATIONS OPEN Member for Coogee Bruce Notley-Smith has encouraged local sporting clubs to apply for the NSW Government’s Local Sport Grant Program to get more locals involved in sport and recreation activities. Notley-Smith said the Program aims to increase regular and ongoing participation in sport and active recreation. “The Local Sport Grant Program provides funding for sports clubs in Coogee and across NSW,” he said. Applications are now open and close November 11. Visit

Waverley Markets

9am – 1pm, Saturday 19th November Waverley Primary School 155 Bronte Road, Waverley Car Boot Sale New & Secondhand Stalls Jumping Castle Face Painting Kids’ Games Good Coffee & Homemade Cakes Sausage Sizzle Stall enquiries: 0498 687 555 Proudly sponsored by Edward Brown of

Bondi Junction


November 2016 | The Beast 49

November 2016 MONDAY


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SCULPTURES LIGHT UP THE COAST Sculpture by the Sea is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year, and the line-up of artists and sculptures is as mind-bogglingly good as we’ve come to expect. You’ve got three more days to check it out this year – it’s running from October 20 to November 6. Now scoot!

CUP DAY AT RANDWICK There is nowhere else in Sydney to be today but trackside at Royal Randwick, with the excitement of nine live races, plus ‘the race that stops a nation' on the largest super-screen in the southern hemisphere. To book, please visit

TITLE AND DEED AT THE BELVOIR Belvoir consistently serves up theatrical banger after theatrical banger, and its offerings this month are no different. Running from October 13 to November 7 is ‘Title and Deed’, Will Eno’s 70-minute monologue of disarming wisdom. Visit

NATIONAL RECYCLING WEEK National Recycling Week gets underway today and runs until November 13. Living more sustainably is on the rise, particularly here in the Eastern Suburbs. Visit for more info on how to participate in the week’s numerous events.

SPANISH BABIES LOVE BOOKS Babies Love Books in Spanish is a monthly program for children 0-5 years at Bowen Library. Head down this morning at 10:15am and bob with your bub to music, rhymes and stories, all in Spanish! Entry is free, or should we say gratis? Call 9314 4888 for more info.

BUSHCARE AT BRONTE WATERFALL Join the hardworking Bronte Waterfall Bushcare Group today from 9am to 12pm, and play a vital role in caring for our native coastal bushland. Drop in whenever suits, and feel free to bring the kids. For more information, please email

TOTALLY RANDOM BOOK CLUB This is a book club for primary school kids in years 3 – 6. Every month a new book is read and discussed. It’s super casual and super fun. You get together with mates and new friends, make cool stuff, and chat about books. It’s on at Bowen Library today from 4.00–4:45pm.

ART CLASSES WITH LILY OEN Do you ever find yourself promising to dedicate some ‘me time’ to yourself, but never actually getting around to it? That’s not good enough! Sign up to Lily Oen’s art class today at 10:30am at Bowen Library, and lose yourself to the serenity. Register at 9314 4888.

ETSY MASTERCLASS Today at the Bondi Pavilion, join Therese Lyons of Ena & Albert, who will show you all the tips and tricks to get started making striking, hand-crafted beads using polymer clay. You’ll walk away with a one of a kind, handcrafted necklace! Info at

WORLD PANCREATIC CANCER DAY Pancreatic cancer is a fatal, but little known, cancer. Today, show your support and spread awareness: join Susan Hansen and the good people at Vooey at Bondi Beach Ramp at 5:30pm. Wear purple, take photos, share them on social media. Call Su on 0497 625 014.

COOGEE PRECINCT MEETING Join other local residents and business owners to discuss (and often whinge about) issues that affect the local area, and to find out about local events and projects. Tonight’s meeting is on from 7:30–9:30pm at Coogee Eastward Senior Citizens Centre. It’s cool to care!

RANDWICK COUNCIL MEETING All residents are welcome to attend Randwick Council’s Ordinary Council Meeting each month, and this month it’s on tonight. Head to Council Chambers at 90 Avoca Street, Randwick from 6-11pm and get immersed in local goss, business dealings and long-running feuds.

JEREMY LOOPS AT OXFORD ARTS South African roots singer/songwriter and activist Jeremy Loops is heading to Australia for the first time this November, celebrating the release of his debut album ‘Trading Change’. See him tonight at the OAF at 8pm. Tickets at


SUMMER OF MOONLIGHT CINEMA Balmy weather and shimmering silver screens – Australia’s summer nights will be sparkling again as Moonlight Cinema returns for its 20th season. Moonlight Cinema will run all summer long from December (tomorrow!). Visit www.moonlight.

Now you can upload all your local events for free

Carpenter Mark Potocki Against The Grain Ph: 0415 688 562 Concretor Jay Rodney Oceanside Ph: 0411 989 565




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JEWISH CULTURE EXHIBITION 'Eat, Pray, Naches' is an award winning multimedia exhibition celebrating the rich history of the Jewish community, showing daily from 10am to 4pm at Bowen Library in Maroubra. It opened on October 8 and runs until November 20. Visit

MARK OF REMEMBRANCE Remembrance Day in Australia commemorates the noble sacrifices of armed forces and civilians during times of war. At the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, one minute of silence is observed across the country to mark the cessation of WWI hostilities.

WAVERLEY CEMETERY OPEN DAY Cemeteries are fascinating places, where people from all walks of life are joined in commemoration of the dead, and celebration for the living. Join the Friends of Waverley Cemetery today for free tours, talks and look-ups at Waverley Cemetery. Call 9083 8899 to book.

VOLUNTEER AT MCIVERS POOL Do you love puns about ladies and bushes? If so, you’re going to have a blast volunteering at McIvers Ladies’ Pool this morning from 8am to 10am, helping regenerate the baths’ grounds. To trim some bush and get more information, call 9399 0708. BUSHCARE AT GORDONS BAY Gordons Bay is Randwick Council's longest running bushcare group. They have transformed a weed-infested area into a coastal heath reserve with epic views. Join them this morning from 9am to 1pm. Call the bushcare office on 9399 0708 for more details.

STOP YOUR FOOD ADDICTION Food Addicts Anonymous (FA) offers free help and hope for underweight, overweight, bulimic and food addicted people. FA meetings are held every Friday at 10am at the Salvation Army Hall on Boyce Road in Maroubra. Please visit

BONDI SPLASH N’ DASH Grab your swimmers and get ready to splash into summer at Andrew ‘Reidy’ Reid’s wonderful brainchild, the Bondi Splash n’ Dash. It’ll get your rig up to scratch, and most importantly, it raises funds for WAYS Youth Services. Visit

SYDNEY WHITE RIBBON WALK This morning, show your support for female victims of male violence, and commit to tearing down the unhealthy precepts of violent masculinity by joining the White Ribbon Walk from High Cross Park in Randwick at 7:30am to Coogee. Visit

ARIAS NIGHT Tonight is the Academy Awards of Australian music: the ARIAs! Tickets are sold out, but you can watch at home on Channel 10 from early evening. There will by performances by Flight Facilities, Jessica Mauboy, Vance Joy and Tina Arena, among others. Rock on!

ELECTRONIC WASTE COLLECTION If you’ve got a bunch of old computers and no longer functioning technological crap, you’re in luck. Today is Electronic Waste Collection Day at the Alexandria Integrated Facility. Head to 67A Bourke Road, Alexandria from 9am to 3pm and get it recycled fro free.

Painter Brett Dooley Nielson Dooley Ph: 0404 888 089 Fencing Troy Salvatico Jim’s Fencing Ph: 0405 543 530 Building Design Todd Maguire Design Solutions Ph: 0405 617 428

Rubbish Removal Dave Whiteley Dave's Rubbish Ph: 0401 296 069 Mechanic Jordan Hayman JH Automotive Ph: 0424 144 987 Plumber Matt Scott Surfside Plumbing Ph: 0450 391 734 BBQ Caterer Wardy Wardy & Sons Ph: 0414 293 396 Cleaner Sarah Callan Exec Home Office Ph: 0414 510 275 Plumber Luke Fletcher Pipe Up Plumbing Ph: 0431 638 558 Locksmith Bradley Rope SOS Locksmiths Ph: 0498 767 767 Electrician Adrian Langen Langen Electrical Ph: 0400 006 008 Arborist Jeff Hunt Prompt Trees Ph: 0412 280 338

by visiting

Splashing and Dashing

ANDREW REID Interview Dan Hutton Photography Grant Brooks

Where are you originally from? I'm originally from Vaucluse. I lived in Bondi for six or seven years and I got fed up with not being able to park my car, so I got out and now I’m living up in Vaucluse again. It's so good up there because you're away from the madness, but still close to the beach. What do you love about the Eastern Suburbs? I think the Eastern Suburbs is a good mix of people from a lot of different cultures. I've been to a lot of places in the world and it's probably one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to. Everything you need is only ever 20 minutes away, and our beaches are second to none. What gets your goat about the Eastern Suburbs? Nothing really, I love this place. Although I do feel we're a bit too governed by rules. It seems everywhere you go there's a big sign with a whole bunch of rules on it. I feel we’ve replaced common sense with rules. Do you have any favourite local haunts? I love Skinny Dip Café. The brekkie wraps there are unbelievable. Big Reuben there serves them up. I'm not much of a coffee 52 The Beast | November 2016

drinker, though – I've got enough energy as it is without caffeine. For a beer, North Bondi RSL is hands down one of the best. There's nothing better than a beer overlooking the beach at sunset. Oh, and my dentist: Striking Smile at Rose Bay. Most people hate the dentist, but not me. Our teeth are our greatest asset and something we really need to look after. Melissa is just a legend and it’s always a good experience. You've talked in the past about how you were an overweight kid; were you bullied as a young bloke, and what made you decide to get fit and healthy? I think the word 'bully' is thrown around pretty loosely these days. I think there's a fine line between 'bullied' and 'given a hard time'. Sometimes we need to be told the things that we don't want to hear to help us; there's nothing like being told that you can't do something to make you do it. Kids can be really cruel, but they are being completely honest usually. By the time I was 19 I got fed up with hearing all that stuff about my weight and realising every time I looked in the mirror that it wasn't a pretty sight, so I decided to go out and get fit and

healthy. To be honest, I look back now and I wouldn't be the person I am today who loves setting goals and achieving new things if I hadn't been that chubby kid.

