The Hoya Guide: Feb. 15, 2013

the guide february 15, 2013

the weekly magazine for life on the hilltop

Sex On Campus exclusive eight-page pullout

Settling the Wisey’s Sandwich Debate

G3

Range Takes Cuisine To a New Level G13

Film Stars Shine In Juxtaposition

G15

this issue GEORGETOWN CABARET 3 lifestyle let’s talk about 5 soundbite food&drink 13 arts & 14 entertainment newreleases guideonline

MUSICIANS JAM FOR A GREAT CAUSE

turkish food truck | the wisey’s debate

In our sex issue in honor of Valentine’s Day, we cover the hottest topics, from threesomes to masturbation.

COURTESY THE GEORGETOWN CABARET

range | martin’s tavern

AllieDoughty Page 3

Check out our coverage of the Georgetown Cabaret, a group of 17 student musicians who will perform a rocking live concert at Fur Nightclub on Feb. 21. An annual event, this year’s Charity Rock Show will benefit the American Cancer Society and feature a 29-song setlist of popular, head-bopping tunes. Visit us online to learn about their preparations and how to purchase tickets.

“New Jersey has spawned some pretty prolific musicians. Jack the Bulldog may not seem to fall into this category, but then again, a crowd of Georgetown students chanting, “Eat that box!” is music to my ears.”

spagnuolo gallery | girl meets world

saywhat

“

‘I WANT YOU BACK’ | STRAIGHT NO CHASER AND SARA BAREILLES 

He loves to lick under my armpits.

”

— Kirsten Stewart on Robert Pattinson

the guide Braden McDonald, Executive Editor Victoria Edel, Managing Editor Hunter Main, Copy Chief Zoe Bertrand, Layout Editor Leonel De Velez, Photo Editor Kim Bussing, Deputy Guide Editor Nicole Jarvis, Deputy Guide Editor Emily Manbeck, Deputy Guide Editor Chris Grivas, Deputy Photo Editor Erica Wong, Deputy Photo Editor Jessica Natinsky, Deputy Layout Editor Kennedy Shields, Deputy Layout Editor Ian Tice, Deputy Layout Editor David Chardack, Deputy Copy Editor Shannon Reilly, Deputy Copy Editor Sean Sullivan, Deputy Copy Editor

Danny Funt, Editor-in-Chief Sheena Karkal, Guide Editor Corrections and Clarifications If you have a comment or question about the fairness or accuracy of a story, contact Executive Editor Braden McDonald at (202) 6873415 or email executive@thehoya.com.

General Information THE GUIDE is published each week during the academic year with the exception of holiday and exam periods. Address all correspondence to: THE HOYA Georgetown University Box 571065 Washington, D.C. 20057-1065 The writing, articles, pictures, layout and format are the responsibility of THE HOYA and do not necessarily represent the views of the administration, faculty or students of Georgetown University.

Signed columns and cartoons represent the opinions of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent the editorial position of THE HOYA. Georgetown University subscribes to the principle of responsible freedom of expression for student editors.

THE HOYA does not discriminate on the basis of age, gender, sexual orientation, race, disability, color, national or ethnic origin. © 2012. THE HOYA, Georgetown University twice weekly. No part of this publication may be used without the permission of THE HOYA Board of Editors. All rights reserved. THE GUIDE is available free of charge, one copy per reader, at distribution sites on and around the Georgetown University campus. Additional copies are $1 each.

Editorial: (202) 687-3415 Advertising: (202) 687-3947 Business: (202) 687-3947 Facsimile: (202) 687-2741 Email: editor@thehoya.com Online at www.thehoya.com

As if the catchy but overplayed Jackson 5 classic “I Want You Back” needed yet another cover, the a cappella group Straight No Chaser attempted to take on the challenge with the help of Sara Bareilles. While the group evokes a fun, bubbly energy through its vocals, Bareilles detracts more than adds. Not even the amusing, low-pitched, frog-sounding beat keeper can save this song from her whiny screeching.

SONGONLYRICS.COM

‘MIRRORS’ | JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE 

JT has answered our calls and finally returned to his ’90s boy-band roots. Sadly, though, “Mirrors” doesn’t fully capture the moving melodies of his ’NSync days. Though the opening is a powerful exhibition of Timberlake’s range, the piece is ultimately repetitive.

Do we really need to hear Justin sing about mirrors and scorned love for eight minutes? The song is too slow to dance to but not slow enough to be a ballad. Overall, JT’s effort is good but not great.

IDOLATOR.COM

‘RESTLESS HEART’ | MATT HIRES 

Who knew that Taylor Swift has a male twin? Combining pop rhythm with the strums of a twangy acoustic guitar, Matt Hires effectively creates a pleasurable and soulful piece. This Tampa-bred songster’s work has been featured on TV shows like “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Cougar Town.” If you’re craving more of the up-and-coming rock-country genre, Matt Hires is your man. Check out his album Forever.

EDGEOFASTAR.COM

lifestyle roots from the garden

A Ride Through Jersey’s Hall of Fame

W

hat do Bruce Springsteen and Jack the Bulldog have in common?

They were both born in Freehold, New Jersey! In the unlikely case that anyone at all was wondering, Freehold is the vibrant neighbor to my much less happening hometown, which you might remember from my last column “Suburban Girl Dispelling Urban Myths,” and it is where I go when I want to do something besides ride my bike, watch horses gallop around fields or … nope, that’s pretty much it. Yet, I will mention that Springsteen owns the largest equestrian farm in my town, and Dana Owens (a.k.a. Queen Latifah) has lived there for years as well.

Speaking of Queen Latifah, when I was at a loss to think of anything interesting about myself during introductions on the first day of my history discussion section last semester, I narrated my celebrity encounter with the singer/ actress when I was in high school. I was working as a barista at Starbucks when she came in and ordered a double short

cappuccino, only to spill it all over the turn the music venue of Asbury Park floor. In her defense, it was clearly an owes its notable reputation in part accident and she was very apologetic to Springsteen. Considered by Robert about the whole ordeal. I was slightly Santelli, former vice president of the offended when, after I recounted this Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, to be “one experience in class, my TA was aston- of the greatest rock clubs of all time,” ished by the fact that such an event the Stone Pony was the starting point took place in New Jersey. “Really?” she for Springsteen, as well as for Bon Jovi, said. “But Queen Latifah whose house was always a could live anywhere!” landmark when I used to go Back to Freehold. Incidensailing in the river near my tally, this is the same town hometown. As a side note, in which I shared a gym with I consider the Stone Pony The Situation for the durato be a far more important tion of one winter break (it AllieDoughty New Jersey attraction than was an expensive gym, and I the “Jersey Shore” house could only afford to go there in the first and, thankfully, the venue survived the place because I had a gift card). More wrath of Sandy. respectably, Kal Penn of Harold and KuNow that I think about it, New Jersey mar Go to White Castle fame attended has spawned some pretty prolific musicians. Jack the Bulldog may not seem to high school in Freehold.

But ultimately, any conversation fall into this category, but then again, about Freehold will probably start and a crowd of Georgetown students chantend with Bruce Springsteen, the pride ing, “Eat that box!” is music to my ears.

All things considered, Springsteen and joy of the town — and of New Jersey in general. Springsteen bolstered may have lost to the Black Keys in every his career at the Stone Pony, and in re- category for which he was nominated

at the Grammys this past Sunday, but the Ohio band can only hope that it will one day be as respected and successful as The Boss. As it so happens, Springsteen received a greater honor than any Grammy winner this year, and joined the likes of Paul McCartney and Elton John when he was named MusiCares Person of the Year as a result of his musical achievements and philanthropy.

I’m not by any means denying that there are some crazies who reside in New Jersey (although let’s be real here loonies like those seen on “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” hail from everywhere), but the Garden State is also home to a lot of really good-hearted, intelligent people, famous or otherwise.

After all, about a quarter of the student body here at Georgetown is from New Jersey, and who are we kidding? We know that we’re smart.

Allie Doughty is a senior in the College.

ROOTS FROM THE GARDEN appears every other Friday in the guide.

Playing Chicken With Classic Sandwiches At the guide, our staff is known for having strong opinions about pretty much everything. We’re taking stands on the pop culture issues that really matter, from tween stars to the movies that make us smile, from catchy pop songs to the stories that are dominating the Internet.

