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Our online system is up and running. Greetings and best wishes from all of us at the College. We hope you are faring well and safely as we pass through this most challenging of times together. Things remain uncertain with no identifiable end date in sight and Winter is coming; so settle in and learn more with us – online. There are some things you should know about our online courses: • • • • • • • • • • • •
We don’t find the open slather, as many as you can pack in style of delivery suitable for online learning of quality. We therefore restrict enrolments to 10 students per class to ensure a better experience for our students in a more class like environment. Because class enrolments are limited, we encourage you to select your courses and book promptly. Our teachers are, well, experienced teachers! Not mildly gifted social influencers with hobbies! We use a variety of platforms to deliver our online classes depending on the nature and length of a particular course. Mostly we use Zoom. We strongly recommend that you use a personal computer or tablet device to participate. We firmly suggest that a mobile telephone is unsuitable for online learning. We supply you with tips, recommendations and an online invitation to your course when you book. You can book “one on one” online class training by appointment, please call us for details. You can book “family” online class training by appointment, again, please call us for details. We are always available by telephone to answer your questions or assist with your selection.
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A Gradual Return to Normality Words James Hutton, Publisher Welcome to the June 2020 edition of The Beast, probably the only independent news media left in the country as this pandemic continues to take its toll. Thanks to Clovelly’s Russell Tate for this month’s artwork. We are stoked to have his illustration featured on our cover, as well as the COVID-19 infographic inside (please flick me an email if you’d like a print). I’m hesitant to share my views on divisive issues, but there’s something brewing at Bronte that I need to mention. Plans to renovate the Bronte Surf Club have moved to the second stage of community consultation and there is concern within the local community that the proposed development will dominate the natural features of the beach
8 The Beast June 2020
and impact this idyllic spot that means so much to us all. There’s no doubt the club needs a revamp - the current building is falling apart - but a new clubhouse that remains within the footprint of the existing building, incorporating all of the public facilities into a single structure, should be an option. Dave Brown Place, also known as ‘The Cubes’ (a culturally significant, heritage nominated monument), should also be preserved for future generations. Please have a look and make up your own minds. Council would like to hear from you, so please sign the change.org petition (search ‘Bronte’) and share your thoughts at haveyoursay. waverley.nsw.gov.au. Cheers, James
The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editor firstname.lastname@example.org Advertising Enquiries email@example.com Rates and Specs thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 61,000 copies are delivered every month; 56,500 are placed in mailboxes and 4,500 in local shops. PEFC Certified The Beast uses paper from sustainably managed forests. Letters to the Editor Please send your feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org and include your name and the suburb you live in.
CONTENTS June 2 0 2 0 Issue 1 85
8 9 10 12 18 22 28
Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Local News Bits and Pieces Local Artist
Before the storm, by Liza Poppert.
30 32 34 36 38 40 41
Tide Chart Unreliable Guide Satire Sporting Life Marj's Musings Headnoise Thumbs
42 44 46 48 49 50 50
Dana's Recipe Business Guide Local Photos Album Reviews Brainteasers Beardy from Hell Solutions
Moshe Rabbenu up to his old tricks.
Our Newfound Father Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Sue Narmy While Australians were focussed solely on The Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020 (aka COVID-19), little did we know that the prime minister was covertly “committing Australia to God”. I am not against ScoMo making a personal commitment to God - he could commit himself to a giant fruit bat for all I care - but committing Australia to an entity that may not exist?! Sloppy and incompetent leadership in Pearl’s book. Little wonder the Liberal-National Party is so quick to commit Australia’s public assets and taxpayer funds to private entities without proper due diligence, entities that appear to deliver nothing to the public aside from political party donations. 10 The Beast June 2020
My issue is that no one asked Pearl whether she wanted to be committed to God; I have been married three times and commitment is not my strong point. Surely a national commitment to Theocracy warrants public consultation? Where was the referendum or plebiscite on the matter? What about the mandatory focus group to gauge public opinion, along with a cosy chat with Alan Jones? How convenient that parliament has been suspended to avoid debate on where the ‘commitment’ would be better placed, i.e. the environment, education or the health system. And what of the opinions of Australia’s favoured children - Big Gina, the Murdochs, the Institute of
Public Affairs? Why are they not having a hand in directing the commitment? Pearl also requires clarification as to which God, and whose God. The religion of Jedi-ism is rather appealing to Pearl during these troubled times, so if God comes in the form of a resurrected Alec Guinness then I am all for it. The disturbing thing is that ScoMo’s commitment of Australia to God is based, at least in part, on what he feels is a ‘prophecy over our country’ in the Old Testament Book of Isaiah - “The Lord will... satisfy your needs in a sun scorched land”. Does this mean The Lord is also assisting sun scorched nations in Africa and the Middle East? Does Isaiah also refer to the worship of coal mining? Isaiah certainly mentions refugees but in a compassionate way, certainly not helpful to ScoMo’s stop-the-boats cause. The prophet Isaiah is a favourite with evangelicals, a group the PM ‘claims’ to identify with. I use inverted commas here because my God-dar is as good as my Gaydar; I have worked with my fair share of marketing supremos and I doubt that Morrison truly believes the happy-clappy dogma he spouts. God is another convenient marketing tool in a long list of spin. As much as I am disappointed with the PM committing Australia to God, I am equally disappointed with his need to consult a 740BC visionary on how to run the country. At least he could have gone all hipster and contemporary by embracing Marcus Aurelius or taken advantage of his daggy 1970s dad moniker by quoting Nostradamus or Pearl’s personal fave, ‘Chariots of the Gods’. In fact, I have arranged for my original 1968 publication to be couriered forthwith to our newfound Father of the Nation - ScoMoses.
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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The Wonderful People of the Eastern Suburbs A MESSAGE FROM OUR MAYOR I am aware that there is anger in the community about the approval last month of a Woolworths Metro outlet at the site of the former Bronte RSL Club. Many residents have been clear in their view that a Woolworths outlet is not the right fit for the site or the neighbourhood. I firmly agree with this view and am very concerned about preserving and protecting the ongoing vibrancy of our beautiful and popular Bronte village. I must however stress that the decision to approve the DA was made by the Waverley Local Planning Panel and not by the council. The panel is made up of a pool of planning experts, independent of the council, who meet monthly. Councillors are no longer involved in the decisionmaking process for determining DAs referred to the panel. The panel determines only those applications required under legislation including sensitive developments and developments which have a significant number (ten or more) unique objections. I have been advised that the panel followed all due process and in accordance with planning laws, the Local Environmental Plan and the Development Control Plan when assessing the Woolworths application. I reiterate that councillors were not involved the decisionmaking process.
