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Vol. 21 Issue. 16

June 5 to June 18, 2013

Cultivating a farmer’s tan since 1993

Vulnerable predators Delta shelter rescues orphaned birds of prey p. 6

SUS rep joins national CASA board p. 4

Hackey Sack in the Fraser Valley p. 19



A smack of jellyfish

Tune into this issue’s science and technology column to learn more about the world’s rising jellyfish population. Is it normal? What’s causing it? and should we be scared? (Answer: yes.)


Pipeline battle far from over

Arts & Life

A new way of looking at doilies


Sports & Health

Grow food on your balcony!

Media and citizens alike heralded the defeat of the Enbridge pipeline proposal this month, but the fight against overland oil should not be considered over. Nick Ubels dives into the reality behind the headlines and warns of ways Enbridge may try to lull you into a false sense of security.

Head down to The Reach gallery in Abbotsford to see scientific specimens of the elusive crocheted doily. Artist Brenna Maag is behind an exhibition titled Observation of Wonder, aimed at showing the connection between art, craft and science.

Living in an apartment doesn’t mean you can’t have a garden. Katie Stobbart explains that if you’ve got a balcony that gets some sun, it can be the perfect place to grow. And it won’t only benefit you. Balcony gardens provide important green space for birds and other important wildlife. Best of all, it’s easy!

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pg. 13

pg. 19

pg. 4


SUS reaches quorum, but can it keep the momentum? DESSA BAYROCK THE CASCADE

Much to my surprise, delight and chagrin, SUS recently succeeded in drawing close to 100 students to the first attempt of an Extraordinary General Meeting. SUS’s quorum—the set number of students required at a meeting to make it official— is set at one per cent of their membership, which usually clocks in between 85-95 students. This is the first time in living memory that enough students have showed up to fulfill that requirement. I’ve had the pleasure of attending close to a dozen SUS meetings over the last year or so, including first attempts, second attempts and regular board meetings. Roughly 10,000 students are considered members of SUS; approximately 9,980 of them usually find something else to occupy their time. This meeting, however, was different. On May 27, SUS reached quorum. But how? SUS went the extra mile in a couple of ways; they took out full-page ad space in our last

issue, they had the university send out a student-wide email, and SUS reps visited a multitude of student clubs and associations on campus to both inform about the meeting and beg students to attend. Something worked; the students packed into the meeting, voted on the motion and filed out again. The EGM was called to vote on a single issue: the Student Union Building (SUB). Does the student body still approve of getting a mortgage to build it? It’s a question that must be revisited every year – a failsafe built into the plan to ensure students still approve of the plans. The student body, after all, changes dramatically from year to year as old students graduate and new ones arrive in classes for the very first time. But if all goes according to plan, this will be the last time students voice their opinion on the matter. If all goes according to plan, SUS will finally break ground this summer. Personally, I’ve been paying into the building since I arrived at UFV – to the tune

of $385 total. Is a shiny new building worth almost $400 of my hard-earned cash? Frankly, I’ve given up considering the matter. I’ve reached a state of SUB exhaustion, and I would wager I’m not the only one. Consider the 92 students who signed into the EGM last week; there was barely any discussion about the motion, which lasted a mere 16 minutes. We’re done discussing. Build the damn thing, I want to tell SUS. Then we’ll talk about whether it was worth it. Succeeding at an EGM’s first attempt is a wonderful feeling. For once, the tweets of “We’ve almost reached quorum!” were not sarcastic, which was also wonderful, if momentarily confusing. The question now is whether or not SUS will be able to do it again. The pessimist in me says that this EGM was extraordinary (pardon the pun). After all, SUS pulled out all the stops to rally student interest to push a specific motion through, and when are we likely to see that happen again? On the other hand, the reason this meeting succeeded is how every meeting has a chance to

succeed in the future. All too often, SUS meetings devolve into tangents of surprise motions and amendments, which stretches the process out as board members and students alike struggle to understand what’s going on. But if SUS keeps to this newfound template of EGMs—one issue up for discussion, clearly laid out beforehand and welladvertised—then maybe the ghostly adversary of student apathy can be defeated. This EGM began and finished in the same half-hour; given busy student schedules, that’s about what we’re willing to spare. It’s not about subject matter, because SUS proved that students are willing to show up and get involved. It’s about focus. It’s because SUS narrowed this meeting to a single issue— and stuck to that issue, and that issue only—that this meeting was successful. All I can say is that by staying focused, it would seem that anything is possible – even getting to the point where ground can be broken on the mythical SUB.

Editor-in-chief Dessa Bayrock Managing editor Michael Scoular Business manager Joe Johnson Online editor Michael Scoular Production manager Stewart Seymour Art director Anthony Biondi Copy editor Joel Smart News editor Jess Wind Interim opinion editor Nick Ubels Interim arts & life editor Amy Van Veen Interim sports editor Joel Smart Photojournalist Blake McGuire Staff writers Katie Stobbart, Griffy Vigneron, and Jasper Moedt Contributors Jeremy Hannaford, Hailey Rollheiser, Adam Roper, and Tim Ubels

Printed By International Web exPress


June 6

June 15

June 15

Enlist in the human/zombie war

Notes from the Fort

Mostly Mozart

Battle of the Bands

Snatch up your best and brightest Nerf weapons in an effort to quell the zombie uprising. Base camp sets up at 5:30 p.m. at Aftermath, where pizza, soft drinks and comrades will be close at hand during the Nerf battle against the undead. The capture-theflag-esque event will go forward rain or shine, and is open to UFV students only.

When was the last time you built a blanket fort? Maybe it was last week and maybe it was when you were 12, but either way it’s been too long. Head to the Reach Gallery in Abbotsford at 7 p.m. to see Michelle Elrick build a fort and explore the meaning of home during her poetry reading. The event is free to the public, and you’d be a fool to turn down a fort.

Sunshine has finally arrived in the valley, and with it a wave of relaxation. Why not take time to smell the Mozart? The Fraser Valley Philharmonic Society presents their annual Mostly Mozart concert at UFV’s Yale Road campus in Chilliwack. The classical melodies start playing at 7:30 p.m. and tickets are $20 for students, available at the door.

Volume 21 · Issue 16 Room C1027 33844 King Road Abbotsford, BC V2S 7M8 604.854.4529

Eighteen bands. Ten weeks. The battle is on. CIVL is hosting Battle of the Bands at Aftermath, held every Saturday from May 11 to July 13. Doors open at 7 p.m., and bands go from 7:30 until 9. Tickets are only $5 per night, beer is only $5 a bottle, and the full musical glory of the schedule is available online at

The Cascade is UFV’s autonomous student newspaper. It provides a forum for UFV students to have their journalism published. It also acts as an alternative press for the Fraser Valley. The Cascade is funded with UFV student funds. The Cascade is published every Wednesday with a circulation of 1500 and is distributed at UFV campuses and throughout Abbotsford, Chilliwack, and Mission. The Cascade is a member of the Canadian University Press, a national cooperative of 75 university and college newspapers from Victoria to St. John’s. The Cascade follows the CUP ethical policy concerning material of a prejudicial or oppressive nature. Submissions are preferred in electronic format through e-mail. Please send submissions in “.txt” or “.doc” format only. Articles and letters to the editor must be typed. The Cascade reserves the right to edit submissions for clarity and length. The Cascade will not print any articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic or libellous content. The writer’s name and student number must be submitted with each submission. Letters to the editor must be under 250 words if intended for print. Only one letter to the editor per writer in any given edition. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect that of UFV, Cascade staff and collective, or associated members.


SUS legal fees run over budget



Aftermath-related legal fees necessary cost, says Potter



Anyone who follows SUS politics is well aware that they‘ve called their lawyers unexpectedly more than once in the last year. The first came during the break between the fall and winter semesters when the campus pub was issued a cease and desist for the name Aftermath Socialhouse. The issue arose from the word Socialhouse, which was shared with another local liquor establishment. All branding bearing the name was removed, and SUS began the process of legally copywriting the name Aftermath. The next call to the lawyers came during election season when policies and procedures were called into question at the ratification meeting. It was halted due to an accusation that presidential candidate Chris Doyle was wrongly removed from the ballot. SUS consulted lawyers over the matter when another student threatened to sue SUS for violating the BC Societies Act, which they are legally bound to uphold. SUS was never taken to court, but still paid to have a lawyer confirm policies were upheld and regulations were followed. SUS president Shane Potter ex-

plained legal fees added up over the last year, but no single incident was to blame and the cost of these unexpected situations was not enough to put the SUS budget in jeopardy. “Essentially it is over budget, but it wasn’t one instance that really put us over budget. It was mostly the building,” Potter explained. He referred to the costs incurred from drawing up the legal documents between contractors, the university and the bank to break ground on the infamous Student Union Building. The result has found SUS spending over $40,000 from their 2012/2013 budget, something that wasn’t necessarily accounted for. “When the budget was made last year, the understanding of how much it actually costs to do up multiple contracts was not exactly clear,” he said. “I think we expected that they’d be a little more spread out than they were, but because of delays here and there with the building, we really fast-tracked everything through.” Potter confirmed that approximately $34,000 was spent on lawyers to draw up contracts, agreements, motions and other necessary documents to see the

Image: Dessa Bayrock

The Student Union Building was a major factor in contributing to SUS’s unexpected legal fees. building come to life. Other than that, he explained, they were within what they had budgeted for. “The only thing where we went over budget on, and that was just because essentially this year was the year that we signed all the contracts and dotted all the i’s, was for the building. That

was the major cost,” he said. “But it wasn’t anything we couldn’t absorb.” Potter assured that although the fees were higher than expected, they were vital to the building being approved and ground being broken this August. “Any time we enter in an agreement with a bank, with the

school, with any sort of party that’s outside our own, any time we do anything where we have to have a long term agreement with any entity that is not ourselves, we need a lawyer,” he explained. “If you’re plopping a $15 million building in the ground, you want to make sure that you have everything legally in order.”

Changes to registration may reduce waitlists KATIE STOBBART THE CASCADE

Fall registration is coming up quickly and students will be getting a few surprises when they go to enter their course registration numbers (CRNs). Registration is later than usual this year, but the reason for the delay is one which most students may find worth the wait. The Office of the Registrar (OReg), formerly known as Admissions and Records, is making improvements to the registration process. For those who promptly stopped checking their student email at the end of last semester, the changes outlined by OReg include automatic course prerequisite checks, paying the $200 deposit before registering, and allowing payments using Interac online. The aim of these changes is to “reduce registration errors and course waitlists,” Darren Francis, deputy registrar, explains in an email notification sent to students. “Students who do not meet prerequisites for a course will not be able to register for it,” the email notes. “[Paying the deposit] will avoid students registering and then later being removed for not paying the deposit on time.” The ability to pay with Interac online rather than through

Image: Anthony Biondi / The Cascade

Among other changes, the initial registration fee are now required before course selection. the bank or at OReg in person has the potential to greatly cut down on queues on campus. Payments made via online banking can take a couple of days; OReg wants to make registration happen a lot faster.

“Interac Online is an instantaneous payment method. Students will be able to pay online and register right after. Payment by online banking is not instantaneous. Students who pay by online banking should pay in

advance of their registration appointment to ensure the payment has been received,” Kim Daley, OReg’s senior enrolment services assistant says. “Early deposit payments are welcome and encouraged.”

There are often kinks when a new system is implemented, but they are taking this into account. “Extensive testing is being done to prevent issues,” Daley asserts. Students can contact OReg by phone or email with difficulties or questions. As for prerequisite checking, students seeking permission to register in a course from an instructor should do this in advance of registering. “Students are still able to get permission from the instructor to register into courses they don’t satisfy prerequisites for. However, there should be a reason for the waiver. For instance, they are awaiting transfer credit. The permission will need to be entered before the student registers,” Daley says. The new changes will streamline the registration process for students, but it will appear the same online, just with the added features of prerequisite checking and Interac payment. If students would like to provide feedback on their registration experience and on future developments to the process, they can email Registration for the fall semester officially begins June 17, and students can check their date and time to register via their myUFV accounts.






How much of a difference can 1.89 degrees Fahrenheit make? It might not seem like a lot, but a slight warming of the ocean’s temperature is one of the factors resulting in millions of more jellyfish. The term “jellyfish invasion” was coined last spring, as Japan fishermen found their nets clogged with jellies rather than the expected fish crop. The particular species they were running into problems with—Nomura’s jellyfish—can grow up to eight feet across. Groups—or smacks—can number in the millions, wreaking havoc to fishermen, boats and nets, as well as to the fish themselves. When jellies are caught by the same nets intended for salmon, the fish end up crushed, stung and covered in jellyfish slime – ultimately killing the fish and rendering an entire catch worthless. Jellyfish are an ancient species; fossils place remarkably similar jellyfish in the oceans over 500 million years ago. If jellies have been a sea life staple for so long, what could be causing their population to explode in the last decade?

