The Beast - March 2024

BEAST The

March 2024

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Waratahs v Rebels 7.30pm Friday March 29 Allianz Stadium

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Swans v Essendon 7.30pm Saturday March 23 Sydney Cricket Ground

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Welcome Note

For the Love of the Ocean Words James Hutton - Publisher Welcome to the March 2024 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s ocean-loving beaches of the east. Speaking of which, the much loved Volvo Ocean Lovers Festival is on again this year from March 20-24, with heaps of cool (and free) events in and around Bondi Beach. To see what’s happening, visit oceanloversfestival.com.

This month’s cover painting, The Blue Bucket, comes from Randwick artist Victoria Dore. Victoria and her friend Lynden Esdaile will be holding an exhibition of their work at 7 Clovelly Road gallery from Wednesday, February 28 until Sunday, March 3. Together opens from 5-7pm on February 28, then from 10am-5pm Thursday to Sunday. It’s their first exhibition together and Victoria tells me they’re very excited! You can also see more of Victoria’s art on display at Curio Cafe on Clovelly Road, and at victoriadorepaintings.net.

I’ll leave you with this beautiful poem, Sleep, Koala, by Coogee’s Annabel Moody. Annabel’s poem came a very close third in the poetry category of The Beast Young Writers Competition.

Cheers, James

6 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

Sleep, Koala Annabel Moody Coogee

All is calm in the eucalyptus tree.

I turn my head, and munch on the leaves.

I grab onto the bark comfy branch, And sleep a deep, peaceful sleep.

I stir, blinking at the once lush plains.

The sky was black and red with smoke and flames, The monster climbs and grows with laughter, Surrounding me in a cage of blaze.

My paws are singed, my mouth is dry, my home is burnt, I wail and cry I climb down the black, bruised tree, No longer filled with pride I sit in a floor of ash, My thigh hurting from a gruesome gash, I lie down filled with pain Nobody - wait, a yellow flash!

A man comes from behind a blackened tree, His footsteps careful and speaking softly, He picks me up and whispers You are safe now.

I sleep.

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CONTENTS March 2024 Issue 230 06 Welcome Note 36 Kieran's Satire 47 Album Reviews 08 Contents 38 Unreliable Guide 48 Brainteasers 10 Pearls of Wisdom 40 Headnoise 49 Classifieds 12 Monthly Mailbag 42 Marj's Musings 50 Beardy from Hell 24 Local Artist 44 Fishing Report 50 Trivia Solutions 26 Local News 45 Tide Chart 34 Crime News 46 Local Photos

Endless Summer, by Michael Marren @phat_meek.

The Beast

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Issue 230 March 2024 The Beast 9

Pearls of Wisdom

A few road spikes should do the trick.

Power to the Pedestrians Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Horatio Nelson Running the Gauntlet Dear Pearl - Long time reader, first time writer here. I’m also a South Bronte resident - how good is the East! I’m looking for some help. Myself, along with so many other folk, walk to Bronte Beach and cafés via Nelson Avenue. This one-way avenue is a thoroughfare for everyone - children, families, older folk, mums with prams, residents and beach goers.

To locals, Nelson Avenue is unofficially used as a pedestrian street. I’ve been walking down this avenue for years, but over the past six months I’ve noticed an increasing number of cars speeding the wrong way down Nelson Avenue, which is a oneway street.

In the past four weeks alone I’ve seen three prams bowled over on the walkway, unaware of the speeding car approaching from behind them in the wrong direction; a few local kids and nippers running down to the beach thrust out of the way, even after they diligently 10 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

checked before crossing and kept their eye out for oncoming traffic; and a scooter was hit just last week as they turned into the correct end of the road by someone exiting via the wrong end.

Thankfully, most people have walked away unscathed. However, it is becoming increasingly dangerous as people are taken unawares by cars flying down the wrong way. I’m nervous about what might happen without some intervention. In short, anyone thinking about flying the wrong way down Nelson Avenue in Bronte, please just don’t. To Waverley Council, maybe you can help? I reckon a simple lick of paint on the road might suffice.

Looking for some community support. Thanks, Concerned Resident Bronte Let's Flush Them Out! Dear Concerned Resident - I admit to being guilty of the crime of traveling the wrong way down a one-way street. I

was driving my terribly intoxicated friend, Fern, home in her vehicle and got lost in Allawah.

Thankfully a young police officer noticed my erratic driving and, after a breath test, steered an embarrassed Pearl back on track. But, of course, there is a huge difference between Pearl driving a Corolla in a strange, dimly lit area and the tossers careering down Nelson Avenue with the mindset of ‘one-way means my way’.

In this era of wokedom, I am aware that Pearl should be demonstrating empathy towards these miscreants, whose arrogance endangers pedestrians and law-abiding motorists.

Yes, we all make mistakes, and what would I know of their state of mind as they rushed to yoga or lunch at The Coop? Perhaps I should express concern about a potential injury from their risky behaviour, perhaps I should also tell you that anyone can be distracted by their phone and miss the one-way signage and a group of nippers walking to the beach, but I’m not going to, because I’m sure these drivers are locals and know exactly what they are doing. No doubt they are serial offenders too, and while traffic laws constitute an infringement on their right to drive a certain way, pedestrians - like Pearl, who power-walks up Nelson Avenue regularly just represent an annoyance.

A large lick of brightly coloured paint may suffice but, as one who likes to take a more personal approach, I’m sure the local grommets would enjoy some good old-fashioned vigilantism and detective work using their mobile phones.

Remember, there’s power in pedestrianism (with a phone in hand) and sunlight is always the best disinfectant. Let’s flush them out!

Pearl Clovelly

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Monthly Mailbag

The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The Good People of the Eastern Beaches Kickstart My Heart James - We would like the general public to be aware that Waverley Council has installed an AED defibrillator on the wall of the South Amenities Building at Bronte Beach for the benefit of our community.

There is also a defibrilltor installed on the wall of the Bronte Beach Surf Club at the northern end of the Beach.

Regards, Margaret Horscroft Bronte Beach Community Centre Group Farcical I thoroughly agree with Steve’s item in February’s edition of The Beast regarding the ‘Pocket Park’ on Clovelly Road (Council Works, Monthly Mailbag, The Beast, February 2024).

I assume there will be some measures taken to protect anyone brave enough to use it, as it is situated adjacent to one of the busiest traffic intersections in the Eastern Suburbs. Not to mention breathing in the car exhaust fumes. It’s certainly no place for the kids.

This park will be like Council’s donation to The Voice campaign - just another big waste of ratepayers’ money. We are then expected to condone continuing the environmental levy, justified

by Council’s farcical questionnaire.

Richard & Glenda Maroubra Mass Rescue Without taking any of the (heavily published) credit away from the professional competitive surf

12 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

athletes who assisted in a multiple victim rescue at Maroubra Beach, let’s please focus some much-deserved appreciation to the first responders on the scene.

The Randwick Council lifeguards performed outstandingly on the day, as they are called to do 365 days of every year.

Well done to our boys and girls in blue.

Chad Coogee Facebook Marketplace Scam Hi Beast - I would like you to inform The Beast readers to be on the lookout for a scam on Facebook Marketplace.

Over the past week I had five different people turn up at my house to pick up either a lounge or a fridge. They were given my home address after responding to a Facebook Marketplace ad. I had to explain to these people that I did not advertise any items for sale via Facebook Marketplace, and unfortunately it appears they have been scammed.

I informed Bondi Beach Police - they were not aware of this issue and were unable to assist. I hope you can inform your readers about the scam.

Thanks, Ruth P. Bondi Beach Rats in Coogee Dear Beast - Having just seen yet another dead rat near open bins and glimpsed other lively rats nearby, it strikes me that a contributor to the rat problem could be these open bins.

Commercial bins of food operations are the most frequent

culprit. The bins are too full and can’t be closed. Sure the waste is contained within plastic bags, but these are no barrier to rats, especially when the stinking contents offer a big reward.

The solution may be as simple as each food operator ensuring they have sufficient bins to properly contain their food waste.

R. Wade Coogee Green Thumbs Dear Beast - Perhaps Jill and Mike (Queens Park Weeds and Rubbish, Monthly Mailbag, The Beast, February 2024) could raise starting a bushcare group with Centennial Parklands for that area. There may be lots of locals like myself with limited time who would be able to volunteer a few hours - once a month, or whatever - and under guidance can reap the pleasure of restoring the area.

Kind regards, Katrina Queens Park Queens Park Weeds Dear Beast - Jill and Mike are right (Queens Park Weeds and Rubbish, Monthly Mailbag, The Beast, February 2024) - the eastern end of Queens Park is neglected and the parkland above the cliffs is now inaccessible and overgrown. As always, remedial action will be a matter of funds and priorities. We might have to stump up some dollars.

Some years ago the Centennial and Queens Park Trust proposed a toll on cars entering Centennial Park. Enough of us were so outraged at the idea of having to pay to drive into a public park that the proposal was shelved.

And now here we are - not enough money coming into the Parklands to get done what needs to be done.

Maybe the trust should revisit the idea? After all, we now all have tags in our cars, so collection would be a cinch. The question is really whether we are prepared to financially support the trust, or do we want everything for free?

Mark Queens Park

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Monthly Mailbag Pearl's Public Shaming As a monthly reader of The Beast, I was shocked by Pearls of Wisdom in the February 2024 edition (Look After the Pence and the Pounds Will Look After Themselves, The Beast, February 2024).