12 The Beast June 2020
I am very concerned to ensure the vitality of our neighbourhood centres are preserved as they are important anchors for our community connectedness. To put forward your ideas about how we can preserve the vibrancy of our neighbourhood centres, I urge everyone to make a submission about our Shape Your Villages By the Sea strategy, which is aimed at providing a shared vision for the future of our villages and is currently open for exhibition. For more, visit: www.waverley.nsw. gov.au/building/major_projects/ strategy/help_shape_the_future_of_waverley. Paula Masselos Mayor of Waverley EDITORIAL COMMENTS CANNOT BE TRUE Dear James - I feel that I must call you out over comments in the May edition (Thumbs, The Beast, May 2020). You made the following statement: “Apart from the Ruby Princess debacle and the failure to close our borders earlier, particularly to US arrivals, the response from all levels of government has been amazing - it had to be.” Firstly, why would closing borders to the USA be the most pressing issue? Surely China would win that one hands down. As for closing borders to flights in general, it never happened and still flights land and take off for all destinations worldwide. I only
arrived in Sydney at the end of January and so I have followed this quite closely. Many flights from China continued to arrive after the politicians said otherwise. Anyone can monitor the number of flights arriving at an airport as well as their ports of origin. Another area where government has not done a good job is with the schools. There was a completely ambiguous message on schools. While suggesting that kids should stay at home they emphasised that schools would stay open. I believe that kind of indecision has confused many parents. Your editorial seems to be blaming the USA for the pandemic and claiming Australian authorities have done a great job, when neither is the case. Chris Strange Bondi FUNNY AND HEARTFELT Hi James - Sorry if this is a bit weird but just wanted to email to say I really liked your opening of The Beast's May 2020 edition, titled Last Mag Standing. It was funny and heartfelt and cheered me up. Stay safe, Molly Coogee RAINWATER RECYCLING I recall reading previously that Sydney recycles something like 2.5 per cent of its rainfall. Then in the Randwick City Council What’s On section of a previous issue of The Beast I noted mention that “Randwick Council has 9,540 stormwater pipes!” With so many pipes, and this is just one council, shouldn’t we be putting more resources into ensuring these pipes form an improved infrastructure that significantly increases the woefully low percentage of our rainfall that is currently recycled? Dave North Bondi SATIRE Dear James - I’m writing about the Centennial Park mountain bike park article on page 35 of your May 2020 edition (Centennial Park to Host New Mountain
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Bike Trails, The Beast, May 2020). I’m sad and disappointed that it’s not real. I’m beyond embarassed by the number of people I excitedly told about this awesome development prior to reading the author’s details. Think I’ll just go self-isolate for a while longer... Rob Coogee NOT FUNNY Hi - I feel very deeply shocked and offended by the recent article I just read in your magazine, OMG. Beach, Please. WTF? (The Beast, May 2020 Edition). Could you please explain what is the purpose of that article? It is very sexist, giving an opinion on what women should wear at the beach! What reaction do you think this kind of article will create against women? Some women might get bullied at the beach now because someone is going to give his opinion about the size of her bikini. Even if this was meant to be a joke this was not funny or smart. I hope you will apologise to all women next month, we are in a free country with equal rights between men and women! Caroline Bronte THANK YOU Thank you. For keeping this going, keeping people in work, giving us a distraction. Excellent writing, beautiful presentation (if ever you need an editor, I’d be honoured) and something cheerful in our mailboxes. Thanks again, especially after all you’ve been through in the last few years. Bless you all. Belinda Bondi Beach VINNIES CHARING CROSS Morning James - Just a brief letter to the editor, or rant at the editor (sorry), or whatever, regarding the Vinnies at Charing Cross. Here are some photos I took this morning outside Vinnies (9.15am Monday, April 6). I’m not sure if you have ever covered this in an issue before but this is disgraceful. Who are
14 The Beast June 2020
these people dumping their junk? How can they think this is ok? What needs to happen for this to stop? A vigilante group sitting in front of the store every night to shame those who are dumping? I’d be up for that, any joiners? This happens regularly but it’s been worse the past week or so given isolation probably has everyone clearing out their home. For the record, this Vinnies is actually closed and they have signs out the front asking for junk not to be left in the street and even provide information as to where to deliver donations. I’m not sure how you can include this in next month’s edition but if you had a way it would be awesome to raise this issue. Jodi Waverley
The Waverley Tip. HEAVY BREATHING I have recently become acutely aware of a new concern that people are experiencing lately. In this time of pandemic and isolation in our glorious early autumn, with its amazing blue skies and clear air, it’s no surprise many folks are taking their exercise along the promenade at Bondi Beach. With tourists virtually gone, and locals staying local, the beach may be empty but the pedestrian path along the beachfront is nevertheless getting a hammering. When navigating through a populated pathway, most people have adopted the ‘swerve’ technique of passing oncoming foot traffic, allowing a nice wide berth and observing physical distanc-
ing practices. It’s considerate. But somehow joggers seem to be in a class of their own, apparently without the same guidelines for maintaining space as the rest of us. Not all of them, of course, but those that are appear to just set their course and nothing will budge them from it. In the old days, this would probably go unnoticed, but now, in light of the fact they are breathing heavily - panting, actually - it is most disconcerting to be caught in the cross wind with them bearing down on you. More than disconcerting, it's just not cool. So, hey joggers, keep in mind there are other people out there trying to take their exercise too. Every person using the streets, parks and footpaths is taking their precious 30 minutes and hopes and expects not to be endangered by the spray issuing from the open mouth of a running enthusiast (check out emerging science on this breath spray phenomenon). Please allow the necessary space, and maybe could you close your mouth when you pass the rest of us? Thanks. Tina H Bondi CORONA AND A RUSSIAN PRINCE IN COOGEE Remoteness may have saved Australians once again from disaster, this time from an infectious virus. By early May, the Coronavirus had infected only a small proportion of the Australian population. A key number measures ‘Death/1M pop’, fatalities per one million people, i.e. how many people have died as a proportion of an overall population. At the beginning of May, it was 600 for front-runner Belgium, 300 for the UK, 170 for the USA and just 3 for Australia. Compared to these countries, Australia lost a very tiny proportion of its people. At the same time, the corona crisis had lowered global oil prices and a Mercedes-Benzdriving anarchist from Coogee got Premium 95 at his favourite petrol station in sweet Marrickville for just 96 cents a litre.
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June 2020 The Beast 15
Meanwhile, the inner-Coogee lefty was able to see Bondi on his regular coastal walk because air pollution (a global killer) had gone down dramatically. Almost no aircraft were flying, big trucks had disappeared, most car traffic was gone and not even the mums were driving their kids to school in their ‘urban assault vehicles’ (euphemistically called SUVs) . Also, core neoliberal ideologies were shredded and people let go of the egoistic ‘greed is good’ trap of outright selfishness. Instead, when we were running low on toilet paper, three of our neighbours helped. Other neighbours organised a street party (don’t tell the council!) where everyone sat on their front lawns eating and drinking while a barbecue was wheeled onto the street and fired up. Kids played happily, with everyone keeping the 1.5 metre distance from each other, of course. Under coronavirus, Australians put the senseless rat race aside, knowing that even if you win it, you will still be a rat!