Image: Sabastian Anthony/flickr

Jellies are 96 per cent water, and one species troubling fishermen can grow eight feet wide. Researchers speculate that the jellyfish population boom is thanks in part to a slightly warmer ocean, but could also be a result of over-fishing. With less fish and sea turtles swimming around than, say, 40 years ago, smacks

of jellyfish can grow to unprecedented sizes. On the other hand, a study released by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences is quick to point out that researchers have only recently started

paying attention to jellyfish populations. It’s possible that this recent jellyfish invasion is part of a larger pattern – and that the current population of jellies is still within its normal range (albeit on the high end of normal). The

question, then, is whether jellyfish populations have increased for good, or whether we’re simply in a high-population period of a cycle. No matter what caused the increase, higher numbers of jellyfish are intimidating to say the least. A Google search quickly turns up photos depicting fishing nets and swimming holes clogged with giant jellies gathered into blooms of tentacles and squishy flesh. Jellyfish sting over 10,000 people each year, and roughly 40 people die from the stings of more poisonous species; this makes jellyfish three times more deadly than sharks. Some jellyfish even retain stinging abilities after death, meaning that a portion of jelly-related injuries each year stem from zombie jellyfish and disembodied tentacles. But somehow these frightening aspects melt away when jellies are safely encased in an aquarium. The Vancouver Aquarium currently has a jellyfish exhibit on display ranging from tiny moon jellies to the sunset hues of the Japanese sea nettles. The invertebrates are a weird combination of relaxed and purposeful; they don’t seem dangerous so much as brainlessly contented to follow the clockwise current in their tanks.

BC students gain a voice at national level JESS WIND


National recognition for UFV and a network of other student unions at his fingertips are just two of the things SUS president Shane Potter gained at the recent Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (CASA) conference in Ottawa. The conference brings together student unions from across the country to discuss student politics and lobby the federal government on student issues. SUS is currently an associate member of CASA; the cost of membership and value of being a part of the association has been a topic of debate during many budget and advocacy conversations over the last couple of years and will be reconsidered before their membership is due in April 2014. Potter and VP academic Kristianne Hendricks attended the conference in May and came home armed with new ideas and knowledge of how to run a better SUS. “We talked to 24 different student unions, which is amazing,” Potter said of the conference. “It’s great, just for the interaction and networking alone. It’s basically having the best and brightest all in one room, all sharing ideas. It really helped me as a president to just understand better the direction we need to go.” SUS has sent delegates to pre-

SUS president Shane Potter elected CASA board secretary

vious CASA conferences, but Potter felt as though the resources were not utilized to the best of their ability. “We really never had the same sort of presence. Kristianne and I wanted to really get involved,” Potter explained. “[CASA members] knew about our school but we never really took the chance to interact or use CASA as a networking opportunity.” Getting involved paid off, as Potter was elected to the CASA board of officers while at the conference. This is a first for UFV. After meeting and interacting with the student unions, he was nominated by another institution and elected shortly thereafter as the board secretary. He will be responsible for managing the administration and internal affairs of CASA. “This is actually the first time in my knowledge of SUS history,” Potter explained, “that we’ve had a CASA member on the board, let alone as a board officer. So it’s quite a privilege and an honour to actually have that spot. It shows the dedication and the commitment of our university.” Potter is the only student from BC on the board, though other schools in BC are members of CASA. “It’s a great opportunity for us to get our lobbying concerns, to get the BC concerns to a national level,” he said. One of his main concerns looks

Image: CASA

Potter is the first in SUS history to join the CASA board, and the only current BC representative. at the language surrounding funding from education to skills training and trades. “They have kind of replaced the word education with skills training. That’s always quite concerning for me personally,” he explained, worrying about the ramifications that will come for the arts. “If the government is going to spend money on education or if the government is going

to spend money on job training ... I’d like people to know where the money is going,” he said. “Is that a direction we want to go down?” Potter, who now has contact information for all of the schools he interacted with, is impressed with the amount of networking and resources gained through participating in the conference and from his new position with the board.

“The nice thing about having this sort of networking is that we can get the procedures. We can get the plans and we can see exactly the business model that other student associations are using. So instead of us taking the time and reinventing the wheel, we can take things that work from societies that are much older than us and improve, grow and get better.”




$160,000 worth of art donated to local Fraser Valley libraries GRIFFY VIGNERON THE CASCADE

It’s not often that libraries are gifted collections of paintings by internationally acclaimed artists. It’s especially uncommon when the collection is valued at roughly $160,000. “Libraries are typically not good places for great art to be displayed because of the vulnerability of the paintings,” says Irene Geng, the donor relations manager of the Fraser Valley Regional Library (FVRL). “Putting stuff in public places – you just never really know what’s going to happen to it,” But it was the wish of the late William Allister that his International Collection be displayed for the public, despite the risks. “It was so much more important for William Allister that the creative expression he enjoyed so much would be shared with people,” Geng explains. The donated International Col-

lection consists of 19 paintings. Allister’s finely placed brush strokes bring together the complex nature of world culture and spirituality. He initially approached FVRL about donating the collection over half a decade ago, but fell ill and passed away from cancer in 2008. It wasn’t until years later that the collection was once again brought to the attention of FVRL, this time by Mona Allister – the artist’s wife. “[Mona] was very, very conscientious about making sure that [FVRL] fulfilled his wishes for his art. That was incredibly important to her,” Geng emphasizes. Allister’s collection was at least partially inspired by books on world culture that FVRL had specially brought in at his request. He also drew from his experiences as a prisoner of war in Japan during World War II. While he initially harboured anger towards the Japanese due

to his poor treatment in Japan, he decided later in his life to overcome this. “He actually went back to the place where he had been held as a prisoner of war,” Geng says. “This visit was really a healing time for him, and as he spent some time thereafter he realized that forgiveness was something that he could work his way through. What he decided to do was to paint his way to peace.” His previous collection East Weds West emphasized the connections between eastern and western culture. In a similar way, Allister seems to have drawn from a multitude of cultures in his International Collection. The paintings have been specially preserved by the FVRL. The originals have been covered with protective covers, and prints have been made for reference by the prestigious Hemlock Printers. Mona Allister, familiar with her late husband’s standards, made sure the prints are authentic rep-

lications; she carefully went over every minute detail of the prints, from shading to colour vibrancy, to ensure accuracy. FVRL has put all the paintings on exhibition over the summer for visitors to enjoy it in its entirety. However, it’s unlikely the collection will be shown together in the future. “This exhibition at Ladner-Pioneer library is kind of a bonus and it’s something that I’m not sure will ever happen again. It’s quite an undertaking to pull together an exhibition, and it’s also harder on the paintings to move them around,” Geng explains. The whole collection will be on display in the Ladner-Pioneer library in Delta until Labour Day. Thereafter, the paintings will be spread out among FVRL’s 25 libraries for the public to enjoy wherever they go.

NEWS IN BRIEF Thousands take to streets in Turkey, clash with police ISTANBUL/ANKARA (Reuters) Tens of thousands of people took to the streets in Turkey’s four biggest cities on Sunday and clashed with riot police firing tear gas on the third day of the fiercest anti-government demonstrations in years. The unrest erupted on Friday when trees were torn down at a park in Istanbul’s main Taksim Square under government plans to redevelop the area, but widened into a broad show of defiance against the Islamist-rooted Justice and Development Party (AKP). Helicopters have fired tear gas canisters into residential neighbourhoods and police have used tear gas to try to smoke people out of buildings. Footage on YouTube showed one protester being hit by an armored police truck as it charged a barricade. –

Canada freezes trade with Iran over nuclear program OTTAWA (Reuters) – Canada will freeze all remaining trade with Iran to protest the Tehran’s nuclear ambitions and its human rights record, Foreign Minister John Baird said on Wednesday. Canada, which has had increasingly poor relations with Iran for more than a decade, had already imposed a series of trade sanctions. Baird said Canada was particularly concerned by the failure of the United Nations’ nuclear agency this month to persuade Iran to let it resume an investigation into suspected atomic bomb research. “The absence of progress ... leads Canada to ban effectively immediately all imports and exports from Iran,” Baird told reporters. Last September, Canada suspended diplomatic ties with Tehran, calling Iran the biggest threat to global security.

Google helped by Hollywood’s The Internship

Image: Irene Geng

William Allister passed away several years ago, and wished to see his art donated to FVRL. This month that wish was fulfilled.

LOS ANGELES/ SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) – When The Internship hits movie theaters on June 7, Google will be taking more than a little interest in how the film is received. The Internet giant was closely involved with the film, a $58 million Fox production which features two middle-aged men determined to get a job at Google. The film is a picture of a kind and gentle Google, various Google products get plugs in the film, and co-founder Sergey Brin gets a cameo role. The favourable PR comes at an opportune moment for Google, whose unofficial motto “Don’t Be Evil” has been criticized by privacy advocates and antitrust regulators. The U.S. Federal Trade Commission recently began exploring a new set of antitrust allegations against the company, sources told Reuters last week.




Even birds of prey need a helping hand

Rehabilitating owls, hawks and eagles at Delta’s OWL facility


From two half-lidded eyes, Sarah watches visitors come and go. In her perfect stillness, she fades unnoticed into the backdrop. Her silence is smothered in a room of bustling people. Across the hall, staff hurry a few orphans into the medical room. A few volunteers sit chatting, waiting for directions. Off to one side a white board displays a large list of current residents. Some residents are permanent, but many will recover. All of them are birds. It is when Sarah closes her eyes and snuggles into her feathers that her presence really becomes known. Sarah is a barn owl. Her feathers have an orange hue, and her big black eyes are circled by a rim of dark feathers. She is one of a few permanent residents of OWL, the orphaned wildlife rehabilitation society. Down a worn country road, OWL sits alongside the ocean on five acres of peaceful Delta countryside, just outside BC’s luscious rainforests. OWL’s mission is to take in injured and orphaned birds of prey, rehabilitate and release them. Over 400 birds typically go through the facility every year. In the medical room, head bird supervisor Rob Hope oversees the care of two new orphaned arrivals. A volunteer holds each of the orphans in turn, firmly but gently. Care is taken to make sure each bird’s head is covered, keeping them calm. The birds are weighed and checked for broken bones. Both orphans are baby barn owls. Their most likely fate being scooped up by coyotes, they have instead been rescued and brought to OWL. But orphans aren’t the only thing rescued by OWL. “We get everything from broken bones, to electrocutions, to head traumas, to poisoning. We pretty well get everything and anything you can think of, human-caused,” Hope explains. Outside behind the main office, high school volunteer Rachael Ransom is hand feeding Tyra, a merlin falcon. Because Tyra need-

ed a partial wing amputation, she can no longer fly and has become a permanent resident. While Tyra gorges herself, eyeing onlookers warily, Ransom explains the steps birds go through for rehabilitation. Depending on the injury, birds may start in intensive care. Their medical needs are looked after. Broken bones are pinned if need be. In severe cases, wings may be amputated. Once the birds are doing better, they can be kept in outdoor enclosures. When the birds have healed up, their flight and hunting abilities are tested to see if they will be okay to release again. “[Then] we wait for the bander to come in. Once he bands them, we drive them out. We bring them back to where we found them,” Ransom says. At all points, volunteers are careful not to get the birds too familiar with humans. They’re still wild animals. Because of that, most of OWL’s birds are usually off display. However, guests can have tours of the permanent birds, who are familiarized with humans. Colin Iverson also came to volunteer after the arts council he volunteered with closed down. He runs through a tour of the facility’s permanent birds, chatting about their personality quirks, explaining how many of them came to be at the facility. Since the permanent birds are more exposed to people, OWL often brings them on educational tours around the community. “I took him out yesterday to Port Moody there,” Iverson says fondly of James, one of the permanent birds. “He just sits there and falls asleep on your arm, [all] cuddled up.” In the coming future, OWL will have to move in order to facilitate the number of injured and orphaned birds that come in every year. The move is also greatly needed because the current facility is prone to flooding. They have lined up property that is already equipped with buildings and double the land. However, it will still take some time to carefully move all the birds that OWL so conscientiously looks after.

Image: Blake McGuire

The facility specializes in rehabilitating local birds of prey.

OWL sees over 400 birds come through the facility every year.

Image: Blake McGuire

Image: Blake McGuire

The birds’ injuries are typically caused by humans, including poisoning and broken bones.

Curtailed commentary on current conditions





Stewart Seymour



Amy Van Veen

The Costanza wallet has got to go

Medical world should embrace digital recordkeeping

Protests should be about more than just showing up

Helping friends move need not be a big deal

Canadian protests don’t really work. We have a number of growing social movements—March Against Monsanto, Defend Our Coast, Pride Parade, SlutWalk— aimed at bringing awareness to an important cause. These protests can have a powerful effect, both on those attending and on the public perception of an issue. When 500 or more people showed up to Abbotsford’s first Pride Parade, I was thrilled to see the support – it was a great first step towards the city feeling more accepting towards the LGBT community. The support was great at Abbotsford’s Monsanto protest earlier in the day as well. Passionate citizens with big signs had plenty to say about the dangers of genetically modified food. But like at most protests, not everyone could agree on what exactly should change. If protesters can’t agree on the way forward—if they don’t demand a tangible, concrete thing— then whether they’re raising awareness or not, the group is walking too slowly on an escalator going the other way. These protests are great, but there is a danger in giving each other high fives just for coming out. If we want to change the system, the policies and the negative directoon our world is headed, we need to do a much better job of agreeing on achievable goals and making them happen. Protests in Canada need to ensure those responsible actually listen.

