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February 2017

The Best of Both Worlds


WELCOME TO FEBRUARY 2017... BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS Words Dan Hutton Picture Jeremy Greive


elcome to the February 2017 edition of The Beast – the monthly magazine for Sydney’s Beaches of the East. We’ve now all (hopefully) gotten over our post-Christmas malaise, and are getting back into the swing of the working year. This February, Sydney certainly isn’t giving us any excuses to hunker down at home, as the month is chock-a-block full of exciting cultural and sporting events. Perhaps the most patently exuberant event series to kick off this month is Mardi Gras. Gone are the years of Mardi Gras being a stand-alone celebratory night: now Mardi Gras Festival is comprised of seminars and talk series, community fair days, dance collaborations, pool parties and more. There ain’t nothing wrong with celebrating diversity! The Sydney Sevens returns to our fair shores from February 3 to

6 The Beast | February 2017

5, so expect a fast-paced, anxietyfilled, fancy dress rugby extravaganza. In soccer circles, Sydney FC has been kicking serious goals this season (undefeated at the time of print), so even if you’re only mildly interested in football, we’d highly recommend checking out a match this month. And if you’re into ocean swimming, the North Bondi Classic and the Bondi Blue Water Challenge are definite highlights.

Perhaps the pièce de résistance of sporting events in the east this month will be the General Pants Bowl-A-Rama. Returning to the

Bondi Bowl bigger and better than ever on February 18 and 19, BowlA-Rama is an awesome skating event that brings together some of the best skaters in the world, including our cover star, Corbin Harris. Harris not only skates like a demon, he’s also a designer, entrepreneur and television personality. He’ll be hosting Bowl-A-Rama this year, which is just another reason to lock down your ticket. In the mag this month we’ve got a piece on the contentious postChristmas alcohol ban at Coogee Beach, a look at the young Bondi girls who are dominating the international skateboarding scene, details of the Clovelly Hotel’s likely future, and a whole lot more. As always, we wish you a happy, productive and fun February, and hope that the New Year is treating you well thus far. Dan and James Publishers



06 Welcome Note

50 Rupert’s Rant

66 Sexy Time

08 Pearls of Wisdom

52 Local Bloke

70 Local Photos

07 Contents

12 Monthly Mailbag 22 Thumbs & Dogs 24 Local News 25 Beastpop I 42 Calendar

43 Trade Directory 44 Interview

51 Beastpop II

54 Local Chick

56 Fish ‘n’ Tips 57 Tide Chart

58 What's New?

60 Unreliable Guide 62 Enviro News 64 Travel Bug

68 This Sporting Life 72 Bandage 74 Reviews

75 Arts Bits

76 Food & Wine

80 Trivial Trivia

82 Beardy From Hell 82 Trivia Solutions

The #MySydney by WHTVR photo competition winner: 'Ready for anything' by Kat Parker - @katrinaparker.

Taxpayer's money.



fter a boozy New Year’s Eve in Camden listening to 2WS’s Juke Box Saturday Night with my friend Tonnie, Pearl awoke to the sound of a howling greyhound and a squawking Sulphur-Crested Cockatoo, and a disturbing frontpage story on the Sydney Morning Herald iPad app. While it’s hard to imagine such natural ‘alarm clocks’ in Clovelly, the SMH headline, ‘Honeymooners forced to splurge $1,600 after Sydney NYE fireworks dream goes wrong’, was pure Eastern Suburbs. Maybe the Valium I’d quaffed to stem the hangover was to blame, but it was as if I had been teleported back home rather than having to endure the M5 traffic around Campbelltown. Although the headline (which managed to bump the Istanbul nightclub shooting from the SMH app for a couple of hours) is selfexplanatory, Pearl feels she must elaborate with ‘Pearlique’ effect. The honeymooners were a Welsh couple, and they were extremely unhappy to be slumming it with the masses in the Botanical Gardens on NYE. In desperation

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to “get their dream back on track” (they had “been painstakingly planning their holiday ever since” August) they were ‘forced’ to part with $1,600 to view the fireworks in degustation comfort. “Imagine if we hadn’t,” they said. Yes, just imagine. They might have been ‘forced’ to spend the evening on a verandah in Sydney’s southwest, busting drunken dance moves to Frankie Valli’s ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’, just as Pearl was on December 31. OMG! Sobered up and riding shotgun home to Clovelly via the car park known as the M5 tunnel, I posed the question: when did the affluent middle class become so pathetic? When did honeymoons become expensive, stage-managed events justifying headline attention when they fail to live up to the dream? As I get older and wiser, I am finding it increasingly difficult to tolerate the middle class woes and issues that occupy media print space and now take pride of place in my own column as I maintain the rage against this lack of resilience.

We are now living in an altered reality, controlled by marketers and big business - a reality where 90 per cent of those who earn more than $100,000 do not believe they are wealthy and resort to adopting trendy afflictions such as veganism, mindfulness, gratitude, paddle board yoga, cosmetic injections, immunisation dissention, and kaftan and cowboy hat wearing to feel complete. We ‘emotionally invest’ not in a hobby or relationship, but in the celebrity-aspiring competitors on The Bachelor series, and we feel ‘cheated’ when our favourite Barbie doll doesn’t win, rather than feeling cheated when our government balances the budget on the back of the poor. Call me an angry old woman if you must, but I see myself as a guru of enlightenment educating the masses to harden up and stop acting like spoilt brats. And if the success of a honeymoon is predicated by the view of Sydney’s fireworks on New Year’s Eve, I can also see myself as an accurate oracle when it comes to the success of the headline couple’s married life.









THE BEAST'S MONTHLY MAILBAG Words The People of the Eastern Suburbs Illustrations Dalton Wills CELEBRATE THE ‘BERGS I picked up your magazine at the Icebergs Chicken Swim on Sunday. Good to see you still getting the Eastern Suburbs news and gossip out there. It would be remiss of me, having left Bondi for cancer-related illness treatment over a year ago, if I didn't say how great it is to have a drink at the ‘Bergs. There are many clubs we can join in our travels, but the Icebergs Winter Swimming Club has a tradition that remains instilled in members by Lofty Petrie and the new team, with the likes of Dave Hall maintaining the rage. We lose a few boys each year and we remember them usually with a laugh and sadness as they are family. So if you’re reading this letter, give some thought to joining the Icebergs and swimming through winter. After all, as Lofty reminds us often, "If you're an Iceberg you can get in any gin joint in the world!" See you there next time I'm in town, as I am an old Lamrock Avenue boy. Alan Hampson No address provided LEAVE YOUR BUTTS IN THE BIN ► Hey smokers - Take your cigarette butts with you. Don't stub them out under your foot and think they're mashed into non-existence. Don't thumb them into cracks in 12 The Beast | February 2017

the concrete or the rocks at Clovelly, or anywhere else. Don't leave them in the sand thinking they'll biodegrade, or not thinking at all. Stub them out and put them back where they came from – in your cigarette packet. If you think that's too dirty for you, or too dirty for your unsmoked cigarettes in the packet or your clean pockets, you're probably right. Dimitri Cachia Clovelly FROM THE JUDEAN PEOPLE’S FRONT What an odd piece in last month’s Beast (Cemetery Heritage Leaves Locals Divided, The Beast, December 2016). There is no

question that RWC (Residents for Waverley Cemetery) and SWC (Save Waverley Cemetery) stand for different outcomes. SWC, under the leadership of a previous Council employee, Ms. B. Kelly, agitated for commercial development of the cemetery – pavilions, stone fences, etc. As reported in your article, how ludicrous her proposals turned out to be after the recent storms. RWC, on the other hand, have been lobbying for over 10 years for this extraordinarily iconic site to be protected and restored. The group prepared and submitted the recently approved Heritage Listing application to Council, which was very supportive and submitted it to government. What the listing means is that dangerous proposals like Ms. Kelly’s can never be implemented. However, the implication in the article last month that RWC want nothing done to the cemetery is ludicrous. Many have fought tirelessly for over 10 years to protect and restore the cemetery and we have actually achieved something since Ms. Kelly’s departure - a fence in keeping with the environment, resurfacing of roads, the restoration of the Heritage gates, access to the site with locks removed from gates, and a range of other not so obvious improvements. New staff appointments have certainly helped.

But the task continues. Remediation of the gully is obviously urgent, as is the restoration of many of the graves. My personal passion is the WWI monuments (some very simple). Those of the Gallipoli heroes, some as young as 16 when they were slaughtered, are disintegrating. Their families, who are responsible for the upkeep of the monuments under the rules, are long gone. Council is aware of the problem and hopefully will act soon. In the meantime Beast, we are in furious agreement. As your article says, “the Cemetery needs money to survive”, and RWC will continue to fight for this outcome with hard work and commitment. Marie Persson, Residents for Waverley Cemetery Bronte COOGEE OVAL EYESORE No, seriously, who put that totally offensive black six-foot metal fence along the north side of the once picturesque Coogee Oval, totally wrecking the ambience? And for what? Please tell me why? John Harrison Coogee

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NO TO THE UNDERGROUND CARPARK ▼ The Editor - The GTA Consultants’ report to Council unequivocally states that “it is essential that Queen Elizabeth Drive (QED) be kept open for service and emergency vehicle access” (p.37). Additionally, the report envisages a taxi rank and a 40km/h speed limit on QED (p.38). Nonetheless, Mark Hersey misleadingly suggests to your readers that converting the aboveground car space (i.e. QED) to recreation use will result in a “massive increase in green recreation space” (Underground Car Park Not Such a Bad Idea, Letters, The Beast, January 2017). He is dreaming; QED will remain a road with traffic. Mr. Hersey then insinuates that the car park exit would be only about 50 metres from the beach (actually more like 120 metres); he ignores the distance to the preferred areas of beach use. The north and south ends of the beach would each be about 560 metres away, a return walk of over a kilometre. I had thought that QED existed for the benefit of those using Bondi Beach and the park.

As the proposed underground parking would be convenient to Woolworths and other retailers in the developed Pacific site, I became suspicious that it is intended for their customers. Mr. Hersey, for reasons known only to himself, applauds the convenience to shoppers of its proposed proximity to the shops. I wish to be free to drive along QED to check out the surf, to park proximate to my preferred area of beach use according to the conditions, and to change into and out of a wetsuit in the sunshine whilst leaving my belongings safely in my car. I do not wish to walk barefooted in a wetsuit a considerable distance, especially on a chilly morning, from the bowels of an underground car park to the surf, let alone to make the return trip whilst wet and cold before changing into warm clothing. I do not wish to drive into an underground car park and walk from there to the beach only to find the conditions don’t suit me - even more so knowing that, one way or another, I am paying for the experience.



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I do not wish to see the thousands who regularly use the park and the beach, particularly early in the mornings and on weekdays, have their pleasure reduced by an inconvenient and expensive parking regime that precludes them from parking proximate to their area of preferred park/beach activities. I note that there were 457,583 recorded visits by cars with beach parking permits during 2012. Greg Maidment Bronte PROLONGED CAR PARK TROUBLES It might surprise Mark Hersey (Underground Car Park Not Such a Bad Idea, Letters, The Beast, January 2017) to discover that his beloved underground car park at Bondi Beach has little public support. If he doesn't believe me, he can read the many submissions to Waverley Council's 2014 survey, which clearly show overwhelming community opposition (upwards of 80 per cent) to the proposal. Truth be known, most Waverley residents have long since tuned out, concluding that it is too stupid an idea to ever get up. Still, here we are at the start of 2017 and there's a Facebook page with over 1,000

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'likes' on the one hand, and on the other there's Mark and his one or two fellow travellers (or should I say ‘shills for developers’?). One doesn't have to be an engineer to be able to read the GTA report produced for Waverley Council, nor to peruse Waverley Council's fact sheets. Mark ought to stick to ideas that he can actually back up, rather than fantasising about untold "acres of extra room", "tree-lined pedestrian boulevards" and an "extra outdoor gym". A bit more grass along Campbell Parade is just not worth the considerable expense and inconvenience. Waverley ratepayers do not want to be deprived of their beach passes, only to be lumbered with a user unfriendly underground car park that they never asked for in the first place. Andrew Worssam Bondi COOGEE ALCOHOL BAN A GOOD IDEA ▼ Yay! After the disgraceful and disgusting behaviour of Christmas revellers (i.e. backpackers) a total alcohol ban is most welcome at Coogee Beach. As a long-term resident, it will be nice to be able

to enjoy our sunrise swims each morning and not be welcomed by broken beer bottles and paraphernalia when walking to the water at our amazing beach. Council and the lifesavers, lifeguards and plenty of volunteers have done an amazing job and continue to help our community, but this year got way out of hand. Judi Kelly Coogee ICEBERGS PRICES TOO HIGH FOR PENSIONERS I am a disabled pensioner aged 63. On Saturday afternoon, December 3, I visited the Bondi Icebergs Club pool for the first time. I was bluntly told by the young woman at the counter that there was no concession for disability pensioners, but that seniors could get a concession. So I showed her my driver's licence. She said that only a Seniors Card was acceptable. I expressed surprise that neither a pensioner, nor a person of 63, was eligible for the discount. She said, "I'll let you have it this time, but next time you need a Seniors Card." This was very unpleasant. As

it happened I was quite shaken when I got to the pool as I'd just witnessed a collision between a car and a cyclist, and had assisted those involved and called the police. Is it true that Icebergs does not give discounts to pensioners? Seniors Cards vary - which do they recognise? Is proof of age not sufficient? If this young woman was right about the policy, may I suggest that the signs and policy need revising, as the current prices are far too high for pensioners. I often swim at Newcastle where there are very large, well-appointed ocean baths with free admission for all. Mark O'Neil Bondi THANKS FOR THE LOVE ▲ I would just like to express my sincere gratitude to the good people of Bronte for the well wishes and support following the untimely and sudden death of my best mate, Sedric the Irish Wolfhound. Sedric sadly had a massive heart attack out the front of his favourite coffee shop and passed 18 The Beast | February 2017

away suddenly on Wednesday morning, December 21 at 6.45am. I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who rushed to our aid and offered assistance in a very sad and trying time. To the blokes who helped me lift him into the car, I thank you and am sorry that I am in no way able to remember who you are. What has absolutely blown us away as a family are the flowers, cards, wine and even vodkas that have appeared at our door with offers of condolence and support; the hand shakes and cuddles have been a massive help too. He was a big loveable lad to not just our little family, but to lots of others. Love to all, Sedric’s human, Shane Bronte KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK Just some quick feedback to say thankyou! You guys make me laugh every month. The January issue's letters and matching cartoon on long reader letters got me this time. Gold! Mark Schling - hilarious! Keep it up! Reka O'Connell Randwick

