The Purchase Independent - 11/29/12 by The Purchase Independent

thePurchase

INDEPENDENT

277

NOVEMBER

29th 2012

CABARET

by rachel weiss What good is sitting alone in your room? Especially when you could be spending the night seeing an astounding production of “Cabaret” right here at Purchase! That’s right- “Cabaret” has officially arrived! This student-run production will making its grand debut on Nov. 29 and will be running until Dec. 2. Everyone has FIVE chances to see this incredible musical, and ordering tickets has never been easier. Just go to: www.cabaretatpurchasecollege .brownpapertickets.com and you can place your order with ease. There is even an option to purchase tickets for special seating on the stage, ensuring that you won’t miss a single swing or step by those Kit Kat Klub dancers. Your “Cabaret” experience will be enhanced with intimacy and lots of laughs, along with a “mocktail service.” So what exactly is “Cabaret” about? Meet Jesse Penber, a Junior Theatre and Performance major and the director of “Cabaret.” He called the show “the story of the Kit Kat Klub, a deliciously seedy nightclub in the heart of Berlin.” “The story of ‘Cabaret’ alternates between Cliff Bradshaw, who comes to Germany in search of something to write about,” Penber said. “He goes there to get some new experiences, and he does in the form of Sally Bowles, who is a nineteenyear old English singer performing at the Kit Kat Klub. Then there’s Fraulein Schneider and Herr Schultz, who are in love, and it does not protect them.” He went on to explain, “It’s a very dark storyline, and between that there is commentary from the Kit Kat Klub, and the dancers have their own stories.” As this musical’s storyline treks through the history of Germany, there is so much to be said for the quality of the cast and crew of students who have put this piece together and managed to keep the historical accuracy and believability in tact. “Cabaret” stars Gina Amico, Billy Manton, Miiko Valkonen, Tony Mita, and Laura Meltzer, who play Sally, the Emcee, Cliff, Herr Schultz, and Fraulein Schneider respectively. The production team includes the assistant directing of James Mcdermott,

music by Juno Arreglado with piano by Rebecca Chin, choreography by Cyndi Harder, costumes by Jessica Dimartino, lighting design by Jane Dibartalo, and stage management by Helena Hadden. “Quoting the musical ‘Urinetown,’ this is not a happy musical,” Penber said. “No one has a happy ending. The best they can hope for is to escape the misery that is 1938, and not all of them do.” Along with a dark storyline, this musical is also considered pretty raunchy to say the least. Penber expressed the sexuality of “Cabaret” to be a prominent aspect, as some of the characters are actually sex addicts, and the number “Two Ladies” is a humorous ode to having two partners in

bed. However, Penber was never concerned with crossing the line while directing. “There’s no such thing as too far in ‘Cabaret,’” he said. “If humans do it, it’s not too extreme. Humans betray each other, have sex with each other for reasons other than love, humans have obsessions, and humans die.” Summing up this production in three words, Penber used, “Desire, regret, and double-edged.” Want to find out the true definitions of those words? Buy your ticket today and get ready for a thrilling performance!

y o u r. i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m

LET TER FROM THE EDITOR editor-in-chief:

Róisín McCarty

After an afternoon of cold f ingers, frustration over where to park, and trying to f igure out why the fuck Campus Center North layout editor: is so poorly designed (sorry CCN, I still love ya!), our back room Melissa Foster is now housing a beautiful new printer. It’s cool, too. It prints way senior staff writer: faster than the other one, way higher quality, and you can even Alyce Pellegrino get apps for this shit. Technology. I’d like to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who writers: stuck with us while we were stuck publishing on line. To my Dylan Green staff for constantly exceeding my expectations. To the people Essence McClanahan who walk by the off ice every day and smile at the Neil Patrick Jake Murphy Harris cut out. (That’s right. I see all of you. How embarrassMike Reluzco ing is that?) To the people who say, “Where’s the Indy been?” Tommy Roach To the people who answer, “Dude, it’s been online all semesStephanie Spencer ter.” I wish I could rush out of the off ice and answer each Rachel Weiss of you when I hear you postulating about us, but that’d be print manager: kind of awkward, and I don’t want to get up in your grill Tommy Roach when you’re just innocently trying to Hub it up. So, in all it’s former glory, (I’m also realcopy editor: ly modest if you couldn’t tell), The Indy can now once Stephanie Spencer again be found conveniently scattered around campus. artwork by: Hope you all enjoy! Mark Zubrovich Stay Golden, The Purchase Independent is a non-profit news magazine, paid for by the Mandatory Student Activity fee. We welcome and encourage submissions from readers. The Independent is a forum for campus issues and events, to give students the voice they deserve. Any opinions expressed are those of the writers, not those of The Independent, its editors, or the PSGA. The deadline for submissions is every Friday before midnight, and accepted pieces will be published the following Thursday. Publication of submissions is not guaranteed, but subject to the discretion of the editors. No anonymous submissions will be considered, but we will accept use of pseudonyms on a case-by-case basis. Send all submissions and inquiries to your. indy@gmail.com. Back page quotes can be submitted to formspring.me/indybackpage or put in the Back Page Box that hangs on the office door. Our office is located on the first floor of Campus Center North, room 1011. Staff meetings are held in the office every Monday night at 9:30; anyone is welcome.

