the carillon The University of Regina Students’ Newspaper since 1962
Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013 | Volume 55, Issue 21 | carillonregina.com
cover the staff editor-in-chief
dietrich neu email@example.com business manager shaadie musleh firstname.lastname@example.org production manager julia dima email@example.com copy editor michelle jones firstname.lastname@example.org news editor taouba khelifa email@example.com a&c editor paul bogdan firstname.lastname@example.org sports editor autumn mcdowell email@example.com op-ed editor edward dodd firstname.lastname@example.org visual editor arthur ward email@example.com ad manager neil adams firstname.lastname@example.org technical coordinator jonathan hamelin email@example.com news writer a&c writer sports writer photographers olivia mason tenielle bogdan
arts & culture
Languages. 4 In 2000, the United Nations dedicated Feb. 21 as the International Mother Language Day. With hundreds of languages spoken around the world today, just how important is language to the cultures and traditions of our planet?
I shot the sheriff. 6 But I did not shoot the deputies (I had to). At the risk of jinxing it, the worst of winter is over. And, what better to signal the coming springtime than new music from Regina's Nick Faye and the Deputies who just released the Harvest EP.
Shitflix. 16 Wow, Canadian Netflix sure is awful when it comes to sports movies, but there are a few diamonds in the sea of crap. For example, Friday Night Lights and The Longest Yard are on there, both gems. But, the shitty ones far outweigh the good ones.
Wrestling no more. 18 The international Olympic committee made the right decision in getting rid of wrestling. Basically, everyone hates it. I mean, what’s there not to hate? Grappling, grunts, sweatiness. Oh, wait, what’s there not to love? Oh well, good riddance wrestling.
kristen mcewen sophie long kyle leitch braden dupuis
marc messett emily wright
contributors this week taryn riemer paige kreutzwieser kris klein britton gray robyn tocker alexandra mortensen michael chmielewski rob ern jocelyn marsden jenna shiels kayla mckinnon sharon engbrecht amie nyhus debby adair
the paper THE CARILLON BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Dietrich Neu, Kent Peterson, Edward Dodd, Ed Kapp, Tim Jones, Madeline Kotzer, Anna Weber 227 Riddell Centre University of Regina - 3737 Wascana Parkway Regina, SK, Canada, S4S 0A2 www.carillonregina.com Ph: (306) 586-8867 Fax: (306) 586-7422 Printed by Transcontinental Publishing Inc., Saskatoon
The Carillon welcomes contributions to its pages. Correspondence can be mailed, e-mailed, or dropped off in person. Please include your name, address and telephone number on all letters to the editor. Only the author’s name, title/position (if applicable) and city will be published. Names may be withheld upon request at the discretion of the Carillon. Letters should be no more then 350 words and may be edited for space, clarity, accuracy and vulgarity. The Carillon is a wholly autonomous organization with no affiliation with the University of Regina Students’ Union. Opinions expressed in the pages of the Carillon are expressly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the Carillon Newspaper Inc. Opinions expressed in advertisements appearing in the Carillon are those of the advertisers and not necessarily of The Carillon Newspaper Inc. or its staff. The Carillon is published no less than 11 times each semester during the fall and winter semesters and periodically throughout the summer. The Carillon is published by The Carillon Newspaper Inc., a non–profit corporation.
In keeping with our reckless, devil-may-care image, our office has absolutely no concrete information on the Carillon’s formative years readily available. What follows is the story that’s been passed down from editor to editor for over forty years.
In the late 1950s, the University of Regina planned the construction of several new buildings on the campus grounds. One of these proposed buildings was a bell tower on the academic green. If you look out on the academic green today, the first thing you’ll notice is that it has absolutely nothing resembling a bell tower. The University never got a bell tower, but what it did get was the Carillon, a newspaper that serves as a symbolic bell tower on campus, a loud and clear voice belonging to each and every student. Illegitimi non carborundum.
So, now that reading week is over, we provide you with our 2013 literary supplement. Ta da! Despite that, we hope you can take some time out of the inevitable shitshow that is the first week back from break and enjoy some of the great stories and poems from talented University of Regina students. Dig it. Page 9.
photos news SCIC a&c Tenielle Bogdan sports Arthur Ward
op-ed Arthur Ward cover Arthur Ward
News Editor: Taouba Khelifa firstname.lastname@example.org the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
Profit driven volunteer ventures Does volunteering overseas cause more harm than good?
The five panelists at the Feb. 20 Gathering of Global Minds
taouba khelifa news editor Volunteering abroad can be an exciting and challenging experience. Many students find themselves drawn to the idea of leaving home, exploring new cultures, and making a difference in less developed places. But, the concept of voluntourism - volunteering and touring a new country has raised much controversy about the actual benefits it provides. On Feb. 20, the Saskatchewan Council for International Cooperation (SCIC) hosted its second installment of a monthly discussion series called “A Gathering of Global Minds.” The purpose of the series is to engage the Regina community in thinking about important social issues around the world. This month, the discussion focused on the harms and benefits of voluntourism. The discussion, led by five panelists, explored voluntourism through the different experiences and perspectives of each of the speakers. Sydney Victor, Valerie Poulin and Eda Pineda are all current participants in the national volunteering program, Canada World Youth (CWY). They each shared with the audience the challenges and lessons they encountered through their six-month volunteering experience. Canada World Youth, founded in 1971, is an international education program for people between the ages of 15 to 35. The program is “dedicated to enriching the lives of young people that have a desire to become informed and active global citizens [by helping] youth experience the world for themselves, learn about other cultures and diverse Canadian communities while developing leadership and communication skills.”
CWY enrolls participants in a six-month volunteering program, where 3 months are spent volunteering in a community in Canada, and three other months are spent volunteering at a location overseas. Through this “reciprocal exchange,” participants are able to give back to their own communities, and to communities around the world. As part of their volunteer experiences, Canadian natives Victor and Poulin spent three months volunteering in Nicaragua with local community organizations and charities. Now, the two are in Saskatoon finishing the last three months of the program. Pineda, a Nicaraguan native, began her internship in her home country, and is now finishing the program in Saskatoon along with Victor and Poulin. While these three women have had the chance to explore the culture of Nicaragua and Canada, panelist and international studies graduate Sasha Hanson-Pastran says people must be critical of voluntourism, no matter how great the opportunities sound. “Voluntourism as an industry is huge. It’s so diverse - in terms of the time frame that people go, the kinds of activities, the kinds of organizations that send voluntourists ... There’s so many things that fall under that umbrella,” she said. While Hanson-Pastran admits that CWY is a leader in providing ethical and sustainable voluntourism opportunities, not all organizations are as honest and reliable. What distinguishes CWY from other organizations, she says, is their longer time-frame programs, and a focus on relationship building, international service learning, and encouragement of participants’ critical thinking and self-reflection. “[Voluntourism can be] a form of colonialism, and that comes
from the history of both tourism and development as industries that are continuing from a history of colonization, that have the same kind of global flow of people, of money, of power,” HansonPastran explained. While students may have good intentions signing up to volunteer overseas, Hanson-Pastran says people need to really ask themselves whether they are going to benefit the country they plan to volunteer at, or whether they are going to satisfy their own feeling of privilege. “People have very good intentions, things like making a difference, doing something worthwhile, and contributing to others. This often disguises as a colonial development agenda, and at the same time enforces unreflective volunteer practices. People want to redefine their own superiority and recreate those colonial relationships, when they go in with those intentions,” she said. Instead of this volunteer model, Hanson-Pastran suggest that voluntourism organizations move away from these colonial, “short-term, profit-driven ventures,” focusing instead on “mutually beneficial” models where the host community is at the center of the equation, and where volunteers are able to critically engage and learn throughout their experience, and benefit the community with their skills. Andrew Wahba, also one of the panelists, agrees with HansonPastran’s critique of the voluntourism industry. Wahba is the founder of the international volunteering website True Travellers Society – an organization he established “out of frustration with the ‘volunteer, but first pay us lots of money’ organizations.” True Travellers Society offers a way to directly connect to meaningful international travel and volunteer opportunities, eliminat-
ing the need for the expensive “middle-man.” According to Wahba, many organizations have turned voluntourism into a profit-making business, changing volunteer opportunities into expensive luxuries rather than educational platforms. In just a few clicks, Wahba encourages travelers to get connected to locations over the internet, search websites and blogs, read about the organizations and their mandates, and ask people about their experiences. “Voluntourism has changed now to businesses in a lot of countries. There’s a lot of good and bad in these opportunities. If you’re going to go, do your research before you go, and make your own judgements,” he said. Volunteering Abroad
Finding an ethical and sustainable organization to volunteer at is only half the challenge of voluntourism. After securing a good volunteer position, students and travelers are met with many more challenges as they embark on their international trips. From language barriers to culture shock, Victor, Poulin, and Pineda shared their challenges and difficulties with the audience - both the humorous and the inspiring. Poulin, for instance, was shocked at the amount of dogs she saw without homes in Nicaragua. “In Nicaragua and in Canada, it’s very different. Here, a dog is like a baby...you need to give him some love. There, no. You don’t give love to the dog. In the streets, you have dogs everywhere,” she said. Originally from a small town in Quebec, Poulin said that her experience with CWY was something that opened her eyes, not only to the culture and politics of
Nicaragua, but to the diversity and history of Canada as well. “I think my volunteer experience in Canada is very important because I rediscovered this country I discovered a lot about Aboriginal people. I didn’t meet a lot of Aboriginal people before this program ... I am so glad to have two friends from Nunavut,” Poulin shared. Making those national and international connections was something that Victor also enjoyed and appreciated about the program. “When I first heard about this program, I thought it was going to be this amazing program and I was going to make a really big difference in a developing country. But once I began the program I realized that wasn't the reality of it. CWY is a program designed for young people who are eager to learn about new cultures and languages, and who want to explore new realities. It’s an opportunity for young people to gain volunteer experience and also gain knowledge about your inner self ... I gained two new families, one in Nicaragua and one in Saskatoon,” he said. Language barriers, culture shock, and lifestyle adaptation aside, the three women agree that their volunteer work both in Nicaragua and in Canada has helped connect to the world, on a larger scale. At the end of the day, says Pineda, if there’s one thing she learned, it that humans all smile in the same language. “I learned how important it is to give a smile to another person. It gives you a feeling of being in good company. You feel happy to give and share happiness, and have that companionship.”
