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September 1, 2011 | Issue #241


y o u r. i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m editor-in-chief: Ri l ey Ken ny s mith layout editor: To m D au er writers: A l ex a Dillen b eck M atth ew J. Sek ellic k M a da me Q u er y Ró i sí n McCarty print manager: To ny Pon tiu s cover photo by: Ri l ey Ken ny s mith artwork by: Ri l ey Ken ny s mith web design by: D a n i el l e Lemp p

The Purchase Independent is a nonprofit news magazine, paid for by the Mandatory Student Activity fee. We welcome and encourage submissions from readers. The Indy is a forum for campus issues and events, to give students the voice they deserve. Letters, articles, comics, ads, event photography and event listings are welcomed. The deadline for submissions is every Friday before midnight, and accepted pieces will be published the following Thursday. Publication of submissions is not guaranteed, but subject to the discretion of the editors. No anonymous submissions will be considered, but we will accept use of pseudonyms on a caseby-case basis. Send all submissions and inquiries to Send questions to Madame Query at formspring. me/madamequery. Back page quotes can be submitted to indybackpage or put in the Back Page Box that hangs on the office door. Our office is located on the first floor of Campus Center North, room 1011. Staff meetings are held in the office every Monday night at 9:30; anyone is welcome to join.


LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Back to school once again. But a bit different this time. This time, it’s the last “first day” of my undergraduate career. And this time, the semester started off with a hurricane. While we received so many update emails from John Delate that it felt like he was a creepily over-concerned ex-boyfriend, I was impressed and very appreciative of how the school handled the situation, hourly emails and all. My parents wanted me to evacuate when the storm was upgraded at 5am, but calmed down when they saw that Purchase already had generators and tree-trimming services waiting to rescue us. A further tip of the hat to the maintenance men, who were quick to respond to any hurricane-related issues, including replacing my windowsill with a new watertight one before the rains started. And, of course, the reslife staff did a great job checking on everyone before and after the storm. I wish the school could have found a way to feed those of us not living in the dorms, and I wish that campus hadn’t suffered so much water damage, but in the end, Purchase did a great job handling Hurricane Irene. Now that we’ve survived, it’s time to get started. It’s time to have a great fall semester, whatever that may mean for each of us individually.




As you may have heard through the acidwashed grapevine, the 90s are cool again. Break out your floral overalls and folded-down socks, because Nickelodeon has brought back some of its hits for its The 90s Are All That programming and MTV will be airing new episodes of Beavis and Butt-Head this year. To me this is a curse and a blessing, and I’m sure you agree. I bet this also makes you think, “wait... why does this seem familiar to me? Maybe because I’ve been a 90s show enthusiast since the 90s? I’m not really sure!” Well, it’s because Purchase’s own PTV did it first! PTV AM airs old 90s gems like Hey Arnold, Rugrats and Daria. The station will be holding a vote for students to pick their favorite shows to relive for this coming year, so make sure you keep yourself updated by checking out their website ( to have your voice heard. This includes, but is not limited to, having your own show on the channel, picking what you want to see, and/or checking out the selected lineup. Now onto the bone I have to pick with people bringing back my favorite decade of my own life. These shows are available to anyone. Including the new tween generation. Not only am I selfish, but I was taught by the 90s to be basically realistic, which means miserable. I don’t want to share the Snick shows with kids who grew up on Dora the Explorer telling them to find a map en español! I want these shows to live forever for those who are 18+! Don’t get me wrong, I want these shows to air forever. I want to own the box sets in case Nickelodeon decides to nix the idea once the 2000s become retro. These shows are what made me the jerk I am today. I just want to keep them all for myself. As for Beavis and Butt-Head coming back, I have more specific qualms. First of all, it’s just

unnatural to even think of those two characters even mention Bieber or Jersey Shore. Second, I hear Daria will be making an appearance in a new episode and there has been a plethora of rumors surrounding bringing her back as well. If Daria gets new episodes, I’m moving to New Zealand. Think of how many stupid blogger girls think they’re ~alt~ already. This number will double or triple if Daria is revived, and I just can’t live in a world like that. Finally, when Ren & Stimpy was brought back on Spike TV for a more adult audience in 2003, it got horrible reviews. Why don’t we learn from the past? Remakes almost always suck. We can keep these shows alive by just setting them on a high pedestal and deeming them classics. Clearly, I should be running Hollywood. If you’re mainstream enough for national television, Beavis and Butt-Head’s new episodes will air on MTV starting October 27th and The 90s Are All That airs on Teen Nick from 12–4am on weeknights and 4–6pm on weekends. If you’re way too hip, watch PTV AM starting at 1am each night!


