The Cascade Vol. 21 No. 20

Vol. 21 Issue. 20

www.ufvcascade.ca

September 4 to September 10, 2013

Regrettably using the word millenial since 1993

AfterMath closes after three hours of service p. 4

An introduction to sports journalism, Cascade style p. 15

2

NEWS News

Young artists assemble

The Reach Abbotsford art gallery is calling for local artists to become members of Young Contemporaries. Griffy Vigneron speaks to coordinator and recent UFV graduare Gabriel Kirkley about the perks and events that come with a Young Contemporaries membership including free admission to some of the gallery’s events and workshops.

Opinion

America mulls invasion

Following a devastating chemical attack in Syria, the US teeters on its decision to take illegal punitive action against the Syrian government. Nadine Moedt discusses the politics of an intervention and the reactionary, westernized morality in play.

pg. 4

pg. 6

Arts & Life

Violet Hart returns

Infamous sex columnist Violet Hart is back at UFV, and ready to tell all you first-years what YOU need to know about being in university. Check out the 1-23 of losing your virginity and get all the deets from The Cascade’s Sexpert.

pg. 13

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Sports & Health The sweet seduction of summer soccer

Cascades soccer wrapped up their preseason last week, and are in fighting trim for the season opener this Friday in Chilliwack. The future seems hopeful for the Cascades’ slant on the world’s most popular game.

pg. 16

EDITORIAL

Don’t sweat the small stuff new semester, old stress DESSA BAYROCK

THE CASCADE

September is part of a magical season.

The weather finally cools down to a bearable level, and rain falls upon the parched land. The leaves change their hues to fiery colours, and carefree, well-tanned young people transform overnight into stressed and wild-eyed students with too much homework and not enough sleep.

This year (like most years) Labour Day still had a summery feel to it.

“So this is September?” we said to each other, pleasantly surprised at how similar it felt to August.

But after Labour Day, the first day of school arrives – cracking its knuckles and gearing up to kick ass and take names.

As soon as the clock strikes eight, students flood onto campus like a huge synchronized swimming team badly in need of practice. The members of the crowd range from the cluelessly terrified first-year (“Where is G building?” they ask each other, urgently. “What is Books2Go??”) to the veteran fifth-years (“I think I just saw a 12-year-old,” they growl.)

There are some nice things

Image: Sameer Vasta / Flickr

Ever tried herb and garlic cream cheese on a blueberry bagel? This semesters’s stress might just drive you to it. about the start of semester (clean, unfilled notebooks, new pens, classes you aren’t sick of yet) but also the parts that everyone tries to forget about over the summer semester – the price of textbooks, for example, or just how much professors like to rely on group work.

Soon enough this semester starts to look like all other semesters – a mix of good and bad, a shade of gray hovering diplomatically between the two poles. Notebooks fill up, pens are lost, textbooks rapidly degrade in value.

It’s at this point in the semester that each student makes a choice; will this be the semester that splits off in a new direction, to include study habits and vegetables? Or will this semester end like so many others in a downward spiral of fast

food, sleep deprivation, and missed reading? Perhaps you will become the envy of all and find a happy medium between the two.

I’ve survived five long years at UFV to date, and there are some things that hold true no matter what path I find myself on: All-nighters don’t work. Get yourself to bed at some point, even if it’s just for an hour. After a point (be it after 21 hours awake or after a certain number of coffees), brains just shut down. Don’t fight it. You’re not doing yourself any favours by yawning in front of the laptop and trying to remember what word you wanted to put next in the sentence. If you can average six hours of sleep a night, you’ll thank me.

Go for a salad instead of the

fries. It might not be as greasily delicious, but your body will thank you later by not feeling nauseated.

D115 sounds like it has snakes in the roof. Don’t let it freak you out. It’s the air conditioning or something.

Finally (to repeat advice I gave first-years in our orientation issue), the most costeffective meal on campus is a bagel from the Tim Horton’s in the library building. You will probably find yourself eating a lot of bagels. Word to the wise: at the end of the day, the selection dwindles rapidly, but herb and garlic cream cheese on a blueberry bagel is surprisingly good.

Most importantly, don’t sweat the small stuff. A year from now, what are you going to remember? How much you hate group work, or how much you love opening a package of new pens?

In the same way your memory omits the nasty bits of the year as soon as you step into summer sunlight, the stuff that makes you tear your hair out this semester will be forgotten as soon as you finish your last exam and fall into bed for a much-needed nap over Christmas break.

Editor-in-chief dessa@ufvcascade.ca Dessa Bayrock Managing editor michael@ufvcascade.ca Michael Scoular Business manager joe@ufvcascade.ca Joe Johnson Online editor emily@ufvcascade.ca Emily Seitz Production manager stewart@ufvcascade.ca Stewart Seymour Art director anthony@ufvcascade.ca Anthony Biondi Copy editor katie@ufvcascade.ca Katie Stobbart News editor jess@ufvcascade.ca Jess Wind Opinion editor nadine@ufvcascade.ca Nadine Moedt Arts & life editor sasha@ufvcascade.ca Sasha Moedt Sports editor esau@ufvcascade.ca Paul Esau Photojournalist blake@ufvcascade.ca Blake McGuire Staff writer Griffy Vigneron Contributors Taylor Breckles, Jennifer ColbourneKatherine Gibson, Jeremy Hannaford, Nial HarrisonMorry, Keith Mordan, Ashley Mussbacher, Riley Nowlan, Muhammed Sissoho, and Tim Ubels Printed By International Web exPress

UPCOMING EVENTS September 3-14

September 5

September 5

September 3

SUS Weeks of Welcome

Diverging Proposals

Humanities student space grand opening

Varsity soccer home openers

Highlighting works from UFV Visual Arts students’ independent studies over the summer semester, Diverging Proposals will provide an opportunity for young artists to present and discuss their creations in person.

The event goes at 6:30 in B136 on the Abbotsford campus.

Come out to D 3070 to join in the unveiling of the humanities student space: a designated space on campus for any and all humanities students to come study, relax and connect with other likeminded students.

Join the UFV Cascades soccer squads at Exhibition Field in Chilliwack for their home openers.

The women take on the UNBC Timberwolves at 5 pm and the men take on the TWU Spartans at 7:15.

Come out and cheer them on as they begin a new season in pursuit of the CIS championship

SUS hosts a plethora of events over the first two weeks of classes. Split between both Abbotsford and Chilliwack campuses, there is something for everyone. Come check out wacky games on the green, movies, food, concerts and so much more!

Volume 21 · Issue 20 Room C1027 33844 King Road Abbotsford, BC V2S 7M8 604.854.4529

The Cascade is UFV’s autonomous student newspaper. It provides a forum for UFV students to have their journalism published. It also acts as an alternative press for the Fraser Valley. The Cascade is funded with UFV student funds. The Cascade is published every Wednesday with a circulation of 1500 and is distributed at UFV campuses and throughout Abbotsford, Chilliwack, and Mission. The Cascade is a member of the Canadian University Press, a national cooperative of 75 university and college newspapers from Victoria to St. John’s. The Cascade follows the CUP ethical policy concerning material of a prejudicial or oppressive nature.

Submissions are preferred in electronic format through e-mail. Please send submissions in “.txt” or “.doc” format only.

Articles and letters to the editor must be typed.

The Cascade reserves the right to edit submissions for clarity and length. The Cascade will not print any articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic or libellous content. The writer’s name and student number must be submitted with each submission. Letters to the editor must be under 250 words if intended for print. Only one letter to the editor per writer in any given edition.

Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect that of UFV, Cascade staff and collective, or associated members.

3

NEWS

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Harvest Box provides fresh veggies for students KATHERINE GIBSON

CONTRIBUTOR

It’s no secret that university students do not have a lot of money. Many students are swimming in debt, or spending every penny they earn on school, leaving very little of their income to buy essentials – essentials like fruits and vegetables.

Enter Vibrant Abbotsford and the Harvest Box initiative.

In partnership with SUS, Vibrant Abbotsford’s harvest boxes will give students and faculty the opportunity to gain access to reasonably priced nutritional products that they may otherwise go without.

“The Harvest Box is an initiative aimed at giving all people access to food that is healthy and affordable,” Emma Wynker, a nutrition student at the University of British Columbia and a key player in bringing the Harvest Box to UFV explains.

“For eight dollars, you get a ten pound box full of predominantly local fresh fruits and vegetables,” she continues.

“These boxes are always filled with at least seven different varieties of produce.”

In making this program available, both Vibrant Abbots-

Image: Harvest Box

SUS brings fresh fruits and veggies to students at an affordable price through Harvest Box initiative. ford and SUS hope to ensure that people purchasing the boxes get a good balance of nutrients.

“Fresh produce on campus

has been hard to come by in the past,” Kristianne Hendricks, SUS’s VP Academic representative explains. “When Vibrant Abbotsford partnered with us

to bring the Harvest Box program to our campus, we were really excited about the idea of having fresh fruits and vegetables available to students for a

really, really great price.”

As to concerns regarding the use of the service potentially taking a box away from someone in need, Wynker emphasizes that is not the case.

“The unique part of this program is that it is accessible to everyone,” she explains.

“There is no reason for anyone to feel that they can’t take part in it ... the harvest boxes aren’t subsidized and it’s not a charity.”

She goes on to explain how the success of the service helps everyone involved.

“It’s helping BC farmers and it’s increasing the number of fruits and vegetables people eat. We have such a capacity for growth – the more harvest box orders that we are able to put in, the better it is for everyone.”

Hendricks echoes the benefits of the program, adding that “research consistently shows that health and education are interdependent ... healthy students are better learners.”

Harvest boxes are delivered straight to the Abbotsford SUS office and the program is already up and running; it will be available to students throughout the school year.

UFV granted the ability to institute new programs with greater efficiency KATIE STOBBART

THE CASCADE

Developing new degree programs can be a long and costly process. However, UFV recently received official approval of its application for exempt status from the Minister of Advanced Education, making that process faster and less expensive.

Usually, an institution must send proposals for new degrees to the Degree Quality Assessment Board (DQAB) for approval. Then, after a process often taking several months, the DQAB decides whether to recommend approval of a program to the Minister of Advanced Education, who may take months more to decide if the new degree will be approved. With exempt status, an institution is able to cut out the middle step by sending degree proposals directly to the Minister.

“It’s much faster and it’s cheaper,” Eric Davis, Provost and Vice-President, Academic says, noting that the cost to have each program reviewed by the DQAB is roughly $8000.

“Say you want to approve six new programs in a year – that’s almost $50,000.”

UFV first applied for exempt status in 2009. After a site visit by an external review team, it was recommended to the

DQAB that UFV receive exempt status, but the board did not agree with the recommendation; although UFV had a program review policy, it had only just been created.

“They said to do a year or so of program reviews, then reapply. We did that – it took about two years to finish the program review cycle, and we reapplied.

In late [February] 2012, it was recommended to the Minister that we get exempt status. Then we heard nothing for a year … and we were told that because they had done a review of the entire DQAB process, they weren’t going to proceed with recommendations for exempt status [yet],” Davis explains.

