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Beast the

The Monthly Magazine for Sydney's Beaches of the East • August 2016

Standing out from the Crowd

Liv Phyland


Welcome to August 2016... The Worst is Over Words Dan & James Hutton Picture Ian Montgomery Website www.birdway.com.au

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elcome to the August 2016 edition of The Beast – the monthly magazine for Sydney’s Beaches of the East. With only one month of winter to go, now is the time to get down to the snow. There have been a few big dumps and conditions should be coming into their own right about now, so don’t wait too long or it will all melt away. August also means it’s time to start thinking about getting your rig back into shape for the warmer months. We always find that if we haven’t started training before September, we’re screwed. The t-shirt stays on and the Speedos don’t make it out of storage – slop central! One great way to ensure you’re looking shredded come summer is to start early, and the best way to do that is by signing up for the City2Surf. If you haven’t started

6 The Beast | August 2016

training by now, you could find yourself pushing shit up Heartbreak Hill, but with a bit of base fitness behind you, you should be able to conquer the 14-kilometre course without killing yourself.

This year’s City2Surf will be held on August 14, and it generally signals the end of the worst of Sydney’s winter (and it has certainly been a depressingly cold one this time around). From then onwards things should only get warmer – woo hoo!

On our cover this month is charismatic television presenter Liv Phyland. Liv hosts the popular music television show The Loop with fellow local resident Scott Tweedie. While she’s a relative newcomer to the Eastern Beaches, having landed in Bondi just last year, she is certainly making some waves. A regular with the Friday morning OneWave crew down at Bondi Beach, when she’s not surfing, swimming or practising yoga, she’s belting out a few covers on a Thursday night at Ravesi’s as one half of Olivia Newton Juan (yep, that’s the name of her band – the guitarist is called Juan). We hope you enjoy reading the August 2016 edition of The Beast, and, as always, best of luck for the month ahead. Cheers, Dan and James


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Contents

The Beast • August 2016 • Issue 139 06 Welcome Note

54 Local Bloke

66 Travel Bug

10 Pearls of Wisdom

57 Beastpop II

69 This Sporting Life

09 Contents

12 Monthly Mailbag 18 Thumbs & Dogs 20 Local News 21 Beastpop I 42 Calendar

43 Trade Directory 44 Interview

52 Local Chick

56 Rupert’s Rant 58 Fish ‘n’ Tips 59 Tide Chart

60 Local Wildlife

61 Aquatic Wildlife 62 Street Style

63 Unreliable Guide 64 Enviro News 65 QTips

Morning Ritual, by Claire Favre. Instagram: @miss_barra.

68 Sexy Time

70 Local Photos 72 Bandage 74 Reviews

75 Arts Bits

76 Food & Wine

80 Trivial Trivia

82 Beardy From Hell 82 Trivia Solutions


Oh bugger, you'll have to swim in the ocean now.

Super Storms the Act of a Vengeful God Words Pearl Bullivant Picture Des Struction

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n unkind person (or a Christian fundamentalist) would claim the violent storms that racked Sydney in June were an act of a vengeful god. A god who was seeking revenge on Mike Baird’s electorate for the ‘Sins of the Past’ when Premier Bob Askin paved the way for property developers to get their grubby hands on waterfront land. A god avenging the ‘Sins of the Future’ – Baird’s dictatorial amalgamation of local councils. And a god hell bent on getting retribution for the ‘Sins of the Now’ – the ugly urban sprawl housing developments that have slowly replaced the fertile lowlying farmlands that were once our food bowl. But Pearl is not an unkind person, nor a Christian fundamentalist. And I do not believe that climate change can be held responsible for the woes of the people on the dark side of the bridge. Instead, Pearl implores readers to return to the basic sci-

10 The Beast | August 2016

ence and geography lessons of high school, for it appears that in our lust for views and profits we have neglected the simple lessons on the topics of erosion and cause-andeffect. Shorelines erode, simple as that, and if you build your house on one you are an idiot. It’s similar to when you cut down a tree and wonder where the shade has gone. Or you commission a housing development in a flood or earthquake prone area and wonder why the houses don’t stay intact when the big one hits. Or when you overharvest and ask the government for drought relief because you can’t figure out why your grazing land is no longer arable. Or when you drift net for fish and ponder why fish stocks are depleted. How dumb and greedy are we? When are we going to stop compensating for our stupid actions and instead do the right thing the first time? Property developers love to crap

on about regulation and red tape stifling their business (i.e. huge profits), but the damage wreaked by the June storms is ample reason for an active nanny state – greed will always triumph in an unregulated environment. The damage that has been done on the Northern Beaches is due to millionaires wanting to live in waterfront properties at all costs, and developers wanting to line their pockets by building in risky areas. It isn’t due to the severity of the storm or the lack of sandbagging or sea walls; it’s about rich people not taking responsibility for their own actions. I’m just hoping these rich folk aren’t looking to Pearl’s taxes for compensation or to pay for the construction of ugly sea walls, but somehow I’m reassured that the right wing, user-pay philosophy of the Collaroy Beach dweller won’t allow them to accept government assistance anyway, lest they be labelled ‘dole bludgers’.


The Beast's Monthly Mailbag

Words The people of the Eastern Beaches Illustrations Dalton Wills The Time Has Come Dear Beast - The time has come for some serious money to be spent on Waverley Cemetery. Restoring and maintaining the cemetery was one of the reasons Council fought so hard for a rate rise in 2011. Many residents have been waiting, negotiating and working constructively with Council for the funds to be finally assigned to this iconic heritage listed site. Some works have begun. However, no one expected June’s savage storms, and the gully near the walkway has suffered significant damage. Mind you, for years it was used as a tip site approved by various senior Council employees and it is this rubbish that has fallen into the sea. Not only does work need to be done to ensure that the graves near the gully do not fall into the sea as well, but the long promised business plan needs to be forthcoming. Marie Persson Bronte Always Have Been a Cock ► Thanks for the reply Mayor D’Souza (Who’s The Cock Now Gus?, Letters, The Beast, July 2016). I want to say thank you for the urgent clarification that Randwick Council is not sponsoring professional sport and agree 100 per cent with the need to inspire the next generation. However, I am still waiting for a response on erecting a sign at Thommo’s, but I acknowledge that there are more important things to 12 The Beast | August 2016

do. To The Beast editors, thank you for the heading, which pointed out the obvious - I have always been a cock, am a cock and will always be a cock. Gus Bennett Coogee Fishing is Barbaric I would just like to thank Pedro for his letter in June's edition of The Beast (How Do We See Sea Life, Letters, The Beast, June 2016). And thanks also for the corresponding cartoon.
Thank you for broaching the subject of fishing as a sport and for putting so eloquently how barbaric it is. These beautiful wild creatures of the ocean deserve so much more respect.
The fight is hardly sporty, as it is totally unfair, cowardly and a

big propping up of man's ego.
Fish, as all animals that man decides to consume, suffer terribly.
A creature that fights for hours at the unfair hands of many a hunter equipped to the eyeballs with fishing equipment, wants to live. Probably as much as we do, if not more. There seems to be little gratitude or consideration for the life that has been given up, and a lack of respect for its habitat and the balance that is required to keep it healthy for all. Ariane Overflowing Garbage Bins I’d love to see if Council could make a rule that people who overfill their garbage bins and have heaps of excess rubbish have to put it in front of their own place and not the neighbours’. It is most annoying to come out and check your bin on garbage morning and find the neighbours’ rubbish all over our lawn, and the blackbirds hanging around the bin and the dirty nappies, which have to be cleaned up immediately. I would rather a neighbour that partied all night to the rubbish dumper who treats the garbage collectors like dirt, as well as their neighbours, and has no respect for property. People should realise they are able to purchase a large garbage bin from Council. If you can afford alcohol, you can afford a large bin at a reasonable price. Suzanne Marshall Randwick


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Local Pub Gives Talent a Go ▲ Just thought I'd drop a line to make you aware (though you might be already), and to give an acknowledgement to a local pub giving upcoming, talented musicians the opportunity to showcase their talents. As the weather turns cold, the refuge of a cozy, warm pub is a welcome thought. The fact that you can be entertained by local bands and solo artists is a real bonus. The Robin Hood Hotel in Charing Cross had BALKO in residence every Thursday night in June. They were supported by other local bands such as Cosmic Flanders, Mesmerisor, and Oscar and the Grouches. The mix of talent and music was second to none and it’s on our doorstep for the taking. BALKO mixed it up with their own original tunes, as well as a mixed bag of covers. The guys have a stage presence that keeps you wanting more and the clean sound they produce is worth a listen. They draw a mixed crowd, from 18 to 80! Finally, hats off to the Robin Hood for giving these talents a 14 The Beast | August 2016

chance to share their music with the local community. Keep an eye and ear out for these guys; you won't be disappointed. DK Waverley Waverley Cemetery Preserved To the Editor - Well it looks like the quiet, isolated zone in front of Waverley Cemetery will finally be left in peace. Council voted last week to follow the engineers' advice for remediation of the gully and repairs to the coastal walk footpath, which means that the pavilion idea has been relegated to history. We've always believed that the natural zone in front of the cemetery should be left untouched. There's about a kilometre of coastline between Bronte and Clovelly that doesn't have any beach, houses or shops, so it's very unusual in this city. It feels very remote and wild and undisturbed. It's a home to various raptors and other birds and wildlife, and it's a fine line that separates the beautiful Waverley Cemetery from the seemingly infinite vastness of the

Pacific Ocean. We at Residents for Waverley Cemetery (RWC) all agree that the most respectful and sensitive way to respond to it is to leave it as it is. Open, empty natural spaces are becoming a rarity in large cities and we must resist the constant attempts to fill them with objects and commercial activities. Chris Elliott Residents for Waverley Cemetery More Open Space at Bondi Beach I support the proposed underground car park at Bondi Beach because removing the cars would give us a lot of extra parkland, trees and pedestrian space. You only have to look at the concrete eyesore that is Queen Elizabeth Drive (QED) and imagine it covered in grass and shaded with trees to see the benefit. If you look at an aerial view of the beachfront it’s clear the overground car park takes up the same space as the greenery of Bondi Park! Converting all that asphalt and bitumen into parkland and pedestrian space is the equivalent of doubling the size of Bondi Park. All


that extra space means we can have more playgrounds, outdoor gyms, barbecues, tables and seating. There is more space for people to lay down a picnic blanket and kids to play. There is also the increased safety of not having a roadway divide the park/pavilion from the beach. Sydney’s population is forecast to double in the next 50 years. However, the amount of beaches and parks is not doubling. This means more and more people will visit Bondi. If people are complaining about the crowds and lack of space now, just wait. Walking on the pedestrian boulevard on a Sunday afternoon will be like squeezing onto a packed train. Therefore, it is surely a no-brainer that if there is the chance to acquire more open space we should take it. And what are the arguments against the proposal? The inconvenience for some drivers of walking an extra five minutes to their favourite spot on the beach! You must be joking? I myself park on QED and am happy to put up with this ‘inconvenience’. That is because I recognise that extra open space will benefit current and future generations. I also recognise that the majority of people visiting the beach come via public transport, walk or cycle. Those are the modes of transport that should be encouraged. Also, most drivers find parking on nearby streets. The people who regularly park on QED are a small fraction of beach users. Plus, they will still be catered for with an alternate car park. In 50 to 100 years, with increased density, a lot of local driving will be untenable anyway. The reality is we’ve got to move away from encouraging everyone to hop in their cars. In 1929, when the QED was built, the population of Sydney was 1.2 million. It is now 5 million. What was appropriate urban design in 1929 is not appropriate in 2029. It strikes me as the height of selfishness that a handful of drivers want to scupper a doubling of the recreation space because of the ‘inconvenience’ of not having their favourite car spot. How can that take precedence over the vast

majority of beach users? Removing the overground car parking and replacing it with trees and open space will benefit current and future generations. Mark Hersey Bondi Listen Up, Pearl So Pearl was inspired by the "saccharine literary effort" of Kyly to write of the Kremlin-looking building in Macpherson Street, which is undertaking a $63 million upgrade (Kyly Boldly Backs St Cath’s Development in New Book, Pearls of Wisdom, The Beast, July 2016). Looks like the Kremlin, acts like the Kremlin - even has its own Putin-esque sports car driven CEO! And as for the fear of Bankstown hoons? Pearl could join the elderly putting up posters about forthcoming meetings. Then Pearl could experience the well-educated bogans of St Catherine's chasing her in their P-plate autos, aping their mothers as they scream at the elderly to f**k off. Noice! A DeNIMB (Definitely Not In My Backyard) Dear Eastern Suburbs Royalty ▼ Dear Eastern Suburbs Royalty First of all let me thank you from the bottom of my unworthy heart for allowing commoners to even be in your presence let alone occupy the same parklands and suburban carriageways as you and your privileged brethren.

Nothing pleases me more than having to cower single file as we creep past your esteemed selves spread in resplendent glory across the boardwalk with your fulsome entourage (in more ways than one), accoutrements, and gargantuan baby carriages in tow. Please know that your humble servant expects nothing more than a sneering disregard of my intention to pass anonymously by as you stand unyielding and oblivious to all that surrounds you, as is your wont. Your expectation to remain unmolested by the barely tolerable unentitled folk in your midst is forever safe with me. Yours cringingly, Davide Randwick Democracy in Traction I attended the recent Waverley Council meeting on Tuesday, June 22. I can't recommend highly enough attending one such meeting, especially for any of you who believe in the integrity of our Liberal-dominated council. A more astonishing display of blatant disregard for truth and justice you've never seen. With the notable exception of one Liberal councillor, Joy Clayton, all the others seemed to vote in a block just for the sake of it. They vote and argue, but not for any principle in which they believe. It's all tactics, bullying, interruptions and gagging of the truth.

August 2016 | The Beast 15


The night’s petty and timeconsuming argument was over the minutes of a meeting that took place in May. The hot topic, which brought the community out in force, was the Bondi Pavilion Restoration and Upgrade project. That May council meeting was a fiery one. The public gallery included many of the same people who were at the previous month’s meeting. After keeping the gallery waiting for six hours, the mayor moved a motion to adjourn the meeting, stymieing the probing questions that were forthcoming. The vote was counted and Cr Betts proclaimed the adjournment. Cr Clayton loudly corrected the mayor to state that she had voted against it and was roundly ignored. Cr Betts then left the meeting with her Liberal colleagues - perhaps an honest mistake, perhaps not. The minutes then recorded this incorrectly as an agreement of adjournment. This was witnessed by more than 40 members of the gallery, as well as the Labor, Greens 16 The Beast | August 2016

and Independent councillors. The argument was about trying to correct the record so that the minutes reflected what actually happened. The vote on June 22 was lost - with one Liberal councillor (who had not attended the May meeting) allowed to vote on the accuracy of the minutes, giving them the numbers. Folks, you've really gotta see this to believe it. Democracy in traction. Tina Harris Bondi Follow the Road Rules ▲ Dear Mario Abdel-Sayed - Cheers for your essay - so there's four minutes of my life I won't get back. Ever. Stupidly I persisted reading your letter hoping to learn fantastical tales of police brutality or racial profiling and abuse at its worst. Alas, I was let down (like most lovers who leave my humble home at two in the morning after a Bondi Hotel pick-up).