Heliotrope andBY MATTHEW Puce? J. SEKELLICK In the early days of Purchase College, before there were art students, heliotrope and puce were adopted by the students as our school colors. They thought they were just voting for their graduation colors, but they were adopted for the school as a whole. Yet today, these colors are nowhere to be seen. While they have become the stuff of legend, this summer new road signs have appeared that bear a more familiar combination: blue and orange. If the story of heliotrope and puce is one of a post-psychedelic era accident, blue and orange seem to have been adopted by default. The gym once served as a training facility for the New York Knicks, and it is that team’s blue and orange which has since spread amongst our teams, heliotrope and puce being ill suited for jerseys. The spread of blue and orange to parking signs and decals represents a shift in the face that Purchase College presents to the world— heliotrope and puce have been benched. Are blue and orange really superior? Purchase is an incredibly unique college, yet blue and orange are taken straight from another team, they are the colors of SUNY and of New York State—in short, they are anything but unique. Compare that to a combination of two purplish pinks, which, if nothing else, is unique. But that’s not all: heliotrope and puce were chosen democratically by our very first graduating class, and later adopted by the PSGA in 2007. Why should this tradition of unusual colors and of student input be abandoned now? Many students here today perceive an ongoing cultural shift, and see the spread of the athletics colors around campus as part of that bigger story.


To them, the spread of the blue and orange says that athletics are given a privileged position on our campus. As we approach the 30th anniversary of the introduction of letter grades to our school, it’s clear that things continue to change. But there is no need for division or loss of identity. Should we give up heliotrope and puce in the name of practicality? I say no. But I do say we should give them up, and we should give up blue and orange as well. We could adopt a single set of new colors: ones that are neither psychedelic nor generic, impractical nor routine. We could choose them by democracy and not by default. Let us leave the blue and orange parking signs as a tribute to the Knicks, let us enshrine heliotrope and puce in tradition, and let us come together once again as students to unite around new school colors. Let them be both unique and practical, exceptional rather than ordinary, and representative of everything Purchase has been and will be. Why should we settle for competing colors that divide us, when we can have colors that bring us together as scholars, athletes, and artists alike? The only problem will be picking them, but unlike our predecessors in 1973, we now have the help of art students on campus.

your.indy@g mail .c o m

HURRICANE IRENE BY RÓISÍN MCCARTY It was a dark and stormy night.

I looked down at my glass, swirling its contents until a tunnel formed straight through to the bottom. A hurricane in my Hurricane. I averted my eyes to the window, to the real hurricane outside, beating against the door trying to get in. Or maybe it was just the neighbors, angry because of the storm brewing between the two dames seated to my right. They were arguing about who had the best natural disaster playlist. They were trying to impress me, and it was working. The next morning, I woke up, my arm lazily thrown around the blonde’s shoulders. I wasn’t sure where the redhead had disappeared to, but I was more concerned with how the apartment had fared in the storm. I carefully got out of bed, pulling pants on as I ambled over to the window. The grass outside was flooded, although most of the yard was covered by a fallen tree. It was quiet, and I could tell the Hurricane we’d had to drink had done a number on my skull as well. There was a slam from the other room, and I snapped to look for the source of the noise. I turned around the corner and the redheaded broad was standing in front of me, hair and clothes dripping wet, her dress clinging to her legs. “How’s it look out there?” I asked. She shook her head. “It’s not so good, Charles. There are trees down and people are being evacuated. It’s not looking good at all.” I grimaced, and she continued. “I hear it’s even worse elsewhere. Upstate is half underwater, and here people are scoffing and saying it was barely even a hurricane.”