In almost every sitcom, there comes a moment when a friend is moving and they need help. The other friends in the group whine and complain behind moving friend’s back about the hassle and the trouble that comes along with this apparently huge undertaking. But is it really something to gripe about? It would certainly become a problem if the moving friend in question never thanked, always expected a hand and moved once every two weeks. But what about a friend who is in a bind, can’t afford movers and really just needs an extra hand to put boxes in a car, take boxes out of a car and inevitably strategizing the difficult couchthrough-a-door scenario. It’s nice to know you can be there for a friend who would, without a doubt, return the favour when you had to wrap a queen size mattress around a tricky staircase. And with a thank you of pizza and beer enjoyed on a couch surrounded by boxes while enjoying a movie on a laptop, it begs the question – what are friends for if not to be there when they need you?

Ever watch that episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza’s overstuffed wallet explodes? I am sure every one of us at some point in our lives can relate to dealing with the same problem. I have recently been dealing with issues of a wallet that overflows with junk I don’t need. No matter what effort I make, I can’t seem to keep its contents to a minimum. My wallet manages to collect every piece of trash I will never use – receipts I can’t claim, Canadian Tire money, expired coupons, the Shoppers Optimum card, the list goes on. Recently, I dropped my wallet and everything spilled out like a knocked over recycle bin. So, to deal with the bulging wallet I got rid of it. In its place is a rubber band that binds all my contents together. I got the idea from a friend and I thought I’d give it a try. The verdict so far? Somehow, it works quite well. In a way, it forces you to keep things to a minimum. You only carry around with you what you really need. Most people can’t imagine living without a wallet, but it is an alternative to seriously consider.

A recent doctor’s office visit reminded me that one aspect of Canadian life lags behind in the digital age: medical records Sharing electronic medical records promises many benefits; patients could be diagnosed quicker and more easily. Next time I walk in, they wouldn’t have to ask me what drug allergies I have, because they’d already know. Voila, time already saved. That means more time to devote to the problem at hand or to other patients. Canada, with its infamously long wait times, could certainly benefit from that. A few saved minutes could even save lives in emergencies. Shared medical records would make it quicker for hospital staff to diagnose emergencies. This would be especially helpful for incoherent patients. It’s not always convenient to get to your own doctor or book an appointment in a timely fashion. This way, doctors at walk-in clinics would be able to see your medical history at the click of a button. This could allow them to make a quicker diagnoses, or possibly see a diagnoses they might have otherwise missed. Maybe you didn’t realize a past issue was related to a more recent one. Lucky for me, my doctor’s office recently made their records digital. But so far they’re one of only a few.

Image: photoscott/

I will not be a convict’s pen pal DESSA BAYROCK THE CASCADE

When I first heard about Canadian Inmates Connect, I thought it was lovely idea. It functions largely as a dating site for the incarcerated, putting them in touch with women who become pen pals, wives and soul mates. Sure, I thought. Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance at love? And through this site, managed by a volunteer civilian who believes firmly in both love and second chances, inmates are given that chance. It’s a wonderful sentiment. After all, who doesn’t have mistakes in their past that they’re trying to move beyond? Inmates just have— shall we say—larger mistakes than most. An inmate seems like an excellent candidate for a pen pal, so it was with an eager heart that I perused the listings on Canadian Inmates Connect. I knew exactly what would happen: one of the 250-word-long self-descriptions would stand out to me, and I would send off a letter to some bank robber, and we would be-

come fast friends. But before I even reached the descriptions, I started having serious doubts. Like most dating sites, Inmate Connections lists the bachelor’s name, age and location. Unlike other dating sites, it also lists the charges that put the bachelor in jail, as well as how long they’re expected to be there. One woman, who found her boyfriend through the site, says dating an inmate is a simple equation: with other men, you might not know what dirty or dangerous secrets they’re hiding behind a nice façade. If you enter a relationship with an inmate, however, you know exactly what you’re getting into. This seemed pretty logical, until I remembered that this means entering into a relationship with a convicted killer or drug dealer. Many of the inmates described themselves as changed men, but their thug poses said otherwise. Most murders are committed by someone the victim knows – so why would you willingly put yourself in a position where you

Image: Bob Jagendorf/flickr

Canadian Inmates Connect aims to bring together the incarcerated and folks on the outside. are on a first-name basis with a murderer? By the time I reached page three of inmate lonely hearts, I decided to leave the inmate pen pal-ing to

others. I absolutely believe that even convicts deserve compassion and friendship, and I’m sure that many of them are good people. But it’s impossible to tell who someone

is by reading words on a page, and I’m not willing to take the chance of picking a faker.





Sensational headlines bury unresolved complexities in pipeline review NICK UBELS THE CASCADE

“BC rejects pipeline over environmental concerns” “BC formally rejects proposed Northern Gateway pipeline” “BC officially opposes Enbridge Northern Gateway pipeline” Headlines like these were splashed across the top of high traffic posts from the likes of the CBC and CTV news websites within minutes of last Friday’s lauded announcement. The news that BC had registered its official opposition to the Enbridge Northern Gateway pipeline as currently proposed set off a flurry of celebratory social media posts and jubilant call-ins to CBC 1. It was as though someone sounded the death knell for the controversial pipeline planned to carry oil from Alberta’s oil sands directly to tankers waiting on the Pacific coast. Based on these headlines, and the bulk of the stories that followed, it would be easy to believe this potentially devastating ecological tinder box had been relegated to the realm of speculative fiction. Many people did and do. Although this is a positive step for those of us opposed to firing toxic sludge beneath our province’s beautiful landscape, it is by no means the end of the fight. But first, the positive: BC seems willing to stick to its five conditions for pipeline approval, having rejected the current pipeline based on insufficient attention to environmental concerns. This is a sign of good faith from the provincial government, that we can place at least some trust in their willingness to stick to their clearly-outlined principles, even if we personally find those principles to be lacking. Now for the bad. The bad has less to do with BC’s rejection in and of itself and more to do with a call to face the sober-

Image: Afterfate/flickr

The Enbridge Northern Gateway Pipeline: down but not out. ing reality that this announcement, sure to boost public opinion of the newly-elected Premier’s office, is not the complete victory we may be led to believe. It’s obvious from the reactions of those in favour of the pipeline (the federal government, Alberta, Enbridge itself) that the fight is far from over. While the provincial opposition for the pipeline could prove to be a PR stumbling block for the other parties involved, if they really want to push it through, there are many other options remaining.

1. A modified proposal from Enbridge The province was clear on the rationale behind its rejection, but what if Enbridge addresses their concerns in a matter they deem satisfactory? The pipeline party is back on. 2. A proposal from another pipeline company Kinder Morgan, Keystone XL and any number of other companies will be champing at the bit for further pipeline approval, along other varied routes. All it takes is a few signatures and the possibil-

ity of more oil coursing through the veins of this province is back on the table. 3. Federal government override While the pipeline project is currently under review by the National Energy Board, the federal government has the final say on any projects it deems in the national interest. Discord between the province and the federal government could ultimately stop such a sweeping move in its tracks, but it hardly rules out the possibility of federal approval. I hate to play the pessimist, but

in this case, it would be unwise to spend too long celebrating a decision that amounts to a minor victory in the long battle over the future of pipeline projects in BC. I can only hope that the reaction to this announcement will not slacken the vigilant efforts of British Colombians determined to protect the long-term interests of our beautiful province. It takes the CBC 32 paragraphs to temper their sensational headline to include this portion of BC’s statement on the pipeline: “the position adopted by BC on the Northern Gateway Pipeline project as currently proposed is not a rejection of heavy-oil projects,” which leaves open the option for approval of other massive oil pipelines, including the Kinder Morgan proposal. Thirty-two paragraphs is far too long to acknowledge the complicated nature of this announcement. Every study I’ve read about the way in which people absorb the news underlines, bolds, capslocks the fact you slowly lose your audience over the course of a news item. That means that most people get the breadth of their information by simply skimming headlines and pictures. BC rejects pipeline over environmental concerns? It’s a catchy, eyegrabbing headline, but one that is so misleading that much of the article is spent backpedalling earlier claims. Newsmakers have a responsibility to acknowledge the complexities of a story as early as possible. This could amount to something as simple as adding a modifying clause to the headline. Why not go with “BC opposes Northern Gateway pipeline proposal as presented?” Those two words would give any reader some inclination that the rejection is hardly as sweeping as it seems.

Letter to the editor

Re:“Apathy and upset - Poor campaign and poor participation hand Liberals victory” In her May 22 opinion piece, Katie Stobbart tries to convince her readers that the outcome of the recent provincial election was the result of a failure of the democratic system to accurately represent the views of the majority of British Columbians: “the Liberals are in power because of poor participation”. If only the other 48 per cent of voters had shown up on election day! Surely they all would have voted NDP, resulting in a landslide

“orange” victory! Really? Here’s a different perspective: Maybe most BC’ers don’t actually want more inefficient government programs. Ditto for higher taxes. Perhaps they believe that it wouldn’t be right to leave an even larger provincial debt for their children and grandchildren to pay off. Maybe that’s why they chose to reelect the Liberals, despite all their problems. Could it be that those hoping for an NDP win were in fact

in the minority, that the election outcome wasn’t simply a product of voter apathy, that people didn’t want what the NDP platform had to offer? Impossible! As for the woefully inaccurate opinion polls? I’m sure there is a myriad of theories and explanations for the complete failure of the polling firms to correctly predict the election result. Maybe response bias played a role? After all, people who work hard and who have chil-

dren whose future is important to them likely have less time to spend on the phone answering pollsters’ questions than others who may have more to gain and less to lose (in the short term) from additional social programs and “free” government handouts. Anyway, in the end it is the people who show up and fill out a ballot who decide who will lead our province. Certainly, uninterested and uninformed eligible voters abound.

Nevertheless, the election has been decided by those who did participate, and the clear message (by share of popular vote as well as number of seats won) is that the people of BC do not want NDP leadership. Don’t assume that your own position represents that of the majority. And don’t trust polls.

Inspired? Thoughtful? Confused? Upset? Tell us what you think.

Readers can submit one 400-word letter to the editor per issue. Email letters in .doc format to

~Jonathan Hall




Court case over Abbotsford harm reduction clinics a battle between provincial and municipal authority KATIE STOBBART THE CASCADE

Drug addiction is a harsh reality for many people, and it is a problem which is not hard to find in Abbotsford. It makes sense to provide a potentially life-saving service for drug-addicted citizens, one that ultimately lessens the load on our health care system to prevent disease and other health complications associated with the use of dirty needles. As of May 21, three drug users and the BC/Yukon Association of Drug War Survivors, represented by lawyer Scott Bernstein of the Pivot Legal Society, launched a law suit and human rights complaint against the City of Abbotsford. At the core of the suit is a city bylaw amended in 2005 to ban harm reduction services, including needle exchanges. Bernstein told The Vancouver Sun that life-saving health services should be accessible to everyone, including those who use illicit drugs. The city, after public consultation, is apparently in the process of amending the bylaw and creating policy that will balance the concerns of the community and the health authority. “I’ve said publicly all we have to do is reduce one case of AIDS and a couple cases of hepatitis C and this program pays for itself,” Mayor Bruce Banman told the CBC in January. “The health authority has the right to deliver service regard-

Addiction often triggers further health risks stemming from unsanitary conditions. less of the municipality’s position, which—more often than not—is informed by “not-in-my-backyard” (NIMBY) community opinion,” Bernstein wrote in response to the city’s deliberations. Services offered at needle exchanges also include brief intervention, nurse consultation, referral for injection drug users, basic health information, clean syringes

and condoms, immunization, and disposal of used syringes, as listed on the Fraser Health website. Health care is provincially regulated. To me, this means that it is not a city’s job to decide whether citizens have access to health services. It can certainly weigh in on where services might be offered and work in conjunction with the health authority to address the con-

Image: Fotography/flickr

cerns of the community regarding public safety. It might even be able to evaluate, under the advisement of health professionals, how basic or extensive the available services should be based on how many people in the community need to access them. But outlawing a service completely seems like a big step over the line. It makes me wonder where that

line is actually drawn. Can Abbotsford decide to amend whichever provincial policies and services it pleases based on public opinion? Can it say, “There shalt be no more clinics within the city limits,” or would it aim to have anyone using a needle exchange arrested for using drugs? If it is decided at a provincial level that needle exchanges are a service that needs to be accessible to all citizens via the health care system, is banning that service even enforceable? It seems to me that this is less a question of whether this service should be allowed and more an issue of Abbotsford needing to figure out what it is allowed to outlaw before it makes its bylaws. The plaintiffs probably have a sound basis for a suit, but I would first ask some serious questions of Fraser Health. If it is true that the health authority is within its rights to offer services with or without the city’s say-so (as Bernstein says) then I don’t understand why the bylaw is such a large obstacle. No, it shouldn’t be in place, but why was this a service-stopping obstacle for Fraser Health? It will be interesting to see how this case is resolved in the legal process to come, and how it may affect Abbotsford’s approach to creating policy around issues on which it disagrees with the higher powers that be.

