FALL RIVER DIOCESAN NEWSPAPER
t ean VOL. 29, NO. 27
FOR SOUTHEAST MASSACHUSETTS CAPE COD & THE
I~;LANDS
FALL RIVER, MASS., FRIDAY, JULY 12, 1985
$8 Per Year
'We fell in love all over again'
Marriage as it's meant to be
By Pat McGowan "Those do not love who do not show their Jove." Those words of Shakespeare are taken very seriously by Terri and Dan Cesarz of Our l.ady of Mt. Car mel parish, seekonk. So seriously that ,the young couple regularly take time from their busy, lives to share with others what they've Jearned about showing love. Their education came through Worldwide Marriage Encounter, a weekend program usually held ,in motels or retreat houses that has reached hundreds of thou sands of couples since its begin nings in Spain in the 1950s. But it wasn't an education they were initially eager to ac quire. "We kept hearing about the weekend from friends," said Dan, 33, an engineer, "baL ;;Ie couldn't figure out why we'd want to go. We ,thought our marriage was fine just the way it was." But the friends kept saying things like "You don't need the weekend, but you deserve 41" and "This program is to make good marriages better." Also the Cesarzes observed several couples in their parish who had been "encountered." "We didn't know them well, but we Hked what we saw of
their relationships," said blue eyed Terri, 32, a student teacher. Eventually, after some 18 month of thinking it over, the couple decided three years ago, "Why not - it won't hurt to have a weekend alone together." From Michigan, they had no built-in babysitters for Vanessa, now 9, and Nathan, 7, but oblig ing neighbors cared for the youngsters and their parents were off.
Friday night we asked our selves, "What are we doing here?" related Dan. But by Sun day, said Terri, "We almost didn't want to leave." What lay ,between Friday and Sunday was a progmm during which three couples and a priest gave talks on aspects of married Hfe such as sex, money matters; interpersonal relationships, in cluding who's the boss; and the place of children, grandparents
and other in-laws in the family. Following each talk the couples went to their own rooms to discuss the points presented, applying them totl1leir own lives. There is no public sharing of personal aspects of individual marriages,emphasized the Ces arzes. "So many people seem to think it's a group confession type of thing," said Terri. "There's none of that."
THE CESARZES: VANESSA, TERRI, DAN, NATHAN
What is offered is a technique of communication that couples can contiriue to use after the weekend. "It's h~d a great ef fect on our relationship - I think we fell in love all over again," said Terri. "It brings you ba,ck to your early days of marriage, when anything was possible." The favorable fallout has spread to the chEdren. "We lis ten to them better and try to understand them more," said Dan. "And we think it's important for them to see parents who love each other and express that love," added Terri. "We want them to have a positive and hopeful attitude about marriage - at the same time, we want them to see that parents can disagree. Before, we always tried to hide that sort of thing from them." After their experience, said the Cesanes, they decided to spread the "super news" of Marriage Encounter. "Once you make a weekend, you want everyone to make it," summed up Dan. Today they help present an Encounter weekend once or twice yearly. They also conduct parish information nights and occasionally are invited to speak at weekend Masses. They call Turn to Page Seven
Pope calls ecumenism pastoral priority
VATICAN CITY (NC) - Pope John Paul II says the churc%i's commitment to ecumenism is "irrevocable," but he warns against "easy solutions" that ig nore differences of faith between Catholics and other Christians. The way Itowaro full Christian unity requires patience, "especi lally on the part of public opin ion," he recently told cardinals and Vatican officials in St. Peter's Basilica. He called for "new momentum" in ecumenical progress. The speech came on the eve of the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul. Patience does not mean "in ctivity or resignation," the pope aid. Despite some people's rong impression that "the ini ial (ecuQ)enical) push has been topped," he said, "this move ent is proceeding, without a
any thing stable or solid," he eral secretary of the World doubt." Council of Churches, have ex Emphasizing the "profound said. The pope said the special sy pressed apprehension that the communion" between Christian churches, he nevertheless added nod he has called to review the synod might slow down the fuat there remain "questions Second Vatican Coundl will help ecumenical movement. But the pope said the Novem boost ecumenism.
that still divide us in the pro ber-December synod was called Some religious leaders, includ
fession of the fatth. to "impart a new impetus to the ,ing the Rev. Emilio Castro, gen "We need to ask: can it really realization of the various coun be called progress to ignore cil decisions, and to lI'eaffirm the these questions or act as if they spirit that inspired them." are resolved, when they are not," He said that ecumenism for . the pope said. He said unity in him as bishop of Rome "consti profession of the faith should tutes one of the pastoral priori be the heart of Christian unity, • The ties." and must be the basis of unity "Only Christ, as we all know 400 ... ,in the celebration of the Euchar and believe, gives sense to man's ist. me and his efforts. We must p.8 To q-ecognize this "does not say this 'together," the pope mean putting the brakes on the said. • Happy ecumenioal movement," the pope "Unfortunately, this common said. witness is often fimited because Sunday ••• we have not reached complete "On ,the contrary, it means p.13 agreement about its content. But avoiding agreement to easy solu this awareness should neither tions, which would not arrive at
inside
stop us nor discourage us," he
said.
The pope, whose audience in
cluded Orthodox Ecumenical Pa
triarch Dimitrios I, praised Cath
olic-Orthodox dialogue on a growing number of theological issues. "The church must Jearn to breathe again with its two lungs - thl! Eastern one and the West ern o::le," the pope said. Thll pope 1inkod his reaffirma tion of ecumenical commitment with a reminder of the primacy of the bishop of Rome. It was through "the mysterious design of providence" that the lives of the two saints ended in Rome, the pope said. As inheritor of the church of Peter and Paul, the pope said, the bishop of Rome has the mis Turn to Page Seven