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
Celebrating the power of languages Regina celebrates International Mother Language Day kristen mcewen news writer Maintaining the ability to speak more than one language can be a challenge, especially if your mother language isn’t spoken by the people around you. The United Nations has declared Feb. 21 as International Mother Language Day. According to the UN, the day has been observed since February 2000 to “promote linguistic and cultural diversity and multilingualism.” The Saskatchewan Organization for Heritage Language (SOHL) held a celebration on Feb. 24, to recognize the many different languages that are spoken in Regina. “[International Language Day is] a really nice opportunity,” SOHL executive director Tamara Ruzic said. “It’s being celebrated all over the world. It’s a perfect opportunity to showcase multiculturalism and the diversity that exists in the world, and in our case, that exists in Regina.” The 10th annual celebration featured a number of guest speakers and entertainers. “The Rock Cree Project” featured Cree and English music performed by Bill Cook, a language instructor at the First Nations University of Canada, and singer and filmmaker Tessa Desnomie. SOHL runs a number of lan-
guage schools in the Regina, Saskatoon, Lumsden, Kipling and North Battleford. Languages taught at these schools include Arabic, Bangla, Cree, Filipino, Greek, Spanish, Uzbek and Yoruba. Ruzic said the language schools are open to people of all ages. Credit courses and travel courses are also available at the schools. Ruzic said learning a new language can become more challenging as people get older. As a refugee from Yugoslavia, she arrived in Canada when she was 10 years old. She said she quickly picked up English as a second language and lost her Serbian accent. For her parents, Ruzic noted the accent is still noticeable on long “a” sounds and the word “the.” “It’s always hard to learn a new language, but it’s even
harder depending on the age of the learner,” she said. “They always say children, it’s the easiest for them to soak things up like a sponge.” Ruzic added that she had friends who came to Canada when they were 14 but still have accents to day. “Fourteen tends to be the cutoff age,” she said. “It’s kind of neat how that works.” Many groups from the language schools in Regina performed songs and dances, which reflected the cultures from where the languages are spoken. The Bangla School of Regina performed a song that represents Feb. 21 and is performed all over Bangladesh throughout the month of February. “[The celebration is] to show the talent and give exposure to these heritage language schools
who are doing so much on so little resources,” she said. “They really get modest funding from the government and our organization. A lot of dedicated volunteers are giving lots of hours to keep these schools [going].” International Mother Language Day began in 1962, after students in Dhaka, Bangladesh were shot to death by police officers during a demonstration that aimed to recognize Bengali as one of the two national languages of the region. The City of Regina declared Feb. 20 - 26 to be International Heritage Language Week. According to Ruzic, SOHL wrote to the city and requested the proclamation to be whichever week Feb. 21 lands on. This year, the City of Saskatoon also recognized the week. Ruzic said it’s good to have
recognition through these celebrations, particularly for languages that are in danger of fading away. “It’s nice to see recognition for those languages, because in our province, and country - there’s obviously French and English - but there’s not a whole lot of recognition for other languages,” she said. “Especially in our province, we need to provide recognition for all of these other languages, [including] Aboriginal languages, especially when so many of them are in danger of becoming extinct. It’s important to have events that celebrate languages and multiculturalism and just remind the public how important it is to keep them alive.”
U Ottawa kicks off lecture series commemorating bilingualism and biculturalism in Canada Series of lectures to celebrate 50th anniversary of Royal Commission jesse mellott The Fulcrum (University of Ottawa)
OTTAWA (CUP) — The University of Ottawa, in conjunction with the Office of the Commissioner of Official Languages and universities across the country, is helping to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Royal Commission on Bilingualism and Biculturalism in Canada. The commission was established in 1963 by André Laurendeau and Davidson Dunton in order to study and address the language and cultural policies between anglophones and francophones that existed in Canada at the time. Its recommendations also led to the creation of the Official Languages Act and the Office of the Commissioner of Official Languages (OCOL). According to Carsten Quell, director of policy at the OCOL, the commission itself addressed Canadians’ concerns about the nature of the country’s linguistic and cultural duality. “What the commission did was it went across the country and essentially heard from
French and English, Canada’s two national languages, commemorated at U of O (pictured above) Canadians what they felt were the issues surrounding official languages or surrounding linguistic duality, and what they proposed to ensure the Canadian confederation stays strong,” he said. Quell added that the purpose of the anniversary commemora-
tion is to recognize the relevance of the royal commission and the impact its recommendations have had on Canada’s institutions like the OCOL and bilingual universities like the U of O. “If the [commissioner’s] office is a child of the commission, I
guess in some ways you can say that the University of Ottawa is a child of the commission as well, or very much sees itself in the tradition of the commission,” he said. The commemoration will feature a series of lectures across the country, in Ottawa, Toronto,
Edmonton, Winnipeg, Montreal and Moncton. The first lecture took place Feb. 6, during which U of O president Allan Rock spoke about the effect the commission has had on the university and Canada as a whole. Rock noted that the U of O freed up some of its professors in 1963 to help the commission and put effort into its written submission that was completed the following year. “In the end, the university’s message to the commission was a simple one: If we can do it, this country can do it,” said Rock. “It won’t be perfect. It will be, by definition, a work in progress.” Rock also expressed his gratitude for the U of O’s inclusion in the lecture series. “We are therefore especially honoured that the [OCOL] asked us to partner with it in marking this important anniversary,” he said. The final lecture will take place at the U of O on June 17.
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
Change ain’t easy, but will come A look back at the Arab awakening, two years after its start taouba khelifa news editor [CURRENT AFFAIRS] According to the MerriamWebster dictionary, revolution can be defined as “a fundamental change in political organization; especially the overthrow or renunciation of one government or ruler and the substitution of another by the governed.” In December 2010, millions of people rose against the regimes that kept them, their parents, and their grandparents under strict systems of oppression. While the Arab spring began more than two years ago, the Middle East and North Africa remain in great unrest. Uncertainty for the future is unknown and many are unsure what the next weeks and months may bring. Despite this unpredictability, the people are continuing their fight for freedom and justice. But, the Arab awakening did not come without much despair and loss of life. On Dec. 19, 2010 Tunisian native Mohamed Bouazizi set himself on fire, after police confiscated his fruit and vegetable stall - the only source of income supporting him and his family. Only 26 years old, Bouaziz’s actions sparked the start of what has now become one of the biggest revolutions in the Middle East. Beyond just high unemployment rates, citizens of the region were fed up with the injustices, inequality, and dictatorial systems that had run their lives, and ruined their countries. From governmental corruption, to high food prices, to poverty and human rights violations, the Arab world woke up -- its people demanding their freedom. Citizens who, for generations, were afraid to speak out against their country’s dictatorships, saw a shift as people fought to bring the old regimes down. Tunisia paved the way for the revolution, and shortly thereafter,
Tunisia Capital: Tunis Dictator: Zine El Abidine Ben Ali Uprising lasted for: 3 weeks and 6 days Death toll: 338 Bahrain Capital: Manama Dictator: King Hamad Uprising lasted for: 2 years and 1 week (ongoing) Death toll: 93 +
Egypt, Libya, Syria, Bahrain, and Yemen followed suit, as thousands of people took to the streets in their cities and towns, calling on their rules to step down. Stepping from the comfort of their homes, and demanding these freedoms was not easy, as the world witnessed much of the harsh realities people face while fighting for their freedom. Emergency press conferences were held, where dictators like Syria’s Bashar Al-Asad called the protestors “troubled youth” and “uneducated thugs.” Libya’s late dictator Mammar Gaddafi labeled the protestors “cockroaches” and “alley rats.” Many of these leaders blamed hallucinogenic drugs for the uprisings, and some went so far as to blame Al Qaeda for creating terrorists in their countries. Apart from these labels, protestors, activists and journalists were also arrested, beaten, tortured, kidnapped, and killed, as they continued to fight for their rights and freedoms. As many were soon to find out, the price of freedom is not cheap. Overall, the United Nations estimated that more than 98,000 people have lost their lives to the revolution, with the numbers growing as more lives are lost every day. While Tunisia, Libya, and Egypt were successful in overthrowing their dictators, citizens and activists know that there is much work to be done still - recreating constitutions, establishing new democratic systems, and rebuilding cities and towns. T h e “fall of dictators and the promise of freedom and justice brings a time of division and doubt in the Middle East and North Africa,” said The Independent correspondent Kim Sengupta. But, hope, courage, and inspiration is at the heart of much of this revolution. “While there is much to be concerned about, the cynics are overlooking the significance and inherent difficulties of what has been achieved. Strongmen have been ousted; decades-old one-
Egypt Capital: Cairo Dictator: Hosni Mubarak Uprising lasted for: 2 weeks and 3 days Death toll: 846
Protestors in various city-center squares chant for freedom and democracy party systems have been abolished; establishments and taboos have been challenged; and political and economic reforms have been promised, with varying degrees of implementation,” said London-based writer and Arab commentator Sharif Nashashib. “Whether they like it or not, Arab leaders are being forced to heed the hopes, rights and grievances of their people, and to realize that suppressing them is
having the opposite effect intended. A region long thought to be immune to change has become the inspiration and catalyst for protest movements worldwide,” Nashashib continued. As the world continues to watch the Arab spring unfold, going into its third year, regions of the world have also caught the revolution flu bug. From the streets of Canada, to the sidewalks in Greece, and the city centers in
Russia, people globally have woken up demanding a better future for themselves and the generations to come.
Libya Capital: Tripoli Dictator: Mammar Gaddafi Uprising lasted for: 8 months and 1 day Death toll: 25,000
Yemen Capital: Sana’a Dictator: Ali Abdullah Saleh Uprising lasted for: 1 year and 1 month Death toll: 2000
Syria Capital: Damascus Dictator: Bashar Al-Asad Uprising lasted for: 1 year and 11 months (ongoing) Death toll: 70,000 +
*death toll rates from news sources, UN statistics, and Human Rights Watch
A&C Editor: Paul Bogdan email@example.com the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
A pile-driver of social commentary i’m not angry kyle leitch arts writer Last weekend, the Oscars came and went like a wet fart in church. Anyone with half of a brain was able to predict no less than 15 of the 24 categories. I myself, pegged twenty out of twenty-four ... not bad. I must confess that I’m a terrible filmie – I think the Oscars are boring as hell, and I usually don’t watch them. Another confession that I have to make is that I’m a professional wrestling fan. I’ve been enthralled with the theatrics of larger than life personalities engaged in theatrics that occasionally involve the birth of a plastic hand, catastrophic car crashes, explosions, kidnappings, and occasionally, honest to god Greco-Roman wrestling since I was a kid. No one needs to tell me it’s fake; I know it’s fake because I’m not stupid. In what sport other than a staged one would two sweaty dudes fight over a big, shiny belt when less than one per cent of the active roster wears actual pants? Besides, the falsehood of professional wrestling isn’t what I’m here to discuss. Very recently, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) debuted a couple of new characters that have caused quite a controversy. The returning Jack Swagger, real name Jacob Hager, Jr. returned to active competition with a new manager, Zeb Colter, played by Wayne Maurice Keown. Swagger and Colter have been packaged as extremist right-
xenophobic “real wing Americans.” These bad guy characters have taken the fight to reigning champion, the Mexicanborn Alberto Del Rio (Jose Alberto Rodríguez). Swagger and Colter even have their own YouTube channel, wherein Colter expunges his beliefs on things like immigration, the work force, and political correctness while standing in front of the Gadsden flag. Now, the WWE has always played to topical issues – at the height of the Cold War, one of their best heel draws was a Russian villain. Same goes with the Middle East crisis in the early 1990s. The point is, pushing buttons is not new territory in professional wrestling. Enter Glenn Beck. On Feb. 19, Fox News and Glenn Beck went on the war path, claiming that Jack Swagger and
Zeb Colter were nothing but thinly-veiled mockeries of the Tea Party movement, meant to demonize the party – as if it needed help demonizing itself. Beck further went on to say that wrestling fans are nothing but “stupid wrestling people,” which, funnily enough, actually encompasses a large part of Beck’s own audience. WWE answered back with a PR statement, claiming that the company was incorporating “current events into [their] storylines” to “create compelling and relevant content for [their] audience” and that “this storyline in no way represents WWE’s political point of view.” The WWE went further by having Swagger and Colter shoot a promotional video in which they broke character, and invited Beck to their flagship show on Monday night to deliver an unedited five-
minute rebuttal interview. No such offer has been made to anyone in the company’s fifty-one year history. Beck responded on Twitter by saying that he was “booked doing anything else.” The thrust of this long-winded article is that the WWE finds itself in a position that it hasn’t been in since The Rock kind-of almost retired a decade ago – cultural relevance. The company now has the honest capacity to make meaningful societal contributions with some thought-provoking social commentary. There is no denying the fan base of the WWE –14 million weekly viewers across the US, broadcasting in 30 languages to over 145 countries. Why Glenn Beck would refuse to respond in an unedited fashion to this gigantic fan base is just beyond me. Never since his time at Fox would Beck be able to spew his unique brand of verbal diarrhea at so many people, and hopefully, he’ll never be granted the opportunity again. Yes, Glenn Beck, you will be mocked for your love of your country, and of equal justice, and of liberty and equality. Because wrestling stereotypes always find their footing in some kernel of truth. Here’s looking at you, kid. WWE has a history of dropping the ball when given this much potential. Here’s hoping that they do something great with this one. And you all thought I’d be talking about the Oscars. I’m not angry. But I’m very curious to see where this is going.