Luckily I was multi-tasking and on the loo when I read your sob story (with no real point), so I've not lost too much sleep. I actually found that I was more interested in the lack of workmanship in the tiling on my bathroom floor than your note. Follow the road rules Mario, simple as that. Gargamel the Smurf Hunter Bondi Beach Strange Encounters with Police In regards to Mario Abdel-Sayed’s letter in The Beast in July (NSW Police on a Power Trip, Letters, The Beast, July 2016), I can understand your anger as I have had a few strange encounters with police behaviour. The female police officer stating that “the police are exempt from the law” – what?! When did that happen? I have heard this before from the police, but I thought no one was above the law including the police. What are they being taught in police training? If there are police who think they are


above the law, and believe they can do and say whatever they want to, we should be very afraid. I have dealt with plenty of police in my work and they are generally good, decent people, but then you come across some who have this oversized ego and say some really stupid things. They try to intimidate you by overreacting and using aggressive language and big headed behaviour because they are in uniform, carry a gun and believe they can get away with it. They leave you feeling a bit rattled by their behaviour and I suspect that they do it because they can. In one incident we were having a party that got a bit loud and a bit late, so naturally there was a complaint and the police were at our front door. The moment I came to the front door I decided it was better to keep the screen door shut and locked. The female police officer was really angry, stating that she had to ring the doorbell four times to get our attention, so understandably she was annoyed. We were too loud and I agreed with them that we needed to quieten down. It was the young police officer who really concerned me. I could see he was chomping at the bit to have his say. He started yelling at me, doing a jumping up and down movement, with his hand on his gun! You might say that sort of took me aback. In another incident I was booked for going over the speed limit. The road had no traffic on it except for the car in front of me, which kept slowing up and then accelerating. He kept doing this and at one point when he slowed down he started moving over to the side of the road, so I thought he was going to park. I decided that I would overtake him while he was making his move and as I overtook him he accelerated again. I should have pulled back, but as he was now starting to annoy me I made the wrong decision and decided to keep going, so I ended up doing 65km/h in a 50km/h zone. As a note I am not in the habit of speeding, but it was just one of those days when your at-

tention span and tolerance is just above zero. I actually thought it was a 60km/h zone, but as fate would have it a police car was up behind me with his lights and siren on. There was no problem with his parking ability as in Mario Abdel-Sayed’s incident, but this officer was not a happy person. I do understand and have empathy as it must frustrate the police when people speed, but I think this one really got out of the wrong side of bed. He called me lazy and stupid! Gee, thanks Mr Police Officer, I am certainly foolish for not obeying the speed limit and I should have paid more attention to the speed zone, but I am not lazy and stupid! I’ve been a registered nurse for a long, long time (we won’t go into how many years) and I have my own nursing business. I really wanted to say it to him, but I didn’t because I was in the wrong and I felt like if I even coughed he would have had me in handcuffs. He just could have handled it in a different way. I think some officers need to remember that many of the people they are talking to are intelligent beings and the police using their position of power to make people feel like they are worthless morons is really not in the best interests of anyone. This is not a letter to ridicule the police – on the contrary I have enormous respect for them and I have dealt with many good and professional police. Some of the situations they have to face would be absolutely horrifying, frustrating, and very dangerous. As a registered nurse I have seen this coming through the emergency room. The things the police see must cause some of them a bad night’s sleep. I am concerned, however, that there does seem to be a fraction of them who seem to treat the public with contempt and really need to be pulled in to line. This element can unfortunately leave you feeling a bit distrustful of the police. With exception of the minority, people are good and law abiding citizens, and intelligent. Simply because they do an illegal left hand turn

or on the odd occasion don’t abide by the noise laws does not make them criminals. If they did the left hand turn at 80km/h and on two wheels I would agree that they are an idiot, but there are some police officers who think they are all-powerful and view it as part of their job to treat members of the public in a rude, aggressive and humiliating manner. All it takes is one to give the many a bad name. If the incident played out as Mario described then all the officer had to do was discuss what Mario had done in an intelligent and non-aggressive manner, then issue a ticket. Perhaps if he had been less aggressive Mario would not have felt the need to get out of the car and therefore the officer would not have felt the need to call back-up support. How ridiculous. Mario may not have been too pleased about the ticket, but he would not have left the scene feeling so upset, angry and somewhat humiliated. It was just all so unnecessary. Grace Coogee

The Beast Publisher The Beast Pty Ltd ABN 32 143 796 801 www.thebeast.com.au Editors james@thebeast.com.au dan@thebeast.com.au Advertising Enquiries advertising@thebeast.com.au www.thebeast.com.au/advertise Circulation 61,000 copies of The Beast are distributed every month. 55,500 are placed in mailboxes and 5,500 in local shopfronts. PEFC Certified The Beast is printed on paper sourced from sustainably managed forests. Letters To The Editor Please email your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au. August 2016 | The Beast 17


Darcy Age 3 years Sex Male Breed Maltese x Shihtzu Weight 4.4kg

Why didn't we know about these earlier?

Thumbs Up HALAL SNACK PACKS (HSP) – Meat, chips, cheese, sauce (preferably the holy trinity – garlic, chilli, barbecue), served in a Styrofoam container. Yum. A RESULT – No one likes a hung parliament, and thankfully the Coalition avoided one. Just. It's going to be an interesting few years of politics. SNOW – There have been a few big dumps in our Aussie alpine areas and we can’t wait to dust off the Telemark skis and get down there. THE CITY2SURF – We call it the ‘unofficial end of winter’. It’s been a bloody cold one, so this year we’re really hoping that the title holds true. BATCHO EL BARBERO – Our mate Stacy Batchelor cuts homeless people’s hair out of the goodness of his heart. You’re a bloody legend Batcho!

Thumbs Down DRAWN OUT ELECTION – It’s usually all over in less than a day, but it took Bill Shorten more than a week to eventually concede defeat. SPORT – Apart from the Swans, pretty much every team or player we support has struggled to win anything this year. BREXIT – We’re still coming to terms with the fact that the UK is leaving Europe. There’s probably no need to renew that British passport now. AMERICA AND GUNS – Another month, another spate of shootings in the land of the free, and yet they still won’t tighten their gun laws. Morons. EUROPEAN POSERS – We’ve had just about enough of people posting pics of their European summer vacations on social media. Quit it you posers! 18 The Beast | August 2016

Darcy is a sweet, shy little boy. He is tentative about being picked up and cuddled, and is unsure about walking on lead. He is a very playful dog around other young dogs. Darcy has a Grade 5/6 heart murmur. At this stage he should be treated as a normal dog, but he needs regular monitoring. He comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. He has a non-shedding coat and weighs 4.4kg. His adoption cost is $400. For further details, give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email monika@doggierescue.com or visit the website at www.doggierescue.com.

Honeydew Age 15 years Sex Female Breed Beagle Weight 14.4kg Honeydew is a beautiful, gentle lady. She listens to commands and is very social with other dogs. She is easy to handle and has an affectionate nature. Honeydew came from the pound with a pendulous mass that has since been removed. She is a sweet granny girl that likes a slow walk. She has a short coat and weighs 14.4kg. She comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. Her adoption cost is $450. For further details, give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email monika@doggierescue.com or visit the website at www.doggierescue.com.

Jasper Age 6 years Sex Male Breed Shihtzu X Chihuahua Weight 5.1kg Jasper is such a sweet little boy that needs some gentle handling. He is getting used to being picked up and he is making headway with his itchy skin and very sore ears. Unfortunately over the years he has been a very neglected dog and he needs patience and time to trust. He has a low-shedding coat and weighs 5.1kg. He comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free and microchipped. His adoption cost is $400. For further details, give Doggie Rescue a call on 9486 3133, email monika@doggierescue.com or visit the website at www.doggierescue.com.


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Counting the Cost of the Sydney Super Storm Clean-Up Words Madeleine Gray Picture Franck Gazzola Instagram @frothersgallery

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f you were around Sydney in early June, chances are you were aware that there was some serious meteorological shit going down. Over 200 millimetres of rain poured over Sydney across a three-day period as the freak storm raged, and while Collaroy’s ‘pool-gate’ monopolised a lot of media attention, the Eastern Beaches coastline was also battered. Bondi Beach escaped severe damage, with the exception of a lone green water tank that found its way on to the sand and some coastal walk carnage around the corner at ‘the boot’. Bronte Beach wasn’t so lucky, with the foreshore taking a serious hammering; large chunks of the beach’s retaining wall were washed away, and the public bathrooms at both ends of the beach were flooded. While no internal structural damage occurred, the brickwork outside the southern toilet block did collapse. Further along the coast, sections of the Bondi to Bronte coastal walk were decimated. Particularly dramatic was the damage done to the section of the walk that runs alongside Waverley Cemetery. A spokesperson for Waverley Council told The Beast that while

20 The Beast | August 2016

no cost and repair schedule is publicly available, funding had been approved to repair the damage. “Council on June 21 approved funding for the Bronte Beach restoration works ($862,000), coastal walk below Hunter Park restoration ($250,000) and Waverley Cemetery coastal walk restoration ($2 million),” the spokesperson said. “National Disaster Relief and Recovery Arrangements funding has also been applied for all works, in order to recover as many of the costs as possible.” At this stage some repair work is still ongoing, and some areas of the coastal walk remain unsafe. “The community can be assured that officers are working hard to reopen the damaged areas as soon as they are ready and safe,” the Council spokesperson said. “Council has also installed signage and fencing at key locations where the coastal walk has been damaged, and would like to remind the community to obey these signs.” Further south, both Coogee and Maroubra beaches saw major sand displacement, but Coogee bore the brunt of the carnage. Many brick steps at Coogee Beach became

displaced, pumice littered the shore, and the six-metre king tide smashed into and collapsed the eastern wall of the Coogee Surf Life Saving Club. “It’s certainly the biggest catastrophe we’ve ever faced... we’ve lost all the windows, the hall, the gym is a total write-off,” Club President Mark Doepel said. Over 150 local clubbies chipped in to help clean up the wreckage, and while final numbers on the full financial cost of the storm are yet to be released, Mr Doepel said that club members “are determined to rebuild.” According to Member for Coogee Bruce Notley-Smith, the NSW Government worked with the local councils to ensure that repairs got underway promptly. “Premier Mike Baird fasttracked disaster declarations, so that gave local councils access to the money to get to work and fix these structures straight away,” he said. At the time, joint NSW/Commonwealth natural disaster relief and recovery arrangements were activated for Waverley, Randwick and Woollahra Local Government Areas.


Do you think our local councils did a good job of the super storm clean-up? Words & Pictures Madeleine Gray

Lauren, Randwick Yes, I think they did. I go past the beach often and I think it was cleaned up pretty quickly. I also know that a lot of locals helped clean up, which really is very impressive.

Matt, Waverley Yeah, I think they did a pretty good job. We weren’t affected that much, but the beaches all look basically sweet now.

Naomi, Bondi Beach No, I don’t think they did a good job. We still have garbage bags of green debris outside our house that haven’t been picked up by Waverley Council, even though we organised a pick-up.

Tony, Tamarama I suppose they did a fine job, in that I haven’t noticed much remaining debris still in the area. Thumbs up.

Nichola, Charing Cross I think they did an admirable job, all things considered – because it’s pretty tough in those big storms.

Will, Maroubra Yeah, I’ve got lots of time for all those council workers who did the hard yards and fixed everything up. What a pack of champs. August 2016 | The Beast 21


Ironman champion Barry Rodgers dedicated his life to teaching kids to swim.

Ironman Icon Barry Rodgers Remembered Words Madeleine Gray Picture St Catherine's School

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ome people are institutions in and of themselves. They carry with them a sense of strength and fortitude. St Catherine’s School swimming coach and Ironman champion Barry Rodgers was one of these people. Barry passed away on June 7, 2016, after a long and private battle with cancer. He was 74 years old. Chances are that if you or your kids went to swimming training at St Cath’s, you knew Barry. He was the one standing behind the diving boards, emanating an unmistakable air of authority. Starting at St. Cath’s in 1981, Barry soon became more than just a swimming coach. As well as being promoted to Head Swimming Coach and Pool Manager, Barry introduced the after school learn-to-swim program, which still exists today. He was also an integral part of the St. Cath’s water polo program. St. Catherine’s Headmistress Dr Julie Townsend praised Barry’s contribution to the school. “He was the embodiment of grit and determination, striving always to do his best and the best for the girls in his care,” she said. “In his ca-

22 The Beast | August 2016

reer at St. Catherine’s he rarely took a day’s sick leave, and was training girls right up until the end.” If you’re involved in surf lifesaving, you’ll probably know that it was Barry and his mate Hayden Kenny who first introduced Ironman racing to Australia, and that Barry won the national Ironman title on a number of occasions. Barry was an unavoidable presence in the surf lifesaving community. He won nine national surf lifesaving titles and was a proud member of Maroubra Surf club for 60 years. On April 16 this year, Barry made his way up to the Sunshine Coast to watch the ‘Aussies’ (Australian Surf Life Saving Championships) and celebrate 50 years of Ironman. That’s the kind of guy he was. Despite being sick, he pulled through to see everyone one last time. According to event organiser and former Australian Ironman champion Greg Allum, it was Barry’s desire to see the half century realised that helped him keep fighting. “It’s been said that he just hung out for that event,” Mr Allum said.

“He was so looking forward to it and having a great time.” Since news of his passing has spread, there has been an outpouring of grief and public remembrance – it seems that everyone has a story to tell about Barry, and about how he touched their lives. Maroubra resident Luke Platt shared his Barry memory online. “I joined Maroubra Surf Club when I was 12 years of age,” he said. “One of the first blokes I met was Baz Rodgers. “I felt nervous meeting such a club and surf lifesaving icon, but Baz treated me that day as he did throughout my whole career at the surf club: he was welcoming, friendly and kind.” Throughout his life, Barry was honoured in the Sport Australia Hall of Fame, the Surf Life Saving Association Ironman Hall of Fame and the NutriGrain Hall of Legends. Before his death, St Catherine’s School also created the Barry Rodgers Aquatic Athlete of the Year speech night award in his honour. Vale Barry Rodgers - a local legend and an Australian inspiration. You will be missed.


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Bits & Pieces from Around the Beaches... Words Madeleine Gray Picture Franck Gazzola Instagram @frothersgallery

Waverley Park Oval Opened Mayor Sally Betts has officially opened Waverley Park Oval’s exciting synthetic field. This marks the completion of the new and improved No. 2 field, which will be available for use by sporting clubs, schools and the community. The field will cater for a wide range of sports including football, cricket, rugby union, rugby league and Gaelic football. Lighting and synthetic turf for both fields and the oval will mean No. 2 field will be open all year round, rather than closed for a few months of the year. Visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au. Kids Train with a Champ Are your kids budding runners, or just super energetic? Either way, local legend and two-time City2Surf winner Lara Tamsett has got just the thing for you. When Lara was a kid in the Eastern Suburbs wanting to run and learn endurance, she found that there weren’t many options. As such, she’s now started a junior long distance running group called Mini Milers to fill the gap! It’s aimed at 6-12

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year-olds, and the group meets every Tuesday and Thursday arvo for long distance running training at Centennial Park. Email laratamsett@icloud.com for more info. Travel Train Volunteers Needed The Holdsworth Community Centre is looking for volunteers to ‘travel train’ people of all needs and abilities within our community. Travel training is a practical approach to support independence and social inclusion. If you can spare approximately 15 hours to train and assist someone in the community to access public transport, they would love to hear from you. Please contact the Holdsworth community links officer Georgie Zuzak on 9302 3600. Centennial Park Equestrian Centre Upgrade The Centennial Park Equestrian Centre will receive a $1.87 million upgrade as part of this year’s NSW Budget. The funds will go towards safety and compliance work at the historic centre, as well as improvements and upgrades. “Centen-

nial Park Equestrian Centre is an incredible asset for Sydney, sitting just 5km from the CBD,” member for Coogee Bruce Notley-Smith said. He added that about 175,000 patrons used the Equestrian Centre each year. “These upgrades are part of the government’s commitment to ensure the centre’s future for generations of horse riders to come.” Giddy up. Minus 18 Making a Difference Minus 18 is Australia’s largest youth led organisation for gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans youth. It provides mental health support, social events (movie nights, beach days, Mardi Gras banner decorating), dance parties, and of course the annual same sex gender diverse formal, so that teens can go to their formal without the pressure that accompanies schoolyard heteronormativity. If you know someone who would benefit from getting involved, tell them to check out minus18. org.au, and if you want to donate, head to chuffed.org/organisations/ minus18.


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Click go the shears Batcho.

A Bloke with a Pair of Scissors and Time to Help Words Madeleine Gray Picture Grant Brooks

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ow do you give back to the community when you don’t have much money? Stacy Batchelor from Clovelly knows the answer: time. Your time is the best thing that you can give to people in need. Batchelor works in digital sales management, and as much as he enjoys “finding the best celebrities to market products”, he admits “media is a consuming identity”. He wanted to find something else to concentrate on, and for that something to be non-self-serving. A mate suggested that he become a barber, and instead of dismissing the proposition as comic banter, Batchelor saw an opportunity to help the homeless community in the Eastern Suburbs. And so Batcho el Barbero was born. “When you don’t have a home, you can’t have a shower, you can’t clean yourself up,” Mr Batchelor told The Beast. “Your hair gets unkempt, and people judge you because of that. They assume you’re crazy or something.” After crowdfunding a TAFE barbering course, Batchelor started 26 The Beast | August 2016

setting up shop at Norman Andrews House in Bondi, giving free haircuts to the homeless men there. “The best thing about it is that you just make a guy’s life a bit better,” Mr Batchelor explained. “For some of these guys it’s just about having personal contact. Having a bit of chat, a handshake, and a pat on the back. “For guys who live on the street, that’s super important. That’ll probably be the first touch contact they’ve had with another person in ages.” He’s not wrong. Think about the last time you shook hands with a homeless person. Exactly. Batchelor has now signed on to do haircuts for the kids at WAYS Youth Centre in Bondi, too. “We have a laugh with the grommets, make them look a bit fly,” he laughed. “I’m not a serious person. Kids think I’m a crazy bearded wrestler.” When questioned as to what he thinks is the biggest reason guys are ending up on the street, Mr Batchelor answered without hesitation. “It’s mental health,” he said.

“There is not enough support for mental health. “When you lose your home because of it, a cycle begins, and you can’t get back in front.” However, as much as time is the most important thing, Mr Batchelor admits that “to be able to give, you have to have some money, otherwise your own lifestyle suffers”. As such, Batcho El Barbero also does haircuts for money, through a mobile service. Give them a call, and Batcho and the team will come to your place and “have a haircut party – a bev, some banter, and we’ll clean up after”. Paying customers also have the option of giving $10 to ‘pre-pay’ a cut for the homeless – just enough to keep the scissors sharp and the hair gel in supply. The plan for the future is to expand, and to build up a network of barbers and charities across Australian cities. Ideally, Mr Batchelor would like to do barbering fulltime, which would allow him to subsidise the charity side of things. If you want to get involved, or get a stylish cut for yourself, check out www.batchoelbarbero.com.


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What the f**k?