And in terms of what it’s done for our personal lives? Fame, fortune, beautiful women… none of them! Unless you're Harries (Anthony Carroll), of course.

You’ve worked as a garbage collector and as a lifeguard. Both jobs are about community service, but one definitely gets more kudos than the other; what do you think about the hero worship that surrounds lifeguards? It's fortunate for us that our job involves saving people's lives, and that's why we get the hero status. I definitely wasn't called a hero when I was a garbage man, but I tell you what, getting up at four o'clock every morning and running behind a garbage truck for five hours, I'd say that was more heroic than anything else. In the end, the garbage needs to be taken away too.

Can you tell us about some of your most memorable lifeguarding moments? I remember working one day down at the south corner and I was literally running from rip to rip doing rescues, going in and out of the water. There is a thrill in spotting someone in trouble, paddling out and getting them. Finishing a day like that where no one's drowned is so rewarding. Then you've got the added reward of knowing that everyone that you've saved has gone home to his or her family. In my fifth season at the beach I was unlucky enough to watch a guy drown and die at Bondi, and that was a really tough time for me. I saw him go under and couldn't get to him in time. It made me grow up about 10 years in that one moment, I reckon. The guy was an amazing Mongolian doctor who had come to our country to change lives. I remember watching him walk out and he was wearing a pair of budgie smugglers, which I thought was weird. We don't like to stereotype people, but obviously we watch certain cultures more than we watch others. I knew that he was an Asian gentleman, but because he was wearing the budgie smugglers I thought maybe he'd be okay and that he knew what he was doing. We had 40,000 on the beach that day, and we couldn't get everyone in between the flags, as much as we tried. I remember watching him walk out on the sand bank and then he just slipped off the back of it. I remember watching him put one arm up and I radioed the jet-ski, but the jet-ski couldn't hear me because it was going to another rescue. I radioed the tower and said I was going in, then I paddled straight out there. I bounced about four waves on the way out and when I got to where I’d seen him he was gone. He was around a whole bunch of surfers and in any other situation like that a surfer

How can we teach people that the less glamorous jobs are equally important? I don't know; give the garbos a TV show, maybe? There are some fit looking boys in there and they do a fantastic job. I was a garbo for 12 years and I loved every day of it. It is bloody tough work though. You fill two 26 tonne trucks a day, and you're picking up from 1,200 houses a day. People don’t realise how fit you have to be. You were a lifeguard well before the Bondi Rescue television series existed; how has the show impacted what you guys do as lifeguards? If anything it's probably made us a little bit more professional, because we're in the spotlight now. Every time you're on the beach, especially at Bondi, probably 80 per cent of the people that come to the beach now are tourists and they're probably looking for someone in a blue shirt. So it's gotten a little bit harder, but it’s so good for people’s beach safety knowledge. I mean, the program is shown in 180 countries, which is a lot. Our rescues are down a lot, too. I remember coming to work 15 years ago and we did 235 rescues in one day. Now if we break 150 it's a big day, so that's a good thing. 54 The Beast | November 2016

would've grabbed him, but because he couldn't swim a stroke he literally went straight to the bottom. He didn't scream. He didn't make noises. He just sank. Unfortunately his whole family was there as it was his birthday. He had three kids. We didn't find him until two hours later. That was probably one of the worst days of my life. I look back on it and I always wonder, could I have done something differently? One of the real turning points for me afterwards was talking to my mum. She's pretty old school, so she looked at me and said, "If he couldn't swim, what was he doing swimming?" That didn't make it all better for me, but it helped a little bit. It made me remember that as much as we can do as lifeguards, in the end you literally can't control everyone. You mentioned that there is a kind of cultural stereotyping that is part of your risk analysis; can you tell us more about that? Yeah, it’s just something you do; your brain processes things a certain way. You just have to be aware that some people from other non-beach cultures are probably not going to be as strong swimmers, so you’ve got to pay special attention to them. After that unfortunate experience, did you question your ability as a lifeguard? Yeah, I was quite shattered after that, and for about two weeks I was a pretty down in the dumps. I definitely thought about whether I was still up to the task. But then I'll never forget, I was walking back from North Bondi along the promenade and while watching the water there was a girl swimming around a learn-to-surf group, and suddenly she slipped off the bank. I looked at the tower and no one had spotted her, neither had the learn-to-surfers. She was climbing the ladder and going under fast. I literally sprinted along the prom, ran down to the water, got to where she was and pulled her off the bottom of the ocean by her hair. She coughed up a whole bunch of water, spewed a few times, then I threw her on the

WHITE RIBBON WALK Join us in saying no to violence against women Friday 25 November 2016 – 7.15am Meet at High Cross Park, Randwick The walk starts at High Cross Park and ends at Grant Reserve Coogee beach, with informal speeches and an oath-swearing ceremony against violence, followed by a BBQ breakfast. White Ribbon Walk t-shirts will be sold for $10, with money raised going to White Ribbon Australia. Parking is available in the Dolphin Street car park at Coogee. A shuttle bus service will operate from the car park to High Cross Park from 6.45am.


rescue board and paddled her in. I had this moment where I knew I still had what it takes, because for a while I was really questioning whether I should’ve been doing this as a job. You guys in the lifeguard tower obviously have really good camaraderie; who are your closest mates in the lifeguard service? I get along with everyone, pretty much. The guys I probably get drawn towards more are the guys that I share common interests with and like to train lots, like Deano, Corey, Hoppo and Ben Quigley. I love all the guys and girls who I work with, though. I'm lucky enough to work with a couple of really cool girls now, too. There’s Jules, one of the new recruits, who is a lot of fun and she loves triathlon and ocean paddling. And then Nicola Atherton, a former world junior surfing champion, has been working down at the beach for a few seasons now too. Who's the biggest pest in the lifeguard tower? The biggest pest would have to be Jake Nolan. He’s an absolute pain in the arse. I wish he would join the Manly lifeguards; he's from the Northern Beaches so I don't know why he drives an hour every day to come to work. If the Manly lifeguards are reading this, boys you can have him. What are the biggest problems you face as a lifeguard? I think the hardest part about our job is watching the water. That’s what I try to focus on when I’m teaching the young guys. It was one of the things that Harries really drummed into me when I first became a lifeguard. He’s one of the best when it comes to watching the water. If you think about it, you shouldn’t drive a car longer than two hours without having a break, and we're doing nine-hour days down there sometimes. I think you need to manage your breaks and keep that concentration, because at a place like Bondi if you're not concentrating, as soon as you blink someone will go under. 56 The Beast | November 2016

What's the biggest misconception that people have about lifeguards? It used to be that we sat around and did nothing; we just checked out chicks. I think now probably the biggest misconception is that it's an easy job; it's not an easy job. Some long, hot days on Bondi are probably the hardest days I've ever worked. You're on the beach, it’s 40-degrees, you're staring at breaking waves, and the reflection of the white water burns through your retinas. You're also looking through crowds, and you've almost got to predict what people are going to do before they do it. Then throw in the fact that you've got to be exceptionally fit. It’s hard. In 2014 you founded the Bondi Splash n' Dash, which is an ocean swim and soft sand run event that raises money for Waverley Action for Youth Services (WAYS); can you tell us about the event? The Bondi Splash n' Dash came about because I don't like to sit still. When I decided to quit being a garbo and chase a job in radio, I had a lot of spare time on my hands because in winter there’s not much work as a lifeguard. I thought, ‘I've always wanted to put on an event; how hard could that be?’ Famous last words. I also wanted to raise some money for the local youth centre, because the youth centre was good to me when I was an overweight kid. I used to go and hang out there. There are a lot of ocean swims in the area – it’s a bit of a flooded market. I wanted to put on an event that had a little bit of multi-sport diversity, so you can catch up if you’re better at running than swimming, or vice versa. I went to David Gyngell, CEO of Channel 9 at the time, and asked for his support. Straight away he was all in. We just went from there, and from the first year it was already a massive success. This year there are races for elites and for amateurs, and one of the races even involves running with an inflatable duck while wearing flippers. There’s also a ‘Dancing with the Stars’ twist this year. We’ll be holding the event on Saturday, November 19.