cover photo by:

Jake Murphy web design by:

Tommy Roach Cindy Mack

P.S. As we close out this semester, we’re starting to look for new interns. If you’re interested, email us a resume at your.indy@gmail.com, or stop by the off ice at any time!

thePurchase

INDEPENDENT

277

NOVEMBER

29th 2012

CABARET

rachel weiss InbyThis issue:

What good is sitting alone in your room? Especially when you could be spending the night seeing an astounding production of “Cabaret” right here at Purchase! That’s right- “Cabaret” has “Skyfall” officially arrived! This student-run production will making its grand on Nov. 29 written by Dylandebut Green and will be running until Dec. 2. Everyone page 6 has FIVE chances to see this incredible musical, and ordering tickets has never been easier. Just go to: www.cabaretatpurchasecollege .brownpapertickets.com Mistake Sex and you Makeup can place Sex your vs order with ease. There is even anby option to purchase tickets written Essence McClanahan for special seating on the stage, ensuring that you won’t miss a single swing or step by page 15 those Kit Kat Klub dancers. Your “Cabaret” experience will be enhanced with intimacy and lots of laughs, along with a “mocktail service.” Thewhat Cages So exactly is “Cabaret” about? Meet Jesse Penber, Junior Theatre written by Tommya Roach and Performance major and the director of “Cabaret.” He called the show “the story of page 13 the Kit Kat Klub, a deliciously seedy nightclub in the heart of Berlin.” “The story of ‘Cabaret’ alternates between Cliff Bradshaw, who comes to Germany in search of something to write about,” Penber said. “He goes there to get some new experiences, and he does in the form of Sally Bowles, is a nineteenCome to awho meeting: Mondays, 9:30, CCN1011 year old English singer performing at the Apply for an internship: your.indy@gmail.com Kit Kat Klub. Then there’s Fraulein us onSchultz, Facebook: Schneider Like and Herr who arefacebook.com/purchaseindy in love, and itSubmit does not protect them.” music by Juno Arreglado with piano by Backpage quotes: formspring.me/indybackpage He went on to explain, “It’s a very Rebecca Chin, choreography by Cyndi Follow on Twitter: twitter.com/purchaseindy dark storyline, and us between that there is Harder, costumes by Jessica Dimartino, commentary from the Kit Kat Klub, and lighting design by Jane Dibartalo, and stage the dancers have their own stories.” management by Helena Hadden. As this musical’s storyline treks “Quoting the musical ‘Urinethrough the history of Germany, there is so town,’ this is not a happy musical,” Penber much to be said for the quality of the cast said. “No one has a happy ending. The best and crew of students who have put this they can hope for is to escape the misery piece together and managed to keep the that is 1938, and not all of them do.” historical accuracy and believability in tact. Along with a dark storyline, this

Cinemasai:

The Essence of Purchase

Know Your Home

THE LOOP by rachel weiss

On the cold evening of Nov. 7, a crowded bus full of Purchase students was making its way into White Plains. It was a night just like any other. Hurricane Sandy had come and gone, however our school and the towns surrounding us were still being affected by the damage it caused. It is entirely possible that Sandy caused the following situation for the Purchase Loop. One of the passengers on this bus was Courtney Brown, a graphic design major, who had intended to make this trip into town short and sweet. Instead, she and her boyfriend, Dennis Moore, were stuck on this bus for hours. “We left around 6:30, and it took us two hours to get to White Plains,” Brown said. “The bus driver kept moving and stopping, and I’m pretty sure he pulled over and sat there at one point.” Apparently this bus driver failed to mention exactly what Moore had to find out for himself. “Dennis asked when the next bus would be coming, and the driver said, ‘This is it.’” Brown and Moore were going to get off at one of the last stops, which meant that some students had gotten off the bus earlier than them. The bus driver hadn’t said anything about his bus being the last one to come for the evening, so what happened to the students who got off without knowing that? Student Ian Byrne unfolded his frustrating tale light-heartedly, sug-