More Development Angst for Bronte Locals Words & Pictures Duncan Horscroft

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ocals once had a major say about new developments around their properties, but it seems any objections to a CDC (complying development certificate) are falling on deaf ears. A CDC allows developers to obtain approval through private certification. It appears Waverley Council can’t act on residents’ pleas when a new building appears to have gone beyond the legal boundaries after being signed off and put in the hands of an independent certifier. A major battle has been going on in Bronte over a multi-storey home being built between Bronte Road and Gardyne Street. It is alleged that the development is not compliant and that the height has exceeded its legal limit. A group of nearby residents has fought to have the matter dealt with by Council, but because of the legalities involved in the matter, Council has backed down, not wanting to get involved in a court case where compensation might have to be paid. The independent certifier assigned to the project has also turned his back on protests, refus-

28 The Beast | August 2016

ing to talk to residents other than through a lawyer. Local state member Bruce Notley-Smith visited the site and was convinced there were irregularities, while Deputy Leader of the Opposition Michael Daley has also been involved and was of the opinion the development had “gone too far”. So where do the residents stand if no one is listening to them? One of the major issues is that if there is an objection and action to be taken, the matter must be dealt with in the Land and Environment Court, a cost that must be worn by those protesting the anomalies if they lose the case. Local resident Annie Byrne, whose property is affected by the development, said the idea that we all have equal access to the courts is ridiculous. “As a teacher I earn $50,000 a year; enough to pay my bills, put food on the table and educate my children,” she said. “I do not have endless funds to have barristers act on my behalf. “Stock responses from Waverley Council and one of its councillors

to ‘take it to the L&E Court’ are insulting. “Short of taking out another loan, what recourse does a person like me have when the legislation is flawed or ambiguous at best?” According to Waverley Labor Councillor Paula Masselos, Council can challenge the validity of a CDC, but is reluctant to do so because of the possible legal costs involved. “If one looked hard enough we would find a number of mistakes in most CDCs,” she said. “Some private certifiers are starting to push people towards councils to issue the CDCs, presumably because it is easy to make a mistake when issuing one. “I think most people in the community prefer an independent body such as a council doing these development applications. “Most people think it’s better to go back to a DA process and not have any CDCs in Bronte. It’s better that the council gets back that power.” It appears too late for the Gardyne Street residents, but they are still fighting the issue despite the development nearing completion.


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More Bits & Pieces from Around the Beaches... Words Madeleine Gray Picture Fi Shep Instagram @photogra_fi

Ideas for Kensington Park Upgrade Randwick City Council is currently asking people to share their ideas for the future of Kensington Park and Oval as part of a community consultation program to develop a plan for the park for the next decade. A much-loved sports ground and an important place for local residents and families, the aim of the consultation is to gather ideas on how the park could be improved to address the recreation needs of the growing and changing population, as well as better ways to link the park with the surrounding neighbourhood. Brainstorm away, and submit ideas at www.yoursayrandwick.com.au/ kensingtonpark. New Theft Reporting System Vaucluse MP Gabrielle Upton and Coogee MP Bruce Notley-Smith have urged residents to make use of a new community crime reporting portal offering a quick and secure way to report crime in the Eastern Suburbs. The NSW Police Force Community Portal gives members

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of the public the option to report lost property, theft and intentional damage including graffiti online via a secure, efficient and convenient platform. The NSW Police Force Community Portal can be accessed via www.police.nsw.gov.au/community_portal/home. Temporary Coogee Lifeguard Office With construction of new toilets, showers and change rooms on the lower promenade of Coogee Beach getting underway, the Coogee Beach Lifeguard Office has been temporarily relocated along the promenade towards the middle of the beach. The Mayor of Randwick, Noel D’Souza, advised beachgoers that the lifeguards will continue their normal patrols via their new temporary home. Please visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au. Randwick Town Hall Upgrade Randwick Town Hall will be repaired, re-roofed and upgraded with a lift to meet accessibility standards as part of the first stage of a multi-staged upgrade by

Randwick City Council. “Regardless of what happens with council amalgamations, Randwick Town Hall will remain in council ownership and continue to be an important civic space for our community. But we cannot do nothing, and need to preserve and enhance the building,” Mayor Noel D’Souza said. For more information, please visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au. Bronte Couple Steps Up Bravo to Bronte couple Alex Baker and husband Geoff who, for a week this July, ate the exact same food rations that a Syrian refugee living in a camp in Jordan receives, so as to raise urgently needed funds and awareness as part of the Act for Peace Ration Challenge. By putting themselves in the shoes of a refugee for just one week, they got a small glimpse into one of the daily struggles faced by refugees. Alex and her husband have raised over $5,000. For more information about the Ration Challenge, please visit www.actforpeace.rationchallenge.org.au.


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Professor Colleen Loo is leading two non-medication treatment trials with the Sydney Neurostimulation Centre.

Medication-Free Treatments a Boost for Local Depression Sufferers Words Madeleine Gray Picture UNSW

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epression is an illness we don’t like to talk about. Perhaps it’s because we can’t see it that it frightens us so much. But Beyond Blue’s latest stats suggest that 45 per cent of Australians will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime. Depression rates in the Eastern Suburbs are high. Rates of depression go up in high-stress industries, and in the lives of those who find themselves living the same mundane day over and over again. A lot of people suffer in silence. Professor Colleen Loo of UNSW says depression sufferers are often “struggling to think… like their brain is in a fog. But on the outside, they look well. So people don’t understand what’s wrong.” Some ‘lucky’ sufferers feel supported enough to seek psychological help. For many of these people, medication is beneficial: a treatment of anti-depressants combined with regular psychological or psychiatric sessions can be enough to gradually lift the burden that depression imposes. However, others diagnosed with depression do not want to take the medication route. Perhaps 32 The Beast | August 2016

it’s because they are affected by the stigma that still surrounds anti-depressants. Perhaps their biology is not compatible with the medicine. Perhaps their condition is such that it would be difficult for them to remember, or continue to desire, to take their medication. Speaking from experience, it is very tempting to stop taking your anti-depressants when you are feeling better. Sometimes something more than medication is necessary. As such, Professor Colleen Loo, who has over 20 years’ experience in researching potential new treatments for depression, is leading two non-medication treatment trials with the Sydney Neurostimulation Centre research team at the Black Dog Institute. The treatments being trialled are called Transcranial Direct Current Stimulation (tDCS) and Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS). Don’t let the medical jargon freak you out. These names are basically just fancy ways of describing processes that use low electric currents to stimulate the parts of the brain that cease to function well when a person has depression.

tDCS is offered as an alternative to anti-depressants. Patients must undergo 20 half-hour sessions over four weeks, in which electrodes on the scalp deliver constant low currents to the underactive parts of the brain. It is a painless process, and involvement in the trial at the Black Dog Institute is free for participants. TMS runs on a similar basis. Magnetic fields, generated by a simple coil placed on the head, are used to stimulate a small area of the brain. Participation in this course, however, is not free: sessions are $180 each, and the recommended course involves more than 20 sessions over consecutive weekdays. A referral from a GP or psychiatrist is necessary. Whether or not you or someone you know decides to partake in either of these trials, it is still extremely heartening to see that scientific advances in curing depression continue to be made. Depression is a silent killer, and we need to make it heard. For more information regarding the tDCS and TMS trials, email TMSandDCS@unsw.edu.au, go to www.blackdoginstitute.org.au, or call 9382 2987.


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Two-time City2Surf winner Lara Tamsett.

Last Minute City2Surf Tips from a True Blue Champion Words Madeleine Gray Picture John McGrath

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re you a runner, or just someone who likes to watch others suffer? Either way, this is the month for you. Come August 14, Sydney’s streets will once again be chock-a-block with sweaty-chested Lycra wearing runners battling it out in the annual City2Surf. These days it seems as though you can’t throw a jalapeno without hitting a marathon or charity race in Sydney, but there is no question that the City2Surf is the jewel in the fun run crown. Established in 1971, the race sees amateurs and elite athletes alike strut their stuff all the way from Hyde Park to Bondi Beach. It’s now the biggest fun run of its kind in the world, and races have hosted up to 80,000 competitors in previous years. 27 year-old local legend Lara Tamsett has won the race both times she has competed in it (2010 and 2012), so she’s a chick who knows where it’s at when it comes to taking on the 14-kilometre course. She stresses that what makes the City2Surf different to any

34 The Beast | August 2016

other race in the world is “the fact that you are cheered from start to finish”. So how early do you have to start preparing if you want to have a real crack at securing the title? “I will factor in the demands of the race about three months out, and start incorporating that into my training,” Ms Tamsett told The Beast. According to Ms Tamsett, doing extra hill work in the months leading up the C2S is crucial. “You have to get ready for Heartbreak Hill,” she said. And no, that doesn’t mean getting a chocolate shot from Perfection Chocolates at the base of the famous Rose Bay incline. Ms Tamsett believes a non-elite athlete can get fit enough to finish the race in six to 12 weeks, so if you’re yet to start training, you could be in for some pain. “Obviously, the longer and harder you train, the faster you will go on race day,” she said. If you want to imitate the diet of a champion, Tamsett reveals

that her go-to pre-race brekky is a banana on toast with honey. In terms of strategy, if you’re an amateur, just try not to pass out. If you’re in it to win it, it’s best to heed Ms Tamsett’s advice. “If it looks like it will be a close race, I will generally sit in the lead pack and try to conserve my energy as much as possible for a strong finish,” she said. “If it's just me against the clock, I will work out my target time and splits before, and make sure I run an even-paced race. I would also try to sit off a few men to help pull me through.” Ms Tamsett isn’t racing this year due to a few injury setbacks, and neither are a bunch of top athletes who’ll be over in Rio, so that means that the title could realistically be yours for the taking (at least until Tamsett triumphantly returns next year). So pick a charity – the Black Dog Institute’s ‘Exercise Your Mood’ initiative is a Tamsett favourite – and get running. We’ll greet you with a cold beer at the end.


Even More Bits & Pieces from Around the Beaches... Words Madeleine Gray Picture Franck Gazzola Instagram @frothersgallery

Malabar Headland Western Walking Track Approved Construction on a walking track through the western part of the newly declared Malabar Headland National Park will commence later this year after Randwick City Council approved the $2 million project at a recent council meeting. Mayor of Randwick Noel D’Souza said the Western Walking Track will extend the popular Coastal Walkway from South Maroubra Beach to Malabar Beach via a 1.15km boardwalk, complete with ample seating and viewing areas. New Roads Injury Scheme In great news for Eastern Suburbs motorists and people injured on NSW roads, Member for Coogee Bruce Notley-Smith and Member for Vaucluse Gabrielle Upton have announced that the NSW Government will overhaul the Compulsory Third Party Motor Accident Insurance Scheme to make it fairer and more affordable for road users. The new scheme will provide defined benefits to all

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people injured in motor accidents, removing the need for claimants to prove to an insurer who was at fault. Feel Better Box Feel Better Box offers a unique care package service helping Australia feel better one box at a time. They have gift boxes for every occasion: cold and flu, new mums, children, hospital stays and more. Sending a care package in the post is like sending a big hug. Nothing warms the heart like a surprise in the post, especially in a time of need. Packed full of essential items, there is nothing else quite like it. To send a Feel Better Box to someone in need, visit www.feelbetterbox.com.au. Texts from Malcolm If you’re on Instagram, you should probably start following ‘Texts from Malcolm’, ASAP. The account is dedicated to memes focused on the imagined text dialogues of our silver fox local member. One of the best in our opinion is from a few months ago, in which Pauline Hanson tells

Malcolm that she is “Taking a no Muslim platform to the election”, to which Malc responds, “I’m going to have your bullshit Halal certified. So bogans stop eating it up.” Gold. Randwick Sports Awards Nominations Open Nominations for Randwick City Council’s annual Sports Awards are now open, with residents encouraged to nominate their local sporting heroes to acknowledge their excellence, commitment and achievement in sport. There are three categories for nomination, including the Randwick City Junior Sports Award – Male and Female categories, which are open to primary school children aged from five to 12 years; the Bradley Matthews Memorial Award for Sporting Excellence, which is open to school students aged from 13 to 18 years; and finally, the Randwick City Hall of Sporting Champions, which is open to all residents. For more information, go to www. randwick.nsw.gov.au. Get nominating, y’all!


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Why the long face?

Community Race Day Returns to Royal Randwick Words Dan Hutton Picture Tom Waterhouse

H

orse racing returns to Royal Randwick this month, with the Randwick Community Race Day set to welcome locals of all ages to the track on Saturday, August 20. Randwick Mayor Noel D’Souza told The Beast that the race day was part of a now well-established partnership between Randwick City Council and the Australian Turf Club. "I am pleased we’ve been able to partner for the third year with the Australian Turf Club to offer a family-friendly day at Royal Randwick for our community," Cr D’Souza said. Cr D’Souza said that the racecourse has played an important part in Randwick’s unique history and is still a key component in attracting visitors to the local area. "Royal Randwick has a rich history in our area that dates back 150 years,” he said. “It's a landmark location, attracting visitors to our area and 38 The Beast | August 2016

contributing significantly to our local and national economy.” The family friendly Community Race Day features a nine-race line-up highlighted by the Group 2 Pro-Ride Warwick Stakes, as well as a range of activities to keep the kids entertained. There’ll be face painting, airbrush tattoo artists, a petting zoo, pony rides, a jumping castle and the much-anticipated Dorothy the Dinosaur Show. Randwick residents are entitled to two free general admission adult tickets per household, which need to be redeemed online prior to race day. To redeem your tickets, visit www.theATC.com.au/randwick, click on ‘Get Tickets’ and fill out your details – it’s that simple. Tickets are valued at $15 each, so you’d be silly to miss out. Better still, all children under 18 years of age get free entry when accompanied by a parent or guardian. Guests can also purchase deluxe

picnic hampers, bar platters, and book into one of the many trackside dining options through the ATC website. When asked why Randwick locals should make their way down to Royal Randwick on August 20, Cr D’Souza didn’t mince words. “This annual Community Race Day offers locals of all ages the chance to visit free of charge one of Australia’s most famous sporting destinations,” he said. With excitement building towards the 2016 Sydney Spring Carnival, this is your chance to preview the iconic Royal Randwick racecourse as it gears up for another action-packed, fun-filled festival of thoroughbred racing at its finest. While there is said to be no such thing as a free lunch, in the Randwick municipality there is such thing as a free race day, so dust off your best suit or frock, pile the kids into the back of a cab and get your backside trackside.


If you have ever wanted to go to The Races, here is your chance. All Randwick City residents and ratepayers are invited to attend the Randwick Community Race Day on 20 August at Royal Randwick Racecourse. This free event, proudly hosted by Randwick City Council and the Australian Turf Club, features a nine race line-up, highlighted by The Randwick Mayor’s Cup. Kids will enjoy free activities and entertainment including instant photo printing, a Dorothy the Dinosaur Show, pony rides, petting zoo, airbrush tattoos, face painting, bungee trampolines and a jumping castle. The Community Race Day is our way of giving back to the people of Randwick City and opening up this landmark location for one and all to enjoy. For more information, refer to the flyer in your recent rates notice or visit australianturfclub.com.au/randwick to register for your tickets. There are more accolades in store for our sporting community this year, with nominations to Randwick City Council’s Sports Awards 2016, now open. Residents are encouraged to nominate sporting heroes of all ages before 1 August via randwick. nsw.gov.au nsw.gov.au, for the October awards ceremony. Randwick boasts many talented sports people and the Randwick City Council Sports Awards 2016 are the perfect way to recognise their achievements and valued contribution to our community.

Councillor Noel D’Souza Mayor of Randwick @randwickmayor 2 August Teen Page to Stage 4:30-6:00pm Bowen Library

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30 August Instagram for Beginners 7:00-8:00pm Bowen Library

1300 722 542 council@randwick.nsw.gov.au www.randwick.nsw.gov.au PHOTO: COOGEE BEACH


Celia's competition-winning photo, taken in Karlsborg, Sweden.

Behind the Lens with Celia Ruiz de Castilla Words Madeleine Gray Picture Celia Ruiz de Castilla

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sk anyone involved in the arts and they will tell you that the arts in Australia are seriously underfunded. As such, it is incredibly heartwarming to know that there are still legends out there dedicated to creating spaces for artists, no matter what. THE SPACE Gallery (www.thespacegallery.com.au) is a new Sydney pop-up gallery on Hunter Street dedicated to showcasing vibrant and colourful exhibitions by local artists. Its latest initiative, Behind the Lens, was a landscape photography competition proudly sponsored by The Beast. According to gallery owner Pascal Rajek, the competition was designed to “allow photographers with a love of the landscape and seascape to display their talent.” During the month we had a chat with competition winner Celia Ruiz de Castilla…

describe it. The calm, being alone with myself, was wonderful. I had a strong sense of isolation; it was powerful being utterly on my own. The woods elicited this feeling from me and I felt like that place was just for me.

What was the inspiration for your photograph? The inspiration for the photo was to capture the mood of that moment; walking in the forest was so peaceful I could not

Are you a professional photographer, or a hobbyist? I am a student of photography. I am completing my last year of a Diploma of Photo Imaging at TAFE Ultimo. My hope

40 The Beast | August 2016

Where was the photograph taken? The photo was taken in Karlsborg, Sweden. My good friend lives in Karlsborg, so it is very dear to me. How many frames did it take you to get the right shot? This photograph was taken on only the second shot. I'm not a photographer who makes much of waiting for a shot to come to me, hoping beyond hope that it will make itself perfect as I wait. My philosophy is to let the photographer find the shot, rather than expecting the shot to find them.

is to be a professional photographer. You can see more of my work at www.celiardcphotography.com.au. What do you think the role of visual art is in our society today? In our society we are surrounded by images taken for the purpose of advertising or similar functions. The role of visual art is the expression of everything outside of such constraints. It is to be beautiful for beauty's sake, or striking for thought's sake. Visual art pieces are the sights in our society that move our hearts and not our wallets. For you, what is the intersection between landscape photography and environmental awareness? Landscape photography is an excellent way to promote environmental awareness to the public. Ask any person what they think of the savanna and images from National Geographic will pop into their minds. Despite living in urban environments, anybody who is shown beautiful natural images only ever wants to conserve the environment for future generations.