According to the 2011 review of the degree approval process in BC, a temporary moratorium was put in place on the approval of new degree proposals and an advisory panel formed to make recommendations to government about streamlining and redesigning the process, contributing to the delay of approval on UFV’s application for exempt status.

A little over four years after its initial application, UFV has been approved.

“The exempt status is a milestone partly because our program reviews are recognized as excellent, meaning we need less oversight and we’re no different from any other university,” Davis says. “It was a long

Image: Anthony Biondi

UFV is now able to submit degree proposals directly to the MInister of Advanced Education. process, and it’s a great feeling of satisfaction that our institution has achieved this goal.”

With an expedited process, UFV has several programs in development or nearing approval within the next year.

A cohort program for teacher education at the secondary level is currently waiting for the Minister’s approval. Other programs still undergoing internal review include a media arts degree, an indigenous studies major and minor, a bachelor of agriculture, an engineering

physics program in mechatronics, and a bachelor of education.

“You have to be very strategic about the programs you put on, confident that there is student demand for those programs [and] that there are good employment prospects for graduates,” Davis says, noting there are other potential programs which are being considered for later years. “Because we don’t get any growth money from the province—and haven’t for years; no post-secondary insti-

tution has—we have to be strategic with what we do in terms of new programming, because ultimately … you can only use your resources for so many things.”

However, it seems that a shorter and less costly degree approval process will give UFV some additional room to grow as well as give students some new opportunities for study.

4

NEWS

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

New connections for artists and young people at The Reach GRIFFY VIGNERON

THE CASCADE

Abbotsford’s young artists have never been so lucky.

The Reach gallery will be offering young artists space to showcase their skills and network.

The Young Contemporaries is a program at The Reach focusing on connecting youth to art and local talent. Just launched last week, it will be reaching out to those aged 18-35.

“The goal of the program is to sort of create a place or a space [for] ... the millennial generation,” Gabe Kirkley, marketing and programming coordinator at The Reach and recent UFV graduate says. “I’ve sort of felt like there wasn’t ... a space for us here.”

A big part of the program

will be the monthly Art on Tap event, hosted in part by CIVL radio as well as The Reach. A night of beer, wine, and good music, it will be a public event and a great place to mingle or hang out with friends. “[It’s] for everybody,” Kirkley says enthusiastically. “It’s a concert basically with some cool stuff added on.”

The event will showcase four new artists each month, each a Young Contemporaries member. Artists who are members simply have to submit their work to be shown and it will be.

“Everyone will eventually get to exhibit. We’re open to everything from painting to poetry,” Kirkley says.

Currently the greatest criteria for being featured as a young contemporary is promptness, explains Kirk-

Image: Griffy Vigneron

Young Contemporaries promises creativity and networking. ley. “There is something to be said about the people who are gung-ho and eager!”

In an effort to engage everyone, a leadership team will be

CIVL reaches fundraiser goal and looks to Chilliwack KATHERINE GIBSON

AfterMath closes early on first day JESS WIND

CONTRIBUTOR

While you were lounging at the beach and soaking in your days of academic freedom this summer, CIVL Radio was knee-deep in fundraising.

An intensive week-long CIVL initiative (aptly named “Amplify Your Community”) ran from July 12 to 19. Since this was the first time this type of fundraiser has been done at UFV, its success was uncertain.

Aaron Levy, CIVL station manager, described the lowest goal they were reaching for.

“We had a lowball goal of $5000 that if we reached [it] we were going to just upgrade our technical equipment.”

Instead the fundraiser managed to bring in $12,500 for the station.

With the support of the Community Radio Fund of Canada (CRFC), as well as collecting funds from auctioning off Tshirts and the legendary CIVL bike, putting on Gala Events and facilitating a drive-in movie, CIVL was able not only to meet its initial goal, but easily surpass it.

Beyond student involvement, this fundraiser also gave CIVL the opportunity to reach out to the local community.

Collectively donating $5000 in product such as posters and prizes, community businesses and individuals showed their support for the station – a fact for which Levy is very grateful.

“The community relationships that CIVL has are relationships that many campus stations in other cities and at other universities do not have,” he explained. “We have great connections and we use them to help provide for students. We realize that your community is your community, and that’s something that we try to embrace as much as possible.”

The success of this event

chosen of both artists and nonartists.

“I don’t want this to be about me and what I want to do,” Kirkley explains. “I’d love to

THE CASCADE

Image: Anthony BIondi

CIVL radio plans to expand broadcast to Chilliwack. has given CIVL the funds to revamp its studio equipment, and also to begin the process of bringing CIVL broadcasts out to Chilliwack, a matter of great importance to the station.

“Right now, we can serve Abbotsford, Mission, Aldergrove, and parts of Langley with FM radio, but we can’t serve Chilliwack, which is where one of the main UFV campuses is located,” Levy explained. “We need to put effort towards broadcasting into Chilliwack because it’s a huge benefit to us – it shows students that we are respecting what they want, and that we’re not ignoring members of our community “ Broadcasting into Chilliwack will take a lot of time and money to successfully achieve.

“There is engineering research that is needed, and that’s only one piece of the puzzle,” Levy explained.

“CIVL was licensed to broadcast on FM radio in Abbotsford for four years before we ever did, because we had to put together the research and the money in order to make it happen.”

CIVL’s need for continued financial support is apparent.

However, Levy is aware that students do not have a lot of

extra money to support the station. CIVL’s failure to pass two different referendums, one asking to add two and the other four dollars to student tuition fees, speaks to this.

“Students look at saying yes to referendums as a permanent expense that they will have to spend every semester,” he noted. “Students pay a lot of tuition and we understand that; we are very aware that they’re not a bottomless well of money.”

Students interested in getting involved with CIVL or learning more about the programming that is available can go to civl.ca or visit the station in C-building on the Abbotsford campus.

have artists, but also the people who aren’t artists, there to ... say, ‘Well, this is what we’d like.’”

The Young Contemporaries program will also offer free or discounted workshops for young artists and non-artists.

An artist of the year award will be given out to one member, with a currently undisclosed prize that will be announced in the spring.

Since launching at the end of last week the program has already attained 20 members.

Membership is $25 per person and pays for itself in five visits to Art on Tap. If you register with friends, the membership cost goes down for everyone.

The next Art on Tap will be held on October 17 at 7 pm with tickets available soon.

AfterMath’s annual reopening was abruptly cut short on its first day. After approximately three hours of service, the pub closed its doors.

The student-run lounge made many changes over the summer to run a more student-oriented and efficient business. Three students were brought on board to divide managerial duties and new kitchen and serving staff were hired.

Predicting a customer count similar to last year, AfterMath opened its doors on the first day of classes only to be swamped by hungry students, explains SUS president Shane Potter.

“All our projections got blown out of the water. Way more people than we ever anticipated showed up,” he says.

Food appeared to pile up at the window and on the edge of the bar as some students waited over an hour for their food.

AfterMath events and marketing manager Stephanie Martin elaborated on the causes of a the congested service.

“The issues – there’s just too many to effectively run the service. Debit/credit machine [was] not working, the squirrel system where we input all

of our menu items [was] not quite working properly either,” she explains.

The doors were closed to preserve a high level of service, Martin notes.

“With all the hiccups that we’re having ... we’re not having service up to our standard and so we’d rather not offer the service,” she says, adding that they will reevaluate and reopen once they can provide students the optimal campus lounge experience.

“At this time, we feel it is better to re-launch our grand opening once we have implemented the necessary changes for increased demand” Potter assures that the lounge will be up and running again sometime next week, once they can hire and train more staff to accommodate the customer flow.

Potter announced the rescheduled grand opening on Facebook.

“At this time, we feel it is better to re-launch our grand opening once we have implemented the necessary changes for increased demand,” he says.

But for now the doors will remain closed.

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5

OPINION

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

SNAPSHOTS

Curtailed commentary on current conditions

First day blues

X-ray glasses

The comment section

Junk mail

RILEY NOWLAN

KeiTH MORDEN

SASHA MOEDT

KATIE STOBBART

It’s the first day of classes and you’re up and moving much earlier than your summer slumber schedule allowed. You make your way to the appropriate classroom, find a suitable seat, and become enthralled with the screen on your phone. Professors make their way through the start-of-semester motions.

First the taking of attendance, then the handing out of the syllabus, and then my least favorite part of this first day dance.

That is when everyone takes turns saying his or her name, program, reason for taking the class, and so on.

This is not an impossible or even challenging task; however on that first day I cringe at the thought of it. Realistically I know that every other student is much more concerned with what they are going to say then learning my reason for taking this class. My throat goes dry and my mind goes blank.

Yes, I know that I have made it through every first day of classes with no major embarrassments or disasters – still, I would much rather skip this dreaded tradition and save these details of my life for someone who is genuinely interested in hearing them.

At the end of a comic book—whether Marvel or DC—you can see ads from businesses selling their wares. Probably the most well known joke ad was the one trying to sell you on buying your very own X-ray glasses. The price was low enough for a child to afford, and while I never actually sent my money by mail to acquire them, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to own some.

I couldn’t begin to imagine how kickass it would be – like a super power. What would be the first thing you would do? There are practical medical applications for X-ray vision; it would save you the trouble of a visit to the hospital. When searching for buried treasure, you wouldn’t need a map showing you where “X marks the spot,” although it would still help.

Now, as you read this article, you might be asking yourself: “But what about the real reason X-ray glasses are desirable?” I’ll admit that if X-ray glasses were real I’d love to go do some gawking. However, being a man of science, I know that wouldn’t work.

X-rays would only reveal sexy skeletons.

Alpha-ray glasses are where the future of spectacles is heading.

What’s the best way to turn a picture of a black and white kitty into a ferocious evil storm of bitterness, stupidity, swear words, and bad feelings? Post it on Facebook!

Nothing deteriorates and polarizes arguments like a comment thread. Things can go from a-okay to BAT SHIT CRAZY in a hop, jump and a skip. And I’m talking about a black and white kitty here. Post a picture of Miley Cyrus and things go much, much faster.

Ever wanted to know what concoction creates the perfect thread? Anonymity and hot-button issues are a good base mixture.

By anonymity, I mean the lack of face-to-face rather than the anonymity of name. Add in a few stupid people, a few people who care too much, a few trolls, and BOOM! It’s like the sun exploded.

There’s a bin in the foyer of my apartment building labelled: “Junk mail only, please.”

When I moved in, I didn’t anticipate how much I would be using it.

I receive a consistent amount of junk mail in my tiny mailbox. I don’t even look at it – it goes straight in the bin. It drives me crazy – it’s such a waste of paper and energy.

So when I went on holiday this summer, I left a note in my mailbox: “On vacation. No junk mail, please.” I was gone for a month, and when I returned, I was dismayed to notice that a corner of shiny advertisement paper was escaping the door of my mailbox.

The box was stuffed—and I mean stuffed—full of junk mail.

