Vol 39 • No. 2
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A short story: Being vertically challenged
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By Elvira Crocker I grew up vertically challenged. I’m 5 feet tall, but have always claimed another 1¾ inches. Why? God knows. You’d think I’d go taller. But I thought people would notice. I came by it rightfully. My mother was just under 5 feet; my maternal grandmother was…let’s just say shorter. My father never challenged the sixfoot mark. My paternal grandmother was a tall, beautiful woman. Clearly, I did not take after her. My siblings were generally of average height. Since I came towards the end of my parents’ procreation run, I was, naturally, referred to as “the runt of the litter.” Being from a large family, I’ve experienced every put-down or nickname about people of a smaller stature. In retrospect, that prepared
me for the greater world. I didn’t mind being short which is a good thing, because the taller human species never seemed to get over it. “Shorty, peewee, stubby, shrimp”…. taller people can be so unimaginative! It was all motivation to me. I just knew there was one way to beat them — by being smarter. It wasn’t all bad being short. In grade school, that meant being first in line. And if I had to go first in the cafeteria line, I could live with that. In pictures, I was always in the front row. Still am. I may have been small, but I always thought big. My two best friends in high school were the tallest girls in the building. That was very useful, particularly if I had to reach for something, or needed to intimidate a Photo by Rob Howes bully. They also had cars and could drive…easier for them The tall and the short of it: Kevin Stamper and Linda Barrow. to reach the pedals. In my softball years, I Otherwise, why is the item I want althink I was a good pitcher because I ways on the highest shelf of any store. was more closely aligned to the batI have met many friendly people of ter’s swing range. Think about it. the taller species at grocery stores by But never try to run a 50- or 100asking for their help. I think it makes yard dash with a woman whose legs their day, because they always walk are longer than you are tall. She will away smiling…or was that a smirk? win, every time, as she did in the fifth Over time, I realized that clothing and sixth grades. stores mess with small people all the I hated second place but I knew time. Go into any petite department. that if God wanted me to win he The item I want is always on the “upwould have tripped her. It was a great per” rack. What’s up with that? Why visual that made me smile at her each “upper racks” in petite departments? time she beat me by a length. The world was built for tall people. See Short, page 7
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January 2018
Old organ bench gets new life By Tom Schaefer For his 84th birthday, John Buckner, a wood turner from North Newton, was given an organ bench from the largest cathedral in Scandinavia. Although the bench was in pieces, it was just what he wanted: a unique wood with which to make his works of art. “Everywhere I go I look for wood that I can turn,” said Buckner, whose twinkling eyes and ruddy cheeks welcome friend and stranger alike. “I have a real passion of using woods with history.” The craft of woodturning involves a wood lathe with hand-held tools to cut and shape woods around the axis of the lathe’s rotation. Buckner, a former music professor at Washburn University and a church organist, has been turning wood since he was 7 and playing music at church since he was 8. In retirement, he makes objects large and small that are aesthetically pleasing and whimsically enchanting. His one-car garage is filled with saws, shaping tools and plenty of wood. While a professor at Washburn, Buckner made a clock for band members who got married. “I did four of these, three of them grandmother clocks and the other a large shelf clock.” He also made several commemorative clocks for those obtaining doctoral degrees or who retired from the university. He recently finished turning the last cherry wood he has from Thomas Jefferson’s orchard in Monticello. “I used it to make conducting batons See Wood, page 10
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