Social media: abandon all hope, ye who log in here HAILEY ROLLHEISER CONTRIBUTOR

If you have fun with your friends but don’t upload a picture of it, did it really happen? These days, it seems like the answer is no. We are the first generation with the opportunity to document our lives on the internet. Yet too many people are documenting the wrong kinds of things that will come back to haunt them in later years. Parents and schools need to inform children that it is not okay to post material online with the delusion of privacy. There is no privacy; it is completely public and will remain that way forever. Forever, as in when you are no longer stripping and sweating because you popped a Molly. Social media itself is fairly new. Our rampant use of it is even newer. I’m predicting that in the future, there will be a whole new category of psychology and sociology revolving around social media. “Psychology of Social Media” is a class that I’d love to take. Scroll down the comments on any popular Instagram account and you will find dozens of extremely brutal comments. By the way, the fact that Instagram comes up underlined in red on Word just shows how new it really is. In the future, it may be added as an acceptable word – like Twitter, which is not underlined. This frightens me. People will write the most ruthless of comments on anything they see fit. People are taking out their insecurities in the form of bully-

ing people they don’t even know, behind a computer screen. Why would someone feel the need to bully someone about a comment online? I am disturbed by these highly unintelligent and belligerent comments. The rude comments on social media make it appear as though society is digressing. I say “as though” because I don’t have any empirical evidence. But in my opinion, society is digressing, and fast. I seriously lose faith in humanity every day. I can’t stand the cyber bullying, bashing and drug promotion that I often see. The answer is stricter moderation. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and their counterparts need to invest more in their moderators. Users that say even one negative comment towards another user should be deleted automatically. Users that post photos of illegal activity should be banned and referred to the police. I realize that this may sound like a censorship. You may have the right to free speech, but I don’t think that includes acting like a vulgar, uneducated, uncivilized barbarian online. My last pet peeve about social media is the way people portray themselves. I lead a fairly uneventful life according to my Facebook page. According to other peoples’ Facebook pages, they’re living large like rock stars. Some people create personas or alter egos for themselves. Things get confusing if I like the real-life version of a person but hate the online persona. The only thing to do is to simply

Image: Thompson Rivers

Sticter enforcement of content moderation is one solution. The other? Cut loose the tether. get off of social media. Disconnect from the websites that are causing you to re-evaluate your trust in humanity as a whole. There are plenty of much more productive hobbies. A life without social media would be quite different. Yet we

have lived without it. It’s the next generation who will not know what life was like without Facebook. It’s still possible to live without social media if you simply choose to delete your accounts. You risk not being as “connected with your

friends and family,” which is really just a euphemism for not being up with the daily gossip of some of your friends and family but mostly just various people you’ve never talked to since high school.




watching and

Sasquatching Sasquatch! Music Festival was founded in 2002. Eleven years later, it has grown into an international sensation, attracting bands and fans from all over the world. Over the course of four days, thousands of people flock between the five stages in a Washington amphitheater known as The Gorge. The gorgeous May weather and the stunning wilderness backdrop make this festival unique, and our five sunburned correspondents will be quick to tell you that Sasquatch! is a multitude of succesful elements. IMAGES BY: DESSA BAYROCK, JOE JOHNSON AND NICK UBELS

First you have to get there Tens of thousands of people descending on a single location for a marquee event entails a level of volume, confusion and error-ridden supply shortage only surpassed by natural disasters and foreign invasions. The solution for most music festivals, city-based editions like Seattle’s Bumbershoot or Austin’s South By South West excepted, is to draw this flock of unruly music fans as far away from civilization as possible in hopes that setting up some kind of rural commune will make it easier to prevent the madness from spilling over into the sleepy little town nearby. What this means for most festival-goers is a lengthy journey to reach the hallowed festival grounds somewhere in the middle of a forest or desert. To my amazement, the festival had attracted visitors from as far as Alberta, Ohio and Alaska, if the licence plates in the campground are to be trusted. For us, that meant an internet map estimated five-hour journey from Abbotsford to George, Washington. Our route ended up clocking in closer to eight hours after being detoured around a downed bridge on the I-5 and winding mountain passes through postcard worthy towns like the kitschy Bavarian vacation town Levensworth or the old gold mining haven aptly-named Gold Bar, which features “Prospector’s Plus,” an old-timey storefront that can presumably supply all your pick axe and gold pan needs. “I’mma gonna be rich!” my co-pilot proclaimed, suddenly donning a hat with the brim flipped up and carefully-waxing a nascent moustache. Long journeys undertaken at 6 a.m. ebb and flow through different periods of excited conversation, intent air guitar mastery, and silent exhaustion. Having commandeered two vehicles for our trip, and having abandoned our cell phones at the promise of gougingly-high roaming charges, we predictably lost track of each other’s vehicles a few hours in. Arriving at the same time was of the utmost importance in order to obtain adjacent campsites. Thankfully, we were reunited by the undeniable pull of Alps chocolate and other candied treats.

Nick Ubels

No brand names, no pants There is a phrase that describes summer music festival fashion, and it is anything goes. The weekend flew by in a blur of animal costumes, the occasional tribal headdress, sunglasses printed with the American flag, shorts that could not possibly be any shorter, leggings screen-printed with colourful depictions of far-off galaxies, fedoras, feathers, spikes, capes, gladiator sandals and spray-painted neon clothing. It dawned on me that, if anything, the people getting judged for their clothing choices were the ones still sporting clothing emblazoned with popular brand names of the real world. I can’t recall seeing a single Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch logo the entire weekend. I realized too late that the festival functioned as a sort of fashion get-out-of-jail-free card. I should have brought my cherished and butt-ugly trucker hat, I thought to myself. I should have brought all of my Halloween costumes. I should have brought face paint and purchased a onesie well in advance. It was comforting and inspiring to realize that no matter what, these nameless crowds of strangers were not judging me by the clothes I wore, most likely because the guy in front of me in line was dressed like a robot.

Favourite sets: Vampire Weekend, Capital Cities, The Lumineers New favourites: Chvrches, Sean Nelson, Grimes

Dessa bayrock

One with the crowd A crowd can either be a festivals’ greatest strength or greatest weakness. Since festival-goers attend the Sasquatch! Music Festival because they want to see different acts throughout the weekend, each concert has a unique atmosphere to it, and that largely depends on whether the fans are receptive or indifferent. No act is guaranteed an enthusiastic audience like they would at one of their regular gigs. Artists who have early afternoon set times have the most hurdles to jump. Not only are the crowds likely to be unfamiliar with their material, but they are often exhausted, hungover or still recovering from the previous nights’ headliners. However, Sasquatch! is fortunate to be located in the Pacific Northwest, with the majority of fans coming from Washington, Oregon and British Columbia, a region known for its mild-mannered inhabitantas. Save for a few pushy and insufferable festival-goers, the crowd was surprisingly well-mannered and very focused on the music itself, which is something the artists really seemed to feed off of. A number of artists even decided to pull out their own favourite covers to engage new listeners. Whether it was their overwhelming reaction to Nick Offerman’s rendition of the Parks and Recreation sing-along “5000 Candles in the Wind,” the Oompa Loompa-style dance that broke out during Elvis Costello’s stellar set, or patiently waiting almost two hours for Tame Impala to clear up issues at customs, the friendly crowds helped create an atmosphere that largely de-emphasized the corporate elements and business-driven side of the festival. Favourite sets: Divine Fits, Elvis Costello and the Imposters, Preservation Jazz Hall Band, Vampire Weekend New favourites: Chvrches, Deep Sea Diver, DIIV

tim Ubels




NEW LIVE IMPRESSIONS From two distinct bands at this year’s Sasquatch!, and after 48 hours of live music, I’m left with opposing impressions. The Arctic Monkeys are a band that I’ve always liked from a distance, but I’ve never really informed myself of their background or musical history. The Postal Service, on the other hand, have been one of three bands that I still attribute to being a catalyst for sending me down a path of musical exploration – now 10 years after their only album release. Midway through the festival The Arctic Monkeys took the main stage. Deciding to go see them since I had liked a couple of their songs, there was something immediately different. Aside from the 1950s slicked hair, which the lead singer had a comb in pocket to keep in place, their sound was so much deeper. There was warmth to it and they just rocked harder. As their set continued, my perception of them had changed; they are a band to see live. The Postal Service, who closed out the festival and are back together for an extended world tour, left me a little less enthusiastic. While they did have Jenny Lewis with them, a great fibre optic lightshow, and just the fact that I was seeing The Postal Service, it was a weak performance. The biggest letdown was that, while so many other bands killed it at the festival, Ben Gibbard’s voice was below the standard set by the band’s album. But there were also the actual instruments—the Postal Service album that I was familiar with was easy and light—but when performed there was a much greater rock infusion. Finally, there were also some new tracks on the re-issued anniversary album that didn’t match up to expectation. Top that off with a performance that felt more like a day on the job than a performance at a major music festival as part of a reunion, it was ultimately a slight comedown. The interesting juxtaposition of these two bands that I’m now left with is something that I would not have considered before the festival. But after seeing them live I have one band that I’m excited to see again and another that I no longer have interest in. Favourite sets: The XX, Mumford & Sons, The Lumineers, Vampire Weekend, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, DIIV, Sigur Ros, Chvrches New favourites: Built To Spill, Tig Notaro, Sean Nelson, Dirty Projectors, Preservation Hall Jazz Band

Joe johnson

OF SEEING AND CELLPHONES From the opening highfives to the last day in the rain, Sasquatch! was a place of strong visual impressions. Lightshows excited and clobbered the senses at Vampire Weekend and Grimes, the end of month full moon lit the nightly trek back to camp and panoramic nature backset the main stage by day, surrounded by “I Will Wait”-ing dramatically illuminated ocean of Mumford and Sons fans by night. All of these were linked by an internet discourse anomaly. It was the lack of social media mirrors returned by search, having returned home a half day early and curious to check out what was missed, that meant most of Disclosure’s set (and a lot more) was lost to time and memory, but also set apart Sasquatch! as special. In every crowd, the lack of phones was surprising (and welcome). The festival’s four days were mostly free of the imperfect recollection of held up screens, instead full of music overheard (unwilled at 5 a.m., merging and passing through following shows throughout the day) and experienced in the present tense in the middle of dancing, sunburning ultraviolet and intermittently cooled packed evening shows. The motion of Sasquatch! is something subjective and better left behind, renewed in following years rather than through the poor quality and unvaried repetition of recorded video. Favourite sets: Vampire Weekend, Divine Fits, Grimes, Chvrches New favourites: Deep Sea Diver, Cody Chesnutt

michael scoular

On the road again Our return drive was perhaps more fraught. The first wave of us decided to return on Monday night thanks to work demands. Taking a break halfway through our journey, we stopped at a rest stop when something caught my attention on one of the maps. Contrary to our mapped route, it seemed as though a right turn onto State Route 9 would take us directly to the Sumas border, shaving off a little distance and potentially avoiding the Memorial Day traffic of the I-5. Little did we know that the road we chose was an unlit, serpentine route weaving in and out of nameless farm land. I have no doubt that every one of our inner monologues read like a horror movie script as we rounded a corner at about 11:30 p.m. to find a middle-aged woman standing on the side of the road, staring intently into the darkness. After much fear, trepidation, and some of the tightest corners I’ve ever encountered on a supposed highway, we made it back across, thankful to have emerged from the interminable darkness of the number nine with our souls intact. Favourite sets: Divine Fits, Vampire Weekend, Japandroids New favourites: DIIV, Chvrches, Deep Sea Diver

Nick Ubels





All of the sexy things




2. Doing these exercises strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle, believed to strengthen orgasm and reduce urinary incontinence. (5 letters) 3. Michael Douglas caused some controversy by appearing to suggest that he developed throat cancer by performing this act. (11 letters) 5. This popular sexual position brings colonial times to mind. (10 letters) 7. Bill Gates recently announced a reward of $100,000 to the person who can create a revolutionary new version of this product. (6 letters) 9. Jonah Falcon has the world’s largest penis, measuring just over this many inches when erect. (8 letters) 10. This type of chimp is known to engage in face-to-face and oral sex. They also have communal sex to decrease tension. (6 letters)



4 5 6 7


Answer Key Across



1. This bulbous structure of both male and female genitals is highly sensitive. It’s commonly called “the head.” (5 letters) 2. This ancient text is both a sex manual (describing over 60 types of sexual acts) and a guide to healthy living. (4, 5 letters) 3. This women’s magazine offers sex tips and tricks every month, some more believable than others. (5 letters) 4. Rule 34 of the internet states that if it exists, there is _____ of it. (4 letters) 6. Is this a hockey team or a slang term for performing a certain act during a certain time of the month? (3, 5 letters) 8. This water creature is known to have sex for fun. (7 letters)





The Weekly Horoscope Star Signs from General Kang Rou Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18

Gemini: May 21 - June 21

Libra: Sept 23 - Oct 22

You will forget to use sunscreen, and the resulting sunburn will cause your skin to peel in the shape of Australia. This is an omen that you will be bitten by a platypus.

