Au g u s t 2019
BROOKE BONEY W E N E E D T O TA L K
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Welcome to August 2019... Words Dan & James Hutton, Publishers Welcome to the August 2019 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s beautiful Beaches of the East. Local journalist and Today entertainment reporter Brooke Boney graces this month’s cover. We’ve wanted to interview Brooke ever since her controversial Australia Day comments back in January. There was quite a hoo-ha in response after Brooke pointed out some obvious truths surrounding January 26 - inconvenient truths that seem to make a lot of people quite uncomfortable. It’s an extensive interview and Brooke is a very erudite and articulate woman with plenty of interesting insights to offer. The big events this month are the annual SMH City2Surf
on August 11, which marks the unofficial end of winter, and the Taste of Coogee festival, which will be held at Coogee Oval on the weekend of August 31 and September 1. Taste of Coogee has quickly grown to become one of the biggest events on the local calendar and this year’s promises to be the best yet. For more information on the festival and to book tickets, please visit www.coogee.info. Hopefully when this edition of The Beast comes out we’re not at war with Iran. Although theocracies aren’t really our preferred type of political system there’s nothing to be gained from getting involved in yet another one of America’s stupid conflicts. Happy reading, Beasts!
The Beast The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editors email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org Advertising Enquiries email@example.com www.thebeast.com.au/ advertise Circulation 61,000 copies are delivered every month; 56,000 are placed in mailboxes and 5,000 in local shops. PEFC Certified The Beast uses paper from sustainably managed forests. Letters To The Editor Please send your feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org and include your name and the suburb you live in.
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6 The Beast August 2019
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CONTENTS August 201 9 Issue 175
6 7 8 10 14 16 18 30
Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Local Chick Thumbs Local News Enviro News
32 34 35 36 52 53 54 56
Satire Calendar Local Tradies Interview Unreliable Guide Tide Chart Headnoise Marj's Musings
Summery scenes, by Hannah Sager @hannahsager.
57 60 61 62 64 65 66 66
Sporting Life Recipe Food Review Local Photos Reviews Brainteasers Beardy From Hell Trivia Solutions
toast or a mushroom omelette. It does not mean being unable to afford to eat your way through the Good Food Guide. 2. Ditch the $150,000 Range Rover and purchase a smaller car. With the food deprivation you claim, your once overfed kiddies will slip easily into the rear of a Corolla now that they are no longer tucking into a takeaway hot chocolate and croissant purchased during the harried school run. Replacing the soy macchiato with a jar of Moccona means no more double parking and therefore no more parking tickets!
Reassess your bourgeois status.
Money Saving Tips for the Struggling Middle Class Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Steve Knutson @sknutson There’s always a new food bandwagon for the middle class to jump upon - paleo, keto, gluten-free, lactose-free and vegan, just to name a few - but the latest trend to hit the middle class streets is way more bizarre than chickenless nuggets. The latest trend is ‘food insecurity’. Food insecurity, defined by the United Nations as “an unreliable access to food” is a serious issue that I would not normally satirise. Food insecurity among the homeless, the aged, Centrelink recipients and Indigenous communities is something I care about. Food insecurity among the affluent middle class? Not so much. When I’m hearing that the issue of putting food on the table is increasingly becoming a middle class problem, I’m feeling that it’s more of a lifestyle choice - pay the $2 mil8 The Beast August 2019
lion mortgage and maintain the lease on the Porsche Macan or put food on the table? I’m hedging the middle class will opt for the former every time. However, I do care enough about middle class food insecurity to offer some advice. If you are middle class and suffer from food insecurity then you are living beyond your substantial income, and this is where semiretired accountant Pearl is here to help with her money saving tips (or ‘minimalist living tips’, for those sensitive to their social position in life). 1. Let’s begin by clearly defining ‘food insecurity’. No longer being able to afford a café breakfast or Uber-delivered gourmet meals does not constitute food insecurity. Food insecurity means that you cannot afford to prepare a meal of beans on
3. Speaking of kiddies, maybe reconsider the size of your family. Do you really need that third or fourth child? If you cannot afford to feed your existing children, who require organic food, designer clothing, private schooling, tutoring, sports training and transportation in a Mercedes van, perhaps one should consider the snip. 4. Downgrade your iPhone to a $19 prepaid Telstra Lite, a tiny phone with an extra bonus - it’s too small to balance on one’s shoulder to talk or FaceTime while driving, saving Sydney’s roads from yet another self-absorbed yummy mummy accident waiting to happen. 5. Injectables, renovations, skiing holidays, yoga/pilates, private schools... ditch all those luxury ‘things’ that workingclass people can’t afford. Finally, think about reassessing your bourgeois status. If you are truly food insecure on a combined income of $200,000, perhaps you are truly workingclass and belong to a world of cheaper mortgages, Kmart, Nescafé Blend 43, Hyundais and Central Coast holidays.
Sundays are all about families at the SCG Welcome to Family Friendly Sundays at the SCG where footy favourite food and drink prices have been slashed to less than $5.
Hotdog, Meat Pie or Hot Chips
The SCG, caterers Delaware North and our home teams, the Roosters, Dragons and Swans have partnered to subsidise prices for Sunday NRL and AFL matches for the rest of the 2019 season.
Beef or Chicken Burger
Tempura Fish and Chips
July 28 Swans v Geelong
House Wine 150ml
Great Northern Super Crisp
Coca Cola Varieties
Mt Franklin Water
August 4 Roosters v Titans August 18 Roosters v Warriors September 18 Dragons v Wests Tigers
UPCOMING MATCHES 04 AUG
v GEELONG CATS AT 3.20PM
v GOLD COAST TITANS AT 2.00PM 01 SEP
v PENRITH PANTHERS AT 7.35PM
v WESTS TIGERS AT 4.05PM
v ST KILDA AT TBC
v NZ WARRIORS AT 2.00PM
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The Beast's Monthly Mailbag Words The People of the Eastern Suburbs CYCLEWAY CIRCUS Who remembers those heady days in the early ‘70s when we all first fell in love... with roundabouts? Councils all over Australia were smitten. We were catching up with Europe and well ahead of the US. Even drivers (eventually) came to realise that roundabouts smoothed and sped up traffic flow, and that the crashes were fewer and occurred at lower speeds. Well, there are some at Randwick Council who remember none of that. Their recently revised South Coogee to Kingsford cycle path proudly boasts “seven newly signalised intersections” – yes, seven! - in just 1.9kms! If you copped a red at most of them (which isn’t hard), that could add a quarter of an hour to that part of your trip to work. I suppose we should praise the revised plan’s saving of 27 of the original 37 trees to be chopped down. It only took hundreds of screams from furious ratepayers to have them wonder what they were thinking last year. Yet the saddest, scariest thing about the cycleway circus is that, for over a quarter of it, the cycle path runs alongside dozens of private driveway exits. Pause and think... got it? That’s not just accidents waiting to happen, that’s horrific accidents designed to happen! Peter Russell Coogee
10 The Beast August 2019
BOB’S GULLY Andrew Worssam’s wonderful piece on Bob’s Gully (A Hidden Delight... Schneider’s Gully, The Beast, June 2019) brought back many great memories. My brother and I grew up on one of the Penkivil Street blocks on your small map section after some redivision and the renaming of the street to Martins Avenue. Our parents moved there in 1948 and purchased the property in the early ‘50s. Consequently, we, along with many other kids at the time, would frequent and play in the gully on a regular basis. Access was either through a vacant block almost opposite Norburn’s on the corner of Ocean Street (and Martins Avenue) or by sneaking through the beautiful property, Glen Roona, that was mentioned in the article. There was an access gate and pathway down into the gully. We were trespassing but there wasn’t much security in those days! It was a very special place. The western side was naturally terraced, providing plenty of cover during the many battles waged between rival groups nothing too serious, just mad fun! There were war games, cowboys and Indians, and the odd ‘shanghai’ fight, as well as catching tadpoles and earning our mothers’ wrath for nicking off with the strainer when it was otherwise needed. There was also a circular bike race track
on the floor of the gully that was constantly in use. Our dad was a member of the Bondi Junction Rotary Club, which was responsible for constructing the scout hall, and several weekends were spent assisting with the construction as members were actual tradies donating their time and expertise. It was a wonderful haven, especially during a hot summer, and it was just at our back door... almost. Any time you were in trouble and needed to disappear in a hurry it was simply a matter of ducking through someone’s side passage and over the fence into the gully. There you could hide, never to be found - just like Sherwood Forest! I never ever discovered why it was locally known as Bob’s Gully. Tony King Randwick NAUGHTY PEARL Dear Beast - Just writing to share my disappointment that you have allowed the misogynist contribution (Pearls of Wisdom, Monthly Mailbag, The Beast, July 2019) from an Eastern Suburbs community member who goes by the name ‘L’Oh’. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion but some opinions shouldn’t be given a platform. I am super disappointed that you gave someone with such a small mind a platform to tell women how they should dress to get respect from men and blasting women for exercising their rights to show a mere two per cent more of their body in a bikini, in line with current bikini fashion trends. This is not okay, especially given the current climate of women still fighting for 100 per cent freedom regarding their bodies. Women can wear whatever the hell they want, and ‘no’ always means ‘no’.
Please be more responsible with who you give a voice to in your magazine. Marina Clovelly ROCKS IN HEAD, ROCKS ON ANKLES I consider myself a positive person. Friends call me ‘happygo-lucky’ and colleagues often ask why I’m always smiling. But don’t let my bright disposition fool you - yes, fool you - just like the incredibly bright spark who installed the fire alarm in the now demolished Allianz Stadium fooled us all into thinking he knew what he was doing when he installed it. My sweetness aside, I’d happily tie the rocks to the ankles of the person who installed this system. Yes, that’s right, if I am woken up one more time between the hours of 11pm and 5am! It goes off every single week. It is enough that the suburb of Paddington has to deal
12 The Beast August 2019
with the barrage of construction noise from the demolition of Allianz Stadium and the dust of what is probably asbestos filling our homes (it’s highly suspicious that the majority of the stadium was knocked down during Sydney’s wettest week). Yes, I’m sweet and clued in, so watch out OH&S officer, I know of your incompetence! The ‘emergency evacuate now’ alarm is obviously faulty, because if people were setting it off deliberately at 2am then surely the cost of security guards would be far less than the thousands in fees for multiple fire trucks to go to the stadium every single week. If that alarm goes off one more time in the middle of the night, Little Miss Sunshine here won’t be putting sugar in your tea - it’ll be something that’ll feel like a strong hit to the head, just like the sound of that alarm going off at 3am feels to me. Elisa Paddington
DIGITAL DICKHEADS Dear Beast - I was at Black Boho café in Coogee today, trying to enjoy a coffee in a tiny café space with two dickheads on either side of me having full-on work-related conversations with their laptops the whole time I was there, which was at least 20 minutes. Okay guys, I get the whole digital nomad thing, but please consider your surroundings the people around you, plus the businesses you are in. These are not office spaces, so don’t drain them of their wifi all day and turn off other customers from coming in. And, buy more than one coffee if you are going to take up a seat and table all frigging day! The poor café owners are at a loss as to how to teach you some manners. Janine Coogee P.S. Both tables of course had ocean views.
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Who is your favourite person? I have lots of favourite people in my life, but the one person who I love to hang out with is my partner JK; he is interesting, kind and super supportive. What do you get up to on the weekends? My weekends always involve some kind of physical activity. Usually it’s training at City Gym or pilates at Yoga Synergy. I also take my dog Honey for a walk and stop at a trendy café for a piccolo.
Making a positive difference.
Local Chick... Pamela Cominos from Bronte Interview and Photo James Hutton Bronte’s Pamela Cominos is the founding principal of Cominos Family Lawyers, a specialist divorce and separation legal practice. She shares her local favourites with The Beast… How long have you lived here? I have always lived in the Eastern Suburbs and for the past few years I have lived in Bronte. Why do you live here? Bronte is breathtaking. I live here because it feels like one permanent holiday. I have a fairly busy work schedule and find living here makes me feel calm and happy. Bronte has super friendly people and great coffee. What's your favourite beach? Bronte Beach of course. It has the best of both worlds - sand and grass! What's your favourite eatery? I love Bronte Belo. They have the best nachos in the East. 14 The Beast August 2019
Where do you like to have a drink? One of my favourite places on a Friday night is the Charo Hotel. It’s relaxed and the cocktails are always great. Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Everything. The scenery is spectacular, the vibe is chilled and friendly, and there’s great shopping as well. Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Not much really, except for the parking restrictions around Bondi Junction. Do you have a favourite sporting team? Not really. I suppose the Roosters and the Sydney Swans, but only because my son loves them. What music are you into at the moment? Throughout my life I have had an interest in all kinds of music, from classical to funk. These days I love Buddha Radio, it’s very easy to listen to.
What do you do for work? I’m a lawyer. Since 2011 I’ve been operating Cominos Family Lawyers, a boutique legal practice that specialises in divorce and separation, children’s matters, family violence and property. We have grown from one lawyer to four specialist family lawyers, two para-legals and an office and IT manager. We’re all dedicated to providing services that protect, empower and offer the best representation possible. What's your favourite thing about work? I love my work. I live to empower and support people when times are challenging and big decisions need to be made. I love law and enjoy strategy and advocating for my clients. I’m passionate about protecting children and ensuring they are kept away from conflict, and I always try to add value and make a positive contribution to their lives. Do you have a favourite quote? “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? My words of wisdom are simply to choose to live as authentically as possible. Life is too short to be putting up with situations that don’t make you happy, so find your truth, live it and have fun.
