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Last-minute platforms at Myer Horowitz P. 3

Spelcheck lacking on the campain trial P. 8

Matthew McConnaissance P. 23

February February 26th, 26th, 2014 2014 Issue Issue No. No. 25 25 Volume Volume 104 104


March 6 & 7: the choice is yours Election Dissection

Varsity Teams

P. 13

Pos ter Slam P. 17


"Ring out a cheer for our Alberta!" Page 26

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March 5, 2014

From the archives This front page greeted students with SU election results 50 years ago. See archives at

streeters COMPILED AND PHOTOGRAPHED BY Andrea Ross + Christina Varvis

file photo

As you may have heard, it’s Roll up the Rim season at Tim Horton’s! WE ASKED...

What’s your dream prize?

Nolan Waters SCIENCE Ii “I’d buy lunch from Subway.”

Deanna Dombroski ARTs II “If I could win anything off Roll up the Rim, I would definitely want to go to China, because that’s what I’m studying and it’s just an absolutely fascinating country.”

Janelle Wilson open studites “Free coffee for a lifetime, but not from Tim Horton’s, because that’s nasty.”



Stuart Bildfel SCIENCE I “The ability to read minds. It’s gotta be a pretty magical Roll up the Rim cup.”

photo editor Kevin Schenk | 492.6648

visit us at

design & production editor Anthony Goertz | 492.6663

Wednesday, March 5, 2014 Volume 104 Issue No. 26

business staff

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editorial staff editor-in-chief Andrew Jeffrey | 492.5168 managing editor Alana Willerton | 492.6654 online editor Kate Black | 492.6652 news editor Michelle Mark | 492.7308 staff reporter Andrea Ross | 492.6664 opinion editor Darcy Ropchan | 492.6661 arts & culture editor Paige Gorsak | 492.7052 sports editor Atta Almasi | 248.1509 multimedia editor Katherine Speur

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contributors Kieran Chrysler, Sean Trayner, Alexandros Papavasiliou, Christina Varvis, Miguel Aranas, AmirAli Sharifi, Khojesta Rajabi, Brad Kennedy, Nicole Hammond, Karla Comanda, Victoria Stowe, Adrian Lahola-Chomiak, Joel Aspden, Jeremy Cherlet, Stephano Jun, Nikhil Shah, Michael Johnson, Cameron Lewis, Connor Bradley, Tyler Hein

news haiku Is it the future? Who won SU elections??? TELL ME. TELL ME PLZ

another news haiku Still not the future? Did we get more budget cuts??? GUYS I NEED TO KNOW



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Volume 104, Issue 26


News Editor Michelle Mark Phone 780.492.7308

Email Twitter @michelleamark

Volunteer News meetings Mondays at 3 p.m. in 3-04 SUB. C’mon by!

Candidates push last-minute points at Horowitz forum Andrea Ross

Staff Reporter @_rossandrea With two days to go until polls open, all 20 Students’ Union executive candidates were on hand to pitch their platforms and face audience questions at Monday’s forum in the Myer Horowitz theatre. Noon classes were cancelled for the hour-long event, and around 300 students arrived for the forum. Candidates were pressed for time with only two minutes each to discuss their platforms, followed by a question period from the audience. The University of Alberta Athletics Board’s Curtis Dell started off the forum by pushing for the proposed athletics and recreation fee increase, which voters will see on their ballots March 5 and 6.

“(We need) to get more people from the Students’ Union out there to the students, not just during the two weeks before elections, but throughout the entire year.” Patrick Cajina

Candidate, VP (Student Life)

“This money is not going towards teams … it’s going right back to the students,” he said. The U of A has one of the lowest athletics and recreation fee rates on any campus in Canada, Dell said, adding that an increased fee will cover improvements to recreation facilities on campus. As candidates took to the microphone, many opted not to repeat their platform points and instead focused on personal experiences at the university.

pressure points SU candidates in all races were put in the hot seat Monday for the annual Myer Horowitz forum. VP (Student Life) candidate Insung Peak said her experience as an international student has shaped her ideas for enhancing student life on campus. Fellow candidate Patrick Cajina said the position should represent all students and plans on focusing on student wellness and outreach if elected. “(We need) to get more people from the Students’ Union out there to the students, not just during the two weeks before elections, but

throughout the entire year,” he said. The theme of maximizing student potential translated to the VP (External) race, as Navneet Khinda focused on the importance of access to post-secondary education. “A university education is now a reflection of socio-economic divides for far too many of us, but we don’t have to settle for this,” she said. “I know that more people can benefit from and access post-secondary through smart policy.”

sean trayner

Dylan Hanwell cited his work ethic as something that will transfer to the position. “I put every ounce of effort I could muster into the campaign,” he said. “I worked so hard this last week and I hope it shows.” Audience questions pushed the forum beyond an hour and focused on regulating international fees, supporting student services, increasing access to summer jobs and the SU’s involvement in faculty associations.

VP (Operations & Finance) candidate Cory Hodgson won the crowd over with plenty of Legend of Zelda references in his platform pitch, and addressed his first-ever audience question about his priorities if elected. “My most important goal would be setting up the SU to think longterm about its businesses,” he said. “I’d absolutely love to have something about long-term growth in our businesses in our SU strategic plan.” Presidential candidate Bashir Mohamed was quick to take to the microphone to answer questions about regulating international student fees, and the most and least important aspects of the position. Mohamed cited passion and fresh ideas as major assets of a president. “I think the thing that least matters to me is experience, we all have experience,” he said. “We all run on the same principles, it just depends on our ideas.” Mohamed mentioned “sass” as being another least important factor after the audience member interrupted to remind Mohamed he only asked for one example each. William Lau mentioned students and their ideas as being most important, and said his commitments outside the SU would be least important. Calling it a “planted question,” Adam Woods said the president should be willing and able to encourage and support their coworkers, and offered an alternative response to the second part of the question. “As for least important thing, there is no least important thing,” he said. “As president, you better be taking it damn seriously.” Voting will take place March 5 and 6. Students can vote online at www.

Synthetic drug use and “legal highs” on the rise across country Andrew Jeffrey

editor-in-chief @andrew_jeffrey Inspired by a number of drug-related deaths in the local news four to five years ago, a team of researchers at the U of A have released a paper covering the research they’ve conducted about a rising trend of recreational drug use and its production across the country. This study analyzed the rising trend of synthetic drug use in Canada, as the country’s production and export of these commodities have grown in the past two decades. Mainstays of this growing recreational drug scene are party pills like ecstasy, as well as synthetic cannabis and a number of other new drugs introduced to Canada that are not yet regulated and therefore called “legal highs.” U of A pharmacologist Alan Hudson was one of the co-authors of the paper and has been studying the effects of psychoactive drugs on the human mind for years. The purpose of the paper was to raise public awareness of the dangers of so-called “legal highs.” “I’ve seen them termed “herbal highs,” so (people using these drugs)

think they’re safe. (But) you can get packets of synthetic cannabis and it’s really quite harsh. You get a harsh high,” Hudson said. “There was a couple of school children in St. Albert last September who were hospitalized after smoking K2, because these synthetic forms of marijuana are really quite strong. So if you’re not used to smoking cannabis, if you go to the synthetics, it really gives you quite a kick.” According to Hudson, one of the biggest problems affecting regulation of these legal highs is that as soon as one type of drug is criminalized, another type of high is produced or shipped in to take its place, making it difficult for legislation to keep up with what’s on the market. Hudson has been working with Edmonton Police Services to inform them about what he finds in his research that could be the next popular legal high in the city. In return, EPS can supply Hudson with drug samples taken from amnesty bins, which are analyzed to find out what kinds of contaminants are being found in the synthetic drugs, and what’s currently popular in Edmonton. Certain websites exist as well that

sell both tested and untested drugs side by side, making these legal highs that have yet to be regulated, easily accessible. But many of which have levels of toxicity that have yet to be tested. “You shouldn’t mess with the legal highs. You can buy them on the internet, it’s really easy to buy these things,” Hudson said. “(But) you don’t really know what’s in the pills, you don’t know what you’re buying, you don’t know how pure they are, and they haven’t been tested in humans or animals, so the potential long-term effects of these legal highs could be very serious.” These legal highs have turned up in Edmonton, Hudson believes, as people seek a cleaner substitute for ecstasy. Many of these new drugs shipped into Edmonton are called “herbal highs” and believed to be pure and less harmful, but the reality is that the level of toxicity in these unregulated drugs is often unknown, making it unclear how much can be taken before overdosing. The effects can be quite dangerous as unknown contaminants in ecstasy pills and untested legal highs make people more susceptible to

don’t do drugs Researchers say the dangers of synthetic drugs is very real these drugs’ toxic qualities without their realizing it. “For ecstasy, your body could overheat and in a short period of time you get hypothermia, muscle cramps, you’ll faint and need immediate medical help or else your body will start to burn up, muscles break down, brain swelling,” Hudson said.


“For other legal highs, the first serious side effect is to have a fit, as if you have epilepsy.” The next step for Hudson and his fellow researchers is to seek more funding to continue analyzing drugs found in Edmonton, while pushing for new drugs to be tested for their toxic qualities to be identified.

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March 5, 2014



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Volume 104, Issue 26

safety in numbers Safewalk volunteers can now accompany students who have been drinking.

news brief compiled by Kieran Chrysler Safewalk adopts new policy

Safewalk will now allow volunteers to walk with students who have been drinking, but not to excess, thanks to a new policy change that took effect Feb. 25. Run by the Students’ Union, the free service provides University of Alberta students with two volunteers to walk them to their homes, vehicles or public transportation — so long as the destination is within boundaries or within five blocks of any LRT station. Safewalk previously wouldn’t pick up clients who had been drinking, which could have put casual drinkers in potentially unsafe situations, according to Safewalk director Cody

Bondarchuk. “The creation of this policy change was from someone who was saying that it’s not fair if someone is at RATT or Dewey’s with friends and has a couple drinks, but they have a midterm the next day so have to walk home early,” he said. “It’s really not fair to force them to walk home alone if they’re not comfortable with that just because they’ve been drinking.” Bondarchuk said the policy changes are being pushed to encourage students to partake in safe partying and smart drinking practices, along with a safe way to get home afterwards. Since Safewalk is volunteerdriven, walks will be given to students who have been drinking at the volunteers’ discretion. If a client is too intoxicated for volunteers to feel comfortable walking with, the volunteers will contact University

Alexandros papavasiliou

of Alberta Protective Services to ensure the situation is dealt with safely and appropriately. Safewalk volunteers have been given increased training as a result of the policy change. Bondarchuk noted that while intoxication can present new challenges for volunteers, the policy change has covered them. “Over the summer I met with the Students Union Insurance Policy as well as different departments that have interest in it,” he said. “We looked at all the risks, mitigated them to the best of our abilities, so I don’t think it poses an additional risk to the volunteers, considering they will be adequately trained using AGLC’s liquor training.” Safewalk boundaries will remain the same with these policy changes. The service will now run Tuesdays through Fridays.

Leadership College talks reach accord Michelle Mark

news editor @michelleamark The Students’ Union and the University of Alberta administration have finally reached common ground in the ongoing discussions surrounding the Peter Lougheed Leadership College. SU President Petros Kusmu said the university recently agreed to several conditions, including endeavouring to incorporate student input in future plans and ensuring that students who live in the residence aren’t given exclusive leadership programming. All students on campus will have equal opportunity to access the programming offered by the Leadership College, regardless of whether or not they live in the residence, and the administration has committed to the goal of having the college directly impact at least one third of the undergraduate population. The leadership residence will be largely separated from the Leadership College, which will act instead as a broader umbrella for leadership programming on campus — the plans for which have yet to be finalized. The designs for the residence, however, are on a speedier timeline and are scheduled to go to the Board of Governors for approval on March 14.

The agreements come after several months of discussions and controversy surrounding the plans for the Leadership College. One of the original, heavily criticized proposals detailed a 144-person residence where residents would have exclusive access to much of the leadership programming offered. But Kusmu said the administration recently started being receptive to concerns students raised. “I think the academy as a whole has reclaimed a large part of the conversation when it comes to the Peter Lougheed Leadership College — over time, at least,” he said. “This is going to resolve most, if not all, of the contentions that students have with the Peter Lougheed Leadership College, and that way we can move forward and actually shape what this program or what this college is going to look like.” Kusmu said Students’ Council is largely to thank for the progress made. Discussions and presentations regarding the Leadership College have been forefront topics throughout the past several meetings. “They’ve been hyper-involved with the advocacy,” he said. “Councillors solicited feedback from their consitutents and communicated to us, so they’ve been playing a very active role in making

sure that this issue is alive and that it gets resolved.” Kusmu said the SU’s concerns aren’t entirely alleviated — they still believe a better vision for the college should be in place before starting work on the residence — but the newly reached agreements are a relief for both parties. Martin Ferguson-Pell, the Senior Advisor to the President, said the administration is pleased to have reached common ground with the SU. “(We) look forward to working together to create new, transformative programming and engagement opportunities that inspire our students to learn about leadership and prepare them to assume a wide range of responsible roles throughout their careers,” he said. The province and wider community have also begun to take interest in the project. Monday’s Speech from the Throne briefly mentioned that the government will fund the Peter Lougheed Leadership Initiative, the overarching collaboration between the U of A and the Banff Centre. “To further set our future leaders up for success, your government will fund the creation of the Lougheed Leadership Institute, working with the University of Alberta and the Banff Centre,” the speech said.

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March 5, 2014

UAlberta team shoots for stars with new satellite project Andrea Ross

can remember, and is looking forward to launching the first satellite built in Alberta. “This is probably the biggest project I’ve ever been involved with,” he said.

staff reporter @_rossandrea A team of 60 University of Alberta students are using an online fundraising initiative to help launch an out-of-this-world idea. Led by U of A physics professor Ian Mann, the team is hoping to launch the first Alberta-made satellite next year and are using fundraising through crowdfunding to raise the $60,000 needed to fund the project. Crowdfunding allows for large groups of people to contribute money to fund campus projects. The U of A is the first post-secondary institution in Canada to crowdfund through USEED, an organization aimed at supporting campus projects through online fundraising.

“In a way, we’re asking people to come and explore space with us by making this contribution, and we’re looking to give something back in return.” Ian Mann

physics professor, university of alberta

“This is probably the biggest project I’ve ever been involved with.” collin cupido

student, university of alberta

Mann said the fundraising effort offers donors a unique way of participating in space technology and enabling a space mission to succeed. The team has $15,000 raised in the two weeks since launching the campaign and each $100 donation buys a chip on the satellite engraved with the donor’s name. “In a way, we’re asking people to come and explore space with us by making this contribution, and we’re looking to give something back in return,” he said. “Where else can you have the opportunity to be involved so closely in a space mission? “We’ve taken the steps to reach out to partners who we hope are

shooting for space A U of A team is crowdfunding to raise $60,000 to fund the satellite project. going to help us through donations from the crowdsourcing platform.” The satellite is expected to launch in Brazil in early 2016 and dozens of faculty staff are overseeing the development of the spacecraft alongside the 60 undergraduate and graduate students. The team has already passed a preliminary design review and expects to start building

the satellite in the fall. The $15,000 raised is enough to cover the deposit for the spacecraft, Mann said, but the team is looking to raise $45,000 through crowdsourcing in the next 12 months to cover the costs of building and registering the satellite as a space object, and covering the launch fee. The team has received support

illustration: supplied

through the university from the Shell Enhanced Learning Fund, sponsored by the Shell oil company. Mann said they have also submitted a $250,000 proposal to the Canadian Space Agency to support the development of the program. Fourth-year astrophysics student Collin Cupido said he has been interested in space for as long as he

Cupido is one of the students in charge of overseeing the design and construction of the satellite, a process he simplified as “…making sure that we’re not trying to fit square pegs into round holes.” He said he’s happy with the money raised so far through crowdfunding and expects the momentum to continue. “It’s been really good, astounding almost, how much interest there is considering the rather large donation that one needs to get their name on this satellite,” he said. Mann said the satellite will orbit for three months at low altitude before burning up in the earth’s atmosphere. It’s an ambitious project, and one that has the opportunity to give the U of A some serious space recognition, he added. “(It’s) one small step for the U of A and maybe one giant leap for the province of Alberta,” he said.



