The Beast - April 2024

BEAST

in the 1st quarter when you wear your Swans jersey ALL

ANZAC DAY

25th April

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Plenty Going On

Words James Hutton - Publisher

Welcome to the April 2024 edition of The Beast, the monthly magazine for Sydney’s busy beaches of the east.

This month’s beautiful cover painting of Coogee comes from Bronte artist Nick Hollo, whose exhibition, Intertidal, will be showing at the Dickerson Gallery in Woollahra from March 15 to April 7. You can see Nick’s work at the gallery’s website, www.dickersongallery.com.au.

Mal Ward will be holding this year’s Forever Johnno fundraiser in Selina’s at the Coogee Bay Hotel on Friday, April 26 (to coincide with his 60th birthday). There will be prizes, raffles, auctions and live music with Nick Andrews & Friends. All proceeds go to the Clancy Ward at the Children’s Hospital

at Westmead, where Johnno received his care. If you’d like to donate, call 0414 293 396 or email mal@greataussiebbq.com.

The very organised people who run the Bondi Pavilion have a big calendar of events for April, including the book launch of The Work by Bri Lee on April 3; the second National Theatre Live screening, broadcasting Good (starring David Tennant) on April 7; and the Dennis Golding exhibition, POWER - The Future is Here, created in collaboration with First Nations school children, will run until May 5. Jonathan Seidler will also be launching his new book, All the Beautiful Things You Love, on April 30. For the school holidays, the kids will love learning parkour and acro skills at Creative Planet by Legs on the Wall on April 20-21; diving into an interactive VR game at Sun Runners Audio Play from April 24-27;

and making capes as part of the Dennis Golding exhibition. For more information, please visit www.bondipavilion.com.au.

I’ve included Isabelle Kidd’s short story, The Storm, in this edition. Isabelle won first place in the short story category of The Beast Young Writers Competition - awesome, especially considering she’s only 12 years old! Cheers, James

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Book

Bad Dogs and Their Errant Owners

Words Pearl Bullivant Photo Ray Bees

Local Dog Problems

Hi The Beast - I would like to know how to get in contact with Pearl, as I need to send information regarding some really bad issues with dogs and their owners around Bronte, particularly in some parks, the beach and promenade areas, the ocean pool itself and Waverley Cemetery, as well as the lack of help I’ve received from the authorities.

Thanks and regards,

Josh

Bronte

Cats Will Rule Supreme

Dear Josh - Your letter exudes a gossip columnist vibe of ‘guess who, don’t sue’, and I’m begging for you to spill the beans on the ‘bad issues’ with dogs and their owners.

Pearl loves a scandal, so I’m hoping these issues involve a

high-profile dog owner indulging in crazy cocaine-fuelled behaviour like encouraging their pooch to defecate on grave sites, or an NRL WAG influencer Instagramming a bikini-attired kelpie paddling in the Bronte Bogey Hole.

Unfortunately for Pearl, I suspect the issues are not as salacious as imagined and are instead frustrating incidents perpetrated by puffed up affluent people that eventually send one over the edge (like yummy mummies parking across one’s driveway at school drop-off).

One of the many societal ills emerging from the COVID crisis (together with long COVID, anti-vaxxers, greed, obscene house prices and price gouging) has been an increase in bad issues with dogs and their errant owners. ‘COVID canines’, as they have been dubbed, were

purchased during the pandemic as a nice thing to have (like a stash of toilet paper, flour and pasta); an accessory to take to cafés, a surrogate child without boundaries or doggy discipline. In a world of entitlement to wealth, beauty and happiness, there is an expectation that one can take their dog anywhere, to have it unleashed, to enjoy all the benefits of ownership with no responsibility for the negative impact that one’s behaviour has on the enjoyment of others, including that of other dog owners. There’s nothing worse than taking one’s well-behaved ball of fluff for a walk along the Bronte promenade, only to have it bailed up by an unleashed dog owned by someone with a small penis and a huge SUV to compensate.

Since the authorities have failed to assist you with the issues that you have kept under wraps, I suggest that you start a petition to ban dogs, like the attempted ban on cats in the Omaui township of New Zealand. Should this flounder, console yourself with the fact that indoor cats have increased in popularity due to the cultural influences of the lovely Taylor Swift and the film Argylle.

Cats are the ‘purrfect’ pet in this brave new world created by greedy property developers hell-bent on us all living in shoddily constructed high rise, with zero concessions made for green spaces for dog walking, kite flying or ball sports. Cats, like my Persian, Pushkin, will soon rule supreme, and we will have the Urban Task Force and Harry Triguboff to blame for their world domination.

The upside will be that these ‘bad issue’ dogs, with their insecure owners in their stupid oversized vehicles, will thankfully exist no more.

Just a dog attacking a kid.

The

The Storm

Words Isabelle Kidd, Randwick Photo Andy Irons

There once was an Irish sailor who arrived with his family to the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney, Australia, in the early 1800s. His name was John, and he had light skin and blonde wavy hair that matched perfectly with his deep, dark blue eyes.

Everyone in Ireland and Sydney named him ‘Ghost’ because he could get past anyone without them hearing a single sound. Sometimes he would sneak up on his wife, Eveline, the best baker in town, who had dark red hair and brown-gold eyes, and his two daughters, Jemima, the eldest, and Avery, the youngest.

John taught the young girls everything about sailing when he was home, but most of the time Ghost went out on the Red Bluster, setting off from Gordon’s Bay with his crew to fish and discover new places.

Jemima and Avery also enjoyed the smell of freshly baked bread and adored the taste of sweet pastries, so they helped their mother in the bakery. Jemima, Avery and Eveline waited day after day for their beloved. Sometimes they waited for months, hoping nothing bad happened to him.

Days passed, and Ghost came back with tropical fruit, jars of sand and shells from different islands and jewellery of many varied cultures. Every night when he did come home, he would sing a song to put them to sleep.

He always sang the same one, Wellerman. It was sung by his father, his father’s father, his father’s father’s father, and so on.

The reason why the same song was sung was because he was the descendant of many sailors before him - in fact, all of his ancestors were either sailors or pirates. The girls loved it, and sometimes, if they were lucky enough, their father would play guitar along to the song.

On the night of the 28th of February, 1816, Jemima, Avery and Eveline didn’t know that night would be his last song.

The following morning it was like a hurricane outside, but that didn’t stop the men from getting on board. They packed all the food they needed, 15 whole barrels of clothes, spare sails, extra ropes and lots of wood.

Avery was helping her father carry in the ropes when she saw something floating in the sky that frightened her. It was the biggest, darkest storm cloud she had ever seen. From where they were, she could see extremely bright lightning flashing.

There was no way she was letting her father’s ship go into that gigantic storm!

“Dad!” she called, “don’t go out there, you’re going to get trapped!”

“Don’t worry, we know the way of the water!” her father replied.

She wouldn’t let them go that easily.

“Listen to me Dad, you cannot go out there, it’s too dangerous!”

“Don’t tell me what to do, I am your father, I know what’s best.”

“But Dad…”

Her father stopped her right there.

“Either you stay silent and stand with your sister and

mother patiently, or you go and cook dinner, because that’s what women are supposed to do!”

She didn’t want to argue with her father anymore, so she went to stand beside her sister and mother. A few sweaty, heavy lifting hours later, and they were ready to go. The sailors waved goodbye to their families and friends, promising that they would be back soon, then they set sail.

Floating on the calm water wondering where they would arrive next; what a bliss it was to be out there on the bright blue ocean, listening to all the wonderful sounds that marine life can bring.

But this paradise could quickly change into something that no one would want to get stuck in - a fierce storm! It was the same one that Avery had spotted earlier, but close up it was a real nightmare. The storm had dragged the Red Bluster straight into the Devil’s Sea, a part of the Pacific Ocean with the strongest current that no one in all of history could ever escape.

The crew tried everything they could to survive. They pulled and cut ropes, but it was all useless. Instead of getting away from the current, they were only getting closer and closer until there was no turning back.

The ship crashed into hard, sharp rocks and started taking on water fast. The crew split into two groups, half navigating the boat to try and escape the storm, the other half to get most of the water out and block the hole.

But their efforts were hopeless and their cries for help went unheard against the roar of the storm, never to be seen again.

The days, weeks, months and years went by. Every evening, Eveline, Jemima and Avery waited on the cliffs overlooking Gordon’s Bay, hoping to see the Red Bluster and their father sail in.

And they continued to wait, holding each other close, singing the words to Wellerman.

Red Bluster.

THURSDAY 25 APRIL

Coogee Dawn Service 5.30am Gates open 5am

Goldstein Reserve, Coogee

SUNDAY 21 APRIL

Kensington RSL sub-Branch

Commemorative service

Randwick Bowling Club

The Avenue, Randwick, 11am

Malabar RSL sub-Branch

Community march from The Juniors Malabar 10.30am

Ceremony at Bob Clarke Memorial Reserve, Anzac Parade, 11am

Maroubra RSL sub-Branch Community march from Mons Avenue to Cenotaph, Anzac Parade, 11am

Matraville RSL sub-Branch Community march from Daunt Avenue to the Cenotaph in Norfolk Parade 10am

Find

1300

THURSDAY 25 APRIL

Maroubra RSL sub-Branch Cenotaph opposite The Juniors Maroubra, Anzac Parade, 4.30am

Matraville RSL sub-Branch Cenotaph, 1 Norfolk Parade 5am

The Beast's Monthly Mailbag

Words The Busy People of the Eastern Beaches

Happy Snorkeller

Having snorkelled at Clovelly over the past two years, I am happy to see that people have finally learnt to not smash up marine invertebrates to feed the groper. For many years prior to that it was a common sight to see this behaviour. Advising those about the detriment to the ecosystem usually fell on deaf ears or received an aggressive, defensive response. Perhaps lately I have just not been there at the right time to see people doing this, but I hope that’s not the case. On the northern side there used to be a sign explaining the dos and don’ts in this Aquatic Reserve, but it was taken down though; why?