You know when you cram a bunch of stuff which under normal circumstances shouldn’t fit into the closet or the trunk of the car or under the bed? Then when you go to take something out it all falls on you? That is how full my mailbox was. And it was all junk mail, with the exception of a tiny recipe card at the very bottom – my note.

I can already see this is going to be a major pet peeve for me.

The mailbox is for mail, not for garbage.

Ban on religious symbols contradicts Canadian ideals TAYLOR BRECKLES

CONTRIBUTOR

Quebec Premier Pauline Marois has proposed new legislation that strives to strike out religious paraphernalia in the civic workplace. This legislation, the Charter of Quebec Values, would ban religious symbols such as veils, turbans, and yarmulkes from being worn in any place that receives public funding, according to the Toronto Star. Working Canadians in hospitals, government offices, and schools—among others—would have to relinquish the items that represent their beliefs.

One question comes to mind: why? There has never been the slightest indication that religious materials alone alter work ethic.

This possible change has put all minorities on alert; there is no harm done to the believers of the most popular religion, as they are “permitted to wear crosses, as long as they aren’t too large,” an exception described as “Putinesque” by The Globe and Mail.

The exceptions don’t stop there.

The crucifix in the National Assembly would remain where it is,

despite clearly being a religious symbol. It is considered a “historical artifact,” and therefore would be allowed to remain. Not for religious reasons, of course. The Globe and Mail also recollected how Mr. Taylor, co-chair of a Quebec commission, had advocated the removal of the crucifix only to be shut down “unanimously” due to “deep” attachment from the people. This religious symbol will not cause a ruckus within minority communities either, correct?

According to Marois, this charter will help bring Quebec together instead of driving it apart; however there are unfair exceptions. Marois thinks of this charter as similar to Bill 101, the legislation intended to protect the French language, in its good intention. The charter will also affirm the equality of men and women, and reflect Quebec’s values as well as universal values, states Marois. But what are Quebec’s values? How do they differentiate from universal values?

Quebec’s immigration website states that Quebec “welcomes immigrants from the four corners of the earth,” including their “knowhow, skills, language, culture and

Image: Wikicommons

The Charter of Quebec Values would ban visible signs of religion from civic workers. religion.” If this statement is correct, then how is Marois protecting these values by changing the ability of immigrants to express their cultures? She’s simply not.

Canada is supposed to be a welcoming country that accommodates minorities and does not demonstrate prejudice; immigrants from all over the world have found solace in the religious freedoms of our country. They deserve to have these liberties maintained instead

of being forced to check their religions at the door.

As a country, we are supposed to be moving forward. We are supposed to be introducing new ideas, not old ones. We are not supposed to be moving back into times of prejudice, forcing minorities to relinquish their beliefs, rights, or jobs.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper stated in a Toronto news conference that “our job [as Canadians]

is making all groups who come to this country, whatever their background, whatever their race, whatever their ethnicity, whatever their religion, feel at home in this country and be Canadians. That’s our job.”

Based on this description, those in favour of this legislation are not doing their job.

6

OPINION

OPINION

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

The politics of chemical warfare

www.ufvcascade.ca

NADINE MOEDT

THE CASCADE

An estimated 1,429 civilians are dead in Syria, among them 427 children. Horrifying YouTube videos show lines of unscathed bodies, all killed in an alleged chemical attack.

First reactions leaned towards moral outrage. Secretary of State John Kerry has declared that the United States has a obligation to intervene; it is an “obscenity,” and a “crime against conscience.” UK Prime Minister David Cameron calls the events “morally indefensible.”

Obama spoke of chemical weapons use being a “red line” in Syria last August. With this comment he put himself in a difficult position; the line has now been crossed in an “inexcusable” way (previous knowledge of smaller scale chemical attacks has been noted, but mostly ignored), and now the Obama administration must act to save its own verbal credibility.

In Secretary of State John Kerry’s recent speech, he declares the intention to intervene without waiting for the UN investigation into the deaths to come to a close. The report “will not confirm who used these chemical weapons,” he states, but “will only affirm whether such weapons were used.”

Acting through the UN is a futile path; China and Russia, both of whom have veto power in the Security Council, will not allow action against Syria. Both have interests in the region.

The action would not be akin to another Afghanistan or Iraq, Kerry says.

“It will not involve any boots on the ground. It will not be open-

Image: United Nations Geneva /Flickr

The U.N. has warned that a punitive strike on Syria without approval would be considered illegal. ended. And it will not assume responsibility for a civil war that is already well under way.”

The question is simple. Why now? What is the purpose of an intervention at this point in Syria’s conflict? It seems fairly obvious that it is not about the lives of Syrian innocents; with refugees fleeing by the thousands and a death count of over 100,000, the moment for that has long since passed.

A simple explanation would be that to punish Syria for using chemical warfare would be a deterrent to others. Regulate war, we reason. But as Al Jazeera’s Rachel Shabi points out, this is not a consistent thought. There was no red line present in 2008, when Israel deployed white phosphorus in Gaza, and there was no red line when the US used depleted-uranium ammunition in Fallujah, Iraq. Where was the moral outrage then?

The latest talk of military pun-

ishment would involve a “surgical” airstrike, according to Al Jazeera. Several objections from this relatively ignorant outsider spring to mind. A “surgical” airstrike is a ludicrous term, for one. There is nothing surgical about an airstrike.

Who would the US target? What if innocent civilians are caught in the crossfire? If the chemical weapons themselves are the target, wouldn’t a strike simply release the chemicals on whoever resides near it? It feels very one-foot-in, one-foot-out of the US; they want to take selfrighteous action amidst a brutal civil war, but only without putting themselves in the line of fire.

Throw them a bone, throw them a missile.

Secondly, as Shabi notes, the matter of the aftermath has remained entirely unaddressed. Due to the “current, accelerated impetus to strike,” Shabi writes, “there is little thought given to consequences, no

planning for the day after – no political plan at all.” Shabi argues that this proves the Western world is focused on “saving face” rather than “saving lives.”

We need to prove that the West is the civilized party here; as Syria strains under the weight of its own civil war, the US fluffs its moral feathers in an “overwhelming need to prove that the West is the good side.”

The US needs to stop and think about the responsibility we have in Syria. Using a puffed up sense of morality to justify an attack on another country has not worked in the past. The high-minded mission in Iraq has left tens of thousands dead since 2003.

Halla Diyab, spokesperson for the Organisation for Freedom and Democracy in Syria, questions the motives of the US, and criticizes their reactionary decision to get involved:

“What is the objective of the intervention of the West? Is it to get rid of Bashar al-Assad? Or is it to help Syrians to achieve democracy and freedom? Or is just because Bashar al-Assad has used chemical weapons? There should be [an] investigation and tangible evidence that the regime has used chemical weapons; [they should] not base their claims on YouTube videos that have not been verified.”

So how to proceed? It’s a squirrely sort of situation. On one hand, no one can be expected to stand by and watch as children and civilians are slaughtered. On the other hand, we’ve been doing that since day one of this civil war.

U.N. Secretary-General Ban Kimoon has declared that any punitive strike against Syria would be considered illegal in the eyes of the U.N. without the approval of the Security Council. Ban warned in a news conference that a strike could simply create more “turmoil and bloodshed” in Syria, according to The Province.

It is ironically immoral for the US to go ahead and use their moral posturing to perform an airstrike on Syria. A moral international response does not involve antagonising the UN. As Shabi questions, how could a humanitarian response be coordinated for refugees without the support of neighboring countries? It is nothing short of “diplomatically rude.”

We have to remember that our western inflated sense of self—our democratic ideals and regulations on war—cannot be forced on anyone. As a first step to any sort of intervention, we must seriously rethink our responsibility in the Middle East.

Topless shouldn’t be Trudeau smoked pot? Big Deal. shocking ASHLEY MUSSBACHER

SASHA MOEDT

THE CASCADE

Women readers, would you ever dream of walking down the street topless? For most, it sounds a bit like a nightmare. And men, what would your reaction be?

August 25 is International Topless Day, and this year Vancouver activists demonstrated on the street topless. They were met by hordes of journalists, supporters and—of course—oglers. It certainly brought up a discussion online about whether these women’s efforts were effective. Are these women brave feminists drawing attention to an oppressive social taboo, classless sluts trying to get attention or somewhere in between?

The derogatory labels bounced around like evil bunny rabbits, but the fact that such heated discussions presided after the protests is a good thing.

It’s legal in BC to go bare-breasted for both genders. These women were protesting the taboo. Imagine walking down the street topless.

Picture strangers’ faces, of men, women, and sure, toss in a preteen boy as they pass by. What do you feel and see?

You would be ogled and insulted

by passersby. You would be uncomfortable, and yes, you’d probably feel threatened and harassed.

You’d be labelled a “slut” with no class or self-respect. Which, of course, is extremely sexist thinking; what a woman does with her body is her own business. But defining a woman’s personality and moral values by her appearance is all too common.

Breasts are not sexual organs, but they’ve become so in western eyes.

At one point in our history, legs had the very same taboo. A woman who exposed her ankle was considered risqué. As a culture, we have this love of body-shame.

But how can we rid ourselves of this taboo? We have the law on our side. If only women were not harassed—and then blamed for being harassed—because of what we wear. If only the question of how the woman was dressed wasn’t a factor in a rape case.

It would be nice to have a choice to make, but, though it’s our legal right, that doesn’t seem to exist.

Social taboos, however wrong and backward they might be, are sometimes more powerful than the law.

But the best way to enjoy a right is to exercise it, and these demonstrations are a start.

CONTRIBUTOR

I don’t care if Harper has a sports fantasy league with his buddies. I wouldn’t care if Mulcair enjoys midnight skinny-dipping. So why would I care if Trudeau smoked pot at a party one night?

It’s not that surprising that a 41-year-old man smoked a joint with his friends, politician or not.

He says he’s smoked pot five times in his life. Big deal. The Liberal leader claims he’s an open book, and so far he’s lived up to that expectation. I’m surprised he hasn’t admitted to worse.

Of course people rant about marijuana being illegal, going so far as to say that he should be removed from office. That if he cannot uphold the laws of Canada, why have an oath of office at all? Well, fine then. Remove him from office for breaking the law. And while you’re at it, you might as well clean house.

The Parliament building will be awfully empty when you’re done.

So, the question right now is whether Trudeau has made a mistake. I would say not. He’s playing the game, and playing it well. The popular perception of a politician is someone who is cynical, and who puts on a façade. Trudeau’s openness is winning over many

Image: Justin Trudeau / Flickr

Let’s focus on politics and not recreational activities, shall we?

Canadians.

In an interview about Trudeau’s pot-smoking confession, George Takei tells Global News that such honesty and forthrightness can be Trudeau’s signature. He also says that “laws need to change to fit the times.”

It would be much different if Trudeau was caught drunk driving, but the act of having a drag of a joint doesn’t affect anyone but the user. And I highly doubt he

Have an opinion about something? Share it with us.

was passing it around to underage youth.

I do care that Trudeau admitted to smoking pot. He respects individual choice, and I admire that.