“Those bastards.” I vowed to find the person responsible for this apathy. Michele Bachmann called it a sign from God, but that didn’t seem quite right. I reached in my pocket for my cigarettes and found that they, at least, had come through the storm unharmed. This past weekend, Hurricane Irene knocked down trees, caved in ceilings, and flooded rooms and buildings on our own campus, and devastated entire towns on the east coast. Upstate New York and Vermont were met with heavy flooding. As of Tuesday evening, the death toll has grown to forty three across twelve states, and 2.85 million people are still without power. Donations of clothes, blood, and money can be given through the American Red Cross, Ten Doves Charity at, and through the MARK project at




Who is Madame Query? The question that had been blowing minds across the Purchase campus as she was delivering advice on blowing various things. With a responsibility to her fellow students came controversy and applause. This fall, Madame Query strikes the Indy again! She’s ready for whatever, whoemver, whenever. Like a brilliant but embarrassing Shakira song. Well, who is Madame Query? A woman who isn’t finished fighting for lost freshmen, horny co-eds, future burn-outs and the hopelessly in love. Yes, Madame Query is a masked superhero ready to save the day! Madame Query is not a trained professional, just a student willing to share past experience and advice for those in need. She uses humor to lighten up your problems. Ha! You got your warning, haters! Madame Query is willing and ready to fire back the answers to the questions you’re dying to ask. She knows you have questions. (You go to Purchase, there has to be something on your mind.) There is nothing to be afraid of, as questions are asked anonymously through a formspring. (Remember those? Still very useful!) And since your identity, like mine, is kept secret, there should be no holding back. Ask about your wildest confusions, mistakes and morning after upsets. Madame has been around this campus long enough to have seen it all. Remember whatever is sickening you, Madame Query has your remedy!

Over the summer I had a few people write in for advice. Let’s use their questions as an example of how this question and answer system goes down. How many children has Madam Query had? Well, hello there, first question of the semester! Madame actually has never given birth. If you knew the true Madame you would be quite thankful for that fact, seeing as children are not her expertise. Although Madame does not have children of her own, she would like to point out that her advice can seem quite motherly in a way. Like when your mom yells at you for hanging out with the wrong kind of crowd. Or maybe when your mother yells at you for not saving her any Manischevitz at Passover. Essay on Madam Query. Are you looking for “The Life and Times of Madame Query,” “Power and Influence: Madame, the Hero” or “Period Sex: Madame Query’s Experimental Findings” perhaps? You’re going to have to be much more specific about what you’re looking for, my friend. Who was Madam Query? Who is to say Madame Query is a person? Also, was? Madame Query still is. She’s back again and ready to attack students’ pesky problems.




A DV I C E Madame Query, I am a returning student at Purchase. I am entering my sophomore year and I am afraid that it will not live up to last year. How do I stop living in the past and enjoy the semesters that I have to come? Finally! A real question that doesn’t demand the identity of Madame. You are young. There will be several parties, star gazing opportunities, pow-wows, boys, girls and quesadillas that will trick you into thinking that there is nothing better than what you just had. Let me tell you the great experiences of the past only open up for greater journeys that lye ahead. You had a great year this should only make you excited for being a sophomore. So don’t be a whiney baby. If you had a bad year then yeah, you should be coming me asking how to make it better. I think you were doing something right if you had a great time. Yeah, things are going to be tougher and a bit different, but I can assure you that by your senior year, you’ll realize that those dorm suite parties and shared floor bathrooms were not the best part of college. In my final words for this week, be happy that you’re getting old because it gets you further away from paint chipped buildings with questionable mold. Be happy that you don’t have to go to D-Hall anymore and pick up friends with the question that starts it all, “What’s your major?” because now you have friends! No starting from scratch! For Madame’s sake, for your own sake, dive into the semester and enjoy!

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*some quotes have been rewritten for legibility or to preserve the anonymity of the submitter

The Purchase Independent - 09/01/2011  
The Purchase Independent - 09/01/2011  

The Purchase Independent - 09/01/2011