Some might even have rediscovered the eternal human beauty of Prince Pyotr Alexeyevich Kropotkin’s Mutual Aid and found that help, solidarity and cooperation - not relentless competition - is what makes us human. The inner-Coogee lefty strikes again! Thomas Coogee SLOW TORTURE BY SKATEBOARD Dear Beast - COVID-19 stay-ins are daily, longing for lunchtime, dinnertime or the divine intervention of a melodious Mr Whippy van, when the arbitrary, relentless, torturous clattering, banging and scraping of unsupervised kids playing for hours on skateboards in the streets will stop, albeit briefly. Even a break in the glorious autumn weather would be welcome, when wet rainy days will provide sweet relief from non-stop skating racket. Ramps manufactured by children with chuck-out finds or
hastily nailed together by Dad or Mum make the situation worse, and lack of social distancing and respect for parked cars and the dangers of passing vehicles make for a precarious situation. The incessant noise very disrespectfully disturbs sleeping bubs, napping adults, the elderly and sick, those working from home and precious weekend sleep-ins, and sparks fits of frantic barking by otherwise docile dogs. In fact noisy street skating disturbs just about everyone within earshot during this crisis. While on a call to colleagues, they remarked they could hear skateboards clattering - from Canberra! A fan of a board - any type of board - I am, and always will be. A fan of skateboards clattering on suburban streets and footpaths for hours and hours, especially when most people are doing the right thing - staying home trying to preserve serenity and sanity the community is not. Ricky Bellinger Bondi
Sign up to our e-newsletter Subscribe to our free monthly e-newsletter Woollahra News so you don’t miss a thing. We’ll be sharing updates on our projects, events and services, and providing opportunities to have your say and celebrate our local community. To subscribe visit woollahra.nsw.gov.au/enews 16 The Beast June 2020
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Surf Club Redesign Raises Concerns Words Nicola Smith Photo CHROFI architects Plans to renovate the Bronte Surf Life Saving Club have moved to the second stage of community consultation, with Waverley Council calling on residents to submit feedback on the proposed new building. Under the plan, the current clubhouse, which is over 45 years old, will be demolished to make way for updated buildings including lifeguard and first aid facilities, a kiosk, gymnasium, meeting rooms, a commercial kitchen and rather large function centre that has been redesigned to face the park and the water. Male and female change rooms will be built, as well as facilities that meet the training and storage needs of Waverley’s professional lifeguards, as well as the volunteer lifesavers who do patrols from September to April each year. The promenade will also be refurbished, with new outdoor showers and a separate community facilities building behind the main compound. Waverley Council Mayor Paula Masselos said that community engagement will continue to be significant in the planning process. “In 2019, we asked what values and activities were important to the community with regards to this project. Now 18 The Beast June 2020
we’re asking the community for feedback on the design they helped create,” Mayor Masselos told The Beast. A total of 226 people registered to be a part of the public participation stage 1, however only 80 people responded to the online survey (0.1 per cent of Waverley’s total population of 72,250), of which 37 were club members. The resulting 2019 report revealed that sustainability was of the highest importance to the community, with 91.5 per cent of respondents saying it was important that the building was durable, sustainable and highlighted the natural environment. Council believes that this significance has been reflected in the proposed design. The new facilities will also accommodate communitydriven lifesaving activities like nippers and bronze medallion training, helping to prepare the next generation of lifesavers to patrol Bronte Beach. President of the Bronte SLSC, Basil Scaffidi, said the club is pleased with the design and how plans are progressing. “The current clubhouse was built 46 years ago and a lot has changed in that time,” Mr Scaffidi said. “We are delighted that Waverley Council endorsed this preferred design option and
we’re looking forward to hearing how the community responds.” Mayor Masselos is optimistic about the improvements the current plan will make. “The exciting building project will result in significant improvements to amenities, provide better lifeguard facilities, open up new view corridors to the ocean, improve workplace health and safety requirements and will ensure the service the club provides to the community will continue into the future.” There seems to be some support for the proposed design, particularly among club members. However, the plan has raised concern within the local community, with many residents questioning the need for such a large man-made structure on what is arguably Australia’s most beautiful beach. Locals have also questioned the need for a commercial kitchen and function centre in a building that primarily exists to provide a volunteer lifesaving service. The proposed demolition and redesign of Dave Brown Place, a heritage nominated monument memorialising a Roosters legend and rugby league immortal, has also upset many residents. ‘The Cubes’, as they are affectionately known by locals, are historically and socially significant to many Bronte residents and the spiritual home of the Bronte Boardriders Club, a grassroots organisation that has produced several internationally renowned surfers and Australian champions. Waverley Council is taking submissions about the Bronte SLSC redesign until June 3. If you would like to have your say, visit haveyoursay. waverley.nsw.gov.au.
HAVE YOUR SAY
Bronte Surf Club and Community Facilities
Proposed Bronte Surf Club
Council is working with Bronte Surf Lifesaving Club to deliver a modern, fit-for-purpose and sustainable new surf club and community facilities. We used the results of community and stakeholder consultation to develop a concept and now we would like your feedback on the design you helped create. Complete the survey on Have Your Say Waverley, open 6 May â€’ 3 June 2020.
Proposed Vie Proposed community facilities Proposed View - Public Amenities
To complete the survey: haveyoursay.waverley.nsw.gov.au Canâ€™t do the survey online? Please call 9083 8322 For more information visit: waverley.nsw.gov.au/projects
CHROFI & TYRRELL STUDIO
Perks of the job.
Mexican for Medics - Supporting Our Frontline Medical Workers Words Nicola Smith Photo Emma Read Due to a significant downturn in the wake of the social distancing regulations, local business Beach Burrito Company faced a difficult choice: shut the doors, stand down all of the staff and effectively go into hibernation, or keep the doors open and try to punch through. Then, with the chips stacked against them, business owners Blake and Emma Read had an idea. They would set up a GoFundMe page and start delivering free burritos to the overworked medical staff at our hospitals, not only in the Eastern Suburbs but across Australia. Two months on and the Mexican for Medics program has already delivered a whopping 700 burritos to medical staff. “It was a way to fight back and also do something positive as a business and not stay in a dark place,” Emma told The Beast. 20 The Beast June 2020
Supporting medical staff was an easy choice when deciding where to focus their efforts. “One of our friend’s partners works for a hospital,” Blake said. “They were too busy to eat and not ready to trust the food being delivered.” “Medics are people that are universally approved of, it’s very clear,” Emma added. Of all the items on the Beach Burrito Company menu, burritos were chosen as the meal to donate with doctors’ and nurses’ safety in mind. “We chose burritos because they’re quite hygienic. The medical staff can wash their hands and peel the foil back as they eat without touching the food,” Emma told The Beast. The company had its whole staff team complete the COVID-19 infection control training certificate to ensure the safety of their food. Currently, all of the cooks preparing the
Mexican for Medics meals are trained as NSW food safety supervisors. As founder and managing director of Beach Burrito Company since 2006, Blake also saw the program as a way to look after his employees and keep his business running in the face of low sales. “It was going to help us too, because the money would go through the business and keep our staff employed, then flow on to the hospitals, so there’s a benefit on both fronts.” The campaign is truly community-driven, with the GoFundMe page already receiving over $11,000 in donations to finance the production and delivery of burritos. “We’ve raised twelve grand and we’ll spend all of that on getting burritos out to medics,” Emma explained. “I’d love people to know that they can give $10, $20 or even $5, it really doesn’t matter how much.” Through partnerships with their loyal suppliers, Beach Burrito Company is able to stretch the donations further and provide more meals to medics. Mission Foods and Impulse Trading have volunteered burrito ingredients as they wanted to play their part too. The Mexican for Medics campaign also gives the community a way to be involved in the fight against coronavirus. Donors know they are supporting the wellbeing of health workers in their area who are on the front line of the crisis. The feedback so far has been overwhelmingly positive, although a complimentary margarita with each delivery would really top it off! If you would like to support our frontline medical workers with a free burrito, visit beachburritocompany.com.
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Bits and Pieces from Around the Beaches Words Nicola Smith Photo Catherine Makinson SAVING LOTS OF WATER As part of its commitment to conserving water, Randwick City Council will be commencing a major stormwater harvesting project at Maroubra Beach. This will be Council’s 14th stormwater harvesting system and its biggest to date. The project will involve the construction of two stormwater harvesting facilities and the water harvested will provide irrigation for six reserves, as well as the toilets at Maroubra Surf Club and South Maroubra amenities. The system will save up to 40 million litres of potable water every year, as well as financial savings. For more information, visit randwick.nsw.gov.au. A DREAM COME TRUE If you’ve ever been on a South Coast holiday you’ll be excited to hear that Pilgrims has opened on Macpherson Street, Bronte. Pilgrims offers healthy, wholesome and locally sourced vegetarian options, and Eastern Suburbs locals will now have the opportunity to experience that same
Crazy COVID kids.
simple and community-focused food in their own backyard. We’ve dreamt of the day that this would happen and it’s finally become a reality. Please visit pilgrimsbronte.com.au. SMALL SCULPTURE PRIZE Established in 2001 as the first national acquisitive prize showcasing quality and diversity of smaller dimension sculptures, the Woollahra Small Sculpture Prize attracts strong support from artists, collectors and critics. Entries for this year’s competition are open until July 17, with artists required to submit images of their original, freestanding sculpture of up to 80cm in any dimension. Entries will also be accepted for wall hanging sculptural work as it is anticipated that the finalists’ exhibition will coincide with the planned opening of Woollahra Council’s new art gallery in the former Woollahra Library heritage building in Double Bay later this year. Please visit sculptureprize. woollahra.nsw.gov.au.