It gets tiring and frustrating when MPs claim they know what’s good for people, and resort to telling us how to behave. There’s only one person who can tell me what to do and get away with it – my grandmother.

Send your comments and questions to editor@ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

7

OPINION

So what did you do this summer?

Feel like sharing your short-andsweet opinion? Keep an eye out for our whiteboard-toting pollsters roaming the halls.

8

ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013

Moving in and getting oriented

www.ufvcascade.ca

A new crop of students hits UFV, but not without more than a little help

image: Taylor Cunningham

The seven Resident Assistants. Left to right– Anish Bahri, Riley Rempel, Kayla Klim, Lauren Dallow, Dan Uter, Dustin Anderlini, Sean Webber.

image: Taylor Cunningham

Volleyball player Mallory Donen transports soccer goaltender Kayla Klim and Baker House RA Riley Rempel.

From Baker House to home: community in the making KEITH MORDEN

CONTRIBUTOR

When you look over at Baker House, you might think of it as just another college dorm: sleeplessness, depravity, cheap carbs, and freshman angst.

But on August 28 Baker House was a welcome sight to both new and returning UFV students. No matter what their expectations, each student was greeted with sincere smiles and the encouraging help of volunteers.

Becoming accustomed to the new setting of Baker House can be daunting for any first-year.

That is why Residence Services organizes an annual “Baker House Move-In.” Junelle Mah, one of the main coordinators, was there all day making sure everything went smoothly.

“It’s all about creating an inclusive community,” Mah said of the move-in.

Bringing previous students

to help with the event gives the sense that people moving into Baker House are part of a bigger community: the interaction fosters a warm environment for students, which ultimately helps with their transition to university.

Probably one of the most shocking things Mah has heard from a student moving into Baker House was, “Do people living in residency even graduate?”

Taken aback by the question, she has started to spread the message that Baker House is not a frat house; Residence Services staff work hard to maintain a safe living environment in which students can study and still enjoy themselves. People moving into Baker House might have an inaccurate view about what student life is like in residence, but it’s nothing like the movie Old School.

Most of the volunteers during the move-in are UFV varsity athletes. The student athletes lend a helping hand and share words of wisdom, explaining to newcom-

ers about their participation in one of UFV’s six sports programs: rowing, basketball, soccer, volleyball, golf, or cheerleading. This all contributes to an inclusive community for new students, who will hopefully feel inspired to cheer on their Cascades during the semester at the Envision Athletic Centre across the parking lot.

Of course, Mah couldn’t run Baker House by herself. The people working with Residence Services are a group of highly motivated individuals that tend to any and all issues as they arise.

A large benefit to residents is the high staff to student ratio in Baker House. Having 202 students living in residence this year makes for a challenge; however, Residence Services works well with SUS and with Student Life to plan events and ensure the school semester will be more than just a mountain of homework.

image: Taylor Cunningham

Kristianne Hendricks of SUS and Cascades volleyball player Adam Chaplin help a resident move in.

New students find their feet: UFV Orientation in the rain

NADINE MOEDT THE CASCADE

Student ambassadors’/mentors’ spirits were not dampened by the heavy rain outdoors

image: Taylor Cunningham

A steady downpour of rain kept the campus grounds rather quiet this past Thursday as new students and Student Life ambassadors retreated to the Envision Athletic Centre for their orientation. Following a student ambassador-led tour, where new students were told the ins and outs of campus goings-on, outdoor tents were abandoned and booths advertising all UFV has to offer were set up in the small gym, festively adorned with posters, balloons, and the occasional sombrero.

Shaun Darcy, a student life ambassador since 2009, reported that the rain didn’t dampen the occasion.

“I think it’s going absolutely awesomely. The enthusiasm

around here has just been incredible. The new students have been great; they’ve been asking questions, they’ve been wanting to know different things [about UFV].

It’s really awesome. “ The booths promoted everything from student groups to different departments at UFV. Each booth did their best to lure the new students into their respective interest: candy was set out, an understandably awkward game of twister was in play, and the gym was subjected to the loud bursting of balloons coming from the educational advising booth.

Later on the new students were herded back into the main gym, where prizes as rad as an iPad were given to participants.

Student life reports that over 900 new students attended the orientation.

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ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Dine & Dash

Sushiwa fection. It came out on a sizzling pan with the skin on. The sauce was full of flavour, sweet and tangy. The bed was not overloaded with bean sprouts (which is a nice change).

To top things off, if you aren’t already full, you soon will be, because dessert is provided on the house. Banana with caramelized sugar. Sweet and free!

All in all, while the sitting space was cramped and socially awkward, the décor was tasteful and the food was absolutely delicious.

I can say it easily ranks within my top three best Japanese restaurants in Abbotsford for cleanliness, affordability and friendly, efficient staff.

#4-32750 George Ferguson Way Abbotsford, BC Hours: 11:30 - 9:00 (Tues - Fri), 1:00 - 9:00 (Sat), closed Monday and Sunday

ASHLEY MUSSBACHER Contributor

I’m always skeptical walking into a nicely decorated Japanese restaurant. Not because I think a Japanese restaurant should look like a run-down hole-in-the-wall, but because I fear a lot of the budget goes towards a good-looking front, rather than good-tasting food.

Sushiwa sets a nice first impression with its brightly lit sign, faux wood flooring, and tasteful décor.

A fountain bubbles away in a corner right where you walk in and soft instrumental music plays in the background (the Zelda theme, to be exact – total win).

The restaurant is a tiny room with the tables packed closely together. But regardless of its size, the restaurant was packed with people. I noticed while looking at the menu that the prices weren’t too expensive, but they are not the cheapest either. I also noticed that Sushiwa offers tempura by piece instead of by plate. So people like me with a low tolerance to deepfried foods can order just one yam tempura piece at a time. Loved that!

image: Ashley Mussbacher

Sushiwa sets itself apart from the crowd of Abbotsford’s sushi bars with a perfectly executed chicken teriyaki.

There were only the chef and one waitress, but our orders were taken in a timely fashion. The food arrived within a 20-minute window. As a huge lover of exotic foods, I’ve been brave enough to try almost everything on a Japanese menu.

I typically gauge how good a Japanese restaurant is based on a few key notes: how much mayo is in the California rolls (less is best), how fatty is the salmon (fatty means it’s the cheap farmed fish), how salty is the miso soup (low sodium is better), is the seaweed

thick and chewy or thin and crispy (thin and crispy is nice for cones), and can I taste the vinegar in the rice (if I can, there’s a good chance the chef doesn’t measure ingredients, or thinks our taste buds are dead).

I was extremely impressed by not only the flavour but the presentation of everything I ordered.

The rolls weren’t huge, but they included more filling than rice.

The miso soup was delicious, with little salt. The ingredients were fresh and colourful. Most of all, the teriyaki chicken was done to per-

image: Ashley Mussbacher

Banana with carmelized sugar for dessert bookends the meal nicely.

Book Review

Pale Queen’s Courtyard by Marcin Wrona ANTHONY BIONDI THE CASCADE

I have always been a lover and a hater of the fantasy genre. I love it for its creativity, but so often I come across fantasy novels filled with the same themes, worlds, ideas and overall tropes. As glorious as The Lord of the Rings was, its imitators leave me with a dry and pasty taste in my mouth, like I just shoved in a spoonful of raw flour.

Still, I wound up succumbing to the alluring cover of Pale Queen’s Courtyard by Marcin Wrona in the Kindle shop. First of all, this novel is almost a work of historical fiction. It may carry a fantasy setting, but it is largely based on ancient Ethiopia. I have read historical fantasy (such as Guy Gavriel Kay, whom I highly recommend) before, so I was not unfamiliar with the style and approach of this novel. It is not a standard fantasy novel by a long shot.

The title of the novel, Pale Queen’s Courtyard, gives an eloquent air to the novel, as if it is filled with all sorts of flowery thoughts and lovely imagery. The title is beautifully deceptive. Though the novel, most times, is beautiful and poetic in its writing, it is not a happy story.

Wrona definitely delivers an experience filled with both beauty and brutality; I found myself surprised at how sinister the novel is. It was never gory or violent, but it held elements of terror and darkness. It felt like the kind of gruesome story

we tell children to curb their behaviour or keep them out of alleys at night. As in a fairytale or myth, Pale Queen’s Courtyard is filled with both glory and a seeping darkness.

Wrona is an artist who values a story that cannot be predicted.

I give you this advice: don’t be fooled by the direction of the plot.

The story has two chief points of view: a smarmy fellow named Leonine introduced in the opening scenes and a young temple soldier named Kamvar. Their adventures, naturally, lead to a mutual conclusion, but their individual stories seem very different in tone. Leonine is a thief and sorcerer trying to make a living while hiding from the brutality of his past, and Kamvar is a soldier hunting down sor-

cerers for the glory of his god.

The novel tends to play with typical fantasy ideas: a guild of thieves, a rebellion, sorcery. There were a few moments in the novel where I found myself preparing to roll my eyes. However, the roll never came to fruition. I expected the story to be about an overthrown kingdom trying to destroy its conquerors via a small band of rebels who hire society’s outcasts, giving them a chance to redeem themselves.

Plots like that give me that unsatisfied feeling Lay’s chips might bring after a snack binge. Time wasted. Another boring plot. But this was not the case. Frequently I was surprised at what I was reading. Never once did the story travel down the road I thought it would.

If you need to be given an explanation for what everything is and why it is that way, this is not the novel for you. From the moment that Pale Queen’s Courtyard begins, it immerses you. There is no assumption of knowledge from the reader, and no in-your-face explanation of anything cultural. It was entirely unforgiving. No excuses.

Just story. It was fantastic.

All the cues for understanding are in context, a clever mind will pick them up by the second or third chapter.

The only drawback the novel had from the get-go was the flood of characters. From the opening scene to the conclusion of the second chapter I was introduced to more than just a handful of charac-

ters, and many persisted throughout the novel. This was the most difficult thing to swallow. I have a hard enough time remembering my classmates’ names, much less a motley bunch of characters I am just getting to know. The confusion is short-lived due in part to the characters’ continued roles in following chapters. However, in the first few moments of the novel, it is hard to decide who is important and who is not; because of that, it becomes difficult to decide who you need to connect with as a reader.

I felt a much stronger connection to Leonine than I did to Kamvar. The thief’s story led him down countless roads of hardship, but even at the worst of times he had a cheery air about him that always made me enjoy reading his chapters.

When he finds a young girl-sorcerer (who is also one of the chief characters of the novel) he brings her into his unfortunate life and they make a wonderful yet disastrous pair. Some of my favorite moments in this novel involved these two, and their desperate struggle for survival.

However, when it came down to Kamvar’s group in the hunting party, I felt detached. It concerned me more when Kamvar became the main character of the novel.