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Volume 104, Issue 26

Int’l students a hot topic in first SUBstage forum Michelle Mark

Patrick Cajina said the first step is ensuring the International Students’ Association gets up and running. “If that’s not already in the works and completed by the time I take office, then I’ll work with the relevant parties in order to make sure that’s a reality here on campus,” he said. As international students themselves, both Insung Peak and Parjanya Joshi mentioned the importance of bringing together international student groups and increasing advocacy efforts. Fabian Gonzalez gave no concrete steps, but said he wants to change domestic students’ attitudes towards international students.

news editor @michelleamark Candidates for the Students’ Union elections questioned one another on platform points and international students’ support in the first of two SUBstage forums Thursday, which presented half the competing races. The five Vice-President (Student Life) candidates, Nicholas Diaz, Patrick Cajina, Insung Peak, Fabian Gonzalez and Parjanya Joshi, discussed the impending International Students’ Association and overall student engagement. Presidential candidates Adam Woods, William Lau, Bashir Mohamed and Doge, however, questioned one another more specifically on the pros and cons of their platforms.

“If (the International Students’ Association) isn’t already in the works and completed by the time I take office, then I’ll ... make sure that’s a reality here on campus.”

“When I first joined the Students’ Union, I didn’t know it could do a lot of the things I was frustrated about with the university.”

Patrick Cajina

candidate, vice-president (student life)

bashir mohamed

candidate, students’ union president

Cory Hodgson, the uncontested VP (Operations & Finance) candidate, spoke briefly on increasing the amount of food options the SU offers on campus. He asked the audience if they knew of and liked Aramark, and recieved a loud chorus of boos in response. Each candidate was given time to present a short speech to the audience and ask their opponents a question. Audience questions were taken at the end.

substage soliloquies VP (OpsFi) candidate Cory Hodgson pitched his platform points at the SUBstage forum last week. Woods questioned his opponents on the importance of having a plan before deciding to run for President, rather than after. He encouraged attendees to visit candidates’ websites and Facebook pages to inform themselves before voting. “I can tell this question is directed at me,” Lau responded. “A few students were asking me earlier on this week, ‘Where can I find your platform?’ And I would like to stress

the importance of empowering your staff in an organization. “For me, to really fully empower my staff members ... it was most important for me to give them the ‘whys’ and give them the intent behind my plans.” Mohamed replied by noting that his own platform includes specific sections entitled “metrics for success” to ensure each of his goals is accomplished.

kevin schenk

“When I first joined the Students’ Union, I didn’t know it could do a lot of the things I was frustrated about with the university. That’s why I published my full platform and I split it into three sections: the problem, what we should do and how we will measure my success,” he said. VP (Student Life) candidate Nicholas Diaz asked his opponents to articulate concrete steps for supporting international students.

“The main thing we need to do is remove the ‘international’ from ‘international students.’ To realize that we are all one. That we’re all the same,” he said. Diaz noted the importance of speaking with international students rather than for them. He said he hopes to work with the VP (External) on the international differential fee by implementing a grandfather clause to ensure more predictable tuition increases and eventually regulating the IDF through the PostSecondary Learning Act.

Candidates’ experience comes under fire in SUBstage forum #2 Michelle Mark

news editor @michelleamark Candidates’ qualifications, experience and portfolio knowledge were all up for debate during Friday’s SUBstage forum, which featured candidates for the VP (External), VP (Academic) and Board of Governors Representative races, along with the “yes” side for the Athletics and Recreation Fee Plebiscite.

“Mental health issues affect students in different faculties differently.” kathryn orydzuk

candidate, vice-president (Academic)

VP (External) candidates grilled one another on their experience and political connections. Dylan Hanwell played up his experience interning in the Deputy Premier’s office during the summer, noting that the relationships between legislators are intricate and tightly knit. He said he could easily take advantage of those relationships to ensure the best outcome for students. Navneet Khinda, however, brought up her research experience for the Council of Alberta University Students, as well as organizing and leading a student group teaching students how to effectively lobby and write policy. She also pointed out her experience leading a grassroots vote mob during the federal election. Thomas Dang said although he hasn’t been on campus for long, he’s gained experience through his fraternity and managed to network

with politicians friendly to student issues, such as MP Linda Duncan. VP (Academic) candidates debated topics from increasing access to education for non-traditional students, to how to best utilize Discover Governance, to which committee each candidate is most looking forward to sitting on. Fahim Rahman asked his opponents about the role of the VP (Academic) in supporting students’ mental health. Kathryn Orydzuk and Stephanie Gruhlke emphasized the importance of crafting faculty-specific approaches to students’ mental health. Orydzuk said she would through the Council of Faculty Associations, while Gruhlke said she would focus on increasing services for international students. “Mental health issues affect students in different faculties differently, and I do believe that the faculty associations and the student representatives on those are the key to knowing what the best ways to handle issues in each faculty are,” Orydzuk said. Nisha Patel, on the other hand, discussed the need for a transparent work deferral process, along with increasing peer mentorship and language-based services for international students. Rebeka Plots said the Peer Support Centre should be expanded, with more advertisement via posters, tabling and SUTV. At the end, Rahman noted that many of his opponents’ answers detailed programming support, which actually falls into the VP (Student Life) portfolio. Rahman said he plans to work on deferral policies for students with spiritual and mental health issues.

candid candidates SU hopefuls waited for their chance to present their platforms and cross-examine their opponents. Candidates for the BoG Rep race discussed building relationships on the board and how to best yield tangible results. Hansra asked Farooq which two BoG committees he would choose to sit on, but Farooq was unable to name any specific committees. Hansra said he would sit on the Board Finance annd Property Committee, as well as the Board Learning and Discovery Committee.

“I am a new candidate. I am one of the youngest people to ever be a candidate for the Board of Governors,” Farooq replied. “Two things I would sit on the Board of Governors (for) would be those that deal with appeals to the policies being made ... as well as those that connect the Board of Governors to student groups.” An audience member questioned

kevin schenk

Curtis Dell, the representative for the “yes” side of the Athletics and Recreation Fee Plebiscite, on why students who don’t watch or participate in sports on campus should vote for the fee increase. Dell responded that the consequences of not passing the fee will result in a program reduction, less space and limited facilities, which he said are currently overcapacity.




Opinion Editor Darcy Ropchan Phone 780.492.6661

March 5, 2014

Email Twitter @drropcha

Volunteer Opinion meetings Thursdays at 4 p.m. in 3-04 SUB. C’mon by!

editorial comment

SU presidential platforms reveal telling weaknesses Students’ Union elections are a great time to bask in fontrum. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, fontrum is that uncomfortable embarrassment you feel for someone who isn’t clued in enough to feel embarrassed for themselves. For example: “When that candidate got called out for texting during a forum, fontrum washed over my body and I cringed so hard I could see The Lord.” But there’s something lurking in the online platforms of this year’s presidential candidates that trumps other embarrassing campaign blunders. And yes, it’s something even more embarrassing than the fact that I read the presidential candidates’ platforms cover-to-cover. Two of the candidates’ platforms are rife with grammatical and spelling errors. Needless to say, this is a disappointing discovery to be made in Bashir Mohamed and Adam Woods’ campaigns for the most influential role in the highest body of student governance. Just as a sample, Mohamed recognizes that “International Students’ are a valued asset to the University of Alberta” and that “International Students issues have traditionally fallen by the wayside.” These are astute observations coming from a student, but perhaps the argument would’ve made more sense if he used his possessives properly and didn’t shroud them in countless comma splices. More jarring is Woods’ misuse of the word “their” not once, but twice, on a single page — page seven, if you don’t believe it. This mistake is punctuated by a smattering of missing compound adjectives and confusingly capitalized buzzwords like “Innovation” and “Administrative,” all drowning in clunky sentences you can almost too-realistically imagine Woods saying aloud. In contrast, the third candidate, William Lau presents a nearly frustratingly clean platform, unless small fonts and Oxford commas really grind your gears. Lau’s platform is also considerably less text-heavy than his competitors’, to be fair. Obviously I’m nitpicking here — but not without reason. As hilarious as it is to point out the clear grammatical mistakes in two of our forerunning candidates, their communication blunders highlight a slightly more troubling point of this year’s presidential election. These candidates each have dozens of volunteers, and it would be reasonable to assume that they could have at least asked a friend to look over the platform before posting it for the entire student body to see. If the candidates failed to properly proofread their written debut in front of the entire student body, it’s worrisome to think what they would let slide in an email to an important political figure or university administrator. Disparities in primary and secondary educational backgrounds between the candidates aside, the Students’ Union president is a representative of the student body as a whole, those with basic grammar skills included. It would be a shame for the Students’ Union’s respectability to be diminished and the student body to miss out on potential gains from external contacts due to continued misplaced “theirs” in an email — mistakes acceptable in text messages between friends, but not in formal communication documents. Even if these deviations from the English language aim to challenge the “status quo,” candidates should choose a different medium to more effectively channel their efforts. And though the sentences are still readable despite their errors, they nevertheless leave a bad taste in the reader’s mouth and mar the professionalism of the candidates. But these blunders merely act as a reflection of the candidates’ campaign strategies. If you remember his VP (Student Life) campaign last year, or have paid any attention to his current efforts, one thing about Lau is clear: he knows how to brand himself. The wisely rented scooter and the identifiable posters, though seemingly trivial, largely make up for his lack of clear arguments to issues Woods or Mohamed present, as we’ve seen Lau more or less agreeing with his competitors in a handful of forums. In Students’ Union elections, where the campaign trail is short, everything counts. And unfortunately, a recognizable icon on a poster and a buzzword platform may resonate more strongly with distracted students than a clear and well-articulated verbal argument in a poorly attended forum. Making an honest effort in spellchecking and creating a presentable platform is just an extension of the campaign plan that could feasibly win Lau this election. A handful of minimal though cringeworthy spelling mistakes don’t lessen the leadership potential of Mohamed and Woods. Especially after watching the two candidates both construct convincing arguments in live forums, it’s clear they are both highly capable in verbal argumentative and communicative skills — debatably even more so than Lau. Ultimately, we can only hope that no matter who takes home the title on Thursday, the elected candidate takes their communication materials more seriously when in office.

Kate Black online editor

Edtoon credit

letters to the editor Lau doesn’t answer the questions properly (Re: “Three candidates and a dog lay claim to President,” Michelle Mark, Feb. 26) Unfortunately, William Lau’s responses left me with more questions and concerns than answers. When asked to criticize something the current President did this year, you only say that he should’ve run again. I agree that he did a good job, but nobody is perfect. You can’t come up with even one thing that he could’ve done better? Every good leader knows how to offer up criticism in a thoughtful and constructive way, especially considering that in the previous question you say that students “appreciate a Students’ Union that works more like I did.” There is a clear discrepancy between these two answers, and yet you do not offer up any real answers to solve this. Moving on… In question 3 you were asked about how you will make sure students’ concerns are heard by the university and government. Your response to “have a conversation with the student body” mentions nothing about how you will relay your findings to the university and government. You do not even answer the question appropriately. As for having the SU be “more inward facing,” I am concerned that by doing this you are cutting the SU off from really valuable connections that they have worked hard to establish this past year in difficult times amongst budget cuts and tuition increases. Communication is so important and you cannot leave

this to one person. You would be the head of an organization and as such, would be expected to represent the SU along with the VPX at many conferences and meetings on behalf of students. Kusmu and Woods did some of this together last year with other SU leaders. Your answer shows a lack of awareness of both positions as well as a disorganized future for the SU. I envision you bunkering up with a hot plate and Campbell’s soup to feed you and the other VPs and sending the VPX out occasionally to deliver messages to the media. That’s alarming. Anyone who knows anything about the relationship between the SU and the university over the past few years know that “pretty good” is not at all an appropriate description of this relationship. This is a disillusioned answer. A good leader needs to be honest. How come you said this? To seem optimistic? Is it a lie? Do you really not know? Did you miss some meetings? I read this answer and was truly shocked that you would say this! I was looking forward to your honest answer on this, since you are one of a handful of people on the SU side that should know exactly the state of the relationship currently. You do not answer question number 5 at all. I have no idea how you plan to manage your goals with the goals of your VPs. Nothing about balance, prioritize, compromise, consensus, or other words along those lines. To add salt to the wound, your platform points are underdeveloped and vague. I am trying to find more information on your points but am unable to. There is no substance to your platform. I guess by the end I was not surprised

that you chose Friends as the cast for your VP team. You seem more focused on making everyone happy than setting and accomplishing actual goals. As a voter looking to educate myself, I am looking for well-formulated points and was greatly disappointed with your responses.

Katie M Via web

You’re doing the meme wrong (Re: “Three candidates and a dog lay claim to President,” Michelle Mark, Feb. 26) My first comment is directed at the fourth candidate, which happens to be a dog. If you’re going to parody a meme, at least try to do it right. My second comment is the following: as much as I don’t like saying this, the most concise, cohesive and consistent platform seems to be that of Adam Woods. He’s been in the SU for a while and his priorities (to represent the student body to the government) seem pretty well thought out. I feel that maybe he’s not focusing much on student life but that wouldn’t be his job as president. If he can manage a group of people and we elect some other decent candidates to help us have fun AND pursue our academics, next year will be fine.