Strip, baby Nick Faye and the Deputies release the stripped-down Harvest EP paul bogdan arts editor It’s impossible to rule out the prairie surroundings from the causality of Saskatchewan’s arts culture. Even if you’re completely fed up with all of the municipal and provincial political bullshit that pushes you to your wits’ end, sometimes all it takes is a drive down a prairie highway to fall back in love with this province. Likewise, countless musicians from this province have and continue to write about Saskatchewan, and following in this vein is Nick Faye and the Deputies with their newest release, the Harvest EP, which comes out Feb. 28. However, if the band’s previous release, The Last Best West, was a record to blast in your car as you drive with the windows down on a hot July afternoon, the Harvest EP is the antithesis to that. The Harvest EP replaces songs to nod your head and stumble around to in a dimly lit bar like “Giulianova” and “They Say Good Things...” with strippeddown and skeletal tracks, mirroring the now long-forgotten warmth of the prairie summer. While not an overly conscious
departure from Faye and the Deputies’ last record, writing in the solitude of rural Saskatchewan definitely affected the songs on the new release. “I think just from being at my farm, just having an acoustic guitar when I worked at a summer camp this past year, the songs just went naturally back to my first few EPs where it’s just acoustic. I still have been writing full band songs, but the songs that I wanted to do for this EP ... they were all stripped down, semi-acoustic without percussion,” said Faye. Given the time Faye spent helping his dad during his final harvest before retirement at their family’s farm near Kelliher, SK, it
makes sense that the band chose to record the EP there. Faye said it was a sort of “souvenir” of the farm, harvesting, and rural Saskatchewan. “It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do. You hear of artists going out to churches or cottages, and for me there’s such a personal connection to the farm. It just made sense, seeing as how that’s where a lot of the songs were written,” said Faye. The most noticeable difference Faye said between recording on the farm as opposed to the city was the “lack of distractions”. “There are no computers to check your email, no one’s texting you asking you to go to the bar. It
was just the four of us hanging out, making music, and focusing completely on the music,” said Faye. The Harvest EP may be short with only three songs, but it’s the first new release from the band since 2010, and they wanted “something to let people know we’re still here,” said Faye. “It’s something to build some buzz for the full-length.” While the Harvest EP is noticeably more stripped down than The Last Best West, the currently inthe-works full-length that the band hopes to be recording come summertime will be a move back to “alternative rock whatever”. “We have songs written. We’re just in the process of writing grants and all that fun stuff, trying to scrape together some money to buy a van and tour,” said Faye. However, the yet-untitled fulllength will be a move away from songs about the prairie surroundings and will feature “darker undertones whereas The Last Best West was a soundtrack to cruise around the Qu’Appelle Valley to,” said Faye. Until the summer though, fans will have to tie themselves over with the Harvest EP which can be found at nickfaye.bandcamp.com
Arts Radar March 2 Three Jazzy Tenors Le Bistro $20 members/$25 non-members/$5 students Doors at 7 March 3 Martha Wainwright The Artesian $32 adv/$37 door Doors at 7 Stephen Fearing The Artful Dodger $10 advance tickets Doors at 7:30 March 4 Shakura S’Aida The Exchange $20 adv/$20 door Doors at 7:30 March 5 Cricket w/Soiled Doves O’Hanlon’s Free admission Show at 10 March 7 Justin Lacroix Creative City Centre $10 at the door Doors at 7:30
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
movie review: dark skies Dark Skies Scot Stewart Keri Russell, Jake Brennan
Funny how when you don’t do something for a long time, when you come back to reattempt it, the ground can seem unfamiliar, hostile even. Oscar fever has passed, and it’s time for me to do a movie review, already. Let’s see if I still remember how to do this thing. Let’s talk about Scott C. Stewart’s Dark Skies. Watching the trailer, one would be excused for getting a Paranormal Activity or Insidious vibe. It’s from the same production team, and it goes through the same motions: Normal family, one, two, terrorized by paranormal forces, three, four. In this movie, it’s aliens. Not the cool aliens from the Alien series, I mean horribly computer-generated, big headed, small bodied aliens. Dear, we’re going for the low-hanging fruit, huh? The Barrett family hosts a barbecue and invite their friends the Jessops over. During the dinner, Daniel Barrett (Josh Hamilton) announces his distaste for his eldest son, Jesse's (Dakota Goyo) older friend, Kevin Ratner, whom he calls “Ratface,” which is, in fact, the unintentionally funniest line of dialogue in the entire film. From there, we get a whole bunch of night-time sequences in which kids tell pointless stories, alarms go off, people get severe facial cramps, and the aforementioned aliens show up. Up until this point, the film does a relatively decent job in setting a bleak, foreboding mood. Then the
old clichés start popping up. Your classic jump scares, bright lights, an inability to get through a pantry door, and the film demands that you look at and admire their aliens in all of their early ‘90s animated glory. I don’t know how many more passable films need to be destroyed because the computer animators feel the need to shake their high-school computer programming projects in our faces. So, anyway, people disappear and ... J.K. Simmons shows up? Why the hell wasn’t J.K. Simmons in this film earlier? When you have J.K. Simmons in your movie, you need to utilize him as much as is humanly possible. If nothing else, he’ll keep the cold, unfeeling cynics like me interested in
what’s going on. So finally, our protagonists move away after becoming suspects in their own son’s disappearance. The movie goes on for another ten minutes, or so, we get a Silent Hill-esq crackle of static over a walkie talkie, and the movie decides to just stop running. It’s one thing to try to create a series of suspense and drop the ball. It’s another thing entirely to destroy the only semblance of suspense that you had by needlessly showing your antagonists. The best villain is the self. If you can find a way to turn the protagonists into the film’s antagonists, then you’ve done something wonderful. But no. I don’t know (how to
successfully write an antagonist): therefore, aliens. Go see Dark Skies if you’re really into paying someone $10 to be profoundly disappointed. Otherwise, you could watch the first episode of South Park on YouTube and get about as much out of it.
kyle leitch arts writer
Bringing the text to life Pride and Prejudice takes the stage at the Globe robyn tocker contributor Jane Austen’s classic love story Pride and Prejudice has been adapted in movie format, but Regina’s Globe Theatre has the pleasure of putting on a production of Austen’s novel as a play from March 6 - 24. While movie adaptations can sometimes fall short, can the same be said for plays? “It can be very difficult to translate a novel to the stage because the written work contains so much detail”, said director Marti Maraden. “In the novel we are inside Elizabeth Benet's head so we know her thoughts and feelings intimately. On stage we can't do that so we have to find another way to invite the audience in,” said Kelli Fox, who plays Mrs. Benet in the production. Maraden made the point that Pride and Prejudice has had successes as a play. Christina Calvit’s adaptation for stage use,“captures the essence and heart of Austen's work with verve and wit.” “This adaptation uses storytelling techniques that have been used successfully before; having a central narrator, but also sharing narration out to a kind of ‘chorus’, and weaving that together with some actual scenes so that it's not all ‘telling’,” Fox added. To also help make things eas-
ier, Maraden has had experience working with plays that frequently shift to different times and places like Pride. Even with a hefty amount of experiences, problems can arise, such as staging the dances. “On the more common proscenium arch stage or even a thrust stage a director and choreographer can place the dances behind the actors who are speaking. That isn't possible on the Globe stage so it challenges us to be more inventive,” said Maraden. Because rehearsal time is very short one would think that would
be an added issue to adapting literary cannon onto the stage, but Maraden stated the opposite. “Everyone working on the production has done so with such care and commitment that we are further along after two weeks of rehearsal than I could have hoped.” “We certainly have fun,” Fox said, “we enjoy our work, but we have a very short rehearsal period and everybody knows that so it's all nose to the grindstone so far.” Of these hard workers is costume designer Emma Williams, who’s acquired several pieces
from England used in the play in addition to the exceptional costumes created by the Globe’s costume department. The set designer, Charlotte Dean, has provided the Globe with period furniture that is sure to heighten the authenticity of the play. The Globe’s composer, Stephen Woodjetts, “has created lovely evocative music to underscore our story”, said Maraden. For this particular play, lighting is essential in separating the play’s numerous locations and atmospheres depicted. This will be as success thanks to lighting
director Louise Guinand. Excitement among cast and crew is building as the opening of the production draws nearer, especially with the younger conservatory actors who are stepping onto the stage in major roles alongside their four additional seasoned performers. Fox talked about a “getting to know you period” during the beginning, “but that has been really shortened by the fact that most of this cast has been working together in conservatory for months. It's made it very easy for us to become an ensemble very quickly.” For a love story such as Pride and Prejudice, chemistry is, without a doubt, essential. “The chemistry amongst the cast is nothing short of superb,” said Maraden. For those who love the interactions between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Benet, they certainly won’t be disappointed! Is Pride the start of a series of literary cannon adaptations? There’s little doubt anyone would be disappointed if more cannon works were to be done on stage. “Audiences seem to enjoy meeting their favourite reads in the flesh,” said Maraden. Artistic director Ruth Smillie’s choice of Pride and Prejudice could signal the start of more plays like this being put on. Let’s just hope Twilight isn’t the next adaptation.
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
ARTS ROUNDTABLE The oscars would have been better if the new pope won every award
kyle leitch, paul bogdan, dietrich neu, robyn tocker this week’s roundtable 1. Did you watch the Oscars? Were you pleased with the results?
KL: I did not. If I can’t be a voting member of the Academy, then I refuse to watch a show that managed to lobotomize Quentin Tarantino to the point that he didn’t utter one “fuck” during his acceptance speech.
PB: Nope. I watched Oscars once to make fun of it in this paper a few years ago, and I don’t intend on paying attention to them in the future. Major awards things like this are generally pretty stupid.
RT: I did, and I was very pleased with the results. Anne Hathaway is one of my favourite actresses and she was fantastic in Les Miserables. Jennifer Lawrence cracks me up every time I see her. She’s a peach. Overall awesomeness.
DN: I didn’t even know that the Oscars were happening until Facebook and Twitter exploded with weird cryptic comments about Seth McFarlane. It was kind of like watching a constant stream of inside jokes poison my Facebook feed. I still didn’t feel the urge to watch though. I haven’t looked at the rest of the
roundtable questions, but if they are all about the Oscars I’m fucked. 2. Who do you think should be the next pope and why? KL: I think that we can all agree that if Lemmy isn’t made the next Pope, then we have legitimate reason to riot.
PB: Not sure who, but my bet’s on an old white guy. RT: I honestly don’t care one wit who the next pope is so long as they stop all this hypocrisy and address the child molestation that’s been tossed under the rug for years.
DN: Oh thank God, not an Oscars question. I remember hearing eager media analysts mention Canadian Cardinal Thomas Collins’ name when the news first broke that Pope Benedict XVI was going to step down. I remember feeling quite excited. That was a stupid feeling to have; I don’t even believe in God. 3. What do you think of the proposal for a Public Private Partnership (P3) for the new waste water treatment centre?
KL: Public Private Partnership? I hardly knew her! PB: I’ve recently changed my
views about Regina from “let’s get up in arms and save our city” to “fuck it; the only way to change Regina is to burn this fucker to the ground and start over”. So yeah, I’m all for this. RT: I’m horridly behind in current events, but from what I looked up online, it could work out, or it could not, as all things usually do with the government. We’ll just have to wait and see for more developments.