WOMEN OF THE YEAR PICTURE IN BAD TASTE Dear Beast - I'm a fan of your magazine and get much useful local information from it. However, in the January edition I was shocked to see the NSW Women of the Year entry in the calendar accompanied by a woman lying on a beach in at least part of a bikini. Even as a man I find this incredibly offensive that women who have achieved a great deal more than probably you and I put together have been reduced down to what they look like semi-naked. This kind of outdated sexism isn't worthy of your magazine. We may live in a Trump-ist world where these kind of degrading attitudes can get you elected President of the United States, but I think I speak for the vast majority of your readers in stating that we will not accept them in this part of Australia. I would like to see an apology published in next month’s edition and hopefully a little more respectful and progressive thinking in future. Joe Hepworth Randwick

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WOMEN ARE NOT SEX OBJECTS Hey James and Dan - The ‘Women of the Year’ calendar item in the current issue isn't cool. Callouts for the government celebration of women crushing it in all walks of life matched with a photo of a naked woman? This is the opposite of celebrating women for all their contributions and the things they will have changed in the world, been good at, revelled in the success of. A naked beach babe one hundred per cent will not be the NSW Woman of the Year, and it's extremely sexist to use imagery like this as the thing that you feel represents women who do amazing things. Hoping you'll consider your role as media to help push perception on the right side of history. Kashi Somers No address provided Editor's Note The picture accompanying the NSW Women of the Year calendar entry

was an attempt at irony. It’s a picture of celebrity Lara Bingle, someone we’d argue is obviously unlikely to take out the title (bikini-clad or otherwise). At The Beast we absolutely support perpetuating diverse gender roles and gender equality. Our intent was certainly not to degrade women in any way. KEEP BONDI BEACH OPEN Dear Editor - KEEP SYDNEY OPEN, reads the sign in front of a prominent club in Bondi Beach. The sewage stench pervades the air not far from that on the way to the golden sandy beach. Beachgoers crowd in front of the public toilets, hoping their firmly closed doors open again - by magic! And it’s still light! Not far from there my children lost everything left on the sand to some desperate thieves while enjoying the surf on New Year’s Eve. Please first KEEP BONDI BEACH OPEN! X. Duong Canterbury

THE BEAST Publisher The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 Editors Advertising Enquiries Circulation 61,000 copies of The Beast are distributed every month. 55,500 are placed in mailboxes and 5,500 in local shopfronts. PEFC Certified The Beast is printed on paper sourced from sustainably managed forests. Letters To The Editor Please email your feedback to

Family Laughter Memories Holidays Dinners Weekends Friends


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CHARLOTTE Age 2 Years Sex Female Breed Labrador Weight 25.6kg

Well dabbed.

THUMBS UP BIG BASH BOREDOM KILLER It’s dead set impossible to be bored during summer thanks to the nightly Big Bash League broadcast. Except if you don’t have a TV. ROMANCE Valentine’s Day is on its way again. If you save all your romance for one (cliched) day of the year, you’re not romantic, you’re a cold-hearted c**t. KEEP CUPS Last year, we here at The Beast would’ve used in excess of 1,000 takeaway coffee cups. That’s a lot of waste. This year we promise we will reform. BACK TO SCHOOL Who else is counting down the days until the kids finally go back to school/daycare and you get some semblance of a life back? OCEAN POOLS Sometimes it’s just nice to get away from the waves and float about in the salty serenity of one of our many local ocean pools.


Charlotte is a bouncy Lab who loves being around people. While she is social with other dogs, she has not had much time around them. She is excited to go for walks, but does pull on lead and bark at passing cars and dogs. She needs a family willing to do some basic obedience with her. She comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Her adoption cost is $450, which includes a free health and wellness voucher for the Doggie Rescue Vet. Call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, email or visit

DUKE Age 2 Years Sex Male Breed Shepherd x Staffy Weight 23.2kg Duke is a lovable, happy, active boy. Duke came in with a useless front leg that was ulcerated from being dragged around and had to be amputated, but he can do everything as normal. He gets excited to go on walks and pulls a bit on lead. He loves to run and is very sweet with people. He comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. His adoption cost is $400, which includes a free health and wellness voucher for the Doggie Rescue Vet. Call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, email or visit

COOGEE BOOZE BAN We are a bit disappointed


LITTERBUGS There's never an excuse for littering. If the rubbish bins are full, take your garbage with you, or walk a bit further.

Age 5 Years Sex Female Breed Shepherd x Cattle Dog Weight 17.5kg

about Coogee’s blanket booze ban. It’s a pity a few dickheads can spoil things for everyone.

TICKS These blood sucking, disease causing bastards are enjoying their peak season right now, so if you plan on going bush, beware. CHRISTMAS TREE DISPOSAL We love a ‘real’ Christmas tree, but getting the spiky conifer out of your house with no mess is impossible. MOBILE PHONE ADDICTION This is a real problem, and one that we’re to some extent afflicted by. Mobiles, while awesome, are actually the devil.

22 The Beast | February 2017

Hera, named after the Goddess of Motherhood, came from the pound pregnant and had three pups. She is a very intelligent, obedient girl. She is a bit timid with strangers, but soon warms up when they are gentle with her. She is social with other dogs and is incredibly smart, loyal and affectionate. She comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Her adoption cost is $450, which includes a free health and wellness voucher for the Doggie Rescue Vet. Call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, email or visit

clovelly optical

9665 3344

213 clovelly road clovelly 2031 tue to fri 9–5pm | sat 9am–2pm

February 2017 | The Beast 23

Nice work Cynthia.

COOGEE ALCOHOL BAN RAISES LOCAL DISCONTENT Words Madeleine Gray Picture Barry Watterson


or many years, Bondi Beach symbolised the ultimate backpacker Christmas destination. The rubbish would pile up; the rowdy behaviour would escalate. Eventually, Waverley Council decided to ban the consumption of alcohol at Bondi Beach. That ban remains in place today. So where would the backpackers flock to next? Enter Coogee Beach. With slightly lower rental prices, a myriad of cheap hostels, and easy access to the CBD, Coogee has become Sydney’s latest backpacker haven. This was startlingly evident on Christmas Day 2016. Approximately 10,000 people (mostly backpackers from the UK, Ireland and other parts of Europe) made their way to Coogee Beach to boogie on down. A local DJ played 24 The Beast | February 2017

some sweet tunes, and people got happily drunk in the sun. “What’s wrong with that?” you might ask. Unfortunately, what is wrong with that is that almost all of these partygoers forgot to, or simply decided not to, pick up their litter. 15 tonnes of rubbish (including glass bottles, plastic bags, nangs, and disintegrating beer cartons) was sprawled across the sand and grass. Almost immediately after this environmental carnage occurred, Randwick Council responded by introducing a blanket ban on the consumption of alcohol at Coogee Beach for the rest of the summer. According to Randwick Mayor Noel D’Souza, the ban has been well received. “Since the total alcohol ban has been in place, I’ve had a number of

residents thanking me for giving them back their parks and their beach,” he said. However, not all locals were happy with the decision. “I think it’s one of the worst knee-jerk reactions of all time,” Courtyard Café owner Dave Martin said. “Businesses in Coogee are now suffering due to the lack of people coming to enjoy our beach. “The ban affects everyone except those who were there on Christmas Day.” Coogee resident Cynthia Colli suggested to The Beast that the alcohol ban actually “ignores the larger issue of ignorance about environmental sustainability”. After walking down “plastic blizzard ridden” Carr Street on Christmas night, Ms. Colli took it upon herself to get down to the beach and start the cleanup. She managed to collect 18 huge rubbish bags full of litter, and estimates that she picked up around 8000 glass bottles. “I don’t agree with the total alcohol ban because I think there has to be a more effective and nuanced response that does not disadvantage families and responsible drinkers,” Ms. Colli said. “When I was cleaning up, lots of people said ‘Good on you for doing someone else’s job’, and I think that attitude – that cleaning up after your own mess is not your job – is pervasive, and it needs to change. If you do litter, it is your fault.” Ms. Colli, who has recently established a grassroots sustainability initiative, cheekily called ‘F*ckgiving’ (www., suggests that different approaches to public waste should be taken, and that ‘trickle cleaning’ (whereby council workers wander through and chat with the crowd, picking up rubbish and asking for a bit of help), as opposed to late night cleaning, is a good place to start. Only time will tell, but it seems that an alcohol ban may not fix what is clearly a larger, attitudinal problem.




It was a huge mess but the council wasn’t prepared for the numbers - there weren’t enough bins or staff on. I’ve never seen any problems and now locals can’t even go down for a barbecue and a couple of beers.

There should be stricter controls on litter instead of alcohol. It can be quite a social thing to come to the beach and get a drink and the alcohol ban would stop people doing that.



Yeah, I think it’s good that the alcohol was banned. It seems more quiet and peaceful, but with the alcohol it’s always a bit violent. I was here at 9pm on New Year’s Eve and it was good. It wasn’t aggressive or crazy.

I don’t think it was an overreaction at all. It agrees with what they have done at Bronte and Bondi. It’s unfortunate that it is going to spoil it for the locals, but unfortunately that’s the way it is at the moment.


I agree with the decision to ban the alcohol for New Year’s Eve. Unfortunately it’s not the locals, it’s the visitors who are causing the problem, and it’s sad for the families who have enjoyed the night for many years.


I think it was an overreaction. The council could have been more prepared, not that it was their job to pick up the rubbish on Christmas Day. I think it should just be a timed alcohol ban like it was before. February 2017 | The Beast 25

Poppy shows the boys how it's done.

LOCAL GIRLS LOOK TO LIGHT UP BOWL-A-RAMA Words Madeleine Gray Picture Dean Tirkot


kateboarding has long been thought of as a man’s game. From all-boy avatar options on skating video games, to skater characters in movies being 99 per cent dudes, to the fact that ‘dangerous’ sports have historically been linked to aggressive masculinity, the message has been clear: skateboarding isn’t meant for girls. But not any longer. Evidencing an exciting zeitgeist shift, a new generation of female skateboarders is now killing it on the international stage. And, particularly thrillingly for us, a lot of these awesome chicks just happen to be from around the Eastern Beaches area and will be competing at the General Pants Bowl-A-Rama in Bondi on February 18 and 19. Current world number one female skater, Bondi native Poppy Starr Olsen, is one of these talented women. At only sixteen years of age, Poppy is already competing – and winning – in comps all over the world. Ms. Olsen told The Beast that her first time skateboarding occurred when a male pal let her

26 The Beast | February 2017

have a turn of riding his board. “And then I kept his skateboard,” she added. “When I started skating at Bondi I was eight, and I was the only girl,” Ms. Olsen said. “There were a lot of old school guy skaters who were really supportive and gave me advice, but it wasn’t until a few years later that a bunch of other girls started to join in. “Then local Bondi girls like Gracie Earl and Sari Simpson, who are also competing at Bowl-ARama, started coming along too. “It was really cool, us all trying to help each other learn.” Bowl-A-Rama has a comparatively high ratio of female competitors compared to other skating comps, and that’s largely due to the fact that this year it has introduced a women’s division. While the idea of ‘open’ (gender) comps is exciting from a feminist perspective, Ms. Olsen said she preferred skating against the girls. “I like having the different divisions, because the girls started skating after men, and I think it’s

good because the women support each other,” she said. “We all challenge one another, but we also just help each other out.” Fellow female Bondi skating prodigy Gracie Earl echoed this perspective. “As they’re now introducing women’s divisions in the international competitions, more opportunities are rising for girls in the industry,” she said. Also competing in the women’s division at this year’s event is American skater Amelia Brodka. Brodka is the founder of EXPOSURE, the largest girls skating comp in the world – with proceeds going towards supporting survivors of domestic violence. While the open comp at BowlA-Rama will be full of household names – think Bucky Lasek, Pedro Barros, and Tom Scharr – we think the women’s division might just be the most exciting aspect. According to Ms. Olsen, American Jordyn Barratt is one to watch, as is Queenslander Izy Mutu. Our money is on the Eastern Beaches girls, of course.





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Christmas spirit.



aving a kid sick in hospital is probably the hardest thing a parent can go through. It’s even harder when that time in hospital coincides with the holiday period – what kid wants to spend Christmas Day in a hospital gown instead of their swimmers? Local hero (and previous Beast cover star) Mal ‘Wardy’ Ward knows this only too well, as his son Johnno spent much of his life in the liver transplant unit at Westmead Children’s Hospital. Wardy started his charity, Forever Johnno, to raise money to help these sick kids, and in December 2008 – the Christmas after Johnno passed away – he launched Forever Johnno’s Christmas Presents for Sick Kids present drive. Nine years in, and we’re pleased to announce that 2016’s present drive was again a huge success. “Over 1,100 presents were donated and delivered to the children's hospitals at Randwick and Westmead,” Wardy reported. 28 The Beast | February 2017

The drop-off day in late December at the Coogee Bay Hotel was a rousing celebration of what can be achieved when we work together to help out those who are going through a tough time in our community. “Chris Cheung, owner of the Coogee Bay Hotel, donated the venue and the services of the CBH staff for the event, and even popped in himself with some presents for the kids,” Wardy said. “Katie and Georgie manned the barbecue to feed everyone, and Ashley Hayes, the events manager from Sydney Aquarium, also donated over 250 presents from the Merlin (owner’s of the aquarium) team. Ashley’s husband, Lucas, also shot an amazing short video of the day, which can be viewed on the Forever Johnno Facebook page.” Many other locals gave their time to help out, with Kirsty Essen donating her prodigious face painting abilities to the cause. This Christmas, Forever Johnno joined forces with Dave Martin

from Courtyard Café in collecting presents. “Dave was fantastic,” Wardy said. “His drive added nearly 100 presents; he’s a good rooster.” The delivery of the presents to the children’s hospitals is still an emotional experience for Wardy, but it’s a true reminder of the Christmas spirit and a tremendous way to celebrate the memory of his son. “There are many mixed emotions when visiting the Clancy Ward at Westmead to deliver the presents, seeing a lot of familiar faces from the days when John was in there,” Wardy said. “They are very appreciative and all comment of how proud Johnno would be. That makes me very proud.” Forever Johnno will be hosting its next fundraiser on Friday, May 19 at the CBH sports bar. We highly recommend popping in, having a beer, buying a few raffle tickets, and making yourself part of what is truly a wonderful group of people.

photo @luisabrimble


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BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Madeleine Gray Picture Szilard Szasz-Toth HAVE YOUR SAY ABOUT RANDWICK JUNCTION Community engagement starts with you. As such, Randwick Council is encouraging all citizens to get involved and give some feedback on what they think is going well, and what could be improved, at Randwick Junction. Randwick City Council is preparing a Town Centre Strategy to manage the continued growth and development of Randwick Junction, so head to to have your say. SYDNEY FC KICKING GOALS Sydney FC’s A-League team has a busy month ahead this February, with matches lined up on the 3rd, 9th, 18th and 24th. So far this season Sydney FC has been killing it, and their first 12 games have surpassed anything seen before in 40 years of Australian football history, according to statistician Andrew Howe. So far the Sky Blues are on course to break the APIA’s all-time record of going the first 20 league games of the season unbeaten. The

Millionaire's row.