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gesting that perhaps the Loop should have a “text message service that would update students on Loop delays and cancellations.” This young man and his girlfriend trudged around in the bitter cold and slushy streets for hours trying to find a way back to campus. The only reason they knew the Loop would not pick them up is because Moore had called Byrne to tell him they would be making their last stop within the hour. “We joked about sleeping in Target,” Byrne said. “But we pressed onward.” Eventually Byrne realized he could most likely find a cab near

“We joked about sleeping in Target.” the White Plains train station, only to have a driver, among with several other cab companies he previously called refuse to go to Purchase. “I mean, I really appreciate having this free bus service in the first place,” Byrne admitted. “I mean, sure, it would have been great if we

hadn’t gotten stuck in a blizzard for five hours, but hey! Good memories were made that day.” Although Byrne was seemingly optimistic about this situation, others may not have felt that way. Thankfully, the Loop has only been running an average of twenty minutes behind schedule as of late, and there have been two “Campus Update” emails a day sent to every student. In a way, this gigantic Sandy-caused issue is slowly being resolved.

DELIVERY WOES by alyce pellegrino We’ve all been there. When you’re in the dorms, ordering food is usually because it’s 4 a.m., or you’ve gotten tired of campus food. If you’re in the apartments, you’re probably too tired, or too lazy to cook. And let’s be real, it’s usually the second one. But it’s past 8 p.m. You’ve ordered food. The food is late. You’re getting antsy and cranky and, godammit, you just want your dumplings and lo mein. You will find that your mood may go from bad to worse when you hear a knock at the door. Instead of the delivery man waiting outside for you and your five friends to gather your money together, like delivery people usually do and, you know, is common courtesy, he walks right on in. But not into the apartment where he waits patiently in that awkward area of Alumni that seems kind of like a small hallway. Nope. This delivery guy walks right into your apartment, puts your food on the table, and stands impatiently waiting to be paid. Now, as annoying as this is, you could have maybe overlooked it had the fire alarm not gone off as you hand him the money. He will completely ignore the fact that the loud noise and flashing light means that you should probably evacuate the apartment, and with an irritated tone, says, “Two dollar tip?”

“Yes, Mr. Delivery Man,” you think. “You get a two dollar tip.” You would like to say that the first reason he gets this two dollar tip is because he is late. Really late. The second reason he gets this two dollar tip is because he presumed he could just walk in and continue to hold you while the fire alarm is going off. You will later find that the third reason he gets this two dollar tip is because he got your order wrong. But in actuality you and your friends are short on cash. You are college students, he needs to get over it and not be a dick. Just because he is older than you does not mean that the authority thing stands here. However, you are too flustered by the fire alarm that is still going off to fight with him about it. Another dollar or two is scrambled together and he goes on his way. You will bitch about him outside in the chilled weather as UPD and two fire trucks show up. You will

bitch about him all through dinner when you realize that the restaurant messed up your order. You will bitch about him every time you bring up ordering Chinese food on Monday and Tuesday nights when the day has been hectic and you just really don’t want to cook. But worst of all, you will bitch about him the next time you actually order Chinese food. He will be the same delivery guy who will walk into your apartment. He will be offended by the size of his, this time very generous, tip. And the order will be wrong once again. You will then resign yourself to ordering better Chinese food from Port Chester. True, you must drive to pick it up. But they don’t mess up your order. And when you call to ask when they close, the lady on the other end will excited tell you, “Never!”