MAYOR‘S MESSAGE Name Your New Council competition results Thank you to the residents who participated in Randwick and Waverley’s Name Your New Council competition. It was great to see the creativeness of our residents in the submissions. The winning name, voted by the majority of residents and consequently selected by myself and Randwick Mayor, Noel D’Souza is one that we all feel is most reflective of the area we live in and was the most inclusive and memorable – Eastern Beaches Council. The name Eastern Beaches Council celebrates our coastal lifestyle and our eastern suburbs location and evokes a sense of community pride for the beautiful place we live in. Congratulations to the residents who voted for this name – we had 66 winners! We will soon be in contact with you with details of your prize.

Waverley Art Prize For the past 30 years Waverley Council has recognised, nurtured and awarded our artistic community by way of the Waverley Art Prize. It’s an important and long-standing commitment Council has made to the arts and culture. This year we received 386 entries and of those, 50 have been listed as finalists by our esteemed Judge, Mr Tim Olsen, co-Director of Olsen Irwin Gallery in Woollahra. Council is delighted to be sponsoring three of the categories: The Open Prize, the Mayor’s Prize, and the ‘People’s Choice’ prize. I would like to thank Waverley-Woollahra Art School and our other loyal sponsors, Art Spectrum and Matisse Derivan. An exhibition of all entries will be displayed at the Waverley-Woollahra Art School until 14 July. The ‘People’s Choice’ award is open for voting after we announce the winners of the Open and Mayor’s Prize tomorrow night. Please pop in and see what amazing talent we have and be sure to cast your vote on your favourite work. I know you will be impressed by the entries.

Sally Betts, Mayor of Waverley CUSTOMER SERVICE CENTRE 55 Spring Street, Bondi Junction NSW 2022 PO Box 9, Bondi Junction NSW 1355 PHONE 9083 8000 WEB waverley.nsw.gov.au

Events Bike maintenance workshops 27 August 2016 10.30am–1.30pm These practical beginner workshops will teach you the basics of how to look after your bike. You will learn how to: • remove a wheel/tyre • clean and lube your bike • adjust your brakes and gears. Bookings essential and FREE. To book your spot, please call 9083 8678 or email carolyn. new@waverley.nsw.gov.au

Dads Read 27 August 10am Join us in the Children’s Library for Dads Read. Featuring stories, songs and activities especially for 0–5-year-olds and their male carers. This fun and active program is held monthly with special themed events and guests dropping by. This is a FREE event and the whole family is invited! For more event info visit our website waverley.nsw.gov.au.

Connect with us:


August 2016 MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

Randwick Bushcare Do you have some spare time and care about the local environment? We’ve found the perfect volunteering opportunity for you. Become a bushcare volunteer and help regenerate Randwick Environment Park. Head to the recreation area at 9am today.

Artists Fight for the Archibald The Archibald Prize, first awarded in 1921, is Australia’s favourite art award. Awarded to the best portrait painting, it’s a who’s who of Australian culture. The finalists will be exhibited at the Art Gallery of NSW from July 16 to October 9. Visit www.artgallery.nsw.gov.au.

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English Conversation Class Every Monday morning at Bowen Library, this free English conversation class is open to migrants from all non-English speaking backgrounds. It’s a great learning environment, and also a fabulous way to meet new people. Please call 9314 4888.

Australian Youth Orchestra Maybe back when you were a kid, adolescence was all about house parties and bumming cigarettes. Not so for the talented kids in the AYO, who are performing tonight at the Opera House. For tickets, please visit www.sydneyoperahouse.com/tickets.

Art Classes with Lily Oen Do you ever find yourself promising to dedicate some ‘me time’ to yourself, but never actually getting around to it? That’s not good enough! Sign up to Lily Oen’s art class today at 10:30am at Bowen Library, and lose yourself to the serenity. Call 9314 4888.

Trivia at the Robin Hood Instead of letting the Monday blues get you down, why not perk up and impress Charing Cross with your amazing general knowledge and beer drinking abilities? It’s trivia night at the Robin Hood Hotel from 7:30pm. Start studying, friends.

Winter Fun at Centennial Park Centennial Parklands winter What’s On program is out now. With over 50 events and activities for all kids and adults alike, there is something in the Parklands to keep everyone entertained and moving over the cooler months. Visit www.centennialparklands.com.au/whatson.

Isabella Blow: A Fashionable Life You might know of Isabella Blow as Alexander McQueen’s best patron, or as the lady with the fabulous hats. She was both of these people, but she was also so much more. Check out the exhibition on her life at the Powerhouse Museum until August 28.

$13 Pizza @ The Cloey Yes, you read that correctly. One of the best-kept secrets of Clovelly locals is that Tuesday night is $13 pizza night at the Clovelly Hotel. Accompany that with great mates, reasonably priced booze, and a killer location, and you’re pretty much sorted.

Walkley Foundation: Storyology Australia’s premier journalism and storytelling festival is back from August 10-12 in Sydney. Check out talks on issues like global freelancing, tech trends in Silicon Valley, and how to profit from podcasts. For more details, please visit storyology2016.sched.org.

Twelfth Night Banish embarrassing memories of reading aloud in high school English and get along to see the professionals perform in Eamon Flack’s production of Twelfth Night at the Belvoir. The play is on nightly from July 23 to September 4. Visit www.belvoir.com.au. Winter is Over! Strip off your overcoats, pull off your gloves, and throw away the tissue box – today is the last day of winter! Celebrate with a margarita in hand – if it’s still cold, drink another one. There’s nothing like tequila to warm the belly and this winter has been a real c**t.

Cryptic Crossword Group Do you hate dummies? Do people who don’t get etymological jokes piss you off ? Then we’ve found the place for you. In the Library Theory Room at Waverley Library today at 10am, the Cryptic Crossword group meets. Call 9803 8777 for more details. Ladushki, Ladushki Proving that Margaret Martin Library really does leave no stone unturned, this morning from 10:45-11:15am it is hosting a monthly program for children aged 0–5 years held in Russian. Children can enjoy music, rhymes and stories, all in Russian. Ypa!

For heaps more local events, just visit...


Concretor Jay Rodney Oceanside Ph: 0411 989 565 Painter Brett Dooley Nielson Dooley Ph: 0404 888 089

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

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Jeans for Genes Day Pull on a pair of denim jeans today to help raise funds for research into birth defects and diseases such as cancer, epilepsy and a range of genetic disorders. Every dollar will help the Children’s Medical Research Institute. Visit www.jeansforgenes.org.au.

Swans Versus Port Adelaide The Swans are looking strong in 2016 and this afternoon they’ll be taking on a Port Adelaide side that has struggled for most of the year. The game will be played at the SCG and first bounce is at 1.45pm. For info, visit www. sydneyswans.com.au.

Volunteer at McIvers Ladies’ Pool Do you love puns about ladies and bushes? If so, you’re going to have an absolute blast volunteering at McIvers Ladies’ Pool this morning from 8am–10am, helping regenerate the baths’ grounds. Please call 9399 0708 if you would like further information.

Food Addiction Support Are you having a hard time controlling the way you eat? Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) offers help and hope. FA holds meetings every Friday at 10am at the Salvation Army Hall on Boyce Road, Maroubra. Call 0410 566 724 or visit www.foodaddicts.org.

Randwick Farmers Market The Randwick Farmers Market is on every Saturday at Randwick Public School on Frances Street. There’ll be a wide variety of stallholders selling their wares. Contact Maria Stranieri if you are interested in becoming a stallholder by calling 0414 602 680.

SMH City2Surf Whether you’re super-buff, or just have a weird sense of humour, fun awaits you today at the City2Surf. The course is notoriously hard – winding from Hyde Park through Vaucluse to Bondi Beach – but it’s all for charity, so get off your bum. Visit www.city2surf.com.au.

Muriel’s Wedding Screening For tonight’s Friday Night Flicks session, Waverley Library will be screening Australian cult classic Muriel’s Wedding. Get some mates together and laugh like galahs. Wine and snacks will be on offer. Tickets are only $5 from www.eventbrite.com.

Randwick Community Race Day Get down to Randwick Racecourse for a fun-filled day of horse racing and children’s activities including a jumping castle, face painting and the Dorothy the Dinosaur show. Each Randwick residence is eligible for two free tickets. Please visit www.atc.com.au/randwick.

Sydney Tower Stair Challenge Run up 1504 steps and 309 metres of vertical height. It's the same height as the Eiffel Tower - it is the Sydney Tower Eye! Run, walk or crawl your way to the top of the Sydney Tower Eye – all proceeds go to charity. Please visit www.sydneytowereye.com.au.

Daffodil Day Help grow hope for Australians affected by cancer – hope for better treatments, hope for more survivors, and hope for a cancerfree future. Every day around 350 Australians are diagnosed with cancer. For more information, visit www.daffodilday.com.au.

Sydney Jewish Writers’ Festival Taking place from August 27-28 at iconic venues in the Waverley municipality, the SJWF features writers and ideas from around the globe. Books are just the beginning in this showcase of Jewish literary and cultural life for the entire community. Visit www.sjwf.org.au.

Trevor Noah at the Opera House Trevor Noah is the wunderkind of US late-night comedy who last year took over the Daily Show from Jon Oliver at only 31 years old. His roots are in stand-up comedy, and that’s what he’s doing tonight. Visit www.sydneyoperahouse.com/tickets.

Fencing Troy Salvatico Jim’s Fencing Ph: 0405 543 530 Building Design Todd Maguire Design Solutions Ph: 0405 617 428

Rubbish Removal Dave Whiteley Dave's Rubbish Ph: 0401 296 069 Mechanic Jordan Hayman JH Automotive Ph: 0424 144 987 Plumber Matt Scott Surfside Plumbing Ph: 0450 391 734 BBQ Caterer Wardy Wardy & Sons Ph: 0414 293 396 Cleaner Sarah Callan Exec Home Office Ph: 0414 510 275 Plumber Luke Fletcher Pipe Up Plumbing Ph: 0431 638 558 Locksmith Bradley Rope SOS Locksmiths Ph: 0498 767 767 Electrician Adrian Langen Langen Electrical Ph: 0400 006 008 Arborist Jeff Hunt Prompt Trees Ph: 0412 280 338 Handyman Cristian The Handyman Ph: 0467 484 459

...www.thebeast.com.au/events-guide


Standing out from the Crowd

Liv Phyland Interview Dan Hutton Photography Jeremy Greive

Where are you originally from? ‘Where I’m from’ is always the hardest question, as I was an absolute gypsy growing up. I lived in Wagga, Holbrook, Bacchus Marsh, Melbourne for high school and a year of uni, Bendigo for two years of uni, back to Melbourne for four years, and I have now been in Sydney for a year. That said, I would call Wagga ‘home’ as that’s where all my family is from and where I still spend every Christmas. Where are you living now? I’ve been in South Bondi since August last year. I’m in Lamrock Avenue come and find me. What brought you to Bondi? I always wanted to move to Sydney; I was just waiting for some work to come up here. Then I got the job with The Loop on Channel 11. What do you love about life in the Eastern Suburbs? I'm so obsessed with Bondi, to the point I get teased about it. I’m proud to be in love with the ‘bubble’ life. My favourite thing would be living across the road from the beach and being able to start or finish my day with a swim or surf. Salt water literally cures everything! How long have you been surfing for? Quite a few years, but I’m an absolute rookie and I look like a frog when I surf, but I love it. What gets your goat about the Eastern Suburbs? Look, to be honest there are a few places that I feel are a bit pretentious, but it can also be the polar opposite of that. Bondi is such a ‘community’. There’s a real mix of hippies, surfers, backpackers, families, and down to earth, fun humans who all seem

to have each other’s back. But, of course, there are also a few… Wankers? Wankers, a bit of fakeness, and a few crazies. Shout out to all you crazies out there. The crazyhot scale be strong. Oh, and I hate not being able to find a car park. You don't have a garage? No, not yet anyway. Get back to me in a few years. Do you have any favourite local haunts? I'm a massive foodie. I always go to the same places, though, like Cali Press, Sadhana Kitchen or Lox, Stock and Barrel. If you’re talking about bars, I'm not very cool, honestly. I do like the Bucket List in summer and the Beach Road for some R&B. I’m a walking hazard on the dance floor, though. Seriously, I need to stop thinking I’m Beyonce.

From about year nine I realised I wanted to be a presenter. I loved that it was still ‘entertainment’, but you could have your own personality. What were your favourite subjects at school? How did you get into television hosting? I loved maths, psychology, PE and drama. All through school I loved singing, dancing and acting, and I thought I wanted to be an actress. From about year nine I realised I wanted to be a presenter. I loved that it was still ‘entertainment’, but you could have your own personality. I loved the idea of making someone excited and making them believe

in what you were saying by purely being yourself. I got to year 12 and I realised that there was no course that was really going to guarantee me a job as a television presenter. I also recognised that it is a brutal industry, which can be hard to crack. So I decided to do something else I loved as a backup, and work at presenting on the side. I did a double degree in psychology and occupational therapy. It was the best time of my life and I'm so grateful that I did it. Was it the best time of your life because of the course, or because of university life? Because of the people. They were the biggest freespirited bunch of legends from all country towns around Australia, who will be lifelong friends. And yes, let’s be honest, I probably enjoyed the people and ‘uni life’ more than the course. Did you finish it? I did. At the end of my third year someone sent me an application for a nationwide search for two new ABC3 hosts for a show called Studio3. I'd always wanted to do children’s television. I'd seen that 6,000 people had applied the last time this position had been offered. I made a ridiculous audition tape (dressed as a giant M&M grocery shopping, and as one of the Bananas in Pyjamas rapping in the streets, etc.). I sent it in and somehow got an audition. For some reason they liked something they saw in me and I got a final call back. I went to the next audition dressed as a sheep. I don’t know why, but I got the job. I literally told them on the phone, “You do realise I have no idea what I’m doing? This is your last chance to August 2016 | The Beast 45


take back your offer. I wont be offended.” I think it was because I was so inexperienced they thought they could mould me into what they wanted. I graduated, moved back to Melbourne and literally learned everything from scratch - on the job, five days a week, filming from 7am until 5pm.

I was scared of looking like I had come from a children’s show, so I began to dull my personality to the point where I didn’t recognise myself onscreen. What was it like working on a show with such a young target audience? It was brilliant. Our target audience was six to 16 year-olds, so it wasn’t babyish at all. It was conversational, fun and downright nuts - think weird and whacky and then times it by 50. The hardest and the best part about it was that you had to be extremely energetic and over-the-top, but also 100 per cent yourself, because people that age can see straight through you. What are the most important skills you learnt while working on Studio3? When I started I was trying to remember the script word for word; you’re afraid to be completely yourself in case people don’t like that. After a while you build confidence, start committing 100 per cent to everything and put your own spin on things. By the end we would glance at a script and then just ad-lib; it’s much more real and ridiculous - to watch. What were your favourite television shows when you were a kid? I loved Hi-5 as a grom, then Home and Away, Neighbours and McCleod’s Daughters. I started on soaps young! Do you ever get grief from your mates about your onscreen performances? They loved it when 46 The Beast | August 2016

I was on a children’s show. They would tune in and be like, "What the hell are you doing?" or "What the hell are you wearing?” You got the gig on Channel 11’s The Loop last year, taking over from former Beast cover girl Ash London; how was the transition from children’s television to young adults' television? Yes, big shout out to Ash - what a legend. The transition was definitely daunting as I was so comfortable in my job and I absolutely adored ABC3; the team was honestly like my family. So settling into a new city, in a new job, with new people made it even harder. So much 'new'! I had stepped out of my comfort zone and also, at the start, I was scared of looking like I had come from a children’s show, so I began to dull my personality to the point where I didn’t recognise myself onscreen. I wasn’t being as bubbly or natural. A month or so later I decided to just be myself and have fun. It’s all been uphill from there. I’m loving The Loop and the Channel Ten team is amazing. Can you tell us a little bit about The Loop? The Loop is basically a modern version of Video Hits. I co-host with a guy called Scott Tweedie, who lives in Rose Bay (la-di-da Tweeds). It’s on every Saturday morning for two and a half hours. We play the charting Top 20, throw in some old school bangers that everyone loves, and then play about four or five newbies we think will do well. Apart from that, it's just our ugly heads on screen every now and then to tell you some fun facts and news about the artists and songs. Being on a music show, do you feel like you have to be cool and hip? I think I was trying to be cool, then everyone cottoned on to the small issue that I am the least cool person in the world. Seriously, I am. I'm never going to be a cool, edgy music presenter. I'm goofy, I'm clumsy and I laugh at myself. In most of the episodes I'm crying with laughter and can’t breathe,

and Scott just holds the show together like a true professional. My life is one big blooper. Your co-host was also a presenter on ABC3 before moving to The Loop; were you guys mates back in the ABC3 days? Yeah, Scott and I have known each other for five years now. He was on a show called Prank Patrol, so he would come to Melbourne to film stuff. We got along really well. He started at ABC3 four years before me, then at The Loop four years before me. He thinks I’m following him. Wherever he goes next, I’ll probably try to get on the show a few years later. This is now sounding creepy. I apologise. Speaking of pranks, I believe you and Mr Tweedie have been in a bit of a prank war; is it true that he tricked you into believing that you were going on the cover of The Beast back in April, but it was all an elaborate set-up? Yes. And we here at The Beast didn't even know anything about it… It was horrible.