W

isey’s is a Georgetown student’s go-to spot when in search of a quick and delicious break from Leo’s. And though they sometimes find it easier to order in from the “Healthy Wisey’s” on Wisconsin, most can agree that the quality of food offered at the Prospect St. location is much better.

Baking the best cookies known to D.C. daily, Wisey’s is probably best known for their warm sandwiches. It doesn’t take long for freshmen to divide themselves into two culinary camps: Team Chicken Madness or Team Hot Chick.

So it’s no surprise that our staff is equally divided. Read the appeals from the two sides of this debate and then cast your vote online on The Hoya’s blog, The Fourth Edition.

CHICKEN MADNESS In this debate over the merits of the Chicken Madness and this newly resurgent impostor, the Hot Chick, there are a few important points to note. Apart from being a delicious sandwich concoction made with chicken, bacon, sweet peppers, provolone, onions and plenty of spices, the Chicken Madness is a Georgetown University institution.

Students and alumni remember snacking on these cheesy, peppery sandwiches just as much as they remember the big rivalry basketball games against Syracuse or their Georgetown Day debauchery.

What sandwich could possibly earn votes in a student government election? None — other than the Chicken Madness, that is, which consistently receives statistically significant percentage in almost every Georgetown University Student Association executive election.

The Hot Chick is just a cheap attempt at capitalizing on the popularity of the Chicken Madness, and like other food fads before it, such as crepes or the South Beach Diet, its popularity is not meant to last.

HOT CHICK We’re sorry to say it, but as much as we agree that the Chicken Madness might have been a staple in the past, we’re at the dawn of a new age — the age of the Hot Chick.

The Hot Chick combines ingredients you wouldn’t normally expect in a sandwich, but it somehow lets you savor each individual flavor. You’ve got some classic, deep-fried chicken with its tender, juicy goodness. The cayenne-sprinkled ranch never fails to delight. And don’t be ashamed to lick your hands. It’s just enough to add flavor without obscuring the simple goodness of the chicken fingers. Fresh tomato offers a hint of freshness in an otherwise mostly crunchy and melty treat. Creamy pepper jack cheese enhances the punch of the ranch and cayenne, making for a spicy aftertaste that doesn’t overwhelm the taste.

The Chicken Madness falls flat — bell peppers form the prominent flavor of the otherwise unseasoned chicken. Bacon is a trite attempt to add some depth, but it ends up clashing oddly with the taste of the veggies. It just can’t live up to the clear superiority of the Hot Chick.

YELP.COM

CHOOSE WISE-LY’S Don’t find yourself sandwiched between the Hot Chick and the Chicken Madness.

2.15.13 | the guide | 3

lifestyle Taking Turkish Coffee to the Streets A s anybody on the Hilltop could tell you, Georgetown undergrads enjoy their fair share of food trucks. With the weekly appearances of The Big Cheese and D.C. Slices in front of Lau, students can catch a quick bite to eat or midnight snack at a reasonable cost. And while we may feel cultured when an empanada or taco truck pulls up to 37th and O Street, what many don’t realize is that there are plenty of other food trucks a little further beyond the gates that provide a much more meaningful look into foreign traditions. The Mobile Turkish Coffee Truck, which just started its first East Coast tour, is definitely one of these establishments.

Started by American Turkish Association board member Gizem White in 2011, the Turkish Coffee Truck seeks to expose patrons to the significance of Turkish coffee customs.

“I was inspired by the growing trend of food trucks where people can buy lunch, which exposed Americans to more ethnic food,” explained White.

Having acquired material and the financial support of Turkey’s oldest coffee ground seller, Kurukahveci Mehm-

et Efendi, White was able to offer free coffee to more than 10,000 Americans last year and to begin planning the truck’s East Coast tour. Making stops in Boston, New Haven, New York City, Baltimore and Washington, D.C., the truck has been to various locations including the Turkish embassy, Harvard University and the Empire State Building and has shared the colloquial, communal experience of drinking coffee with hundreds of visitors.

“We created the message, ‘Turkish coffee: taste of friendship,’” said White. “It created cultural conversations. We reached a really big number of people, and Americans love their morning coffee. The main point was making new friends and saying hi to Americans while sharing coffee.”

White’s first foray into promoting Turkey’s culture in the United States was with 2008’s Turkayfe.org. On this website, which is also known as Turkey’s international digital coffeehouse, individuals can join conversations, share their experiences and provide different insights. Coffeehouses have had a significant impact on Turkish culture, and White aims to share

that — even if just over the Internet — with as many people as she can.

“The first coffeehouse was [founded] in Istanbul in 1555, and the anchors of the community were there. Science, religion and government would all be discussed,” White said. “I wanted to contribute to this proud tradition.”

The truck itself boasts more than just free cups of joe; it provides booklets and flyers about the culture, arts and traditions, traditional costumes and fortune tellers of Turkey as well.

“Turkish coffee is very unique. The coffee grounds sink to the bottom and make patterns and shapes. The fortune tellers can read your fortune from the cup,” said White.

Although a fairly young project, the Turkish Coffee Truck has already garnered attention from major media outlets like The Washington Post and even an official recognition from Congress. With so many years of history and a strong volunteer initiative to promote Turkish culture, White and her coffee truck team have encountered remarkable success during only the second year of their program.

For Georgetown students eager to

KIM BUSSING Hoya Staff Writer

COURTESY OF GIZEM WHITE

COFFEE AND CULTURE The Turkish Coffee Truck serves up more than just free and delicious joe.

participate, the last stop of this year’s tour will be February 17 on M Street near the bottom of the Exorcist stairs — the exact address is 3825 M St. White and her sister, also known as the Turkish coffee ladies, will also be hosting an educational presentation with Georgetown’s Turkish Students Association in traditional costumes at Georgetown on Feb. 20.

almost-doctor dave

Stomaching the Digestive Process

W

hen you walk into a room full of Nalgene-toting gym addicts getting their sweat on during a late afternoon Yates workout, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

You’re probably wondering how they can keep up all of that cardio crunching and thigh burning, but I bet you haven’t stopped to consider how their bodies are responding to such a significant fluid loss with perspiration or how they can possibly turn sips of Gatorade into life-bringing fuel for the next round of Ab Ripper X. Interested in hearing more? I’ll start with the basics and see if I can teach you a thing or two about this incredible thing you’re living and breathing in all day, every day: water.

As you may have guessed, I’ll start with the mouth, the opening to what is a continuous tube called the gastrointestinal tract that transforms perfectly delicious food and beverage into that stuff nobody ever really wants to talk about: you guessed it, poo. Let’s

4 | the guide | 2.15.13

say for the sake of this mini-lesson water molecule of microscopic prothat you’re at Tombs chowing down portions, is herded into an onrush on a juicy hamburger and enjoying of free-floating particles, antibodies, the perfect complement of your favor- proteins and red blood cells quickly ite ale. When you swallow, everything heading to the pumping chambers moves down the esophagus through of the heart. As the water molecule is propelled through the the highly acidic environoxygenating conditions of ment of your stomach, and the lungs, back into the left into the small intestine, heart, and upward through where the cells lining the the aorta, what once was inner walls happily absorb a solitary flowing river is the electrolytes and proteins quite rapidly giving rise to from the now-digested morsels of hamburger. Accom- DavidSterns numerous streams branching off in all directions. The panying this whole process is the concurrent movement of beer- crisscrossing paths of arteries and turned-water from within the intes- veins daze and confuse, but no need tine through the very same layer of to fret: After a few missed turns and cells we talked about earlier and into a little backtracking, the water molecule will eventually happen upon its your circulatory system.

This is where all the fun begins. final destination, the kidneys.

It is helpful to imagine the kidneys Gone are the distasteful sights, sounds and smells of the digestive tract; here as the body’s security force, guaranteeto stay, at least until a change of pace ing liberty and justice for all within occurs with urine excretion, are the the chaos of the blood stream. They do dark recesses of your blood vessels. A their job well — kind of like the TSA

with its exacting attention to detail at Reagan or Dulles — effectively filtering from the circulation anything that might damage other organs. They are also the sites of vitally important regulation of blood volume and a balanced concentration of electrolytes in the plasma, concentrating urine when the fluid in the body is hypotensive, or low volume, and diluting urine when there is plenty of fluid.