29 November 2012

SKYFALL by dylan green

Growth can not occur without change, especially in the film industry. Creative risks and new ideas from established intellectual properties show the willingness to mature and maintain relevance, but every once and a while, an IP needs to go back to its roots to avoid abandoning commercial and critical ship. “Skyfall,” the twenty third James Bond over the course of the last five decades, is a reminder that no matter the change, the roots are what define the overall work, and may even be what save it. An entry film that remembers its sense of spy-hunting fun while still retaining a modern feel, “Skyfall” not only works as a thrilling addition to the cinematic legacy of Bond, but also as an involving character study that provides more insight into the mystique of 007. After a near-fatal injury suffered while on assignment with new recruit, Eve (Naoime Harris), James Bond, Agent 007 (Daniel Craig) returns to active duty to protect MI6 head, M ( Judi Dench), from an attack by ex-agent Raoul Silva ( Javier Bardem), a flamboyant computer hacker who has a personal score to settle with M. The initial Craig films cast their predecessor’s stylized spy world of crazy gadgets and over-the-top villains aside for gritty realism, as was customary in filmmaking during the

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2000s (and still is). While “Royale” still retained much of the flair that fueled Bond’s best efforts, Solace’s particular heaping of spoonfuls of grit and incomprehensible flash cut editing burdened the series with a lack of levity and clarity that tarnished its image. Bond has certainly gotten his groove back with “Skyfall,” seeing a return to form that includes the return of Bond’s beloved gadgets and Q, MI6’s resident quarter-master, brought to acerbic life by Ben Winshaw and a genuine sense of excitement that “Solace” sorely lacked. The sense of grit is certainly still present, but it isn’t as enveloping as it was last time around, instead being nearly perfectly balanced with the regained sense of fun that the series is known for. Daniel Craig’s Bond has shown an interesting amount of growth throughout this rebooted origin trilogy (“Royale,” “Solace,” and “Skyfall” being the first three Bond stories ever published). His Bond is at once capable and vulnerable, his tarnished heart thrusted forward by a sharp sense of duty. Director Sam Mendes, famous for dramatic character studies such as “American Beauty” and “Revolutionary Road,” brought on just the right talent in screenwriters Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, and John Logan to get at the man behind the code name, showing us how he matured from fresh-faced saboteur to the cool and collected 007 that we know and love.

Craig’s Bond is an interesting figure, much more open and fragile than audiences may be used to seeing, but the rest of the cast helps him keep his cool. Dench’s M, a mainstay in modern day Bond for the last 6 films, is even more bossy and ambiguous than ever, while newcomer Naomie Harris’ Eve adds a nice dash of color to the proceedings, almost outdoing Craig in slick, cool, and sexy. Then there’s Javier Bardem’s Silva. Bardem takes the golden age Bond villain to the next level, fusing Silva with a collected lunacy that’s almost as inviting as it is menacing, even if it makes him little more than a “Dark Knight” Joker pastiche at best. As great as “Skyfall” is overall, there’s the lingering question that everyone seem too polite to ask: where exactly is Craig’s Bond going to go from here? There are almost cartoonish-ly high stakes at play here, which I won’t spoil, but Mendes and company pulled out all the stops to save Bond from gritty obscurity only to give the franchise the lofty task of topping themselves for next time. Regardless of which direction he chooses, just know that “Skyfall” has returned the Bond that we know in love having finally found a way to blend modern day grit with golden age sensibilities. Stirred, not shaken seems to be the preference.

(M)OVEMBER by tommy roach Ahhh, November. The smell of cold air. The joys of Thanksgiving and all it’s glorious food. The tense drama from the finale of another season of “Elections,” that hit television drama that seems like it’s pretty important or whatever. November, for what it’s worth, is a pretty great month, albeit a relatively predictable one. Sometimes having a month full of definite events is a nice change of pace. There is, however, one thing in November that has grown tiresome. And I think it’s time someone spoke up. What I’m talking about is “NoShave November,” that thing that men do every year for the entire month of November for some reason. I have to admit, I was once a participant in this ludicrous holiday. If you asked me why then, I would come up with a very stupid reason, usually ending in “because I can.” If you asked me why now, I’d tell you it was due to me thinking I was cool. Spoiler alert: I wasn’t. No-Shave November (and all the dumb iterations like “Movember”) I realized, is not funny. It says nothing. It’s not cool. You know what it does do? Make every asinine adult male who participates look like a mess. Also, unkempt facial hair gets really itchy. I don’t know where this holiday came from. Apparently, neither does the internet, so I can literally find no proof that this is a thing worth celebrating year after year. Come on guys,

we’re college students. Do you really think any self respecting employer is going to hire an unshaven mess of a college aged male? Not a chance. You look like crap when you don’t shave.