I believe you're running free training sessions in the lead-up to the event? Yes, I’m running free training sessions for anyone who wants in. I've been getting loads of people coming down every Tuesday and Thursday morning from six o'clock outside the North Bondi Surf Club. We do soft sand running on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and we do free ocean swim sessions with the great Spot Anderson from Bondi Fit too. One of the main drivers behind the Splash n' Dash was to give people a goal to set, and I want to help people achieve their goals. How important are youth service organisations like WAYS to the local community? You couldn't put a price on it. A lot of people don't realise, but there are still a lot of struggling families around here. For example, there's a girl who helped me out with Splash n' Dash last year who attends the youth centre, and she lives in a halfway house on Bondi Road on her own. She's 17 years old. The WAYS centre is a great place for kids to go. It used to be a drop-in centre only, but now it's actually a school that caters for kids from Year Nine all the way to Year 12. For a lot of these kids, regular school just doesn't fit for them. I'm stoked to be helping. Something you probably don't want to mention too much is sharks; do you fear them, particularly from an event organising perspective? We know that they're out there in the ocean, but the actual statistic is that no one's ever been attacked in an ocean swim and it's very rare that you will see someone get attacked in a group situation. We've got so much water safety in place, and they are all fitted with Sharkbanz for the event, so I’m not really concerned about sharks. What sort of training regime do you do yourself to get fit for these kind of events? I probably train twice a day. I love training - running, ocean swimming, swim-

ming in the pool, board paddling, anything that involves the water. Running for me is my form of meditation. I believe that since the task of hunting and gathering our own food has been removed from our lives it’s important to expel energy somehow. People think I'm a little bit crazy, but it's true that we release endorphins that make us feel good when we exercise, and I like that feel-good feeling all the time. Do you have any role models, other than Jake Nolan of course? A role model for me would have to be Mick Fanning. That guy is one of the most grounded, down to earth guys I've ever met. I got lucky enough to meet him over in Bali when we filmed Bondi Rescue Bali. Something people don't realise about him is that nine months before he won his first world title he tore his hamstring from the bone. Forget the shark story, coming back from a potentially career-ending injury like that

58 The Beast | November 2016

really takes a lot of courage, as well as a never say die attitude. And my close friends are my role models, too. I like to keep my friends list short and I guess all my friends are my heroes. Do you support any other charities other than WAYS? Yeah, I've done a bit of stuff in the past for the McGrath Foundation, and recently I've been doing a lot of stuff with the Children's Tumor Foundation. I always do the Cupid's Undie Run with them. I love getting the kit off and running around in my undies on Valentine's Day – it isn't a bad day out. Do you have any advice for aspiring lifeguards, or even just for young people trying to make a difference in the community? Challenge yourself. If you don’t challenge yourself you will never grow. Set goals and promise yourself you will not quit until you achieve them. But whatever you do, give it 100 per cent and

don't be afraid to fail. Some of my greatest achievements came from failing a few times, but that’s what makes it so much sweeter when you succeed. In an ideal world, what does the future hold for Andrew Reid? I'm living in my ideal world. I love everything about my life right now. I live in the lucky country, I've got some really good friends, and I'm lucky enough to have my health. Ideally my hair won't fall out, and I’ll take on new challenges. I’ll do some work in radio, continue to be a lifeguard, have some kids, teach them how to swim, take them surfing and hang out at the beach with them. The Bondi Splash n’ Dash will take place at Bondi Beach on Saturday, November 19. For more information and to enter this awesome event, please visit

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Wed rday 7am e NSW y a Sund ay-Satu t, Cooge .au sd om ee Thur eam Str o@x74.c 222 2 r f 10 B mail: in e: 9665 E hon p e l Te

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The kind of kids everyone loves to hate.

BAN THE BUDGIE SMUGGLERS Words Rupert Truscott-Hughes Picture Con Servative


hile I generally leave calls for the banning of particular pieces of clothing to the red necks and racists with a vendetta against various forms of religious headwear, recent happenings have led me to jump on the bandwagon. But it’s not burqas that I have beef with. Nor is it niqabs that get up my nostrils. And hijabs are definitely not haram in my conservative little corner of the world. Rather, I would like to see a nationwide ban slapped on the precocious slither of lycra that has seen far too much time in the sun, so to speak, particularly of late. I am, of course, talking about budgie smugglers. Long before the Budgy Smuggler brand came into being, back in the 1960s in fact, a bloke by the name of Peter Travis designed the original Speedo swim trunks. This man has a hell of a lot to answer for. With the introduction of Speedos, men’s swimming trunks became shorter than ever before, and men’s packages became far more prominent at beaches, rivers and swimming pools around the country. 62 The Beast | November 2016

Adopted by our elite athletes, the limited cloth meant less drag than previous designs, meaning faster times in the water. While the muscular Adonises who generally ruled the pool did justice to this swimwear trend, less athletic types quickly adopted the style and within no time every Tom, Harry and a hell of a lot of Dicks were hanging out with barely a hint of humility. Thanks mainly to the popularity of less revealing surf style swim trunks and the greater self-awareness of the modern Australian male, budgie smugglers seemed to largely disappear from our public beaches and swimming pools until quite recently. Sure, blokes still whipped them out for training purposes and around the backyard pool, but they became far less prevalent in the casual aquatic environment. After many years in the wilderness, it took none other than former Prime Minister Tony Abbott to again give dick-stickers the time of day he obviously thought they deserved. That said, I strongly doubt that the appearance of Tony in his tight red loin cloth did anything to spike sales.

In more recent times, the humble swim brief grabbed headlines when nine young Australian males whipped off their outer layers and unveiled undergarments emblazoned with the Malaysian flag at a grand prix event in the notoriously conservative South East Asian country. Needless to say the group, now better known as the ‘Budgie Nine’, were promptly thrown into the pen with the threat of a twoyear prison sentence, and a media shit-storm ensued. While the focus of said shitstorm swayed from criticism of Australians’ behaviour overseas, to white male privilege, to the schooling backgrounds of the nine perpetrators (I still have absolutely no idea how a public or private education is in any way relevant to this saga), very few outlets touched on the most salient point of the whole palaver: there’s nothing much to like about men in minimal amounts of lycra, Malaysian flag or otherwise. So on the back this observation, I’m making a bold call. Let’s ban the budgie smugglers for the sake of our nation!



In the old days, men and lifesavers used to wear one-pieces and it made it harder to swim and to rescue people. Budgie smugglers make it easier, and they’re better to get a tan in. So no, they shouldn’t be banned.



Definitely not. If girls can wear bikinis to the beach, then guys should be able to wear budgie smugglers!


Maybe in the appropriate environment, such as the beach, they are acceptable.

Of course not! I’m all about showing a bit of skin.


I have no issues with them on the beach, but as soon as you’re off the beach, you’re wearing undies. So definitely ban them off the beach.


From a human rights perspective, no, but from an aesthetic perspective, definitely. November 2016 | The Beast 63

Beach fishing at Minnie Water, north of Coffs Harbour.

WEEKENDS AWAY WETTING A LINE Words and Picture Dan Trotter


eekends away with mates are one of the highlights of an addicted angler’s calendar, especially when the weather is warm, the sea is calm, the beer is cold and the food is tasty. It’s on weekends like these that lifelong memories are made. As I write this, it’s the Friday arvo before a weekend like the one described above. The destination is the Coffs Coast with 20-plus mates, campfires, barbecues, fishing, diving, hangovers, tall stories and more side-splitting laughs than you could possibly imagine. Hopefully we will catch some fish! I just love November fishing new currents, new season species, warm weather, big fish, and balmy, long spring nights. It is always hard to decide what to fish for in the eleventh month of the year: mahi mahi, big kings, marlin, mulloway, snapper, whiting or the bread and butter species that taste so good on the plate. It’s a blessing to be so spoilt for choice. For many, the call of the wide 64 The Beast | November 2016

big blue will be too hard to resist. Whilst there can be days between fish, when the mayhem does finally arrive, the adrenalin-filled seconds, minutes or hours disappear into the never-never, replaced by the elation of fleeting triumph. Small boat fishing is one thing Australian anglers do better than almost every other angling fraternity in the world, and for this we are regularly rewarded. Sneaking out before dawn or running home under the cover of darkness are special treats very few others get to enjoy. For readers of The Beast keen to get out for a fish and a feast, may I suggest taking a multifaceted approach to your fishing days this month. Start with catching fresh bait, run wider to the FADs early and see if you can be the first there for your chance of metre-plus sized mahi mahi, then switch focus and target kings on the tide. If this doesn’t produce the goods, then a quick flathead drift on the 50 and 70-metre sand patches is a great way to save the day. Plus there’s

every chance that you’ll have some succulent squid or delectable mackerel in the tank, which in many people’s opinion provides the tastiest meals of all. On the home waters of the harbour, Sydney’s mascot - the mighty yellowtail kingfish - is hard to beat. Slow trolling or down-rigging live baits is the way to find where the schools are holding. Keep a keen eye on the sounder and work steep vertical drop-offs, deep moorings and markers, whilst also keeping your eyes peeled for surface activity, which can often give the game away. Off the sand or the ocean rocks, pick the weather and never fish when it’s rough or dangerous. Worthy species for local sessions include luderick, drummer, whiting, bream and squid. As always, it is important in a world of growing populations and shrinking resources to only catch what you can eat fresh, and take a conservation-minded approach to all your fishing activities. Tight lines and fun times!

NOVEMBER 2016 TIDE CHART Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Picture Erik Janousek MONDAY




2 0402 1028 1657 2256

0.47 1.67 0.39 1.35

3 0436 1103 1737 2336

0.51 1.66 0.42 1.31

1 0330 0954 1619 2217

0.44 1.67 0.38 1.40

8 0311 0846 1509 2201

1.22 0.71 1.47 0.48

9 0415 0959 1616 2258

1.29 0.67 1.49 0.42

10 0515 1107 1721 2349

1.39 0.59 1.54 0.35

15 0258 0921 1550 2155

0.23 1.98 0.11 1.59

16 0346 1012 1645 2250

0.27 2.00 0.11 1.52

17 0436 1102 1741 2346

0.34 1.97 0.15 1.45

23 0452 1045 1650 2318

1.35 0.69 1.40 0.50

30 0300 0930 1602 2157

0.48 1.73 0.37 1.36

7 0207 0739 1405 2100

1.21 0.70 1.48 0.52

14 0210 0832 1457 2100

0.21 1.91 0.15 1.63

21 0249 0828 1445 2135

1.30 0.66 1.54 0.45

22 0353 0936 1548 2230

1.31 0.69 1.45 0.49

28 0152 0821 1449 2041

0.47 1.67 0.43 1.38

29 0226 0855 1526 2118

0.47 1.71 0.39 1.37

Maroubra stand off.