My taste in music is quite bipolar. I sing and love acoustic folk music, I like commercial Top 40 pop, and I absolutely love R&B and hip-hop. Shawty get low! How did it go down? Obviously I knew of The Beast (being the prestigious magazine that it is), but I’m still quite new to the Eastern Suburbs. Scott had been the host of Prank Patrol - in other words he is the king of pranking. I’d pranked him in one episode and I knew he wanted revenge. As soon as we finished recording, I got a text message from my agent saying, "Can you do a last minute shoot for The Beast?" I took a screenshot and messaged it to Scott saying, "You are behind this for sure. This has to be a prank." He said, "I


don't know what you're talking about, but great.” I did a 45-minute interview with fake Dan Hutton, who was actually just an actor. Then I rocked up to Ben Buckler one afternoon and did a fake photo shoot with weird props like kale and strange dress-ups. I knew by this point it was a prank, but I was very much trapped in it. After an hour of hell, Scott jumped out of a car with a blonde wig on and unveiled the prank. Props to the ridiculous amount of effort he went to, but I also didn’t talk to him for two days and I’ve been paranoid ever since. You have a bit of a musical background yourself; is that right? Yes. I've always sung, but never done lessons. It’s just a hobby. I was in a band called Jeanie when I was in Melbourne, with one of the sound guys from ABC3. He had some songs that he'd written that he needed a girl's voice for, so we started jamming. It was like a folk pop duo. We got signed by Universal Music and ABC Music, then got a full band. I ended up moving to Sydney, which made it hard to rehearse (different states will do that to you), so that kind of ran its course. Now I'm singing with a guitarist in Sydney, just doing acoustic covers and casually gigging around. What's the name of the new band? Oh, it's great! My name's Olivia and his name is Juan, so we’re called Olivia Newton Juan. Can we take a moment for that? That's not bad, actually… We play at Ravesi’s on Thursday nights sometimes. It's fun to get all of our friends down there, and it's literally 300 metres from my house. Come down and have a jig, yodel, whatever floats your boat. What music are you into, and does the music on The Loop reflect your personal taste? 100 per cent. That's why it's such a great fit. I think a lot of people secretly love what's charting because you can sing along to it and it’s so 48 The Beast | August 2016

ridiculously catchy; most people are just too embarrassed to admit it. I'm not cool enough to listen to Triple J. My taste in music is quite bipolar. I sing and love acoustic folk music, I like commercial Top 40 pop, and I absolutely love R&B and hip-hop. Shawty get low! Who is your favourite musician or band at the moment? My favourite bands of all time are the Lumineers and Mumford and Sons (it’s safe to say I get teased a bit for that at The Loop). I also love the queens of pop, Beyoncé and Taylor Swift. They're the most clichéd pop people, but they're pretty phenomenal.

I like watching people who make you smile. I would love for people to look at me and think, "She looks like a nice, down to earth person; Let’s be friends!” What are your top tips for breaking the ice at the beginning of an interview? I have no icebreakers - as you will have noticed. I just have word vomit – no filter, no boundaries. Apparently you have some awesome clothes on the show; who are your go-to designers? To be honest, I’m not much of a fashionista. I'm a bit of a hippie. My ideal attire is usually bare feet, bathers, or active wear. Comfort over style. For the show, Channel Ten dresses us, which is brilliant. They'll source different options from PR companies or select brands. I’ll go in the morning of the shoot and try on as many things as possible, and then go from there. Do you have a favourite interview that you’ve done? Yes. Jason Derulo. When I came for my interview for The Loop they said, "Who do you love, music-wise?" I said, "I'm really embarrassed to admit this, but Jason Derulo.” They said, "You're not going to believe

this, but your first interview is actually going to be Jason Derulo.” He rocked up an hour late because he was riding to the Channel 10 studio through the city on a Segway, and he literally came up to level five still on his Segway. I then tried to play him one of his songs on the recorder. I sounded like screaming cats. I’m sure he felt us bonding. What advice would you give to aspiring television presenters? Just keep at it, because, obviously, it is a brutal industry and you can get knocked down a million different times. But you've got to be in it to win it. I applied for a job that 6,000 people had applied for the previous time, and I'd never been in front of the camera. What are the chances? Experience is also key. Do short courses, volunteer to assist in shoots, just find any avenue to learn the ropes, meet the right people and get your foot in the door. My final advice: be authentic. People want realness, and someone who stands out from the crowd. Do you have any role models in the industry? My presenting idol is Shelley Craft. She's bright and bubbly, and I suppose that's who I would try to model myself off. I like watching people who make you smile. I would love for people to look at me and think, "She looks like a nice, down to earth person; Let’s be friends!” Do you support any charities? I'm an ambassador for the Starlight Foundation, which has been great. I've always wanted to get involved with them. I go a couple of times a month on a Monday night and just hang out with the kids. There are a lot of events and things that we do as well, but it's more about just chilling with kids, chatting to them, doing some art or music, and trying to brighten their day a little bit. Are you involved in any other charities? I'm very passionate about mental health, and OneWave is a great organisation, and


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also one that was born in Bondi. I've known so many people, family and friends, who have been affected by mental health issues in some way. The guys at OneWave raise awareness that it's okay to not be okay by dressing up in fluoro, having a group talk about mental health and going surfing. Who doesn't want to meet up at the beach in crazy, ridiculous clothes, get amongst the good vibes and catch party waves? It’s such a great way to start your day. Can you tell us a bit about your teen health passion project? I’m very grateful to live a very balanced life. I'll be out dancing at the Beach Road until 4am, and the next morning I'll have a green smoothie and go to a yoga class. I don't deprive myself of anything, and I’m proud to say I’ve never been on a diet. I think that has made me passionate to spread the message about balance and living life to the fullest, in a healthy way. A couple of years ago I studied

a course called ‘Integrative Nutrition’ online. I absolutely loved it, but didn’t know what I wanted to do with it. I had all these teenage girls writing to me on social media with common themes of anxiety, depression and body image. I had this light bulb moment of: "Oh my god, this is my demographic; this is who is most at risk of our society changing, and it’s what I'm most passionate about." What I'm working on at the moment is doing workshops for teenage girls on health, wellbeing, and mental health. I want to do private workshops, and also implement them into girls’ schools. They’ll be interactive, engaging and eye opening. The workshops will be filled with breaking down barriers of mental health, cooking demonstrations, yoga and exercise, powerful guest speakers, and demonstrations on things like how Photoshop works and the pros and cons of social media, just to name a few. I want to try to teach these girls how to have a balanced

life, how to be healthy, but most importantly, how to be happy. If being on television has created a profile where young girls will be interested in what I have to say, then that is the greatest outcome of my career. So that's what I'm working on at the moment and that’s what I’m trying to get up and running. In an ideal world, what does the future hold for Olivia Phyland? Ideally I’ll still be on television and still be going on van adventures on the weekends. That would be a happy outcome. My goal is to have a career that combines my passions for both presenting and health. A show that involves lifestyle, travel and adventure has always been a dream. And, of course, I want to have these workshops for teenagers not only up and running, but changing the lives of young girls. Oh, and where will I be living? Well now that I've had a taste for it, I could never, ever not live by the beach. ■

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Local Chick... Kelly Wright from Bondi Interview James Hutton Picture Grant Brooks

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elly Wright is the owner of TONI&GUY in Bondi Beach. She recently launched a crazy but brilliant campaign to raise $1 million from 1 million people in just 30 days as part of her charitable organisation, Deciding to Make a Difference. All funds raised will be used to build new housing for an Aboriginal community in Jilkminggan. Kelly shares her local favourites with The Beast… How long have you lived here? I first arrived in Bondi 14 years ago. What's your favourite beach? Bondi is by far the best. Where do you like to have a drink? I love a cheese platter and bottle of Shiraz at The Shop on Curlewis Street. What's your favourite eatery? There are way too many to list only one. The Shop, Bondi Tony’s,

52 The Beast | August 2016

Mad Pizza, The Italian, Da Orazio, Vue Bar, The Corner House... I could go on all day. Do you have a favourite sporting team? Sport? Ha! The Roosters, I guess. What music are you into at the moment? The Wiggles - I swear I was cool pre-kids! I like most things not killed on the radio, except pop. The radio didn't need to kill that. It was always bad. Who is your favourite person? James from The Beast right now! My kids Lily and Freddy come a close second, though. What do you get up to on the weekends? I work on Saturdays, but Sundays are dedicated to my babies. I generally end up at a park of some form. What do you do for work? I'm a hairdresser by passion. I'm the

owner/operator of TONI&GUY Bondi Beach and Randwick, and I’m also the founder of Deciding to Make a Difference. What's your favourite thing about work? Everything - my teams and my clients all make waking up and going to work easy. Do you have a favourite quote? I’m not big on quotes, but I believe positivity breeds positivity and I say ‘karma is a bitch’ a lot! Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Firstly, we live in paradise so please take your plastic, rubbish and fag butts home with you and don’t leave them on our beaches. Secondly, please head to www.decidingtomakeadifference.org and with your help we can take the problem of plastic pollution and use it to help solve the housing shortage in remote Aboriginal communities within Australia.


E ENT RE EV

F ILY M FA CENTENNIAL PARK SATURDAY 13 AUGUST 11AM - 3PM Join us to celebrate National Science Week at this free, fun, family event. Meet a dinosaur, see a life size shark in a bus, enjoy our incredible science shows, learn more about lizards, snakes, bats and lots more... Find out more at centennialparklands.com.au/scienceintheswamp

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5/07/2016 August 201612:03:43 | The PM Beast 53


Brockhoff as coach. I played a few games for the club in the 1980s and my brother had a few seasons playing first grade. What music are you into at the moment? My musical listening tastes are eclectic. At any one moment I might be listening to classical Beethoven or Mozart, the next I might be listening to the Rolling Stones, some old punk tunes, Beyoncé, Taylor Swift or the up-and-coming bands on Triple J. Who is your favourite person? My wife, Renee, is my favourite person, as well as my children, Maddie and Max. What do you get up to on the weekends? I spend time with family and on Sunday mornings during winter I swim at the Icebergs. On the odd Saturday arvo I go to Woollahra Oval to watch Easts and catch up with some friends.

The local legal eagle.

Local Bloke... Michael Malley from Bondi Interview James Hutton Picture Grant Brooks

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winter swimming on Sundays with the ‘Bergs for the last 15 years and I love it.

How long have you lived here? I have lived in the Eastern Suburbs all of my life.

What’s your favourite beach? I spent most of my youth at Tamarama, where I surfed all year round, so it’s my sentimental favourite. These days I spend a lot of my recreational time at Bondi Beach, and I have to say Bronte has a great park and beach, too. They are all wonderful.

ichael Malley was born and bred in the Eastern Suburbs. He is the principal solicitor at Malleys Lawyers in Bondi Junction. Michael shares his local favourites with The Beast…

What’s your favourite eatery? My wife is a great cook so I have to say my favourite eatery is at home. Where do you like to have a drink? The Bondi Icebergs Club is without doubt my favourite place to go. I have been participating in 54 The Beast | August 2016

Do you have a favourite sporting team? I grew up supporting Easts Rugby Union. My dad played for the Beasts in 1963 with Jock Cornett as captain and Dave

What do you do for work? I am the principal solicitor at Malleys Lawyers at Bondi Junction. We focus on compensation law, accident law, wills and estates, family law, property disputes and settlements, and conveyancing. I’m on the Injury Law Specialist Accreditation Advisory Committee of the NSW Law Society and I’m vice president of the Eastern Suburbs Law Society. I’m kept pretty busy. What’s your favourite thing about work? I love it that it’s local and that I help three generations; my parents’ generation, my generation and the next generation. It’s a fact of life that at one stage or another we are all touched by a legal issue. Do you have a favourite quote? I don’t really have a favourite quote. I think people like quotes because they tend to reveal an inner truth. “Count your blessings” is a very good thing to keep in mind. Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? As Spock once said, “May you live long and prosper.”


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RUSHCUTTERS BAY PARK SATURDAY 13th AUGUST | 11:30-1:30PM SAUSAGE SIZZLE AND DOOR PRIZE

August 2016 | The Beast 55


The best way to recycle wood.

Wood Fire Ban a Load of Bollocks Words Rupert Truscott-Hughes Picture Daenerys Targaryen

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n the July Monthly Mailbag in this very magazine, one particular letter to the editor caught my attention. The letter, titled ‘Wood Fires on the Nose’, was sent in by Dr Stephen Lightfoot, a name I recognise from the Save Bronte movement, which fought against the Bronte RSL development. In it, Dr Lightfoot calls on Waverley Council to “clean up our local atmosphere and ban wood fires”. Clearly Dr Lightfoot has some time on his hands now that the RSL development saga has seemingly come to an end. Firstly, I should declare my interests here: I have a couple of wood fuelled fires in my premises and I delight in sparking them up when the temperature dips to the frosty depths that Sydney often faces – i.e. anything less than 20 degrees tops. As Dr Lightfoot noted, “Not only do they keep you warm, but, let’s face it, who doesn’t like to sip a Hunter Shiraz in front of a crackling open fire?” Replace ‘Hunter Shiraz’ with ‘Domaine de la Romanée-Conti’ and you’ve got 56 The Beast | August 2016

an accurate description of a lazy Sunday evening at the TruscottHughes estate. While I understand Dr Lightfoot’s concern, I think it is largely misguided. For starters, the smoke from a wood fire smells delightful, and I think most people would agree. Comparing it to cigarette smoke is somewhat akin to comparing the two red wines mentioned above. It’s also important to look at the alternatives. Would Dr Lightfoot prefer that local residents instead revert to electric heaters fuelled by Tony Abbott’s favourite combustible black rock? I can’t confirm which is the lesser of the two evils, but I don’t imagine that dragging all that coal out of the dirt and converting it into electricity is a particularly ‘clean’ process. Sure, there’ll be a little less particle pollution here in the Eastern Suburbs, but I doubt Dr Lightfoot would enjoy Rupert, of all people, accusing him of being a Nimby. One thing Dr Lightfoot would be pleased to hear, though, is that

the City of Montreal has banned wood burning fireplaces. In saying that, let’s not forget that Montreal’s record low summer temperatures are similar to Sydney’s record low winter temperatures. In fact, for three months of the year Montreal’s average top temperature is below freezing. The point I’m making is that over there they actually need their heaters, and they need them often. If everyone in Montreal, a city slowly nudging up towards 2 million people, was sipping red wine in front of the fire I imagine they’d probably create quite a bit of air pollution. Here in Sydney, conversely, the handful of people who own an operational wood fire and actually bother to light it would probably create about as much smoke as Dr Lightfoot is blowing out hot air. I can’t be certain if the tears in Dr Lightfoot’s eyes are a result of the smoke from my wood fire or from his disappointment at not owning one. Either way, I’ll be throwing an extra log on and raising my glass of Burgundy in his honour this evening.


Do you think wood fires should be banned in the Eastern Suburbs? Words & Pictures Madeleine Gray

Charlotte, Bondi We should be able to roast our marshmallows in peace. And I think that it wouldn’t make much of a difference if they were only banned in the east - it’d have to be a nationwide ban to work.

Jim, Bellevue Hill

Chris, Waverley I don’t think they should be banned because they smell lovely and they mean you’re not going to be paying for gas and electricity bills.

Laura, Coogee

I can see the issue from both perspectives: I understand that wood fires are not good for the environment, but they are also very pleasant to sit around. However, I would probably come down on the side of the environment.

I get that they’re environmentally unfriendly, but surely there are other bigger ways that we can stop air pollution without making the small amount of people with wood fires give them up.

Pam, Maroubra I don’t know much about it, but I love the smell of an open wood fire burning when I’m walking down the street and it’s drifting out from someone’s house.

Michael, Clovelly Nah, I don’t reckon mate. Sitting down next to a warm fire with a glass of wine and a guitar is one of the best things in life. August 2016 | The Beast 57


A rare shortbill spearfish caught off Sydney.