NO MORE TANTRUMS Waverley Council is pleased to announce that Sculpture by the Sea has signed a licence agreement to remain in Bondi.The agreement is for a five-year term with an option of a further five years for Sculpture by the Sea commencing this year. Waverley Council has provided a lot of support to Sculpture by the Sea for the past 23 years and looks forward to this year’s event in whatever exciting form it takes. BEAST COVER PRINTS Following the awesome response to last month’s cover illustration by Harrison Murdoch, we’ve decided to make prints of our art series magazine covers available for purchase to Eastern Suburbs residents for the foreseeable future. This month’s cover was designed by Clovelly artist Russell Tate, who also designed the COVID-19 infographic on the centre spread. The prints are available in A3 and A2 sizes and can be ordered by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
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Join this free Council program and turn your garden into a natural oasis for you and small wildlife. Receive free native seedlings and customised expert advice. Currently only for Tamarama and Bronte area Not in Tamarama or Bronte? Don’t worry, you can still learn how to create garden habitat by going to habitatsteppingstones.org.au and selecting ‘Waverley’. Join now! Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org secondnature.org.au/living-connections
June 2020 The Beast 23
Up go the fences.
What the Heck Just Happened? Words Nicola Smith Photo Reece Trictions It’s been less than two months since The Beast posted an article online covering the impact of new social distancing laws on some of our local businesses, but it feels a lot longer. For many Eastern Suburbs residents, the sight of our beaches fenced off and desserted, still perfectly smooth from the beach rake, was a surreal scene. The sight of people lining up for coffee, smoothie bowls and organic bread was stranger still; wasn’t everyone supposed to be at home? Our local area has not been immune to the dramatic and worldwide impacts of the coronavirus over the past months. But as the first social distancing restrictions are eased, we are coming out the other side better off than most. As time goes on it is clear that, unlike Italy, America and the UK, strict social distancing measures have had more impact on day to day life here than the virus itself. At first, the outlook for the Eastern Suburbs was grim. Bondi Beach made national headlines when it filled up on a hot weekend. Backpacker parties followed and Bondi be24 The Beast June 2020
came one of Sydney’s COVID-19 hotspots. In fact, with a cumulative 180 cases, the Waverley LGA had the highest number of infections of any in Sydney. As Randwick, Waverley and Woollahra councils rushed to close beaches and the federal government introduced new restrictions on local businesses, the projections for the coming months were dire. Children were sent home, buying restrictions at supermarkets were enforced due to shortages of essential items and thousands of workers lost their jobs. Almost overnight, life in the carefree Eastern Suburbs became unrecognisable. But after two months of this new normal, these nationwide measures have proved extraordinarily successful. Case numbers have dropped significantly to an average of 0.5 active case per postcode in the Eastern Suburbs - a great achievement for one of the previous virus hot spots. A medical worker at a local Eastern Suburbs hospital told The Beast that they were thrilled with the success of Australia’s fight against coronavirus.
“We thought we were going to get hit like Italy,” they said. “We spent six weeks getting prepared; we’re completely ready and it has not happened.” One reason for this may be the success of pop-up testing clinics at Bondi Pavilion, Prince of Wales Hospital and Spring Street, Bondi Junction. In Waverley alone there have been over 97 tests for every 1,000 residents, a huge number compared to the national average of 33.5 tests per 1,000 residents, and the UK average of 28.3 tests per 1,000. Medical experts agree that higher rates of testing are key to tracing and containing the virus, as is enthusiastic adherence to social distancing rules. Waverley Mayor Paula Masselos said that community efforts in social distancing have made all the difference in reducing the rate of infection. “On the whole, I think the community has done an amazing job and people have recognised the need to pull together. Without that cooperation we wouldn’t have been able to flatten the curve as we have,” she told The Beast. The consequence of effective social distancing has been a significant economic impact for local businesses, with many proprietors reporting losses of nearly 100 per cent of trade. Waverley, Woollahra and Randwick councils provided early support to local businesses, announcing relief packages within days of each other. All three councils waived health, hygiene, licensing and fire safety inspection fees for local businesses, and rent relief for small business tenants of council-owned properties has also been provided. Waverley Council even offered up to 100 per cent rent relief in some cases, and both Randwick and Waverley councils are further
supporting small businesses by waiving interest on overdue council fees. Woollahra Mayor Susan Wynne told The Beast that Woollahra’s small business support scheme has high priority for the council. “Supporting our local businesses has been a key focus for all our residents and I’m pleased Council has been able to help ease the economic impact of COVID-19 through relief measures for our local small businesses,” she said. The local, council-driven response to supporting small business has paired well with a groundswell of community support. Chris Martin, manager of Bronte butcher Lucas Meats, has experienced both the highs and lows of business in a coronavirus world. “We’ve seen a massive decrease in the wholesale side of the business that supplies
restaurants and cafes, but a big rise in our retail,” Mr Martin told The Beast. “People who’ve lived around the corner for fifteen years are scared of going to Coles or Woolies and have come here for the first time; I think we’ve made a lot of friends for after the pandemic too.” As we wait to see whether life will go back to normal sooner rather than later, community action is key for preserving the connected, laidback culture of the east that so many of its residents value. Randwick Mayor Danny Said pointed to community response as a high value commodity as we move into the next stage of the pandemic. “There are no doubt difficult times ahead for many in our community, however what we have seen over the past couple of months is Randwick’s remarkable sense of commu-
nity come to the fore. That is what will take us forward and help us through this period. The more we work together and care for each other, the betterplaced we will be to respond,” he told The Beast. Residents of the Eastern Suburbs can be proud of what they have done to stop the spread of coronavirus in their suburbs. Ultimately, the story of COVID-19 in our area is one of hope. We are not in the clear yet and are probably facing a winter of social distancing but, with beaches starting to reopen, residents are beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. We also know now that social distancing works and that council and community are here to help in times of crisis. The Eastern Beaches may not be free from coronavirus yet, but we seem to have found our modus operandi for the fight ahead.
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June 2020 The Beast 25
An Eastern Suburbs Snapshot Suburb snapshot Postcode
Bondi Junction, Queens Park
Coogee, South Coogee
Number of App downloads
WHERE COVID-19 Flew in FROM (Australia)
Rest of world Europe Americas At Sea
Sources of Infection
Number o Fatalitie
(Waverley, Randwick and Woollahra)
TOTAL CASES LOCALLY ACQUIRED 142 Known sources Unknown sources 55
150 INTERSTATE 14
Small business relief packages Waverley: $1 million per month Randwick: $2.3 million Woollahra: $5 million Total for Waverley, Randwick and Woollahra: $12.3 million (assuming Waverley rolls their monthly package for 5 months)
Sources: South Eastern Sydney Local Health District, Australian Government Department of Health.
Number of arri
The Beast magazineâ€™s attempt at summing up all of the local statistics from this extremely weird moment in history. Please note, all data has been sourced from Australian government websites (except the Netflix Bingeing and Dunny Roll sections). All of the information on this infographic is current as at May 11, 2020.
New daily cases
of LOCAL es
Number of cases by age bracket
WORDWIDE 4.12 m
andwick and Woollahra)
hed show: Tiger King
20-29 40-49 60-69 80-89 30-39 50-59 70-79 90+
NSW 3,053 (46 fatalities)
THE EAST 361
Percentage of cases by gender (NSW)
49.5 % (Male)
ivals tested at SYDNEY AIRPORT since January
Highest price for a
$4 Randwick Petroleum
Data Visualisation: RussellTate.com
On the tools.