DN: I do have a concern about freedom of information. If water treatment was handled entirely by the government we would have the right to demand information and keep them accountable. Private companies don’t have to grant FOI requests the same way that the City of Regina would have to. The people looking after our water should be held more accountable, not less. 4. Should everyone in Canada be forced to take a mandatory vacation to somewhere warm so we all aren't inherently insane by this time of the year?
KL: Sure, why not? Most of us know how winter treated Jack Nicholson in The Shining (spoiler alert: poorly).
PB: Yes, and I’d like to take this 50ish word space to announce my 2016 campaign for mayor of Regina. I’m running on the plat-
form of starting a P3 to finance everyone’s Caribbean vacation. #PBP32016
RT: If it was paid for by the government, hell yeah. If not, sorry I’d rather freeze.
DN: Yes. I just came back from Mexico and I feel like a million bucks. I didn’t get shot either – big plus. There is nothing like spending a week in a warm country relaxing and lounging around. However, there is also a tremendous heroin-like comedown when your plane hits the freezing Regina tarmac on your way home. But yeah, I think everyone would benefit if they could afford it. 5. What do you think of Netflix premiering original content?
KL: I think we’ve finally made the shift from cinema and TV to Netflix as the dominant entertainment media. I dunno how I feel about that.
PB: Yes because drowning oneself in a TV series to escape the inevitable anxieties from daily reality is significantly more challenging with a weekly show than if I can watch House of Cards for eight hours straight.
RT: Interesting concept, we’ll see if it takes flight. Depending on the genre they put on there I could take the time to watch something.
DN: Whatever floats their boat, I guess. I don’t particularly think that a company built on syndication would be very well suited to produce their own content, but I think this is a sign that Netflix is clearly bent on world domination. Good for them!
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the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
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2013 Literary Supplement inside
Languish He heard the bleating (One, six, four) pulsing against his temple. A small, inconsequential noise; the sound of an ephemeral, gushing beat underwater. There wouldn't be another like it. This was something unprecedented. He hadn't known it would actually exist. He stared into the semi-darkness, listening to the small device he had attached to his ear. (Nine, five, eight) The building was through the sparse thicket. There was a small trail leading forwards. Tall ferns, their green needles dripping softly with yesterday's rain, were brushed up against the harsh concrete walls. The second level was exposed, the wall having crumbled. Large Grecian pillars held the upper floor that seemed to dangle precariously forward. The entrance floor was intact but extended further in, making the entrance-way seem cave-like. Inside was a darkness cast by evening shadows. He spotted an antennae, bent in half, on the top of the building. (Seven, two, three) The rushing was powerful, yet soothing. Eyes glancing furtively he crept forward, his pant leg brushing the undergrowth and sending a shower of water. A cold sensation soaked his leather shoe. As he approached the building a sense of coldness swept through his body. The concrete stole heat away as quickly as the cold water. Once inside his memory sparked. A long, silvery counter stood in front of him. There was a portion of the wall that was lighter than the rest, where a logo had once been. He had forgotten the name associated with the logo. His shoes brushed across rugs that were mostly eaten away by mildew. The right shoe squelched. Now that he knew where he was, he knew where to go. Past observing windows and large rusted machinery, long unused. Precision was a word no longer heard here. He mulled that over. Precision. Exact. The words were sharp. The rushing calmed him. (One, six, four). And he continued on, without thinking, without thought, up the metallic stairs that twisted and turned up the stairwell. They were also dull and rusted, like the machinery. This brought him a small amount of satisfaction, the dulling. At the top of the stairs he found a door marked with symbols he had long forgotten how to read. He opened it slowly. The rushing filled the room. A low, pulsing, beat like the heart of a baby. He glanced around and saw a wooden table, foreign to its surroundings, with a metal chair. There were animal hides draped across some of the dulled metal sinks. An acrid smell made his nostrils burn. The smell of animals. The smell of stale life. Against the wall was a crumpled figure on the floor, although there didn't seem to be much of a figure left. It's bare legs emaciated to scarcely stick-like protrusions and its feet were disgusting and gauntly shriveled. Its toes had yellowish cracked nails that were filled with dirt and brown splotches that could be anything, but the first thing that came to his mind was dried blood. Its skin was leathery. The rest of the figure was in the dark, and as his eyes began to accustom
to the shadows he realized that the black outline of the figure was a shaking. He leaped back out of surprise and fear. A short gasping whisper escaped his cracked lips: “You.” He was surprised by the hoarseness. The figure shook, pushing further back into the dark. They stood like that for a moment, then he advanced a step. “Let me see your face.” “No.” “I need to.” He rustled for a moment and withdrew a small silver flashlight that he pointed into the shadows. With a 'click' the wall was illuminated. The figure barely moved, eyes unfocused and staring. The skin on its face was pulled tight around the cheekbones. The skin was darkened beneath each of her eyes. A crusted substance was stuck into its lashes and trailed down its face. “When?” Its voice was so strained he could barely hear its softness. He imagined the voice to be tender and leathery; the soft skin of a grandmother. “Why?” He demanded, trembling, then whispered. “It's pointless. It's me, again.” “What?” “You. You're me, again.” “I'm not you.” He was silent. He wandered over to the side of the room. He found a wood table and flipped it on its side. There was no noticing the rest of the room through his focus; just the useful things. Another metal chair was used to bash one of the table legs. It creaked and groaned, then began to give way. “I'm not you!” He continued bashing until the table leg snapped off. Splinters flew around the room. He grabbed the newly freed table leg and returned to the figure. “Please!” He brought the leg down, over and over. His back arched and taut. His eyes wide and sightless. He heard screams and cries dully beat at his ears until he was only beating a lifeless body, and then he stopped with the blood still splattered on his face and the screams still lifeless in his ears and the warm blood trickling to his pants, soaking them. He whimpered. He tore the small device from his ear and slammed it against the ground then beat it, again and again, until the old dust worn earpiece was nothing but small chunks skittering across the floor. Then he screamed. “Why can't I find anyone else? Am I the only one left?” And when he finally calmed himself, he threw the table leg onto the floor. His eyes were glassy and distant. He turned and left.
I blink away the morning light from my eyes once again. Whispered thoughts and etched patterns tease my mind with the edges of their meanings. What had grazed my thoughts just moments before has lost itself within the recesses of my deepest secrets,
A Weary Wanderer By: Jocelyn Marsden A sordid interlude By: Jenny Shiels Agnosticism By: Kayla McKinnon page eleven White Box By: Sharon Engbrecht Silence By: Jocelyn Marsden Joan By: Amie Nyhus page twelve Snow day By: Robyn Tocker Around the lines of him and me By: Kayla McKinnon Unbridled By: Debby Adair
To Dust from the Same The greenling spire upon the world, Whose limbs stretch high unto the sun, Does find the heights with limbs unfurled, Yet time will find his strength undone. How lofty do our dreams unfold, And claim to
Fishing for Dreams Midnight thoughts pass, fade, disappear with dawning days, stolen by the night. Memories of half a life never last. Perpetual in our efforts, we attempt to recall our deepest thoughts, those that itch the backs of our minds regardless of the known outcome. Hope makes us believe in anything. Even the impossible.
page ten A grammatical guide to losing your passport in a Colombian bus station By: Rob Ern
heights begin our reach, What, then, of all our locked away for another sleeping state. Another failed attempt to capture what isn’t truly lost to me. It’s funny—this night-time pondering, where the real and imagined collided, can just explode without warning and take us away to a place we’ll never visit again. It reveals a cracked mirror that gives us back our own reflection in twisted pieces, but we soon misplace our observations and breathe through our days in the same respect as the last, unchanged. Kayla McKinnon
work and toil, Whose surest end is lowest soil? For what great cause we sweat and burn, And what our hope, who all will come, To dust from same, yet dare to fly, Why soars our soul if but to die? A calling from undying home, We've heard, and wand'ring hearts are turned, To rest and hope beyond our grave; Deep love, our captive soul to save. Benjamin Woolhead
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
10 literary supplement
A Grammatical Guide to Losing Your Passport in a Colombian Bus Station Exercise 3 Translate these sentences.
Unit Four: The Conditional and Future Tenses Hola! By now, you've reviewed many of the Spanish tenses, while building up a decent vocabulary. Many of you are probably so elated with your progress that you cast aside your workbooks and bought tickets to South America. "Immersion is the only real way to learn," you most likely stated, packing for the trip you were sure you could get through with the four tenses you bothered to learn. Foolish, yes. But isn’t learning fun? Now, sitting across from a dead-eyed police sergeant in a detachment in the Bogota Bus Terminal, you find yourself wanting to express some more complex ideas. It is time to learn the conditional tense! Most Spanish learners, often confuse the conditional with the future tense, but not you. Remember, in Spanish the future is expressed thusly. I will get on the bus to Ecuador to meet my friends. I will keep an eye on my things. I will be on the bus in a matter of minutes. It is important to note that use of the future tense implies a degree of certainty about what is going to happen, certainty you will most likely never have again. But what if you wanted to talk about something more hypothetical, something that could happen? These hypothetical statements typically use the word “would” in English. For example: Why would that man sit so close to my bags? What would I do if he grabbed my stuff?
Your bag is probably miles away. He’s most likely sold your passports already. I bet he was watching you from the moment you first entered the station. If you can convince him to fill out the police report anyway, you will need to switch back to the conditional tense. However, convincing may take a little bit of work. Let’s review some of the vocabulary you’ll need. Remember, without a police report, the embassy won’t issue you replacement passport and you’ll be “immersed” forever. Exercise 4 Draw a line from the vocabulary to the correct sentence Fifty Yes, I understand that police forms and supplies___ money Version I know you want to be involved but I can’t _______ and deal with him at the same time. Cost Really, that carbon paper costs _____ dollars? Donation Well if you had used the Rosetta Stone I bought you, you could tell him your ____ yourself. Translate I would like to make a _____ to this hardworking police detachment. The conditional tense can also be used to express probability or conjecture about the past, something you will be doing a lot of in the coming days.
Hypothetical statements like these are just one use of the conditional tense. Using some would have been a better use of your time instead of impatiently pacing around the bus terminal, arguing with your girlfriend about how you refused to translate her ridiculously elaborate (and let's face it, pretentious) coffee order to the poor girl at the Juan Valdez counter two days ago. Exercise 1 Translate these sentences. He said the bus would be late. Why don't you watch the stupid bags while I pee for once? Why would you invite me on this trip if I annoy you so much? Oh really? Tell me what YOU would like to do, you harpy. The conditional tense is also used to express subordinate clauses. Exercise 2 Fill in the blanks. The bus driver wants to ___ our tickets. Wait, where did you ___ you put the white bag? The white bag, the one you said you _____ our passports in Now, let’s move on to the conditional perfect tense. The conditional perfect tense is used to refer to an action of event that would have been completed in the past, given an expressed or implied condition. Can you think of anything that should have been completed in the past but wasn’t? I bet you can! This is the perfect tense in which to have a whisper fight with the girl you hastily included in your Latin American adventure while being escorted to the police station at the other end of the terminal. Let's look at some examples. I wouldn't have put them in the bag if you had been willing to put them in your purse. I wouldn't have come if I knew you were such a jerk. The conditional perfect tense is another form that is used with subordinated clauses in the past. Ex. If I had just said something to the guy sitting near our bags, then I would be halfway to Ecuador instead of sitting in this dingy police waiting room. The future tense can also be used to express probability or conjecture about events happening in the present. If this idea seems complicated to you, try to picture yourself in small office opposite a yawning police sergeant who is trying to tell you how futile even bothering to fill out a police report will be.