SWEET SEMESTERS by alyce pellegrino “I’m so done with this semester!” You usually start seeing this status and those like it around Thanksgiving break, and they only multiply as winter breaks draws near. Really, no one can blame you for being over worked, over tired, and just over it. However, I had a not so shocking but rather disheartening realization in the library before break. In between writing a paper and checking my Facebook every ten seconds I realized just how great we students have it. Yeah, it sucks that after we get back from break we know we only have three weeks of hell awaiting us; but after that we get a month off, the semester ends, we get to rejuvenate and start afresh. Enjoy that kids, because life doesn’t work like that in the real world. We don’t get four months of classes and then a huge block of time off before starting all over again with a different schedule. We will have jobs. Jobs that we hopefully will not need to switch out of every four months, because that may just mean you’re not too good at them. We hopefully won’t have a month to fourth months off in between these jobs because that will mean no money, which means no food. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to get preachy. The end of

the semesters suck, there’s no denying this. You begin to realize you haven’t done any of the readings for at least two of your classes, you have the misfortune of needing to stay until the end of finals week to hand in that last paper, and more than once, sleeping in the library has seemed like a good (great) idea. However, soon we won’t have semesters to complain about. We will have jobs that will probably offer us very little vacation time. Really, what I’m trying to say is that we tend to take semesters for granted. Setting up classes so you don’t have to be up before noon, making sure you have a long weekend, and doing it all over again when the next one rolls around. Enjoy them while you can, because they won’t last forever. 7

29 November 2012

PUERTO RICO by stephanie spencer

In a third effort to achieve statehood within 45 years, Puerto Ricans took to the polls last week in droves, surprising officials with the slim majority of it’s voters casting a ballot in favor of the changing status. Infamously unsuccessful at persuading American officials of the island’s desire to become the country’s 51st state, Puerto Rico’s election showed that a majority of its citizens wanted to merge with the United States. Conflicts have continued to arise, however, being that only a slim margin of voters actually opted for the status change. According to the Huffington Post, ballots may provide evidence that the island is at odds with itself, with only 54 percent of voters reportedly wanting to gain American status in the first part of the ballot. These numbers rose slightly during the second phase of the voting process, with 61 percent of Puerto Ricans asking for the mergence. Those desiring sovereign free association continued to pose influence at 33 percent. In light of earlier conditions given by President Obama and Congress, however, it was made clear that in order for Puerto Rico to be seriously considered for status change, there would have be a clear consensuses on what the people of Puerto Rico would

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want, putting Puerto Rico in a sort of bind with the ballots. Additional concerns have also been brought up by Puerto Rican officials, who suggested that not enough Puerto Rican’s voted while the election took place. “The one’s who remained silent on the status question spoke volumes,” said a Puerto Rican insider to the Huffington Post. Puerto Rico still has a difficult road ahead in their search for statehood, even with its slight advantage in the polls. Luis Fortuno, a pro-statehood governor who lost the Puerto Rican election earlier this month to Alejandro Garcia. Garcia, who represents the Popular Democratic Party, seeks to maintain the islands commonwealth with the United States. There are still many media outlets in Puerto Rico, however, that do not believe Puerto Rico will succeed in becoming a state. According to El Nuevo Dia, a popular newspaper in Puerto Rico, it is not believed that Puerto Rico will be given substantial consideration in Congress for several reasons, one being that it may tip the balance in Congress. “I think that there is plenty of understanding in the Republican leadership that it is unlikely that Puerto Rico is likely to be all Republican or democrat,” said GOP consultant Javier Ortiz said according to ABC News.

Comments such as these from Puerto Rico officials unmistakably prove the delicacy of Puerto Rico status change, one that may not occur any time soon.

ELMO’S FUTURE by mike reluzco Kevin Clash, the voice of Elmo on Sesame Street, was forced to resign last week in light of allegations of statutory rape. Clash has worked as Elmo for the past 21 years. The charges are for having a relationship with a 16-year-old boy in 2003. The man is now 24. Clash does not deny having a relationship with him, however he does state that there was no sexual nature to the relationship until far later. News of the trial led to a large controversy, and Clash was under so much scrutiny that he resigned because the allegations would bring too much poor attention to “Sesame Street.” In turn, Sesame Workshop is sad to see Clash go, but respect his integrity and decision. While Elmo will return with a new puppeteer, he may not be the same Elmo he used to be. After such a large controversy over Clash, the image of Elmo seems to have darkened. The 2006 documentary Being Elmo linked Clash to his Puppet in the minds of many. In a way, as Clash leaves, so does Elmo.