Denise Bronte

The Merge

I would like to respond to recent correspondence about the merge of Randwick Girls’ High School and Randwick Boys’ High School. I disagree with Joe (The True Motive for Opposing the Merger, The Beast, February 2024), who said that overwhelmingly the majority of parents and students of RGHS do not support the merger - I would argue that they were just the loudest voice. There has always been a number of RGHS students and parents who have always supported going co-ed but were too intimidated to speak up at first because most teachers were vocally supporting remaining single sex.

In the interest of brevity, the two schools are next to each

other, separated by a fence, and the merger will improve facilities, subject choices and social skills. The majority of parents in feeder primary schools in the area support co-ed. It just makes sense to me.

Kathi

Maroubra

Why Does This Happen?

The proposed Bronte SLSC clubhouse has no recreation area for members; it has a bar and function room that members can hire - for a fee. Otherwise, it is essentially a storage facility for rescue equipment and, predominantly, for members’ recreational surf craft such as boards and skis. There is no need for it to be perched virtually on the beach where it is vulnerable to wave action. It is not a lookout post for those on patrol.

Rather than set the proposed new structure back from the beach to a less vulnerable position, our Council proposes to erect large concrete wave barriers on the beach to protect it. We ratepayers are not told how extensive and intrusive these wave barriers will be nor what long-term effect they may have on sand and wave patterns. Probably no one knows.

It also seems that Council does not know how much this folly will cost ratepayers in protecting a private clubhouse which could be better located. But why would they care when it will be paid for by your rates and taxes?

Greg Maidment Bronte

Pay Their Way

With the proliferation of so many mammoth utes and SUVs on our streets (you know the ones), I propose that their owners be required to pay an insurance levy commensurate to the increased risk these vehicles pose to other road users, cyclists and pedestrians. The levy would apply to any vehicle with a bull bar, with a road clearance of greater than, say, 30cms or a bonnet height of more than, say, one metre.

In a collision, my partner was knocked off her bike by a car that failed to give way at a roundabout. She was thrown onto the bonnet, then onto the windscreen and then back onto the road. She suffered bruising. The car driver suffered the price of a new bicycle. Had she been hit by a ute or SUV instead of a normal sedan she would likely have been killed or seriously injured.

Make the owners of these dangerous vehicles pay for their choice instead of other members of the public.

Simon Bartlett Coogee

Splendid Star Signs

My friends and I disagree with the letter writer who thinks the star signs in The Beast are a bit ‘dismal’ (Bring More Positivity to the Horoscopes, Letters, The Beast, March 2024).

We love them, and at our monthly ‘Ladies Who Lunch’ meetings we eagerly anticipate the vocal reading of them, often sharing them with the restaurant staff. The more outrageous and hilarious the better, keep them coming.

Penny Randwick

Volunteering is Great

Marjorie O’Neill (Volunteering Makes us Rich, The Beast, March 2024) is right - social and individual wellbeing is about more than economic growth. She’s also right that volunteering is a great way to build community vibrancy.

Unfortunately she fails to mention the policy choices both Labor and Liberal have made since the early ‘80s that have pulled the rug out from community life. The deregulation of the labour market, the expansion of working hours, disinvestment in public housing and the rise of property speculation mean most of us have little time and energy to volunteer and build social capital. We’re too busy working to pay our rents, mortgages and grocery bills.

Two obvious starting points would give us back some of the leisure and community time that work has taken from us - shorter working weeks and a Universal Basic Income, both of which would free up time to give back to the community and pursue the things that really make us happy.

Everyone should enjoy the benefits of unemployment, not just the idle rich.

Johnny Kingsford

Sculpture on the Side of Coogee Commonwealth Bank

The imminent closure of the Coogee branch of the Commonwealth Bank raises the question of what will become of the iconic modernist-style building in which it is now housed at 199 Coogee Bay Road.

If you live in Coogee and have seen the building day after day, you may have become blasé about this edifice. However, stand back and take a good look, and it is really a beautiful and distinctive building. It was completed in 1957 and its strong geometric lines dominated by large swathes of glass windows, the pale sandstone, red-textured brickwork and stainless steel fittings epitomise mid-20th century architecture.

One remarkable feature of the building is the relief sculptures on the sandstone panels of the Coogee Bay Road side of the building. They depict dolphins, seashells, seagulls and footprints in the sand, and are motifs for

Coogee Beach. My belief is that the sculptures were designed and executed by the important Australian modernist artist Gerald Lewers.

Gerald and his wife Margo were very important figures in the art world of 20th century Sydney, and it is them we can thank for the creation of the Lewers’ Bequest and the Penrith Regional Gallery. Gerald Lewers was tasked with undertaking a number of Commonwealth Government sculpting features for various federal buildings, including Commonwealth Banks. I am still working through some research, but unfortunately have been unable to confirm this belief. It would also be nice to know who was the architect of the building itself.

The owner of the building since 2021, when the Commonwealth Bank sold it, has been a local Coogee business person, and there is no indication that they intend to do anything other than lease the building to new occupants. But it is important for those with an interest in the heritage and artistic life of the local area to be aware of this rare and important piece of public art.

Paul Convy Coogee

Closure of Commonwealth Bank in Coogee

Two banks - ANZ and Westpac - have closed in Coogee, and now the Commonwealth Bank is also to close on March 1st, 2024. There will be no banks left in Coogee. Where will the residents and businesses go to for advice or to access money? The nearest banks are at Randwick. What will happen to the employees of the bank? This a sad day for Coogee.

Margaret Randwick

Ebikes

Dear Beast - In what world does a corporation of unknown origin get to use our footpaths however they choose for profit. Could I, if I wished, set up a stall selling

something - anything - on a footpath, blocking and annoying pedestrians, pram pushers and wheelchairs? Could I set up stalls on footpaths all over a suburb? No! I certainly could not.

I am of course talking about the scourge of commercial ebikes, supposedly a benefit for the environment, but a great annoyance for walkers - whose benefit for the environment is greater than an ebike. Walkers are always disadvantaged. Imagine if all the crap that is on footpaths was instead placed on the road - power poles, parking meters, green boxes, ebikes... Imagine if ebikes were left plonked in the middle of the road? Drivers would not stand for it, not for a minute.

In some UK and European cities there are designated ebike spaces - on the road, where they should be parked. Whoever owns these bikes - this commercial activity - needs to rent designated spaces on our streets. It is time to clear our footpaths for walkers.

Ingrid Strewe Bronte

Swimming

Sad news for the self-appointed Pool Sheriff of the Ross Jones Swimming Pool, Coogee, who has told many of us we can’t swim laps; this swimming pool was established in 1947 - nearly 77 years ago!

Winter is approaching, and the Coogee Penguins Winter Swim Club, also established way back then, swims on Sunday mornings with rope lanes for races. And to all of the parents teaching their kids to swim, and anyone recovering post-operation or from a sports injury; please beware of this intruder.

She wants the swimming pool to be ‘standing room only’, just as our Celtic friends visiting from overseas have tried to impose the same, often drinking coffee standing in the Ross Jones Swimming Pool, doing anything but swimming.

Swimmer Coogee

Reply to Dale Jones, Bondi Junction

Dear Dale - Your second letter to The Beast has prompted me to reply as the constant negative publicity and bad-mouthing of cyclists, cycle lanes and ebikes by some of our more conservative elders needs to be addressed (Birrell Street Cycle Lanes, Letters, The Beast, March 2024).

In your previous letter you mentioned concerns about your daughter and grandchildren in relation to cycle lanes and the potential for accidents. I must point out that the greater danger to them is climate change, obesity and entitlement, and that unless we embrace and promote cycling and etransport, the future of your grandchildren and my children is in greater danger.

I must also highlight the health benefits of cycling and regular exercise as a cardiologist and promoter of healthy living. The oldest ever living person, Jeanne Louise Calment, rode her bike every day. Also, there has to be many options to traverse Sydney given worsening traffic, increasing population and limited public transport options in the East. Having elected to ride to work during COVID and also previously as a necessity it has given me a new love of our beautiful city and I have discovered many places of interest that I never would have if I had been in a car.

We can’t all protect our little patch forever, and we need to think bigger and make some small sacrifices if we are going to combat climate change. Have you ever tried cycling on one of them? Try it with an open mind, and I hope that it brings you the same joy, peace and sense of well-being that it has to me.

Dr James Roy Waverley

Response to ‘Birrell Street Cycle Lanes’

Dear Beast - It’s so disheartening to read of Dale Jones’ negativity towards the newly installed cycle lanes on Birrell Street. I regularly

use them and they provide much needed separation, and thus protection, from vehicles on a narrow road.

Dale suggests these lanes were not “money well spent” due to the small number of cyclists using them. Perhaps a fundamental change in attitudes towards cycling, and a significant upgrade in infrastructure, would lead to many more cyclists on our roads, thus making it a worthwhile investment. Take a stroll around Centennial Park on a Saturday morning if you want evidence of locals’ keenness for cycling.

I would suggest Dale spend a morning perusing the existing cycling infrastructure around the city, after which he might understand the importance of bike lanes.

Regards,

Diarmuid Bondi Junction

A Short Email in Praise of the Long

Dear James - I would like to add my appreciation to your willingness to allow your readers the opportunity to explore complex issues at the length that many of them deserve (the Charing Cross upgrade and Invasion Day matters, to take just two examples, and the sentiments of both writers about them beingincidentally - ones that I support 100 per cent), rather than having them dealt with in an unsatisfactorily perfunctory way.

And thank you, too, for giving a whole article to the impending loss of the Coogee branch of the CBA, which has left many of us feeling bereft, especially as it isapparently - unlikely that even an ATM will be left.

Yours sincerely,

Anne Ring Coogee

Congratulations, Now Move It!

Dear Margie from Coogee (Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Letters, The Beast, March 2024), congratulations that you are a “proud Australian”. You are allowed to be

proud of your colonial ancestors. In fact, I support that you should be allowed to celebrate them. And you’re right, it probably took great strength and bravery to leave their home country and start a new life in a foreign land.