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August 2019 The Beast 15
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THUMBS UP RUGBY AUSTRALIA Hats off to Rugby Australia CEO Raelene Castle and her crew for standing up to bigotry and discrimination on behalf of us all. GLYPHOSATE BAN Randwick Council has already ceased spraying these carcinogenic chemicals. Waverley and Woollahra are currently conducting reviews into their use. WHALES The annual migration is well under way, with thousands of our blubbery buddies making their way north for some loving. ASH BARTY Only the second Aussie to hold the number one spot since Barellan’s Evonne Goolagong Cawley back in the Middle Ages.
THUMBS DOWN CONSTANT NOISE As one renovation or construction site comes to an end, the next one has already begun. Time to buy some earplugs. RED HERRINGS The ‘religious freedom’ debate is a complete and utter wank. We already have religious freedom in Australia, but it’s ‘freedom to discriminate’ that the God-botherers are really angling for. COST OF LIVING God only knows how the average income earner affords to live around here. Baked beans on toast, anyone? AGEING Another day, another grey, so they say. First the hair, then the beard, then the chest... we’re worried about what comes next. 16 The Beast August 2019
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Local Councils Respond to Glyphosate Concerns Words Siriol Dafydd Photo Dane Jeruss Every once in a while we discover frightening health risks associated with products that are ingrained in our daily lives. Asbestos, for example, is still quite literally coming out of the woodwork and you only need to watch one episode of Mad Men to see blissfully unaware pregnant women puffing on durries in the ‘50s. Now it seems that glyphosate-based weedkillers can give us cancer too. US lawsuits came in thick and fast after the World Health Organization’s International Agency for Research on Cancer ruled in 2015 that glyphosate was probably carcinogenic to humans. Earlier this year, a US couple claiming their nonHodgkin lymphoma was a result of using Roundup weedkiller won a landmark case. Bayer, the makers of Roundup who rather unfortunately bought the brand from Monsanto last year, were ordered to pay A$2.9 billion. With massive payouts making headlines around the world, everyone is suddenly soiling their undies over exposure to glyphosate. But what does this mean for us? Have we been exposed to it? And what are our local councils doing about it? 18 The Beast August 2019
You’ll be pleased to know that Randwick was quick out of the gates with a response. Mayor Kathy Neilson announced in June that Council was phasing out Roundup and would begin trialling organic alternatives. Slasher Weedkiller, which is made from naturally occurring acids found in plant oils, will be used across parks, open spaces, garden beds and footpaths. Other alternative herbicides will be used on urban bushland and coastal walkways and non-glyphosate-based selective weedkillers will be used in parks and sports fields to control weeds like clover and bindii. “This is a progressive and responsible move to trial alternative products,” Randwick Mayor Kathy Neilson told The Beast. “Some members of the community are concerned about the use of glyphosate and recent court decisions overseas. We’re proactively responding to that concern through this trial.” A spokesperson for Woollahra Council told The Beast that, as per their current Pesticide Use Notification Plan, “Chemical usage is a final option”. “Council follows an integrated approach to weed control. We try
to prevent weeds wherever possible via mulching, plant spacing and treating weeds before they seed. We use small quantities of glyphosate for spot spraying weeds in garden beds, footpaths and for treating noxious weeds across the Woollahra LGA.” All products used are in compliance with the Australian Pesticides and Veterinary Medicines Authority (APVMA), which is the national regulator for agricultural chemicals. “Council staff have appropriate training in the use of glyphosate and follow the recommendations of the regulator, including dilution rates for spraying, in its usage.” “We are reviewing our practices and considering any new scientific information associated with the safety and effectiveness of glyphosate, and a report will be prepared for Council.” Meanwhile, following a mayoral motion to minimise or eliminate the use of herbicides, Waverley Council engaged an independent expert to review current policies and procedures. “The review will look at all options for weed management, including reduced or nil use of herbicides where possible,” said General Manager Ross McLeod. Waverley Council’s current strategy does occasionally use Roundup or glyphosate in adherence to the Pesticide Use and Notification Plan adopted by Council in 2016. “Our parks maintenance crews are trained in the use of all materials and/or equipment used to maintain our reserves and public places. The Australian Pesticides and Veterinary Medicines Authority states that glyphosate can be used safely if the directions on the label are followed,” he said. Waverley Council hopes to discuss the findings of the independent review some time this month. We’ll keep you posted.
Dr John Martin with a handsome male Yellow-Tailed Black Cockatoo.
Protecting Our Winter Visitors Words Alexandra De Vylder Photo Elie McCarthy Imagine: A cry pierces the sky and you look up to see sixty black birds winging toward the coast. There’s another call to your left, and more birds rise from a tree to join the flock of floating jets. Sound familiar? I bet. Residents of the Eastern Suburbs see this graceful migration every morning and evening in the colder months. But what do we know about Yellow-Tailed Black Cockatoos? Why do so many congregate here? Where do they go in summer? A recent study from UNSW used GPS tracking to answer some of the questions we need to know to support the species. A love of ‘Yellow-Tails’ prompted Jessica Rooke to design the first comprehensive study of the birds in 2015. “I began researching them in my own time and found that for such a well-known and iconic Australian bird, we know very little about them,” she said. Birdlife Australia’s 2015 report described a “declining population trend” for YellowTailed Black Cockatoos across south-eastern Australia, based on observational data. Jessica 20 The Beast August 2019
and her research team wanted detailed information on the Sydney population’s seasonal movements and feeding habits. So, why are dozens of these cockatoos in Centennial Park and Coogee right now? The study found that the pinecones from non-native trees (such as Maritime Pine, Aleppo Pine and Monterey Pine) attract huge numbers of the birds to these areas in winter. Don’t worry, our icons aren’t putting on airs: they still eat banksia and casuarina seeds elsewhere, and they’ll target any tree with borer insects in the wood. “And we had no understanding of that at all,” said Jessica’s co-supervisor, Dr John Martin of UNSW. “No one had ever done any research on this species to look at individuals, how they’re moving or what they’re feeding on, so we’re sort of starting with a blank page and trying to fill in the gaps with what this species is doing.” The researchers fitted twelve Yellow-Tailed Black Cockatoos in Centennial Park with solar GPS transmitters to find out exactly where they travelled
over a two-year period. They weren’t sure the tech would work. “Because as you can imagine, these birds have crushing can-opening beaks, and the idea of putting something the size of a matchbox on their backs that has a solar panel and a battery in it - they could destroy that piece of equipment pretty quickly if they wanted to!” The birds left the trackers intact, and the study found that some of them travel as far as 154km away between September and February, their nesting season. This is when pinecone availability in the Eastern Suburbs is low and the birds will find other food sources in agricultural and natural habitat, as well as “highly modified urban areas”. Loss of foraging and nesting habitat due to land clearing has seen Australia’s four other black cockatoo species listed as endangered or vulnerable to extinction. While our YellowTailed Black Cockatoos aren’t considered threatened, John and Jessica encourage further research to prevent population decline. This includes co-ordinated citizen science efforts, ideally twice a year or quarterly. “In part, it’d be great if we could have a larger community involvement in monitoring the Yellow-Tailed Black Cockatoo population nationally,” said John. You can help by reporting sightings of the birds to the eBird mobile app, or BirdLife Australia’s program, Birdata. This data informs state, national and global collections of biodiversity data. “The idea, even if you just did it once a year, if everyone went out over one week and tried to count all the Yellow-Tailed Black Cockatoos they saw, that would be fantastic. That would be the best data that we have available.” In the meantime, enjoy these cheeky winter wonders.
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Bits and Pieces from Around the Beaches Words Dan Hutton Photo Paul Howard Instagram @_paulhoward_ WIN AN EPIC TRIP WITH SYDNEY SEAPLANES Woollahra Council is launching a new monthly e-newsletter and they’re giving you the chance to win some great prizes including a Sydney Seaplanes flight for two. All you need to do to enter is subscribe to Woollahra News and share a photo showing what you love about the Woollahra local area. Entries close on September 22. For full details and to enter, please visit woollahra. nsw.gov.au/enewscomp. WYLIE'S WINTER PARTY Join the Lily Calvert Foundation at Wylie’s Baths from 5.00pm on August 31 for a winter party to raise money to support children with serious lifethreatening illnesses. Featuring a limited exhibition of artwork by well-known Sydney artist Laura Wells, the fundraiser will be held in the marquee perched above the ocean at Coogee’s spectacular Wylie’s Baths. Come along for cocktails, food, music, prizes and a chance to bid in the live auction of Laura’s artwork, with proceeds raised on the night going to support the great work of the foundation. Tickets are $79 and include canapés and drinks for the first hour.
The Lily Calvert Foundation was set up in honour of Baby Lily Calvert, who died aged just ten and a half months of an incurable brain condition. You can follow @thelilyflower_ on Instagram for regular updates or check out Laura’s artwork at port-pholio.com. IMPROVING ACCESSIBILITY More members of Randwick City’s diverse community, particularly the aged, NDIS recipients and others with access or mobility needs and other forms of social disadvantage, will have easier access to Councilrun events from now into the future. Following their June meeting, Randwick Council has committed to investigating ways in which to remove barriers and increase inclusion in all future cultural, educational, entertainment and sporting events and activities run by Council. Please visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au. THE UNLIKELY MOTHER Anastasia Carnell is quirky and unpolished and tends to overshare during awkward silences. Growing up, she was known as “the most unlikely to have children”, but last year she became a mother to her miracle
baby. Now that she has a child and has plenty of spare time and creativity she is channelling all this goodness into a blog, sharing stories from the sleep-deprived perspective of an unlikely mother. Anastasia’s writing is real, self-deprecating and Eastern Suburbs based, and you can check it out by visiting www.theunlikelymother.com. PUTTING THE STARS IN KIDS' EYES D’Arcy Lewis, a Bondi surf clubbie and Iceberg, has just published his first kids book in Australia and the UK. Goodnight Starry ignites kids’ curiosity about space as they journey to each planet in our amazing solar system. “Kids love the beautiful illustrations and also accidently learn simple facts about each planet, like the dust storms on Mars and Jupiter’s windy bottom,” D’Arcy explained. It’s available from all bookstores across Australia and signed first editions are also available from www.goodnightstarry.com. The website also has kids’ games, activities, fun facts and teachers’ resources.
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On top of the world.
Sophie Smith: Superwoman, Local Legend and… Mountaineer! Words Siriol Dafydd Photo Owen Smith We’ve already established in previous articles that Coogee local Sophie Smith is an absolute superhero. After giving birth to premature triplets in 2006, Sophie and her husband Ash faced unimaginable tragedy. Their son Henry lived for only one precious hour and their sons Evan and Jasper also passed away after only 10 and 58 days. To lose one child is unthinkable, to lose three is souldestroying, but the couple decided to transform their grief into positivity by running the Sydney Morning Herald Half Marathon and raising much needed funds to save future babies and prevent other parents from facing the same heartache. 13 years later, having also lost her husband Ash (43) to a battle with cancer, Sophie has made Running For Premature Babies her full-time job. The charity has raised over $3 million to date which has funded critical research, provided 45 pieces of life-saving equipment and directly benefited 5,000 babies. 24 The Beast August 2019
But Ms Smith’s Herculean efforts don’t end there. This unfathomably strong woman has now set her sights on a new fundraising challenge: The Annapurna Marathon. That’s right, she’s going to be running a full-on, hilly as all hell marathon at high altitude in the bloody Himalayas! The Annapurna Marathon is certainly not for the faint-hearted. Taking place in October, this brutal 42 kilometre race goes from 1,200 metres right up to an altitude of 3,750 metres in a gruelling 20 kilometres of solid incline. But this is only half the battle. After a tough ascent comes a twisting and technical descent through the jungle towards the finish line. But don’t worry, bonkers as she is, Ms Smith is not taking on this behemoth alone. She’s successfully badgered nine other nutters into joining her on this once-in-a-lifetime journey with Primal Adventures. Many of these are Eastern Suburbs locals including Kylie Smith, local estate agent Marnie Senior and
Rozanne Green, who is taking on this challenge to celebrate her 60th birthday. Other team members include Chair of the Running For Premature Babies Foundation Stuart Cassie and Director Colman O’Driscoll, who also happens to be the father of Rory, who was born weighing only 685 grams and survived with the help of life saving equipment donated by the charity. And if that wasn’t enough of a dreamteam, Ms Smith also managed to rope in none other than cave diving hero Craig Challen after meeting him at the Australian of the Year awards. “I asked Craig at 2am on Australia Day, after a few drinks, if he’d like to come to Nepal with me to run this marathon,” Ms Smith told The Beast. “He told me he’d never run a marathon but he loved mountains. I took that as a ‘yes’ and basically kept emailing him until he ran out of excuses for why not to do it! In his Australian of the Year acceptance speech he encouraged people to push themselves and not take ‘the easy route’ but instead see what they are capable of. That’s what I’ll be doing in Nepal and I’m so excited that one of our greatest Australian heroes is coming too.” If you’d like to complete a spectacular challenge alongside some truly inspirational humans, you’re in luck. There are six spaces left and Sophie would love to have you on board. It may very well take you right to the edge of your (dis)comfort zone and take every ounce of energy you could possibly possess, but just imagine the views… and bragging rights! For more information about the Annapurna Marathon, visit www.runningforprematurebabies.com/event/ annapurna-marathon-nepal.