And so your journey ends, from a faucet in a local watering hole to the pot, the john or, as we in D.C. like to call it, the Oval Office. Cool, but what does all of this have to do with those sweaty undergrads at the gym? The short answer: quite a bit. Stay tuned for the next health talk to hear more on exercise, sports drinks and America’s love affair with hydration.

David Sterns is a student at Georgetown University School of Medicine.

ALMOST-DOCTOR DAVE appears every other Friday in the guide

let’s talk about sex

craziest

hookup

spot on

campus?

“Roof of Reiss” Jane Hoya (COL ’14)

“On the couch in Uncommon Grounds” Jane Hoya (COL ’13)

“Lower level of Lau in the moving stacks” Jane Hoya (COL ’14)

“The old Jesuit Residence” Jane Hoya (COL ’13)

“New South piano room” Jane Hoya (COL ’15)

STDs: Georgetown’s Own DADT Katherine Foley Hoya Staff Writer

W

hile Hoyas may not want to think about sexually transmitted diseases around Valentine’s Day, they’re a growing concern on college campuses nationwide — even within the front gates.

One in four individuals will acquire an STD in his or her life in Washington, D.C., according to the District’s Sexually Transmitted Infections Community Coalition. For young adults between the ages of 18 and 30 years old, chlamydia, human papillomavirus and herpes are among the most common.

“Our campus is the size of a small city. In any group of 7,000 people, there’s bound to be a few with STDs,” Rosie Bichell (SFS ’15), a member of H*yas for Choice, said.

Carol Day, the director of Health Education Services at Georgetown, said that STDs are hard to track on a campus like Georgetown.

“I know there are some [cases of sexually transmitted diseases] ... but not everyone who has one comes to Health Education Services, and not everyone who has one answers our biannual survey,” Day said.

According to Laura Kovach, director of the Women’s Center at Georgetown, two to three cases are reported every year on campus. Aside from reports used internally by Health Education Services, there are no official statistics on the actual rate of STDs at Georgetown.

Student Health Center offers various tests for students.

The office webpage lists STDs as one of the reasons students come in for routine office visits.

But because of the Hilltop’s small community feel, some students assume that they are immune from the risks of unprotected sex. On top of that, the subject is hardly a topic of serious discussion on campus.

“I don’t worry at all about [sexually transmitted diseases],” Matt, a student whose name has been changed, said.

“None of my friends have STDs, but I also haven’t asked.”

54% 29% 4%

Christina, a student whose name has been changed, said that she was told by a health services administrator that the infection rate of certain STDs is rising on campus.

“I once went to get tested for mono at the Student Health Center, and the lady in the testing room was doing chlamydia and gonorrhea tests, and she turns to me and says: ‘We have gotten 20 of these this week. A lot of people are sleeping without condoms — watch out.’”

Many students express concern for the lack of dialogue regarding STDs. “I think [STDs are] something a lot of students are aware of but many don’t think about. They think Georgetown is safe, but [STDs] are a lot more common than people think,” Haylie Jacobson (COL ’15), vice president of H*yas for Choice, said. The student group, which is not recognized by the university, tables in Red Square most days, providing students with free condoms.

“People don’t talk about them because they’re embarrassed, but it needs to be talked about,” Jacobson said.

“There’s something to be said for taking away the negative stigma around [STDs] just by making them part of the conversation.”

Day also sees the lack of dialogue regarding STDs as a roadblock for future student health. “There’s a misconception that we can’t talk about STDs, but that’s not true — we have phone lines available, and students can text in their questions.”

“The services are there — you just have to work through the misperception that they’re not,” Day said.

As with any infection, testing and treatment can’t be ignored, Kovach said.

“Many students tell their peers first if they are dealing with a health issue, and so it’s important for friends to know about resources so they can encourage their classmate, roommate or teammate to seek help,” she said.

of college students nationwide regularly use condoms during vaginal intercourse during anal intercourse

80%

during oral sex 2002 National College Assessment

19 million

new sexually transmitted infections occur each year, almost half among

of people who have an STD experience

no noticeable symptoms

American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology

15- to 24-year-olds The roof of Lau Joe Hoya (SFS ’13)

6 | the guide | 2.15.13

Center for Disease Control

62%

of college students surveyed believe they can tell if someone has an STD by “just looking,” even though the two most common ones — chlamydia and HPV — may not exhibit noticeable symptoms Smartersex.com

Navigating the Web of Love T here is an online dating site for every kind of person: Christians, farmers, convicted felons, vampires, sea captains, people looking to have an affair, beautiful people, ugly people and decidedly average people.

But even with all of these options, dating — especially as a college student — can be hard, whether one wants a longterm relationship or a quick one-night stand.

Between seemingly widespread fears of both commitment and rejection, navigating the romantic waters of Georgetown’s dating scene sometimes proves difficult. In search of calmer seas, many students are now looking to the Internet to meet their next sexual partners.

Tinder, a smartphone-based application launched last January, uses a person’s Facebook page to create a profile that contains one’s name, age, profile picture and personal interests. Combined with one’s geographic location, users can view the profiles of those nearby — taking sexual orientation into consideration — and anonymously

mark those profiles of people whom one would like to meet. If two people both approve of the other’s profile, a chat will form between the pair and they can take it from there. Since its founding a year ago, Tinder has made one million matches, according to an article by TechCrunch.

Mike, a 22-year-old senior whose name has been changed because of the nature of the subject, decided to quit using Tinder after one week because of the low success rate of his romantic encounters formed on the application.

“I chatted with three or four people, but only one conversation really went anywhere,” Mike said.

Mike also noted the potential downside of trying to find a romantic relationship through the Internet, especially in a small community like Georgetown. “[There was] growing population of girls on campus who had seen me on Tinder … which could potentially make things awkward if I saw them around or actually met them,” Mike added.

Tinder is not the only service that

LEONEL DE VELEZ/THE HOYA

takes advantage of the information on your Facebook to make matches; Bang With Friends lets a user choose which of his or her friends one wants to hook up with. Much like Tinder, the application keeps the information anonymous until there is a mutual attraction. In the case of a match, an email reading, “You’ve got a bangin’ match! Your friend [insert name here] wants to bump uglies with you!” makes its way to one’s inbox.

Bang With Friends was built by three friends, whose identities remain unknown, at a California university. In a Jan. 29 interview with The Daily Beast, the founders anonymously discussed the conception of the application.

“One night, we were shooting the shit about how online dating is broken,” one creator said. “What a lot of people want is just to skip all the shit and get to the sex.”

BWF is not the first service used for one-night stands. Grindr, a social networking application specifically designed for gay men, has grown immensely since its public release in June 2012.

According to its website, Grindr is the most popular all-male, location-based social network, with more than four million global users.

Grindr is very popular within the Georgetown gay community.

Pete, a 20-year-old junior whose name has also been changed, explains how, like all dating applications, Grindr has an array of users.

“You find a really interesting mix of people [on Grindr],” Peter said, “There are plenty of normal, nice guys and then you have … the guy who offered to pay me so that he could give me oral sex.”

But contrary to popular opinion that Grindr is solely for gay men who are looking for an easy hookup, Pete claims

1 million matches TECHCRUNCH.COM

to have met platonic friends through the application, too.

“I spent a weekend in New York and wound up hanging out with someone I had chatted with online. … We went to a bar and talked — nothing sexual there,” Peter added.

While traditional online dating services are more common with generations older than college students, some students are already taking advantage of such matchmaking services.

OkCupid, the largest free dating website in the United States, reports that 10 percent of its seven million active members are aged 18 to 24 years old, compared to 27 percent in the category of 25- to 34-year-olds.

Overall, connecting with dates through online services has become less taboo in recent years, with up to 17 percent of marriages resulting from dating websites, according a 2010 article in The Washington Post. Online dating has become the third-most common way in which two people initially meet and become married.

Some college students like Monica, whose name has been changed, are skipping the smartphone applications and carving out romantic lives on OkCupid.

“I was really fed up with college guys, so I made a profile [on OkCupid] on a whim to see if I could meet someone more mature,” Monica, a 21-year-old junior, said. “I had gone on three dates with guys who had graduated and were working in D.C. by the end of the month.”

For Monica, the appeal of online dating was the ability to meet a wider range of people than she might on campus or at a bar.

“The kind of guy I want to date isn’t hanging out at Tombs or Rhino on a Saturday night,” she said.