His chapters were filled with flat and uninteresting characters and predictable problems. Conflicts were introduced through lengthy exposition and struggles of reli-

gious faith didn’t ring true. All of the religious conflict was between Kamvar and his best friend, Tahmin. When dialogue arose between them, it became difficult to distinguish who was whom. Up until the closing of the novel, Tahmin was nothing but a flat persona for Kamvar to use as a way to present his own religious struggle. Worst of all, Kamvar’s struggle was typical: a man on a religious hunt beginning to question his faith and whether he was doing the right thing. The only life breathed into Kamvar is when he was interacting with the unlikely ally recruited for the hunt, a man named Akosh.

Overall, I felt Akosh was a much rounder character with a full history and clear experience behind his decisions. This left this arc of the story feeling lop-sided. I still enjoyed it, but sparingly so.

Overall, this tale is one of momentum. Though at the beginning it may seem a little two-dimensional, it quickly picks up speed, and before long, pages are flying by.

In the end, Pale Queen’s Courtyard toys with tropes but never once let them feel old. The rebellion existed, but it was never the focus of the novel. The thief guild was just an illusion, and the sorcery felt invigorating and exciting. Though some of its characters may have felt flat at times, it carried itself with the elegance of a tale told by firelight to a drum beat and song.

10

ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Album Review

Avenged Sevenfold – Hail to the King

TAYLOR BRECKLES Contributor

Mini Album Reviews

SoundBites

Avenged Sevenfold, often the introduction to metal for many fans, recently released its newest album Hail to the King. This is the band’s sixth studio album and the first that features Arin Ilejay as their drummer, replacing beloved former drummer, Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan.

Based on YouTube commentaries and speaking with other fans, listeners are diverse in their opinions of this album.

Some are willing to give Ilejay a chance to prove himself as a competent drummer, but many fans automatically dislike the change.

Every drummer has a unique style, but Ilejay blends in nicely with the classic Avenged Sevenfold feel, though the drumming quality does not match that of thei band’s fifth studio album Nightmare, for

Alan Charlebois Laced

Franz Ferdinand Right Thoughts, Right Words, Right Action

which Mike Portnoy, the drummer for Dream Theater, provided the sounds. But the drumming does not deter from the original sound of the band.

The desired sound conceived for Hail to the King, however, is meant to be different from how Nightmare turned out. In an interview with Metal Hammer, lead singer M. Shadows stated that Hail to the King is more of a classic rock and classic metal album.

Rhythm guitarist Zacky Vengeance joined in on the commentary for the album, saying in an interview with Ultimate Guitar that the band “styled everything back and went to the core of heavy metal instead of trying to overcomplicate it.”

While the band has evolved over the course of their careers, the sources of their inspiration can be heard throughout their albums, particularly in Hail to the King.

The repetitive beat of the first

and second songs on the album, “Shepherd of Fire” and “Hail to the King,” are reminiscent of fellow metal band Pantera, though it also bears some of Avenged Sevenfold’s own characteristics.

As the album progresses, however, the music differentiates into more of a classic feel. This turn is most noticeable after the fifth song, “Requiem,” which stands out in the album. It sounds like what would have been featured on Nightmare with its gentle speed yet doesn’t lack a metal spirit. The wonderful imagery created from the Latin chants and lyrics accompanied by the melody in “Requiem” and “Crimson Day” demonstrate how the band has evolved over the years. The band’s hopes for this album have been fully met, a different but welcome addition to the Avenged Sevenfold collection.

Sarah Neufeld Hero Brother

Cale Sampson The Big Picture

Laced lulls us back into the style of classic rock. With powerful smoky vocals and the occasional guitar solo, it gives more than series of simple power chords. The debut album of musician Alan Charlebois, Laced is a showcase of talent reminiscent at times of the Red Hot Chili Peppers or the Eagles classic, Hotel California – if not in profound lyrics then at least in musical style. Unfortunately, while the skill seems to be there, many of the songs fall into mediocre chord progressions, never quite rising up to classic rock predecessors. While the quick tempo songs “Manic Fire” and “Pillow Tricks” provide powerful, solid rock endings, most of the songs bob along on waves that never quite peak. Yet, perhaps ironically, it seems the soft lull of the music also draws one in, like the ebb and flow of the tide. With mostly slower tempos, the album is like a nostalgic rock lullaby. It ends softly with a wistful acoustic ballad, “Through the Night,” softening Charlebois’ gruff rock voice. Laced doesn’t exactly leap off its gentle waves but nor does it crash and sink. Instead it holds a soft soulful reminiscence of bygone times for those seeking it.

After taking a four-year hiatus from recording, Franz Ferdinand has returned to record its fourth studio album Right Thoughts, Right Words, Right Action. The new record contains grittier and more focused tracks than those on the band’s last outing, Tonight: Franz Ferdinand. Channelling the pulsating and youthful elements of their first two records, Right Thoughts manages to keep the record vibrant while still infusing the dance-floor sleaze that enveloped most of Tonight.

Side A of Right Thoughts successfully evokes the band’s bread-and-butter love for danceable romps, while side B contains more nuanced lyrics and well-crafted tracks that present a fresh trend for any forthcoming Franz Ferdinand records. Beyond the fast-paced, Buzzcocks-inspired “Bullets,” the airy and midtempo “Fresh Strawberries” pokes fun at fellow “ripe turning riper” indie buzz bands of the early 2000s that have turned out “rotten,” a cruel cycle that Franz Ferdinand has managed to avoid by only releasing two albums in the past eight years. Clocking in at around 35 minutes, this 10 song record is considered short for the amount of time between studio recordings, but the material is consistent and good enough for fans to forgive the below-average quota of nine minutes of new material per year the band has set for itself.

The double bind of Sarah Neufeld’s Hero Brother is that, while her debut album is likely to be hit by a wider cast of attention because of the connection of Neufeld’s violin work with other bands (Arcade Fire looms largest), the ten tracks here deserve the light of appraisal apart from any supposed heavy connection. Hero Brother is wordless composition, ten tracks that play best as an album, but can be extracted from the whole: “Dirt” is Neufeld’s approach distilled – lilting dread that transitions into duelling note patterns before exiting in wrenching disharmony. Neufeld’s violin plays mostly on its own as if to lightless outer space, but this approach is counterbalanced by the vivid, restless variations within each piece, most energetically in the title track and “Sprinter Fire,” not stationary settings but moving images that, if a more popular reference point existed, might be halfway between the electronic slow burn of Kieran Hebden and the sci-fi orchestra of Bear McCreary. Neufeld’s vocals enter sparingly, on the percussive “They Live On” and the end of the “Wrong Thought” / ”Right Thought” diptych, but Hero Brother is not cluttered by words, instead seized with atypical rhythms.

My biggest beef with this album is the genre. It’s rap—which is fine—but Sampson has taken the step of placing himself in a subcategory, which he claims to have invented: info-rap.

What does this mean for the listener?

The focus is on the information he rushes to impart to his listener, and the subtleties of rhythm and meter fall by the wayside. Rhythm is something I treasure dearly in rap, and while you can sometimes stretch syllables out or compress them together to make the lengths of the lines match, it’s not a technique that should be relied on.

This too would be forgivable if the content of the songs was of a high enough calibre to make up for it. Unfortunately for Sampson, this is not the case. His attempt to expose the workings behind the economic collapse of 2008 is just a tired retelling of information that can be found in a variety of documentaries and conspiracy theory websites. While I enjoyed at least one song (“Jaime’s Song,” which reaches into the personal passion that we long for the entire album), I just can’t stop resenting the fact that I was lectured at for the whole album – and I suspect other listeners will probably feel the same.

Griffy Vigneron

TIM UBELS

mICHAEL SCOULAR

DESSA BAYROCK

Do you love listening to new music? Would you like to interview artists or bands?

Maybe you should come write for the Arts section.

The next Cascade writers’ meeting is Monday, September 9 at 10 a.m. in C1027 on the Abbotsford campus.

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ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Theatre Review

The puppets of Avenue Q come to Vancouver CHARTS

1 2

Cascadia Level Trust

Bertha Cool/ Hemogoblin Bertha Cool/Hemogoblin Split

3 4

Open Letters 1-6

Deltron 3030 City Rising From The Ashes

5

Shad & Skratch Bastid The Spring Up

6

METZ Dirty Shirt b/w Leave Me Out

7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Cellos The Accident The Sweet Lowdown May Lié Lié The Civil Wars The Civil Wars

Koban Null Dead Soft Teen Fiction The Brains The Monster Within Zachary Lucky Ballad of Losing You

Shannon Graham & The Story Tellers s/t

16 17 18

Sarah Neufeld Hero Brother Jane’s Party Hot Noise The Mandates The Mandates

Shuffle MUHAMMED SISSOHO CIVL DJ

Muhammed Sissoho will be hosting a hip-hop/international music show on CIVL coming soon this fall semester. Expect the best of music from around the globe or your money back!

Mark Morrison ft. DMX – “Innocent Man” DMX has been fighting with the law against various charges but he says in one of his latest songs (“Innocent Man”) that getting arrested does not make him guilty. Will this song convince DMX fans around the world that he is a changed man or set another landmark in his career as a unique artist?

Nas & Damian Marley – “Patience “ Nas and Damian went all the way in on the smartest dummies who can’t read the language of Egyptian mummies and fly to the moon but can’t find food for the starving tummies. They do not pay attention to the needs of the youths because it is not like the future depends on it but rather save animals in the zoo because the chimpanzees make big money. Nas goes hard with the truth being fed to the people, asking “Who wrote the Bible? Who wrote the Qur’an?

And was it a lightning storm that gave birth to the Earth and then dinosaurs were born? Damn who made up words? Who made up numbers? And what kind of spell is mankind under?” The lyrical content of this content is deep and asks a lot of vital questions that need urgent answer.

Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko – “Stay“ With just piano as the beat of the song, Rihanna and Mikky Ekko use their strong vocals and melody to tie in this moving piece of art that speaks about going round and round in a relationship. What they really want is for their partner to stay even thought times are not favorable!

2Pac Ft T.I. and Ashanti – “Pac’s Life” Everybody talks about Tupac’s life if you are into hiphop, but this song asks us what we actually know about Tupac’s life. Google it!

Tupac, in his own words, wants in on the good life with fine wine, to dine with the beautiful ladies and fancy cars, but this is not what he is all about. He advocates for people to be real to themselves so they can be real to others. At the end of the day you are never disappointed by his music unless he intended it.

Avenue Q‘s current run in Vancouver plays until September 14.

Runtime is two hours, 15 minutes with one intermission.

NIAL HARRISON-MORRY Contributor

Avenue Q took the stage this summer and its stay has been extended into the fall at the Granville Arts Club with puppets and music that adults who grew up with Sesame Street and The Muppets will love.

Avenue Q is a play about life as a twenty-something fresh out of college, broke and thinking “now what?” The opening number is reminiscent of the theme from The Muppets, or some other sort of kids’ TV show, but speaks about the daily grind of working a low-paying job. The opening segues directly into “What do you do with a B.A. in English” which introduces the main character, Princeton, and outlines the central dilemma for this show: after years of post-secondary education, with no money and no marketable skills, what do you do?

The answer seems to be that you find a cheap place to live and try to figure out your life without falling behind on your bills.