If you have any issues at all that you require assistance with, please do not hesitate to contact my office on 9398 1822, email email@example.com, or come in at 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick.
Electorate Office Details: Address: 15/53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Phone: 9398 1822 Fax: 9398 1044 Authorised by Dr Marjorie Oâ€™Neill MP, 15-53-55 Frenchmans Road, Randwick NSW 2031. Printed by Jeffries Printing, 5/71a Milperra Road, Revesby 2212 using parliamentary entitlements. July 2019.
Sydney Children’s Hospital Under Threat as Paediatric Cardiac Surgery ‘Funnelled’ to Westmead Words Friends of Sydney Children’s Hospital, Randwick Our beloved Sydney Children’s Hospital in Randwick has been in the media recently. Why? The hospital is under serious threat of being downgraded and the full range of medical services that you expect your children to have available may be transferred to the Children’s Hospital at Westmead, over an hour’s drive away. Without public awareness and strong pressure on the decision makers, the hospital as you know it will cease to exist. How did this crisis come about? In 2011, the NSW government decided to unite the administrations of the two children’s hospitals to form a network, but unfortunately the balance of power was not equal. The crisis we face today has come about because of paediatric cardiac surgery. The two children’s hospitals are the only places in the whole of NSW that offer this service (compared to at least 20 public or private hospital options for adult cardiac surgery). Both hospitals need it to provide comprehensive care, even for children without a cardiac issue. Some babies are born with cardiac defects but children of all ages can have accidental injuries, acquire serious chest infections, viral heart infections or breathing problems, develop tumours or suffer complications of chemotherapy and need emergency cardiac surgery. For decades Randwick has had an excellent cardiac surgical unit with published outcomes comparable to other centres around the world, treating many of our local children 26 The Beast August 2019
as well as those from around the state. Since 2011, the Westmead-based cardiac doctors have been gradually funnelling referrals to Westmead and the administration has been supporting them. Despite the network executive, the board and the Ministry of Health stating a commitment to a two-site model, there has been no investment in Randwick and at the same time an ever-increasing expansion of the services at Westmead. Declining cardiac surgery numbers at Randwick have already affected some specialty services and losing it completely will be devastating for the whole hospital. This is not a turf war between doctors Randwick is now fighting to exist as you know it and expect it to function. Removing the ability to provide complete care for children in a city the size of Sydney with transport infrastructure already stretched is senseless. Imagine if it were your child who suffered while waiting to be transferred across town or in transit when they potentially could have been treated safely in Randwick. Consider the effect on your entire family if your child has an illness that requires travel back and forth to Westmead for a prolonged period. The cost of running paediatric cardiac surgery in Randwick is not expensive as a lot of the infrastructure already exists. $3 million dollars a year to fund staffing and a cardiac catheter lab is paltry when you consider the NSW government is spending $729 million on the football
stadium. The government is arguing that the population of Sydney is growing in the west but ignoring that Randwick provides healthcare to 40 per cent of the children in NSW, accepts 75 per cent of statewide retrievals and that the Royal Hospital for Women is next door with one of the busiest and most highly regarded neonatal intensive care units in Australia. The doctors at Randwick have been escalating concerns for the last eight years as the situation has deteriorated, culminating in a vote of no confidence in the executive, the board and the network. 87 per cent of 149 senior doctors at Randwick voted in May to leave the network. Thus far the NSW Government has allowed the degradation of cardiac surgical services at Randwick to continue and there are grave fears that transferring all cardiac surgery to Westmead will be a huge mistake that will affect children and their families for decades. What can locals do to help? Don’t be complacent - it is our children’s lives at stake. Stay informed and tell your family and friends. Write to Brad Hazzard, our Minister for Health, and our Premier, Gladys Berejiklian, to let them know that Sydney Children’s Hospital in Randwick needs to be an autonomous comprehensive tertiary hospital that includes cardiac surgery. At the very least, sign the petition at www. change.org/p/nsw-state-government-save-sydney-childrens-hospital-randwick.
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More Bits and Pieces from Around the Beaches Words Dan Hutton Photo Bill Morris Instagram @billmorris JOB OPPORTUNITIES FOR EARLY LEARNING SPECIALISTS Uniting Iluka Early Learning at Bondi Beach is currently seeking dedicated and qualified Educators to join their team on a permanent, permanent-part time and casual basis. Uniting Iluka works in partnership with families and the local community to ensure children feel safe, supported and secure as they develop positive self-esteem. Current vacancies include a Nursery Educator, Certificate III Educators and Diploma (Qualified) Educators. For more information, or to express your interest, please email Alex Sullivan at email@example.com or give her a yell on 0466 801 937. MARKS PARK ACCESS AND UPGRADE PROJECT Waverley Council will be building a new playground and accessible pathway at Marks Park, Tamarama as part of a wider access and upgrade project. The works will deliver new access stairs and path access around the perimeter, erosion mitigation and steep slope improvements, as well as general landscaping and improved signage. The pathway will provide independent, dignified and step-free continuous access around the perimeter
of the park for people requiring wheelchair access and families with prams. “Waverley Council is proud to be delivering a project that provides equitable access to the coastal edge of the park and lookout vantage points while retaining around 95 per cent of the green space,” Mayor Wakefield said. For more information, visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au. FREE TAX ADVICE AND ADVOCACY A new Tax Clinic run by UNSW Business School students is offering unrepresented individuals and small businesses free tax advice and advocacy. The UNSW Tax Clinic is open to eligible individuals or small businesses who are in dispute with the Australian Tax Office and may not be able to afford proper advice. To apply for an appointment at the outreach centre in Eastlakes or the CBD, please visit business.unsw.edu. au/about/schools/taxation-business-law/unsw-tax-clinic. BEACH BREAKS CARNIVAL Randwick City Council’s annual surfing-themed event, the Beach Breaks Carnival, will be held at Maroubra Beach from 12-4.30pm on Sunday, July 28. The carnival will feature an array
of family fun entertainment, live music and the unveiling of new inductees into the Australian Surfing Walk of Fame, which recognises and celebrates the outstanding achievements of Australia’s leading surfers and surf lifesavers. Don’t miss out on a vibrant community event that celebrates the proud surfing history and culture of Maroubra Beach. For more information, visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au. SOLAR MY SCHOOL WINS BIG Randwick, Waverley and Woollahra Councils’ Solar my School program has won the Local Government Professionals NSW Excellence Award for Environmental Leadership and Sustainability. The awards highlight the exceptional achievements in local government across NSW and focus on significant areas of the industry including leadership, environment, community, operational performance and partnership. Solar my School is a multi award-winning program launched in 2017 by the councils to provide independent support and guidance to primary and secondary schools looking to power their facilities with locally produced clean energy. To learn more about Solar my School, visit www.solarmyschool.org.au.
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August 2019 The Beast 29
However, you can now buy cars that can drive 230 to 500 kilometres on a single charge. Since city drivers generally have a 40 kilometre return commute, you’ll only need to charge two to three times per week, or less if you leave the car at home or commute by public transport.
EV enthusiast Osher Günsberg charging his EV at Bondi Beach.
Electric Vehicles: Five Common Myths Debunked Words Nicola Saltman, Waverley Senior Sustainability Officer There’s plenty of hype about electric vehicles (EVs); understandably, since we’re on the brink of a motoring transformation in Australia, with more models hitting our streets and EVs gaining popularity. Recent surveys indicate that more than 75 per cent of locals would consider buying one. Drivers are wanting smarter, quieter, faster, less-polluting, cheaper-to-run cars that they can charge at home. With this transport ‘revolution’ on our doorstep, let’s tackle the main myths surrounding EVs. 1. EVs are expensive True, EVs cost more than petrol cars to buy. Current prices range from $44.9k to over $100k, but costs are falling, with predictions that they’ll be cheaper than gas guzzlers by 2025. It’s when you factor in running costs that EVs come out on top. EVs cost 70 per cent less per kilometre to power than petrol cars, saving you $1600 on annual fuel costs, and 30 The Beast August 2019
because EVs have fewer moving parts, you’ll also save on maintenance costs. 2. They’re a passing fad The EV industry is booming. Every major car manufacturer has skin in the game. Current projections indicate electric vehicles will account for 57 per cent of new car sales by 2040, and Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs are tipped to be a hotspot. We can expect a major shift this year with more affordable cars available: the Tesla 3, Hyundai Kona and Ioniq, Nissan Leaf and more. For utes and work cars, expect to see fast and tough models in the next few years. Unfortunately, we are way behind the rest of the world, with high proportions of EV ownership already in many Asian and European countries. 3. You’ll run out of charge Until recently, range - i.e. how far can you drive without running out of charge - was one of the biggest issues with EVs.
4. There’s nowhere to charge While 90 per cent of people will charge their car at home, we still need public charging. Luckily, you can now charge locally at on-street public charging stations provided by Randwick, Waverley and Woollahra Councils. You can park and power up while surfing at Bondi beach, watching the footy at Coogee Oval or shopping at Double Bay or Randwick - sure beats an inconvenient trip to the petrol station. Elsewhere, charging stations are springing up in shopping centres, community venues and along highways all over Australia. Check the plugshare. com app for all available charging points. 5. They aren’t really that good for the environment The transport sector is responsible for almost one quarter of the Eastern Suburbs’ total greenhouse gas pollution, and cars are the main cause of Sydney’s pollution. Even when grid-powered, EVs emit 22 per cent less emissions than petrol cars. EVs offer an alternative pathway, one that can be powered by renewables and reduce emissions and air pollution. EVs are also blissfully noise-free! It’s a win-win. For more information: • waverley.nsw.gov.au/ electricvehiclecharging • electricvehiclecouncil. com.au • Email secondnature@ waverley.nsw.gov.au
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You never grow out of LEGO.
Bondi Junction LEGO Store to Rebuild Sydney Football Stadium Satire Kieran Blake, email@example.com Photo Al Leons Sydney Football Stadium will be the first sporting stadium in the world to be built entirely out of LEGO. The revolutionary infrastructure project is the brainchild of Brickmaster Gladys, aka Premier of NSW Gladys Berejiklian, and is the motivation behind the opening of the LEGO store in Bondi Junction. “NSW is always at the forefront of innovation, especially under a Liberal government,” stated Brickmaster Gladys. “Constructing this vital infrastructure out of LEGO will see the project delivered on time, under budget and to a standard never before witnessed in the world. The greatest advantage, however, of building the sta32 The Beast August 2019
dium out of LEGO is that it can be easily dismantled and rebuilt every time there is an election or by-election.” Brickmaster Gladys then provided details of the plans to reduce expenditure. “The stadium will be constructed in pieces, by children. Don’t worry, they won’t be paid slave labour wages - they won’t be paid at all. In fact, and this is the beauty of the scheme, the children will actually pay for the privilege of working when they sign up for a birthday party at the LEGO store.” The build is scheduled to be completed in stages and then trucked down the hill to Moore Park. The structure will then be installed by children on school
excursions, saving yet more money. Brickmaster Gladys allayed fears that children lack the experience and skills required to build the promised worldclass facility. “The children will take part in a competition. Every aspect of the build will be overseen and scrutinised by experts.” Sydney residents assumed these experts would be master builders from LEGO’s headquarters in Billund, but this is not the case. “The history of Sydney has shown us that intelligent, innovative, avant-garde and highlyqualified Danish construction experts are no match for true blue Aussie loudmouths. Therefore, the experts will comprise of Sydney’s most popular talk back radio hosts, who will also announce the winners of the competition.” Construction of the new stadium has already begun inside the LEGO store, and the installation of the pre-fabricated pieces will commence once filming of Wreck it Ralph 3: Ralph Breaks the Electorate is completed on the current site and moves into post-production at Fox Studios. Relevant stakeholders welcomed the cost-saving measures implemented during the construction phase, according to Brickmaster Gladys. “As a result, we have extended these savings to the managers of the stadium, who will be provided with LEGO figurines to serve as security staff and food and beverage attendants during sporting events. We do not anticipate any requests for penalty rates from LEGO figurines.” Brickmaster Gladys then encouraged local residents to embrace the iconic architectural landmark, and to visit it before the next election.
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August 2019 The Beast 33
August 2019 Monday
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Caught Stealing Curated by Dr Jaime Tsai, Caught Stealing is an exhibition by contemporary Australian artists who mobilise theft as an artistic strategy in their work. It’s open every Monday to Saturday until August 10 from 11am-5pm at National Art School. Please visit nas.edu.au.
Sydney Science Festival Coinciding with National Science Week from August 6-18, Sydney Science Festival’s program of talks, workshops and exhibitions will investigate how science informs and intersects with the contemporary issues we face. For the full program, visit www.sydneyscience.com.au.
Inn Talks at Paddo Inn Paddo Inn and Veuve Clicquot present Inn Talks, a speaker series for locals and thought-leaders across Sydney. Tonight’s talk is about sustainability in fashion. It’s on from 6-8.30pm at Paddo Inn and tickets are only $55 per person. Book at paddoinn.com.au/inn-talks.
$14 Schnittys at The Cloey The Eastern Suburbs’ favourite local haunt is excited to announce $14 schnittys every Thursday in the bistro. The pool tables are free as well, so you can enjoy a game while you digest the goodness. For more information and other specials, visit www.clovellyhotel.com.au.