24 0544 1.41 1149 0.65 1746 1.37




4 0514 0.56 1142 1.62 1819 0.46

5 0020 0555 1223 1907

1.26 0.61 1.57 0.49

6 0110 0643 1310 2001

1.22 0.66 1.52 0.52

11 0607 1.52 1210 0.48 1818 1.59

12 0037 0656 1307 1914

0.28 1.67 0.35 1.63

13 0124 0744 1402 2007

0.23 1.80 0.24 1.65

18 0529 0.42 1154 1.90 1838 0.23

19 0045 0624 1248 1937

1.38 0.51 1.79 0.32

20 0145 0723 1345 2036

1.32 0.60 1.66 0.40

25 0002 0629 1244 1836

26 0042 0709 1330 1920

0.48 1.55 0.53 1.37

27 0117 0746 1412 2001

0.47 1.62 0.47 1.38

0.49 1.48 0.59 1.37

• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter

Making a meal of a seal.

TO KILL A MOCKING SEAL Words Pascal Geraghty Picture Heidi Klum


ould it ever be justified to pump a playful seal full of lead? The answer is no, of course. But could it ever be understandable? Some years ago I played witness to a seal being lined up in the crosshairs of a rifle and fired upon from the back deck of a boat. The piece looked like it hadn’t seen action since the American Civil War, so my immediate concern was one of personal safety. I was unsure whether the projectile was likely to be loosed forwards, backwards or sideways. Then I was flat-out registering what was playing out before my very eyes. I confess I didn’t throw myself in front of the firearm in protest. His boat, his rules. Besides, 30 miles out to sea and in the company of a crew of suspect characters isn’t the wisest place to tear shreds off a furious skipper armed to the back teeth. As a man of principle I certainly didn’t agree with the actions of this fisherman-cum-marksman. Quite frankly, I was in a state of disbelief. Do I regret not making a strong 66 The Beast | November 2016

stand against what was on the surface a disgraceful and callous act? I’m still not sure. On the one hand yes, but on the other I can see the perpetrator’s point of view. It was aboard a commercial fishing boat a long steam from shore off the NSW coast. It was the wee hours of the morning, still pitch black. Out of the darkness we noticed a seal had joined us. He may as well have been wearing a dinner suit, tucked serviette and holding a knife and fork. We knew he’d lobbed in for an easy meal. Sure enough he started pinching quality fish off the lines frustratingly close to the boat and devouring them just out of reach. It was obvious from the skipper’s reaction that this wasn’t the first time Mr Seal had dropped by to thieve his catch, nor was a psychology degree a prerequisite to know that he was up to here with it. With the yelling, shouting, splashing and threats falling on deaf ears (or lack thereof ), out came the antique hardware as the last resort. A floodlight was rigged up and the shot rang out.

Although I saw it all go down, in actual fact I never did see how effective the shot was. I can’t confirm if it was fatal, caused injury or missed altogether, but that’s not really the point here. It’s the principle of it. On paper it’s a shocking, not to mention illegal, act. How’s the poor seal supposed to understand what is happening? He’s simply doing what seals do: being cheeky and eating fish. He didn’t deserve that treatment. But when you learn of the immense time and effort invested, the tough and dangerous environment endured, the heavy running and maintenance costs of the boat and equipment, and the withering fuel, bait and tackle bills, all to catch fish to eke out a living and support a family, you start to wonder what you would do in the same situation. Picture your hard-earned cash (in this case fish) effectively being taken from you right before your eyes, right under your nose. What would you do? Would it make you mad? How long before you considered taking drastic action?



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November 2016 | The Beast 67

mastery of ripped jeans in a variety of washes and skinny to slim silhouettes. NEUW DENIM Based in Melbourne, this brand focuses on innovative denim offering real attention to detail. Designer Par Lundqvist has an intimate knowledge of traditional denim making. He uses the best fits, fabrics, details and finishes from the past 100 years to create very sharp-looking modern jeans from light washes through to deep indigos and pure blacks.

Nickolas from Maroubra

Leon van Megen from North Bondi.

AUSSIE MENSWEAR LABELS ON THE UP AND UP Words and Pictures Sharmin Musca, Personal Stylist


here’s been a resurgence of Aussie menswear labels over the past few years, with local designers crafting stylish and wearable casual clothing without the usual hefty price tag – there’s little excuse now for any bloke to be dressing like a bogan. From surf-inspired denim to the enduring athleisure trend, here are some uber-stylish Aussie menswear labels that won’t break the bank… ASSEMBLY LABEL Sydney-based design duo Damien Horan and Daniel Oliver started Assembly Label with men’s collections based around beachside living and wardrobe essentials. The brand’s offering now also embraces denim, outerwear and accessories for men and women. Check out their Bondi Road concept store for clean-lined, minimalist summer staples.

68 The Beast | November 2016

VENROY Venroy began as a Sydney swim short label launched in 2010 by friends Theo Smallbone and Sean Venturi. It now offers a complete leisurewear range online and at its newly opened Gould Street store in Bondi. With a focus on fine fabrics - linen, cashmere and cotton - these guys design everyday comfort pieces like shorts, chinos, shirts and tees that can easily be dressed up or down. THE PEOPLE VS. Bondi-based with a flagship Gould Street store, The People Vs. create vintage-inspired unisex grunge fashion for the moment. Think contemporary streetwear with retro surf-punk styling and rock nostalgia. They craft clothes in authentic washes, dyes and patterning techniques for a lived in, vintage feel with a particular

AUTONOMY Autonomy is a streetwear label from Melbourne, created by graphic designer/DJ/music producer Nick Demkiw. Back in 2003 it began with a range of t-shirts. Now the brand has extended its offering to trousers, shirts and separates. Pick up their simple, well-designed men’s fashion staples and off-beat prints online or at the flagship store next time you’re in Melbourne. On the streets this month I found: NAME Nickolas OCCUPATION Operations manager at George & King Menswear LIVES Maroubra STREET STYLE Nickolas wears jeans by Ksubi, shirt by Jac+Jack over a Topman tee, Ray-ban sunnies and Vans trainers. NAME Leon van Megen OCCUPATION Photographer at Stemp Digital LIVES North Bondi STREET STYLE Leon wears jeans, tee, sunglasses and trainers by Saturdays NYC, all from the Bondi flagship store on Gould Street. Need help with your wardrobe or want to update your look? Sharmin Musca is a Personal Stylist who helps men and women of all ages, shapes and sizes. You can call her on 0405518155 or email

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November 2016 | The Beast 69

Wine wankers at work.

THE UNRELIABLE GUIDE TO... WINE SNOBBERY Words Nat Shepherd Picture Clare Valley


ow before we start I should let you know that I love wine. Unlike beer, it doesn’t blow you up like a pregnant balloon, and unlike spirits, an overdose of Merlot probably won’t make you bite a policeman or try to climb the sails of the Opera House. Good wine is wonderful, and it makes sense to pay a bit of attention to the wines that make you go yum, and avoid the ones that fill your mouth with the taste of cheesy battery fluid and give you hiccups for a week. I get that, but the problem is that some people take it all too far. Here are some clues to help you identify if you, your partner or your besties are leaning towards wine wankery… KEEPING A WINE DIARY While this makes sense on many levels, it really shouldn’t be encouraged. It starts simply enough: you have a nice wine and jot down the name so you can buy it again. Unfortunately this can get out of hand and lead to some serious wankery. A friend of mine started out making

70 The Beast | November 2016

notes on his favourite wines and within a couple of months he was reading us out extracts: “‘The Jolly Dog’, bought from Dan Murphy’s on October 21, 2015. A witty combination of Merlot and cheeky Grenache, with just a hint of Shiraz for sarcasm. Well priced at $170 the half bottle. Will cellar well for 5 but no more than 6 weeks. Serve with swan rissoles, Guatemalan brie or Cheetos.”

only good for cleaning windows. But if the region is right, good wine can be grown in all kinds of places. If you declare that you will only drink New Zealand whites or Chilean reds, you sound like a five-year-old who will only drink Fanta. Stop it.

JUDGING A WINE BY ITS PRICE Not a lot of people know this, but it’s true: wine is not nice just because it is expensive. I’ve had some horrible expensive wines. Likewise, cheap wine is not necessarily rubbish. I gave a wine-wanky friend a beautiful glass of Cab Sav from a bottle that cost under $5. He loved it... until I told him the price. Don’t believe the hype.

GRAPE RACISM This goes hand-in hand with the xenophobia, but with a little more reasoning behind it. I have never ever drunk a Chardonnay and enjoyed it, and all Rieslings taste like nanna perfume to me, but I gave both grapes a fair go before deciding that I didn’t like them. Keep on trying new things and don’t be like the couple I overheard at the Italian restaurant who ordered beer just because all the wines on the menu were made from unfamiliar Italian grape varieties. Boring!

EXHIBITING XENOPHOBIA I grant you, Icelandic wine is probably rubbish because it’s freezing cold there most of the time. Likewise Thai wine is really

Finally, the Unreliable Guide suggests that you remember the whole point of wine - it’s a tasty drink that gets you a bit pissed. That’s it, end of conversation.