13.7 million

In two months, Tinder generated for its 35 million profiles

Michelle cassidy Hoya Staff Writer

Americans were using dating apps in November 2012, more than double Bang With Friends the number of users in 2011 has over 30,000 USATODAY.COM

unique users Since its launch, Bang With Friends has added, on average,

5 users per minute

SILICONREPUBLIC.COM

Guys on Tinder will send broad messages to

few

200 ladies

will respond

TECHCRUNCH.COM

MASHABLE.COM

2.15.13 | the guide | 7

hitting the spot: not just a boy’s club

I

am a woman and I masturbate. Gasp!

Shock! Awe! Yes. That’s correct. And guess what — if you’re reading this in a public place, the women around you do, too. Hey, chances are some of them are doing it right now. Jokes. That’s probably not true. That’d be outrageous. But if you are, you go, girl!

Actually, no, you don’t go, girl — that’s kind of gross. Get a room.

There is a paralyzing taboo surrounding women and their personal sexual choices.

Whether it’s from the stigma of being branded a “slut,” the crippling pieces of legislation that force women into unwanted decisions about our bodies or stifling traditional upbringings, we’ve been taught to be afraid of our sexuality. We’ve been told that once a woman has had one too many sexual partners she is suddenly a “whore” or a “skank.” Women have been conditioned to believe that personal control of their sexuality isn’t acceptable and that a woman’s desire for an orgasm is something that should never be admitted. Even I at times pretend I don’t like sex. But I do. I like sex a lot. And when I’m having, as one says, a “dry spell,” I help myself out.

And guess what some women do, too?

They watch porn. Lots of it. Some women could even be called “connoisseurs” of pornography. I’m not much of a connoisseur, but I do dabble just enough to know that Paris Hilton’s tape is overrated and lame.

She’s awkward, has a baby voice and creeps me out.

These elements of sexual activity aren’t just taboo in mixed social settings but are sometimes unspoken even among women.

It’s shocking how little women will discuss masturbation in the company of other women. Take my roommates and me, for example. We have all been friends for more

nastygurl21 posted: 6:09 pM 3 comments, 2 likes

than three years. We know each other’s bowel movements, menstrual cycles and “number” — that’s how many people a person has had sex with, in case you were wondering. It wasn’t until this year on a quiet weekday evening, sitting around our cozy living room, however, when I shyly asked, “Hey guys, do you watch porn?” that we finally broke the lock on revealing our masturbatory habits.

While I can’t claim to speak for all women, the Kinsey Institute reports that 77 percent of women between the ages of 20 and 24 have masturbated. I can also tell you that among the women I am usually surrounded by, masturbation is a semi- to fully regular activity. Now by “regular,” I don’t mean two to four times a day as some men have told me they do. I mean, really, TWO to FOUR times a day? Who has time for that?! By “regular,” I mean I do it one to two times a week.

It’s time that women stop being embarrassed about wanting an orgasm. The truth is that it’s really hard for a lot of women to reach climax. And you can’t possibly expect someone else to know your body until you do. I’m not saying that we need to run around telling our lab partners and study buddies how masturbating was last night, but women need to be proud of their sexual explorations.

Be smart, make thoughtful decisions and be proud of them when you do. And, if there’s a night when you go home alone, treat yo’self.

Oh, and, in the spirit of full disclosure, last night I had a sex dream about Jonathan Rhys Meyers as King Henry VIII from “The Tudors.” I’m talking end-of-SeasonOne wood-scene style. And yeah. I rocked his world.

finding the value in taking it slow

T

he average gay man has sex with eight different men each year, according to an oft-quoted 2003 Dutch study.

I consider myself a gay man, and I can count the number of men I’ve had sex with on half of one hand — round the decimal down.

Although a lot of gay men will deny it, there is certainly a stigma against those who choose to wait before going “all the way.” Call me traditional, but I was raised to believe that sex is something sacred and special to be shared between two people who love each other. Cue the “awws.”

I’ve never been in love, but I am not a virgin, so I can’t say that I only wait for love. However, I could certainly say that I have had sex in the past so I wouldn’t be perceived as “a prude.” Sure, this is an immature rationale, but there’s something else that holds me back.

The truth is that I love myself — a lot. I’m a [expletive] catch. If a guy wants to have sex with me, then he better be worth it. The Facebook messages at 3 a.m. are flattering, the ass-grabbing at the bar is kind of a compliment — and please, do proceed to buy me drinks; I hate spend-

ing money on alcohol. Also, we all love a good ego boost. Not to mention that I’ll make out with anything — man, woman, cheeseburger — after a couple beers. You’re talking to the epitome of a “two-beer queer” here.

I’m all for people being sexually liberated. It’s America. It’s completely OK if one prefers to have protected sex frequently with consenting adults. Life is short, and if that’s what makes you happy, then get some. Your body, your rules.

But let’s go back a paragraph or two. I had sex with a man for the first time when I was 18 years old,

boyzrcute posted: 12:37 AM 1 comment, 4 likes

and I do not regret it. He was a good guy — not to mention a really cute college senior while I was an awkward freshman — and he respected me. I have no regrets there. But like we all do in life, I learned from my past (notice I didn’t say “mistakes,” which people also learn from), and I take it forward with me.

I go out on the weekends, get drunk and hook up with guys — and Facebook-stalk the hell out of that cute junior who works for The Corp — but I just like to wait a while before “banging,” as the kids say nowadays.

confessions of a 20-year-old virgin

I

am a virgin. I’m not trying to shout it out from the rooftops, but I’m also not ashamed of it. I’ve never had sex.

And? To be fair, I’ve never encountered a situation in my life where the opportunity to have sex was standing right in front of me. Sure, I could have taken a casual hookup or a more emotionally intense relationship to that level if I had wanted to, but I didn’t. That’s just not my style.

I could outline a list of reasons why it’s great to not have sex, like those pamphlets they always had in my high school infirmary.

1. You’re not going to get an sexually transmitted diseases.

2. You never have to worry about how cute your underpants are.

3. You have to shave certain parts of your body less frequently.

4. You have time to read for pleasure.

5. Don’t have sex, because you will get chlamydia and die.

Unfortunately, that’s not a very interesting explanation of my life choices thus far. Also, most of those points are null anyway. I shave pretty regularly in order to try to maintain the semblance of self-respect, I’m pretty sure no boy would actually care what my underpants look like and you can get genital herpes without having sexual intercourse (which is terrifying, by the way). I’m not expecting to immaculately conceive any time soon, but I heard it happened once like 2013 years ago, so that point’s moot. And I already don’t have time to for read for pleasure, so let’s not kid ourselves.

I honestly don’t know exactly if I’m waiting to have sex until marriage, and it’s something I’ve thought about a lot lately. First of all, sitting through a four-

LET’S BLOG ABOUT SEX anonymous hoyas sound off about taboo topics

hour-a-week seminar on sexuality, reproduction and humanity for a semester taught me some weird things. You haven’t had real sex education until you’ve watched your professor stick his entire hand in a condom and viewed a video about STD protection set to the tune of OutKast’s “Ms. Jackson.”

Secondly, the class meant that I was thinking about sex for a solid four hours every week — and then some — when I did homework for the class and just sat around with nothing else to do. By the end of the course and my related self-examination, I came to one simple conclusion: I’m not ready to have sex yet.

I have no moral problems with sex. If you’re out there getting some real good lovin’, you keep doing you. I’m just not ready to give myself in that way to another person. Sex is ultimately a means

justdoinme posted: 6:09 pM 3 comments, 2 likes

of connecting both physically and emotionally with someone in an incredibly intense way that I am not personally prepared for. I mean, I’ve heard sex is fun, but I’ve also heard bungee jumping is fun. No, those two are not the same, but I’m not going bungee jumping any time soon — or ever.

What I’m trying to say is that whether or not to have sex is my personal choice. Sex has quite real consequences — venereal disease and children along with the emotional implications — that I’m am not ready to risk right now.

Someday, I will be. That might be when I’m married, and it might be when I’ve found someone with whom I connect with so deeply that I want to share mywhole self. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. For right now though, I’m happy with who I am and the choices that I’ve made.

i kiss girls ... and i like it

T

his is my third year here on the Hilltop and the first Valentine’s Day that I’ve been single in college. It also happens to be the best one. Why? Simple: This year, I’ve discovered the real depth of kissing.

Everyone talks about how great it is to experiment with different types of people in college, but no one ever thinks you’re talking about just kissing different people.