I had never heard of Kristen Fisher and I am genuinely curious, why did you think your readers would care to read about your cruel take on this woman’s story?

Businesses go into administration every day; do you always feel it necessary to write a vitriolic column about them? Would you have written this story about a man whose accountancy firm went under? Would you have mentioned his “large breasts” twice in the write-up? Why bother to put the “misogynistic media” in inverted commas if you were just going to continue its rhetoric?

Whatever point you were trying to make with this satire was lost completely when you succumbed to the impulse to tear apart a woman solely for daring to engage in a business you consider to be frivolous and unserious. That choice (and its success or failure) is her prerogative and not worthy of note by you. It’s certainly not worthy of public shaming.

I found this take an utterly bizarre choice for a community magazine. If women choose to spend their money on the beauty and wellness industry, let them.

Life would be happier if we were all a little less judgmental, so do better Pearl.

Victoria Bondi Beach Charing Cross Streetscape 'Upgrade' Dear James - Residents know that Charing Cross is much more than a place to enjoy a quick coffee or takeaway. They know that the post office is easy to reach, they can drop off laundry or get tasty groceries without battling Bondi Junction’s crowds or torturous carparks. Shopping along the main street is healthy and airy in these germy, pandemic days. Tradies working through-

14 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

out the Eastern Suburbs know they can pull in quickly for breakfast takeaways and plumbing supplies. Parents dropping kids to schools can organise coaching, dental and physio appointments, do a quick sweep through Vinnies or purchase fashion outfits.

Residents are confused that Waverley Council wants to change everything - many kerbside parking spaces gone, bikes driven out, trees blocking heritage facades, smart poles watching us, green transformer boxes obstructing the footpath and the roadway so narrow that buses will swipe off mirrors.

What for?

Charing Cross is Waverley’s historic jewel, a traditional, shopping strip on Bronte Road, a busy thoroughfare and key bus route linking eastern beach suburbs with Bondi Junction and Woollahra suburbs beyond. It is not a derelict suburban cul-desac needing help. Why not just fix damage to the footpath surfaces, improve signs, paint historic buildings and replace posted awnings?

As a working main street, the diversity of small shops underpins its health and longevity - just as biodiversity is essential in keeping the natural world robust. Council’s obscure vision for a café strip where people will promenade on wide footpaths is misguided, and will see the centre’s operation and vibrancy destroyed.

Think again, Council, and do some homework to understand the reasons for Charing Cross’s successful trading environment.

Re-focus on investing in its heritage, and in the fine sweep of historic buildings lining the main street.

Yours faithfully, Mora Main Waverley Thankyou I just want to thank the Irish nurse and the woman with her who helped me when I had a bad fall on Friday, December 8 last year at the St Catherine’s bus stop. Thanks for attending to me and calling the ambulance, even though I didn’t want the

ambulance. I am much better and taking measures to avoid any further falls.

Rochelle Waverley Long Letters Live I write in response to ‘Brevity is the Key’ (Monthly Mailbag, The Beast, February 2024) from the semi-anonymous ‘Mark S’ of Coogee. Mark’s correspondence was unfortunately personal and simplistic. I make no apologies for the length of my letter regarding the proposed amalgamation of Randwick Girls’ and Boys’ High Schools published in the December edition of The Beast.

I thank Mark for keeping the issue in the news and estimating my age. My age and consequent limited tenure as a teacher are confirmation that my concerns are not personally based but professional recognition of the very real threats to choice and public education in this region.

The length of my December edition letter was due to the litany of flaws in the amalgamation proposal that I explained. I note that none of my arguments against this amalgamation have yet been rebutted by Mark S or others. At no time did I nor any other Randwick Girls’ High School staff, parent or student make negative comments regarding Randwick Boys’ High School.

I signed off in detail to confirm my credibility and experience.

To respond further to Mark’s, “...quite a while since he was at school as a student,” I may not have been a student for many years, and yes, “things have changed”, but I have been part of this evolution of education in NSW, at the coalface in the classroom. I have remained a head teacher to ensure that I continue to teach.

Mark, in his puerile style, notes that it is “a bit of a wank” to mention said position twice. I did so to emphasise that I remain in contact with the aspirations and needs of our students. Any further promotion increasingly takes a teacher away from face-to-face teaching. I am in further regular interaction with community members and school age children

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Issue 230 March 2024 The Beast 15

Monthly Mailbag through volunteer activities including active surf lifesaving patrols with Clovelly SLSC and coaching with the Randwick Rugby Union Junior Academy. Is that okay, Mark?

Further to the previously stated amalgamation problems, the simple operational logistics of a single campus on a site that is 840 metres long in a straight line from Barker Street in the north to Rainbow Street in the south are untenable. A schoolgirl athlete running under three minutes on the track for 800 metres will be a champion! A school student or teacher, not able to travel a direct route, carrying backpacks and lesson materials, and with rain diversions, would have to allow a minimum of 7-9 minutes’ walking time for this distance!

Disabled students and staff face a nightmare. Valuable teaching time will be sacrificed from every lesson! Supervision duties and student safety and welfare between lessons, during lessons and during breaks will be severely compromised. Proposed timetabling changes will not hasten the walking speed of staff or students.

Statewide, the accelerating loss of students from public education in NSW is well documented. This has been especially the case in the transition from Year 6 primary to Year 7 secondary education.

The reported impact at the Year 7 level has been greatly amplified at Randwick Girls’ High School, where the numbers in this cohort have fallen dramatically since the decision by the minister to amalgamate the girls’ and boys’ high schools from 2025 was officially announced.

Geoffrey James Clovelly Invasion Day This is a response to Andrew Goldfinch’s letter, ‘Australia Day’, in the January 2024 edition of The Beast (Monthly Mailbag, The Beast, January 2024). Andrew begins his letter by describing the arrival of the First Fleet as the dawn of an era of “…great achievements and prosperity,” which is an interesting way to describe 200 years of colonial oc-

16 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

cupation, genocide and systemic oppression. I wonder if Andrew considers the total demographic collapse of the Indigenous people of this continent caused by European diseases like smallpox, displacement from their land and the unsustainable hunting practices of the colonists, along with outright murder, amongst the ‘great achievements’ of the Australian colonial project which warrant celebration annually?

In regards to the ‘prosperity’ that we experience today, Andrew may have forgotten that Indigenous teenagers are more likely to end up in jail than in university today, which numerous scholars on the topic have largely attributed to the systemic oppression and intergenerational trauma of colonialism. Australia is indeed a prosperous country, but for whom?

Andrew makes the correct assertion that the convicts, which formed the bulk of the first fleet’s colonists, were poor and oppressed people from the British Isles, sent here in poor conditions and left to fend for themselves. This point ignores the impact of the arrival of the convicts however. Within decades of the arrival of the fleet, many convicts had been freed and given land grants by the colonial government, grants for the lands lived on by the Indigenous peoples of Australia. It seems a bit strange then that the oppression of the British Crown against these convicts justifies the actions of convicts in their theft of Indigenous land. Many of these convicts-turned-colonists not only forced Indigenous people off of their land, but also introduced farming practices, crops and animals which caused irreparable damage to local ecosystems, threatening the food security of the Indigenous people.

They also outrightly engaged in murder, whether it be to disperse a local group or in retaliation against the Indigenous people’s resistance to their occupation. This argument about the plight of the convicts also ignores the large amount of free colonists who came to Australia, who, while undoubtedly deserving of a

better life than the one they likely had back in Britain or Ireland, founded their new haven on the blood of the Indigenous people of this continent.

To make a wider point of Australia Day, it has not been a staple tradition for very long. For many years after Federation in 1901, Empire Day was the most important non-religious holiday of the year, and after then Australia Day was celebrated in July rather than January. The modern Australia Day is a pure construct of nationalism, only gaining prominence during the 1990s, particularly under the ‘patronage’ of John Howard.

In conclusion Andrew, I hope all readers do give some thought to the dreadful treatment inflicted on people’s ancestors, particularly the people whose ancestors lived on this continent for over 60,000 years, whose land was stolen, whose people were murdered and kidnapped, and which are now the most incarcerated group of people in the world.

It is not hard to not celebrate genocide.

Regards, Antoine Clovelly Aussie, Aussie, Aussie To The Beast - I am a proud fifth generation Australian. My ancestors, colonials all, came to Adelaide (South Australia) to start new lives for themselves and future generations. The strength of character it took for them to leave their country and start again in unknown circumstances was massive.

The colonials did not treat the Aboriginals well, nor should we be proud of the governors of the time. The times were different, wrongly so.

My ancestors worked hard to establish a life in their new country and I will never be anything but proud of them. We have a right to celebrate those who built a life for us. It was the colonials and subsequent generations that makes Australia what it is today. Disgustingly, the original landowners were pushed out of this process, and their anger is justified.

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Monthly Mailbag We still deserve to have our day; our ancestors deserve it, as do the younger generations of our family to come. I wish we could enjoy Australia Day, without the yearly debate. I know what it means to me.

Margie Coogee Australia Day Andrew claims that nobody thinks about the convicts who arrived on the date we have humiliatingly designated as our national day (Australia Day, Monthly Mailbag, The Beast, January 2024). Well, I do.