Lindsay via web




opinion 9

Volume 104, Issue 26

Fat acceptance is quite unhealthy Proper arguing is a lost art Jeremy Cherlet

Michael Chmielewski

There are many figurative wars going on right now. There’s a war on drugs, a perceived war on science and there’s been a constant war on obesity. Most of these wars seem to be either failing government campaigns or media hyperbole, but a certain movement, known as Health at Every Size (HAES) has proudly declared that the war on obesity has been lost, and that it’s time for society to change. Judging by the fact that more than 35.7 per cent of American adults are obese, obesity certainly has won the war. However, acknowledging that obesity and being overweight is in any way appropriate and healthy is not only disingenuous, but also irresponsible. Body image is a touchy topic, but when we live in a culture where many examples of body image come from digitally embellished and altered publications and films, there’s a problem. That said, the HAES message has been taken up by many of its fervent disciples as part of a mission to end weight bigotry and promote the idea that even morbidly obese people should be accepted as healthy. Now, I in no way claim to speak from any sort of medical expertise or have any sort of medical knowledge, but it’s not a stretch to infer that anyone who has mobility issues due to their weight is unhealthy. According to the Harvard School of Public Health website, at its most basic level, obesity is caused when one ingests more calories than they burn off. Although a plethora of factors determine someone’s health, poor diet and inactivity are often the main factors at play here. There’s no perfect body shape, and there’s plenty of evidence to show that someone can carry some extra weight or have a higher body fat percentage and be very healthy and in excellent physical condition. But

Arguments, as in intellectual debates, are something to be cherished. They should be engaged in actively, especially in a university setting. Of course, there are certain rules of etiquette concerning argumentation. This etiquette is mostly just avoiding “fallacies,” or things that weaken an argument. One of the most abused fallacies is ad hominem, where rather than dealing with what someone is saying, or the merits of their argument, their personality or character is attacked. In my last three years at university, I’ve noticed this sort of fallacy is increasing. Ad hominem attacks have been around since people could speak, so it’s nothing new, but it’s no matter if it’s increasing or it’s always been around, it’s important to qualify something. The debates where this takes place usually occur on comment sections or Facebook, because most people aren’t brave enough to insult someone to their face. The ad hominem I’ve noticed increasing is a kind that’s surprisingly mostly on the left of the spectrum amongst students. So hardened in their wide-eyed beliefs, they usually don’t actually tackle the merit of the argument, usually trying to dismiss it by attacking someone’s character, saying they know nothing, or that because of their background, their argument is invalid. Even if the other argument has no merit, it would make more sense to dismantle the argument, not the person saying it. Otherwise, an attempt at ad hominem is just a distraction method — smoke and mirrors. Of course, this is a specific group amongst the left, and not everybody. That’d be a generalization, which is also fallacious. I’d also like to point out that the right of the spectrum does it too. Ad hominem is found

opinion staff

The Carillon


allowing anyone, especially young children, to believe that certain body shapes — sometimes resulting from disease or medical conditions, but also often coming from over-consumption and lethargy — are healthy is both disingenuous and irresponsible. At one time, smoking, which is now largely considered to be an unhealthy behaviour, was widely accepted; this was only curtailed when it became not only socially unacceptable in many places, but also more highly taxed and regulated do to the health risks of smoking. Perhaps there will be a point when obesity is viewed in the same light. The HAES message essentially says that it’s not only fine to be in a very unhealthy condition, but that this is also to be celebrated. As long as this message is spread,


we will see many negative health consequences in our society. The plethora of weight loss tricks, medications and programs that are currently available are a staggering testament to the fact that most people will do or spend whatever it takes to get thin — even though many fad and crash diets can have detrimental affects on your health as well. While a message such as HAES’ could probably be better adopted into something that promotes healthy at many sizes, to promote positive body images, it currently serves the purpose of making people feel fine with their unhealthy choices. This is in no way promoting fat shaming, but messages such as HAES which can promote unhealthful behaviours and habits shouldn’t be spread, and doing so is blatantly irresponsible.

amongst all kinds of debaters. One example I recently saw: “You can’t understand because you’re a man, and you can’t talk about it,” or “They’re just a bunch of white guys.” These are two that come to mind quickly that I’ve heard recently. They could be anything, really, and it’s usually formulaic. You’re X, so you can’t talk about Y. Once, after asking persistent gadfly-like questions to someone starting a petition that couldn’t answer them, I was told, “This is why you don’t have a girlfriend.” It’s baseless, and it’s meant to distract and sidetrack the debate from the real issues. These sorts of characterizations do no service to their cause: they alienate people and they’re a sign of weak argumentation; if someone is so right, then they shouldn’t have to resort to this tactic. If the opponent is so wrong, then one can attack the merits of their arguments. It doesn’t matter who’s saying it, the strength of an argument shouldn’t hinge on the who, but rather the what. Also, if someone is so sure that someone’s opponent is wrong because of their character, then it should actually be easy to tear their argument apart without resulting to insults. Right? Don’t ever let someone try to attack your character in an argument. If you’re so wrong because of who you are, then your opponent should be smart enough to see it in your argument. Otherwise, chances are they can’t defend their point adequately and are trying to discredit you to save themselves the embarrassment. Also, if you do resort to ad hominem, please stop. You’re doing no service to anybody, and should take more pride in your convictions. Nothing will be gained from attacking someone’s personality, and listening to other people’s points of view may help you to strengthen your own or even change them. If your arguments are so correct, then you have nothing to worry about. Plus, beating someone on point of fact is much more satisfying than dragging the debate, and everyone in it, through the mud.

three lines free

Got something that you need to get off your mind? Either email us at, tweet @threelinesfree or message us at There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged . One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs. Who is John Galt? If you use one ply toilet paper on your asshole I assume you don’t love yourself Praise the one true Lord Helix! Buttlopsia Crack, freebased cocaine Can be smoked, short intense high, Better profit drug My new hero is the guy in Tory brewing coffee from a Keurig (spelling/ trademark) machine that he has set up IN HIS LOCKER!!! He’s my hero too Butts Clitoroti Hey You, there Sup?

I’m so glad you came out, and I’m ecstatic you’re comfortable with who you are. Now maybe seeing this, you’ll finally work up the courage to ask me out, like I suspect you want to...^^ Hint: My answer’s yes. (sun hat emoji) I’m so scatter brained today Metaphysical powers are attributed to the winning horse It certainly took you long enough to figure out dumb ass. That hurts. It really does. Missed connection: You had red hair, rainbow mittens, and a book on Munich. Middle of the night sex is the best. I hate you I HATE EVERYONE. GET OUT OF MY WAY. If you’re walking slowly in HUB, I will push by you. Sorry ‘bout it, don’t take things so personally They deserve it Some people stay in your life, and some people leave. Don’t be so offended. Sometimes I do something so stupid that it’s amazing that I can still breath. Like, seriously

I’m so over it all I memorize lists of things by creating dirty anagrams. Good trick Missed Connection: My own existence. Darcy Ropchan, you’ve been referred to as “the funny one.” Is that reputation justified? Yes, yes it is. Can someone please tell SubPrint that they’re using the doge meme wrong? They’re not the ones doing it. ant brains Extensive collection of bird feces. You all tell the coolest stories dat ice. James disapproving face James head nod James NO! Just call me the unofficial HUB booty checker-outer Academics suck and then you are one One definition of failure is just “succeeding at things that do not matter” Cums bhutts

I don’t think that we can be pleased with this. We have waited for a long time. Tombstone donairs are the shit. I fucking love em. It’s been a terrible year here and I just want it to end. This sandwich rocks, my tadpoles seem crude by comparison Twitchplayspokemon. Its been fun. All hail the one true god Helix! I miss you..... kinda I’m going to touch myself when I get home from here. When I get depressive I start cleaning my room. frenelum When I get depressive I start cleaning my room Good luck with that, pal. You’re a better man than I. Thank you to the girls that attempted to be my Valentine in the study area near Cookies By George.I am there on Sundays after 3pm, my initials are AR and I have a friendly disposition.Any girl wanna dance with me on St Patricks Day? sad umph

Liar Eric sold Rob Ford his first hit. WANNA KNOW WHY STUDENTS DONT VOTE? Cause all the candidates are catty whiners on facebook So edgy, so brave Relief can be yours. Put your penis, online. Okay who’s ready for the ficlet challenge? First you oh god I’m sawing my own hands off And you shall know the day of reckoning has come to fruition when the sword of the Tom Hanks is dragged, bloody and dripping, from the breast of the new lord, Bill Murray. Though he shall come again, in this age he shall have smiled his last upon the sun. Sometimes I’ll look up from my computer during class and catch people looking at me. I then try to figure out if I’ve just been thinking my thoughts or if I’ve started absentmindedly saying them out loud You’re one creepy motherfucker. The Gateway reserves the right to refuse publication of any 3LF submission it deems racist, sexist, libellous or homophobic.

opinion 10



March 5, 2014

Campaign promises we’re sick and tired of hearing mean anything anymore. Whenever a candidate says that they want to explore something, they’re basically saying they’ll think about or conduct research on whatever issue they’re pushing — well, that isn’t good enough for me. When a candidate says they’ll explore an issue, it means they won’t actually do anything about it — they just want you to think they are. When you think about it, you can explore a lot of things. I’m exploring the possibility of buying a Ferrari. I’m not going to because I can’t afford it, but I’m definitely exploring the possibility of it. But that possibility means absolutely nothing. Next time a candidate says they want to explore something, tell them that you don’t want something explored — you want it found.

Opinion Staff

group commentary Students’ Union election season is in full swing and students are being bombarded with empty promises. To help you sort through the bullshit, The Gateway has compiled a list of the most useless SU campaign phrases.

Adrian Lahola-Chomiak Communication is one of those vague, meaningless words candidates use to pad their posters and appear in touch with the student body. People think communication is important, and in the real world, it is. But give that word to a potential SU executive that’s campaigning and it becomes a hollow shell of its former self. Every year, candidates claim they’ll enhance, increase or facilitate communication, and every year all we get is a flurry of emails as their attempt to deliver. The problem is the promise to communicate with students can’t be realized in any meaningful way. Students aren’t some homogenous group you can effectively address directly, and getting useful responses is impossible. The average student’s experience of communicating with the Students’ Union is pressing, “Mark all as read” above their inbox. Candidates that promise better communication never have an actual plan to improve this situation. It would be as useful to voters as having a small “insert feel-good message” line in its place. It doesn’t matter which race the candidate is in, the promise to communicate something is meaningless. Communication becomes an empty word in election campaigns. It’s a generic way to give voters the impression you care with the convenience of not having any concrete promises of action.

Joel Aspden If you want my vote, don’t just tell me to “believe” in something — prove your point. If you’re campaigning to have me join some kind of pseudo-religious cult, then

Worst presidential race ever (Re: “Three candidates and a dog lay claim to President,” Michelle Mark, Feb. 26) This is my fourth year at the university, and this is surely the weakest presidential race I’ve seen. All the candidates failed to communicate their points or platform effectively. Hopefully they’ll have better luck communicating at the forums... Or else this will be yet another election won solely on popularity — yay.


via web

Andrew Jeffrey

Same old stuff Students hear the same meaningless phrases year after year.. maybe I can understand your tactics by telling me to “believe.” But, if you’re not trying to brainwash me, then I’d recommend pulling out some well-supported opinions instead. The only thing you really need me to believe in is that your campaign promises aren’t going to deflate as soon as you get elected. I need to believe that you’re less of a hack than the other guy, and, unfortunately, just straight up telling me to “believe” isn’t going to win me over. Admittedly, it’s a pretty word, which is why it’s worked wonders for politicians trying to wrangle sheep-minded voters across the globe. But the university, despite having its fair share of sheep, is an academic setting. Voting students are going to be a little more critical of cheap, overused slogans. We need to hear

(Re: “Candidates push last-minute platform points at Myer Horowitz forum,” Andrea Ross, Mar. 3) If the A&R fee isn’t going towards teams, what is the money going towards athletics actually going to go towards?


via web

Jeremy Cherlet To tell you the truth, I’m sick of everything SU candidates have to say. Everyone who’s running to be a Students’ Union executive seems to be interested in having a conversation with you or in promoting dialogue. But I’ve never actually had a conversation with anyone involved with the SU that lasted longer than “vote for me” followed up with “why?” Most other interactions couldn’t be considered conversation or dialogue; those imply that something is actually going both ways. Perhaps it would be easier to have a conversation with an SU candidate if you had something to say that they wanted to hear, along the lines of, “I think you’re a great candidate and I’ll definitely vote for you. Also the SU is highly

relevant and important.” While every SU candidate really likes to tell you how much they value your input and how many conversations they’ll be having with you, these conversations generally seem to stop whenever there are questions about the usefulness of giving a whole bunch of money to lawyers. Now, I assume that someone on the SU executive will one day want to have an actual conversation with students, instead of sending out emails, blogging or doing whatever else passes for twoway dialogue. But until that day, you’ll probably have a better conversation talking to yourself the next time you’re on the toilet.

Darcy Ropchan The word I’m most tired of hearing during the Students’ Union elections is “explore.” It’s such a vague and uncommitted word that it doesn’t

I’m responding to you from the archives about your appearance and not about what you People should be better said behaved in the stands

necessity of employing police to beat students about the head.

(Re: “Microaggression a stupid concept,” Tyler Hein, Feb. 26) It’s no surprise you feel this way. Your opinion is totally in line with those of every other wealthy, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant, vanillasexual, truck-driving, meat-eating, rape-joking Psych major. You’re one of the good ones — a real credit to your race.

Allow me to point out the obvious

Reginald P. Snark via web

Show me where the money’s going

something new.

PHOTO Illustration: Kevin Schenk

The writer’s race should not be a factor (Re: “Microaggression a stupid concept,” Tyler Hein, Feb. 26) Does someone’s race mean their opinion isn’t valid? Address the points, not the person; that is equality.

Anonymous via web

There is a small matter of grandstand etiquette which I would appreciate being brought before a fairly large number of rugby fans. At both games, the grandstand has been premature rushed by students from the bleachers and by students suffering no seat all. Unfortunately, this group of daring fellows have usurped many of the seats purchased by the general public, causing no end of anguish to both a student officials and the public You may be sure that the Athletic Board does not enjoy being mean to its supporters , and therefore must have a valid reason for attempting to delay occupation of those seats until half-time. The reason is this: it is an economic necessity to cater to the public and protect their higherpriced seats, for it is certain that the heavy costs of staging these games could not be financed by student patronage alone A little Patience and business sense should avoid the unhappy

Ron Manery

October 27, 1947

I have noticed with increasing alarm the downward trend of your Betwixt and Between column this year. Among other things there has been a steady babbling about the deities. What it is all about I can only say “God only knows” — but without very much conviction. Theological discussions are sufficiently out of place in The Gateway to warrant criticisms, but when your correspondents don’t know what they mean and furthermore, don’t know how to say what they don’t know what they mean, the situation becomes impossible. The foregoing gibberish sentence should illustrate my point. If you cannot stir up a better set of correspondents, I would appreciate a filthy joke column in its place.

If I was applying for a hotly contested job as a chef and was given the opportunity to tell my potential employers why they should hire me, it would be redundant to try and win them over by promising that I would cook my customers’ food effectively and to the best of my ability. That goes without saying, that’s the job description. Likewise, the worst, most over used thing candidates can say to voters is that they’ll do the very job description of the position they’re running for. It’s essentially informing students that you will in fact do the bare minimum of your position. It’s utterly pointless to try and win voters over by telling them you’ll represent them effectively or “foster the student voice.” Don’t tell students that you’ll represent them to the institution or the Board of Governors. You better do these things if you want to be an SU executive — after all, that’s your job. Whether it’s true or not, using these talking points comes across as if these candidates are either terribly uncreative or are running for these positions before they really think about what they want to do with the position or why they want it. Don’t buy into promises of the bare minimum. Expecting more than that is an incredibly low bar for students to set for candidates, but we deserve at least that much from our Students’ Union. Love and kisses,

Gene Kush

November 26, 1953 Letters to the editor should be sent to (no attachments, please). The Gateway reserves the right to edit letters for length and clarity, and to refuse publication of any letter it deems racist, sexist, libellous, or otherwise hateful in nature. The Gateway also reserves the right to publish letters online. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 350 words, and should include the author’s name, program, year of study and student ID number to be considered for publication. Did you vote in the SU elections? I didn’t. Truth be told, I’m getting pretty sick of democracy. You see, the problem with democracy is that anyone can get involved. There seriously has to be a better way. There has to be a better way to weed out all those shitty, incompetent candidates. I’m so tired of hearing the same drivel and empty promises. I think the best thing to do this year would be to not vote. Think about it: we’ll all just stay home.



opinion 11

Volume 104, Issue 26

Just tell those pesky SU candidates you don’t want to hear it you feel bad for saying no, remember that you’re a strong, independent student and they’re trying to put shackles on your spare time.