Kids Eat Free at The Cloey Mouths to feed? Sick to death of slaving away in front of a hot stove? Well, you’ll be happy to hear that kids eat free every Monday from 5-9pm at the Clovelly Hotel. And the chocolate machine is back! For more information and other specials, visit www.clovellyhotel.com.au.
Truffle Dinner at Chiswick Revel in the flavours of the beloved truffle with a four-course feast at Chiswick. Tickets are $150 and include a four-course communal dining experience matched with wines from head sommelier Eleonore Wulf. Book your spot at chiswickwoollahra. com.au/truffle-dinner.
Curry or Pie? Get down to the Robin Hood Hotel on Wednesday nights from 5pm for $20 specials on the bistro’s delicious curries and pies. Apparently Andrew Bogut prefers the curry, but each to their own. For more information, please visit www.robinhoodhotel.com.au.
Sven's Winter Special We eat a lot of Sven’s Viking Pizza here at The Beast, so we’re stoked to announce that they’re offering our readers 25% off pick-up and dine-in orders placed online at svens.com.au until the end of August when you use the code ‘WINTER25’. Wood fired tastes better!
Join Waverley Bushcare Join like-minded locals and help make a difference to one of Waverley’s special green spaces. You’ll learn about native plants and wildlife and enjoy the benefits of time spent in nature. No experience is necessary. For more information, please visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au.
Sydney Jewish Writers Festival The Shalom Sydney Jewish Writers Festival celebrates the richness and diversity of contemporary Jewish writing from around the world and will be running from August 20-26 at the Bondi Pavilion. For more information and to book tickets, visit www.shalom.edu.au.
Steak and Trivia at The Cloey Test your brain out while you demolish a $16 steak and chips every Wednesday at the Clovelly Hotel. It’s $5 happy hour from 4-6pm every Monday to Thursday so you may as well make a night of it. For more information and other specials, visit www.clovellyhotel.com.au.
Maloneys Home Delivery Too lazy to do your grocery shopping? Maloneys offers a complete home delivery service, so there’s no excuse for living on Domino’s and Deliveroo. Get your order in by 7pm and it’ll be delivered fresh to your door the next day. To order, please visit www.maloneysgrocer.com.au.
Winter Warmer Lunch Specials Coogee’s Courtyard Cafe’s winter warmer lunch specials are back! Drop in for lunch from Monday to Friday during the winter months and take advantage of $15 main meals from 12-3pm. You can also add a beer, glass of wine or a fresh juice for just $5 extra.
Randwick Council Meeting All residents are welcome to attend the Ordinary Council Meeting from 6-9pm on the 4th Tuesday of each month at the Council Chambers on the 1st floor of Randwick Town Hall. The agenda for each meeting is available on Council’s website at www.randwick.nsw.gov.au.
Woollahra VIEW Club Meeting Woollahra VIEW Club meets at 10am at Woollahra’s Gaden Community Cafe on the 4th Wednesday of every month, with a guest speaker followed by an optional lunch. If you’d like to come along, please call Jan on 0422 922 095 or email email@example.com.
The Art of Ageing Challenge your views on older people by visiting the Art of Ageing Exhibition at the Waverley Library Galleries from August 29 until September 23. The exhibition celebrates the lives of older people living in regional NSW. For more information, visit waverley.nsw.gov.au.
Learn Something New Based in the Eastern Suburbs, City East Community College offers a huge range of courses for people wishing to learn a new skill or try something different. For the full course list and more information, please visit cec.edu.au, and use discount code 'BEAST' for 10% off!
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Kitchen Collective Until August 4, Jacob’s Creek will be bringing back Kitchen Collective to Bennelong Lawn, offering the ultimate cook, wine and dine experience with chefs Daniel Wilson and Stuart Toon. To book tickets, Google ‘Kitchen Collective’ and it should be the first thing that pops up.
Sydney Gluten Free Expo Make the voyage out to Rosehill Gardens Racecourse today and tomorrow for the Sydney Gluten Free Expo and discover, taste and buy everything that's new in gluten free foods. No, we’re not taking the piss. For more information, please visit www.glutenfreeexpo.com.au.
Roosters vs Titans The mighty Sydney Roosters will battle it out with the Gold Coast Titans this afternoon at the SCG from 2pm. The Titans are absolutely terrible this year so get along to witness a solid flogging by the Chooks. For tickets and information, visit sydneycricketground.com.au.
Sing Your Lungs Out Fancy yourself as a bit of a pop star? Well, there’s no excuse for missing Karaoke with Aaron Manhattan at the Robin Hood Hotel, every Friday night from 10pm until late. For more information and to see what else is on at ‘The Hood’, please visit www.robinhoodhotel.com.au.
Bondi Farmers Markets Choose from a huge range of fresh seasonal fruits and vegetables, organic meat and poultry, fresh flowers, breads, jams, cheeses, seafood, herbs, spices and more at Bondi Beach Public School every Saturday morning from 9am. Please visit www.bondimarkets.com.au.
Celebrate City2Surf in Style Celebrate the unofficial end of winter in style. The Bucket List Bondi and Canadian Club are hosting a Rehydration Party with Barney Cools on the decks from 2pm and The Sheaf in Double Bay have got surprise DJs on the roof from 8am and a shuttle bus running from Bondi from 11am.
Sydney Folk Festival The Sydney Folk Festival is a celebration of all musical genres that sit under the ‘folk music’ umbrella. It’s an urban festival, with all of the venues in the heart of the city, five minutes from Sydney Town Hall. For more information, visit www.sydneyfolkfestival.com.au.
Return of the Jedi in Concert Experience the spectacular Return of the Jedi on the big screen, with the full score played live by the Sydney Symphony Orchestra at Sydney Opera House today at 2pm and 8pm. For more information and to book tickets, please visit www.sydneysymphony.com.
Roosters vs Warriors The Sydney Roosters will battle it out with the New Zealand Warriors this afternoon at the SCG from 2pm. The kiwis will be working hard to make the eight so it should be an entertaining encounter. For tickets and information, visit sydneycricketground.com.au.
Swans vs Saints (TBC) Our wonderful Sydney Swans will take on the St Kilda Saints this afternoon at the SCG. The Swans and the Saints have struggled this season so they’ll both be hungry for the win. To purchase tickets and for more information, please visit sydneycricketground.com.au.
Bondi Sunday Markets Every Sunday from 9am to 4pm at Bondi Beach Public School you’ll find clothing from up-and-coming designers, handmade jewellery, exotic imports, retro-chic furniture, vinyl records, homewares, one-off vintage pieces and more. Visit www.bondimarkets.com.au.
Food Addicts Meetings This morning, Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) is hosting one of its twice-weekly meetings, which are held every Wednesday at 7pm and Friday at 10am at Salvation Army Hall, 100 Boyce Road, Maroubra. For more information, please visit www.foodaddicts.org.
Taste of Coogee Get down to Coogee Oval today and tomorrow for Coogee’s biggest event of the year, Taste of Coogee. For more information, please visit www.coogee.info. Roosters vs Panthers The Chooks play the Panthers at the SCG from 7.35pm. Visit sydneycricketground.com.au.
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BROOKE BONEY W E N E E D T O TA L K
Interview James Hutton Pictures Jeremy Greive Instagram @jeremygreive
Just days into her new role as the entertainment reporter for Nine's Today, Brooke Boney made headlines with her controversial comments surrounding Australia Day and what the date means to Indigenous people. The Beast caught up with Brooke at Bronte Surf Club... How are you this morning, Brooke? I'm feeling pretty good. I'm just moving so, you know, I think there's not a single person in the world who loves packing up their stuff. Are you living in Bondi at the moment? Yeah, I'm in Bondi at the moment. I'm staying in the Eastern Suburbs. Why would I leave? This is God's country. What are your favourite things about the area? I love the lifestyle and I love how you can leave work, or leave the city, and feel like you are going on a little holiday. It doesn't feel like it's connected to Sydney. Being a country kid, that's a pretty good feeling. You grew up in Muswellbrook; how far is that from the coast? From Newcastle it's probably two and a bit hours. It's near Scone. Living here, you just really feel super grateful for it. You walk out and you're like, "Oh, wow, this is where I live? This is amazing!" It's magic... Do you know where I really love? It's a bit secret, but the secret's out now, I love walking up to the golf course at
North Bondi. If you walk through the golf course there's a bunch of rocks on the other side that are on the cliffs and I love just going up there, getting a beer, fish and chips, or something. A hot tip if you're a dude and you're looking for a cool first date, that's a good spot. My brother told me that there are some carvings up there somewhere. I've walked around a bit, but I can't see them. Does anything annoy you about the area? Look, sometimes you run into some dickheads. I think that for the most part we're a pretty lovely bunch but sometimes there's the odd person who's a bit pretentious and I find that a bit hard to cop, sometimes. You're currently the entertainment reporter for Nine's Today; what does an average day involve for you? Waking up at about four o'clock in the morning, getting to work at about five, going through hair and make up, researching all the topics of the day, pulling together the bulletin for the morning and then we're on air from five-thirty, so my first E-news hit is not long after that. Then we're off air at about nine o'clock. But there is always stuff to do, whether it's doing an interview with a big celebrity who's in town, a movie star, TV personality, musician or whatever. It could involve shooting a story with them, but then there is a lot of publicity involved with making TV as well. I may have to go do an interview or something like that for myself, like this.
Are you doing publicity every day? Not every day, but a lot. We do a lot, and I think that's one of the pretty amazing things about being part of this show, is that people actually care about it. You know, people are really invested in Today. You've just finished a two-year stint as Triple J's breakfast newsreader before the Today gig; would you describe yourself as a morning person? No, the opposite really. I'm much more of a night owl than I am an early bird, but one thing that this routine has taught me is that the mornings are the best time of the day. I actually love it now, even on the weekends I'll be up to see the sunrise and do a bit of meditation or go for a walk. A few years ago I would have been much more likely to be still out at sunrise than waking up at sunrise, so it's nice. I'm definitely not a morning person, even though I'm finding myself loving the early mornings. You are enjoying it? Yeah, I am enjoying it, it's good. I'm very good at napping. How have the ratings been since you got the gig at Today? Look, I try not to pay too much attention to the ratings because this is a long game. As long as I'm doing the best possible job I can do, rocking up to work every day with a really good attitude and a smile on my face, be nice to the people around you, that's what matters most.
August 2019 The Beast 37
The ratings will come... They'll come, and it's a natural thing with any show that there's ups and downs. When you're building an audience, especially when you've got a new show like that with two female hosts and you've got the first Aboriginal person on breakfast TV, it's a different audience that you're after, it's something new that you're building and that takes time. Focusing on short-term goals is never a good strategy... Yeah, you're chasing your tail. I reckon that there's a real risk if you start looking at the ratings minute by minute, or you start looking at every single thing that you're doing, and I don't want to adapt my personality to try to win the most viewers or to change who I am to try to fit in with that because I think people either like you or they don't. There's a real risk if you pay too much attention to that. Obviously we want to win, and we want to win back people after a rough couple of years, but someone else will let me know. How's the transition been from ABC, SBS, and NITV into mainstream Channel Nine? It's really different. It's really, really different. It's a different sort of job I'm doing as well, but I feel like I've got... this is going to sound weird, but I feel like I've got a lot more freedom now than what I've ever had before, and it could be because, when you're working at ABC or SBS, you're always really aware of the fact that you're government funded and so you're kind of hamstrung by what you can and can't say. So, for example, the stuff I talked about at the start of the year about the Australia Day stuff... That was my next question... Yeah, well, good segue into it! I'm reading your mind. You know, for instance, I don't think I would have felt as comfortable saying that stuff on ABC or SBS, because then you're always
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scared that they could take your funding away or that you could be penalised for saying something the government doesn't like. But on Nine, they're just like, “You go for it, you be yourself, you do what you do,” and that was sort of where we ended up with that.