Let's look at some examples. I bet more than one person in this station was in on it. How much more fun would this trip have been if I was single? I bet if I was single I could have made something happen with that Swiss girl at the hostel. Exercise 5 Fill in the blanks I’m not really sure why you agreed to ______along either. I don’t know why you didn’t ___ our stuff better. Had I known guarding the bags was my exclusive responsibility, I would have ____ them better! Now, we will examine the Future Perfect of Probability. There is no perfect probability. Nothing is certain. Nonetheless, the Spanish language has a tense for those with enough hubris to tempt the gods by announcing their plans or goals aloud. In English, this would be written as “By tomorrow, I will have accomplished such and such” as if your mind could recognize, grasp, and avoid all the possible obstacles that threaten to dash your plans against rocks like a seagull opening clams. Let’s look at some examples. When I get back to the hostel, I will try to get our old room back. By the time we get this report done, I will be in tears. We're not going to make through this trip together. One important to remember when using this tense is that nothing is ever certain, and there is no plan, however simple, that the universe won’t delight in ruining for you. Now that we’ve covered the different uses of future and of conditional and maybe even filled out our police report, you’re now armed with enough grammatical know how to articulate the vast gulf that has erupted between your plans and the reality you live in to a cold and indifferent universe! Next chapter, we will do a quick revision of directions, which you will desperately need in order to make sure the cab driver you hired is in fact taking you to the embassy and not an alleyway where his friends are waiting for the one bankcard you’ve managed not to lose. Hasta Luego! Rob Ern
A Weary Wanderer
A Sordid Interlude
I feel stretched, my ears filled with water, everything hollow and distant; a ship at sea with an unreliable compass. I am nine left turns for every right.
Mm, exciting music takes me, slurs sensations, encores pursue. Forte throbbing through my body, I crescendo til all plays through.
I spend my days one minute at a time, forgetting future fears, dropping ancient issues; time doesn’t hand out mercy to those who waste it.
Beethoven is strikingly true with his sharps invading boldly, passionate cadenza makes do, mm, exciting music takes me.
I breathe colours, vibrant shades that dance before my eyes. I consume the sounds of laughter, soft and inviting. I hear the feelings of the heart and follow them.
Finals, Finale, Finite. It’s like a strange motor, articulated movements, constantly turning back on itself. I have always hated feeling uncertain. I have always taken the steps with ease, but now the strides have grown longer. A weary wanderer, academic wanderlust. The world is a discouraging place for the hard headed; the renaissance man is falling to pieces, replaced with petroleum engineering. I’m afraid, but I’m reluctant to say so. A baby doe, knock kneed and wide eyed.
Chopin steps in, lento, a plea. Watches me writhing, plays me askew, he lets fingers dancing lightly slur sensations, encores pursue. Tchaikovsky objects virtue, humming sin into my ears, he causes treble; moaning, piu. Forte throbbing through my body. Vivo Gershwin fun and flirty, brings me near the fine. Into music I have fallen. Lewdly I crescendo til all plays through.
Here I am, where am I? Jocelynn Marsden
I search for adrenaline, danger at my fingertips, and avoid places where treasured volumes hold stories created to pretend we never die. Because we will die. I trust no one, I believe in nothing. What a waste to accept everything you’re taught by those who think you ought to listen.
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
literary supplement 11
White Box I think of a white box. It has smooth white sides. I use it to clear away all the clutter in my mind. When I close my eyes all these images flood in. My eyes are a dam, and as I close them the wall comes crashing down and the images gush in, one over the other, in a mad rush to flood every empty space – so many that I can't make anything out clearly. My mind flits from one image to the next like a film projector: every frame is a different image, a different thought, and a thousand different scenes. Everything mashes together like overmixed paint – a brownish, reddish Muck with streaks of blue, pink, green, and yellow: quickly moving colored static in my mind. So, I think of a white box. I focus on its shape – its simplicity. Hoping to press the mess of information against the back of my mind. And if I press hard enough and for enough time, everything will spill out into Nowhere and I can quickly close the space behind it. The white box is a pristine white: not shiny and not dull. It is a kind of white that is simply the void of color but still opaque. Luminescent almost. Luminescent against the expanse of Muck. I think of the edges and I count them like some people count sheep. There are twelve. Or are there twelve? I count them again ¬– three or four times – just to make sure. And now, the cube has become a box with four flaps for a lid. The flaps flop open and I try to close the box up again into a cube. But the flaps are persistent and they keep swinging open. I imagine erasing them. At first, they don't do anything but flap against my will. Then they disappear though I can sense they are still there – invisible mutinous ghosts. And the box begins to spin in protest. It turns up on a corner and spins and spins. I scream at it to stop until my mind is out of breath and my chest is tight. A hand, from Somewhere, gently reaches down and presses on the box. The box stills like a trained dog obedient to its owner. It stops moving. I'm glad the box has stopped, but now I'm curious about the hand. It's a small hand connected to a chubby wrist: a child's hand. I look up, away from the box. There is a little girl. She crouches by a clear blue puddle and I look up at her as though I am the puddle or the box. When I look back, the box has become a sailboat, carefully folded, swaying lazily on small ripples. The girl watches the boat and the light, as both tease the surface of the water. In her hand she holds a stick with which she gently urges the boat to sail and makes ripples in the water. I am curious about this girl with her fresh, summer-tanned skin. She has long slender arms and long slender legs with childish down covering them, sticking out of frayed, faded-jean shorts and a white tank top that looks too big. Her hair falls in front of her face. It is golden, like the down on her arms. I want to brush her hair away to see her face. I command it to move. I think it to move. Will it. But it won’t listen to me. It stays dangling, shimmering like the water, hiding the girl’s face. No matter where I turn or how I look I’m not allowed to see. And then I remember the box and the girl is gone in an instant. I'm supposed to be focusing on the box. I watch it and keep it steady. Focusing on its simplicity, on its form. I watch the sides and make sure they are solid. I test them, poke them to check but now they feel mushy ¬– marshmallowy. So I think solid – smooth – but the sides begin to gradually melt away. I try to smooth them up again but they keep sliding, like melting icing on a cake in the hot afternoon sun, sagging at the bottom edges. As the box melts away I see through it. I see an old man wearing a grey-blue sweater. He has no jacket or scarf or shoes on his feet. Only red socks protect his skin from the snow. The red wool is stark against the white. On the bottoms of his soles the snow has started to melt and clump. All at once, I can see the whole scene and every detail. The man is wandering in the snow – in a snowstorm – in sock feet with no jacket because he couldn't remember how to tie the laces or button the buttons. I hadn't noticed before but it is snowing. I try to catch his attention. But, when I shout out my voice is lost in the wind and he doesn't turn around to see my waving arms. He slowly walks away against the blowing storm around him. Then, without warning, the scene closes on itself and though I don't want to, all I see is the white box. Now I'm angry at the white box. Why won't it stay? Why does it tease me with these images? Half memory. Half imagination. All I want is for all the clutter and confusion
to fade away and as it fades I want it to drag me into the depth where I am under water but still breathing. I want it to take me to the Other Side of Waking where it's as though I am the whole universe, and only a small part, all at the same time. But if I can see where I am going, I am quickly brought back to the surface: to the Other Side of my closed eyelids and half sleep. Now, I am drifting on an ocean in a small, round, wooden boat surrounded by the discarded debris of half thought memories. Even the sky is full of half seen reminiscence and half formed ideas. I want to see clear water and clear skies. Open prairies covered with a bright blue open space. I want to fade into clarity. I want to follow the white box as it sinks into the horizon of my mind and disappears. I want to disappear with it. I want to go. I want to tear away thought and be set free. And at times I can't even conjure up the white box. I can't make the image in my mind. On those nights I see things I don't want to see. Things that I am not curious about. Things that burden my heart and make my chest feel like it's slowly being crushed. I see a young woman. She appears from amidst the floating debris through a doorway. I step through the clear light to follow her, out of my wobbling, fading boat. She is in a hospital gown and I follow her into a hospital room. As I watch her, as I look at her, I become her. I am her balding head, her weary sunken eyes, and her chest with the catheter sticking out, for quick chemical injections. I am her body being invaded. I am her lungs, taking their last breath of air, as she lay on the bleached hospital bed. I convulse as her body convulses. And I am the slow wall--oup, wall--oup, wall--oup, wall--oup, wall--oup of her beating heart inside her ribcage as it continues even though her lungs have drowned in the bloody Muck of the tumors that filled them. Her heart keeps living while the rest of her starts to die soon after her lungs stop bringing her breath. I want to wrench my own lungs and put them in her. I want her eyes to come back to life, bright and happy. I want them to smile at me. I want to spend more time with her. My eyes tickle with tears and I open them because I'm afraid. I'm afraid to keep looking. I'm afraid to see the moment her heart stops beating. I'm afraid to keep seeing and being this woman. I stare at the darkness of my own room, trying not to think of Anything while thinking of Everything. These Quiet Hours that haunt. Shadows of lives and Life. Residue of the universe behind closed eyes. My mind is a giant theatre with a thousand pictures, memories, and films playing all at once. If only the noise would drown itself out. Wall--oup, wall--oup, wall--oup, wall--oup, wall--oup... If only I could turn off the lights and the projectors. Each shutter of light is a new image. The golden hair of an unborn child. A Grandfather's damp footprints in the snow. The dieing heart of someone's daughter. Her sunken eyes. Click. Click-click. The switches never work. If only there was nothing in my mind. Nothing, but the white box.
Any number of things unsaid As footfalls on fresh snow Coyote brush highway line into impenetrable dark. A playlist separating you from them: oil and water, full bus Location and silence are strange bedfellows, kissing in darkness and daylight Fluorescent tube lighting stark white Silence like snow to the Inuit An endless tundra of definitions for one simple word.
Joan You rode out on the city They knew you But did not know you Why you tried To sneak in on Holy offices is unknown Perhaps you set out To prove them all wrong That Holiness Is a human virtue Not only a mans Maybe you just Were tired of The options dished out To you from birth As you ride into town Your stomach swells And expels all the Secrets you tried to keep safe And now they know you All of what you really are But they never tried to know you So they pulled you from your horse Tied you to its tail And dragged you through the streets They left you out there to rot Holiness can’t be only a man’s virtue When it isn’t even a human virtue Amie Nyhus
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
12 literary supplement Unbridled
Snow Day In a city of record snowfall, a neighbourhood of white picket fences and screaming children moved about their day seemingly unaffected. The icy road that separated houses was covered in mounds of frozen rain, giving children the perfect reason for a snow day. Mothers released them bundled in puffy jackets, woollen mittens, and reminders to keep those hats on and for God’s sake Timothy do not shove your sister in the snow bank! A couple across the way held their daily screaming match in the Victorian Villa preserved perfectly halfway down the road. She yells something, perhaps about his haircut or his shoes because Lord only knows
Mr. Big Shot can’t afford to leave the office long enough to get a decent cut. He points an accusing finger at her, reminding her that gee Caron last time I checked you were no fountain of youth either! Wrong thing to say. He knows this, as does she, and usually he leaves (escapes) but he can’t because the driveway is a snow fort with snowmen guarding it and the last thing he needs is his kids whining about a ruined day at the hands of his need to be free. Timothy put that hat back on this instant! And where is your sister? Caron I— Not now Greg. You said enough.
Around the Lines of Him and Me He stands Quiet all around cloaked in everything warm and good, as I stand upon the precipice waiting for what should now come, sensing all of what could have happened of what would’ve been encountered had we let bravery have a run in our lives. What is it he expects? I could guess He doesn’t know himself. In all honesty he mustn’t feel There may be something left he unknowingly hides from me inside the folds of his mind (I feel this, at least) that needs to be discovered. Too late now. I know this is my last chance, He knows that distance could destroy him, and we both know that something stronger bubbles beneath the surface, that this is it—so, please, let him say what I need to hear. And with opportunities lost, And as I wait too long to let him know those what ifs and maybes circling in his mind, that “I love you” dangling from his lips, dangles on my lips he walks away Kayla McKinnon he walks away.
I wanted to say goodbye.
pressed tight for another day.