The Devil is in the Detail

Words Dan Trotter Picture Dominic Wiseman - Wiseman Media and Design

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uccess or failure in just about everything we do in life, from the simplest of tasks to the most complex of projects, is determined by attention to detail, as well as a little bit of luck. A tricky conversation, driving a car, delivering a project, running this magazine month to month, even your morning coffee - success in everything comes down to detail. And it’s the same when it comes to fishing. My anecdote this month comes from a trip just two days ago, out wide in search of tuna. The planning conversations had been going on for weeks, we’d been paying close attention to the temperature breaks, talking tactics, looking for opportunities in our busy work schedules and waiting for the weather. Then, on Friday, the call came in. The weather was looking good, there was a decent temperature break within range, and the boys wanted me to wrangle some crew. Within hours, two self-employed, experienced fishing mates had changed their schedules, cancelled meetings and taken the day off work for a chance to mix it with the biggest tuna Sydney gets to see. As we arrived at the dock at 5am, frost glistening on the exte-

58 The Beast | August 2016

rior white and alloy surfaces of the game boat, the lack of attention to detail started to raise its head. The boat’s shore power had been left off and something on-board had been left switched on – the fivebank of deep cycle batteries was as flat as the ocean that day. Within a very cold and dark hour and a half of head scratching and swearing, the guys had it figured out, the diesels were rhythmically humming and we were off - off to discover that the fuel card was not on the boat; off to discover that the wrong switch had been flicked and the house batteries were not charging. It was daylight by the time we left the harbour, set a course, and pushed the throttles down for the two-hour run to the marks. Arriving at the predetermined GPS mark, everything started to come together; bait was rippling on the surface and visible down deep on the sounder, a few sea birds were hovering about, and a slight temperature break was noted in the calm conditions – perfect. We shared a few smiles and each of us dreamed our own little dreams that today could be the day. As the rods and reels came out and the lures were clipped onto

the swivels, it started to show that the devil was indeed in the detail. None of the fishing gear on-board the boat was prepped and ready, the lures hadn’t been re-rigged from last year’s season, hooks were dull, leaders were still salty and chaffed with corroding crimps, and drag settings on the game reels were out - clearly no thought had been put into the gear. We quickly re-rigged a few lures and spirits lifted when, within ten minutes of the first lures being deployed, we hooked and landed a small but exciting shortbill spearfish. Unfortunately it wasn’t too long before the devil of detail struck again. Instead of circling the area in an ever widening spiral and working the temperature change, the skipper, not to be told otherwise, set a course east in search of deeper water and bigger fish, driving right us out of the zone. Within an hour there were no signs of life, and the rest of the day was spent sleeping, cursing and discussing the fact that no more fish had been caught. You can imagine how we all felt by the end of the day. The devil truly is in the detail in everything we do; stop paying attention to it and opportunities pass you by.


August 2016 Tide Chart

Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Picture Erik Janousek MON

TUE

WED

0.31 1.39 0.41 1.88

2 0152 0.26 0748 1.42 1330 0.40 1959 1.89

3 ○ 0235 0.25 0834 1.44 1417 0.40 2043 1.87

4 0315 0917 1501 2124

8 0540 0.46 1159 1.40 1755 0.63 2357 1.42

9 0617 0.52 1244 1.39 1847 0.68

15 0003 0.51 0552 1.25 1132 0.54 1806 1.65 22 0452 1106 1708 2320

1 0103 0659 1241 1912

0.22 1.61 0.35 1.64

29 0000 0.37 0558 1.31 1140 0.46 1809 1.73

Swell spectators.

FRI

SAT

SUN

0.26 1.45 0.42 1.81

5 0354 0.30 1000 1.44 1545 0.46 2202 1.72

6 0430 0.35 1039 1.43 1626 0.51 2240 1.63

7 0505 0.41 1118 1.42 1709 0.57 2317 1.52

10 0042 1.32 0659 0.56 1333 1.39 1948 0.71

11 ○ 0137 1.24 0749 0.60 1430 1.40 2100 0.71

12 0244 1.18 0846 0.63 1530 1.43 2212 0.67

13 0356 1.17 0945 0.62 1629 1.49 2314 0.59

14 0500 1.20 1042 0.59 1720 1.56

16 0046 0.41 0638 1.31 1218 0.48 1849 1.74

17 0126 0.32 0720 1.38 1302 0.41 1931 1.81

18 ○ 0205 0.25 0802 1.45 1347 0.35 2014 1.86

19 0245 0845 1434 2058

0.19 1.51 0.31 1.87

20 0325 0.17 0930 1.56 1522 0.30 2143 1.84

21 0408 1017 1614 2230

23 0538 0.29 1158 1.61 1807 0.41

24 0015 1.50 0629 0.37 1254 1.60 1915 0.47

25 ○ 0117 1.37 0725 0.45 1356 1.59 2030 0.50

26 0230 1.27 0829 0.51 1504 1.59 2149 0.48

27 0348 1.24 0936 0.53 1613 1.63 2300 0.43

28 0500 1.26 1042 0.51 1715 1.68

30 0049 0.31 0647 1.37 1232 0.42 1857 1.75

31 0131 0731 1319 1941

0.28 1.42 0.39 1.76

THU

○ New Moon ○ First Quarter ○ Full Moon ○ Last Quarter *Please add an hour during daylight savings time

0.18 1.60 0.31 1.76


A female Lesser Frigatebird in flight.

Tropical, Oceanic, Majestic Seabirds‌ Frigatebirds Words Keith Hutton Picture Ian Montgomery Website www.birdway.com.au

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rigatebirds are spectacular, majestic and impressive birds, three species of which breed in Australian territory. Of these, Christmas Island Frigatebirds are more or less restricted to Christmas Island, as their name suggests. However, both Lesser and Great Frigatebirds are more widespread. In early June this year, during inclement weather, Lesser Frigatebirds were seen in the Eastern Suburbs at Maroubra despite their preference for the tropics, and at the same time both species were recorded as vagrants in Victoria and Tasmania. Frigatebirds are among the easiest birds to identify. They are medium to large seabirds, predominantly black in colour, with long hooked bills and long tails. A diagnostic deep fork is obvious when their tails are spread. Adult females are bigger than males, with variable amounts of white on their underparts, and adult males have distinctive red throat pouches that they inflate during colonial breeding displays to attract females. Their wings are long and pointed, 60 The Beast | August 2016

and they are able to remain in the air for long periods, soaring high and buoyantly with no apparent effort. Lesser Frigatebirds are much smaller than the others, the wingspans of which approach those of small albatrosses. Adults are generally sedentary in Queensland and the Northern Territory. However, they may disperse great distances after breeding there. Young birds and males travel thousands of kilometres, soar for days on wind currents, and rarely if ever settle on the ocean; they roost and rest in trees or bushes when these are available. Both Lesser and Great Frigatebirds regularly turn up south of the tropics, and may be seen infrequently offshore in southern states as a consequence of tropical cyclones and winter storms. Frigatebirds are opportunistic predators in sea bird colonies, but usually forage up to 500 kilometres from land where they feed mainly on flying fish and squid out in the open sea. They grab eggs and downy young seabirds off the ground, take flying fish in the

air, and catch squid by dipping or picking them off the water surface. Sometimes they hover when hunting, and they may also harass flying birds, chasing them and forcing them to disgorge their prey, then snatching the food before it hits the water, following dramatic flights of surprising speed and agility. They often associate with other feeding seabirds, dolphins and tuna, and usually hunt during the day, except if they have young to feed, when they hunt at night too. The world population of Christmas Island Frigatebirds has always been small and they are critically endangered. On the contrary, the world populations of Lesser and Great Frigatebirds are both very large, but thought to be decreasing. Nevertheless, these two frigatebirds are regarded as being of least conservation concern at present. In their traditional distribution areas in tropical Australia, Lesser Frigatebirds remain reasonably common, but Great Frigatebirds are not generally so numerous.


There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say.

Pinniped’s Prime Property Words Pascal Geraghty Picture Jim McLean

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ho said absolute waterfront properties on Sydney Harbour were expensive? I know a quaint little dwelling, a studio, jutting out over the water, boasting sweeping, uninterrupted 180 degree views of Sydney Harbour, including of Sydney Cove and the Bridge, and it’s free. The problem is it’s currently occupied by a very content young New Zealand fur seal. And he ain’t going anywhere. Pavarotti, as he’s affectionately known to some, took up residence on the Sydney Opera House VIP steps in October 2014 and has stayed put ever since. He’s currently unemployed, but since he’s neither servicing a mortgage on the property or subject to any rental terms, he’s free to live the life of Reilly, snoozing and sunning himself beneath the world famous white sails between gorging on Sydney’s finest finfish and appreciating the Opera House’s incredible acoustic qualities. Based on his healthy girth, I’m

guessing he didn’t get the memo about local dioxin levels. Either that or he’s decided to ignore the dietary advice dished out by the Department of Primary Industries to generally eat no more than 150 grams per month of fish caught east of the Harbour Bridge. Elevated dioxins or not, he’s perfectly happy snoring at ferry loads of commuters as they steam to and from the office. In contrast to our federal immigration policy, Pavarotti was given the warmest of welcomes by the NSW Parliament soon after hauling out on Bennelong Point. And thanks to a clean criminal record he was embraced with open arms, without customs scrutiny, and invited to stay as long as he wanted. With a clear line of sight over to Kirribilli and Admiralty Houses, there’s no doubt that he has loads of dirt on Abbott and Cosgrove. But with the former now lying dormant, Pavarotti’s been forced to seek out other forms of entertainment. Perhaps

his prying eyes were a major factor influencing Turnbull’s decision to remain safely ensconced in Point Piper? Well, that and the fact his current joint is bigger, better, more impressive, and with quicker water access and a boat berth. Pavarotti’s presence speaks volumes for Sydney Harbour. He wouldn’t stay if it wasn’t good. So good it is, in fact, that he’s happy to put up with the ferry wash, boat horns, outboard noise, screaming tourists and Vivid. Local environmental authorities have indicated that his residency hints towards a return to old haunts, with seals having been commonplace in the harbour, including on Bennelong Point pre-Opera House, prior to their numbers dwindling at the hands of sealers. If you haven’t paid Pavarotti a visit yet, go and say g’day. Although his DA to have a fence installed to restrict public access to his lounge room was successful, you can nevertheless still look down and be charmed by this cheeky character. August 2016 | The Beast 61


Want to get your hands on some seriously stylish active wear? You don’t need to look far, as three great athleisure brands hail from our ‘hood: The Upside Founded by Jodhi Meares, this label embraces bodies of all shapes and sizes. It’s best known for its women’s range of refined prints and sleekly styled body-sculpting tights, signature street-chic muscle shirts and versatile hoodies. They now offer a menswear range inspired by urban city palettes and moody oceanic hues. P.E. Nation This street inspired women’s active wear label from local fave Pip Edwards blurs the line between street and sport, offering everything from retro bomber jackets and bike shorts to classic crops and leggings. Terry the shoe designer.

Kathryn the mum.

Athleisure Here to Stay - It’s Now in the Dictionary Words & Pictures Sharmin Musca, Personal Stylist

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ressing in stylish workout gear all day, whether for exercising or not, has become one of the most persistent clothing trends of the past couple of years. You may call it comfortable, or you may call it plain lazy, but now, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it’s officially called ‘athleisure’. While it’s defined as ‘casual clothing designed to be worn both for exercising and for general use’, athleisure is more than simply wearing regular gym clothing as part of your everyday wardrobe. It’s about finding items that fuse an athletic inspired silhouette and performance fabrics with the versatility of casual wear. Think Alexander Wang’s sports luxe collections, the Kanye West x Adidas Originals collaboration, or local label We Are Handsome’s graphically printed Lycra oufits. 62 The Beast | August 2016

Athleisure has even permeated traditional festival wear. If the recent Glastonbury Festival is anything to go by, this trend is taking over from the usual boho identikit accessories like flower crowns, feathered headdresses and bindis. This year’s festival fashion was more about retro 90s sports and indie references, with revellers taking subtler cues from catwalk athleisure by the likes of French fashion house Chloé, as well as high street sports brands. Perhaps at Byron Bay’s Splendour in the Grass this month we’ll see more Adidas Gazelles, sports bras worn as tops with printed leggings, and oversized logo hoodies - some of the key on-point pieces seen at Glastonbury in menswear and womenswear, alongside the festival staples of denim cut-offs and wellies.

Vie Active This luxury active wear brand was founded in Bondi and offers highperformance clothing made from a combination of sweat wicking compression fabrics and Australian Merino wool - technical and luxurious. Think sports bras designed for all shapes and leggings designed not to pinch and roll. On the streets this month I found… Name Terry Biviano Occupation Shoe designer Street Style Terry wears a Maison Valentino dress, Bulgari bag and Terry Biviano shoes. Name Kathryn Occupation Mum Street Style Kathryn wears an H Brand jacket, 3.1 Phillip Lim bag, shirt from Country Road and Zara jeans. Does your wardrobe represent the real you? Can’t find clothes that look right and flatter your figure? Contact Sharmin Musca Personal Stylist and Image Consultant on 0405 518 155.


Two chefs and a food critic.

The Unreliable Guide To... Cooking 
 Words Nat Shepherd Picture Con Vectionoven

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hy is everyone so obsessed with watching TV cooking shows? The telly is full of this nonsense and all my friends love it. Don’t get me wrong, food is great, but I have absolutely no interest in watching how it’s made. Having to endure this drivel on TV is bad enough, but when my mates come over for dinner now they expect something fancy served on a fluffy bed of something unpronounceable. The good old bowl-of-Dorritos-and-tub-of-dip combo just doesn’t cut the mustard any more. The pressure is on. If you ever find yourself in the same boat, the Unreliable Guide has some tips to help you fake that haute cuisine…

gather round and observe the rent-a-Nigella/Jamie chopping up rudely shaped veggies and suggestively licking her/his spoons, you’re free to do something more interesting. Like watching paint dry.

Hire caterers If you have a big dinner to prepare, get on the phone and organise some professionals to come in and do the lot. Why not? Everyone will enjoy themselves so much more. In fact, if you can afford it, pay the most attractive member of the catering team to stay and cook in your kitchen. While your friends

Invite your friends over to cook for you
 I never thought anyone would be stupid enough to fall for this, but a girl I know invited three friends round for a mock session of Come Dine With Me. The friends drew lots to see who would make the appetiser, main or dessert, and she judged it, giving some dollar-shop

Buy ready meals This is a no-brainer. Just buy everything you need ready made, and pretend you did it yourself. All you need to do is fire up the microwave, heat for the recommended time and then scoop the stuff onto plates. So that you don’t get caught out, make sure you hide all of the packaging, and for real authenticity, make some mess in the kitchen so it looks like you prepared it all with your own fair hands.

trinket as a prize for the winner. Everyone had a marvellous time. This is pure genius and I will be inviting you over soon to do the same for me. Pretend to be on a special diet
 Many of us are guilty of allergyfakery to some extent. Some people actually will die if they lick a peanut, but often we say we’re allergic to something when really we just don’t like it. Kale comes to mind. If you can’t be arsed to cook even though it’s your turn to play host, just pretend to have suddenly become a lactose-glucose-intolerant vegan. When you invite your friends round for ‘tofu surprise’ you’ll be gratified to see how quickly they refuse and leave you to it. Then you can order in the quattro formaggi pizza and stuff your face in peace. Finally, the Unreliable Guide suggests that if your friends care so much about food, maybe just dig deep and take them to a nice restaurant once in a while. That way everyone’s happy - so long as you pay the bill - and there’s no washing up to do after. August 2016 | The Beast 63


Installation of solar panels in Marks Park.

Top Three Solar Power Myths Debunked Words Nicola Saltman Picture Waverley Council

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hen the Beatles sang “here comes the sun, and I say, it’s all right”, they weren’t wrong. Neither are the 1.5 million sunpowered households across Australia that are sourcing carbon-free energy and enjoying reduced electricity bills. It’s not surprising that a whopping 30 per cent of homes in the sunshine state of Queensland with solar power think “it’s all right”. Analysts at Bloomberg New Energy Finance predict that half of all Australian consumers will have rooftop solar by 2040. Locally, we are falling behind in the sun chase. Despite our love of the sun-kissed lifestyle, only six per cent of Waverley’s dwellings have rooftop solar power. Despite its rising popularity, misconceptions still lurk in the shadows. Let’s set the record straight about a few of the top solar myths… Myth 1: Solar panels are expensive Solar power systems are more affordable than they’ve ever been. In fact, costs have fallen 80 per cent in the last 10 years, and continue to drop. Currently, the cost of an entry-level 1.5kW system averages $3,000 across Australia, equivalent to a nice computer. You’ll pay this back with bill savings within six years, so any future dollars saved can head straight to your pocket 64 The Beast | August 2016

(or the holiday account). With solar power expected to be one of the cheapest energy sources in coming years, it’s a good buffer against rising fossil fuel costs. Faith Wieland of Tamarama loves her solar system from MG Energy. “I have an app that shows us how much carbon we have saved each day. Basically everything electric is free all day while the sun is shining,” she said. Myth 2: You need a lot of sun – they don’t work in cloudy and cold places Solar panels rely on UV light and work well on overcast or foggy days, producing only a few per cent less power than they do on sunny and hot days. Panels are actually even more efficient when they’re cool. Take Germany as a shining example. It’s the global leader in residential solar adoption despite ranking low in sunny days. Myth 3: Solar panels are often installed badly and require constant maintenance With no moving parts, solar panels rarely require maintenance or cleaning. Plus, the average warranty lasts 25 years. In Australia, our solar industry is well regulated and safe. Each solar installer must

be a qualified electrician who has undergone additional training and accreditation for solar installations, and the main equipment must comply with Australian standards. See the Clean Energy Council’s free online consumer guide to help you get quality product and service at www.solaraccreditation.com.au/consumers. How is Waverley Council catching the sun? Council is making solar ‘second nature’ on 12 buildings. This includes five recent installations at Margaret Whitlam Recreation Centre, Tamarama Kiosk, Mill Hill Early Education Centre, Waverley Library, and the new Marks Park amenities block. These systems will produce clean, green electricity equivalent to powering 42 NSW homes, and cut carbon emissions equivalent to taking 79 cars off the road. Council is also helping local schools and preschools go solar with its ‘Solar My School’ project, a joint initiative between Woollahra, Randwick and Waverley Councils. Email anthony.weinberg@waverley. nsw.gov.au for more information. Have you gone solar? Tell your story at secondnature@waverley. nsw.gov.au.


old place and have since blown up on the local scene. Tip: Get stuck into a Bostino burger (Cape Grim Angus beef, pastrami, bacon, Swiss cheese, pickles, mustard, tomato, lettuce and ketchup) and try to tell me that it’s not delicious. Sadhana Kitchen Sadhana Kitchen is a vegan eatery and they are obsessed with organic, plant-based wholefoods. Now I realise that for everyone who is drawn in by that very sentence, there is a fat chunk of the population who are equally repelled. To those I say: try this stuff; it actually tastes bloody good. Tip: You don’t have to do a cleanse or a raw vegan high tea. Perhaps grab a hot chocolate or raw Twix. Don’t mind if I do.