I believe the date should be changed, not only because this ‘celebration’ takes place on the day that the First Peoples were introduced to new diseases, which killed them in the hundreds of thousands, and who subsequently became aliens in their own homeland (£5-£10 reward per head; a literal head).

It’s the date that Australia became an offshore detention centre. A prison. A jail for the poor and impoverished of the UK. A collective loss of home, of country. Both for the Aboriginal Peoples and for those labelled ‘convicts’.

Only Australia chooses a day of suffering and pain to celebrate their national day - other nations choose dates of independence - USA, France, Cuba, Haiti, Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Tunisia, South Africa and on it goes... But not us, we’ve chosen a day that commemorates a demonstrative absence of humanity and a lack of compassion.

“Yay! We became a jail!! I’ll drink to that!” How so very embarrassing. If for no other reason than public image we should change the date because, as it stands today, we look like fools without a sense of historical perspective.

Cat Complex Randwick Bondi Junction Bollards Dear James & Co. - While a number of writers have expressed their concerns about this hideous installation, I would also like to add my two cents’ worth.

18 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

I have tripped over these concrete bollards on at least two occasions! After one of these trips I ended up with what I thought was a broken finger! After having X-rays, it was discovered that my finger was not broken, but I had tendon damage. My middle right finger has been in a splint for six weeks and has rendered me useless in trying to write or cook.

It has made driving very difficult.

At night-time, the bollards are particularly hard to see. I do predict more trip accidents will occur on these bollards, and I suggest Council considers putting in some sort of reflective strip or ‘cats eyes’, which would make the bollards more visible and less of a hazard.

At the moment, the bike lane is a lawsuit waiting to happen, as more victims are revealed. Onya, Waverley Council! Another job not well done!

Louise Mackay Bondi Junction Cyclists, Keep to the Road At the outset, I am very pro cyclists, provided they follow the Highway Code. Certainly in Bondi there has been an increase in adults using fast electronic bikes on pavements. It is in fact illegal for adults to use pavements for their cycling travels.

In addition to the inconvenience to pedestrians, it is also a danger to them, as they do not have the benefits of protection from crash helmets, etc.

So, please cyclists, show some courtesy to pedestrians and use the roads or dedicated lanes.

David Boyd Bondi Beach Birrell Street Cycle Lanes Dear Beast - I would like to update local residents on the Birrell Street bike lanes. Firstly, myself and at least four other residents have had vehicles damaged by vehicles exiting Bourke Street. I am covered by insurance, however I am required to pay an excess, which I hold Waverley Council fully responsible and accountable for.

On October 27, 2023, I confronted four Waverley Council employees very proudly wearing

Council polo shirts, chests pumped, walking and admiring their ‘masterpiece’, also known as the cycle lanes.

While I must admit they were very respectful and did listen to my rant and points of view, they failed miserably to offer any real counterarguments, with three of the four employees not saying a word and resembling rabbits caught in a headlight, or in this case a cycle lane!

During Christmas I was fortunate enough to take annual leave from work and carry out some much-needed maintenance in our front garden, where over a full two days I witnessed four cyclists using the lanes (two of which were e-bikes) and two cyclists delivering Uber Eats but still using the pavement - money well spent, Waverley Council.

While on the same vein, the garden bed installed by Council on the corner of Birrell and Brisbane Streets, as predicted, has become very overgrown with weeds, making the exit from Brisbane Street extremely difficult and dangerous.

One would think that Council could allocate a gardener for maybe two hours to maintain this garden bed after spending millions of taxpayers’ monies installing these monstrosities and unsightly cycle lanes.

As previously stated in this publication, it is only a matter of time before a fatality occurs and Council will have blood on its hands!

Dale Jones Bondi Junction A spokesperson for Waverley Council said the Birrell Street Renewal Project was primarily funded through the state government and included new road surface and line markings, pedestrian safety and comfort measures, increased greenery and an uphill separated bike path. The design of the streetscape project has been designed and constructed in line with Australian Standards, Austroads Guidelines, Transport for NSW Guidelines and Waverley Council policies and guidelines. The street design was further refined

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Issue 230 March 2024 The Beast 19

Monthly Mailbag and informed by extensive community engagement with community feedback favouring the option of a separated uphill bike lane, positioned between the kerb and parked cars, and a shared downhill mixed-use road for vehicles and bikes between Newland Street and Henrietta Street. Construction is now complete on Stage 1 of the project (between Newland Street and Bronte Road) with plans underway to upgrade and connect between Bronte Road and Henrietta Street and beyond.

Community feedback also highlighted the need for preserving parking, introducing traffic calming measures, ensuring connectivity of bike lanes and prioritising safety for pedestrians and bike riders.

Birrell Street is a major road in Waverley, connecting people to several community hubs in the east and beyond. Waverley Council is committed to providing active transport infrastructure to encourage less reliance on motor vehicles and is obligated to upgrade its important road and footpath assets with current and future use in mind.

With regards to maintenance, the garden in this location is scheduled for servicing in February, May, August and November each year.

Noise Pollution I have read the letters to The Beast’s Monthly Mailbag from December, January and February, and I feel reassured that I am not the only one annoyed by the constant noise pollution from the boofheads with noisy motorcycles/vehicles.

It is not just motorcycles.

Many of the new style macho utes are also a large part of the noise pollution problem. You hear them all coming in the distance, then they are deafening as they pass. If you didn’t hear them then you would feel the vibration.

I have also raised the problem with the Police, only to be told exactly the same spiel that it is a waste of time issuing defect notices. If defect notices do not work, then impound the bike/ vehicle.

20 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

Recently I have raised issue with our local State Member for Coogee, Dr Marjorie O’Neill. The reply received stated that the matter would be followed up with the relevant minister and portfolio. I await the response.

Geoff Coogee Motorcycle Insanity Simon (Motorcycle Management, Monthly Mailbag, The Beast, January 2024), I couldn’t agree more. The noise from illegally modified, noisy motorbikes and cars causes stress and sleep disruption, and it’s insane that police and regulators aren’t doing more about this.

Urs Bronte Council Surprise I found it strange that Council and the mayor were surprised at the increase of Christmas partygoers at Bronte given 2023 is the first proper full year of international travel and visa restrictions being lifted. Surely everyone sees the huge lines for rental properties, and with that rents have skyrocketed way beyond pre-COVID prices.

We have been hearing on the news for a while there is an unprecedented number of international students coming to Australia, and for some reason a huge chunk want to reside in the overpriced Eastern Suburbs.

Many now share studio and one-bedroom apartments just so they can afford the ridiculous rents, which means higher density. Australia actually has the highest number of international students per capita - way above Canada.

It’s a similar situation with working holiday visas; we all know they like to start their experience in the Eastern Beaches, and that’s been happening for decades. It’s like Council has forgotten all about the Christmas riots of ’98 in Bondi.

If Waverley Council is going to ask for help or a levy it should be from the educational institutions that bring students over in such large numbers without a responsibility to house them.

Hopefully this surprise by Council doesn’t represent a disconnect with what’s actually happening in the community.

Thanks, Anthony Bondi 'Compassionate Conservatism' A Labor Government decision to perform cardiac bypass procedures for children no longer at Sydney Children’s Hospital, Randwick, but only at the 33 kilometres-away Children’s Hospital at Westmead will compromise life-saving.

The original decision was taken by conservative former NSW Health Minister Brad Hazzard.

Is the ideology of ‘compassionate conservatism’ finally exposed for what it always was - a mere ideology that camouflages the heartless underbelly of conservatism?

When in opposition, Coogee Labor MP Marjorie O’Neill was campaigning for cardiac surgery to remain in Randwick. O’Neill and Matt Thistlethwaite, also once a supporter, have since backflipped. Sinful heretics claim it was in cahoots with Labor’s NSW Health Minister Ryan Park.

A recent online petition noted that sick children at Sydney Children’s Hospital, Randwick are being put at risk by the minister’s decision to stop cardiac surgery, including cardiac bypass surgery, at the hospital.

Maybe the days when saving the lives of children made a good political campaign are over. Today, it seems to be that multi-billion submarines - for a cool $370 billion - protecting us from an enemy that does not exist can win elections. In short, children should not get in the way of the atomic dreams of politicians.

Thomas Klikauer Child-free, Atomic Coogee Airbnb Backpacker Hosts Here we go again, people renting out multiple Eastern Suburbs apartments for the sole purpose of Airbnb. In the case of my small block, two apartments are being used in this way, and the renter bragged to me that he has 16 in total.

What’s on in Waverley for Mardi Gras 2024 Bondi Beach Party • Festival First Light Mardi Gras parade Marks Park Dawn Sunrise Service of Reflection Bangers and Mash: A home cooked variety show Drag King Bingo with Sexy Galexy Love Netball's Mardi Gras comp night Rainbow Storytime • Film Screening: Any Day Now Embroider your pride workshop • Heartstopper Party Mardi Gras jewellery making workshop Queer Cinema • Queer collage making • Queer Reads Rainbow Families Craft Morning

Check out our website for details: waverley.nsw.gov.au

Monthly Mailbag After an ongoing noise issue he has threatened to offer our local Bondi Beach real estate agent $200 above my rent to take over my apartment as well - the front of this guy! To top it off, he is from overseas and LinkedIn suggests he works or worked in the steel industry, our newest local enterprising backpacker.

Shout out to Waverley Council, who have not replied to my email regarding Airbnb host compliance and what, according to guidelines, is amounting to breaking the law as the apartment in my block is evidently rented out full time. Hello, Waverley Council, is anyone there?