And, woohoo, we can come to the agreement that the colonials didn’t treat the Aboriginal people with respect. They took their land, murdered them and kidnapped their children. The colonials - your ancestors, may I remind you - made the First Nations people feel unwelcome and unwanted in their own land. But then why are you still celebrating Australia Day on a day full of anguish and pain?

Move it to a different day. Crack open a beer later. Celebrate some other time. Because, if you have even a drop of sympathy for the Aboriginal people that are still harshly suffering in 2024, while you celebrate the people that murdered them less than 60 years ago, you will agree with me when I say Invasion Day, more commonly known as Australia Day, should be moved. Thank you for your time.

Lee Randwick

Clovelly Pocket Park

This is my second letter regarding the Clovelly Pocket Park and I will briefly reiterate after letters from Richard and Glenda from Maroubra (Farcical, Letters, The Beast, March 2024) and Steve from Coogee (Council Works, Letters, The Beast, February 2024), have been published condemning the park.

The pocket park is not for children. There will be no playground. The pocket park is not only providing a lovely green spot at a particularly unsightly intersection but also providing a safety net for pedestrians.

The slipway, which has now gone, thanks to the park, has always been absurdly dangerous for crossing pedestrians and motorists reverse parking, due to the speed of cars driving west on

Clovelly Road to turn south down Carrington Road. Couple that with the adverse camber on the south west side of the Carrington and Clovelly Roads intersection and the result has been many car accidents.

Lindy Morrison

Randwick

Randwick Council Matters

This letter is for the Manager of Randwick Council. In late October, myself and other residents of Clovelly met with a representative of Randwick Council to discuss a number of issues at Clovelly Beach. One of these issues has been resolved, and that is the 57 steps at Gordons Bay that Council has now decided to put a second handrail on to. I might add that we asked them to do this some years back as a safety measure and we were told there was not enough space.

There are also other safety issues we are still waiting to hear back from Council about. The precinct has sent a number of emails about the subject of Clovelly Beach, but we don’t seem to get many replies, if any. I don’t want this to sound like I’m putting Randwick Council down, because they do some very good work and have some very good staff, but they really do need to lift their game. Our Chairman, Bill, has got such patience dealing with Council.

Edwin

Clovelly

Dunningham Reserve, Coogee

Hello - I agree with Laurence Poulter’s letter (Look for the Golden Arches, Letters, The Beast, February 2024); the littering and general disregard and disrespect for our beautiful beaches, picnic areas and the alcohol free zoning, especially at Coogee, is beyond a joke.

Randwick Council workers are seen regularly cleaning up the picnic sheds behind the new toilets, which are constantly being graffitied and left in a state that leaves me gobsmacked and very sad.

The Council staff do a great job, but I imagine they just can’t keep up with the workload, especially after a busy weekend.

Broken glass is smashed, not just in the sheds but on the pathway. Bins are overflowing most days. It took Council two weeks to remove a mattress that was thrown on to the roof of one of the sheds last year after I reported it a number of times.

I have written to Randwick Council and asked for CCTV cameras to be installed in Dunningham Reserve - a no-brainer really, but more procrastinating and ignoring the pleas of locals and beach lovers, who are the ones volunteering to clean up without fanfare just because we love where we live.

Educating our newly arrived residents and visitors that littering is not acceptable and is an offence punishable by law should be a priority. This includes releasing helium balloons into the atmosphere after celebrations on the beach!

Randwick Council had COVID Safety Rangers in place during lockdown patrolling the beaches; surely we can do the same with an anti-littering squad?

TP Coogee

Little Bay Lifeguarding

Kudos to Randwick City Council for employing lifeguards to the hustle and bustle of the Little Bay swimming hole. Fortunately (and unfortunately) the only duties which I have observed the lifeguards undertaking is the deployment of band-aids for mainly young kids inevitably running flat stick along the golden sands of Little Bay beach and hitting themselves on the myriad of submerged and above ground rocks that pepper the shores of Little Bay inside and outside the water. Unless these rocks are environmentally protected, I am sure their many victims will not miss their presence and would urge Council to relocate them as soon as possible. If not, please

provide more signage warning of these potential hazards.

As well as this, I believe the lack of circulation within the swimming hole of Little Bay, and storm water run-off into the bay, makes it a potential hazard during certain tides and wet weather, which needs to be addressed and sufficient warnings put in place so that the users of Little Bay Beach are informed and therefore protected from any health issues associated with polluted waters.

Last but not least, the entry to the small beach of Little Bay (on the golf course side), on the opposite side of the Lifeguard infrastructure, is very unsafe, and I and many others have slipped on the unsafe entry rock route into the small beach from the golf course side. A set of steps could be easily organised for this application and the rock surface modified to better accommodate the many beachgoers who pass through this passage. If not, it should be blocked off and an alternate route could be made available.

These are the hazards that I have observed so far, and it is possible that there may be more. I urge Randwick City Council to reinspect and conduct further risk assessments .

Mr S Foot Malabar

How to Effectively Make Change

Dear James - I was glad to meet February’s edition of The Beast at Woollahra Council offices. It seems I was under a rock until now. It was a useful read in the 30-minute queue at Service NSW.

Several correspondents griped about not getting action on vexed matters. I have found an effective way to get speedy action from a business, service or supplier that otherwise does not listen or deliver. Firstly, go to the person at the top of the organisation, although finding the name and email can be challenging. The second in charge or secretary is sometimes the closest, but that will do.

Send a polite short post, not more than 250 words. State the

All 482 visas may now apply for PR, including cooks, café managers, hairdressers, marketing staff, etc.

The qualifying period has also been reduced to two years

Please call Brendan to discuss further

Brendan Muldoon

Reg. Migration Agent # 0742052

39 Gould Street, Bondi Beach

Phone: 0404 552 322

brendan@bondimigration.com.au

www.bondimigration.com.au

problem and your idea of the solution. Then check your mail for five days, including spam. If nothing happens, go to Trust Pilot, Trip Advisor or Google Reviews, or all three. Tell the full story, in measured words, but express your frustration.

You can also do it with municipal councils. Always ensure you write politely. You will be amazed how fast you are contacted by someone in authority.

Let the system we now live with work for you. There isn’t even a postage stamp to lose! It works for me every time.

G. R. Hammer Dover Heights

Bus or Them?

Dear James - Is it the bus or is it the driver? Are there any figures on the number of on-board passengers who have been injured since the buses were privatised?

With the stop/start, hard acceleration/hard braking that typifies our travel experience in recent times, particularly on the Metro buses, one might ask whether it is because the current crop of drivers are not properly trained to drive conservatively, whether it is the pressure of unrealistic time-tabling or whether it is the buses themselves that cause the rides to be so erratic.

Sometimes one is convinced that the bus is on a mission to scare the wits out of the passengers and is being driven by a mad person. We get there no sooner but less settled for the experience.

Lesley Spicer Coogee

Bob Carr Moves to Coogee. Ouch! “I wouldn’t live anywhere else,” said our ex-Premier in the real estate pages of a Sunday newspaper last weekend. “Bob Carr buys $8.8m penthouse at Coogee Beach” the headline explained.

Anywhere else? Isn’t this the man who 20 years ago told us, “Sydney is full”? Yet despite owning “an investment property near Queenstown,” (a delightfully

uncrowded part of the world), he’s declined to help that “fullup” crisis by leaving himself… And isn’t this the man who, as our local MP, railed against the ugly “overdevelopment” around Anzac Parade? Who then decided to live on the tenth floor of the highest and arguably ugliest building over here in Coogee? Who rewarded the developer of that “monstrosity” to the cool tune of nearly $9 million?

Locals who can sniff hypocrisy when they see it will be gratified by one sobering fact though; from his tenth floor balcony, Bob will have an excellent view of the nearby Coogee Bay Hotel development site, which - if its many critics are right (and who would doubt them?) - is about to turn Coogee into Dubai.

Russell Edwards Randwick

Australia Day 2024

James - Andrew Goldfinch has written a very good letter on Australia Day. Compared to the 1700s, we have a totally different life in Australia. People were dislocated from their families over minor offences or accusations and transported to Australia. Many Indigenous peoples were dislocated from their own lands and introduced to European diseases by an increasing number of settlers. They also suffered from violence in defence of their lands.

More than 200 years on of Australian history, everyone’s birth in this country is a result of historical events, whether pleasant, wanted or not. We have evolved into a country that is fair, that tries to fairly provide for its citizens and provides basic medical care and education to all citizens. I am not saying all is perfect. It engages cultural communities in safety and health or other important issues.

Because of Australia Day we have common law, we have a stable political system, no matter whether you like or dislike the government or the opposition. We have a head of state who is

technically apolitical. We have a reasonable level of law and order in our society. We have a reasonable standard of living. Our citizens have a reasonable length of life and literacy rate.

We are also part of global society. Like our Indigenous ancestors who have had to adapt to changes, so too do we have to adjust and cope with global events and pressures, whatever they may be.

George Stamell Bondi Junction

I'm a Bondi Girl

Yoga mat all rolled up tight, Am I Buddhist? That sounds right.

Spending all my time at the gym, Summer’s coming, must get slim. I’m a Bondi Girl.

Sitting in a cool café, Never more than five a day. I’m a vegan, (sneak me meat), Another diet, on repeat.

I’m a Bondi Girl.

Soft sand running, snap me Uge, Buy the portrait, make it huge. BO HO until 4am, Can’t wait to do it all again. I’m a Bondi Girl.

Pilates classes, pedicure, How much can a girl endure? Almond coffee, no wait, soy, I’m annoying, atta boy.

I’m a Bondi Girl.

Working, yes I’m done with that, 9 to 5 just made me fat. Now the work that I like best, Is for my lips and hips and breasts.

I’m a Bondi Girl.

Hair appointments, brand new nose, Gotta buy some nice new clothes. Cruising in my Lycra gear, Gee its great to live ‘round here.