If given a choice between a pint and a pitcher, choose the pitcher. They will both be cheap and cold, but the pint has a spider in it.

Fold this newspaper up and put it in your backpack. Later you will use it to start a fire by the lake and roast marshmallows, because The Cascade has many uses and you are only burning the dreams of journalists.

Pisces: Feb 19 - March 20

Cancer: June 22 - July 22

Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21

You will wake up with a tattoo. You don’t know where it came from, but don’t tell your mother.

Write a letter to your old pen pal. The purchase of this single stamp will keep Canada Post from declaring bankruptcy early next year, allowing you to order that totally cute sweater from

You will meet a tall, dark stranger, and he will make you a latte. Invite him to be in your band, and in three years you will find yourself at Sundance Film Festival. If you wish to avoid hipsterdom, give up coffee now.

Aries: March 21 - April 19

Leo: July 23 - Aug 22

Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21

If you wake up at 3 a.m. and feel like going for a walk, don’t. It’s fucking cold outside. And there are spiders.

Clean your room! It’s been ages since last semester ended and there is no valid excuse you can offer to defend the existence of Mount Laundry and the Chasm of Unopened Textbooks.

Taurus: April 20 - May 20

Virgo: Aug 23 - Sept 22

Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19

A cat will follow you home. Name it Dyllan, and it will become your spirit animal. Name it Derek, and it will become your worst enemy. The choice is yours.

Give into your urge to blast Fred Penner and sing along at full volume with your windows down. Your true love will pull up in a car beside you, your eyes will meet and there will be a baby beluga in your future.

You should probably clean your microwave. When was the last time anyone cleaned the microwave? Isn’t that super gross? Alternatively: buy a new microwave.

You will drop your phone in a large body of water. Relax! If you can retrieve it, it will still work. As a paperweight.

Spend all your days on Facebook and Twitter? Want to get paid for it? The Cascade is hiring for the position of Online Editor. The successful candidate will be responsible for The Cascade’s website and social media, and is also required to write one article an issue. Experience with Wordpress is a plus, but not necessary. Send a resume, cover letter and any questions to Michael@ufvcascade.a



Cascade Arcade (rookie edition)

Book Reviews

Super Mario RPG:

Herman Koch – The Dinner DESSA BAYROCK


This novel has been on bestseller lists for weeks now, and while I think I enjoyed it, I’m not sure it really deserves to be on the list of top picks. The book is set in Amsterdam and was originally written in Dutch. It has the feel of a translated work – something in the pacing and dialogue is just different enough to feel odd and new. This change in structure is refreshing, but also alien; a North American reader is bound to feel a little offbalance. The action takes place over the course of a single dinner shared by two brothers and their wives. The protagonist is the less-popular brother, an ex-professor with an anger problem – understandable, inexplicable and intriguing. He is set in stark contrast to his sibling, a popular politician gunning for a top office, the charismatic brother who easily scores them the best table at the restaurant. The obvious tension between popular brother and unpopular brother is clear from the beginning, but it quickly becomes clear that there is some other conflict

in play; the two couples have met to discuss something ominous regarding their sons, and the reader is completely in the dark as to what it could be for the better part of the novel. This was the element of the book that drew me in. I read the first chapter of the novel as a free sample online, and this hidden tension compelled me to find a copy of the book to learn the rest of the story. I found, unfortunately, that the grand reveal was disappointing.

It’s not that it was lacklustre or anti-climactic, but rather that it completely alienated me from the protagonist. The decision they finally came to was not one that I agreed with, and I recoiled from the family entirely. I spent the majority of the novel feeling a kinship with the protagonist, but the weird and stunningly surprising end of the novel cut those ties like a knife through butter. I felt betrayed and a little lost. I no longer liked the family I had spent the entire novel rooting for. I guess this was probably the point of the novel – to show how monsters exist within ordinary people that you might like or know, and the protagonist is not necessarily the good guy. While I can appreciate this goal, I just felt tricked – I signed up for a novel with family tension, and was delivered something bordering on a true-crime novel. In the end, the novel was a weird blend of subtle family tension and elements that requires a reader with a grim fascination of violence. To me, the target audience for those two genres seem mutually exclusive – but judging by the best-seller status of the novel, I guess they aren’t.

Haute Stuff

A battle with nail polish DESSA BAYROCK

The cascade

It starts when I see someone wearing robin’s egg blue nail polish on the street. “That’s a cute colour,” I say to the friend I am with. He makes an indeterminate noise. He is a man. He doesn’t care. A few days later I am with the same friend in a drugstore, trying to decide between two extremely similar nail polish colours. “What do you think?” I ask, holding them next to each other. “Mmmmm,” he replies. “This one’s kind of turquoise, but this one’s a little pastel-y.” “Mmmmm.” I pick the one with turquoise undertones. I pay $10 plus tax and leave the store clutching a tiny bottle of over-priced paint. For a brief second I have a moment of doubt, but I shake it loose. It’s true that I’m a tomboy, and I have painted my nails exactly once in living memory, but for some reason this colour has planted itself in my brain like a seed and I am determined to let it grow. It’s when I get home 20 minutes later that the disaster begins. “I paid $10 for this nail paint!” I howl. “Why is it so damn insubstantial??” I am painstakingly applying the first coat to my left hand, and it is completely transparent. Instead of a cute and solid blue on my fingertips, I look like I’ve been sitting in a snowstorm and my extremities are beginning to lose circulation. It is a vague tinge of a colour. I am understandably disappointed, but also determined. This is part of the journey to becoming a woman, I tell myself. Learning to apply more than one coat of nail polish. I apply. I wait. It dries. I apply again. This is my Everest, I tell my-


Image: Cle0patra / Flickr

self. This is my great challenge, and I will rise to it, and I will be a hero. I don’t wait long enough, and the second coat messes up the first. I grit my teeth and daintily apply a third. The result is perfect, lustrous and smooth. I am a genius. I am a hero. I am victorious. I am feeling both cute and feminine, and it’s a pretty heady feeling. My ego is the size of Pluto until I realize I still have another five fingers to do – and I’ll be painting them with my non-dominant hand. How hard can it be? I ask myself, over-confident and relaxed. Nail apocalypse results as I learn just how non-dextrous my left hand truly is. First of all, the nail polish on my left fingers is not quite dry, so I put a gouge in my thumb coat before I realize what’s going on. Cursing to myself, I fix it. It does not remain fixed. I ignore it. It somehow attracts fibres from godknows-where and takes on a furry appearance. I continue to curse, which doesn’t help the situation. By the time I finish my right hand half and fix the damage to

my left an hour later, my ego has shrunk to a pinprick. My left hand is still smooth and passably perfect. The right is bumpy, rough and crudely painted. In desperation, I hold my imperfect right hand and the stupid, overpriced bottle out to my male friend. The terror in his eyes is outweighed by the pity, and he gently takes both and gives it his best shot. It doesn’t help. I pretend it does for both our sakes. I have devoted close to three hours of my time to this damn nail polish and I am ready to smash the robin’s egg paint bottle right in its stupid robin’s egg face. It is destroying me, but I am determined to have the last laugh. My nails will be perfect! My nails will be cute! I will be feminine, and I will strike jealousy into the hearts of other females! Before I go to bed, I completely remove the polish from my right hand and I give it one last go. I am patient, but I am mostly exhausted. And at one in the morning, I reach an uneasy peace with two coats of left-handed painting. It lasts exactly three days before I get sick of the colour.

The Legend of the Seven Stars

AMY VAN VEEN THE CASCADE “How about Super Mario RPG? It’s the first 3D Mario game,” my friend asks after an attempt at Starfox that made me want to kill my too-annoying team. “What’s RPG?” I timidly ask. “Role-playing game.” Time to learn a story and kick some ass, plumber-style. “What’s that? A clown?” I ask my friend as a novelty flying ship goes fluttering by. “A flying clown car,” my friend says knowingly. “A flying clown head car blimp,” I correct as if I know things. Let’s do this, Mario. Let’s save Peach – or Toadstool, my friend corrects me. I guess I don’t really know things. I run into a guard and suddenly we’re standing on a carpet. “Is this a face-off?!” I ask, excitedly. “It’s turn-based RPG,” my friend answers. “You take turns attacking one another.” Right. This seems incredibly strange. Not to mention the fact that instead of going straight or left or right, I have to now move in diagonals along these floors that seem to be floating in outer space. As I type this, the guard is raring to go. Okay, Terrapin, you unarmed guard you, let’s face this thing off. My name is MOFO for a reason. (Instead of typing in my own name, I thought I’d try to be original. It’s not like any gamer has ever done this before.) With that, I’m in the castle – Toadstool is hanging from a rope, Bowser is on a chandelier, and I eagerly punch in the air, ready to face him on top of what must be incredibly strong lighting fixtures. You’d think as the owner of this castle, Bowser would want to take more care of his décor. No wonder he’s the bad guy. Bowser: “Mario! Prepare yourself for the great beyond!” It’s interesting that the Super Mario characters seem to believe in an afterlife. I wonder if they ever get caught up in existential discussions while sitting in thrones or running over lava on wooden bridges – a combination that seems perilous at best. Good thing Toadstool is here to help me, though. Otherwise I would really be SOL. It seems as though I did not have a childhood because this

is way too enjoyable. How did I miss out on this stuff when it was a more socially appropriate age? From the chipper music to the puntastic dialogue to the fact that I, Mario, get to explain everything through charades and interpretative dance – I feel like a part of me missed out on the joy of youth. I guess I’ll have to make up for it now – even if the pacing is a little slow and the whole 3D format doesn’t have the novelty it had when it was originally released. There are quite a few friendly characters in this game. And by characters, I mean freaks. There’s a frog that’s not a frog and seems to be named after a Marshmallow. There are dozens of weirdos living in Mushroom Kingdom, including a kid who is clearly tripping on acid and running around in squares – not circles, squares. There’s a crocodile wearing a top hat running around stealing heirloom coins and a bunch of different monsters who enjoy the Muhammad Ali dance before attacking. Oh, and of course, there’s Toadstool’s bedroom – I mean, how could I not take a look? Her bed is peculiarly placed in the middle of the room and was more akin to a trampoline than a comfortable bed. I mean I get that she’s a princess, but I don’t get why princesses can’t push their beds against the wall and have more room to practise hanging from chandeliers or escaping rope knots for when they will inevitably be captured. Something has changed in me from Legend of Zelda to Super Mario RPG. I actually enjoyed a bit of the exploring with Mario. As Link I felt like at any moment I would have to whip out my sword and fight for my life, but as a plumber I can inconspicuously climb castle stairs, visit a princess’s bedroom, go through houses, jump on people sleeping and essentially just run around – or saunter when not pressing “Y.” A giant springboard lands in front of me, which apparently means my level was over. “We’ll make a gamer out of you yet,” my friend proudly remarks. I shrug it off, unsure of her confidence in me, especially since I seem to have trouble moving from one suspended block to another.




Film Reviews

Fast & Furious 6



Little could anyone have believed that a movie about Vin Diesel and Paul Walker street racing would spawn into the multi-film enterprise it is today. Starting back in 2001, the series has delved into illegal street racing, drug smuggling, bank robbery and even death. But never has the series dealt with a corrupted member. Such is the essential premise of Fast & Furious 6.