Adrian LaholaChomiak

Generally, a candidate is easy to spot. Look for an air of confidence with a hint of false humility and exhaustion. Next, check to see if people are walking in strange paths around the individual to avoid being lured into conversation.

opinion staff

The worst part of SU executive election season is being pestered by candidates trying to convince you to vote for them. Luckily, there’s a simple fix for this issue — just say no. Whenever I see a candidate disrupt a group of students studying and they feel pressured into awkwardly saying agreeing to chat, I die a little inside knowing it could be avoided if students stood up for themselves. It’s a common occurence and it makes me think that maybe students just don’t know they have a choice when it comes to being annoyed by prospective SU executives. Even if you’re not busy, the chances you’ll learn something of value from a discussion with a candidate are slim to none. So whether they want to talk to you in a study area, hallway or classroom I’m urging each and every student to just say no. Generally, a candidate is easy to spot. Look for an air of confidence with a hint of false humility and exhaustion. Next, check to see if people are walking in strange paths around the individual to avoid being lured into conversation. This is known as their, “Do you have a minute?” radius, though similar crowd behaviour patterns are also observed around individuals with severe body odour issues. Finally, if they’re carrying a stack of pamphlets, this signals a clear and imminent danger of being trapped in

stop talking to me Seriously, I don’t want to hear about your campaign. a pointless discussion. Your first line of defense should always be to just run away. However, this may not be an option given that good places to sit are rare in university. In this case, you should be prepared to pull out a firm “no.” The first step in just saying no is putting Peanuts-esque adult voice

filters on their introduction to you. Just pretend they’re saying “blah blah blah” and the guilt of turning them away will be lessened. Remember, if you let them sit and chat, they’ll be saying that anyways. When they’re done talking, calmly and clearly say, “I’m exercising my right to a free and independent

PHOTO illustration: Kevin Schenk

study session. Please walk away or I will be forced to get rowdy.” If they power on and launch into their awful enhance communication synergy pitch, repeat “no” with increasing volume until they retreat. This strategy has proven to be 100 per cent effective at avoiding candidates from all the electoral races. If

My dream is that students won’t be saying no only in the hallways and study rooms of the university, but also the classrooms. Nothing is more annoying than starting class with some candidate introducing themselves and taking away your class time to crow about their vague, commitment-less platform. In my dream, when Generic McCandidate tries to waste hundreds of students’ time, they’re met with a resounding chorus of “no.” Together, we can stop the plague of useless and uninteresting classroom speeches given by election candidates. So remember: even though candidates may seem like important people because they have posters everywhere, you have the real power. You’re in control of whether or not you have to sit through half an hour of uninformative propaganda masquerading as a discussion. All you have to do is remember to just say no.

advertisement 12



March 5, 2014




feature 13

Volume 104, Issue 26


tudents’ Union elections are a bewildering world for the average student to make sense of, and when faced with a whopping 20 candidates vying for six positions, this year’s voters are swamped with selection and craving guidance. That’s why The Gateway’s Election Dissection united three SU experts to cut through the clutter and bring you the inside scoop. News Editor Michelle Mark and Staff Reporter Andrea Ross chatted with the panel one week into campaigning to scrutinize each and every candidate, and conclude who will — and who should — represent you in 2014–15.


Written by Michelle Mark and Andrea Ross Photos by Alana Willerton


: l e n a P Credits credits credits by whoever April Hudson is the former News

Editor of The Gateway for the 2012–13 publishing year, and served as the Staff Reporter for 2011–2012. She knows the ins and outs of the Students’ Union all too well, and has scrupulously covered student politics and SU elections for the past several years.

Colten Yamagishi was last year’s

SU President, and served as Vice-President (Student Life) the year before. A recent grad of the University of Alberta’s School of Business, Yamagishi has taken a well-earned departure from campus life and student governance, but has still been following this year’s elections closely.

Panel impressed by number of women running, overwhelmed by amount of total candidates


anelists launched into the discussion by acknowledging the highly competitive nature of this year’s election. Hudson said she was impressed to see an increased female presence in the race — there are six women running for executive positions, four of which are going for the Vice-President (Academic) position. The total amount of candidates has also doubled from last year’s election, which Hudson said is a positive sign.

“I think that’s fantastic. In past years, it’s always been an issue that we don’t have very many people run and I think it’s better to have an overload of candidates than not enough,” she said. But panelists were also wary of the idea that more is better. Way said the number of candidates meant she had trouble doing extensive research on each candidate’s platform because of the sheer amount. She speculated voters will find it overwhelming, but dismissed the issue as part the cyclical nature of SU elections. “This just happens every once in a while,” she said, referring to the similarly large amount of candidates who ran alongside Yamagishi in

Nikki Way

is a self-described “non-hack hack” of the SU. A student in the Faculty of Agriculture, Life and Environmental Sciences, Way has served on a number of SU committees and initiatives, such as the Sustainable Food Initiative. She’s also managed several campaigns for candidates in SU executive elections and Students’ Council elections throughout her undergrad.

2012. “It gets to a point that I think the average student, if they want to be engaged, they can’t tell the candidates apart after a while.” Yamagishi said having five candidates in the VP (Student Life) and VP (Academic) races “changes the dynamic” of voting. Candidates’ campaign materials and websites become all the more important in such highly contested races, he said. “There’s a hotbed of issues this year that people are pulled towards running … I think we need to give credit to the current executive for inspiring people to run for these positions too,” he said.


feature 14



William Lau Bashir Mohamed Adam Woods Doge (Joke candidate)


he panellists focused mostly on Adam Woods and William Lau, saying their established campus presence and experience make them instant frontrunners in the presidential race. With Woods as the current VP (External) and Lau as VP (Student Life), the two candidates both faced scrutiny for their accomplishments throughout their terms, and praise for their leadership qualities. Way and Hudson were critical of Lau’s advocacy experience, describing his platform as vague and full of buzzwords. “It’s wishy-washy, there’s nothing in there, there’s no content. He’s running for President and there’s not even one thing that he says he’s going to do himself,” Way said. “What the fuck are you going to do?” She questioned his achievements as the current VP (Student Life) and said his campaign is superficial, despite his likeable personality. Way said Woods and Mohamed often disagreed with one another during campaign forums, whereas Lau tended to agree with his opponents instead of pitching his own thoughts. “Almost every idea (I’ve) heard from (Lau) was, ‘Oh, I agree,’” she said. “Going into this year, we have some big issues. I don’t get any indication of how he’s going to deal with that.” Yamagishi came to Lau’s defense, saying he can’t think of a presidential candidate who has run their campaign based on a specific new idea and actually accomplished it. He added that much of the position is “putting out fires” rather than working on new goals, and Lau does have solid credentials. Yamagishi argued Lau and Woods are both strong candidates, but in different ways. He said students will ultimately have to decide whether they want an inward- or outwardlooking SU next year. “Do (students) want someone who has a focus more on student issues like mental health?” He said. “Or (Woods), who has a lot of strong knowledge about federal and provincial lobbying, about the government?” Hudson argued the SU needs a strong president who can authoritatively advocate to the government as the university continues to deal with backlash from a slashed budget, and Lau hasn’t demonstrated those qualities. Way agreed that Lau’s agreeable nature and reluctance to engage in criticism could hinder him from effective negotiations with the government. Panellists lauded Woods’ experience in student governance

The worry I have about (Mohamed) is that I don’t know if he would always represent the majority. I have no question that the minority would be represented.


March 5, 2014

and strong work ethic. His platform was praised for being the most thorough and poignant, but Yamagishi said he’s disappointed in Woods’ team for making negative comments at other executive hopefuls on Facebook for not having their platforms prepared quickly. “This has been a dirty SU campaign for everyone on Facebook,” Hudson agreed. Turning to Bashir Mohamed, Hudson immediately mentioned Mohamed’s arrest in 2012 for heckling former Minister of Citizenship and Immigration Jason Kenney — an event Way said voters could hold against him. “There’s a very polarizing effect about (Mohamed) in general. I know that there are some people who are very concerned about that because he is intense. But I respect that," she said. “In terms of the person who needs to put out fires, like (Yamagishi) was saying — he might start them.” Yamagishi also focused on Mohamed’s passion for student governance, touting it as an important factor in leadership despite his relative lack of experience. He said Mohamed presents a great alternative option to the presidential frontrunners, but questioned whether a non-partisan position such as President is the right fit for him. “I do think he is a bit young, I’ll definitely say that,” he said. “The worry I have about (Mohamed) is that I don’t know if he would always represent the majority. I have no question that the minority would be represented.” Way and Hudson agreed that Mohamed has some fascinating ideas, such as campus childcare, but they’d like to see him progress through school and mature as a person before returning next year as a stronger candidate. “He’s the most thorough person I’ve met in politics,” Way said. “But if you go in there and start banging your head against the wall from the start, you’re going to have a concussion before you get any work done.” In terms of the joke candidate, Yamagishi and Way criticized Doge’s inauthenticity to the popular meme on which the character is based. Hudson agreed, saying nothing will ever beat 2013’s joke candidate Horse With a Gun.

Will win: William Lau — two votes Adam Woods — one vote Should win: Adam Woods — two votes Undecided — one vote

He’s the most thorough person I’ve met in politics. But if you go in there and start banging your head against the wall from the start, you’re going to have a concussion before you get any work done.

Stephanie Gruhlke Kathryn Orydzuk Nisha Patel Rebeka Plots Fahim Rahman


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Volume 104, Issue 26

he amount of female candidates in the race earned the panel’s praise, but they quickly wrote off candidate Rebeka Plots as a noncontender for the race. The panellists expressed doubt over whether Plots has put any thought or research into her campaign. “I don’t know who she is, and I have not seen one thing from her that makes sense,” Way said. “She doesn’t give answers half the time — ‘I don’t know this, but I’m going to learn about it.’ ” Hudson agreed, saying it’s good to see new faces in the campaign, but Plots is far too inexperienced for such a demanding position. Yamagishi commended Stephanie Gruhlke for her governance experience and having the courage to run, despite coming from a satellite campus. Gruhlke is from Augustana, and panellists were quick to note her devotion to always attending Students’ Council meetings despite the drive from Camrose. Way said Gruhlke is smart and a good candidate, but she isn’t a top-three contender because her ideas aren’t new. But Yamagishi came to her defence, saying her personality could work well in a team environment. “Usually President will go to war with OpsFi and (Student Life) will go to war with External, and the VP(A) is the one that’s like, ‘Everybody, let’s be logical,’ and I think she could be a pretty good balancing element,” he said. Panellists praised Kathryn Orydzuk for her creativity, passion for student governance and wealth of experience. Her idea to implement mandatory rubrics set her apart from the others, and Way pointed out that Orydzuk’s current job as Student Governance Officer of Discover Governance is perhaps the best springboard into the VP (Academic) position. But panellists were skeptical of her idea to convert the silent room in SUB into a textbook library, questioning its purpose, feasibility and why Orydzuk isn’t focusing on eBooks instead.

“I don’t understand the difference between that and the library,” Yamagishi said. “Is she just saying they’re going to buy a whole bunch of textbooks and put them in a room? ... You’d have to have so many textbooks. That’s expensive.” Nisha Patel struck candidates as a strong, intelligent advocate, and a convincing and demanding speaker due to her debate team experience. But panellists questioned how in-touch Patel is with the student body and how much preparation she’s put into her campaign. “I wasn’t really impressed with her response to her goals,” Hudson said, referring to Patel’s Gateway Q&A where she outlined her platform to work on mental health awareness, co-curricular support and the International Students’ Association. “It seems kind of uninspired to me.” “We should mention that she’s running because she’s angry,” Yamagishi added, referring to a comment Patel made at the Residence forum in Lister Hall. Panellists were wary of Fahim Rahman, calling him “extremely smart” and knowledgeable about the issues facing the Academic portfolio, but also quiet and poor at communicating his ideas — a huge detriment, since the VP (Academic) position is largely committee-oriented. “When you’re on these committees and something comes up, so what — you have an opinion? You know the background? You need to be able to go in there and you need to convince people,” Way said, adding that she’s sat on committees with Rahman and he seldom speaks without being prompted. Way said overall, the goals and duties of the VP (Academic) are fairly rigid, and the determining factor in the race is largely up to candidates’ personalities, not their platforms. Panellists agreed that Patel and Orydzuk are likely the strongest communicators of the bunch.

Will win: Kathryn Orydzuk — two votes Fahim Rahman — one vote Should win: Nisha Patel — two votes Kathryn Orydzuk — one vote

Vice-President (External)


Vice-President (Academic)


Thomas Dang Dylan Hanwell Navneet Khinda


anellists were unanimous in their endorsement of Navneet Khinda, saying she completely eclipsed her opponents and could likely have swept up a win for President had she chosen to run for it instead of VP (External). “She’s been in the hatchery for years,” Yamagishi said, laughing. “Navneet’s a powerhouse ... Her platform is fantastic. It has everything it needs. It’s forward-thinking, it’s visionary, it’s realistic and she has concrete examples that actually will get implemented.” “I think everyone except Navneet is irrelevant in this race,” Hudson added. “I love her approach. She just knows everything so well.” Thomas Dang’s approach to external relations worried the panellists, who criticized his vitriolic, protestheavy ideas for government advocacy. Way said Dang is likely overestimating students’ willingness to engage in such activity. “I think it’s the wrong approach for a VP (Ex),” Hudson said. “You can’t go to war with the government. You still have to be respectful of them, you still have to have some sort of working relationship with them.” Yamagishi encouraged Hudson and Way not to dismiss Dylan Hanwell as a legitimate candidate, but all panellists agreed he isn’t ready and should have taken another year before running. They were also critical of his platform, questioning his approach to student employment and noting his failure to mention mandatory non-instructional fees. “The fact that MNIFs aren’t even on his priority list is an issue for me,” Hudson said. “You can’t move an internship program into an employment program,” Way added, referring to Hanwell’s idea to replace the axed Summer Temporary Employment Program with the Serving Communities Internship Program. “SCiP doesn’t even engage half the campus — SCiP is very much arts-focused.”

Will win: Navneet Khinda — three votes Should win: Navneet Khinda — three votes

‘ I think everyone except Navneet is irrelevant in this race. I love her approach. She just knows everything so well.


Patrick Cajina Nicholas Diaz Fabian Gonzalez Parjanya Joshi Insung Peak


anellists blasted Fabian Gonzalez, calling him the worst candidate in the entire election and adding that his platform, interview responses and performance in forums have been devoid of any concrete details or coherent plans. Way speculated that if he were elected, executives would be calling for his impeachment within months. “He has nothing in his platform. There is absolutely nothing,” she said. “There are other candidates who didn’t prepare, but this guy is on a whole other level of, ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ ” Panellists also noted Gonzalez’s frequent interactions on the UAlberta Confessions Facebook page, worrying that students might recognize his name and vote for him based on his social media presence. Insung Peak is too inexperienced for the VP (Student Life) position, panellists agreed, saying her ideas are too underdeveloped, but her passion and potential could make her a strong candidate in future years. Hudson and Yamagishi discussed her difficulty communicating her ideas, saying a language barrier could be a big problem since the portfolio is so verbally communicative by nature. Panellists were underwhelmed by Parjanya Joshi, calling him out-of-touch and some of his platform points — such as tightening the smoking policy — irrelevant. They suggested he may not have a complex understanding of the issues behind creating and maintaining the International Students’ Association.