I’m a Bondi Girl.

Peter Bondi ¢

Please send your feedback to letters@thebeast.com.au and include your name and suburb. We try and publish as many of them as possible, but nothing too crazy please.

Local Artist... Nick Hollo from Bronte

Interview James Hutton Photo Cora Bezemer

Bronte’s Nick Hollo is the local artist behind this edition’s cover painting of Coogee Beach. Nick is a prominent Sydney artist, renowned (and widely collected) for his masterful oil pastel works. He shares his local favourites with The Beast

How long have you lived here? I’ve been living in our place in Bronte for 34 years.

Why do you live here? I also grew up in the Eastern Suburbs. We moved back here from Potts Point when our first baby came along. And of course I love early morning swimming and the coast.

What's your favourite beach?

It’s hard to choose. It would be different beaches for different reasons; Bronte for the Bogey Hole, and Wylie’s for the audacious stilted structure on those fallen random rocks.

What's your favourite eatery?

Wa, the Japanese joint in Bondi Junction. I love Bronte Belo

as well, and Bonanza Thai in Charing Cross. And I have a soft spot for Twenty One in Double Bay too.

Where do you like to have a drink? I have a coffee every morning at Pure Bronte after a swim. I never acquired the taste for alcohol.

Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Among other things, it would be its relationship to the harbour and the coastline, and the broad social mix (which unfortunately is diminishing, I feel).

Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? It’s become too expensive and exclusive, and this threatens that social mix that brought us here in the first place.

How would you describe your art? I love working with oil pastels as they are immediate. I draw what I see, and I use my art practice to better understand the environment. I’m drawn to the ocean and the harbour, it becomes the major focus of my subject matter, and working there then gives me a sense of calm.

Where can people see your work? My next exhibition is at the Dickerson Gallery in Woollahra, opening in March. The show is titled Intertidal, as my subject matter is all intertidal zones - beaches, rock pools, rivers and mangroves, etc. These are environments that have long fascinated me. People can see these works at the Dickerson Gallery, 34 Queen Street, Woollahra, or view them online at the gallery’s website, dickersongallery.com.au.

What are you working on at the moment? I’m completing the final couple of works for Intertidal and working with the

curator and director at Dickerson Gallery, along with framing details, the layout of the show and all of those matters… much to do! The exhibition will also feature a poetry evening and a chat event with marine biologists on the intertidal environments depicted in my artworks.

Did you study art? I studied architecture and practised. Drawing in the Architecture Faculty was more about communicating our designs. Studying architecture turned me off studying art for quite a long time, but that drawing practice was crucial.

Any words of wisdom for young aspiring artists? Yes, “Look! Really, really look!” Follow your interests in as uninhibited and unfettered a way as you can, and always remember that you are communicating through your art to others.

What music are you into at the moment? Mainly contemporary classical, and I love African music. I lived and worked in Nigeria for a few years and the music of that culture stays with me.

What do you get up to on the weekends? A bit of drawing and time spent with family, particularly my grandson, who is four years old.

Do you have a favourite quote? “Carpe diem!”

Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Treasure this wonderful environment we live in, and make sure that you leave a small footprint. Think of, and work towards, ways we can regenerate the environment.

Intertidal will be showing at the Dickerson Gallery, 34 Queen Street, Woollahra from March 15 to April 7.

A grey-headed flying fox (Pteropus poliocephalus) in Centennial Park.

Flying Foxes Safe After Bat Poo Motion Rejected

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Bruce Wayne

A recent agenda item considered by Waverley Council seemed to give the impression that numerous residents are wallowing in bat guano.

A motion put forward by Liberal Councillors Sally Betts and Will Nemesh talked about Council staff now having to carry out daily clean-ups of streets suffering a nocturnal invasion of flying foxes with an appetite for Moreton Bay figs.

The pair called on Council to look at preventive measures, including drastic options like driving the bats away with ultrasonic devices and even removing fig trees reaching the end of their natural lives and replacing them with other species.

When the matter went before a Council meeting, Councillors Betts and Nemesh were backed by another Liberal, Tony Kay, who said some residents are having to navigate a five centimetre deep carpet of bat detritus.

The bat poo hot spots of Waverley LGA are said to be Murray Street, Bronte, and The Avenue, Rose Bay. At these locations, said the motion put to Council, the “mess creates a health and safety hazard to private property residents and their pets, to pedestrians who have

to walk on the road to avoid the slippery footpath, and to parked vehicles.” The bat poo could contain “deadly viruses including Hendra, Nipah and Lyssa.”

But other councillors disagreed. “Shame on you guys for putting this up,” Independent Councillor Elaine Keenan told her colleagues who’d placed the bat issue on the agenda. “It’s nothing more than a scare campaign.”

Labor Councillor Stephen Lewis said the motion would cause “damage to both our environment and the natural habitat of Australian Indigenous species.”

The motion to declare war on fruit bats was defeated, a decision applauded by ACF Community Eastern Sydney convener Dr Stephen Lightfoot, who told The Beast, “They are beautiful creatures that have managed to survive the urbanisation of their habitat and they’re an essential part of the local and wider ecosystem.”

As for the reference to deadly viruses, Dr Lightfoot - a medical practitioner - said, “This is just playing on people’s fear of viruses in this post-pandemic world. There is no evidence that contact with flying fox faeces or urine is a risk to human health.”

Riding a Wave For the Fight Against Dementia

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Grant Trouville

Anyone interested in helping to prevent more people suffering the ravages of dementia is invited to sponsor a surfer in Wipeout Dementia, which will take place at Bondi Beach on Friday, April 5.

Now in its tenth year, Wipeout Dementia is a surf competition that raises funds for research by the Centre for Healthy Brain Ageing (CHeBA) at the University of NSW.

Taking to the waves this year will be 56 surfers who have set up fundraising pages to channel donations to CHeBA. They’ll be competing in seven teams captained by property industry executives. Participants include professional surfing legends Wayne ‘Rabbit’ Bartholomew, Owen Wright and Mark ‘Occy’ Occhilupo.

“Nearly everyone involved has either a relative or a friend who has suffered from dementia,” Bronte surfer and Wipeout Dementia Team Captain Peter Clemesha told The Beast

“I lost an uncle from dementia, and Owen Wright is currently helping his father manage the condition.”

To sponsor a surfer and help with dementia research, go to wipeout-dementia-2024.raisely. com.

The Wipeout Dementia Team Captains at Bondi.

Precincts are meetings of residents who get together regularly

discuss local matters or issues of concern in their neighbourhood. Waverley is split into 13 Precincts and meetings are open to any person living within the Precinct boundaries.

This April, the following meetings are on:

Bondi Heights – Monday 8 April, 7 – 9pm

Charing Cross – Wednesday 10 April , 7 – 9pm

Bondi Beach – Monday 15 April , 7 – 9pm

Bondi – Wednesday 17 April , 7 – 9pm

Bronte Beach – Wednesday 17 April , 7.30 –9.30pm

Visit waverley.nsw.gov.au/precinct to find out location of the above meetings closer to the date.

Not sure which Precinct you belong to?

Visit waverley.nsw.gov.au/findyourprecinct

Waverley Council proudly supports resident run Precinct meetings.

Mixed Feelings Among Local Fishos Following Blue Groper Ban

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Dave Wrassetovich

There has been a mixed reaction from the local fishing community to the NSW Government’s recent decision to ban all forms of fishing for eastern blue groper.

Previously there was only a ban on spearing the iconic species, but that has now been extended to a 12-month trial including all forms of fishing.

The President of Coogee Diggers Fishing Club, Mike Sterling, is taking the attitude that there are plenty more fish in the sea, welcoming the ban.

“These beautiful creatures are an asset to our community,” he explained. “Extending the protection is a positive move.”

However, the President of Malabar Boat Owners & Sea Rescue Fishing Club, Peter Higgs, thought the ban had been “rushed through” without consultation with the fishing community.

“It’s a kneejerk reaction to the recent spearing of a groper near Cronulla,” he told The Beast. “Because of the irresponsible action of one spearo, the line fishing community is being penalised.”

Mr Higgs acknowledged that the blue groper is a “majestic

animal” that deserves protection from divers because it is easy to approach underwater. But he also explained that it is a difficult fish to catch with a line, and so the ban on spearing should have been adequate.

A special Groper Protection Zone, which prohibits taking the fish in any way, has already been in place at Clovelly and Gordons Bay for a number of years. Some say that rather than imposing a statewide ban, this zone could have been extended to include the entire Bronte-Coogee Aquatic Reserve, and then also implemented in Cronulla and neighbouring areas.

A petition headed ‘Challenge the Ban on Blue Groper Fishing’ has been started on Change. org and had gathered almost 700 signatures as The Beast was going to press.

“We fear that if we do not stand up against this unjustified restriction now, it will open doors for further arbitrary bans affecting our rights to fish responsibly and sustainably,” said petition organiser Matthew Dwyer, a self-described “semipro marine biologist.”

Sun Sets on Environmental Upgrade Agreements

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Sol Larium

An environmental upgrade scheme for commercial buildings trialled by Waverley Council has been scrapped after failing to attract any participants.

Waverley introduced its Environmental Upgrade Agreements in August 2021. They were promoted as a cost-efficient means for boosting energy efficiencies in older buildings. The program was based on a three-way agreement between building owners, Council and a lender called Better Building Finance. Funds borrowed to install solar panels and other improvements would be paid off alongside annual Council rates. Council targeted local businesses through emails, then Better Building Finance made follow-up calls.

However, a recent meeting of the Strategic Planning and Development Committee was told that not a single building owner had signed up to the scheme. A report suggested that one reason for the failure was the fact that Better Building Finance is based in Victoria.

“It is possible that a third party calling from interstate would have had less understanding or appeal to local businesses,” the report stated.

Councillors agreed to terminate the agreement with Better Building Finance and remove online information about the program.

Eastern blue groper are now totally protected in NSW.