"I've spoken about this stuff and thought about it very deeply for a very long time, so it wasn't difficult for me to pull together a few sentences on what I thought about it, why I care about it." So, just days into your new gig on Today back in January, you found yourself in the centre of controversy with your comments on Australia Day: "I'm a Gamilaroi woman. My family is from northern New South Wales, been there for about sixty thousand years or so," you calmly explained. "This date, I know it comes up every year, and I'm not trying to tell everyone else what they should be doing, but I can't separate the 26th of January from the fact that my brothers are more likely to go to jail than they are to go to school, or that my little sisters and my mum are more likely to be beaten and raped than anyone else's sisters or mum, and that started from that day." Firstly, had you planned on saying that or did it just come to you in the moment? Well, the day before, we knew that the Pat Cash story was going to be played, so my boss Berlo called me and was like, “Hey, you know, we should get you involved in this segment. You want to have a yarn about it afterwards, what you think about the day or whatever?” I was like, “Okay, yeah, this is what I think about it, this
is what I'll say,” and he was like, “Yep, sounds good.” Then I just got on air and sort of went for it. It was completely off the cuff, it wasn't scripted or anything, but it's easier to come up with things like that, or to talk about that sort of stuff, when it's what you believe. I've spoken about this stuff and thought about it very deeply for a very long time, so it wasn't difficult for me to pull together a few sentences on what I thought about it, why I care about it. When I say to people, "I think we should change the date, or at least have a discussion about it," they often reply with, "Well, when would you have it?" If Australia Day were to change, what date would be preferable? Well, the natural day for me would be the day of federation, which is the first of January, and then just whack an extra public holiday on the end so you're not losing any extra public holidays in the summer - you can sort of just stretch it out a bit. I think that would work well. You have to think about things like that. You don't want to have a national day in winter when we are a sun-loving, outdoorsy people. We want to be able to get out there and celebrate it, so I reckon that fits pretty well, but then there might be people who are like, “Federation is when they excluded us from the constitution, so that's just as bad,” or whatever. I think that the brutality of the 26th is the thing that sticks out to me the most and that's why I have that problem with it. Sitting here in Bronte Surf Club looking at the ocean, sometimes when I sit up there in Tamarama, up near Marks Park, I think about what it would have been like to see all those ships coming towards the bay, or about how different people's lives would have been then compared to forty years later. Think about it, just living your life, spearfishing, having a great time swimming
The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city
Randwick News Randwick City Council, in conjunction with Waverley and Woollahra councils, has won a number of awards recently for our joint Solar my School program. I love it when initiatives like this get the recognition they deserve, because it reinforces how important it is to create and develop programs that look after our future generations. Offered to all schools across the eastern suburbs, the Solar my School program helps local schools navigate a path to solar success from start to finish, from initial solar feasibility and funding advice, through to tender assistance and installation, as well as education for students. For more information, visit www.solarmyschool.org.au. If sustainability is a passion for you, I know you’ll get a lot out of our Eco Living Expo coming up on Sunday 22 September. We’ve ensured that it is chock-full of innovative ideas and information to help you take steps, both small and large, towards living a more eco-conscious life. Dr Karl will be on hand to inspire us all with a talk about changes that may have impacts on the future, so I hope you’ll join us. Councillor Kathy Neilson Mayor of Randwick
28 JULY BEACH BREAKS CARNIVAL Noon to 4.30pm Maroubra Beach
2 AUGUST FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIES AT LIONEL BOWEN LIBRARY: THE DRESSMAKER
6pm, Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Pde, Maroubra
6 AUGUST AUSTRALIAN POETRY SLAM WORKSHOP WITH ELLIOT YORK CAMERON 6pm, Margaret Martin Library, Level 1, Royal Randwick Shopping Centre
17 AUGUST HISTORY AUTHOR TALK: THE LITTLE HOUSE ON THE HILL AT POVERTY POINT, BY LINDA MCINTOSH 1pm, Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Pde, Maroubra
27 AUGUST TALKING TECH: DEMYSTIFYING THE NBN
7pm, Lionel Bowen Library 669-673 Anzac Pde, Maroubra
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around with your mates, practising your culture and then, all of a sudden, your life is irrevocably changed and every one of your ancestors has a life that is more difficult than the people who are about to arrive on the boats, for no other reason than the colour of their skin. That's what I think about when I think about the 26th of January. Ideally, Australia Day would be a day where every single Australian can have an awesome celebration together. The thought of the people that were here before anyone else having a shit day on that day doesn't really make it very inclusive... Yeah, well I think you want to celebrate this country, because we are just so lucky. You look outside and this is the middle of winter and people are walking around in t-shirts and shorts. It's amazing, it's just the best place in the world. It's so safe; I could leave my handbag out there in the middle of that park and I guarantee you it'll still be there in half and hour.
"The thing that I have noticed the most is that people take me more seriously now, or sort of realise that I have a very serious and thoughtful inner monologue." The grommets might have a little look through it though... You know what I mean, it's such a safe place. It's just beautiful and we should celebrate it, but I think you're right, celebrating it on a day where more people are included is better. If Australia was to become a republic, or if Indigenous Australians were to be recognised in the constitution, would the day that
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happens potentially be a good day to celebrate Australia Day? Yeah, absolutely, one hundred per cent. Something like that, where it sort of marks the birth of our nation, other than the day that black people were dispossessed, I reckon. I'm not that fussy, I'll take any other day. Did the trolling and negative comments get to you? Are you quite resilient and able to get over that, or did they hurt you? I think I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt, because every now and then you read something accidentally that sticks with you, or it sort of just gets under your skin a little. It's like, even for the people who are the most resilient people in the world, even the biggest celebrities or the most practised at getting trolled, every now and then there's still something that really hurts. One of the comments that I saw on Twitter said something really awful about my brothers and sisters and that was when I was sort of like, “This actually hurts.” They must've been so proud of you when that all went down... They are, but they also are my little brothers and sisters, so they're proud of me but don't want me to get too carried away, you know. They're the first people to let me know if my head was getting a bit big, or if I got a bit too big for my boots. Your life has changed a lot since that day; was that one of the biggest days of your life? I think it probably would have been. It is probably the biggest moment of my professional life, one of the biggest moments of my life, I guess. How has your life changed since that day? The funny thing is that you have these thoughts, and you have these feelings about certain things, right? Everyone does that, and you sort of just assume that people know how you feel
about something and how you would react in a situation, and then it comes to the situation where you have to talk about it and you have to react in a certain way and, you know, you do what you've set out to do, and it seems pretty straightforward, but the way the people reacted since then, I just didn't realise how... I knew it would get a reaction but I didn't realise how big a reaction it would be. It was a big reaction? It was a very big reaction. The thing that I have noticed the most is that people take me more seriously now, or sort of realise that I have a very serious and thoughtful inner monologue. You think that people can see that from how you interact with others or just by how you are, but they can't, you know? Maybe when you're a pretty lady on TV people don't expect you to have these well thought out opinions and maybe just think you're the 'entertainment girl', sort of thing? I didn't realise that people thought that until after. Then they were like, “Oh, you're saying all these really thoughtful things,” and I'm like, “Well, yeah, I've always thought these things, this isn't new for me. Hi, I've always been here. Hey!” But how else has my life changed? People take me a bit more seriously now and people sort of see that I'm a thoughtful person, and that's a really nice upside. Are some people scared of you? I don't know, probably. They probably wouldn't come near me. I'm probably more scared of them than they are of me, like spiders. When you say you are a 'Gamilaroi woman', is Gamilaroi in northern New South Wales? So, if you're driving from Sydney up through to somewhere in Queensland and you take the inland road you'll go through places like Gunnedah and Tam-
Mayor’s Message Record investment in Waverley With the new financial year well underway, I would like to reflect on my Council’s achievements over the past 12 months, particularly our investment in major projects enhancing the experience of Waverley for our residents and visitors over the coming years. Council is building a new playground and accessible pathway at Marks Park, Tamarama, part of an upgrade project that will include landscaping, erosion mitigation and improved pedestrian access from Marks Lane. The pathway provides independent step-free access around the heavily-used perimeter of the park. We have committed around $70 million to projects at Bondi Beach, making the area better and safer, including new amenities for South Bondi and improving pedestrian safety in Notts Avenue. We expect to receive development application approval later this year for the Bondi Pavilion restoration, with works beginning in mid-2020. Our South Bronte Amenities and Community Centre upgrade project delivers a new amenities building, responding to the needs of immediate stakeholders, locals and visitors. Our streetscape improvements at Bronte Village Centre increase pedestrian safety, creating an integrated public transport interchange with safer and accessible access. John Wakefield, Mayor of Waverley
Challenge your views on older people by visiting the Art of Ageing Exhibition at Waverley Library Galleries from 29 August–23 September 2019.
Events National Tree Day Sunday 28 July, 10am–1pm, Bronte Gully Join our celebration of all things arboreal and how important trees are to our community, wellbeing, and sustainability. Free, familyfriendly events including yoga for all ages, guided walks, nature craft, native seedling planting, theatre performances, BBQ and cakes by Bronte Public School, and music by Portia Hackett. brontetreeday.eventbrite. com.au.
Art of Ageing 29 August–23 September, Monday–Friday 9.30am–9pm; Saturday 9.30am–3pm; and Sunday 1–5pm Waverley Library Galleries Challenge your views on older people by visiting the 2019 Art of Ageing Exhibition at the Waverley Library Galleries. A learner driver, gymnast and ukulele player are among the extraordinary older people who will feature in the 2019 exhibition, which celebrates the lives of older people living in regional NSW. For more information, visit waverley.nsw.gov.au/ events.
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worth, then you'll get to Inverell and then Moree. From Tamworth, it's just towards up near the border, near Boggabilla. It's inland, west of Lismore. I think Lismore is Bundjalung. Is there an Indigenous language in that area that is still in existence? Yeah, yeah I think there's a dictionary. Can you speak it? No, I can't speak it. It's a tough ask... No, but I really want to. It's on my bucket list of things to do. It's so sad, firstly because people were forced to not speak their language - they were forced to speak in English because they were scared that if their kids spoke their own language then they would be taken away - so I feel very strongly about keeping it alive and learning it so I can teach my kids. You would normally learn it from your grandparents, then your parents teach you, or whatever. The first time I heard my grandmother speak any indigenous language was four years ago. She still remembers it, obviously, but she has just repressed it her whole life, which is pretty crazy. I went to Uluru a couple of years ago and a lot of the Aboriginals there don't even speak English. It felt like going to another country, as ridiculous as that sounds... Some people in the Northern Territory, especially the central desert mob, they'll speak four or five other languages before English. English will be like their fifth language. One of the things that I learned when I was in Canberra was that they do early childhood learning statistics and part of that is they get kids to read something - a basic skills test, or whatever - but for these kids English was their fourth or fifth language. At home they weren't speaking that, they were speaking in a local language, so they
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would be like, “These kids are so dumb, they don't even know how to string a sentence together.” No, they're actually just not used to speaking in English. “How well does your four year-old speak French or Latin?!” Was that for government statistics on literacy? Early childhood learning and that sort of stuff.
"It's not my job to go around educating every single person who thinks differently, or who has extreme views one way or the other." What's it like being a Gamilaroi woman on morning TV when other people on morning TV like Prue MacSween have said things like, "There needs to be another stolen generation"? Are you in a position where you feel like you can have a voice among the sharks? Yeah, look, I don't want to shit on anyone, everyone's entitled to their view. Sometimes they are rooted in misinformation, sometimes they are just not exposed to Indigenous perspectives. I see Prue all the time, we've been on TV together before and she's a really lovely person. I kind of wish we had this moment in our national discourse where people can disagree with each other without hating each other. Politics has become like religion in a lot of ways... I know, it's very divisive. People feel very righteous, like their view is the only and one true view of the world. I don't feel like that about myself; I don't feel like my view is the correct one, the one true view, or whatever. It is what it is, it's my view, it's my perspective on something and, as far as having a voice in an ocean of voices that have otherwise not
been Indigenous, yeah that's really important. It's absolutely vital to democracy and having a good country to have different perspectives on breakfast TV, but also throughout the whole day on radio and podcasts, and on YouTube and stuff as well. If our kids grew up thinking that there was only one perspective and that was Prue's or just mine, that's a problem for me. Even if we had a show and it was five Brooke Boneys as the host, I feel like that would be an awful thing because people need to see themselves reflected. People need to see themselves reflected in the media and people need to be different. Not everyone can think or sound or look the same. It's really important for us that there are different people involved in making TV and involved in shaping policy and involved in public discourse. In the interest of independent objective journalism, was there any kind of context to her comment that might make it slightly less offensive? I think around that time maybe there'd been some sort of abuse scandal, but I can't remember exactly when it was said. So it was just a poor choice of words, rather than anything really evil... No, I think that she probably does think that. If I asked her tomorrow if she thought that, she would probably say, “Yeah, that's what my view is,” but then I've not actually talked to her about it. If I did I would just say something along the lines of, that part of the reason that we're in such a dire situation now with Indigenous outcomes being so much worse than non-Indigenous outcomes is because of the trauma related to dispossession, and not just of our land and culture but also about our parents and our right to feel safe in your own home and the right to... you know, access to our own community.
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There's a lot of science and a lot of solid, sound, critically thought-out knowledge around how children's brains are affected by trauma. When we're talking about being taken away from your family and being beaten and raped, not taught your culture and not being able to speak your language, that is some of the worst trauma you can imagine. There is a lot more research now about intergenerational trauma and how the things that happened to those kids affect us now. So, the way my brain responds in situations would be different to the way someone who hasn't been in those situations would respond. We as a nation need to sort of figure out how we deal with the things that have happened in the past and part of it is acknowledging that these awful, horrible things happened in this country, even though we are not personally responsible for them, just acknowledging that they happened, and also acknowledging that they have a lasting impact beyond the events themselves. I suppose every white person in Australia now is in some way better off as a result of things that were stolen from Indigenous people over the last two hundred years, but I don't think many people would be comfortable with that notion... I think it's a very difficult thing to acknowledge that your good fortune has come at the cost of someone else's life or good fortune, and I think that's probably why we have so much trouble talking about it, because nobody wants to admit it. Say, for instance, if your grandfather went and took that house there on the edge of that cliff over there and said, you know, "This is my house now,” and everyone who was living in that house was kicked out, left homeless and poor. Not only that, the children were allowed to come back in, but they would be beaten and they wouldn't be
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allowed to speak in their native tongue, and they wouldn't be allowed to work and get paid for it - they'd have to work as slaves. For you to admit that you were benefiting from that, I think would be really hard, and I understand that. I know that would be a difficult thing but, you know, I guess the way we move forward is by continuing to have conversations about it. Are you ever going to get people to acknowledge that? I think some people will always have the view that they have now. It's not my job to go around educating every single person who thinks differently, or who has extreme views one way or the other. It's my job to share a perspective that's different from the one that's been shared in the past and hope that people feel more compassion and love towards Aboriginal people and, you know, for there to be more of a respect and understanding between different people. You were the eldest of six kids brought up by your single mum in housing commission in Muswellbrook; how did you go from those humble beginnings to get to where you are today? It was pretty hard work. It's been a big thirty two years, I really don't know. I don't have to ask you how old you are now... No. You know, it's not just me though. Even though I've worked really hard and given up a lot, and been away from my family for a long time, the only reason why I've been able to do this is because my mum worked so hard, and because her parents worked so hard, and their parents worked so hard. I'd love to be able to think that I got here all on my own but the truth is that I don't think anyone, especially me, would be able to get to this position without a lot of help. I know that I've worked hard and I don't want to take the piss
out of that. I deserve the things I have worked for but there's no way I would've been able to get to this position or this level of success if it wasn't for the fact that my grandparents worked really hard. My grandfather slaved his guts away in a coal mine for fifty, sixty years in order for me to be able to get here. A lot of people have helped me along the way in my career, and people have given me chances when maybe I wasn't quite ready for them, people who've propped me up and that sort of stuff. I feel very lucky to have been put in the positions where I have been able to prove myself. I think that's sort of how it's gone.