K Bondi Beach A spokesperson for Waverley Council said the state government allows properties in Sydney, including Waverley, to be used as short term rental accommodation (such as Airbnb) for a maximum of 180 days of the year through the State Environment Planning Policy

(Housing) 2021. SEPPs are policies released by the state government from time to time and they set the rules that control what development can occur on land. For short term rental accommodation, this is regulated in Chapter 3 Part 6 of the State Environmental Planning Policy (Housing) 2021: https:// legislation.nsw.gov.au/view/ html/inforce/current/ epi-2021-0714#ch.3-pt.6 Bring More Positivity to the Horoscopes We’ve always enjoyed reading The Beast and appreciate that it’s still a fun bit of community spirit every month! However, we feel as though the horoscope portion is just so dark and morbid. You read the entirety of The Beast, only to end on such a sad and depressing part when you read the small snippet of your horoscope.

I’m definitely not into reading horoscopes literally, but it’s always nice to read something a bit positive. I’d honestly hope you might take this message into

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22 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

consideration to bring a more lighthearted message, as everyone knows that more optimism is what we all need these days.

Appreciate your time in reading this and hope a bit of chance towards goodness might occur.

Thank you The Beast Team!

Christie Bondi A Little Bit of Culture Dear Beasts - A big shoutout to whoever organises all the entertainment at the Bondi Pavilion these days. In March they’ve got art exhibitions, jazz music, Women’s Day guest speakers, cabaret shows and all sorts of cool stuff.

Go to www.bondipavilion.com.au and have a look - bloody fantastic!

Jacky Bondi ¢ Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and suburb. We try and publish as many of them as possible, but nothing too crazy please.

6 March Open Day

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Local Artist Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? The closeness to the city and the beaches is great, and being close to Centennial Park is a real plus for me. I love to walk with the locals each day and have a calm place away from the hustle and bustle, though Saturdays can be frantic in the park too.

Knocking them out.

Local Artist...

Victoria Dore from Randwick Interview James Hutton Photo Viv Dore Local artist Victoria Dore is the talent behind this month’s cover painting of a boy playing in the rock pools, called The Blue Bucket. She shares her local favourites with The Beast...

How long have you lived here?

I’ve lived in the Eastern Suburbs all my life. I grew up in Maroubra and moved to Paddington, then Woollahra and Queens Park, and for the last nine years in Randwick.

Why do you live here? It’s who I am. I can’t imagine living elsewhere.

What's your favourite local beach? I like Clovelly and the southern end of Maroubra, and all the beaches down at La Perouse. I love the nudie beach down at La Perouse, but with my cozzie on.

What's your favourite eatery? I feel very connected with Curio Cafe on Clovelly Road. It has great food, lovely owners and makes you feel part of a community. I always enjoy Seahorse at The Spot and Seasalt at Clovelly, and then Vaucluse House for a beautiful setting. The eating places at the NSW Gallery of Art are also an attraction for me.

24 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

How would you describe your art? I don’t like to wax lyrical about it much. I suppose it shows how I want to see the world. It’s colourful, and I hope it gives people a sense of calm, but it’s what just comes naturally to me, I’m not trying to be like anyone else.

Where can people see your work? I display at Curio Cafe on Clovelly Road, Randwick, and you can check out my website victoriadorepaintings.net as well and contact me that way. I’m a regular at the Easter Show Art Exhibit, having won a number of ribbons, including a first prize in 2021.

Who are your artistic inspirations? There are lots, but I would have to say Margaret Preston mostly. I love Cressida Campbell and Criss Canning, and I’ve always been inspired by Robert Dickerson as well. I was lucky enough to meet him one day on a walk in Centennial Park. His advice to me was, “Just keep painting... keep knocking them out,” which was funny really as he had been a boxer.

What are you working on at the moment? I’m painting a still life. While having a cup of tea I looked across the room to see some wilting hydrangeas in a striped vase. I had spent all morning waiting for inspiration from still life scenarios I had set up, and there was the winner looking right at me.

Do you have any exhibitions coming up? Yes, I do. My friend Lynden Esdaile and I are having a showing of our work at 7 Clovelly Road gallery, starting on Wednesday, February 28 until Sunday, March 3. It’s called Together. Our styles are very

different from each other, so we should complement each other well. It opens from 5-7pm on February 28 and then 10am-5pm Thursday to Sunday. It’s our first exhibition together so we are pretty excited about it.

When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? I don’t know if I have a gift. I think I just have a need to paint, and I like it when other people enjoy it.

Any other local artists to look out for? Lynden Esdaile, of course.

Did you study art? I did a year at uni, but I became a maths teacher so didn’t start using the right side of my brain until I retired.

You would call me ‘self taught’.

Any words of wisdom for young artists? Be yourself; paint for yourself, not the market.

What do you get up to on the weekends? I relax at the weekend and do some painting and stay away from the crowds and traffic if I can. I socialise quite a bit with friends during the week and fit the painting in between.

What do you do for work? I retired in 2009 and took up painting shortly after. I was initially a maths teacher and then for my last 13 years of work I was a fraud investigator. It was interesting stuff.

What was your favourite thing about work? As a teacher my favourite thing was getting to know the students. Plus, mathematics was rather magical for me. As a fraud investigator my favourite thing was learning to understand how and why people did the wrong thing.

Do you have a favourite quote? I generally get quotes wrong, but I remember Dad used to say, “You can’t help fools.” It still makes me laugh.

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Enjoy your local community. It’s important for your happiness.

Bronte House Open Weekend Sunday 17 and Saturday 23 March From 10am to 2pm Explore two acres of beautiful garden and enjoy free plein air drawing tutelage

Local News

Don’t close our branch! Protestors outside CBA Coogee.

Which Bank is Abandoning Coogee?

Words and Photo Anthony Maguire The Commonwealth Bank is closing its Coogee branch - and the community is outraged.

A small but vocal group of locals recently protested outside the bank, chanting, “Don’t close our branch!”

The protest was organised by Coogee Precinct, which blew the whistle on the March 1 closure after Chair Mark England heard about it from a senior CBA executive at another branch.

“When this branch closes its doors, there won’t be any banks left in Coogee,” Mr England said.

Randwick City Council Mayor Philipa Veitch was an avid participant in the protest.

“Local branches are more than a place for banking, they provide a hub for connection,” she said.

“This is an essential community service, and we call on the CBA to reverse this decision and keep the Coogee branch open.”

The branch has been at the corner of Coogee Bay Road and Brook Street for almost half a century. Its death knell was sounded in 2021 when CBA sold the building to a local gym, S1 Training, for $11.2 million. The new owner then leased it back

26 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

to CBA for three years. It is understood the gym will be shifting from its Dolphin Street premises into the bank building.

CBA’s Regional General Manager Irene Rowlands says the decision to close the branch was a “difficult” one which followed a big decline in over-the-counter transactions.

“Customer demand at our Coogee branch has progressively declined, with a 52 per cent drop in transactions over the last five years,” Ms Rowlands told The Beast.

Coogee’s CBA customers are being advised to use the Randwick branch.

“We’ve recently expanded our Randwick branch, with 37 per cent of Coogee customers already visiting this location,” Ms Rowlands said.

Customers who prefer overthe-counter service can also consider using the Bondi Junction and Maroubra branches, which Ms Rowlands pointed out are “within five kilometres” of the Coogee branch site.

The Member for Kingsford Smith, Matt Thistlethwaite, says that’s not good enough. He told

The Beast, “Given that the Commonwealth Bank has made such huge profits out of the Australian people, I would have thought they have a moral obligation to provide face-to-face banking services in our community, particularly for elderly people who don’t use the app or the internet.”

The Member for Coogee, Dr Marjorie O’Neill, agrees. She said CBA’s decision “raises significant concerns about the accessibility of essential financial services for the most vulnerable members of our community.”

Retired civil engineer Henri Richard, 76, had a stroke 16 years ago and ever since he has had balance problems. He is a Maroubra resident, but since that CBA branch moved from Maroubra Road to Pacific Square, where there is little street parking, he has been using the Coogee branch.

“I can usually get parking in a disabled space outside the bank in Brook Street,” he said.

“There are big parking challenges in Randwick, so now I don’t know how I’m going to do my banking.”

Coogee resident Tony Sheedy, 77, is in much the same boat.

Mr Sheedy does not drive, nor does he use a mobile phone or computer.

“I have prostate trouble and a crook back,” he said. “Travelling on a bus to and from Randwick won’t be good for me.”

Coogee Precinct has started a petition asking CBA not to proceed with the closure. The petition also calls on Federal Finance Minister Katy Gallagher, NSW Treasurer Daniel Mookhey and Matt Thistlethwaite to make representations to CBA about its decision.

“Access to physical banking services is a basic need,” the petition says.

CBA made a record profit of more than $10 billion last financial year, with its CEO taking home a whopping $10.4 million.

An urgent review of this decision is needed.

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Local News

Beware of fake Simon.

Desperately Seeking Simon Words Anthony Maguire Photo Lee Git This is Simon Jones - or rather, it isn’t. The bloke in the photo is actually a pastor in the United States called Paul Lewis.

‘Simon Jones’ has been making bookings at Airbnb properties in the Bondi area - and apparently using the addresses in a criminal scam.