February 9 and 18 games are being held at Allianz in Sydney – why not grab a ticket? Please head to $300 MILLION RANDWICK TRANSFORMATION PROJECT Anzac Parade in Kensington and Kingsford could be transformed into an ‘ideas hub’ with new community centres, exhibition spaces and an innovation centre designed to encourage creative start-up businesses, Randwick Mayor Noel D’Souza announced recently. The plan proposes modest increases in heights and densities to create about 1,500 new homes, more than 1,000 new jobs and 54,000 square metres of new commercial space along the 2.5 kilometre Anzac Parade strip. For more information, visit WAVERLEY SMART BINS A SMART MOVE Waverley Council has installed Australia’s second largest fleet of solar powered smart bins in Bondi Beach and Bondi Junction to tackle litter and overflowing bins.

The bins use an internal compactor powered by solar to squash the waste, and inbuilt sensors and Wi-Fi to communicate via text and email to staff when the bins are full. Twenty-two bins were installed recently on Campbell Parade and Queen Elizabeth Drive, and another six bins will be placed along Oxford Street Mall. So you have no excuse not to clean up your rubbish – it's actually pretty exhilarating to be honest. DON’T GET YOUR KNICKERS IN A KNOT Ladies and gentleman, are you stuck for what to get your significant other for Valentine’s Day? Did the squashed flowers not go down so well last year? We’ve got the answer. If your partner is a lovely lady, or just enjoys the finer things in life, why not buy her a ‘Knickerscription’ from Panty Postman? It’s a knicker subscription where you get a killer lace thong in a surprise shade each month – the gift that keeps on giving, and it’s only $49 for three months. Head to, you minx.



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February 2017 | The Beast 31

Get used to it.

NO WALK ON WILD SIDE UNTIL 2018 Words Duncan Horscroft Picture Dan Hutton


hile most of the coastal repair work is complete following the devastation caused by the east coast low in June last year, the section of the coastal walkway between the Clovelly Bowling Club and Calga Reserve on the northern side of Waverley Cemetery remains closed. A diversion through the cemetery has been in place for some time due to a landslide, with the walkway being taken out of play seemingly because of fears of further erosion. But many are asking why there has been no diversion put in place closer to the actual walkway where the ground appears to be stable. The closure initially resulted in masses of people being forced to traipse between the gravesites, before it became evident that damage was being done to the historical site. An alternate route, which directed people up the paved road and back through the middle of the cemetery, was then introduced. 32 The Beast | February 2017

“Alternate routes have been put into place to ensure that you can enjoy this scenic walk safely,” Waverley Council says on its website. “Fences have been put up to block damaged and dangerous areas along the walk, detours are in place, and we've also put up detour maps in a number of locations along the coastal walk to guide you. “Please ensure that you stick to the path outlined in these maps for your own safety.” Waverley Council is responsible for repair work on the cliff face, and a cost of $6 million has been mentioned, but no actual structural work will begin until September at the earliest. “For any work to be undertaken all the soil [landfill] will have to be removed and the natural cliff face exposed to be able to anchor any supports,” a spokesperson said. Enquiries to the council reveal the project will probably not be complete until June 2018,

“depending on DA approval timelines”. “The project underway is the proposed landslip remediation, coastal landscape and coastal walk restoration,” Council reported. “It is important to note that this is an extremely complex project requiring a lot of work to get it right.” According to their timeline, technical studies including surveying, soil testing, geotechnical work, coastal engineering review, etc. are complete. A Draft Concept Design is expected to be submitted in February, and costing is expected to be completed by the end of the month. Council expects a DA submission to be put in place from June to July with a tender to be offered concurrent with that submission. Construction work is expected to begin in September “depending on DA approval timelines”.

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he Clovelly Hotel is an iconic Eastern Beaches institution. Perched right next to the beach, it’s long been a place of rest and rejuvenation for hungry and thirsty locals. It’s a friendly, no-frills kind of place: you order and pay at the counter, and you might get a Resch’s with your chicken parma. All of this may be about to change after the recent purchase of the Cloey by swanky hotel group, Solotel. Solotel’s portfolio includes 26 diverse venues across Sydney and Brisbane – from Chiswick in Woollahra, to Darlo Bar in Darlinghurst, North Bondi Fish to The Sheaf in Double Bay. While Chiswick and North Bondi Fish are quite clearly gastronomic destinations, with a focus on fresh produce and fine dining, places like Darlo Bar retain their old-fashioned local pub vibe. The question is, then, which of these directions will the Cloey be taken in? “Solotel will take over the operation of the hotel from February

34 The Beast | February 2017

1, from which point we will evaluate the overall offering and how it resonates with our customers,” Justine Baker, COO of Solotel, told The Beast. “Menu changes can be expected in the first month, aesthetic changes need time to plan so will be more medium term.” When asked how Solotel plans to balance the grassroots, community ethos of the Cloey with a more ‘trendy’ menu, Ms. Baker was confident that the pub would retain its charm. “We pride ourselves on having venues with their own identity and narrative that personifies the venue and the community, and that will be the same for the Cloey,” Ms. Baker said. “We envisage the Cloey being a fun, relaxed, beachside pub that the community loves and thinks of as their own.” Long-time readers of The Beast will know that Eastern Beaches locals can be quite territorial about their old haunts and family

favourites – and this is something that Ms. Baker is already humbly accepting, even relishing. “We have had many locals contact us already to let us know their view on which angle we should take,” she said. “All of them want a great, relaxed, quality-focused community pub, which is what we want to deliver.” Another question that arises from the sale is the fate of the development application lodged by the current Clovelly Hotel owners, Iris Capital, late last year. The application sought approval for the addition of 29 new hotel rooms in the building, and for the reconfiguration of the bar and restaurant areas, among other things. A few locals were displeased with this application, fearing an influx of vehicular traffic. “At this stage we haven’t got any firm plans with this DA,” Ms. Baker said. “With the takeover effective as of February 1, we will look to make an assessment after we know the pub and its opportunities.”

earth friendly bed & bath Bondi



Rose Bay

MORE BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Madeleine Gray Picture Jakob de Zwart Instagram @jakobdezwart

HEY, TOSSER! Randwick Council would like to remind residents that you can help keep the streets clean by using the public litter and recycling bins for disposing your rubbish. “If you can't find a bin, we recommend that you take your rubbish home for disposal,” a Council spokesperson said. Over the summer of 2017, Council will be running a campaign at Coogee and Maroubra beaches to help prevent littering. The ‘Hey Tosser!’ campaign messaging will be displayed, with educators on site talking to people about litter and how to prevent it entering our oceans. If you would like more information, please visit NEW PICNIC SHELTERS AT BONDI PARK Waverley Council would like to inform residents that five new picnic shelters at Bondi Park are standing tall just in time for summer. These shelters can be used for picnicking, relaxing and any other wholesome activity you can think of. They can

Little Pied Cormorant at Clovelly.

cater to large and small groups, and provide shade and respite from all kinds of weather. Plus, the open plan design allows incredible views of the park, beach and pavilion. So make a day of it, pack a picnic and enjoy summer at Bondi Park. Visit MONEY UP FOR GRABS FOR SURF CLUBS Member for Coogee Bruce Notley-Smith and Member for Vaucluse Gabrielle Upton have encouraged surf clubs to apply for the NSW Government’s Surf Club Facilities Program, which has now opened to help fund upgrades and maintenance of surf club facilities. Types of projects that will be funded include construction of new surf club facilities, capital enhancement of the facilities at existing clubs, and providing ancillary and support facilities at existing venues. Applications close on February 10. For more information or to apply, visit www. grants or call 13 13 02.

COOGEE CFS/FM SUPPORT GROUP Don’t suffer in silence. A support group for sufferers of chronic fatigue syndrome (or ME) and fibromyalgia meets on the first Tuesday of each month from 2:30pm to 4:30pm at a quiet venue in Maroubra Junction. The next meeting is on Tuesday, February 7. For details, please check out ‘Coogee Owls Meetup’ on Google and join for reminders and contacts. ALCOHOL BAN AT COOGEE BEACH Randwick City Council has declared an alcohol ban for the entire summer period at all beachside parks around Coogee Beach following consultation with NSW Police. The ban is in response to the huge amount of litter and glass bottles left at the beach by revellers on Christmas Day 2016. For more information regarding this ban, please visit Council's website at, or check out our feature on the ban and the events that inspired it inside this month’s glorious edition of The Beast.


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February 2017 | The Beast 37

Congratulations Kat!



here was an incredible response late last year to the #MySydney by WHTVR photo competition, proudly supported by The Beast, QT Bondi and Photoking Randwick, with over 1,000 entries piling in. There could only be one winner, though, and that was Kat Parker’s poignant shot of a retro Toyota wagon loaded up with surfboards down at Bondi Beach. We caught up with the photographer in question during the month… Are you a professional photographer or a hobbyist? I am a professional photographer.

genres, from food, fashion and still life, to documentary and travel. Can you tell us a little bit about your winning shot from the #MySydney by WHTVR photo competition? My friend Jana is the owner of the car. His name is Dylan. We had planned to get out of Bondi to find some waves that morning, but after looking at the forecast and driving past and seeing the waves at Bondi we decided to just go out there because it looked fun. I saw that the light was looking amazing, so decided to take a few shots of the girls getting ready around the car before we jumped into the water.

How long have you been shooting for? I started to get really inspired by photography while studying journalism at university. I took a photojournalism course and absolutely loved it, so I started mucking around with an old point and shoot film camera, shooting my friends. I never really considered it as a full time career until around four years ago.

What was the inspiration for your photograph? There was no inspiration as such. I just love the ocean, the morning light, and rad old cars with boards on the roof.

What sort of content do you generally shoot? I shoot across various

Did you think you had a good chance of winning? You gotta be in

38 The Beast | February 2017

How many frames did it take you to get the right shot? When I’m shooting I normally just shoot away and determine the selects and best images when editing.

it to win it, right? There were lots of good entries and I really had no idea whether I was going to win, but I’m super thankful that I did! What about your shot do you think appealed to the judges? I think everyone can appreciate an epic old car and the morning light, especially at Bondi. What is your favourite place/thing in the Eastern Suburbs to shoot? We are so incredibly lucky to live in such a beautiful place with so many epic locations to shoot. I love the beach at Bondi with its white sand and turquoise water, as well as the iconic houses on the hill. Then there’s the cliff tops, the sandstone rock formations, the ocean pools – the list is plentiful. Everything is just so special around here. Check out the winning photo on our contents page and all the finalists on the photos pages. You can see more of Kat ’s work by following @katrinaparker on Instagram or visiting her website,

Welcome to 2017! I hope you were able to spend quality time with your family and friends during the Christmas and New Year break, enjoying our beautiful Randwick City. Sadly, Christmas Day saw an impromptu party of 10,000 people at Coogee Beach parks, which saw some disgraceful and anti-social behaviour due to excessive alcohol consumption, not to mention the 15 tonnes of rubbish our Waste Services team had to clean up. Unfortunately this is nothing new, with NSW Police spending roughly eight hours each day in Coogee managing alcohol-related issues – six hours responding to alcoholrelated incidents and another two hours actively patrolling. Following consultation with the NSW Police Local Area Command, it became clear we needed to take stronger action, with Council resolving to enforce a total alcohol ban throughout the summer at Coogee beachside parks. While we know there are people in the community that may not agree with Council’s decision, Coogee Beach is meant to be for local residents and their families to enjoy. It’s time we gave Coogee Beach back to the residents so locals can use these gorgeous parks for a BBQ or a picnic in an environment that is not only clean but safe as well.

Councillor Noel D’Souza Mayor of Randwick 26 January

2 February

6 February

Australia Day at Coogee Beach 10am-2pm Coogee Beach

Maroubra Dunes Bushcare 9am-1pm Meet in the car park near South Maroubra Surf Lifesaving Club

Clovelly Precinct Residents Meeting 7:30pm-9:30pm Clovelly Senior Citizens Centre 40-42A Arden Street, Clovelly

17 February

20 February

23 February

Table Tennis For Fun 1pm-3pm Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Parade, Maroubra

Coogee Precinct Residents Meeting 7:30pm-9:30pm Coogee East Ward Senior Citizens Centre 97R Brook Street, Coogee

Ladies’ Pool Bushcare 10am-12pm McIvers Ladies’ Pool, Coogee





oe Morton sat alone in his newly acquired ‘micro-unit’ in Vaucluse on New Year’s Eve while he livestreamed the party-to-end-all-parties to his friends via social media. The young professional squeezed into his multi-million dollar property and broadcast the thrilling extravaganza to all of his contacts across his various social media platforms. Morton recounted the scintillating experience, via FaceTime, as he completed the brief clean-up the morning after. “Basically, the unit is only big enough to hold two people at any time,” he stated, before delivering a not-so-stunning concession. “Yes, I’m single. Maybe it’s because after I moved in I had to update my Tinder profile to say I can only date women who are size six or less, otherwise there’s just no space in the flat.” On the night in question he flicked between his phone, laptop, tablet and desktop in order to 40 The Beast | February 2017

connect with contacts, some of whom he even knows personally. He admitted that the first person he invited to the celebration was his bank manager. “Let’s face it, I’ll be beholden to him for the rest of my life,” Mr. Morton said. “He was thrilled to send a work experience kid to attend the celebration via Skype. “From about 8pm I tweeted my emotions, I reflected on my year through WhatsApp group chats, and I set out my resolutions on Messenger. “I filmed the local 9pm fireworks and uploaded that to Youtube, just for something different. In between all of this I posted photos of food and drink on Instagram and got hundreds of likes. “The only awkward moment was when I accidentally posted a smiley emoji after a friend told us all he’d been sacked just before Christmas.” A tight budget forced Mr. Morton to be creative with catering.

“The Instagram photos of spirits were actually just water in bottles I raided from the recycling bins downstairs, the red wine was blackcurrant juice, so I feel surprisingly spritely this morning, and the food photos I put on Pinterest were actually of plastic display food that I borrowed from a mate who runs a sushi restaurant,” he said. Morton confessed that the huge barista machine dominating his kitchen was actually real, as were the tapas and hors d’ouvres he enjoyed while watching the midnight fireworks on television. “That said, it was a nightmare trying to keep the smashed avocado out of shot, because that would have really annoyed my parents, who lent me a small fortune to help buy the place,” he said. Amazingly, at about 2am Mr. Morton discovered that one of his Viber contacts actually lives in the flat next door. “I thought about inviting her over, but that would just be weird.”