As bad as this situation is, there is always someone whose life sucks more than yours – as we learn with the musical number “It Sucks To Be Me”.

The script is beautifully written, with subtle references to related works like Sesame Street and Rent. The dialogue is witty with an oddball, almost puckish sense of humour, and it deals with several social issues of surprising gravitas (“Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist”) with great aplomb, sensitivity, and honesty – which makes it a surprisingly good comparison to Sesame Street for adults; it’s educational and very entertaining. The sex scene (because the puppets lack anything below the waist) is funny, enjoyable, sexy, and enthusiastic all at the same

time, without for a second losing their innocent mien or the graphic nature of the proceedings. Their neighbors even participate and shout out advice, and no one is offended because they’re puppets, which lends a sort of innocence to the whole raunchy song (“You Can Be As Loud As the Hell You Want When You’re Makin’ Love”).

One of my favourite things about this show is that it is current. So many shows are reproductions of great classics from the past or period pieces that I find it refreshing to see a show which needs no explanation or knowledge of history. This show is bright, fresh, and none of the references or social mores need to be explained because it is set in the here and now (-ish. We are, after all, talking about a musical mostly populated by puppets).

The staging of Avenue Q is unique in that the puppeteers are acting as much as the regular actors, with just as much physicality and facial expression, in addition to operating a puppet. After a few minutes of watching the show, the imagination takes over, filling in the spaces between them until you can’t really see the difference between the puppets and their operators; all you focus on are the puppet characters, but they still have the actors behind them, providing subtleties of non-verbal communication a puppet cannot.

The use of puppetry and regular actors allows for operatic-style casting, where the voice is the primary determining factor, not physical appearance, and it paid off: the live music was of such wonderful quality that I couldn’t tell if it was live or recorded. The only reason I knew the show wasn’t entirely recorded was because I could see the musicians playing and the actors singing throughout the show.

The subtlety, execution, and aptness of the technical designs for the show were all (with minor exceptions) very well done. Because Avenue Q is set in a fictional

area of New York where the rent is extremely cheap, you can see all the detritus that normally accumulates in such neighborhoods: injection needles, cigarette butts, garbage and old newspapers, worn-down curbs, and a broken light fixture which has been neither replaced nor repaired.

Another interesting (and well done) facet of this performance is the wonderful integration of video and stage craft. At the start of the show, the preshow speech is a projected video (two screens, one in each of the upper right and left corners of the prosceneum, respectively) which segues naturally into the opening song and distracts attention from the stage until it is time for the live performers to take over.

This greatly facilitates the magic of theatre, because the audience is distracted while the lights change and cast and crew get into position. Throughout the show, there are various apt supporting uses for the projection; when Lucy is in hospital, her heartbeat is shown on the screens. Intermission is announced in the same way as the preshow speech and at the end of the show there are production credits, just like you might find in a movie, which play as the audience leaves the theatre. Unfortunately, this makes some pages of the program somewhat superfluous.

Avenue Q is what cartoons would be like if they were real life, and the quirky, dirty, oddball humor is wonderful. The audience gets all the brutal realities of real life, except the rough edges have been smoothed away through the use of puppetry, which allows the show to include graphic sexual content and a surprisingly frank discussion on racism. Despite the deceptively innocent appearance of Avenue Q, it is definitely a show intended for an adult audience – the number of sexual positions used onstage is ample proof of that.

12

ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Film Review

The Grandmaster MICHAEL SCOULAR THE CASCADE

Fred Astaire famously demanded that all his dance numbers be shot in a single take at a distance that allowed for his entire body to be visible within the frame, a cinematic idea of purity and truth – it could not cheat, and it showed everything brilliantly. The fight scenes in Wong Kar-wai’s The Grandmaster might as well be dance scenes, more footwork and deflection than broken bones, but this becomes noticeable only over time. Wong’s picture of a transitionary period is broken into pieces, and his aesthetic has always been one of staggered rhythms, framerates, and overmatched, smeared colours. There is still a truth to what Wong shows, but it never settles easily, and never shows everything.

The Grandmaster begins through a disorienting slow build, showing an initial meeting and challenge between the divided sides of Chinese martial arts (the North and the South), before zooming backward through the stages of learning and observance of various styles by Wing Chun practitioner Ye Wen (Tony Leung). Wong does this without differentiating between timeframes—the past and further past look the same—or leaving much room for the audience to catch up to the weight of history – significant and insignificant moments pass in word and action with a similar sense of ritual and gravity.

Some of this is due to the alterations made to Wong’s film for North American release, but most of the images between the different versions of The Grandmaster are the same: blurs of motion become im-

mediate effects on architecture, a brief stop of held breath and words loaded with poetic density, before the likelihood of an eruption of combat becomes a certainty again.

For most of the first two thirds of The Grandmaster, hardly five minutes seem to go by between fights, and characters do not have dialogue but sayings plucked from things ancestors and legends said, used as a common tongue between former and eventual combatants.

This stop-start, everything-magnified nature threatens to exhaust if taken as the hero’s journey narrative the North American cut wants the movie to be, but is more palatable when the desire to know everything about each event and decision is let go in favour of the series of short stories Wong’s fractured tale comes across as, each ending in a snapshot of faded photographic tableau.

Contradicting the saying that suggests those who dwell on the past are unhappiest and their best selves are the ones that look to the future, in a Wong Kar-wai film every timeframe resonates with longing covered in bitterness, briefly touched by romanticism. While The Grandmaster isn’t part of the genre, it carries some of the obsessions of the noir mentality: Wong often composes for shadowy faces pushed to the edge of the frame, and weary characters regard their inescapable histories and complicated ones in the making with near-sardonic lack of surprise when not pushed around by tragedy.

The historical angle is emphasized in The Grandmaster to a greater extent than anywhere else in Wong’s films, but the effect isn’t an imposition of fact-based narrative.

Wong’s shaping of mood, spilling

into the air even as action choreography takes over, does away with ideas of linear progression over time, instead the development of kung fu and master-apprentice relations is a messy conflict of generational translation beyond its rules and customs, even as the film seems to exist largely within these confines.

Watching The Grandmaster in its current form is unfortunately not ideal, as between the fact its North American distributor had the film re-cut and that the internet exists, along with similar news from recent Chinese epics (Red Cliff) and upcoming Asian-directed action (Snowpiercer), the knowledge that this is not the way the film was originally meant to be seen is unavoidable. There is something to be said for The Grandmaster’s North American cut still being a version of the film, a unique take

on the same, larger story. But that the bulk of the cuts are to the dramatic weavings of the story is plainly evident, contributing to the wall-of-action opening, but also taking away from a staple of Wong’s films: multiple narrators contributing to a tapestry of personal histories. This only shows up briefly near the end of the North American cut, in a scene involving Gong Er (Zhang Ziyi) – startling in its appearance because of how her perspective has been denied for most of the movie’s course, suggesting another entire length of the film, one without deadened idiosyncracies and insulting concessions to viewers unable to watch but apparently willing to read.

Instead of Wong’s full development, the film’s characters are introduced with an English-language credit, stating their names and titles and often unnecessarily repeating information evident from just listening to dialogue.

Numerous, ad copy-lite historical intertitles take Wong’s film for a slavish biopic, one that sets up a connection to Bruce Lee as if it is a prequel, when in actuality nothing in the film’s images suggests anything so strong – it’s all culled from the hope of brand recognition as a selling point, and repeatedly distracts from what should be a greater film.

Taken together, it’s enough to make swearing off what sounds like a compromise sound like the best way to go, but if anything good can come of this, there is the hope the comparison of the two versions will only reveal the centre of Wong Kar-wai’s cinema further—the Chinese cut is widely available already due to the delay of work on the North American edit—as a work of restoration, but also of breaking down.

Cascade Arcade

Gone Home JEREMY HANNAFORD CONTRIBUTOR

Gone Home is an indie conceptual simulation puzzle game developed by The Fullbright Company. I haven’t played many puzzle games, so I looked over Gone Home with the eyes of a novice.

One of the most impressive attributes about the game is the world it is able to build just within a home. Since your character, Katelyn, has never seen the new house her family moved to while she was gone in Europe for a year, the mystery is enhanced by discovering it all by yourself. The décor really gives off the new creepy home feel.

Furniture half laid out, moving boxes still stacked in cupboards and bedrooms, rooms still only half-furnished.

These aspects build the eerie mystery within the emptiness of the house as you begin to uncover clues related to your younger sister Samantha. These memory objects unlock pieces of her journal left for her older sister. With every piece you find, you uncover more of what happened while you

were gone. The voice acting is stellar in these journals; the emotionally real delivery is the best part of the game. With each piece, this intriguing story grows and really pulls you in. Your sister’s comingof-age confusion, your father’s failed novel series, your mother’s inability to truly address either issue – as the player, you are truly

brought into this family and you feel their struggles and conflicts.

There were many moments when I thought something terrifying was going to happen. With a huge thunderstorm raging outside and the house seemingly abandoned, I kept expecting something to come out and grab me. But the true fear comes from your own

imagination as you struggle to discover what happened while you were gone. The game generates a fear within you as you develop a desire to find out what happened to Samantha.

Since the game takes place in 1994 in Seattle, there are many odd objects you will find that bring back reminiscent memories

of that age: grunge music posters around your sister’s room, collections of mixed audio cassette tapes and even clothing styles. A somber score accompanies Katelyn through her journey through the house. Other tracks provided by bands like Heavens to Betsy, Youngins and Bratmobile all encompass this age of music and selfdiscovery.

Gone Home has a great story going for it and some decent visuals to back it up. There are some repetitive textures and objects here and there, and sometimes the rain patterns on the roof start to repeat, but these don’t damage the game’s overall quality. What may be a deal breaker for some is how quickly you can beat it. I’m not good at puzzle games at all and I was able to beat it in a little over an hour! For $20, that doesn’t seem like a fair deal to me. A single episode of the Walking Dead game was only worth $5 and I could get more game time out of that.

Gone Home has an amazing story but definitely wait until this game goes on sale before you buy it.

13

ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Discussions Below the Belt

The 1-2-3 to losing your virginity VIOLET HART SEXPERT

Of all the firsts in life, there is none as loaded as the first time having sex. It’s funny, really, how it’s treated almost as a mournful, rather than joyful occasion. You will never be a virgin again. So what? You will never be sexless and frustrated, feeling stuck on the outside of some great secret?

Wow, darn. Being a virgin is so much fun.

Yet before the letters start pouring in about the sanctity of the first time not to be glibly wasted etc., etc., don’t misunderstand me. The first time certainly is special and significant, because like your voice breaking or your first period, it marks an important step in your adult maturity.

That said, whether you choose to keep it for the wedding night or a second date, that’s your business.

It’s what you want to make of it, like Christmas: It can be a grand sacred occasion, or a tacky overcommercialized obligation that you half wish was over already.

No matter what your attitude, here are three things to keep in mind about your first time: 1. Relax. If you’re tense and

Image: teleread.com

No matter how you feel about it, losing the V-card requires some research. nervous, you’re not in the mood.