Local Artist... Catherine Tate From Clovelly Interview James Hutton Photo Guy Bailey Introducing Catherine Tate, Clovelly’s talented ceramic artist and teacher... How long have you lived here? I moved from Bondi 20 years ago when my eldest was about to start Clovelly Public. I was looking for more of a community as Bondi was quite busy. Why do you live here? One day I was at Bronte with the children and the ocean was rough, so I asked a lifeguard where the boys could swim. He said, “Try Clovelly, it’s a lot calmer, like a big swimming pool.” What’s your favourite beach? I grew up in England so I'm not the best swimmer. I love Bronte Pool, Wylie’s Baths and Clovelly at high tide in summer. What’s your favourite eatery? I have to say the Clovelly Village, as that’s where my daughter has a Saturday job. They do the best bacon and egg rolls and decaf coffee (that tastes like real coffee). 28 The Beast June 2020
Where do you like to have a drink? A large G&T at home on a Friday night is perfect, although after COVID I’m going to have a few drinks at The Cloey with friends, for sure! Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? We are so lucky with the beaches and parks. I walk a lot these days with my liver spotted Dalmatian, Ted. I also love walking through Fred Hollows Reserve (Jurassic Park), Coogee. I also should give a shout-out to the Prince of Wales Hospital, as I had cancer last year and they literally saved my life. The care I got from everyone at that hospital was bloody brilliant - doctors, nurses, volunteers... all absolute legends! How would you describe your art? I hand-build with clay to make vessels that reflect the texture of the natural landscape around the coast - rockpools, cliffs at Bronte and Clovelly, etc. Where can people see your work? Either my Instagram account, @catherinetateartist, or by visiting my website at www.catherinetate.com.au. I’ve exhibited at Saint Cloche in Paddington, Art Gallery on Darling in Balmain, Kerry Lowe Gallery in Newtown, and I’m also selling through Modern Times, Melbourne and Lakshmi, Paddington. Who are your artistic inspirations? Ruth Duckworth, an English sculptor, who worked with clay all her life and produced influential work right up until her death aged 90 - so I’d like to think my best work is still ahead of me. When I was a student at TAFE, one of my teachers was the brilliant ceramicist Simone Frazer, who happily shared her knowledge and really influenced me. I also soak up as much inspiration as possible at the V&A Design Museum in London, it’s just full of wonderful things.
When did you discover you had a gift for your craft? I always loved drawing and making things. I went to art school to study graphic design and worked as a designer for many years but felt I had to move away from the computer. About 10 years ago, I started a ceramics class at Waverley Woollahra Art School and I just loved working with clay. My teacher, Bill Burton, was such a character. Then I went to TAFE to study ceramics and now I’m addicted to it. Clay is tactile; it allows you the freedom to build, manipulate, squeeze, stretch and squash something into original forms with your hands. We are moving to Malabar soon where I will be able to have my own studio space with a kiln - a dream come true. Where did you study? I studied graphics at Kingston Upon Thames in England, and also at TAFE in Sydney. Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? Be influenced by other artists past and present, but always be sure to find your own style - definitely don’t copy. What do you do for work? I’m lucky enough to teach ceramics and exhibit my work. What’s your favourite thing about work? Working with creative souls; my students are such lovely people. Do you have a favourite quote? “...It is what it is.” I think the mafia use it to describe someone who is about to get whacked, but it does sum up a lot of my everyday situations! Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Enjoy the journey, not the end destination. I always try to encourage the students in my class to enjoy the time they spend on the creative process making things and not worry too much about producing a perfect item at the end.
KEEP IT LOCAL Stand by small businesses
Supporting local businesses has never been easier with the new Keep It Local directory. Whatever you need, from coffees or cake to printing and plants, our local list has it covered. So get online and support Waverley businesses where you can!
Find out more and register your business at keepitlocal.bondichamber.com.au
June 2020 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Photo Alex Barko Monday
1 0346 1018 1641 2244
1.66 0.42 1.61 0.60
2 0449 1107 1733 2348
1.65 0.40 1.74 0.50
8 0421 1020 1548 2221
0.34 1.40 0.61 1.93
9 0511 1111 1635 2307
0.40 1.35 0.68 1.83
15 0327 0956 1624 2230
1.41 0.61 1.46 0.79
16 0423 1038 1709 2328
1.39 0.60 1.54 0.73
22 0305 0859 1432 2105
0.42 1.37 0.57 1.91
23 0348 0945 1516 2149
0.39 1.37 0.58 1.92
29 0216 1.61 0851 0.44 1517 1.55 2120 0.65
30 0324 0944 1615 2234
1.53 0.45 1.65 0.59
3 0547 1.64 1155 0.39 1823 1.86
4 0048 0645 1242 1912
10 0601 0.47 1201 1.31 1723 0.74 2352 1.73
7 0330 0928 1501 2135
0.31 1.45 0.55 2.00
1.53 0.61 1.33 0.85
14 0228 0911 1534 2125
1.46 0.62 1.38 0.84
20 0143 0731 1311 1945
0.51 1.38 0.57 1.84
21 0224 0815 1350 2024
0.46 1.38 0.57 1.88
27 0016 0705 1317 1856
1.77 0.42 1.41 0.67
28 0114 0758 1417 2005
1.69 0.43 1.47 0.68
5 0145 0740 1329 2000
0.34 1.56 0.44 2.01
6 0238 0834 1415 2048
0.30 1.51 0.49 2.03
11 0650 0.54 1253 1.29 1815 0.79
12 0040 0738 1346 1912
1.62 0.58 1.30 0.84
13 0130 0825 1441 2016
17 0515 1.38 1117 0.59 1750 1.62
18 0018 0603 1156 1829
0.65 1.37 0.58 1.70
19 0102 0648 1233 1907
0.58 1.37 0.57 1.77
24 0434 1034 1604 2235
25 0522 1125 1657 2324
0.39 1.37 0.62 1.85
0.39 1.37 0.60 1.89
0.41 1.61 0.40 1.95
26 0613 0.40 1219 1.38 1753 0.65
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June 2020 The Beast 31
want to do is pour a glass of something alcoholic and switch on Netflix. But now - for better or worse depending on your neighbours - you can actually get to know these people. Start now. If you see them in their yard, say hello over the fence. Ask them how they’re doing. If you haven’t seen them in a while, put a note through their door and ask if they’re ok. If you’re going to the shops, offer to pick up some bits for them. This connectivity is how communities have always thrived and survived. We’ve been losing it over the last few decades, so take this time to forge new bonds and make some friends. Ag-a-doo-doo-doo...
The Unreliable Guide To... Bridging the Social Distance Words Nat Shepherd Photo Elle Beau If you look up synonyms of the word ‘distance’ you get some rather bleak results: coldness, aloofness, detachment, reserve, remoteness, void. No wonder going to Woolies is about as much fun as being invited to a party full of ex-lovers you treated badly. Obeying that 1.5 metre distancing law seems to have encouraged people to behave like Londoners on a tube train: no eye contact, no conversation and don’t you even think about smiling. If we all have to don masks, as is currently the law in Italy and New York, then it’s only going to get worse. But never fear! The Unreliable Guide has some tips and tricks to help you bridge that social distance without breaking any rules. Smiling is contagious in a good way Forget the idea that social distancing means you have 32 The Beast June 2020
to pretend other people don’t exist. If you buy into that, going to the shops will feel even more like going to war than it does already. Next time you go out, start smiling at random strangers. Pretend it’s the 1950s and wave at small children. Remember, we’re working together on this and the only way we’re going to get through it is if we emotionally support each other. Smiling costs nothing and it means a great deal, especially if you smile at someone who hasn’t had contact with another human being for a week. You might just make their day. Chat to your neighbour over the fence How well do you know your neighbours? Chances are you’ve hardly met most of them. Normally, we’re all so busy, dashing here and there, that as soon as we get home the only thing we
Go one further and hold a lockdown-friendly street party Check with your local council that they don’t disapprove of this (some are all for it, others not so much) but once you’ve got the green light all you need is a driveway, food and drink and some willing neighbours. Decide on a day of the week, let everyone know the time, pull out the camping table or a picnic rug and sit in your driveway, enjoying some food or a glass of wine. People can walk by and say hello, from a distance. You can call across the street and ask people what they’re eating. The kids can wave at each other, from a distance, and do chalk drawings. Everyone is outside, no one is staring at a screen and wondering when the hell this is all going to be over. Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests we forget the term ‘social distancing’ and call it ‘social solidarity’. When we’re keeping those 1.5 meters apart we are sacrificing our individual desires for the benefit of the group. We are united in our separation and The Unreliable Guide thinks that is a beautiful thing.