MAYOR‘S MESSAGE Happy New Year to all residents of Waverley. 2016 was a very busy year with Council staff working hard to deliver great outcomes for the Waverley community. 2017 is likely to be just as busy.

Highlights from a busy year… Last year alone, we delivered around $30 million in new community infrastructure, including new playgrounds and park upgrades, new amenities, a new synthetic sports field and multi-purpose courts at Waverley Park, repairing 450 footpaths, and laying 1,800 rolls of turf. We also cleaned 4,000 stormwater pits and responded to over 12,000 ‘your call’ garbage pick-ups.

156,000 litres of garbage and 66,000 litres of recycling from Bondi Park and Hugh Bamford Reserve alone. A great effort.

Proposed merger of Waverley, Randwick and Woollahra Councils Woollahra Council was unsuccessful in its lengthy legal action against the proposed council amalgamation in 2016. Court judgements dismissed Woollahra’s case each time with costs awarded against them. However, early this year Woollahra Council decided to continue its legal action, and lodged an application to seek leave to appeal to the High Court, thereby prolonging the uncertainty for all three councils. During 2016, staff across the three councils have worked really well together to prepare for the proposed merger and to ensure the new merged organisation provides even better services to the community.

And the work did not stop there. Over Christmas/ New Year, staff responded to 16 emergency call outs, including retrieving an iPhone from a stormwater drain for a grateful resident, carried out 150 successful rescues at Bondi Beach on one day, and cleared up

I look forward to more certainty for Waverley Council and its staff in the near future. Until then, it’s business as usual and we will continue to focus on meeting the needs of the Waverley community.


Join our Wild About You Workshop to unlock the secrets to creating a wildlife friendly neighbourhood.

Wild About You – Native Gardening Workshop Wednesday 22 February, 6–8pm Waverley Library, Level 1 Theatrette, 32/48 Denison Street, Bondi Junction

CUSTOMER SERVICE CENTRE 55 Spring Street, Bondi Junction NSW 2022 PO Box 9, Bondi Junction NSW 1355 PHONE 9083 8000 WEB

Tony Kay, Acting Mayor of Waverley

In this workshop, you’ll learn how to plant a successful native garden that looks great and provides habitat for our local native animals. Horticulturist and passionate organic gardener Toni Salter will also be on hand to give you some expert tips. To find out more please contact Vicky Bachelard at or on 9083 8049. For more event info visit our website

Connect with us:

February 2017 MONDAY




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BRIDGE REVISION CLASS Bowen Library will soon be starting an informal Bridge Club and invites those who are a little rusty to attend this revision class today from 1:30pm-3:30pm. Fire up the brain cells and make new friends. Register at or call 9093 6400.

CITIZENSHIP CEREMONY Randwick Mayor Noel D’Souza will today be hosting a citizenship ceremony in Randwick Town Hall from 9:30am to 3pm to celebrate 300 Randwick residents becoming ‘new Australians’. The ceremony will be followed by a light supper courtesy of Council.

FIFTY SHADES DARKER Running until April 2, Moonlight Cinema at the Belvedere Amphitheatre in Centennial Park is one of the true gems of the east. Tonight, banish your inner prude and go see the screening of the Fifty Shades sequel under the stars. Visit

REGENERATE RANDWICK’S BUSH Become a bushcare volunteer and work with Randwick Council's bushcare officers on a bush regeneration program at Fred Hollows Reserve today from 9am-1pm. The reserve has one of Sydney metro’s last remaining rainforest gullies. Call 9399 0708.

SYDNEY FC HOME GAME The Sky Blues take on the Wellington Phoenix tonight at 7.50pm at Allianz Stadium. They’re currently undefeated (at the time of writing) and sitting pretty on top of the A-League ladder. For more information, please visit

JASPER JONES AT BELVOIR If you haven’t yet seen Belvoir’s production of seminal Aussie work Jasper Jones, consider this your siren call. Kate Mulvany’s adaption of Craig Silvey’s award-winning novel is daggy-funny and wise, and back from Jan 25 to Feb 19 by popular demand.

VALENTINE’S DAY We are firm believers in the idea that you should show your love for your partner every day of the year, but it’s always nice to go the extra mile and make a special day of it today. In the immortal words of the Beatles, all you need is love - and flowers from Hamblin's Florist.

GABRIEL CALLS THE SHOTS Art2Muse Gallery in Double Bay will be presenting a major solo exhibition from Gabriel Scanu, a young artist who is taking Instagram by storm with his innovative use of aerial photography. The exhibition will run from February 7 to 20.

SIGN UP FOR CUPID’S UNDIE RUN Change things up this Valentine’s weekend and sign up for the Cupid’s Undie Run on Feb 19. It beats overpriced Champagne by the harbour any day. Put on your undies and run around the city for the Children’s Tumour Foundation. Visit

POETS’ PICNIC TOMORROW Get along to the annual Poets’ Picnic tomorrow from 5–8pm at Blackburn Gardens in Double Bay for a moving celebration of poetry, overlooking Sydney Harbour. Take a picnic, enjoy the view and listen to some of Australia’s most acclaimed poets. Call 9391 7000.

ART CLASSES WITH LILY OEN Do you ever find yourself promising to dedicate some ‘me time’ to yourself, but never actually getting around to it? That’s not good enough! Sign up to Lily Oen’s art class today from 1–3:30pm at Bowen Library, and lose yourself to the serenity. Call 9314 4888.

AUSTRALIAN OPEN OF SURFING Catch the fourth day of the Australian Open of Surfing (Feb 25 – Mar 5) over the other side of the bridge at Manly Beach today. You’ll see the world's best surfers as well as music, art, fashion and skateboarding, all for free. Visit

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HIT IF OFF WITH PING PONG Fancy yourself a bit of a ping pong legend? Got a way with the old bat and ball? Why not get along to Bowen Library today from 1pm to 3pm for the weekly Table Tennis for Fun session? You have a duty to your talent to make it work. Good luck!

SYDNEY SEVENS Sydney Sevens is an iconic Sydney summer experience. Running from Feb 3 – 5, expect a fast-paced, anxiety-filled, fancy dress rugby extravaganza. Check out www. Tonight is the big dress-up night, so go big or go home.

EIGHTY YEARS WITH A BRUSH Bondi Pavilion Gallery presents a retrospective exhibition of the work of local artist and teacher Effim Novak, a celebrated Russian painter who now gives tuition to students from across the Eastern Beaches area. It’s on from January 30 to February 11.

THE KNIT-IN GROUP Join fellow knitters in a relaxed friendly atmosphere at Margaret Martin Library, 12:30–2:30pm today, and help create warm wraps, squares and blankets, which will benefit less privileged communities in both Australia and abroad. No bookings required.

BUSHCARE AT DOVER HEIGHTS Hugh Bamford Reserve at Dover heights is an extraordinary piece of land, with an even more extraordinary view of the ocean. Meet between 46 and 48 Wentworth Street, Dover Heights today at 9am, and help preserve the glorious bush and wildlife.

NORTH BONDI CLASSIC The second of the two North Bondi Classics (along with January’s ‘roughwater’ event), there are two distances on offer today, the 1km swim at 9.15am and the 2km swim at 10.30am.You can do one swim or both. For more info, please visit

BONDI URBAN WELLNESS RETREAT On Feb 19, head to Bondi Beach for a luxurious wellness escape featuring sound healing, a tantric workshop, yin yoga, reiki healing and more. Attendees will also receive an organic lunch and deluxe gift bag. Please visit

BOWL-A-RAMA BONDI Get down to Bondi Beach for the first day of Bowl-A-Rama Bondi 2017, and watch the world’s best skaters live. This year the event will be presented by our cover star, Corbin Harris. Please visit for more information.

MARDI GRAS FAIR DAY Love Mardi Gras but hate the crowds? Get along to Fair Day at Victoria Park. Attracting more than 80,000 people each year, Fair Day is home to live music, international cuisine, and fun activities with local LGBTQI organisations. Visit

ASTA AT THE OAF Boasting an immediate add to Triple J rotation, Asta's iridescent funk-pop gem 'Shine' is undeniably living up to its name. Head to the Oxford Art Factory tonight for a glistening display of self-assured pop from the former Triple J Unearthed High winner.

QUEER WARHOL PANEL TALK AGNSW is this month presenting its newest exhibition, ‘Adman: Warhol before Pop’, and today from 1–3pm it will be hosting a panel talk with leading international art historians in collaboration with Mardi Gras’ Queer Thinking Series. Head to

BONDI BLUE WATER CHALLENGE The Bondi Blue Water Challenge takes place today. It is made up of three swim distances: 2.1 kilometres, 1 kilometre and 500 metres (including both an open age and kid’s 500-metre swim for children aged 9-12 years). For more info, visit

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The Best of Both Worlds

CORBIN HARRIS Interview Dan Hutton Photography Jeremy Greive

Where are you originally from? I was born in Sutherland Shire Hospital, and grew up in Miranda and the Caringbah area. Where are you living these days? I’m living in Los Angeles, specifically downtown LA, opposite the Staples Centre where the Lakers play, which is cool. I basically live in a hotel-style apartment, because I'm on the road so much. It makes sense, but it's definitely not somewhere I want to be forever. You also called the Eastern Suburbs home for quite some time; what first brought you to the east? I was going to school in the Sutherland Shire for my first year of high school, then I didn't do so well so my mum decided she was shipping me off to Waverley College. I fell in love with going to school there. I was getting a train for an hour and ten minutes on the way there, and then a bus from the Junction all the way back, every day – but I never, ever skipped school. I've got a pretty good relationship with my parents and they can see right through me. I moved basically straight out of school into a place in Bondi, surfing and skating every day. You’ve said in other interviews that your mum is a big inspiration for you; can you elaborate on that? I just think the family that

I have grown up with have been a hundred and ten per cent supportive of whatever I've done. They’re just good people. Every decision I make is with Mum and Dad and the rest of the family. Did your mum push you to pursue the media side of your career on top of the skating? She did actually. She's been the brains behind a lot of it. I think I was so heavily into sport my whole life. At Waverley I played A-grade rugby all the way through, then I started skateboarding seriously when I was about 17. Once I started travelling to skate, Mum said to me, "Hey, we need a back up option. You need to do an apprenticeship and be a sparky or a chippy." I looked at all the TAFE courses and I was like, “These are all four years; this is way too long. I've got to get something done quick.” I did a real estate and property management course and completed it in a year, and then I started travelling for skating. When did you first jump on a skateboard? I stood on my brother’s skateboard when I was six years old in the front of our house. We’ve still got the picture actually. It's pretty sick; I was wearing a Garfield hat and Converse. I couldn't get my head around how you did it. It's kind of tough trying to ollie and you have to put so much time into it. I really picked

skating back up at 14 years old when I rode down on my BMX to an industrial area in Taren Point and I saw an indoor skate park. As soon as I saw it I remember looking through the fence and being like, "This is the coolest thing I've ever seen." I liked the fact that I could do it by myself and it wasn't a team sport, because I played team sports my whole life and it was a nice change. Plus, at that point skateboarding was definitely pumping on a larger scale. When did you realise you were good enough to turn professional? Maybe like five years ago. Ha ha. No, I just remember being so into it at around 16 when I was doing Warped Tour and Big Day Out. I remember standing on the platform and looking around. Danny Way was next to me, and a couple of my idols that I looked up to, like Colin McKay and Steve Caballero. I was like, “This is pretty sick.” So you're like the Dane Reynolds of skate, or is Dane the Corbin Harris of surf? Absolutely not, he's the king. I'm nowhere near that. Do you get scared? I do get scared, for sure. I get scared skating street, handrails, and stuff like that. The flow of skating swimming pools or bowls or concrete skate parks like Bondi feels natural to me. I definitely get scared on the street February 2017 | The Beast 45

Culture Vulture The Hidden History of Gay Sydney Thursday 23 February, 6-8pm - Paddington Library Join renowned historian Garry Wotherspoon to take a journey into gay Sydney’s past, from police raids on drag balls during the Great Depression to the first Mardi Gras in 1978.

though, and I think that's maybe why I pulled up stumps on skating contests, too. A media option came up and then all my sponsors were basically like, "Oh we're actually happier if you just go and do the media stuff because you'll get more air time, and then you can still do your skate projects. You just make up a trip and let us know where you want to go." They'd send a videographer and a filmer with me and I’d get to make an unreal piece of content that I could be creatively involved in, which is what I really like doing. What's the worst injury you've had? I think I’m just consistently smashing my body. Five broken ankles, four broken arms, torn posterior cruciate ligament in my knee, hematoma on my elbow that's never gone down since I was 14. My glutes are just the worst; I need to get them rubbed out every two to four weeks because they become so tight and start playing on my back, my vertebrae. I’ve had this back 46 The Beast | February 2017

Learn about a side of Sydney’s hidden history from an author and activist who has spent decades at the forefront of struggles for justice and equality. Free, book online.

problem for the last year and even with all the Olympic doctors, CT scans and MRIs, we still couldn't figure it out, then it just came good one day. Getting back to the Eastern Suburbs, what do you love about life in the area? What's not to love in the Eastern Suburbs? The things I miss when I'm away are the restaurants and the culture of waking up early, getting in the ocean, having a swim, and just feeling like a million bucks straight away. I surfed a lot when I was young with my dad; he was a really good surfer. I stopped surfing for a while and I've just started to get into it again; I kind of love it now. I love the challenge of it. What gets your goat about the Eastern Suburbs? There are so many aggressive drivers. People are on the horn all the time and it’s intense. I feel like in the States it doesn't happen, but you never know if someone's got a gun or not over there.

You mentioned you played A-grade rugby at school; is it true that you once harboured ambitions of playing for the Wallabies? Oh, absolutely. I loved it. I still love footy so much. Rugby union is, obviously, the game they play in heaven. Is the skate scene ageist at all? No, I don’t think age is a barrier. I mean, Tony Hawk's 49 years old and he's still doing it well. He's spinning 900s, a trick that changed skateboarding and gave him a video game and made him so successful. You're probably Australia's most famous/recognisable skater; back in your heyday were you actually Australia's best skater? Yeah, I won the Australian Championship in 2009. I was Australian bowl riding champion. I haven't been in a contest in five years, though. It's funny because skateboarding’s still one of those sports where guys that could be the best don't compete. They just do video parts, or they

just skate and fulfil their sponsorship requirements, so it's hard to say, “That guy is the best.” Who, in your opinion, is Australia's best skater at the moment? Jack Fardell. He rides for Adidas. I've been helping him a little with strategic planning in a few contests. He's hopefully coming to BowlA-Rama at Bondi in February, and then he's in the big series that's going around the world for the Olympics in 2020, so that's what he's working for. I feel like there's always going to be your diehard core skate guy - skating street, skating pools, skating whatever but skateboarding, whether you like it or not, is now mothers dropping off their kids at the skate park in BMW X5s or Mercedes 4WDs. There’s definitely more money coming into it now that it’s going to be an Olympic sport. What television work are you doing at the moment? I am doing some Red Bull stuff, so I could be

hosting skiing, snowboarding, cliff diving, or any of those ‘extreme’ sports around the world. I'm also working on a new series in the States, too, and that's probably just going to be up on YouTube and we're looking for partners for that at the moment. I'm also on NBC in America, doing a show called Red Bull Signature Series, where I'm reporting on the beach from events like the Volcom Pipe Pro and other things like that. When you're not skating and doing television, you're designing clothes and shoes; what drives you to keep working hard and creating stuff? It's just stuff that I love, so it's not even a chore. I just get hyped on trying to create new things. I like having a lot of things on my plate. At the moment I’m working on a new fashion capsule range, which will drop in February at General Pants. I've been heavily influenced by Japanese street wear over the years, and it really shows in these pieces.

