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Follo'w Go,d's will, not parliamentary procedure VATICAN CITY (NC) Priests who are chaplains to lay Catholic organizations must not be the groups' "managers" nor individual members indistbct from the others in the group,according to a new document fr()m the Pontifical Council for the Laity. It also and importantly s."id that democratic methods such as parliamentary procedures are not necessarily the best form of reaching decisions in church organizations. The document emphasized that within church groups God does not work through "agreeme::lts reached by a vote," but a common concensus achieved throu,gh prayer and mutual discernment of the will of God. In the 52-page document, "Priests Within Associations of the Faithful: Identity and Mission," the council discusses the role of ecclesiastical assistants, who often use the titles "spiJit-
ual advisor" or "chaplain," and the purpose and goals of lay organizations. Officials stressed that it was meant to promote discussion of the issues and was not a definitive council document. Nevertheless, within minutes after its release, the guessing game began. What had prompted the statement? Is this another rebuke to priests who have "politicized" their activity? The answer does not lie in immediate current events. The document was actually in preparation for 10 years, so its origin antedates any recent event. More than likely it was generated by the simple fact that since Vatican II the nature of the work of many priests has changed as has the relationship between priests and laity, and the council felt that some guidance would help. Many cynical comments have
been made on the proliferation of organizations within the church. One pastor said: "When the end of the world comes, the chances are that I will be at a meeting." What the laity council's document seeks to answer is a question which troubles many priests: As a priest, how can he justify all the time he spends at meetings? Many press reports highlighted the document as another warning to priests to avoid involvement on the managerial and political level with lay groups. Such a synopsis captures some of the truth but misses most of it. It ignores the positive thrust of the document which, more than offering a warning, holds out an ideal to the contemporary priest of always being a spiritual force. The document does not say that the priest is the only legiTurn to Page Eleven
Grief at Christmas By Pat McGowan You're supposed to be' happy at Christmas, right? But what if you're a parent who's lost a child? Trees, gifts, carols, all the traditions of the season can be agonizing to a mother or father recalling a child who cannot share them. On the one hand, grieving parents may push themselves to appear joyful for the sake of other children or family members' .or, on the other hand, feel guilty if they do find themselves enjoying the holidays. The tangled emotions following a child's death, emoticns heightened during a season when most people at least appear joyful, were recently discussed in Swansea at a chapter meeting of Compassionate Friends, an international organization offering friendship and understanding to bereaved parents. Founded in England in 19H9, the Friends have over 200 U.S. chapters. One of the newest meets at St. Louis de France Church, Swansea. Led by Leo and Georgette LeComte of Somerset, who have lost two children, one in infan<:y, the other, a teenage boy, through murder, some 25 parents talked about how they cope with the holidays.
Many attending for the first time, were visibly nervous, clutching each other's hands. Several spoke through tears as they introduced themselves and gave the age and cause of death of their children. The discussion was started by a panel consisting of Ronald Pontes, director of social services and Sister Mary Margaret, OP, pastoral minister, both of St. Anne's Hospital, Fall River; and Rev. David Buehler of the Pro. testant pastoral ministry program of Charlton Memorial Hospital, also in Fall River. "The holidays are a bad time to be bereaved," said Pontes. "You may feel angry or think it very unjust if you seem to be the only sad one. It might seem you shouldn't celebrate at all, but maybe the holidays can be a deeper time for you, remembering that the reason life is precious is that it will be gone some day." Pontes reminded the parents that even for those not recently bereaved, holidays may not be very happy. "They can be a time of personal and family conflicts, financial burdens, bad memories and disillusionment. At the least, everyone feels stress at Christmas. "If you do begin to enjoy life and celebrate the holidays," he
said, "maybe you can bring your lost child forward with you and not feel guilty. "We're all journeying and it's important to let others journey with you and share your sorrow. This might be a good resolution for the New Year." As to holiday parties, Pontes said bereaved parents should be "enlightenedly selfish," not, for instance, accepting all invitations but seeking "nurturing" people, not toxic ones." But he cautioned that holiday expectations should be realistic. "Don't look for too much. It's not a magic time." Pointing out that "Advent prepares us for the arrival of a child who came into the world to die," Mr. Buehler said that religious faith can offer strength during the holidays "and maybe help us to help others who may be in an even harder place." Grieving parents should probably observe Christmas traditions, observed the minister, "unless they bring the lost one too sharply to mind." But he said one should question changes in established patterns: "Why am I doing this? Am I running away from something? Would Christmas be Christmas if I omit this custom? How will other children in the family feel about it?" Turn to Page Six
THIS PAINTING depicts Juan Diego unfolding his mantle to display the miraculous painting of Our Lady of Guadalupe. (NC Photo)
Guadalupe Mass By Father Kevin J. Harrington Saturday is the 450th anni路 versary of the apparition of Our Lady of Guadalupe. It will be observed in our diocese at a bi路 lingual Mass to be concelebrated at 12:05 p.m. Saturday at St. Mary's Cathedral by Bishop Daniel A. Cronin and his priest. collaborators in the Attleboro, New Bedford and Taunton areas. They are Father James E. Murphy in the Taunton area; Father Maurus Muldoon, OFM, in the New Bedford area: and myself in the Attleboro area. We are assisted in our pastoral care of over 10,000 Hispanic Catholics in the diocese by four Guadalupanas sisters from Mexico for whom Saturday will be a truly special day. It will also, of course, be a day for both Anglo and Hispanic Catholics to manifest devotion to Mary under the aspect of her apparition in the Americas. At 6:30 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 20, WNAC Channel 7 will carry "La
Morenita," an account of Guadalupe and an exploration into its meaning for Hispanics today. The story of Guadalupe began on Dec. 9, 1531, when Mary appeared on a hillside near the Aztec shrine of Tepeyac and told an Aztec peasant, 51-year-old Juan Diego, a recent convert to Catholicism, that she wanted a church built there. The ecclesial authority, Bishop Zumarranga was skeptical and demanded a sign. Juan was directed on December 12, 1531 by Mary to pick some roses (not in bloom then) which he took to Bishop Zumarraga wrapped in his cloak. When the cloak was opened, miraculously painted on it was found a portrait of the Mother of God. This cloak has become the center of the largest shrine in the western hemisphere, attracting more pilgrims than Lourdes and Fatima c0l!lbined. It is the centerpiece of Marian Turn to Page Two