If I could list kissing as one of my hobbies on a professional resume, I would. Good kissing is the perfect balance of innocence and expertise. You don’t know where the night is going, and you don’t care because in the moment, just the kissing itself is enjoyable.

You forget where you are, what time it is, what you have to do the next day. Nothing else matters.

There are a variety of types of kissers.

Men tend to get aggressive, and that’s great for the most part. There’s nothing better than forgetting to breathe (so long as you have a second to do so in the near future) because you’re so wanted in that moment. Even as breathing becomes more difficult and less frequent, somehow you are left feeling rejuvenated and alive.

Women, on the other hand, have a gentler touch.

This too is great, because you both really feel like you want to be there, rather than one person desperately clinging to the other. Sometimes, I think it’s almost more intimate than being naked; it requires a certain touch. It’s the kind of passion that you feel in the moment but that also wells up inside you for a rainy day.

The first two years I was at Georgetown, I was in a fairly serious relationship with a guy in the year above me. It was fun — we did all of the usual Georgetown couple-y things together. We went to Baked and Wired, Cherry Tree Massacre and the Diplomatic Ball. Eventually, I outgrew him and had to leave him. But the crazy thing is that our good kissing propelled me to totally ignore all the other warning signs that said that we weren’t meant to be. But as soon as I realized the kissing had lost its spark, I knew we were really done.

mizxoxo posted: 2:15 pM 2 comments, 3 likes

This is the first year I’ve been free to explore who I enjoy kissing the most, and it’s the best thing that’s happened to me. With kissing, you don’t have to think. You kiss, you leave, you go home by yourself and you wake up with the lingering taste of someone else fresh on your lips. It’s those hints of electricity that give kissing its alluring, mystical powers. It could lead to something more, something great — or nothing at all, and it was just living in the moment. It’s monumental and meaningless all at once.

If you feel that it’s important to know, I identify as straight. You may think that I have bisexual or gay tendencies, but I shouldn’t have to identify myself as anything. I am who I am in this moment. And in this moment, I love kissing.

You know how athletes or artists experience that rush — that feeling of bliss when you’re adequately challenged and capable of handling it? That’s the feeling I get with kissing. I’m an Olympic kisser.

Here is my advice to everyone: Don’t think of gender as a reason to kiss or not to kiss someone.

It’s way too great to cut off half of the population over a little technicality like that. Sometimes, kissing men is great because they’re powerful, sturdy and take your breath away with their intensity. But sometimes, you look to one of your female friends and realize that she’s stunning — and you already love her personality. She knows you better than anyone else at the party, so why not kiss her? It’s delicate and intimate.

Ignite a flame. Kiss a stranger, your best friend or that person you’ve always wanted to explore.

Get to know him or her in a way that is completely unique to kissing, smooching, playing tonsil hockey — whatever you call it. I promise it’ll brighten your day, and, if nothing else, you’ll get some great practice for when that one special someone comes along.

what’s the

worst

pickup line

someone has tried on you?

“The word of the day is legs.

Would you like to help me spread the word?”

Three’s COMPANY O ne may be the loneliest number, but as the song goes, two can be just as bad. Britney Spears provided a possible solution — “3.”

At Georgetown, threesomes are more prevalent than many might expect. However taboo they still might seem, threesomes are a part of sex life on campus and are diverse in form, substance and level of intrigue.

Jessica, a sophomore whose name has been changed because of the nature of the subject, shared her experiences with a menage-à-trois, and shed some light on the expectations of threesomes. When Jessica had some friends and former coworkers visit Washington, D.C., she had a threesome with a man and woman after a night of drinking.

Although the other man and woman were romantically involved, Jessica recounts that she never felt uncomfort-

Jane Hoya (SFS ’15)

“My boyfriend won’t mind…”

Joe Hoya (MSB ’15)

“You were my NSO crush.”

Joe Hoya (NHS ’14)

“Want to go to my dormitorio para estudiar uno a uno?”

Joe Hoya (MSB ’15)

MICHELLE XU/THE HOYA

zach gordon Hoya Staff Writer

able during the experience.

“Being friends with them allowed me to feel safe and comfortable,” Jessica said.

While Jessica says her threesome was good fun, it is not something she feels like she would be interested in actively pursing again.

Although she stated that she did not really notice the male-centric nature of the experience at the time, the man had sex with both her and the other woman, and then they both performed oral sex on him. In threesomes composed of two women and one man, the man can sometimes become the focus. Instances of two men and one woman are uncommon in heterosexual groupings.

This stereotype breaks down, however, when the threesome consists of just men. John, who is now a junior, hooked up with Tom during part of last year. When Tom invited John to join him in a threesome with another guy Tom was involved with, John accepted. Although John did not know the third person, he said the initial awkwardness of the threesome did not stop it from being an overall steamy experience.

“Adding a third man added something new,” John said.

“And it was the best sex I ever had.”

Although a threesome is the most common form of group sex on campus, Claire, a freshman, once found herself intertwined and naked with a few men and women in an orgy, also after a night of drinking.

Claire was not great friends with the mixed group before the experience but said this lack of familiarity reduced some of the tension and awkwardness she expected would engulf her in the beginning stages of group sex.

For Claire, an orgy with people whom she did not know as well as they knew each other ended up being a worthwhile sexual departure.

Unlike the group sex experience that Jessica details, Claire says that the focus was not on the men, but on the few women who participated. Claire’s night of sex with a group of people defies the more prevalent stereotype that threesomes and orgies will revolve around the men in mixed company.

Raul was not swept up in poly-passion after a night of drinking but carefully planned a threesome with his thengirlfriend and one of her female friends. Unfortunately for Raul, he and his girlfriend broke up before they could experience a third partner, but he had some advice to offers in hindsight.

“It’s more important for the girl to choose the other girl, especially if [she’s] a girl you care about,” he said.

“Have you been to the forest lately?

Because I smell a fox.”

“So you’re a ginger…”

Joe Hoya (MSB ’15) Jill Hoya (SFS ’15)

“Do you play trumpet? Cause you make me horny” Jill Hoya (SFS ’15)

10 | the guide | 2.15.13

“People say I look like the quarterback of the 49ers. If you strike out with him I’ll be your backup” Jill Hoya (NHS ’16)

Disabling Stereotypes

what’s the

T

turnoff for you?

Sarah amos Hoya Staff Writer

he summer before his junior year of high school, Evan Monod (COL ’15) had his first serious girlfriend.

Monod has cerebral palsy which affects his balance, so he uses crutches when walking.

“Early into it, she just asked me, ‘So, does everything work?’ I’m like, yeah! Yeah, it works,” Monod said. “But I’d never been asked that before. It was really awkward.”

Living with a disability, Monod admits such intimate and even rude questions are not uncommon.

Lydia Brown (COL ‘15) agreed.

“It would be considered inappropriate for me to ask a non-disabled person, ‘So, what’s sex like for you? Have you had it? Do you even know what sex is?’” said Brown, who is autistic.

The prevailing attitude in American society toward the sex lives of the disabled is a mixture of both stigma and lurid curiosity, according to Brown. Among the most commonly searched for terms that led readers to her blog, “Autistic Hoya,” are “Can autistic people have sex?” and “Is it possible for autistic people to have children?”

Brown said that the search queries on her blog speak to a deeper issue regarding disabled people and sexuality.

“Just like anyone else, disabled people can be sexual beings. Disabled people can also be asexual, just as non-disabled folks can be,” Brown said. “But there is a really long history of desexualizing disabled people by assuming we are incompetent, that we do not have agency and that we are incapable of articulating or comprehending desire.”

Brown says that among her disabled friends, just as many will be romantically involved with a non-disabled partner as a disabled one. And in her past romantic relationships, the joys and challenges she and her partner had were not necessarily because she is autistic, she said.

“Just like in any relationship, the same things can come up,” she said.

If both partners are disabled, the greatest challenge may come from competing access needs — for example, if one partner needs to be left alone several hours a day and the other desires much more socializing.

“People act surprised when disabled people are in relationships,” Brown said. “But in reality, the differences between disabled and able-bodied or neurotypical are not so vast,” Brown said.

Brown added that a disability should be treated the same way as other human characteristics like race, ethnicity and age.

“I should be looked at just like anybody else,” she said.

“You shouldn’t be fetishizing me because I’m Asian, you shouldn’t be fetishizing me because I’m small and you shouldn’t be fetishizing me because I’m disabled. … If you are, then you are the one with the serious problem, not me,” she said.