“Everyone thinks they have the solution, but they don’t know the intricacies,” Way said. “I don’t know anything about him,” Yamagishi said. “I’m not impressed,” Hudson added. Patrick Cajina came across as both passionate and thorough to the panellists, who found him an appealing candidate, but not a remarkable one. They were fairly confident in his potential to bring students across campus together, but confused about his idea for a Coke and Mentos explosion event. “Not a big fan,” Way said. “It seems like a lot of money for nothing ... it’s not meaningful at all.” “Is he trolling about that?” Yamagishi said Nicholas Diaz impressed Way in particular, who described him as a personable, strong character, and lauded his proven dedication to the goals he’s campaigning on. “He’s already been working on the issues he’s talking about. He’s already hand-in-hand with the Dean of Students for reinventing BearsDen, for a whole bunch of Health & Dental Plan stuff, for student services stuff. He’s there,” she said. Hudson and Yamagishi agreed he seems passionate, but Yamagishi also pointed out that Diaz can be stubborn. “The people I know who know him either really like him, or really hate him. It’s one or the other,” he said. “There are issues that come up that I can see him being not closed-minded, but maybe a bit inflexible.”

Will win: Patrick Cajina — two votes Nicholas Diaz — one vote Should win: Nicholas Diaz — three votes


angram Hansra’s intelligence and charisma captivated the panellists, but they had reservations about his aggressive personality and how his presence would translate to the Board of Governors environment. “He’s a complete asshole,” Hudson said. “Yes, he’s an asshole, but he knows it,” Yamagishi agreed, laughing. He added Hansra has been in the SU longer than any other candidate this year, and knows the organization and the issues inside out. Way and Hudson were interested by Hansra’s idea to enforce a sunshine list to disclose salaries of U of A employees making more than $200,000 a year, but Yamagishi said he thinks the unions would put their foot down. “I personally don’t think they would want to see something like this,” he said. “I don’t see what they would gain from it, either, besides increased transparency.” All panellists, however, were doubtful of Umer Farooq’s

credentials and ideas. They agreed the BoG Rep position requires a strong character to be able to stand up to intimidating administrators and public members, and Farooq hasn’t adequately demonstrated that trait. “BoG’s scary as shit,” Yamagishi said. “You have to be extremely conscious and able to think of things on your feet very quickly.” He pointed out that the members on the board are often extremely wealthy, powerful and experienced at debating, and as a student representative, the only way to win arguments is to have expert knowledge, which Yamagishi said Farooq lacks. “He’s not a strong speaker, he’s not able to articulate what he wants to say. That works against him,” Way added.

Will win: Sangram Hansra — three votes Should win: Sangram Hansra — three votes

March 5, 2014

Cory Hodgson


ory Hodgson struck the panel as a good candidate and a passionate, capable VP, but they agreed his lack of opponents has made him lazy throughout his campaign. Yamagishi said that’s worrisome since Hodgson has been actively involved with the SU, but hasn’t yet held any major leadership roles. “I’m unimpressed,” Way said. “I just think he hasn’t put in a lot of effort, from what I’ve seen.” But she added she’s confident in his ability to consider issues thoroughly, even despite his lacklustre campaign and ideas. Hudson, however, countered that the nature of the position requires a steady hand, not necessarily revolutionary ideas. “The OpsFi portfolio needs stability more than anything,” Hudson said. “I’m okay with not seeing big ideas in this one.”

Will win: Cory Hodgson — three votes Should win: Cory Hodgson — three votes

Athletics & Recreation Fee Plebiscite

Board of Governors Representative Umer Farooq Sangram Hansra


Vice-President (OpsFi)

Vice-President (Student Life)

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anellists were cynical of the plebiscite, which would see a $16.38 increase to the $64.92 Athletics and Recreation Fee, if passed. They questioned whether the fees students already pay are being used well, let alone effectively enough to merit an increase. “I don’t think there’s been enough information, aside from what’s on paper, for students to make an informed vote,” Yamagishi said. He said he likes the idea of providing adequate funding to athletics, but noted students already pay four fees for athletics in general, and questioned whether the average student would reap any benefits from the hike. “I wonder what the SU Council and the execs were doing on this, because I would have tried to ask for more.”

Will pass: Yes — one vote No — one vote Undecided — one vote Should pass: No — three votes

The Final Predictions President: William Lau VP (Academic): Kathryn Orydzuk VP (External): Navneet Khinda VP (Student Life): Patrick Cajina VP (OpsFi): Cory Hodgson BoG Rep: Sangram Hansra


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ith the end of elections finally in sight, we sat a few of The Gateway's poster “experts” down to find out their thoughts on the offerings from each executive race this year. It's one of the few times that past experiences and speeches don't matter — only font choices and colour schemes.


The Panellists:

March 5, 2014

Darcy Ropchan, Andrew Jeffrey, Kate Black, Tyler Hein, Alana Willerton and Adrian Lahola-Chomiak.

President: Adam Woods

President: Bashir Mohamed President: William Lau Darcy: It’s the exact same thing he did last year. Adrian: It’s simple. Andrew: It’s actually fiscally responsible because it saves costs by keeping the exact same poster as last year. Darcy: I’m going to argue the opposite. He’s wasting all that white space — it could be filled with stuff. Tyler: I think it’s striking and elegant. Kate: His hair is worse than last year. Last year, it had a bit more volume. Andrew: He looks like he has an inexpensive haircut. Darcy: I think he blinked when the picture was taken. Kate: Or (he’s) constipated. Alana: Definitely the latter. Adrian: He’s having a hard time with his campaign. Alana: Maybe that’s a snapshot of when he broke his foot — that’s the moment it happened. Tyler: He’s not smiling. It’s anger, it’s fierce intensity. Darcy: Under platform points, he wants to maximize student representation. Andrew: Which is good because he’s running to represent students. Adrian: It hasn’t been maximized yet. Alana: His next one is prioritizing student voice. Wasn’t that one of his platform points last year? Kate: Who else’s voice would you be prioritizing? Darcy: Isn’t that just the bare minimum of his job? Darcy: And finally, enhancing co-curricular opportunities. Kate: I don’t know what that means. Andrew: It’s not actually saying what you want to do — it’s clearly just thrown together. It might as well just be a giant poster saying, “Synergy.” Alana: While it is the same thing as last year, it’s simple and effective in an eye-catching way. Kate: There’s a lot of mystery surrounding his platform points.

Kate: Upon first glance, it feels like I’m sneaking up on him. Darcy: It reminds me of the XXX move poster with Vin Diesel. Tyler: It looks like the cover of an Oscar-winning movie about Martin Luther King. Alana: Or Nelson Mandela. Andrew: Also, Bane. Adrian: I feel like I should be inspired by this poster, but I’m not at all. Kate: I should (be), But instead I think, 'Are you Nelson Mandela? Do you think you’re Bane?' Alana: Bane 4 prez. Darcy: Do we really want someone who thinks he’s Bane running for president? Adrian: Of course. Alana: It’s very overdramatic, but I like the look of it — it’s eyecatching. Darcy: It looks like he’s got a messiah complex. Kate: I’m kind of put off by the fact that he won’t look us in the eyes. Darcy: I get the impression that he’s looking down on people. Andrew: Or that he’s turned his back on the people. Darcy: For platform points, he wants to regulate international tuition. Alana: That’s important. Darcy: The second one is confusing, ‘Alleviate the need for oncampus child care.’ Andrew: I don’t think he understands what alleviate means. Kate: Free condoms for everyone — no children. Darcy: It sounds vaguely threatening. 'I will alleviate the need for child care.' Tyler: If he sounds like Bane, that’s going to be a hell of a threat. Darcy: Finally we have — and it still sounds threatening — ‘A new approach to advocacy.’ Kate: What could that be? Tyler: I don’t pay much attention, what was the old approach? Adrian: Letters.

Darcy: If you have to tell someone that you’re humble, you’re not humble. Kate: Look at his face, of course he’s humble. Alana: His poster is a lot better than last year's. Darcy: That’s not saying much, though. Tyler: The life story on his poster is in third person. Darcy: Compared to other years, this suit looks like it actually fits him. Adrian: There’s a real black and white theme going this year amongst the presidential candidates. Alana: Did they plan that? Kate: It feels like Adam is embracing the fact that he looks like your weird old uncle. Darcy: Also, what is he doing with his hands? What does he have behind his back? Kate: There’s no platform points on here, that’s interesting. Andrew: That’s an unfortunate trend among a lot of posters this year. Darcy: I mean, we could get more info at, but if I’m walking through campus, I don’t want to have to do more work. Andrew: I don’t want to do more work, I’m already walking. Adrian: This image looks like it should be on a platform for depression or something. Kate: The fonts don’t work for me, but they work for him. Alana: Notice how the ‘v’ in “Vote” is a checkmark. All: Clever. Andrew: He’d never tell you he came up with that idea because he’s humble and hard-working. Alana: In general, I like it a lot better than last year.

President: Doge Kate: I don’t think they’re doing the Doge meme properly. Adrian: Why is the word ‘loyal’ on a different background? Darcy: We’re analyzing a joke poster that was clearly done on Microsoft Word. Andrew: I don’t think the posters are designed to look good, so it’s kind of pointless to criticize it. Darcy: I just think memes are boring and uninteresting. Adrian: I just wish they would die.



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Volume 104, Issue 26

Alana: This is my favourite out of all the VP (Academic) candidates. She does have the best colour scheme — the red and black. Adrian: You have to take your photo in CSISS because it’s our nicest building. Kate: I appreciate that she has really specific platform points instead of just saying that she’ll do her job. Andrew: This is the only poster in the race that’s actually done right. Her poster actually says what she wants to do. So damn you Kathryn for making our job here so difficult. Kate: Good for you, Kathryn. I like your hair. Adrian: Note to other candidates: If you put actual platform points on your poster, we’ll like you better. Darcy: Kathryn is not making our job easy and that’s a good thing. She has a good poster. Andrew: I’m happy. I don’t know how to deal with this feeling.

VP (External): Thomas Dang

VP (Academic): Rebeka Plots VP (Academic): Stephanie Gruhlke Tyler: This looks like the background they use for really bad bar photos. Kate: Or when you’re four and you get those photos done at Walmart. She’s wearing different outfits in both of them. Also, why is she holding her blazer together? Darcy: Maybe the button fell off. And the black and blue colour is not working. Andrew: Maybe she’ll beat her opponents black and blue. Adrian: It’s a message. Darcy: She wants to support students. Once again, the basics of her job. Adrian: Once again, we’re expecting that. Darcy: ‘Focus on teaching.’ Teaching what exactly? Alana: Is she doing the teaching? Darcy: ‘Decrease costs.’ Kate: I would like that. Andrew: It would be nice if everything decreased in cost. Darcy: And ‘Online advisement.’ Tyler: You have an issue, you go online and it’s solved. Darcy: Is it like the tech support at Best Buy where it takes five minutes to get a response? Andrew: The posters are just boring and not engaging. Darcy: It looks like a realtor’s business card. Kate: And don’t wear a blazer. A lot of people this year are wearing blazers. It automatically makes you look like a dick. Andrew: It would be nice if she was actually blowing bubbles in the background.

Darcy: Once again, there’s nothing on this poster. Alana: I’m pretty sure that photo was taken with an iPhone. Andrew: She’s not sure of herself. She’s saying vote her for VP (Academic) instead of assuming she would (win) like Nisha. Darcy: I like that her and Nisha had the same ‘hands on the hips’ pose. Tyler: It’s a power stance. Andrew: She’s getting down to business. Kate: I don’t understand it. Andrew: It looks like she’s standing on her tippy toes. Kate: Or it looks like she has to sneeze. Darcy: To me, that’s the face you make when you run into your ex on the street. Alana: The fake smile. Adrian: Put your platform points on it. Darcy: I don’t like the red on black colouring. Kate: It’s very satanic.

VP (Academic): Nisha Patel VP (Academic): Fahim Rahman

All: Another Blazer. Darcy: No platform points, no info. Kate: It just tells you to visit her website. Tyler: It doesn’t even tell you when to vote. Andrew: Nisha isn’t worried with overloading you with information. She just want you to know to vote for her. Adrian: Her platform is, 'Just trust me.' Darcy: That’s what her face says. It looks likes she's saying, 'It’s none of your business.' Tyler: Nisha Patel, VP (Academic): 'Yes I am.' Darcy: I like that the cover of her name in the poster is the same colour as her blazer — that’s some nice foresight. Alana: She chose that blazer wisely. Darcy: She has a lot of triangles in the background — that’s nice. Kate: It’s like the Illuminati. Darcy: On the more horizontal poster, she has so much empty space. Andrew It’s the perfect size to put platform points. Alana: On the vertical poster, the information by her elbow is awkwardly spread out. Darcy: Nisha, we want to know what you’re running on. Kate: Just trust her.

Andrew: ‘Believe in Fahim’ is pretty catchy. Kate: It doesn’t rhyme, which bothers me. Andrew: Not everything has to rhyme. Adrian: Is just me or does his face look like someone farted offcamera right before this photo was taken? Alana: I definitely like the black and blue one more than the coloured poster. Adrian: The black and blue one has platform points. Kate: Also, don’t tell me what to believe in. Darcy: If we don’t believe in him, does he cease to exist? Darcy: He wants to promote high quality education. Because not enough people are coming to university. Darcy: ‘Support student representatives across campus’ — once again, your job. Tyler: On the grey column, it just says “Believe in Fahim” over and over again. Adrian: That’s actually just his inner monologue.

VP (Academic): Kathryn Orydzuk

Alana: Why so serious? Darcy: Does someone know that a seven-year-old is running for VP (External)? Adrian: Why does one poster just have his name and the date? All: Dang 2014 Alana: Why is the ‘D’ so much bigger than all the other letters? Kate: We want the big Ds. Andrew: Vote for me, I’ll bring the D. Andrew: It’s so presumptuous to put your name on a poster and assume people will know what you’re talking about. Tyler: How’s he going to express himself when he loses? By saying, ‘Dang.’ Adrian: It just looks like he’s sad about getting older. Darcy: He looks too serious. Lighten up. There are no platform points either. Adrian: Which seems to be a trend. Andrew: Even his last name seems childish. It’s Dang instead of Thomas Damn. Andrew: I’d say it’s the worst poster out of all the candidates. Adrian: There’s no info — you don’t even know what race it is. Next year, are candidates not even going to put their names on posters? Andrew: A lot of people were bad this year. Thomas Dang was the worst. Tyler: It actually has the race he’s running (for) at the very bottom of the poster. Alana: In size two letters.

VP (External): Dylan Hanwell Adrian: He’s blond Iveson. Kate: Dylan is pretty cool, (but they) used the only bad photo of him for this poster. Alana: It’s very blurry. Tyler: He looks like Emerson Csorba without glasses. Alana: So basically he looks like a bunch of politicians. Adrian: A non-threating white male. Darcy: He looks like one of the models they use in photos that come with picture frames. Adrian: He wants student employment, open academic resources and communicating cuts. Kate: That just makes it sound like communicating hurts. Adrian: Not stopping cuts, just saying it hurts. Tyler: He looks like a nice guy — I’d let him date my sister. Andrew: Could you have a beer with him? If so, I’d vote for him.

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Alana: She has the best poster in this race. Andrew: That’s an incredibly low bar. That is a dang low bar. Darcy: One thing I like is that she hasn’t assumed that she’s VP (External). She has a little bar saying 'Status Pending.' Alana: So she’s humble without saying she’s humble. Andrew: So she’s humble and hard working. Kate: The poster spells it out for us. Darcy: She’s on a mission to improve financial assistance, support student participation in democracy, enhance employment and post-graduation opportunities, ensure transparency and protect student’s rights. Alana: I like that it’s not a two-word platform point — she actually says what she wants to do. Darcy: Once again, there’s not a lot here for us to critique. All: Thank you, Navneet. Alana: It’s not crazy exciting, but it’s well done. Kate: In a sea of Thomas Dangs, she’s a shining light. Darcy: In a sea of Thomas Dangs, sometimes you get a Khinda surprise.