You’re a General Pants ambassador; how did that role materialise? It was actually just a phone call between Craig, the CEO, and I. I really love General Pants – it was clothing that I bought growing up – and it felt like the stars aligned. We hit it off and now I’ve just been going gung-ho. It's a young team and they're on the same page as where I am. Have you always had an interest in fashion? Yeah, I was always drawn to it. I think it seriously goes back to my sister and mum. It's like they've always had a specific style. And Dad too. Dad's cruising with the newest Nikes and he pretty much just wears the stuff I wear. He's the same size too, so he's very lucky. Is skateboarding a good thing for kids to get into, or is it basically just a lot of trips to the emergency room? Mum couldn't come to a lot of my contests because she was so nervous at times, and she knew

February 2017 | The Beast 47


Congratulations to the Randy Petes on a successful 2015-16



Congratulations to the Randy Petes on a successful 2015-16

Yum Cha Daily

Tuesday to Friday 11:00am - 3:00pm (10:am on Saturdays and Sundays)

Outdoor BBQ area Fully catered packages available Only minutes from the CBD Courtesy Bus available for corporate pick-ups | 9399 4188 Randwick Club PROUD SPONSOR OF RANDWICK PETERSHAM CRICKET CLUB 135 Alison Road Randwick Congratulations to the Randy Petes on a successful 2015-16 PROUD SPONSOR OF RANDWICK PETERSHAM CRICKET CLUB

Congratulations to the Randy Petes on a successful 2015-16

Come and sample the wide ranging menu at


andy Petes on a successful 2015-16 Outdoor BBQ area Fully catered packages available minutes from the CBD OUROnly EATERY Bus available for ON THECourtesy GREENS corporate pick-ups Outdoor BBQ area Fully catered packages available Only minutes from the CBD Courtesy Bus available for CricketAGMAd A4 1602 RAN.indd corporate pick-ups

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how invested I was in it. Once demo on the rooftop of Westfield Who is your favourite skater and Mum watched me in Bowl-AMiranda, an art show at the Beach who was your favourite skater Rama and I lost in the final, so Road and, of course, the epic growing up as a kid? My favourite Come and she thought she was a jinx and Insight skater growing up as a kid was sample the wideAfterparty. Good times. Come and she wouldn’tsample come again. I played ranging menu at Lance Mountain, just because he the wide ranging menu at football since I was four years old Why should Beast readers buy a was quirky and funny. My favourite so I think my parents were already Bowl-A-Rama ticket and get down skater style-wise would have to be Come and Randwick Bowling Club sample the wide used to me getting beaten up. to Bondi? Because they're pretty 2 The Avenue Dylan Rieder, for sure. He makes ranging menu at Randwick 2031 OUR EATERY The injuries definitely went up cheap and it's just awesome evenPhone 02 9399things look effortless. ON THE GREENS 3036 OUR EATERY when I started skateboarding, but ON THE forGREENS someone who hasn't watched /randwickclub it’s just one of those sports where skateboarding at all. Last year we Do you have a favourite skate OUR EATERY ON THE GREENS you can express yourself way more had maybe 70 per cent of people movie? Gleaming the Cube is pretty than anything else. You're wearing who'd never been before. In the good. Search for Animal Chin might whatever you want to wear, you semi-finals and finals even some be my favourite though, just can actually walk straight out the of the big name skateboarders like because I did a 30th anniversary door and just push on concrete. All Pedro Barros, Bucky Lasek, and special with all the Animal Chin you need is your skateboard and Tony Hawk are trying tricks that guys. They rebuilt the ramp that you; I think there's something cool they don't even know they're going they did in the movie and that was about that. to do. They get so amped. When a pretty cool experience. you've got that many people in Bowl-A-Rama comes back to Bondi that amphitheatre screaming, the Skating will become an Olympic in February; what's your role in energy is phenomenal. Pedro Barsport in 2020; do you think it's a the festival this year? My role is ros is one of my favourites and he good thing for the sport that it's basically host for the event and just rides the skateboard like Dane becoming more mainstream? Yeah, all the television side of things. Reynolds surfs. If you haven't seen absolutely. People might hate me for General Pants is the major sponsor, any skateboarding, get down there saying that, but I think it's great. At so they’re going to have a bunch and check it out because you'll the end of the day if people want to of activations down there and be blown away. It’s a world-class do this for a living, you've got to get activities off-site including a skate bowl, too. the sport out there. Then companies 1

11/02/2016 11:49 am

Outdoor BBQ area Fully catered packages available Only minutes from the CBD Courtesy Bus available for corporate pick-ups

Outdoor BBQ area Fully catered packages available Only minutes from the CBD Courtesy Bus available for corporate pick-ups

Randwick Bowling Club 2 The Avenue Randwick 2031 Phone 02 9399 3036 /randwickclub

CricketAGMAd A4 1602 RAN.indd 1

Randwick Bowling Club 2 The Avenue Randwick 2031 Phone 02 9399 3036 /randwickclub

Randwick Bowling Club 2 The Avenue Randwick 2031 Phone 02 9399 3036 /randwickclub

11/02/2016 11:49 am

CricketAGMAd A4 1602 RAN.indd 1

11/02/2016 11:49 am

11/02/2016 11:49 am

48 The Beast | February 2017

11/02/2016 11:49 am

are investing more money, and they want more out of their athletes. There's definitely a part of the antiestablishment stuff in skateboarding that I love and I think is really cool, but there's room for both. Skating is a rebellious sport; do you think it will lose that rebelliousness as the Olympics takes it more mainstream? The Olympics and television side of things is one side, but there’ll always be the other side too, that core side of skateboarding. Even big companies like Nike and Adidas know who the coolest guys are. They're still sponsoring them and they're not doing contests. Is skating cooler now that guys are pushing themselves and doing crazy manoeuvres, or was it cooler back in the day in the California droughts when people were jumping over fences into random people's empty backyard swimming pools? That still happens; I still do that. I travel out to San Bernardino or North Hollywood

maybe once a week with a bunch of boys and we skate backyard swimming pools. Some of them have squatters in and some of them don't, but skateboarding is still very raw. You're in there, you've jumped the fence, maybe you paid off the next door neighbour in cigarettes, sometimes you're going to pretty poor areas, and then you've got a generator on the back of your car and you're trying to get the water out of a pool. That’s very cool. Do you support any charities? Whatever comes my way. Obviously the Tony Hawk Foundation is one I support, which is about building skate parks across the world in low income areas. It’s really trying to push sports in those areas so people, especially youths, are doing positive things and being empowered. I’m up to help out however I can, though. Do you have any advice for youngsters looking to make a career out of skating or in the media? I think

the advice that I'd give is to not worry about what could go wrong. Push yourself, and if anyone brings you down just get out there and try to do it anyway. If you've got an idea, what's the worst thing that can happen? The world needs more positive people who just give stuff a crack. In an ideal world, what does the future hold for Corbin Harris? In an ideal world I’d probably buy a house in the Eastern Suburbs in the next few years and have one in New York, then I’d go back and forth between the two. I’d spend some of my time up in Montauk in the summer, or Long Island, go fishing, and then come back here and skate and surf and hang out with all my friends. I’d like to have the best of both worlds. Corbin will be presenting this year's Bowl-a-Rama. Please visit australia for more information.

Turn your driveway into cash this summer. Search ‘Parallel Parking’ in the App Store

February 2017 | The Beast 49

F*** off, we're closed.

HAS BONDI REACHED ‘PEAK CAFÉ’? Words Rupert Truscott-Hughes Picture Trent from Punchy


ave you noticed how many cafes and restaurants Bondi is home to? Noticed also that whenever a ‘For Lease’ sign goes up it is inevitably a food venture that moves in? And when a new development opens, what tends to fill the commercial space below? You guessed it: more cafes and restaurants. Well, Rupert here has a theory. I reckon we’ve just about reached what I like to call ‘peak café’. During the last couple of months we’ve seen the closure of Jed’s, Bondi Picnic, and Café Bondi, to name but a few. I never venture south of Bondi so I don’t know how the other beaches are faring, but here in the bubble I fear that things are about to get ugly. I sense that the aforementioned closures are just the beginning. While Bondi is now a yearround destination - particularly since the completion of the Adina and Pacific developments, and thanks largely to the subsequent high profile restaurants and cafés 50 The Beast | February 2017

they have attracted and the generous promotion afforded to them by websites such as Broadsheet, Time Out and Concrete Playground - I still feel that something is about to snap. Food ventures are far from easy, and they’re definitely not the licence to print money that many people believe them to be. Most operate off a 30-30-30-10 profit model that involves spending 30 per cent of revenue on food costs, 30 per cent on labour, and 30 per cent on overheads including rent and other outgoings, then keeping 10 per cent in the pocket at the end of the day. With those sorts of margins it’s no surprise that cafes and restaurants go belly up. All it takes is a bigger than expected electricity bill, a couple of plumbing disasters, a broken fridge, a delayed liquor licence, or a week of inclement weather in summer and all of a sudden you’re losing money. Of course another key contributor to a café or restaurant’s demise

is often a greedy landlord. As soon as they see a tenant turning over throngs of customers, they want a bigger piece of the pie. Sometimes even a small increase in rent is enough to tip a venue over the edge. Given the number of cafes and restaurants in the area, things are bloody competitive. The marketing mix of product, place, price and promotion has never been more important. Stuff up just one of the ‘four ps’ and you’re a goner. Crap food is no longer tolerated in Bondi, and if you’re looking to fleece locals’ credit cards you’d want to fill their bellies first. So before you and your mates with bugger all experience in hospitality decide to sign an exorbitant lease and fork out a few hundred thousand dollars on a fit-out, I suggest you take a good look at the figures. The food game is dog eat dog in these parts, and only a select few are bringing home the bacon. 2017 is the year of ‘peak café’. You heard it here first.




I don’t think there can be too many. With all the new ones starting up, I think it’s fantastic. I just like the variety. You can go to a different cafe every time and try different things and different kinds of foods.

I don’t think you can have too many because it is becoming such a great cultural hotspot for cafes. I think there’s a variety of different people in Sydney so everything caters to someone.



I don’t think you can have too many cafes; I think it is great. It seems to me that is what the area is turning into: a groovy, top-of-the-range venue for different cafes and places to eat.

Well I think if it is too competitive, that’s going to be a detriment. But Coogee is a busy area so having lots of places to sit and to be served is a good thing.


I believe in competition and because we just came from a queue at Poke with around 30 people, I think there aren’t too many cafes.


I grew up in Melbourne, so no, definitely not too many. The coffee here is still not good enough, so I think the competition would weed out all the crappy ones. February 2017 | The Beast 51

A chip off the old block.

LOCAL BLOKE... SIMON HART FROM BONDI Interview James Hutton Picture Grant Brooks


imon Hart is the owner of Byron Bay Chopping Blocks. He’s lived in Bondi for the last eight years having returned from the depths of despair out west. He shares his local favourites with The Beast… How long have you lived here? Eight years. My folks used to live here when I was a kid then moved out west and I couldn’t wait to get back here. What’s your favourite beach? Bondi. I love the south corner to surf on the long board and the north to hang out with friends. What’s your favourite eatery? I spend a lot of time at the Three Steps Café. Those guys are quick, they know what you want, the prices are reasonable and there’s no fuss. Where do you like to have a drink? I don’t drink that much, but I drink a lot of fresh juice from the Bondi Fruitologist. Those guys are always friendly.

52 The Beast | February 2017

Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? There is always something happening, from Sculpture by the Sea to Bondi Winter Magic ice skating at the Pavilion. Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Maybe the parking. It’s so hard if friends and family come over. They should probably catch the bus, but they’re often full too. Do you have a favourite sporting team? I love the Swans, especially if they are winning. They went so close this year. What music are you into at the moment? I’m loving Kingfisha from Brisbane’s roots/reggae sound, and his voice is so sweet. What do you get up to on the weekends? Most weekends are down at the Bondi Farmers Market working. If I do get some time off I’m playing the guitar, writing music or surfing. What do you do for work? I’m the owner of Byron Bay Chopping

Boards. I started it after 18 years of being a chef. The chopping boards are all eco-friendly, made from one solid piece of timber. I’m down at Bondi Farmers Market on the second, fourth and fifth Saturdays of the month. What's your favourite thing about work? I get to spend my time between Bondi and Byron, and my dad has just retired to Bali, so I have the three Bs - Bondi, Byron, Bali. Who is your favourite person? At the moment it's Andrew who works with me. He’s my right arm. Do you have a favourite quote? “Go placidly amid the haste and the noise and remember what peace there may be in silence. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are a vexation to the spirit” the Desiderata. Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Live through just one day and try not to deal with all of life’s problem at once.

great people and such a great community spirit. What’s the worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Finding parking seems to be really difficult, and don't get me started on the prices of property. Do you have a favourite sporting team? Maroubra United is my son's soccer team, so of course they are my favourite sporting team. What music are you into at the moment? I love Adele and songs that I can sing along to. Mostly the charts, but also old time favourites like ‘Father and Son’. Who is your favourite person? My hubby and my two kids are my favourite people in the whole wide world. What do you get up to on the weekends? We spend Saturday mornings at the kids' sporting activities and then the rest of the weekend is usually spent outdoors.

Very tidy.