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cies are sorted into three simple groups: what you shouldn’t eat and why, species you should try to avoid, and the most sustainable choices. LOVE YOUR LEFTOVERS Faced with a fridge of leftovers and at a loss for ideas for dinner? This clever app helps you to find the perfect recipe for those ingredients. It will also show you how to plan your meals to avoid food waste, sort your shopping list, and provide storage tips to keep food fresher for longer.

Techy tools to make you more sustainable.

SEVEN FREE APPS TO HELP YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE Words Nicola Saltman Picture Kulkas Rusak


hese days, making sustainability part of your everyday can be as easy as jumping on your smartphone or tablet. Whether you’re into design and fashion, clean streets, great recipes, or you’re after a new fridge, you can bet there’s an app to help you make planet-friendly choices. Check out these free techy tools that are at your fingertips to make sustainability second nature… RECYCLESMART With National Recycling week on our doorstep this November, get the low-down on how to correctly dispose of around 200 items including plastics, glass, batteries, pizza boxes and more. Check out Council’s guidelines, plus tips on how to do the right thing. Thanks Planet Ark! GOOD ON YOU – ETHICAL CONSUMERS ASSOCIATION

72 The Beast | November 2016

Set up by a social enterprise in Sydney, this app lets you make a difference every time you shop. You can choose brands based on ratings across three key categories: people, the planet and animals. ENERGY RATING Shopping around for a new fridge, dishwasher, TV or even computer? This app helps you choose products that mean lower energy bills and a smaller carbon footprint. You can easily compare running costs of appliances and equipment, linked to simple star ratings like those you see on stickers in the shops. SUSTAINABLE SEAFOOD GUIDE Thanks to the Australian Marine Conservation Society, you can easily check whether the fish you’re buying is overfished or sourced sustainably. Over 90 seafood spe-

ABC VEGIE GUIDE vegie_app.htm Whether you’re a newbie to growing vegies or a seasoned green thumb, this is your go-to guide. You can check what’s best to plant, when to plant it (it’s even tailored to Sydney’s climate zone), get growing and pest control tips, and set reminders to harvest your tasty garden crops. REPORT LITTER AND POLLUTION reporttoepa.htm Keen to keep our local area clean and pollution-free? You can now easily report incidents like littering from vehicles and smoky cars while you’re on the go with this simple app. The NSW Environment Protection Agency will then sort it out at their end. OTHER APPS YOU MAY LIKE Freecycle Share, swap and giveaway unwanted items. NextThere Public transport travel options. Oroeco Custom advice on cutting your carbon footprint plus travel and energy bill saving. What’s your favourite app? Email secondnature@waverley. and let us know. Pledge today to do your bit at


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Pamela Young and Bill Peach

Go to “Personal Change Through Self Hypnosis” and visit the Vivid Publishing website, or see’s orientation is the empowerment of the reader... wealth of information... excellent review of hypnotic techniques...

Dr. James Auld, Chair, Australian Society of Hypnosis Board of Education

For full listing see List Of Professionally Recorded Hypnosis Inductions By Pamela Young • • • • • • • •

Sporting Enhancement Exam Nerves Controlled Drinking Teeth Grinding Panic Attacks Skin Problems Nailbiting Public Speaking

...and 36 more By Bill Peach

• Insomnia • Cigarette Smoking • Study Problems (Concentration, Motivation, Exam Nerves) • Tumours (Self Recorded) • Weight Loss

November 2016 | The Beast 73

The selection of boards at Sunburnt Mess is about as good as it gets.

QTIPS #11 - A TIGHT LIST OF TOP SURF SHOPS AROUND BONDI Words Ben Stephens Picture Pat the Rat


s the great Jed Smith once uttered: “Shredheads, waxheads, kooks and barneys…”. He was welcoming you to his hit web series The Pipeline, throwing out an all-encompassing salutation to everyone from the true tube rats to the WSL Fantasy League chumps. That said, we all fall into one of the categories above and if the performance of John John Florence at the moment is the level of comparison, then colour me kook. Regardless of where you sit on the scale, it’s spring and time to get amongst it. If you find yourself in the position of needing to replace a couple of fins or grab a brand new stick, we have a tight list of top surf shops around Bondi that can help you out…

don’t swim until an hour after eating or the boys in blue will have to come scoop you up!

VIDA SURF STORE Got a hankering for an acai bowl, but find yourself in need of getting a board sorted out at the same time? Look no further than the team at Vida. Delivering the freshest bowls of acai goodness, as well as stocking some damn fine Pyzel boards, they'll have you out the back in no time. But remember,

SATURDAYS NYC Saturdays has a vibe that makes you want to order a coffee and take a seat for the next couple of hours while you discuss other aesthetically pleasing shopfronts that you've come across in your travels. Don't let the small store fool you, though. It packs an absolute punch. With boards from Hayden

74 The Beast | November 2016

SUNBURNT MESS From the team behind Surf Culture in Bondi Junction comes their Bondi Beach store with a focus on top quality boutique gear. Adorning this new set up on Gould Street are Aussie made hand-foiled fins from the team at Alkali, wetsuits from the ethically correct legends at Patagonia, and boards by a whole range of top shapers including CIS, Vouch, Daniels Surfboards, and Byron Bay fan favourite McTavish. Give Pat Cahill a call if you're looking for a custom made situation and they'll get the ball rolling for you.

Shapes, Christenson, and those unique little whips from Almond, you'll find hardware here that you won’t want to ragdoll across a Tahitian reef with. Pick up a couple of tea towels while you're in store too. They'll add a great little kick to any humble kitchen. LET’S GO SURFING If you are still in the kook box and haven't committed to a stick just yet, check out the selection from our good friends at Let’s Go Surfing. They offer a whole range of totally rad soft boards with the pink Mullet Biscuit coming in at a height of 5'4”, and other options all the way up to 6'7” if that's more your game. Also, if you need any lessons, the team here can get you standing up in no time. The QT Concierge App, your little black book to the best of Bondi – cafes, bars, shops, restaurants, activities and more – is out now. Download it at https://itunes.

No ugly high-rises here.



he famed statue of David, the Ponte Vecchio, the exquisite Florence Cathedral and the Uffizi Gallery, jam-packed with works of art by greats such as Michelangelo, Botticelli, Caravaggio and Leonardo da Vinci, are just some of the reasons to visit Florence. What I found pleasing about Florence was that in our three-day visit we literally walked our way around the entire city. Which, in hindsight, was a bonus considering the copious amounts of pasta, pizza and gelato we consumed. It wasn't enough to want to look, speak and act like Italians, we morphed into the local way of life and from the moment we arrived we ate like Italians! When back home, healthy smoothies, activated nuts, fish, chicken and salads are the usual fare, but not in Italy. Every morning our breakfast consisted of savoury croissants (prosciutto, salami, cheeses), sweet croissants (mainly nutella and jam-filled numbers) and other pastry delicacies that were seriously unkind to a once-buff Bondi body. This was why getting around on foot was vital. One of the great walks in Florence is the one you take to get to the highest point of the city, Piazzale Michelangelo, where the

76 The Beast | November 2016

views of the Arno River, the Ponte Vecchio and all of the other iconic structures are incredibly impressive. At Piazzale Michelangelo there is an exact replica of the original marble statue of the disrobed David, but in bronze, in all his naked glory, standing there looking like a sentinel guarding the city. After what he did to Goliath, I couldn't think of a better person to look over Florence. Winding our way back down the narrow cobblestone streets, we made our way to the Accademia di Belle Arti Firenze, where the original Michelangelo statue of David, carved from a single block of marble no less, is displayed. A number of iconic artworks such as the Mona Lisa and some Salvador Dali paintings don't have much of an impact when you first see them because of their small size. The exact opposite is true when it comes to the statue of David. The location where this iconic sculpture is placed allows the natural light to fall on it, giving it a God-like aura. This good-looking nude guy with large hands and feet who slayed the giant stops you in your tracks at first sighting. Not everything is large, though… To have grown up hearing about the great Michelangelo and to have now been to see his work is

quite moving; you realise what an absolute genius he was. Making our way back to our hotel, we visited the breathtaking Florence Cathedral. Words and pictures can't do this cathedral justice. The more you look at it, the more astonishing it appears. The different types of marble used, the carvings, colour, design and size of this structure are mindboggling. The line to get inside snaked around the cathedral for hundreds of metres and with the hot afternoon sun beating down upon us we decided to go down early the next morning when the streets were empty to give us a better perspective of this exceptional structure. Near the Florence Cathedral was another square/piazza called Piazza della Signoria, which also has a multitude of near naked statues on display, along with a giant bronzed turtle. The atmosphere was glorious at this square; the warm summer evening breeze, the two buskers playing some of the best live music I’ve heard, the buzz of people, the architecture and the multitude of strategically placed statues on the square itself ensured this day in Florence will go down as one of my most memorable travel days. From the square it was a brief walk to the Ponte Vecchio, the bridge famous for the old jewellery stores that seem to cling to the sides of this ancient structure, which draws in massive crowds of people all vying for space to photograph a gorgeous Italian sunset. To complete our cultural tour of Florence, we spent our last day visiting the renowned Uffizi Gallery to view some of the world’s greatest Renaissance art and sculptures. With so much history and culture on display, we needed to sit down, relax and have another carb-filled meal of pizza, pasta and gelato. There were some days when we ate so much that by dinnertime all we could fit in was some more gelato. I love Italy! How to get there Vicki Gilden at Rose Bay Travel (02) 9371 8166

It's hard to plough someone you hate.