Strange thing about sex: it’s better if you actually want it. So take your time. Touch each other. Kiss.

Just let things go the way they go instead of focusing on the big deed (and if it doesn’t happen this time, don’t worry about it. There will be other chances).

Most importantly, make sure you’re with someone you’re comfortable with and trust. If they’re experienced, all the better – they can guide you through. If they’re

Psych Talk

also a virgin, then you can explore this new territory together. Either way, your partner should put you at ease, not make you self-conscious and nervous.

2. Prepare. Save yourself a lot of future worry and think ahead.

Arrange for a comfortable, private place (if parents are in the house, nobody is ever going to relax).

Have a water-based lubricant (especially if you or your partner is circumcised – a lot of lubrication is lost without the foreskin). Even

more importantly, use a form of protection.

Though very effective, birth control pills are not an ideal contraceptive, unless you’re in a committed relationship and know for sure that both partners are tested clean. Unlike condoms, the pill does not protect against sexually transmitted infections, and considering a recent Statistics Canada study revealed that one out of seven Canadians have herpes, it’s much better to be safe than sorry.

Just make sure that if you are using condoms, that you are using a water-based lubricant – oils, such as Vaseline and hand lotion, will break condoms down.

Also, be careful when opening the package so nothing is accidentally torn, and make sure to hold onto the base of the condom when pulling out after ejaculation.

3. Know the facts. Although “breaking the cherry” sounds painful and violent, in fact most women’s hymens wear away during adolescence. The hymen also has no nerve endings, and it doesn’t cause bleeding.

So why do so many people claim intercourse is painful for women the first time? Often, it’s because the woman isn’t relaxed and is

tense and anxious, or because the man is being too rough (here’s a hint – porn is NOT a how-to guide for real sex. Don’t pound, clown).

It’s the vaginal tissue that’s bleeding. There might be some initial discomfort for the first time, but there should not be pain.

If there is serious pain, stop.

There could be many reasons for pain during sex for women, ranging from endometriosis to an imperforate hymen. And there can be pain for men, too. They can have phimosis, or the frenulum can be torn. You should probably consult a doctor if it seems to be something more serious than nerves or bad handling.

And there will be a certain amount of bad handling and awkwardness, likely on both ends if you’re both inexperienced. It’s a good thing though. Your first time shouldn’t be the pinnacle of your sexual experience. You’re just lacing up your hiking boots. You have your whole life to perfect sex, so enjoy it while it’s new and fresh and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Haute Stuff

Stress erodes emotional control

Fashion lessons for broke students

CONTRIBUTOR

THE CASCADE

JENNIFER COLBOURNE The science

With school comes stress. But as if stress wasn’t bad enough—effects ranging from poor concentration, depression, and memory problems to diarrhea, nausea, and chest pains—according to a recent study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), stress also increases the difficulty of regulating emotions.

In this experiment, participants were taught how to regulate their responses to an aversive stimulus they had been conditioned to fear.

The next day when exposed to the stimulus, those participants who had been stressed beforehand were unable to regulate their fear, unlike their unstressed counterparts who showed significant reductions.

Levels of both fear and stress were measured biologically.

Currently, cognitive emotion regulation techniques are often used to help with emotional problems, but most emotions that need regulation do, of course, occur under conditions of stress. This study indicates that these techniques could be seriously undermined by stress. “In other words,” Elizabeth Phelps, one of the study’s authors and a NYU psychology professor says, “what you learn in the clinic may not be as relevant in the real world when you’re stressed.”

You, me, and UFV

Well, it may not come as a huge surprise that emotional problems come hand in hand with stress, to which periodic waves of midterm/final breakdowns can attest.

Roommates, friends and partners under pressure have shorter fuses and lower breaking points. Emo-

tional self-control, as this study supports, can be a challenge.

This only makes it more important to work on managing and reducing stress during the school year. With the precarious balancing act that has to be maintained between school, work, family and friends, never mind the accompanying financial, social and academic problems, it is inevitable that every student experiences a modicum of stress.

Exercise is an obvious wellknown stress reducer. Fortunately, the UFV U-Pass can be used at the Abbotsford, Matsqui, Chilliwack, Cheam, and Mission Leisure Centres, so exercise doesn’t have to cost anything. It may be difficult to find the time, but most of the exercise machines have reading racks that can be used for studying. Or, for a break from the books, there are also a variety of drop-in exercise classes available.

Meditation and relaxation are also famous anxiety killers. Again, it is difficult to find time, but not impossible with diligent scheduling. Even listening to calm music on the bus or studying in the bathtub are perfectly valid options.

Every bit helps, as does getting a good night’s sleep and eating well.

Just as important as living healthy, though, is scheduling your time. The planner was invented for a reason. Procrastinating is a surefire way to breed stress, yet rampant among students. It may seem against the unwritten student code to study or write a paper the week before—not the night before—a looming due date, but it will make life unbelievably easier.

It may seem like a lot of work, but making the extra effort to manage stress will not only keep your health in check, but your emotions as well.

SASHA MOEDT

In my first year of university, tights were in style, under a big sweater or short dress with a thick belt, a long necklace and little flats. Oh, and dead straight hair.

I wanted to be stylish, so I spent what little money I had on nice clothes. But it really was a failure. I got cold in class because I wasn’t wearing warm enough clothes, so I had to put my old ski jacket over my cutie-patootie dress and looked awful anyways.

I spent two hours in front of the mirror straightening my hair. My feet were dead by the day’s end because little flats offer no support. And anyways, my thighs are too big to pull off tights, and my hair frizzed up like no tomorrow.

But even after all that, I just looked like everyone else. Why do fashion articles say things like, “use fashion to express yourself,” and then talk about what Miley Cyrus is wearing, or what’s trendy this season?

If you think about what stands out to you style-wise in other people, what is it? It’s people who don’t conform, who take on their own personal look. It’s that girl who loved The Great Gatsby and is now in a ‘20s get-up. It’s the guy who wears the authentic Cowichan sweater, the girl with the worn riding boots, black bomber jacket, and red lips.

Do you know what’s interesting? Interesting-looking people.

It gets tiring looking at men and women trying to conform to that one in-style look that we seem to have each year. Some people are fairly successful, but usually you just see the different ways they fail. Isn’t it true? You see men and

image: ohthecuteness/Flickr

Don’t worry about following the trends -- Do what you want! women around campus trying to fit that mainstream look, and how many times do you think, “Oohh...

They didn’t pull it off.”

It may be because we’re too critical, especially in the case of women. But that’s because we’ve been trained to look at celebrities and models as the standard. And I’m sorry, but I can’t look like Taylor Swift. But if I don’t try to dress like her ...

Basically, the logic here is: avoid the styles worn by mainstream models and celebrities, and you won’t be expected to look like one. Dress up in your own unique style. People that make an impression on me are the ones that take command of their own fashion choices. The

West coast hippies. The Luna Lovegood inspired outfits. The hipsters in vintage.

As students, we don’t have a ton of money to spend on an autumn look. And how do you take command of your own fashion when the clothing stores carry only what’s in style?

This is a series about how to take control of your own personal expression through fashion.

Step One: reject everything.

Reject the new “Boho” style (Bohemian! Really! Trying to commercialize hippie style!), the incolours, the “what NOT to wear” messages. Reject everything, then adopt what suits you.

14

ARTS & LIFE

CROSSWORD

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Latin lesson

by KATIE STOBBART

ACROSS 4. The other way around. (4, 5) 7. UFV, after you graduate. (4, 5) 8. Word for word. (8) 10. Spontaneous, like a pop quiz. (9) 11. Of equal exchange or substition; an eye for an eye. (4, 3, 3)

LAST WEEK’S Answer Key Across 4. LLAMA 5. SHREW 8. WALRUS 11. ARMADILLO 12. HAMMERHEADSHARK 13. POSSUM 14. BULLFROG Down

DOWN 1. Be careful what you buy. (6, 6) 2. “I came, I saw, I conquered.” Famous words from Caesar. (4, 4, 4) 3. And all that other stuff, often abbreviated. (8) 5. Seize the day! (5, 4) 6. Seriousness; importance; weight. (8) 9. Therefore. (4)

1. HAGFISH 2. MANTIS 3. RHINOCEROS 6. WOLVERINE 7. ANTEATER 9. KANGAROO 10. KINKAJOU

The Weekly Horoscope Star Signs from Sumas Sibyl Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18

Gemini: May 21 - June 21

Libra: Sept 23 - Oct 22

Uh oh. You’re at the wrong school! You registered at SFU, not UFV!

The stars are in your favour.

One day you shall dance with them on TV.

Darth Vader is actually your father in another dimension. You ought to know.

Nooooooo!

Pisces: Feb 19 - March 20

Cancer: June 22 - July 22

Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21

You’re going to make so many friends at school this year! They’re all going to hate you.

The hills are alive. Holy crap! RUN!

Aries: March 21 - April 19

Leo: July 23 - Aug 22

Stay up all night to get lucky. No, seriously. If you fall asleep unprecedented tragedy will fall on your head.

Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21

Cow bells will be fortuitous.

What? You really expect advice from me? What do I know?

Zeus demands sacrifice. Go on the Green, build an altar and sacrifice the best of your flock immediately.

Taurus: April 20 - May 20

Virgo: Aug 23 - Sept 22

Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19

Summer is over. Enjoy the endless rain, incessant studies and overwhelming stress.

This will be a truly miserable year. Try not to let horoscopists get you down.

I know everything. You’re going to be an astronaut, so work hard and reach for the stars. Probably.

The new commuter bus is awesome! Too bad you’re going to be hit by it… or was that a possum? Well.

Someone is going down.

15

SPORTS & HEALTH

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Coach’s Corner

We’re gonna turn this show around 360 degrees

PAUL ESAU

THE CASCADE

There’s a saying we have in sports: when the going gets tough, you’ve got to man up and grab the bull by his chutzpah, because in war, just like lovin’, you can’t make hay without breaking a few eggs.

Actually that’s not what we say, but the point is that we could say it. The point is sporty types understand that, when delivered by Denzel Washington to a sweaty Virginian lockerroom, almost anything becomes inspirational. We’re not picky, and that makes for some beautiful and creative prose, which will (hopefully) make for some entertaining reading.

There are a couple rules to this section that should be explained for those of you who like rules.

Actually, since rules are the only thing standing between the NFL and, say, nuclear escalation, I’ll admit I like rules as well. The list is as follows: 1. Thou shalt not Luongo (with thy neighbour’s wife)

There will be no professional sports coverage in this section, at least in the conventional sense. For those of you who are dying to know how a certain beleaguered Canucks goaltender’s gut is feeling these days … you can find all the information, speculation, opinionation, and slander you desire from a thousand other sources. My writers aren’t going to learn much writing about a team they can’t get access to, or a player they’ve never interviewed.

They’re here to practice journalism, and journalism is about standing outside the locker rooms at the Envision Athletic Center until coach Adam Friesen emerges to explain how Jasper Moedt can score twenty points in a quarter and make his check cry like a small child.