An Airbnb host blew the whistle on the scam after renting out her Bondi Junction house to ‘Simon’ for two days.

The host, who lives up the road from the rental property, was passing by on the first night of ‘Simon’s’ stay and noticed that the house was in darkness and the letterbox flap had been pushed in.

At around 10.45am the next morning, she walked past with her dog and noticed an Express Post envelope at the door. She picked it up, thinking it could be personal mail for her, and saw it was addressed to ‘CPC Scientific AU Pty Ltd, c/- Zhe Zheng.’

She opened the letter and inside was an authenticator key, used for transferring large sums of money. It had been issued by Westpac.

The host told The Beast, “I immediately did a reverse image search of my tenant’s profile picture and discovered 28 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

it was a picture of a pastor in Lake Worth, Florida called Paul Lewis!”

It was time to see if ‘Simon’ was at home - she’d sent him a text earlier asking if his stay was comfortable, but there’d been no reply.

“I knocked on the door and when no-one answered I let myself in. Nobody was inside and the beds were untouched. I realised that the person turning up to my house would likely not be my intended guest, but rather a criminal coming to collect the authenticator key.”

Speaking of keys, she didn’t want her suspect guest entering the property, so she changed the front door keylock combination. Then she visited the local Westpac branch.

The bank told her the company name on the envelope was legitimate, with CPC Scientific being registered with the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC).

Later that morning she was at home when ‘Simon’ replied to her earlier text message.

“He said ‘I’m ok thanks,’ indicating he was happy with the house.”

By mid-afternoon, ‘Simon’ had sent another text asking if his “spouse” could enter the house.

The host went to the house and waited inside. Within minutes, a middle-aged woman was trying to open the front door.

The host opened the door and asked the visitor’s name and why she was there. The visitor walked off down the street. On her tail was the intrepid host, dialling triple zero.

Police were on the scene “within a minute” and they questioned the woman.

“While she was being held by police yet another authenticator key turned up at the door. The police were looking at the woman’s phone and saw overseas messages from the criminal demanding to know if she’d been successful in retrieving the key.”

Officers took the woman away and she has been charged with trespassing. The host went home and made an urgent call to Airbnb - only to get the runaround. And she’s been getting the runaround ever since.

“Since that day I have repeatedly tried to contact Airbnb but they only respond with a generic message. I am still waiting for Airbnb to contact me and remove his profile.”

She posted the picture of ‘Simon Jones’ on a Facebook page for Airbnb hosts and heard from two people who said he had also ‘stayed’ at their properties.

“Both were in Bondi,” she said.

As for the company that the packages were addressed to, CPC Scientific is indeed registered with ASIC. There is one entity in NSW and another in Queensland. But are they connected to the real CPC Scientific?

CPC Scientific is a biotechnology company with Chinese management based in California.

It has a website and even has a write-up in Wikipedia. There aren’t any web references for an employee called Zhe Zheng.

Local News

Will & Co to Hold Tenth Anniversary Charity Art Auction for OneWave Words Anthony Maguire Photo Josh Passaro

Festival Founder Anita Kolni.

Celebrate the Sea at the Volvo Ocean Lovers Festival Words Anthony Maguire Photo Daniel Kukec Can seaweed save humanity?

Are whales talking to us? Find out at the annual Volvo Ocean Lovers Festival at Bondi Beach on the weekend of March 23-24.

Now in its fourth year, the festival is a celebration of the sea and its wonders. The event takes place in and around Bondi Pavilion and features talks by marine experts, interactive displays, market stalls, music and more.

Inside the Pav, you can hear talks on everything from shark nets to seaweed. And you’ll be able to learn how to do your bit for enhancing our marine environment, with a showcase highlighting the work of Project Restore - a program aimed at boosting biodiversity and restoring degraded sea beds in Sydney Harbour.

Meanwhile, there are a range of activities being held outside.

Do you love building sandcastles? Then you might like to enter the sand sculpture comp with prizes from Blue World, a locally-based group on a mission is to “catalyse positive 30 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

change for a clean and thriving ocean.” There is also a beach clean-up which will highlight the rubbish washed up at Bondi. And off the rocks of North Bondi, there’ll be instruction in free diving from local outfit Immersia Freediving.

Back inside the Pav, you can go for a virtual plunge beneath the ocean’s surface in an interactive exhibition called Out of Sight, Out of Mind. It uses Virtual Diving Technology to take you on a journey into the undersea world.

Other program highlights include an entertaining blend of music and performance art in the upstairs bar called Tidal Traces, and a student waste art exhibition, Litterarty.

“Festival goers will be enlightened and inspired by this year’s remarkable program, which brings to life the wonder and significance of our ocean,” says the event’s founder, Bondi local Anita Kolni.

For more information, visit www.oceanloversfestival.com.

Bondi Beach coffee mecca Will & Co has become a pop-up art gallery and will be conducting a silent auction for the ten works on display until March 14.

The art show is called Coffee and Community, which, says Will & Co Director Josh Passaro, “sums up what we’re all about.”

It is being staged to celebrate Will & Co’s tenth anniversary and its evolution from a boutique coffee roaster supplying a handful of Bondi cafés to a nationwide supplier of specialty coffee.

Each of the ten works on display at the Will & Co tasting bar/roastery is by a different artist, some of whom have been partners of Will & Co since inception.

Café goers can scan QR codes to bid on the artworks and winning bidders will be notified on Friday, March 15. The paintings have been donated by the artists and all the proceeds are going to local mental health charity OneWave.

A cool piece by Chris Nixon.

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Issue 230 March 2024 The Beast 31

Local News

The Bondi Memorial: Rise, located at Marks Park, Tamarama.

Marks Park’s Dark Secret Words Nicolas Parkhill & Ivan Power Photo John McRae Every year, millions of people from all over the world walk through Marks Park, Tamarama, along the Bondi to Bronte coastal walk, marvelling at the profound beauty of the Pacific Ocean set against Sydney’s world famous sandstone cliffs.

Most, including many Sydney-siders, are unaware of the existence of a modest memorial tucked in behind the scrub, or the terrible events it commemorates.

On Saturday, February 24, 15,000 people will gather on the sand below Marks Park for the Mardi Gras Beach Party, most also oblivious to this history.

There is no doubt that Bondi is one of the world’s best places for a beach party, its incredible natural beauty complemented by an amazing community of people from all over the world who live with a dynamism, joy and freedom that few other places can facilitate.

But not so many years ago a spectre of fear and intolerance in parts of this community and others bred feelings of hatred towards LGBTIQ people. This 32 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

manifested itself not only in horrific acts of violence and brutality at Marks Park and across Sydney, but in the appalling response to this violence by our institutions and our broader community. In other words, when persecuted people in our community needed us, our institutions walked past and we turned away.

That’s why the Special Commission into LGBTIQ Hate Crimes is so important.

As painful as it is to revisit this past, many thousands of hours of forensic investigation by Justice John Sackar and his team have laid bare the scale of these terrible acts, the inadequacy of the response by many of our public institutions and their profound and lasting impact on so many people.

It’s through processes such as the Special Commission that civilised societies shine a light on periods of darkness and take action to prevent them from happening again in the future.

We can all be grateful to Justice Sackar and his team for their diligence, skill and perseverance.

But there’s an important role for each of us in this too, as constituents of a civilised society. Whenever we walk, paddle, swim or drive past Marks Park and take a moment to remember and possibly share this history, we can send a ripple into our community. And that’s what we are hoping to achieve at the community Sunrise Service of Reflection at Marks Park, Tamarama, on Saturday, February 24.

By commemorating the tragic history of Marks Park and places like it, we are hoping to demonstrate why it is that bigotry, prejudice and intolerance have no place and can never be allowed to fester in our communities.

By celebrating the progress we have made as a community, we remind ourselves and each other that such progress is not inevitable, but only comes as a result of many thousands of acts of individual courage and kindness. These small acts, compounding upon each other, are the basis of all lasting change in our communities.

And when we as individuals decide to make people welcome in our communities and commit to vigilance against bigotry, prejudice and intolerance, we make small acts of everyday courage and kindness slightly easier for us and for others.

That makes it more likely that our community and our institutions won’t walk past or turn away the next time we are called. And it helps to honour the memory of those who suffered at Marks Park.

Please join us at Marks Park for the Sunrise Service of Reflection on Saturday, February 24 at 6.30am.

Everyone is welcome. Visit www.bondimemorial.com. au/events for more details.

Crime News

Drug-induced psychosis.

Crime News Words Jimmy Felon Photos Noah Idea Ita’s Nephew Wanted to Recruit Armed Militia Millionaire entrepreneur Andrew Spira wanted to raise an armed militia in Southeast Asia, a court heard. But the drugfuelled fantasy never got close to being played out.

Spira, nephew of ABC Chair Ita Buttrose and son of Eastern Suburbs socialite Lizzie Buttrose, was arrested in Darwin for trying to fly out of Australia on a false passport.

After spending two months in a Northern Territory prison, he was back on his home turf, facing a fraud charge in Waverley Court. The court was told that Spira and his partner had racked up a bill of $948 at a Hunter Valley bed and breakfast.

He then paid using stolen credit card details.

Not that there was any need for the 25-year-old former Cranbrook student to use another person’s identity. He runs a successful Bondi Junction-based company called Pineapple Funding and has a multi-million dollar property portfolio. But he was in a “drug-induced psychosis” at the time of the fraud and believed people were out to get him, his lawyer Samir Karnib told the court. Spira’s arrest and incarceration in Darwin soon after committing the fraud in the Hunter was tangible evidence of this psychosis because he’d been

34 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

on a mission “to raise an armed militia in Southeast Asia.”