Athena & Advising by alyce pellegrino With the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy right at everyone’s doorstep, the last thing people needed to hear was that another storm was on its way. A new type of danger hit the upper East Coast. From Northern Delaware to the tip of Maine, snow storm Athena was to bring as much as 9.5 inches of snow to Westchester County, according to weather.com. With temperatures reaching a low of 30 degrees, it was no surprise that snow began to fall instead of rain. After days of academic postponement due to Hurricane Sandy, how did this storm affect our campus during a time as important as advising week? Students who hadn’t had advising appointments yet, or wished to sign up for them the week before had issues communication with advisors. Both Sandy and Athena were to blame for this, virtually and in person; Athena only continued to worsen problems. “My advisor went on a plane to go out of state for a few days, and then the hurricane happened while she was gone, and she couldn’t get a plane back until right before advising week happened,” said Cassidy Barr, a Cinema Studies major. “It wasn’t her fault at all but none of us knew what to do, and we were emailing her and she

wasn’t answering because she didn’t have power.” The frustration was far from one sided. Students and advisors alike were facing the same difficulties. “I’ve had to cancel certain of our advising sessions due to both storms,” said Professor Monica Ferrell, a member of the Creative Writing Department. “I was on campus Wednesday till after 4 p.m., strictly for advising. Once the Provost called off the rest of the school day, I called off the rest of advising and drove four hours through terrible conditions in order to get home.” Ethan Roberts, a Creative Writing and Philosophy double major, missed a session because of cancelations. He took it in stride, however, and was even able to use the storm to his advantage. “The storm affected my advising both negatively and positively, ‘cause I was going to go into a [Creative Writing] joint advising session and that got canceled,” said Roberts. “But then my other advisor, for Philosophy, was stuck in his office for the storm, so I popped in and had my meeting.” “We really tried to stick it out in order to advise our students,” said Ferrell of her and her colleagues. “A lot of confusion, frustration, and emails are a result.”

TURKEY PARDON by tommy roach Thanksgiving is a holiday of completely ludicrous traditions that don’t make sense in the context of what the holiday is actually about. Between the Macy’s parade, the anticipation of Black Friday, and all the football, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that this is a holiday about giving thanks (gee, it’d help if that were in the name of the holiday or something). Thankfully (puns, man) there is one tradition that has been around for a while that can serve as a reminder. Started in 1989 by President George H.W. Bush and continued today, the President of the United States is presented with their Thanksgiving turkey each year at a ceremony known as the National Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation (what a mouthful). At the time of the presentation, the President then pardons the bird, who is then sent off to a farm to live out the rest of their natural life. So, every year since ‘89, the person in charge of our country pardons a bird that would have been dinner otherwise. It’s a pretty cute ordeal. This year, President Obama pardoned not one, but two turkeys once again (just in case one died). The lucky birds prefer to go by the names Cobbler and Gobbler, and are set to live out the rest of their lives at George Washington’s Mount Vernon Estate. Isn’t that just adorable?

29 November 2012

YOU WANT $50? SHIT YEA YOU DO. SO ENTER THE LATE NIGHT NETWORK’S CONTEST.

HOW? STEP 1- FIND THIS LOGO ON CAMPUS:

STEP 2-TAKE A PICTURE OF IT AND TWEET IT @L8NiteNetwork WITH #LNN There. That’s all it takes. You’re entered. Every time you tweet us a picture of one of the logo posters, your name will be put into the prize bowl. You can only take one picture at each location, but you can enter as many times as you want. The competition ends Dec. 11, and the winner will be drawn and announced on Purchase Late Night Dec. 12 at 11:30PM For more information go to thelatenightnetwork.com the purchase independent

word search dedicated to Claire from the Hub

cabaret elmo

jakemurphy jamesbond

essence

library

delivery

movember

dumplings

puertorico

finals fairies

skyfall

gerald

wizard

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29 November 2012

KE$HA’S “WARRIOR” by tommy roach

When you hear the name “Ke$ha,” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Is it glitter? Is it Jack Daniels? Is it beards? Don’t feel bad if it is. Ke$ha exploded onto the scene, much like her condom cannons at live shows, in 2010 with her debut album “Animal.” The album had an overall feel of what Ke$ha herself described as, “non-pretentious irreverence and fuck-off good fun,” which I personally thinks sums it up perfectly. With songs about partying, not caring, and living in the moment, Ke$ha burst to the top of the charts extremely quickly, with each single off of the album making it, at the very least, to the top 10. For a debut album, that’s insanity. It’s two years later, and Ke$ha has made a name for herself with her over-the-top, glitter plastered live performances, and her music has become somewhat of a staple at most parties. To say that a new Ke$ha album is going to be popular regardless of how good it actually is is an understatement. The world loves Ke$ha, and they never want the party to stop. But Ke$ha is still a musician, and musicians have obligations to fulfill with their sophomore album. The question that needs to be asked, then,