HOW TO DEAL WITH A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP Words Matty Silver, Sex Therapist Picture Carrie Bradshaw


t's disturbing how often I see couples in my practice who, in their first session, just fight and accuse each other of the most terrible things. When I ask them why they are still together, they tell me it’s "because we love each other; we would like you to help us". Often all I can see is a toxic relationship that is far from easy to fix. Too frequently these couples are in argument cycles; they constantly argue about the same issues. Even if the topic of the arguments does change, the underlying triggers for the fighting stay the same. Failing to address and discuss these issues can ultimately lead to a divorce or relationship breakdown. The biggest problem with toxic relationships is that you can't really recognise them at first, and it may take a long time to realise you are in one. There are four main communication styles that can predict the end of a relationship: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. When you criticise your partner, you attack your partner's personality rather than his or her behav78 The Beast | November 2016

iour. By blaming the partner for a problem, we usually believe he or she has not met our expectations in some way. In both situations, whatever is going wrong, it's the fault of the other person. One of the issues my couples often have is the complaint of one of the partners that their sex life has become almost non-existent and that it's the other person's fault. It's not always easy to talk about sexual issues, but being criticised doesn't make the other partner feel like having sex in the first place. Contempt is having a complete disregard for your partner. The message to him or her is that they are not appreciated, understood or respected. The contemptuous partner knows exactly when to attack from a place of superiority, which damages the wellbeing of the partner. This not a safe and secure environment for children to grow up in; it creates insecurity and anxiety that they may suffer into adulthood. Defensiveness commonly occurs when a person feels attacked,

threatened or judged. Some couples can be so focused on being defensive that it becomes automatic. It doesn't matter what their partner tells them, they will react negatively. Becoming defensive can also be a strategy to deal with pressure. Without proper communication between partners, it will be very difficult to start solving these problems. Stonewalling happens when one half of the couple refuses to participate in an interaction. Behaviours include withdrawing from the conversation, leaving the room, or giving the partner the silent treatment. Why is it that the partner who is stonewalling doesn't understand that this behaviour simply encourages their other half to withdraw? The reality is that toxic relationships will gradually make you very unhappy and will lower your self-esteem to the point where you don't remember what it feels like to feel good anymore. By learning to recognise the dangers, you can take steps towards making a toxic relationship healthy again.

You just have to hope the sharks aren't hungry.

SWIM OUT PAST THE BREAKERS Words Alasdair McClintock Picture Billy Ocean


he human being is a mighty strange creature. What other animal will not just flirt with death in the pursuit of pleasure, but dry hump its side like a Chihuahua that’s chewed through an entire packet of its owner’s Cialis? We jump out of aeroplanes, climb sheer cliff faces with no harnesses and, here in the Eastern Suburbs, you will often see a bunch of lunatics out beyond the surfers in little more than an old pair of togs and a set of goggles. The metronomic wave of their arms serves as a signal to the lifeguards that they’re still out there, still swimming. It is a nice sight. More so when you consider the unique sort of insanity that compels these individuals to paddle out there and serve themselves up on a platter. We will begin to see more of them over the next few weeks as the ocean swimming season really begins to kick off. If you’re keen enough, there’s an official event

80 The Beast | November 2016

somewhere in Sydney every weekend once the season starts. One of the first events on the calendar is the Coogee Island Challenge on November 27, but the highlight locally is undoubtedly the famed Bondi to Bronte, which takes place on the first weekend of December. Every once in a while I try my hand at this queer pastime and delve into the darkness beyond. I am not ashamed to admit that it scares the shit out of me. After all, it is a rational fear. In occasional moments of wild paranoia, I still fear a slimy green hand is going to grab my ankles and drag me down to the great depths - even when I’m in the bloody Bogey Hole! I know it won’t happen, of course, but on a drizzly day with no one else around, irrational childhood fears can really begin to settle in. I do not share this fear on a surfboard. The fibreglass between me and the depths below gives me some comfort. False comfort perhaps, but comfort nonethe-

less. The fact that I surf also led me to believe that I was naturally a strong swimmer, but about six months ago I realised I was living in a fantasy world. Not quite a Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory fantasy (thank Christ, as those goddamn OompaLoompas would soon turn it into a nightmare), but more a mildly delusional alternate reality. In support of my fiancée, who was training for a triathlon, I thought I’d accompany her to the local pool and punch out a few laps. And that I did. But after five hundred metres my arms were jelly and my whole body felt like a piece of lead. None of this has anything to do with the mad lot doing hot laps behind the breakers, of course. Those guys are in a league of their own. And while they can’t see it, you can be assured that while they’re out there waving rhythmically, I’ll be waving back at them from the safety of the shallows.


Inviting all pupils, educators and families from 1976-2016 to join us in celebrating 40 years of education

Bring the Swim SchooL to your home PooL! Parent & Baby classes Learn to swim for all ages Stroke correction Adult Lessons Pool Party Packages

When: Saturday, November 29 from 1-5pm Where: Wee Care Kindergarten 7 St Marys Avenue, Bondi RSVP: Facebook: Are you a qualified swim instructor? Visit our website to apply for the best job this summer!

41 GOULD STreet BONDI BEACH 2026 PH: 0427 403 330 E: INFO@SUNBURNTMESS.COM WWW.SUNBURNTMESS.COM November 2016 | The Beast 81

SUBJECT Altocumulus LOCATION Bondi PHOTOGRAPHER Anthony Glick INSTA @anthonyglick

SUBJECT Turbulence LOCATION Bronte PHOTOGRAPHER Sebastian Elmaloglou



SUBJECT Rising from the dead LOCATION Bronte PHOTOGRAPHER Will Lafolafo

The Beast Magazine wants your local photos!


SUBJECT Refresh LOCATION Bondi PHOTOGRAPHER Amaury Tréguer INSTA @morningbondi

SUBJECT Alien invasion LOCATION Bondi PHOTOGRAPHER Miriam Chaplyn

SUBJECT Full moon rising LOCATION Bondi PHOTOGRAPHER Anthony Glick INSTA @anthonyglick

SUBJECT Shorey LOCATION Bronte PHOTOGRAPHER Sebastian Elmaloglou

Please send them to

You can catch Castlecomer at Manning Bar on December 2.



clectic Sydney rockers Castlecomer are about to set out on an east coast tour to unleash their new EP, All of the Noise. During the month we fired a few questions at Castlecomer bass player Joe Kennedy… My first memory of music is… obviously The Wiggles! I’m a 90s kid. Yeah Jeff, wake up mate! Growing up my parents listened to… The Eagles, The Beatles, Sting and Paul Simon, but my dad’s absolute favourite was always James Taylor.

name says it all, really. All of these songs were favourites as soon as they were brought to the band and we are really at a stage where we want make a whole lot of noise. There was one time when we were starting out... that we were really shit. Actually, there may have been more than one time. If I could have chosen one song to have written it would have to be... ‘Miserere’ by Gregorio Allegri. I'd be rich!

If you come to see us play, you can expect... energy, fun and maybe something a little saucy.

Our favourite song to perform would have to be... ‘Escapism’. It is really raw and when we lock in together it really gets us pumped up. Although recently I have been really enjoying playing our new track, ‘Judy’. It’s kind of slick and sexy and seems to get everyone grooving.

Our new EP, All of the Noise, is… hopefully infectious enough to get people moving and grooving. The

The best thing about the local music scene is… that Sydney still seems to be able to create some

Our dream gig... would definitely be Glastonbury.

84 The Beast | November 2016

prodigious bands, despite all the venue closures. One person we’d still really like to record with is… Mark Ronson. He’s white funk (rare). Our biggest fan has got be… Donald Trump. He is quoted as saying, “We’re gonna build a wall and write their name on it; they are gonna be huuuge!” I’ll know we have made it when... I don’t have to live in the cupboard under the stairs at Uncle Vernon’s place. Our next Sydney gig… is at Manning Bar at Sydney University on December 2. It is going to be huuuge! To find out more about Castlecomer, please visit… or





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ALBUM #1 Artist Sticky Fingers Album Westway Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  The Inner West lads are back with an album born of times so dark they apparently almost kicked the bucket on the whole darn band. They say from depression comes great art, however, and as a result we’ve been treated to one of their best releases to date. Behind each track lies a nostalgic melancholy that I think anyone over 25 years old can probably relate to. The easy reggae rhythms of their early years are growing into something more solid and, dare I say, grounded. Sometimes the party lifestyle wears you down so much you just need to chill the heck out and eat a burrito.

ALBUM #2 MOVIE REVIEW TITLE Elle GENRE Drama, Thriller, Foreign REVIEWER Linda Heller-Salvador Only a director of Paul Verhoeven’s (Black Book, Starship Troopers, Basic Instinct) calibre could take the award winning and controversial novel ‘Oh…’ by Philippe Djian (Betty Blue) - which has sadomasochistic elements, dark humour and a very disturbing assault scene - and create a provocatively stylish psychological thriller. You will be over-analysing every turn of a head, every blink of an eye and every word spoken, yet you will still be left wondering whether you should be enjoying it or not. But enjoy you should, if only for the sheer audacity with which it turns convention on its head. This is undoubtedly one of Isabelle Huppert’s finest performances to date. She is unflinching and phenomenal in her role as Michèle LeBlanc, a successful businesswoman who, after being callously attacked in her home, tracks her attacker down and begins a dangerous cat-and-mouse game that threatens to quickly spiral out of control. Elle will alienate and be uncomfortable viewing for some audience members, and it is sure to spawn discussions on the ambiguous morals and complexities of human nature. While this film is probably not for the overly prudish, it is definitely well worth the effort for those who can see past the initial unconventionality of Michèle’s choices. 86 The Beast | November 2016

Artist Bon Iver Album 22, A Million Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  I tire of all the hipster bashing these days, but when a bunch of people crowded around a cassette player in a Melbourne alleyway for a surprise listening party the day 22, A Million came out, I couldn’t help but think, who are these wankers? They may as well all have screamed, “We are pretentious tools!” at the top of their lungs. To a certain extent, that is exactly what Bon Iver is doing here. Heavy on auto-tune and glitch beats that have you continually checking your audio connection, he’s evidently been hanging around Kanye too much. I’ve always liked Bon Iver, but everything about this feels overworked.