LOCAL CHICK... CATE KLOOS FROM SOUTH COOGEE Interview James Hutton Picture Grant Brooks


ate Kloos is a professional organiser from South Coogee who also runs a not-for-profit business connecting families with surrogate grandparents. She shares her local favourites with The Beast… How long have you lived here? I was born in Germany and my husband and I moved to Australia in 2003. We lived in the Inner West for a year, but soon decided that we wanted to live close to the beach. We moved to South Coogee in 2004 and simply love it! What's your favourite beach? We are lucky because Coogee Beach, Maroubra Beach and Mahon Pool 54 The Beast | February 2017

are all within walking distance, so we go to those beaches mostly. What's your favourite eatery? The Lion and Buffalo in South Coogee as it's local, has great food and the staff are very friendly. Where do you like to have a drink? I run two businesses so don't really have the time to go out much. As such, it has to be our balcony on a nice warm summer's night with either a glass of white wine or a caipirinha. What’s the best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Everything that we need is here - best beaches,

What do you do for work? I work as a professional organiser called Little Ms Tidy during the day and I run a not-for-profit business called Find a Grandparent at night. What's your favourite thing about work? I love helping people and with both my businesses that's what I do. As Little Ms Tidy I help my clients to declutter and organise their homes and offices, and help them to feel more comfortable and relaxed in their space. Find a Grandparent connects families with surrogate grandparents, so I help people to make a connection and feel less lonely. Do you have a favourite quote? "A bargain is not a bargain if it's something you don't need" and "The best way to get something done is to begin". Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Be kind to one another.


A LITTLE SLICE OF PARADISE Words and Picture Dan Trotter


ith our New Year’s resolutions either kicking in or long forgotten, it’s time to get down to focusing on what we want from today, this month, this year and, well, what we want from our lives. How were your holidays? Take a moment to stop, remember, smile, laugh and cry at the memories made, the friends and family visited, and the goodbyes that had to happen. Did you fish? Did you catch? Stop, again, and bring back the pictures to your mind’s eye of the relaxing hours spent by the water and cherish those moments. Whilst this may all sound a bit soppy, writing my monthly article in The Beast provides me the time to pause and reflect. It’s a few hours each month that I love. The photo for this month’s article comes from one of those magical moments in life that only a fisherman gets to experience, know and love; one of those rare highlights when the world seems to stand still and it’s only you, your thoughts, the water, and the fish.

56 The Beast | February 2017

It was a rare opportunity to find a little slice of paradise – solo, lost, way up in the mountains of New Zealand’s North Island, on a river almost never fished with big trout rising to sip insects off the surface, as they do every day oblivious to the world around them. This little slip of a river is mostly protected from a fisherman’s carefully presented offering by canyon walls that stretch up 300 to 600 feet from where the river runs through it. As fortune would have it, after hours of driving in search of an access point that wouldn’t kill me, I found a farmhouse where the banks were steep, but they were not cliffs. After some convincing, the very kind farmer allowed me to walk down into a world almost forgotten, and there in the half-light of the canyon I found an unusual kind of excited peace, with world class brown and rainbow trout in every pool. The photo is of the first fish I caught that day, and the whole 30 minutes it took to stalk, cast, hook

and catch this magnificent fish were straight out of the textbook. Upon eating the fly, the fish ran hard and fast before leaping and cartwheeling across the big open pool, upstream then downstream, running deep then shallow, until after some time I was blessed to swim its rose gold flanks onto the sandy bank, where joy and victory were mine. Only the river, the canyon walls and yours truly heard my whoops of exhilaration, and I laughed, grinned and commended myself for hours, reliving the moment and thanking the fish, the natural world and life in general for the chance to feel so alive! With all that in mind, and 2017 now in full swing, it’s time to take charge. The power to change our futures is open to us all; the more we believe, the more influence we have. So waste no time and get busy - busy dreaming, busy doing and busy believing in what you want - then make it happen. Lucky are we that we live an existence where this can be true – don’t waste it!

FEBRUARY 2017 TIDE CHART Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Picture Szilard Szasz-Toth MONDAY

6 0447 1126 1725 2318

1.62 0.51 1.30 0.50

13 0432 1052 1715 2323

0.39 1.78 0.30 1.51

20 0405 1048 1636 2227

1.41 0.70 1.16 0.70

27 0319 0941 1606 2210

0.37 1.83 0.24 1.59




1 0000 0551 1208 1834

1.50 0.45 1.71 0.32

2 0047 0643 1256 1919

1.51 0.49 1.61 0.37

3 0140 0741 1349 2009

1.52 0.53 1.50 0.43

4 0237 0848 1451 2107

1.53 0.56 1.39 0.48

7 0553 1.70 1237 0.42 1836 1.33

8 0021 0654 1338 1936

0.47 1.78 0.33 1.38

9 0119 0748 1430 2029

0.42 1.86 0.26 1.44

10 0212 0839 1516 2115

0.38 1.90 0.22 1.49

11 0301 0926 1559 2200

14 0516 0.44 1131 1.68 1751 0.37

15 0002 0600 1209 1825

1.49 0.51 1.57 0.45

16 0042 0644 1246 1859

1.47 0.57 1.45 0.52

17 0123 0731 1328 1937

1.44 0.64 1.34 0.58

21 0509 1157 1749 2330

1.44 0.65 1.18 0.67

22 0607 1.51 1252 0.57 1846 1.24

23 0025 0656 1337 1932

0.62 1.58 0.49 1.31

24 0112 0740 1416 2013

0.56 1.66 0.41 1.38

28 0403 1024 1645 2252

0.34 1.82 0.24 1.64

Selamat sore Bondi.




5 0340 1006 1606 2212

1.56 0.56 1.32 0.51

0.36 1.90 0.22 1.51

12 0348 1010 1639 2243

0.36 1.86 0.25 1.52

18 0209 0828 1417 2023

1.42 0.69 1.25 0.64

19 0303 0933 1520 2120

1.40 0.71 1.18 0.68

25 0155 0820 1453 2051

0.49 1.74 0.33 1.46

26 0236 0900 1530 2130

0.42 1.80 0.28 1.53

• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter

a completely redesigned kitchen, which has doubled in size to allow an expanded summer menu that can be served quickly, even in peak season. It also features a stonefired pizza oven. The new Curlewis Bar flows through to the bistro and gallery and features a fresh summer cocktail list designed with a focus on seasonal ingredients and juices. It’s bloody delicious. We’ve introduced live music on a Sunday afternoon, and Friday and Saturday nights see resident DJs behind the decks. Are you looking to attract a new clientele? We’d like to broaden our clientele to include all the walks of life that make up Bondi - locals, tourists, backpackers, day-trippers, families looking for a meal after a day at the beach, or groups wanting to kick on with some beats after dinner.

You will be impressed.



otel Bondi has long held the reputation as the bar you head to after the Beach Road closes. It’s pretty much the only place in Bondi that’s allowed to serve booze after midnight. Given that things tend to get quite ‘interesting’ after the hour at which Cinderella’s stagecoach turns into a pumpkin, for most people the mere mention of Hotel Bondi brings about hazy memories of drunkenness, debauchery and disgracefulness. So when I ventured in to the newly refurbished Hotel Bondi last month for the first time in a long time (midnight is a big night when you’re the owner of a mixed pair of rug rats), I must admit I was quite surprised. The poker machines have been pushed out of the way, polished floorboards have been exposed 58 The Beast | February 2017

and a lick of white paint has really spruced the place up. The food offerings are targeting more discerning taste buds and it certainly feels like a more family-friendly affair. During the month I fired a few questions at management about the makeover… What inspired the freshen-up at the Hotel Bondi? The Maloney Hotel Group acquired the venue in late 2014. It became fairly obvious that Bondi as a suburb had moved on in recent years, with an eclectic mix of food and beverage options, but Hotel Bondi hadn’t. What changes have been made? The hotel’s interior has been upgraded to provide a light and airy feeling, synonymous with its iconic beachside location. There’s

Is the pub’s reputation as a dodgy late night venue a thing of the past? You know what they say about reputations? They’re easy to develop and impossible to lose! Venues should be all about the booze, food and tunes and we think we’ve got all areas covered. The pub looks good, has a great vibe and something to offer from 12pm to close. What are the highlights of your new menu? Food is now such a critical component of every pub. The vision for Hotel Bondi’s food offering is much like the suburb itself – fresh, seasonal and casual with a mix of ‘on trend’ ingredients treated simply and with respect. There are health conscious options that taste amazing. We also like to pay homage to the classics - any good pub bistro worth its salt has to have a great quality steak and a tasty parmi on the menu. Why should Eastern Beaches locals get down to Hotel Bondi? Most would have a Hotel Bondi story to tell; it’s nigh on time to develop a few more and reclaim Hotel Bondi as your local.

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like. What’s tough about being empty-handed is dealing with that competitive Valentine’s gift/card tally at your school or workplace. If you work in an office, you’ll know that on Valentine’s Day most of the ladies circle like wolves around any delivery of flowers. This level of competition and expectation can be very draining. I suggest that if you find yourself in such a situation, just cheat. Buy a generic, cheapo card and send it to yourself. When the office bitch sees it on your desk, say (nonchalantly), “Oh yes, I got one, but I’m not interested. It’s all commercial bullshit. I would have just thrown it away, but I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings...”

A conspiracy of florists and restaurants.



ho was Saint Valentine anyway? Google him and no one is quite sure if he even existed, but, somehow, celebrating him has become a multi-billion dollar industry promoting guilt and misery. There’s even a film about the whole awful nonsense - the 2009 release, ‘I Hate Valentine’s Day’. Hate it we may, but surveys suggest that we each spend an average of $119 on Valentine’s Day rubbish. I plan on spending $0, so that means some love-struck folk are forking out a lot more on overpriced roses and repackaged chocolates, whether they want to or not. Valentine’s Day can be depressing if you’re single, but if you’re in a relationship it can be even worse. Many a happy couple has run aground trying to make the day ‘special’. If Valentine’s Day seems as romantic to you as a trip to the 60 The Beast | February 2017

dentist, never fear: the Unreliable Guide is here to help… THE MYSTERY OF THE UNKNOWN SENDER The problem with receiving a card or gift from an unknown sender is that you have no idea of the intention behind it. Is it a real declaration of love, or is it a piss-take? If it is real, is it from that special someone or is it from that total idiot in accounts? Worst of all, it might be from your mum, sent in case you didn’t get a Valentine’s gift from anyone else. The uncertainty of the unknown sender provokes more angst than anything - except not getting a gift at all, of course. BE HAPPY ABOUT RECEIVING NOTHING Fact: it’s far better to receive nothing at all than something awful from someone you don’t

DON’T GET RIPPED OFF Feelings of inadequacy often lead people to overspend - just look at all those tiny bald men driving around in fancy cars. Valentine’s Day is a pressure pot of emotion and retailers know that. Florists, chocolatiers and restaurants shamelessly hike their prices at this time. Don’t spend more than you can afford. Quality time and a simple gift presented with love should be enough. If it’s not, you’re probably giving that love to the wrong person. THE VALENTINE’S DAY BREAK-UP EFFECT Relationship counsellors must rub their hands with glee when February comes around again. Valentine’s Day can bring about feelings of ‘do or die’, and ultimatums never help a relationship. She buys him a pink teddy bear with his name embroidered on it, he buys her nothing, and both suddenly realise that they are with completely the ‘wrong person’. Finally, the Unreliable Guide suggests that if the above has put you off roses and chocolates forever, just make yourself an anti-Valentine’s Day safe space. Invite some like-minded friends, count your blessings and, if needs be, Google ‘Valentine’s Day Massacre’. I guarantee you will feel better.



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February 2017 | The Beast 61

sustainability; this is about discovering how, when and where food is grown. Skills such as cooking, shopping right and gardening can improve health and reduce waste.

This lady talks sense.

ON HEALTH AND SUSTAINABILITY: AN INTERVIEW WITH ROSEMARY STANTON Words Asha Kayla - Sustainable Communities Manager, Waverley Council


recently caught up with one of Australia’s best-known gurus on nutrition. With over 50 years’ experience, 32 books and over 3000 articles to her name, Rosemary Stanton knows a thing or two about clean living for your body and our planet. Here are some of her expert insights… WHAT CHANGES HAVE YOU NOTICED ABOUT FOOD OVER THE COURSE OF YOUR CAREER? Unfortunately, we’ve changed our eating habits for the worse. The biggest changes are the way we eat, how often and what we eat. Food is now available everywhere, in places it previously wasn’t, such as service stations. We no longer eat at the table. Instead we now often eat in front of the screen, and our rushed lifestyles mean we often don’t even eat from a plate. There has also been a huge increase in junk food consumption. 62 The Beast | February 2017

Vegetables are being crowded out - only four per cent of Australians eat the minimum recommended amount of vegetables. Packet snacks also crowd out fruit. WHAT HAS SHOCKED YOU MOST? We use up a huge amount of fertile land, energy, fertilisers and water to produce junk food that makes people fat! WHAT ARE THE KEY LINKAGES BETWEEN HEALTH AND SUSTAINABILITY? In a nutshell, a sustainable diet involves more plant-based food, less packaging and much less food waste. Up to 25 per cent of greenhouse gases come from the production of what we eat and drink. 40 per cent of household waste is made up of food, which is bad because it generates methane - the most powerful greenhouse gas. Food knowledge is imperative to

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE SOLUTIONS? We need more school, community and home/ balcony gardens, as well as fruit or nut street trees and verge gardens. They simultaneously tackle climate change, better food knowledge and health. Access to gardens increases children’s willingness to eat more vegetables and school kitchen gardens improve acceptance and enhance cooking skills in primary school children. Eating dinner at the table is also very important for all. It has a positive impact on a child’s development as it’s where they learn to share. It also helps develop language skills through table conversation, which you won’t get in front of the screen. Composting and worm farms are also solutions for food waste. WHAT IMPACT IS PACKAGING HAVING ON US AND OUR ENVIRONMENT? Packaging is a huge issue with 65 per cent of all packaging coming from food and drink items. This is usually for packaged snacks, fast food and soft drinks, which are all bad for our health. Packaging makes up 72 per cent of litter, and ends up in our waterways and in landfill. Unfortunately for coastal areas, a lot of the packaging, plastic bags and bottles end up in the ocean too, destroying our local environment. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP THREE TIPS FOR WHAT WE CAN DO TO REDUCE WASTE AND IMPROVE OUR HEALTH? Eat fresh unprocessed produce, reserve junk food for occasional use, and use and grow food in gardens. Waverley Council provides water fountains to reduce plastic bottles, and supports verge and community gardens. Head to for locations and more information.