Mr Karnib said his client had straightened himself out during his time behind bars in the Territory and argued that he should only receive a fine for the credit card offence.

Magistrate Julie Taker disagreed, although she let the troubled Spira remain at liberty. She sentenced him to a 12-month community corrections order - and ordered him to continue receiving mental health treatment.

‘Savvy’ Card Fraud Victim Tracked Down Thief - Police A brave fraud victim collared and detained the crim who’d stolen his bank card from a car parked in Randwick, according to Eastern Beaches Police.

The alleged thief and an accomplice are said to have stolen bank cards and other personal items from the car. Then the pair went “on a spending spree in Randwick,” police said in a posting on Facebook.

However, they were “eventually tracked down by the savvy victim. One male aged 43 was apprehended by the victim close to where the transactions were made until police arrived. The other male aged 49 was arrested a short time later.”

Two men are facing a raft of charges.

Young Driver Was Three Times Over When He Rear-Ended Car Dylan Jones did not get far when he tried to drive home after a four-hour drinking session with work colleagues at a pub in Charing Cross.

Jones, 19, slammed into the back of another car on Carrington Road. The impact was so violent that the other driver was knocked unconscious.

When police arrived, Jones blew three times the legal limit.

And he’s now blown his chances of getting behind the wheel again any time soon. At a hearing in Waverley Court, he plead-

ed guilty to high-range drink driving. Sentencing was deferred pending reports but Magistrate Jacqueline Milledge warned him it would be a long time before he’d be driving again.

Indiana Jones Charged With Bondi Junction Murder Police have charged a seventh man with the shooting of gangster Alen Moradian in Bondi Junction last June.

Indiana Jones, 21, is alleged to have driven the gunman to and from the crime scene - the underground car park of a Spring Street apartment block.

Man Accused of Stabbing His Mum with Paint Scraper A young Malabar man is alleged to have stabbed his mother in the head and upper body with a paint scraper, inflicting serious injuries.

Jordan Fahy, 21, attacked his mother outside a unit block in Roberts Avenue, Randwick, according to police. He later appeared in Waverley Court on a charge of wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm. His 47-year-old mother was reported to be in a serious but stable condition in St Vincent’s Hospital.

Recognise These Two? Police would like to have a chat with this shirtless pair about an assault and theft that occurred on December 14, 2023, in Bondi.

If you have information about the incident or the identity of the men, please contact Waverley Police on 9369 9899 or Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000, quoting reference number 24/05.

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Kieran's Satire

A rather dark chapter.

First Journey of the La Perouse to Kurnell Ferry Declared a Huge Success Words Kieran Blake - kieranblakewriter.org Photo Ronald McDonald The first journey of the reinstated La Perouse to Kurnell ferry service transported former Prime Minister Scott Morrison to his new home in the middle of Botany Bay and attracted thousands of tourists.

One catamaran each from the Eastern Suburbs and The Shire disembarked from the newly-constructed wharves and met beside the renovated remains of the Endeavour, where Morrison will live for the foreseeable future with Jen and the girls.

Following the ceremonial surrender of Morrison’s Cronulla Sharks gear to local MP Mark Speakman, Morrison farewelled Captain Cook’s landing place 36 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

with a wave and a smirk.

“Mr Morrison is not wanted in The Shire anymore, and does not deserve to be the number-one ticket holder of the Sharks,” stated a spokesman for Speakman.

“Subsequently, the first trip of this ferry service was utilised to return him to his homeland in the Eastern Suburbs. However, the people of the East don’t want him either, so his boat was turned back and redirected to his beloved Endeavour, where he will complete his empathy training.”

After dumping the Morrisons in the Endeavour, ferries returned to their respective

wharves to collect masses of Australians eager for a photo opportunity with the ousted national leader as he hosed down the deck and fished for barramundi, before strumming his ukelele and longing for Cuba.

“Tickets sold out quicker than a Rapid Antigen Test,” claimed ferry operators.

“The first vessel was full of visitors all the way from Biloela in Queensland, and the second was reserved entirely for passengers registered only as Malcom and Lucy from Point Piper.”

“The sheer number of excited visitors converging on both sides of the bay confirms our predictions that reinstating the ferry service would generate significant tourism revenue for the region, and justifies the millions of taxpayers’ dollars invested in this COVID-recovery maritime infrastructure project,” stated those behind the plan.

“Furthermore, the Morrisons are likely to remain offshore indefinitely and this guarantees consistent tourist revenue for many years to come.”

Authorities responsible for the ferry service and the re-fitting of Captain Cook’s famous vessel acknowledge the obstacles preventing many Australians from visiting La Perouse and have organised for the Endeavour to circumnavigate Australia in the near future.

“It is hoped the Endeavour can also continue into the islands of the South Pacific so that residents can personally thank Mr Morrison and his donors for threatening the very existence of low-lying nations.”

“A stop in Hawaii is also scheduled, but we are adamant that once the vessel reaches Hawaii we will not be in any way responsible for Mr Morrison’s safety.”

The Unreliable Guide Follow Your Host’s Lead Some people are leaping about from dawn, others hate any noise before 10am. Whatever your host’s routines are, try and fit in with that. You have invaded their space, so you have to abide by the culture of their home. If you’re snoring when they want to be bouncing, or vice versa, they will soon wish you were elsewhere. The same applies to tidiness. If your host is a tidy freak, keep your stuff out of the way. But if they live in what looks like a bombsite to you, resist the passive aggressive urge to tidy up ‘for them’. They may be pleased, but more likely you’ll mess up their systems and they’ll feel judged and irritated.

Everyone knows one.

The Unreliable Guide to...

Being a Good House Guest Words Nat Shepherd Photo Randolph Dupree The Unreliable Guide did a great deal of traveling overseas over the long summer holiday and a decent chunk of that time involved being a house guest.

Generally speaking, while I love spending time with my friends and family, I prefer to stay in a hotel rather than kip on someone’s dusty futon alongside their farting, asthmatic labrador. I like to keep to my own schedule and do things the way I want, but it can be fun staying with people. You fast-track the catch-up when you see people all day, every day.

Yet, while it may appear to make financial sense to stay with someone you know, sometimes the emotional cost may 38 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

be higher than either of you imagined... So, if you want to be the perfect houseguest, The Unreliable Guide has a few tips and tricks to ensure everyone enjoys the situation and you are welcomed back.

Don’t Outstay Your Welcome There is a brilliant saying attributed to Benjamin Franklin that I quote frequently, “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.” In other words, the most important rule for being a good house guest is don’t take the piss. If you extend a “sure you can stay over” into a six-week sojourn on the communal sofa, you are highly likely to offend.

Short is most definitely sweet.

Don’t Be Stingy This one should go without saying, but some house guests fail to realise that there is no such thing as a free lunch or a free bed. Personally, I think it’s far cheaper to book your own Airbnb or hotel, because being a good house guest means you should at least offer to pay for meals, groceries, gifts and treats, and maybe even chip in for dunny paper, especially if you use a lot of it. If you think being a house guest means you’ll be getting a free ride, chances are you will annoy your host and won’t be invited back.

Finally, I think the simplest, most easily remembered tip to be a good houseguest is to say thank you, frequently. Appreciate the fact that this person has allowed you into their space and disrupted their routines for you. Tell them that their home is wonderful. Don’t, as a friend of mine’s guest recently did, criticise their sheets or tell them their garden needs weeding.

That way, you’ll stay friends and stand a chance of being invited back!

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News Randwick Mayor Philipa Veitch

Our warm, summer beach days are officially coming to an end, but the fun and celebrations across Randwick City are only just beginning.

On Saturday 17 February we celebrated our inclusive community and kicked off festivities for Mardi Gras with a successful Randwick Pride at Coogee Beach.

What’s On UNTIL SUN 3 MAR FUTURE DREAMING EXHIBITION 1-7pm Randwick Town Hall

Randwick Town Hall is currently bursting with colour with an immersive exhibition titled Future Dreaming. This fabulous event features artworks by multidisciplinary LGBTQIA+ artists and is on until Sunday 3 March.

This month Randwick Council is also celebrating the inspiring women in our community in honour of International Women’s Day. Up to 150 artworks will be on display at Randwick Community Centre for a week, from Saturday 2 March as part of our Women’s Art Prize.

In addition to showcasing the work of talented female artists, this exhibition recognises the important contribution women make to families, workplaces, and communities.

For curious community members, visit La Perouse Museum this month and discover the hidden gems of your suburb at Randwick Stories. This exhibition starts on Friday 22 March and celebrates the unique history of Randwick City through a range of unusual and wonderfully ordinary objects belonging to some of our long-time residents.

Finally, I encourage you to celebrate the end of summer at The Spot Festival on Sunday 24 March. This annual event is a splendid multicultural celebration of culture, food, and live music. There will be free activities for the kids and cultural performances to enjoy.

Councillor Philipa Veitch Mayor of Randwick 1300 722 542 randwick.nsw.gov.au

SAT 2 MAR – 9 MAR WOMEN’S ART PRIZE EXHIBITION Randwick Community Centre

FRI 22 MAR – SUN 13 OCT RANDWICK STORIES EXHIBITION La Perouse Museum

SUN 24 MAR THE SPOT FESTIVAL

1-8pm St Pauls Street and Perouse Road intersection, Randwick

Headnoise

Approval does not equal worth.