ALBUM #3 Artist Banks Album The Altar Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  You could be forgiven for listening to this and thinking you were actually listening to Banks’s first album. For all the press releases and interviews announcing a bold new direction, it sounds pretty much the same to me. This isn’t necessarily an entirely bad thing, as the first album was quite good, but it does limit its ‘wow’ factor. There are a couple of ‘ah, yeah’ moments, which hopefully point to an exciting and bright future, but these aren’t words you’d freely associate with Banks, even at her best. This is dark and broody as hell, yet a little too formulaic to be believable.

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Madeleine Gray Picture Anthony Glick Instagram @anthonyglick LOCAL PHOTOGRAPHER EXHIBITS Local artist Annie Gordon takes surf photos that celebrate our stunning local surrounds, and capture the rawness and the power of the ocean. Her works are currently being shown at a photographic exhibition held at the Sydney Children's Hospital, Level 2, High Street, Randwick until November 24. Using a funky fisheye lens gives the images a totally distorted and unexpectedly humorous feel. Even better, a percentage of the sales go towards the Children's Hospital Foundation. To see more of Annie’s work, visit LOCAL BAND STRIKES NERVE Relatively recent arrivals on the local band scene, Vegas Nerve are making a name for themselves as the band that will surprise you. How so? There are six of them (three women and three men), their ages span over three decades, and they delight in swapping instruments (sax, violin, keys and guitars). Oh, and the lead singer sounds like Adele. Having featured in the Spectrum Now Festival and with a growing fan base, they are launching their debut CD on Sunday, November 27 at the Coogee Diggers Club. For more information, please visit


ART COLLECTIVE MOVES TO CHARING CROSS Le Petit Bateau art collective has now established a permanent location, sharing a shop and garden with the fabulously gorgeous Vincent & Dupree hair salon on Bronte Road. In the past, Le Petit Bateau (‘LPB’) has held weekly exhibitions and events in secret and unique places around Sydney, offering interesting perspectives from local and international artists. Check out the new store, get inspired by the artistic talent, and who knows, maybe get a haircut too.

STAND UP FOR COUNTRY – HOSTED BY LOCK THE GATE Stingray Sisters is a new documentary about life in Arnhem Land and three sisters who stand up to plans for big oil and gas drilling. Meet John Krey and hear his story about a NSW town’s existential struggle with Rio Tinto’s coal mine. Be inspired by the unique social movement that is standing up for country with hope and defiance. Stand Up For Country will be held on Wednesday, November 9 from 7.30-9.30pm at the Bondi SLSC. Entry is free.

MULGA THE ARTIST MAKES KIDS' BOOK You might know Mulga’s style from his colourful murals at Bondi promenade. Now he has written and illustrated his very own children’s book. Mulga’s Magical Musical Creatures is a rhyming picture book for children that answers the question: Where does music come from? It tells the story of a musician who finds musical inspiration in his dreams. With a style that is entirely and unmistakably Mulga, this fun and colourful story will delight readers of all ages with its fantastically quirky creatures. Buy the book from and all good bookshops.

STARS OF THE EAST A surf club president, school teacher and police officer are just some of the personalities that will come together to raise funds for Cancer Council NSW as part of Stars of the East, a dance gala held on November 5 at Easts Leagues Club in Bondi Junction. The night will see 10 local business people, community leaders and cancer survivors join with professional dance instructors to perform a routine while fundraising to help people in the Eastern Suburbs affected by cancer. For more information on Cancer Council NSW’s Stars of the East, please call 9334 1450, or you can visit

Treat yourself to a bit of time-out.


Mere’ is not an adjective that a lot of Sydneysiders would elect to use when describing themselves. In conversation, ‘mere’ is often used in a derogatory sense, to emphasise triviality and insignificance. However, the word can also mean ‘slender’, or ‘minimal’. It can mean humble simplicity. It is in this sense of the word – this modest ease – that shoe designer James Noakes’ new Bondi retail and food space pertains. James launched his shoe label, Mere, back in 2008. He uses handsourced leather, and has worked with the same team in Ho Chi Minh since the label’s inception. This July, he and his partner Kelly Brooker opened Mere’s flagship store on Bondi Road, complete with a café and courtyard oasis out back. The vibe is the opposite of ostentatious – it’s ‘mere’, through and through. Inspired by his affinity with Vietnam, James’ café is a nod to all things Vietnamese, but with an Aussie edge. The interior is small – just enough room for a coffee machine and a little kitchen - but outside there sits a verdant garden, with wooden tables that smell like

88 The Beast | November 2016

the forest, and bright green plants that offer shade and respite. Our Swedish waitress Josephine told us that the café’s aim is, “To be a place for everyone. We are just trying to keep a non-stressful vibe that is friendly, welcoming and relaxing.” It seems they are succeeding. During my time in the courtyard, a bearded writer sat and jotted down notes while sipping on a piccolo latte, a surfer utilised the free WiFi, and two young European women gossiped and laughed in the corner. Though the menu is not extensive, it is well thought out. The breakfast menu sticks to the Aussie classics – think smashed avo on sourdough, bagels with smoked salmon, and gluten free granola and coconut yoghurt – and the lunch menu takes a distinctly Vietnamese turn. Come 11am, the bahn mi is where it’s at. If you’ve ever travelled in Vietnam on a budget, it’s likely you’ll know all about these delights. In short, they’re fresh, crunchy bread rolls with cucumber, tomato, pickled carrot, lettuce, coriander, chilli, mayonnaise, and your choice of either sesame

crusted tofu, slow cooked pork shoulder, or slow roasted chicken with lemon and rosemary. I chose the pork, and it was delicious. Barista and cook Nathan assured me that he pulls the pork “with love”, and I could taste it. There is also a plethora of refreshing beverages on offer, from Single Origin coffee, to a range of loose-leaf teas. I got the Vietnamese ca phe sua da (coffee, water, ice, and condensed milk), and the cold combination of sweet and bitter hit the spot perfectly. So next time you’re hurrying down busy Bondi Road, why not treat yourself to a bit of time-out? Head into Mere, sit in the sun, and switch off for a bit. Mere Store/Cafe Address 79 Bondi Road, Bondi Phone (02) 9387 7518 Instagram @merefootwear Facebook pages/bondi-shop-cafe Opening Hours Daily 9am – 5pm Prices $8 - $16 Card Accepteds All major Licensed/BYO Neither

The Weight of Cold Meat: New Paintings by Caleb Reid 10 - 26 November 2016

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Caleb Reid, Crinkle Cut Lust (2016), Acrylic, oil & charcoal on canvas, 167 x 152 cm

T +61 2 9660 7799 76 PADDINGTON ST, PADDINGTON NSW 2021


Nothing beats beers on the beach.

A BRIEF GUIDE TO SUMMER DRINKING Words Alex Russell Instagram @ozwineguy Picture Angus Stone


e’re finally coming into some warmer weather, which means our drinking patterns change. Gone are the dense reds and fortifieds of winter, and in come the whites, beers, ciders and G&Ts of summer. So what should you drink during the warmer months? GIN This might surprise you, but there are a lot of awesome Australianmade gins popping up. I’m really enjoying the range out of Four Pillars – you can order a single bottle of whatever you like direct from them online. Other personal favourites include Poor Tom’s, West Winds (‘The Sabre’ and ‘The Cutlass’, the latter of which has this really interesting bush tomato thing going on), Young Henry’s and Archie Rose. You should definitely check out Archie Rose, by the way – it’s a pretty cool place across in Rosebery. I know many gin drinkers stick with the old school favourites, but do try these. Many are behind bars, so ask for them instead of the house gin. Also, don’t skimp on the tonic water. Many cheaper ones are quite sweet and will completely kill the G&T. 90 The Beast | November 2016

BEER AND CIDER If you’re like me, then you’re enjoying the craft beer (and, increasingly, cider) scene at the moment. There are lots of great Sydney breweries, especially around the Inner West, like Young Henry’s, Batch, Grifter, Wayward, Willie the Boatman and many others. Also, it’s worth checking out Dave’s Brewery Tours. Dave will drive you from brewery to brewery, with plenty of tasting along the way, then to lunch at a great Marrickville pub (The Henson, where the pork belly burger with jalapeno mustard is possibly the best thing in the world). It’s a lot of fun. Visit WHITE WINE Sauv Blanc and friends have always been a typical go-to in the summer months. There’s also a certain snobbery from some people about Sauv Blanc drinkers. The thing is, Marlborough SB drinkers tend to stick to one thing and don’t branch out, and many of us would love to see you exploring the wonderful world of other types of wines. But hey, you drink whatever the hell you want to drink – espe-

cially if you’re paying for it. If you do want to try something else, my personal faves for summer are Riesling and Semillon. There are also interesting options in grapes you might not know of, like Fiano, or Vermentino. For Riesling (and they’re not all sweet, I promise), Clare Valley is often released very young, which means super crisp, refreshing drops. Eden Valley tends to have a broader texture, and it’s often overlooked, but there are some beautiful drops available. Don’t overlook Victoria here, either. Best’s Riesling is really good stuff. For Semillon, it’s hard to go past the Hunter. If you’ve been reading my articles for a while, you’ll know that Thomas (Braemore in particular) and Tyrrell’s (just about any of them) Semillons are top shelf. Brokenwood and so many others are great too. With all that said, it’s always worth walking into your bottle shop and talking to your local retailer. Ask for options, put together a mixed six pack or dozen to save a few bucks per bottle, and enjoy summer!