I wanted to, very much. Some people can think on that word, can form the word, agree, accept, allow. But, somehow, every time I tried, I couldn’t. Something happened, you said something, maybe I got scared.
So, I choose this. This. The cowardice of words written inside a little card, little black letters
I don’t think I’ll ever know. I have a fear of rejection, you know this is a scary, powerful thing.
Words that won’t reach you for several days after I have sent them on their journey. Sealed, they will have to be content, to wait, contained in this timeless, nameless space until they arrive, where they can settle and finally
But, I can’t live another day Like this.
Am I a coward? Perhaps. And if I am a coward, what does that make you? I don’t have all the words, I wish I did, I wish I could form every word that needs to be said and then say them to you, but what would be the use? What would be the use, I know they would be rejected. Maybe I should have made you listen. Listen to my words! I have thought about this. For a while I tried, but inside my mouth were marbles licked clean, shiny ready to play our game. If they rolled off my tongue, I afraid
you would choke and I know what it’s like to be unable to breathe, or maybe the ground glass would make you suffer a slow, grinding pain, and no one should suffer like that anymore. I could have screamed, but somehow I don’t think I have ever been loud enough for you to hear me. Have you ever heard me scream, can you recall a word I have ever said? Maybe my brain is shrinking, a prune,
silently shouting, screaming to you what I never could.
unpack themselves in your mind. And perhaps, just perhaps, you will be able to read them more than you have ever been able to read me. You will be able to hold these words in your hand and see them on the outside of your eyes, touch them with your own fingertips, finger tips inky black, blue. I wish this for you, to stand.
And at the bottom of this card, I will leave you a word. One word for you, and you can read it, crumple it, scribble it out, tear it up, but it will be there, script, ancient as scrolls, to hold, to chew on, out.
You must be tired of carrying marbles, tired of games, because even the word
is tired now.
Sports Editor: Autumn McDowell firstname.lastname@example.org the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
ROUNDTABLE Hello playoffs, goodbye wrestling
Where did that arm even come from?
braden dupuis, kris klein, autumn mcdowell, britton gray this week’s roundtable Which University of Regina sports team do you think will go the farthest in the playoffs?
Dupuis: There have been some pleasant surprises in Cougar athletics this year, with more than a few teams improving on last year’s records. While I’m obviously hoping the best for every playoff team, I’m thinking our best shot is the women’s b-ball squad, who has a chance to win a CIS championship at home.
Klein: Probably the Cougar women’s basketball team, considering they are what, second in the country? I would like to throw a wild card out there for the track and field team on the shoulders of Craig “Don’t call me Roger” White. That is if track and field has playoffs. Gray: I believe that the women’s basketball team has the best chance of going the farthest in playoffs. They are a team with great veterans on their team and a head coach that has been around for a while. I’m expecting them to go far.
McDowell: Well, had I asked myself this question last week, I would have picked the women’s hockey team, because I would have wanted to be different from everyone who will obviously pick the women’s basketball team. But, that was before the hockey team
lost 7-1, so women’s basketball it is.
The Saskatchewan Roughriders have signed CFL bad boy, Dwight Anderson. What do you think of this signing?
Dupuis: Call me jaded or ignorant if you must, but there are so many personnel changes in the CFL that I honestly don’t care whose names are on the jerseys anymore. As long as I can watch the Riders and there’s even the slightest chance they might win, I’m happy. Klein: I like the signing personally. He is one of the best shut down DB’s in the game and it gives the defence some character that they lost when Odell Willis signed with the Eskimos. Plus he has a great head of hair.
Gray: I think its a good signing and can help add some character to the team. I believe that the staff of the Riders felt that this signing would help them reach the Grey Cup this year. Although, with the amount of alcohol I’ll be drinking during the Grey Cup parties, I may not be able to recognize who is playing.
McDowell: I love a good trash talker, and to have the best one in the league on your roster is never a bad thing. Dwight Anderson is the type of player that you hate to play against, but love to have on your side. Yes Taylor, I stole that line from you too. Wrestling was recently taken out
of the Olympics, what are your thoughts on this change?
Dupuis: I heard about this, and thought it was a bit odd. Wasn’t wrestling like, the first Olympic sport ever? I can’t say I’m overly bothered by it, but it’s got me thinking about what the Olympics will look like 100 years from now (insert tired future joke here).
Klein: Well, if they did wrestling like WWE it would the most popular and entertaining sport in Olympic history. And besides, how does wrestling get kicked out but power walking and ribbon gymnastics stay in? Gray: I am against this decision to take wrestling out of the Olympics. It has been a part of the event for many years and is one of the sports with the most history behind it. While it may not be the most exciting sport to watch, it deserves a spot at the Olympics.
McDowell: It must be one of the worst feelings ever to train your entire life to be in the Olympics and then suddenly your sport is ripped away from your dead, lifeless fingers. Like, that must suck to have done all of that work for nothing. I just want to make sure that everyone realizes how much time they wasted. Recently there has been a lot of talk that athletes are not happy with the negative messages they receive on Twitter and other social media outlets. Do you think that social media has a negative effect on athletes performances?
Dupuis: It’s possible. Both the best and worst thing about Twitter is that anyone can use it, which sadly includes all of the racist, bigoted morons dumb enough to talk shit to athletes on Twitter. Sadly, the only real solution is for public figures to avoid social media altogether or ignore the haters, which is probably harder than it sounds.
Klein: Look, you are getting paid millions to play a sport. You have enough money to own an island in the Gulf of Mexico. So stop whining and win a damn Stanley Cup, Calgary!
Gray: I don’t think social media has negatively affected the athletes, but the athletes have allowed themselves to be negatively affected by it. All it does is allow fans the opportunity to tell the athletes what they really think of them to them directly, something they have never had before
McDowell: Oh boo hoo. You know what, I’m really sick of these athletes constantly whining. One week it’s about money, the next it’s about something bad someone said about them. Tell someone who cares. Last week, a ton of bad stuff was said about me on Twitter and I just sat there and took it. Actually, I sat quietly by myself and cried. Kidding. Just for fun: What is your favourite sports video game and why?
Dupuis: NHL 13 hands down, because, duh, hockey, but if you
asked eight-year-old me this same question the answer would no doubt be Super Dodgeball for the NES. This game rocked my fucking socks for hours on end. If you ever get a chance to play it, I suggest you take that chance, and invite me. Klein: NHL Rock the Rink for the old Playstation. Quick story, one time I was playing my buddy’s brother and every time you score you could taunt the opposition with some guy yelling “loser!” over and over. Safe to say I did that so much that he threw the Playstation against a wall and broke it. Best day ever.
Gray: Since the NFL is my favourite sport to watch, Madden is my favourite video game to play. There’s nothing better than leading the Dallas Cowboys to a Super Bowl because deep deep down I know that that is the closest they are going to get to one (Sad face)
McDowell: The 90’s kid in me wants to say Punch Out, does anyone else besides me remember that game? With it’s horrible graphics and flashing TKO sign, no? Well, then my next choice is NHL 13, but the hits are a little bit ridiculous. Kane ran over Malkin in it the other day, and Malkin landed directly on his head, like we’re talking major headstand here.
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
Lucky sevens U of R rugby teams travel to Sin City heading back into the tournament. “This year we are aiming for top half,” he said. “Without a doubt, we should be able to do it.” The players left yesterday, and will have a couple of days to receive sessions from team Canada players before starting competition on the weekend. The women will face Calgary while the men will take on McMaster University. You can watch the teams play online at events.rugbycanada.ca
paige kreutzwieser contributor Las Vegas is home to many things such as Celine Dion, Carrot Top, Chippendales, and Criss Angel, three of which I never want to see in my life. You also have casinos, stores and strippers, all which are probably under the same roof as your hotel room. But, did you know that it is also home to one of the stops for the Rugby Sevens World Series? Well, now you do. The University of Regina’s sophomore men’s and rookie women’s rugby teams traveled down to Nevada from Feb. 7-10 to compete and represent the U of R in the 2013 USA Invitational Rugby 7’s Tournament. Within the 12 divisions, the Cougars were a part of the men’s and women’s college divisions, where they competed against 24 and 8 teams, respectively. “We were aiming for top half, and we did, which is good for us,” explained Daniel Smith, centre for the men’s team after returning home from the tournament. Overall, the men’s team went 2-3 while the women’s team went 1-4 at the event. Besides some unexpected cold weather and the lop-sided scores, nothing seemed to take away from the experience both teams gained from attending such a
“ Overall, we usassevens.com
This is from the tournaments website. Stay classy, Vegas. competition. They competed against world-class competition, and men’s first-year player, Wade Lavelle, proved to be a huge asset to the team. “He was extraordinary. He did really well for us and was a huge leader which is huge for someone his age,” Smith said. “Overall, we just had a really good time and
everything really clicked. All of us are feeling pretty good about Victoria.” Both rugby teams will now head off to Victoria, B.C. to compete in the CIS 7’s tournament on March 1-2. It will be the first year competing in CIS for the women’s team, and the second for the men. Last year, getting to the CIS
championships was extremely rushed for the team; but with much dedication from players Alan Harvey and Brett Kannenberg, the team was funded and organized just in time to throw a team together and compete on behalf of the U of R. Smith described it as a learning experience that they will use
just had a really good time and everything really clicked. All of us are feeling pretty good about Victoria.” Daniel Smith
Squashing the competition? Jaycee Spangrud competes on the national stage autumn mcdowell sports editor While many Cougars teams are currently in playoff action hoping for a chance to take their talents to the national stage, University of Regina student Jaycee Spagrud has already punched her ticket to nationals. The third-year Social Work student has earned the right to represent the U of R in the 2013 Black Knight Canadian University National Squash Championships from Mar.1-3 in Toronto. 2013 will mark the third time that Spagrud has participated in the championships, but just the first time representing the Cougars – her first two appearances were on behalf of the Saskatchewan Huskies. “In 2005 and 2012, I represented the University of Saskatchewan at this tournament and placed fifth on both occasions,” she said. “Competition at this tournament is fierce for the honor to represent your province and university at the national level along with the potential to represent Canada on a world scale if you are the top finalist.” According to John Papandreos, recreation services coordinator at the U of R, Spagrud is part of a growing Varsity Club Program at the University of Regina, and this tournament will
Is it true squash balls can suck your eye out? add yet another item to her already impressive resume. “The 2013 Black Knight University Championship is the premier squash event for students studying in Canada,” Papendreos said. “Performances in this event count towards National Rankings and for selection to Squash Canada’s FIS World University Games team. The 27th Summer Universiade will be held in Kazan, Russia, July 6 -17, 2013.”
Spangrud’s extensive resume also includes spending the fall semester training in Toronto at the National Squash Academy (NSA). “A squash friend of mine encouraged me to broaden my squash horizons by leaving Saskatchewan and testing myself against the best players in Canada,” Spagrud said. “I was a bit apprehensive about the idea initially because I was worried I would be out of my league against
actual professionals.” However, Spagrud proved that she could handle the increased competition, placing in the top ten at Nationals in May 2012, despite not being a full-time professional athlete. She is also currently the second-place seed heading into the tournament. “Working with Canada’s best high performance coaches at the NSA gave me tremendous insight, advice and coaching that has al-
lowed me to confidently compete and contend with the best female squash players in the country,” she said. “Along with the coaching I received, the intensity of the training and dedication has also had a dramatic improvement in my technique, creativity and mental game which could not have been achieved by training alone in Saskatchewan.” Ultimately, Spagrud was extremely happy with her decision to train in Toronto, and both the experience and confidence she gained during the fall semester will surely help her when she is back in Toronto, competing on the national stage. “In light of the training I engaged in during the first half of the squash season and my ongoing commitment to squash, I remain confident in my ability to win the Women’s Open event this year at the Canadian University Championships,” Spagrud said. “What makes this tournament so special is the fact that the top male and female finalists get to represent Canada at the World University Games. Earning the spot on the podium and moving on to represent Canada on a world scale is my ultimate goal.”