VP (Student Life): Patrick Cajina Kate: All six of his twin best friends behind him. Darcy: That’s some Matrix shit right there. Alana: They’re good quality photos. Kate: The picture’s taken in the pedway between ECHA and the hospital. Adrian: The one where he’s by himself looks like an erectile dysfunction ad. Tyler: You can still have a good life. Darcy: He really wants us to see his watch. Tyler: It looks like a mariner’s compass. Darcy: He wants to ‘Defend the student voice by engaging it’s body.’ All: Laughs. Darcy: Patrick, I don’t care what you say, you knew what you were doing when you wrote that. I’d let him engage my body. Tyler: He wants to break a world record. Through a Mentos and Diet Coke explosion perhaps. Alana: Apparently he didn’t want to do dodgeball anymore. Adrian: Which I’m okay with. Darcy: Is it 2006? I thought we were over the Diet Coke and Mentos thing. Kate: Yeah, I forgot it was a thing. Come up with something new. There’s four of him, he can accomplish a lot. Darcy: Would a giant Diet Coke and Mentos explosion destroy campus? Tyler: Does he look like a man who cares? Kate: He could use his watch as a shield. Andrew: If he loses this election, he’ll return in greater numbers.

VP (Student Life): Nicholas Diaz Alana: The Time magazine parody. Darcy: He’s reading The Purity Test in this photo. Alana: Is he trying to win us over with that? Kate: Well, somebody else is picking up The Gateway other than us, so that’s nice. Alana: Starbucks is very visible in the background, is that sponsorship maybe? Kate: It’s also closed. Does he want to close down Starbucks? He’s also there on a Sunday, that’s the Lord’s day. Adrian: Diaz hates the Lord. Alana: He must have got a really good Purity Test score, because he looks really happy. Darcy: He wants to diversify campus events. Tyler: He wants dodgeball and Mentos. Darcy: And to foster student voice. Alana: Again, your job. Alana: This is a very bad representation of Time magazine. Kate: How does he do it? Because I’m going to assume not well. Darcy: I think he could have picked a cooler magazine to parody. Kate: Cosmopolitan maybe.

Andrew: If it was Cosmo it could have been ‘15 ways Diaz can engage the student body.’ Tyler: I want to know his Purity Test score.

VP (Student Life): Fabian Gonzalez Adrian: We complained about there being too little information on posters, this has way too much. This is not what we meant. The fact that it’s a speech bubble just kills me. Darcy: I like that his hair matches his shirt. He’s got a little pink tuft of hair at the top of his head. Kate: It looks like a tampon. It’s just really bothering me. Darcy: He’s in front of Tory Lecture — the worst building on campus. Alana: It’s just a speech — it doesn’t say what he wants to do. Kate: He’ll tell you the rest on UAlberta Confessions. Adrian: He brings up a concrete issue and then give the most vague possible answer to it. Darcy: It’s his desire to empower people to make connections. Kate: That’s his desire, your one desire in life? Darcy: He wants to inspire, excite and engage. Tyler: What if you answered no to the questions on his poster? Tyler: Fabian Gonzalez is a great name for a character in a Harlequin Romance novel.

VP (Student Life): PJ Joshi


March 5, 2014

Kate: I like knowing that he exists. These posters are a nice surprise. Alana: He’s the only one in his race, so it’s nice that he actually put effort into his posters. Darcy: He has no platform points on his poster. Alana: He doesn’t need them. He knows he’s going to win. Tyler: I would just like to see a photo of Cory Hodgson just flipping people off. Democracy doesn’t work — vote for Cory. Darcy: He’s exploiting our childhood nostalgia and it’s working. Alana: He’s the only one who won’t be stressed out on election night.

BoG Rep: Umer Farooq Darcy: The classic silhouette of his face. At least when Josh Le did it last year, he had a recognizable face. Farooq does not have a recognizable face — that could be anyone. Alana: The one that has his face has platform points on it. Darcy: His beard looks different in the real life photo of him. Andrew: His perception (of his) beard is different than what it is in real life. Adrian: You’re actually seeing into his psychosis now. Kate: And his eyebrows are thin. Andrew: This man has beard envy. Alana: I hate that you can see the edge of his photo. Darcy: He wants to “Make SU work for YOU.” Alana: Why is he shouting the word 'you?' Darcy: Was it not working before?

BoG Rep: Sangram Hansra

Darcy: He says he wants to F.I.G.R. it out. That’s not even part of his name, so I don’t know why he has that as an acronym. Couldn’t he have added a ‘u’ and an ‘e’ to at least spell it correctly? Tyler: Do you know how hard he tried? Alana: This poster is poorly designed. The colours are awful. Darcy: It looks like barf. Alana: It looks like a giant burn. Adrian: I don’t get why he has the Captain America shield with different colours. Darcy: It looks like it’s been coloured in with highlighter. How dangerous is his job that he needs a shield? Andrew: The biggest (student life) issue is the threat to students' lives. That’s why he has the shield.

VP (Student Life): Insung Peak Darcy: She’s a VIP. It’s kind of arrogant to call yourself a VIP. Alana: It means Vote Insung Peak. Darcy: She’s got a face that says, ‘Did I do that?’ Alana: The ‘V’ is that she wants to voice the needs of all students. ‘I’ is improve students health and wellness and the ‘P’ is provide diverse events to improve students university life. Andrew: Again, your job description. Alana: I don’t hate the design though. Darcy: Let’s just hope she doesn’t Peak too early.

VP (OpsFi): Cory Hodgson Darcy: One of the best posters out of anyone this year. Alana: He’s got three different posters. Two look like video games and one has his actual picture on it. I prefer the ones without his actual face on it. It looks better when it’s all pixels.

Darcy: How in love with yourself do you have to be to compare yourself to Superman? Tyler: Do you even lift? Darcy: He clearly doesn’t. Alana: The one with the foggy background is better than the comic book one. Darcy: Man of Steel wasn’t even that good of a movie. Adrian: I just don’t get the Superman theme. Darcy: The comic book one doesn’t even have platform points on it. Adrian: He did put what race he was in at least. Darcy: Which puts him miles ahead of all the other candidates. Andrew: He’s going to burst into that first BoG meeting with that shirt on.

Best Poster: Cory Hodgson

Adrian: Solid design Andrew: He doesn’t have any platform points, but he’s going to win, so fuck you. Alana: He didn’t need them. He had the most creative design


VP (External): Navneet Khinda


Worst Poster: Thomas Dang

Darcy: As in, 'Dang, that’s an awful poster.' Adrian: It’s a new level of low. Andrew: It’s a new level of bad. Tyler: I will tussle that kid’s hair.

Best Potential Movie Poster: Bashir Mohamed

Alana: For his Clint Eastwoodesque looking poster. Darcy: For his Oscarnominated portrayal of a man running for SU president. Alana: Sangram is a close runner up. Darcy: Even though he blatantly ripped off Superman.

The Poster With the Least Info: Thomas Dang

Darcy: With a special mention to Nisha Patel. Alana: The only reason she’s second is because at least she put her position

on the posters. Darcy: Thomas, what were you thinking? Kate: Don’t beat yourself up, you look sensitive.

Most Unintimidating: Adam Woods

Alana: Your face says you’re humble and hard working. Kate: Your suit fits. Good for you. Andrew: Let the other candidates worry about intimidation and confidence — they’re just buzzwords. Darcy: Even if we gave him an eye patch, he still wouldn’t look dangerous.

Best Body Engaging: Patrick Cajina

Darcy: For suggesting we break the world record through Mentos and Diet Coke Tyler: I assume it’s just a Quad filled with bottles and he just runs around putting Mentos in them.

Best Don Iveson Impression: Dylan Hanwell

Andrew: For being as unassuming as possible Alana: For ripping off Iveson’s campaign posters. Darcy: It’s better than the people who kept using Obama’s hope posters.



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Volume 104, Issue 26

Arts & Culture

A & C Editor Paige Gorsak

Phone 780.492.6661


Twitter @paigegorsak

Volunteer A & C meetings Wednesdays at 4 p.m. in 3-0 4, SUB. C’mon by!

social intercourse COMPILED BY Paige Gorsak

International Women’s Day Celebration Presented by Amnesty International University of Alberta Chapter Thursday, March 6 – Saturday, March 8 at various times University of Alberta campus, various locations Each year on March 8, thousands around the world celebrate International Women’s Day, and the University of Alberta’s Amnesty International chapter is taking their lady love a step further with a three-day conference. Thursday features a yoga session and accompanying talk on women’s health in the afternoon, and an evening of speakers on women’s rights issues. Friday’s events include a peaceful rally and the musical stylings of local singer-songwriter Jenie Thai, while Saturday’s “un-conference” is a chance to share ideas.

Every Woman Festival Presented by Every Woman Organization Wednesday, March 12 from 6 p.m. – 8 p.m. Lexus South Pointe (830 100 St. SW) Tickets $25 for students at Dress up in your finest florals and head to the Lexus South Pointe location for the inaugural Every Woman Festival. The garden-themed event is raising money for Win House, a nonprofit agency supporting women and children fleeing domestic violence. The one-night event will feature a performance from the Every Woman Organization’s founder, Sophie Serafino, and a keynote by U of A Associate Dean and scientist Margaret-Ann Armour.

Girl Rising Sponsored by CEASE, YWCA Edmonton, Indo Canadian Women’s Organization Hosted by Chelsey Smith Directed by Richard Robbins Saturday, March 8 at 4 p.m.; drinks and discussion at 3 p.m. $7 for students at or at the door The voices of famous females such as Cate Blanchett and Meryl Streep narrate the stories of nine underprivileged girls from across the world in Girl Rising. The documentary stresses the global importance of education while documenting the pressing social justice issues girls face such as rape and human trafficking. While bleak at times, the film is a powerful testament to the resilience that accompanies even the darkest circumstances, and a testament to the brighter future that’s within our grasp.

Laverne Cox — “Ain’t I a Woman: My Journey to Womanhood” Presented by the Gender Based Violence Prevention Project and U of A Pride Week Saturday, March 8 at 7 p.m., doors at 6 p.m. CCIS 1-430, University of Alberta Free Quoting Sojourner Truth’s iconic question, Laverne Cox is visiting the U of A campus on Saturday as part of Pride Week. The Orange is the New Black star and activist will be presenting to students and community members on trans identity and her own journey, as well as issues surrounding race and gender-based violence. Her visit is presented by the Students’ Union’s Gender Based Violence Prevention Project, who hopes the talk will inspire dialogue around less talked about topics.


SkirtsAfire festival lights up 118 Ave. with women of Edmonton’s arts scene EVENT PREVIEW

SkirtsAfire, herArts Festival FEATURING WHEN

Words Unzipped, National Elevator Project, Hey Ladies!, Ladies in the Lens, Nuela Charles and more

Thursday, March 6 from 5:30 p.m. – 10:10 p.m.; Friday, March 7 from 7 p.m. – 10:10 p.m.; Saturday, March 8 from 9:45 a.m. – 10:10 p.m.; Sunday, March 9 from 1 p.m. – 5p.m.

WHERE Various locations (118 Avenue) HOW MUCH By donation Khojesta Rajabi ARts & culture writeR

The women’s art community is alight this week, as SkirtsAfire, herArts festival brings female creators to the forefront. The second annual festival coincides with International Women’s Day and showcases nearly 90 artists in six venues across 118 Ave. At its core, the festival strives to break down inequality in the arts community and to celebrate local women in multiple artistic disciplines. “It’s quite wonderful bringing so many different artistic disciplines together and have women connecting through them,” says Annette Loiselle, the festival’s director. “Each art form brings it’s own community of artists and audience. It’s a great way to generate new audiences.” One of the festival venues is Avenue Theatre, and the two shows that occur there will have an interactive aspect. According to Loiselle, a big part of the festival’s mandate is to bring audiences and artists together, and both Anatolia Speaks and Can’t Contain My Dance bring audiences on stage with performers. The former is a

a one-woman play by Kenneth Brown about the experiences of a new Canadian woman from Bosnia, while Can’t Contain My Dance is collection of contemporary pieces from ViVA DANCE Company about the experience of young women in our society. The double bill will show every night of the festival, which is different from last year’s one-night shows. Beyond expanding the amount of entertainment audiences will see when attending, the festival also has a goal of promoting female playwrights. In three stages, newly written plays are worked and reworked from basic scripts to full productions. In the Peep Show, audiences get mini teasers of female playwrights’ new productions, while the playwrights themselves get a first opportunity to work with a cast and director.

“There is a difference between celebrating and favouring a gender. When you favour something, there is a balance missing. When you are trying to balance, you have to see what the other side is saying to create that level playing field.” SHREELA CHAKRABARTTY CO-DIRECTOR, She SPEAKS

Alongside theatre and dance, this year’s festival also features films. The lineup includes the documentaries She Speaks and Who Cares. She Speaks, created by Shreela Chakrabartty, Michelle Todd and Nadien Chu, shares the stories of seven women from diverse backgrounds through a personal item they each treasure. According to Chakrabartty, a challenge they faced

in producing the film was how to get personal. “It’s really hard to talk about things that make you vulnerable. That’s why we used this object. We figured it would get us into that frame of mind and reveal something more than anything else you talk about,” she says. “By using this device, we broke that wall a little bit and got a sense of what the women are struggling with. There was a pattern of what they were trying to say — about what motivates them, their expectations, what they had to let go of.” The other film, Rosie Dransfeld’s Who Cares, is a hard-hitting and gritty documentary about sex workers on 118 Ave. in Edmonton. According to Loiselle, the film puts a face “to something we don’t really understand (and gives) a voice to those who don’t really have a voice.” The screening will be followed by a panel discussion moderated by Kate Quinn from the Centre to End All Sexual Exploitation. On the panel is an RCMP officer, a psychotherapist and a former sex worker who is now a social worker. Although the stories of women are the central focus of both films and the rest of the festival, that doesn’t mean the content isn’t accessible for other audiences. According to Chakrabartty, the festival isn’t biased toward women over men: it’s creating parity. “There is a difference between celebrating and favouring a gender,” she says. “When you favour something, there is a balance missing. When you are trying to balance, you have to see what the other side is saying to create that level playing field.” As Loiselle adds, men are involved in the festival, not just as audience members, but as artists within the festival. Female empowerment remains a core quality, but her vision is one of stories — not a contest or segregation. “Just because it’s the stories of women doesn’t mean men can’t relate to them,” Loiselle says. “Any woman’s story is going to involve men. We don’t want to shut out men. It’s not a contest. It’s more of a celebration of women’s work.”