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is “will ‘Warrior’ live up to the expectations Ke$ha’s fans have for her?” In short, no. But that’s not a bad thing. “Warrior” has everything that fans were hoping for, just not in an abundance. What it replaces classic Ke$ha with is so much more than anything we could have expected from the pop sensation. The album’s opening is one of the songs that you could call “classic Ke$ha” if you wanted to. Being the title track, “Warrior” has a lot of weight on its shoulders. In terms of setting the tone for the entire album, Ke$ha could not have picked a better choice. Ke$ha bursts out with a brilliantly dance-inducing song that’s absolutely going to be heard at parties. The second track and first single off of the album, “Die Young,” is probably one of Ke$ha’s better hits. It has a pop-rock feel that Ke$ha pulls off astonishingly well, and presents the listener with the first of many tracks on the album that have that same sense of musicality. Fast forward a few tracks, and we hit one of two songs on this album that I will be listening to for months to come. “Dirty Love” features Iggy Pop (you read that right), and is reminiscent of classic 70’s hard rock, while still staying true to Ke$ha’s main themes. This is a song that will blow your mind when you realize it’s Ke$ha, because of how much of a departure from her

comfort zone it is. Let’s get one thing straight: this is a welcome departure and this song is fantastic. My personal favorite track on the album, “Gold Trans Am,” is something almost no one could have seen coming. Starting off as a standard Ke$ha song with a good drum beat and some heavy guitar, if you don’t fall in love with this song by the first chorus, you’re insane. To explain it bluntly, this song is absolutely about America using sex in a car as a metaphor. The chorus has a slightly country vibe to it that is straight out of left field for the young singer, and again, this is a good thing. In all honesty, I’d like to rant and rave about this album for pages and pages, dissecting each song for exactly what it’s worth. But that’s not really conducive to readability, so you’ll have to listen to the album yourself. I can say, though, that this is not the Ke$ha you were expecting, but it is the Ke$ha that you’re going to invite back again and again. Bravo, Ke$ha. Bravo.

THE ESSENCE OF PURCHASE by essence mcclanahan nce again it’s that time of year O to enjoy seasonal drinks and truly get into the holiday spirit. Unfortunately, along with the chimes and tinsel, so come the ghosts of romances past. Exes, flings, forgotten loves, and all the otherwise unmentionable scorned lovers of your past seem to once again become relevant. I have simple advice for those tackling this issue, but first let’s discuss the differences between the two: Make-up sex is usually something that occurs after shit really hits the fan in your relationship, and should be used as nothing more than a stress relief tactic. Think of it as a fancy bow, and allow it to be the final seal packing away the tensions and stress of a bad argument. Mistake sex on the other hand, is an awkward situation in which one person believes they are participating in make up sex, yet they are actually sleeping with someone who has no intention of repairing any of the damages they have caused. While make up sex can provide closure and eventually help a couple move past an ongoing issue, mistake sex is an issue of it’s own. The cycle begins with playful texts, nostalgic inside jokes, and of

course a bit of flirting. Give it a week or two, and you may even find yourself reminiscing and wondering about how things could’ve turned out with this person. Of course we’d love to believe that we lived in a world of endless skies and handheld walks in the sun, but we know better. With celebrities marrying for spin-offs, the tendency to pair up for convenience or comfort has become somewhat of a trend. The best way to avoid this confusion is simple communication; know what you want and don’t be afraid to ask for it. If you’re only interested in someone as a sexual partner, let it be known, and if you want them for everything don’t be afraid to make that clear either. Never try and pressure someone into being with you, but rather take the time to understand what you’re both looking for so as to avoid any future conflict. From personal experience, I’d just like to say if you can only make up with sex, it is always a mistake.