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
End of an era Paige Wheeler hits the ice for the final time taryn riemer contributor Fifth-year forward Paige Wheeler is coming to the end of her last season with the Cougars women’s hockey team, and the team’s success this year has come as a surprise. “I didn’t think we’d do as well as we did,” she said. “It was a great last season.” The girls made the playoffs this year, for the first time since Wheeler’s second year as a Cougar. Unfortunately, they lost the Canada-West semi-final series 2-1 against the University of British Columbia Thunderbirds last weekend. It was a very strong effort by the Cougars, who made CIS history in their second game after playing three overtime periods for over 94 minutes before a winner was crowned. Wheeler has had a very long career in hockey starting when she was just five years old. She has played at all levels over the years, even getting the chance to play with her older brother, Dalan, for two years. Wheeler worked her way up to playing AA boys hockey until body contact came into the league, when Dacon, Wheeler’s dad, decided he didn’t want her playing contact, and moved her to girl’s
I wish I could stop on skates as well as Paige Wheeler.
hockey. Soon she was picked up by the Weyburn Gold Wings (AAA) and played there until she made her final step to the Regina Cougars. Wheeler says that playing hockey and going to university has been a great life experience for her. “When I first came to university I thought ‘Oh I’ll just go to hockey and go to school’. I never wrote out anything on my calendar,” she said. “This has taught
me to be mature and independent.” One of the toughest things about playing hockey and going to university is the fact that a player can’t skip practice just because they have a lot of homework or a midterm the next day. Wheeler said she had to learn to balance everything, including homework, hockey and making healthy meals. But there are some up sides to playing hockey and going to
school. “It’s also a stress reliever because you’re not just going to school; you’re having fun as well,” she said. When asked about her family and what they thought about her hockey career, Wheeler couldn’t give them enough praise. “I’m grateful my family has supported me over the years,” she said. “My mom and dad love watching my games and my grandma Virginia is always there.
I also have so many friends that come to support me. And my dog, Nala, is always there for me and keeps me going when I’ve had a hard day.” Wheeler’s five years with the Cougars and has helped the team make the playoffs twice – including this year. When she looks back to her favourite memory with the girls, one stuck out more than the others. “[In my third year] we would play soccer at the old rink for warm up, it was really intense we would come two hours before the game,” Wheeler said. “We would kick the second-year’s butts. [Now fourth-years, Katelyn Kennedy, Kaitlin Sherven, and Kendra Finch]. “When you’re away from home its ok because you have another family at the rink and anyone and everyone is there with open arms … I’m going to miss seeing everyone everyday [next year],” she said. Looking into next year and her post-Cougars hockey career, Wheeler will be continuing with her schooling as she has two more years in her program. After that she is looking into travelling and, of course, teaching.
Letter to athletes Good-bye and good luck what the puck? autumn mcdowell sports editor Dear fifth-years,
It has been brought to my attention that a number of you are upset about a sub-headline that was run in the Feb.14 issue of the Carillon, which stated: “Good-bye and good riddance to fifth-years”. After hearing a number of your concerns I feel that both an apology and an explanation of the comment is in order. First of all, I would like to mention that this comment was not meant to be malicious, though I can understand why it may have been perceived this way. I was merely trying to make a joke about passing on the torch to new players and about how long some athletes have been at the U of R, which stemmed from conversations that I have had with athletes in the past, which I then decided to put into print. Former Cougars men’s volleyball player, Lindsey Isaak, gave his opinion of the comment on line, stating: “Seriously? Good riddance to fifth-year athletes? I have no idea why you felt the need to add that, but you might want to explain it. The women’s basketball team might want to hear it, considering they are bringing in a shit-ton of money by hosting nationals this year. You’re writing about sports
Nostedt and Gareau: two of the nice fifth years.
at the U of R, the least you could do is watch a fucking game or two. Or even appreciate the fact that five years is really fucking hard to do.” First of all, to respond to this comment I am well aware that it takes a lot of commitment to stay with a team for five years as many athletes that enter the program often do not make it for five full years, and I do commend those of you that have been a part of Cougars history.
The athletes at the U of R have provided me with a lot of entertainment over the past years and, for the most part, have been appreciative and supportive of what the Carillon has done in promoting campus athletics. With regards to the suggestion that the least I could do is “watch a fucking game or two,” personally, I have tried to support the Cougars and Rams athletes in many ways, often attending upwards of three different sporting
events in one day, while also encouraging others to attend and giving all of the campus teams coverage in the paper. However, with all of that aside, I understand that sometimes my joking and sarcasm may go too far and not translate in print the way that I may have originally intended, and can be difficult to recognize. With that said, I would like to say thank you, not just the fifth years, but to all of the athletes on
campus for their contributions to the school and our athletic programs during their time at the U of R. Once again, if the comment was seen as offensive or upsetting, then for that I sincerely apologize. I wish you all the best as you head into playoffs, and with your future endeavors. Sincerely, Autumn McDowell
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
Top five shitty Netflix sports movies How these even became movies is beyond me
Well if that’s not the picture of a great movie, I don’t know what is.
braden dupuis sports writer Let’s just get this out of the way. It should be no secret to anyone who’s ever browsed a Canadian Netflix account that the place is a goddamned cinematic wasteland. Netflix Canada is where the bottom of the B-movie barrel goes to die a slow, unwatchable death. I knew that fact when I decided to take on this very important and culturally relevant work of sports journalism, but that knowledge alone wasn’t enough to prepare me for the god-awful shit hole that is Netflix Canada’s sports section. If for some reason you were planning on checking it out, do yourself a favor and don’t. Just don’t. Read this article, and leave it at that. Or, if you have a special place in your heart for masochistic self-loathing like myself, you can boot up your Netflix account and experience the pain along with me. 5. Soccer Mom
From Bogner Entertainment and Ladies Home Journal (seriously), it’s Soccer Mom! A tale all the moms out there can relate to. Superficial suburbanite Wendy’s daughter hates her and she doesn’t know why! But we do – it’s because she’s a shitty mom. Instead of making things better by being a better mom, Wendy does what any Prozac-snorting mother would do – she impersonates her daughter’s favourite Italian male soccer star to ... inspire her or something? Fuck me. Anyway, the results are grotesque and disturbing, enough so that I had to stop watching
around the 20-minute mark. The whole thing is dripping in superficial suburban propaganda and it gave me the sudden urge to take two showers. It only placed at No. 5 on this list because of a brief appearance from comedy legend Kenny Bania. Gold, Jerry! Gold!
Sporting the tagline “What do you do when your life does a 180?” Hardflip drops into our emotional bowels and shreds at our fragile heartstrings. When #coolguy Caleb’s mom becomes ill, he sets out looking for the father he never knew, also, skateboarding or something. At its core, Hardflip is really nothing more than a glorified skate video sprinkled with the traditional skater daddy issues most skate videos have the good sense to leave out. Also there’s a fair amount of religious doctrine spouted through the mouth of a crazy homeless man for some reason. Isn’t that always the case? Anyway, watch Hardflip if you must, fellow bros, but be sure to have a box of man tissues nearby. 3. The Cutting Edge 3
At first I was hesitant to watch The Cutting Edge 3. Would I be able to keep up with the plot without first having watched The Cutting Edge 1 and 2? In the end I threw caution to the wind and just went for it, because I straight up don’t give a fuck. When Zach’s figure skating partner gets injured, he recruits a rough-around-the-edges female hockey player to be his partner, but it’s not long before they fall for each other! And then there’s probably some accumulating conflict
that builds to an emotional and fulfilling climax or something, because that’s how movies work. To be honest, I didn’t watch a second of this movie, but Wikipedia told me it’s an ABC Family original (shudder). They also apparently made a fourth, because fuck you, shut up and watch it with your family. 2. The Winning Season
Dear God. As terrible as their selection is, Netflix writes some seriously awesome synopses for their movies. “A school principal asks his drunken dishwasher friend Bill to coach the girls’ basketball squad, changing Bill’s life as he bonds with the team,” reads the synopsis for The Winning Season. That was enough for me. I didn’t watch this movie, and I never will, because that synopsis nailed it. I don’t have to watch the real movie to know that the movie I created in my head after reading
that synopsis is at least 95 per cent accurate. Netflix, in an unprecedented act of corporate mercy, is now saving us the torture of watching their garbage by straight up beaming that shit directly into our minds. Well played, Netflix, and I must say, it’s about time.
1. Beach Kings
I watched three minutes of Beach Kings. It’s about a failed basketball player who tries his hand at beach volleyball, and it sucks. I know this, because I have eyes and ears and the slightest sense of critical awareness. After hours spent slogging through Netflix: Canada’s sewer system, I’m left with more than a few burning questions. Who in their right mind would willingly subject themselves to this shit? Better yet, who in their right mind would star in, write, film, produce, or even green light this shit? And who in the depths of Satan’s
sex parlour is making money off the idiot-faced assholes dumb enough to pay actual money to spend an hour-and-a-half watching a D-list actor play beach volleyball while spouting playground-calibre one liners?! Who, goddammit?! This is why our politicians have no qualms in lying to our faces and bending us over repeatedly for their own ideological agendas – they’re comfortable in the knowledge that a large majority of everyday people are simply too fucking stupid to notice that they’re being fucked, and they should be. Wow. Sorry about that, friends. I’m not exactly sure how I managed to turn this playful, Netflix-themed edition of the top five into a bitter commentary on the state of our modern-day political system, but there it is. If you need me, I’ll be in the shower.