While the other films have, for the most part, run on their own with only brief references to prior instalments, Furious 6 lives in the past. While there is a new criminal, Owen Shaw (Luke Evans), on the streets assembling horrible and nasty things, it is the search for the once thought dead Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) that is the main goal for our heroes. The history of the series really comes to the forefront and it is a welcome change in pacing. While Furious 6 is still an action blockbuster, it is interesting

to see the “family” come together and bond in a single goal – not one of money but of finding that which was once lost. After having pulled off some amazing action sequences in the last film, director Justin Lin really steps it up a notch. Lin and the stunt crews bring a lot of intense car chases and stunt sequences to the film. Flipping cars into the air with a modified cage vehicle provides an impressive start with some great camera work and a commitment to using real cars and

stunt drivers. The one thing that can be always commended about the series is its bonds to realism (aside from those silly tunnel sequences in Fast & Furious). With most films nowadays opting for CGI work on complicated set pieces, this film series tries everything it can to stay grounded in reality. The coordination and use of actual cars and stunt drivers solidifies the experience and adds a flair that CGI could never bring. The unfortunate progression in action films is that things that were once part of the series can sometimes become quite boring. At one moment in the film, there is a street race with great camera work and some impressive driving. But after having seen a bank vault pulled around through the streets of Rio by two Dodge Chargers, races really don’t raise the intensity anymore. This issue was possibly foreseen because in the third act, the intensity goes through the roof. Having a tank barreling down highways in Spain was quite something to watch but it was a bit much to take in as the sequence grew in absurdity. Along with a final action scene on an airport runway which seemed to be the length of Spain itself, the film really messes itself up and breaks logistical rules. With some bizarre plot twists and betrayals, Furious 6

almost loses its direction with such a rushed ending. Conveniences pop up rapidly and losses occur that are just plain strange. This plotting might have been a sign of why Lin is stepping down from the series. Lin has improved with experience by directing the last four films in the series. After starting out with the forgettable Tokyo Drift, he brought back the original cast in Fast & Furious and really brought his A-game for the entertaining and lucid Fast Five. But by making what is recognized as the best film in the series, Lin really put himself on the ropes with having to top his previous best. Lin doesn’t drop the intensity, and loses his creative approach as a result. At one moment when Diesel and Rodriguez are having a personal conversation about their old love life, Lin resorts to Michael Bay camera spins, intensifying scenes without purpose. Lin shows the wear and tear the series has had on him but doesn’t go without a fight. While it doesn’t beat Fast Five, Fast & Furious 6 reaches as far as it can in terms of action and production. It is a shame to see Lin leave after having brought the series back up, but in terms of exits, he can be proud of what he did for both the series and the stunt industry.



There’s a tendency in criticism to elevate slight works by comparing them to their better peers. Mud opens with two invitations: into the dictations of too-familiar coming-of-age and through a lens of classic storytelling. But simply because a work begs to be spoken along with fondly recalled examples does not mean there’s anything to be gained from listing a supposed link. Mud’s opening courts Twain with its two boys (Tye Sheridan and Jacob Lofland) setting out surreptitiously out to open water, and depicts a familiar scene of silent, at odds marriage, but before long it becomes clear Mud is too humourless to be taken as parody, but far too juvenile to be taken seriously. Its unimaginative derivations and subject matter suggest a Serious Movie, yet the crutch of kid sympathy is most of what the film stands on. Director Jeff Nichols’ midwestern and southern United States settings continue, but here are barely set through lazy shorthand before coming apart at the seams. Ideas aside, there’s enough to find lacking alone in the way realism and allusions to other fictional works unsuccessfully come together. Avoiding dramatic timing but still bestowing Matthew McConaughy with the callsign/nickname/folk myth beginning of the title, Mud is a man hiding out

with a past discovered by two “innocent” young boys who come to be led astray or opened up to the real world, depending on your acceptance of the claimed truisms found in the movie’s main character. In either case, Nichols’ tired by full conceit loses any interest from the start through establishing that these are child actors acting fully for the camera, unhelped by the movie’s slack pace. Weak comedy alternates with weak pathos, patches of attempted lyricisim fall in between modern realism, none of it any more than skin deep. At over two hours, Mud, like his forgivably flawed debut Shotgun Stories, dwells on unnecessary dialogue that reaches for sleepy real-

ism, hampered further by how petty the ideas of judgment and how television overdone its crime and relationship status stories come to resemble. The reason this is a disappointment, one impossible to tell from Mud alone, is Jeff Nichols made an excellent movie two years ago called Take Shelter, a reworking and evocation of mental illness less crushing but arguably better than the similarly themed Melancholia. Its narrative workings both relied upon and provided an extended representation of empathy, in a way that didn’t call for emotion the way any climaxing drama tends to do, instead providing a detailed portrayal of a point of

view, one also attuned to financial and familial realities without becoming an Issue Picture. This use of genre is the precedent Mud comes after, and it is baffling to see something so simplistic in thought and ungainly in form result. Next to the cursing for fun, hormone comparing boys, McConaughy is the weapon-carrying, advice-dispensing, sunburnt and sweaty model they look up to. Applied accent and natural mannerisms strain for credibility, but this is far inferior to McConaughy’s work with Richard Linklater in Bernie and Steven Soderbergh in Magic Mike, two directors who consistently create exceptional performances with their casts in

a way Nichols seems unable to do in a major way outside of his regular collaboration with Michael Shannon. With the patience and tension of Take Shelter thrown out for cutting and framing that suggests anonymity, Mud never sets a tone that considers its characters as anything more than pre-determined players. What makes Mud appalling is its thesis, and Mud is schematic and baldly argumentative enough to use the term. The old guard speaks of how “men need to take advantage where we can” and retaliates with the admonition to “respect a man’s livelihood and property” and there’s some tension between a power imbalanced husband and wife, rebellious son and father, but Nichols resolves it all by affirming core family values and the comfort of happy endings (but so hard earned!). It’s the kind of simplistic but loudly spoken worldview expected from an offering from a hopefully-never-heard-from-again Sundance entry, not a film from a thought-talented director getting a relatively wide release. There isn’t contradiction here – points are underlined and scored to a country conventional soundtrack, and if anyone has seen a dated but still more alive precedent like Stand By Me or Shane, there’s nothing to be surprised by in Mud’s details, save that the person behind Take Shelter could make something so ill-considered and reducible.




Another way of seeing doilies

The Reach gallery displays Observation of Wonder cyanotypes GRIFFY VIGNERON

the deep-blue hues of cyanotype

You don’t have to go far for a unique experience and a chance to see things in a different light. With a variety of displays, a local Abbotsford art gallery is attempting to redefine how we see the world around us. “I think galleries and museums are playing with ... this [other] way of seeing and playing with our ideas of knowledge and knowing vis-à-vis the visual image. I think that’s part of our mandate,” Scott Marsden, curator of The Reach gallery, said. Established in 2008, The Reach has steadily been coming into prominence. Though small, the gallery is a class A facility. Under a ceiling 30 feet high, the 13-foot walls of the gallery’s great hall showcase both internationally acclaimed artists and regional talent. In an effort to establish reputation and give viewers something new, Marsden does his best to make sure the exhibitions he curates will not be shown in any other gallery in BC. On top of that, he seeks exhibits that will stand out. “I’m looking for unique art practice, [a] unique way of doing things,” Marsden explained. On the walls of the great hall,

walls. Each print is classified under a scientific taxonomic grouping. This unusual exhibit is Observation of Wonder, put together by the regional artist Brenna Maag. Cyanotype prints were one of the first photographic methods of making copies of something. In 1843, the botanist Anna Atkins created the first photographic book. It contained 400 cyanotype prints of British algae specimens. At first glance, one might easily mistake the cyanotypes in Observation of Wonder for scientific specimens, much like Atkins’ initial prints. This is intentional, yet the specimens on display are not organisms at all – the specimens are doilies. While doilies might not be considered that useful, Maag was inspired by the detail and creativity that had gone into making them. “I really love science and art together, I think ... they’re similar in many ways, and then very different in others,” Maag described. The exhibit ties together science and art in an unusual fashion. In an effort to acknowledge the creative efforts of anonymous women doily-makers, Maag ties in this women’s domestic work with the scientific world. It’s a perspective

THE CASCADE prints stand out against the white

we rarely connect to. While her cyanotypes emphasize the detail of the doilies, Maag’s dome-like “observatory,” also on display, emphasizes the overwhelming creative essence of doilies as a collective. The space connects a mathematical dome with doilies by plastering them all over the interior. The effect is breathtaking – the designs reminiscent of exotic embroidery. “I was really hoping that people would get the connection to the natural world and be reminded about paying attention, slowing down and being present in nature,” Maag said. “It’s a huge lofty goal, but we just live in such a hectic world that I think we really miss so much of the detail ... There’s so much beauty.” Maag’s Observation of Wonder exhibit pushes us to think differently – to see similarities where we otherwise might not. The other exhibits Marsden has put on include A Way of Seeing by Alfried Siemens, and How I Became a Ramblin’ Man by Rodney Graham. Each exhibit aims to throw something new or unexpected at the audience.

604-858-8123 Hours: Monday to Saturday, 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Prices: $7-12 including tax, depending on drink and sides



Discussions Below the Belt

PMS is that bitchy friend you put up with

sit on piles of rags or the not-soPMS SURVIVOR long-ago past when jumbo pads were attached to belts in a jockPeriods. strap-like fashion. But that doesn’t They’re a bummer. No one mean leaks don’t happen. They can deny that. Sure, we’ve taken do. Whether it’s because the flow great strides in our attitudes to- was a little heavy or the product ward feminism and the flow of wasn’t placed quite right, spotting our monthly river is a symbol of can happen anytime, anywhere the greatness of womankind. But and ruin every pair of panties in really, no one likes them. Guys your drawer. don’t like it when we talk about Also—it needs to be clarified it. Girls don’t like it when we have for the gents in our lives—that to go through it. And any woman the short period of time where who tells you differently is prob- these ladycare products need to ably in that blissful fortnight after be used is hardly the worst part the bleeding has stopped and be- of the cycle. (Except for when the fore the premenstrual syndrome two overlap and pills, hot water (PMS) begins. bottles, cozy blankets and the fetal I have never known any wom- position are the only things to alan to watch a tampon commercial leviate the radiating pain.) full of twirling ladies on the beach PMS, folks. Breast tenderness in light-coloured dresses and (which is the nice way of saythink, Yes. That is what my period is ing every bra in the world is like. What an honest portrayal. out to murder your poor girls), First of all, what kind of a girl breakouts (giant zits that pop up goes to the beach when she’s around your face and remind you bloated, bleeding and has a de- of awkward adolescence filled crease in self-esteem? If you go with acne and inconsistent perito the beach, your friends will ods), bloating (where you basitry to bully you into swimming. cally go up a pant size and require This is hardly a recipe for a good the Vancouver-approved yoga time. Even if you do use tampons, daywear) and cravings (give me there’s always the fear of a string all the chocolate, salty chips and sticking out of your suit or some soft pretzels you have) are just a extra spotting making you a target few of the delightful symptoms of for sharks. PMS that pop up every month. Also, a light-coloured dress? On top of that, every day there Are you kidding? Dark bottoms seems to be a new health article are the key to tampon time. Sure, going around trying to debunk feminine hygiene products have myths or offer five easy steps to come leaps and bounds from the making your period easier. Stress biblical times when women had to and shame get piled up as women

start to think maybe their Aunt Flo isn’t normal. Is it bad that I have to spoon a hot water bottle while simultaneously popping Advil and peanut M&Ms? Is it unusual for me to require only the superheavy tampons because my floodgates are akin to the Hoover Dam? Does it mean I have cancer if ovarian cysts cause me to blackout in blinding pain while standing in line at Costco? Well, the last one should probably be consulted by a doctor, but the rest are fairly normal symptoms – or, rather, as normal as periods can be in that way that no period is normal. But the dialogue needs to be open so women can find understanding with each other to better understand what could be a risk and what’s yet another thing to gripe about once a month. Some of my girlfriends don’t mind my monthly texts of sorrow while others get uncomfortable when I say the word “period” – even if it’s not in relation to menstruation. To the former, I thank you all. To the latter, how do you know if any of your symptoms are truly out of the ordinary? How are you not on health forums and WebMD at every turn and in constant fear of a life-ending period? In short, menstruation is a bitch.

Hugo’s Mexican Kitchen

7101 Vedder Rd, Chilliwack BC

Image: Brenna Maag / The Reach


Dine & Dash

Earning your red wings

Johnny Roddick As far as sexual kinks go, earning a pair of red wings is hardly something to write home about – but it’s sure to give the shivers to those who can’t handle seeing blood. Yes, we’re talking about giving oral sex to a woman on her period. For many men “earning” this badge of honour is about proving manliness and sexual prowess. For others, it’s all about the lady boners. Fluctuating hormones, increased blood flow to the genitals and a decreased chance of pregnancy during menstruation all combine to result in many women feeling very easily and strongly aroused. As long as you and your partner have been tested for STDs and are healthy, it’s perfectly safe to perform cunnilingus during menstruation. However, if the idea of blood makes you feel queasy, fear not – simply insert a menstrual cup (such as the Diva Cup) into the vagina, wash up the area and enjoy oral sex without any mess. As a bonus, using a menstrual cup instead of disposable pads or tampons will save you a ton of money while sparing landfills from huge amounts of waste. They can also stay in all day and are better for your body. Win-win.