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Para, para, paradise...



he Solomon Islands is an archipelago of 922 islands in the southern Pacific Ocean, northeast of Australia between Papua New Guinea and Vanuatu. One of these islands is Tavanipupu, located off the southeast coast of Guadalcanal between Towara'o Island and Marapa Island in Marua Sound. The name Tavanipupu was enough for my ears to prick up - translated to English it actually means ‘passage of the trigger fish’. It is less than three hours flying time from Sydney to Honiara, the capital of the Solomon Islands, so when we arrived we were still feeling relatively fresh. From Honiara we were transported by boat to the Tavanipupu Island Resort, which was a great experience and took a few hours, giving us the opportunity to see many of the uninhabited islands on the way. You can also opt to fly and be in nirvana seamlessly in 20 minutes. The resort is situated on 13 luscious palm-filled hectares and is surrounded by coral reefs the colour of a digitally enhanced travel brochure photo. We disembarked from our boat onto a pier that juts out about 100 metres over the aquamarine water below. We didn’t know where to look as electric blue and multi-coloured

64 The Beast | February 2017

parrotfish fought for our attention. Minutes later we were shown our deluxe bungalow. There are just 11 bungalows on the island, each of which falls into one of three different classes - family, deluxe or island bungalows - plus a 'royal' bungalow. They are all freestanding, spacious and luxurious. By now it was quite clear to me why the world’s most loved royal couple, Prince William and Princess Kate, chose to stay a night here when they were on their last Southern Hemisphere tour. And it’s no surprise that nine months after their magical stay a royal son arrived. I wish I was a young gecko on the ceiling that night. Hours later, after some island exploring, swimming and snorkelling in fish-filled coral gardens only metres offshore, we gorged on a superb lunch of freshly caught seafood, which included an abundance of lobster and locally grown produce. After lunch, strategically placed hammocks outside our bungalows beckoned us over for a blissful nap with only the gentle sounds of coconut leaves fluttering in the balmy breeze to distract us. The island can only accommodate up to 32 guests. It’s the ideal island for romantic getaways, singles’

sojourns, family fun, or getting away with a group of your mates. With so many Australians getting married offshore, and given that the Solomons is so close to home, it’s the perfect location to get hitched. Conveniently, the entire island can be booked for such an occasion. It’s not only weddings that they’re happy to host either. Any special occasions can be arranged. Tavanipupu would undoubtedly be an epic island for a company to bring its staff for a conference or team building exercise (or maybe even the next Beast Christmas party). Like most Pacific Islands, the local staff - with their infectious smiles, innocence and bare feet - ensure your stay is one long remembered. Only a small number of staff live on the island, so at the end of day or late into the night the non-resident workers get into their traditional dugout canoes and paddle to their nearby island homes. In terms of recreational activites, everything from snorkelling to kayaking, stand up paddling to island hopping, and even offshore angling in seas festooned with fish (they’re literally fighting each other for your bait) is available to resort guests. If you love surfing you’re in luck too, as there are no crowds and the surf is sensational (well it was for me, at least). The waves generally come in at the one to one and a half metre range, perfectly offshore, and the water is crystal clear. And did I mention there are no crowds? From Tavanipupu you can actually see the waves breaking on numerous reefs in the distance, and they can only be accessed by guests of the island. Of course, recreational activities aren’t compulsory. You can happily choose to do nothing but relax and sip cocktails at one the gorgeous overwater bars while the sun turns on another memorable display. The word paradise is used too loosely these days, but that's exactly what this secluded Solomon Island was. There’s simply no other way to describe it. How To Book Solomon Islands Information


HOW TO IMPROVE SEXUAL CONFIDENCE Words Matty Silver, Sex Therapist Picture Peter North


he most important issue that affects our sexual satisfaction is sexual confidence. It’s easy to imagine that most people are sexually confident; why wouldn’t they be? After all, the media is always publishing stories about celebrities and other famous people talking about their sexual lives and exploits. We often assume that our friends, colleagues and other people we know are doing fine. The blossoming new relationships we notice around us are probably wonderful. When we look at the bravado of the stereotypical Aussie male, we hear boastful dialogue about their prowess, ability and durability. But is it always true? How sexually confident are we, really? And how willing are we to discuss our insecurities regarding the way we feel about our selves and our bodies? Confidence regarding our sex life can be corroded by previous difficult relationships and partners who have given us judgemental messages based on their own insecurities, and a vicious cycle can start.

66 The Beast | February 2017

It's a myth that women tend to be less sexually confident than men; they lack confidence in different areas. They often worry about body image, which can be a real issue, and some feel as though they’re not able to ask their partner for what they sexually want. Men are often just as insecure about their bodies as women are, but they tend to worry more about size and performance. Their body must always be able to perform otherwise sex will be a disaster. Sexual confidence starts with ‘liking’ yourself. If you accept how you look you will be more confident with a partner. It isn't something you need a partner to give to you or validate in you. In fact, if you're focusing too much on your partner, that can be a big distraction and erode your sexual confidence. Sexual confidence can be learnt, but it often depends on how confident we are in general. In my practice I often see people who are confident in most areas of their lives, but within the relationship with their partners they often have

problems with intimacy and/or sexual performance. Some of the main issues that come up include a lack of the skills to communicate about sexual issues due to embarrassment, low sexual self-esteem, and sometimes fear to talk about sex. For both men and women, performance anxiety due to lack of sex education, and psychological issues due to background and or upbringing, also come into play. If sexual confidence is not explored enough it can become a stumbling block, therefore good sexual education is essential. If you feel comfortable with yourself, you can get to know your sexual self. Sometimes it only takes some expert advice to overcome problems. There are many ways to become sexually educated, whether it’s online, in a book, or through a professional. Laughter is a powerful tool in the bedroom, too. It affects sexual desire and a person’s ability to laugh in a sexual context can significantly relate to higher sexual desire. My mantra is always: ‘sex should be fun’.

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One hundred and eighty!” If you’ve ever watched a professional darts contest, I’d wager good money that there’s only one way you could have read that - with the wild hysteria of someone who loves their bar-sports. And why not? Everything is so serious and horrifying these days. Watching chubby men competitively throw darts in the Premier League, which kicks off this month, makes about as much sense as anything. The incongruity of these plump men in pubs suddenly being thrust into the spotlight certainly has a romance to it. They have long been the bedrock of professional sports, but only as spectators. Drinking themselves to a slow death, all in the name of love for a bunch of athletes who really don’t care for them, but begrudgingly admit that they need these sad, fat men to load up their obscene pay packets. In professional darts, however, these men become the heroes. Where are the women, though? If ever a sport lent itself to gender

68 The Beast | February 2017

equality, in terms of the required attributes to compete, darts would be it. It requires no outstanding physical prowess, just good eyesight and the ability to stand on two feet, and in this way darts is a beacon for all of us well past our sporting prime. Not that I’m suggesting women are the equivalent of men past their best, just that the old argument of men naturally being quicker and stronger, and therefore better to watch, holds no sway in darts. Darts lets us all dream that perhaps we still can be professional sportspeople. Fitness and fast reflexes are irrelevant, so (for once) being youthful isn’t necessarily an advantage. In fact, being old, desperate and hopeless is the real advantage. Who else would be willing to spend the required hours perfecting the art form, camped out in dark, seedy pubs that smell like the naked old drunks who routinely pass out in their every corner? If you’re doing that at 25, you really need to start making better life choices.

There is a good chance, however, that even those of us who are past our physical peak aren’t going to jump at that opportunity. Thus, we must assuage ourselves with watching these epic battles, which inevitably bubble with tension, from the comfort of our lounges. One could even go to watch them live, but that is a dangerous choice in itself. The live events appear incredible affairs. Debaucherous, even. Dressing up like a Tellytubby and getting hammered at a competitive game of darts is not a decision to be made lightly. You need to embark on some deep soul-searching before you make that sort of commitment. It might just be safer to load up on the chips and dip and watch the bouts from home. I warn you, though, if you do happen to get sucked in it can be very hard to turn away - near impossible, in fact, if Simon ‘The Wizard’ Whitlock is launching a stirring comeback from two sets down.

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Noisy, irreverent, but bloody catchy rock’n’roll.



ion Island are a home-grown hard rock band from the Central Coast, featuring Rob Staines (guitar and vocals), Bob Trigg (drums), Arran Pratt (bass) and a bit of Eastern Suburbs flavour in the form of Johannes Leak (rhythm guitar) thrown in for good measure. Bringing back the fuzzy guitars and crunching riffs of 80s and 90s indie rock, and drawing on punk, grunge and alternative rock influences, they stamp their sound with an unpretentious and quintessentially Australian feel. Lion Island are currently putting the finishing touches on their debut album, which should be released in early 2017. The Beast caught up with Johannes during the month… If I had to describe our sound in one sentence… I’d say it’s like that classic Aussie surf movie sound from the 80s and 90s. My first memory of music is… piano lessons with my grandma.

72 The Beast | February 2017

Growing up my parents listened to… everything from jazz to classical to heavy rock - Tom Waits, Randy Newman, Joe Jackson, Midnight Oil, Paul Kelly. Everything but Top 40 pop, really. Our dream gig... would be playing the Bondi Astra in the late 70s sandwiched between The Saints and Radio Birdman. If you come to see us play, you can expect... noisy, irreverent and catchy rock’n’roll. There was one time when we were starting out... that we came on after a band of cute young guys playing to a room full of their cute young female fans and we managed to clear the room during our first song. If we could have chosen one song to have written it would have to be... 'Gangnam Style', because we’d all be loaded.

Our favourite song to perform would have to be... 'Girlfriend’s Dead'. The best thing about the local music scene is… those venues on the Central Coast and in Newcastle and Sydney that still like to give noisy rock bands a gig. One person we’d really like to record with is… Steve Albini. If he wanted to work with us we’d consider it. Our biggest fan has got be… my old man. We’ll know we have made it when... we need to employ a band shrink like Phil in the Metallica documentary. To find out more about Lion Island, please visit www.facebook. com/lionislandband or check out @lion.island on Instagram.

ALBUM #1 Artist Brian Eno Album Reflection (Excerpt) Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Who is Brian Eno? Who am I? Why are we here? Why did I just listen to a yoga class soundtrack for The Beast? This album throws up some big questions and I don’t have the faculties to answer them. The biggest, perhaps, is why did I enjoy it so much? I slipped into a mildly meditative state while listening, and deep thoughts fluttered like butterflies through my mind – a nice change from the usual depraved nonsense. Interestingly, Eno wrote this with the aid of a computer algorithm, which terrifies me. I fear this album could be the catalyst for the complete destruction of humankind - strange that it’s so peaceful, then.


MOVIE REVIEW TITLE Moonlight GENRE Drama REVIEWER Linda Heller-Salvador Screenwriter/director Barry Jenkins (Medicine for Melancholy) has lovingly adapted Tarell Alvin McCraney’s powerful coming-of-age text, In Moonlight Black Boys Look Blue, and in so doing has created a sincere yet confronting film that takes us into the uncertain world of Chiron, a young black boy who is striving to find himself and love as he navigates his way from adolescence to adulthood. From the opening scene of Moonlight you can tell that Chiron (Alex Hibbert, Ashton Sanders, Trevante Rhodes), a shy and sensitive 10-year-old, is in for a rough journey. His mother (Naomie Harris) is a junkie who is emotionally abusive, he is constantly bullied at school, and his father is nowhere in sight. Alienated and without a father figure, he strikes up an unlikely relationship with Juan (Mahershala Ali), a local drug dealer, who shows him some much needed kindness. Moonlight draws us in with deep, emotional performances that are enhanced by James Laxton’s beautiful cinematography and Nicholas Britell’s soulful music score. It is a powerful and enduring story of self-discovery like no other, and another great example of how – in the hands of a skilful director - the use of subtle glances or a gesture can convey more than a spoken word. 74 The Beast | February 2017

Artist Little Simz Album Stillness in Wonderland Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  Britain may be spiralling into complete chaos, but at least they’re producing some brilliant R&B at the moment. It usually comes in one of two packages: either frantic grime rap that kicks you straight in the face, or smoky, seductive, low-key musings. Little Simz falls into the latter category, and her lyrical mastery and sultry beats are pure pleasure to my furry ears. Okay, ‘lyrical mastery’ might be a bit of a stretch, but she’s good. It kind of reminds me of Kendrick Lamar’s early work, which, as anyone who has been on the cans with me in my lounge room at 3am will attest, is high praise indeed.

ALBUM #3 Artist Run the Jewels Album Run the Jewels 3 Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  This flows like a river after a week of heavy rain. Relentless, dangerous and hypnotising, you know you probably shouldn’t jump in, but there is every chance you still will. I have yet to get on board the Run the Jewels Express, but after listening to this I’m now waiting in line at the ticket booth seriously considering making a purchase. It still hasn’t quite clicked for me, but I know it could happen at any time and I best be prepared. If you like your hip-hop brash, obscene and political, it is more than likely that you’ll be down with this.

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Madeleine Gray Picture Erik Janousek EIGHTY YEARS WITH A BRUSH Bondi Pavilion Gallery presents a retrospective exhibition of the work of local artist and teacher Effim Novak, a celebrated Russian painter who now gives tuition to students from across the Eastern Beaches area. Having painted since he was a young child, Effim went on to study Decorative Arts at the Moscow State University, served as a pilot in World War 2 and boasts an extensive career as an industrial designer; but painting has been the constant throughout his life. This exhibition places artworks from across Effim’s extensive career alongside his most recent paintings, showcasing a range of landscape, still life and figurative paintings. It’s on at Bondi Pavilion Gallery from January 30 to February 11. SUCH A DAD JOKE Long time Bondi local Swiv (Mark Swivel) is back with his new show, ‘Dad. Joke.’. He’s coming out of the brine with the truth on how to make a fortune and live a life of love. Have a laugh as Swiv gives a rousing, ridiculous how-not-to guide on parenting and politics in our arguably-a-bit-mad world. Simone Whetton from 702 ABC

High voltage.

Radio called it "vulnerable, excoriating and hilarious in one loveable mixture". ‘Dad.Joke.’ is on at the Bondi Pavilion Theatre on February 10 at 7:30pm. Tickets are $20 and you can purchase yours from BONDI BEACH RADIO WINS AWARD Congratulations to Bondi Beach Radio, which has been recognised as one of five nominated stations in the Mixcloud Online Radio Awards for Best Online Radio Station (Asia Pacific/Middle East & Africa), one of only two Australian stations to feature in the global awards. The nominations and winners are chosen by a panel of industry judges, and huge names in radio feature across the list including the likes of NPR’s This American Life, TED Radio Hour, and Reply All on Gimlet Media, as well as personalities like Sarah Koenig from the podcast sensation Serial. Excellent work, legends! QUEERSTORIES AT GIANT DWARF Following several sold-out events in 2016, Queerstories, Maeve Marsden’s LGBTQI storytelling project, will run monthly in 2017,

with support from the City of Sydney. Launching on February 3, Queerstories will bring a diverse line-up to Redfern comedy venue Giant Dwarf. The opening night will feature iconic queer DJ Sveta Gilerman, award-winning writer Benjamin Law, artist and activist Simon Hunt (a.k.a. Pauline Pantsdown), disability and queer rights activist Jax Jacki Brown, and writer, podcaster, musician and proud transwoman Liz DuckChong. It looks bloody fabulous. Visit to book yourself a spot. GABRIEL CALLS THE SHOTS Art2Muse Gallery in Double Bay will be presenting a major solo exhibition from Gabriel Scanu, a young artist who is taking Instagram by storm with his innovative use of aerial photography. Gabriel will be making limited edition images available for sale for the first time, carving out new territory in landscape photography with his bold images of iconic beaches and coastlines. The launch event is on February 9 from 6pm to 8pm and the exhibition will run from February 7 to 20. Art2Muse Gallery is at 357 New South Head Road, Double Bay.