Mayor’s Message Our beaches I would like to congratulate the Waverley community for embracing our strict ‘Swim & Go’ and ‘Surf & Go’ measures at our beaches. Our Council is delighted to be able to provide access to the water at our beaches between the hours of 7am and 5pm seven days a week for the sole purpose of swimming and surfing/surfcraft for exercising. We need the community to observe our strict measures and social distancing for this access to continue. So far that has been the case, so thank you to everyone who has done the right thing. Access to the water is via designated entry and exit points managed by Council staff. These corridors have been working very well and the community are observing instructions from Council lifeguards, rangers, ambassadors and contractors who are working hard to keep the community safe. Details: @whatsonwaverley on Facebook.
Our community volunteers I would also like to thank our community volunteers who have stepped up to help the most vulnerable in our community. Their selfless giving is an example to us all and highlights just how caring our Waverley community is. If you know of anyone doing great work in our community during these difficult times, let us know as we want to share their stories through our community heroes’ campaign. Email communications@ waverley.nsw.gov.au
‘Swim & Go’ at Bondi Beach.
Safe Climate Declaration
Keep it local
Waverley Council recently signed the Safe Climate Declaration to actively reduce its greenhouse gas emissions and further prepare for the impacts of climate change. It comes after the Council this year achieved its target to reduce its own corporate greenhouse gas emissions by 30% based on 2003/04 levels. The declaration sets out some key actions for the Council to deliver including cutting greenhouse gas emissions rapidly to zero and ceasing all fossil fuel expansion immediately. In December 2019, our Council unanimously declared a State of Climate and Biodiversity Emergency which states that with urgent collaborative action, it is still possible to help prevent the most serious environmental, social and economic impacts. Through the Safe Climate Declaration, our Council is sending an even stronger message to the community about how serious we are about tackling climate change for future generations. Details: climateemergencysummit. org/declaration
As part of Waverley Council’s $1 million per month business relief package aimed at supporting small businesses through the COVID-19 pandemic, the Council has partnered with the Bondi and Districts Chamber of Commerce to launch a Keep It Local initiative, aimed at rallying the community behind our beloved small businesses. Through the initiative, the Chamber of Commerce will host a dedicated online directory for Waverley businesses to list information about what services they’re offering and how the community can best support them. The directory will be free for businesses to register their information and make updates moving forward. Small businesses are the heart and soul of Waverley and it’s this community who have been hit particularly hard by the effects of COVID-19. Details: waverley.nsw.gov.au Paula Masselos, Mayor of Waverley
Ph: 9083 8000 | waverley.nsw.gov.au | Stay in touch: waverley.nsw.gov.au/subscribe Updates for Coronavirus COVID-19: waverley.nsw.gov.au/coronavirus
Tell him he’s dreamin’.
Bondi Beach to Host Jousting Tournament During Professional Sports Hiatus Satire Kieran Blake, firstname.lastname@example.org Photo Lance Alot The famous sands of Bondi Beach will tremble with the thunder of horses’ hooves as jousting replaces professional sports during the COVID-19 restrictions. The medieval sport will make its long-awaited comeback due to its inherent ability to comply with strict social distancing regulations. Jousting earned permission from relevant authorities because any competitor attempting to pass within 1.5 metres of an opponent will be smashed to pieces with a long and sturdy jousting stick. Health experts were also satisfied that participants would not pass on the debilitating respiratory disease because it’s impossible to sneeze or breathe on anyone 34 The Beast June 2020
from within heavy jousting armour. “Plus, there’s no way you can touch your face when you’re wearing a jouster’s faceguard,” stated a spokesperson. The continuation of horse racing during sports lockdown also worked in favour of event organisers. “This persuaded us to offer another horse-based activity to the sports-mad Aussie public. We also assured the government that gambling would be a central component of every jousting event, which means that the recently unemployed can lose what little money they have left.” Observers questioned how event promoters were able
to initiate and fund such an obscure sport during times of massive financial uncertainty. “A nice lady called Bridget gave us a handy sum of money. She just told us to call jousting a grassroots community sport, and to backdate some paperwork.” Sceptics of the plan also wondered how the organisers would source the specialised equipment used in the sport. “We persuaded Gai Waterhouse and some other generous trainers from Randwick Racecourse to supply us with some of the more robust beasts in their stables,” stated the spokesperson. “Plus, haven’t you seen The Castle? You can get jousting sticks in The Trading Post.” There were also concerns that most professional footballers don’t even know how to ride a horse, let alone joust. “That makes it even better, imagine the highlights reel.” Matches will take place on Bondi Beach but will be televised, so fans can expect to see bouts between players from the Roosters, Rabbitohs and Bondi United, the Waratahs, Easts and the Galloping Greens, and stars from the Swans and Sydney FC. Bondi Beach was the obvious venue for such a unique event, due to its natural beauty, but also because Bondi and surrounding suburbs were the epicentre of the virus in Sydney, due largely to the number of sunbathers and swimmers who refused to stay at home. Another equine pursuit will also entertain Eastern Suburbs residents during winter, with fox hunting to take place in Centennial Park. The noble, courageous and contact-free sport is open to anyone with a horse, a dog and a gun. If you don’t own a gun, just ask Bridget.
The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city
Randwick News Health authorities are agreed that we should aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity every day. We’re very fortunate that in Randwick City we have a number of parks, reserves and open spaces as well as some of the best beaches in the world right on our doorstep that provide a beautiful backdrop for people as they get their daily exercise. We recently made our beaches accessible for exercise only and it has been a real joy to see that the majority of people are following social distancing protocols while they’re maintaining their health and fitness. They’re following the Get Fit and Go approach, which we love to see. We have placed signs at our beaches, reminding people of the need to maintain 1.5m between each other, that groups should be no more than two people and to leave the area once they’ve finished exercising. We have Lifeguards, Rangers and other staff stationed at our beaches also reminding people of these guidelines and the need to move on once they’ve finished swimming, soft sand running or surfing.
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This seems to be working and most visitors understand that now is not the time to hang out in groups at the beach or sit on the boulevard while enjoying a coffee. The message is getting through and I want to thank everyone who has played their part.
Any day, any time randwick.nsw.gov.au/library
This considerate and community-minded behaviour is what allows us to keep beaches available for exercise, so we can keep ourselves feeling physically and mentally well.
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Councillor Danny Said Mayor of Randwick
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Hero or villain?
Service Resumes Words Alasdair McClintock Photo Dee Termined What a ride that was. By the time you read this, we should hopefully have some live sport on our screens again, perhaps in our local parks too. Fingers crossed it does happen. I am sick to death of hearing the phrase, but “in these uncertain times” it’s hard to make a call on anything more than a few days out. We’ve learned a lot in this period of pause; Novak Djokovic is an anti-vaxxer, Nathan Cleary is a terrible dancer and if you ever need anything done in this country, get Peter V’landys to do it. I still don’t know if V’landys is a hero or a villain. Perhaps he doesn’t even know himself. It is the mark of most great leaders that they wrestle with this conundrum, is it not? What he undoubtedly is, is a ruthless negotiator, a shrewd business man, and the perfect blueprint for a real-life Simpsons character. With no actual sport to distract us, it was grim watching 36 The Beast June 2020
the machinations at play. Money doesn’t just talk in the world of sport in 2020, it screams loud, hateful profanities at any who dare question it. It is clear players have become little more than products in the eyes of the head honchos and, even more disturbingly (because I expect it from the honchos), a lot of fans too. Anyone calling athletes “sooks” and the like, for not being one hundred per cent keen to sign their lives away, and be quarantined from their families for an unresolved time period and figure of payment, is the worst type of idiot. In fact, adults who even use the term “sook” to describe another person are degenerate bullies and no doubt A Grade whingers themselves when things don’t go their way. In a wild moment of desperate idealistic madness, I had hoped COVID-19 might spark a bright new age of commu-
nity in the world of sport. It didn’t. Endless “we’re all in this together” advertisements, featuring celebrities who practise social distancing from the rest of us even in the best of times, couldn’t stop Nick Politis from trying to rort the system or Kane Cornes from being Kane Cornes. But there is a fine community hiding in plain sight. The local sporting community. It will probably be a while before we can attend any big games, so the next few months shape up as the ideal time to “stay in your village” and discover your local team. Head down to your nearest oval and cheer on some people you might actually know. Admission is usually free, the beers are cheap, and if the scent of the sausage sizzle doesn’t float you through the gates by your nose, like a Warner Brothers cartoon character, I happen to know Waverley Oval do a particularly wonderful chicken sandwich.