Macelleria will still be serving these up a hundred years from now.

QTips #8 Bondi’s New Kids on the Block Words Niall Roeder Picture Gerhard Berger

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umping the gun is not a negative. You have to look ahead to see where you’re going; to not prepare is foolhardy. In this case it means looking towards the warmer months, because they aren’t really that far away. July is Sydney’s coldest month; that’s a scientific fact - I read it in a book. That means that it’s only going to get warmer from here on in. And just as spring brings growth and new beginnings in nature, the changing of the seasonal guard also means new life in Bondi. The culinary and cultural ecosystem that is the beach bubble will shed a few unfortunate organisms and spawn fresh shops and eateries, eager to carve out their own nook in the local landscape. Let’s take a peek at a few of the new kids on the block that look like putting down strong roots…

Milky Lane Yet another joint riding the burger wave, but are we complaining? Nope. The more places slapping meat between buns, the better. These guys are all about stacked burgers, monster thick shakes and cutting-edge cocktails – prepare to get messy and a little bit tipsy. With background hip-hop and a massive social media presence, I can’t see this place not doing well. Tip: Try a CoNut - an ice cream cone made of donut that’s overflowing with ice cream, sauce and treats. Get in. Macelleria Peter Zaidan and his team of meatologists run Macelleria - a butcher, provedore, and steak and burger bar. They aren’t new, as such, but they recently moved into a new venue triple the size of their

COFFEE Bondi Beach COFFEE is a new little café on Curlewis Street that does an exceptional brew. It is the only place that roasts its own coffee in Bondi, and they specialise in the procurement of single estate coffees. Basically everyone is a coffee snob these days and this place is a coffee snob utopia. Tip: Give the martini brew a go. When has anything martini ever been a bad idea? Paradise Road Kitchen Paradise Road Kitchen is Paradise Road Diner’s little sister. This awesome takeaway shop is across from North Bondi Surf Club and pays homage to the great Australian chicken shop. Their focus is on animals on the spit, which most will agree is a very, very good thing. Tip: Get into their rotisserie pork with crunchy AF crackling, fried rice and veggies. Yep, okay! The QT Concierge App, your little black book to the best of Bondi – cafes, bars, shops, restaurants, activities and more – is out now. Download it at https://itunes. apple.com/au/app/qt-gold-coastconcierge/id526442408. August 2016 | The Beast 65


A Week Unwinding in Aitutaki Words & Pictures The Bondi Travel Bug

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’ve been travelling the world now for over 40 years and recently had a day in Aitutaki, Cook Islands that I can only describe as one of my best. The Cook Islands is an archipelago of islands in the South Pacific Ocean, northeast of New Zealand, between French Polynesia and American Samoa. There are 15 major islands with a total land area of just 240 square kilometres. The two most renowned and popular tourist islands are Rarotonga, which I wrote about last month, and Aitutaki. It takes approximately 6 hours to fly to Rarotonga from Sydney, and a 50-minute flight from there will get you to Aitutaki. The 45-kilometre circumference lagoon that surrounds Aitutaki with its spectacular turquoise colours can be seen clearly from the air and its first sighting will leave you with a lasting memory.

The only issues I encountered were the odd goat meandering across the road or a horny rooster aggressively chasing a bewildered chicken – I now know why the chicken crossed the road! At just 18.05 square kilometres in size, and with a population of approximately 2,000 permanent residents, Aitutaki Island is best described as ‘intimate’. Whether you’re just walking around, cycling or driving, the atmosphere here is like that of a big, friendly extended family. A smile and a wave is second nature to the amiable locals. While in Aitutaki I was fortunate to stay at two very different but equally gorgeous resorts. The first was a three-night stay at the Pacific Resort, located on the west 66 The Beast | August 2016

side of the island. When you enter the reception area of the Pacific, you can look down and over part of the renowned Aitutaki lagoon that envelops the resort, and you immediately know you've arrived somewhere very special. A large chunk of my three nights at the Pacific was spent on a recliner beach bed strategically placed outside my sublime luxury beach villa. The rest of my time was spent lounging by the infinity pool, kayaking, stand-up paddling, snorkelling, and gorging on an amazing array of delicious food served in the restaurant overlooking the lagoon or the very cool bar by the pool. The only time I ventured out of the Pacific’s landscaped confines was in the afternoon to go riding around the island on the resort’s complimentary pushbikes. The island is flat and the other road users are very considerate, which makes cycling a real pleasure. The only issues I encountered were the odd goat meandering across the road or a horny rooster aggressively chasing a bewildered chicken – I now know why the chicken crossed the road! My priority was ensuring I was always back at the resort for sunset cocktails and to witness the remarkable colours of the lagoon when combined with Aitutaki’s dazzling sunsets. My next port of call in Aitutaki was a four-night stay at the island’s luxury adults only Aitutaki Lagoon Resort & Spa. This magnificent resort is located on its own private island that is accessed by a very short ferry ride - approximately 90 seconds short! It’s hard to describe this place without going into superlative overload, but stunning, spectacular, paradise, utopia, heavenly, captivating and nirvana all seem quite apt. The coconut palm trimmed shoreline frames the indescribable colours of the world’s most beautiful lagoon for as far as the eye can see.

My first impressions of the island were something like an adult version of the scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when the children first sighted all the candy. My eyes were popping out of my head.

You get to snorkel in the crystal clear waters of the lagoon where you discover huge clams, blue starfish, manta rays, turtles, and an abundance of tropical fish. Once settled into my exquisite overwater bungalow, I ventured out to the watersports area and launched myself onto a stand-up paddleboard, then later I baptised a double kayak with my travel partner and we paddled our way around the lagoon. While there’s a plethora of activities to do in Aitutaki, there is only one I would recommend very highly, and that is the full day lagoon tour. You get to snorkel in the crystal clear waters of the lagoon where you discover huge clams, blue starfish, manta rays, turtles, and an abundance of tropical fish. You also get to visit uninhabited islands including One Foot Island, with its lush native flora and fauna, and pass by beaches that are footprint free with water that only a heavily retouched glossy brochure could hope to reproduce. The island tour experience will no doubt be one of your best days. Aere ra and meitaki - goodbye and thank you! How to get there Vicki Gilden at Rose Bay Travel (02) 9371 8166 How to book accommodation www.paradises.com


Celebrity tongueys.

The Difficulties of Being Bisexual Words Matty Silver, Sex Therapist Picture Alan Tongue

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ver the years I have encountered several clients who've told me they are bisexual. One of them had a dilemma. A woman in her late twenties, she had experienced several short-term relationships with women and men since she was a teenager. For the past three years she had been in a monogamous relationship with a male partner, and now he had asked her to marry him. She loved him and they both wanted to have children. The problem was that she had never told him that she is bisexual; she 68 The Beast | August 2016

prefered to be in a heterosexual relationship because settling down and having a family was very important to her. Now her dilemma was: should she tell him or not? I am often surprised how many people know very little about their partner's sexual past. Sometimes this is because they don't know how to ask, or they don't want to know because of insecurity or jealousy. Having to compete with a member of the opposite sex can be even more daunting! Most people don't understand the concept of bisexuality, and the

assumption is often made that ‘you are either gay, straight, or lying’. Many bisexual people complain that they feel like outsiders who fit in to neither the gay nor the straight world. It's difficult for them to find acceptance and there are very few role models. Gay men often believe that bisexual men are really gay, but in denial. Bisexual women are often mistrusted by lesbians for ‘sleeping with the enemy’, while straight women may reject bisexual men out of a misguided fear they may have HIV or other sexual transmitted infections. Bisexual men are told to make up their minds. The sex researcher Alfred Kinsey noted more than 50 years ago that sexual attraction varies along a continuum and he devised a seven-point scale to describe this. At one end are people who are exclusively heterosexual and at the other end are people who are exclusively homosexual. In between are many graduations of desire. This third category, meaning people with some significant attraction to both genders, is called bisexuality. Many bisexuals avoid coming out because they don't want to deal with misconceptions that bisexuals are indecisive or incapable of monogamy, or going through a phase (stereotypes that also exist among straights, gays and lesbians alike). They also feel that they are sometimes shunned by the gay and lesbian, and the straight world alike. So with all the myths and prejudices that bisexuals experience, will they be more accepted in the near future? There are many gay characters in the movies and on TV, but very few bisexual ones. As for celebrities, Anna Paquin, Megan Fox, Lady Gaga and Angelina Jolie have openly stated that they are bisexual, but maybe it's slightly more acceptable for women. Katy Perry famously performed a song called 'I Kissed a Girl' and Madonna kissed Britney Spears on stage, but I doubt that Justin Bieber or Bruno Mars would ever dare to kiss a boy!


Zika virus in blood.

Zika, Zika, Zika - Oi, Oi, Oi! Words Alasdair McClintock Picture New Scientist

Together we can change the world”, the Olympics website boldly proclaims. It is a noble message, especially when paired with the prerequisite hashtag: #OlympicPeace. If only hashtags could change the world. If only the bad guys were listening. They are wonderful sentiments and you won't see them touted for any other major sporting event, but it is a sad indictment on the modern world that they have been massively overshadowed in the lead up to Rio. Barely spoken of, even. Perhaps it is just because I'm getting older and more aware, but the incessant stream of negative media, both social and otherwise, has seemed particularly vociferous for these Games. Fears about the Zika virus, dirty water and violence constantly force their way into our consciousness, and one could be forgiven for thinking that anyone who travels to Rio is going to come back either sick or shot, if not both.

Are we all so cynical that we can't allow a bit of naive joy into our lives? For once I would just like to be able to switch off and enjoy something without worrying about deformed babies and classdriven poverty. Ignorance is bliss, after all. But then that's just sticking my head in the sand, isn't it? It would be nice to simply appreciate these Olympics as a unifying spectacle; to see some enormous people throw discs and heavy iron balls through the air for no other reason than good old competition. I can't imagine any of them are actually having fun, are they? Could shot put ever be considered 'fun'? It’s great if you win, sure, but otherwise it seems pretty dull and painful. The invasion of professional sports and overpaid athletes with 'a dream' has definitely taken some of the fun out of the Olympics. Ironically, with all their money they cheapen what the Games is about - the history of which is really quite interesting. Stretching

back almost 3000 years, it’s dotted with great stories and incredible human endeavour. Yet professionals just don't seem as human. They are nothing like you and me, or the Aussie farmer who happens to be unnervingly good at ping pong. We all loved Iceland's unlikely run in Euro 2016 recently because of their against-all-odds underdog story and the fact that their goal keeper was only a part-timer. I want to cheer on an accountant from Ballarat, not a finely tuned machine with a huge pay packet and even bigger ego. Australian golfer Adam Scott made a lot of sense when he explained why he wasn't partaking in Rio. He was refreshingly honest in saying they'd be much better off leaving it to the amateurs. So for these Games, I am going to throw all cynicism aside, forget the world's troubles and get behind the amateurs who have dedicated their lives to ridiculous things like competitive walking. They are the real sporting heroes. August 2016 | The Beast 69


Subject Lines for days Location Coogee Photographer Franck Gazzola - @frothersgallery

Subject Solo man Location Bondi Photographer Claire Favre - @miss_barra

Subject Boardriders Location Maroubra Photographer Tes Ross

Subject Novelty surfs Location Nielsen Park Photographer Jakob de Zwart - @jakobdezwart

Subject Ships of the beach Location Bondi Photographer Jane Herring

The Beast wants your local photographs...


Subject Morning sets Location Tamarama Photographer Franck Gazzola - @frothersgallery

Subject Clovelly 'Ironman' Dave Hatch Location Papua New Guinea Photographer Duncan Horscroft

Subject What lifts you Location Bondi Photographer Poppy Wolanski

Subject Nuns in the sun Location Coogee Photographer Phil O'Toole

Subject Bird's eye view Location Gordons Bay Photographer Franck Gazzola - @frothersgallery

...email them to photos@thebeast.com.au


My dream gig... would be Arcade Fire, more Arcade Fire, and Arcade Fire supporting Queen (RIP Freddie). If you come to see me play, you can expect... music and singing and probably me! There was one time when I was starting out... when I thought the (sound engineering term) ‘foldback’ was ‘fallback’. When people said foldback it sounded like fallback, and I don’t think that’s entirely unreasonable to assume. My drummer patronisingly corrected me about a year into touring when he realised I was saying fallback. If I could have chosen one song to have written it would have to be... 'No Cars Go' by Arcade Fire as a general music piece, or 'Waste of Paint' by Conor Oberst as a songwriter’s magnum opus. It’s a bit more depressed than what I usually write, but that song has always stuck with me, both musically and lyrically.

Soaring to glorious heights.

Sydney Songstress Set to Reach Glorious Heights Words Dan Hutton Picture Johnny Nicolaidis

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ydney-based singer-songwriter Montaigne is truly something to behold. With a new album, Glorious Heights, set to drop on August 5, and a national tour about to hit the road in September (with a Sydney show scheduled for October 8 at the Oxford Art Factory), we were fortunate enough to catch up with the thrilling, unconfined songstress during the month… If I had to describe my sound in one sentence, I’d say it’s... audible, for sure.

72 The Beast | August 2016

My first memory of music is... I’m not sure I really know what my first memory is because of documented evidence of my past (in the form of home videos and photos) interfering with what I truly remember and what I think I remember as prompted by those stimuli. An early memory, whether it be superlatively early or not, or even from true memory, would be me and my sister singing karaoke to 'Lucky' by Britney Spears on the shitty karaoke DVD we had. We certainly had quite a lot of flair as kids.

My favourite song to perform would have to be... 'I’m a Fantastic Wreck'. It’s always fun, and always has a good vibe. It’s very much a group song. Drunk people love it. The best thing about the local music scene is... how small it is. You meet everyone, and I am very gregarious. I like feeling comfortable in my natural habitat, as all people do. One person I’d still really like to record with is... Owen Pallett. My biggest fan has got be... my mum, obviously. I’ll know I have made it when... David Byrne is like, “Yeah, I dig it.” To find out more about Montaigne, please visit... www.montaignemusic.com.au or search 'Montaigne' on Facebook.


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August 2016 | The Beast 73


Album #1 Artist Dustin Tebbutt Album First Light Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  'Inoffensive' probably isn't the word most musicians would want used to describe them, but I would like to assure Mr Tebbutt that I mean it in the nicest of ways. For me, his unobjectionable sound is part of the appeal. I can put it on in the background and merrily go about whatever it is I need to do - a pleasant soundtrack to my day, if you will. He is a little guilty of sounding too much like his influences at times, but there are signs a distinctly Tebbutt din is not too far away. For now we'll just have to settle for this easylistening gem.

Album #2 Movie Review Title Swiss Army Man Genre Comedy, Adventure Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador Remember when you were a kid and you thought fart jokes were the funniest thing ever (or was that just me)? Well, now you can relive those childish moments with this wildly imaginative, provocative and heartfelt comedy by the award winning co-writing/directing team of Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert. After being marooned on a desert island, Hank (Paul Dano) has given up all hope of being rescued and is on the verge of suicide. That is until he finds Manny (Daniel Radcliffe), and they embark on the most bizarre adventure you could possibly imagine and discover that life really is beautiful, and worth living. With this type of film you are better off not knowing too much about the plot. I will say, though, that there is a corpse, farting, a playful music score by Manchester Orchestra, and a huge amount of surreal imagery. It fills the void many of us find in mainstream films - that is, to go outside the norm, experiment and have fun doing it. So if you tend to gravitate towards the outrageously absurd and unpredictable, this is a film you will definitely enjoy. Just remember to keep an open mind because, as Radcliff said when he read the script, it’s “too much fun to pass up”! 74 The Beast | August 2016

Artist Radiohead Album A Moon Shaped Pool Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  The world's most popular weirdos are at it again and they haven't disappointed. This is dark, dreamy, catchy and pretty bloody brilliant. You would think being in one of the most respected and revered bands of the contemporary age would make you happy, but evidently not. Here they are as sombre as they've ever been, while walking their usual tightrope between pop and experimentation better than anyone has before. It's this ability that has helped them to remain both commercially viable and artistically admired over the course of their career, and after thirty years they're still kicking goals.