You will like these two.

ROCK ON AT BONDITONY’S BURGER JOINT Words Dining Dave Instagram @diningdave Picture Dan Hutton


hoa! What an experience! Can a burger joint actually be a cool place to spend a Friday night? It sure can, if you leave it up to Bondi Tony (a.k.a. Tony Gosden). When it opened on June 17, 2015 (Tony has a tattoo on his arm to remind him of the date) BondiTony’s was expected to be 70 per cent bar and 30 per cent food, but it didn’t take long to flip that the other way round. Now pumping out literally hundreds of burgers a week, BondiTony’s has hit like a storm. This ain’t no run-of-the-mill burger spot, and the reason for that is it’s an extension of Tony’s persona, which is intense. Previously a music promoter and manager for local bands, Tony has formed BondiTony’s as a shout out 76 The Beast | February 2017

to the rock’n’roll lifestyle. With platinum records on the walls, and graffiti, local art, books and various collectibles throughout, it’s meant to feel like hanging out in Tony’s living room. There’s good music, too, of course. Inside there are only high-top tables for you to woof your burger down on. Outside is probably the better spot to be due to its prime location for people watching (or being watched). Taking up the whole southeast corner of Glenayr Avenue and Roscoe Street, the throngs of punters inside and out make BondiTony’s easy to find. My four companions and I arrived on a Friday night and were greeted by Alexi, one of Tony’s attentive and cheery servers, who sat us at the prime location on the corner.

BondiTony’s keeps to a compact menu; there are only five burgers to choose from, most of which are named after local bands that Tony promoted and managed in his previous career. To warm up, Tony started us off with two portions of his sticky chicken wings, honey mustard and BBQ mustard, along with an order of onion rings. Everything is prepared in-house with fresh ingredients and it shows. The burgers are the stars though, all of which are made with either free-range or grass-fed protein, and freshly baked soft, chewy buns. We went for three Classic Cogs (straight up beef cheeseburgers with BBQ chutney and tomato relish), a Trippin Zeahorse (beef cheeseburger with free range bacon, tomato relish and seeded mustard aioli) and a Just a Jezabel (crumbed free-range chicken breast burger marinated in honey soy ginger, with coleslaw and guacamole). All burgers come with fries as standard, but we twice upgraded to the sweet potato variety, which gave us the best of both worlds. The burgers are simply awesome, and quite big, so be hungry when you head in. The drinks flow freely at Bonditony’s, so plan to be there for a while and expect to book an Uber afterwards. Due to enthusiastic demand, Tony opened BondiTony’s Other Burger Joint in December a bit further down Glenayr Avenue at the Seven Ways, which now handles all the takeaway and delivery orders. Based on my first experience, I expect Bonditony’s Burger Joint to be rockin’ Bondi for a good while to come. BondiTony’s Burger Joint Address 1/144-148 Glenayr Ave, Bondi Beach Phone 0410 893 003 Instagram @bonditonysburgerjoint Website Open 7 days, midday till late Price $20pp Cards Accepted All major Licensed Yes

The great man.

MOUNT PLEASANT AND MAURICE O’SHEA – AUSTRALIA’S FIRST GREAT WINEMAKER Words Alex Russell Instagram @ozwineguy Picture Max Dupain


ount Pleasant was established in the Hunter Valley in 1921 by Australia’s first great winemaker, Maurice O’Shea. Australian wine at the time was all about fortifieds (e.g. port, sherry), but Maurice had spent time in France and had seen what table wines could be. Maurice’s story is incredible, and I can’t do it justice in 500 words. Fortunately, a much better wine writer (Campbell Mattinson) wrote an incredible book about him called ‘The Wine Hunter’. You can get it in paperback or as an eBook. If you need a gift for a wine lover, get this and a bottle of wine for them to drink while reading it. Mount Pleasant makes a broad range of wines, including an interesting blend of Shiraz and Pinot Noir (the ‘Mount Henry’). You’ll also find a wide range of grapes in the ‘Family Collection Range’, including Sauvignon Blanc, Verdelho and various other bits. That said, Mount Pleasant, like most Hunter wineries, is all about Semillon and Shiraz. The Semillons start with the

‘Elizabeth’. While it’s sometimes around the $25 mark (and well worth it), you can often find this on special at around $17. It’s a bargain. Then there’s the flagship ‘Lovedale’ Semillon. Generally around $50-60, this is usually released with some cellar age. Don’t think of this as big brother of ‘Elizabeth’; think of it as one of Australia’s best white wines. $60 for this is sensational value. The Shirazes start with the $25 (approximately) ‘Philip’ Shiraz, which is a lovely drop. It’s mediumbodied and ready to be drunk in its youth, but it’ll cellar for a bit too. It really is a great entry into Hunter Shiraz. You then move into the ‘Old Paddock & Old Hill’ and ‘Rosehill’ Shirazes (both around $50 or so), and from there you move up into the special wines. There are two particularly interesting ranges among these special wines. The first is the ‘Mountain’ range. These are special expressions of what Mount Pleasant can do. ‘Mountain A’ is medium-bodied, ‘Mountain D’ (my father-inlaw’s favourite) is full-bodied, and

‘Mountain C’ is light-bodied. The 2014 ‘Mountain C’ in particular has been making waves in the wine world, but all are stunning. As of 2013 and 2014, Mount Pleasant has also been bottling special ‘Block’ wines. These are wines made from vines that were planted in particular years, some of which were plantings made by Maurice himself. The ‘Lovedale’ Semillon has a special ‘1946 Vines’ version in this range, and the ‘Rosehill’ Shiraz has both a ‘1946 Vines’ and ‘1965 Vines’ version. There is also a ‘1921 Vines Old Paddock Vineyard’ Shiraz – the year in which Maurice established Mount Pleasant. Finally, there is the extra special ‘Maurice O’Shea’ Shiraz. This is made of the best parcels of Hunter Shiraz available to Mount Pleasant each year. Sure, it can be expensive (up to $180 a bottle), but think of it like this: 2014 Hunter, the vintage of a lifetime, 99 points from Halliday, a wine that will potentially cellar for a lifetime. If you can afford it, buy it. Maurice would be proud. February 2017 | The Beast 77

6. Place peaches in a bowl and toss with olive oil. 7. Grill the peaches on the heat for approximately 2 minutes on each side. 8. On a serving plate, arrange half the water cress leaves, followed by half the peaches and repeat. 9. Drizzle with lemon juice, maple syrup and balsamic, then season with sea salt and pepper. 10. Remove lamb from oven and set aside, covered, to rest for 5 minutes. Wholesome goodness.



ou can’t beat good wholesome food shared with great mates, and this meal will bring all that to life in no time. Making the most of summer stone fruits, which are at our fingertips for only a little longer, and combining them with the most delicious spiced lamb, pomegranate and feta is where it’s at for nutrition, flavour and feeling the summer vibes. This recipe is gluten-free and refined sugar-free too, so you can happily indulge without that guilty feeling.

PEACH SALAD 4 yellow peaches, halved and stones removed 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 2 cups watercress leaves, stems intact Juice of 1/2 lemon 1 tbsp maple syrup (optional) 2 tsp balsamic vinegar Sea salt Ground black pepper

INGREDIENTS This recipe serves 4

2. Combine cumin and coriander and rub the mixture into the lamb racks.

SPICED LAMB CUTLETS 2 racks of lamb, approx. 800g-1kg 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 1 tbsp ground cumin 1 tbsp ground coriander 100g Danish feta Arils of 1/2 a pomegranate 1 small spanish onion, finely sliced 1/4 bunch coriander, roots removed, stalks and leaves kept intact Sea salt Black pepper 78 The Beast | February 2017

METHOD 1. Preheat oven to 220C.

3. Heat an oven-proof grill plate or fry pan on medium heat, add olive oil to coat the pan and the sear lamb racks, turning occasionally for about 5 minutes to sear off the outer fat. 4. Place in oven to cook for 10-12 minutes for medium rare. 5. While the lamb is in the oven, preheat a grill plate or barbecue to medium high.

11. Once meat is rested, slice and serve tossed with spanish onion, feta, pomegranate and coriander. *If you don’t have an oven-proof grill plate or fry pan, line a roasting tray with greaseproof paper. Bondi local Jacqueline Alwill is a qualified, practicing nutritionist, personal trainer, whole foods cook and, most importantly, mother to Jet. She is committed to improving the health, wellbeing and happiness of all individuals. In her first cookbook, Seasons to Share, Jacqueline has brought together a delightful collection of beautiful seasonal wholefoods recipes for all occasions. Seasons to Share (Murdoch Books) is available now in all good bookstores and online.

The taste of summer.

COCONUT MANGO POPSICLES Words and Picture Tamika Woods


ummer is well and truly in full swing, which means a seemingly endless supply of delicious, plump mangoes. If, like me, you have found yourself with a rapidly ripening box of mangoes that you just can’t get through fast enough, throw together a super simple batch of these coconut mango popsicles. Delightfully summery, these popsicles ask for no more than five minutes of your afternoon – just throw the ingredients into a blender, pour into popsicle moulds, place paddle pop sticks inside and freeze overnight. If you don’t own paddle pop moulds, small disposable plastic cups work well. Simply fill with the liquid, place a paddle pop stick in the centre and make sure they stay upright in the freezer. When you’re ready to serve just squeeze the plastic to release the popsicle, or if this fails gently cut down the side of the cup.

These popsicles are inspired by fond memories of mango Weiss bars, but reimagined in this dairy and refined sugar free recipe, meaning that they are now healthy (and delicious) enough to eat every day of summer! INGREDIENTS 3 ripe mangoes 1 ripe banana (or substitute with more mango) 3/4 cup coconut cream 1.5 tsp salt 1/2 cup desiccated coconut 1/2 cup coconut flakes 1/4 cup maple syrup/sweetener of your choice, if needed EQUIPMENT Ice pop moulds Paddle pop sticks METHOD 1. Peel mangoes and remove seeds. 2. Add mango flesh and all

remaining ingredients to a high strength food processor and blend until smooth. 3. Pour into moulds and place a paddle pop stick in the centre of each mould, around three quarters of the way down. 4. Place moulds in the freezer for at least six hours or overnight, then remove from the moulds and enjoy your summery treat! Tamika Woods is a Bondi-based Nutritional and Dietetic Medicine student and recipe maker. She is the founder of Sproutly Stories, a health food website designed to encourage spending more time in the kitchen. Her wholesome recipe ideas inspire others to enjoy real food that is conveniently healthy. For more guilt-free recipes, check out February 2017 | The Beast 79

















2. Flying dinosaurs (12) 3. To Kill a Mockingbird character, … Finch (7) 4. Actor from Fight Club, American History X and Primal Fear (2,6) 5. Board game, Settlers of … (5) 6. King Arthur’s close friend (8) 9. To put someone or something at risk (8) 12. A useful or valuable thing or person (5) 13. Between the ankle and the knee (4) 14. Seed casing DOWN 1. Having a neg- (3) ative reaction to 16. Make a false a substance (8) statement (3) ACROSS 1. Arranged in the customary order of the letters of a language (12) 7. Forrest Gump character, … Dan (10) 8. Something that happens again (12) 10. Escapes secretly (8) 11. Ozone layer destroying compound (1,1,1) 12. In, on, or near (2) 14. Occupation that focuses on the mind (12) 16. Break down into small pieces (12)

TRIVIAL TRIVIA Words Madeleine Gray Picture Georgia McCarthy Instagram @georgialeya 1. True or false: Harald III of Norway was defeated by Duke William of Normandy at the Battle of Hastings? 2. How many semiquavers in a minim? 3. What sport did Margaret Court play? 4. What 1990s cult mystery

Another day dawns. 80 The Beast | February 2017

television show is being revived more than 25 years after its finale aired? 5. Which Australian Prime Minister has a daughter named Daisy? 6. In which Australian state/ territory would you find the Olgas (Kata Tjuta)?

7. What is the chemical symbol for lead? 8. What sort of animal is a pipistrelle? 9. Which actress recently won the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Golden Globes? 10. Which bus would you catch from Rozelle to Bronte Beach?

ARIES MAR 21-APR 20 Blow every cent of your income on fun stuff like coke and hookers because the chances of you buying a house around here are zero.

VIRGO AUG 24-SEP 23 Setting a backpackers' van on fire and burning its inhabitants alive is perfectly acceptable if it's taking up a car park in your street.

TAURUS APR 21-MAY 20 Splashing water onto your bumhole is an inadequate substitute for dunny roll; use your left hand or your partner's bath towel instead.

LIBRA SEP 24-OCT 23 There is no better way to increase self-awareness and build confidence than masturbating in front of the mirror.

GEMINI MAY 21-JUN 21 Rather than actually doing anything, talk about all the things you're going to do and then whinge when someone 'steals' your ideas.

SCORPIO OCT 24-NOV 22 The only way you're going to get your rig in reasonable shape before the end of summer is by ingesting parasitic worms.

AQUARIUS JAN 21-FEB 19 Talk over people aggressively so that they are forced to listen to you and benefit from the opportunity to learn from your brilliance.

CANCER JUN 22-JUL 23 Don't give your money away to charity because then you will have less money to spend on nice things for yourself.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 23-DEC 22 Before tying the knot, consider the likelihood that your marriage will not only destroy your life, but the lives of those around you.

PISCES FEB 20-MAR 20 If you're going to cheat on your partner, be sure to tarp up or get to the doc early so you don't have any unnecessary explaining to do.

LEO JUL 24-AUG 23 Pretend to be interested in other people in order to gain their trust and manipulate them for your own benefit at a later date.

CAPRICORN DEC 23-JAN 20 Quit your job and move up north. You might not be able to find work, but at least it's warm enough to sleep under a tree for most of the year.

STAR SIGNS Words Beardy from Hell

TRIVIAL TRIVIA SOLUTIONS 1. False 2. Four 3. Tennis 4. Twin Peaks 5. Malcolm Turnbull 6. Northern Territory 7. Pb 8. A bat 9. Meryl Streep 10. The 440 1




L 7
















O 16

82 The Beast | February 2017


































O 12


















N 13










T 14


D 10








E 8








Open Now 300 Campbell Parade North Bondi (Just opposite North Bondi Bus Interchange)


The Beast - February 2017  

The February 2017 edition of The Beast featuring Corbin Harris...

The Beast - February 2017  

The February 2017 edition of The Beast featuring Corbin Harris...