Addicted to Approval Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Valerie Idation How does it make us feel when we realise someone out there genuinely doesn’t like us?

Whether it’s a friend, colleague or family member, it can be quite a confronting question, especially if we thought we were doing okay in the eyes of such people. The desire to be liked by others is not an uncommon aspiration. Indeed it could be fair to say that all of us would prefer to be liked than not. But what happens when this need to be liked develops into a need for approval? And what happens when this need for approval starts to subliminally dictate what we do, how we feel, and even how we think?

The need for approval is the belief that if one person disapproves of us then potentially everyone disapproves, leading us to believe there is something wrong with ourselves. If this sounds familiar it might also be fair to assume that receiving positive feedback makes us feel better about ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing bad about receiving positive feedback, but problems can arise when we seek it in order to get some kind of validation of our feelings of self-worth.

The problem with seeking validation and approval to make us feel better about ourselves is that, as a concept, it’s quite illog-

40 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

ical. Why? Realistically, only our own thoughts and beliefs have the power to elevate our spirits; someone else’s approval has no ability to affect our mood unless we believe what they say is valid.

So, if we believe the compliment is earned then it’s our belief that makes us feel good. Others can say whatever they like about us - good or bad - but at the end of the day it’s only our thoughts that can influence our emotions.

Vulnerability to the opinions of others is the price we will pay if we become addicted to seeking praise. Once addicted to seeking praise, it can be hard to reverse, and it may even be used by others in the form of manipulation we may be more prone to giving into others’ demands in the fear they may look down upon or even reject us.

The bottom line here is that if we become addicted to the approval of others we are setting ourselves up for emotional blackmail. If we are feeling bad about ourselves because someone has criticised us then we are in effect buying into that other person’s criticism and believe that we are in fact a bad person.

The truth is that if someone disapproves of us it is actually their problem and not ours; it is a reflection of the other person’s irrational belief. In a general

sense, their negative reaction is directed more towards something we did rather than our overall worth. It begs the question, does approval equate to self-worth? No, it doesn’t, they are two separate things. If we flip this around and ask ourselves whether our self-worth needs to be approved by others, of course the answer is a big ‘no’. After all, no one is perfect, and I can guarantee you that those judging and disapproving of what we do will have faults of their own.

So, how does approval seeking develop? A fair assumption is that it develops over time based on how people interacted with us when we were young and impressionable. Children tend to believe what they are told by those older and important to them. If a parent constantly tells a child, “You’ll never learn,” or, “You’re no good,” you can see how the need for approval starts to develop, because children don’t have the capacity to reason. Furthermore, a parent who does everything for their child saying something like, “I’ll do it, you always get it wrong,” is preventing the child from learning and working it out for themselves. The truth is, mistakes are okay, as they help us learn what not to do in the future.

Fear of disapproval, once established, is difficult to unwind and can often predispose one to feelings of anxiety and depression later in life. The take-home message here is that disapproval and criticism can only upset us to the extent that we buy into such accusations brought against us. By learning the art of self-respect we can be well on the way to breaking the ties of measuring our worth through the approval of others. Remember, approval does not equal worth.

Jeremy Ireland is a local psychotherapist. Have you got a question? You can get in touch with Jeremy by calling 0400 420 042.

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Marjorie's Musings

Please be generous with your time.

Volunteering Makes us Rich Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill - Member for Coogee Photo Sam Maritan In recent months there has been a great deal of public attention focused on cost-of-living pressures and our economic well-being. Food and petrol prices, rents and the cost of houses, and of course efforts by government to reduce the pressures on households through tax relief and improved public services, have all been subject to continuous attention and debate. Yet we know that traditional measures of economic well-being, such as Gross Domestic Product (GDP) and other monetary indicators, fall far short of capturing the full spectrum of a society’s health and prosperity. Nowhere is this more apparent than on a sunny day in the East as we flock to the beaches and enjoy free leisure, social interaction and exercise, watched over by our volunteer lifesavers.

Most of us are not able to greatly influence the overall state of the economy but we can 42 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

contribute to our community’s prosperity, and many of us do.

Volunteering plays a crucial role in contributing to social capital and real wealth in lots of ways including fostering a sense of community and social cohesion. Both the giver and the receiver benefit. Volunteers often acquire new skills and improved mental and physical health as well as friendships as they engage in meaningful activities and help to meet a community need by filling gaps in community services and addressing social issues.

We have so many examples of volunteers in our community whose efforts positively impact economic and social issues in leisure, education, healthcare, poverty alleviation, environmental sustainability and more.

Imagine our beaches, sporting clubs, schools and hospitals without our volunteers. Our charities often provide an obvi-

ous example of where volunteers are helping those in need, but there are so many ways in which volunteers contribute to societal well-being in perhaps less obvious ways such as those teaching migrants and refugees English, professionals offering their assistance pro bono, those caring for injured animals or contributing to clean-ups, and the thousands coaching and adjudicating children’s sports and blowing whistles. Our volunteers are everywhere.

Although over half of all Australians undertake volunteer work and about a quarter engage in formal volunteering through an organisation, there has been a decline over the past decade in both the number of people volunteering and the number of hours undertaken. The number of people volunteering declined during COVID-19 and although there has been an increase over the past year, levels of volunteering still fall short of pre-COVID levels. It is also worth noting that more women than men volunteer and that even pre-COVID there was a decline in volunteering hours. This is obviously an issue that we should all be concerned about, and I hope that this article might provide a prompt for more members of our community to offer their time for a good cause.

Whether you are visiting the beach, the school or a hospital, spare a thought to all those volunteers who are contributing to our well-being. If you are not already, consider volunteering your time to improve the well-being of others and most likely enriching your own life. We have a right to expect that government will provide our basic services, but there is always so much more to do.

Thank you to all those volunteers who make my life and yours better.

Fishing Report

Lewis and the beautiful bronzey.

A Shark Saga Words Lewis Kennedy-Hunt Photo Charlotte Leedham It was a great feeling sinking the tyres into soft sand as we drove off the ferry and onto Moreton Island, free from our niggling car issues. Moreton Island is a sand island perched 80 kilometres off the coast of Brisbane and is famous for its pristine beaches and untouched freshwater lakes, often being referred to as the little brother of Fraser Island. However, unlike Fraser Island, where hardly anyone enters the water due to a fear of sharks, Moreton Island promotes the idea that sharks are not an issue and activities like snorkeling, swimming and surfing are the norm. However, as we soon discovered, this wasn’t exactly the case.

There’s something about being on an island that makes you feel so removed from reality, and our newly adopted routine of parking up at our protected beach spot and surfing all day was nothing short of blissful. Snorkeling at the Tangalooma shipwrecks, swimming at secluded freshwater lakes and roaring around the island in the Paj also kept us busy, but I was determined to put in a few hours of fishing before we left.

After spotting a jewfish tail protruding from a fisherman’s bucket one night as we drove back to the campsite, I decided that fishing with big baits from the beach was the go if I wanted to catch something decent.

The next afternoon we sent it down the beach and parked up in front of a suspect gutter with the plan to fish until day’s end. To catch a big fish you need a big bait, and a small silver fish known as ‘dart’ would be the perfect culprit for the job.

I quickly caught one in the shallows using one of the pippies Charlotte had foraged from the sand for me and prepared it for the task ahead.

44 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

After deploying a fillet of dart out into the gutter on heavier tackle and setting the rod in a holder we enjoyed some crackers and dip and admired the sunset over a few cold beverages.

Eventually the tranquility was violently interrupted as the rod buckled seaward and the 50lb braid started tearing off the screaming spool. In a matter of seconds we spotted a figure breaching from the water well beyond the breaking waves some hundreds of metres off the beach, before all of the commotion came to a sudden and silent halt. I retrieved my mutilated line and it was obvious I’d just been connected to something big with very sharp teeth. The light was quickly fading so we headed for camp vowing to return the next day with a shark trace with the hope of landing one.

Fast forward to the following afternoon and I was again facing the agonising pain of another lost fish. This time the shark had rasped through my leader above the metal trace with its rough skin, so I rigged up a trace four times the original length. The sun was very low by now and I had one last chance to catch one. After struggling for ten minutes to catch a dart, I finally jagged one and ran back up to the car to pin it onto my new rig. The only problem was that the shark trace was so long that I couldn’t cast it from the beach.

Most shark fishermen use kayaks to deploy their baits, but having only a surfboard with me I decided this was my only option if I wanted to taste success. And so, with the light fading, I paddled out with the bleeding bait dangling from my mouth. The next two minutes was perhaps the most unsafe I had ever felt on a surfboard and I tried not to look at the shadowed bottom as I moved through the channel. I dropped the bait and paddled as fast as I could for the shore, even catching a little wave in, happy to return to a worried Charlotte on the sand. But I knew it was worth it as the bait was in the zone and I had a rig that could get the job done.

I didn’t take my eyes off the rod for the next few minutes as I waited in anticipation. Then the rod started bouncing violently and the reel screamed off as I grabbed it, preparing myself for yet another ordeal with a shark. After an intense fight we found ourselves some hundreds of metres up the beach from where it was first hooked.