I lovingly refer to Hugo’s Mexican Kitchen as gas station Mexican, referring to its previous location in the back of an Esso station. For a long time it was one of Chilliwack’s best kept secrets, and now it has become a better known cantina in a bright new central location on Vedder Road. The atmosphere is unbeatable; it’s simple, homey and welcoming. A sign propped outside the front welcomes visitors to Mexico, and while I’ve never been to Mexico I hope it’s a lot like Hugo’s Mexican Kitchen. The menu is chalked up on the wall behind the counter, and pictures of meal items are posted around the till to help customers make a decision. The photos of the food look delicious, but in a natural way rather than a fake-foodphoto-shoot way. You get the idea that the food you are ordering will look a lot like these photographs, and you would be right. The heaping plates depicted in these images are the doppelgängers of the meal you are about to consume. The meal choices are relatively simple, presenting 10 or 12 items to choose from, ranging from taquitos to enchiladas to burritos. I’ve ordered the tacos acorazados, which is a perpetual special of the restaurant. It’s a simple but unbeatable combo of tortilla, rice, cilantro and beef, pork or chicken. Personally I would opt for an addition of sour cream and maybe less cilantro (which tends to be overpowering), but the meal is delicious nonetheless. I also recommend the taquitos, and suggest ordering a side of the homemade guacamole, no matter what the main meal is. The service is friendly, and after ordering and paying at the till, visitors get their pick of glossy wooden picnic tables and benches to sit at while the food is prepared fresh and brought to the table. Overall, Hugo’s Mexican kitchen is cozy and low-key, inexpensive and authentic. Their meals make the perfect summer meal, both quickly-prepared and full of flavour. Hold the cilantro, and the equation is perfect.




Last-minute contestant ties up continuing Battle CHARTS

1 2

Cellos The Accident

Peace The World Is Too Much With Us

3 4 5 6 7 8

Open Letters 1-6


CIVL DJ/ ragamuffin

Ever since Birds of Canada host Adam Roper installed mini-speakers to the front of his bicycle he’s been the envy of cyclists throughout the Fraser Valley. Here’s a few essential dance mixes he bikes to.

Losses Demos

Nazi Gold A Message of Love

NEEDS The Accursed Share

Teletexto Teletexto

The Koffin Kats Our Way & the Highway

9 10 11 12 13

Acousma Acousma Bloodshot Bill So Blue

Blitzkid Apparitional Trevor Blaak Before the Bloom

Candy Claws Ceres and Calypso in the Deep Time

14 15 16 17 18

The Everywheres Slow Friends OK Vancouver OK Food Shelter Water Heaven for Real Love Solo (single) The Brains The Monster Within Dad Punchers Dad Punchers

Amtrac – “Soho Beach House Mix” Amtrac takes the route of adding beats to vintage soul and groove samples, accumulating in an effortlessly flowing 30 minutes. It will make you feel like a real hero in the saddle with or without a sunset to ride into.

Madeon – “Triple J Mix” France’s Madeon is a prodigy in the truest sense of the word, a young DJ who completely disregards the drab incoherence of “club-step” in his crafting of fresh house jams. Nine out of 10 hipsters agree, this one is not to be missed.

The Twelves – “Episode 2” Finding yourself jamming out to a beat-driven version of “White Winter Hymnal” is just one of the great surprises you’ll find in this spot-on mix from Rio de Janeiro’s The Twelves. For extra credit track down The Twelfth Hour and 30 Minutes of the Twelves.

James Murphy – “Beats In Space Mix” For those extended hours on the road (day-bikes or cross province touring) there is James Murphy’s audacious three hour mix. For those not in the know, he was the frontman for LCD Soundsystem, our generation’s The Band.

Image: West My Friend

The Nacaals were a surprise addition to CIVL’s summer Battle of the Bands

JEREMY HANNAFORD CIVL DJ The music rose in both style and volume throughout Aftermath last Saturday in CIVL Radio’s Battle of the Bands. CIVL held its third night of battles on May 25 at the campus pub to an eager crowd of UFV students and newcomers. With Aftermath having a small entry hold, the pub was nearly full when the opening band began. “My goal was 50 people per night,” CIVL station manager Aaron Levy said, “not including bands and volunteers. After the last three Saturdays, we have had about 160 paid entrees in total!” Levy was also impressed with the change in audience demographic. “We wanted this to be all ages, but we are kind of impressed with the amount of younger kids we’ve been getting out, which is awesome,” Levy noted. “The last time CIVL did a concert series at the restaurant currently known as Aftermath, we did not make it all ages, and people wished we had.” Hrdwtr, a band out of Aldergrove started the night off with smooth folk music. Catchy tunes

with a mellow mood and violin strings, Hrdwtr brought familiar and entertaining music in a simple way to the battle. Hrdwtr, led by Jason Sylvester, has been writing and recording for the past several years. CIVL’s Battle of the Bands was the start of the band’s tour of Western Canada with their first full-length album. Afterwards was Abbotsford’s own Poppy and the Pistols, an alternative family band influenced by Jack White and Jon Foreman. Composed of three brothers and their father, the Penner family sped things up with a louder noise and a more raucous pace. While the band performed well both in talent and entertainment, they tended to go a tad preachy before songs, spouting clichéd song intros. Finishing off the battle with a last-minute entry was an alternative metal band from Mission called The Nacaals. Filling in for Surrey’s Kara Kata Afrobeat Group, The Nacaals were definitely the loudest and most intense of the three bands. The band’s music is similar to groups like Blag Dhalia and Between the Buried and Me. The Nacaals woke up the crowd with some hard pounding metal made up of great guitar and bass work and

solid drums. However, either due to the acoustics of Aftermath, the lyrics for the songs were almost unintelligible at times. The judges for the night broke down the performances and rated them in terms of creativity, performance and crowd reaction. Despite a worthy attempt from Hrdwter, Poppy and the Pistols and The Nacaals managed to tie for first place. The two will continue on to a playoff round later in the Battle of the Band’s schedule. Levy was happy with the result and participation from CIVL and SUS volunteers. “SUS really seems like they’re enjoying helping host the event,” Levy explained. “Bands are having really good experiences, and the volunteers have all been really enjoying themselves.” Levy and many others will be looking forward to the fourth battle on June 1 that will have Abbotsford’s rock quartet Minnesota Nice and post-hardcore virtuosos Losses as well as Langley’s ska punkers Guts and Glory duking it out to move forward in the battles to come. Serving K-12 & Adult Students

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Mini Album Reviews



Laura Marling Once I Was an Eagle

Elvis Depressedly Holo Pleasures

Bastille Haunt EP

Daft Punk Random Access Memories

Music critics love to write about musicians who have “old souls.” Neil Young was credited as having maturity beyond his age with his early work; same with Cat Power, and the 23-year-old Marling has gotten similar praise. Based solely on her voice, Marling is indeed an old soul through and through. You can almost smell the cigarettes that coat her voice wafting through the speakers on every track. Her candid and personal lyrics have always made it easy to track her maturity level, and Once I Was An Eagle is a record that firmly establishes Marling as an songwriter of great talent, imagination and vision. At a time where folk music is quite popular on college campuses, with inoffensive and generic folk bands beginning to make headway on the pop charts, Marling transcends this glut of boring folk bands in the scene with Eagle. Even if folk music is a genre you usually don’t touch with a 10-foot pole, the album is worth a listen just to hear Marling do her best Nicki Minaj impression on “Master Hunter” about 35 seconds in. Seriously.

Holo Pleasures, the newest release from Elvis Depressedly (aka Mat Cothran), is a stolid and gloomy, low fidelity slacker rock album that crackles with mono tape warmth and understated but infectious bass and vocal melodies. Elvis Depressedly channels the ramshackle production of early Guided By Voices albums, particularly noticeable in the combination of sparse, but maximal instrumentation and the double-tracked vocals. Where Elvis Depressedly noticeably diverges from GBV is his gruff, low-register pipes, inclusion of synths and inclination towards ethereal song cycles rather than the sound of garage rockers. Running times rarely exceed two minutes, keeping each track brief and to the point, no riff or melody ever outstaying its welcome. The crisplyplucked guitar work and ooo-ing beach-side refrain on “Inside You” and the beautifully cascading melody on closer “Thinning Out” make these tracks sighing highlights on the bummer of the summer.

While not quite as new to the music scene in their United Kingdom home, Bastille has just released their first extended play targeting North America in Haunt. And what’s almost certain to be noticed first is the English accent that radiates terrifically through each track. First is “Pompeii” which can be seen from two perspectives. With lyrics like “In the city that we love great clouds roll over the hills bringing darkness from above,” it’s the Roman city destroyed by Mount Vesuvius. On another level the song plays into a story of a person starting out in life whose attempts to be meaningful continue to crumble. This is all driven with a warm rhythmic backing intonation, a sound close to Lord Huron’s. “Overjoyed” follows and is a much more emotive and slower song. And, while I wouldn’t consider it a bad sign, they do again borrow from another band – in this case Snow Patrol. Following that is “Bad Blood,” a track with heavy ‘80s influences. It’s quite enjoyable but also the most forgettable. Finally, while each of these first three tracks can be found on the band’s full length UK release from April, this EP’s title track, “Haunt,” is new material. It’s a story of youth making uncertain decisions in life and love. A slower track, it beats with trembling reverbed harmonies.





band’s stature grow exponentially since we last heard from them. Through their long history of rotating line-ups percolating around the core duo of Stephen McRobbie and, since 1990, Katrina Mitchell, the band has embraced a range of iterations that have emphasized garage guitar and chiming guitar pop in equal turn. Now, the Pastels have settled into a quiet, laidback pop classicism that would be almost baroque if it wasn’t so offthe-cuff and raw. The snare is decidedly off for the opening drum fill of “Check My Heart,” referencing The Kinks’ dark salvo “Wicked Annabella” before reversing direction and heading for a village green with a decidedly sunnier disposition. This sort of playfulness gives life to the album’s muted beauty. While The Pastels have never shied away from the slow burn, consistently dwelling in mid-tempo arrangements and understated instrumentation, Slow Summits finds them more engaged with this quiet, delicately-crafted side of their music than ever before. The band manages to make subtle vari-

ations and carefully-selected instrumentation usher the song into each new passage with disregard for running times or concision, using these elongated spaces to build surprisingly hypnotic tension. There are, of course, some moments that fall flat. The aimless mid-album instrumental “After Image” fizzles out before it can reach the “Pet Sounds” heights it strives for. Yet for every moment that doesn’t quite connect, there’s a “Night Time Made Us” or “Wrong Light” where the same techniques and intention instead coalesce into an understated beauty more appreciable for its unfolding detail. There are some for whom the held-back, casual manner of Slow Summits may prove frustrating, but its deceptively simple melodicism and unhurried drama reward repeat listens. It is a minor triumph, lacking bold innovation, but masterfully-crafted and true to its particular intent.

Three albums in a row now, Daft Punk’s music can be heard, but through the screen of allegations “this doesn’t sound like Daft Punk” (the critically underrated electro-rock Human After All, the Zimmer-aided soundtrack to TRON Legacy, and Random Access Memories) and the everpresent critique of commercial means of production. An onslaught of advertisements have attempted to finish critical discussion of the album, forcing the narrative of mysterious collaboration and electronics juxtaposed with emotion, but Random Access Memories, for all its determined datedness, has very little about it that is different from the Daft Punk of the past. The magic of scarcity makes the disco bass of Nile Rodgers and emotional maximalism of Paul Williams stand out, and there’s a stronger emphasis on lyrics, still repetitive and unabashedly simple, but there are enough familiar touches after the NASA transmissions and Moroder intros to bring perspective closer to the strains of beloved indulgence heard from “Revolution 909” to “Make Love.” Contrary to the group’s lyrics’ mantra-like insistence, this is unhurried, relaxed dance music that takes its time in being as affective (“Touch”), miserable (“The Game of Love”), exulting (“Lose Yourself to Dance”), and technically clear (“Motherboard”) as it wants to be.