"It's getting harder to overcome that sort of intergenerational poverty; that intergenerational unemployment and welfare dependence." And you've taken advantage of your opportunities? Yeah, well that's the thing, you have to be ready for it every time, every opportunity that comes your way. You can't be ill-prepared or undercooked when it comes to media because I think you get found out pretty quickly. Can I ask about your dad? Yeah, if you want to. So, my mum and my dad were together for a little while maybe just after I was born or just before I was born. I didn't grow up with my dad. I don't feel like I missed out on anything because I had such strong male role models around me. Your grandparents were a big part of your life? My grandfather, my uncles, even my little brothers. They're just such beautiful men that I didn't ever feel like, “Oh, where's my dad?” or, “Oh
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no, I wish I had a dad around,” because I had very good role models and I was very loved. You didn't feel like you were missing out on anything when you were growing up? No, even when we used to have Father's Day stuff. We were talking about this on air a couple of weeks ago; some school was talking about banning Mother's Day because it might upset kids who don't have a mum, and I was like, “I didn't have a dad and I can't remember feeling that upset during Father's Day.” We used to just buy Pop a box of chocolates or golf balls, or socks or something. Hankies... Hankies and socks is always a good one. My mum is very strong as well and she sort of embodied both. She is very strong and forthright. What did she do for work? When I was in school she used to do waitressing, then she was a cleaner, and then more recently she has worked in education, like a teaching assistant. And she brought up six of you? Yeah, so there's five of us kids in the family - blood brothers and sisters - and she fostered a kid as well, my brother. I know this amazing lady in Leeton who fostered hundreds of kids. Her husband used to fix our Commodore 64 joysticks after we blew up and threw them at the wall... Yeah, it's pretty amazing. I take my hat off to people who are that generous. I don't know how she did it. I don't even know how people look after one kid... Man, I can barely look after myself alone. Do you think that the equality of opportunity that existed back then is being eroded away now? It's getting harder to overcome that sort of intergenerational poverty; that intergenerational
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unemployment and welfare dependence. I remember a couple of years ago having this moment when we were in a meeting - I think it was for Hack or something - and we were talking about a bunch of information that came out from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare around exactly that, and it really hit me then, at that moment, how difficult it is to overcome those sorts of circumstances. Anecdotally, from what I know, I look around at the kids we grew up with when I go home and I would say a lot of them have lives that are pretty difficult at times, certainly not as easy as what my life is now compared to what it has been in the past.
"This is the thing I always get frustrated by: when people aren't engaged in the political process but they want to have a massive cry about where we're at." As an Indigenous woman, did you face challenges you wouldn't have faced if you weren't indigenous? Were you conscious of that when you were growing up? Yeah, absolutely. I was especially conscious of it because the town we grew up in was mostly white people, mostly non-Indigenous people. I think when my family got there that there might have been one or two Aboriginal families. It was pretty clear who the black people are and who the black people aren't. In Sydney there are a lot of people and it's very diverse, people look different and it's kind of easy to blend in and switch a little bit more between identities or whatever, but when you are in a town and your last name is Boney, and everyone knows
you're a family of Boneys, you're a black person and people treat you like that. How far back can you trace the Indigenous side of your family? All the way back. I guess there's only a certain point where there's records and stuff, right? But if you look back towards colonisation and stuff - those first thirty years - we know where our family was at the time when the colonisers came to Australia. There's a few key figures who were the heads of certain tribes and there is this one particular guy called King Boney who pops up in a lot of texts, a lot around Richmond, so I think he abandoned part of his group and came down. But then the part where my family is from in Ashford, called Dead Bird Mission, that is the part of the town where they were condemned to, they would have been there for ages. All of the stories around there, that's where my pop knows all of his knowledge and culture from, so he would have learned all around there. They probably have some sort of claim over that land of being traditional custodians of the knowledge and stuff from there, but apparently last time I was home... so you have your country area, but then there's like different migratory paths around there, and my brother was telling me that there was another big group or big population where they think that my family spent a lot of time as well, which is around Kingstown, around Inverell. So the two sides of my family are the Boneys and the McGradys, and they go way back. You've got a background in political journalism; how do you feel about the state of politics in Australia? It saddens me when I see people who are disengaged from politics because I think that we elect the governments we deserve. If you're of the opinion that they're all useless and they're down there wasting our
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time and money, then vote them out. You have the power to do that, this isn't a dictatorship; you get the government you deserve. People need to be more engaged. This is the thing I always get frustrated by: when people aren't engaged in the political process but they want to have a massive cry about where we're at.
"When you're talking about the definition of reconciliation being one group of people understanding another group of people and coming to some sort of consensus around general ideas, what better way to initiate reconciliation than to understand this country's past?" The fact that the scare tactics work so well just shows how uninformed people are... I think that's the thing I get really upset about, when people are manipulated using fear. That really saddens me when things like that happen. I saw quite a bit of that when I was in Canberra. Because it's difficult to inspire people to be kind and open and compassionate when it comes to designing policy, and I'm not talking about one area in particular, it's really easy to motivate people to be scared and to close themselves off and to be independently motivated. I wish there were more inspiring characters. Are we going to see you in politics at any stage or is it a bit early to call? I don't think politics is for me. Having been down there and worked around politicians, I think it's really hard for people. People can be very idealistic
48 The Beast August 2019
and have a lot of personal goals and really strong values but it's difficult to maintain those when you are entering into a system. You've seen that with politicians before, you think, “Oh they're going to go in there and shake things up or change things,” and then they get in there and they're just sort of sitting on the bench not doing much. It's really, really hard when it's a party environment. Is it for me? I don't know. Will I ever do it? Probably not. What do you think is the best way forward for reconciliation? There's a whole bunch of stuff. One of the things that came out of the Uluru Statement from the Heart is around truth telling, and that's something that I keep coming back to. I feel a bit like a broken record but I think that, moving forward, the best way for people to reconcile with different views people have is to have a better understanding of the past, and that there's a really, really important process that we need to go through. We've seen in other countries, after Apartheid for instance, South Africa had their truth and healing commission. I think that those sorts of things, even though they are very structured and very formal, are very important exercises in the progress of a nation, and if we had something like that in Australia that would greatly benefit us. It's pretty common that I'll recount or tell a story about the brutality of colonisation and the effect it had on the population at the time, and people would be shocked to hear of it, and I think that's important for us to know about. If I've come across that many people who are hearing it for the first time, then there are a whole bunch more people who have never ever heard it and probably never ever will in their whole life. Something that I think is so important is the difference in outcomes that I was talking about before. When you attribute those only to race, it's
racism, so we need to know what the reasons are behind that, otherwise we're in a country where we think one group of people is better than another and I'm not okay with that. Do you think a lot of people just don't know? I didn't know anything until I read First Australians... It's very good, have you watched the TV series? I haven't, but should something like that be compulsory reading, part of the curriculum? I think it absolutely should be. When you're talking about the definition of reconciliation being one group of people understanding another group of people and coming to some sort of consensus around general ideas, what better way to initiate reconciliation than to understand this country's past? And for it not to be some sort of history wars thing where it's like, “Oh, we did this,” but, “Oh, but you did this and then this happened,” but just to understand plainly what happened in the first fifty years of this country's settlement is huge and I think it would change things dramatically. I think that would be a great idea. We're the only commonwealth country that doesn't have a treaty with our first nations; could something like that work in Australia? A treaty is when a country comes to another country and they say, “We're going to settle this country but we're going to look at you in terms of schooling, health and, you know, well make sure you're trained up to be farmers, or whatever.” So, that used to be how treaties were sorted out. The problem with a treaty now in Australia, and I'm by no means a legal expert, is that it's so complex and there are so many different nations. Who would the government or the Queen negotiate a treaty with at this stage? We don't have a representative body that
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would, say, gather the view of every Aboriginal person and then represent it to the Queen and be like, “Okay, well this is the standard we're willing to accept.” In New Zealand, when they negotiated their treaty it was around the time of settlement, which was a lot easier, but also there were only seven big language groups, or seven sort of larger tribe areas, so it's much easier to negotiate with that than it is to negotiate with Australia, which is just a huge continent with a huge number of language groups, and with really vastly different cultures and understandings of the world. That makes it very, very difficult. There are people who are far better equipped to answer questions like that than I am, but there are some ideas around that you could establish a representative body and negotiate a treaty between the government and those people, but there are other people who think that constitutional recognition would far better serve Indigenous people in terms of outcomes. I think treaties have symbolically been very important for Aboriginal people, because it's this word that symbolises the struggle more broadly for such a long time. Ken Wyatt made an interesting statement last month. He doesn't want to rush the constitutional recognition because if it doesn't get through it'll be set back another generation, like the republican referendum was; do you worry that the constitutional recognition could be used as a diversion to avoid any meaningful change? Is that what Ken Wyatt was implying in his statement? I think that change takes time. I think that he was probably trying to appease some of his colleagues who maybe were a bit worried about that sort of stuff. He wouldn't want to be the first black fellow to hold the portfolio and be like, “All right, we're going to do treaty, and we're going to do constitutional
50 The Beast August 2019
recognition within the first year.” Of course he isn't going to do anything like that, but I think that real and meaningful progress, where everyone is in agreeance and everyone is on the same page, takes time. I don't think we should rush those things. I think it should be a thoughtful thing where we bring everyone along with us and we're all on the same page, or thereabouts, and we move forward that way, because if we went to vote tomorrow on that sort of change it would get voted down and you would have to walk down the street and look at people knowing they don't want to include me or my people in any meaningful way in the constitution. That would be a hard thing for us and I think it probably would set us back a little way. But if you think about the 1967 referendum, I think they took maybe twelve years of campaigning to get to the 'yes' vote and that 'yes' vote was the most successful 'yes' vote in the country's history. I think 91.65 per cent of people voted 'yes'. That means people like my grandparents could walk down the street and know that nine out of ten people voted 'yes'.
"If you're the kind of person that can't sit still for ten minutes, definitely get into journalism because it'd suit you I reckon." What advice do you have for young journos keen to follow in your footsteps? You have to work your arse off. Don't be offended when people ask you to work really hard for them for not very much, because we all start off that way. There are some times when people are like, “Can you believe they're offering unpaid internships?” and I'm like, “Yeah, I can believe it, because
it's work.” That's how the cookie crumbles. It's an industry where the audience is fragmenting and there's not a great deal of money, so be prepared to work long hours and be engaged in the content. But, you know, it's such a rewarding job; you get to travel, you get to talk to interesting people all the time, you get to have cool experiences. Sometimes I see people who are chained to a desk or something for twelve hours a day and I just think, “Oh my God, that would not suit my personality at all.” If you're the kind of person that can't sit still for ten minutes, definitely get into journalism because it'd suit you I reckon. Can you please explain what the Uluru Statement from the Heart is? There were a whole bunch of people from all around Australia who were considered representatives of the community and they wanted to engage with the government in a really meaningful way and they wanted to be heard, so they decided on a couple of different things. One was a Makarrata, which is like a treaty - a truth and healing process which is that truth telling stuff I was talking to you about earlier, similar to what happened after Apartheid. Some other policies as well, one of which is the representative body that sits kind of next to the parliament. Basically, it is Indigenous people saying to the government what they think will progress Indigenous affairs in the country. Those sort of things are the main parts of it. In an ideal world, what does the future hold for Brooke Boney? For me? Oh my God... This is about you after all... Keep living in the Eastern Suburbs, I reckon. I don't know, I just want to be healthy and happy, and have a fulfilling career - a job that I get a lot of satisfaction from and have people around me who care about me ●
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God-botherers exercising their right to be dickheads.