cco an a d a im nfe da ee ra a to iksn o fm stud e n tsy sa sk atn ch e w a nsatu d e n ts a t i l o n c i h j l c o n o v e i a l t o n u d e fi r r e t h s t p e e c h slb td e p h e n h a r p e r c a n a d a i n e e l c t o i n t w t i e t r i u n e s k a n y e w e s t WE LIED a y g a g a t p a n i a u t o t u n e r e c e s s o i n a f g h a n s i t a n t a s e r s d o m e a o l i u t s h e a t l h c a r e b a n k r u p t c y s w e a t e r v e s t h p i s t e r get over it, we’re the media. d o u c h e b a g s t h o s e a s s h o e l s w h o g v i e y o u t c i k e t s w h e n y ou pn aa rkd n ita h e w ro n g p a lsftcu eo n cn atm pa u sh ath len iw ga sca p tia siltg ay m c a i n f e d e r a t o i n o d e s a s k t c n s t u d e n t s c o a t i l o n m c i h a e a j l c k s o n m o v e i a l y t o n u n d e fi r r e t h a s t p e e c h March 7 AGM has moved from The Carillon’s sltd ep haeg na h aa rp eu rca ntu ad a ie n e e lscsto o in na tw tie trin usin e stk a nrsy e w ee st a y g t p n i a t o n r e c e i f g h a t a n a s e d o m to March 21 b a o l i u t s h e a t l h c a r e b a n k r u p t c y s w e a t e r v e s t h p i s t e r d o u c h e b a g s t h o s e a s s h o e l s w h o g v i e y o u t c i k e t s w h e n Be sure to check out the Carillon’s website to view y o u p a r k n i t h e w r o n g p a l c e o n c a m p u s a t h l n i g s c a p t i a s i l t g a y m a r a i g e a n d a f a h 1 n 1 m c i h a e a j l c k s o n m o v e i a l y t o n u n all of the public motions, and don’t forget to d e r fi r e t h a t s p e e c h s t e p h e n h a r p e r c a n a d a i n e e l c t o i n t w t i e r tia u n e s k a n y e w e s t a l d y g a g a t p a n i a u t o t u n e r e c e s s o i n email email@example.com to add ab motion f g h a n s i t a n t a s e r s d o m e b a o l i u t s h e a t l h c a r e a n k r u p t c y syw e a t e v r e s t h p i s t e d r o u c h e b a g s t h o s e a s s h o e l s w h o g v i es yourself o u t c i k e t s w h e n y o u p a r k n i t h e w r o n g p a l c e o n c a m p u a tlhn icih gase ca siltn g aym a ra ito gn e an nd de afi a ia gstp ea a ap hh 1n 1 m ja lcp ktsia o m ove ia ly u rfaa retrh en ed ch stfe en
Visual Editor: Arthur Ward firstname.lastname@example.org the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
Op-Ed Editor: Edward Dodd email@example.com the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
Wrestling with the truth Last week, the International Olympic Committee secretly voted to remove wrestling from the list of 25 “core” Olympic sports. The decision ends 117 years of wrestling at the modern Olympics, and was met with outrage by the international wrestling community. Wrestling experts the world over have cited the rich history of the sport, primarily its place in the early Olympic Games in ancient Greece, as the main argument to keep the sport around. Wrestling is one of the most effective and refined combative sports ever devised, and it will forever remain one of the most crucial tools in a martial artist’s arsenal. There is no doubt that the Olympic Games are largely responsible for the evolution and refinement of the sport over the last hundred years. The Games created the ultimate prize that every sport needs to build a following and a grassroots base. Dreams of making it to the Olympics are what motivate athletes to be the best in the world, and ultimately grow their respective sports in the process. For wrestling, that’s over now. However, what I just said about wrestling could be said about any sport on the “core” roster – most Olympic sports need the Games just as much as wrestling does. It might be a hard pill for many North American’s to swallow, but the IOC made a pretty rational decision when they kicked wrestling out the door. Sure, there were other sports like the pentathlon that had their heads on the chopping block as well, but based on the IOC’s criteria wrestling deserved the guillotine. Freestyle and Greco-Roman wrestling ranks close to the bottom in several important categories judged by the IOC Programme Committee – including worldwide popularity, television viewers, ticket sales, and anti-doping programs. The outrage from the wrestling and mixed martial arts communities around North America has been understandable considering the IOC’s horrible record of providing a clear rationale for their decisions. The vote to remove wrestling from the Games was held in private, and the
IOC Programme Committee’s reports are usually explained to the media using vague language – not to mention the reports are a nightmare to read. The IOC report doesn’t rank the individual sports, meaning that IOC board members had to sift through the entire 235-page report before casting their vote; who thinks they actually did it? It might be a pain in the ass to deal with, but traditionally the IOC Programme Committee Report is entirely accurate. While this year’s report is yet to be published, the previous IOC report does provide some insight into what this year’s edition might have looked like. According to the last report, wrestling averaged 29.5 million viewers during competition. That might seem like a healthy number, but they become uninspiring when compared with archery’s 40.1 million, table tennis’ 40.4 million, and athletics’ 65.2 million. Even canoeing received several million more viewers than wrestling. Wrestling also accounted for a meager 1.1 per cent of ticket sales, well below the averages of sports with comparative TV audiences. In addition, wrestling events gathered a weak following online. The sport’s international doping strategy was also ranked low. On average, there were twice as many reports of anti-doping rule violations in wrestling than athletics, rowing, volleyball, and triathlons just to name a few. If this year’s IOC report looks anything like the last one, it is pretty clear that wrestling is not as popular on the world stage as many North Americans would like to believe. It might be hard to watch sports like table tennis and archery keep their Olympic status while wrestling is kicked to the curb, but the fact of the matter is that table tennis and archery are more popular on an international level. Yes wrestling does have a decorated history, and it played a pivotal role in some of the earliest athletic competitions, but we have reached a point where that is the only value wrestling brings to the Olympic community. Is it really that hard to believe that the IOC voted to remove a sport that was a lousy draw, with a less-than-commendable
we know we’ve run this before, but it’s such an epic photograph anti-doping record? We have to admit that the popularity of wrestling is based in North America and a select few Asian countries, not worldwide. It might seem shocking on our side of the planet, but no one outside of a handful of nations is making any noise about the IOC’s decision. It is time that we realize why.
dietrich neu editor-in-chief
More than a dress size
Sometimes the best of intentions doesn’t turn out quite like we want them to. I recently learned of a campaign called “Say No To Size Zero”, which describes itself as “a petition to ban all size zero models with an unhealthy BMI (below 18.5).” I understand and applaud the effort to deconstruct the arbitrary ideal that women have to be skinny to be beautiful and valued. However, I think the campaign is addressing the issue in the wrong way. The root problem is not the fact that many models are less than the average weight. It is that society places more emphasis on looks than it does on health and achievements. Demonizing or undervaluing women who happen to have to lower BMIs (which could in part be due to smaller bone structures or other factors and is not necessarily unhealthy) only serves to ensure that the dialogue concerning the value of women remains focused on their physical appearance. Take, for example, the popular Facebook photo which features photos of women from different weight categories and the caption “When did this... become
hotter than this?” I like to hope this was well intentioned, but the notion of comparing women based solely on their physical appearance promotes objectification and only serves to further entrench the idea that all that matters about women is how they look. The conversation needs to shift from
what the “right” kind of body looks like to a focus on the necessary components of a healthy lifestyle and a promotion of the fact that women’s value is not directly proportional to their clothing size. We don’t need to send the message that it’s not okay to be small. Some people are size zero and perfectly healthy. We need to send the mes-
sage that women are valuable for their ideas, their ambitions, and their passions – and that beauty is much more than skin deep.
alexandra mortensen contributor
the carillon | Feb. 28 - Mar. 6, 2013
Death or taxes “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” This old adage is often credited to Benjamin Franklin, and points to an existential fear among many North Americans towards taxes as a source of nothing but pain, suffering, and problems. Taxes have been labelled as job-killing, money-grubbing, and the ultimate pain-in-the-ass. Suggesting raising taxes can be political suicide, and even suggesting a revamping of the tax system as the Federal Liberal Party did in 2008 with their “Green Shift” platform can lead to anger, confusion, and rejection. But this rhetoric surrounding taxes ignores that taxes are an essential part of contemporary society. This isn’t the Wild West where vigilantes take care of law, people expect to die of tuberculosis before age 40, and there’s one rail line for transportation. Taxes could be low in such a world. This is an advanced society that comes with roads, rails, planes, hospitals, police stations, schools, universities, and a wide variety of other modern comforts we take for granted. Take universities as an example. The Saskatchewan government has been very clear that they are preparing to axe university funding in order to force the institutions to “find efficiencies.” This has essentially meant, at least at the University of Regina, that sessional instructors in highdemand degrees such as English and other humanities are going to be laid off or not hired. The funding shortfall is even more acute at the University of Saskatchewan. Then consider that the NDP cut the provincial sales tax to 5 per cent back in 2006 in a blatant attempt to buy votes be-
fore the 2007 election. This tax cut was a short-sighted policy which lost an approximate $325 million in revenue for the province and still failed to influence the election. This loss has not been replaced by other stable revenue, instead being made up since then by the variable royalties that come in from potash and oil revenues. Knowing that the provincial economy is larger than in 2006 when the PST was cut, a temporary increase of the PST by a half per cent or one per cent would easily cover the combined deficit of the University of Saskatchewan and the University of Regina, which stands at around $50 million. A government truly dedicated to the health and well-being of these necessary institutions of higher learning would not hesitate to take such action to properly fund them. While it might be temporarily unpopular, for most people such an increase would be barely noticeable and would raise the funds necessary to provide stable post-secondary education funding. This is not the only solution, obviously, for an increase of royalty rates could produce similar revenue, or an increase in corporate taxes, or a cutting of the huge subsidies paid out to the oil and gas industry. But it is a potential solution that does not mutilate two very important institutions in our province and breaks out of the notion that funding cuts are inevitable and so should be managed instead of opposed. Taxes are not inherently a problem. They can act as a solution, and as such should not be treated with the overwhelming and vitriolic disdain they have been in the past by most of North American society.
This dude is on money If we eliminate taxes from Franklin’s statement, the only certainty left in life will be death. Even if taxes are sometimes a pain, at least I know as long as I am paying them, I am still alive. And so might be my university.
edward dodd op-ed editor
Papal matters Officially, as of today, Pope Benedict XVI will have resigned his Papal title in a surprise announcement he made a couple of weeks ago. This resignation is an act that has not happened in hundreds of years, but more importantly this early retirement leaves speculation as to who will become the new leader of the Catholic Church. The Pope who preceded Benedict broke a record himself, becoming the first nonItalian Pope since the 14th century, when Karol Wojtyl became Pope John Paul II in 1978. The election of a Polish nationalist to the highest seat in the Vatican was no accident, and his long and productive term resulted in tangible political change, directly in Eastern Europe, and indirectly all over the world. In picking a new Pope, this is exactly what the Papal Conclave should strive for; a young, motivated leader who will do more than just guide spiritually, but will also lead politically. A leader who can actually change the trajectory of the church (social issues are a whole different issue), and not merely read Latin. The Vatican made a fundamental mistake picking Benedict to be their Pope for numerous reasons, mainly being his age, and secondly being that he seemed disinterested in politics, or perhaps seemingly so in contrast to his predecessor. Benedict’s political contributions have been sparse outside of demeaning Muslims in a 2006 speech where he quoted Manuel II Palaiologos, a fourteenth century Byzantine emperor who said, “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.” To elect someone to be more than just a Bishop of Rome would mean picking
who is not white? This remains to be seen. This question in turn leads to another dilemma. A chronic problem of all politics worldwide is the exclusion of women, with very few women in executive power positions and only slightly more in positions of less power in various governments. Whatever the reason for this exclusion, the Catholic Church is obviously extremely patriarchal, and this, in turn, directly makes the Catholic Church less effective by cutting their pool of potential Popes in half, and thus limiting the talent that could lead the Vatican. This same argument applies to any government worldwide, to a more or a lesser degree. Of course, women will not be leading the church anytime soon, because a necessary prerequisite would require women to be active at all other levels of the Church’s hierarchy, starting with being priests and so on and so forth. According to a 2010 document from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith called “Norms concerning the most serious crimes” priests involved in sexual abuse cases had committed a grave crime, but the document also didn’t forget to clarify that the ordination of women was an equally serious crime. In this sense, a sexual abuser has a better chance of becoming Pope than a woman.
All in all, I am going to miss Benedict XVI
someone who is knowledgeable about today’s world politics, and willing to do something to affect things for the better. It is well known that people’s religious beliefs easily affect their political outlook, and in this sense the Catholic Church has an advantage that other major religions do not
possess. This person would mostly likely be someone from an area of political interest, like John Paul II himself, so this could potentially mean the election of an African or Asian leader. This naturally leads into the question, is the Catholic Church ready to have a Pope
michael chmielewski contributor
cm an a d a i n f e d e r a t o i n o f s t u d e n t s The Carillon: sa sk a t c h e w a n s t u d e n t s c o a t i l o n c i h a e a j l c k s o n m o v e i a l y t o n u n d e r fi r e t h a t s p e e c h s t e p h e n h a r p e r c a n a d a i n e e l c t o i n t w t i e r t i u n e s k a n y e w e s t destroyer of hopes and a la d y g a g a t p a n i a u t o t u n e r e c e s s o i n f g h a n s i t a n t a s e r s d o m e b a o l i u t s h e a t l h c a r e b a n k r u p t c y s w e a t e r v e s t h p i s t e r dreams. d o u c h e b a g s t h o s e a s s h o e l s w h o g v i e y o u t c i k e t s w h e n y o u p a r k n i t h e w r o n g p a l c e o n c a m p u s a t l h n i g s c a p t i a s i l t g a y Since the APR m c a n a d a i n f e d e r a t o i n o f s t u d e n tssaskatchewanstudentscoatilon
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The Literary Supplement