I landed the juvenile bronze whaler on the beach, carefully avoiding its snapping jaws and sharp teeth as I freed the hook from its mouth. After a few photos I pushed it back into the water and watched the beautiful creature swim back into the depths. There was an unwavering sense of accomplishment between us as we returned to the car having finally overcome our two-day shark saga something I won’t be forgetting in a hurry!

Tide Chart

March 2024 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Moons

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Moon • New Quarter • First Moon • Full • Last Quarter

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

1 0028 1.52 0642 0.62 1238 1.37 1835 0.59

2 0108 1.52 0733 0.67 1323 1.27 1913 0.66

3 0156 1.50 0836 0.70 1421 1.18 2002 0.72

•

5 0409 1.53 1118 0.64 1712 1.15 2236 0.74

6 0524 1.62 1226 0.52 1824 1.23 2350 0.66

7 0628 1.74 1320 0.40 1918 1.34

8 0052 0.54 0723 1.87 1407 0.28 2006 1.46

9 0147 0.43 0814 1.96 1452 0.19 2052 1.58

10 0240 0.33 0903 2.00 1534 0.16 2137 1.68

11 0332 0.27 0952 1.97 1615 0.17 2222 1.76

12 0425 0.26 1041 1.87 1656 0.24 2308 1.80

13 0519 0.29 1130 1.72 1737 0.34 2355 1.81

14 0616 0.36 1221 1.54 1817 0.47

15 0043 1.77 0716 0.46 1315 1.36 1900 0.60

16 0134 1.71 0825 0.55 1416 1.22 1949 0.71

17 0233 1.63 0941 0.61 1534 1.13 2053 0.79

18 0343 1.56 1100 0.64 1705 1.13 2213 0.82

19 0458 1.54 1208 0.62 1815 1.18 2329 0.79

20 0603 1.56 1259 0.58 1902 1.26

21 0030 0.73 0654 1.59 1338 0.54 1941 1.34

22 0117 0.66 0736 1.63 1411 0.50 2014 1.41

23 0158 0.60 0813 1.65 1440 0.47 2045 1.47

24 0234 0.55 0846 1.66 1508 0.45 2115 1.53

25 0309 0.52 0919 1.65 1533 0.45 2144 1.58

26 0345 0.50 0952 1.61 1600 0.46 2214 1.63

27 0421 0.49 1026 1.56 1626 0.49 2244 1.66

28 0500 0.51 1101 1.48 1654 0.54 2316 1.67

29 0541 0.54 1139 1.40 1724 0.60 2352 1.66

30 0626 0.58 1221 1.32 1757 0.66

31 0032 1.64 0717 0.62 1310 1.24 1838 0.73

4 0256 1.50 0956 0.70 1541 1.13 2113 0.76

•

•

Aussie Summer Humidity Is In Full Swing STAY HYDRATED

Serving The Local Community Since 1978 201 Clovelly Rd, Randwick runnersshop.com.au 9315 87 11 Issue 230 March 2024 The Beast 45

Subject Burgerworld Location Bondi Photographer Henry Jamieson @bondibynature

Subject Summer Lovin' Location Bondi Photographer Yoram Kappel

Subject Brisk Location Coogee Photographer Kim McCarthy

Subject Summer Sunrise Location Bondi Photographer Robert Anderson

Subject The Knoll Location Bondi Photographer Sally Wu

Subject Double Hook-up Location Bondi Photographer Amanda Jane

Please send pics to photos@thebeast.com.au

Album Reviews

THE SMILE Wall of Eyes

Label XL Recordings Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating  I’m still not entirely sure why this band exists. Are Thom Yorke and Johnny Greenwood ghosting the rest of Radiohead, but keeping the door slightly ajar by not completely quitting the band (which I always thought was ‘gaslighting’, but apparently that’s something else altogether)? Regardless, Wall of Eyes is worth a listen. It has some incredibly beautiful moments, interlaced with some incredibly weird moments, plus a little bit of ‘meh’ thrown in for good measure. Pretty much what you’d expect from anything Thom Yorke’s touched since In Rainbows. I think I’ll stick to the back catalogue.

ALKALINE TRIO

BLOOD, HAIR, AND EYEBALLS Label Rise Records Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating 

Come along to your local Resident Precinct Meeting Precincts are meetings of residents who get together regularly to discuss local matters or issues of concern in their neighbourhood. Waverley is split into 13 Precincts and meetings are open to any person living within the Precinct boundaries.

This March, the following meetings are on: Mill HIll / Bondi Junction – Monday 4 March, 6.30 – 8.30pm Vaucluse / Diamond Bay – Thursday 14 March, 7 – 9pm Visit waverley.nsw.gov.au/precinct to find out location of the above meetings closer to the date.

Not sure which Precinct you belong to?

Visit waverley.nsw.gov.au/findyourprecinct

Waverley Council proudly supports resident run Precinct meetings.

If the top half of the latest Triple J Hottest 100 is a sign of things to come, guitar driven bands like Alkaline Trio won’t be around for much longer, so best enjoy them while you still can. Actually, who am I kidding? Skate punk will never die! I’m just getting a bit grumpy because I’m aging out. Get over it, mate. The fact I’m past my youth and can’t even remember life before Alkaline Trio shows just how long they’ve been around too. They’re still kicking goals though. Back to their original line-up and dare I say their early best, thus proving there’s still some life left in us old dogs yet.

VACATIONS

No Place Like Home Label No Fun Records Reviewer @aldothewriter Rating  Jangle pop seems to be a bit of a thing at the moment. Does anyone else immediately think of knobbly knees and poo-brown corduroy pants when they hear it? A skinny white guy with a crooked smile and an open-necked, button up paisley shirt perhaps? No? Maybe it’s just me then?

Vacations have nailed the sound at least, if not the look. ‘Midwest’ and ‘Close Quarters’ are both great songs and certainly wouldn’t be out of place on any playlist. In fact, I’m not sure if it’s their name, or just because they’re from Newcastle, but the whole album just screams “Road trip to the beach music!”

With over 90 years of experience in Eastern Suburbs property, we get results.

Call: 02 9387 1700 www.willsproperty.com.au Issue 230 March 2024 The Beast 47

Beast Brainteasers

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3. Female Seinfeld character (6) 4. Official examination of financial accounts (5) 5. A mechanical sled manned by crews of two or four (7) 6. Watery part of milk that remains after the formation of curds (4) 11. Spike on a stem or leaf (5) 12. Cooling system abbreviated (1,1) 13. Negative answer (2) 15. Extremely famous (6) 16. Residence of the French President (6) 18. Machine for shaping wood (5) 19. Perch on which domestic fowl sleep (5) 20. Pack or store (4)

Trivial Trivia Words Lisa Anderson Photo Ben Barnes 1. Which of these sports was added to the 2028 Olympic Games; darts, squash or croquet?

2. What is a somnambulist?

3. Which Spice Girl was the only one named after a spice?

Diamonds in the Sky. 48 The Beast March 2024 Issue 230

4. Who was on the first cover of Rolling Stone magazine?

5. What was the children’s story written by Ian Fleming?

6. The Yukon River flows through which US state?

7. What is a male goose called?

8. What island in Queensland is now called K’Gari?

9. Where is the longest golf course in the world?

10. Which alcoholic beverage holder was invented in Australia?

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Proposed termination of Strata Scheme No. 80634 being property situated at 234 Bronte Road, Waverley NSW 2024.

Notice is given of an intention to apply to the Registrar General for an order terminating the above Strata Scheme and the consequent winding up of the Owners Corporation, pursuant to section 142 of the Strata Schemes Development Act 2015 (NSW).

Any person having any claim against the Owners Corporation of the above Strata Scheme or any estate or interest in or claim against any of the lots comprised in the Strata Scheme is required, on or before 10 March 2024, to send particulars of the estate, interest or claim to Makinson d’Apice Lawyers, Level 10, 135 King Street, Sydney NSW 2000.

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Beardy from Hell Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Expecting your mates to share the same enthusiasm for something as you will only disappoint you and annoy them even more.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 Everything is more enjoyable when you’re in good shape, so commit to sorting your rig out before focusing on anything else.

Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Consider whether the benefits of having kids compensates for the pain of maintaining them. It’s never too late to give them away.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 You may think it’s acceptable to venture a kilometre from the beach semi-naked, but spare a thought for the person behind you.

Visions Beardy from Hell

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 A café with wonky tables and uncomfortable chairs doesn’t really want your business. Don’t go there at all, or do a runner.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 Be very careful getting a massage anywhere in Bondi Junction, especially if the shop doesn’t have street frontage.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 An overconfident and slightly annoying barista will fill your day with hope, then ruin it with a rubbish coffee.

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 A long overdue skin check will either save your life or give you the confidence to get burnt for another year without the anxiety.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 Telling your mates you put in an offer on a place you can’t afford and were never really going to buy will not impress them.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 The point in your life where you can take up a new hobby and actually get good at it is officially over. Stick to what you know.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 Remind your Byron mates that it’s a contrived shithole full of flogs who only moved because they couldn’t afford to stay here.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 Your accrued sick leave isn’t going to be paid out when you get fired, so now is the perfect time to start using it up.

Star Signs

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Trivial Trivia Solutions 1. Squash 2. A sleepwalker 3. Ginger 4. John Lennon 5. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang 6. Alaska 7. Gander 8. Fraser Island 9. Australia (Nullabor Links) 10. The wine cask 1

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