Album #3 Artist Garbage Album Strange Little Birds Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating  It's hard not to feel a little nostalgic when listening to Garbage. I think most of us, male and female, bore some sought of affection for Shirley Manson in the 90s, whether as a horny teenager's crush or a strong female role model, or both. Because of this, I am predisposed to enjoying this album more than I otherwise would. It's not really all that great, but it feels nice to be listening to new Garbage, even if it goes nowhere the lofty heights of their earlier work. It probably won't win them any new fans, but Strange Little Birds has already motivated me to dust off Version 2.0, and for that reason alone it's a winner.


Arts & Entertainment from Around the Beaches... Words Madeleine Gray Picture John Hamilton

Sydney Jewish Writers’ Festival Following five sold out popup events this year with major international guests, the main event – the Sydney Jewish Writers’ Festival – is now here. Taking place from August 27-28 at iconic venues in the Waverley municipality, the SJWF features writers and ideas from around the globe. Books are just the beginning in this showcase of Jewish literary and cultural life for the entire community. The full program and tickets are available now at www.sjwf.org.au. Cinema for Families Living with Autism Randwick’s Ritz Cinema is proud to present Sensory Friendly Films to families living with autism. Sensory Friendly Films allow families to enjoy their favourite films in a safe and accepting environment with the cinema lights turned up and the sound turned down. Ritz Cinema is the first exhibitor in NSW to offer this exciting and long-awaited new initiative. Sessions will commence once a month from September, starting with Finding Dory on Saturday, September 17 at 11am.

Gazing Gavin.

Tickets are heavily discounted at $10 for children and adults. Tickets can be purchased online at www.ritzcinema.com.au or at the box office. Randwick Artisan Markets Randwick Artisan Markets is the latest artisan market in the Eastern Suburbs. It’s a treasure trove of emerging local artists and designers. Each stallholder has been hand selected for their unique product range, and, excitingly, many are trading for the very first time. All clothes, jewellery, beauty products and home wares are lovingly handmade in Sydney. Randwick Artisan Markets is a reminder of what a market should be about: a showcase of local creativity! The August market will be held on Sunday, August 7 from 10am-4pm at the Royal Randwick Shopping Centre. We Love ‘The Garbage Guy’ Garbage guys and gals are among the most tirelessly hardworking people in our community: they are up at the crack of dawn, dealing with the smelly rubbish the rest of us just want to get rid of, and almost always with smiles on

their faces. Local writer Elizabeth Cummings has written a children’s book to celebrate these stoic workers, called ‘The Garbage Guy’. It is illustrated by Sydney University student and local artist Johanna Roberts, and features many familiar Eastern Suburbs landmarks. Grab a copy for your grommet from Amazon, and celebrate selfless tenacity! Culture Club is Back The Sydney Opera House’s arts talks series, Culture Club, returns from August this year in a new evening format that provides after-work inspiration and pretheatre provocation. Launched in 2015, Culture Club is a forum that allows arts lovers of all kinds to explore the big ideas and issues informing the Australian cultural landscape. Sessions are held monthly on Tuesday evenings from August to December and feature diverse perspectives from Australian artists, thinkers and cultural leaders. You’ll hear from legends like Germaine Greer, Michael Lynch and David McAllister AM. You can find out more at www.sydneyoperahouse. com/cultureclub.


From Catalina to Coogee.

X74: One of Coogee’s Finest

Words Dining Dave Instagram @diningdave Picture Grant Brooks

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his may be the best eatery that I have reviewed for The Beast. If you live in Coogee and have not eaten at X74, you need to go there immediately. What Tim Hughes and Nathan Hollowell have created here is much more than a café, and much more than a restaurant. It isn’t new – it’s been down near the intersection of Bream Street and Carrington Road for four years now – and it’s easy to find, but getting a seat isn’t always so simple, as evidenced by the full tables on the footpath and the queue of hungry people that my two companions and I encountered when we walked up to X74 late one recent Sunday morning. Escorted to an indoor table on the edge of the footpath, I learned that both Tim (originally from Wales) and Nathan honed their

76 The Beast | August 2016

vision during the years they spent working at Catalina in Rose Bay. Tim is right in the middle of the ground-level action, even bussing his own tables at the peak of the rush. The café isn’t flashy; the décor is simple red brick with black chalkboards for the most part. The real value comes from the effort they put in, like making two runs to the fish market on a Sunday to make sure the freshest seafood is served, and growing native herbs in the rear garden. We started off with a few coffees from Allpress roasters, then ordered two of the day’s specials: the hot smoked salmon, and the ham and cheddar gallette with crumbed eggs. X74 also specialises in fresh juice creations, so we shared a smooth ‘Recovery Cleanser’ of cucumber, apple and beetroot, to

help with the hangover from the night before. Visually, the dishes were stunning. The smoked salmon was cooked just a little under and placed on top of a bed of asparagus spears, two poached eggs and a fried potato hash, with just the right amount of hollandaise sauce to bring it all together. I had never seen crumbed poached eggs before, but head chef Nathan really made it work with the cheesy gallette, which simply melted on my lips. Not letting us sit back and digest, our cheery Italian waitress, Debra, brought us out some more creations – delicious fish sliders made from fresh scallops, snapper and home-pickled cucumber with a dash of aioli, and the blow-meaway dish of the day, Spanish mackerel on a bed of julienne zucchini, cauliflower puree and capers for that extra bit of salty flavor. We washed it down with some aromatic Dreissigacker Riesling from Tim’s growing Reserve list. For dessert (all of which are hand-prepared, of course) we went for the chocolate and hazelnut delice with wattle seeds, and the pear and macadamia tart with ice cream. Each was too good for words. While we trod the line between breakfast and lunch, Tim was quick to point out that they also do dinner from Thursday to Saturday each week, even in winter. Overall, between the care, freshness, commitment to the food, and excellent service and atmosphere, X74 is to me is among Coogee’s finest. X74 Address 10 Bream St, Coogee Phone (02) 9665 2222 Instagram @x74cafecoogee Facebook www.facebook.com/ x74.com.au Email info@X74.com.au Open Mon–Wed, Sun: 7am– 4pm, Thu–Sat: 7am–10pm Prices $12 - $32 Cards Accepted Yes Licensed Fully Licensed


Stuart and Gary about to make the magic happen.

Beechworth’s Best A Wander Through Warner Vineyard Words Alex Russell Picture Warner Vineyard Instagram @OzWineGuy

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he Warner Vineyard has made quite a name for itself. Fruit from the vineyard is sold to two highly regarded producers: Giaconda and Jamsheed. Giaconda is generally recognised as being in the highest echelon of Australian producers, and sommeliers go nuts for Jamsheed. In 2012, the winemaker from Jamsheed, Gary Mills, started making wine for the Warner Vineyard to sell under its own label. I met with Stuart Warner and Jeffrey Rohde (his agent) when they were in Sydney recently. Great guys with great wines. The Warner Vineyard is in Beechworth (northern Victoria) and the Miner’s Rest Hotel was a pub in Beechworth during the gold rush era, hence the label’s ‘The Rest’ range. Future releases will follow a similar gold rush era pub theme and, from what I hear, these future releases will be fascinating. Watch this space. 2013 ‘The Rest’ Chardonnay There is some great Chardonnay coming out of Beechworth, and this is no exception. I love Chardonnay made with indig-

enous (a.k.a. ‘wild’) yeast, as this is, as it has some real character to it. The oak here is one to two year-old French stuff, so it doesn’t overpower. It’s drinking very well now and will develop over the next few years. Have this with your next roast chicken. 2014 Roussanne Marsanne Many won’t know these grapes, so here’s a quick rundown. Grenache, Shiraz and Mataro/Mourvedre are the three main red Rhone grapes, while Viognier, Marsanne and Roussanne are three of the most commonly used white Rhone grapes. Some of you will have ventured into Viognier territory before. Venture a little further and you’ll find an incredibly rich wine, which is Stuart’s preferred style for Roussanne-type wines. It’s spent 10 months on lees (adding to the richness) and has gone into older oak to add some flavour and texture without overpowering the wine. Stuart prefers not to blend grapes together (he likes varietal expression), so you might see a straight Roussanne in other vintages, but sometimes blending

actually makes for better wines and that’s what’s happened here. This is a really lovely, big white. 2013 ‘The Rest’ Shiraz And now we come to what the vineyard is famous for: Shiraz. 2013 was a sensational year for Shiraz in Beechworth. A lot of love has gone into making this wine. Handpicked, indigenous yeast, 60 per cent whole bunch. It’s a belter of a Shiraz. The first things you taste are gorgeously fresh, vibrant, red berry flavours – the freshness is quite remarkable. Then as the wine goes on, you come across layer after layer of complexity. If you’ve never tried Beechworth Shiraz before, give it a go. If you have tried it, you’ve probably already placed your next order halfway through reading this article! Keep an eye on Twitter (@WarnerVineyard) for new outlets in Sydney. At the time of printing, the wines are available at the Four in Hand Hotel and Oak Barrel, with more stockists to come. August 2016 | The Beast 77


coarse flour 1/2 cup buckwheat flour 1/2 cup desiccated coconut 2 tsp baking powder 1/2 cup chopped pecans 1 tsp coconut oil to oil cake tin 1 extra banana, sliced lengthways, to push into batter in the tin Optional: 1/4 cup maple syrup for a sweeter bread Method 1. Preheat oven to 180˚C (350˚F). 2. Process oats into a coarse flour using your food processor. 3. Peel bananas and mash in a large bowl (leave one for topping). 4. Add tahini, almond milk, flax seeds/egg, salt, spices and baking powder. Mix until well combined. 5. Add oat and buckwheat flour and mix well, then mix through the coconut and chopped pecans. 6. Oil the cake tin and spoon batter inside. 7. Slice the remaining banana in half lengthways, then smooth the top of the batter and press each half of the banana into the mixture. Very fancy tea and toast.

Chai Spiced Banana Bread

Words & Picture Tamika Woods

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inter is the perfect time for baking. Give this deliciously moist banana bread recipe with a hint of chai spices a go next time the rain tries to ruin your weekend. It’s perfect fresh from the oven or toasted with a spoonful of coconut yoghurt and fresh raspberries on top. Preparation time 10 minutes Cooking time 50 minutes 78 The Beast | August 2016

Ingredients Serves 8 3 very ripe bananas (the blacker the better) 1 tbsp tahini 2 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp nutmeg 1 tsp ginger 1/2 tsp clove 1/2 tsp cardamom Pinch of salt 1/2 cup almond milk 1 egg (or 1 tbsp flax seeds for vegan version) 3/4 cup oats, processed into a

8. Bake for 50-60 minutes until golden on top and a wooden skewer comes out clean. Note If you want you can make these as muffins. Just halve the baking time and omit the banana on top. Tamika Woods is a Nutritional Medicine student and founder of Sproutly Stories, a new health food blog designed to translate evidence-based information into digestible pieces of knowledge. Her wholesome recipe ideas inspire others to implement their health learnings in an easy and delicious way. For more guilt free recipes from Tamika, please visit www.sproutlystories.com.


Method 1.Preheat the oven to 200°C (400°F). 2. Warm a small frying pan over a medium heat and melt the coconut oil in it. Add all of the tomatoes and cook for 2 minutes, then remove from the heat. 3. Lightly grease four 250ml (9 fl oz/1 cup) capacity ramekins with coconut oil. Divide the baby spinach and sautéed tomatoes evenly between the ramekins, then crack an egg into each nest of spinach and tomatoes. 4. Place a dollop of labneh over each egg and top with a sprig of dill, then place the ramekins on a baking tray (baking sheet) and bake in the oven for 15–20 minutes. 5. Once cooked, remove from the oven and let stand for 5 minutes before serving.

Warm up your winter mornings.

Baked Eggs with Spinach and Labneh

Recipe & Image from Seasons to Share by Jacqueline Alwill

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aked eggs are such an easy, impressive brekky dish, with a banging combo of proteins, carbs and fats. This recipe is both gluten and sugar free, meaning the coeliacs and health freaks out there will love it. My top tip when cooking this dish is that if the eggs still look slightly undercooked on top when you remove them from the oven, that’s actually a good thing - they’ll keep cooking in the hot tomatoes and will be perfect by the time you serve them.

Bondi local Jacqueline Alwill is a qualified, practicing nutritionist, personal trainer, whole foods cook and, most importantly, mother to Jet. She is committed to improving the health, wellbeing and happiness of all individuals. In her first cookbook, Seasons to Share, Jacqueline has brought together a delightful collection of beautiful seasonal wholefoods recipes for all occasions. Seasons to Share (Murdoch Books) is available now in all good bookstores and online.

Ingredients Serves 4 1 teaspoon coconut oil, plus extra for greasing 200g (7 oz) tinned (or fresh) roma tomatoes, roughly chopped 2 handfuls of cherry tomatoes, halved 50g (1 oz/1 cup firmly packed) baby spinach leaves 4 eggs 2 tablespoons labneh (goats cheese or feta also work well) 4 small sprigs of dill, or other soft herb of choice August 2016 | The Beast 79


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Across 1. 2016 NBA Finals MVP (6,5) 7. Item in a movie or play; rugby position (4) 8. Modern Iranian; type of rug (7) 9. More than one (6) 10. One-twelfth of the year (5) 12. Mythical South American city of gold (2,6) 13. Television show, The Fresh Prince of … Air (3) 16. ‘If ’ in French (2) 17. Something that goes into cooking a meal (10) 18. Not off (2) 19. Abbreviated alternative to the HSC that originated in Switzerland (1,1) 22. Marvel comic book character played by Paul Rudd, … Man (3) 23. Alternative title to Leslie Nielsen’s Flying High (8)

Down 2. Tasmanian actor famous for playing romantic, swashbuckler roles in Hollywood films (5,5) 3. Range of skills at one’s disposal (10) 4. Country for which Kathmandu is the capital (5) 5. American psychologist famous for theorising the ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ (6) 6. Little colourful chocolates (8) 11. Someone who has a particular regard for someone or something (7) 14. Legally answerable (6) 15. Escargot (5) 17. Ninth letter of the Greek alphabet; small amount (4) 20. Steven Spielberg film about an alien (1,1) 21. Nickname for grandfather (2)

Trivial Trivia

Words Dan Hutton Picture Claire Favre Instagram @miss_barra 1.True or false: In 2008 Bill Shorten left his wife for the daughter of then GovernorGeneral, Quentin Bryce? 2. How old was musician Prince when he passed away earlier this year? 3. How many grand slam singles finals has Scottish tennis sensation Andy Murray lost?

Sunrise reflections. 80 The Beast | August 2016

4. ‘Suicide is Painless’ was the theme song for which TV series and movie? 5. In Australian politics, how many lower seats does a party need to hold to form a majority government? 6. Which NZ resort town sits on the banks of Lake Wakatipu? 7. Which Australian actor was

depicted in the 2015 Archibald Prize People’s Choice and Packing Room Prize winning portrait? 8. Does a moa have feathers, fur or fins? 9. Who provided the voice of Dory in the Pixar animated films Finding Nemo and Finding Dory? 10. In which local cemetery is poet Henry Lawson buried?


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RUTH

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Libra Sep 24-Oct 23 If you don't already own property in this town you're zero chance of getting a start unless a long lost relative karks it and leaves you a few mill.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 Let shit go. The only way to be happy is by forgiving and moving on, at least until you get a good opportunity for revenge.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22 It must feel pretty shit knowing you're going to spend the rest of your life doing something you don't even really like.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 Exercise extreme caution when asking a friend if they are pregnant. This seemingly innocent question has ruined many a friendship.

Words Beardy from Hell

Star Signs

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 22 Einstein's definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result. Isn't that what you're doing?

Taurus Apr 21-May 20 The tax man never sleeps. You can run from him, but he will catch you. Get your tax return done and dusted as soon as possible and rest easy.

Leo Jul 24-Aug 23 Regardless of what life throws at you, the more of a prick you are the worse you will feel, therefore the nicer you should be.

Capricorn Dec 23-Jan 20 Even if you burn a bridge, there's always the option of swimming back across to the other side through the shark-infested waters.

Gemini May 21-Jun 21 Don't let this shit weather get you down. I know it's been a long winter, but you need to lift your head up and soldier on.

Virgo Aug 24-Sep 23 Yep, you look great on that high horse of yours, but the beliefs you so loudly espouse don't make you a better person, your behaviour does.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 The best way to deal with your problems is to run away. Problems can't run, but they're good at waiting and they certainly don't forget.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 23 Why are you such a rude c**t? Is it because you're weak and afraid? Rudeness is the pissweak human's imitation of strength.

 Charlie’s

Trivial Trivia Solutions 1. True 2. 57 3. Eight 4. M*A*S*H 5. 76 6. Queenstown 7. Michael Caton 8. Feathers 9. Ellen Degeneres 10. Waverley Cemetery 1

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43 Burnie Street, Clovelly NSW 2031

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Selling your home for its maximum potential doesn’t happen by chance. At McGrath we pride ourselves on our vast local area knowledge, our relationships within the community and our exceptional results. To speak with our team for any of your real estate needs, please contact one of our Eastern beaches specialists today.

Simon Exleton 0414 549 966

Eitan Rubinstein 0401 373 731

Marnie Seinor 0425 255 200

Lorraine Crawford 0412 274 545

Mark Redhill 0417 491 598

Andrew Stewart 0422 227 228

mcgrath.com.au

Damian Steele 0411 832 584

The Beast - August 2016  

The August 2016 edition of The Beast featuring Liv Phyland...

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