The Environmental Upgrade Agreements scheme is over.

Veteran Coach Honoured with Coogee’s Own Davis Cup

Words and Photo Anthony Maguire

Ian Davis started coaching at Coogee Beach Tennis Club at the age of 14. Now 80 years old, he is still coaching the club’s young players and has no plans to put away his racquet any time soon.

On Saturday, February 17, Mr Davis was honoured at a ceremony where the club’s Court One was renamed the Ian Davis Court and a plaque commemorating his achievements was unveiled. Players also competed in the inaugural Ian Davis Cup, which will now become an annual event.

The ceremony at the club featured courtside speeches from local MPs Marjorie O’Neill and Matt Thistlethwaite. Dr O’Neill commended Mr Davis for encouraging countless young people to play sport, while Mr Thistlethwaite, who used to play at the club as a junior, said tennis coaches fulfilled crucial roles as mentors and role models for young players.

Despite his age, Mr Davis remains very active in the world of competitive tennis. In fact, just as this month’s edition of The Beast magazine was going to press, he was heading all the way to Turkey to compete as a senior player in the Australian team for the world championships, and he also plays team tennis for German team TV Buchshlag.

So, what set him on his lifelong love affair with tennis?

“I just happened to be good at hitting the ball,” Mr Davis told The Beast.

“As well as playing tennis from a very young age, I also played first grade cricket for Randwick - if it had a ball, I could hit it!”

Mr Davis credits wife Christine with helping him stay in the game.

“About every third week I think it’s time I gave up, but Christine says to me, ‘What else are you going to do?’”

Extended Trading Hours to Raise Bondi Junction Mall From the Dead

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Jerry Dammers

Waverley Council is trying to breathe new life into Bondi Junction Mall, with a plan to let businesses there trade until 3am all week.

The Mall, opened in 1979, transformed into a pedestrian thoroughfare when the section of Oxford Street between Bronte Road and Newland Street was closed to traffic. Despite early promise, it has never become a night-time mecca. These days, in the words of Waverley Mayor Paula Masselos, it is a “ghost town” at night. But the mayor and fellow councillors believe that extended trading hours could raise it from the dead.

“If trading hours end up being extended, we have the potential here to make Bondi Junction Mall a destination where people can enjoy a latenight meal with friends or listen to live music,” explained the mayor.

Councillors will now pave the way for the extended hours by preparing a draft amendment to the Waverley Development Control Plan.

Mr Davis with Kingsford Smith MP Matt Thistlethwaite and Coogee MP Dr Marjorie O’Neill.

This town... is coming like a ghost town.

A Beacon of Hope in the Heartland

Words and Photo Anthony Maguire

It’s midday Saturday in Lexington Place, South Maroubra, and a queue of over 100 people stands waiting to avail themselves of the offerings piled on trestle tables outside the small strip of shops. There’s fruit and vegetables, canned food, cereal, instant noodles and other useful items for keeping empty stomachs at bay. One bench is weighed down by 350 takeaway containers filled to the brim with freshly cooked meals. The air is filled with the aroma of sausages sizzling away on two barbeques.

Welcome to Diva Charity, which brings free food, toiletries and other essentials to the Housing Commission district of South Maroubra. Diva Charity founder Christina Iskandar and her team of volunteers appear with their goodies on the first Saturday of each month. The grocery items are donated by three local Woolworths stores and the sausages are from Lucas Meats in Bronte, who pretty much support every community group there is. Christina’s team members work late into Friday night cooking and boxing up the takeaway food.

But they don’t just feed you, they also clothe you - parked on

the kerb is an open-sided van operated by Thread Together, a Botany-based initiative that collects new, unused clothing from retailers and fashion brands.

Most of the people using the service are elderly, like 62-yearold disability pensioner Kay McKenna.

“My pension was paid on Thursday, but after paying my rent, electricity and chemist bill, there’s nothing left,” Ms McKenna told The Beast. “This service is a lifesaver - it provides hope for the community and Christina is a saint.”

Last year, Christina was a finalist for the Westfield Local Hero Awards, and the shopping centre giant gave Diva Charity a $5,000 grant which is going towards the purchase of a van.

“At the moment, we’re using my husband’s station wagon and other peoples’ private cars to transport goods,” says Christina. “A van will make life much easier.”

Christina has set up a GoFundMe page for purchase of the van at gofundme.com/f/help-diva-charity-drive-change, and you can follow Diva on Instagram (@divacharityinc) and Facebook.

No More Boozy Commercial Events on Bondi Beach

Words Anthony Maguire Photo Am Malfi

Sick and tired of repeated attempts by annoying hipster event organisers to get around the alcohol ban on Bondi Beach, Waverley Council has finally drawn a line in the sand.

Waverley Councillors have agreed to ban events featuring bar service at Bondi and other beaches in the Local Government Area pending a review of Council’s events policy.

The ban follows a series of unsuccessful applications over the past few years for events where alcohol would have flowed freely. There was even a proposal to fence off a section of Bondi to create a European-style beach club - arguably the least popular proposal in Bondi’s history.

Council has now declared that enough is enough, with councillors voting to reject any application for commercial high-impact beach events that include the service of alcohol while a review of Council’s events policy takes place.

Mayor Paula Masselos says the community has voiced “a strong distaste for private commercial events on Bondi Beach, especially those featuring the service of alcohol or operation of a bar.”

Bondi Beach is not for sale.

Diva Charity founder Christina Iskandar.

Leaving a legacy of empowerment.

Never Give Up the Fight

The fight for female empowerment is far from over. That’s the key message from Waverley Council’s International Women’s Day Award winner, Diana Olsberg.

Born in England, the UNSW Honorary Associate Professor of Sociology comes from a family of fighters with a passion for social justice. Her mother made a pilgrimage to Spain to fight against the fascist Franco regime and her father served in the British Air Force in World War 2, then headed a Jewish Relief Unit relocating Holocaust survivors from the death camps.

When she was six, the family migrated to Australia, settling in Coogee (she went on to find her spiritual home in Bondi, where she has lived for the past 50 years). Teachers at Sydney Girls High labelled her a rebel.

“Old friends still remind me how often I was thrown out of class for speaking up,” she said.

After completing her schooling, Ms Olsberg worked as a

journalist before carving out a distinguished career in public relations. Then, at the age of 48, she decided to take advantage of the Whitlam government’s subsidy of university fees, studying sociology. She wrote an honours thesis highlighting the inequities in Australia’s superannuation system, with women being particularly disadvantaged.

“My research revealed that only 11 per cent of women in the private workforce had any superannuation retirement savings at all.”

Her thesis was a stepping stone to top-tier positions in the superannuation industry and also provided the foundations for her first book, Ageing and Money, published in 1997 (she has written three books in total). Meanwhile, Ms Olsberg completed a PhD and worked with the Keating government on creating a universal superannuation system, while fighting for wage equities that would

underwrite fair distribution of retirement savings between the sexes.

“I wrote special reports for State and Federal Ministers for Women, helped start Women in Super, engaged in lots of agitation and appeared before Senate Select Committees. But women’s super accumulation remained tied to lifetime income in the paid workforce.”

And today that situation continues. She cites a report just released by the Workforce Gender Equality Agency showing that women’s wages overall remain substantially lower than those of male counterparts.

Change has got to come from the top, with more women on corporate boards and in positions of organisational leadership.

“Women are still missing out on senior positions and opportunities to map out policy direction,” she explained.

“Some people might say, ‘That’s women’s choice because they want to have children,’ but I don’t know of anyone who’s had a child and loses their ambition. We need more flexibility in the workforce so men can take on a greater share of family responsibilities.”

The good news is, there are very tangible signs of this starting to happen.

“I love seeing young men out in the street pushing strollers,” Ms Olsberg said, but added, “Women must continue to fight for empowerment both on the domestic and work fronts.”

As well as having her achievements recognised with the International Women’s Day Award, 82-year-old Ms Olsberg has been given a space in Bondi Pavilion’s Story Room.

Her tireless work has left a legacy that reverberates far beyond her local community and has transformed lives throughout the nation.

The one-armed bandit.

Crime News

Words Jimmy Felon Photos Margaret Snatcher

Headphone Snatcher

Do you know who this is? Police want to talk to him about an incident where a man approached a female uni student from behind, snatched a set of expensive headphones from her head, then ran off with them. It happened outside UNSW Kensington campus on Wednesday, February 7. Contact Maroubra Police station on 9349 9299 or Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.

Dozens of Local Motorists

Charged With Driving on Drugs

Police charged 69 people with driving under the influence of drugs during a two-day blitz in the Eastern Suburbs. In stark contrast, only four people were charged with drink driving.

Meanwhile, police say they nabbed a number of drug dealers during the weekend operation on February 11-12. One notable arrest was a 21-year-old man who was allegedly caught in Curlewis Street, Bondi with 11 bags of cocaine, 10 bags of MDMA and $2,050 cash.

Baby-Faced Car Thieves

A pair of 15-year-old youths have been charged with stealing a Porsche from outside a home in Allan Avenue, Clovelly.

Police say the theft was part of a crime spree carried out by

the two across multiple Police Area Commands. The luxury vehicle was later found damaged and abandoned in Turramurra. The teenagers will be facing Children’s Court charged with a total of 21 offences.

Easy Entry for Moradian Killers

The killers of gangster Alen Moradian had no problems driving their car into the underground carpark of his Bondi Junction apartment block. They simply followed closely behind another vehicle driving beneath the open boom gate.

That is one of the claims about the murder being made in the Daily Telegraph’s series The War: Kill or be Killed. After gaining entry to the carpark on the evening of June 25 last year, the gunman and his driver are said to have kept a 12 hour vigil, waiting in their car until their target appeared the next morning and got into his Audi. He then died in a hail of bullets, another victim in the underworld battle for control of Sydney’s cocaine trade.

Jilted Bondi Man

Grabbed Girl’s Neck

Bondi construction worker Petrus Johannes Van Rensburg did not take it well when his girlfriend told him she wanted to end their nine month relationship.