But on the Hilltop, the challenges facing disabled students come out of malice but rather a lack of understanding, Monod said.

The greatest relationship challenge he faces is getting “friend-zoned” — essentially being seen as a friend and nothing more.

“I’ve had many first dates here, and none of them have really gone anywhere,” Monod said. “Most of them end with, ‘You’re a great guy, but …’”

“One girl said, ‘Evan, you’re a great guy, but I don’t think I can take care of someone with your needs,’” Monod recalled. “I’m not asking you to marry me! I’m just asking you to get coffee or something. You’re not going to be a nurse — you’re going to be a friend or a girlfriend.”

In looking for a relationship on the Hilltop, Monod doesn’t cite his disability as the greatest obstacle, but it certainly doesn’t make things easier in a hookup culture where physical intimacy often precedes the emotional.

“I’m a liberal, progressive person. But for me personally — I guess I’m old school — but I can’t have physical intimacy before emotional intimacy,” he said.

Monod looks for someone who he will get to know personally, tearing down whatever barriers stand in the way.

“I’m an open person emotionally. Maybe not physically, but emotionally, I am very available,” he said.

“I’m also available,” he quipped.

biggest

“Arrogance” Jane Hoya (SFS ’13)

“Someone who likes to eat at Leo’s” Jane Hoya (COL ’13)

“Neediness” Joe Hoya (MSB ’16)

“Someone who doesn’t like coffee and social justice” Jane Hoya (SFS ’13)

“Rudeness” Jane Hoya (COL ’15)

TOP RIGHT, MICHELLE XU/THE HOYA; LEFT AND BOTTOM RIGHT, CHRIS BIEN/THE HOYA

2.15.13 | the guide | 11

Production Staff SARAH AMOS STEVEN PICCIONE SHEENA KARKAL DANNY FUNT BRADEN MCDONALD VICTORIA EDEL ZOE BERTRAND LEONEL DE VELEZ HUNTER MAIN

Issue Editor Issue Editor Guide Editor Editor-in-Chief Executive Editor Managing Editor Layout Editor Photo Editor Copy Chief

COVER PHOTOS BY CHRIS BIEN

food&drink Serving Up Adventure Julia decicco Special to The Hoya

M

y favorite part of Valentine’s Day is taking the opportunity to dine out. So when my boyfriend told me he was coming down to visit the weekend before Valentine’s Day, I told him to forgo the chocolates and flowers and instead treat me to a meal at “Top Chef” runner-up Brian Voltaggio’s Range in Friendship Heights.

I was immediately taken aback upon entering the restaurant, a 14,000-squarefoot establishment entirely enclosed by glass. Range has nine visible kitchens for its nine sections of the menu, including a raw bar, bakery, salumeria, woodoven pizza station, wood grill and candy bar, amongst others. Despite its initially overwhelming grandeur, the restaurant also has a casual side, as exhibited by the aprons and Converse sneakers worn by all of Range’s employees.

My waitress introduced the menu as “traditional ingredients with a modern twist.” This succinct statement describes Range’s selection perfectly. Best if shared, every plate on the extensive menu manages to turn traditional American staples, such as pizza and cornbread, into culinary masterpieces. The waitress recommended that we order six to eight courses for the pair of us.

We started the meal off with a few selections from the restaurant’s acclaimed bakery. The cheddar chive biscuits with pepper jelly were an impeccable combination of savory and sweet. The textured jelly, rich and sweet, perfectly complemented the sharp flavors of cheddar and chive. Served in a skillet, the cornbread with bacon marmalade was equally satisfying. The cornbread was warm and textured, crumbling at the cut of a knife, while the bacon marmalade impeccably fused together salty and sweet flavors.

Another highlight was Range’s selec-

JULIA DECICCO FOR THE HOYA

CUT THE CHEESE Range’s menu gives a modern twist to typical ingredients.

 RANGE 5335 Wisconsin Ave. NW cuisine: Contemporary price: $$$$ tion of seven artisan cheeses. Served on a cutting board, the cheeses came with some apple rosemary sauce to offset some of the more pungent cheeses, citrus mustard and small toasts. Among the cheeses, the maple-smoked Cabot cheddar was a standout. However, the Monocacy Ash goat cheese, with its lush, creamy consistency that spreads on toasts as easily as butter, reigned supreme. Though Range’s salumeria station boasts an extensive selection, we chose to order only a sampling of the Virginia country ham. My boyfriend devoured the ham before I even managed a bite, later proclaiming it the best ham he had ever eaten.

Feeling adventurous, we decided to try the whole rabbit, for our main course. Infused with greens and spices, the rabbit was delicious, but it was the least enjoyable aspect of the meal. This was due mostly to its texture, which was a rubbery crossbreed of the consistencies of chicken and liverwurst.

Along with the rabbit, we ordered “seamless” ravioli stuffed with goat cheese. Perfectly round and served over a few spoonfuls of hearty chili, my encounter with the ravioli was a positive one. The warm goat cheese was creamy and rich, and the ravioli’s dough melted in my mouth.

Desserts are definitely a strong suit for Range. In addition to having a candy and chocolate station, an employee carts around a display of the pastries, cakes and puddings. Due to our full stomachs, however, my boyfriend and I opted to share the house-made sorbets and ice cream: a trio of granny smith apple, blood orange and cinnamon peppercorn scoops. This refreshing dessert, served over a spoonful of crumbled cookies, was the perfect end to a fantastic meal. After Range, I experienced a food coma, which made me unable to move and induced ten hours of sleep, but it was well worth the obscene calorie intake and substantial bill. Range was the perfect Valentine’s Day gift.

Martin’s Elevates The Classic Brunch connor valaik Special to The Hoya

N

o undergraduate will deny that having at least one hungover brunch is a college tradition. Some students roll out of bed on weekend mornings and stumble into Leo’s to question the decisions they made the night before.

I have to admit that Leo’s is convenient if you’re looking for a “drown your sorrows in food” type of breakfast. However, you might want to avoid a certain someone from last night, you may have had such a bad night that you need to treat yourself CONNOR VALAIK FOR THE HOYA or you may have had such a good night that you deserve to treat yourself. When I SIMPLY DIVINE Martin’s creates a find myself in these situations, I call some delicious brunch at collegiate prices. friends and go to Martin’s Tavern for a defood, so there’s not really anything out licious brunch Martin’s Tavern, on the corner of Wis- of the ordinary, but the sheer size of the consin Avenue and N Street, is not only a menu means there’s something for everyGeorgetown staple but a D.C. institution. body. Our party ordered the early riser — Known as a favorite among U.S. presi- two eggs any style with a choice of ham, bacon or sausage dents and other and served with dignitaries, Martoast, home fries tin’s may seem like and complimenit’s geared towards tary coffee. Ala more geriatric though it was a audience, but they simple dish, each should appeal to MARTin’s Tavern component was a younger crowd 1264 Wisconsin Ave. NW cooked to perfecsince they serve tion and everydelicious brunches cuisine: Brunch one cleaned their until 4 p.m. on the price: $$$$ plates. weekends.

The true showUpon our 11 a.m. stopper, though, arrival last Sunday morning, my party was promptly seated in was the seasonal pancakes. I was confused one of the cozy booths next to the window. when I was told that they were pumpkin The wood paneling that covers the wall pancakes, but I ordered them anyway simas well as the restaurant’s unique antique ply because I will eat just about anything chandeliers and artwork give the tavern that’s pumpkin flavored. After the first an endearingly old feel. Indeed, entering sweet bite, I made everyone at the table try Martin’s is like stepping back into history them. There was just the right amount of since almost every booth has been graced pumpkin flavor. I would encourage everyby the presence of a famous politician like one to order them with one caveat: you JFK. The dimly lit interior also provides the may have to fight off some wandering forks attempting to steal a piece. restaurant with a cozy ambiance.

The prices are moderate, especially Two of us ordered coffee, which we both found bold and flavorful. The other when you factor in the quality of the food two ordered Bloody Marys, which they and the fact that it’s a famous Georgecommented were perfectly spicy. Since we town restaurant. Depending on what were all drinking water as well, we were you order, your bill will be somewhere also pleased that our waitress never let between $15 and $20 with tip included.

Though if you order an appetizer or some our glasses remain less than half full.