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March 5, 2014



arts & culture 23

Volume 104, Issue 26

fashion streeters compiled & photographed by

Christina Varvis

Louanne Luu Arts IV


McConaissance sees rom-com actor win over critics and fans Brad Kennedy A&C Staff @hella_BrAD

Over the last four years, Matthew McConaughey’s career has been climbing the ladder about as fast as it’s possible to climb, and everyone’s starting to take notice. From his humble beginnings as a 20-something stoner layabout in Dazed and Confused to an Oscar-winning HIV-positive cowboy in Dallas Buyers Club, McConaughey has truly spanned a breadth of cinematic roles, and he’s ended up at the top of the heap. But while McConaughey’s gripping characterization of the cryptic and nihilistic Detective Rust Cohle in HBO’s True Detective series places him centre stage in millions of North American households, his past roles in goofy rom-coms like The Wedding Planner and Failure to Launch makes his presence at the forefront of some of Hollywood’s greatest new material feel a little disorienting. After all, this is the same actor who gave us a bevy of formulaic movies like How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days for much of the early ‘00s. Where did this cool, edgy and charismatic new version of Matthew McConaughey come from? It all started in 2011. After a two-year hiatus from the silver screen, McConaughey returned to Hollywood with a trifecta of roles in films that would serve as the foundation for his launch to the top of the charts: Bernie, Killer Joe and The Lincoln Lawyer, each of which remains a highly underrated film of 2011. In The Lincoln Lawyer, he played a somewhat sleazy criminal defense lawyer caught in a deadly game of cat-and-mouse with a serial-killing client. In Bernie, he played a self-obsessed District Attorney uncomfortably prosecuting the nicest man in town for murder. And in Killer Joe, he played a psychotic police detective who moonlighted as a murderer for

hire. These three dark, serious and widely varied characters finally allowed him to showcase his range and skill as an actor, and were the catalyst that would transform him from one of Hollywood’s B-list pretty-boy actors to their newest A-list powerhouse. After 2011, things only got better for McConaughey. He would go on to give a stellar performance as the psychologically tortured journalist Ward Jansen in Lee Daniel’s The Paperboy, a highly surreal and warped film about a murderer who manipulates the press into setting him free from jail. Following that, he was perfectly cast in the titular role of Mud — a crime thriller with dark and superstitious overtones about a man on the run from the law on the banks of the Mississippi river, which remains one of 2012’s best cinematic offerings. And though his performance as Dallas, owner and ringmaster of the Xquisite Strip Club in Magic Mike, was joked about in the trailers, it received both critical praise and audience approval.

This swiftly skyrocketing calibre of roles and films being offered to McConaughey would culminate in his Oscar-winning performance as hard-drinking, HIV-positive cowboy Ron Woodruff in 2013’s Dallas Buyers Club. He also made a short but monumental appearance in another of this year’s Oscar-nominated films, The Wolf Of Wall Street. McConaughey plays Mark Hanna, the mentor who would inspire Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) to the heights of hedonistic greed that would consume his life and career. There’s a great moment in the film where McConaughey and Dicaprio are having lunch and McConaughey starts to hum and beat out a rhythm on his chest. The tune becomes a recurring sort of war chant for the brokers throughout the film, with a jazzy, funky remix even playing over the credits — and the whole thing was an unscripted inclusion from McConaughey. If you look closely, he’s credited as one of the writers and performers of the track. This wealth of excellent roles has exposed McConaughey as a diamond in the rough of serious dramatic acting, earning him a well-deserved spot in film history. Now that his talent has been brought to the forefront of the cinematic world, we can look forward to a bright collaborative future between this rising star and some of the greatest minds of Hollywood in combinations never before thought possible. Now, whether True Detective proves to be the zenith of his meteoric career rise or not, one thing is certain: in the months to come, Matthew McConaughey is an actor that fans of good entertainment everywhere should have their eyes on. Later this year, he’s set to appear in the lead role of Christopher Nolan’s new sci-fi blockbuster Interstellar. Little is known about it yet, but as someone who’s radically changed his star status as of late, it seems certain McConaughey will deliver a brilliant performance.

Describe what you’re wearing. I have on a shirt from Oak and Fort, an Aritzia plaid shirt, the cardigan, I think, is from Goodwill, and then the coat is from Zara. The pants ... are from Joe and the boots are Camper from Gravity Pope. The scarf is also from Oak and Fort. gateway: Is there a style icon or current trend that inspires your style? LOUANNE: Elizabeth Olsen ... (And) I kind of like how the street wear with the ‘90s hip hop influences are starting to come back.

gateway: LOUANNE:

Check out for more photos.

arts & culture 24



March 5, 2014


Wake Owl take Private World of Paradise on North American tour music PREVIEW

Wake Owl WITH Lyon WHEN Friday, March 7 at 8 p.m. WHERE Starlite Room (10030 102 St.) HOW MUCH $15 at ticketfly Nicole Hammond Arts & culture writer

It’s been a busy two years since Wake Owl released their well-received EP Wild Country, and the emerging band continues to take flight. The song “Gold” from their EP was played on Grey’s Anatomy, and they were recently nominated for Breakout Artist of the Year for the 2014 Juno Awards. With this momentum behind them, the Vancouver and Portland-based indie-pop band is back with a new album and a North American tour. According to Wake Owl’s lead singer and songwriter Colyn Cameron, the two-year gap between their first EP and their new album, The Private World of Paradise, was longer than he had hoped. “(We want) to keep progressing and putting on the best show we can,” he says. “I’m into putting out as much music as I can … I want to get into more of a rhythm of releasing stuff more often. We’ll see what this record brings about and what opportunities (to) share the new music with people.” An increased production volume is a manageable feat for the band,


otherworldly and reminiscent all at once. “(Untitled) is already mysterious in its own instrumentation and arrangement, with a very hypnotic or unchanging sort of drum machine,” he says. “I didn’t really sing lyrics on that song … I was sort of singing just in the moment. We recorded it in a way that kind of sounds mysterious and you can’t quite make out what I’m saying.” With hypnotic instrumentals like the unchanging drum machine and enchanting strings in songs like “Madness of Others,” the instrumentation carries through a consistent sense of dreamy ambiguity that floats across the whole album. The rhythm and instrumentation is at the crux of what Wake Owl hopes to achieve with The Private World of Paradise, creating something that is both light and perplexing at the same time. Cameron’s acute consciousness for the audience’s experience is evident when he explains that he wanted to create an album with a live audience in mind. For an intensely moody concert, the band also plans to use visuals during their performance to immerse concertgoers into the music’s suspended fluidity. With a new album to work with, it will be interesting to see Wake Owl improvise and experiment with their fresh material on tour. “We’re just kind of having fun and making a record we’re really… stoked to go play live,” he says. “(We) just try to put on the best show we can and let the new music translate that way.”

which features only two permanent members — Cameron and multiinstrumentalist Aiden Briscall. Their “ever-changing rhythm section” alters with each tour and record, but the two original members, who attended high school together, keep their sound consistent. It was their aligned opinions that drew them together and solidified a desire to continue collaborating. “We just share a lot of the same tastes in music,” Cameron says. “We were excited about taking (the songs) in the same direction, so it was pretty effortless to work together.” Compared to their EP, Cameron says he and Briscall were excited to dedicate a greater focus to live performance and showmanship with the new album. “I (was) just really challenging myself as a songwriter and trying to create a little bit more mystery in the songs than I had before with anything,” he says. “And at the same time, focusing on what we want the live show to be, so it could be a little bit more fun to perform and also mysterious at the same time and kind of leave more room for improvisation and being a musician on stage.” He explains a dichotomy between making music that’s simultaneously accessible and elusive — in fact, many people have told him that it takes a few listens to appreciate the different parts of the songs. Tracks such as “Candy” and “Days in the Sea” are easy to get into, with their relaxed, nautical vibes and soothing vocals, but then there are songs off the album like “Untitled” that sound

brew crew

written by Victoria Stowe

Stiegl Radler (Grapefruit) Brewery: Stiegl, Salzberg, Austria Available at: Sherbrooke Liquor Store (11819 St. Albert Trail)

You may have come across a beer in an orange-checkered can with a meagre 2.5% alcohol by volume (ABV). This is the Stiegl Radler. Although Stiegl is a popular Austrian label, the word “Radler” has German roots. Literally translated, it means “cyclist,” and the drink’s invention is widely attributed to an innkeeper named Franz Xaver Kugler. Legend has it Kugler arranged for the construction of a bike trail through the forest from Munich to his pub. One fateful day in 1922, 13,000 cyclists descended upon his inn demanding beer. To quench the

thirst of the demanding customers, Kugler was forced to dilute the beer with lemon soda — similar to the British “Shandy.” However, the addition of grapefruit to beer is not as “radical” as you might think. Some varieties of hops, such as Cascade and Chinook, can impart grapefruit-like flavours in the brewing process. Thus the soda and the hops work synergistically to create fruity, citrus notes that are incredibly refreshing. This ready-to-drink beer cocktail pours a hazy light orange, similar to the plaid pattern on the label. It’s slightly sweet, without the cloying syrupiness of soda. This makes it an excellent gateway beer for those new to the brews. The finish encompasses the traits of a citrusy wheat beer. Overall, I recommend you find a source of this heavenly nectar, and keep it on your beer radar.



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Volume 104, Issue 26

Coming Out Monologues emotional and powerful theatre REVIEW

The Coming Out Monologues

written by

Terah Jans, Billy, Karen Hofmann, Joshua Baton, Pony Meyer and Connor Yuzwekno-Martin

DIRECTED BY Lindsay Ruth Hunt STARRING Terah Jans, Billy, Karen

Hofmann, Joshua Baton, Pony Meyer and Connor Yuzwekno-Martin


Ran Friday, Feb. 28 at 7:30 p.m. and Saturday, March 1 at 2:30 p.m.

WHERE Dewey’s HOW MUCH Free Paige Gorsak

Arts & Culture Editor @Paigegorsak Dressed in a rainbow knitted sweater vest, an elderly man welcomes a rosycheeked, crowded audience to the third annual edition of The Coming Out Monologues. In from the cold and sequestered together in a space of compassion and understanding, this audience will experience a coming out. Taking to the stage are six performers who identify as something other than the standard gender and sexual orientation norms. But whether that’s trans, gay, queer or another term, it’s not the diction that matters. This isn’t the first time Terah Jans, Billy, Karen Hofmann, Connor Yuzwekno-Martin, Pony Meyer and Josh Baton have shared their identities. But these recollections of their


histories — of their first recognitions of being different and their first disclosures — reinforce an unwavering message of acceptance and pride. It’s this feeling that blankets the room through the nearly two-hour show, easing each performer’s nervous tensions and soothing the audience’s bated breath. All six stories are grounded in youthful experiences of dysphoria: growing up gay, growing up unhappy in their bodies, growing up Deaf. All six narrators illustrate a fear to be themselves with their families and in

a society that doesn’t always understand or appreciate difference. The vulnerability the performers extend to the strangers staring up at them is powerful, and it’s hardly a surprise that this is the third year in a row that a version of this performance has been staged on campus. The original 2012 showing grew out of collaborations between the Department of Nursing and the Faculties of Arts and Education, with the 2013 showing expanding on the original. This year’s performance goes even further into new territory, bringing

in the voices of new performers and with them, new perspectives on life after coming out. Seated in a row on the small Dewey’s stage, each individual stands up in turn to share excerpts from their lives. The other performers remain seated behind them or take part in the story — as props, parents, friends, lovers. From Jans’ memories of itchy rompers and craved blue trucks to Billy’s dysphoric family relations and the pain of Hofmann’s mother’s rejection, the monologues are heavy. The memories of abuse, struggles

with identity and the wounds of broken relationships hold the audience in a transient space of empathy and fear. But each story, however dark, comes to a present moment of peace. As Meyer speaks of the power of their drag troupe and Baton reveals the support his family offered him when he came out, the emotional charge of pride and perseverance is never absent. The ASL interpreters that facilitate the stories contribute too, challenging accessibility norms and raising awareness about the variety of ways we can understand one another. Even when nerves creep in and lines are forgotten or cues are missed, the audience is held in the power of vulnerability. Mistakes, if they happen, are part of the magic, and part of the show’s effectiveness. The performers are strangers, some with no stage experience, but they’re people that recognize the bonds that form when guards are let down and intimacy is shared. Touching moments occurred frequently in the Saturday rendition of the show, as the actors exchanged smiles of encouragement while trading places or when watching one another perform. This spirit of community extends to the audience too, where watchers are tightly packed, shoulders brushing and bags touching. A part of Pride Week that brings generations of LGBTQ individuals together to tell the stories of how they came out, the subject matter of the show will be familiar to some. But this doesn’t mean the stories are any less important. With their stories of loss and hope, The Coming Out Monologues create an atmosphere thick with emotion — but also with pride.

Paris is Burning introduces New York ball culture of the ‘80s FILM REVIEW

Paris is Burning DIRECTED BY Jennie Livingston STARRING Pepper LaBeija, Dorian

Corey, Kim Pendavis and Octavia St. Laurent


Friday, March 7 at 5 p.m. Education South 129, University of Alberta



Karla Comanda ARts & culture Staff

Mapping the real life experiences of the African-American and Latino queer community, as well as its seductive drag ball culture, Jennie Livingston’s documentary Paris is Burning is a humanizing and heartbreaking exposé of the culture’s pioneers and their experiences. Livingston packs a lot into the hour-long documentary, delving into the personal lives of the individuals involved in the ball scene. For those who are unfamiliar, the film provides a revealing introduction to the subculture, which fuses drag with pageantry into something like a competitive fashion show. It grew to prominence in the ‘80s in Harlem, where individuals and groups competed for trophies and for honour. From the surrogate families or “Houses” LGBT indivdiuals of colour formed in this era, to the specific technique of their craft, no aspect of this period is left unexamined by Livingston. Alternating between interviews with famed members and

footage of the balls, she both reveals and teaches, showcasing the poverty, racism and homophobia the community faces, as well as the extreme artistry of ball craft. Voguing in particular figures prominently in the film. Originated by members of the queer community of colour such as Willi Ninja, the stylized dance emulates modelling poses and was extremely competitive in ball culture. The scenes where contestants show off their moves are riveting eye-catchers, as the dancers freeze from one pose to the next. The cast of characters in Paris is Burning bring an understated humour to the film’s interview portions. Prominent figures such as Dorian Corey and Angie Xtravaganza explain the ins and outs of the trends within the ball scene, quipping memorable one-liners such as, “Shade comes from reading. Reading came first,” and “Now you wanna talk about reading? Let’s talk about reading.” Shading and reading have become more popular internet jargon within various communities as forms of insults, although this reference may escape some viewers. Livingston’s structure for the film, including a lack of voiceovers and a comfortable atmosphere in the oneon-one interviews, allows her protagonists to shine. As they express their thoughts and personalities, they speak to the greater movement that was growing and building around them. In particular, Octavia St. Laurent is a captivating character with her beauty and ambition to be successful in the fashion world. She aspires to be a like her idol, supermodel Paulina Porizkova. However, the documentary isn’t a

comedy on the whole. Livingston’s interviews reveal heartbreaking stories of men and women, both queer and trans, being disowned from their families and trying to make ends meet with prostitution and shoplifting. In one memorable scene, two teenagers, aged 13 and 15, are hanging out with one another outside a club at around 2:30 a.m. Their presence in a dangerous part of town without accompaniment reinforces the harsh reality of isolation that young members of the LGBTQ community face. Stories like Pepper LaBeija’s further showcase the injustice, like when he recounts how his mother tried to throw away his dresses after finding out that he was gay. The violence and fear experienced by the LGBTQ community in this era is weaved throughout the film, reminding audiences of the price these pioneers paid to make progress and live freely. Venus Xtravaganza is one of the most memorable characters in the film, what with her desire to fully transition into being a woman and her experiences with transphobia after one of her clients threatened her after discovering she wasn’t a cisgendered woman. Her story and experiences stick with the audience long after the credits have rolled. But while the subject matter of the documentary is bleak at times, Paris is Burning ultimately fosters a sense of community, and showcases the way that members of the queer community of colour overcame their struggles. Although things have changed a lot since the movie’s release almost 24 years ago, the diversity and different layers within the film always makes it timely with the LGBTQ experience.


sports 26




Sports Editor Atta Almasi Phone 780.248.1509

March 5, 2014

Email Twitter @scarborobluffer

Volunteer Sports meetings Wednesdays at 5 p.m. in 3-04 SUB. C’mon by!