The Unreliable Guide To... De-termination Words Nat Shepherd Photo Ev O'Lution The Unreliable Guide doubts any woman who chooses to terminate her pregnancy does so lightly, but many women have no legal right to choose at all. Recently, nine US states successfully challenged the American constitution and have restricted a woman’s right to decide on this emotive issue. A woman in Georgia who chooses abortion can now be given life imprisonment or the death penalty, even if her pregnancy is the result of rape or incest. By contrast, a Georgian court gave Michael Wysolovski - a rapist who kept a 16 year-old girl in a cage for a year - just 8 months. And don’t think this attitude won’t affect us here - where the US leads, Australia frequently follows. Our “miraculously” re-elected Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, has stated that his Pentecostalist beliefs “inform” his world view. The beliefs of that fundamentalist church are firmly anti-abortion. Our exprime minister, Tony Abbott, termed Australia’s abortion rate as a “national tragedy”. There are no easy answers to this emotive issue, but The Unreliable Guide would like to offer some perspectives. 52 The Beast August 2019
What is life? Many anti-abortionists base their arguments in a religious context - if God has chosen to create life, we have no right to take that life. But where does life begin? Is every sperm sacred? Is a condom, as a means to prevent conception, a tool of the devil? If we must obey God’s plans for our existence, surely we should not use technology to go against the things He, in His infinite wisdom, sends to shorten our lives, such as disease. How can it be okay to interfere at the end of life and not at the beginning? And what about quality of life? If anti-abortionists really cared about babies they would lobby for free child healthcare. The US has the highest rate of infant mortality of any developed country. If they survive birth, one in seven US babies will live in poverty. Where are the demonstrations against that? Your body is a legislated territory Your body is the only thing you really own, but there are many laws about what you can and can’t do to it. You can’t put certain drugs in it, you can’t drive without strapping a seat
belt round it, you can’t euthanise it, even if you’re suffering from terrible, incurable pain. The anti-abortionists exhibit this same colonial dominance over pregnant women’s bodies, the right to choose is irrelevant. Women in Ecuador, where abortion carries a heavy penalty, are subject to arrest and examination if they suffer a miscarriage. Ladies, once you are pregnant your body is no longer yours. You are now a designated baby oven. To quote Australian comedian Mandy Nolan, “The Handmaid’s Tale is becoming more documentary than dystopian fiction.” Is this a war on women? Yes, I really think it might be. Even some anti-abortionists recognise that draconian legislation does nothing to lower the rate of abortions. In places where abortion is illegal women are still having them. Global statistics indicate that the abortion rate is actually higher where abortion is criminalised. What this means is that instead of safer, medical terminations, women are risking their lives by having dangerous backstreet abortions or trying to self-abort. Think this doesn’t affect you? Think again. Abortion is still a crime in NSW unless it can be proved to be essential for maintaining a woman’s physical or mental health. A recent attempt to update this 100 year-old law failed in the Upper House. 21 of the 25 politicians who voted against it were men. To quote writer John Irving, “Making abortion illegal (is) simply a sanctimonious, self-righteous form of violence against women.” Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests we stand up and say “Women matter”. We value them and their right to make decisions about what happens to their own bodies.
August 2019 Tide Chart Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Photo Bill Morris Instagram @billmorris Monday
• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter
2 0307 0908 1450 2118
0.14 1.50 0.33 2.05
3 0356 1000 1544 2209
0.13 1.53 0.34 2.00
9 0259 0900 1541 2224
1.28 0.55 1.57 0.58
10 0412 0958 1642 2331
1.22 0.59 1.61 0.53
1 0219 0817 1357 2028
0.19 1.45 0.36 2.04
6 0621 0.31 1239 1.55 1841 0.50
7 0048 0712 1337 1950
1.56 0.40 1.55 0.56
8 0150 0804 1438 2107
1.40 0.49 1.56 0.59
0.48 1.24 0.57 1.68
13 0109 0.43 0700 1.27 1232 0.55 1906 1.71
14 0146 0.39 0739 1.31 1314 0.52 1945 1.73
15 0221 0815 1351 2020
0.37 1.34 0.50 1.74
16 0253 0850 1428 2054
0.36 1.36 0.49 1.72
17 0325 0924 1504 2128
0.36 1.38 0.49 1.69
19 0429 1035 1621 2236
0.40 1.40 0.53 1.57
20 0501 0.43 1113 1.41 1704 0.57 2314 1.48
21 0535 1154 1751 2355
0.47 1.41 0.62 1.39
22 0614 0.52 1240 1.41 1846 0.65
23 0044 0657 1331 1951
1.29 0.57 1.43 0.67
24 0144 0749 1430 2108
1.22 0.60 1.46 0.65
26 0415 0959 1637 2326
1.19 0.58 1.62 0.45
27 0521 1.25 1101 0.52 1735 1.74
28 0020 0618 1158 1829
0.32 1.34 0.43 1.87
29 0110 0710 1252 1920
30 0158 0759 1345 2011
0.12 1.52 0.26 2.01
31 0244 0847 1438 2100
0.07 1.59 0.22 1.99
5 0532 1145 1738 2352
0.22 1.55 0.43 1.73
12 0025 0614 1145 1824
The Men's Bogey.
0.20 1.43 0.34 1.96
Sunday 4 0444 1051 1640 2300
0.16 1.54 0.37 1.89
11 0518 1.21 1054 0.59 1736 1.65 18 0357 0959 1542 2201
0.37 1.39 0.50 1.64
25 0258 0852 1534 2222
1.18 0.61 1.52 0.57
What would Mary do?
There’s Something About Mary Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Dick Van Dyke Who doesn’t love Mary Poppins? Walt Disney’s most successful film won 13 Academy Awards and Julie Andrews was perfect in every way. Her infectious smile oozed empathy, she was gentle, kind, magical and loving, with a voice so sweet it could melt anyone’s heart. Mary was the queen of positivity, famous for sayings like, “You can’t lose what you never lost,” and my personal favourite, “Everything is possible, even the impossible.” But did Mary’s positivity actually make people happy? Can you actually teach someone to be happy? And, why are some people outwardly more happy than others? Introducing the term ‘positive psychology’, the study of factors and processes that lead to positive emotions, virtuous behaviours and optimal performance. By being positive you’re giving yourself the tools to lead a happier and healthier life. There is a lot of research showing that positivity is linked to lower stress levels, better immunity, higher emotional well-being and even longer life expectancy. By adopting positive feelings such as hope, joy and even inspiration you’re 54 The Beast August 2019
building good foundations for a healthy mental state and optimal subjective well-being. If positivity leads to happiness then it becomes desirable and easy to sell. It’s no secret that happy people have better personal relationships, are more attractive to others, cope better with setbacks, are more resilient and make better decisions overall. Try smiling at a stranger, colleague or someone you don’t see that often and see what happens next. Chances are the person you smiled at reacted to you in a more positive way, making you feel happy. But there is also a negative side. If someone is generally depressed, telling them to think positively and have happy thoughts can be ineffective because it is difficult for them to do so - it’s not really addressing the underlying issue. In fact, people who are severely depressed have all sorts of cognitive distortions that make them feel and behave the way they do. One such distortion is what’s known as ‘disqualifying the positive’, where the person subconsciously transforms the positive experience into a negative one.
For example, if someone says, “You look nice today,” and you automatically tell yourself, “They’re just saying that to be nice,” you are disqualifying the positive and turning it into a negative. It’s a destructive way of thinking but difficult to break without proper help. There is also an unexpected flip side to the positivity push that is quite harmful: ‘toxic positivity’. This term comes fresh from the social media sites and has landed heavily in the laps of the self-help gurus. In a nutshell, by encouraging people to just see the bright side of life - to only be positive and happy - we are doing more harm than good and are in essence being ‘toxic’. Believing that all you need to do is send out the right positive thoughts to the universe and the universe will answer your prayers is an example of toxic positivity. By saying to someone who is struggling to get into University, “If you really want it bad enough you’ll find a way,” you’re also guilty of toxic positivity. Saying things like, “Don’t worry, you’ll get through it,” or, “Think happy thoughts,” doesn’t help either - it actually makes things worse. Such toxic positivity crushes the validation people deserve, leaving them feeling guilty. It makes them believe they are not strong enough to get better by themselves. If you’re having a hard time and feeling down, stop hitting the situation so hard with the positivity stick. A little bit is okay, but if you feel your case is more severe, whacking it like it’s a piñata won’t help. Instead, ask yourself, “What would Mary Poppins do?” She always seems to have the answer. For further information, please contact Jeremy via bondicounsellingservices.com.
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Coogee on a not-so-stinky day.
Water Time to Be Alive! Words Dr Marjorie O'Neill, Member for Coogee Photo Megan Rain With all the rain that has fallen on the Eastern Suburbs of late, one could be forgiven for thinking the drought across the metropolitan area and regional NSW has broken. Unfortunately, however, that is not the case. Despite the recent rains, Western Sydney and rural areas remain dry and Sydney’s overall dam levels across the catchment are just over 50 per cent. The State Government likes to boast about infrastructure spending, but one area where they’ve really missed the mark is water supply investment and infrastructure. You simply can’t sustain a city without water. The story of post-European Sydney, going right back to the earliest days, is a story about water. With the imposition of a foreign civilisation on an ancient, dry land, our society grew and was shaped around its expanding water supply. Nowhere is this more evident than in the Eastern Suburbs and inner-city areas. Whether it was the rapidly polluted Tank Stream in the city from 1788, the augmented water supply system of Busby’s Bore from Centennial Park in the 1820s or the Botany Swamps Scheme in the 1850s, Sydney could only grow if ever-increasing water resources could be discovered and tapped. 56 The Beast August 2019
Our city grew with the creation of the Nepean Dam in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, then Warragamba Dam in 1960, followed by the last big dam augmentation, the Wingecarribee Scheme, in the 1980s. In the early 21st century the Millennium Drought hit and dam levels consequently plunged to their lowest in history at just above 30 per cent capacity. While recent rainfall has been welcome, the drought has shown that it is essential for us to secure sources of water that are independent of rainfall. The key to effective water policy is finding a responsible balance as Sydney can no longer rely on a single source of water. Dam water must be in the mix. Various recycled water schemes have been implemented for nondrinking purposes and desalination has been brought into effect at Kurnell. Another component is stormwater harvesting highly relevant to our part of the city where we are fortunate to receive rainfall while other areas may not. Another key plank of water policy is demand management. We must conserve our precious water resources and use water more wisely. The delayed introduction of water restrictions and late activation of the desalination
plant means dam levels are still falling to dangerous levels and the state needs to start planning further capital investment. Some economists have suggested that the cost of water should vary depending on the dam levels, but I’m not convinced. This would lead to wealthier households having a higher ability to wash their clothes (and their kids) and businesses would struggle to plan due to uncertainty surrounding the cost of this essential resource. Ultimately, this could mean lifting prices many times, but it still won’t make it rain! The capture and use of stormwater has huge potential and there are many steps we can take to conserve water locally. Think rainwater tanks, stormwater detention basins, filtered rainwater for toilet flushing and significant stormwater reuse to irrigate our parks and gardens. All of this is achievable if, as the old cliché goes, we ‘think globally and act locally’. As a Waverley councillor and state parliamentarian, I believe governments at all levels should be investing more in local schemes like stormwater harvesting and rebates to encourage the use and maintenance of rainwater tanks, as well as the reuse of rainwater on and around government facilities and green spaces. None of this is that hard if politicians have the will. From my many discussions with people in the electorate, I know the community is behind such initiatives. An additional benefit of stormwater capture and treatment is the reduction in pollution of our waterways. If we can boost the reuse of stormwater in Coogee we can also clean up the Beach and fix that longstanding problem the locals know all too well. Perhaps one day Coogee will lose the nickname given by its traditional owners and will be a ‘place of bad smells’ no more!
Whatcha doin' in my waters?
The Weird World of Competitive Fishing Words Alasdair McClintock Photo Howard Moon For most of us, fishing is something to do on holiday as a bit of a novelty. We’ll pack an esky, head down to a body of water, hopefully catch a fish, then crack a few jokes about kissing it like Rex Hunt and throw it back. That’s the ideal scenario at least. In all likelihood, we’ll struggle with casting for half an hour, not catch anything at all, then trudge home cursing the god Poseidon for being such a stingey prick. Others, however, will laugh at our vain blasphemy, as they stoke their own burning shrines to the great Greek god of the ocean (probably) and giddily reel in fish after fish until they’ve had their fill. These are the men and women of competitive fishing. The elite of the fishing world. They chase the biggest catch like desperate young people chase attention on the dance floor at 3am. Yes, competitive fishing exists. Several tournaments are
held in Sydney and some are even run online. The online tournaments work by uploading a picture of your catch next to a ruler, which suggests, while there is no honour among thieves, there is among fishermen and women. Fisherpeople? That sounds weird, like they’re part fish. Regardless, if anyone wants to meet me at Fox Studios in the props department, I’ll see you there. There is nefarious coin to be made! But don’t get too carried away. There is not much money in it. You’d barely cover costs. Like a flashy beachside wedding, competitive fishing appears to be more about love and ego than a sensible financial decision. Like Captain Ahab ruthlessly hunting Moby Dick, or Homer Simpson risking his marriage for General Sherman the giant catfish, or a drunk nineteen year-old relentlessly pursuing anything with a pulse, these fisherpeople (I’m running with it) spend their
days with a wet line and a dream unlike anything us landlubbers can imagine. The size of one’s catch isn’t the only element that determines a final winner though. Size does matter, of course, and anyone who tells you it doesn’t is a liar, but factors like the type of species, number of fish caught, and even the strength of the line used, impact the scoring in many fishing tournaments. So, having a tiny, weak rod can actually be a good thing for once. There is no weakness in the art of fishing though, and as anyone who has reeled in even the smallest of fish can attest, those bastards are surprisingly strong and very hard to keep a hold of. You’d think a hook stuck in your mouth would be enough to keep you contained, but apparently not for these slippery customers. I tip my hat to those who have the patience to make an art of it. May Poseidon smile kindly upon you. August 2019 The Beast 57
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Even the meat pie fans will enjoy these.