Album Review

The Pastels – Slow Summits NICK UBELS

THE CASCADE The steady strums of a barelyperceptible acoustic guitar fade in. Flute, bells, clean-channel electric guitar and horn motifs modulate around a hushed baritone female vocal singing a too-easy melody. The song is “Secret Music,” our re-introduction to The Pastels after a prolonged absence. But the song’s title, and Katrina Mitchell’s whispered invitation to “sing a song quietly” asks us to throw out the usual assumptions about a band on hiatus from touring or recording, namely that taking a break from the public eye means that they have stopped making music together. Instead, it feels like we have somehow wandered away and found our way back to a party that has continued on without us. It’s disorienting, but a warm antidote to well-worn big splash reunion narrative. The Pastels would like us to believe that they have only continued shambling forward, offering a friendly hand to help pull us back in stride. The beloved 1980s Glasgow

jangle-pop outfit make their longawaited and exquisitely subdued return with Slow Summits. It’s their first proper record since Illumination in 1997, and their first set of original material since contribut-

ing to the mostly instrumental soundtrack The Last Great Wilderness in 2003, but their influence on the early careers of the Jesus and Mary Chain, Teenage Fanclub and The Vaselines has helped the







Good enough to eat: A starter’s guide to balcony gardening KATIE STOBBART the cascade

Little tastes better and more satisfying than crisp produce grown just outside in the garden. No film of chemicals, no toxic emissions polluting the air to bring food to my table – just the simplicity of going outside, harvesting some lettuce and tomatoes, and making a salad. Unfortunately, many students miss out for lack of space living in apartments, where outdoor area is limited to the balcony. But it’s still possible and even easy to grow your own herbs, vegetables, and flowers in a small space; a little creativity and a small budget is all you need. To start a basic garden, you will need soil, planters, healthy plants (or seeds, if you prefer), a watering can and a balcony that gets some sunlight. Planters come in a variety of different shapes and sizes. There are ones that can be set up on balcony rails and long narrow planters that can edge a balcony and will hold a few plants each. When you are choosing a container, make sure you think about how much space your plant will

image: Katie Stobbart

Katie’s balcony garden includes lettuce, herbs and other edible plants. need. You can often find tomatoes and strawberries in hanging baskets, which saves a lot of space. If your balcony does not have a hook to hang a basket from, you can find wire stands for baskets that have room underneath for other plants. To put store-bought plants in your own containers, gently press

Beyond the physical

Looking after our mental health JASPER MOEDT THE CASCADE

Now that most of us are well into our summer semester it easy to forget the pressures and stress that comes with a university education. It is easy to push aside the stresses of the fall and winter as the summer sun shines; most will ask – why worry about it now? The truth is that mental health works much like physical health. You want to be physically strong? Go lift weights or go train. Same goes for mental health. You want to be able to cope with the many stressors of a full course load along with the many other commitments that students deal with? Training for that begins over the summer months. As students we want to build our emotional resilience, or our ability to adapt to change. The summer months are a great time to look at ways to increase our emotional resilience so that by the time fall rolls around we are better prepared for the challenges ahead. Building emotional resilience is not something that just happens overnight. Think of it as comparable to achieving a new personal best on a run; it takes a commitment of time and training. Although there are many complicating factors in becoming a more resilient person there are a few specific traits that are especially important for students. The first (and often most important) step is to become aware of your emotional state and the stressors in your life. Often in the midst of a hectic semester we can simply feel overwhelmed without being able to identify specific causes. Without

the ability to recognize what is bothering us we lose the power to make positive changes in our lives. Practicing the ability to detect stressors during the summer is extremely beneficial; generally over summer break we have fewer stressors and it is a good starting place to practice identifying specifics. Secondly it is important for any student to develop an internal locus of control, or the feeling that you directly control the outcome of your life and not vice versa. With an internal locus of control comes the feeling of self-control. You are no longer at the mercy of external events; by embracing this mindset an individual commits to the fact that the only force that has control of the outcome of their life is themselves. Working on developing this mindset is a labour of time. Treat every problem with a mindset of internal control. Frustrating boss or coworkers? How can you change the situation to make the relationship more bearable? Professor gives you a poor grade? How can you ensure that this situation does not occur again? It all comes down to accepting that the outcomes in your life are in your control. If you want to see change you must acknowledge that you hold the power to fuel that change. Building emotional resilience is a process that takes time and practice. It’s a slow process and it takes constant vigilance. The above techniques are important to start practicing while you have less stressors in your life. Different strategies in building emotional resilience work for different people. Awareness and practicing those coping strategies is the key to being able to deal with stress in a healthy manner.

all sides of the container to release the plant and dirt. Use one hand to keep excess dirt from falling and tip the container slightly, and then use your other hand to very gently pull the plant and dirt from the container. The dirt should mostly stay in the container’s shape; squish it a little to stimulate the roots, then put

it into your own planter, packing some fresh dirt around the stem of the plant. Now that it’s planted, you can water your new plant. Herbs are easy edible plants to take care of. Chives, lavender, rosemary, oregano and mint are all useful additions to a garden. Fresh herbs are great for cooking and prolific if you care for them and take regular cuttings. When it gets colder, you can bring them inside to a sunny window. To add personal touches to my balcony garden, I like to look at thrift stores for cheap finds. I just picked up a sturdy little teapot to hold mint. If a pot doesn’t have good drainage (holes in the bottom) put some small stones under the dirt. If you’re planning to grow mint, maybe to make mojitos this summer, I would advise planting it in its own container and not too close to other planters. It can reach over and choke out your other plants. Lettuce is also easy to grow. You can buy a few different varieties – I planted a selection this year and they are all delicious. One popular type is butter crunch lettuce if you only want to try one kind. Look for healthy fresh leaves, bright green with no brown spots. It should look good

enough to eat! I have good results from misting lettuce in addition to watering. If you’re buying plants, look for lots of buds; more flowers usually means greater yield. Be aware of your plants’ needs. The amount of sun and water required will differ from plant to plant. A good rule of thumb is to feel the weight of small plant pots – if the plant is heavy it probably has enough water, but if it is light and the soil feels dry you should water it. Plants in desperate need of water will wilt. If you have a basket, water until it starts to drain from the hole in the bottom. In warm weather plants should be watered every day at least once. Aim to water in the morning or evening when it is coolest. Cultivating a garden in a small space is only limited by your imagination. The size of your budget will depend on how big you want your garden to be and what you want it to look like, but you can often find starter plants for less than $3, and sales on gardening supplies. Growing your own food is also an excellent way to eat healthily this summer.

Exploring the Fraser Valley: Teapot Hill JASPER MOEDT THE CASCADE

Ever since May arrived I have found the great outdoors calling my name. The idea of getting out of the house and avoiding any potential coursework from my summer classes has become more and more appealing as the days get warmer and (theoretically) drier. This past week I chose to head up to Cultus Lake to the Teapot Hill trail. A short drive from the Abbotsford UFV campus (45 minutes), this hike is close, convenient and leads to a great view. To get to the trailhead I drove up the side of Cultus Lake past the beaches, where I found a parking lot on the left side of the road marked specifically for the trail. I chose to go on a day that was heavily overcast (not that I had much of a choice with recent weather) so the trail was relatively quiet with only a few other vehicles in the parking lot. This trail is fairly well known, however, and I have been warned previously that the trail will usually fill up on a nice day. The hike itself was a relatively short affair; it took about 25 minutes to get to the top and another 20 to get down, but what the trail lacks in distance it makes up for in sights. To add to the scenery there are teapots decorated in the trees left by previous hikers who felt like adding to the trail’s mystique. I spent a good amount of my time looking out for these hidden treasures. Considering that for most of the hike the trail was fairly well grown in (and so there was not much of a view) the numerous little pots proved to be a welcome sightseeing adventure. Nearing the end of the hike the

image: Jen Colbourne

The view from Teapot hill trail begins to steepen and the foliage begins to break, letting light into the forest around the path. Eventually this opens up more substantially and through the trees a view of Cultus Lake and the surrounding valley becomes visible. At this point in my expedition it had started raining, so the view I received was less than spectacular as all I could see were treetops and mist. Lucky for me another hiker had reached the top and assured me that normally this view is breathtaking, which was especially comforting! As I began my descent the rain picked up and was quickly turning into an outright downpour. Needless to say there was much less sightseeing to be done as I made a near sprint down the mountain in my attempt to get to my car somewhat dry. This sprint ending up being in vain, as I arrived at my car effectively soaked through; I was in for a

soggy drive home. All in all Teapot Hill would be an excellent hike for beginners who are looking for something small to start off their hiking season. The hike would be a great day trip coupled with a visit to one of the various beaches at Cultus Lake. Just be sure you choose a sunny day!

Teapot memorial

image: Jen Colbourne




Fraser Valley Footbag aims to bring “Hacky Sack” back JOEL SMART

Fraser valley footbag

Ever stood in a circle with some friends and tried to keep a small object in the air with only your feet? Some people do it with a soccer ball, others with a shuttlecock usually called a jianzi; some do it with a sepak takraw ball made out of woven rattan. When I was growing up, however, the most popular version I played was with a small, round, crocheted bag filled with tiny plastic pellets – a footbag. As a self-professed lover of footbag—Hacky Sack is the trademarked name—I was quick to partner up with a friend to start a local organization of footbag enthusiasts. This group, Fraser Valley Footbag, meets during the summer months to play games, usually at Mill Lake or Jubilee Park (especially during the awesome, free concert-andculture series Jam in Jubilee). Fraser Valley Footbag is open to the community, but it’s also a UFV club. As such, we also meet on campus to play sometimes – usually on the green. The group came about partly because the popularity of the game had taken a dive in recent years. Footbag seems to be one of those games that takes off as a fad every couple years, and then falls off leaving only a few, dedicated individuals to play mostly on their own. As our group developed we gained members who knew about more variations of footbag than simply standing in a circle. Footbag includes three major sports, and each are very different. The first is footbag freestyle, an extremely creative art form similar to dance. Those who play freestyle (or compete in freestyle competitions) often perform choreographed routines in sync with music of their choosing. At competitions, judges will assess the performance in accordance to how difficult it was, how skilfully it was executed, as well as the style exhibited. It tends to be played with a looser footbag,

image: Joel Smart/Gabriel Penalba

image: Jack Forster

Fraser Valley Footbag gathers in summer months at Mill Lake, UFV or other local venues to freestyle or play games like footbag foursquare. sometimes filled with sand to allow easier stalls and tricks. The second footbag sport is called footbag net. It’s played on a doubles badminton court with either one or two people to a side. Like volleyball, you’re allowed multiple hits before returning it over the net – two in singles play, or three in doubles. Unlike volleyball, however, arms and hands are strictly off limits. It tends to be played with

a harder footbag than those usually used for freestyle. There is also a sport called footbag golf, which shares a lot in common with disc (Frisbee) golf. In this variant, each player has their own footbag which they take turns kicking towards “holes” that are set up along a given path. Regulation golf holes are 18 inches in diameter and sit 18 inches above the ground. For most people, a

small basket or bin is more than adequate. Players are also allowed to bring several footbags of different hardnesses – harder footbags for distance and a very soft one used as a putter. A fourth footbag game, which doesn’t have any professional regulations, is called footbag foursquare. This game takes place on a foursquare court, or any similar surface that can be divided into four squares. Here

players simply use only their feet to try to keep the footbag from landing in their square. Fraser Valley Footbag does occasionally play these more sophisticated games, and beginners are always welcome. We also enjoy teaching newcomers how to “stall” a footbag, and appreciate the presence of players of all skill levels. To find out more check out Fraser Valley Footbag on Facebook.

Whitecaps tie the game but lose the championship JESS WIND


The Vancouver Whitecaps have joined the ranks of BC teams that come very close to earning championships, but only very close. On May 29, the ‘Caps hosted the Montréal Impact for the final match of the Amway Canadian Championship. The winner with the highest aggregate goals would win the Voyageurs Cup and be granted a place in the 2013 CONCACAF Champions League, something the Whitecaps have been chasing for over a decade. Goals scored on away turf are worth more than goals scored at home and the previous match between these two clubs ended in a scoreless draw, so Montréal was going into Wednesday’s game knowing they only needed to score once.

The home team wasted no time deciding the pace of the game. A free kick from Camilo Sanvezzo from well outside the 18-yard box sailed past Montréal Impact’s keeper, Evan Bush a mere four minutes into play. However, the Impact had the extra help of the crossbar preventing any more ‘Caps goals in the half. The Whitecaps managed to create many chances and dominated play, holding onto their one-goal lead until the 49th minute. The Impact pushed into the zone relatively unchallenged before attempting a cross that was easily blocked. The ball bounced to an open Felipe Martins just outside the 18-yard box who wasted no time sending it by Whitecaps goalkeeper Brad Kinghton. The score was tied at 1-1, forcing the Whitecaps into a “win the game, or lose the championship” situation – a tie

would result in the trophy going to Montréal. Whitecaps midfielder Gershon Koffie’s day ended at the 57th minute when a relatively unaggressive challenge for the ball resulted in his injury. Daigo Kobayashi took his place and made it count a little over 10 minutes later. A well placed cross from Nigel Reo-Coker had Kobayashi battling for a header at the top of the six-yard box. He came out ahead and after a great second effort on his part was rewarded with the ball in the back of the net making the score 2-1. The ‘Caps were back on top and BC Place was ecstatic. If only they could hold onto their one goal lead. Whitecaps’ defenceman Andy O’Brien dashed in for a sliding block to prevent a scoring opportunity from Impact’s big goal scorer Marco Di Vaio late in the

second half resulting in a corner kick. The ball easily found Hassoun Camara’s head and the back of the net at the 84th minute. A goal resulting from a set play and unmarked men has become all too familiar for Whitecaps FC. With the game tied at 2-2, the Whitecaps needed to pull out a last minute goal in order to hoist the Voyageurs Cup. They almost looked like they were going to do it too after a cross from Russell Tiebert found Jordan Harvey’s head. The defenceman, who had taken striker Kenny Miller’s position on the field, sent the ball sailing over the cross bar after an ill-timed jump. Soon after, Harvey was granted another chance after a gift pass from striker Darren Mattocks who entered the match for Camilo at the 82nd minute. Harvey fired the shot from his right foot wide of the net resulting in

another lost opportunity for the Whitecaps to regain their lead. As the referee blew the whistle after injury time and Montréal began to celebrate, the stands at BC Place emptied solumnly. The team celebrated on away turf as the Voyagers trophy was presented. In a post-game interview Knighton described the loss as stinging, and hopes that the club has short-term memory going into their league play. “The games are coming thick and fast and now we need to focus and shift our focus to the league and start winning league games and moving up the table.”

The Cascade Vol. 21 No. 16  

The Cascade is the University of the Fraser Valley's autonomous student newspaper, and has been since 1993.