# D O Y O U E V E N Y O G A
N E W
C L A S S E S
Y O G A O N D E M A N D A D D E D
W E E K L Y
Resist the temptation to raid.
Superannuation - Balancing Our Now With Our Future Words Dr Marjorie O'Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Pat Cash Everyone in our community has been impacted by COVID-19 either physically, emotionally, financially, socially or in every way possible. Most tragically, some of our loved ones have passed during this time and, even if their deaths were not a result of the pandemic, how they and those close to them experienced the event was greatly influenced by the virus. I can only imagine the pain experienced by those forced to be distant when they needed to be together. My father died at home surrounded by a large family just twelve months ago and the pain for us is still so fresh. We had planned an event to honour him twelve months on, which of course could not proceed. In the context of today, we were fortunate. Although none of us knows how long COVID-19 will continue to define our activities, we do need to ‘go up for air’, 38 The Beast June 2020
take a breath from time to time and contemplate the future. In particular, we need to consider the long-term implications of decisions we make today and how we can ensure that our entire lives are not detrimentally impacted by what will hopefully just end up being the ‘virus of 2020’. I am sure we all think about these short-term choices and long-term implications in relation to our health, education and economic well-being. Perhaps nothing epitomises the dilemma between immediate and long-term interests more than superannuation. The federal government has made it possible for those financially affected by COVID-19 to access up to $10,000 in 2019-20 and up to a further $10,000 in 2020-21 from their superannuation funds. Faced with unemployment, reduced incomes, incapacity to make mortgage repayments and simply not
being able to live, such access is undoubtedly welcomed and preferred to short-term loans, but should it be? I am not a financial advisor, and I am certainly not going to give financial advice here, but it is worth noting that a withdrawal from a superannuation fund today results in a compounding loss over time. A 25 year-old, for example, who withdraws the full $20,000 could lose up to $120,000 at the point of retirement, and a 50 year-old could lose more than $50,000 (www.canstar. com.au/superannuation/risksaccess-super-early/). Given the current low interest rates, it is worth getting some good advice before withdrawing your super. As we make that little gasp for air and briefly contemplate our public policy needs into the future, it is worthwhile remembering that in the 1970s only about 30 per cent of employees had superannuation entitlements. In 1992, under the Keating Labor government, the Superannuation Guarantee Act was passed with super contributions covering over 70 per cent of employees and progressively increasing between 1992 and 2002 from 3 per cent to 9 per cent of an employee’s income. As we consider the future needs of our community, let’s contemplate some simple facts. Employer contributions to superannuation have grown from 9 per cent in 2002 to 9.5 per cent in 2020, while the qualifying age for the age pension will increase by six months every two years until it reaches 67 years of age on January 1, 2024. We should pause and consider whether our current superannuation and retirement legislation and entitlements are adequate and if whether drawing upon our superannuation at this time is indeed the best option.
If you have any issues at all that you require assistance with, please do not hesitate to contact my office on 9398 1822, email email@example.com, or come in at 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick.
Electorate Office Details: Address: 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Phone: 9398 1822 Fax: 9398 1044 Authorised by Dr Marjorie Oâ€™Neill MP, 15-53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031. Printed by Jeffries Printing, 5/71a Milperra Road, Revesby 2212 using parliamentary entitlements. July 2019.
Straight up the hooter.
A Cup of Tea, a Bex and a Good Lie Down Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Brian Molko For the first time in history, the whole world is united against a common enemy. The main mission now is to find a vaccine to this dreaded virus that has affected us all. This will require clinical trials on both animals and humans, a complex and time consuming process. I’m no scientist, so I won’t try to explain how such trials work, but there is one aspect that grabs my attention. Clinical trials require a certain number of participants to receive an inactive substance, or ‘dummy treatment’, that can serve as a baseline for comparing the effects of an active treatment. This is known as a ‘placebo’. Placebo has power and is definitely a ‘thing’. Indeed, anyone who has watched kids’ sport has witnessed its effects. Who remembers the ‘magic water’ being applied via a sponge after you’d been kicked in the shins in soccer or twisted your ankle during a netball match? The power of suggestion was real; before we knew it we were back on the field and running around as if nothing had happened. ‘Placebo effect’ is a psychological term that is quite 40 The Beast June 2020
concrete, a concept that promotes the idea of mind over matter. The very thought of having a pill that, unbeknown to the participant, is just sugar with no medicinal value can be quite a calming and therapeutic experience. In fact the positive or therapeutic effect from receiving a placebo treatment sits somewhere around the 30-40 per cent mark, some research has it as high as 60 per cent. Interestingly, even the colour of the medication can have an influence on its perceived effectiveness. Stimulants are seen to be more effective if they are red, with sedatives seen to be better if they are blue. As Morpheus said in The Matrix, “You take the blue pill (sedative)... the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill (stimulant)... you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” What does this actually mean? Well, Morpheus aside, the mere expectation that a treatment will make you better is enough to set in motion a beneficial process in the brain and body. Placebo sets an ex-
pectation in how we respond to an illness and, to some degree, the perceived effect that a treatment can have on us. However, it can go one step further. If a patient knows what the drug is for, it can act as a placebo amplifier. For example, morphine, which primarily treats pain relief, is known to be more effective if the patient knows they are on it and less effective if the patient is unaware. Closely related to the placebo effect is what is known as a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’, a prediction of something that becomes true simply as a consequence of it having been made. Thinking, “I reckon the supermarkets will run out of toilet paper,” leads one to rush down and buy a few rolls, and hence they run out. Another example might be when a rumour spreads that a major company will go down during a crisis. Then, despite its best efforts to contain the rumour, investors will dump shares like rats jumping off a sinking ship. It’s easy to see how the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy can see people transform their expectations into reality. There are many other links between expectations and behaviour, the two I’ve mentioned are just the tip of the iceberg. So, we now know the power of suggestion is very real and the placebo effect has been known for centuries. How does this apply to us in today’s climate? Well, without placebo we would never know the true effectiveness of any medication, especially a vaccine. In terms of mental health and placebo, if our beliefs and expectations can positively help our well-being then I’m all for it. For further information, please contact Jeremy via bondicounsellingservices.com.
• Heel and arch pain • Forefoot pain • Ankle injuries • Foot strengthening • All skin and nail treatments • Kid’s feet and development It's been a good one.
THUMBS UP CHEAP PETROL One of the many upsides of a global pandemic is cheaper fuel prices. If only we had somewhere to go. FREEDOM The pandemic response in Australia has been a huge success, but we’re looking forward to returning to normality as soon as it is safe to do so.
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AUTUMN I know we say this every year, but nothing beats a Sydney autumn when the sun’s out and the wind blows offshore.
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COMMONSENSE We’re lucky to live in a country where nutters are the minority. Look at America to see what happens when over 50 per cent of the population is batshit crazy.