Celeriac, Leek and Cheddar Mini Pies Words and Picture Dana Sims Insta @stone_and_twine I’m sharing another delicious winter warmer recipe with two tasty and versatile winter vegetables. I’ve substituted the common potato and leek combination with celeriac and leek, as celeriac is in season and has a lovely texture that goes well with leek and cheddar. I use store-bought puff pastry to keep the process fast and simple. You’ll need to get your oven cranking nice and hot to get the best flaky pastry with that perfect golden brown finish before serving them nice and hot as soon as they’re done. You’ll need at least one muffin tray that can hold 12 mini pies. This recipe makes 36 in total - that ought to keep you going for a while! Ingredients 60gm butter 2 celeriac, outside skin removed and cut into 2cm cubes 2 medium leeks, thinly sliced 1 onion, thinly sliced 60gm cheddar cheese, grated 60 The Beast August 2019
60gm parmesan cheese, grated 600ml milk 50gm plain flour 1 tbsp Dijon mustard 2 tbsp chopped thyme leaves Salt and pepper for seasoning 2 packets store-bought frozen puff pastry (you’ll need 8 sheets) 1 egg, lightly beaten Method 1. Pre-heat your oven to 200 degrees celsius; 2. To make the pie filling, melt the butter in a wide-based saucepan, then add the leeks and onion and fry over a medium heat for 3 minutes, separating the rings of the leeks as they cook. To soften them, cook for a further 5-7 minutes until tender but not browned; 3. Meanwhile, boil the celeriac in water in a separate pot for 8-10 minutes until just tender, then drain well. Heat the milk in a separate pot until just coming to the boil and remove from the heat;
4. Over a medium heat, sprinkle the flour into the leek mixture, stir it in and cook for 1-2 minutes, then gradually blend in the hot milk and bring to the boil while stirring. Ensure all the flour is mixed in, then add the mustard, thyme and the cheeses, then season to taste with salt and pepper; 5. Add the celeriac to the sauce and stir it in, then remove from the heat; 6. Generously grease the trays with butter and olive oil spray; 7. Thaw the frozen pastry sheets and cut rounds into the pastry using a metal ring or glass 8cm in diameter. 1 pastry sheet makes 9 rounds and you will need to cut 72 rounds for the pie bases and lids, which will make 36 mini pies; 8. Place the pastry bases into the tray(s) and spoon in the pie filling, leaving a ½cm gap at the top. Place a pastry round on each pie for the lids, gently pressing the edge of each one into the pastry base; 9. Cut a 1cm slit into the pastry lid of each pie to allow steam to escape during cooking; 10. Brush each pie lightly with egg wash; 11. Place them into the hot oven and turn the temperature down to 180 degrees. Bake for around 25 minutes or until pastry has puffed up and is golden brown; 12. Remove the tray(s) from the oven, pop out your mini pies and serve. Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food for entertaining and family. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to here in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.
The ‘Beef ‘n blue’, in all its cheesy glory.
The Village Inn: A Bloody Good Pub Words Joel Bevilacqua Photo Lauren Commens After gallivanting around the Eastern Suburbs for the past few months sampling a range of fancy dishes from a number of trendy establishments, I found myself craving an honest pub feed. I suppose all the beef carpaccio and vegan tiramisu in the world is no match for a solid chicken parmi (or ‘parma’, depending on your origins) when you’re bloody starving. At the time of craving it just so happened that The Village Inn was launching its new winter menu, so I ventured to the heart of Paddington to see what culinary changes had been brought about by the change of season. The Village Inn was the first pub to open in the Paddington Village. It has stood the test of time on the corner of Glenmore Road and remains one of Sydney’s favourite watering holes. Loved for its trivia and streaming of sporting events, The Village Inn evokes that old-school pub charm. There’s good music and vintage leather couches, and pictures of sporting heroes hang from the exposed brick walls. Sticking with the wholesome theme, dogs are also welcome - something that
is sure to please the dog-crazy residents of the area. The food on offer is very much in tune with the old-school pub vibe. The menu celebrates traditional pub classics with a twist and chef Johana Pierre’s winter rendition remains true to this custom. New additions include a garlic prawn pasta, a steak sandwich with truffle mayo and two new burgers - a mushroom burger with romesco sauce and a wagyu beef burger with blue cheese dubbed the ‘Beef ‘n blue’. This crowd-pleaser comes courtesy of charismatic owner Brody Petersen, who was inspired by his travels to New York and the copious amount of blue cheese and burgers consumed during his time in the Big Apple. Buffalo wings with ranch sauce have also been added to an already tantalising bar snacks menu and the jamon mozzarella croquettes hold their spot in the line-up. Pub classics like the lamb shoulder and chicken parmigiana remain, but Pierre still likes to put her own spin on these. The chicken parmigiana is made with prosciutto rather than ham, and the slow cooked lamb shoulder is served with an elegant eggplant chutney.
The Village Inn is located right in the middle of Sydney’s fashion mecca, so an emphasis has been placed on providing healthier lunchtime options to cater for the locals working in the industry. These include a salmon poke bowl with brown rice and a pumpkin poke bowl with quinoa, along with Caesar and Greek salads. A pub’s dessert menu is not generally a source of great excitement, but Chef Pierre’s background in pastry provides an exception to the rule. Jo’s chocolate raspberry sensation (frigging delicious) is worth leaving some room for, and the dessert of the day always showcases Pierre’s skillset. If you’re on your way to the footy this is a great place to stop in for a feed. The sun-drenched balcony is as good a place as any to forget your team’s woeful performance and the upstairs area is ideal for birthdays and other parties. As much as I love the finer side of dining, it was nice to tuck into a pasta that was bigger than my fist and a cold tap beer that didn’t break the bank. Throw in friendly staff who are up for a laugh and you’ve got yourself a bloody good pub experience. The Village Inn www.parlourgroup.com. au/thevillageinn/ Address 9-11 Glenmore Road, Paddington Instagram thevillageinnpaddington Phone 9331 0911 Open Mon-Sat 12pm to late, Sun 12-10pm Prices Beef ‘n blue burger $20, Garlic prawns pasta $25, Poke bowls $18, Jo’s chocolate raspberry sensation $12 Cards Master, Visa, Amex Licensed Yes August 2019 The Beast 61
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THE BLACK KEYS ‘Let’s Rock’ Label Easy Eye Sound Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating While I admit to enjoying listening to ‘Let’s Rock’, it does feel like a very lazy effort from The Black Keys. One gets the sense they were filling in their record label quota or something. The title is misleading too, as it’s more rock lazily on a yacht, drinking mid-strength chardonnay, than spill beer all over yourself and yell at the ceiling rock, which is what most of us associate with the Bieber-baiting duo. It feels weird to say it, but The Black Keys are flirting dangerously with pop-rock territory, and the only good pop-rock is the children’s candy.
THOM YORKE Anima
HOBBS & SHAW David Leitch Genre Action Comedy Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador If you’re after some serious jaw-dropping kick-ass action then look no further than the latest testosterone fuelled offering from the Fast & Furious franchise, Hobbs & Shaw. It’s a full-blown entertaining adrenaline ride directed by the multi-talented David Leitch (Deadpool 2) who has ramped the action up to maximum proportions with some ridiculously over the top CGI effects, epic stunts and a good dose of slap ‘em down humour. Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) is a federal agent with a wicked sense of humour who is forced to make an unlikely alliance with his former adversary, ex-Special Forces agent turned mercenary, Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham). When Shaw’s sister, Hattie (Vanessa Kirby), who is also an MI6 agent, steals a deadly virus from cybernetically enhanced supervillain Brixton Lore (Idris Elba), the three must go all out to save the human race and prevent a worldwide disaster. Do yourself a favour and avoid watching any previews so as to get maximum effect from the barbed one-liners, verbal jousting and craziness that is Hobbs & Shaw. 64 The Beast August 2019
Label XL Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating Thom Yorke is an interesting character. I’ve never really got a full grasp on him or his music. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan, but I just don’t quite get the idolisation. It’s either a bit too smart or far too pretentious for me, quite possibly both. I’m not the brightest sunflower in the field, so a lot does go over my head. As with most of Yorke’s side projects, this just sounds like another Radiohead album. Is it a welcome addition to their vast catalogue? Sure. Will I listen to it as much as OK Computer or In Rainbows? Almost certainly not.
AMBER LAWRENCE Spark Label ABC Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating I generally give modern country music a wide berth, considering it’s usually a vehicle for the deeply prejudiced, but I thought I’d forgo my own deep prejudices for a local. I’m glad I did. I was transported back to my teenage years and a passionate but fleeting crush I had on Shania Twain. That was a happy time. A more trained country ear will be able to dissect Spark far more effectively than I, but in these wingnuts it sounds like a poppier version of Missy Higgins. If you grew up in the ‘90s it will probably make you cheerfully nostalgic.
The Beast Supercross 1
ACROSS 1. Romanian region famous for its vampires (12) 6. Exchange of differing views (8) 8. 78% Nitrogen, 21% Oxygen, and some other stuff (3) 9. Film (5) 10. Traditional Indonesian soy product (6) 11. Arrive often unannounced (coll.) (4,2) 13. German pilot, ‘Red ...’ (5) 14. ‘... Pray Love’ (3) 15. What Hugh Jackman’s character invented in Kate & Leopold (8) 17. Business crime committed through extortion (12)
DOWN 1. Person who sells things over the phone (12) 2. Transition from one topic to another (5) 3. Passionate grief (6) 4. Swedish born actress famous for her roles in the ‘60s and ‘70s including Viva Las Vegas, ...-Margret (3) 5. Arresting for a crime (12) 6. Publicly support an idea (8) 7. Australian cricketer Cameron Bancroft is a ball-... (8) 12. Harry Potter’s address, ... Drive (6) 13. Wash by submerging in water (5) 16. Currency of Albania (3)
Trivial Trivia Words Cameron Anderson Photo Fabian Rodriguez Instagram @fabian.rdrgz 1. What is the Three Kings or Three Sisters constellation also known as? 2. What colour belt is the step below a black belt in karate? 3. What is the southern region of the US often called due to its high church attendance?
4. Who has won the most WWE Championship belts? 5. What is the region between Mars and Jupiter called? 6. What did Richard Sutcliffe invent in 1905 that revolutionised the mining industry? 7. What is a lattiilus?
8. In 1970, the Victorian Government became the first in the Western world to introduce which legislation? 9. Tongue, military, and pin are all types of what? 10. What did the 0 say to the 8?
Rose Bay tinnies. August 2019 The Beast 65
Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 Less than one out of ten of the people you “could easily root” would actually have sex with you, and they’d be the uglier ones.
Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 You’re going to be bitterly disappointed by a menu that overpromises and underdelivers, but you should still leave a tip.
Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 You must learn to manage an almost uncontrollable urge to rub your genitals aggressively on the toilet seat while defacating.
Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 Constantly trying to hand people things while their hands are full isn’t your worst quality, but it certainly isn’t your best.
Visions Beardy from Hell
Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 Choose carefully who to discuss important issues with; their lack of understanding could leave you feeling like a preacher.
Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Take the time to educate your friend who always parks as far away as possible from where you’re actually going.
Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 You should start doing a few squats, otherwise that arse of yours will be hanging somewhere between your knees and ankles.
Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 Give an old friend a quick catch-up phone call. It’s been a while and you’re going to need a favour from them soon.
Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Create lots of pointless tasks for yourself so you feel like you’re all busy and important, like everyone else in Sydney.
Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23 The person sitting closest to you at work is a thief and they have been eyeing off your shit for ages. Guard your valuables.
Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 You’re too friendly (annoying) to staff in cafés. They’re not your “mate”; they’re at work and you’re being a pest.
Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 People say, “Nothing is impossible,” but you seem to achieve nothing every day without too much effort.
Trivial Trivia Solutions
1. Orion’s Belt 2. Brown belt 3. The Bible Belt 4. John Cena (13) 5. Asteroid Belt 6. Conveyor belt 7. The part of the belt strap that hangs loose after passing through the buckle 8. Compulsory wearing of seat belts 9. Belt buckles 10. Nice belt!
S T U D I O C A LY P S O
S T U D I O C A LY P S O . C O M . A U H E L LO @ S T U D I O C A LY P S O. C O M . AU S T U D I O C A LY P S O
66 The Beast August 2019
BOUTIQUE GRAPHIC DESIGN STUDIO
Sydney’s favourite food and wine festival
Father’s Day Weekend
Sat 31 Aug & Sun 1 Sep live music
FOOD & $5 entry wine stalls Free for kids
under 18 & Senior card holders
Tickets online or at the gate www.coogee.info
Run Happy Pack valued at $60 RRP
with any Brooks shoe purchase at Runners Shop.
Run Happy Pack includes: - Brooks Running Socks - Runners Shop Mesh Running Cap - GU Energy Gel - Drawstring Bag * Offer valid until 11th August 2019.
Runners Shop Clovelly
Coast Runners Shop
201 Clovelly Rd. Clovelly, NSW 2031 (02) 9315 8711
Shop 1, 140 Wyong Rd. Killarney Vale, NSW 2261 (02) 4333 6064
The August 2019 edition of The Beast featuring Brooke Boney...