As a university newspaper, our priority is university sports, period. Unless we have Luongo on the line, practically spilling his guts into our ear (not a great mental image), we don’t write it.

The only exceptions to this rule are professionals in sports that do not already receive saturating coverage in our community

(juggling, quidditch), and the Abbotsford Heat, since they are a) a middling crossbow shot from our office and b) provide press passes and interview access to our reporters.

2. We aim to deliver Our purpose is to inform you, the reader, about the Cascades, since you (the student) might have missed the game due to poor life choices that have left you single and/or without kidneys. This means we need interviews, we need photos (to prove the game happened), we need stats, sports clichés, captions, and we need obscure jokes. You should be able to chart the paths of each Cascades team simply by reading The Cascade newspaper, and you should have to do it with a smirk on your face and a twinkle in your eye. That is the product we aim to deliver.

3. Open try-outs all year long Most people come to me with dreams of writing about the Seahawks, the Canucks, or the NCAA. When I tell these people about the first rule they get disgusted with my prudish reli-

giousity, yet I don’t relent. “Go to a couple games,” I say, “Meet some players, study the roster, learn to care.” The CIS may not be the NCAA, it may not draw billion dollar viewing rights or fund teak-paneled workout rooms (I’m looking at you, Oregon!), but it’s still an elite level of competition. If you love sports, you can learn to love the CIS, and if you love the CIS, then you can write about it.

Because that’s the opportunity we can offer you at The Cascade. You want to be a reporter, or specifically a sports reporter?

Great. We can give you opportunities to learn, interview, and interact in ways you would never get with your occasional forum posts or blog. We can also provide the space to pitch your own ideas and make us better, since we’re students as well and we don’t claim to have a monopoly on what constitutes journalism in the twenty-first century.

Send me an email or give me a call and I promise I will follow up. This is your chance to write about something besides hegemonic biochemistry or the literary quirks of deceased Russians.

This is your chance (for those of you who understand how important this is) to get published.

4. Do peanuts make your arm hair bushier?

The above is one of those neurosis-inducing ‘facts’ that clog up the pages of supermarket magazines and health digests everywhere. Is it true? Is it science? Do peanuts have any other exotic qualities? I have to admit, I don’t know.

The fact is this section includes sports and health, and that means that we need people who know the truth about peanuts to debunk harmful myths and champion healthy lifestyles. If you think a libero is an advocate of small government, or can’t differentiate between a wicket and wiccan, yet are able to pontificate on yogurt for hours, we could use your wisdom. I’m not contractually allowed to let the health side die … so don’t let me.

Welcome to Sports & Health 2013-2014. Remember to keep your bat on the ice, and never bunt in the fourth quarter.

2013 – 2014 Home ScHeduleS Rowing Sept 28, 2013 Alumni Regatta 8 a.m.

Day

Date

Opponent

Women

Men

Friday

Nov 1

Lethbridge

6:00

8:00

Saturday

Nov 2

Calgary

5:00

7:00

Friday

Nov 15

Mt Royal

6:00

8:00

Saturday

Nov 16

Mt Royal

5:00

7:00

Friday

Nov 29

UBC

6:00

8:00

Saturday

Nov 30

UBC

5:00

7:00

Friday

Jan 24

UBCO

6:00

8:00

Golf

Saturday

Jan 25

UBCO

5:00

7:00

Fort Langley Rowing Club (Men’s & Women’s Rowing)

Oct 5-6, 2013 PACWEST Tournament 4

Friday

Jan 31

Regina

6:00

8:00

Chilliwack Golf & Country Club (Men’s Golf)

Saturday

Feb 1

Brandon

5:00

7:00

Saturday

Feb 15

TWU

5:00

7:00

Day

Date

Opponent

Women

Men

Friday

Sept 6

UNBC

Friday

Sept 6

TWU

Sunday

Sept 22

Friday

Sept 27

Saturday

Mar 8, 2014 Head of the Fort 8 a.m.

Fort Langley Rowing Club (Fort Langley, BC)

Chilliwack Golf & Country Club

UFV Cascades Athletics

Basketball

Soccer

UFV Cascades Venues Exhibition Field (Chilliwack, BC) (Men’s & Women’s Soccer) Envision Athletic Centre (Men’s & Women’s Basketball & Volleyball)

Volleyball Day

Date

Opponent

Saturday

Oct 12

CBC

6:00

8:00

7:15

Friday

Oct 18

Douglas

6:00

8:00

TWU

2:00

Saturday

Oct 19

Douglas

6:00

8:00

UNBC

7:15

Friday

Nov 8

VIU

6:00

8:00

Sept 28

UNBC

7:15

Saturday

Nov 9

VIU

1:00

3:00

Friday

Oct 4

Calgary

Thur

Nov 21

COTR

6:00

8:00

Friday

Oct 4

Victoria

Friday

Nov 22

COTR

6:00

8:00

Jan 31

Capilano

6:00

8:00

5:00

5:00 7:15

Women

Men

Saturday

Oct 5

Lethbridge

5:00

Friday

Friday

Oct 11

Saskatchewan

5:00

Saturday

Feb 1

Capilano

6:00

8:00

Saturday

Oct 12

Regina

5:00

Friday

Feb 7

CamoSunday

6:00

8:00

Friday

Oct 18

Calgary

7:15

Saturday

Feb 8

CamoSunday

1:00

3:00

Saturday

Oct 19

Lethbridge

7:15

Friday

Feb 14

CBC

6:00

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16

SPORTS & HEALTH

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 www.ufvcascade.ca

Cascades soccer gears up for a new season JESS WIND

THE CASCADE

A cross-border matchup between Western Washington University (WWU) and the UFV Cascades ended in a split result for the men’s and women’s soccer squads.

Taking the Chilliwack turf at Townsend Park in the afternoon, the women started out strong. There was consistent communication from Cascades’ keeper Kayla Klim that transferred through the midfield, as back and forth effort from both sides and solid goaltending by Klim kept the match scoreless at half. The Cascades would need to push out harder for another 45 minutes to take the game.

A quick pep talk from head coach Rob Giesbrecht at half focused on confidence and trust in both their individual play and their work as a team.

Unfortunately it was not enough; WWU came out with a strong offensive push in the second, weaving in and out of the Cascades’ defensive line.

An early goal in the second by WWU was immediately called offside, but the Cascades played a step behind afterwards.

Despite WWU going up by one with 17 left and another with

Cascades striker Carly Neeson evades a tackle. under three to end the game 2-0, there was some standout play coming from the UFV side in this preseason matchup.

Defender Karlee Pederson held the left side of the field, while defender Jade Palm performed well in midfield and was named player of the match. Veteran striker Carly Neeson was solid in creating many scoring

opportunities for the Cascades, though WWU was able to hold them off.

Going forward, the ladies will need to ensure they can step up to the physical level that teams like WWU present and continue their work as a unit for a full 90 minutes.

The Cascade men were more successful after taking the turf

Flames rebuild holds significant changes for Heat TIM UBELS

CONTRIBUTOR

After the departure of the team’s biggest stars in Jay Bouwmeester, Jarome Iginla, and Mikka Kiprusoff, the Calgary Flames organization appears to have finally begun their long awaited rebuild – something their fan base has been calling for during the past few seasons. Flames General Manager Jay Feaster cleaned house over the past six months and in doing so has afforded the organization’s young talent the opportunity to make the jump to the NHL level.

With the Flames training camp just days away, Abbotsford Heat fans will have to say goodbye to a few roster staples from past seasons, with the likes of Sven Baertschi, Max Reinhart and T.J. Brodie all in the running for a spot in the big show this fall after impressive performances with the team last season. Combine this with the exodus of all three Heat goaltenders from last season, with Barry Brust signing onto the KHL, Danny Taylor joining the SHL, and Leland Irving signing a tryout agreement in the SM-liiga, and one has to wonder how the Heat will shore up their roster and if they will be as competitive as last year’s team.

The Flames organization currently has four netminders under contract who will be vying for spots at the NHL and AHL level. Joey MacDonald, 33, who filled in for the often-injured Mikka Kiprusoff last season, will be given a shot to start the 2013-2014 campaign with the Flames. After MacDonald, however, it will be a good struggle for playing time with Finnish goaltender Karri Rämö, 27, leading the fight after signing a two-year deal worth $5.8 million this offseason with the Flames.

Although his salary would affirm that he is the frontrunner in net, Rämö will

have to adjust his play from international rules to North American rules, which is a difficult task. The most likely candidates for a starting position with the Heat will be highly touted goaltending prospects Reto Berra and Joni Ortio, who will get a good look from management over the next few weeks. Jon Gillies and Laurent Brossoit will likely return to junior for more conditioning after training camp.

At the forward position, things will stay mostly the same for the Heat, with newly acquired players like Ben Hanowski, who was acquired in the Iginla trade, and Finnish draft pick Markus Granlund likely to crack the Heat lineup out of training camp.

Defense on the other hand will see a major overhaul from last season. Chris Breen, who has spent the past three full seasons with the Heat, will be the most experienced defenseman after the Flames decided not to resign Brady Lamb and Brett Carson. The rest of the team’s defensive core (Mark Cundari, John Ramage, Chad Billins, Tyler Wotherspoon and James Martin) combine for a whopping 78 games at the AHL level, and this young group will need to look to players like Breen for guidance and leadership as they adapt to the AHL level.

With so much fresh blood being injected into the Flames organization, it’s difficult to estimate the potential of both the Flames and Heat for the upcoming season; many players are unproven in this league and will need time to adjust their game in order to work well on their respective teams. Maybe the current crop of prospects will stabilize the team or maybe it will take a few years and a lot of patience. Only time will tell.

The Abbotsford Heat host a preseason game against the Canucks’ new affiliate, the Utica Comets, on Sept 22, and start the season on the road against the Lake Erie Monsters on Oct 4.

Image: Jess Wind/The Cascade

in the early evening. Playing their fourth game in four days, they met WWU with physicality and skill, showing they are ready for regular season play.

Veteran keeper Mark Village was solid in net, coming out to attack everything in his zone.

Even late in the second when WWU challenged him several times he kept the game score-

less. The men were able to work the ball up the field quickly, keeping it out of reach of attacking WWU players.

The only goal came at the 33rd minute from defender Ryan Liddard off a free kick awarded just outside the 18-yard box. It was a direct shot to the upper right corner of the net, out of reach of the opposing keeper.

Going into the second half, the Cascades were searching for a second goal, and came out with immediate force that would last for the remaining 45 minutes of play.

Third-year defender Colton O’Neill, who is back from his summer on the Whitecaps Premier Development League club, had an opportunity at 58 minutes, sending a flying header just wide of the net.

There were opportunities to capitalize on the Cascades’ play, but many shots were sent high over the WWU net.

The Cascades soccer teams kick off their regular season play on Sept. 6 at Exhibition Field in Chilliwack BC. The women take the pitch at 5 pm against the University of Northern British Columbia Timberwolves. The men play immediately after at 7:15 pm against the Trinity Western Spartans.