THUMBS DOWN THIEVES The Bondi Board Share at North Bondi is an awesome local initiative set up by kind, community-minded people. Stealing from it is a low act, we hope a little bit of karma comes your way. PLASTIC WASTE The increased use of plastic takeaway food containers during lockdown has been an unfortunate side effect of the pandemic response. LIVES LOST Despite Australia’s incredible success in controlling coronavirus, 97 people had passed away as a result of COVID-19 as this edition of The Beast went to print. UNCO DELIVERY PEOPLE It’s a bloody miracle that more cyclists haven’t been skittled over the last couple of months.
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Pork and Sage Schnitzel with Apple and Brussels Sprout Slaw Words and Picture Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine The much loved ‘schnitty’ is a regular on pub menus and so simple to prepare. They’re also a reliable go-to for home cooks looking for a quick, easy meal. Opting for pork as the protein, I’ve coated it in a panko crumb for a crunchy, golden finish, as well as adding fresh sage, pork’s best friend. If you feel guilty indulging in a comforting piece of schnitzel, adding this crunchy, healthy slaw will balance it all out. The textured, green goodness consists of thinly sliced cabbage, raw Brussels sprouts, sweet green apple, onion for sharpness and parsley to cleanse. I’ve also swapped out mayonnaise for a light, tangy vinaigrette, or you can stick with tradition and go with silky mashed potato. Either way, this elevated schnitzel and slaw with give you all the comfort you need this winter. 42 The Beast June 2020
Ingredients 4 pork loin steaks, thinned out with a meat mallet and seasoned with salt and pepper 100gm panko breadcrumbs Vegetable oil for frying 1 egg, beaten 100gm plain flour 10gm fresh sage, roughly chopped Lemon wedges for serving Slaw... 100gm cabbage, finely sliced 250gm Brussels sprouts, finely sliced 1 green apple, cored and cut into matchsticks ¼ red onion, peeled and very finely sliced Big handful of parsley, chopped Generous squeeze of lemon Dressing... 2 tbsp olive oil 1 tsp dijon mustard 2 tsp white wine vinegar 1 tsp maple syrup
Method 1. Put the flour, breadcrumbs and beaten egg in 3 separate wide bowls. Add the chopped sage to the breadcrumbs and stir to combine; 2. Dip the pork loin steaks in the flour and shake off the excess, then dip them in the egg, followed by the breadcrumbs/ sage. Press down a little with your fingers if necessary to ensure the sage sticks to the pork. Set aside while you prepare the slaw; 3. Place all the chopped salad ingredients in a bowl and mix to combine. In a small jar or mixing bowl, combine all the dressing ingredients and give it a good shake or stir. Set aside until the pork is cooked before you dress the slaw; 4. Heat a fry pan to medium heat, then add the vegetable oil for frying. Fry the pieces of pork for approximately 5 minutes on each side or until cooked through. If the breadcrumbs are browning too quickly, turn down the heat to ensure the outside doesn’t burn before the pork is cooked through on the inside. Remove the schnitties from the pan and drain on paper towel; 5. Pour the dressing onto the slaw and a generous squeeze of lemon and combine well; 6. Serve the pork hot with the slaw on the side. Season well and serve with wedges of lemon. Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to here in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.
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For me, Fiona Apple is a memory fragment from a childhood with older sisters. I realise now I should have paid more attention. Was she always this good? This is lyrically and musically astonishing. At the start of The Big Lebowski, The Stranger can be heard to say, “Sometimes there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place.” He could have been talking about Fiona Apple right now (ignoring the fact she’s a woman). This feels so raw and timely that it wouldn’t surprise me if it was written, recorded and released last week.
The Smith Street Band
DON’T WASTE YOUR ANGER Label Pool House Records Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating This band was almost lost to us forever, due to immaturity, vindictiveness, social media and some pretty dumb emails being “leaked”. Don’t look it up, just be happy they’re back and Wil Wagner has a heap more material with which to write songs. There is a tiredness and restraint here, which is a shame, but there is also hope that they’ll discover their best again. Smith Street has always been about the slightly dark, but uplifting lyrics and “Nothing gets better, so enjoy what you have,” pretty much sums up where they are now.
The Goods II
Label etcetc Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating
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Slip on your dancing shoes, goldfish optional (but not preferred, it’s kind of cruel). Local legends, The Goods, dropped II just in time to not be able to tour. Life is cruel. Not for us though, because we get to listen. I’ve been playing a lot of classic hits radio recently, because I’m getting old, and in a strange way this reminds me of it. While harbouring an undeniably modern sound, there is also a very funky and old school vibe throughout. And when I say old school, I mean waaaaaaayy back, like the ‘50s and ‘60s. Get into it.
The Beast Supercross 1
ACROSS 1. Scooter (5) 4. Hot yoga (6) 7. Windpipe (7) 8. Commodity brought in from abroad (6) 10. Animals that eat both flora and fauna (9) 12. The act of believing these answers are harder than they actually are (12) 14. The cost of money (8) 18. Outer layer of tooth (6) 19. Forbidden fruit (5) 20. ... Night Fever (8) DOWN 1. High density area (12) 2. Ordinary (5)
3. Homer Simpson’s famous catchphrase (1’2) 4. The ... Witch Project (5) 5. Memento (8) 6. Popular Wilson Pickett karaoke song because it isn’t vocally demanding (7,5) 9. Not you (2) 11. People that have made vows in dedication to religious service (8) 13. Put something into something else (6) 15. Record; adhesive (4) 16. An “eshays” Nike shoe of choice (1,1) 17. In the middle of (4)
Trivial Trivia Words Cameron Anderson Photo Chelsea Kolb Instagram @chelseakolb 1. Which two basketballers have been flag bearers for Australia during the opening or closing ceremonies of the Olympics? 2. Name the only Aussie band to have number 1 hits in the US between 1990 and 2010? 3. Which three countries have made every quarter finals of the Rugby World Cup?
4. What is the next perfect number after 6? 5. Which two countries are less densely populated than Australia? 6. Which two foreign films have won Best Picture at the Oscars? 7. What is Harry Potter’s name in Russia?
8. What is the second most popular language in terms of its number of appearances in countries’ official languages? 9. After Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer, which character appears in the most Seinfeld episodes? 10. What does Doppelganger literally mean in German?
Anzac Day dawn 2020. June 2020 The Beast 49
Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 When you’re trying to gain ground with people you want to befriend, it’s okay to completely neglect your existing friends.
Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 Fart loudly and proudly, so your mates at least have the option of covering their noses or jumping out of the nearest window.
Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 Rather than explaining the merits of your plan, hijack legitimate social causes to advance your own self-interest.
Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 You pretend to hate your job, but you’ve really missed your work colleagues during lockdown. They haven’t missed you.
Visions Beardy from Hell
Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 No, you’re not drinking more than usual; you’re just spending more on booze because you don’t have your mates at the pub to scab off.
Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 Spending in excess of $200 on a first date isn’t really all that different to visiting a brothel, when you give it some thought.
Gemini May 22-Jun 21 As Australia comes out of lockdown, you’ll look back on all the spare time you wasted and regret it for the rest of your life.
Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 Whenever you dabble in a different genre, you’re really just running from the music your parents listened to when you were little.
Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 You need to eliminate a few burdens from your life in order to make time for the things you love. Start with your partner.
Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Spending money you don’t have to buy things you don’t need, and expecting someone else to pay for it, means you’re a hooker.
Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 Stop being so awkward and just go straight in for the tonguey every time you get introduced to someone.
Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Watching porn is perfectly normal, but moderation is the key. Your consumption lately can only be described as excessive.
Trivial Trivia Solutions
1. Andrew Gaze and Lauren Jackson 2. Savage Garden 3. Australia, New Zealand and France 4. 28 5. Mongolia and Namibia 6. Parasite, The Artist 7. Garri (or Gary) 8. French 9. The cashier, Ruthie Cohen 10. Double Walker 1
50 The Beast June 2020
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The June 2020 edition of The Beast, featuring spectacular cover art by Russell Tate.