To our delight our food came within adult beverages, be prepared to pay a few ten minutes of ordering. The menu of- extra dollars.

Martin’s will always be on my list of fers typical breakfast items like pancakes and French toast as well as a plethora of brunch spots. I’m looking forward to gosalads, sandwiches and other lunch fa- ing back soon to find out what the next vorites. Martin’s serves American-style bar seasonal pancake is.



2.15.13 | the guide | 13

arts&entertainment

‘Black Comedy’ Brings Humor to Light

T

he theater world often makes it hard to find a play that can sustain itself around one central conceit; however, Peter Shaffer’s one-act farce “Black Comedy” at the Signature Theater succeeds in doing just that.

The play centers around Brindsley Miller (Jerzy Gwiazdowski), a paragon

COURTESY NO RULES THEATER COMPANY

LIGHTS OUT Signature Theater’s new show is chock-full of dark laughs.

of the struggling artist desperate to be discovered, and his posh Knightsbridge soon-to-be fiance Carol Melkett (Kathryn Saffell). The couple has invited Carol’s uptight, pompous, ex-army-officer father Colonel Melkett (Matthew Wilson) over for a party. Brindsley is also expecting a wealthy German art collector, Georg Bamberger (Joshua Morgan), who is supposed to buy one of Brindsley’s sculptures for a large sum of money.

He and Carol have “borrowed” furniture from the apartment of their neighbor, Harold Gorringe (Brian Sutow), a dandy beau. Just as they are expecting their guests, there is an electrical failure, the apartment is plunged into darkness, Harold returns, a few unexpected guests drop in “while the power was out” and the audience descends into a bottomless pit of hilarity.

The play revolves around darkness. It is staged in a reversed lighting scheme: the play opens in the pitch-black. A few minutes into the dialogue a fuse short circuits, and glaring lights illuminate the stage, revealing the characters in a “blackout.” Whenever matches, candles or torches are used in the scenes, the

lights grow dim. The comedy lies in the ability of the audience to watch the characters stumble and blunder around in the darkness — dramatic irony at its finest.

Shaffer’s device of inversion lifts the facade of social etiquette, exhibiting the play’s array of characters in their exposed states and shedding light (quite literally) on shades of their personalities that are usually kept hidden.

If timing is everything in comedy, then that is true in spades for Shaffer’s comic staple. Written in the 1960s, this outrageous British farce full of sexual undertones requires broad physical buffoonery combined with exquisite timing to work. Pity the cast that has not had substantial experience or training in that area — their efforts truly would be a lot of flailing around in the dark.

The No Rules Theatre Company’s production of “Black Comedy,” however, terrific. Shaffer’s ingenious technical gimmick provides ample opportunity for visual humor, opportunity that has been fully exploited by the team. While the visual gags do threaten to wear a little thin halfway through the play, the com-

Exhibit Captures Unexpected Beauty

C

an art affect change in its viewers? One has to ask this question when looking at the pieces of Lynn Cazabon’s new collection “Uncultivated,” currently on display at Georgetown’s Spagnuolo Gallery. Cazabon’s new collection falls firmly within the camp of performative art — that is, art which not only seeks to capture an idea or image but also seeks to engender action from its viewers beyond analysis or appreciation. In this case, the desired action is multi-fold, but all its elements relate to a greater awareness and preservation of the natural in an increasingly urban environment.

Pursuing this goal of recapturing a culture of ecological awareness and appreciation, this series is not particularly unique in the contemporary art scene; however, this ongoing installation’s execution features a number of novel elements, which work to elevate “Uncultivated” as a compelling piece of both art and activism.

Authentically communicating a unique perspective is fundamental to making great art. The photos of “Uncultivated” succeed in large part because they are framed from a fresh, full eco-

14 | the guide | 2.15.13

logical vision. The series achieves this goal not only through the direct framing of its photos but also through its choice of subject matter. Unlike many series oriented around natural subjects, this collection focuses itself on an oft maligned and ignored member of flora: weeds.

At first, this seems an odd choice; weeds rarely come to mind when addressing or depicting aesthetic beauty.

But that’s just the point.

On her website, which can be linked through the QR code with every photo, Cazabon explains, “Commonly known as ‘weeds,’ the project draws attention to tiny pockets of wildness within the urban environment and challenges the common practice of privileging certain parts of nature at the expense of others.”

Thus, the photos of this collection, each beautifully rendered, play with and expand our view of what from the natural world is and is not beautiful.

Moreover, the unique installation of this collection, with pieces scattered from the halls of Georgetown to the streets of Boston, serves as a question of and experiment with the place of the natural world in modern society. This re-

Ghazi bin hamed Hoya Staff Writer pany’s superb acting of Shaffer’s script is full of witty one-liners that save the play.

As a farcical rollick, however, there is no doubt that “Black Comedy” entertains. There are some side-splitting turns from the supporting players, with one highlight being Lisa Hodsoll’s wonderful portrayal of prissy Miss Furnival’s descent from an upstanding member of the community to an alcohol swigging eccentric once the glare of social scrutiny is dimmed. In the minimal role of electrician and amateur art critic Schuppanzigh, meanwhile, Ryan Mitchell very nearly steals the show with a comic tour de force.

At the conclusion of the play, as Schuppanzigh delights in his God-like role of returning light to Brindsley’s anarchic world, the audience is left with the sense that, as Shaffer’s reversal implies, the result is far from illuminating. In “Black Comedy,” darkness is light, and it is only in the absence of both light and society’s glare that the truth becomes fully visible.

Black Comedy plays through March 2 at the Signature Theatre — 4200 Campbell Ave. in Arlington, Va.

JERROD MACFARLANE Special to The Hoya

inforces the focus on weeds, persistently finding ways into landscapes awash with metal and concrete. The photos seem to capture the underlying, oft-overlooked vitality of plant life, the weeds almost becoming characters rather than objects.

In one photo, a bed of weeds seems to creep up on the Georgetown campus, which is just visible off on the horizon.

This playful vitality is crucial to the success of the collection. It reminds those of us on and off campus — for whom it is easy to forget that organic matter exists outside quads, lawns and salads — of the beauty and resilience of plants. Also, by attaching a barcode link to each photo, Cazabon offers viewers of the collection an opportunity to explore and act upon her art. As issues of climate change and ecological sustainability continue to press to the fore, it will be as important for works like “Uncultivated” to be produced as it will be to engage in political dialogues. You cannot develop solutions to our future problems without works like this, as they not only draw our eyes to the overlooked and forgotten but also aid us in reimagining how these may be engaged and ameliorated.

ART.GEORGETOWN.EDU

SEEING GREEN “Uncultivated” captures the unexpected beauty of the urban world, with a focus on weeds.

arts&entertainment girl meets world

The Magic of Television: Finding Yourself on Screen

W

hile editing my tribute to funny that I think they are. Chandler, “30 Rock” from a few weeks coincidentally, is my favorite Friend, so ago, Copy Chief Hunter Main this didn’t sting as much as he’d hoped mocked me for comparing myself to it would.

But in those cases, it’s a little easier to Liz Lemon, Tina Fey’s character. “Every girl thinks she’s Liz Lemon,” he said. At see myself in the characters because our the time I replied, “No, I really am Liz situations — minus all their specific ecLemon,” but he wasn’t exactly wrong — centricities — aren’t so wildly different. a simple look at Tumblr will show that The characters on “Girls” and “Friends” all live in my hometown. Abed, Annie many girls believe that they’re like Liz. But I think that’s half the point; enter- and Troy are in college. Harry Potter, for tainment is often at its best when a char- all its magic, is about a high school — I acter says something and you think, may have never faced He-Who-Must-Not“Yes! That’s me!” Every television series, Be-Named, but I’ve done my fair share of film or book that I’ve become obsessed boring history reading. with has at least one character that I’ve Even more interesting is finding myhad this “a-ha” moment with. self in characters who seem radically Recently, I fell in love with Lena Dun- different and are in completely insane ham’s “Girls” for this reason, something situations. Take “Doctor Who,” a show my mother probably wouldn’t be too about a time-travelling alien with an happy to know. Don’t worry, Mom — I inexplicable English accent. Though don’t have a stalker ex-boyI have just one heart, have friend, I’ve never done drugs been alive for a fraction of and my job isn’t that miserhis 1,200 years and have yet able. That’s the magic of teleto save the world, I see myvision — though the titular self in the Doctor. He’s emo“Girls” lead lives much more tional and needy and can’t debaucherous than my own, stand when things don’t go VictoriaEdel his way or when his friends there are still these connecting moments, things they leave him. The universe has say that sound as if I wrote them myself. never literally torn apart me and my Sometimes Dunham’s character, one true love, but his (at times over the Hannah, does something wildly narcis- top) emotions resonate with me. The sistic or says something particularly self- Doctor isn’t the only character on that loathing, and I see myself in her. Some- show I’ve connected with, though — times Shoshanna is naive or manic, and there’s Rory Williams, the 2,000-yearI see myself there, too. Marnie explained old Roman Centurion who is always the how she wishes that someone would one who loves others more. Who knew just tell her what to do for the rest of her that I’d have so much in common with life so she can just be happy — that’s the someone so impossible? quintessential 20-something problem. I There’s just something incredible don’t want to be like these characters — about that moment when an alien hunwho are all unlikable and rather expert dreds of miles and thousands of years at turning their lives into total messes — away says the words you always wish but I am. you could have put together in a senI’m not the only one who sees myself tence. That’s the magic of entertainin characters — if I were, quizzes that ment, the weird connections that help ask “which Disney princess are you?” you empathize with these over-the-top would be less popular. My friends and characters when their experiences I frequently discuss which Harry Pot- seems so absurd.