The 27-year-old grabbed the girl’s neck and shook her, a court was told. She went to the police, who took photos of bruising on her neck - and then the cops came knocking on Van Rensburg’s door.

Facing court, he pleaded guilty to domestic violence charges and was sentenced to a two-year community correction order plus a $3,000 fine.

Sex Cases Thrown Out

Defendants in two high-profile Eastern Suburbs sex cases have walked free.

After a two-week trial, rugby star Kurtley Beale was cleared of sexually assaulting a woman in the bathroom of a Bondi pub.

Meanwhile, former teacher Helga Lam won an appeal against an indictment for indecently assaulting four former male pupils at Maroubra Bay High School in the late 1970s. It turned out that Ms Lam, now 68, had been charged under a since-repealed section of the Crimes Act denoting only homosexual crimes.

Woman Badly Injured by Disqualified Driver -

Police Police say an out-of-control car mounted a footpath on Avoca Street, Randwick and hit a woman, sending her flying several metres through the air.

The 30-year-old woman sustained leg and pelvic fractures and was reported to be in a serious but stable condition after being rushed to hospital by ambulance.

A 44-year-old man has been charged with dangerous driving occasioning grievous bodily harm and driving while disqualified.

Captain Cook Attacked

Police are investigating a paint attack on a statue of British explorer Captain James Cook at Randwick Junction.

The 114-year-old monument was daubed with red paint plus a chunk of sandstone was hacked away - the second time the statue has been targeted by vandals in recent years. Randwick City Council has contracted stonemasons to repair the damage and the vandalism was condemned at a recent Council meeting.

Painting the town red.

It's Complicated

Words Jeremy Ireland Photo Tina Burner

A month or so ago, my brother Chris undertook an interesting experiment where he decided to pack away his ‘smart’ phone and use a ‘dumb’ phone instead. His purpose was not necessarily to see how long he could last, or even to prove that the world would still spin, but more to see if his mental well-being changed in any way without his iPhone grafted to his hand.

I should point out that my brother has always lived on the cusp of technology and is no technophobe. Indeed his job as a high profile photographer within the advertising world does require him to be tech savvy. He drives a highly spec’d electric car, which I call ‘The Enterprise’, and he’s gone completely solar at home. He also gives his adolescent sons a run for their money on the Xbox.

So, why did he do it? Well, in today’s world, where we have the ability to be connected to anyone and anything all the time, he was starting to feel more disconnected than ever. Initially it was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on - he just wasn’t feeling ‘present’, not only with his family and close friends, but also within himself. Anxiety started to cloud his thinking and a resentment was slowly build-

ing, pushing him almost into a state of constant high alertness with an inability to mentally switch off.

It’s easy to say, “Well, he could switch off his phone,” and indeed you might be right but, short of becoming a hermit and going completely off grid, it’s tougher than you think. The crux of the matter is that the more we use our phones, the harder it is to do without them. Smart phones and all they offer give us high levels of dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter that makes us feel good - the more of a hit we get, the more we do it. So, in effect, the more we use our smart phones, the more we want them, until we find ourselves drawn to them without even being consciously aware of it.

But back to the experiment... Having acquired his dumb phone and putting the oversized, expensive smart phone away, he commenced his journey. Almost immediately, he realised he couldn’t easily connect to any social media. Previously in his world the iPhone equated to Instagram, which in turn equated to comparison, which often leads to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. No longer was he bombarded with how good everyone else’s lives apparently were. He wasn’t

being flooded with notifications and news stories, which in reality are just a gateway for feeling bad. Taking photos on the dumb phone was a pleasure as well.

Slowly but surely his life started to simplify and become less complex. Emails were checked on his computer at a designated time, as was banking and other ‘life admin’. His texts were short yet precise, with no emojis. He also made more phone calls, meaning he actually spoke to people, allowing him to get to the point without any misunderstanding through intonation or simply because emails weren’t being read. Most importantly, he was becoming less distracted and more present, especially with his wife and family. His dog was loving it too!

Overall, the bigger question is whether tech - specifically smart phones - makes our lives easier and more simple? According to him, it was a resounding, “No, the sky won’t fall in if you don’t have an iPhone.”

It’s fair to say technology is here to stay, and we have to embrace it to some extent or we will get left behind. However, we should consider who the technology actually serves. If the tech serves you, then great, but if you are a slave to the tech, who is really getting the benefit? Despite being judged every time he pulled out his new dumb phone, my brother realised it was actually their problem rather than his. He had restored a balance in his life and more of a yin and yang approach to technology.

Has his well-being improved? Yes, most definitely. Did he discover the world still spins and life goes on? Yes, of course. Did I mention that his retro ‘burner’ dumb phone only cost $127 and has a battery life of three days?!

Jeremy Ireland is a local psychotherapist. Have you got a question? You can get in touch with Jeremy by calling 0400 420 042.

The snake pit.

The latest from Randwick City Council about living in this great city

Randwick News

Randwick City has been teeming with activity over the first few months of 2024! We have started implementing NSW government’s Greening Our City program. At least 2,000 trees will be planted across Malabar, Little Bay, Matraville, and Chifley to increase the low canopy cover in these areas. The trees will contribute to the wellbeing of our residents, providing more shade, cooler ambient temperatures, and fresher air over time, and add to the beauty and richness of Randwick City’s natural environment.

We have also begun construction of a new shade structure and tiered seating for the netball courts at Heffron Park. The new outdoor structure will provide an all-weather playing environment and has the potential to be used for other exciting community events.

Our biggest event this month is our ANZAC Day Dawn Service in Coogee on Thursday 25 April. This event, held in collaboration with the Coogee Randwick Clovelly RSL subbranch, is attended by thousands of people every year.

We have launched Saturday Circle, which includes handy workshops such as bike maintenance, gardening, textile mending, and nature photography. These activities are on at Randwick Sustainability Hub.

In addition, Randwick Council’s Women’s Art Prize exhibition, which is held every year in honour of International Women’s Day, is now on at Lionel Bowen Library until Sunday 21 April.

I hope you enjoy the wonderful events that Randwick City has on offer this month!

What’s On

TUE 12 MAR - SUN 21 APR

WOMEN’S ART PRIZE EXHIBITION Library opening hours

Lionel Bowen Library

FRI 29 MAR - MON 1 APR

EASTER EAT DRINK PLAY

12pm - 8pm Pioneers Park, Malabar

SECOND SATURDAY OF THE MONTH

SATURDAY CIRCLE

Randwick Sustainability Hub 27 Munda Street

THU 25 APR

ANZAC DAY COOGEE DAWN SERVICE

5.30am

Goldstein Reserve, Coogee

THU 25 APR

POP-UP COMMUNITY SUPPORT HUB

11am - 1pm

Councillor Philipa Veitch Mayor of Randwick

1300 722 542

randwick.nsw.gov.au

Eastern Beaches Salvos, 100 Boyce Road, Maroubra

Randwick Mayor Philipa Veitch

Tiny Triangle Is Our Newest Tourist Attraction

Words Kieran Blake - kieranblakewriter.org Photo Polly Gone

Tiny Triangle is an ingenious use of public space designed to lure thousands of visitors to Clovelly.

Located on the corner of Clovelly and Carrington Roads, the minute patch of land will be transformed into a social, educational, environmental and entertainment hub when it is completed in mid-2024.

“Clovelly will henceforth be home to the world’s most famous triangle,” boasted a spokesperson for Randwick City Council.

“Taking inspiration from Canberra’s Cockington Green Gardens and Disney’s ‘It’s a Small World’, it is guaranteed to add social and economic value to this desirable suburb and the city in which it lies.”

An aggressive marketing campaign will promote the green urban oasis throughout the world, including in San Marino, Vatican City and Monaco, and the Tiny Temptations slogan will persuade tourists to enjoy the following activities:

Cinema Under the Stars

An exclusive open-air cinematic experience for two among the bonsai trees. Snuggle up to someone special in front of a smartphone as the protagonists negotiate a steamy love triangle. Don’t forget the Tiny Teddys.

LittlePalooza

An eclectic arts festival headlined by UK rapper Tinie Tempah, which will also feature tributes to Little River Band,

Small Faces, Adam and the Ants, Lil Nas X and Little Patty. Electric Fields will perform their version of Paul Kelly’s timeless classic, From Little Things Big Things Grow, and don’t miss ‘Tiptoe Tween Two Tiny Tulips’ - a tribute to Tiny Tim.

Murdoch’s Meeting of the Minds

A monthly philosophy forum for people with small minds, proudly sponsored by the Southern Courier.

Community Garden

The miniscule community garden will occupy one corner of the triangle and allow local green thumbs to grow micro greens, finger limes and cherry tomatoes. Produce will be served on gigantic plates at hatted restaurants.

History Walk

Plaques will line the perimeter of the pocket park and pay tribute to the beauty and history of Little Bay, as well as our local sporting heroes, especially jockeys and nippers.

School Excursions

Kindergarten and pre-school kids can admire the miniature model of Clovelly, while senior secondary philosophy students can take turns to sit in the triangle and ask, “Why?” One module of the maths curriculum will require students to calculate the cost of the project per square inch.

Cynics within Randwick have questioned the wisdom of the project, and residents further down Clovelly Road fear the same ideation will be imposed upon the triangle at the intersection of Clovelly Road and Burnie Street. If so, they threaten to declare the land a sovereign state, because, “The only thing that will go missing in these triangles is our rates.”

An artist's impression of the Burnie Street Triangle.

conditions at Wylie's Baths, Coogee.

The Unreliable Guide to... Paradise

Words Nat Shepherd Photo Jen Mather @randwickmarinelife

If you’re a regular reader of The Unreliable Guide you’ll know that I had the misfortune of being born in Pommie land. Don’t get me wrong, the UK is very good at some things - pubs, music, chips and TV showsbut that’s because it’s normally horrible outside. When it is occasionally sunny, every inch of available park or beach space is heaving with pale bodies turning a violent shade of pink. Hence, when we Pommie backpackers arrive in Australia we lose our minds - “Bugger me,” we think, “this is paradise!”