Gold-en BEARS After succesive years of qualifying for nationals but leaving empty-handed, the Bears volleyball team finally won their first CIS title in five years.


Volley Bears put on golden performance VOLLEYBALL RECAP CIS Men’s Volleyball National Championships Friday, Feb. 28 — Sunday, March 1 Calgary, Alta. Atta Almasi

SPORTS EDITOR @SCARBOROBLUFFER It’s been said that good things come to those who wait. For the seniors on the Bears volleyball team, they sure waited. In what was a fitting end to a season in which his team won their last eight games to clinch both their first conference and national championship banners in four and five years respectively, the Bears were able to redeem themselves after years of disappointment and finally claim their rightful spot at the top of Canadian men’s volleyball. Senior setter and fifth-year Jarron Mueller described the momentum that his team rode during the final weekends of the season and into the playoffs as a testament to the overall team chemistry and effort that the team had throughout much of the year.

“It’s unbelievable,” Mueller said following his team’s three-set victory against the Western University Mustangs on Sunday, clinching the program’s seventh national championship. “It’s been a long trek — five years for a lot of us — since we won the last one, so (we’re) really happy. “All the work paid off and the stars aligned and everyone started to peak at the right time ... and that was definitely a display of that happening, so it’s kind of cool for things to fall together like that.” After finishing the regular season riding on the coattails of a threegame winning streak, the Bears cruised through their Canada West semifinal matchup against the Thompson Rivers WolfPack to face the 21–2 Trinity Western Spartans for the CanWest championship banner. With the daunting prospect of having to beat a team who had been undefeated at home all season on their home court, the Bears exceeded all expectations and swept the Spartans in three straight sets to claim their first conference title in four years. Following their victory in B.C., the Bears travelled south along the QE2 to Calgary where they made quick work of both the Quebec-based teams — the Montreal Carabins and Laval Rouge et Or — that they faced in the first two rounds to advance to

the national finals against the Western University Mustangs. Led by the strong play of CIS second team All-Canadian Ryley Barnes and a veteran squad that seemed tired of early exits at nationals in years previous, head coach Terry Danyluk’s squad was able to rise to the occasion and sweep their second consecutive championship game in as many weeks as they claimed the program’s seventh overall title and first since 2009. For Mueller and a few of his teammates who got to finally experience winning at nationals, gettting to play in their final matches as a Golden Bear in front of numerous friends and family at the Jack Simpson Gym on the University of Calgary campus. It was an experience Mueller said made winning the national championship that much more special. “It was the perfect way to go out,” Mueller said. “It couldn’t have happened a better way. So it’s the best, the cherry on top. It’s a great way to end and it’s going to be something (we’re) always going to remember. “It made all the difference. We had a big section of the crowd and it was all alumni and friends and family, and they were paramount to us winning as well. They were so energetic and so supportive.” It was with those same fans that

Bears Athlete of the Week WRITTEN by Atta Almasi MICHAEL ASSELSTINE — WRESTLING

MAT-ADOR Asselstine won gold and outstanding wrestler.


After clinching a gold medal at the Canada West championships two weekends ago, and only 12 months removed from being named the U of A’s male athlete of the year, Michael Asselstine proved why he was one of the top wrestlers in the country again. He won his first ever gold medal at nationals by defeating Concordia University’s Vincent De Marinis in the 61 kg. weight category and helped propel the Bears to an overall silver medal finish. Asslestine, who is a thirdyear Education major and native Edmontonian, was also named the tournament’s most outstanding wrestler.

made the trek down to Cowtown whom Mueller and his teammates chose to share their special moment with after they won the national title. And even though they played an aggressive game on the court all week, the 6’5” setter admits that “there was definitely a few tears shed” once they clinched the banner. “We basically just spent time with each other — spent time with teammates, spent time with the people that supported (us) and (celebrated) this with the entire community that made us win a national championship ... and helped us get to this ultimate goal.” Concerning what kind of wisdom he’d like to impart on some of his younger teammates who may not fully appreciate the amount of frustration and disappointment some of the graduating seniors had to endure over the years before finally achieving their goal, Mueller advises “To just enjoy playing and enjoy your teammates. Enjoy playing with them and enjoy the moment that you’re in, then the rest of it will take care of itself. I think a lot of times athletes put too much pressure on themselves or winning — things that don’t (ultimately) matter — but if you just go out there, compete and have fun, enjoy your teammates then the rest will take care of itself.”

82 – 77 83 – 65 PANDAS BASKETBALL

79 – 48 97 – 44 BEARS HOCKEY

5–1 6–2

Pandas Athlete of the Week WRITTEN by Atta Almasi MARLEN FIGUEROA – WRESTLING

Although the Pandas finished just shy of the podium in the overall team results at the CIS national wrestling championships last weekend in Fredericton, one female wrestler was able to bring a gold medal back for the U of A. Fourthyear wrestler and defending 2013 CIS silver medalist in the 63 kg category, Marlen Figueroa was able to improve on last year’s result with a stunning performance in the 67 kg weight class final against Marissa Sorrell from the Brock University Badgers to clinch the title and the gold medal for the U of A — one of only two gold medals for the U of A at the tournament. GO FIGURE Figueroa won gold in the women’s 67 kg .




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Volume 104, Issue 26

Depth and experience key to Hoop Bears success heading into Final 8 BASKETBALL PREVIEW CIS Men’s Basketball Final 8 Friday, March 7 — Sunday, March 9 Sportsnet 360 Connor Bradley SPORTS STAFF

With a victory over the University of Victoria Vikes at the Saville Centre last weekend, the Golden Bears basketball team clinched their second Canada West conference title and second trip to nationals in three years, and helped solify themselves as legitimate contenders for this upcoming weekend’s Final 8, which will be hosted at the Canadian Tire Centre in Ottawa. With four players on the team — Todd Bergen-Henengouwen, Jordan Baker, Sahr Saffa and Rob Dewar — all having national championship game experience under their belt and a supporting cast that features great talent and skill, the Bears are confident that they have a team that can live up to their big expectations heading into nationals. “I think our team has great depth,� Bears forward and Picture Butte, Alta native Todd Bergen-Henengouwen said. “There are numerous people on our team that can have big games for us on any given night.� That depth was on full display in the CanWest championship game against the UVic Vikes, as the Bears’ bench combined for 73 minutes

and 35 per cent of the Bears’ scoring during last Saturday’s game. “It also helps to have depth in the three-game weekends because we can spread out playing time and guys aren’t as tired and worn down as they would be if they were playing 30-plus minutes a game,� Bergen-Henengouwen said. “Our team chemistry is great and we are very supportive and positive of one another which really helps in tough, tight game scenarios.� Having great support off the bench will be crucial for the Bears, or any team for that matter, hoping to hoist the CIS national championship banner this weekend. Since the team which will ultimately lift the W.P. McGee Trophy will have to play three games three days in a row, the schedule is something the Bears feel plays to their advantage, as their deep bench has consistently been the difference-maker for this team this season. “This team is deeper than the team we brought (to nationals) in 2012,� Jordan Baker, a Canada West all-star and current holder of several Golden Bears basketball records, said. “More scoring options and a more balanced offensive attack makes us tough to guard. Secondly, we are more experienced after that run two years ago, so that serves us well.� The Bears open their quest for national championship glory this weekend against the Saint Mary’s Huskies, who, apart from being the Atlantic University Sport conference champions, also present a tough first test for the green and gold considering they also have the sixth seed

heading into the tournament. They possess many talented scorers and athletes that could pose potential challenges for the Bears, according to head coach Barnaby Craddock. “SMU is a very athletic team, with multiple guys that can break you down off the dribble,� Craddock said. They won their conference tournament, so it will be a battle between two of the top teams in the country. We will need to play well and work as a unit if we are going to have success.� Barring an unlikely and historic upset in the first round of the national championship tournament, it’s almost a guarantee that the winner of the quarterfinal matchup between the Golden Bears and Huskies will have to play the Carleton University Ravens, who — despite losing by a buzzer-beating shot to their crosstown rivals, the University of Ottawa Gee Gees, in the Ontario conference finals last weekend — are still the defending champions and the winners of nine of the past 11 W.P. McGee trophies. The team has also compiled an overall record of 230–10 over that same period of time, including a 55game winning streak that only came to an end last Saturday against the Gee-Gees. Despite that fact, the Bears are adamant that their sole preparation and focus must be on the Huskies in their first-round game. “We are lucky to have a very senior group that is focused on competing and playing well at the national tournament,� Craddock said. “I think our team is very focused right now and ...(we’ll) just keep playing hard and as a team.�

FINAL 8 #1 Ottawa Gee-Gees Record: 23–2 Conference: OUA champions

REACHING FOR THE TOP The Bears head to the Final 8 after winning CanWest.


#8 Saskatchewan Huskies Record: 18–8 Conference: Canada West bronze medalists



2014/15 Line Editors

#4 Victoria Vikes

Record: 22–5 Conference: Canada West finalists

#3 Alberta Golden Bears

Record: 24–3 2012–13 finish: Canada West champions

#2 Carleton Ravens Record: 24–1 2012–13 finish: OUA finalists

#5 McGill Redmen Record: 16–2 2012–13 finish: RSEQ champions

#6 Saint Mary’s Huskies

Record: 16–6 2012–13 finish: AUS champions

#7 McMaster Marauders Record: 20–5 2012–13 finish: OUA bronze medalists

The Gateway is accepting applications for the following Line Editor positions for the 2014/15 publishing year:

7G>>͝F;?6BAE;F;A@E ΄?M]MUW]U6QWc^a($1759.10/month) ΄@Rfb6QWc^a($1556.22/month) ΄A_W]W^]6QWc^a($1462.47/month) ΄A]ZW]R6QWc^a($1556.22/month) ΄2acb̿4dZcdaR6QWc^a($1462.47/month) ΄E_^acb6QWc^a($1462.47/month) ΄BV^c^6QWc^a($1462.47/month)

B2DF͝F;?6BAE;F;A@E ΄5RbWU]̿Ba^QdPcW^]6QWc^a($993.53/month) ΄?dZcW\RQWM6QWc^a($993.53/month)



The employment term runs from May 1, 2014 to April 30, 2015. Editors may not apply for more than three line editor positions without special permission of the line editor selection committee.

"QQMJDBUJPOEFBEMJOF.BSDI BUQN Applicants should submit a cover letter, resume, and portfolio to Gateway Business Manager Ryan Bromsgrove  rCJ[!HBUFXBZVBMCFSUBDB W E â&#x20AC;&#x2122; R E A LWAYS O N L I N E AT G T W Y.C A


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March 5, 2014

Puck Bears face Dinos for spot at national championship tourney HOCKEY PREVIEW Canada West Championships: #1 Bears vs. #2 Calgary Friday, March 7 at 7 p.m., Saturday March 8 at 6 p.m. and Sunday, March 9 at 6 p.m. if necessary Clare Drake Arena (87 Avenue and 115 Street) Atta Almasi

SPORTS EDITOR @SCARBOROBLUFFER It was only three weeks ago that the two perennial rivals — the University of Alberta Golden Bears and University of Calgary Dinos — faced off in a home-and-home series in the final weekend of the season.That aeries determined who would earn home ice advantage for this weekend’s Canada West championship, after both teams were successful in their semifinal match ups. Now that both teams are coming off of second-round victories over the UBC Thunderbirds and University of Manitoba Bisons respectively this past weekend, the CanWest final is set to pit the two teams against each other, who are arguably the best two in the country. This will not only decide who gets a chance at a conference championship banner, but also who will receive one of the coveted spot at the CIS national championship tournament two weeks from now in Saskatoon. “Calgary’s a good team. They’re

well coached and they’re ... a strong team, (and) they were ranked number one for most of the year,” Bears head coach Ian Herbers said. “We’ve played them eight times this year, so they know us, we know them and we know what to expect, and it’s going to be a good (series). They’re going to come out, work hard, be physical, disciplined, (play) a detailed game, and we’re going to try and do the same thing.”

“Unfortunately, one of the best two teams isn’t going to nationals ... (but) on the other hand, it’s going to make (for) really good hockey.” IAN HERBERS


Following last week’s two-game sweep over the UBC Thunderbirds on home ice that extended his team’s winning streak to nine games — which included a twogame series sweep of the Dinos in the last weekend of the season — Herbers said that his team’s ability to produce strong starts and control the game early were key factors in their success and will be crucial if they are to obtain any victories over their in-province rivals. “(I was) very satisfied with the way we came out (against UBC),” Herbers said.“We left nothing for chance. We set the tone, the pace, the tempo and we dictated the series. We didn’t give UBC a chance to get their game going.

“(Against Calgary) we’re going to need a good, strong start ... but we’re going to have to sustain it through six periods, nine periods or however long it takes. We’re going to have be consistent throughout. If we have any lapses, it could end up costing us.” Herbers also argued that special teams will be key for the Bears, noting that his team’s taking of some “undisciplined penalties” in their second game against UBC last weekend are things they “can’t afford to do against Calgary.” In terms of how both teams match up and what fans heading to Clare Drake Arena can expect on Friday night, Herbers said that the games should be entertaining and well worth the price of admission, given the skill level and close contests that the two teams have had throughout the year. “For both teams, it comes down to team strength. Both teams play very well, both teams have depth, both teams have good forwards, good defence and good goaltending, so it’s going to be a little thing here or there that’s going to be the differencemaker,” Herbers said. He adds that that the enitre series might come down to a “blocked shot,” hit or key turnover. Herbers believes that his team will be able to be successful if they focus on executing the small things. “Unfortunately, one of the best two teams isn’t going to nationals,” Herbers said. “Us and Calgary have battled for one and two all season long, and that’s the downside of it. (But) on the other hand, it’s going to make (for) really good hockey.”

BATTLE OF ALBERTA The Bears and Dinos have consistently been two of the top teams in the country all season long. FILE PHOTO —RANDY SAVOIE

match up COMPILED by Atta Almasi
























Volume 104, Issue 26

Athletics FEE Cameron Lewis

SPORTS STAFF @COOOM As a result of provincial government budget cuts, the faculty of Physical Education and Recreation is facing the potential loss of staff, services and potentially the cut of varsity teams. In response to this, the faculty, along with the Students’ Union and Graduate Students’ Association, have agreed to a new increase to the Athletics and Recreation fee, with students voting on a plebiscite regarding the increase during the SU elections on March 5 and 6. One of the major changes that comes with the proposed A&R fee is the introduction of free games for students at the U of Awho currently pay one of the highest gate ticket prices in the country. Along with no cost increases to the existing campus recreation program and continued access to new and improved fitness and wellness facilities under the umbrella of the Students’ Union, free admission for U of A students to all Golden Bears and Pandas regular season games is something all sides have committed to if the fee increase is implemented. Currently,each varsity team hosts one legacy game per season where students can enter free of charge. In early November, the Golden Bears hockey team hosted their annual legacy game against UBC, and featured free food — provided by the SU — and live music. Legacy games for other varsity sports teams are amongst the highest attended games each year for the Bears and Pandas. To the right are the results of an online poll conducted by The Gateway sports staff over the past three weeks, which saw 50 students at the U of A give their responses regarding the the A&R fee proposal.

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Design & Production Editor Anthony Goertz Phone 780.492.6663

March 5, 2014

Email Twitter @GoertzAnthony

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Volume 104, Issue 26

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March 5, 2014

The Gateway: Volume 104 Issue 26  

The March 5, 2014 issue of The Gateway

The Gateway: Volume 104 Issue 26  

The March 5, 2014 issue of The Gateway