So though I’ve never done cocaine ter character we would be (I’m obviously Nymphadora Tonks — bubbly and with my flamboyant roommate, fallen smart with a dangerous, unrequited in love with a werewolf or travelled to love streak). I’ve also forced my friends the end of time, those who have are to tell me which “Community” charac- some of the flawed, needy, nerdy and ter I would be — apparently I combine hysterical characters I see myself in and the uptight but upbeat Annie and the who keep me coming back for more.

But really — I am Liz Lemon. overzealous and overbearing Britta with a touch of the nerdy Abed. My brother once told me that if I were a character Victoria Edel is a junior the College. on “Friends,” I would be Chandler be- GIRL MEETS WORLD appears every cause my jokes aren’t funny, but it’s other Friday in the guide.

Exhibit Explores Fame Through Different Lenses KELLY LUI Special to The Hoya

T

ucked away in the corner of the second floor of Corcoran Gallery of Art, “Shooting Stars” is a small exhibit that provokes big ideas. Open from Feb. 9 to April 21, 2013, the exhibit features early Hollywood publicity stills and the portraits by Andy Warhol, and it explores the concepts of fame and celebrity over the span of more than half a century.

Viewers first encounter the works of Warhol in a cozy, dimly lit room. Known to many as “the Father of Pop Art,” Warhol delivers a whole new interpretation of fame. He famously said, “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes,” and his liberal notion of celebrity is reflected in his photographs. In tune with his statement on fame, Warhol casts beautiful but unknown faces in his works, and by having them employ the postures typical of Hollywood’s publicity shots, he transforms these “unidentified” men and women into public personalities.

Warhol also highlights the idea that the fame or reputation of celebrity is often the result of public perception. In his Polaroid shots, he often had his subjects — including famous stars like Jackie Curtis — put on extremely heavy white makeup that hid their true complexions but creates a sense of heightened glamor. Also shown in the exhibit are his altered versions of the portraits of Ted Kennedy and Ina Ginsburg. Using his favorite technique of screen-printing, Warhol retains only the silhouette of the figure. Placed side by side with their original Polaroid shots, these manipulated portraits display a clearly transformed personality, reflecting Warhol’s perception of his subject. For example, the silhouette of Kennedy, outlined with blue and red diamond dust, conveys a very pronounced air of authority and confidence.

Crossing to the other room, viewers

ALL PHOTOS CORCORAN.ORG

FACE VALUE Jackie Curtis was an actor, singer and member of Warhol’s inner circle in the 1970s.

SIREN Silent film actress Irene Dunne, is featured in the Corcoran exhibit. will find themselves in a completely different atmosphere, surrounded by black and white portraits of stars in dignified postures typical of the Golden Age of Hollywood. These photos are the products of publicity campaigns launched by major studios like MGM and Warner Brothers in the 1920s, presenting stars as “picture personalities” to an enthusiastic audience enthralled by the glamor of superstars.

The curator’s notes next to the portraits, however, reveal a darker side to the apparent glitter.

The personal lives of many of the stars are often laden with misfortunes or are associated with such unhealthy habits as sexual or substance abuse, which in some cases lead to premature deaths. One can perhaps trace these tragedies to the great pressure or emptiness brought about by sudden fame, exposing the detachment of “public personalities” from reality. Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle’s story struck me as the best example of the fickleness of fame.

Once a well-loved silent comedian star, he was unjustly accused of manslaughter in the 1920s and his works were banned. Although he was eventually acquitted, his name became shrouded by the scandal, and his career waned.

Shooting Stars is indeed an appropriate title for the exhibit — fame and publicity are just like shooting stars, glamorous but short-lived. All in all, Shooting Stars is an inspiring and well-organized exhibit and definitely worth the Corcoran’s entrance fee.

I also highly recommend the gallery as a whole. The largest private art museum in Washington D.C., the gallery has a fine arrangement and exquisite interior design. Just a short walk from both Farragut West and Farragut North stations, the Corcoran Gallery is the ideal place to spend an afternoon.

2.15.13 | the guide | 15

bestbets

deserted — james calello

on campus

Black Movements Dance Theatre Friday and saturday, 8 p.m.

Davis Performing Arts Center

Georgetown’s Black Movements Dance Theatre will be showcasing their culturally diverse style this weekend at Gonda Theatre. Performing everything from tap to Afro-Jazz, the group will be dancing both student and professionally-choreographed works. You can purchase student tickets for $8 online or at the door.

skyfall Friday, saturday and sunday, 8 p.m.

ICC Auditorium

For the next three nights, the Georgetown Program Board will present the latest installment of the action-packed James Bond movie franchise, Skyfall. Starring Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem and Judi Dench, this fall’s blockbuster is sure to leave you on the edge of your seats and wanting more of 007.

Gala for St. AL’s saturday, 7 p.m.

Copley Formal Lounge

Dance the night away with the NHS Academic Council at their benefit for the St. Aloysius Gonzaga Secondary School in Nairobi, Kenya. Though the event is pricey — student tickets cost $45 and general admission in $55 — enjoy an evening of schmoozing, cocktails and good food, knowing that all the proceeds go to a worthy cause.

Kenan Thompson Comedy Show thursday, 7 p.m.

Gaston Hall

Experience the comedy you knew as a child from “Kenan and Kel” or that you now enjoy on “SNL” with a night of laughs from actor Kenan Thompson sponsored by the Georgetown Programming Board. The Georgetown Improv Association will open the show, and be sure to buy a ticket in Red Square — $10 with GOCard — before they sell out.

around town saturday

friday

sunday

See the first performance of Texas Is the Reason’s reunion tour at the Black Cat this weekend. An indie-punk band, their singles from the ’90s have influenced many of today’s emo-rock artists. The group is working on a new album and may debut some of their new music at this concert. If the music isn’t reason enough, experiencing this U Street club — a staple of D.C. nightlife — is definitely worth the journey.

Join Mystery Inc. in solving a new mystery at the Warner Theatre on 13th and E Streets. Relive your childhood memories of watching Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby tracking ghosts, goblins and ghouls in the brand new stage performance “Scooby Doo Live! Musical Mysteries.” Featuring many original songs and new characters, this musical promises to have you laughing all the way back to campus.

Want to learn to cook at some of D.C.’s best restaurants?

Travel to Barracks Row on Capitol Hill for the Culinary Education Crawl this Sunday. Cava, Lavagna, Ambar and many other culinary establishments and shops will be holding 21 cooking classes to teach locals their professional secrets. Stop by the marvelous Eastern Market before, during or after and pick up some fresh local goods.

WHERE: Black Cat WHEN: 9 p.m.

INFO: blackcatdc.com PRICE: $20 METRO: U Street

WHERE: Warner Theatre WHEN: 6 p.m.

INFO: warnertheatredc.com PRICE: $25 to $75 METRO: Metro Center

WHERE: Barracks Row WHEN: 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

INFO: barracksrow.com PRICE: $15 to $30 METRO: Eastern Market

CAITLIN DESANTIS & Emily Manbeck Hoya Staff Writers

COVER PHOTO by CHRIS BIEN