And of course it is, but as first lady Eve will tell you, it’s easy to take paradise for granted. Even the Garden of Eden can seem like a drag after a while. So, in case you’ve forgotten just how bloody lovely it is here, The Unreliable Guide has some tips and tricks on how to find the paradise you’ve lost.

Pay Attention to the Little Things

A few days ago, The Unreliable Guide was chilling at Wylie’s Baths in Coogee. Next to me were two older women, who looked very much at home. They could’ve been sisters, but they laughed so much I decided they were friends. They didn’t talk about property prices, their children, work or medical issues - the typical topics of Sydney’s over forties - but rather they told each other jokes, mainly at their own expense, of human weaknesses and foibles.

They were full of joy. One of them disappeared for a few minutes and returned with a muffin and two cappuccinos. “Oh, Sheila!” shrieked her friend, waving a hand that included the coffee, the cake, the azure pool, sparkling ocean and cloudless sky, “This is just too gorgeous to be allowed, isn’t it?” I watched

Sheila sit down with a satisfied smirk and hand over a perfect cappuccino. “I know darl, we live in paradise - absolute paradise.” And she’s right, we do, so the next time you forget that you’re living the dream, take a moment and appreciate it.

Travel

If you travel the world, you’ll soon notice how gorgeous it is here. Our beaches are better than anything I’ve ever seen in Europe, even outshining those in Asia. Yes, some Italian cheeses may have more culture than our cities, but that’s not what Australia is for. You eat that apple of knowledge and you lose paradise. That’s always been the deal. And if our fair city starts to pall, get on the road! So many other parts of NSW, let alone the rest of this mind bogglingly gigantic continent, are too gorgeous to be allowed. Drive five or six hours south and you’ll find yourself in the unspoilt heaven of the far South Coast. Go outside of school holidays and you’ll have all the paradise you can handle - empty beaches, pristine water, stunning forests...

Finally, you don’t need to go far to find the fabulous in the Eastern Suburbs. Sure, we have our problems here, but try and step outside your routines once in a while. Get up at dawn, forget the bootcamp, sit with a friend and watch the sunrise over the ocean. Leave the running shoes at home and stroll through Centennial Park. Pack a sandwich, sit on a bench and watch the ducks. Take a nonrush hour ferry from Rose Bay and look at the blissed tourists’ faces as their eyes widen to try and encompass the beauty that is Sydney Harbour. They know what we sometimes forgetthis is paradise, darl, absolute paradise.

Mirror-like

Nature's Air Conditioning and Playground

Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill - Member for Coogee Photo Fern Gully

We need to get serious about trees. We need to plant and protect them with a focus and intent that we have never shown before. As an environmentally conscious community, we understand the importance of trees in the fight against climate change and yet our actions fall far short of what is needed to make a real difference.

It is estimated that we are losing over 15 billion trees globally to human activity each year but planting less than 2 billion. Australia ranks an embarrassing 46th in the world in terms of the number of trees planted in the last few years. We do care, and we are doing something, but we are not doing nearly enough. The NSW Labor Government is committed to planting five million trees across Greater Sydney by 2030, and we all have a role to play in making this happen. I am firmly and deeply committed to enhancing the tree canopy throughout the East.

In a densely populated area such as our Eastern Suburbs, it can sometimes be difficult to see how we can increase our tree density. While we may favour

more trees in principal, in practice we can be annoyed by the leaves they drop, the destruction of our footpaths, the sun and our views being obscured, the difficulty they can cause in opening our car doors, or even their threats to public safety. We need to face the fact that we have a love-hate relationship with trees and then work determinedly to find ways to plant more of them - lots and lots of them - suitable to our locality. This requires real commitment based on understanding of the importance of doing this, as well as resources that should and will be delivered by government - at least in part.

A genuine and deep commitment to promoting and protecting trees, and to placing this as a priority above other competing interests whenever possible, must be based on understanding their importance in our lives.

Trees are the unsung heroes of our environment, serving as nature’s filtration system of the air we breathe, providing a canopy of shade and coolness, food and refuge for other plants and animals, as well as being a source of beauty. Exposure to nature and

trees has mental health benefits including reduced stress and increased overall well-being. Trees are places of play and sources of imagination. Trees are nature’s playgrounds, offering a dynamic and ever-changing environment for children of all ages. The branches of sturdy trees become pathways to adventure, encouraging climbing, exploration and unstructured play so crucial to children’s development. Trees support life and add value to our lives. They are beautiful and enrich our suburbs, as well as our general well-being.

Fortunately, the NSW Government and local governments do not need convincing, and they have programs to increase tree planting in our streets and parks, as well as private properties. We need to get behind these campaigns, utilise the resources available, support initiatives to protect and promote more trees in our area and even get a tree from our local council and plant it if we can. Planting more trees is not merely an environmental initiative but a holistic investment in the well-being of our community, its animals and birds, and the future resilience of our children. Recognising and valuing the intricate web of benefits that trees provide underscores the urgency of conservation efforts and widespread tree planting initiatives.

I am very grateful that my office is so closely situated to Fred Hollows Reserve. Nothing resets a day like a quiet walk in that unique ecosystem surrounded by beautiful and unique flora and fauna. Many of my friends and family are in praise of how much greener our Eastern Suburbs have become in recent decades, but we have much more to do. Randwick and Waverley Councils can assist you with advice and resources (let me know if I can help too). We need a lot more trees, so let’s make this happen - the quality of our lives and the future of our environment depends upon it.

The lush oasis of Fred Hollows Reserve.

Blue gropers now protecte

The NSW Government is committed to protecting our iconic state fish, the blue groper.

Fishing for blue groper, whether it’s spearfishing, commercial fishing or line fishing, is now banned in NSW.

These beautiful creatures deserve to be protected, not targeted, and that’s what these changes aim to achieve.

Scan the QR code to find out more. Authorised

Scan

A beautiful little Murray cod.

Cracking the Cod Code

Words Lewis Kennedy-Hunt

It was 3am, and the last of my reception had just cut out as I embarked on a three-hour hike in the middle of the Aussie bush. All alone after an eight-hour drive from home, my head torch offered only a crude image of the dimly lit path ahead as I navigated down to the gorge. Sounds of animals startled me as they sensed my presence and darted off into the night. I checked to feel that the Personal Locator Beacon was still clipped to my pack, knowing this was my only lifeline should things head south. Feelings of fear and discomfort started to creep in - not just the feelings you get from the trivial stresses of daily life, but real, primal fear, for I was now in a genuine survival situation. I reminded myself of the freshwater fishing oasis that lay ahead and kept marching on to begin fishing at first light. If there was ever a fish that rewarded the hardiest and most committed anglers, it was the mighty Murray cod, and that’s precisely why I had willingly gotten myself into this predicament in the first place.

With a riverside camp set up, the first of the morning light filtered into the valley as I started pinging large lures into the river in the hope of enticing a cod. There was something undeniably primal about walking a river on the hunt for fish. I spent my day enjoying the serenity and beauty of the place with its towering mountains and giant

prehistoric boulders under the crisp blue sky. I crossed paths with wild goats, pigs and snakes as I traversed along the river, plucking countless ‘fun-sized’ cod from each pool. By the end of the day I had covered over 40 kilometres on foot and the legs were starting to hurt. A quick twilight session catching a few fish on surface lures left me satisfied with a good day’s fishing, which I rounded out sitting by the bush telly (the fire), gazing unimpeded at the stars before eventually hitting the hay.

The following morning I woke for another dawn session and proceeded to catch another handful of small fish before snagging my lure on the other side of the river. Instead of breaking it off I ditched the kit and freestyled ‘starkers’ to retrieve it, knowing there were no prying eyes except maybe a few onlooking kangaroos. After a brief break to cook up some riverside porridge and a coffee, I made the decision to hike back out to the Pajero that morning and relocate to a different system in search of a bigger fish.

Six hours later and I was flying down an old country road with arid farmland as far as the eye could see and not a drop of water in sight. I was heading to a spot I had scoped out on Google Maps that I suspected, after a bit of research, would hold good fish. After passing through a series of cattle grids and gates, I came across what I first thought was a complete show-stopper - a seemingly insurmountable cluster of boulders carved out from the track in the recent rains. After staring at it for a good 15 minutes I decided to bite the bullet, reasoning that I would probably be the only person to have fished the river for a decent while. Moving some rocks around and attaching my winch to a tree, I precariously crawled over the obstruction with surgical precision before continuing down towards the river. The light was fading and I wasted no time in

hiking the two kilometres down to the river to fish the afternoon surface bite. After pinging casts until there was no light left, it began pouring rain and I retreated to the car, hiking through the dark soaked and having caught nothing for my efforts.

The next morning I woke at 5am with my body in agony and looked outside the car to see it was still raining. I almost decided to have the morning off and go back to sleep, but in a split second I forced myself to get up and back out there. After a fishless morning, I stopped to make a coffee and refuel before crossing the river to continue hiking. As I stepped from stone to stone, a huge eruption emerged from the ankle deep water beneath, shocking me to the core. As I looked up, a murray cod of around 80cms darted through the water up the rapids and into the pool above. I couldn’t believe that I had very nearly stepped on the thing! Having seen this, I decided to restrategise and focus my casts on the oxygenated water around the rapids rather than the deeper pools.

The next set of rapids yielded a miniature waterfall and I set myself up within casting range. It was perhaps the most textbook fishing scenario I had encountered and I just knew there would be a fish right there. I pitched the perfect cast right at the base of the tiny waterfall. Two turns of the reel and my spinner bait was smashed by a decent cod. It played up in the rapids for a while before surrendering and arching back toward me where I clamped my lip grips onto its bucket mouth. The fish was broad in the shoulders and thick set, with a rich speckled green on its side, measuring in at 70cms - by no means a monster, but definitely a respectable river fish.