29 November 2012

SUCKSGIVING by tommy roach Every year after Thanksgiving break, I hear all of my peers talking about how their individual holidays went. The general consensus is that of disdain, disgust, and discourse. No one has fun at Thanksgiving dinner, and everyone thinks they’ve had the worst one of all. Let me draw the line: Y’all ain’t got shit on my family.

Holy CRAP guys.

seems to be excited over the Ninja Turtles. I disapprove.

roommates about how cute football player’s butts are. I chuckle with my sister over this and then go back to being miserable.

12:15 PM: I find out that we have

7:00 PM: Grandma calls. She’s

relatives coming over around 2 and that I actually need to put pants on. I’d rather be playing Halo 4 and drinking rum in my bed, but I guess I’ll live. After 3 more kills.

lonely, so we pass the phone in a circle like it’s a peace pipe or something. You know, for someone who says she’s so lonely, she sure has a lot of harsh words to say to me and my dad about how we’re “deadbeats.”

11:46 AM: No one else in my family

1:15 PM: I still haven’t showered, and

7:00 AM: “I am not thankful for

instead I have taken to the internet to blog about my horrible, misunderstood life. No one gets me. Family interaction is so hard. Blah blah blah. I get off my ass and get ready after that.

being this hungover.”

2:03 PM: The family begins to arrive.

9:00 AM: My mother comes into

Let the fun begin!

my room, saying something about a parade and a breakfast of quiche. While that sounds delicious, I can’t tell if there are 3 or 4 of her in my doorway, so I go back to sleep.

2:22 PM: First offensive joke. That

11:30 AM: I sit up in my bed and

3:24 PM: I get back to my house.

realize I’ve missed most of the parade, something I’ve literally never done before. Breakfast has gotten cold, so it must be reheated. Not as good. I have no one to blame but myself, so I bite the bullet and don’t complain. Again, something I’ve literally never done before.

One of my uncles is already drunk and blathering to my sister about graduate school. She’s 15, but she humors him anyway to save me the trouble.

My day went something like this:

float?

8:00 PM: Holy shit there’s beer in my

fridge and my friends want to go out. 8:45 PM: DRUNK. 9:56 PM: I really don’t know where

escalated quickly.

I ended up at this point, but hell if it wasn’t somehow hilarious. I think I was playing the Wii U briefly? I’m already almost out of cigarettes though.

3:00 PM: I’m out of cigarettes, so I

2:00 AM: “Mom, I really cannot

decide that my local CVS and I should briefly celebrate the holiday together.

tell you where I’ve been. It’s not that I don’t want to. I honestly just don’t remember. I need to go to bed.”

4:27 PM: The “hey Tommy, why

11:45 AM: Did you see Neon

don’t you have a job, a girlfriend, or a driver’s license?” count is now up to 15. Make that 16. Dammit Uncle Joe, why do you ruin everything.

Trees on that Nina Turtles

5:33 PM: I get a text from one of my

2:15 AM: The leftover green bean

casserole has been relocated to my stomach. I have zero self control.

KNOW YOUR HOME: THE CAGES by tommy roach It’s that time of year again, folks. The semester dwindles to a close, and finals week looms over your head like a bucket of water in a doorway. Each and every one of us has a different way of studying, and sometimes that way involves getting out of the space you live in, and going somewhere quiet. Wouldn’t it be great if your school offered you a secluded place to get work done, while at the same time providing you with the remoteness that you require so your friends can’t find you while you’re working and ask you to drink with them? Temptation is a cruel bitch, and you need to pass your classes, right? Well, thankfully, the school does have spaces that allow for this sort of seclusion! So this week, I’ll be talking about one of them. A place known by many as “The Cages.” These cages are not as scary as they sound. They are one person work spaces that have a door. You cage yourself in, and work your little heart out. If that’s your particular cup of tea, these cages can actually be quite helpful in increasing your productivity. So let’s get to it. Where is it?: The study cages are located in the base-

ment of the library, and sort of function as the perimeter around the stacks down there. There are quite a few down there, so you’ll usually be able to get one to yourself. Why should I care?: Sometimes you just need to lock

yourself in a little room with no distractions but your homework. The cages are the place to do that. There is NOTHING else to do in there (except go on Tumblr, but if you’re really going to do that, maybe you should have stayed in your room). Happy studying!

have a question about sex? Ask the Alt Clinic, at: alternativeclinic.tumblr.com/ask

Questions will be answered weekly. Same time, same place.

happy bangin ’! Love, The Alt Clinic & The Indy

29 November 2012