S taff Christmas Party?


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to make small pancakes, which generally hold together best. 3. To make these, drop 1 heaped tablespoon of the pea batter into the pan and press down lightly so the pancakes remain about 1–1.5cm thick. 4. Cook the pancakes for 3–4 minutes on each side, or until golden, being careful not to flip them too soon on the first side as they may fall apart. 5. Once cooked, place on a platter, cover with foil and keep them warm in the oven while you cook the rest. Pack these up in a little container to carry to the beach and keep the sauce separate. 6. Once you’re there, simply sprinkle with feta (if using), herbs and a squeeze of lemon, then serve with some homemade tomato sauce and eat. Peas to please you.

GREEN PEA PANCAKES Recipe and Image from Seasons to Share by Jacqueline Alwill


love peas - always have and always will - so it’s probably not surprising that they’ve morphed themselves into a healthy savoury pancake under my guidance. Peas are sweet, juicy and a colourful delight - full of anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties. These green pea pancakes are great for a picnic breakfast at the beach or, if you’re at home, adding a poached or boiled egg will up the ante on nutrition and flavour, too. INGREDIENTS Serves 4 Pancakes 280g (2 cups) frozen peas, blanched 1 red onion, roughly chopped 1 lime, juice and finely grated zest 3 tbsp coconut flour 1 tbsp coconut oil, plus extra for frying 5 eggs, beaten 92 The Beast | November 2016

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste To Serve 100g feta or goats cheese (optional) 1 small handful of coriander leaves 1 small handful of basil leaves 1 tablespoon finely chopped dill Lemon wedges Homemade tomato sauce or fresh tomatoes METHOD 1. Warm the oven to 150°C (300°F). Place 250g of the peas and the rest of the pancake ingredients in a food processor
and blitz to create a pea batter. Transfer to a bowl then stir through the remaining peas. 2. Warm a large frying pan on a medium to low heat and melt half a teaspoon of coconut oil at a time to cook the pancakes. I

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coconut oil, and whisk until completely smooth. 4. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix well. 5. Take tablespoons of the mixture at a time and roll into a ball between your palms. Lay the ball flat on the prepared baking tray and use a fork to flatten the ball and add some texture. Continue until you have used all of the mixture. 6. Bake the cookies for 13-15 minutes, until they have just begun to firm up (they will get crunchier as they cool).

An eclectic mix of many good things.



hese cookie sandwiches are a bit of an eclectic mix of many good things. Think Oreos meet matcha latte with a healthy dose of peanut butter; fluffy cashew cream spiked with green tea powder and some crushed pistachios sandwiched between two chewy chocolate peanut butter cookies – yum! Better still, they’re gluten-free, vegan and refined sugar-free. INGREDIENTS Makes around 7 cookie sandwiches Cooking time: 60 minutes Chocolate PB Cookies 1 cup buckwheat or brown rice flour 1/3 cup tapioca flour 1/2 cup cacao powder 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 1 tsp salt 3/4 cup peanut butter (or any nut butter)

94 The Beast | November 2016

1/2 cup maple syrup 1/2 cup almond milk 1 tbsp coconut oil, melted Matcha Filling 1 cup raw cashews 1/2 cup maple syrup 1 1/2 tsp matcha (green tea) powder (feel free to omit this if you’re not a green tea fan) 1/2 cup coconut milk 1/4 cup coconut flour 1/4 cup pistachios, finely chopped METHOD 1. Preheat oven to 180°C (350°F) and line two baking trays with baking paper. 2. Add flours, cacao, baking powder and salt to a large bowl and stir to combine. 3. In another bowl, add peanut butter, maple, almond milk and

7. Meanwhile, make the matcha filling: add the cashews to a high strength food processor and blend for around five minutes until a smooth butter forms. Add the maple, matcha, coconut milk and coconut flour and blend until smooth. 8. Remove the cookies from the oven and place on a cooling rack. Allow to cool completely before adding the filling. 9. Take one cookie and spread a generous amount of the filling (around one tbsp) on the flat side that was touching the baking tray. Sprinkle with crushed pistachios and press them in slightly so that they stick to the filling. 10. Place another cookie on top of the filling and sandwich together. Continue with all the remaining cookies. These will last for around five days in a sealed container. Tamika Woods is a Bondi-based Nutritional and Dietetic Medicine student and recipe maker. She is the founder of Sproutly Stories, a health food website designed to encourage spending more time in the kitchen. Her wholesome recipe ideas inspire others to enjoy real food that is conveniently healthy. For more guilt-free recipes, check out

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ACROSS 1. Actor from ‘Independence Day’ and ‘Jurassic Park’ (4,8) 7. Deathly character, the Grim … (6) 8. Grieve over someone’s death (5) 9. Homer Simpson’s catchphrase (1’2) 10. Redgum song, ‘I was only …’ (8) 11. Surround, cover (7) 14. Device used to glide over snow or water (3) 16. Australian equivalent of ‘gym class’ (1,1) 17. Extremely common (4,1,5) 20. Mentally prepare for something (colloq.) (5) 21. Beatles lyric, “They are the eggmen, I am the …” (6) DOWN 1. Actor and lead singer of 30 Sec-


onds to Mars (5,4) 2. Camera light, DC superhero (5) 3. Actress from ‘The Big Chill’ and ‘Fatal Attraction’ (5,5) 4. Young woman in trouble, … in distress (6) 5. Rely on one’s past achievements, rest on one’s … (7) 6. Crime movie starring Denzel Washington and Christopher Walken (3,2,4) 12. True principle or belief (6) 13. Small body of water (4) 15. Eye colour; plant that produces nuts (5) 16. Australian dance music duo that make up one half of Empire of the Sun (4) 18. Chemical symbol for silver (2) 19. Public Internet address (1,1)

TRIVIAL TRIVIA Words Madeleine Gray Picture Amaury Tréguer Instagram @morningbondi 1. True or false: Donald Trump launched his own vodka brand in 2006? 2. Which band was first to feature a ‘devil horns’ rock hand gesture on an album cover? 3. How much will professional Australian netball players be paid on average annually in Netball Australia’s new league?

The golden hours. 96 The Beast | November 2016

4. What is the name of the creator of the cult TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer? 5. How many members make up the Australian Federal House of Representatives? 6. Which country is home to the most lakes? 7. What is the name given to a castrated rooster?

8. Does a spotcheck stargazer have feathers, fur or fins? 9. How old was Rachel McAdams when she was cast as teenager Regina George in the movie Mean Girls? 10. What is the name of the new SBS television series about the wave of gay-hate murders that occurred in Bondi during the 80s and 90s?

A private six-bedroom guesthouse, perfectly situated amongst the world renowned waves of Indonesia's famous Mentawaian Playgrounds.

CAPRICORN DEC 23-JAN 20 People who don't know you well think you're a dickhead, those close to you like you a lot. I guess that means you're a good person.

GEMINI MAY 21-JUN 21 Don't be afraid of what you don't know. Travel the world, open your mind and you'll realise that there's nothing to fear... except America.

AQUARIUS JAN 21-FEB 19 Before you have a mental breakdown, get a few of your mates together and get the hell out of this overpriced c**t of a place.

CANCER JUN 22-JUL 23 The first person you talk to after reading your horoscope this month is going to try to steal money from you. Be alert, not alarmed.

PISCES FEB 20-MAR 20 It's time to ease up a bit on the food intake. You're going to have to parade that rig around pretty soon and it's not looking great.

LEO JUL 24-AUG 23 You know deep down what you want to do with your life, but you need to grow some nuts and have a crack or you'll die wondering.

SCORPIO OCT 24-NOV 22 You've tried the honest approach, but the only way you're ever going to get rich is through criminal activity or selling your arse.

ARIES MAR 21-APR 20 It's been a while since you had any action. You should relieve your sexual urges before you can no longer resist the urge to plough.

VIRGO AUG 24-SEP 23 Stop trying so hard to be someone you're not. The more you try and look different, the more you look the same as everyone else.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 23-DEC 22 Don't waste any more time or energy trying to help your family, especially when you know deep down that they don't really like you.

TAURUS APR 21-MAY 20 If you stand by silently while one of your stupid anti-vaxxer mates spouts their nonsense, then you are just as stupid as them. Speak up.

LIBRA SEP 24-OCT 23 Before you criticise Donald Trump's pussy talk, I want you to know that every male talks like that when there are no females around.

STAR SIGNS Words Beardy from Hell

TRIVIAL TRIVIA SOLUTIONS 1. True 2. The Beatles (on the Yellow Submarine cover) 3. $67,500 4. Joss Whedon 5. 150 6. Canada 7. A capon 8. Fins 9. 25 10. Deep Water 1




A 7














N 10














































E 21



















L 13
















L 11

98 The Beast | November 2016



E 9








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The Beast - November 2016  

The November 2016 edition of The Beast featuring Andrew 'Reidy' Reid...

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