Finally I had caught the larger fish I was after and all of my hard work had paid off. I left cod country exhausted and undeniably elated. I’ll be back soon!

Subject Worth the Wait Location Bondi Photographer Kim McCarthy

Subject Goodness Gracious Location Coogee Photographer Alex Stocker

Subject Octopus's Garden Location Coogee Photographer Jen Mather @randwickmarinelife

Subject Doggy Superbowl Location Coogee Photographer Emma House

Subject Contemplation Location Bronte Photographer Lieke Scherbeijn

Subject Mathias Cormorant Location Randwick Photographer Juan A. Rojas

Subject You Shall Not Pass Location Coogee Photographer Kate Richman

Subject Fence Sitters Location Bronte Photographer Rob Thomas

Subject Seaside Silhouettes Location Maroubra Photographer Deborah Little @deborahlittle2320

Subject High Tide Location Coogee Photographer Claudia Lovett

Subject Man-made Location Bondi Photographer Michael Marren @phat_meek

Get the dog!

Fancy Flathead Sandwich

Words Dana Sims Instagram @stone_and_twine

A good fish burger is the ultimate comfort food, and this fancy flathead sandwich is super easy to create at home for a laidback yet impressive lunch.

Consisting of a light tempura battered fish, the freshest white bread, tangy tartare (with all the good bits) and a punchy fennel salad for some crunch, this summer treat wouldn’t be out of its depth on any decent café menu.

Getting creative with the ingredients gives you a tasty twist on a classic fish burger, and this is one delicious feed. This recipe makes three sandwiches, and you may wish to eat all of them at once!

Ingredients

6 thick slices of white bread

3 flathead fillets, boned and skin removed, halved lengthways

3 cups extra virgin olive oil for frying

Tempura batter

¾ cup plain flour

½ cup cornflour

1 egg

300ml chilled sparkling water

Fennel salad

¼ fennel bulb, outer layer, core and stem removed, finely shaved

3 tbs flat leaf parsley, chopped

Juice of ½ lemon

½ tsp chilli flakes

A pinch of sea salt

Tartare

100ml crème fraiche

Juice of ¼ lemon

Half a stick of celery, cut into a small dice

1 tbs flat leaf parsley, chopped 1 tbs baby capers, chopped ½ spring onion, finely chopped Sea salt and cracked black pepper to taste

Method

1. For the tartare sauce, combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Keep chilled in the fridge until serving.

2. For the fennel salad, combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Also keep chilled in the fridge until serving.

3. To make the batter, combine the flour and cornflour in a large bowl. In another bowl, add the egg and chilled sparkling water and whisk gently to combine (it’s okay to have a few lumps).

4. Immediately heat the olive oil in a large fry pan set to medium heat. When the oil is hot, dip each piece of flathead in the batter and then place in the fry pan. Cook each piece for 2 minutes on each side or until you have a golden, crisp batter. Remove from the pan and drain on paper towel. Season with sea salt.

5. To assemble the fish sandwiches, place a slice of bread on the serving plate, a generous amount of tartare, 2 pieces of flathead, the fennel salad on top, a squeeze of lemon, then the second slice of bread for the lid of the sandwich.

Dana Sims is a Sydneybased food and prop stylist who has grown up in the Eastern Suburbs and loves to create delicious food. She is inspired by the fresh produce we have access to in Sydney. For ideas, recipes and styling inspiration, check out her Instagram, @stone_and_twine.

Any person having any claim against the Owners Corporation of the above Strata Scheme or any estate or interest in or claim against any of the lots comprised in the Strata Scheme is required, on or before 16 April 2024, to send particulars of the estate, interest or claim to KP Lawyers & Barristers, PO Box 20133 World Square NSW 2002.

If this sounds like something you'd be interested in,

The Beast Supercross

ACROSS

1. Retired ABC chair (3,8)

7. Strong protective covering (6)

8. Fashionable (5)

9. School sport (1,1)

10. Informal private conversation (6)

11. Kingdom (5)

14. Largest manufacturer of stuffed plush toys (2)

15. Person evacuated from danger (7)

18. Type of person or thing like one already referred to (3)

20. Tommy Turbo’s surname (9)

22. Feel-good alien movie (1,1)

23. Skeleton Coast country (7)

25. Small, sharp broad-headed nail (4)

Trivial Trivia

Words Lisa Anderson Photo Alan Wang

DOWN

1. Formulated the laws of motion (5,6)

2. Yerevan is the capital of this country (7)

3. Famous Bukit Peninsula surf spot (7)

4. Wanderer (5)

5. 2-wheel motorised vehicle (6)

6. Border which conceals curtain fittings (6)

12. A set of moral principles (5)

13. Iron (2)

16. Polish composer and pianist (6)

17. Thin fold of skin that covers the eye (6)

19. Two-masted, fore-and-aft rigged sailing boat (5)

21. Way of giving a drug (1,1)

24. Aussie distinguished service medal (1,1)

25. Thankyou (2)

1. Where on the body would you wear winklepickers?

2. Riga is the capital city of which country?

3. What is Australia’s oldest chocolate bar?

4. Is a mandrake a type of plant, duck or instrument?

5. Dancing with Myself is the 2017 memoir of which British performer?

6. Which city’s former name was New Amsterdam?

7. Along with athletics, cycling, gymnastics and swimming, which sport has been competed at every modern Olympics?

8. The name of which oblong stone fruit comes from the Greek for ‘finger’?

9. Is a ghazal an antelope, love poem or a transparent fabric?

10. What 80-metre-high semicircular waterfall spans the border between Brazil and Argentina?

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person

Genre Comedy, Drama, Horror Reviewer Linda Heller-Salvador

Canadian director Ariane Louis-Seize’s (Comme une comète) feature directing debut, which she co-wrote with Christine Doyon, is a gothic in nature, morbidly funny and delightfully quirky coming-of-age film with a bitingly melancholy twist. It explores the parallels between two teenagers as they navigate their confusing and angsty adolescent years, searching for connections.

It is evident from the opening scene that the family dynamics for Sasha (Sara Montpetit) are somewhat strange. She has issues with her vampire heritage as well as ethical problems she must deal with. Much to the dismay of her parents, Sasha has empathy for humans and hence has an aversion to sucking them dry to survive. When Sasha meets Paul (Félix-Antoine Bénard), a lonely human teenager with suicidal thoughts, a connection is made, and together they explore an amicable solution for both. This sets the scene for nocturnal misadventures of a comically childish nature and a realisation that everyone has problems and a yearning to connect.

ROYEL OTIS

PRATTS & PAIN

Label OURNESS

Reviewer @aldothewriter

Rating 

There is something about these lads that seeps into your subconscious and yearns for attention. I got lost in ‘Heading for the Door’ recently and looped it five times on repeat. Sure, I’d had a skinful of clearance sale IPAs beforehand, but that’s no mean feat. I don’t think I’ve put any song on repeat since I was seventeen (whatever happened to Nelly Furtado?). Normally I enjoy this type of indie-pop purely as pleasant, early party, background music, but PRATTS & PAIN is worth sitting alone with the headphones on for. No need to soak yourself in deliciously priced, overly spiced ales; it holds up sober.

CONCRETE SEA

Australian Dream

Label Stranded Recording Studios

Reviewer @aldothewriter

Rating 

Fanfare around this sort of Australiana folk music comes and goes with the tides, but I feel there’s more of a place for it, and I don’t think it’s fair that Paul Kelly has a mortgage on the airtime - if you know how to make Paul Kelly’s gravy, you’ve been listening to too much Paul Kelly. Concrete Sea are expert specimens. While the lyrical focus is on Sydney and the ocean, I can’t help but sense red dirt all over it, creeping into the wrinkles of you neck and toes. Wet a finger, stick it in your ear, and you’ll have a red pinkie with a sprinkle of Annandale dust.

THE TERRYS

Skate Pop

Label Impressed Recordings

Reviewer @aldothewriter

Rating 

My two young children, aged three and five respectively, are obsessed with this band. I am not entirely sure how or why, but it sure beats the hell out of ‘Baby Shark’. Perhaps because they are scruffy little ratbags and The Terrys exude exactly that quality. In fact, I cannot think of a more aptly named album than Skate Pop - unless Kanye calls his next album Narcissistic Anti-Semitic Dickhead I have no doubt that every single member of this band, and the vast majority of their fans, have taken the scissors to a neighbour’s garden hose at some point. I’ll be watching my boys closely.

Star Signs

Visions Beardy from Hell

Gemini May 22-Jun 21

Someone in your household has a chronic farting problem that is not normal and requires some sort of medical assistance.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22

Squeeze in a big barbie with all your mates before everyone goes into hibernation - they’re a good opportunity for a partner swap.

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22

Make the most of living here while you still can, because it’s not going to get any cheaper, and you’re not getting any richer.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 23

You may have a bit of an annoying personality, but at least you’ve always chosen your friends fairly well.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23

You’ll develop a new anxious twitch to replace some other weird obsessive compulsive thing you used to do.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22

Be sure to let the people you care about know that you love them (at least a week or two prior to asking them for a favour).

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21

When your partner brings their work issues home, just bite your tongue and thank the Lord you don’t work in such a toxic dump.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20

Try to avoid humour that could be perceived as hurtful or offensive. Everyone seems to be a bit precious at the moment.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19

Your strong work ethic doesn’t mean a thing when the whole system is designed to screw you. You won’t get rich by working hard.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20

If you no longer feel like you fit in around here, it’s probably because you don’t work for a top-tier law firm or a bank.

Trivial Trivia Solutions

DID YOU KNOW?

ONLY TAKE AWAY COFFEE CUP LIDS CAN GO IN THE YELLOW BIN?

Although they’re often made from cardboard, take away coffee cups have a wax lining which means they can’t be recycled. Consider using a reusable cup instead!

SCAN THE QR CODE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHAT CAN BE RECYCLED IN THE YELLOW BIN